The F Plus - 257: The Wizard Forums!

Episode Date: July 21, 2017

This episode on The Wizard Forums can best be described with this opening note from the document: Order within each section is approximately “least likely to be a serial killer” to “most likely to be a serial killer.”

Next post, the Kardashians are human comrades. Wow. Wow. I came for the terror readings, and I stayed because you kidnapped me? I'm not sure. Food class anger. Welcome to the F Plus Podcast. It's a terrible place. There's terrible things. They're red with enthusiasm.

In the room tonight we have Boots Rangier. Bug Boy on Xenophobe 431 ADT doesn't worship God or Jesus or Adonai or Ra or Thor or etc. It probably worships happy feeling queen sex bug or some math equation. Nutshell Gulag! I've spent the last decade not just playing with fire but juggling whole magical flamethrowers and now I'm

in a hell dimension. He's your friend on the internet and his name is Adam Bozarth. I'm completely exiled by the real mages of the noble and arcane arts. I swore at my vows to eliminate all of them

and others because they rejected my application. Kumquats up! Is sex magick really worth it since orgasm depletes your energy? And Lemon. I just wanted to stop in and say hi.

I'm going to be around sometime probably around January, but feel free to ask any questions. Overall, I'm doing all right. Shit is getting better, and I'm banging a lot of girls. Wizard. Wizard. Pictures. Wizard. Wizard.

Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard. Wizard Forums! The Wizard Forums! Hi, F+. Hello.

Greetings, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. Hey, how is everyone doing tonight? Really good. Really, really, really good. Feeling pretty magical. Great, great. So I have been looking at The Hopper lately, and I just want to say that some of these listeners have been providing

some really really incredible things um there's somebody by the name of mix who is like destroying uh everything that is alive inside of him um providing documents like providing documents like taoism and the art of prostate milking um and the one that I just added, which is called Let's Cook with Our Vaginas. And we will get to that, but before we get to that, hey, are you F plus into McGick? I mean, like... We love McGick.

Yeah, of course. You mean McGick the gathering? It's my favorite curd game. I don't know if we get new listeners anymore, but like, Girlkisser420, and Yavuz Sultan Salim. A power trio if there ever was one. Indeed, yes. They are the Ted Nugent band, only without the whole Ted Nugent part. But yeah, so they describe the site that we're looking at here, which is called wizardforums.com.

Wizard forums. And this document is subtitled, just like other McGick apps, except for weirdly more racist and psychotic. Yay! So, yeah, so wizardforums.com is, I mean, it's purely that. There's a weird yin-yang in the logo with an inner glow effect that doesn't help. And then from there, I mean, there's a bunch of sections, meditation, spirituality and religion, energy manipulation, vampirism, herbalism. I just want to point out that the yin-yang and the logo is black on both parts, so that's fun. Right.

Yeah, it's a yang-yang. But yeah, so we're going to learn a little bit here from the wizard forums. We're going to start off with section one, which is called Making the Magick Making the McGick Happen. And Adam, would you start us off here?

Your name is Fortuner. I am Fortuner, and I am a three-star journeyman. Okay. Okay. Hi, I am new here. I made a vinegar jar. I do not have black cat hair And dog hair

I only have petition paper I draw black hearts too Rusty nails, needles, broken mirrors Red pepper, dog feces Graveyard dirt, lemon And remains of black candle I believe this girl Is a money hungry

Comma, a money hungry commaungry... Comma. A money-hungry comma. She is way much younger than him. After several days of cursing the vinegar jar, I feel like I no longer desire him like I used to. Boy, that's gotta smell great. This post needs a lot of footnotes. I think... Lemon?

Why is this happening? We just dove right into some advanced wizard magic that... Or, sorry, McGick. I think... Lemon? Why is this happening? We just dove right into some advanced wizard magic that... or, sorry, McGick. I just... this list of things... Also, why does he have you, Lemon? Well, he... like, he drew... he draws black hearts, but then, like, he draws

graveyard dirt? I mean, that's impressive that you would be able to draw graveyard dirt in a way that it would be, like, recognizable. I think they're... what they're doing is they're shoveling all this stuff into the jar with the vinegar. No, he's just played Drawsome a lot. You mean Drawful? That one.

Yeah, okay. It's the rip-off sequel. Why is this happening? I was upset. I was ob- obsessed with him before. He could have used a spell to make me obsessed. What do you think? I also feel sorry for him.

I really feel my spell is working. On my mind, I say that I pity him for choosing her. He is abroad now, and I have no idea about the name of the girl. It's not a choice. Okay, alright, starting off really pretty easy here.

Boots, this thread is called, Why Are So Many Occultists Poor? Yeah, I am the God King, who is also the Witch King. No, your title is Witch King. Oh, I am the God King, who is a Witch King. Yeah, as the God King has reached the rank of the Witch King. Your parents named you for the job they wanted you to have. Why are so many occultists, quote-unquote, poor? I've seen this question pop up on a few other forums.

I'm a member of, so I figured, why not bring it to the wizard forums? So yes, why are so many people who practice magic poor and by poor I don't mean living below the poverty line I mean that they're not rich or wealthy but so

so not okay so poor poor with your scare quotes means people who aren't rich is that what poor means uh-huh okay i just said it okay yeah no good we occultists can bring the angels down from heaven and the demons up from hell we can commune with the dead, heal the sick, and destroy our enemies. But it seems that many people are unable to generate wealth. I mean, yes. Yes. Agreed. So what's that about, huh? I have my own beliefs on this, but I'd like to hear yours. And before anyone says it, the whole,

I don't need money to be happy bullshit is exactly that. Bullshit. So, okay. So you don't want to be Bill Gates rich. Fine. But what's wrong with having enough money in the bank to do whatever you want

when you want? Having enough money that if that if you get fired from your job, you don't have to worry about how you're going to pay your bills for at least several years, not months. So,

with that, why aren't more magicians wealthy? Interesting. So, with that, why aren't more magicians wealthy? Interesting. Well, I'm sure that there's a lot of good theories here. Nutshell, do you have a theory? I offer occult coaching and spiritual services. Why, I do have a theory. It's

a simple theory. I'm Shadow, the Satanic Reverend Wraith. And it's simple. Our energies are focused A simple theory. I'm Shadow, the satanic reverend, Wraith. And it's simple. Our energies are focused elsewhere, and often we become less consumed by this lower realm, and more advancing our status in the higher ones. I certainly wish I was here at chair, though. Not realize that the better oof you are, the better oof here, the better oof you are there. Why did that word happen multiple times? O-O-F-F. Well, yeah, that's how you

spell oof. Not even how you spell the oof in oofta. Can you read your signature to us? Jesus Christ. I think it says, um, Hail Satan Shadow. I've been practicing reading Jack Chick's metal shirts. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a master class right there.

Um, excuse me. My name is Animal Kind. And I'm a witch. I'm a four star witch. Um, excuse me. Yes? I have used rituals on wealth. And I have been extremely lucky. Okay, good job. Good for you.

The best occultists are the ones who shut up about it. Ooh, I see, I see. Notice how I don't take my own advice. So it's, it's, it's, uh, it's old, it's old money McGick versus nouveau McGick. Uh, prosperity is something

which can be generated, but it has to come from the heart. Think about this. Feng Shui is a form of occultism. And loads have become rich by this. A magical, independent, truth-seeking woman! Feng Shui is a form of occultism.

Boy, howdy. Yes, and lots of people are making tons of money off of it. Some people are probably making a lot of money off of feng shui, honestly. Okay. Oh, yeah. Feng shui consultants? But do you think loads have become rich off it? Well...

I don't know. I mean... I would categorize the people who've gotten rich off of f Well, I don't know. I mean... I would categorize the people who've gotten rich off of Feng Shui as lords. Adam, remind me, who is Paul Walker? Paul Walker was a Hollywood actor

who is no longer with us, but he was the star of many Fast and Furious movies. Oh, I see. So he was in a couple, and then did he die on the set? Is that what happened? No. He died in a car. No, I believe he just died in an unrelated fast car thing.

Car crash, yes. Hey, Paul Walker equals Hex to death? My name's... I just said no. He died in an unrelated... No, no, no, no, no. I consulted the wizard forums. Strong Unaware is my name.

I'm a magician. And how many people believe that Hollywood executives hexed Paul Walker and that is why he died? We're all sick of making money off this guy. He needs to die. Walker hexed by execs. And then Boots, your name

is Nightingale. No. His name is Nightgale. Oh, Night... Okay, I mean Nighting... Okay. No. It's just a really windy night, goddammit. Why would they have?

He made them billions with the Fast and Furious movies. Now that is a little generous. There is a lot that goes on behind the scenes at Hollywood. Who cares how much he made them? All Hollywood actors are expendable to some extent. There are new actors slash talent always. And Adam, your name is Night Demon, which is different from Night Gale. Oh, it's my cousin.

I don't believe anything like that. If anyone wanted someone dead and they had millions of dollars, then why not hire some assassins for the drop? For decades, assassination has been the prime source of getting someone who is in your way.

And this has gone on for decades? I'm sure that there's a couple hundred assassinations daily. What is it? Well, I mean, to be fair, if poor means somebody who's not rich, then assassination could be a really broad

term. That's why there's such a thriving trade in, like, hay carts next to tall buildings. Okay, so, number one, it seems that the media was aware of his death before it happened. At first they reported his death early, then retracted the statement as a hoax, then reported his real death. On November 29th, MediaMass.net reported Paul Walker had died earlier this week, then retracted it as a hoax, then confirmed Saturday afternoon that the crash had happened. The Porsche Carrera GT, a.k.a. The Widowmaker. The Porsche Carrera GT was actually nicknamed The Widowmaker in exotic car circles. Actors who have died via the Porsche GT series, James Dean, Ryan Dunn, and now Paul Walker.

Now, I would not categorize Ryan Dunn as an actor. Walker. Now, I would not categorize Ryan Dunn as an actor. I mean, he did appear in what was the Camp Kill Yourself movie? Haggard the movie? Oh, yeah, exactly. That's a good point.

Although, like, James Dean was in a Porsche. A Porsche. You mean The Widowmaker. Right, yeah. The history of Paul Walker. Paul Walker was a a child actor he was the grandson of famous irish prize fighter billy joe walker that's in quotes for some reason one of paul walker's first roles was on highway to heaven he played an orphan why am i doing this he played an orphan mentally challenged young boy looking for a family. Paul Walker has a 15-year-old mentally disabled daughter.

What a conspiracy! Because of this, Walker supported many charities that helped poor disabled children. Here's the doppelganger accident! Paul Walked died the exact same way Michael Hastings, BuzzFeed, and Rolling Stone reporter died this past June. Now that Paul Walker

is dead, he is Paul Walked. You're right. Oh, Lord. Loose ends. It is hard to believe when he died that his car crashed and then bursted into flames. The Porsche Carrera GT, which is mid-engine rear-wheel drive vehicle meaning the

engine is at the rear of the vehicle there is a lot of crash videos of exotic cars on youtube some of them look like the cars would burst into flames but they don't because the engine is in the rear of the vehicle so is usually unaffected by the impact itself apparently the object walker's car struck was a small tree that was actually still standing after the vehicle struck it and burst into flames, leaving the wreckage almost unrecognizable. Very implausible. The driver?

The other deceased is Walker's business partner, Roger Rodas. Uh. Uh. No, no, no, you need to be in the next one. So, Roger Rodas.

Rodas was involved in a charity to help widows and children in El Salvador. MS-13 is in El Salvador. No, no, no. Knight is in. MS-13 is El Salvador. Wow!

The whole country This is turning into a children's hospital plot It is already established The CIA is in cahoots With MS-13 and Sonola's meth distribution and sales In the US Roger Rhodes slash Rodas is originally

From El Salvador, according to reports, in a page of the company Merrill Lynch. What? What? In a page of the company Merrill Lynch. Yeah. This is making more sense as I go on. Of course it is.

An El Salvadorian media outlet is calling Rodas, comma, line break, Walker's friend and financial advisor. Thus, there doesn't have to be a motive. Thus. Thus. Yeah, thus there doesn't have to be. Yeah, friend and financial advisor.

Therefore, there doesn't have to be a motive. You don't need motives. There doesn't have to be a motive. It's almost an accident. Jeez. Yeah. be a motive. It's almost an accident. It is made for the news headlines events, like most psyops are. For the purposes... Wizards!

Wizards! The wizard forums! I'm being psychologically attacked by entertainment tonight! For the purposes of affecting each and every one of us on a different level, triggering some of us, affecting us in a way

that we may not consciously ever even understand, I will just leave the room and let your minds cook and everything that i've just brought you stew on that um i think it's time for a choice now nutshell would you like to make a choice here great sure great okay uh i'm looking at the two two next things in the document, and you're going to choose between them. So thread number one is called Malfas the President. And if it helps, I'll spell Malfas for you. M-A-L-P-H-A-S. The President.

That is thread number one. Thread number two is called Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! Oh, Macaulay Culkin. is called Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! Oh, Macaulay Culkin. Alright. Macaulay. Call back to FBusLive.

One? Two. Yes, well, one. It was one. It's the same thing. Nobody showed up for either of them. I guess I'll go with Malfas the President. Malfas the President. Terrific. Okay, so this threat is called Malfas the President. Your name is Thesombra. You're a wizard with four stars.

And bring us some truth, please. Well, a few months ago, a friend approached me for some help with his asshole uncle. He'd been throwing all sorts of malicious sorceries his way. Wizard for him. I'm so sad that the word uncle isn't there. I really wish it was your friend that approached you for some help with his asshole. Hey, dude. Hey, dude, wake up.

My asshole uncle's been hitting me with all sort of malicious sorceries. Wake up, bro. So I was informed that it was a mishmash of shamanic curse work and necromancy. Periods on both sides. A weekend later, I fast clean up and get to work. Basically the method in modern Goethe grimoire with the addition of the headless right, plus a nod to the four cardinal kings, an offering of incense to them, refer to Chaos Protocol's greater calling of seven.

I'm just going to give an offer in the incense here. Abrasax, Mothafs, I saw a blue-black crow head in my mirror. Agreed to work to undo what magical harm had been done to my friend by his uncle. Tried getting a familiar, said

no, with good reason that I won't be able to take proper care of the familiar, give my current schedule, etc. Exactly three days later, my buddy was traveling and struck up a convo with some lady, and the topic went to witchcraft and stuff. Okay, okay, okay. Turns out, lady's father is like a super shaman. They set up meeting. A few days later, at a small cost, the shaman restores his fortunes, does a cleansing rite, and gives the guy some herbs and protective charm.

Also does some work with his ancestors, Also does some work with his ancestors. Locks the uncle from doing any further harm. Blah, blah, blah. Months later, the guy who'd been jobless for a year and a half gets a white-collar IT job at a bank. Gets a girlfriend. Now pregnant, lol. A white-collar IT job.

Not one of the blue-collar IT jobs. I'll correct you on the reading for that. He gets a white-collar IT job. Not one of the blue-collar IT jobs. I'd like to correct you on the reading for that. He gets a white-collar I. T-job at a bank. Ah! That makes more sense. They need the fools that don't bank here. Basically living the life.

So yeah, McGick is work, but when it opens up, you can make a significant difference. Even just indirectly smiley face, smiley face the god king here again oh hey always nice to read motivating stories glad it all worked out for your friend

did it? you got that out of it? we got a tea job at a bank a tea job at a bank. A tea job. Adam, what are you going to do? I am going to contact Adolf Hitler with the

Ouija board. Oh, thank God. Woohoo! My name is Animal Kind, and I am a cat witch. You certainly are. You're two different cats who have magical powers. Is that like a man witch? What? No, that...

Or cat? A cat witch. On the Ouija board, and can I tell you that all that I am being extremely serious and I am not taking the piss. I am doing this because I am interested to some extent

with the history of Nazi Germany, etc. But I want to know what Adolf Hitler Oh, the JOS calls him Father Hitler, has to say for himself. And another thing, he did not die in that bunker. He died in 1965 in Argentina. That is what I read.

That is what I read as a spiritualist about Hitler. And before you throw this thread with stupid comments, I have the ignore function well and working okay. I am not alone with my beliefs. In fact, the great magister Franz Barden knew that Hitler escaped with the help of Odessa. And think about it. If Inchman Inchman Inchman's world.

Mengele and the rest of the rabble could escape, why not him? And another thing, the alleged skull of Hitler was actually the skull of a female who was roughly a decade younger than him. And another thing, the alleged skull of Hitler was actually the skull of a female who was roughly a decade younger than him. If it is hard or impossible to contact

Hitler on the Ouija board, then I will contact the other top Nazis like G.O. Bells. G.O. Bells. Who did die? His wife, Himmler, and the rest. who did die his wife Himmler

and the rest so wait wait Hitler wasn't Hitler was a teenage girl Hitler was a teenage girl Ava Braun Himmler and the rest

so in my in my googling I believe that the JOS stands for Joy of Satan oh I thought it was the Jotherhood of Steel good one JOS stands for Joy of Satan? Oh, I thought it was the Jotherhood of Steel.

Good one! Perfect joke. A+. My name's Angelo, Animalkind. Tell us what he says to you. I will when I actually get through to him. And what I'm going to do is protect myself three times

with the LBRP. I do this all the time when I contact other spirits. I do not feel that Hitler has moved on to his new life, but I do know that he is in purr-gorty. Purr-gorty! So LBRT is the lesser banning ritual of the pentagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I like that Hitler is in purgatory, because everyone in the afterlife is like, I don't know, you know, is anyone really truly evil? He's not in purgatory, he's in purgorting. So like, when you're contacting Hitler, you wouldn't want to use a slightly better version of the banning ritual of whatever?

You'd want to use the lesser? Adolf Hitler is one of the people I despise most in history for obvious reasons. It would be obvious to you. I don't know. But it will out of historical curiosity

and also I have a strange fascination with the man. I wonder if he has made up with the victims of the Holocaust on the other side. And the day I will do this is going to be on the B-Day of Adolf Hitler and the 30th April.

Listen. Do not know why I am interested with that date, but that is my take. Yes. This would be so much better if they were using the Kabbalah to try and contact Hitler.

Let's use the Ouija board to contact Hitler on 420! Yeah, this very well might surprise you, but when I went further in the thread to try to find your results, you didn't post with your findings about contacting Hitler. It was very strange.

Oh, wow. You should have used the fucking better warning pentagram. Yeah, exactly. Wrong pentagram word, you moron. And that was the last time they ever posted. Did anybody else comment like... Yeah, I did that. He's talked to all the victims of the Holocaust,

and he's super bummed out. Sorry, man, I get in the mood. I don't know. What a piece of work. Yes, work. What a piece of work Yes, work We're going to section two now In the documents

And I want to talk to you about the perfect I want to talk to you about the perfect K What's this section called? Oh, this section is called making word salad happen Okay, so I want to talk to you about the perfect K Wait, the perfect cake? The perfect K, the letter K The perfect K Okay, so the perfect K. Wait, the perfect cake? The perfect K. The letter K. The perfect K.

Okay. Okay, so the perfect K. I am going to introduce you to... I am going to introduce to you a magical symbol slash idea slash concept that is very powerful and will teach you things that make you smarter. Hey, wizards. This is an AI. Yay!

Hi! Hi! I'm a wizard! Hey, wizards! Yeah! Hey, wizards. This is an ancient... Hi, I'm a wizard! Hey, wizards! Yeah, hey, wizards! Yeah! This is an ancient magical symbol. It is the Triforce from the first...

You definitely said hey in the wrong inflection there. Hey, wizards. This is an ancient magical symbol. It's a triforce, and it is a sideways K. Most letters are magical anyways, comma, period, period, if drawn properly, period, period. Here's what this K represents. A, end parentheses, equals B, end parentheses, equals C, end parentheses. All pie slices, A, B, end parentheses, equals C, end parentheses. All pie

slices, A, B, and C are equal. So yeah, A is the bottom left triforce, B is the empty space in the middle of the triforce, and C is the bottom right triforce. Yes, and those are all... Those are all equal. Okay?

If each pie slice had a price per square foot, then they would be equal in value. Therefore, they are worth the same dollar signs. What? Look, the same amount of pie is worth the same amount of

money. You're still following me. It's the same size pie. I am with you on pie dollars. Even though one of those pie slices is the absence of pie, it is still worth the same because it's as big of an absence of pie as the other two pies are. Well, why do you eat pie? For magic.

Okay, so they are equal to each other in quantities, height, area, color, etc. They are all valued the same. They are balanced in size, values, dollars, etc. Lemon. Yes. Do they cost the same? Yes, they are balanced in size, values, dollars, etc. Lemon. Lemon. Yes. Do they cost the same? Yes, they're balanced in dollar

signs. So they are fair in exchange to another. They are proportional. Anything that is fair, balanced, proportional, equals to, and of equal values, is God's truth. Pies, God's truth. Pie is God's truth!

Would you say you paid the same amount of dough for them? God damn it, why? Why?! Are we talking about the letter K? Yeah, it's the letter K that exists inside of the Triforce. Anything that is these qualities is beautiful, wise, concise, sane, harmonious, loving, has taste, has power, and is the way of God, says my spirit guide. How does this all work? Okay, let's just say that there are three friends buying and selling and trading for pot. I can imagine this very easily.

Let's just say. You sat next to me in high school calculus Now you give me money for pot And I'll give you the pot man Okay and then my not pot Is worth as much as your pot Right? But now I got the money to buy pot From you man

Right so I'll give you the pot And then you give me the money. Right, and now I have pot to sell to you. That's great, I have money. Do you want my pot? Man, now that I got the money, I can buy this pot from you, bro.

We are so good at capitalism right now. I'm the third guy and I'm totally big i think that was a i think that was a job creator spell yes yes i believe i believe that's what high finance baking looks like why are occultists poor this is money flowing through the free market it's stuck in the world in a whirlpool in the free market okay It's stuck in a whirlpool in the free market. Okay, so I'm going to have to skip a little bit because my explanation is very elaborate.

Here's another example of this, okay? A wants to go to the park with B. B has homework. So A shouts, swears at B. Right? Homework, motherfucker. Shout swears at B. Right? Homework, motherfucker. Homework, fuck, shit.

Ass, fuck. Cunt, piss, buggery. Going back in time. Frankenstein radio gods. Okay, so A shouts swears at B. A is not treating B in a beautiful, powerful, concise, wise, harmonious, tasteful, powerful, loving, and godly way, double period. A's treatment is not fair, balanced, proportionate, valuable, slash worthwhile, and equal to anything of godliness. K is the ancient symbol for God.

Okay. Yeah, who told you that? See what you did there Who told you that K is the ancient symbol for God? The ketamine that I smoked? So, I have a question Yeah I've got this door on my house Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh that's great

That's so great So, draw a sideways K and put it above a doorway in your home oh that is good luck says my words um k stands for goodness in all ways places no no no no what what your ayahuasca fairy said that oh my god god, you're right! Oh my god! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god! Ayahuasca fairy. Ayahuasca fairy.

My ayahuasca fairy! Didn't even pick up on that at all! Someone that protects your ayahouse. No, it's like a three little pigs situation. It's a house made purely of ayahuasca. little pig situation in the house made purely by a wasp. So I'll chomp

and I'll chomp. K stands for goodness and always places people and processes the way of God's home. Here's a bunch of ellipses.

Try to math some examples for yourself. I will post a ton tomorrow. Bye for now. Here's a yin yang and here's another hippie symbol.

Bye-bye. What do you think? Did you learn? Yeah. Great. Good. Well, if you learned, then that means that it is

time for poetry! Yay! Yay! Boots, I think that you're going to get the first poem Good So you are the guru within You're the hermit FRC I don't know what that means

For real children For real children Oh wait, no, I'm sorry For real children I'm sorry, the guru within has a very long poem We don't need to read that. We should skip down to Fawar 96. I'm Fawar

96. I am a leaf gently falling. I have 37 reputation. I have 37 and 2,573 posts. Oh, this is all in quotes. I'm quoting myself.

If you find me hiding, you'll know I'm riding with the moon in the sweet night. If you find me roaming, I'm hiding. I'm riding

with the moon in the sweet night. If you find me roaming My bones are yearning That's me riding dirty Riding dirty Riding dirty Hey, Stog

Hi, Stog Riding dirty If you find me roaming My bones are yearning A place to call home Wherever wherever is where I go. Wherever is where I go. I'm under the trees. I'm walking to my beat.

I'm in tune with nature. I could never be happier. When I'm in the mountains, rain flowing down carved fountains, I'm resting in the flowers where nothing else matters. There's one of mine! Wow. Oh, boy. That's great. I'm glad you posted a whole bunch more poems, because you're really good at this. Yeah. Kumquatsop, Your name is Magikin Q? Magikin?

Magikin? Magikin Q? Magikin Q? Magikin Q? Magikin Q? Where am I? Magikin Q? Magikin Q?

Ah! My name is Magikin Q Crew My name is McGickin Crew My name is Anthony Arcanum And I am Staff I run this website Motherfuckers

Oh god Yeah we run it Yeah we run it We met in Coney Island under the sun. Our time together was short but fun.

This sounds like a Bangles song. I was gonna say it sounds like a magnetic field. Oh, you're right. You're absolutely right. We met in Coney Island under the sun. We skipped nothings, but she still got the hot dog without the bun. First. One of these.

What? What? Now. Magical poetry. Magical poetry. My name is McGickinque. Yeah. First, she sucked me till pre-cum.

Oh, boy. So that's the point where we're done. That's it. This guy has a YouTube channel. Remember, I run this website. Oh, my God. Made a funny face like Remember, I run this website. Oh my god. Made a funny face like she took a shot of rum.

Hmm. Turned around and spread her buns. Said, fuck my ass, I already have two sons. Oh my god. Oh, Coney Island on 4th of July.

Because this is all the one. Busted a night and we were forever done. Just freestyle that off the head for you folks to show y'all how it's done. Hip hop since 86 can run

for days like Hades and Styx. Fuck. I want to bust a night on her. Yikes. You busted my night last night. This is me responding. I'm confident history will record me as the greatest poet who ever lived a thousand

years from now! Next poem title, I ran out of Toliet paper, but her mouth was free! Toliet. Yes, yes, yes. You run this. You run this.

Run this website, I'm staff! Wizard forums! The wizard forums! Avail your gob of my anus, young maiden! Who run this mother? McGickin. Who run this mother?

McGickin crew. Come quats up. What were you... You had found a thread a little bit ago. What was that thread called? Um, oh. Uh... Yeah?

Fatspell? Fatspell? Fatspell? Fatspell? Fatspell? Fatspell. Fatspell. Uh,

guys, I have a love reveal. Fat spell? Fat spell? Fat spell. Uh. Guh. Nuh. Guys, I have a love reveal. Um. Okay. Okay. My name is Tainted. I'm a journeyman.

Okay. Uh. Okay. Guys, I have a love reveal. Right. Finally, but it's not looking good. Does anyone know of any fat spells or something similar?

Please and thank you? Okay. Fat spell? What? To make someone fat? What? What? Superpack says,

Wouldn't it just be easier to use a spell To drive apart the two you don't want together And just use And just use one to drive you desired mate to you I type fast so if my spelling is shit Just know I'm not a dumbass I usually go back and edit Wow I think you should read the rest of your

Signature Oh okay so I am PM friendly Ask questions chat etc This is the life that I chose B should read the rest of your signature. Oh, okay. So, I am PM friendly, ask questions, chat, etc. This is the life that I chose. Bought out the store. Can't go back no more. Versace my clothes while I'm selling them bows. Versace take over. It took out my soul.

Wizard forum. Wizard forum. Well, she isn't in the picture yet. She's just really attractive. You know, cute and petite. Petite. Petite. Petite. Slim. petite slim big eyes perfect hair and i can't compete oh god petite

so hold on so hold on here it comes here comes the. I just want her to be fat. Because... Because... Why? Because I know for a fat he hates fat chicks. No. He hates

fat sheiks. He hates fat cheeks Even the iron cheek Well there's a very emotionally stable And healthy individual Yeah my name's Frater Lucifari Here is a spell for you Walk into Fitness to get a flat stomach

then look feminine by have an ass that moves when you walk along fresh hair and an innocent cleavage with rolling touching tits and then be yourself because if you are a sweet girl that don't stink then there will be no problem because a man just want a girl who are sweet and nice as she is the most feminine. That's my spell. So his solution is be a hot woman and then you'll

be loved? Yeah! Yeah! You got it! I got a reputation of one. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, all that stuff that he just said. My name is Brother Moloch969.

Uh-oh. Actually, I never called anyone such a name. I have stated that their ideas or beliefs are stupid or foolish, but not them personally, and that is because people often change their ideas, beliefs, attitudes, opinions, and actions over time as they grow, learn, acquire new updated information.

Boo, boo, boo, boo. Don't like it. Don't like it at all. Of course, some sexual intellectuals, a.k.a. fucking know-it-alls, well... It's me, the sexual intellectuals, a.k.a. fucking know-it-alls, won't... It's me, the sexual intellectual! Because they're self-righteous

and believe no one can teach them anything. So, before you come preaching to me, make sure you know what your ducks are in a row. Don't put them in a row. Know what your ducks are in a row. Make sure you know that your ducks are... Make sure you know what your ducks are in a row Know what your ducks are Make sure you know what your ducks are In a row

You don't need to know what they are When they're not in a row You don't need to put them in a row They're all in a row You just need to know what they are I know This is a 101 novice site Wizard forums site wizard forums

baby wizard forums and realize I'm not getting a single dime for being here either I could be off helping clients or working on formulating new potions and recipes

yet there are some sincere folks who have pressing needs, and more importantly actually want to learn real sorcery, not Harry Potter fart magic! Oh, there's your fart magic! Yay! Yay!

Here we are. So how'd you find this kind of fun? Fart magic? Harry Potter fart magic. The next section In this document This document once again provided to us by Zeka, Girlkisser420

And Yavuz Sultan Salim Thank you very much to all of you For this document But the next section here is introducing us to A I'm assuming, fellow. I'm assuming fellow by the name of Belfguy. So that is you, Nutshell Gulag.

Your name is Belfguy. And there's just a couple posts that he's made in various topics. We don't need to really dig into how we led here. We just need to read these actual posts themselves. So, Nutshell, will you take the first post by Belfguy? Belfguy! Yeah! I dare invoke you a spurt, my beginning in magic.

Well, big, huge chicks, money, hungry or need girls, I get. Not hot ones or whip money. Not to where I'm very specific in my requesting. Now I'm serened by a few pretty chicks. Excellent. What else? What else did you post? You mentioned Pat.

Is he the orgy guy or the big dick guy? I'm confused. I just read both sides. Thanks, guys. Anything else? I think my neighbors can hear me. I learned his sex magic. You give

semen. Money you give blood. Now eat if you give offering. Take off. Semen. Blood. I'll call the whole thing off. Seaman, blood. I know it sounds crazy, but it could happen. Any ideas? Thanks.

Just to be clear, like, seaman is men of the sea. Right. Yeah, sailors. Bleeding sailors. And one more, please. I think this is a cocktail recipe. Oh, great. Wonderful.

I love cocktails. It gets small stones, grapefruit juice, and lemon. Yeah. Yeah? What? What? What? No, I'm making this.

I'm into it. Yeah. Oh, okay. Write his name, put in bottle, of yellow candle and mix seven drops of the citrus plus a little peel, skins of both citrus. And with left hand drop a stone and say

your load is heavy, it tastes sour it will mess you up too. Um um inches feet parentheses, parentheses, or else Satan, et cetera, will be happy to, uh, your choice, or spurt. Uh, do it every week. Mostly dominate, ritual, do as I say.

Yes, master. Oh, sure. There's a lot of infrared stuff involved in this. Yeah! Sounds delicious. This is what happens when you open up the dungeon that's behind the

Muppet lair. Let me out! I got rocks! This is a bunch of Sweetums failures. Absolutely. Okay, so this section here is called

Making Oh boy. Yay! Okay. Who picked this one? We all did this. Wizard forums. I wanted vagina cooking. Y'all wanted this one? We all did this Wizard forums I wanted vagina cooking

Y'all wanted this one This section is called Making sex, racism, involuntary drugging, and all kinds of physical violence happen Wizard forums The wizard forums Cast internet spell

Oh my god forums! Cast internet spell. Okay. Oh my god. These fucking topics are dire. Okay. Ooh, here we go. Uh. Adam. I want this first one. What?

I want this first one. Alright, fine. Fine, Boots. Fuck. I'm sorry. Fuck. Fuck. I'm sorry. Fuck. Boots, tag him at some point. Just be fair.

Take it, Boots. My name is Purple Haze. Okay. The dangers of summoning a succubus to take my virginity and use it as an astral fuck buddy? Yay! Yay!

None. There is no danger. I don't see a danger. From my understanding, not all succubi are evil. There are some that genuinely want sex with a human. Yes, I think they all do. That's kind of what they do.

Hi, I'm the first guy to get murdered in a horror movie. Some will literally build loving relationships. My energies are high, and I have strong spirits protecting me. So if my summoning ritual did attract a dark spirit, I would be able to dispel her. And my only concern is that I already have a female

spirit that follows me around, and I assume she is my spirit guide. Oh, one of these kind of things. You got friend-zoned by a spirit guide, I see. She will sit at the end of my bed at night often. She has a golden aura, so I have no fear of her. This is the worst creepypasta I've ever heard.

I like the skeleton one better. I doubt she would want to have sex. However, and I assume she is from a much higher dimension than a ghost succubus would be. She has helped me a lot since she is able to transfer information into my episodic memory through this ringing sound that I will hear when I request information. Ice throne. sound that I will hear when I request information. I strongly believe she is from the fifth dimension, the kingdom of

light, and I seriously do not want to lose her help and guidance. Is it normal for people to form relationships with multiple spirits? Of course it is. Of course it's super normal. It's really, really normal, yes. Will my current spirit guide get upset with me?

I decided to love a lower dimensional spirit. Ooh, damn. If your current spirit guide cannot get with you, get him with a lower dimensional spirit, then she is not the spirit guy for you, and that's for real. Oh, Steve Harvey, I love your new material. Always demonstrate higher spirit value.

Why do that when you can make it total? I mean, like, I'm alive. Like, you're dead. Like, you're going to be dead forever. I'm alive for, like, now, and, like, you're dead, like, you're gonna be dead forever, I'm alive for, like, now, and I gotta take care of me. I've read many positive stories about people who have relationships with succubi, and they describe the love as something they could never get from a human. This does interest me, and it would be cool to have a spirit I can fuck in the fourth dimension when I go to sleep at night.

That would be cool. That'd be super cool. That'd be tubular. Would you like to fuck in the fourth dimension? All women have turned me down in this one. Could you settle with a third? That would be like a fifth dimensional being who's into like, you know, hentai. You know what I mean?

Why are you into like fourth dimensional things? Like, that's gross. They only exist in the plane of like death, width, and time. Shut up! They understand me, you disgusting 4D! How can you be a true 3D lover if you touch your 4D penis? Yes.

I guess I just learned that's what third wheel means. Do you have any more to say? No? Well, Adam, do you have anything to say? My name's Balthazar. Is this a mental thing? Or do you really have sex?

Physical? In a nutshell? It's astral. God damn it, people. Sex isn't only in the physical. Yes. And these higher dimensional sex energies cannot be stimulated by a human. It sounds good. I'll wait until I summon a normal demon first and get experience before summoning my succubus.

Yay! I don't know, maybe I'll play the field. I don't know if I'm ready to settle down with the succubus you know I gotta figure out who I am I live inside of a typo negative album oh cool I live inside a system of mercy album your world sounds better

how's the rent pay me the rent? Pay me the rent. So, yeah, okay, we have to do one of these. We won't do both of these, but we have to do one of these. Because I know what we're finishing with. So, okay, okay, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam,

I got a choice. What? Got a choice for you. These are good choices. These are really good choices. Okay. And the first one, I'm going to give you a subtitle just to help you know exactly what we're talking about here.

Topic number one is entitled Defense Against Arab Sl slash Islamic black magic. And then there's a note, uh, from Zeka to help us, uh, note the golden dawn is the Greek Nazi party. Okay. So that's option one. Uh, option number two is called Jews forward slash Hitler. Forward slash?

Forward slash. Um. forward slash Hitler. Forward slash? Forward slash. Boy. Rock and hard place. I think I want to start. I think I'm willing to. Wow, that's getting really hard.

She's a little unsure about this. How about defense against Arab slash Islamic slash magic? That sounds great. Alright, so your name is Johab the First, and you have been banned for some reason, but why don't you start off this thread, please?

How do I get rid of the above magic performed by an arab mosley in in my apartment ever since i asked him not to talk to me for poisoning my food repeatedly And then Sheldon had me At the same time I've been having Unexplainable Pinch On my body Feeling weak Hail brothers

Grateful In anticipation And then Nutshell Your name is Funky Man Funky Bye Funky Man. Funky.

Bye! Funky Man. What? Where are you going? Where are you going? We gotta go. We're gonna hear something. Sorry, gotta go. No, we're gonna hear something funky here. We're gonna hear some Funky Man.

I met many, several Golden Dawn members in the past who had fatal car accidents and claimers. Yay! We've come full circle. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Can you take it from the beginning because I think there's something very important about this sentence. I met

many, several Golden Dawn members in the past who had fatal car accidents and claimed it was Mulsims who did it or a cause of it. There was one case I will never forget where a... They were dead? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A fatal car accident. Yeah. It was the Muslims. They're ghosts. I met a lot of dead people. I met them while I was trying to find my succubus girlfriend.

There was one case I will never forget where an acquaintance from the same bookstore who was a GD member told me about this Muslim he met selling incense on the sidewalk along with books He had a table and all and was by himself

so he spoke to him and of course the Muslim tried to convert him telling him that just reading the Quran protects you from demons and negative energy really whatever this guy told the Muslim the Muslim would smile and praise Allah saying he's responsible for it all

thing that can't decide whether it wants to be an ellipses or a period or a comma finally he told this Muslim he was comparing philosophies and intellectuals who did not like Muslims and the Muslim told

him it is because egotistic humans want to be empowered to do harm that they pack with demons, etc. So this friend of yours was a Golden Dawn member but then was buying bootleg DVDs on the sidewalk and was a Golden Dawn member, but then was buying bootleg DVDs

on the sidewalk and was like, hey, man, what's this whole Muslim thing around? Sounds pretty cool. Struck up small talk with a guy selling incense on the sidewalk. Which you should never do. So he offered to do a test

And ended up in a fatal car accident He told me he broke every bone in one hand Crushed! Crushed! A leg and elbow Then coming out of the hospital And finishing tons of recovery time He visited this Muslim

Who had no idea about the accident And he told him what happened At first the Muslim sort of not believed him because he looked fine. But then he asked him if he was attracted to magic and made contact with anything unseen, which he did, and then told him that it was a jinn,

that these existed before Islam and Adam, and all a Muslim has to do is read a Koran, and they are protected from them. See, there's your problem. See, if you had read the Quran like I had told you, then you wouldn't have these jinn problems. So, he basically told

his acquaintance of mine that his magic backfired big time. He added that Islam is made up of many Muslims, just like Judaism and Christianity. Also made up of Judaism and Christianity. Both made of Muslims, just like Judaism and Christianity. Also made up of Judaism and Christianity. Both made of Muslims, yeah.

The more in number, the stringer the protection bond, which also helps, kind of like vaccinations. Oh, boy. I'm feeling vaccinations. Fine, fine. It's fine.

That's okay. The end. Okay. Before we jump to our very last thread here, I don't want to read this entire section, but there's a post in here by GreenDragonWolfkin about DM... Yeah, what? It's just a name.

It's just GreenDragonWolfkin. How can you decide in the middle of your name? GreenDragonWolfkin. I mean, that's what I am in my soul is what I'm saying. My avatar is Calvin and Hobbes, confusingly. Okay, but anyway, GreenDragonW Wolfkin, and I'm a magician. Okay, now I got this crazy idea! Okay?

What if somebody made you really mad, and you wanted to get back at them in a way so that they would never know what hit them? Okay? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I heard that DMmt can be injected so so so there's a therefore in here why not buy a tranquilizer dart gun and some darts uh i don't know Why wouldn't you do that? Why not? Even extract a shitload of DMT And then go shoot up the neighborhood

Cause it's super illegal Doesn't that sound like a great idea? It's a terrible idea Wizard morons You know, it's just out of fairness. It's just because the neighborhood made me mad. It's just a crazy idea I had. Maybe do it when shit hits the fan.

God damn it! Is that what that means? God damn it! Pardon me. Pardon me. My name is Gold Coins, and I have sex request. Okay. Does this sentence look good?

Yeah, what is it? You shall inflame intense lust into three different women, causing them to become sexually attracted to me. Oh, my God. Yeah. It doesn't sound right to me, but how would you write your sex request to a demon? With my dick.

Do you like me? Yes? No. And then, Boots, your name is Hagen... I'm Hagen Von Horn. Go ahead. Maybe you'll be chased by an 82-year-old

virgin. That psychotic homeless shopping car lady from around the block and one of your own aunts. I just updated it to no blood-related relatives, and if the 82-year-old wants it, he'd give it before she dies.

Why not? She hasn't had sex in 82 years! Unless something will fuck me up because of the sex, like if she was a bum or some shit. I know if I was 82 and a virgin, I'd want any bitch unless... Unless? I also asked for a clean hygiene

woman with a lot of her own details. Doubt a homeless woman would fit the description. And what else do you have to say? It can't go wrong. They have to be five feet at least and fit the description

Five feet tall, five feet away from you Five feet at least Okay If it's in a wet dream, the request goes unfulfilled Since I am asking to incite an emoticon I'm sorry Emotion What else?

Okay There's lots of women out there I'm sorry Emotion What else? Okay Well there's lots of women out there with Stids And who's to say It's not the sexy lady in red that caught your eye And I'm not performing the ritual Nor is it a ritual to begin with Ill fuck her

She doesn't want to kill me And I won't be coerced into killing him. If she wants to try and kill me, then she can try. It'll kill her. No, it's different from women beating. I won't hit her. I won't go after her. And it will be self-defense.

Either way, it'll spread that sexual disease. I did not. Either way, I'll spread that sexual disease like the plague if I do get it. But I thank you for I forgot that some women will generally be attracted to me. So it's no harm if being

conscious of STDs. It'll use super adhesive glue to stick that sucker back on anyway like the emperor time said it might not even work at all anything else you have to add

uh Hagen have you used spells to get sex okay and it sounds like relationship work approach who they really are I'm sorry I don't understand looks like you don't want Okay, and it sounds like relationship work. Approach who they really are. I'm sorry, I don't understand. Looks like you don't want others to get laid.

Jesus Christ, Hagen, you sound like womanizer, huh? Remember your words when you get angry at some chick. Listen, I used to think that same way was its good way of thinking, but there's no girls here. same way was it's good way of thinking but there's no girls here. It's not finished yet the request and needs a little more work. Gold coins. Gold coins.

So F plus what did we learn from any of this? I guess being a wizard involves a lot of DMT. I learned lots of McGick. This was entirely unexpected, everything. Yeah, it really was.

I have no words. The strange encroaching, because we dealt with that on the Satanist, too, of the strange The strange encroaching Because we dealt with that on the Satanist too The strange sort of encroaching of Of like Fascism into Hippie kind of people It's just an odd mix

It seems uncomfortable even as they're Typing it Why do I think both these things? Oh well But it's at that stage where they're just In. They're just like, why do I think both these things? Oh, well. But it's like, it's at that stage where they're just like inching into the waters

of talking about the Nazis. You know what I mean? Sure, sure. Hey guys, what do you think? Did you know Hitler was into the occult? Guys, I'm going to get a hold of Hitler

and get his side of the story. You know what they say, history's written by winners, so yeah. I've noticed that being banned, first of all, in the past 24 hours, 218 members and 2,468 guests have been on here, including band members that still show up, which is odd. I don't know. The website is always thefpl.us

and if you can get to Minneapolis, you should get to Minneapolis, specifically on... Oh, shit, I forgot the date. August 19th? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's it. August 19th. August 19th, F Plus Live. Unless you're listening

to this after that, in which case it's probably something else we're going to be doing at some point. Be cool. Show up for that. If it's like August 19th in a year other than 2017, just do something fun. Treat yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? If it's not August 19th, do something fun. Treat yourself. You deserve it. Have some

sex, McGick. Okay, bye-bye. Bye-bye. Okay bye bye Bye bye I got this game if I want to play it. And I want to play it. It is the Mario Twins. They look the same. They look so goddamn the same person. I forgot about that.

See, and that's what kids on the internet don't get these days, man. Man, Lemon and I had like a fucking world-class YouTube party. Holy shit, yeah. It was a YouTube party that lasted, I don't know, three hours? At least. I haven't had a YouTube party in a long time. Come to FBus Live. Yeah, I got to rip all those nerds off from their money.

It's on recording now. Uh-oh. And I'm going to release it, too. We've got promotional material. Give me all your money, nerds. Distributed Fyndom. It's okay.