The F Plus - 276: im•`prüv yər lek•sə•`kän
Episode Date: March 5, 2018For nearly 20 years, the website Urban Dictionary has been providing definitions for words and terms not covered by the Merriam-Webster dictionary. And that statement is true, so you needn't con...cern yourself with the cromulence of these definitions, or exactly how many fictitious sex acts need to be defined. Because this time we have a game show to play and it doesn't go smoothly. This week, The F Plus tries to figure out the difference between Lil Pump and Lil Peep.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
April 7th, 2018 is...
Carpet Day!
Huh?
No!
Stay tuned.
T-H-E-F-P-L dot U-S.
Yo, Brian is a fuck.
When I see him, I want to say fuck.
Here we go, are you ready for one another dream warriors noise is new discover all once again with the new blend so telephone a friend yeah uh welcome to the f plus
baby it's a podcast and it's driving you crazy.
In the room tonight we have Boots Ring here.
Juggalo hater.
A group of
misconcepted fuckholes
who think they are
better than juggalos
who are actually wrong
because juggalos believe
in treating everyone equally
so they are wrong
and deserve to be shot
and stabbed in the face
so fuck off you fucktards.
Woo woo!
Juggalos for life!
Frank wust!
Hashtag rainbow dash.
Hashtag nosebleed. Hashtag ring boner. Hashtag wing hyphen bonurst. Hashtag Rainbow Dash. Hashtag Nosebleed.
Hashtag Ring Boner.
Hashtag Wing-Boner.
Hashtag Wing Boner.
John Toast.
Yowie!
Gay porn!
Naruto.
Sasuke.
Not there.
Sasuke.
Moans and groans.
Yowie.
Portex.
You ever talk to Linda?
I heard she pulled a plaid grilled cheese jamboree jewel heist yesterday.
Lou Fernandez.
Bro lick.
To vigorously finger someone under a table.
Tim thought he could bro lick at Applebee's, but the entire store could see him bro licking.
And Lemon.
Brian fuck.
A Brian that is also a fuck.
Get a Brian fuck mug.
My definition.
My definition.
My definition is this.
My definition.
My definition is this.
My definition.
Hey, F+.
Hi, everyone.
Hello.
Hey, what are your resolutions for this, the year of 2018 that we're currently in?
800 by 600.
Ha ha!
Burn.
To laugh at toast jokes more.
Yeah, so any good resolutions?
Anything that you're looking forward to?
Anything that you're trying to improve in yourself?
So many. Can you improve in yourself? So many things.
Where to start?
That was a knowing silence.
Wow.
I liked five seconds of silence followed by five seconds of everyone at the same time.
Yay.
To stop interrupting each other.
We are on our game. Well, I wanted to improve myself this year by increasing my lexicon.
So I was going to buy a Word of Day calendar, but then I was like, I can't find Barnes & Noble anymore.
Barnes & Noble anymore.
So instead,
I went to a site that I remembered from back in
1999 called Urban Dictionary.
Now, Urban Dictionary still
exists. It is still
popular, and it is still considered
a piece of reference material
by large swaths
of the internet, and that is troubling
because they shouldn't.
And I think that today's episode might prove that very thing.
But if you're not familiar, Urban Dictionary was set up
as a user-created sort of wiki of definitions of slang terms.
For example,
microprotention is the word of the day.
And then the trending
words of the day are,
let's see, there's box set boyfriend,
fifth base,
living in a van down by the
river, diversity hire,
meat umbrella,
and Burger king foot lettuce
yeah exactly sure so we have a uh ball pit member and a first-time submitter uh by the name of
ragnarok boobies uh who gave us uh who gave us an urbanary document, and we are going to, yeah, improve our lexicon,
know a little bit more about this world that we live in,
and have some new words that we can work into
quality, high-class cocktail conversations.
So the document starts off with the word yiff.
I think we're familiar, so we're going to just move away from that.
So Toast, you have a
definition that you want to share here.
What's the definition you want to share?
The definition I want to share is
foot fetish.
Okay, and what's foot fetish?
That's good, because I don't know what that is.
What's a foot fetish? I've never been in part of the F Plus before.
Well, let me expand your lexicon.
Let me help you out here, Lemon.
Thank you.
When you cremé your pants seeing a chick's bare feet,
look at her sexy feet wiggle.
I wish I could put my face between her soles and lick them.
Then suck her toes and stick my dick between her toes.
suck her toes and stick my dick between her toes.
I gotta say,
I gotta say, I can't imagine
the next four seconds.
Like, after you put your dick between her toes
and then you just sort of share a glance
together going,
was this what you expected?
Yeah, it's kind of like a dog catching the car
kind of situation. It's like, well, I'm here.
Where do I go from here?
So I'm going to go to a different beach if that's fine with you.
I'm sorry, Toast.
Toast, what was your name, by the way?
You want to know my name?
Yeah.
What is your name?
My name is Suck-a-Dim-Toes.
Suck-a-Toes every day.
Suck-a-Dim-Toes, do you have any other definitions of words that you want to share? I do. What's that? suck toes every day uh suckin' dem toes
do you have any other definitions
of words that you want to share?
I do
what's that?
toes
you ever heard of them?
I've
I know what toes are
I think I have
can you tell me more?
sure
urban slang
those very
grow up on the mean streets of toes
Those very sexy things
On the end of a hot chick's foot
That you wish you could be sucking on
Look at those toes dude
I wish I could suck them
And your name again?
Yeah use it in the sentence
My name again for the record
Is sucking them toes
Ugly chicks are not allowed to name again, for the record, is Suckin' Dem Toes. Suckin' Dem Toes.
Ugly chicks are not allowed to the
Prologue of Toes.
At least I see chicks.
Portex, what is
creme?
Actually, it's not creme, because it doesn't have the little tilde
over the... I pronounced it creme,
but it's spelled like creme.
Yeah.
So what is creme, but it's spelled like creme. Yeah. Creme. So what is creme?
The female equivalent of creaming one's self.
I will never.
Creaming.
Of creaming one's self.
I will never eat a Cadbury egg for as long as I live.
Kaboom.
Used to describe a state of extreme sexual excitement.
Wow, he just totally made me cram in my pants.
Hashtag cream.
Hashtag sexual excitement.
Hashtag female.
Hashtag ejaculation.
Hashtag cum.
Hey, Baba...
What is your name?
Baba...
Bobastasia. Oh... Bobastacia.
Oh, Bobastacia.
I mean, gender equality is one thing,
but this whole idea of the female equivalent
of creaming one pants,
I just don't know that it really has a one-to-one ratio.
Hashtag cum.
Okay, fair enough.
By the way, there's no spaces.
I don't know if that's the doc, but I like to believe that
that's just one long
extended hashtag.
Like all of those all together.
So the hashtag is cream hashtag sexual
excitement hashtag.
Oh my god.
Every username so far in this doc
has been really magical.
And speaking of,
Lou,
the Urban Dictionary is not just a definition of words.
It's also a definition of phrases.
There's a particular phrase that I keep hearing in this year
that I keep hearing all the time,
which is called end of the millennium bullshit.
Part of that is hyphenated.
Yeah, I'm very familiar with that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you define for me end of the millennium bullshit?
Why, sure, I'd love to.
Thank you.
End of the millennium bullshit.
The wave of excessive bullshit that dominated everything during the fucking PC 90s, especially the second half.
In 1993, ABC TV aired a special on angels, chiefly because New Age freaks decided that they believed in them.
It gave, quote, a...
New Age.
Okay.
Oh, that New Age Christianity.
You know, the New Age freaks had a big influence on 90s television.
Yeah, they just love Second Heaven.
I didn't know we could get...
Second Heaven.
I didn't know we could get Morton Downey Jr. on this podcast.
It gave details of supposed encounters with angels by people who wanted to make some easy money in their Warholian famous 15 minutes.
I think you're going to be a fan of scare quotes, aren't you?
famous 15 minutes.
I think you're going to be a fan of scare quotes, aren't you?
Soon after that, prophecy shows appeared on TV. You're going to get arthritis in your index and middle fingers.
Soon after that, prophecy shows appeared on TV to fool the gullible and uninformed
and using superstitions, misread readings, scientifically unsound theories, and outright lies.
The Angel Fad didn't abate.
What?
The Angel Fad got started quite some time before TV was a bit...
No, you mean 1992? Or what, 1991?
It took one sentence in this definition to go off into a crazy angel tension.
One of the writers of the Torah bursting into the room, hey guys, I think we got a hit here.
Glad this shit's finally catching on.
Look, guys, CBS put out Touched by an Angel to feed the heat of the moment sentiments.
The up to that point good country band Alabama put out...
Ah!
Ooh!
Whoa!
Up-to-that-point, they were good.
Point of order?
You're talking about the 90s?
Yeah, Alabama, that hot 90s band.
Alabama in the 90s, okay.
They had been good up to that point.
I can't think of a country artist.
We're in the second half.
Like, first half of the 90s, Alabama were amazing.
Look, they put out the trend-chasing crap song, Angels Among Us.
And angel pins and other angel-themed merchandise was sold.
Cha-ching!
They're in the pocket of Big Angel.
In 1996,
this is where it gets important, guys.
In 1996, Comet
Hayatukatake
graced our skies with a spectacular
showing.
After that,
it happened again with the wonderful
Comet Hale-Bopp.
Wait a minute.
Are you a Heaven's Gate guy that didn't remember to kill yourself?
I'm just trying to figure out how to kill myself.
He put the sheet on his head and then he just fell asleep like a bird.
Many cults and sects appeared out from under the woodpile, and many people committed suicide
en masse.
Many.
Not, okay.
I mean, like a dozen, I think.
Well.
I mean, that's many.
That's a lot of people.
That's a lot of people.
I mean, I only know like 20 people, so it's a lot.
That'd be more than half.
Particularly in the Order of the Solar Temple, Heaven's Gate, and more.
particularly in the order of the solar temple,
heaven's gate, and more.
When the aforementioned comets came close to the earth,
much doomsaying was made,
and ignorance was rampant.
One particular cult picked up its tents and settled outside the city of Jerusalem
to wait for the arrival of Jesus Christ.
The comets gave an impetus for Hollywood
to make some really crappy Disaster from the Sky movies.
Oh, no.
And Hollywood never did that before.
Oh, no.
That's why.
It's too Hollywood.
Look, man,
the end of the millennium bullshit,
it covers a lot of ground.
Guys, this is a really good definition.
It is.
This is the textbook definition.
Yeah, this is all the connotation.
Could you use it in a sentence?
He is!
Could you use it in like 50 sentences?
Yeah, I don't think I've seen a period.
Could you use it in an insane screen, please?
Well, simply put, Jesus Christ didn't return.
He will when he's ready to, not before, and not when we predict it.
Sounds like angel talk to me.
A stands for angel. The universe kept rolling.
TV, movies, the internet, other forms of communication,
clothing styles, music, culture, religion, and much more
were affected by the trends of all the end of the millennium bullshit
that came out in the last decade of the 20th century.
Okay, Prince said...
Everyone was dressed like angels and comets.
It sucked. Okay, Prince said... Everyone was dressed like angels and comets. It sucked.
Okay, Prince said,
they say 2000 party over oops out of time,
so tonight it's gonna party like it's 1999.
But why did so many people have to take it all so literally?
As we well know...
By the way, way to find the best song
By the way
As we all know
It's 2007
And we're still here for all it's worth
The end ain't gonna come soon
Wait, the end ain't gonna come until it's time for it
Hashtag millennium
Hashtag century
Hashtag 1999
Hashtag trends
Hashtag fads
Hashtag hip today Hashtag misinformation Hashtag century. Hashtag 1999. Hashtag trends. Hashtag fads. Hashtag hip today.
Hashtag misinformation.
Hashtag falsehoods.
Hashtag pseudoscience.
Hashtag yammering.
Hashtag rumors.
Hashtag messiah.
Hashtag holy land.
Hashtag cult suicides.
Hashtag Marshall Applegate.
Hashtag Jim Jones.
Hashtag UFO.
Jim Jones? That hashtag Jones Elvis theories
before this.
Yeah, it's some pre early end
of the millennium bullshit,
but still in there.
Hey, wait a minute.
We need the next one.
Let's see.
Cult hashtag cult suicides
hashtag Apple Marshall
Applegate hashtag Jim Jones
hashtag UFOs hashtag Elvish
theories Elvis not Elvish
hashtag Elvish theories, Elvis, not Elvish.
Elvish theories.
Fashion,
hashtag conspiracy theories, hashtag talk radio, hashtag gossip,
hashtag tabloids, hashtag shit,
hashtag controversy,
hashtag corporate fads,
hashtag astronomical events,
hashtag guardian angels,
hashtag wormwood
hashtag genocide
hashtag wars
hashtag antichrist
hashtag death
hashtag armageddon
hashtag omen
hashtag vision
hashtag it's the end of the world as we know it
and I feel fine
that's all great
that was all really informative
thank you so very much for your hashtags.
But I have a very, very, very important question, sir.
What is your username?
Oh, my username is I saw you two live twice.
That's why I know there is no God.
Well, you only see you two live twice.
By the way, this guy has 471 definitions.
Yeah, I was about to ask.
Hey, I saw U2 live twice.
Can you give me just a couple of phrases that you've defined here?
Oh, one moment, please.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have to look into my own history here.
Just any definitions that stand out for you as things that needed to be defined. Well, my top
definition is, of course, Ted Nugent.
Right, yeah, of course.
People are often confused
by him. Can you really define
Ted Nugent? I'm very proud of my
definition of ha-ha charade
you are,
which is a common saying here on
the East Coast.
That's from a Pink Floyd song.
What's number six? Which is a common saying here on the East Coast. That's from a Pink Floyd song. Pink Floyd song.
What's number six?
Trampolina.
Surely you've heard this word.
I got a really important question for you.
I saw you two live twice.
Yeah, sure.
What's up?
I know that Rush has many definitions.
Sure.
Can you give me the top four uses of the word rush?
Oh, my examples that I wrote.
Right, yeah, yeah.
Sure, of course.
This is a very popular definition of mine from 2006.
Definition one, we got to rush if we're going to-
No, no, no, that's not your definition.
That's your use.
I want to know the definition. Oh, the definition sorry one two yeah one to hurry that's pretty simple two
sensation bracket sometimes a quote-unquote high you get from something powerful three
the first name of a hypocritical extremist demagogue drug addict radio talk show host. Okay. Fine. And four?
And four is a very intelligent
progressive hard rock band from
Canada that plays kick-ass songs
with mature, quote-unquote, thinking
man lyrics. Now that
Pink Floyd is disbanded, the award for
giving the best and most spectacular concerts
in the world goes to Rush.
We see them
before they
grow old and retire.
Before? Before?
Oh, this is back in 2006 when they were all young
and spry. Yeah, this guy
posted solidly from 2006
to 2008 using this as his blog.
And then he vanished until
2017 and he came back
just to write mean things about
Trump, basically.
I'd like to read my sentence, my
example sentence for Rush.
Oh great, yeah, yeah. Rush has been around
for over 30 years and have influenced
many bands like Living Color and
Queensryche. Rush should be
inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
I had to spend time this afternoon
explaining to somebody
who couldn't quite grasp that I didn't like Rush
Just he didn't
He had never met a human being in the world
I'm like I don't like Rush
I think they're awful
I don't like the sounds that come into my ears
when they play
Did you offend his mean mean pride?
So like your headphones are broken?
Or, like, I'm just not understanding.
Would you be surprised to learn he's a drummer?
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me So just a quick sticking on to the I saw you two live twice.
It is urban dictionary definition for kids bop.
It starts with the sentence, a money-making scheme that is the end of music itself.
Oh, yeah.
The kids bop.
If there's anything wrong with the music industry right now, it's kids bop. Hey, Boots, can you use the phrase kids bop in a sentence?
Yes.
All kids bop albums suck out the ass big time.
Good.
Good sentence.
Good sentence.
Oh, and before we forget, I want to propose a new tag for the F Plus website, which is
I made this site my blog.
Well, I'm already using I saw you two live twice as a tag.
They could be both.
I just realized there's a lot of sites where there's a lot of episodes we've already recorded that wouldn't apply.
So moving on here, there is a user by the name of DeadTiltMDeadInTheGround.
And Frank West, this is a definition.
It's just an acronym. I can't imagine what this acronym means.. It's just an acronym.
I can't imagine what this acronym means.
So there's an acronym here I need to have defined, which is ICP.
Oh.
I don't know.
Is that some sort of urine thing, or what is that?
ICP, what is that?
Well, until I'm dead in the ground.
Uh-huh.
Whoa, that's not where I expected that to go.
The insane clown posse has been trying to kill me.
Uh-oh.
You must be a chicken or a fat bitch or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They don't like chickens.
They don't like chickens.
So has all of Psychopathic Records.
They've been telling me in secret codes and hidden messages, shrouded in symbolic meanings.
You know, Tilton dead in the ground, I think that if they are trying to kill you, I think you'd probably outrun them.
Yeah.
I was going to say, you don't know what I look like.
Or do you?
I don't need to hear this.
If you just want to buy the gun, just fill out the paperwork.
Hey, till I'm dead in the ground, let's take a helicopter ride.
What do you say?
Specific lyrics relate to other specific lyrics on different tracks of albums,
or even spanning throughout the catalog.
I disagree.
The task is to make you
go crazy enough to figure it out.
Their motive is your own
wickedness, and once you
listen, the message is clear.
Get the fuck out. Fuck
the fuck off. Fly away.
Fly away. This guy's on some
dark carnival shit, man.
Some dark carnival shit. First you gotta, yeah, yeah. Some dark carnival shit.
First you gotta try to take a cell phone.
Right, fam?
Then you fly away.
No, no, no, no.
Pelicans run away.
According to canonical ICP lore, when pelicans eat your cell phone, they run away.
Let's stop being fucking juggalos, people.
The ICP wants us dead because we're all assholes.
Okay.
Hashtag ICP.
Hashtag insane clown posse.
Hashtag psychopathic records.
Hashtag dark lotus.
Hashtag twisted.
Hashtag blaze.
Hashtag boondocks.
Excellent.
All right.
So that's great.
Document here provided
Ragnarok boobies and
there's a bunch of ones
in there.
This is a particular
boots.
I'm going to give you a particular word
that I've always had difficulty with.
It's always a thing that people on Ball Pit are making fun of me for.
So, um...
Yeah?
Yowie Lemon.
Yay-oh-hi Lemon.
Is that it?
Yay-oh-hi Lemon.
I can hear the keyboards of everyone correcting you on the comments as we speak.
I can hear the keyboards of everyone correcting you on the comments as we speak.
Dear F+,
I cannot believe you continue to have lemon on
after all this time.
Wait, wait, wait.
Is it like a 70s British
oy band?
That's actually really close.
That's pretty much it.
It's Yahweh.
It's not how it's actually pronounced, but now I want to...
Yahweh? It's Yahweh. I want to start a petition that it now has to be pronounced.
Anyway, define that for me, won't you?
Yaoi Lemon.
To understand this term, it's good to know what the individual words mean in the context that they are in.
Yawai is the Japanese word for male homosexuality.
To put it simply, it means gay.
Portex, point of order.
Is that actually the definition, or is that just like the otaku comic book word for male homosexuality?
It's just like a comic of dudes fucking. Butity. It's just a comic of
dudes fucking.
That's the thing.
It means a comic of dudes fucking.
It doesn't actually mean dudes fucking, right?
Yeah, I think the only time
someone would ever look at
a gay couple and be like,
you guys are such a yowie.
Have you ever seen a girl do that?
Just pick her up by the hair, swing her around a few times,
and throw her into the nearest fire.
Okay,
all right.
I mean,
that seems like a reasonable response.
In the Magic Worlds of X,
there is no difference
between the real world
and a comic, Lemon.
Oh,
that's nice.
You just live in anime all the time.
I don't think it's specifically a comic,
I think it's a genre.
Okay.
Well,
yeah,
but I think it got started as comics.
All right, all right, all right.
Never mind.
I'm sorry for bringing it up.
The word is actually an acronym that comes from the Japanese phrase
Yamanashi, Ochinashi, Iminashi,
meaning no climax, no point, no meaning.
Wow, that's a gay dude's never come.
Yeah.
What do you do?
So blue balls.
Yai. Yeah. Yai. No way. gay dudes never come. What do you do? Yaoi has come... Yaoi!
Yaoi has also come to describe
a particular genre of Japanese shows,
anime, and comics,
manga, that depict
male homosexual relationships.
These types of shows are becoming
increasingly popular among mostly
female fans of anime and manga.
Fans of yaoi often take their
favorite male characters
from any anime or manga
and pair them together
regardless of sexual orientation
in the original story.
I do this.
The second word, lemon,
is a term used amongst the fanfiction
community. Quite frankly, it means
that there will be a graphic sex scene
in any story designated as a lemon.
Yeah!
I like that
I had that name
way before I knew that.
I like that I had a name
and then eventually it was like, oh, that's where you got your name from.
It was like, oh, by the way,
your name means graphic sex.
Okay, cool.
Or, like, shitty car.
Well, yeah, that I hear.
Graphic sex in a shitty car.
Also that bad YouTube show.
It's 11-11.
The word yaoi derives from the Japanese for graphic
sex and shitty car.
These types of stories would be rated
either NC-17
or X by the MPAA.
Usually, authors
will inform the reader of any lemons at the beginning
of a story. Lemons refers to
any type of sexual activity
that includes penetration of some sort.
Another
term that is used along lemon is lime.
This is simply less graphic
description of sexual acts. These
stories usually do not go further than heavy
petting.
Hello, if you put them together
is it a sprite? Because that would be great.
Hello lemon, it is me, Archnemesis
Lime.
God damn it. Limes are also more commonly referred to as shonen meaning boys love in japan in japanese
wow so if we combine the two words the meaning is a story that graphically describes the sexual
acts of two male participants whose characters usually come from Japanese anime or manga.
Anime, I'm sorry,
what? Come from what? Japanese anime of manga.
Anime of manga.
Yay. Anime of manga.
Okay. Typically
these types of stories focus completely on
sex scenes and consist of little to no
actual plot. Good.
A yaoi lime.
Sasuke grabbed
Naruto and desperately pressed
his lips against the other boy.
He could already feel himself growing
excited and began to grind against
Naruto.
Don't stop. A yaoi,
Lemon.
Oh no.
Sasuke quickly shoved his cock into
Naruto's ass, hitting the fox boy's prostate and making him moan.
Oh, God.
I need to put that in someone's list of fanfiction quotes.
Hashtag anime.
Hashtag yaoi.
Hashtag lemon.
Hashtag sex.
Hashtag hentai.
Hashtag fanficaton. Hashtag fanficaton. Hashtag lemon, hashtag sex, hashtag hentai, hashtag fanficaton, hashtag uke, hashtag seme, hashtag manga.
I'm combo base.
Boots, can I just say I love you?
I love that you pronounce those words correctly.
Anyways.
If we do it about Kingdom Hearts then can we call it good I approve
alright it's time for the
asexual portion of this show
by the way there is by the way I just want to tell
the listener right now because I forgot to mention this
up at the top there is a game show at the end
of this there is a game show
at the end of this anyway
so we are coming up to the asexual portion
of this document is that to we are coming up to the asexual portion of this
document. Is that to help them get through this part?
And my
name is Emotears.
So, I'm cool.
Okay, so I want to tell you
about an asexual
ass fuck.
Seems like a difficult move.
When
someone who is asexual, meaning they feel no sexual feelings, makes a sexual joke, they are being asexual as fuck.
It's supposed to be asexual as fuck, but the extra S stands
for sex.
Uh-huh.
Portex, you want an example, don't you?
I do. Okay, here's
an example. Let's say
an asexual person
says,
ha ha, look at
that ball sack.
Okay, that is a joke. Right, that's ha ha. That that ball sack okay that is a joke so right that's ha ha that's why i said
that you start every joke with in my mind they're also pointing it's how you know right okay and
then so the asexual person said that then the person says but wait aren't you asexual because
if you're interested in balls then you point and laugh at them right but if you're asexual? Because if you're interested in balls, then you point and laugh at them.
Right.
But if you're asexual, you wouldn't do that.
Well, you're also in a situation
where ball sacks are just free-rowing
in this situation, I suppose.
Yeah.
But you find them funny.
And then, in response to that,
the asexual person would say,
yeah, I'm asexual as fuck.
And what does person say?
There's no response.
There's just tags.
Asexual.
That's dropping the mic shit right there.
Hashtag sexual.
Hashtag asexual as fuck.
Hashtag lesbian.
Hashtag gay.
Hashtag LGBTQ.
And then bonus points.
It's like New Game Plus.
LGBTQ bonus.
So that was asexual
ass fuck.
Portex, will you tell me about
asexual?
Sure.
Let's talk about
asexual.
Okay.
A person who rejects people.
Oh, no.
What? Define the word, please. I need help.
A person who rejects people but accepts animals as lovers.
Oh, that's the word for that.
I've been looking for a definition
of someone who rejects people
but accepts animals as lovers.
I couldn't figure out where I left it.
Wow, a yard sale!
Okay.
Kyle did not
like the boy
or the girl
yet the little chicken turned him on.
He is an asexual.
Hashtag gay.
Hashtag wow.
Wow, are we in ClickHole?
Hashtag wow. Wow. Are we on click hole? Hashtag Tom Cruise.
OMG.
Hashtag Tom Cruise.
Yep.
Hashtag Lumpow.
Jot Jot Jot.
Hashtag Daddy Issues.
And what's your name?
My name is Jot.
Ah, knee boy.
Smiley face.
Close parentheses.
Oh, I guess that is a smiley face.
That was from 2011.
I always think that's unibrow.
When somebody asked me, like, when somebody asked me, Lemon, like, why do you still spend time, like, doing all this shit on the internet?
That's why.
That is a distillation of why.
Just to point out one of the features of Urban Dictionary,
you can buy
an asexual
mug for $25.
Oh, cool. Seems like a fair
price, thank you for telling me. I mean, I was going to buy a
Rush one, but I guess I'll go for
this one instead. Why not buy both?
Hey, Gary, great mug. Well, let me
tell you all about it. You see, this means...
It's my mug.
Boots, what's
asexy sex?
Asexy sex?
Asexy sex.
Asexy sex
is the highest form of stimulation
an asexual female will allow
other than to appease a partner.
Also known as asexual sex, or nosing.
I've had asexy sex with another asexual before.
It was strangely pleasing.
So what, you just scissor each other with dead eyes?
Sounds awful.
That sounds like the worst thing in the world.
Why would you have a partner that you had to please?
Someone who's like, I really love how
not into me you are.
Oh, Lou, don't. No.
That can't work. Bad, bad time.
Don't look that up.
It will make you sad forever.
Oh, no.
Alright.
Okay, so
Can I read one of the hashtags
from that? Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Muzzling! Thank you.
So there's
some definitions here. We got wingboner
which is a term stemming from the TV show
My Little Pony's Friendship is Magic.
Then there's
pompf, which is the sound that a
pegasus
makes when it gets
a wing boner
Then there's
Syrup
We can't skip this
Oh god
Oh no
Yes we can!
We have the power
Thank you for volunteering, Portex.
Hey, Portex.
Oh, God.
Oh, shit.
Oh, thank you so much for volunteering for this reading.
That is awesome.
Hey, Portex, your name is Ponky Poo.
That is fucking amazing.
My name is Ponky Poo.
Your name is Ponky Poo.
I'm so glad that your name is Ponky Poo.
Will you please tell me what the definitions
parentheses S
of syrup is?
Syrup.
Number one.
The stuff
that you put on pancakes
if maple or on ice cream
if chocolate. That's not very dramatic
of a definition. I don't know why you were
worried about this definition.
Yeah, I'm gone, by the way.
Okay.
Wait, no, no, no.
Wait, I see another one.
Why don't you read the next one?
Okay.
Number two.
Yep.
The substance menstruated by female ponies due to their
due to their
candy badge.
Yay!
Candy badge, you guys.
I said it once,
now I can't stop.
Candy badge, candy badge,
candy badge.
Oh, man.
Candy badge.
Little pump.
Candy badge.
Candy badge.
Candy badge.
Candy badge.
Oh, that, okay,
that is there.
Good.
There's more? You got more?
Sorry, uh, one again.
Mm-hmm.
Rainbow Dash's syrup
was eaten by
Pinkie Pie. Great!
And what's, uh, use
definition number two?
Uh.
Yeah, use it in a sentence for number two.
Alright, how about this?
Try this on for size. Rainbow Dash's
syrup was eaten by Pinkie Pie.
Hey, hey,
Ponkypo, I have a question.
Do you have any tags for this definition?
Oh, lord.
Yes, I do.
Hashtag
delicious.
Hashtag period as Jack Chick says it.
Hashtag pony.
Hashtag pony.
Spelled differently.
Hashtag candy match.
Candy match, you guys.
Welp.
Uh-huh.
Oh, and guess what guess what it says aftermath there's a note from whoever submitted the doc says heads up the next few are pretty gross uh yeah so a little
late in the draw there buddy so the next uh the next section here is uh sort of uh this is this
is what i would call a baseline urban dictionary.
I want to skip out most of these
because I find them boring.
But I do want, Boots,
I want you to just take
just the first paragraph there
for the Massachusetts Slurpee.
The Massachusetts Slurpee.
I want to know what a Massachusetts Slurpee is. Sure, yeah, top definition for the Massachusetts Slurpee. I want to know what a Massachusetts Slurpee is.
Sure, yeah, top definition for the Massachusetts Slurpee.
Again, top definition.
Yeah, it's just a standard definition.
During intercourse, right before the girl climaxes,
you whip out a straw and put it in her vagina.
Once the straw is tightly shoved in, you start masturbating.
Point of order!
Tightly shoved in.
Yeah, you know what that means. You shoved in where, start masturbating. Point of order! Tightly shoved in. You know what that means.
Shoved in where, this straw?
The vagina! Tightly!
Hey, you don't know what girls' vaginas are like
here in Boston, man.
Are you imagining this straw I'm imagining?
It's pretty cold.
I'm imagining like a
silly straw. Am I the only one who's thinking about that?
Well, now I am, and now I'm delighted like a silly straw am I the only one who's thinking about that well now I am and now I'm delighted
grim
anyway what's the straw
it's tightly shoved in you start masturbating
until you can perform a money shot
into the straw
like you can
which funnels down into
her vagina
oh this feels good for some reason I'm glad we're you can. What? Which funnels down into her vagina. Oh, this
feels good for some reason.
I'm glad we're doing
this, I guess. And then there's this quote.
Yo, dog, I got a
hole in a plastic straw from McDonald's.
What should I do?
Not that!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My name was BJ Summers.
Let's try out a Massachusetts Slurpee.
Hashtag the Flash TV show sucks.
That's really the most pertinent thing here right now.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Is it because it has that...
Does that happen in the Flash TV show?
No, it doesn't.
That's why it sucks.
You know, there's a lot of episodes in those seasons
in the middle, like, you know,
he's fighting, like, Zoom or the reverse Flash,
and you gotta fill time somehow, you know?
I'm just thinking about this straw,
and...
So you're ejaculating into it.
So you're pressing the urethra up against the straw.
I mean, there's no way that doesn't hurt immensely.
Why would it hurt?
Why would it hurt?
First of all, the straw is big enough to get stuck in her vagina.
Oh, so you're saying it's a novelty straw.
You're in Boston, man.
That's true, I guess.
That's 10 mortgage.
You know, this is really for people whose fetish it is
to turn sex into like a shovelware Wii minigame.
Like, you gotta aim the reticle just right.
Treat your dick like the Wiimote.
I was thinking it was like that old game Mousetrap.
This game is called Wario Beware.
Hashtag PS4.
Thanks, Boots. Alright, alright. Hashtag PS4. Thanks, Boots.
All right, all right.
Hashtag business.
So, Frank West.
That's me.
I know that the top definition, we all know this.
We all know this.
We all know that the top definition of speed bagging is when a man hits the woman's uvula repeatedly with his cock sure yeah and to
use it in a sentence my favorite part of the foreplay is the speed bagging wow that's very
informative that's a good example now i know what it is yeah yeah doing it wrong all this time
hashtag speed hashtag begging yeah so anyway that's the top definition but what's the number two definition of speedbagging? My name is Wheezy
Cletus BBH.
And
speedbagging is for the uninformed
to diddle the clit
repeatedly until orgasm.
The act takes on the
visual of a boxer hitting
the speedbag, also
known as speedbagging the clit.
How big and red
is her clit?
Like a night in China?
And also, how distended is it?
Yeah, pop Rocky.
Don't give up on me.
Don't give up on me.
You say you're eating her out,
you had no orgasm yet?
Are you not speedbagging her?
Well, there's your problem.
Many women need their clit speedbag
to reach orgasm.
Oh my god, this guy's really bad at sex.
What are you talking about? He's the best. Sorry's really bad at sex. What are you talking about?
He's the best.
Sorry, really good at it.
Hashtag clit.
Hashtag eaten out.
Hashtag eat out.
Hashtag masturbating.
Hashtag rub one out.
Hashtag orgasm.
Hashtag flicking the bean.
Hashtag flog the dolphin.
Frank West, think of how many YouTube clicks you could get if you were giving the advice
a lot of women need
their clit speed bagged in order to
reach orgasm.
Well, you'd think so, but I have like a whole vlog
about it and no one's watching.
Okay, alright, alright.
Maybe it's your keywords, I don't know.
I gotta get that SEO on it, man.
I, you know, when I'm visual on it, man.
You know, when I'm visualizing it,
I'm having like a Popeye,
like the guy's tongue coming out and becoming a fist
and speedbagging the clip.
Like an old-timey cartoon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, he's licking her clit
and then he gets tired.
He has a little spinach.
And then he takes out his bottle of Patron.
The music starts playing.
Portex, what do you have?
Metal breakdown.
But also, I have definition number three.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
When a girl is giving head on her knees
while the man stands
and she punches the scrotum repeatedly like a boxer punching a speed bag.
So, like, for a while.
So, for a while.
So, she's...
Now, first of all, how is she avoiding punching her fucking self in the chin?
Like, I'm trying to imagine doing it, and I feel like I'm hitting myself a lot more.
You know what I mean?
That's part of it.
Oh, okay, that's good.
When a guy's getting hit in the testicles,
is he just standing there with his head
kind of like shaking up and down like,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Yeah, and his eyes keep doing these jackpot wheels. Then his neck flies up like a rock-em-sock-em robot.
Cool.
Yeah.
We call him rock-em-cock-em-robot.
So, hi, Laurie.
So last night me and Ryan went to dinner.
Friend, how was it?
Hi, Laurie.
That asshole was staring at the waitress's ass the whole time, but I played it cool,
so when we got home, he thought he was just getting a BJ,
but when I got on my knees, I gave my good old-fashioned speed
baggy.
Yeah, I don't think you came out on top in that story.
I don't really think that...
Hashtag BJ.
Hashtag Ball Buster.
Hashtag Rusty Trombone.
Nope.
Hashtag
Cocksucker. Hashtag Asshole. Hashtag cocksucker.
Hashtag asshole.
Hashtag
play it cool.
Play it cool.
Play it cool.
So cool.
Thanks, Reed Kobayashi.
Riyad Kobayashi.
Nine years ago.
Please, Riyad.ayashi. Nine years ago. Please, Riyad.
The very last definition we have here.
Lou, will you read the definition of the one-eyed angry pirate?
Why, of course.
I'd love to.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Your name's Iron Goober.
Of course it is.
One-eyed angry pirate by Iron Goober. Of course it is. One-Eyed Angry
Pirate by Iron Goober.
Oh, I quit cum!
The one-eyed
angry pirate is when you are
having sex with a woman doggy
style, and you are about
to cum. Then you pull out
and spit on her back so
she thinks you came.
So she turns around to face you,
then you ejaculate in her eye
and kick her in the shin.
Okay, that sounds great.
That really sounds good.
I'm really into that.
Yeah, that sounds cool.
High difficulty maneuver.
Why?
What's high difficulty about it?
You know, it's like rubbing your belly and patting your head.
It's just, you know, you're ejaculating
and you're trying to kick a lady in the shin.
Oh, you're doing it simultaneously?
And she's
also, you know,
she was in doggy style. She has to roll over.
There's just a lot of timing involved.
Anyway.
So she turns around
To face you
Then you ejaculate her eye
And kick her in the shin
She will then
Chase you
Hopping around
On one leg
Seeing out of one eye
This happens
Every single time
Does not matter
What woman you do this to
This is what happens
No no
Every time that you're
Fucking a woman from behind and you go
That's the sound of him coming, of course.
She turns around and goes
That's what it sounds
like when I come.
Lemmy has anamana penis
That was a speed problem there
I was like shit shit shit
Almost there
So anyway she ends up hopping around on one leg
Like a one eyed angry pirate
And I'll use it in a sentence
Dude
So my girlfriend Turned into a one eyeyed angry pirate and i'll use it in a sentence here dude right so my girlfriend turned
into a one-eyed angry pirate again dude too man i can't believe you did that again you're such a
bastard dude i know so she got tricked multiple times by the same guy? You know, one-eyed pirate me once.
There's lore here.
Shame on me.
One-eyed pirate me twice.
Shame on you.
To the plank of ye.
The point is, can't get one-eyed pirated again.
That better be calm.
I'm going to turn around and that better be calm.
Nope.
Oh, she's a part.
This is the only way you can get off.
All right.
Okay.
And as promised, now we have a game show to play here.
So this is Urban Dictionary, the game show.
The rest of you there, you are...
I think this game show has an actual name listed in the document.
Oh, oh, you're right.
With actual punctuation for it.
You're right.
You're right.
So thoughtful.
Once again, a document provided by Ragnarok Movies,
and the name he gave for this game show is
Who Wants to be a Dictionaire?
Who wants to be a dictionary?
Question mark, exclamation mark.
I want to be just grabbing people by the shoulders.
Who wants to be a dictionary?
I want to be.
Yeah, so I'm going to... So F+, I'm going to be giving you some, how this is going to work here.
I'm going to be giving you some Urban Dictionary definitions.
I'm going to give you multiple choice.
It is now up to you to decide on which of those is the correct answer.
And if you get the correct answer, I don't know, I got stickers.
I got stickers.
By the way, you can go to thefpl.us
and get those stickers.
There's also a magnetic poetry set.
So yeah, so there might be some sort of prize available.
I have no idea.
I haven't thought that far.
So here we go.
This is a great game show.
Yeah.
Yeah, so here we go.
I'm going to be giving you a definition,
and you are going to tell me which is the correct word that we're defining here.
So, Frank West, I'm going to start with you here.
Okay, so which of these terms is being defined?
When your buddy gives you a handjob while you watch porn with your hands behind your head kicked back.
His job is to pretend your
dick is his, and he has to
show you his technique
for milking his knuckle babies
on your penis.
We'd play Nintendo for a while, then our boners
would need attention. It wasn't long before Dave
was entranced putting his
blank technique onto my
big polish pecker i sprayed this i sprayed the ceiling there are many tags but one of them is
um so uh which which uh which term is being defined here is that the ultimate finisher, power glove, joysticking, or contra code?
Well, it is pretty bad, so I'm going to have to go with the power glove.
Very good.
$100 for Frank West.
Congratulations.
And now you all move on to the next round.
So for the French toast, John Toast.
All right.
Mr. John Toast, I've got one for you.
I got two definitions for you, okay?
Okay, so
definition number one, noun.
An individual who acquires
and uses another's account
for commercial porn sites without
ever contributing money or returning
the favor. Okay.
Number two,
also a noun. An individual who refuses
to pay for porn, but rather subsists on the seemingly infinite supply of low-res pictures and truncated money shotless clips meant to induce subscription.
Without use of a proper browser, this usually leads to a pornstorm.
What?
What?
There's so many words here that still need their definition.
Leads to a pornstorm.
Pornstorm is ready.
The search of good porn using this method can often result in succumbing to a porn vortex.
I'm sorry, a porn vortex. I'm sorry, a porn vortex.
I saw that episode of Sliders.
Obscure.
This kind of used to be so beautiful and pristine
until the porn vortexes started.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's more,
but I don't need to go in.
So am I defining porn mooch,
spank spooge,
I'm sorry, spank sponge
porn nato
or cash cooker.
Huh.
I think it's
either porn mooch or spank sponge
but I'm tending towards
porn nato because there's so much weird
storm and vortex references.
There was a lot of storm nato
but I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you've let down the team. The correct answer was
Porn Mooch.
I knew it was the answer for the fucking Porn Mooch.
Alright, we're still
at $100 for the team.
There's teams and there's dollars,
but there's prices.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I haven't thought this through.
I'm going to suggest none of you use
the phone-a-friend option.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah no don't
please don't add more mechanics to this game i have not thought it out at all this game show
is actually called i think we're making a deal all right so uh lou fernandez uh me okay the
definition the definition here the garments you wear during a shortage of underwear, comma, when you haven't done laundry in several weeks or months, usually characterized by lack of elasticity, holes, parentheses, usually large and awkwardly located, awkwardly located, stains, and typically are at least five to 10 years old. In some cases, soccer shorts, underwear of unknown origin,
thongs, bathing suit bottoms,
or granny panties
can be considered this term
but do not necessarily meet the above
criteria. Are we talking
about potato panties?
Band-Aid
boxers?
Famine underwear?
Or duct tape diapers?
That's my favorite.
Famine underwear, final answer.
Famine underwear.
Congratulations!
Oh, yeah.
Can we just do quick shout-outs to Rock Boobies
for coming up with the fake
terms?
Do you think those actually
exist in Urban Dictionary? Maybe. I really like potato. Do you think those actually exist in Urban Dictionary?
Maybe.
I really like potato panties.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Those oddly placed stains are usually just like blood, not like poo or pee.
It's just, you know, scabs and whatnot.
Just so you know.
All right, Portex, we've got you.
So now this term is an emotion felt but not fully processed.
Hence, it becomes a stuck emotion.
I'm sorry, we're in the category of prayer bombs.
I should have said that.
Oh, of course.
Yeah, prayer bombs.
So this is an emotion felt but not fully processed.
Hence, it becomes a stuck emotion, trapped energy that was either ignored,
stuffed, or otherwise not felt to fruition
to fully feel the length and
breadth of whatever we personally
needed to experience.
We have purposely ignored the
pain of the emotion of shame
to not feel deep pain
and hurt. Consequently,
our body held onto
that energy, and it became a hindrance
to us. I don't know what I read,
but here are your choices.
Reiki, clouded crystal, homeopath,
or trapped emotion?
As hilarious as all of those are,
I think I'm going to go with trapped emotion.
Trapped emotion, fantastic.
Fantastic, trapped emotion is the correct answer.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Whoever clicked.
Yeah.
The crowd goes wild.
All right.
So, Saboots, got a full round here.
Everyone but John Toast so far has scored.
God damn it.
So let's make sure we humiliate him further.
So here we go.
All right.
So this person
this is a definition of a person
is a noun.
The coolest living human
to transcend not
only the powers of the mind
but also the multi-universal
stratosphere. A real
shot at medicine, psychology,
philosophy, and Reiki.
The end. Is thatiki. The end.
Is that Andy Cater Buxton,
Da Jack,
Da Jack,
Yeah.
I've got Da Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack.
Dr. Nabaz or John Kitchen?
What?
Who is the coolest? I'm going with that one.
I'm going with what?
Good answer.
Good answer.
It's obviously Da Jack.
Oh, it is Da Jack.
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack.
Wow.
Congratulations.
He knew it all along.
Don't fall for it.
I don't...
Okay.
All right.
So we're going to...
We got one more round here.
We got one more round.
We got one more round.
And we're going to move away from the prayer bombs category
and into the self-indulgence category.
All right, so Frank West, you ready? I do like self-indulgence category. All right, so Frank West, you ready?
I do like self-indulgence, yes.
Nice.
Okay, let's see.
So this is the modern form of phallus
commonly worshipped by the Clitoris Nation.
Clitoris Nation represent!
Everything was fine until the Clitoris Nation represent. Everything was fine until the Taurus Nation attacked.
We've got supplements on our website,
lataurusnation.com.
Is that
Richie, Bradwurst,
Chad the Chode,
or Long Duck Dong?
Huh?
I feel like I know.
I got no help for you.
That is bad odds
you have to guess on here.
Chad the Chode?
Chad the Chode is a great guess, but unfortunately
the wrong guess.
As we all know, Richie
is the modern
form of phallus commonly worshipped by the Clotaurus nation.
I'll use it in a sentence.
He was so perfect, but he whipped out his needle dick, so not Richie.
Really?
I mean, it helps, right?
Oh, I mean, I have heard people say that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Urban Dictionary is a fucking useful site.
All right.
Right.
Like when you said it, I heard you say it.
Right, you did hear me say it.
Alright, John Tost.
John Tost was a character from Sixteen Candles.
When there's trouble, you correct.
Let's go.
You win on a game show that is not this one.
Alright, I want to get on the board.
I hope this is an easy one.
Here we go.
Does anyone remember the score?
I do not remember the score at all.
I think one person had $100
and another person had like 10 points.
Everybody else has gotten points but me.
I have half a car.
Okay, good.
Good.
Do you know which half? Is it left?
Is it rear? I won't know until I win.
Is it scattered? For sure.
I'm hoping it's cool
at least. Alright, so John tell us which of these is, first off, very intelligent,
yet she is one hell of a time.
Although this girl comes off very classy,
she is a sex kitten in bed and loves to get down and dirty.
This girl knows how to party and have a good time,
but don't be fooled by her party-esque ways.
She is the kind you can bring home to mama.
This girl is the total package.
Brains, personality, and usually comes with a nice set of boobs and ass.
It's the same set.
Unless I leave them at home.
It's the same set.
If you ever come across this, don't let her go.
You'll never find anyone like her.
Am I talking about Tanya, Stacy, Jenny, or Nicole?
Or Nickel?
Nickel.
What the fuck?
I thought you were going to be talking about Stacy's mom.
What?
It's a really fucking straightforward question.
Are you not good at trivia?
I don't understand.
Oh, my fucking God.
You need more help?
There's got to be a clue in this.
Yeah.
Party-esque ways.
Tanya?
No, of course it wasn't Tanya!
God damn it!
It was obviously Nickel.
Nickel was the correct answer.
Why did you think it was Tanya?
This game show has
become very abusive.
Embarrassing. Hey, Lou.
Uh-oh. Can you give me the name of
a person who has an extremely large
gigantic penis
and can
have sex with multiple girls at the same time?
Well...
Hashtag huge dick. Hashtag sexy.
Hashtag sex. Hashtag porn hashtag sex so born hashtag vagina is he going
all the way through or is he splitting yeah it's like a shish kebab my dude i think it's
dividing like a cthulhu to like assassination classroom oh you think that's it wow wow that's not the reference I expected from you. Way to go.
Am I talking about Eric, Vincent, Alfonso, or Sean?
Man.
Do you wish to ask which one is not capitalized?
I don't know if that helps or not.
I don't think it does.
Vincent is more of an idea than a name.
Yeah. It's just it was... Vincent is more of an idea than a name. Yeah.
It's just a concept of Vincent.
Who is this?
In the example, I'd like to know who this Les person is.
Does that matter to the answer?
Oh, well, you want the sentence, which the sentence is,
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
I wish I was just like blank.
Isn't that right, Les Claypool?
Oh, it's Les Claypool. Okay. I wish I was just like blank. Isn't that right, Les Claypool? Oh, it's Les Claypool.
Okay. I wish I
was just like Sean.
Oh, no.
I'm sorry. You wish you were just like
Vincent. Vincent is
the correct answer. Did you try to
give me the answer by asking me about the Vincent?
Because this is, I'm not sure.
The integrity of this quiz is very
leaguer. No, we're not, no.
This is not well thought.
All right, here we go.
The last section here is called Bad...
Wait, maybe...
Oh, no, no, sorry.
There is one more section after this.
But this section is called Bad Grammar.
Okay.
I don't want to do this one
Alright Frank West
We have a guest question reader
Portex
Please
Please give me the answer to this
Wait
The answer to this?
What is being defined here?
What is being defined here?
Okay
Blank is a good anime.
No, Frank West is going to
read this to you. You are going to tell me
the answer.
He picked me, the resident anime expert.
The definition is kind of long,
but the tags are longer.
Yep.
Blank is a good anime
that is dragged
along a lot, which is why
some people don't like it.
But what makes the show great,
Imho, consists
of Z fighters fighting evils
trying to destroy the
universe.
Or the Z fighters fighting in
world martial arts tournaments
to win zenny.
Usually fights last 5-10 episodes long, some more 15-20 or even more.
There are 291 episodes in blank, and it only has 3 main villains, so choose a math.
three main villains, so choose a map.
Okay. Usually when
fighting, they scream a lot to either
raise their power level
or to transform.
Okay.
What are your options?
So is the answer
Gundam,
Toonami,
Yu Yu Hakusho, or
DBZ?
I think I'm
Hang on, I gotta get psyched up to say the answer
Okay
Transform!
Wow
I think she blinked out of existence
Right there
Just destroyed a recording studio
Just a big crater now
But
Wait, no, there's smoke!
There's something coming out of the smoke!
Impossible!
And this is what it's like to record even further beyond!
It can't be!
So much power!
That's a really good...
Yeah, correct answer was...
The correct answer was DBZ.
The very last category here is called Getting Swole.
Getting Swole.
My wheelhouse.
Boots, you're pretty swole.
Oh, boy, am I.
Lou, I'm going to let you read...
He got muscles on his beard.
Lou, I'm going to let you read this one to him here.
I'm sorry, where are we again?
Would I just paste it in there?
If you'll just read this definition.
When a juice head bro has very little protein powder left
and divides the last bits up into plastic bags
to avoid carrying around the jug,
thus making it look like baggies of cocaine.
Is that the definition of
brocaine, creatine crack,
bro baggies,
or procaine?
So good, all so good.
Can I get a hashtag on this?
Oh yeah, I'll give you
five hashtags. Protein,
hashtag brocaine,
hashtag brocaine, hashtag bro-cane, hashtag
gruntswell, and hashtag
juicehead. Okay, I'm going to go with bro-cane.
Oh, bro-cane is the
incorrect answer. The correct answer was
pro-cane.
Pro-cane.
I tried to cheat and still
fucked you.
That's how dumb this website is. Very good.
Very good.
Frank West. Frank West.
Frank West.
Yes.
What do you call the equivalent of an H-bomb coming from one's ass?
These farts have the ability to linger for minutes and can even spread through multiple rooms. Is that called whey farts or warts, bulking butt leaks, silent but deadly farts or SBD farts or protein farts.
That's a bulking butt leak.
I'm sorry.
That is a protein fart.
I knew it.
Callback.
Well, thank you so much for tuning in to Who Wants to Be a Dictionary?
Sorry, we didn't figure out the format point of
this episode. But F+,
what did we learn from any of this?
I learned that you owe me 100 bucks.
Oh, shit.
You owe me 10 points.
And Luke
gets half a car.
Oh, we got one!
I learned
that fully FedEx you half a car
Just huge amounts of scrap metal
I learned that the websites
Of my junior high and high school
Days didn't go away
They just kind of find their own corner of the internet to fester in
Because I remember
Back in the day it was like Urban Dictionary
It was like it would be passed along
All my friends like hey have you seen this definition of like an, you know, urban sunshine,
you do this to a girl, this to a girl.
And it was of course, you know, nothing that anybody had ever really done, but it was just,
it was for middle school kids to go like, Oh no, that's crazy.
Yeah.
And then it's still here.
So I, I have used it since it started to help me figure out what young people are talking about.
But that's the thing, is that when an answer comes
back, do you trust it? I would never
trust back an answer that came from her.
Oh, no, absolutely. I do.
Well, I haven't run into really stupid
ones. It's usually
like if I hear a dumb term
in one of my son's
favorite rap songs, I'll be like, what the fuck is this?
What are some of your son's favorite rap songs?
I don't know.
It's all bubble core garbage.
Protein part two.
Yeah.
Okay.
Have you heard the newest release from Bulking Buttlings?
Lil Yachty.
Oh, shit.
Is he Lil Yachty?
It's the worst.
Yeah.
Yeah. That sucks. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, shit. Is he little? It's the worst. Yeah. Yeah.
That sucks.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I make fun of it constantly, but I, you know, because it's terrible.
It was just the other day that somebody had to, and it took minutes, but somebody had
to convince me that Little little peep and little
pump are two different people and one of them is dead yeah but they both like the purple did you
i mean did you ever listen to little peep it's the worst uh i mean i listened to a little bit
of it after he died because i was like what is yeah why am i hearing about this person
and then you see them and you're like,
I'm mad that I know that this person existed.
I'll have to learn that they're dead too.
At least that's a comfort.
But they look the same.
Yeah.
Yeah, oh yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and then Little Yachty is just the black version of them.
Little Yachty is completely untalented.
Have you heard of Tekashi69?
No.
Yeah, look up his Instagram.
It's full of... He is a Lil Pump-level idiot.
I know that we're not about what we learned,
but I just wanted to share.
This is one of my favorite sentences I've ever read on Wikipedia.
This is from the Wikipedia page on Little Peep.
Tributes.
Numerous artists in the music industry paid tribute to Little Peep following his death, Alone, Pete Wentz, Marshmello, Zane Lowe, Aesop Nast,
Rich Chigga, Playboy
Carty, Little Uzi
Vert, Bella Thorne,
Sam Smith,
Little Pump, and Mark Ronson.
Dear F+, I cannot
believe you made fun of Little Yobby.
I thought
you were a compassionate and intelligent
podcast, but I will no longer be listening.
Thank you.
So...
I mean, we're a podcast that makes fun of dumb people.
And, like, look at that fucking dude.
Anyway, anything else we learned from this?
I got a little bit of sadness in the middle of this episode
when I tried to
find out more about Tillum dead
on the ground. There is no more to be found.
There's no more. I even Googled.
Yeah, just Google. The only thing you get is this one
post in Urban Dictionary. I want to know
more about this guy. Shit, they got him.
ICP got him. Oh my god, they did.
ICP finally got
Tillum dead on the ground, and now he's dead on the ground.
They took a hatchet to him?
Now he's a dead body man I guess it's down to clown datings
We're over
He was never down to clown
The website as always
T-H-E-F-B-L dot U-S
We have a whole lot of new merch
Some of it's probably not sold out by the time you listen to this.
You should buy it all and
then go to Ball Pit. That's a cool place.
Oh, snap. What is happening?
Bye.
Good.
Our best one yet.
This has been the Rap Minute.
Remember, please don't fumble the bag
Flip and tumble
Hi Lemon Hi, Lemon.
Wait, what?
God, I wish I would have been able to walk with that
because I would love to start an episode with just...
Hi, Lemon.
I mean, it's never too late.
It wouldn't be the stupidest opening we've had.