The F Plus - 295: A Role In The Sack
Episode Date: January 23, 2019Sex! Sure, it's a thing that people pretend to enjoy, but when it comes down to it, it turns out very few people seem to like the actual physical act. As in all things, it's up to The Internet to... this into a fulfilling experience, and the community over at Blue Moon Roleplaying Forums is really trying their best in this regard. This week, The F Plus can't get a job in Venus City.
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Hey guys, it's me, Jake the Bisexual. I'm back from the bathroom. Did anyone look at the frog girl's breasts yet?
Yeah, but just once.
Well, how can you resist? Today you see a game with added reality.
You treat me like a dog, get me down on my knees.
We call it Master and Servant.
We call it Master and Servant. Oh, hi there.
This is the F Plus Podcast.
It's a terrible place.
There's terrible things, but we're going to read them with enthusiasm somehow.
In the room tonight we have Achilleselys. Why would I ever want you
to carry like a princess, Jan?
Baka! Baka, baka, baka!
Oh, God. Jesus.
Frank West? Derek plays attack
4 plus 12. Taylor plays attack
defense 4 plus 12. Ties.
Smut wins ties. Your
friend on the internet, his name is Adam Bozarth.
For as long as he could remember, it had always been Ozzy's dream to run a monster girl farm out in the countryside.
She's been our intern for over two years, and I think it's going real well.
This is the intern.
The cockies, lactation, toys, using foods.
And lemon.
Derek plays attack four, plus four 12 holy shit yeah yeah yeah derrick's
my fucking around my god derrick means it that's why he takes 25 pp I just choked on the erotica. Oh god, it was so good.
Hey, F+.
Hey, Lemon.
Hi, Lemon.
Hello. Have you all been achieving lately?
Achieving?
Have you been looking at my gamer store?
Because it just keeps going up.
I have.
I actually subscribe to your gamer score.
I get notifications every hour.
It's doing very well.
Congratulations, by the way.
Thank you.
One day I'll get B-Boy 360
Well, you know, I mean, it's good to have aspirations
If nothing else
How about the rest of you, achieving?
Oh, I have some XP in the oven
Should be ready soon
Oh dear, do you know who the father is?
I
No
As usual, I don't
Fair enough, I understand Well, there's, I don't. Fair enough. I understand.
I understand.
Well, there's, I would like to help you gain some more XP.
This was a document given to us very recently by a combination of Shell Game and Girlkisser420.
So this is a site called Blue Moon Roleplaying.
Um, I'll just describe it here, um, taken directly from the source.
Um, Blue Moon Roleplaying is a large and active forum dedicated to organizing and facilitating erotic roleplays between people online.
Huh? Huh? Huh?
Sure.
Yeah.
So like Craigslist?
Well, like Craigslistlist but with a difference right because
you know like like in your regular craigs like craigslist hookups that you're familiar with
right you you you you you call the guy over you know you fuck him you murder him you put him under
the floorboards but there's not but you don't play dungeons and dragons in the middle of it and that's a problem that blue moon role-playing is going to correct wait i'm supposed to have
sex with them after i play dungeons and dragons with them you really should be yes yes yes so
so what's happening here is that uh the uh the patrons of blue moon role-playing uh are um Blue Moon Roleplaying are playing erotic roleplaying games, right?
It's very exciting.
They're going on campaigns.
I have a question.
Is the community good?
Do you mean lawful good?
Chaotic good?
I'm not really sure.
I just mean, is the community a good one?
Well, you know what?
Let's find out.
Let's find out.
Because we're going to start here in the role play requests.
Role play requests is broken into categories by females or males or non-binaries.
And Adam, Mighty Woman is here.
Can you tell us a little bit about Mighty Woman?
Hi there.
I am the divine Mighty Woman, the most popular star on Earth.
And it's amazing, super heroine.
I have millions of fans around the world that worship me.
I have more Instagram followers than all the presidents and all the Hollywood stars and artists combined.
Then there are a lot that mock me and make fun of me because of my impossible amazing body.
My enormous tits are literally the size of big beach balls.
And they're the most talked about thing since, like, ever.
Whoa, that's incredible.
Congratulations, Maddy Woman.
Thank you.
When I got my fake plastic lips, that got pretty close.
I wear thin, high-heeled, I don't know, I wear thin, high-heeled boots and a skin-tight,
wet-look, shiny spandex catsuit in white.
I have long patina-slash-golden-blonde hair,
super-sexy blue eyes, and of course,
the big, fake, quote-unquote, duck lips.
A super-fit physique,
and a perfect orangy tan all over my gorgeous body.
It's an orangutan tan.
I have toned feminine muscles that flex beautifully at my every movement.
A slim waist and amazing hips.
I always use a lot of colorful pink and a light blue colored makeup.
My butt beats all the Jim Bimbo butts up there.
That's right.
That's right.
I just walk into the gym.
Just boom, boom, boom.
Butt beats.
I work out six days a week and have a very focused butt and leg routine.
I am probably the most beautiful and sexy being in the entire universe,
and I can't stop getting turned on immensely by my own amazing body.
Anyway, I'm so
ready to take you on, evil
villainesses out there.
What the fuck do you need me for at this point?
Like, you seem like the total
package. I'm not really sure what I can bring to the
equation.
Futa edition.
All of the above.
With the following edition. I am a very large feminine blonde bimbo futa edition all of the above with the following edition i am a very large feminine blonde bimbo
futa with a beautiful medium-sized cock and a pair of huge orange orange size balls that hang low
and always make me super horny
oh man me super horny. Oh, man.
So your orange-sized balls always make you super horny? Yes.
Oh, these are so
disproportionate! Paired with my
medium-sized cock.
Your medium-sized cock.
It's a baby bear cock.
Oh, it's about to get dark, by the way.
Keep reading.
Oh, good.
Mighty Woman is ultra masochistic, but would never admit it.
Neither does she believe anyone would ever want to hurt such a super sexy blood bombshell
super heroine anyway.
So, Adam, you're reading in a stage whisper because you're in a parentheses, but just know
that your parentheses actually never ends.
At some point you're going to get
double parentheses too, so I want to know
Oh shit! Oh no!
I think it's supposed to
I think the parenthetical ends at the end of this
page. Not that I
read a little too much.
Does it? Or is the rest of this document
in a parenthetical?
I guess that's a philosophical quandary we can't really answer.
Well, anyway, she likes to get kind of slutty.
And so Mighty Woman says,
Here's an intro that I love to use for any role play.
Okay.
I have decided to take the day off today and have turned off my phone.
Oh, yeah. After all, I've got to take care
of number one from time to time
too. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, contact me and I'll
miss your text message. I'm peeing.
You just, the roleplay
is you text me
to have sex and I just, I don't respond.
I'm
so happy to have the entire day to myself.
I grab my pink cover smartphone and take a few photos of me pouting my big, thick duck lips to the max.
What are you doing with your day off?
And doing my classic bimbo face, crossing my eyes and everything.
The lights start pouring in.
In the thousands.
You know, I don't use Instagram.
Is that a thing on Instagram?
Are you crossing your eyes?
Not on my Instagram.
Hey, you know, I don't really use erotic roleplay.
Is it a thing in erotic roleplay to just do it alone with no one else?
Again, she doesn't need you.
She's the total package.
That's auto-erotic roleplay.
Again, she doesn't need you.
She's the total package.
Frank, that's autoerotic role play.
Bullet point number two.
Oh, good.
This gorgeous body could need some rest and pleasure.
Hi, hi.
Oh, my.
I'm going to take so good care of myself and my amazing body.
I'm so sexy. Mmm. I moan as I slowly sway my gorgeous hips
from one side to the
other, gawking at myself in the
mirror and being extremely turned
on by my own spectacular body.
I just got into
one of my many
shiny, skin-tight, spandex,
white catsuits.
Always a struggle. Oh, that's even better whenandex, white catsuits. Always a struggle.
Oh, that's even better when you described it the second time.
Always a struggle to get this amazing body in them, even though my suits are so flexible and stretchy.
Especially my gigantic balls, super sensitive, low-hanging balls, and my world-renowned beach-ball-sized tits.
Always takes minutes to finally press in there.
Tee hee.
So this guy's just turned on by spheres in general.
Yes.
Orange and white spheres.
I couldn't put it into words.
The joy I'm feeling in this very moment,
I light up a nice big joint
and start to puff on it. I'm turned off now.
Put on some music
and I keep dancing and gawking at myself
in the mirror as I get higher.
As if I wasn't happy enough
or horny enough, the soothing
high ramps it up even further.
I start humming along to the
song. It's some Nicki Minaj
song. So question here. Are we some Nicki Minaj song. So, question here.
Are we to assume this person,
this author, has never had sex
or never had drugs or both?
Well, I think we can safely assume both, actually.
Does cyber sex count as sex?
Does cyber drugs count as drugs?
I love the idea that somebody would have, like, describe what everyone else would say.
How did you do your day off?
Nothing.
As, like, I did the most erotic thing.
I took a selfie, put on some clothes, and smoked a joint.
Yeah!
I looked at myself.
Bullet point number
three. Hi, hi, gosh.
I'm gonna feel so
much pleasure today.
I lie down on my bed in my beautiful
catsuit and his six-inch
white heels. I get another joint.
Do you have any other outfits?
I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
You're dressing like Rusty Venture these days.
I don't know.
It feels good on my skin.
I get another joint and I get even higher.
Oh, yeah.
There we go.
I get even hornier when I'm high.
I'm so high and horny right now.
I could faint.
Lol.
I start stroking my perfectly toned, shiny legs as I look in the mirror.
And I see the absolute sexiest being in the entire universe.
Me.
I moan out loud at the sight of my amazing catsuit-clad body and my super-tan blonde face in the mirror.
My blonde face.
I moan again.
She bleaches her face.
I pout my giant lips and I keep stroking
my legs as I move all my way
up to my spectacular catsuit
clad balls. Oh gosh.
I'm gonna be here all
day and all night.
I look, quote,
I look deep into my eyes
in the mirror and say, quote, I look deep into my eyes in the mirror and say, quote...
Is this what metafiction is?
Sorry, let me...
Quote, I look deep into my eyes in the mirror and say, dash, quote, I love you, mighty woman.
In the meantime, you, the evil villainess, sneaks into my mansion.
Yeet!
Yeah.
Oh, right, someone else.
I watched the second season of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt again.
P.S. I prefer to keep all my RP on Discord chat, by the way.
Best regards, Mighty Woman.
Uh-oh, we've been found.
Thanks, Mighty Woman.
And then,
so looking at this thread here, this is
of course, we got forums, role-playing
requests, role-playing requests by non-binaries.
Mighty Woman is here. So that's
your first post there, Adam.
What were the other posts
in your thread?
I'll have to look at the thread.
You're going to have to read this.
Oh.
On May 8th.
Bump!
May 16th.
Bump!
May 26th.
Bump!
June 11th. Bump! June 11th.
Bump!
Heart.
June 24th.
Bump!
Heart.
July 4th, Independence Day.
Bump!
With two exclamation points, she's doing a bunch of A-B testing to try to figure out what's gonna Work July 12th July
20th July 27th
August 6th August 15th
August 23rd
August 30th
September 8th
September 17th September 26th
October 3rd October
15th she's getting closer
October 15th So yeah getting getting closer. October 22nd.
So, yeah, getting all the way to 47.
At the time of this recording, 47 posts.
Ending in December 28th, 2018, which is pretty close to the day that we're recording.
So, you know, one day, I'm sure, Mighty Woman, your villainess will find you.
But we're going gonna move on.
We're gonna move on
to another
roleplay request here.
This is in forums, roleplaying requests,
system roleplay requests
slash interest checks.
And, hey, intern,
I think it's probably time
for you to read something here.
So this is an erotic single player campaign, which is great.
5E Dungeons and Dragons.
So this is Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition, which obviously matters.
It really does, Lemon.
I'm a dungeon master with experience in real life and online.
Because I cannot find a person willing to run an ERPG for my own characters,
I instead offer such services to suitable partners so that I may live vicariously through them.
I'm essentially the DM that I want to see in other people, which means everything that I would want is in turn offered to a player
character that meets my needs.
You're a changemaker.
I normally
mill about on F list,
but I'm putting this post
here to broaden my net.
If you are willing to DM a campaign
for this underlined character,
then I'd love to hear from you.
But really...
Oh, and that's a link to F-List.
No such character has existed.
You gotta be a DC-18 to get out of that net, too.
So...
But really, I don't ever expect to get what I truly crave.
Why would anything good ever happen?
So instead, I hope to bring happiness to somebody else.
That person has to be damn good, though.
DMing is a lot of hard work, and it's a soul-crushing waste of time if your player doesn't show up to play.
Oh, I'm so horny right now.
Or it turns out
to be boring and
uninspired.
Sure, I may put a heavy emphasis
on smut and fetish
play, but that doesn't mean
we can't be elaborate and entertaining
with our own erotic prose.
Standards!
I'm a fan.
I'm a fan I'm a fan
of dicks
big tits
excessive cum
harems
sex magic
and other things
check out the profile link above for more
Aaron is essentially
what I want to see in a player character
powerful and then you switch colors again for some reason powerful Aaron is essentially what I want to see in a player character powerful
powerful
confident
attractive to most people
and absolutely
the hero
of their own story
you know after Mighty Woman
to hear the phrase attractive to most
people it's like shoot for the stars. You're the most attractive
being in the universe.
The manager of Orange Julius.
Rather than
becoming a product of their environment,
they make their environment
a product of them.
Oh wow, that's really actualized. Well done. a product of them. Oh, wow.
That's really actualized.
Well done.
More than likely,
I will use a modified form
of the Forgotten Realms campaign setting
for the sake of common familiarity
and convenience.
This is the biggest red flag so far.
You are free to message me here,
but I would prefer to use the F-chat on F-list.
I'm sure, yeah.
I don't care what sort of shape your F-list profile is in, so long as you're online to talk about the campaign and what you want to see in it.
I should note that I have little in the way of patience for bad writing and poor grammar.
He said poorly.
If it's a chore to read your
posts, then I do not wish to
RP with you.
And I'll let you know
as much as soon as
I see evidence of
your own mediocrity.
Whoa!
Wow! Why won't anyone
repeat with me?
Only Evanescence understands me.
I will only give the best
and I will only accept the best.
I don't want to come off as arrogant,
but I'm tired of wasting time
with players who don't match
the standards I've set for myself.
My name's Tenshi. Good evening, Bowen. I've set for myself. My name's Tenchi.
Good evening, Bowen.
I really like your style.
Any chance we could talk here on Skype or on Discord instead?
I've never used F-List.
And if you need me to,
I'll need a week to wrap up prior commitments
before I can set that up.
What's happening?
I'm gonna have to take off work before we like spank it across the internet and stuff
just a couple loose ends it's nothing particularly major but certainly some advanced knowledge
frazier crane
honestly um uh frank what do you have uh other fandoms or the grinch x disney holiday rp
inspired by the grinch 2018 oh good oh good what happens oh I'm Felicia Florence.
What happens when the Grinch's Christmas tale turns into a Disney fairy tale?
One princess invades his universe and accidentally interferes with his story.
Will she be able to make his tiny heart grow three sizes?
And in the bedroom, will the sight of his... Heart?
In the bedroom, will the sight of his in the bedroom
will the sight of his domestic god
oh sorry domestic goddess make his
cock grow five sizes
okay alright as long as you got there
you know there's gonna be
a joke somewhere in there
about his cock growing five sizes that night
you just made it
let me explain the joke folks the night he first slept with the woman he loves.
Let me explain the joke, folks.
This will be a romantic, comedic adventure into the true meaning of
beauty being more than skin deep.
Two people who were
never meant to meet happen upon
one another and change each other
for the better.
Okay, alright.
Okay, we're really not taking
on any new literary clients.
Thank you, though.
Thank you so much. Thank you so much for your time.
Oh, that's fine. This is also a screenplay.
Do you know anybody? Except it is a
screenplay. The fact that you don't know
that literary encompasses that also
means you have to go.
Oh, there's nothing literary about this.
Please get out of the ICM office now.
Thank you so much.
But it took me so long to break in.
Okay, then you can have a coffee.
Oh, that's cool.
They have one of the machines where you can like have a coffee. Oh, that's cool. They have one of the machines
where you can, like, pick a latte.
And that's how Fuck Grinch got made.
Writing credit, the guy who wouldn't leave.
Keep going.
But in the darkness looms a presence that has been growing
since the dawn of Snow White,
an evil specter
that has been hiding in the darkness
and now continues to spread,
stealing magic from
Disney Princess Fairy Tales.
That seeks to eviscerate the happy
endings of all fairy tale beings and permanently eradicate all hope of happiness and light
until everyone is devoured by the bloodthirsty jaws of inescapable death
okay okay you have you you know the grinch stuff wasn't really working, but the fairy princess stuff and then the inescapable death stuff really, you know, made it cogent.
I'm really digging it.
What else do you got?
I like this guy when he gets his coffee in him.
It's testing really well.
How can you form this into sort of a cinematic universe?
We need to span seven movies with this
but she won't let that happen the princess is a warrior maiden who knows magic she's not
overpowered but is able to pick up spells quick enough and i'll uh whoa
unultimately love is the ultimate key
to locking this creature in suspended
animation.
Frank, just one question.
What's escapable death?
Like,
there's like a
weight falling. Like a false bottom?
Look,
all I know is I wouldn't touch this script
with a 39 and a half foot pole
I clicked
Sorry
I clicked the link through
To go to this thing
And there's one little section
Of this fandom's galore
Link that came through
The Marvelous Miss Maisel
I watched the series two times over And I would just love to play Miriam link that came through. The Marvelous Miss Maisel.
I watched the series two times over and I would
just love to play Miriam. I have a
big thing for Lenny Bruce.
What?
And would love to chat with him.
I know Lenny has a wife, but let's
be honest, a relationship between the
two divorcees who are
as hilarious as these two would be
perfect.
They're a match made in heaven.
I mean, you know we're all thinking it, you know.
I want to see an erotic version of Thank You, Masked Man.
Oh, Masked Singer?
Thank You, Masked Man.
Oh, that one.
Okay, so Achilles Heeles. Yes. I have a choice for you. Oh, that one. Okay, so Achilles Heeles.
Yes. I have a choice for you.
Oh, good.
These are both from the miscellaneous section.
Again, we're just looking at some more coffee requests.
Would you like to read Cindy's Baby Journey?
Or Adventures and Dragon and monster and lust
hmm well you know i'm gonna go all in i'm doing cindy's baby journey all right fantastic
so uh your name is cindy harrison uh your avatar is somebody being fucked by a fuck machine.
So buckle in to your fuck machine.
Right.
It's the only way to do it safely.
Buckle up.
Hi.
I'm Cindy Harrison.
My location is in your most sexually depraved fantasies.
Really?
I don't remember seeing you in there, no.
Oh.
No.
I was in the background.
Oh, Cindy.
Yeah.
You were just one of the background actors in a non-speaking role.
Hi all, I'm Cindy Harrison.
For those of you who haven't put up with me as an RP partner, not sure why I'm writing this.
Maybe because pregnancy is the most exciting, most exhausting,
most beautiful thing that can ever happen to a woman.
Well, some of those...
Oh, boy. Oh, no.
I made a good choice.
Well, some of those I haven't yet experienced.
I'm an owned submissive, and my mistress is the wonderful Miss Tina.
We've been together for over three years and got married last year.
Am I still a newlywed?
No.
Okay.
Nope.
You sure? You're not getting on the game show.
No, positive.
Absolutely positive. Absolutely positive.
No way.
All right.
Well, anyway, we talked about having a baby, and we, well, she decided that I was to be
the one to become pregnant.
We went to a well-known fertility clinic, and I was artificially...
A well-known fertility clinic.
It was right next to the well-known food place.
I was artificially inseminated.
Next thing I knew, I was pregnant.
OMG, what happened to me?
You went to a fertility clinic.
Oh.
The best possible outcome from that.
Well... a fertility clinic. The best possible outcome from that. Well, the hormones.
Yeah, baby brain.
Miss Tina
has toned down our BDSM
sex play. Well,
not a whole lot, but she's too
worried about hurting our baby, so
she doesn't use dildos in my vagina and concentrates on anal play more.
Okay.
So Miss Tina's familiar with how the female body works, I'm sure, right?
As is Cindy.
We're both real, live women, and we understand our bodies very well, Lemon.
Yeah, sure.
Can't put a dildo when there's a baby in there.
You saw me in your sexually depraved fantasies.
You know, I do remember you were the one asking all the questions.
Still using clamps on my nipples and labia, however.
Ouchie.
Recently, she surprised me, told me to go to a friend's house for a few
hours
but she's not there
go
she went to
Bed Bath & Beyond
oh yeah
you know what I mean
hashtag endorsements
this is a promoted tweet
that's right this week the F plus is brought to you by Bed Bath & Beyond Hashtag endorsements. This is a promoted tweet.
That's right.
This week, the F-Plus is brought to you by Bed, Bath & Beyond.
Once again, Bed, Bath & Beyond supports all of our content.
Bed, Bath & Beyond, of course, not a law firm.
Not a law firm. But they told us to read all of this stuff.
Bed, Bath & Beyond for your best nipple and labia clips.
Don't forget those coupons.
and labia clips.
Don't forget those coupons.
Well, you know, she went to Bed Bath & Beyond
and a couple other places
and set up an entire nursery
in the guest room.
Complete with a Jenny Lind crib
A Jenny Lind crib!
Oh yeah! Dressing table
even a rocking chair.
She also bought an electric and manual breast pump.
Oh, how cute.
Oh, yeah.
Erotic baby shower RP.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Even though she, colon S, semicolon, told me she's looking forward to milking me.
OMG, I'm so excited.
I felt the baby move today.
I'm about two weeks past my first trimester.
We're going to be mommies.
Yay.
And some comments.
They're just heart heartwarming these comments
these comments that we're not reading are just heartwarming well it's just great to see an
entire community come together you know and uh and here's here's a place where we can yeah
what's to say i got a totally real urge for a wasabi and peanut butter sandwich
uh and here's a place where we can all come together and that place is venus city urge for a wasabi and peanut butter sandwich. Damn it.
And here's a place where we can all come together,
and that place is Venus City.
That's right.
Anyone can join in Venus City.
We're now moving out of the request for role play into the actual role play themselves.
We're in forums, role play, open role play,
Venus City.
Anyone can join.
My name is Psychobilly Knight.
It's Psychobilly Knight. It's Psychobilly Knight.
Yeah, so
yeah, Venus City,
hidden in a small island off the coast
of California, is Venus City.
You know, somewhere
in that tiny, tiny
little state.
A city where sex is the norm.
The law of the city states that all citizens...
What?
Norm!
The law of the city states that all citizens and tourists must either be nude or wear very little clothing.
A city where cum can be purchased in vending machines along with breast milk
and pussy juice. Wait, you know,
for fertility.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fertility
and pussy juice.
You gotta mix your breast milk
with something.
Does it
come in like the Voss water
bottles? Fred.
A city where giving one blowjob
or cunnilingus and considered
a hello and
surprise penetration is
considered a big hug. One more time.
A city where giving one
a blowjob or cunnilingus and
considered a hello and surprise
penetration is considered a big hug.
There. No, thank you.
A city where all the restrooms are unisex
and each is fitted with a glory hole
and dildos sold on street vendors
on top of the street vendors.
Even large-scale orgies are held in public parks
and waiters will jack off to cream your coffee.
No, thank you.
I just can't take the calories
really, so.
And waitresses will do the same with their breasts.
Ah, yes, Venus City is
a sex addict's paradise.
A city that allows incest and bestiality.
Some odd sex jobs.
Strike three, you're out.
So...
You just kind of threw that one in there.
Come on.
Come on.
You know, if you leave, your visa's not going to be any good anymore.
Think of how low our sales tax is.
Milkmaids, they usually work as-
Cheap as pussy juice this side of the West Coast.
If you can find cheaper pussy juice outside of the city, we will match that price.
Well, when you come back, there'll always be a surprise penetration waiting for you.
Milkmaids usually work as waitresses in cafes and vendors.
They're usually milfs and or expecting and will lactate into coffees or allow customers to stick on their breasts. There's also
milk butlers, which are the same as milkmaids.
They're just males. Pleasers is
a unisex job in which the pleasers strap
themselves on devices for a certain amount of time
and let random people fuck them.
And of course, there are people who
pretty much sell sex for money.
How?
Also, they have
machines for milk and cum.
Why do they need butlers and things?
Oh, it's better when it's fresh.
Yeah, it's artisan.
What fantasies will come true?
Okay, so people, there are a couple rules.
Rule number one, as per the rules and regs of the site, no little kids.
Rule number two, this is mainly just a smut roleplay with little plot, but feel free to come up with your own stories and such.
Meh, meh, meh.
Uh, rule number three, what happened to number three?
Who knows?
That's funny.
Rule number four, feel free to do any kink you have.
Just make sure the other person's cool with it.
Um, uh, rule, these are not funny at all.
I don't like any of these rules.
Fuck you. Fuck your these rules, fuck you
Fuck your stupid rules
You unfunny prick
So, but Adam
I'd like to hear something from Jake Duvalk
He is a citizen of Venus City
And tell me about Jake, won't you?
My name's Jake Duvalk
Hi Jake
You sound sexy
I'm a male
And I'm a graphics designer
And part time milk butler
By trade
And I'm bisexual
What's a graphics designer?
Um
Well
Based on his
Based on his fucking photo It means that he's the guy who makes all the photo bucket pictures.
Oh, okay.
I make pictures for the photo bucket.
So my personality is shy and hesitant but sweet.
When he first came here, he was shy and introverted.
When he first came here, he was shy and introverted, but this time as a milk butler helped him open up a bit.
Though he does still get a bit flustered when someone tries to make advances on him.
How? giving and receiving book cookies, natations, toys,
using foods like whipped cream, and
phantoms. In my quick bio,
I'm a young necko from
Indiana.
Oh, good. Oh, good.
He got a job offering
at a graphics imaging company
in Venus City and arrived
having no idea about the citizens' traditions, quote-unquote. So you moved to Orgy City for work.
Having no idea.
Venus City.
Orgy City's down the coast.
No one's better at graphics than Orgy City.
When he arrived, however, he refused to take his clothes
off, feeling self-conscious.
But to help him with it,
his boss got him
a part-time job as a milk
butler at a local cafe.
He still is a bit
shy, though, but he's grown
accustomed to the day-to-day sex
crisis of the city.
God, I don't know. I'm just feeling a little shy in this place.
That's cool.
Grab that guy's cock and milk all his cum out of it.
Thanks for getting me an extra job, boss.
Sure is nice getting to meet people.
Here's an extra tidbit about me.
I got a small kitten named Leo.
That's it.
Oh, that was...
Oh, that was so wrong.
I loved your Indiana accent.
Stinks!
I can't even tell.
Oh, man.
I want to hear from one more citizen from Venus City.
Achilles, will you tell me about Candira?
Or, sorry, what Candira posted here.
Oh, yes.
Hello.
I'm Sophia Renard.
I'm 21 years old, and I'm a female.
I'm 21 years old and I'm a female
my occupation is
a milkmaid
a part time pleaser
and a novice advertising intern
what's with these
fucking day jobs
look man ever since I started
putting all the cum in machines
everybody's gotta work a second non-sex job here.
It's true, yeah.
Cum and pays the bills, but graphics design is my passion.
I'm a cum sprinkler and a garbage man.
What is a novice intern?
That was how you started.
Well, you know how they don't pay the normal interns?
They take money from me.
My personality is unkind, fun-loving, and very sociable.
She is a...
What?
She is a creative woman that, when she wants to be,
hence her current
internship and is firmly grounded in
what she does or doesn't want so some
other lady is like that I guess my kinks
oral both giving and receiving lactation
breast play public scenes or in this
case private ones.
So, okay.
So all scenes.
The script is flipped in Venus City, bro.
I'm all about scenes.
Using foods, dress up,
wearing clothes picked by someone else,
and more.
Appearance is not found.
Yay!
A quick bio.
Sophie worked hard to get to college and discover what she really wanted to do with her life.
Though her job as a milkman has become a bit addicting.
She works full-time to keep up payments on everything, And her work as a pleaser gives her extra cash.
Extras.
Loves cats and is allergic to most real flowers.
Okay, wait.
Time out.
All right.
It said that milkmaids are either milfs or lactating.
So is Sophia pregnant?
Did she just have a kid?
Did she have a kid when she was 20?
What is going on?
I need answers.
It really could be more than
one of those things. I'm a pregnant
21-year-old MILF.
Yeah.
I mean, the other one's from Indiana.
That makes sense.
Also, Candira's from Minnesota, Lemon.
Oh, okay.
Excellent. So we're going to
scroll down to another role play it's
really good it's really sexy it's it's it's three of the sexiest or you know the sexiest
phrase i can think of in the english language and that that phrase is video game bar hello
exactly exactly uh so this is uh this is actual uh superduper sexy roleplay.
In this case, we're going to have four characters.
So, intern, I would like you to take the starring role of Jake Bisexual.
What a fucking hero.
God, that's a good wrestling name.
Yeah, so, intern, you're going to be Jake Bisexual.
Frank, you'll take Utsuho.
I'll go for Mike the Blood Wolf, and Adam, take Zeth, please.
All right, so we're all telling a story in a round, seems like, right?
Mm-hmm.
This is sort of the row, row, row your boat of erotic role play.
Got it, got it.
So, hi, I'm Jake Bisexual.
That is my name.
And the story I'm about to begin goes as follows.
Link was on his way back from another long quest and needed to sleep for the night.
After roaming the woods for a while,
he came across a strange little place
that looked like a pub of some sort.
He went in and a bartender ran up.
Quote,
Hello, sir.
Welcome.
We just opened.
Not too much business.
Please sit down. after a while the bar begins to fill
with a strange assortment of characters but link is too tired to make sense of it and continues
drinking okay take it away it's you oh it's all i got. Continues. Three other girls walk into each taking a seat at the table.
They walk into each other?
They just thunk.
Three girls walk into a bar.
They say, ouch, huh?
Yeah, good.
One of the three spoke up.
So, oh, goddammit.
Well.
Oh, god!
So a schoolgirl, a fairy, and a headless woman walk into a bar.
The school, the girl wearing the school uniform spoke up.
You do know I'm not a headless woman, it only flies off.
The redhead woman corrected her friend as the bar table came to their table.
Don't tell, show.
as the bar tamer came to their table.
Don't tell, show.
Hey, can you bring me and my friends three glasses of mojito?
Thank.
Three glasses of the same mojito?
One mojito, three glasses.
Mojito, thank.
The pink-haired woman with fairy wings
asked her as her schoolgirl friend
also asked for a glass of water.
Okay, it's youho, thank you.
Yeah, good yes ending.
Okay, Jake Bisexual back in the game.
Okay, here it goes.
Between all the strange characters, Link couldn't help but notice the fairy.
He had seen many before on his travels, but never one quite like this.
He walked over to the group's table.
Um, excuse me?
My name's Mike the Blood Wolf.
Silently watching everyone was a female Greninja
in only a swimsuit.
In only a swimsuit.
While a male Lucario was sitting at the bar watching all the people go by and
waiting to see if anyone approach him okay bye
just as the bartender brought their drinks q noticed the person that had spoken up to her
you need something she took a moment to check out, and he was quite the cutie, even in the Peter Pan
getup. You trying
hit on us hot girls?
Well, I don't mind
at all.
Q took a glitz at her table.
Having a boner for Legend of Zelda
is such a confusing fixation.
Yeah, you know, Link,
the character known for drinking a lot and
hanging out in bars.
So sexy! And hitting on girls.
Oh, I love that green child.
Yes, give me
the green child.
Q took a glance at her table
and saw her friend left her with
Link. What total
bitches, bitch, what total
bitches leaving all alone?
Do you mind keeping me company?
The name Q, by the way.
Meanwhile, Ibuki
and Sacky Bonkey
walking... Hey, Ozuho,
do you have a thing?
The only thing I have is
my appreciation for true culture.
The one true culture you need.
Was it really alright to leave Q behind?
Oh, come on. Q has the right idea.
We should go around and talk to the other people, like... Ibuki scanned the area for a moment.
Those two blue bipedal animals over there!
Thank you!
Those two blue bipedal animals overtake her! Hang on.
Now that's a yes, and Ibuki made her way towards the truth, dragging Seki-Banki with her.
Hey, Mike.
It's all you, Mike.
I know, I know, I know.
I know, I know, I know.
David eyes lifted up as he heard the sound of an unwilling soul being dragged to his table while his Greninja partner dropped down next to him so that she could see what all the dragging was about.
What?
Which one are you thinking about? Zoe asked him with a smirk.
We can only wait and see, David told her.
This is really not hot.
There's so many characters.
Yeah, every character is worth four characters.
Can you scroll down a bit here?
Frank, can you take that how you going open
i would love to take that yeah that how you going open q said kind disappointed that he was being
somewhat childish come on grow a pair and say that i'm one fine ass fairy Who-to if you're nasty. I'm not going to slap
you for trying to hit on me.
Well, unless you're into that kind of shit.
Use darkness
on a ghost?
I didn't think using darkness
would work
on something that would most likely be found
in the dark.
Ibuki started repeatedly
say the word Pokemon, trying
to remember why it sounded so familiar.
If Cortax was here, she could explain
that joke. Pokemon. Pokemon.
Pokemon. What does that sound so familiar?
Eh.
Well, in our world,
everything has a type,
and everything has a weakness
to a specific type.
Zoe, a water-dark type Pokemon, which means she is weak to electric fairy fighting in grass.
Is your pussy wet?
Oh, yeah.
Well, I'm a steel fighting type, which means I have a weakness to fighting fire and ground.
Mike told them with a smile.
I'm a fighting type, which means I am weak to fighting.
And the ground.
fighting type, which means I am weak to fighting. And the ground.
Some of the thing that the
dog thing said made some sense
to Seki-Baki, but most of that
she had a hard time wrapping around
her head.
Anything goes
in this roleplay, guys.
I'm trying.
The electric grass and fire weak she could get, but the other stuff wasn't clicking with her.
Having finished her drink, Sekibanki was about to call for a refill,
but Ibuki slid her untouched drink in front of her friend called out to the bartender for a cola.
You guys have fairies too why does
only a boogie live in a somewhat normal place oh sorry guys jake bisexual here uh hey jake yeah
uh uh link blushed a little i guess uh I would never be so rude to a lady.
Even though he felt embarrassed,
he did find her and her personality very sexy.
I'm going to go use the bathroom.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
You got quiet.
You could, I mean, you could go home.
You're good.
It's a union show.
You'll get your $300.
You're fine.
Let's scroll down
Zeth's first line here
because they're going to just basically talk about
Pokemon for a while.
Well, fine.
Because it's hot.
Yeah, just get my needs, I guess. It's fine.
Yeah, exactly.
Nightshade walked in the bar.
So many new faces.
He recognized Link.
Well, sort of. They both started
out on the NES.
But while Legend of Zelda
became super popular
and spade new series,
his game, 19,
was just a one-off.
He sees a thing is talking to one
fine-ass fairy.
Holy crap! Is that what
fairies from his game look like now?
No wonder he's obsessed
with catching them and sticking them in
bottles. Gross. Holy
glasses, you old pyro!
Get away from that dork in green, you fine-ass fairy! He sticks fairies in bottles and Gross.
How are you the worst guy? Well, I waited a long time.
So should I just, like, put my dick away my dick away yeah let me make it smaller
actually uh uh no skip skip down to your next one there your next one is pretty great
seki vanki raised an eyebrow with zoe when she said not wanting to be caught in a
watch i didn't really i i don't really being a yokai has anything to being captured in a watch
but i guess i wouldn't want that either seki banki said not giving the frog girl's breasts
a second chance glance but ibuki on the other hand wow your tits are huge it makes ibuki a little
jealous but don't count ibuki out i'll show these puppies can be just as good as any big boobs
ibuki said proudly as cupped up her own breasts up that's uh that's that's impressive because i
gotta say i would i would not be able to not give the frog girl's breast a second chance.
Yeah.
I do not have that amount of willpower.
Well, I mean, at what point am I looking at the frog girl's breast, or am I just looking
at the frog girl?
You know?
Hey guys, it's me, Jake the Bisexual.
Oh, hi Jake!
Did anyone look at the frog girl's breasts yet?
Yeah, but just once.
Oh, how could you resist?
Okay, bye, Jake!
Okay, bye!
Jake, I'm kind of busy here.
If you could go back.
I mean, this was my birthday party,
but I'll leave.
And it's a great party, seriously,
but we're doing well.
It's really great.
It's really great.
Bye.
Really picked up when Frog Girl showed up.
Really?
Zoe said with a smirk as she cupped her own breasts and said, how about we compare them?
Then Ibuki, you know, the thing that girls do.
She said, offer the girl a chance to touch her breasts.
Well, no, I was just ragging on Link, and I'm trying to pick you up, to be honest.
He and I were both idiots.
God damn it!
Be quiet!
Be quiet!
I'm trying to talk to my friend.
The classic no and.
But he came a huge success, and I, not so much.
I am Nightshade, by the way, explained Nightshade.
He was just the best-ass guy you've ever heard, eh, boy, the bookie?
And so he cut their breasts and started to compare them.
Congratulations!
You have momentarily shut this loud mouth up!
Nightshade was at a
complete loss for words!
This is the worst!
This is the worst thing!
But like, grammatically he's perfect
and it makes me think it's Bowen Marsh
in disguise.
He's the only one not
currently working on it. You see, this is
literature, You plebs
Without
Waiting a second
I don't want to hear about
This Pokemon thing anymore
We're gonna
They're finally gonna compare breasts
They're gonna hold boobs
We finally started talking about
A sex thing.
It's only been four pages.
Sexual area.
I'm sure
Zeth can put a cork in that.
So anyway,
Nintendo Power!
Hey, comparing breasts, huh?
Well, anyways, Nightshade was supposed to have
sequels, but it really was just a one-off.
I love that it just ends with italicized,
Story continues from here, but with more characters and less funny stuff.
How could you fucking tell?
Thank you, Shell Game. Thank you, Girlkicks420.
Yeah, thank you. Thank you very much.
Thank you, Shell Game.
Thank you, Girl Kitchen 420.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you very much.
So we've got the last thing we're going to take here is it's called TNT,
The Adventures of Monster Girls.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
I must have.
This is incredibly, incredibly erotic,
and we know that it's erotic because a lot of numbers are involved.
We can quantify it.
And so is Zeth.
Oh, no!
So that's great.
So this is two people.
We've got Zeth and Kurosaru.
Adam, you can take Zeth
as long as you find another voice for him.
Okay.
And intern, would you take Kurosaru, please?
I would be honored.
Oh, great.
You said I have to do another voice?
That's more text than I want from that voice, frankly.
It is another day in Koshed,
the large fantasy city you live in.
You have revived
an urgent summons
from the wizard's guild and are to
meet them at the guild hall at once
introduce your character
please
Kirasaru
Kirasyan
hopping into his robes
as he read the note that had
appeared floating in the air
before him. The young
by eleven years wizard
strapped on his basic clothing
checking for his gold
before grabbing his pouch
and his staff.
Checking the mirror,
he caught the reflection,
a young, lithe, intelligent-looking
elf with shaggy black hair hanging over his head,
partially obscuring his dark brown eyes.
Giving his head a small shake, shaking away the bed hair,
he nodded before swinging the door of the small house he lived in,
to rush towards the wizard's guild,
eager to find out what he was being summoned for.
There was no numbers in that,
and I don't like that.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I promise they're coming.
Inside the guild hall,
Myria greeted you.
She's pictured above, that's her.
Thanks, appreciate it. She is an elven wizard
and a higher ranking
guild member. If she
called Kairos, then
he knows this
has to be serious. But more
importantly, what is she
wearing? It is
insanely skimpy. And you
also notice you are suspicious.
Oh god, I just saw the picture!
Yeah, I wasn't...
Oh, it's great. I guess like normal
anime elf titty ladies are already
ridiculous, so if you're trying to make a sexy
one for porn, you just...
Fall to the wall.
I've never seen a one-legged pant.
That's the most amazing part of this.
Kind of a half-a-legged
pant, really.
Yeah.
Fair.
Okay, so it's one of the...
Yeah, okay.
So.
Kairos, thank you for coming.
A villain calling herself Mother of Destruction
has corrupted several women with dark magic,
turning them into monster girls.
To turn them back, you must beat them in battle
and fuck them
silly. Only freakishly
potent creme from a
viral man can do this.
But you are...
But are you ready to go adventuring
on your own and do this?
Asked Myra. No!
More text, please! Asked Myra seriously.
Ugh.
A blinking Kyrus found his eyes glued to her all but exposed breasts,
his cock surging and throbbing beneath his robes.
No, those are exposed breasts.
Gulping slightly, he listened to her command,
his cock growing harder and harder at the idea of fucking slut stupid.
Definitely.
I'm definitely
eager to do that, he said,
grinning lustfully,
smiling. I can't
wait, he exclaimed.
Zoinks! As he stared
at her. Is that why
you were dressed as such to
test me? He teased,
considering to cast
spirit mastery on her
quickly.
Clever boy,
but sadly, I must first test
you in combat. Seriously,
where is your armor?
This is not D&D.
In Troll World, wizards can
and should wear the best armor they can.
Be quiet!
This is what makes me horny!
Just fuck in the glory hole in the middle of that fourth wall.
Skip, skip, skip, skip.
Your melee attack is 2d6
plus 9.
Yeah!
Your opponents are two goblins
with 45 MR each
so 90 MR total.
What do you do? Blah, blah, blah. each, so 90 MR total, what do you do?
Blah blah blah, rolling rolling rolling, um, rolling rolling
No, no, no, please don't skip
the good part, come on!
We read this bullshit, we wanna
get the meat here. Rolling, rolling,
um, and
he did, uh, the other goblin quickly
dodges staff encountered, attacked with
its club, knocking down Kairos upside the head.
As he passes out, you hear Myra yell,
Oh shit! That wasn't supposed to happen!
Kairos lost the fight.
He gains 8 AP for saving roll, and 1 AP for spending 1 whiz-casting TTYF.
Later, he awakens on the floor of the guild
with Myria standing over him.
It seems I overestimated you, Kairos.
I'm sorry.
You would have beaten one goblin easily enough,
so I thought two would be just as challenging.
I didn't mean to almost kill you.
She says if, a a blush and gives a small
bow.
I see, well,
now I see we
you are at.
We can send
you after a monster
girl when ready, replies
the elf. I just want to say
the part that Adam skipped over here is
the really, really sexy part, which is
roll 2d6 plus 0
3,5 plus 0.
Total 8. 8 plus 48 versus
the level 1 saving throw.
Lemon, you can't read all of
this stuff, or this goes beyond the
explicit tag on iTunes. This is Phil.
It's so good!
4,5,5,6,6
plus 22 equals 48.
Two points of spit damage.
21 for quarterstaff.
There's also one point
of spite damage.
Oh man, I just got through the holidays.
I didn't know a lot about that.
Yeah, I've got a lot of that.
Groaning, he scratches his head,
robbing the sore spot where he got hit.
Ow, yeah, I put a lot of focus on the impact of my spells,
but I'm still just a mage.
Maybe you can come with me.
Help me out if I go on the journey.
He tees, sitting up and watching her bow to him,
his eyes tracing her cleavage.
What can you do to make up for almost killing me?
Combat with no stakes.
Well, Kairos got greedy.
Instead of just coming in her mouth and running off.
I'm sorry.
Like a normal boy.
We skipped a bunch.
They fucked.
Okay. Okay, okay.
Gotcha, gotcha.
Instead of just coming in her mouth and running off, he decided to fuck her tight elven pussy.
Sadly, Maya has no panties to pull down and take.
Her outfit was literally just some string and a jacket.
When Kyra started fucking her, that pose was starting to fade, and she was coming, too.
But more importantly, her pussy was the best he ever felt.
It was tight and warm and soft, and he seemed to milk his dick eagerly.
Sorry, I'm distracted.
Kairos must make a level 3 con save if he fails.
Yeah!
Oh, yeah!
If he fails, he blows his load in her
and passes out
from sheer pleasure.
Is it clear yet
I'm Russian spy
infestating
an American sex website?
We wanted you in here.
We thought you really
added some flavor to it.
Thank you.
Okay, I guess roll 2d6 plus 0.
6, 6, plus 0.
Total 12.
Roll 2d6 plus 0.
Colon 3, 3, plus 0.
Total colon 6
it's not very much
you know I got so excited about the idea
of doing this but now that we're doing it it seems wrong
I have to go
okay
groaning he didn't care if he was greedy he didn't care if she woke up she felt good she
felt so fucking good thrust after thrust he slammed into her uh piercing into her pussy over and over
like a like a bed bug and all over as he growled and grunted thrusting inside and fucking the busty bimbo elf.
Fuck, gonna come soon. Take my cum. Get
knocked up. Ah, fuck, I'm gonna
come soon.
You got
cum.
Holy shit. Oh, god.
Holy shit.
The very last thing
here, we're gonna be going in this order.
We got Achilles Heelys, then Adam Bozarth, then Frank West, myself, and the intern in
rotation, because we have a list of titles.
Yay.
That's right.
Yeah.
That's right.
A list of titles.
These are actual threads found throughout the Blue Moon role-playing community.
Take it away, Achilles.
We've got the Communist Diary.
Adelie's Blood Adventure starring Sausage Sama and RPG Girl.
21F.
Fantasy strap-on roleplay, D&D style
with how to play rules.
Updated.
Yeah, this is the Wolfpack Experiment
is by Mysterious D and Daddy's
Little Skank.
Slaves of the Illithid,
Morather and KB
Mother and daughters fucked up
And knocked up BSM relationship
Strange love
And Tessa the Dom
Fuck that
No I refuse to
Massive
Tits effect
Starring
Pod 6827
and Firestarter09.
The jugs of a witch.
Jughead and Sabrina.
What?
What?
What?
Princess Kaylin.
Oh, excuse me. You're gonna just cut off
the credits? You're the kind of guy who doesn't stay for the fucking credits, huh?
I sure am, yeah
Princess Kaylin X East
Weddings make great
aphrodisiacs by
QCX Break From Reality
I'm a farmer now?
By
By Yummy and
Don Voltanus.
A perfect honeymoon on Mandingo Island.
Darkest underscore fate cross X narrated.
Orcs, draenei, and elves.
Oh my, Sarah and Proxionix.
It's
slutty at the top.
And two real names
I won't read. You're welcome, folks.
That's alright.
Mine's called Kebab Fest.
I don't care
who it's by.
Daughter Needs Her Diaper by Night Creep and Bessa the Dom.
Losing a stripper, gaining a daughter with Clay Flutter and Cakeball.
Wait, how does that math work?
I adopted a stripper!
Adopted a stripper! Oh my god.
Draco Malfoy,
Hermione Granger,
and the Cult of Death,
Darkest Fate, and Grimdark.
Oh my god.
Pokemon
Table Fuck Adventures!
Sindri!
Uh, this is
a romantic tsundere
cat girl triangle school that has a wiki.
I love that anime.
Magical Wife Adventures by Amanis and Zeth.
Oh, Zeth, I love you, Zeth.
What happens when you get an archangel drunk by Crystal and Katsakat?
Coming up next, oral celebrities.
Whoa.
Uncredited.
Next on BBC4.
Next on BBC, oral celebrities.
Did you what? Oral celebrities. Did you what?
Oral celebrities.
Shrinkies make the best dentists.
King of Yahweh and the chicken bone.
Gotta fuck them all.
Pokemon RP by the whiterabbit and myself.
That's what it says, myself.
I'm not the writer.
You wrote it.
Intern. What kind of prank is this?
You got doxxed.
Well, we can pack up
the podcast now. Prank's over.
Finally found your Google account.
Battle the band, battle the sexes.
Grave Matters, a repo role play.
To get the girl I like, I got to get her fans
Her family
I don't think that no I really don't
I could rethink that plan
I've got to get her family
You gotta get with her friends
I need to acquire her family
I'm trapped
In the cosmic gender bender machine I'm trapped in the Cosmic Gender Bender Machine!
And Naruto K-kun is my master by black hand and eee!
Eee!
Only I'm allowed to snog my sister, a Harry Potter RP rp by kakuri and mary massacre why if the scarlet witch was gay during her middle breakdown
fuck you x-men house of pussy
that's so good actually welcome to the X-Men house, pussy!
Karate can't save you now.
Not true.
Welcome back, my love. Now fuck me.
The mono version.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a lower file size, but you don't get stereo.
I've got The Kitten Hotel by Rhea and Waffles, and this is the heterosexual version.
Oh, thank you.
Finally.
A dark, dark spot!
Oh, shit!
Oh, my God!
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
Sorry.
Billy Mays here, and I'm here to tell you about
My first born in exchange for a
Not submissive female
Second born thrown in free
Billy wow
Jesus Billy
Can she really fuck all that
What did we learn from any of this f plus
can't they're not even trying to jerk off anymore i guess nobody really i guess yeah
it's just jerking off is in your nerd stuff and nerd stuff's in your jerking off like it's just
like they sort of wanted to jerk off but then nerd stuff happened and they just did that instead and
they sort of like i feel like
maybe a slightly more ordinary person like if they're trying to do a normal thing and then
they get distracted and waste time by jerking off and i guess if you're nerdy enough you just flip
that yeah oh yeah that does make sense i read i read an article about this for sure for sure and McSweeney's
was McSweeney's
it was probably McSweeney's
yes or the New York Times
which is the McSweeney's of
news
that's not unfair
yeah
yeah I yeah Yeah, the...
The ability to just want to, like, throw in Nintendo lore in every conversation is...
I mean, it's a disease, right?
Like, it's clearly...
Yeah.
Like, it's clearly a malnourished mind that wants to do really anything we read here.
It kind of makes me second guess all my nerdy, nerdy friends.
Not just regular nerd friends, but the real hardcore nerdy.
Cool people, but so into stuff.
Watch Lord of the Rings on repeat every other month.
Sure. Yeah, because their name is Zeth
on the internet.
All my friends' names are Zeth.
And I'm not trying to kink-shame
or anything, but I'm like, I bet
they'd be into this, and that's weird.
But that's the thing!
I mean, are you kink-shaming people for just
having, like, for fucking up your own
kink?
Yeah, I have a time up your own kink. Yeah, have a time-wasting
kink.
I have
a useless words fetish.
Really? I can't stop writing useless
words. I mean, there's so many
threads on this site. Like, I've just been clicking around
during this episode. There's so many threads.
And, you know, I mean, unless
you're, um, unless you're
a mighty woman, like, people respond to all the shit
like all these role plays happen and go on for pages and pages and pages like they're
they're into it and nothing i clicked on um found itself like a rhythm or pattern or anything like
that it was just a whole bunch of people just smashing into each other with their dumb pre-planned text
that they probably just do
in every single other role play.
It makes you appreciate
Bow and Marsh now, doesn't it?
It sure does.
It sure does.
It's like they said at the top,
everybody's pretty much polite and nice,
but to a fault
to where they're not wanting like, wanting to get nasty.
Dude.
Thanks, Grandpa.
It's like if you went to an orgy
and everybody just, like, hung out
by, like, a table of appetizers.
What is this, a handshake orgy?
It reminds me of that other one that we read
where they were doing, like,
let's have an erotic roleplay.
And immediately all of the people, like, erotic roleplay themselves, like, standing in the corner of the bar, like, next to the pool table.
Like, I'm drinking a beer watching other people.
Because, like, that's as far as their fantasy goes.
Like, I have, like, massive orange balls.
Like, I have a four-foot dong,
you know, and I'm really more
of an observer than a participant.
I'm shy on the internet.
And if you're looking for a place that's incredibly
sexy, you can go to Ball
Pit! It is sexy in ways
that I can't even describe because
I don't know why.
And the T-H-E-F-P-L dot U-S has been redesigned. There's a newly that I can't even describe because I don't know why. And
the T-H-E-F-P-L dot U-S
has been redesigned. There's a newly
placed logo that you're going to like a whole lot.
And
there's also merch you can buy, so that's exciting.
Anything else?
Anything else you want to talk about? No?
Join my erotic roleplays on
Ball Pit. I'll be making an erotic roleplay thread
Oh dear
And you can't ignore threads
Okay bye Go heavy, come with a Get you sexy out Go heavy, come with a Get you sexy out Go heavy, come with a
Get you sexy out
Go heavy, come with a
Get you sexy out
Go heavy, come with a
Get you sexy out
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready?
You ready? You ready? You ready? You ready? You ready? To be jumped on Come on, let's go What you really need
To be jumped on
Come on, let's go
It's a dream
It's coming to me
Just come and tell me so Thank you.