The F Plus - 256: Findumb
Episode Date: July 9, 2017The financial domination subculture is one centered around the act of one person giving money to another personfor reasons which must be self evident. We're looking at the thoughts and habits of ...both the findoms and the paypigs, and the troubles they have getting along with each other. This week, The F Plus can't reach the end of Josh's Amazon wishlist.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The F Plus Live is happening soon.
Saturday, August 19th in the wonderful city of Minneapolis.
We're going into Grumpy's Bar and we're taking over the fucking place.
Tickets are on presale now at thefpl.us.
And on Sunday, there's an after party.
That's Saturday, August 19th.
If you can find a way to get here, you'll be glad you got here.
I want to be rich and I want lots of money.
I don't care about clever.
I don't care about funny.
I want loads of clothes and fuck loads of diamonds.
I heard people die while they're trying to find them.
And I'll take my clothes.
Hey, listeners.
This is your free podcast for the week, and it's the F+.
It's terrible things right with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight, we have Boots Reingear.
Items I have sold.
Bag of boogers.
Flosser teeth with my smelly G-spring.
Jack check.
Hot cash rape session with Money Slave turns cash master on Fyndom.
Bunny bread.
Black Lives Matter and financial domination.
A connection?
Hi, I'm white really
white squiddy all of you fin slaves can send me starbucks gift cards bump girl my current slaves
are dumb asses so i need a new slave to write my essay there is a time limit and a topic must be a
good writer if the essay is written good with minor mistakes. You'll probably have a full-time position as a homework slave.
And Lemon.
ATMs pay $100 now.
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ATMs pay $100 now. ATMs pay $100 now. ATMs pay $100 now. ATMs pay $100 now. ATMs pay $100 now. ATMs pay $100 now. ATMs pay $100 now. And that's what makes my life so fucking fantastic And I am a weapon of massive consumption
And it's not my fault, it's how I'm programmed to function
I look at the sun and I look in the mirror
I'm on the right track, yeah, we're on to a winner
Hey, F+.
Yeah.
Hi, Lemon.
Hello.
Hey, how's it going?
Hey, how's your side hustle going these days?
Oh, fucking God.
I've been sticking guys up in the back of my head.
What?
I'm out in my own alley.
A bustle?
What?
I've been hustling and flowing pretty well.
Well, this is a new media millennium and that means that uh nobody's allowed to just like
have one job you have to um you know have different sources of income and different
um things that you do in order to keep yourself financially solvent in order to be
a tastemaker and that's the really the most important thing that you can be
um and so uh you know this podcast shit is obviously not helpingemaker and that's the really the most important thing that you can be um and so uh
you know this podcast shit is obviously not helping out with that in the slightest so um i thought that
uh i would uh help us out by by finding some new some new uh venues for that so uh i understand we
have uh two uh very intelligent lovely ladies in the room. Yeah.
And those are?
Buddy Bread, Jack Jack.
All right.
Yeah.
For a certain definition of room.
And to that end, I want to introduce you to this document that Girlkisser has provided,
and it is called FINDOM. So FINDOM, we have touched on in some other episodes, but FINDOM stands for financial domination.
It is a fetish wherein women demand things from men and transaction
complete.
Okay.
That's nice.
Concise.
Alright, so
in return the men
have things demanded from them.
Exactly.
So we're going to start off
here with a very informative and helpful place.
I'm talking, of course, about Literotica.
And I think, Squiddy, if you can introduce us here to this world of Fyndom.
This article is by Nojo, and it's called Fyndom.
Is it right for me?
Okay, ladies.
You've got your cam set up, and you're ready to start your career as an online financial dom.
That's true.
But is fin dom the right fetish for you?
You have a lot to choose from.
This handy, easy-to-use guide will help you get your business up and running in no time.
And you can watch the tributes roll in.
Okay, so what is Fyndom, anyway?
I'm still kind of hung up on the idea of tributes.
Yeah, and I'm picturing, like, heads rolling in.
We're going to learn plenty about tributes.
That word's going to come up a lot in this document.
I promise you that.
Great.
Yay.
Great.
Fyndom is a fucked-up version of a simple male-female dynamic.
Um.
Um.
All right.
Well, it wasn't fucked up before.
We might as well fuck it up.
Men use money slash power to get women.
Women use men to get money slash power.
Okay, I'm sure.
Okay.
I don't... But certain men want to take it way beyond that.
What?
They want to become a sort of zero-friction conduit for this money-slash-power exchange,
so it flows through them directly into the hands of the women.
What does the slave get from all this?
The delightful feeling of freedom from responsibility.
Oh, good!
Well, never mind.
There is a quid pro quo.
I was wrong.
I'm sorry.
And the freedom from having to make decisions. Of course. Plus less money. Freedom, never mind. There is a quid pro quo. I was wrong. I'm sorry. And the freedom from having to make decisions.
Of course.
Plus less money.
Freedom.
Terrible freedom.
Freedom from freedom.
Hey, Sweeney, I have a follow-up question for you.
Yes?
But isn't it morally reprehensible?
Financial domination is considered an extreme form of fendum fetish.
Fendom fetish.
Yeah. All I know is that, pretty obviously, it's an
addiction that can seriously fuck up your life.
Sounds great.
It's not really
extreme, it's just very addictive and
can quickly ruin you financially, just like
gambling can. And, like gambling,
it can probably drive some poor bastards
to suicide.
It's not really extreme.
If I told you how much money I spent on financial doms last month...
Oh, I'm a man.
Wait.
Okay, ladies, you've got your cam set up.
Get doodish.
Wait a second.
If I told you how much money I spent on financial doms last month, you'd probably think I was lying.
I think I might be a man.
All right.
You're a man.
Get to doodling.
I know, I have the same...
Oh! Oh! We're getting
Fyndom mansplained to us!
Oh, that's nice.
There we are.
I feel like we should really switch to lemon.
You know, ladies, you're welcome.
It's a huge percentage of my income, well over half.
And my gross income last month would have been pretty good
if it weren't for that goddamn
GT goddess tax. Goddess tax.
Thank you.
Yay!
I love jargon!
That is a fucking amazing term.
So yes, in my opinion,
it is morally reprehensible.
In fact, it is downright evil.
And in spite of
my affection for evil, in this case, I mean plain evil.
Oh, fuck you, Satan.
Yep, evil like Ebola, not illicit evil like cocaine or naughty evil like a big box of Belgian chocolates.
Your fetish is... okay, cool.
Hey, is it true? Is it true?
Holy crap, this is a child.
Is it true, Femdom Mansplainer, that you're the perfect example of a Fimdom slave?
I am.
So study me well, ladies.
I don't want my cock and balls tortured, thanks.
You're welcome.
Or my back flayed or my ass bucked by a dildo.
Nor do I want a woman to laugh at my tiny cock.
Mainly because it's not tiny.
Disclaimer.
Disclaimer.
It's pretty big and it looks pretty damn nifty
when I have a boner.
Nifty boner.
That's the number one word that people
use to describe their penis.
It's keen. Camgirls have
tried small penis humiliation on me
but they're more likely to gasp
OMG than laugh
at my inadequacy when they see my
dick.
Wow, you know what? You're getting me They're more likely to gasp, OMG, than laugh at my inadequacy when they see my dick. Yeah.
Wow.
You know what?
You're getting me sort of turned around on the idea of humiliating you, asshole.
Oh, you're giving me thousands of dollars?
Your dick is huge.
Hey, uh, hey, uh, Squiddy, how do I hook a slave?
Now that you understand their psychology do I hook a slave?
Now that you understand their psychology, hooking a slave is simple.
Just remember what they're looking for.
Absolute perfection.
Okay.
Done and done.
Most of the hooking will actually be done by the slaves themselves by allowing them to submit to their distorted vision of you as a goddess rather than a woman.
So it's all about suggestions rather than being too blatant.
I'm getting so confused
of who he's actually talking to here.
Us? The prospective
fin-dom?
Goddesses. Okay.
Gotta get that GT.
This guy is
telling the ladies what he wants in a muggy.
They desperately want to believe you're some
kind of supreme being. They haven't seen
you gnawing at your finger.
Oh my gosh, he keeps capitalizing you.
Yeah.
Talking about God.
God death.
He did say they're goddesses.
Alright.
They haven't seen you gnawing at your fingernails at the bus stop when you're late for your dentist appointment.
Here are some basic do's and don'ts.
Do.
Put your cam on the floor, point it upwards slightly so that you can dangle your stilettos in their face while they stare at your sheer tights.
Okay.
Do.
Those are leggings, not tights.
Adopt a Mona Lisa smile.
This is similar to the smile you give
when you've just had an orgasm.
Or if you don't get orgasms.
Yeah.
It puts that painting in a completely different context.
When you bought the last 80% markdown Gucci dress on sale
just before that bitch with the Botox
managed to nab it.
Wow, he knows women.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that's Botox managed to nab it. Wow, he knows women. Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, I feel like
I'm with my people. That's precisely what I got out of that.
There's two types of women, am I right, fellas?
The ones that get jeans, bitch
with the Botox!
Do mention money the whole time.
How greedy you are. How addicted
they will become. How silly they look staring
at your beauty, even if you can't see them.
Exude confidence.
A lot of Fyndam addicts are also addicts of other vices,
so drop hints about heroin, gambling, booze,
and Pokemon card collecting.
Until you...
Somebody just responded to one of those triggers, I think.
Do it.
Do slide a credit card seductively up and down your tights.
Wait, do you then have to get a subdermal implant of a square reader?
Yeah.
Are you committed?
If you don't have a credit card,
a library card will do.
Don't let him get too close a view of it, as it could possibly
make you look a bit pathetic.
This bitch reads books!
Boo.
Do. Use a mic, but always talk
gently and calmly. Remember, slaves
don't want screeching. They want hypnosis
and sensual seduction.
Sensual seduction.
Thank you.
I was waiting for that.
I want to get me on your body!
Remain serene and
dignified. To that end, don't
fart. That's a different fetish
altogether.
And we'll just keep it to the force.
Wait, what do I do now?
I thought you were a professional.
Only fart on cakes.
Different fetish.
Ladies.
Different fetish.
All right.
That's a lady.
Ladies. Different fetish.
All right.
So we learned something about how to be a Fyndam from one of the experts in the field, clearly.
So it's time to meet a pathetic loser here.
So Jack Chick.
Yes.
Your name is... I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, Chick, your name is I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like you can see
inside my soul.
Stop whispering.
Jack Chick, your name is Loser Mark
and tell us about yourself.
Hello
princesses.
I am a pathetic loser in search of a mean, manipulative princess to mindfuck me into her obedient puppet!
She will laugh at me, eh, how helpless I have become!
She will make me oink as I pay her and verbally degrade me!
I will be her total bitch!
My rank is
worm.
Is that good? You lose a mark back
here. Wait, what happens?
By the way, we're in the
Fyndom community, and
you can get ranked on
the Fyndom community. That seems very
confusing. Like, what happens if you
level up in this forum?
Isn't it just a post count kind of thing?
Well, yeah, but it's still, I mean, you know, you're still getting, like, multiple stars.
Everybody's a worm in this thread.
That's true, that's true.
Except for Fyndom Heather Lee.
Tell us about yourself.
I still don't see your fucking $250, you ugly pig.
I think I will get a screenshot of this,
your initial payment, and send it to your wife.
Ain't that fun?
Uh, absolutely indiscernible smiley face.
Well, uh, I'm not sure who you are
or what you're talking about.
You must have me confused with someone else.
Uh, yeah, by the way, so... That's how it started. God, you're so stupid. to someone else.
Yeah, by the way.
That's how it started.
God, you're so stupid.
So we are on the we are on the
findoms.net forums.
You can imagine
what it looks like.
The header says
who needs to be spanked
by at findoms.net.
So, yeah.
So, Bunny Bread,
your name is Iceblock.
And
you got a post you want to share here.
Well, hi!
My name's Iceblock. How's it going?
Hi!
I joined the forum simply because
Mistress Bea
demanded it through her email service.
I'm a slave and serve
a mistress in real life.
Isn't that something?
Okay. Well, you know,
kind of. She doesn't really dominate
me, but I give her lots of
money because she
needs it to live, and I
don't mean she needs the money to live extravagantly,
but she genuinely needs me
to pay her rent, debts, bills, etc.
And I... Okay, that's a debts, bills, etc. And I am too much of a softie to find a true mistress
who will actually dominate me and force me to do things against my will.
Which is what really turns me on.
My real life mistress most enjoys foot domination,
as do little I, but it seems not much else.
But I love her and hate to imagine what might happen to her if we were separated.
So to compensate, all of a sudden I capitalize, enjoy reading the works of people like Mistress Bella
and what she does to her slaves and fantasize that it were
me humiliating myself before
her, demeaning myself publicly
for her, and
forced to suffer the horror of being
consensuously blackmailed.
Oh! Yay!
Here I was sitting here
thinking when he mentioned reading he was
going to bring out Octavia Butler or something.
Is that what you were thinking? Really? You actually thought he was going to bring out octavia butler or something is that what you're thinking really you actually thought that was gonna happen
yeah he's gonna go and talk about his uh his tastes in uh in modern sci-fi
oh we could have had a fun conversation but no but no instead it's fucking fin dom
you'll find you'll find your slave squid you'll find it
the greatest flaw in my character, in case you were wondering,
other than being born a male,
is that I cannot say no when demanded to do something by a dominant woman.
It has gotten me into trouble before now,
and I expect it probably will again in the future.
Any capital mistress reading this that would like to exploit this vlog can now be aware that by just posting in this section that I am fair game.
That is the great, you know, smelling stuff for you.
I'm fair game for you.
I don't know.
I'm Nigel Pooch.
Oh, hello.
Hi.
Hey.
pooch. Oh, hello!
Hi.
Hey!
Your situation is fairly similar to mine.
Yeah, I put tape all over my face, too.
I'm
Bella's blackmail bitch. I'm a
tree dweller. Yep.
I'm such a pathetic shit-eating
loser. That's your
sig. I had a mistress in real life, but she wasn't really very dominant.
I don't think you did, though.
And I paid her by choice because I felt sorry for her, rather than because I had to.
I tried to get her to blackmail me, but she wasn't really good at it.
You should have blackmailed her to blackmail you, you fool!
Come on!
I'm committing all these murders and shit!
Just like
pointing to a graph and
the word leverage.
Setting up a PowerPoint presentation
on how to effectively blackmail
me.
Just like sending envelopes
that say skeletons in closets.
And I could talk her round to my way.
She wasn't really good at it,
and I could talk her round
to my way of thinking easily.
Wow.
That's why I contacted
Mistress Bella easily. That's why I contacted Mistress
Bella
and entered a consensual
blackmail contract with her.
Yay!
You should think very
closely about maybe doing
the same thing.
I think you might
enjoy it.
Do you want to hear my signature?
I do want to hear your signature.
For every move I make, Bella corrects me.
She reminds me every day how I love to wear my sagging nappy full of my own excrement.
I don't know why you would need to be reminded.
I'm so filthy
and dirty.
Feel free to tell me
how pathetic I am.
Sarcastic
smiley.
I think that's an excessively coy
smiley.
Well, I've heard a lot about Mistress Bella.
She sounds fun.
So, Bump Girl, will you introduce us to Mistress Bella, please?
Well, I am not a worm or a tree dweller.
I have Do You Have What It Takes Global Moderator Forum Contributor with 90 whole posts.
Whoa.
Damn.
She's got some stars.
Respect your dom. Whoa. Damn. She's got some stars. Respect your dom.
Be obedient always.
Topic.
Need to go to the bathroom?
No, I'm fine.
Funny you should ask.
No, you can kind of go before we start the podcast.
But thanks for asking, I guess.
Well, for some of my worthless runts,
they have to pay for the privilege to go to the throne.
The throne?
I don't know what I threw, but...
Need release the pressure pigs?
Release the pressure pigs!
I don't know.
Those are like flying monkeys.
Is that a phrase that's used anywhere else
i vote you to google it um in the meantime pay first i did no then go later ensure you squeeze
out every penny you paid for uh hey mistress bella i'm looking uh at your signature here uh
do you have any specializations?
I specialize in many aspects of
financial domination, including humiliation,
cum denial, consensual blackmail, etc.
Etc.
You know, same old, same old.
Lose complete control of yourself
to yours truly. Don't hesitate.
My name's
Zippy, and my avatar is
the corn singer. I wish I could crap out money
Now that's control
I love that she doesn't come back to this or anything
This is it
We're not worth it
Lazy ass dominatrix
All those assholes went to the bathroom
without giving me money
I will move on to a new technique
You just keep trying
You'll get there
So Girlkisser has put together in the document
A poster spotlight on
Sergeant J. Dusar
And Sergeant J. Dusar
Has a review
On Findoms.com.
Jack Chick, if you will tell me about this review, please.
Absolutely.
Thank you.
Please bear in mind, this is only a review of the website known as Findoms.com.
This is posted to Findoms.net.
Yes, exactly.
This is only my personal opinion of the site findoms.com.
It is only based on my own reviews and my own thoughts on that site.
You may have other opinions of findoms.com.
Black you, male you.
Can we get a.com.net.org hierarchy for this?
Oh, yeah, I'll get in that shit.
Just on principle.
I think we might be able to get that.
I'll buy findoms.xyz.
Findoms.ninja.
Being that I have been involved in the FD interest basically all my life,
I have seen FD blogs, forums, websites come and go.
For example, there once was a site called My Financial Domination Site, MFDS.
That site went offline a few years ago.
Before that, in the early 2000s up to about 2005 there was a popular fd forum site called financial slavery space dot space net yeah that
was that was that was the worst limerick i've ever read on the podcast in my own opinion, FS.SpaceNet was probably the best on the FD interest.
Not a single FD forum site or blog site has yet matched it.
FS.SpaceNet was by far not perfect and had issues with trolls and the hostility as well.
He's coming out with the hostility.
But IMO, it was the best so far.
FS.spacenet went off.
Sorry.
FS.spacenet went offline about 2005 after the web space site owner, understandably so, became disillusioned with the FD interest.
Disillusioned?
Like what? Like what?
Like corporate, like, you know, like corporatization?
That kind of thing?
Yeah, it used to be all about the money.
Now it's all about the money.
I prefer artisanal financial domination.
Of course, of course.
Keep my money local.
Finspacedoms.com, in my opinion, is a fake FD site.
A home for perverts, freak, morons, knuckleheads, penis pick-senders, and the like.
Wow.
It is not a F...
Oh, no.
They gotta live somewhere.
It is not a FD site, and I have yet to see a true FD on that website.
It has...
How many hours have you spent looking?
I don't know. he's not a prevert
he is a lifelong money slave yeah it has low class and disrespects critics of the topics
if you are a true fd if you have a profile on the findomspace.com site i suggest leaving that site
you are you are not doing the FD interest any good.
They're a lobby?
They're an FD lobby?
My personal dislike of FindomSpace.com is the high amount of penis pics.
Oh.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is a very roundabout way to get to the, I'm not gay, but...
You know, I've got eight dicks thrown in my mouth, you know. They're just sitting there.
It seems a
high percentage of the male profiles involve
some kind of a male penis in the profile
image. This is why I call
finnspace domsspace
dot space com colon
Space space. Let me just read that
URL to you again.
finnspacedoms space dot space com colon.
The penis pic sender's paradise website.
Fin space dom space dot com equals fake financial domination.
That's a good tagline.
That's a complicated math problem.
So if you go to findoms.com at the top you'll see
all of the users
that are currently online.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like who?
Like what kind of users
are online?
Okay, so
it's a mix
of doms
and subs.
I would assume.
And the doms are
they have the usernames
you'd expect
such as like
Brandy, Bella,
Goddess V,
News Dynamite.
But
it's easy to tell who the guys are because they have usernames like Tiny Clit Loser, Humiliate Addicts.
Andy Feet Licker.
Yeah.
Oh, there was a weakling wimp.
Weak Vegan.
Well, that's ridiculous now.
No such thing exists.
Chump. Going such thing exists. Chump.
Going broke for you.
Oh, that's a good one.
That's a really good one.
Who's shy boy toy is clever that's only a black square for an avatar.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, so we've got so many exciting Fyndom sites to look at.
We're going to go to MoneySlaves.com.
In the time that it took between
GirlKisser submitting this document
and us getting to this document,
MoneySlaves.com has gone
offline, but it is
saved here in the document available on
TGFPL.us. The owner of
MoneySlaves.com went broke somehow.
For some reason.
For some reason. For some reason.
So, yeah, so this thread is called
Pay Off My Student Loan, and
Squiddy, your name is sweet
to ooth for you.
I will gladly turn the face of
the piggy who pays off my student loan
into a rocking chair. I will sit
bare on your face, nuzzling your nose
deep. It twixt my cheeks.
I need $2,500 now.
Poor piggies need not inquire.
Your time to please me has come and gone.
Well, then wait.
No, I can't give you my money then,
if it's okay.
Just give me money.
Okay.
I'm pay piggy,, 2, 1.
God luck.
You're right.
God luck.
I am your god now.
Pay me, you worthless bitch.
Skype.
Have you had
many takers?
Hmm, not sure why a sub who can't make a proper contribution would care if there were any takers.
To answer your question, I'm sorting through responses.
There's a plethora of fakes on this site.
Oh, dear.
I agree.
There are a number of fakes.
Both piggies and princesses.
And Harry G, the boast,
the gift of a hairy woman master, buddy.
Yay!
And to prove my point.
You're welcome.
Oh, goody. A useless video.
Very fitting of you.
All has gone quiet,
madame. What have you got to say?
Hmm. Fugly
Harry G, your mother should have swallowed you.
You're not a money slave. In fact, you're a broke loser in desperate need of attention.
You're not even worth shitting or pissing on.
I'm most certain my tiniest strap-on cock is bigger than you.
I'll gladly repay your measly $40 at this point to punch you in the face repeatedly, you weak, broke bitch.
Oh!
Fucking slide-scrotum. Oh, God.
Okay. Yep, yep.
Fucking slide-scrotum first down a sharp blade
into a bath of rubbing alcohol.
You deserve pain and torture,
you worthless time waster.
What more would you like to hear, you lonely, pathetic
attention whore?
I'm the attention go on keep talking
bitch i'll reply when i'm free again be sure not to hold your breath while waiting or you may die
so patiently wait by the computer screen until i'm ready to greet you with my lovely presence again
you must really love me bitch to keep desiring so much contact. Say you love me and imagine the black rubber cock deep in your throat, you fucking attention slut.
Wow, that is very rude to say.
Good day.
And scene.
I will take my leave of you, lady.
I said good luck.
These guys really suck at this.
I didn't expect her to be so rude about it.
My lord!
The next section in this document is called Tumblr Without the Feet Picks.
Okay.
So that's fun.
I mean, what's the point then?
Yeah.
Isn't that just, like, abstract space?
And I think I remember seeing this on Ball Pit at one point, but hey, it's the Celebrity
Fandom Totally 80s Halloween Party.
Wow, kiss the red!
Oh, boy.
Here's some 80s graphics.
It's on Monday, October 24th, so look forward to that.
My name's Lykia Storm.
Lykia Storm.
Hey, submissives.
My name's Lykia Storm.
Lykia Storm.
Hey, submissives.
In order to attend our Halloween online social, you must be a member of the Celebrity Fyndom forums.
Okay.
Read the instructions at the top of the forum in order to apply for admittance.
Monday, it's a Facebook page.
And, oh, that got ads.
Here we go.
Details. and, oh, that got ads. Here we go. Details, celebrity fin-doms and fin-dom stars,
wear your most excellent PJs
or totally tubular Halloween costumes
and get ready to share your choice 1980s images,
movies, music, slang, and fashion faux pas.
Get ready to bust a move
because featured at this primo party
will be our own cold celebrity dom DJ
spinning mega clutch
tunage. Crucial!
Here's how. Share your most
righteous images and bangin'
bodacious stories of 1980s
flair and fun.
Who and what are your faves and why?
Bring your own Jawbreakers,
Cool Ranch Doritos, Pop Rocks,
Fanta, Twinkies, all of this shit exists.
Jell-O shots, Reese's Pieces,
Blow Pops, Wine Coolers, Capri Suns, Seagrams,
Gobstoppers, and other
gnarly grindage you simply must
have. Let's partay!
Dudes, Bettys, and
Bimbettes, this jam is going
to be so bomb, it's totally minticated.
Fans and acolytes and slaves, don't be grody.
Bring your wallets and hand over that fatty cash stack.
Dude, don't be lame and Bogart that cha-ching.
Do I get bonus points for dressing up as Corey Feldman
or anybody else that went broke in the 80s?
Bogart, by the way, means to get your spit all over a joint.
So don't put all of your money in your mouth.
We are totally juicing that credit card and taking it to the max.
Get ready to treat us to mint gifts and goodies
while you eavesdrop on our slumber party chatter.
In fact, we require your interaction completely.
It's your job to compliment our selections
and ooh and ah over our stories.
OMG, cheat ooh, like no duh, you can hardly wait.
Sound fun, right right I want my money
back
not a lot of people reblog this on
tumblr
hey bunny bread are you
ready to leave tumblr and go
to a different website oh my god
no you're not you can never actually ready to leave Tumblr and go to a different website? Oh my god. No.
You're not?
You can never actually be on Tumblr.
We're all going to move on. I'm just now understanding Tumblr.
Wait, no.
Really? Teach a class.
So yeah,
so you said yes, and to that end, we're going to
clipsforsale.com.
Clips for sale.
Hold up. Fuck. to that end, we're going to clipsforsale.com Clips for Sale! What? Oh, hold on.
Fuck.
Here we go, Clips.
I didn't do an
incognito window at the beginning of this.
Am I really going to suffer?
Yep! Oh, great.
I'll fix your computer later. Thank you.
You can give me
some money, too, for that. There it is.
Oh, well, fair enough.
So, BunnyBreadClipsForSale.com,
this is called
the Christmas Money Fairy
from S.S. Experiment Dollhouse.
Is this it?
Okay, are we looking
at a second life
Nazi fairy?
Yeah.
Tell us about it.
Why did you ask that?
It's the SS Experimental House.
Tell us about it, please.
Time for us to have a white Christmas this year.
I will be your Christmas fairy and haunt your dreams with my ways.
This Fyndham fairy will haunt your nightmare with my perverse demands.
That's what fairies do.
They haunt things.
Words don't mean things.
My creamy white skin and pure, untainted coursing through...
It's the opposite of her taint.
It's coursing through your veins.
My creamy white skin and pure, yeah, untainted coursing through my veins should make your wallet stand firm.
I'm the white fairy of your dreams.
The one you long to serve since you started to masturbate.
Your only purpose in life is to take care of your white fairy and my needs.
But, remember, stupid
faggot, nothing is free.
What? What?
That was not very nice out of nowhere.
Related categories, aliens
and monsters. We're pledging allegiance
to Second Life and culture?
That doesn't
sound like a good idea.
That's the only not good
idea on this site.
Hey, sound like a good idea? Keyword. That's the only not good idea on this site.
Hey, SS Experiment Dollhouse,
do you have any other related videos at the bottom of the page there?
Jesus, I gotta click on this again, do I?
Oh, man.
Any related videos?
Any related videos at all?
Shit.
Hello, I'm Ebony Fuckbot
right
have you met my friend
Stepford Bride Fembot
or the clown who knew too much
the clown who knew too much
also say hi to
Blonde Cheerleading Findom
or Diary of a 19 year old school girl
and Iron Pussy oh I didn't even see that one a blonde cheerleading fin dom or diary of a 19 year old school girl and iron pussy
oh I didn't even see that one
I am iron pussy
and all great princess
gets fucked
wait wait I almost looked past greedy and virginal
Jewish princess
there's also a delinquent babysitter in you
or it's in your box or St. Patrick money Jewish princess. There's also a delinquent babysitter in you.
It's in your box.
Or St. Patrick money fairy.
Then make her give me all your money.
19.
I think these are all done in
Second Life.
They are all Second Life videos.
I don't know enough about Second Life.
Are they like porn videos? Or is it... Well, I videos, so are they... I don't know enough about Second Life. Are they, like, porn videos, or is it...
Well, I mean, in so far as...
I mean, yes, sort of.
Okay, all right.
I get it.
Oh, by the way, I found one in the...
I went a couple pages deep,
and I found one in here that's not Second Life.
So it's a sort of, like like goth-looking woman that says,
Spermula!
Deep damage plays Spermula!
She is a Spermulite,
the vampiric inhabitant of a dying planet.
The only way she can save her planet
is by sucking the men of planet Earth dry of sperm!
Yeah, yeah.
Makes sense, you know.
Yeah.
I switched to Spermulite when I was on a diet last week.
Spermulate.
Did you lose any weight?
No, but I always have a weird taste in my mouth.
Oh, okay.
Do you lose any sperm?
Bump Girl, time for you to have a choice here.
So that's exciting.
So I got two different clips for sales
That you can tell us about, okay?
Isn't that exciting?
Alright, great
I picked something
Does the other one have to get rid by Jimmy Franks at some point?
Yes, absolutely it does
So
Option number one
Is Prussian Kitten
Zwallet Draining Homewrecker
And the other one is calledussian Kitten's Wallet Draining Homewrecker.
And the other one is called A Cuck's Christmas. Oh.
I know.
You know?
There's a right answer?
Yeah, yeah.
Prussian.
Pick me.
All right.
Prussian Kitten's Wallet Draining Homewrecker. This pick me. All right. Prussian kittens wallet draining a home wrecker.
This looks awesome.
Second life.
Oh, it is also by Experimental House.
Okay.
So tell us about your video, please.
I don't think I can do that.
I will have to tell you about me instead.
I am a beautiful, young, German, proud goddess.
I am 100% German, Italian, Spanish, Hungarian, Russian,
Romanian. That's not how 100%
works at all. You're 100% of that?
I am 100%
German, Italian, Spanish, Hungarian,
Russian, Romanian, platinum hair,
Prussian blue eyes, creamy skin, tall and beautiful.
My platinum hair and... Wait, there's no periods
anywhere. Okay.
Yes, I am 100%.
Platinum hair, Prussian blueussian blue eyes creamy skin tall and beautiful
my platinum hair and creamy skin will not allow you to turn your back to me
your cock will grow and grow as i push you into financial slavery this goddess do not take no
for an answer and i do not like ask to ask for anything. Come and get taxed by a true
goddess.
There's only one thing
left to do with this hole in my wallet.
Related category
brat girls.
Alright, so
we're gonna move on now
to the Money
Domineeris' store.
That's at Money Domineeris.
Domineeris.
Money Domineeris.
It's kind of...
Anyway, so boots.
I'm not sure exactly what this is, but I do know that you have a product here that's a hundred dollars and it's
called it pays and prays on its knees would you tell me about that uh sure
it pays and prays on its knees cult masterpiece mp3 oh this is a hundred100 audio file. Great. Yay. This scandal-y, this scandalously famous MP3 was created in 2008 in response to a huge
interest in my It Pays and Prays prayer, in which my stuttering foot slave was given by
me to pray without ceasing.
It has prayed this prayer literally for years on end.
While so many so-called doms had fits over the fact I call a collection of my slaves it.
And how I should treat them as humans.
Lol.
I have written about this dehumanization objectification,
training extensively on my royal diary since its inception,
along with data on other slaves,
which I created
in this same breed.
I think maybe somebody should come over and
look at the caps lock key on your keyboard.
It seems to be malfunctioning.
The best
money slaves
are aware of my
wickedly popular kneeling
auctions.
are aware of my wickedly popular kneeling auctions.
Written about extensively by the slave who interviewed me for Auk and Dickie Virgin.
Dickie Virgin?
Is Auk and Dickie Virgin like a partnership?
Like Smith and Wesson or anything like that?
Hello, it's like Batman and Robin.
Here we go.
Heckler and Auk.
DickieVirgin.com, oh boy!
Where several slaves paid 60 plus dollars a minute to kneel in prayer to me.
Reciting these prayers over and over.
OMG, I am renowned for the way in which I treat you as my intimate objects.
My kneeling auditions.
Oh, sorry.
Inanimate objects.
My kneeling auditions.
And this MP3 are so famous.
They literally have a cult following.
I set the
trends
by being me.
And the masses
follow me like sheep.
I am
legendary.
It's really nice
to know, like... This clip was featured on my website and is no longer available.
So don't miss your chance to add it to your collection via this direct link only.
Get your hands on it now.
So it's not available.
Here it is.
You can now purchase and download it.
It's no longer available.
Here it is.
Much like capitalization, I don't think she understands scarcity.
I don't know.
I kind of like her.
Yeah?
Yeah?
What do you like about her?
I don't know.
I feel dominated by all of the...
You feel a kinship?
Yes.
No, no, not a kinship.
All of the sudden capitalization and...
Yeah, it's pretty intense capitalization when you get right down to it.
It feels extra capitalized, right?
Yeah, I am feeling like I would do whatever at this point just to get this to stop.
Yeah.
And we did.
We interrupted.
It worked.
Yeah, and it worked.
Not done yet.
Stop.
Indulge in the hit of my viciously cute voice.
Oh, I am. Oh, I am.
Oh, I am, Boots.
This MP3 is raw and unedited
as it was recorded on September 2008.
Yeah, sure.
In the most raw and unedited of months.
It's a good vintage for a video.
What a jam.
Good vintage for fetish videos.
Oh, sorry. Audios.
Audios. Audios.
This dehumanization
indoctrination
MP3 includes
it pays in praise.
It pays in praise.
I like that.
Dehumanization. Indoct like that. I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dehumanization.
Indoctrination.
Religious domination.
Matriarchy.
Religious domination.
Female supremacy.
Kneeling auction.
Kneeling auctions.
Classical conditioning.
Classical conditioning.
Objectification.
Culp masterpiece. Culp following. Classical conditioning. Objectification. Cult masterpiece.
Cult following.
Fandom.
Money dom.
Financial domination.
Fandom and money dom. Wow.
And financial domination.
Fandom, money dom, financial domination.
Rinser.
Rinsing.
Price $100.
Now that's what I call
Fin Dom. Yeah.
That's a pretty good deal for getting both
kneeling auction and kneeling auctions.
Shit, yeah, man. That's like, it's a reasonable
price of none.
And two times classical conditioning.
Fuck yes.
Man, that was
that was really fun. You mean that was really fun.
You mean that was really fun?
Yeah.
So anyways, you guys
want to hear another one by her? Nope.
Absolutely. Alright, well this is
Wallet Brain Warp, my latest
post-hypnotic trigger ASMR
video. ASMR?
Where did we all get
those trick rings?
But they're like, they're just like going in and out, too.
They don't work very well.
Here I am on my Maryland rendezvous wearing the most gorgeous sparkly designer stiletto heels hypnotizing you with my pretty
size seven feet
long long legs
alabaster skin
and sparkly high heels
super classy
oh my god
my hypnotic perfection
stirs up a tsunami
of my pot
pink liquid poison.
What?
In your
brain!
Jinkies!
I'm not
drinking!
I'm not drinking!
I want to know more about
your hot pink liquid poison.
I want to know more about your hot pink liquid poison. I want to know more about jinkies.
I think you should Google that phrase.
Oh.
Loaded with ASMR brain dingleys.
Post-hypnotic trigger subliminals.
Dangerously hypnotic fetic trigger subliminals. Dangerously hypnotic
fetishistic superliminals.
I can hear all the superliminals.
They are coming through loud and clear.
Binaural beats
and layer upon
layer of covert
mind control techniques.
You won't know what
hit you. Buy now
and experience the force of nature that is me.
What does this video feature, by the way?
This post-hypnotic trigger video contains post-hypnotic trigger,
hypno-dom, wallet brain warp, hypno-trigger, ASMR, stiletto heels, stilettos, long legs, high heels, high heel fetish, and a bunch of other feet shit.
Oh, also Marilyn Monroe.
And Marilyn Rendezvous.
That's her.
They work as a duo.
Sorry, I don't think my brain read that.
It was too stupid.
One person liked this on Facebook.
So actually interesting, if you do Google search hot pink liquid poison,
you'll get a surprisingly large number of results
for different Fyndom sites.
So apparently it is actually just jargon.
I guess, okay,
because I was assuming it was going to be
like an urban decay, like nail polish.
That was my guess.
I just thought it was Mr. Bubble.
All right, well, you were wrong about that.
Shit.
It might actually be Mr. Bubble though
I mean
That would be a really cheap way of providing people
With hot pink liquid poison
It's actually just like bubble tape
How I got
Financially dominated by Mr. Bubble
By Chuck Tingle.
In the butt.
So before this recording started,
we were chatting about the idea of the sort of gender imbalance
that seems to be happening in financial domination
with the women demanding money from men.
And we were wondering if there was
the reverse of that.
And to that end, I would like to introduce you to
Findomstud.com
Are you sure you want to introduce
your wives to
Findomstud.com?
I want to introduce my wives
to Findomstud.com. I want to introduce my wives to FinDomStud.com, yes.
So, I quite like this graphic design.
It's really nice.
It's the nicest we've seen so far.
Yeah, so Bunny Bread, your name is Hypno Superior.
Yeah, it is.
Why don't you tell us about whatever this is?
I'm about to, but I forgot how to type.
Studs don't have to know that shit.
I hope this guy really likes hashtags.
I went to the raves section, and that doesn't have anything to do with raving at all.
What?
Fyndom Stud has figured out that you can replace the letter S with a dollar sign.
Is this today's event?
Oh, shit, he's contacted the cash money millionaire.
He'll take over the world.
Make him say, uh.
Yeah, so Hypno Superior, tell us about yourself, please.
Today is a day of thanks, correct?
This is is in fact
the day okay give thanks to your hypno masters and cash god and financial domination all them
hashtags today is a day of thanks and in the u.s not, you should always be grateful for Master Josh.
You know him.
You love him.
Okay.
Stick with him. No superior, Josh.
The first man kicked out of the Sugar Hill game.
For there is nothing you should be more thankful for than me, Master Josh.
Thankful that I provide you with so much material
to whack yourself with all my blogs.
Huh.
Okay.
Whack yourself.
With your blog.
Materials such as spin wheel games,
poppers games, and shopping spree,
where both of the S's in shopping spree are dollar signs.
Are you whacking yet?
I'm thinking maybe this guy dominates other men.
Yes, I'm just suggesting.
Yes, I think you might be right, yeah.
Anyways, dicks now.
Fine.
Thankful that I create so much excellent content at affordable prices.
Thankful that I even offer free samples so you can try before you buy.
Thankful that you are able to explore your wildest fantasies in a way that is safe.
Thankful that you can let go of inhibitions to make fantasies become reality.
Thankful that if you need to be put down in your place, I am there to do that.
Thankful that I have the skills and powers to get deep in your mind. Thankful. Oh, finally. Yeah, mind. That's the way to a that. Thankful that I have the skills and powers to get deep in your mind.
Thankful. Oh, finally.
Yeah, mind, that's the way to a man.
Thankful that you can free yourself
from the burdens of materialism.
Thankful that you can feel the
pleasure as you spoil your
hypno-god instead.
Give thanks today to the hypno-
superior, the financial
domination stud,
for giving your life meaning and purpose and filling you with so much pleasure.
And show your appreciation and gratitude right now.
Tithe your thanks to Master Josh.
I feel like you should be Master Hashtag Josh.
That's better.
Tell us what happens when you click on tithe.
Tithe or tributes.
Just the tithe you're thanks
to master Josh. It takes you to the tribute site.
Okay, that's what I was looking at.
You know what?
Yeah, click on that link and then
master Josh, where can I
tip you?
Wait.
Oh.
Where can I tip you?
Well, here.
Why isn't that a link?
But you can also tip me at OwnFags.com!
I think we should tip him a dollar, you guys.
How is some Xbox Pro player doesn't own ownedfags.com?
You know, I'm not
sure if it's this phenomenal web design,
but this one seems the most effective
yet.
I have
one more I want to read here. Oh, this
one has a picture of Josh!
That's an interesting
decision you made there,
Josh! But will hypnosis work for me?
Bump Girl, here's another one from the Fyndom stud.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
It's got a picture of Josh.
Okay, so.
He looks kind of mean.
I'm down with it.
There's a lot of pictures of him.
The wishless Wednesday?
Yeah, tell me about Wishlist Wednesday, please.
I had several small things bought for me for the holidays.
Well, not as exciting as the big things.
It's always awesome when I don't have to spend my own cash,
because you are all by me, everything I want or need.
I would assume that would be nice, yeah.
That includes an infuser water bottle, people!
Yeah!
Wish this was nice!
A microwave egg boiler
that's perfect for
just a few eggs at a time.
Cause temperance.
And so easy to boil.
Some cupcake liners that I
split between myself and my mom.
And also great for making protein muffins.
It's handy because I also have a fin mom
fin fetish.
Financial momma nation.
Oh my god.
He has a lot of stuff on his Amazon wish list, you guys.
I'm worth it.
It's a Fuser water bottle.
It's all I need.
He wants a flatware set.
It's all I need.
Nothing else.
I don't need any of this.
This is like the fetish bench.
These cupcake wrappers, I need those.
He wants a copy of Mario Party 9 for the Wii.
Me.
Not once.
Me.
He's going to play with all his friends.
Me and my mom, anyways.
He wants a book called
Powerful Hypnosis.
I bought
Weak Hypnosis. Turns out it sucked.
Leather
sandals.
What the hell
else is gonna go with my leather jorts.
Oh, he wants double gift cards.
Of course I do.
I'm not made of stone.
Guys, he flips off the camera in every
single picture.
Oh, well, he, you know...
Josh has got a Josh.
Wait, he wants you know. Well, no, no, I just have real bad arthritis. Josh has got a Josh. Oh, it's so good.
Wait, he wants a 12-pack of 8-ounce cans of Kraft-grated Parmesan.
You won't believe where I put him.
Oh, God.
Keep going.
Lots of olive oil he wants for some reason.
You'll see.
Well.
All right.
So these cupcake liners that I split between myself and my mom,
and also great for making protein muffins without sticking to any liners,
and a freezer mat to help prevent frost.
Yup.
Yeah.
My crap right there.
I did get a few other things as well, but they'll be spread across winter and spring.
Get your $50 gift card to California Pizza Kitchen.
He also wants a 24-ounce bottle of Kraft-created Parmesan cheese.
It's good for everything.
So, Boots, regarding that,
can I quickly just read you something
from another post that I found?
Sure.
So this is from Josh.
I bet it feels amazing for you to be sitting there
eating ramen in your dingy place,
not getting yourself any luxuries.
Motherfucker, I got $50
in TGI Friday's gift cards.
Blah.
Without walking to TGI Friday's, they'd all be like,
George!
And the companion
book to the video game Fable.
Oh, man.
Some of these things would be really funny to buy for them Because clearly they're like from years ago
Oh god
This list keeps going
Parmesan never goes out of style baby
Like a paperback called
Treat your own rotator cuff
I mean
I've been drinking pretty hard
Oh my god I've been trying pretty hard.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Yeah, apparently, I mean, I've never seen an Amazon wish list like this.
I didn't know that Amazon wish list could do that loading thing when you get to the bottom of the screen. So I can never scroll to the bottom of this wish list.
There's always more.
Oh, my gosh. In addition to wish list. There's always more.
Oh my gosh.
He's just that good.
In addition to all that olive oil,
he wants a lot of Spray Crisco and Spray Pam.
Guys, he's looking for a Fall Out Boy album.
He wants a t-shirt with a hypnotic spiral in the middle of it.
That'll help.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It looks like a roll of carpet, actually.
And then he's going to spin around in front of people.
I do a lot
of cartwheels, right?
He records a video and it just
has the video spin his body
with the circle and his shirt in the center.
You hypnotized yet? How about now?
How about now? How about now?
It would work on me.
Hey, you can pay his bills for him.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, of course.
All right, all right, all right, all right.
F plus, I was waiting for us to be ready for it.
We are now ready for it.
It's time for poetry.
Yeah.
God damn it.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit.
Jack, check you like poetry.
I'm going to give you a choice here Fucking
I got two different poems
I got two different poems for you to choose from
One of them is based on the night before Christmas
And one of them isn't
Why is it always that
Yeah would you like
the one that's based on Not Before Christmas or the one that isn't?
Um,
no, no, no, let's
do the fucking Nightmare Before Christmas.
Alright, so
that means we're still reading
about Fyndam, stud.
And, uh,
this is a hashtag
financial domination
Xmas Eve poem.
Hashtag master, hashtag slave.
Yeah, take it, won't you?
Twas the night before Christmas
when all through the house
not a creature was stirring,
not even a louse.
The dog slaves were nestled
all snug in their cages
while the cash fags had dreams
of handing me wages.
When out on the lawn
I heard a loud jingle
and peered out to see my fellow
Sir Master Kringle. The stump
of a pipe held firmly
in fist and a reindeer tattoo
sprung up from his wrist.
He was jacked
yet had a gut,
a true muscle bear,
looking like a daddy with his beard and snow-white hair.
Beneath a leather jacket,
he wore one of his red latex suits,
and the dom kept his feet warm
with shiny black boots.
This sir had trained hundreds of slaves
the old guard way, including
the eight nude muscle slaves pulling
his sleigh. Oh, nice.
Hundreds of young twinks made
toys back at his workshop, and
the disobedient mined coal,
or faced the crop.
Chris, my bud, I asked
Chris, my bud, I asked, it's your busiest night.
Isn't your schedule the tiniest bit tight?
Yes, Master Josh, but I come bringing cash for a good guy like you should add to his stash.
But have I been good when I pervert so many minds?
Yet you bring your listeners pleasures of all kinds.
Plus you've made recruiting easier than ever.
I use your files to ensure my slaves obey forever.
This is scanning really well at this point.
Yeah, I know.
The scanship's perfect.
It's just great.
I'm glad to help, but don't you have toys to distribute?
I do, Master Josh, but first a thank you tribute.
And with that, Master Kringles...
Wow. Okay.
You didn't think that was getting shoehorned in?
Come on.
Distribute and tribute rhymes.
Tribute, tribute, tribute.
Let's see. What rhymes with...
Oh, shit! Mike Jones!
But Lemon, who is Mike Jones?
And with that, Master Kringle flew off into the sky
as I saw for the first time a mussel slave fly.
My mind drifted off as I thought about Kriosov finding recruits.
He went to great lengths, even down chimneys and chutes.
Sometimes he'd find good boys wanting to help with the mission.
Other times a bad boy that had started to feel contrition.
Okay, come on, buddy. Jesus.
So we always have this problem where as we do poems,
the lines get longer and longer and longer.
If you're doing it directly off another poem,
this should not be happening.
I don't know if you've noticed about this,
about Josh here,
but he doesn't seem actually very competent.
I'm really dull.
He's got a middle finger in his photo for you, motherfucker.
Damn it, you're right.
I forgot about that.
He's actually just like super, super
good at Fendom and
just bad at every other
means of communication.
No, no, no. This is Poem Dom right here.
You pay for this.
Yeah, I would
pay him to stop fucking paying for this.
Oh, this is the quality you get when we don't pay.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
I woke up later
that night back in my bed,
had it all been a dream.
One line, one line.
Thinking of those muscle slaves
obeying, I was ready to
cream. As I wrote it all
down, I thought, I may
very well be going to hell,
but my hypnosis does give pleasure,
so perhaps best not to dwell.
I logged onto my computer
and into each of my accounts.
Thanks to slave tributes, they were all at
higher amounts.
And...
I don't...
Give him money!
And just as I was ready to deem
the whole experience imaginary,
I heard a distant yell,
May your holidays be lucrative and merry.
Oh, yeah.
Murray, Murray.
Imagine.
Lucrative and Murray.
Murray.
Imaginary.
Yeah.
It was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring.
I mean, some of them were, but, you know, not any
of the humans anyway. Not even a mouse.
And let's throw an ellipsis
into that line anyways, too, for good measure.
Comma, whatever. I want to hear some more poetry.
Yeah, I bet you do.
Would you like to hear a poem by
He's got a poem tag.
by either Domina X
or Domina X?
Would you like to hear a poem by Domina X, Boots? Oh, God, I'd love to hear that. I'd love to hear Bump Girl read a poem by Domina X or Domina X? Would you like to hear a poem by Domina X, Boots?
I'd love to hear that.
I'd love to hear Bump Girl read a poem by Domina X.
I would imagine you would.
Bump Girl, bring us Untitled by Domina X.
Tonight, as I lay thinking here,
the fin sluts begged to sniff my rear.
Great.
Good.
Great.
They begged to pay me rear. Great. Good. Great. They begged to pay me
all night long. Their wallets
shrank as their debts grew long.
Ooh. Work life.
Can fin sluts pay
to be my tool?
Can fin sluts fill my
money pool?
Do fin sluts want to be
beat up?
Are fin sluts ready to fill my cup?
I love Dr. Seuss.
Do broken Fin Sluts ever cry?
Would Fin Slut payments ever die?
Do Fin Sluts come to give me cash?
Do Fin Sluts need financial smash?
Do Fin Sluts need financial smash? Do Fin Sluts need financial smash?
Do fin sluts need financial smash?
What can the fin slut do for me?
Oh, where my fin slut can you be?
What if my fin slut pays too much?
What if my fin slut wants to touch?
You know, I know that your poem is called Untitled.
I think I have a title for you.
It's called Slut Fins.
I'm just imagining like a shark fetish now.
Yes, me too.
I'm having that problem.
Oh, sorry, that wasn't part of the poem.
I think Montreux is filthy.
Or just, yeah, sluts for Montreux.
Yeah.
I think the fin slut would never dare. Can dreaming fin sluts from Entrez. Yeah. I think the finslut would never dare.
Can dreaming finsluts pay my fare?
What if the finsluts gets flut...
Wait, but what if the finslut gets found out?
Can fin dom ruin orgasmic doubt?
Do finsluts ooze financial honey?
Are finsluts born to give me money?
My wallet expands, your shrinking begins,
as the rock-hard finslet pays again.
Again.
So good.
Again.
So good.
Your rhymes work until the very last one.
Fitness strong, fitness strong, fitness strong.
Fuck!
Unless you're Scottish.
Oh, my God.
I'm just imagining a Scottish pin-down.
All right.
Now imagine an Australian one.
Australian next.
Put the pins in a pig.
All right.
Okay, so we are going to close this on a woman by the name of Princess Sierra.
And Princess Sierra bills herself as the original financial domination exploitrix.
Oh, yeah.
That's good shit.
That's good shit.
If she's not the original, she's the best.
Yeah.
Princess Sierra, like so many people, has more Twitter followers than me.
So, Princess Sierra, Squinty, will you tell me about the Queen Ant Theory, please?
I would be happy to.
I have a theory.
I call it the queen ant theory.
Every woman deserves a little colony of drones to do her bidding.
Haul the heavy things and bring her prezzies and royal jelly.
The boy ants work for her, live for her.
She does whatever she feels like.
Grows more majestic and beautiful every day.
I shouldn't talk about actual
insect biology, right?
No, please do.
No, please do.
Save me from this.
Oh, go right ahead, please.
Do bug knees bend backwards?
Sometimes my arms bend backwards.
Most of the ants aren't boys.
And royal jelly actually comes from bees.
Well, it's just a theory.
But queen ants do get more and more beautiful every day.
They do get lots of prezzies.
If she decides to trample on her measly ant slaves,
oh well, there will be more.
Furthermore, the queen doesn't mate
with her workers. The slaves never
get to mate. That's the
best part.
I like that
she took the
thing where people would
capitalize her and she, and she was like,
I can outdo that.
Penis is unworthy of vagina.
Right on, sister!
The penis is disgustingly filthy body part.
And no man is worthy of my beautiful and perfect temple.
In my eyes, intercourse is an unnatural
act. Men are dogs
copulating with one. Dogs are also unnatural.
Copulating one would resemble bestiality
rather than sexuality.
Men feel powerful
when they have sex with a woman, especially if she is
powerful and beautiful. Like an
urchin, he feelsuds off her superiority,
brags about it to his friends,
and tries to claim her perfection
as his own. In our world,
sexness...
Is her entire concept
of gender studies based around
fucking Fox sitcoms?
Quick question, Princess Sierra.
Do you have any issues?
I have lots of sexy issues.
Oh, good.
In our world, sex is something a woman has taken from her.
If she does it, she's a whore.
If she doesn't, she must be an ugly prude who can't get a man.
With every man a woman screws, she's considered less of a woman, easy, a tramp, a whore.
Every woman he screws is considered more of a man,
a hero, a conqueror, a stud.
So this
is the logical conclusion.
Every man
respects the woman who will never
fuck him.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yep. And they want to hear
about your stories, too.
And your cats.
Some may hate her, but no one can argue the fact that sexually unattainable woman is the most esteemed woman of all.
And I know what you need.
I will tell you what you need. I will tell you what you need.
It is in your nature to obey.
You need to be controlled.
You are a stupid creature who needs close direction, supervision, and rules.
Most of all, you need me.
That's what it's all about.
Me.
My needs.
My desire.
You gonna tell me about
your cat yet?
Would you say that you're my Venus?
I might.
That sounds like
a good analogy.
A true sub,
the subs I take as my own,
understand this phenomenon.
Many of my money slaves do not.
I'm sorry. Many of my
money slaves do not.
They think I should enjoy what they enjoy,
control them because they want to be controlled,
and it all ends after they come.
They are stupid asses and I
weed them out. They see
me once.
I don't need that crap. This isn't about
BDSM. This is about servitude.
This isn't a...
This isn't a kinky hobby
for me. You don't
pay me because I'm providing a service for you.
You pay me so you can hang out with
me.
That's true because
you're really fun.
You're really fun.
I am a lot of fun.
You just want to shoot the shit, girl?
Yes. No, not sports, though.
No.
No.
You're my bro for real, man.
Something else besides sports, okay?
Okay.
You pay me to treat you like shit because I like to.
This is about worship, devotion.
This is your new religion.
I am your goddess,
and you drop money in the collection plate
so that I can live a more luxurious life
so that I may answer a few of your prayers.
I just want to talk football. No!
No!
I just want to hang out. No.
Soccer? No! No.
Sports. Hockey?
No. I don't think
hockey counts. What about esports?
Uh, no.
Dota. You won't even
talk Counter-Strike?
Oh no, you guys.
This is starting to get into some real nerdy territory.
Can we do some beer pong? Hang on, hang on.
Back away.
Wait, beer pong I might be down for.
Alright.
No sex, though.
Here's a hundred bucks. What's up?
Are there, like, beer pong championships?
Are we getting way off track?
Probably.
Why do you think Bunny Bird would do that?
Yeah, why?
I don't like beer nor pong, sir.
Yeah.
Is this part two?
We're getting way off track.
Twist ending here.
The World Series of Beer Pong
takes place in Las Vegas
from June 1st to 5th.
Shit, got a book of flights. See ya.
Of course it does.
That is really soon, you guys.
Two weeks.
We could all make it really fast. Let's start walking right now.
Beepong.com
So F+, what did we learn from any of this?
I found a new way to be disappointed.
Expand on that, won't you?
No.
Okay.
Sorry for asking, I suppose.
Give me $50.
I love this.
This is like the most low,
this is like the lowest common denominator fucking BDSM thing.
Like, give me money and I'll tell you you're an asshole.
That's it.
It is lazy as hell.
Yeah, yeah.
I was about to say that.
Like, everything we've read is really fucking lazy.
You say that, but I feel like some of it, I mean, sort of like any sort of marketing effort is just about, you know, like repetition.
Like, I was looking here at Pinza Sierra's, like, Twitter, and she's just on it, like, all the time.
All the time.
Just, like, just every five minutes is like hey asshole you
really should be giving your money hey fuck face give me money and i i feel like that does pretty
good too i mean yeah yeah i like i was sort of thinking that like like any profession there
are people who really suck at it and people who are slightly better at it um even if the whole
thing is just a shit show and the good ones getins. People are shittier at the shit show.
It wasn't even cupcake tins now.
It was cupcake, like, paper, was it?
No, I think it's like he still got it.
It's those silicone ones that you can reuse.
Oh, see.
Oh, yeah, okay.
He got his.
Yeah, because the protein muffins don't stick to them, bro.
Haul an ass getting paid.
Make it rain, cupcake flippies.
Hey, and if you want a free sample of Finn Dunn Stud's hypnosis MP3s,
you should go to finndunstud.com slash hypnosis.
I don't think I do want that.
And if you want to give him a dollar,
if you want to just give him a dollar for no reason,
see, I think that's also part of it.
I think people are just like,
sure, I'll give some asshole a dollar.
Why not?
And then they're like, that was fun.
Maybe I'll give him $5 next time.
Yeah, that was fun.
Maybe I'll give him $10 this time.
You know what I think would be really funny?
What's that?
Is seeing random trolls in this community.
Like some guy who goes onto the Amazon wishlist
and buys the guy expansion packs to games that's on his wishlist
that he doesn't have the game for.
But don't you kind of want to do that?
So I feel like there's also that.
Like all the people who bought the box of shit
from the Cards Against Humanity people
exactly it's just you're sort of like
wait a minute this is shit
I could buy this guy the worst possible thing on his Amazon
wish list and for me I would think that was funny
but he would just return it and get money
and so everybody
wins sort of
he actually has a
there's a spin wheel game,
which is
a little
flash animation thing.
You can decide which of his bills you're going to pay for.
You can click it and it'll just give you an amount
of money that you're supposed to then pay him.
Yeah, right on the side is the tribute generator
that you can click there every time you visit
to, it'll just generate the amount you tribute to him.
It gave me one dollar.
Okay. Click here to buy
Master a random gift. Shit, I have to pay him 70.
Excellent. Claudius Imperius will be
pleased.
And if you're looking to give somebody money for no
reason, you should go to thefpl.us
and click that jumping donate
button over in the left-hand side.
What a great segue.
See, it works.
Now just call people an asshole.
Right, exactly.
Fucking assholes.
You should donate to us and we'll ignore that.
God, you're pathetic. Because that's a little boo for you.
I hate you.
And we'll not put out free content on the internet
for you to listen to.
We'll spend
hundreds of our own hours
working on this.
You fools!
Okay, bye-bye.
Bye.
Bye. Love me right, love me right If it don't get your money right
Love me right, love me right
If it don't get your money right
Would you pay my rent?
Page 10.
Sweet to Ooth.
Sweet to Ooth for you.
I don't know why you can't spell your own username.
Oh, there's a cat licking my toe.
Edit point.
Put it in sweet.
Okay, I got it.
Boots.
All right, all right, all right it. Alright, alright, alright.
And edit point comes back now.
Quit licking your toe, Boots.
Today, the role of Nutshell
will be played by Boots Reingear.
Alright, edit point didn't
come back now. Sorry about that.
Whoever edits this, edit point comes back
now.
Oh.
Is that where I start reading?
Oh my god.
You don't have to make fun of boots.
I don't care.
Oh my god.
I will.
You don't have to give me
a bunch of money to do that.
Yeah.
Okay.