The F Plus - 275: Plane Crazy
Episode Date: February 14, 2018Our world was made a lot smaller with the proliferation of airplanes. Costing hundreds of millions of dollars apiece, an airplane can provide safe and efficient travel over the Atlantic in mere h...ours. Planes are great! Who wouldn't want to fuck one? This week, The F Plus comes for the plane sex and stays for the Deviantart poetry.
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Boz, Boz Amor, Richard. It's so thick, your cock feels me. Da, so good.
Jet!
Jet!
I can almost remember the heartache they said.
This is the F Plus Podcast, a high-flying place for terrible things, red with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear.
Kind of curious how you guys feel if I drifted back into doing some Brave Little Toaster at work again.
I'm sure not all of you are watching me for anything but juicy, sloppy, drippy car smut.
I don't know.
Would you at least find it tolerable?
It's at least still anthro machines.
Jimmy Franks.
We're going gonna have to
empty these babies
if you're gonna become
small enough to fit
into that plane's asshole.
Stog!
Delicious, thick plane.
But it is hard to tell
what plane.
Bunny bread.
My gotten himmel, babies.
That was so intense,
Richard says in the smoke.
Da, Richard.
It was very good.
Nadia replied
while wiping come away from her wrist.
Whatever, they were both go-karts, I don't fucking care.
Yes, Fahan!
However, upon their brains becoming positronic and having their consciousness downloaded into the aeromorph body,
their biological ages no longer matter.
God.
And Lemon.
Nadia grinds her own rear up against Richard
so as to get Richard to go as far in as he can with each thrust.
Guess.
You really.
Want my.
Dick.
Ha.
Something.
Fierce.
Babe.
Yeah.
Boners.
Boners.
Boners all around.
Boners. Boners. Boners, check, boners, check
Thanks for that, we'll give you a call if you get the role
Okay, thank you, thank you
Thank you so much
This is the shot of a lifetime for me
I've seen this play done so many times
I really think that I've learned the text
Much later Are you bummed out about something? He's always so moody just at the very beginning of the episode. He really is, yeah. Have you noticed that? Yeah.
Well, there is one thing that would cheer me up.
What's the one thing that would cheer you up?
I can't guess.
Anthropomorphic planes fucking.
Keep a straight face.
Wow, that's cool.
You know, Isfahan, I was about to try to walk us through like a lead-in that would take
like four and a half minutes of like, hey, is anyone going to try?
Yeah, we save valuable time.
Thanks, Isfahan.
You saved us precious seconds.
More plain fucking for us.
But now we're here.
So that's great.
Efficiency is a good thing to have in an F-Bliss episode.
Yeah.
And in plain fucking.
And in plain fucking.
Yeah.
bliss episode yeah um and in and in plain fucking and in plain fucking yeah uh so yeah so uh i'm looking here at a doc uh provided to us by mix um which is uh titled mix called this uh the wrong
kind of mile high club and i'm calling it hey so here's some people who want to have sex with
airplanes um all right so uh yeah so i don't exactly know what's going on but i'm sure it's
gonna be pretty good um so uh just going into this i'm i'm picturing the car fucking episode
but on a larger and more ambitious scale perhaps and and uh because we're uh in uh one of these uh
particular uh fetishes that means we're going to have to start with Reddit.
Yep.
All right.
Today we're going to learn where to fuck the airplane.
We are on...
Oh, airplane.
I thought, like, inclined planes.
Okay.
So we are on r slash aeromorph.
So that's...
And I think, Jimmy Franks, if you'll start us out here, I know that this r slash Aramorph, it has a couple rules.
Could you tell us about those?
Sure.
Yeah.
Rules.
Number one, obviously.
Yeah.
No harassment, brigading, spamming, et cetera.
Okay.
Yeah.
And number two, just out of politeness, mark all not safe for work posts, NSFW.
So rules number three, don't post pony airplane stuff.
Basically, Aromorph plus my little pony.
It's not what Aromorph is.
Excellent.
All right.
That happened so much, they had to make a rule.
Wonderful.
And a rule that was climbing in importance.
Like, it's soon going to be number one.
Guys, guys, it's not what Aramorph is, all right?
It's a weird offshoot of bronies that's not belonging in our little place.
Okay.
My little place.
I got to find a new subreddit.
Lemons out.
And number four, use your flares correctly on your links,
especially for tracing or similar.
I only learned this recently.
Flare is basically a tag that you can add to your link.
Yeah, a tag, like a bit of text or an image
that is associated with your username just in the subreddit.
So I know that there's a couple of flares that we can use here, Jimmy Franks.
What's arrow mean?
Well, arrows, like jets, planes, helicopters, gliders.
Yeah, gotcha.
Okay.
And then auto?
Yeah.
Oh, well, you know, cars, trucks, vans, motorcycles.
Makes sense.
Okay, great.
Hoplo?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, guns, cannons.
All right.
Et cetera.
You know, artillery. All right. Et cetera.
Artillery.
I'm a big man.
I'm going to fuck a big cannon.
Okay.
Loco.
Oh, yeah.
Trains, obviously.
Oh.
So not Cypress Hill lyric.
All right.
And then what about misc?
Oh, others. You know, like tanks, appliances, or toaster.
Or whatever you can dream up.
And no ponies, motherfucker.
A pony is not an appliance.
You can't put pizza in a pony.
You can.
Have you not gone to My Little Morphy?
R slash?
What about non-anthro?
Oh, well, that's for porn involving any non-anthro vehicle.
Right?
So things like a normal plane fucking a girl.
Normal plane?
But that's normal plane dick.
Huh.
A normal plane.
Just a regular old run-of-the-mill plane fucking a girl.
Yeah, you know, like a Cessna or a Piper.
Or like a normal plane that just has a face and genitals rather than a fully anthropomorphized body.
Oh, God.
You said normal already.
Genitals is just obviously implied there.
Planes that just have a face and genitals.
Right.
So that's like Thomas the Tank Engine rolls.
Not like cartoon gloves.
All right.
I think we're ready for our first thread here.
So, Boots, your name is Touch My Furret Peen.
And I have a question I want to ask you, okay?
Jeez.
Wow. Starting off strong. Touch My Furret Peen. Yeah. So I have a question I want to ask you, okay? Jeez. Wow, starting off strong.
Touch My Furret Peen.
Yeah, so I have a question I want to ask you.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, please ask me.
Yeah, so let's have a discussion.
Open bracket, discussion, close bracket.
This place is so odd, yet also so tame.
Why do you like this stuff?
Any ideas on why you like it?
Like psychology?
Genetics?
It's come from a long line of plain likers.
Plain fuckers, yeah.
We found the plain fucking chromosome.
Toot toot is the song of my people.
Yeah, I'm
touch my fur at peen.
I've always loved machines.
The way they work fascinates me in a way that it shouldn't.
I think it has a lot to do with my job as an aircraft mechanic.
Oh, no.
Not the other way around.
This is not exactly a chicken and the egg question, I think.
It's a workplace romance.
He spends his time at work thinking about how the airplane would fuck the girl.
Mr. Bad Wrench.
I liked it.
Okay.
That's fine.
It's fine.
We can all have different opinions.
I confess that I liked it.
But I love the art aspect as well, especially with Dire Mechs.
I hope we get to find out what that means.
I hope we don't.
I really hope we do.
It takes a bit of creativity to really make an F-14 Tomcat sexy from outside of freedom boner engineer standpoint.
Boner slash engineer.
I'm a boner slash engineer.
You took a level of engineer.
Yeah, you dual class.
Oh man, did you pop an engineer there?
Yeah, dual class, yeah.
Is he just used to the awkward pauses he gets
when he hands out his business card?
Yeah.
Hope that makes sense.
Yeah, sure does.
Bunny Bread, your name is Other Profile.
Hey.
How y'all doing?
Hi.
Hi.
My name's something else.
Okay.
So, for the niche porn subs like this one,
it's been my observation, they're all pretty tame, right?
I have documentation that proves otherwise.
We'll stop.
Okay.
Anyways, unless the sub is explicitly hardcore,
likely self-censorship is going on, right?
Come on, fellas, be free.
If you look on Fur Affinity, not that I have,
you can find hardcore airborne porn.
Yes, you can.
Basically, Rule 34 is in effect.
Anything that can be centralized
will be. Why I like
this stuff? It's like furry
porn, right?
Hell, guys!
I may not be an engineer of boners,
but I am an appreciator. It taps
into the base desire that all humans have.
To fuck cartoons.
Same group of artists.
Same style of art.
Same absolute shame
that we should have had a long time ago.
Underline calls for liking it.
So.
Story time.
Not my story.
Someone who is not me.
Some other guy.
His name is other other profile.
There is this guy, right?
You can look him up.
His name is, as I said, he's on an antidepressant.
This antidepressant has a rare side effect.
It causes random boners and orgasms.
Yeah, that's called bizarro antidepressant.
This antidepressant is called whiskey.
Oh, okay.
He gets one in math class and comes.
This is a short story.
That old chestnut.
His sexuality becomes permanently linked to math.
Long division.
Yeah, long and thick division.
He gets boners in math class all the time as a result.
This suggests that the wiring of our sexualities are at times malleable.
When these malleable times are is obviously not predictable.
Otherwise, the religious zealots would make the world straight.
Wow, this guy is actually writing about F plus boner theory.
That's actually pretty rough.
We've said this so many times, but when I hear him say it, it sounds like bullshit.
It does kind of sound stupid out of his mouth, doesn't it?
Tom Clancy's boner theory.
Makes me a little worried.
Yeah.
Tom Clancy's boner theory.
That's right.
Okay.
I'd say that we are genetically programmed so that the choices are made and not at any conscious level.
I suspect it's largely random.
Well, then what was the antidepressant
thing about? I just wanted to
tell a story about how pills may become.
As humans, we like to make
things aesthetically pleasing, and we are pretty
hardwired to recognize
people as aesthetically pleasing.
Ask your doctor if jizzing
in your pants is right for you.
Well, it is.
I asked, and I am, and yes.
I asked, my dick answered.
Yep, Dr. Dick.
We like the curves of the body.
We try to put those curves into car designs.
Take it to the logical extreme and reduce it.
What you are left with is rule 34.
Jizz, I'm out! I mean, except for that weird little
trip to bizarro antidepressant
land, it did kind of make some sense.
Hi, I also got those same
antidepressants.
What's your name, Stog? Hi, my name is
Overly Ken Name.
I have a few big reasons.
Uh-huh.
Firstly, the plane features are wonderful.
Turbines, wings, propellers, noses, whatever.
Oh, the whatever is so hot.
Yeah, yeah.
It's pretty hot.
Secondly, the human features of the plane.
Breasts, curves, thighs, you know.
Ailerons.
You know, know The human features
Wheels
Thirdly the way they work together
The way how the back is so perfectly complimented
By a plane tail
Or how the skin looks so nice
When it's metallic
And looks welded or otherwise assembled
How kitties work with landing gear
That is why they change the Dallas cheerleaders' uniforms.
Fourth, the
slight novelty that it's a plane,
an anthroplane.
All four of those combine
and make Aromorph my
most favorite being
to be attracted to by a very, very
long shot.
Wow.
Wow.
Let's do some.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
See you later.
Well, let's see.
Okay.
Bye.
Hey, so we're going to go to another thread. And my name is a psych cat.
And hey, Reddit, I have a few questions.
Hey, guys. So I have a few questions. Hey, guys.
So I have a few questions.
I was browsing around Google in a joking way,
and somehow I came across some Aromorph content.
At first, I sort of laughed,
but the more I thought about it,
the deeper I looked,
I became more and more
interested in the subject.
Now, confession, I mean, that's kind of what all of us
have been doing. We just haven't actually found that thing.
After like seven years,
it's like, no, that's not sexy either. No,
no, no.
Oh, hold the phone here.
Airplanes.
Though I am left with a few questions.
Number one, what exactly is an aeromorph it's
literally on the side of the screen yeah come on it's on every page in the sub right rtf i come
way too fast to read i just black out afterwards um uh is it a style of porn fetish or a fandom
altogether is that another one you couldn't pick up on? Yeah.
The topic seems heavily related to furries.
Is there any significance to that?
Now he's just fucking with us.
Now he's just fucking with us. Get him!
I'm from the FBI.
There isn't much of a community that I could find
to answer these questions to,
to ask these questions to. So I was hoping
that I could get some answers here, smiley face
with big eyes. Thanks. On the community
you said you couldn't find. Yeah, yeah.
To ask questions to. So, I guess I'll
find... If only any other words had ever been typed.
I guess I'll ask this community. Do subreddits not count as communities?
Yeah, well, he looked in the yellow
pages, and there's
nothing there.
And the operator was very rude.
There are planes that you fuck, stupid.
Do you have any other questions?
Stalk would make a great operator.
Yeah.
Anyway.
He has the same answer regardless of the question, though.
Yeah, could you connect me?
Yeah, planes!
You fuck them!
That's it!
You put your dick in them.
Well, my name is Planeface.
Oh, good.
And I think I can help you out here.
An aromorph is any bipedal or slash quadrupedal creature designed with aircraft-related characteristics, i.e. wings, a tail, nose, engines.
The term doesn't just apply to anthroplanes.
A lot of people tag their
quote-unquote feral planes
with the term. Okay. So it's
kind of an open term, but
it generally refers to humanoid
planes. Humanoid
humanoid quadrupedal
planes. Yep. Yep.
Here's where I
turn on the light jazz and fire up the old documentary.
Aramorphs originated in the living machine
fandom from an artist on
DeviantArt sometime in the early 2010.
I really think it
went back further than that.
As long as there have been
planes, there have probably been guys who wanted to
fuck set. Oh yeah, the JetBlue plane.
Yeah, that was it.
If there's a plane, you can fuck it.
Yeah.
As long as there has been matter, somebody's wanted to fuck that thing.
Sometime in early 2010, where they were popularized by another artist called WSA, WSA 007, I think.
Yeah, we're familiar.
I haven't taken much notice of WSA's art, but as far as I can see, he's
a boob artist, so as you can guess,
as a result of that, Aramorphs kind of
took off from there.
Aramorphs aren't really that popular
with the Living Machine fandom where they
originated.
I think I'm putting the inflection in the
wrong place. The Living Machine
fandom where they originated. Do we think that's like
H.R. Giger, or do we think where they originated. Do we think that's like H.R. Giger or do we think
like what do we think
that means, Living Machine fandom? People who want to
fuck WALL-E. Machines that are alive.
Oh, okay.
I guess.
A lot of people in the community work
or have worked with aircraft and find the concept
of millennium dome
sized breasts on a creature designed to
fly absurd
aerodynamics lol.
He says that.
What the hell is this?
Me personally,
as someone who works with aircraft,
and as an artist myself who draws
quote, living machines,
and has dabbled in the concept of aeromorphs,
I find them quite fun to
draw, albeit I try to avoid the
whole enormous titty scene.
I go to the
enormous titty club and then I just, no,
it wasn't for me. This just isn't my enormous
titty scene. What's the pathway?
Man,
this enormous titty scene
is totally changed.
Transformers, what if you could fuck them?
How many boardrooms have you been thrown out of, Starbuck?
All but this week.
I'm not sure about a fetish.
I am.
But they have become the focus of typical furry fetishes that are commonly applied to them, i.e. hypercocks, boobs, inflation, etc., which isn't my scene, but meh.
I enjoy poking fun at the ridiculousness of it all.
And also boners.
Are you sure you're into this?
Regretfully, though, this gives aeromorphs a bad name and has resulted in several prominent machine artists leaving the living machine scene.
Machine scene.
An artist and good friend of mine has irately told me on several occasions that aeromorphs are, quote,
nothing more that girls with plane parts stuck on, and that, quote, people don't care it's a plane.
All they care about is the fact it has huge tits and a 20-foot dick slapped on it.
Lol.
They don't care about his feelings.
It's almost like that's exactly why,
but nonetheless,
I don't mean to be off putting,
but enjoy them.
They are a fun concept to play with.
And then a stock,
you were overly canned name before,
right?
Yeah.
All right.
Well reprise that role.
Why don't you please?
Hi.
Hi.
Nice to see someone new around here.
Even though you already have a few answers, I thought I'd answer for myself.
Aeromorphs are anthropomorphized planes, airplanes, and other similar vehicles
basically turning a plane or jet into a partial human or vice versa,
giving planes human traits and parts or the other way around.
Some people consider normal planes with the
face as aeromorphs, but they can go shove
it. Yeah!
Those are definitely
not aeromorphs to me.
Not my aeromorphs.
It ain't
real to me, dammit!
It's kind of both. For me, it even
transcends the idea of fandom. Becomes
much, much more love, you could say.
There's a few others around here that are like that.
Not as if it is becoming my entire personality.
I have much more of a personality than that, don't worry.
But are more like loving aeromorphs much more than conventional attractions.
It's connected in the sense that furries and us both like anthropomorphize things.
It's just like the furries apply that to animals instead of planes.
Personally, I quite heavily dislike furries, even though I used to be one.
LOL.
You quit?
So wait, wait, wait.
His boner drift actually took him all the way.
Like he used to want to fuck, I don't know, Denver the Last Dinosaur or some shit.
He's my friend a whole lot more.
Dusty from Planes.
Yeah, that's just...
I didn't know this actually happened.
I thought we just theorized about it.
It's like they start out wanting to screw Jessica Rabbit
and then they end up in some other territory.
I actually do not want to fuck Baloo from Tailspin.
I want to fuck the airplane instead. No, no, but you used not want to fuck Baloo from Tailspin. I want to fuck the airplane instead.
No, no, but you used to want
to fuck Baloo. Yeah, he's moved
on. Yeah.
The next thread that we
have here is called
Aerophysical Characteristics. We're not going to read this thread,
but Isfahan, the very last post
in this thread, I feel is worth capturing.
So will you read the words of
Imperiator Aurelius?
Okay.
Perfect, if a bit
generic. A bit of variation
is nice. As another example,
take a U2S.
I envision her as a very
tall, slender,
elegant girl.
Slightly on the thin side, but with
just enough curves, particularly at the hips very
classy and graceful yeah um uh document once again provided to us by a mix and thank you very much
mix uh thank you next section next section here in the document is called reddit does art um and Does art? And THEFPL.US, we've got that document to look at.
So if you're looking for a lot of pictures, you could either look at this document or jump into our Discord where we've been doing nothing but posting pictures of this shit back and forth.
Ah, Comrade Airplane.
Yeah.
Jimmy Franks has already made a daring confession.
Yeah, I call dibs on that hot air balloon.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe you can light my fire.
Those bedroom eyes.
So we're going to be moving away from Reddit, which is great, and into Fur Affinity.
Oh, good.
Well, thank God we're out of that frying pan.
Oh, shit. Look at all this fire uh all right so uh you would need a actual account on for affinity to see some of these
uh porno pictures i'm so sorry oh bummer um uh but anyway i'm gonna start this thing out so it's
called uh two birds of a feather and uh and, uh, I'm Ren the Dragon.
I had this one in the works for a while now.
Felt the need to draw up Arrow Booty.
Now, here we are!
Arrow Booty, Arrow Booty, flying everywhere.
Got a motorboat, that's 747.
got a motorboat that 747 chandra and her sister olivia showing off what their money showing off what their money makers after a routine flight that's what that says and yes that reads caution hot surface. Each cheek, after all, is right beneath the
business ends of those
beastly J-58
engines.
Look just how hot they can
get. Advise
caution when
reaching to grope.
Don't fuck the plane hot!
Yeah.
And then, Boots, you got a quick question for me, don't fuck the plane hot and then Boots you got a quick question for me don't you
um
Shadow Anubis
I'm Shadow Anubis
I'm Shadow Anubis
man
the Blackbirds are my most favorite
stealth fighter jets
helps me a ton in Black Ops
was that
a question?
Yeah.
Well, they're actually not stealth capable.
They're only stealthy in that they fly so high that they can't be seen with
the naked eye slam poetry or really heard at least at night.
Otherwise, radar and most certainly heat seeking missiles will definitely
see them.
Concealment from any of that doesn't really matter if you can pretty much outrun what they throw at you.
Oh.
Huh.
I should look up my stealth planes again.
Usually my top favorite is always the Lockheed F-117 Nighthawk.
That's a beautiful one for me in my book.
Here is some porn.
Oh, cool.
I love porn.
Thank you for the porn.
To paraphrase Lemon, and then fight.
Yeah, and then fight.
All right.
It's time to read about avian erections.
Oh, my God.
It seems like the right time and place.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, yeah.
So, again, all of this stuff is going to be mostly the sort of backstory and comments about the porn.
So this is what's happening in this particular drawing.
So Isfani, you're going to be the male plane.
Okay.
And Stog, you're going to be the female plane.
Yeah, I'd love to be the female plane.
Yep.
Hey, honey.
Oh, gasp.
So, you wanna have some crazy tarmac sex?
Hmm?
We're right here, but everyone is here looking.
Hmm, hmm. I know, right?
Smiles and giggles.
I'm really proud of this photoshop job I went the extra
mile to make this look good
I guess the base photo was just
too perfect not to
damn that airplane ass
is hot as hell
that's what I say every time I get on a flight
damn that airplane ass is hot as hell
a heart drawn with a
with Oski.
I knew it just had to have a giant floppy airplane dick squashed underneath it.
I know not everyone.
I know.
I know not everyone likes them.
You don't know that.
I know not everyone likes the whale penis design for airplanes,
but I think it fits their book really well.
I like the narwhal dick design. I like the duck dick design for airplanes.
Nobody likes the cat penis.
Yo, yo, this is Master Sharkplane.
Yo, yo.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Yes, XD, XD.
Jesus Christ, yes!
XD, XD!
Boners are sometimes common sights on tarmacs all over the world, times three.
Just the nature of being a creature as big as a plane with no clothing and plenty of males slash females together, XD.
Airports are pretty tolerant when it comes to boners
could somebody inform
TSA of that please
I had to go through security
it didn't set off any beeps
but sex on the
tarmac yeah that might result
in a punishment of some kind.
I've had that drink before.
It sucks.
Glad you approve.
Yeah, I can imagine.
It's just the animal in them.
They don't have the same socially imposed shame for their own genitalia.
So like a dog, they'll just get boners whenever they feel like it and not hesitate
to just let it all hang out there i think a plane would be like i mean a plane would always be
raised in a social society like anyway um besides yeah the you're this big-ass plane. What do you care if a bunch of little bugs down there are yelling at you?
I think what annoys airports about it isn't so much the sex,
unless they choose to fuck right there on the runway holding everyone up.
I've never seen a plane, but I think that most planes are smarter than that.
Most. Most.
Okay. No.
I think why
they try to avoid it is because
they've gotta inevitably
call out the fire brigade afterwards
to power wash the gallons
of dribbled sprayed cum
off the tarmac.
Wah!
Oh, good. We're into
plain sex world building now! Oh, good. We're into, like,
plain-sex world-building now.
Oh, and of course,
fucking moms complain
because their dumbass kids
looked out the airport windows and asked
what the planes were doing.
Fucking kids ruin everything.
Wah!
If this is such a problem, you think they would
at least draw the curtains or something.
This keeps coming up.
Oh, they're going to the planes fucking again.
Why do they keep putting windows in airports?
Yeah.
There's more comments here.
And Bunny Bread, your name is A underscore car.
I wanted to say that.
All right.
Hello.
My name is A car, and I'm probably in the wrong place.
Yeah.
Can someone point me towards car fucking, please?
Anyways.
No
fare. Planes
are my weakness.
Mostly jumbo jets.
Because they're
jumbo?
You see. As a matter of
fact, yes! You see, he's not
into cars. He is a car.
He's into planes.
He's the Sir Mix-a-Lot of plane finishes.
Lol, I can relate.
Look how huge that
butthole is, too!
So big, Squirty, come.
It's like you can crawl around in it.
I'm sure you literally could. Well, not
you, car. You're a little too big.
Don't you forget it.
Though, if you let me
milk you a bit, I might be
able to get you down to size,
cat face. Oh my god.
Oh god, does this...
Yeah, this turns into like sex.
Yeah, they're having erotic roleplay in the fucking comments
section. Everybody else leave.
Sign me up.
This just becomes sex.
Stage direction puts a hand on your butt.
All right, car.
Well, come on.
Let's go back here into the garage, and then you can flop that big old dick into my arm.
Oh, my God.
Eject. E God. He checked.
He checked.
Looks around.
What's I'm in?
Zip.
So what do I do now?
Okay.
Six underscore six.
Ellipsis.
Nine dot nine.
Huff.
Car.
Oh, I told you.
Flap that big old dick into my arm so I can get it to work.
And then it keeps going for a long time.
Yeah.
It's
straight up like
erotic roleplay phone sex thing.
Yeah, but I want to just get to the post-coital.
I want to get to the climax
in the post-coital, okay?
So skipping down a bit, because there's...
I mean, they're fucking.
Wait, wait.
Yeah? We're a love, they're they're fucking. OK, so wait, wait. Can we be? Yeah.
We're a love making.
I'm not a fucking.
You're going to start at slap, right?
I wasn't.
I wasn't.
But all right.
Fine.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Slap.
Ball smacked.
OK, then car six six.
Yeah.
I start aggressively jerking your huge mechanical dick,
enjoying feeling your body twitch and jerk
and listening to you let out masculine moans and groans.
Fuck yeah.
Keep on fucking jerking, doing that.
I start to thwack.
Oh, my God. Big old mechanical dick. You fucking drugging doing that. Like a rock. I start to thrust down.
Oh, my God.
Big old mechanical dig.
Like a rock.
I start to thrust down into your hands, repeatedly smacking you with my large balls.
Blorg.
Blorg.
Blorg.
That's what a ball will say. The balls wash loudly as they smack and bounce off my shoulder and side.
Ooh!
Urr!
That's it, Tygar.
Get into Rathoom with my strokes.
Imagine there's a big fat girl ass underneath you right now.
I jerk more and more.
There we go.
There we go.
There we go.
Yeah! Yeah! I jerk more and more. There we go. There we go. There we go. Yeah.
Yeah.
You're a huge cock sprays gallons glob of cum like a fire hose.
Your large balls shudder and contract.
They shut her.
Yeah, they shut her.
They close down for the night.
I thrust harder and come to a rest.
My shrinking sack smushed
all against your face as I stay still
unloading all over your
lower body. Fin.
So I think what we should do at this point
is edit that out. Smoke.
I think what we should do is we should
figure out whether or not we're going to establish
as a precedent that
that a tilde is, I believe
Bunny Bird said
jizzy jizz. Squirty cum.
Squirty cum.
I think what we need to do is we need to
you know those scenes in
Hitchcock movies where they
the couple sort of kiss and then it
pans away.
Anyway.
That's been the only thing I've read tonight, I think.
I hope nobody, like,
I need this.
picked, like,
parked somewhere to pick somebody up
and then brought them back to the car
and they turned the car back on
and then this was playing.
Like, they forgot to turn it off.
I was at work and I was just about to head out and I have a new phone, which sucks.
I'm returning it.
But I thumbed it and it just started playing the F plus.
Yay!
But like the phone's really unresponsive.
So it took a long time to get to stop.
And I was like putting it in my pocket.
And sometimes our cold opens are very, very saucy.
All right.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
There is.
Okay.
Oh, boy.
All right. This will be fine.
This will be fine.
Jimmy Franks.
Yes.
I'm going to give you two choices here.
Thank God.
And I want you to choose between these two choices.
The one is called The Next Most Terrible Thing That I Have Ever Written.
I don't think we could go wrong with The Next Most Terrible Thing That I Have Ever Written. I don't think we could go wrong with The Next Most Terrible Thing I Have Ever Written.
I don't think we could.
All right, here we go.
So this is called The Next Most Terrible Thing I've Ever Written.
I actually do have a Fur Affinity count, I think,
so I'm going to try to log into this and just see what the sort of porn this looks like.
I'll bet the username is Fplussin.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Yeah, so if you'll take us
through it, please. It's not Shaggy2Stote?
No, those are the
passwords. It's gotta be a pun on furries.
Oh.
She was prepared to do anything for her country
except for this.
Coming this summer.
Her vision hazy, she tried
to make out where she was and what she was going through,
having forgotten through the confusion she experienced as a result of her situation.
Blinking twice, she refocused her eyes and saw the spectator's seats on the far end of the testing chamber,
filled with the researchers that were monitoring her progress.
Okay, Cloudjumper. boomed the loudspeaker.
We're about to move up to phase three.
Are you ready?
She tried to say something, but only a pitiful whine came out of her mouth.
She opted to nod her head instead,
an impressive feat given that she was a sentient humanoid aircraft.
I'll say.
A rather large specimen
among her kind. Cloudjumper's
design is partially based off
an old military aircraft,
the Boeing V-22 Osprey.
Unlike most
other aeromorphs, as they were commonly
known, she was
created from the ground up rather than
conceived through a union between an
augmented human and a sentient drone.
Though on the outside there was little difference.
Her limbs were slender yet powerful, but the exposed joint aesthetic gave them a more mechanized look.
On her back were two large wings that ended in till rotors with folding blades.
Oh, there we go.
She crashed during testing constantly.
Her face is as stereotypically anime schoolgirl as you can get for an aeromorph.
Boing!
Ah, finally, something you can jerk off to.
There we go.
Implying someone on the design team was a Japanophile.
Or the author.
Yeah, maybe.
Someone on the design team was a Japanophile.
Or the author.
Yeah, maybe.
The sudden sensation of something gently moving inside her lower body quickly brought her attention to what was directly below her.
A massive phallic probe was lodged deep into her vagina.
Whoa, all right.
We're already here.
Okay.
So she didn't notice that before, did she?
Okay. Stretching her't notice that before, did she? No. Okay.
Stretching her entrance almost to its limits.
Above it was her own probe, fully extended from its hatch,
connected in an area above her vaginal opening.
The probe itself was encased in a watertight suction cup,
vacuuming up whatever nanite-filled ejaculate escaped the tip of her phallus.
What?
Okay, this is
quite a fetish mush happening
here. Yeah, this is...
She tried to take a closer look,
but the restraints that were suspending her from the
ceiling were preventing her from moving freely
and keeping her arms and legs
spread apart. So there's S&M
on top of everything.
Oh, her large, firm breasts were reduced to giant mounds of exposed synthetic tissue with tubes connected from the ceiling to where her nipples should be.
This just works out.
Oh, good.
Oh, good.
Now it's Hellraiser.
It, or rather she, was a relatively newer model compared to Cloudjumper,
who had served in the Air Force for 10 years, back when sentient hybrid aircraft were still in the experimental stages.
Sure.
And had been an interactive museum exhibit for 25 years until her recall into service.
The V-22 Osprey's Marine Corps aircraft.
Yay!
Oh, boner gone!
I'm so glad you're here. Oh, Boner gone. I'm so glad you're here.
God damn it, Isfahan.
Yeah.
You know, you just killed my boner, Isfahan.
Thanks.
Yes.
I'm sure there'll be plenty to bring it back here.
Like most other sentient aircraft,
Shaw's intelligence core was designed to function like that of a human's,
giving her the ability to adapt around unspecified
parameters.
A human would mind most of this stuff.
Yeah.
But not the anime
guy on the design team.
Well, that's not a human.
Her face was designed with friendliness
in mind, but it also has the qualities
of a cartoon whale, implying
someone on the design team
was a furry.
Where did they find this design team?
Are you tagging in, Boots?
I'm tagging in.
I'm also skipping a bunch.
Thank you.
The process continued for a while, with Shaw
pumping into Cloudjumper endlessly
as a mechanized phallus kept pumping into Shaw,
both aircraft's faces
expressing a combination of
pain, embarrassment, and pleasure.
Embarrassment. Let's drill in on that one.
Yeah, embarrassment.
You know what that word
means, right? Writer of this thing?
It's not like they can do it in private.
Cloudjumper's own phallus continued to
leak profusely into the machine which fed the juices
directly into shah's opening soon shah started to thrust faster out of her own volition
cried shah i can't help it i'm gonna pour my fluids into you again. Cloud jumper knew what she meant and started to clench her vagina harder.
It's okay.
Sure.
Sorry.
It's okay.
Sure.
Come inside me.
Oh,
uh,
I'll come too.
Cloud jumper knew what she meant.
Like that's a real code.
That's the
with one final thrust
Shaw drove at the entire length of her probe
inside cloud jumper with all his strength
causing cloud jumper's eyes to go wide
with shock as her synthetic womb
stretched unnaturally to accommodate
Shaw's entire length
what followed was a magnificent scream
in HD stereo that echoed the walls of
the testing chamber,
though it was quickly nullified by the soundproofing layers outside of the
chamber.
As both drones experienced simultaneous and devastating orgasm,
ejaculating synthetic fluids uncontrollably.
She's implying someone on the design team was an audiophile.
Reader, they did.
Oh, I'm still going?
Yeah, why the hell?
It's great.
Why not?
Bring it on home.
You take that shit in.
I don't want my voice to be associated with this.
You deal with that decision.
Actually, you know what?
You know what?
Bunny bread.
Take it from.
All right.
Thank you, Matt.
Won't you?
All right.
Thank you, Matt.
He emerged from the main doors.
How are we now?
Everything's fine.
Matt replied.
I think Chris over there needs some wake me ups again
Alright go take care of him
The other researcher said
Matt promptly got up
And went over to Chris' prone body
While his pocket blurted out
What?
His pocket blurted out
Hey there everyone this is delicious
Come on and smoke weed every day!
420!
And welcome to the dreams!
Don't get it! I did it!
Within ten minutes or so, Cloudjumper and Shaw finally emptied everything they had in their fluid tanks into each other.
Still? Still!
You're still coming!
And were now dry-ejaculating in response to the override command.
Dry-ejaculating? It was just smoke coming out And were now dry ejaculating in response to the override command. Dry ejaculating.
It was just smoke coming out of there at that point.
One researcher typed something on his laptop.
Ew.
Something.
And soon Cloudjumper could feel her orgasm coming down.
And to the last of her pleasure, finally left her body.
Shaw, too, was relieved from her orgasm.
And was now breathing heavily
of a stigial, vestigial,
instinctive response
kept to discourage the uncanny valley.
Really? What?
Just now, the uncanny valley enters the picture.
Yeah, when I think of the uncanny valley,
I think of planes that fuck.
Yeah, because they look so much like
real planes that fuck. Yeah, yeah, look so much like real planes that fuck. Yeah, it's just creepy.
It's sort of troubling.
Cloud, Shaw
said softly.
I'll be
your mirror.
Interrupted Cloud Jipper.
It's okay, I know.
And I'll be with you
for as long as it takes.
Oh, now we know what Pee Wee Herman's sex voice sounds like.
Pee Wee Herman imitating Sylvester Stallone.
You can imagine a big Rube Goldberg device jerking me off right at the beginning with Mr. T's cereal falling all over my dick.
Thank you for the splod, not me.
Cloud Jumper knew it was far from over.
There would be more experiments with no end in sight,
and her eventual offspring would most likely suffer the same fate.
But the thought that kept her going was that her dedication would lead to a better future
for both the humans and her kind.
Wow.
But especially the weirdos on the design team.
I had no idea this story would end up as romantic as it was.
It was kind of surprising.
Well, you throw Pee Wee Herman into shit, it gets romantic.
Just to point out, there's an epilogue here.
I'm just going to read the last sentence to it.
Yep.
Fuck this shit, he thought, before clicking the submit button.
I would imagine most of this guy's thoughts are fuck this
oh man okay um uh man okay so uh document uh mix gave us here uh is 33 pages uh which is
definitely considerable um there is a section called You Thought We Were Done With Cars
which we're actually just going to skip over
but very fun.
So we were done with cars.
Yeah, we were done with cars.
Yeah, we thought correctly.
But we reprise the role
of one of the illustrators
in the car fucking episode.
But anyway,
Jimmy Franks. Yeah. Uh,
your name's half dude. And, uh, uh, you've got some sort of, uh, I don't know. You have
sort of, uh, like psychological quandary, you know, like one of those, one of those
things you need really need to contemplate out. Uh, yeah.
Hey, guys.
What?
What is it?
We're here for you, man. We're here for you.
I don't know how to feel about pimping cars out.
I throw a brick through CarMax's
window every time I drive by.
As a very sort of brief sidebar, HalfDude has some really amazing art.
He is a very prolific car and plane.
Oh, yeah.
No, we covered him in the car in the car fucking episode oh yeah yeah yeah
that's right that's right yeah um uh to clarify i know how i feel i i don't like it oh but uh
i'm open to having my mind changed wait so so to clarify you use the word clarify. Right. Because I don't know how to feel about pimping cars out.
And then he said, to clarify, I know how I feel.
Yeah.
Okay.
I just made it more obtuse, actually.
Right.
Gotcha.
But I'm open to having my mind changed.
I guess I'm expecting to because I think I'm probably the only person who feels this way.
So I finally got Grand Theft Auto V.
Great game, actually.
Though not a good fit for me, as you'd expect.
What with the fact that you could barely go ten minutes in that game
without maiming or carnapping some random car.
Although they do magically heal themselves in the game, so it makes it not bad.
But anyway, I got to the point in the game where you start playing as Michael DeSanta.
And anyone who plays the game, too, probably knows about the first mission where you chase after your yacht.
It's being stolen in his wife's BMW knockoff.
Well, it breaks down mid-chase.
Franklin suggests they take it to a repair slash chop shop.
Oh, boy.
This is where the game introduces the car modification mechanic of the game.
Well, it brought some feelings in me.
Okay.
Okay.
Were those feelings shame, by chance?
You had a line, and GTA V crossed it by having a garage.
Yeah.
Anyway, something that I should probably be enjoying was actually kind of getting me kind of pissed, actually.
I never quite agreed with the idea of modifying cars.
Oh, my God.
It's like the cars get a boob job or something.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
So the Lord made this car and you shall not.
Yeah.
Okay.
Evolution does not exist.
God made cars in his image.
I'll give my car some bigger tits.
It just seems
so incredibly insensitive and selfish to take
a car's body and basically give
it plastic surgery against its will
until it basically looks sexy to you.
Against its will? Yeah, against its will.
Do most cars
decide to release the car itself?
Funny, but be fair, the car doesn't give consent.
It doesn't.
Okay, it's true.
To me, that's like some guy taking his wife to a plastic surgeon, strapping her down,
and doing all these changes to her body against her will.
Blow up those titties, puff those lips up, sculpt that nose, inflate that ass, basically
customizing her to look how you want her to look.
Speaking of which, I wrote
a 900,000 word essay
on that.
Does anyone see where
I'm coming from? If the car could
tell me, oh, oh, get me this, please.
That would be different.
Yeah, if they could, yeah. What if your car
could talk to you in GTA 5?
Yeah. It's just taking
Knight Rider as a a slut if your car could talk a gta
fuck fuck
it's just taking this helpless thing that has no say in the matter of doing things to it that
bothers me now my friend you probably will know who you are,
was talking to me about modifications.
He justifies it with the idea that we can't buy our girls fancy dresses and jewelry,
so what we do is buy modifications for them. Oh, my God.
To a certain extent, I agree with it.
You can buy the little hula thing that you put on your dash.
That's like an accessory, right?
That's cultural appropriation, Sean.
But then the car asks you, who is she?
Who is this slut you put on my dashboard?
Look, to a certain extent, I agree with it.
Engine modifications are fine if there's something better than what they were born with.
Helping their engine work better, making them healthier.
It's more the body kits and shit that gets to me.
Anyway, how do you guys see it?
Can you maybe put a different spin or perspective on it to help me see it in a different light?
I mean, I could surely use something to have in common with normal car people.
At this point, I got nothing.
That's why there's no point in me trying to join car clubs.
Also, I don't have a car.
Yeah.
Also, I try to fuck everything that they bring to the garage.
I don't think the expression is pimping cars, I try to fuck everything that they bring to the garage.
Also, I don't think the expression is pimping cars out.
I think it's pimping cars.
Yeah.
I was very confused by the title of this.
Yeah, yeah.
Right, yeah.
There is a difference between pimping something and pimping something out.
Pimping one's ride. So. Oh, boy. Yeah. What does the community think that's good that's good that's
good well uh stog stog what is leet ghost driver thing whoa leet ghost driver huh well yep you know
red you know this kind of puts me in a difficult situation because i am usually the one doing those
modifications of the cars in question, but plastic surgery
is quite different in the cars
world. Surprising enough, I have
had more guys coming in looking for
modifications than females.
You're right.
That's very surprising.
That's very surprising. More dudes coming in to do a chop shop?
Yeah, so it's like the
guys are the ones that are interested
in doing things to their cars more than women. Huh? Yeah. Huh. Okay. Yeah, you it's like the guys are the ones that are interested in doing things to their cars more than women, huh?
Yeah.
Huh, okay.
Yeah, you know, the small world.
But that is beside the point, and this is where I take a sip of water.
Then I put my water glass down, and then through your situation that you mentioned about cars getting unwanted modifications.
Well, from what I hear, it happens in the humans, too.
Guys wanting their girlfriends to have bigger breasts, taking a breath.
Girls wanting guys with bigger dicks, but in the car world, pretty much everything is about modular,
almost a world gender-changing modifications, as well as so trivial they can be hooked up to a switch, taking a breath.
Wait, are girls taking their guys in to get bigger dicks all the time?
All the time.
And against their will, too.
It's like, oh, tell him that he needs a prostate exam, but he has to be unconscious for it.
My girlfriend took me in to have bigger lungs.
Granted, most cars and owners don't want to have the ability to switch back and forth,
but it is possible under his breath.
And so easing, I have done it to switch back and forth, but it is possible, under his breath, and so easy I have done it to myself.
Back.
I'm not following at all.
What was that sentence?
Hold on, I'm taking a
drink of water.
No, no, no, you get it under his back breath.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, wait a minute. Lead ghost driver,
are you Marco Rubio?
I'm putting the glass down and I'm not going to answer any of your questions I'm just going to move on as for the in-game functionality there are only limited modifications you can do to a car
each car that drives in has has the ones they are like available but they can't decide what
will look best on them. That is where you and
most importantly, your money come in.
Oh, I see.
So, I think
Saints Row has their
ideas figured out for the next game now.
Yeah. Saints Row,
what if you could fuck the cars?
They would do that at this point, I think.
Of all the DLC they have released, man, they really missed the fucking...
My name is Delta underscore X3.
I know we've chatted on the matter before.
I think what it really comes down to is how your car feels about it.
After all, nobody will know them quite like their owner.
As for my lady, Ash loves these internal performance enhancing mods.
I've given her a K&N intake to help that engine take in more air easier
and the exhaust that minimizes the negative effects that the thicker stock mufflers can have.
Minimal, but it's there.
Plus, it gives her back that muscle car growl they seem to have sheared away from.
An injustice, if you ask me.
But just as a personal choice, I've never done any appearance-altering mods to her.
There's nothing I could think of doing that could improve on the Camaro's stock look.
In that department,
she's perfect as is.
Guys, I think this guy might be
a serial killer.
No, he's a cartoon
wolf. By the way,
I actually know what the
perfect modification
for a Camaro would be.
If you spray
paint a firebird on the hood and just
make everyone furious.
Oh, yeah. You piss off everybody.
It'll make my uncle angry.
Yeah, nobody would like that. It will make everybody's
uncle angry.
While I don't like the idea
of somebody throwing a fart can and a $55 body kit on their rice grinder,
maybe that's a reflection of the car culture of the owner and their car.
Some cars may absolutely love getting flashy Stichers and Doodads,
while others take pride in the look their makers gave them.
and doodads while others take pride in the look their makers gave them.
Like me.
I'll never get any kind of piercing, but some guys think it's the bee's knees.
Bee's knees. Some other guys think it's the cat's pajamas.
How's your doo-wop group doing?
23 Skidoo.
Some cars would absolutely love looking at themselves in a mirror with that lime green
paint job and aggressive body kit that old phrase about tattoos you wouldn't put a bumper sticker
on a ferrari maybe it might like one nobody would know better to the owner in this philosophy i'm
only talking about those who actually have the bond with our cars that we do.
It's an unfortunate fact of life that a vast majority will think of cars as just things.
Right.
They don't know what they're missing out on.
And nothing you can do about that.
They'll just do with their things as they please.
Oh, you're right.
He is a serial killer.
Called it.
things as they please.
Oh, you're right. He is a serial killer.
Called it.
Until the rise of our machine overlords, in which
case we shall hopefully be looked
kindly upon for our compassion
as the rest of humanity is used as
living batteries.
You got your
car wakes up and then it looks at you
and says, well, leave that one alone.
You got your matrix in my maximum overdrive.
You got your maximum overdrive in my matrix.
And forced to live in.
Yeah, that's the joke.
In a computer generated reality until the one defeats machines and leads humanity to its freedom.
But I digress.
Neo, what if we could fuck the cars?
What if I told you, you can fuck cars?
Well, I know fuck food.
In this hand, I have a blue pill.
In this hand, fuck the car.
In this hand.
That was a long reading to be able to keep both your fingers up your nose there.
That's a message.
Oh, shit.
Oh, I didn't realize I had them up there.
Sorry.
I'm a man oh shit oh I didn't realize I had them up there sorry
fart can is a
kind of a muffler that makes
things I guess louder or
it's like the
it's like the buzzy muffler that
you hear
it doesn't go woo woo
no
that's like an alarm clock
you should be up cooking eggs and shit.
Making breakfast. Supposed to be making
breakfast.
Hey, F+. Hello. What?
It's time for poetry!
Yay! All right.
All right.
I'm afraid to say that we
only have time for one poem.
What? Aw. Yeah, so sorry.
So sorry. Boots, I think you get to pick which poem we're going to go for here.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So you've got, well, you got a couple options here.
Option number one is a, and just imagine I'm always putting scare quotes around this poem.
Right.
Option number one is a poem called These dreams of an abandoned crj hyphen 700
right right classic yeah classic okay it's a little night before christmas but it'll do
uh the next one is called a skipper's memories um and then the last one is called a dusty dream ah sounds like a tom petty
song uh let's let's go with the skipper's memories uh skipper's memories all right fantastic it's a
it's a bit long if you feel like tagging someone out you go right on ahead we are on deviant art
by the way the home of the home of fine Yeah, no, we can't get through the entirety of this without passing it off to our resident poet.
DeviantArt.
DeviantArt resident poet.
Oh, yeah.
Fair enough.
Oh, thank you.
Anyway, a skipper's memories.
I was once asked, do we all have a purpose?
One we are destined to fulfill?
Maybe we do.
Maybe we don't.
Oh, great.
That was amazing.
Good poem.
Oh, fuck.
Things I did and did not do 70 years ago still weigh heavily on my mind.
Oh, God.
I was just an 18-year-old Corsair, an average young American plane.
I took life for granted.
But Imperial Japan
changed all of that.
Free verse.
Drafted to serve in the Navy.
I went on to become an ace,
but not without a price.
What's the price?
I saw with my own eyes
things that even now I can't describe.
Yay!
Good poem, buddy!
So we're going to skip this.
Okay.
You shouldn't describe things in poems.
Yeah.
What are you going to use, like words?
Some roads diverge in the woods.
I can't recall how many.
Yeah.
I may be old and grounded,
but time can never erase certain things from history.
I do look back.
I do not look back on the past with pride.
I look back on it more as a more dismal time.
One where young planes, ships, and land vehicles slugged it out with one another.
I don't like this poem.
I don't like it.
Neither side would back down, not until the bitter end.
I was merely an 18-year-old,
and I saw other planes my age die.
Most were considered hostile,
but the look in the enemy's eyes still frightens me to this day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do not weep for war is kind.
Come on, get on with it.
I'd rather die, go down in flames, then surrender to them.
No, no.
They'd rather die than surrender to themselves.
You're right.
Yeah.
They'd rather die than go down in flames and then surrender.
To them, there was no greater dishonor, Stog.
Oh.
Flames covered their white fuselages.
Columns of water marked their impact with the sea their engines let out shrieking wails before going silent forever also apparently the pilots died but
like yeah who cares about those guys well i saw things i can't describe but then two paragraphs
later i start describing them. Huge cocks!
Yeah, I finally figured out how to describe
them.
That's why you have a first draft.
I can still see my
comrades, my brothers in wings.
We'd give it our all
and come out on top.
But some of my brothers
never made it home, shot down
by the enemy,
lost in a storm,
or ran out of fuel.
The look in my comrades' eyes,
they did not wish to die.
They wanted to return home,
but circumstances prevented that.
Such a poetic way of putting that.
Circumstances. Yeah, circumstances.
But it just didn't work out the way they wanted it to.
Sometimes you fuck the bar, sometimes the bar fucks you.
Hey, sometimes the place just don't have enough feel, okay?
This is the old poetic trope of stating the same thing over and over again.
To see one of my own die in a column of spray.
Right, yep, I remember that part.
Door open my fuselage with regret.
This is my last resort.
Tear open my fuselage with regret.
This is my last resort.
I could not save them,
only press on and save myself.
To see my ship ablaze, my brothers parked on deck, caught in the flames.
Other planes shot down.
I don't know if you noticed that, but...
Hey, did you have any comrades?
I saw them beg me to help, but I was powerless against the Inferno.
to help, but I was powerless against the Inferno.
I fought on
in their memory. My brothers
have names, just so long
as I fight for them, even today.
Good choice,
Boots. You really picked a great poem.
Oh, this one's on me.
Okay.
Skip forward to...
Thanks for writing this, Boots. Skip forward to I have a new responsibility.
Yeah, it's not enough that you wanted to fuck the airplanes.
You also wanted to role play as a 1940s.
Hey, this stuff's pretty weird, huh?
Plus, I mean, unless you're into it, in which case, that's fine.
Well, where did you want me to start like i have a new response
he has a new responsibility yeah yeah new responsibility to watch his comrades die
into a plume of water yeah i have a new responsibility now i watch over dusty
likely my dearest friend he gave me purpose again a exist. Dusty is like a son to me, though I never had a child of my own.
He's grown up remarkably quickly, but despite my duty of watching over him,
memories of the past still cling tightly to my conscience.
So are we, like, canonically, like, Pixar's planes now?
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Yeah.
Except probably for the end where he ends up like
spurting all over Dusty's face.
The great Toy Story wars.
Dusty's son is the
useless F-35.
Oh.
Take that.
Though the war I took part of has long
since ended, inside me the fires of that dreaded war burn fiercely
I still dream of the horrid things I've seen
Like what? Like what kind of things have you seen?
Uh, they're indescribable
Uh, there's fuselages
Uh, fuselage is kind of the only part of the plane I know
Uh, there's fuselages
I'm not sure, but I think Uh, there's fuselage is kind of the only part of the plane I know. There's fuselages. Wings? I'm not sure, but I think.
There's fuselages.
There's columns of spray.
Wings, yeah.
Well, there's big old dicks.
Like a plane got caught on fire or something.
I don't know.
I still dream of the horrid things I've seen.
I may be nearing my late 80s, but I feel that deep down I'm still
18, a regular
kid from the States.
Though I wish I could have done
more, I cannot change what
has already been done.
I am alone. The Jolly Wrenches
are all but deceased.
Jolly Wrenches? The Jolly Wrenches?
Yeah, sounds tasty.
Yeah. This tasty. Yeah.
This whole thing was speech to text.
But the memories live within me until my fuselage is rusty and decayed and my engine sparted out one final time.
My former squadron's memories will live on in me.
Yay.
Yay. That was a
really good poem. Yay!
Not afraid to tackle the big ideas.
Yeah, so what did we learn
from any of this, F-Plus?
Planes are sexy.
Planes are sexy.
Really good. Really sexy.
The car...
Go ahead, Booth.
I feel like I was about to make the same point you're going to make, so go ahead.
You really think they're the same thing?
Okay.
I'll bet.
So do you think these guys roofie their cars before they fuck?
They put sugar in the car's gas tank before they fuck.
All right, Boots.
Well, great minds.
Go to jail together.
That's gross, Boots.
Hey, guys, do you think these guys roofied the...
Boots, that's pretty funny, man.
So, like, there's a lot of similarities to the car-fucking one,
except there was no... There were no stories of people actually trying to fuck planes.
Right, right, right.
I would have thought that would be, like,
somebody trying to, like, wedge their dick between, like like, you know, like the garbage flap of the bathroom
or something like that.
Yeah.
After slipping on ice.
You know, they all got jobs where they could find access,
but they just haven't had the confidence.
Yeah, exactly.
They all seem to be airplane mechanics,
but they're just saying,
oh, I could get arrested for this
because this plane is under 18 or some shit.
Oh, my God.
is under 18 or some shit.
Oh my god.
I felt like there was a lot of
very confusing
like so
much confusing anatomy to this
where I question
even though these guys seem to like work
at airports, they don't seem to understand
what a plane is
or how it works
or like I think it was's the one guy that worked
at an airport okay no no there were multiple yeah there were a couple of people who were like
airplane mechanics or yeah the the the porno airplanes loom so heavily in their minds that
they can't think of the other thing anymore and And then they're like, why the fuck are there children in airplanes? That's basically
like a strip club. Oh, yes.
It's a classic
Looney Tunes is porn
like messed up way of
thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
These are the kind of people who see two
planes refueling in mid-flight and think,
oh, yeah, I totally can jerk off
to this. Oh, can we have them have
babies too?
Yeah, fetishes are just a fun little journey that you can, I mean, you know, like,
you can just have a hobby.
That can just be your thing for a while.
You know, make this my boner.
It's going to be a three-year process, but at the end, no one will ever talk to me, so...
Hey, at least I'm not turned on
by cartoon skunks anymore,
so I got that going for me.
The website, as always,
thefbl.us.
We've got some merch that we want to sell you.
By the time this episode comes up, we should have
magnetic poetry for sale.
I know, I know. You're excited. I'm excited, too. Magnetic poetry for sale. I know. I know. You're excited.
I'm excited, too. Magnetic poetry
for sale. THGFPL.US
That's all I have. Oh, ball pit.
Bye. Bye-bye, everybody.
Ball pit. Don't fuck
the plane hot.
Don't fuck the plane. Don't fuck the plane.
Don't fuck the plane.
Don't fuck the plane, period. How hard is that?
Please buy the plane dinner first. Reheat the airplane. Don't fuck the plane. Don't fuck the plane. Don't fuck the plane, period. How hard is that? Let's buy the plane dinner first.
Reheat the airplane first before you fuck it.
Make loaves to the plane.
Okay. I'm gonna make you be a girl.
I'm gonna make you be a girl.