The F Plus - 283: Nice Guys Finish Last
Episode Date: July 1, 2018Milovana.com is the internet's most comprehensive resource for methods of orgasm denial. From instructional videos to concept discussions, to a genre of video game that is entirely baffling, the ...folks over here are united by a single belief that having an orgasm is a super bad thing to do, and they'll stop it at any costs. This week, The F Plus enters the Edge N' Ride section.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
That's why they call it figgy pudding, right?
You know, nevermind.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
At a point.
No.
Ew.
That's a sleeper joke there.
Jimmy Franks, you're gross.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Relax.
Don't you ask when you want to go to S.
Relax.
Don't you ask when you want to come.
Hi there.
This is the F+.
It's a gross place.
And there's terrible things.
Red with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight, we have Boots Rangier.
So let's cut the bullshit and come to the point why you are here.
Jack Chick. Now take a rubber band
and snap your shaft 30 times.
Stog!
Thank you.
Hope I don't regret this.
Nutshell Gulag.
Congratulations on making it this far.
After completing this step twice, your world
has changed. You've become a cum eater.
This time you shall come on a plate and lick it clean.
Enjoy it.
Oh, boy.
Jimmy Franks.
Watch some porn.
Try not to cum.
And Lemon.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
My stockings were hung on the chair by the bed,
along with my panties all lacy and red.
My nails, they were shiny and filed quite neat.
My lips plump and glossy while tasting of berry.
My body was well moisturized and no longer hairy.
My thigh was marked with a delicate script L
in honor of Miss Linda, who we all love so well.
Linda.
God damn it, Linda.
Linda.
Linda.
If only the night before Christmas had like a meter to well. Linda. God damn it, Linda. Linda. If only
the night before Christmas
had like a meter to it.
Go!
Ha!
Ha!
Hey, F+.
Hi, Lemon.
Hey, do you
folks, do you all like games doesn't yeah fantastic wow this
excited excited response terrific okay what kind of games do you folks like oh
Mike I like to hot glue buttons to my penis and then I like to stand in front
of my TV while it's placing Iron Maiden and then I like to stand in front of my TV while it's playing
Iron Maiden and then I like to
pretend I'm playing the song along
with my penis. As much as
your landlord tells you, Stog,
that's not a game. Yeah, that's not a game.
I have a free country.
Which Iron Maiden album?
Um,
Judas Priest of the Beast.
That's his question
yeah
yeah
well
uh
as an official
cartoon character
of the F plus
as one of
several
uh
well I would
like to
introduce you
to a very
fun site
uh
this only very recently came into the hopper and I was really excited for that to happen.
This is the forums of Milovana.
It is a disgusting looking website in many ways.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
The graphic design is terrible, but so are other things involved here.
And it's nice. Is it like a Russian lady? Yes, the graphic design is terrible, but so are other things involved here.
That sounds nice.
Is it like a Russian lady?
There's probably some Russian ladies on it, yes.
What are all these people doing on my website?
Go away, people.
This was a document provided to us very recently by a tag team duo of Girlkisser and Ameet.
Yay! And I'm just going to read this right here to lead us into what we're looking at.
Milovana.com.
Milovana.com is a website made after the end of OD.com, short for orgasm denial.
One of Milovana's main features is its hosting of web teases,
which are kind of like
Choose Your Own Adventures,
except you don't choose anything,
and it's all just text over porn
telling you not to jack off for a week.
Sounds great.
Yeah, it does.
It does.
Milovana, responsible for a number of sites
or projects, art, I would say.
Artistic projects such as
Hermione the Hex Witch,
Your New Doctor's Office,
Pokemon Go, Public
Humiliation,
Cocksucker,
and that is spelled the San Francisco way with no vowels.
And Two and a Half Inches, and either a meat or girl kisser then helpfully share this website is gross by the way no shit my wall might be. But let's just dig right in here.
Oh, boy, this is a bad website.
It's a bad website.
It's just PHPBB.
It's made all the worse by very many smileys.
But, Boots, we're going to go to the welcome thread.
And your name is Sarah Fox.
Sarah Fox.
Sarah Fox.
Sarah Fox.
Sarah Fox.
Yeah.
You're in Switzerland.
Yes.
All right.
I'm Sarah Fox.
And this is the welcome thread.
Oh, okay.
Hello, new members.
Welcome emoji to Milovana.com.
Okay.
You can use this thread to introduce yourself.
Go ahead.
Don't be shy.
If you prefer to lurk for a while, that's okay too.
But keep in mind that active participation is always more fun.
In any case, I hope you enjoy your time here.
And this site will grow into a cool place for us to hang out and talk about teasing.
Happy posting, Sarah Fox.
Hmm.
And Jimmy Franks, your name is PVH?
Hey, this is...
Hi, all.
I just stumbled over this website by accident.
It is fantastic.
I have been roaming around for a couple of hours this afternoon.
Keep me off my work.
By the way, my work is I jerk off to porn on the Internet all day.
Have been stroking and working my cock hard whilst going through the teases.
At work.
Yeah, at work.
Okay.
I'm the IT guy, so there's no problem.
Yeah, no, fair enough.
You're just one of several then.
And I'm proud to say that I didn't have an orgasm.
Good job, bro.
Yay!
Good job, bro.
If there is anyone who would want to bother and try to control me, please feel free to contact me.
I'd love to.
Peter.
Bother you like you say don't cross this line and then I do?
We should point out, just in case there's somebody listening to this confused, orgasm denial doesn't mean they don't believe orgasms exist.
Their goal is to not come.
Well, I don't believe orgasms exist. Their goal is to almost come. Well, I don't believe orgasms exist.
Their goal is to almost come.
They should always be almost coming.
Jeff Fuel doesn't make me come.
Can you prove that orgasms exist?
Yeah, come over.
Come over what?
Well,
Jack, we're going to go to
the official. I'm looking for a dom sub or I'm looking for a dom dom or sub thread.
And your name is Tease Knight.
I'm just going to leave you in.
My name is Textured Shroom.
Ick.
My catchphrase is taste the shroom.
And I'm from the Midwest.
So this is the official I'm looking for a dom dom or sub thread.
Posting this thread, if you're a dom looking for a sub or a sub looking for a dom,
or if you're a dom, as in domerera, looking for a sub, et cetera.
Try to include as much information as possible.
What are you looking for?
What are your interests?
Limits?
Are you straight, bi, or gay?
Is online okay?
Or are you looking for real-time only?
Are you looking for long-term, or just to be teased once or twice?
I made this thread to cut down on the looking for a dom threads,
and also, hopefully, to get better information out of the people looking.
Hi, I'm Teased Knight.
the people looking.
Hi, I'm Teased Knight.
Hello, I agree that this thread is quite pointless, but then again, I don't lose anything by posting.
I will just show anyone reading who I am, and the off chance a kindred spirit sees this,
I will be blunt.
I had a fiancé of two years, but really we were husband and wife by our own rules.
Did you fight crime?
We knew each other inside and out,
and we fully gave our bodies and souls to each other.
In my case, she also owned my orgasms. This happened organically as we got to know each other
and both realized that we both enjoyed this relationship
she enjoyed having all
my attention on her like a laser
beam and I loved the feeling
of being owned and having my
sex drive fully controlled
and teased by her
feminine nurturing
spirit and found that male
sexual activity is plain
undirected and unfulfilling
when it is not under the control of loving female owner.
Interesting worldview there, buddy.
Happy International Women's Day.
Sadly, my, what I call, my wife committed suicide due to chronic pain a year ago.
Oh man, boner killer.
Whoa.
Okay.
No, go ahead.
Keep reading.
After a year along with
great pain and grief, one thing
I miss is having my orgasms
owned. I find it
very comforting.
In fact, without female ownership, I don't see the point of having an orgasm,
and I only do so when I must.
Oh, I took a mortgage out of my own dick.
There's something I like about, like, I can't come unless somebody tells me not to.
And then I do, and then I'm like, well, that wasn't, that was gross.
I don't know why I did that.
I like the idea that he only does it when he has to.
Like, we need to discern this bomb by beating off on it.
Yeah, this guy thinks about coming the same way I think about shoveling
the sidewalk.
Sir, your balls are at critical mass.
You need to cum in the next hour or
you're gonna die.
If you wish.
Can you tell me not to?
Any kind and
sensuous woman who sees fit
to own me or even
love me in return get a
loyal imaginative
honest
chivalrous and thoughtful
submissive
and as an actual lover
and husband I am deeply loving
accepting and
faithfully devoted
I am open to whatever any lady wishes,
ownership of my orgasms,
a brief flirt, or anything you wish.
Jesus Christ, that's depressing.
You've only posted 14 times on this.
Stock, what do you got?
Hi, my name is Footslave.
Everyone's so bummed out in this forum.
I'm actually
a goth foot slave.
This is why I sound like this.
I am a male sub
23 years old
looking for either
a mistress or master.
I don't have a webcam or a camera and looking to
be a chat slave i will do chat slave yeah that's not i don't know uh how much labor can be done
by a chat slave but okay so, someone tells me to jerk myself off
in chat
and I do it.
That's how it works.
Sure.
I like that they're
bisexual
so they don't have to be like
pretending that the other person
is, you know, something.
Nobody appreciates
text-based sex adventures anymore.
Michelle,
what was your favorite
text-based sex adventure?
Leather Goddesses of Phobos.
Oh, yeah, that is a good one.
Good choice.
I will do
all tasks required
within my limits, and I'm looking
for someone to control me
in all ways possible.
Well, that sounds good, Foot Slave. I can guess
one thing that you're into.
Are you into anything else?
I love feet.
Yeah, I assumed.
I love bondage.
I'm bisexual.
I love anal play.
I love cum eating.
I like stroking.
I like toothpaste.
What?
I like humiliation.
What?
Sir?
I wish there was some context for that.
I'm too depressed to
give you context. I like forced
gay.
I'm okay with I like forced gay. Hard gay is twin brother.
I'm okay with semi-public.
I'm okay with messy.
I'm okay with piss.
Wow, we got a whole F-list situation going on here.
I dislike pain.
I dislike denial.
Wait.
You dislike denial. You're on the orgasm denial
site.
I'm also into general
just don't like general denial.
You know, like being
told that I'm not the right person
for this job.
Getting no matches on Tinder.
So when you say you don't like edging, it means
that you hate that particular form of yard
maintenance.
No, I just don't like any
edges of any kind.
By the way, I dislike edging.
It's the first stage of grief.
I hate cognitive
behavioral therapy.
I will not do it.
I will never do it. I will never do it.
We've been over this before.
It's cock and ball torture.
I hate that too.
I hate cock and ball torture.
But how can you be sure when it's an abbreviation?
What else does it stand for?
I mean, honestly, on this side,
cognitive behavioral therapy might be real.
He hates computer-based trading.
I only want to do VCR repair.
Why do you hate Coast Brothers Trucking so much?
They suck.
They burn so many fossil fuels.
They destroy the environment.
I'm right there with you with candy bear tits, though.
And if you
have more stupid acronyms for CBT,
you can go to ballup.it.
That's B-A-L-L-P dot I-T.
Bye.
Good podcast, guys.
Nutshell,
what do you got there?
What do I got there? Sorry sorry I was looking at the doc
in the doc
beg to Soshi
sounds horrifying
okay
Soshi
beg to Soshi
I'm begging you to Soshi
beg to Soshi
hello I'm a 22 year old woman with a desire to dominate submissive men.
I thought if I took someone from this site and did it over email, it would work.
But it seems like every guy I tried chickened out in a week or less.
I wasn't asking anything too crazy.
Maybe a task here or there and to go a week without an orgasm.
Are all men that weak that they can't follow
any instructions?
I thought every
sub-man would love to have a mistress
without all the worries of real life.
But I need a man who I can have
complete control over.
Not just a little boy who needs to come
every day. If you think you
could be my slave, go ahead,
message me. I'll see if that's true.
My name's Abused underscore
Slave.
Hey, John Pearson.
I am an average-looking, straight
guy, 29 years old.
I am married, and I love my partner
a lot. Regular smiley
face. I am looking to satisfy
my deepest cravings online,
but that's not only what I am here for.
I love meeting new people
and making friends with them.
Three smileys sitting around in chairs
and talking with each other.
I am looking for people
to chat about anything
sex-related. One smiley, and then
another smiley goes over and humps him, and that
is a surprise to the first smiley, the one
being humped. Or not.
The same thing happens except for it's a lot
more gentle with two smileys.
Also, comma,
a smiley who is fishing. Also,
comma, a smiley who is
dressed up like Ollie G.
I am very
patient understanding, regular old
smiley, but sometimes I do lose
my patience and those are the times
you pray that you do not ever know
me. A smiley going, oh
no. But those are
rare. I do not have a
webcam and I am not looking for web
shows or anything like that. I love to keep
pictures to a
capital minimal extent as well.
I really love capital
lingerie. Especially heels. I really love capital lingerie,
especially heels.
I think that a great pair of legs and a worthy set of heels
are a rare combo
and some sort of gift
as many women seem to possess it.
A smiley who's wearing like big,
like millhouse glasses.
I prefer a long relationship
and it may be,
I'm married by the way, I prefer a long relationship, and it may be... I'm married, by the way.
I prefer a long relationship, and it may be chatting or through mails.
I am very far away from most of you, so phone options are out.
A smiley...
Astronaut.
A smiley who is bummed.
I love the color black from latex, heels, or even nail polish.
An embarrassed smiley.
I do have reservations about times of chat.
A smiley who is cosplaying as Terminator.
I really respect the privacy
of anyone who is willing to be friends
with me. So,
if anything is creepy about
me...
Nope. Nothing at all.
No, no. You're good. You're good.
I would like you
to be honest about me with it.
Regular old smiley. See it. Regular old smiley.
See ya.
Regular old smiley, except for this one's holding boogers.
And yes, a smiley going yes.
I do use smileys very often.
Dancing banana.
This is like finding a letter from your long lost grandmother
and opening it and finding out that it's full of glitter.
You just essentially glitter-bombed your own house.
Jimmy Franks?
Yeah.
Your name is Tobias23, and there's a question you want to pose to the forums of Milovan.
Isn't that right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like you Uh, yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah.
It's like you read my mind.
Okay.
Yes.
This is Tobias23.
Hello. Hello.
Is it actually possible for a healthy person to
achieve a somewhat
normal orgasm
with a soft and flaccid penis.
Oh my god.
Okay, let me just... Where'd my phone go?
I'm gonna call Victor. Hang on.
Sir, put those
chives down right now.
Yeah, I know! It's important!
I'll wait for a
minute to get off the phone.
Surgery with weight.
I've done some research on this topic,
and the fact is that it is possible for people with an erectile dysfunction.
This proves...
I'm pretty sure that clips for sale does not constitute research.
Well, how else am I supposed to write it off?
Well, how else am I supposed to write it off?
Listen, I have to put 40 hours on my time sheet or I get fired, okay?
I have a grant.
This proves that an erection is not needed to achieve an orgasm.
Also, I'm talking about an orgasm, not just ejaculation,
which can easily be achieved through a prostate massage.
You've done some science experiments on your dick.
Okay.
Some self-testing and previous knowledge provided me with the insight that my cock doesn't need to be diamond hard to reach the edge.
A semi or medium hard, whatever you may call it, cock was enough to edge and be able to push myself over to an orgasm.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
But I wasn't able to even get near the edge with a complete flaccid cock.
get near the edge with a complete flaccid cock.
Though I have been able to go from flaccid to hard and edging in under a minute with a prior denial and teasing period.
So the question remains, is it possible?
Well, this guy is out here doing dick science for the rest of us.
Well, this guy is out here doing dick science for the rest of us.
Jack Chick, sexual chalk has an answer in the form of a poem, I believe.
Yeah, I was really hoping you would give me this one, actually.
Usually massaging your prostate.
I'm sorry.
No.
What are you massaging? Sorry. You're right? Oh, sorry. You're right.
God, I just saw it.
Usually massaging your
prostrate
for milking
will do an
orgasm even if flacid.
It is also
possible with
electrostimulatium of prostrate.
He thinks that's the word, okay.
No, you gotta lie down and then electrostimulate, yum.
It is possible, but difficult at best, if not a little bit painful.
Now it is capital also possible to have a mental
orgasm that gives you the physical
sensations.
Without actually
physically coming.
Usually a bit of hardness
happens even with this technique, but
it can be done without an
erection.
Erection.
This is not painful but usually
little or no sperm release
speak for yourself I just jam my dick
against the power sock until I electrocute
myself
this is just the way that sexual chalk
types like whether or not
like whether or not it is
possible to have an orgasm without
an erection like I feel like sexual chalk's favorite poet is possible to have an orgasm without an erection, like, I feel like...
Actual Chalk's favorite poet is E.E. Cummings.
Why would you search for it?
Like, I don't know.
Maybe.
Why?
We're going to scroll down a bit here.
Stog, I'd like you to scroll down into this document, once again provided by Girlkisser and Amy.
Thank you again.
Thank you, guys.
And I want you to scroll down to the one post by Odd Calm.
That's no spaces, O-D-D-C-A-L-M.
Do you have it there?
Okay.
Yeah, what's your thread called?
What's your thread called?
What's your thread called?
It's looking really good, isn't it?
Make me drink my piss jerk-off instructions.
Yay!
Yay!
Drink my piss. Drink my piss. Make me Drink my piss.
Drink my piss.
Make me drink my piss.
Make me drink.
What I like is it's, I like an acronym you can pronounce.
So this one comes out as, make me drink my piss joy.
Anyway, I stopped buying piss joy from the co-op.
You can still find it at the grocery outlet my name is odd calm and i have searched for joy videos telling me to drink my own piss
but i have not found any i long for a kind yet stern
dom, preferably female, but
you know, male, okay. Sure.
Telling me how much
they would like me to drink my own
piss.
Uh-huh. Oh, you have
a sample quote. Oh, how delightful.
A sample quote. I do.
I have to get into character. Oh, you're not
only a pervert, you're also a screenwriter.
Yes.
Yes.
Stuck turns around and puts his hands in front of his face.
And I think it would go a little something like this.
Good day, Mr. Kubrick.
Roll back and raise your hips.
Roll back and raise your hips.
Get your penis as close to your mouth as you can.
Oh, that's an erotic sentence.
Now, pee into your mouth.
That's it.
Swallow.
Good. Again. Swallow. Good.
Again.
But I already swallowed.
Do it.
That's a weird episode of Word Jazz, man.
I did not think Ken Nordeen.
Yeah, Ken Nordeen went off in a direction I wasn't expecting.
Man, do I love slam poetry.
I know you want to.
It makes me hot to think about you doing this for me.
Tell me.
Oh, there's more.
Yeah. No, no, you're done.
It's him talking again.
Oh, okay.
No, I think this is actually still the quote,
because there is an end quote.
There's just a double end quote, just like a bonus end quote.
Yeah, this is the bonus material
tell me
all about how wonderful
it is that I would do this
for you without actually
meeting you but following
your desires as expressed
in your video oh so
this is you talking to the video at this
point yeah
maybe you could drink a little of your own piss for me yeah maybe So this is you talking to the video at this point. Yeah.
Maybe you could drink a little of your own piss for me. Yeah, maybe.
Too bad we can't drink each other's piss.
Unless we can drink our own.
And now that we are enjoying each other,
drinking our piss for our mutual enjoyment.
Damn it, Mickey.
Boy, that's some compelling text.
Glued to the screen.
Oh, man.
I mean, I got to say, so, like, Odd Calm here, like, wants to drink his own piss,
but then is like, I think it would be great if there was a video of somebody telling me to drink my own piss.
But it's a video.
It's not an instruction at that point.
It's an instructional video.
So I think that in a lot of prerecord before F Plus recordings. So we've talked about cock hero.
I think that the people in this recording are familiar with the concept of
cock hero,
but I,
I assume that a number of listeners aren't.
So let me explain what cock hero is.
Cock hero.
Please.
Cock hero was,
was a thing that was submitted to us extremely early in the podcast.
Oh yeah.
Before we hit a submission process.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And one of those,
I don't know what we do with this, push it aside aside but it's like it's a never it's a thing that we've kept we keep talking about
because it's such a stupid thing it's a very stupid thing so i'm assuming you're all familiar
with the concept of guitar hero cock hero is a similar approach except for what it is is
it's a compilation porno video.
So just like quick cuts of like just general porn clips with a guitar hero style beat meter at the bottom.
That beat meter is that informing you the rhythm with which you should masturbate, where it gets faster and it gets slower and like longer strokes and shorter
strokes.
And the goal of Cock Hero boots.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The ultimate goal of Cock Hero is to not come.
You got to make it through the whole video without coming.
Then you win.
And the video's like 90 without coming. Then you win.
And the video's like 90 minutes long.
Yeah, yeah.
You've just jerked off to porn for 90 minutes.
Are there leader points?
And then the video ends and you've won.
Is there a hardcore mode?
Probably.
Is there a hardcore permadeath mode?
Yeah, also probably.
So that's what Cock Hero is.
I believe that it originated from Milovana.
There's a bunch of different Cock Hero series.
That is hilarious.
That is wonderful.
But this is called the Cock Hero Suggestion Thread.
So, Boots.
Yeah.
Your name is Bandit224.
Yeah, and I've got a suggestion.
I've got a really big suggestion.
What's your suggestion?
It is something that means a lot to me.
I'm Bandit224, and I have the idea of creating a fuck hero.
Okay.
Screw your stupid cock hero.
Yeah, it's a cock hero variant, but with the user doing it with a sex partner instead of masturbating.
Oh, boy.
Honey, I'm just going to put a video on.
Now we're going to etch for 90 minutes.
Doesn't that sound fun?
Yeah.
Another idea.
That's the end of that idea, apparently.
That's it.
That's it.
What a fucking.
Anyway, another idea I'm thinking of using is having a bonsai gambling scenes.
What?
Is having bonsai gambling scenes for breaks between rounds where the winner gets to jerk
the loser off as quickly as possible until the break ends.
As well as...
It's like a reference to something that I don't know about.
Yeah, possibly.
Yeah, but here I am searching.
Yeah, well, that's a soft version.
So, while it's possibly throwing a hard version,
winner can do anything within limits of loser
to the loser until time runs out, bondage, etc.
Only drawback, though, is that unless I create a program
to run bonsai between rounds the gambling will not be
fresh and be very predictable so hopefully i'll come up with an idea that will be random chance
based without requiring software or anything inconvenient to use while fucking like dice
the hell you say so what the hell you say? So like salty bet but with
flappy cocks?
Yeah.
Oh god.
Spoken like a
loser who's never
thrown two dice
four during sex.
Does Pornhub
allow live
streaming?
It must.
It must.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just
yeah.
I just got to
integrate salty
bet into that.
Mm hmm.
Uh. Anyone want to create a fuck hero or use my Yeah, I just got to integrate SaltyBet into that.
Anyone want to create a fuck hero or use my bonsai idea?
Feel free to.
It's yours. People do.
Nutshell, your name is Milos007, if you'll take that, please.
Good name.
Is it the same thread?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're still talking cock hero.
All right.
Milos007.
I'm sorry.
Right there.
I've got like two tiny little windows open.
Shit.
Yeah, don't look directly at the dog.
Holy shit.
Look at the dog. Holy shit. Look at the dog.
Cock Hero series is probably one of the best creations in porn.
But I have one problem, and it probably only affects me.
It's way too hard for me.
Get good! Get good!
I think I'm a premature ejaculator
since I come within a minute,
so is it possible to create and release
one of the Cock Hero episodes aimed for these people?
A more light version,
basically with more breaks?
Fucking casual.
No, get good!
This is fucking planet Earth.
Something I can play on my iPhone, maybe.
Casual.
This is
the bejeweled of Cock Hero.
Enjoyable.
But not when I
can't even stand a chance
with any of the Cock Hero releases.
I felt like Mr.
Edger's one was a bit easier,
but still not enough
to last that long. Oh, don't go to his neighborhood. Myger's one was a bit easier, but still not enough to last that long.
Oh, don't go to his neighborhood.
My name's Abel Seaman.
Sorry, can you put a beat meter on the bottom of episodes of 227 for me?
That's going to set me off.
My name's Abel Seaman.
Okay, some things I'd like to see less of.
Anti-climax, pun intended, reward or cum rounds
with little or nothing besides one,
not always attractive women talking to the camera.
Also, lack of build up from round to round,
e.g. showing some hardcore one round,
then going back to boring softcore stripping the next.
This can be a useful device I've done sparingly,
but it shouldn't be an ongoing thing.
Difficulty should generally trend up,
not seem nearly random from round to round.
I guess the above is just a special case of this.
Listen, okay, I had to... person I had to tab away from the
escapist forums for like 10 minutes to listen to it rounds or even entire
videos that assume all guys are into big tits. Personally, past a certain point, they're a turn off and even a gross out for me.
This is not a criticism of boobie. As A, at least he clearly labels his videos as this,
i.e. he realizes this is a fetish and not the default. And B, believe it or not,
he's not the worst offender. Oh, boy. Yeah, more.
Cuts so fast you can't even tell what's going on.
More.
Ugly MILFs.
Or rather...
Hmm.
M-M-Mil-Mil-Woods.
Mil-Woods.
Mil-Woods.
See if you can unpack that acronym.
Welcome to the Milifwudes.
Mothers, I would fuck with your dogs.
I believe it's mothers, I wouldn't fuck with your dick.
Oh.
Good one.
I hate.
Nice.
Yeah, no, I really hate that I parsed that.
Why?
With the unfathomably vast array of gorgeous porn stars out there, it is apparently considered mandatory to include at least one woman in every CH video who's a butterface at best.
Sometimes not even that.
I guess I'll quit here.
If this shakes someone out of a rut.
Out of a rut.
A cock hero editor who just can't find his muse anymore.
I summered in Paris.
I still can't
find that spark.
If not,
at least I've got these thoughts off my chest
after yet
another cock hero
release that
actually
didn't turn out to be all
that bad on the whole, but suffered
from some clear filler rounds that served to annoy rather than arouse.
So, to be clear, it was pretty great.
I mean, I really did like it, actually.
It was the best.
I masturbated to porn for 90 minutes.
It was great.
Hooray!
Okay.
What?
What?
Does everyone...
Hey, everyone want to go for a beer after this recording? What? What? Does everyone Hey Everyone wanna go
For a beer
After this recording?
Like
I mean
I don't have
Cash on me
Do they have
Hand sanitizer there?
I'll get you
Well
I usually just
Lick my hands
Just let that do it
Only if you
Don't come
You are not allowed
To come while we are
Out getting a beer Okay I can promise you don't come. You are not allowed to come while we are out getting a beer.
Okay, I can promise I won't come, but I can't promise I won't try.
What?
What is going on?
You know what, guys?
I get the impression like you don't like me.
Okay, you know what?
You know, we'd love for you to join us.
You just have to keep coming all the time. You just have to keep coming all the time.
You just have to keep coming all the time.
Oh, I see.
I don't want him to come, guys.
I don't want him to come.
This is going to prevent him from coming and joining us.
It's great.
Guys, I really, really like this guy.
I like his unabashed enthusiasm.
Oh, thanks, Jimmy Frank's yeah it's a
safe place and I don't want to discourage anybody who's following their
bliss cool can I sleep on your couch tonight nope
Jimmy Frank's yeah you have some questions which is fine which is fine. I sure do. Which is fine because Boots Rain Gear has answers for you.
Good.
Okay, good.
Yeah.
So this is about something called Stroker Race.
The 1983 film with Burt Reynolds and Lonnie Anderson?
Well, no, because this is Stroker Race 3.
So it's a sequel.
Very possibly might be.
Direct video with Denise.
There's a broken image link
That'll help
It might also just be another cock hero video
Well here I go
Clicking on stroke erase 3 dot torrent
That sounds like a great idea
Make sure to install that
Without checking anything else
Yeah click the exe that's in there
Question
Whoa this is some
joke right nope your eyes aren't playing
tricks on you this is stroker ace 3 the
ch style video tease that was originally
supposed to launch in November last year
jerk star jerk star jerk star, jerk star.
Question.
No, wait, really?
This is some joke, right?
Again, it's not a joke.
Your eyes do not deceive you. This is Stroker Ace 3.
Question.
Wow, okay.
What took you so long?
There are various excuses.
He just keeps popping his collar over and over again.
But they all share the same thing.
Real life stuffs.
Big grinning, smiling for no reason.
If you want specifics, new job plus girlfriend moving in,
plus close relatives passing away,
plus starting a new business,
equals really fucking crazy business these past few months.
Smile and nod.
I thought he was describing stages of the game.
No, this is why
it took him so long.
The guy from the first part of the...
Just had this
really hot, smart,
intelligent, emotionally stable
girlfriend moving in.
She was like, I really want to fuck you all the time.
And he was like, well, I understand, but I do need to keep working on Stroker Ace 3.
Well, then what happens next?
Oh, a close relative passes away.
I'm having trouble getting past level three, the close relatives passing away.
How do I not come on their coffins?
Oh, dear. Question. How do I not come on their coffins? Oh, dear.
Question.
Oh, I see.
It's all about you and not about our needs for video teases, huh?
Wow.
You wouldn't believe how frequently this question is asked.
Yes, it is.
I'm sorry I'm selfish in this case.
Smirking face.
Question. Question.
Okay, so you finally put in a stroke beat meter in then, right?
You had all this time and everything?
No.
What?
Still no stroke beat meter.
Boo!
Well, what is this even then?
Boo!
That's the fucking guitar track to tell you how fast to jerk off.
Question.
WTF, man.
Why don't you put a stroke beat meter already?
All the other college humor video creators are doing it.
Oh, Adam has to ruin this too.
Answer.
I've explained it before in previous entries, but I'll do it again since it's been a while.
One, I use a solid but very simple video editing program. While I can add a stroke beat meter, it would take way too much time and resources.
And I'm a bit lazy for that, laughing smiley.
Also, two, stylistic and design differences.
Why adding a stroke beater stroke beat meter allows CH videos creators lots of freedom and changing up beat patterns very quickly and fluently.
I personally find that paying way too much attention watching the stroke beat meter takes away from the player's attention from the actual hot action on screen.
I mean, disagree. I know what turns me on.
And it's little York Peppermint Patty sliding down multicolored tracks.
TM.
This guy can't watch a foreign film because the closed captions just make him blow a load immediately.
Question.
So how are we supposed to know how to stroke then?
Answer.
Like previous Stroke Ace series videos, which is a completely different series from my Stroker Ace series.
from my Stroke Race series,
like previous Stroke Race videos,
there will be both stroke text instructions as well as a clear audio stroke beat pattern.
Stroke text.
You know what?
I'm back to being tempted by this torrent.
I'm fucking serious about this.
Stroke text is also colored to convey intensity.
Green is easy. Yellow is intensity. Green is easy.
Yellow is medium.
Red is hard.
Question.
All right.
Okay.
So besides hot babes and good tunes, you haven't changed much from previous Stroker A series?
Answer.
One new wrinkle is how the reward system is done.
If you've played a previous side project of mine, Stroker Edge Babes, then you have an idea of how it will work.
Listen, you can't play this until you've played all the previous ones. You just won't get the nuances of it. Yeah, like the fucking DLC?
Don't play this until you've played Stro the previous ones. You just won't get the nuances of it. Yeah, like the fucking DLC. Don't play this until you've played
Stroker Ace Revengeance.
Question.
Yeah, but let's say I haven't
because I haven't.
Answer. Jerk.
Prove your fealty to Stroker Ace.
Tongueface.
Well then, as Stroker Ace 3 begins,
there's a warm-up round featuring eight of my personal favorite adult hotties.
As you warm up to these warm-up girls, pay special attention to which one is your favorite.
If you are lucky enough to get through the whole challenge leading up to the reward round,
leading up to the reward round all eight of the warm-up girls will then now be featured be the featured eight reward girls I have to pay but I only have one
favorite so like there's just seven garbage ones at that point once the
reward round begins the rule is that you must continue following the stroke
instructions until your favorite warm-up slash reward girl shows up.
Then you release for that happy ending.
Oh, wow.
So it's basically jerking off on the honor system.
No, it's like Hogan's Alley.
It's like flipping through the TV channels until you find an unscrambled porn channel.
Looking for Tracy Sue.
Oh, man.
Somebody make that and then put the meter at the bottom of it.
Scrambled porn with a meter?
That would be for the person that comes to you soon.
Up above in the document.
Question.
Sounds like a lot of work.
It is.
Partly why it took me so long to make it.
Smirky face.
That actually does sound like a lot of work, the thing that you described.
Question.
Anything else I should know?
Answer.
I think that's it for now.
I'm not allowed near schools.
If you have any other questions, ask them later and I'll add further Q&As that are important slash relevant enough to be added to the front.
You know, as important and relevant as those ones we had here were.
Awesome.
Oh, man.
So I actually found Stroker Ace 3 on Pornhub.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Okay.
I'd like to read you guys some of the instructions from it.
Oh, good.
Please.
Please do.
So it basically just the video progresses,
and there's a girl wearing clothes,
and there's instructions that kind of poke up.
So we have edge and ride.
When you see the edge and ride
indicator, you must stroke yourself
as intensely as you can.
Simple, faster, harder, etc.
To the point where you're on
the edge of climaxing.
It's tricky!
When you hit that edge, stroke yourself
just enough
to stay in the edge zone
for the rest of the edge and ride duration,
which can last for 30 to 60 seconds.
So it's like edging for dummies, isn't it?
Well, all edging is edging for dummies.
Anything else?
Coming any time during an edge and ride section
or any time during the main
challenge is an instant lose so don't lose so don't lose uh yeah unfortunately i have to like
watch the video for the yeah that's that's fine that's fine uh nutshell here's a hint beat off
don't come uh nutshell uh brewster has a uh a long uh response he has a long review of uh of stroker ace three
uh we don't need to take that entire review but he has one specific criticism
uh of the thing that jack chick was talking about all right my downfall was during the
edge and ride started at one hour 34. These things really are that long.
Yep.
Like a scheduled time in my day.
I was like, well, I'm kind of.
Like a Ghostbuster shooting a ray from a proton pack at the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
I thought I was taming the looming orgasm deep in my balls, eager for release through the tip of my cock.
And that's the mental image.
eager for release through the tip of my cock.
And that's the mental image.
But subconsciously, I knew I didn't stand a chance when the girl with the Star Wars tattoo
had an edge and right for you.
Oh, no.
The coast seemed clear after that.
Then you tricked me and kept the edge going.
Never in my life have I come that close to spilling over from topping off and surfing the lip of the edge wave.
Wow.
That's three metaphors in a row.
Thank you.
It's all terrible.
Great.
Right as it ended and I went hands free, excess cum drizzled and oozed out.
I didn't worry or do the stupid thing by frantically stroking fast to get a proper orgasm. Absolutely not.
Hooray!
Oh. V is erupted. My hair, my face, my chest comes with casualties of the hour-long satisfaction ride Strutter A3
took me on.
Oh, yeah.
Nicole! Or as she's called in this case,
Amelia Argan.
I'll get you next time during your reward round.
I'll get you next time, Gadget.
Next time, Gadget.
Next time. Gadget. Next time, Gadget. Next time.
Yikes.
Man, this is quite the document.
It certainly is.
Holy shit.
I'm enjoying this.
This is the kind of document that happens when Nutshell says, I'm down for whatever.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Well, I'm going to skip past this thing here,
which is New Cock Hero Project hyphen World's Hardest Cock Hero.
It sounds good, and definitely the people that are reviewing this instance of cock hero
agree.
Whoa, this is really hard.
And then Rara Jaja says, all of that being said, cock hero high on weed should be prescribed for physical therapy.
Physical therapy?
I mean, by guys that want to lose
their medical license, I suppose.
Oh, you twisted
your ankle. I got a solution for you.
Check, check.
Hi.
There's something that Mr. Boots Reingear wants to hear,
and, uh, it's a post by Gormur.
Uh, post by Gormur, G-O-R-M-U-R.
And, uh, what do you want to talk about there?
Uh, so I want to talk about my limp dick.
Serious.
Okay, I believe you.
Hi, guys.
I've been a Milovana creeper for at least 10 years now.
I love this site and everything on here.
I've done step-by-step countless web teases and learned more about myself through those than probably most other things in my life.
But slowly, over the past five years or so, my penis is starting to go limp in the middle of action.
I even
had him go limp while going nuts
on a girl. Gaping emoji.
Oh, that kind of...
Okay.
That's an open face emoji
I would call that.
Jack Chick would disagree with you there.
You know I
I'm just feeling the inspiration from
Jack Chick what do you see in that picture
Is this a Rorschach smiley
For you
Not fun stuff I can tell you
I keep being horny and can actually come
But he is totally limp
Oh come on
We need him in the other thread.
Was wondering
if this could possibly be a side effect of
edging so much.
If someone
else has had similar issues and they found
a way to stay hard.
Looking anticipatory
for a cock about to ram into my face
emoji.
He's really reading a ram into my face emoji. Yeah, that's accurate.
He's really reading a lot into these emojis.
Dick?
What's dick?
And Gormer later in the thread continues.
I'm 37, but yeah, thanks guys for your inputs.
Maybe I talked to my doc about this.
This is starting to be a bit annoying.
Sideways face emoji.
Weird part is
it's sometimes just fine
everything working
as it should.
Then it can just be near
instantly go limp
and nothing can get it hard again.
Not even rubber bands are...
Whoa!
What?
That's your go-to, is it?
No!
No wonder it isn't working!
No idea why that's not working.
Don't do that.
There's some other text there, but fuck it.
You can do that if you want it to fall off.
Yeah, no, I've been, I've been, yeah.
Actually, speaking of that Stog
Your name is
PunishMe47
Yeah, PunishMe4719
And what's your
Thread called?
Oh, man, PunishMe47
Oh, God
What's your thread called?
Oh, here it is.
I found it.
Oh, hey, buddy.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
You should go back to sleep.
Yeah, don't bring Freddy over here.
Please go back to sleep.
It's not Freddy.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
It's a Tommy.
Yeah.
Tommy, go back to sleep.
We're doing a podcast. is not this is not cat content that's right okay anyway my name is punish me 4719 and my thread title is called
control the amount of time my balls will be tied for.
The first commenter can chose how many elastic bands I will use to tie my balls up with. That seems like a really bad idea all around.
No, it's good.
Go on.
The amount of comments can determine the amount of minutes I will keep them this way.
One comment equals one minute.
Please try not to castrate me, smiley face.
I tried to do an emoji.
You're trying that on your own.
I tried to do an emoji, but I fucked that up.
Sorry.
Sorry, not sorry.
Jimmy Franks?
Is it turvy?
Yeah.
Here's a question.
Is it only one reply per person,
or can people post as much as they want?
Think carefully about your answer.
Well, I mean, you can reply as much as you'd like, I guess.
So then people just go, one, two, three, four, five, six.
Post, post, bump, bump.
Another, and another, another for good luck.
Maybe just one more.
And then punish me.
You weigh in.
Well, according to the post count, it's 38 minutes so far.
I think this may be the last few days with testicles.
Jesus Christ.
How many rubber bands does it take to get my testicles to fall off?
I'm snowy-noying.
I thought it was seconds, but either way, it's one more now.
So, the first time I lasted about five minutes,
20 bands is really difficult.
Yeah, I would assume.
Truthfully, though, I'm exited to try it again
and am determined to succeed for you guys
well yeah don't let us down
oh my god otherwise we'll think less of you
oh man uh yeah so uh this uh document like so many documents provided by a meat and uh
girl kisser uh divided into sections,
started out with general chat, then there was the cock hero section.
The section we were just in was called, wait a second, this sucks.
No way.
And the next section is called do-it-yourself projects or icky how.
Yay.
We've all been there.
Nutshell.
Yeah.
I think you get a choice out of this.
So which of these particular threads would you like to take?
Would you like to read the Electric Predictament Mouthget?
Yeah, that's the one I want.
I read down and I want that one.
So you don't want the DIY cock box.
No.
Nor do you want learn how to eat cum, cum eating instructions for beginners.
I feel like we might have covered that before in the podcast.
Yeah, I think it's episode 256.
I guess, I mean, I don't want to diminish other people's life accomplishments,
but learn how to eat cum seems pretty straightforward.
Anyway, you wanted to take the electric predicament mouth gag.
Yep.
What wine goes good with cum?
I'm very excited about this.
Hi, I'm Hawkeye1234.
Hi there.
I love M.A.S.H.
Hi there.
I have started a project I call the Electric Predicament Mouth Gag.
Naming things is not my strongest suit.
But I am stuck at a specific point, design-wise.
The gag will act as a normal open-mouth gag,
but instead of the mouth being forceful held
Open like normal gag
The idea is that the subject will have the gag
Fast end
To their mouth
Inside is a flexible tube or something like it
Where you can connect a hose or funnel
From the outside
Where you can add the fluid of the mistress's choice
Oh dear
What is it?
Electric? Electric?
Electric and liquid just sounds like a bad thing to combine.
It's liquid cooled.
Basically, you're liquid cooling your mistress's PC.
Great. Yep. Okay. All right.
Yay. Yay. More text.
The mistress could be paying down the gag or have someone else add some other fluid,
like gasoline.
The subject then has to swallow, like a good sub.
Wonderful.
But hey.
Yep.
Yep.
But hey, if they don't want to swallow, they are free to clench shut their mouth on the
gag to stop the flow for a while.
Oh, how nice. That's good.
But the project has not been called electric for fun because the subject is wired up with e-stim on their cock balls and ass.
Isn't that a thing in Fallout?
Yeah.
out. Yeah.
And by biting down on the tube, they will activate a swith that
turns on the electrics turned
to a not dangors
but pretty painful level.
Holy shit. Holy shit.
That they
can't endure.
Okay, now I'm actually into this idea.
That they can't endure for
a very long time. Of course, this
can be adjusted if you just want to be playful with them.
Uh-uh, no.
Ah!
Hello, Hawkeye1234.
I want to play a game.
And you probably guessed it now.
The only way to stop the shocks are to stop biting down on the tube,
which will then turn off the eSIM,
but then they will have to swallow the fluid again.
So is it a
predicament set up? They can choose not
to swallow, but they will
only be able to stop the flow for a short
period before they have to open their
mouth again, smiley face.
Oh no.
My problem is that I have not found
my problem of one of many problems is that I have not found... My problem, one of many problems,
is that I have not found a reliable way
to make this switch thing work yet.
My best bet so far is a micro switch
that will detect motion very easy
if I can just find the right way to hook something up.
But so far, the only place where there is some motion
I can detect is inside the mouth
when you bite down on a tube.
That motion does not
transfer
to the outside of a plastic
tube. And sticking a micro
switch inside the mouth is something
I would like to avoid.
Smiley face. I would love to see the
patent filing for this thing. Perhaps someone has more creativity
than me on this problem.
Liver cum, make your choice.
These Saw movies just get worse
and worse.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Correct.
Wow.
Sorry, Toe Pooper, I love you, but they're horrible.
Yeah, and I do just want to direct people to my Etsy page if they're interested in DIY cock boxes.
Oh, okay.
Can you get, like, various styles on them?
Yeah.
Can you get, like, my favorite bands and stuff?
Yeah, if you want.
No, they're talking about using your actual cock as the measuring device while cutting the wood and nailing it.
You know, measure twice, cut once, if you know what I mean.
Well, it is six inches.
I suppose we can use this for measurement.
All right.
So that was the do-it-yourself projects, or icky how.
We're going to be moving into the art projects in this document.
And, well, oh, boy.
Oh.
Oh, no.
I don't think I want that first one.
That is.
That is.
Oh.
Oh.
That is a bummer.
Okay.
All right.
Instead.
We're not going to do the nightmares of Dr. Phil.
We are not going to do the 1001 nightmares of Dr. Phil.
Absolutely not.
No.
I was like, hey, that's funny.
But we are going to take a little bit of sex magic gathering.
Oh, God. Female government Christmas carol.
I call dibs on those.
People talk a lot of shit about the red hot chili peppers,
but they were really good live during the Sex Magic the Gathering tour.
Yeah, so this is Sex Magic the Gathering, and I am Salamando.
Oh, sex mages, sex mages and other.
Okay, anyway, I understand and wish to continue blogspot.com.
This started as a porn parody of Magic the Gathering.
But as I was working on it, it sort of turned into a semi-legit, semi, semi, semi, semi,
semi-legit card game concept.
Pretty much just done in a lark, but you might get a kick of it.
So look it through.
And then, you know, like.
Jesus fucking Christ.
You know, I feel like I don't actually want to do that.
So just boots.
There's one review of Salamando's Sex Magic the Gathering.
Yeah, I'm idiolect.
Hey, buddy.
Yeah.
Okay.
First, funny concept.
I play MTG.
I'm getting a kick out of this.
Fantastic.
Wonderful.
Thank you for coming to our focus group.
Second, nice creativity. kick out of this. Fantastic. Wonderful. Thank you for coming to our focus group.
Second,
nice creativity.
However,
knowing how the game MTG is,
I don't feel
you correctly
capture the essence
of the colors
with the nature
of the cards.
Okay.
Like the black card,
Stroke It, Stroker,
feels like it should be a red card.
Oh, interesting.
The green card, Drippy, has the nature of a black card effect.
And the black card, Measure Up, seems better as a blue card.
Were you distracted by something when you were making this game?
It's really interesting because our early tests showed that the blue card measure up was very effective.
This is just a couple of thoughts.
But again, very creative.
Well, thank you very much for coming, and stop by Linda on your way out.
She'll have your check for you.
All right, guys, so obviously it is Christmas caroling time, right?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I knew that in the Milovana forums we would eventually run into Christmas carols.
Is there anything special about these Christmas carols?
They're female-dominant Christmas carols.
Yay!
Okay.
So if you know our episode release cadence, you know that we're recording this in December, clearly.
Yep.
We sure are. Absolutely. Okay. You can smell the pumpkin spice this in December, clearly. Yep, we sure are. Absolutely.
I mean, you can smell the pumpkin
spice in the mistletoe. Yeah, exactly.
So, as part of a two-novel
set that I'm finishing, I have
Female Dominant Sorority Christmas Party.
Here for your enjoyment, here are several characters
modified to be sung by the superior
sisters of the sorority.
Fantastic. Okay, good. One quick
author's note, a fig can be anything inserted into an asshole.
Yeah!
You don't have to tell me, brother.
Not sure that's how that word works, but okay.
I thought at Christmas time, if you stuck a clove into an asshole, you'd create a nice
little smell in the apartment.
We wish you a subby Christmas. We wish you a subby Christmas. We wish you a subby Christmas
We wish you a subby Christmas
We wish you a subby Christmas
And a pervy new year
Oh show us a figgy asshole
Oh show us a figgy asshole
Oh show us a figgy asshole
And then over now
And you won't come until we say so
And you won't come until we say so And you won't come until we say so. And you won't come until we say so. And you won't
come until we say so. So
better obey.
We wish you a subby Christmas.
We wish you a subby Christmas.
We wish you a subby
Christmas.
And a
pervy
new year.
That was a good Happy New Year.
That was a good... Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Apologize in advance to whoever has to edit that together.
Oh, that's you.
Is that who you're apologizing to?
You know that's you.
Do you have any more carols? The rebel devils
grant pain
unto the
sobly cat.
Oh, that's pretty good, actually.
Yeah, really good.
I like it.
Le pèl d'un
sans-pussy
in a search for the nerdy Sans mercy In our search
For the nerdy
Joyful
All ye stiff
Pricks rise
Until we say
The pre-con
Flies
Before she
Devils proclaim
Man Was made to serve a rave
Hark the ribald devils grant
Pain unto the soppy cow
Beautiful.
Yeah.
It's really good.
Started a bit high there, didn't you, Jack Shook?
Oh, my God.
I can hold this.
I got it.
I got it.
No problem.
Yeah, that worked great.
Singing right at my break when I haven't warmed up at all.
It's really fun.
Do you have one more?
I do have one more.
Excellent.
Let me lubricate with some beer here.
Oh, don't talk about lubricating and butt stuff.
Or do, actually.
Okay.
I'm going to try not to cum while you sing this next one.
All right, well, this is...
We're all going to do that.
I mean, this is an edge and ride section, so...
Here's a challenge for all of the listeners of the F Plus podcast.
ride section. Here's a challenge for all the listeners of the
F Plus podcast.
Do not come
during Jack Shook's singing
of the song.
I dare you.
Too late, I already came. What are you gonna do now?
God damn it. Stog.
No rest for Sabi,
gentlemen, we wish you much dismay
For we were born superiors, excel in every way
To lead you all to woman's power when you would go astray
Oh, whippings of control and joy
Control and joy
Oh, whippings of control and joy. Control and joy. Oh, we're beings of control and joy.
Wow.
Wow.
I've got the spirit.
I've got the spirit, and I want to eject it out of my body.
Don't do that.
I feel like I was just visited by three ghosts.
So who gets to rap at this point?
I mean, I feel like Stog is the only one who's really...
You're right.
Stog actually is the most qualified to rap.
So Stog, your name is all too true.
Yeah, it's true.
And as we all know, we are in the Milovana Forum, you know, the place
for cock hero and orgasm
denial, and that's why
you've written this
anti-Trump rap for us.
Yeah.
I'm hashtag resisting.
Yeah, absolutely. Can you start by taking
this anti-Trump rap? I really want to hear it.
Oh yeah, sure.
I just wanted to post this somewhere. I know
there are a few who read every post, so
you know, this is for you.
An anti-Trump
rap poem.
Becauseu I had to.
Not entirely sure.
Here we go. Bring the fat beats.
I stand against
the chosen who have frozen
the dream of hope.
No, he is the one who grope.
Why do he be all dope?
What's that, a black man who can?
No!
What?
We cannot take nor give a girl a break.
We must investigate nothing that is a smoke screen.
Boots, you're hearing rap right now.
Oh.
That's what you're hearing rap. I don't know if you recognize it when you hear it, but that's rap music that you're hearing rap right now. Oh. That's what you're hearing rap.
All right.
I don't know if you recognize it when you hear it, but that's rap music that you're hearing.
It's like New Jack Swing.
It's a magical world of rap.
So we can rig this machine.
Hey!
Russia hacks and we crack.
And bend over back.
Red loving nut.
Redneck loving KKK got the noose.
Yep.
And running loose.
And running loose.
I'm running loose.
Hashtag you black, you're fucked. I believe that's pronounced hashtag.
Hashtag, hashtag.
Pound sign, hashtag.
Hashtag, hashtag, you're black, you're effed.
Pound sign, hashtag.
Spanish rapists, they call you now.
What?
Muslims put on their trains to Dow Chow.
Oops, that's Doc Howe,
and you managed to accidentally rhyme something?
Jesus weeps, evangelist feet, as white fear of woman sweeps.
Can't take it back now, we all got the golden cow.
Bow down and worship that bull.
Mighty loving fool fool.
Your cat drink the Kool-Aid
cause the water pest sprayed.
Or Kool-Fidge sludge.
The faithful won't budge.
Like C-O-L-A-I-D-E.
How do you speak English
and fuck up the spelling of Kool-Aid?
Kool-Aid!
It's the generic Kool-Aid. Oh, that's right. of cool because reason is dissing Trump the God slash golden son Oh Millie I'm Millie I'm Millie I'm Millie I'm Millie I'm Millie I'm Millie
I'm a Millie I'm Millie I call you out demon one. All who hate or let it dominate.
That name again is Mr. Plow.
Killing Earth and Sky.
Natives people cry.
Surely we can know right and wrong.
Fake facts knock that song.
Yeah! I'm just believing.
God is the reason.
Don't take his name in vain with your racist stain.
Funky Colbert Dina.
All right, everybody.
You don't want to sing along.
If you want to be peririe for the rest of your life
Well that was unexpected
That it's turned into
F plus six
For two
Why was that unexpected?
I feel like
I feel like we should have
Telegraphed that
What did we learn
From any of this?
People do weird shit that are junk.
Something to learn.
Not coming is very complicated.
Yeah.
People are so bored with just regular edging
that they have to turn it into a video game like Guitar Hero.
regular edging that they have to turn,
uh,
turn it into a video game like guitar hero.
So there's,
there's a lot of,
I mean, there's a lot of,
uh,
people seeking advice where they're like,
they're like,
Hey,
I have done awful things to my genitals.
And my, uh, done awful things to my genitals and my
my
concept of sex is completely
broken and
I've somehow
coincidentally developed erectile
dysfunction. Can any
of the rest of you guys who are also doing
this shit help me out with this problem?
Yeah, why don't you just come?
You know Lemon, I disagree disagree actually i think that they they don't have a skewed opinion of sex because i don't
think they've ever had sex even the married ones i'm pretty sure well that doesn't mean that they
don't have a skewed opinion of sex though they have a skewed view opinion of masturbation
okay i mean yes i uh i mean it's just like yeah it's like it's like it's like in
in all things i mean in all things like that very concept that that uh that the internet and of
course like gamer culture can do of just like i mean i can i can find everything well that i mean
that for sure i mean at the point that you fucking put stroke meters into porn the next thing is we
need the chivos yeah well again pornhub has them um but like but like i understand i understand
the general vague concept of like no i'll take'll take my time with this. Might be a little bit more interesting or whatever.
Like, to take that and be like,
yeah, but no, but actually,
like, I'm gonna do that
and make it fucking unpleasant.
Somebody else needs to make me do it.
Oh, yeah.
That's the thing about it.
I can only cum like three times a week,
so I better make this last.
Like, this has to be foisted down upon me.
Do we know where the website name comes from?
No.
I don't know that, no.
Because it seems really incongruous.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, apparently, you know.
Go right ahead.
If they actually had like a od.com, I mean, that's you know, go right ahead. If they if they actually had like a O.D. dot com.
I mean, that's a pretty good domain name.
So I'm not surprised that didn't get snatched up for them.
But.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
OK.
So if you happen to be on Milovana dot com because you hate yourself at the top, you'll see a thing that says home web teases urge.
Don't click on Urge.
Just don't do that.
Clicking on it right now.
Okay, first of all, I have to accept the unsafe certificate.
Oh, no.
Never mind.
Nope.
Uh-uh.
Okay, I'm not looking, so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep.
Once I got the SSL error, I was like, no.
There's not a lot of entries in the table of contents on here,
but one of them is abnormal bleeding.
Oh, hell yeah.
Hey, when you go to the home of Milovana.com,
not forum, but just Milovana.com,
what's your random topic?
Because mine is icy hot.
Mine is candles.
So real quick, guys.
I actually found the about page.
So Milavana is a free online community
dedicated to the safe, sane, and consensual exploration
of sexual technique and technology
in fun and interactive ways.
Yeah, yeah.
Safe, sane, and fun, for sure.
And if you're
looking for someplace safe, sane, and fun
to buy merch, you can do it at
thefpl.us
The Magnetic Poetry
Kit sold very, very well.
So by the time this episode comes up
there might be some available
I'm not sure but I'm going through them pretty fast
but regardless there will be
stickers and
definitely tattoos because those have sold
like shit
so if you want them to
be cheaper I'll make them cheaper
get them out of my house
my kids put F plus tattoos on small children If you want them to be cheaper, I'll make them cheaper. Get them out of my house.
My kids.
Put F plus tattoos on small children.
And that's all we got.
Ball pit, bye.
Ball pit, bye.
Bye. Bye.
The welcome thread. I'm clipping. Hold on. Let me adjust my levels here. and joy! That's fine. Okay, yeah.
Okay, bigger.
Bigger, all right.
It's after you've done a test recording and listened to it.
I want to hear energy.
I want to hear more energy and some confidence on this one.
And go.
Happier and with your mouth open.
Yeah, yeah.