The F Plus - 31: The Antisocial Network

Episode Date: October 11, 2010

With an registered userbase of over 500 million, Facebook has not been hindered much by niggling security concerns. Enter YourOpenBook. A site which, like Google, searches through all public prof...iles for people talking about the pressing news of the day, like their uninformed political opinions or details of who is cheating on them now. This week, The F Plus will make you doublecheck your security settings.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Give me a kiss to build a dream on And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss Hey there, welcome to F+, Terrible Things, Red Enthusiasm. My name's Lemon. And I'm John. And John, if I may ask, do you have a Facebook account? I'm John. And, uh,
Starting point is 00:00:22 John, if, if I may ask, do you have a Facebook account? I do. I had along with me and like pretty much everybody I know. Yes, I have a Facebook. Everyone in the world.
Starting point is 00:00:31 Yeah, pretty much. Um, you know, you know, what's great about, uh, Facebook is that you have these,
Starting point is 00:00:37 it says, it says, uh, you know, Facebook asked you and there's a little box and it says, what's on your mind right now. And then sometimes, you know, like I'll go and I'll be hungover and I have some shitty Mexican food and my ass hurts
Starting point is 00:00:51 because I had some bad Mexican food. And I feel like I want to tell everyone that thing, that thing that happened. That's good, yeah, because I'm actually really addicted to just getting these meaningless little updates about nothing going on. So it's nice to just have a whole portal that's devoted to that. There's a site called youropenbook.org. And essentially what it is, it's a search engine where you just search through people's updates.
Starting point is 00:01:22 And then everyone who lifts their update public, you can see what they're thinking or not thinking or misspelling. This originally was passed around as an idea of searching for Mosk, M-O-S-K. Clearly people who spell Mosk, M-O-S-K, probably have really good thoughts and opinions on mosques. Yeah, and surely they just wouldn't toss out whatever racist, bigoted shit is in their head. Just, you know, not check the spelling on anything and just go by phonics on, you know, Arabic words. You know, they'd be really cogent about it. Yeah, I think so. So I think let's do a little bit of that, and then let's move on to see
Starting point is 00:02:06 who wants to tell the internet if they're being cheated on, or if they're pussy itches, or whatever exactly we can find here. Yeah, sure. Alright, let's get to the readers. Ladies and gentlemen! In the room tonight we have Portex.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Can we make this quick? I need to go build my mosque over at Ground Zero. Hey, C.R. Coatl. In the room tonight, we have Portex. Can we make this quick? I need to go build my mosque over at Ground Zero. Ace York Waddle. No, you can't build a mosque because you can't spell it right. Boots Reingear. Boots Reingear needs to yiff a female bad. Fun Fred. No mask on 9-1-1.
Starting point is 00:02:41 Stog. They pronounce mosque in America on red bandana. John? Sam tried Faygo for the first time last night and lived in it. Damn, do my feet hurt. Jack-Chick? I died one day ago via Facebook for iPhone. Kumquat?
Starting point is 00:03:00 Is carrying both money and sweets. Iscon? Actually, I think my new name's going to be Isfah Licks a Lot of Booty. And Lemon. They should call it Fuckbook. They should. They really should.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Buddy Brett, I want you to click on that, and then you're going to need to scroll down to start the story here. This is Michael Lancer Summers. Normally when you do an ab shot, you know you have abs. He just wants you to know that he shaved his pubes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:38 Hi, y'all, this is Michael Lancer Summers, and I want to say what up to Kayla Marie Summers. I love her to death and wonder what else you want for the world. Hey, damn, I love you to death and one day I'll be all alone for the world. Hey, damn, I love you. He fell off a cliff as he said that. Alright, next post. Man, can't life get
Starting point is 00:03:58 much worse? Frowny frowns. I have nothing for that my K-Bird. She is my life and so is the kids. All right, next post. I love Kayla more than anything. And I love the kids too. Heart.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Facebook really needs a dislike button, you know? Law. I love you, Kayla Marie. Wish me luck on my job interview. Love you, baby. Okay, that's all from a couple days ago. Let's scroll to Saturday here. Saturday at 2.25 p.m.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Love and marriage. Love and marriage. Go together like a horse and carriage. Oh, deep face. All right, what's his post after that? That's my favorite song, D. Happy D-Face, D. All right, what's his next post after that?
Starting point is 00:04:54 Kayla Marie Cran was cheating on me the whole fucking time. Well, that bitch can fucking die in fucking hell with her fucking kids. She can fuck on her fucking fuck that she fucked in on, y'all. My name's Tony Weekly. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't you dare. Damn kids to hell, Mike. Who can't do it to her but not
Starting point is 00:05:16 babies? No, that bitch deserved it. Michael, not about babies. I don't care about her but not about babies. I don't care about her, but not about babies. I'm going to be Nikita, some kind of angular thing, Zeta, Renee Clark. Really, if you want my help to make her stop, don't talk about her kids' plos. She won't stop anyway.
Starting point is 00:05:42 She has NW, hasn't she? Way too far Nikki I'm sorry but if I had a kid And made a mistake I wouldn't want people To say I know she was in the wrong I'm sorry You didn't deserve to be cheated on But you deserve better And you will find better, I know.
Starting point is 00:06:08 From what my sister did, you were my Christian. So seriously, stop the BS, everyone. And for you to say that about it is said kids kids. That's fucked up. Seriously, stop this shit with the kids. They did shit to you. Stop doing shit, then. Mikey, please be nice.
Starting point is 00:06:37 You can be mean to her, but to bring little kids into this, please. Does she just actually want him to bring little kids into this, please. Oh. Does she just actually want him to bring little kids into this? Oh, yes. Oh. Toughen them right up, those little shits. Being damned to hell tends to toughen up a kid.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Okay, what's that? I wasn't that sure I am when me and fucking Kylo were dating. Ass brutal. I just can't. I don't know you personally but you brought the kids down in the middle and that is the one thing that
Starting point is 00:07:14 pisses me the fuck off oh they do nothing they are idle shit children she keeps trying different spellings of innocent. Maybe she'll just keep going at it until she gets one that works. I don't deserve you to talk about them like that. They can't even defend themselves for crying out loud.
Starting point is 00:07:49 Well, maybe you should tell Kayla to stop fucking saying I was cheating on her when I fucking wasn't. I ain't the fucking cheating type. Oh, man. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Well, maybe it's time to stop talking the shit as well as Americans. That is bullshit.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Why are you taking a crap while you're signing into Facebook? I don't understand. But yet you're back with Shane, another ex that you said you hardly ever talked true Seems so suck Pisces to me Is going on my Mike me and Shay wait no
Starting point is 00:08:47 me and Shay hardly talk when me and Kyler were together Shay was dating a guy named Friday as far as I know dating a guy named Friday yeah Joe Friday yeah all right so
Starting point is 00:09:04 so what's your next post? Okay. Michael Lancer Stimmers. Okay, yo. Tongue hurts just a tiny bit. Stupid face. Stupid face. Yeah, I think you need to end every sentence with this guy's stupid face.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Math plus CMT equals hearth. Yo, man, I passed geometry. I think it's a little messed up when people start saying I love you after one day of dating. Kind of irritating. But me and her have known each other for a long time. Backwards happy face, somehow funny face.
Starting point is 00:09:46 I'd like to imagine he's making all these faces as he's talking to someone in real life. Just turning his head to the side constantly. Holy shit, he's updating every few minutes. Oh yeah. F plus live. We're going to catch up with him, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:02 Night, love, three, better than something tired of being ignored you know what damn hi is this Fucking hate it on them haters, man It's them stretch now And a lot of apostrophes up on this bitch A lot of apostrophes Hey Mike, what do you hate? Very little, it appears
Starting point is 00:10:42 I hate when you say a girl's gonna get hurt and someone automatically takes it and says, I'm gonna fucking hit a girl. Well, one of the five. They should have seen it coming. What can I say? Wow. Jesus. Well, word of advice.
Starting point is 00:11:04 I won't hit a goddamn girl. It ain't worth going to fucking jail over. He'll damn them to hell, but he won't punch them. We'll get to that later. I'm sure he'll damn someone to hell. You're gonna get hurt by me, but I'm not gonna hit you or nothing. Well, maybe he'll just
Starting point is 00:11:20 flick their ear or something. Oh, yeah. He constructed an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine out of red bandanas that will hit them. Not him. Wow. People starting shit. Not cool. Tell me to get the fuck out of the house and I'll get the fuck out
Starting point is 00:11:41 and you won't ever see me again. Ever. I'm sorry you're upset. Cheer up. Everything will be okay. Oh, okay then. Crisis averted. That was a close one. Bitch was about to get hurt. Not by me.
Starting point is 00:11:59 And now Mike's in a relationship with Shea and Turek. Oh, okay. So we're going to skip up ahead now. I love my Shea, baby. And my son Connor. Yay! Oh, this ended nice. Yummy. Marlboro
Starting point is 00:12:18 Reyes backwards half a face. That's the real twist ending there. Alright. Alright, so kill us on Wicked Ninja Clown. Yeah, I was just going to ask, are we going to be using their real names? Because I don't know if the Ninja Clown family wants to be exposed
Starting point is 00:12:33 to this kind of publicity. The Michigan Ninja Clowns are a very respected family, and they would rather not have this scandal on their heads. His name is Kill a Thump Wicked Ninja Clown, but I have a nickname. It's Thumper. No, no. His family came through Ellis Island
Starting point is 00:12:49 on a Friday afternoon. I just wanted to get them to know it was... First of all, I'm a wicked clown juggalo representing the Dark Carnival forever. I like the way I am and I ain't gonna change
Starting point is 00:13:07 number four, no number one. Second, I don't need no help, my nigger. I can do bad on my own meaning. I don't need no number one or nothing number two get me through life. So he doesn't need piss to get through life.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Through as in the verb. Yeah. Grand Prairie. I dedicate fear by boondocks number to my unborn child Robert Lee. Daddy will be there
Starting point is 00:13:37 learn before you no matter what. He has number to do. I love you, buddy boy, and I will make you proud. Let's cut forward. How many days is this? 15 hours later.
Starting point is 00:13:54 This is 15 hours later. About number two, say, fuck my baby mama, drop her ass, and give me a new fitment. And somebody just needs to read Christopher Matthews response to that. Got your back ninja. And also, also it says Brianna Combs likes this,
Starting point is 00:14:29 and Brianna Combs is the girl in question. All right, so who's going to play Brianna? Because this fight is awesome. All right, so poor tax your Brianna Combs. All right, take it. No, who ended it? I just said the words. Because I didn't tell who I stayed
Starting point is 00:14:47 with a friend who don't like. Yes, and because who lied number two me and even though who was in the wrong, who blamed me. It's my fault. No, wait. It's my fault.
Starting point is 00:15:04 It's my fault who didn't tell me and it's my fault who No, wait. No, my... It's my fault. It's my fault. Who didn't tell me? And it's my fault. Who lied number two minutes. You're probably gonna say it's my fault. Who cheated, right? Wow, that is fault three times in a row. I know.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Oh, he's consistent, if nothing. It's a triple fault. So intense. No, if nothing. It's a triple fall. So intense. No, all me! But the reason U said things was because I didn't tell U and U said why stop now wasted eight months so far. Because it's
Starting point is 00:15:36 what U want. U said it herself. U just be around number four, Robert, and Nguyen else, and number two, number four, Kat, and Nguyen Els, and number two, number four, Kat, about Boo and Maddie. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:15:52 That makes sense. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, because of the fighting. And if Boo didn't, also, Boo wouldn't have said it. What fighting? I don't think they fight. They're having a discussion. They're just're just like catapulting random words to each other it's sometimes not even that
Starting point is 00:16:11 this is constitute as a fight don't fight some words on them they're mathematicians they're fighting with numbers this is all been just high-level algebra. Say what? Ooh, we're done! Nope didn't come out of my mouth till ooh told me number two say it. I told ooh who I stayed with and ooh said it after. Yup, I told ooh I don't want her around. She's a stuck-up little cunt who don't know a goddamn thing about me September 4th. What? Who told her
Starting point is 00:16:51 which ain't a goddamn thing? Oh, now it makes sense. Yeah, that ain't a goddamn thing. But my friend who is here for me and because she said something to Oh she can't be around him It's just like Tosha Oh it is just like Tosha
Starting point is 00:17:11 Forget it Jake it's Tosha Town So Tasha Corsi's drama Cause she's an attention seeking bitch Who thinks everything should go her way And you know fuck that little bitch She can burn in fucking hell. Me? How? I'd like to point out that Mr. Ninja
Starting point is 00:17:30 Clown here spells causes. C-O-S-S-I-S. Cosis. Oh, also did I point out that she's eight months pregnant? Oh, wow. There's more. It's not her first.
Starting point is 00:17:45 She's got two kids. Also, There's more. It's not her first. Oh, dear. She's got two kids. Also, she's 19. Yeah, I was just going to say, she's probably at the ripe old age of 19. Three kids are to be expected. That's the de facto standard. Damn, he's really going after grandmas there. Quiver full of clown arrows.
Starting point is 00:18:10 That's a clown. A little clown bone. All right, keep going. Ock, Papal, who don't like for, to me, stupid reason, can't be around him, but they are good, Papal. What the fuck does that mean? If she thinks I'm a horrible fucking person, even though I've been through new in butthole and still stuck around number to try and fix things,
Starting point is 00:18:31 I stopped smoking and have been sober from drugs for number four over a month. Know that she's a bitch. No, not good people. Oh, wow. M-U-N-T-H. I've been sober anyway. She's a bitch.
Starting point is 00:18:49 If we're talking about Amber, the reason she thinks that is because what? Who say to me other than that? Nothing. You deserve about 90% of what I say. I will admit I get out of line every once in a while,
Starting point is 00:19:10 but it's just very hard. Number four, me. Number two, number four, me. Oh, number four, that's who did. Number two, me. You really have no idea how bad that fucked me up. I really have no idea how bad that fucked me up, too.
Starting point is 00:19:32 I just lost my vocabulary. Wow. I have no idea what the fuck is happening. Almost done. All right. Him not asking for ooh to number four give every time we fight ooh, bring it up, and it has nothing to do with half or what is going on.
Starting point is 00:19:53 What? What is going on? You heard her. Number two day. Well, holy shit. Him who did everything goes back to Thut, and now the only thing is the buh-bye
Starting point is 00:20:09 other than Thut is me! And Thut is what you tell me. Now, for people listening at home, you may think Thut is some sort of misspelling, but it's actually Ninja Clown throwing ninja stars at her. And barely missing.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Oh no! Ninja Clown stars. And that was the last, so Brianna got the last word here. English, how does it work? Apparently not at all. So I've got a big
Starting point is 00:20:44 search of Mosk. M-O-S big search of Mosk. M-O-S-K. Mosk. But Lemon, Mosk isn't spelled that way. I don't understand. No, it's not spelled that way. You're absolutely correct. But some people believe that it's spelled that way.
Starting point is 00:20:58 And people who do believe that have some very interesting opinions. Sir, I find that difficult to swallow. I'm going to have to ask for some proof. Oh, well, I'm so glad you asked. Here we go. We left in the picture so that you know what everyone looks like. Wow. White people, huh? Shocker.
Starting point is 00:21:18 No, there's some Mexicans. No, there's some... Okay, there's some Mexicans. Alright, alright. So Acer, start it out. Adam Kenneth Griswold. I think I figured something out. Whoever it was that came up with the idea that the world was gonna end
Starting point is 00:21:33 in 2012 is the same mass turd who came up with the idea to build a Muslim mosque in front of Drowned Zero and the same person that is causing all these massive oil leaks in our wonderful ocean sink. It's time to find that dude and give him an old-fashioned lynchin. Oh, dear.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Whoa. Oh, my. He's figuring something out. I don't even know how to react to it. It's against capital L, so it's David Lynchin. This sounds like a job for Basil Marceau. Alright, Portex, you're up next Fucking hairy monkey balls
Starting point is 00:22:10 That Barack Hussein Osama Obama What the fuck? Can you imagine those fucking narrow-minded Ignorant population of a made-up country They'll be crying and screaming You can't do that, Jesus was born here Saddam Obama. He'll have the last laugh. Fucking yanks.
Starting point is 00:22:31 Not even American? Pretty cogent. No, I looked up this guy. This guy is British, and he's one of those people that spells F-I-N-K. Oh, yeah. It's like the Cockney.
Starting point is 00:22:47 Alright, I'm Aaron Pauling. You are. Ah, yes. The day is finally upon us. Eminem is back in concert for the first time in years. This song slash video has been stuck
Starting point is 00:23:04 in my head recently due to the Muslims who want to build a mosque at Ground Zero in New York City. Wake up, people. Educate yourselves if you haven't already. This song slash video gives me the chills. It's like the ultimate adrenaline rush for me. But please listen to the lyrics if you haven't already.
Starting point is 00:23:32 Don't let her be ignorant. Eminem for president. Letter N. I'm not even kidding. Whoever's Zoom. Educate yourself. Get Eminem for president. Educate yourself, Eminem for president. whoever's educate yourself educate yourself Eminem for president
Starting point is 00:23:49 a few people know this but Eminem would run on a pro education platform if anyone would well Mr. John Pendleton has this to say this guy's great Charles Reingold You got in trouble for some backdoor stuff
Starting point is 00:24:08 You were coughed doing You and others You and others in Congress Don't believe in following the Constitution Unless it is convidient You hence have no say In your support of a mosque at ground zero. Freedom of religion, you don't even support an unintelligent liberal congressman.
Starting point is 00:24:31 What? What? What? You read exactly what was there. All right, so I'm lucky enough to end up with Chris Henshaw Vale. All right, Chris Henshaw Vale. Let's have some fun. This mosque is sick. I want to take a ride in your curry Vale. Alright, Chris Henshaw Vale. Let's have some fun. This mosque is sick.
Starting point is 00:24:46 I want to take a ride in your curry stick. Yeah, baby! Sorry, that says Babby. Yeah, that's more like it. Yeah, Babby. No, no, you don't extend the Y, you extend the B. It's B.
Starting point is 00:25:05 So far, Chris Henshaw is the most likable person in this list. You guys are all liberals. It helps that Chris Henshaw looks like David Bowie. It looks like he'd look like Austin Scarlett from the first season of Project Runway. I was thinking more of a white Grace Jones.
Starting point is 00:25:24 You're not wrong. He's not going to be typecast. All right, Priscilla. Oh, man. Priscilla, Priscilla. This is very much a good... Priscilla, Mancilla. No, Priscilla Mancias.
Starting point is 00:25:37 And that means it's Priscia Mancias. Priscia Mancias. Priscia Mancias. This is what they did to us. and they want to build a mosque. What? It would be a travesty if we allow them to build here their Mosley Mosque. Never America, never forget what the Mosley did to us and what the mosque represent. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
Starting point is 00:26:07 Anger, no other word at this point. www.youtube.com. Star, star, star. Warning, this video is a traffic movie of people jumping from the WTC and other disturbing scenes. Star, star, star. The attacks on the World Trade Center.
Starting point is 00:26:31 World Trade Center. The attack. So she had to actually post a video of the World Trade Center attack in case people weren't familiar with what happened. She said, never forget. You forgot. Yeah, she doesn't realize
Starting point is 00:26:45 never forget. You weren't literally hoping people wouldn't forget. Alright, John, you're next. Alex Milton. Little known fact about the mosque near ground zero situation. The building that shows is a building in which one of the
Starting point is 00:27:00 engines form, one of the planes that crashed until the twin towers landed. So to all of you saying it's arbitrary, let them have their mosque. I say, fuck you, asshole. Because this is their
Starting point is 00:27:19 attempt at the ultimate bitch slap. As if a major terrorist attack wasn't enough. So, Al-Qaeda having a meeting. Alright, we will drive planes into their buildings. Uh-huh. Then what? Then, several decades later,
Starting point is 00:27:36 we will build a wreck center. Ah! Thundercrash. Ha ha ha! Then his little sidekick shows up. you say, you're horrible, Ness That sounds good as a starter Kind of a jumpy off point But what else you got?
Starting point is 00:27:55 Fuck you, that's an okay bitch slap But here comes the ultimate bitch slap We're gonna build and pay taxes You guys have us all backwards We're going to build and pay taxes. No, you guys have us all backwards. At first they were just like, man, we really want to build this rec center right here. But there's some twin towers already there. What can we do?
Starting point is 00:28:15 I got it. It all makes sense now. Donovan Brown. If I wasn't all busted up and old I would join the Ezra Aliyah army nuke Iraq and Iran until President or the Soviet Union
Starting point is 00:28:33 George Bush told me to do it and that has hiding in a mosque in Pennsylvania heavily armed and guarded he cannot fail heavily armed and guarded. He, he. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:28:48 I thought a plane cannot fail. That is absolutely brilliant. That's like, and then I'm gonna, if I wasn't so old and shit, I'd go down to the Air Force, and I'd steal a plane, and I'd fly out there, and then I'd nuke them, and then they'd capture it, and I'd tell them that, you know, like, the Russians did it, and then I'd break out, and I'd stab them all, and then I'd
Starting point is 00:29:04 I'd throw them in the water, and that's what it needed then I break out and I stab them all and then I... I got up and I was there. Are you saying that this elderly gentleman may have the attitudes and opinions of a seven-year-old? No. He's a seven-year-old. Mr. Brown, thank you for coming all the way to
Starting point is 00:29:19 Israel to join our army. I see that you're rather old, so we're going to put you in charge of nuclear arms. I know it's your first day on the job, but we trust you. Anyway, here's the button, and go ahead and ask questions. Hey, guys, I'm looking forward to Donovan Brown's latest techno thriller, The President is Hiding in a Mosque in Pennsylvania. The Pennsylvania
Starting point is 00:29:45 window. I would genuinely read the shit out of that. Well, I would accomplish what an entire military and intelligence infrastructure couldn't do in, like, nearly a decade, said Donovan Brown, but my back hurts. Alright.
Starting point is 00:30:05 So this is Charles Cassie and he has a Jesus flag as his profile picture. Maybe he's a sentient Jesus flag. Jesus flags can type. And better than most humans that are on Facebook. In my opinion, irregardless
Starting point is 00:30:22 if President Barack Obama visits a mosque, or not one of us Muslim or otherwise unless you're Republican, should stop at symbol Walmart, Home Depot, BP, Arco, AM, PM, or Target stores. And facilities for the coming two months, especially not that school is about to begin, being that Republicans seem to have
Starting point is 00:30:51 replicans. Yeah, get that right. Being that replicans seem to have something other than 9-11 against this and other groups of people. Holy shit, you're right! Holy shit, you're right.
Starting point is 00:31:06 Holy shit, you're what? You're incoherent. Yeah, just holy shit, I guess. Man, after every one of these, I just instinctively want to be like, no, I don't have any change. I'm sorry, I don't have any change. It's just like muscle memory of that.
Starting point is 00:31:23 All right. Come what? My name is Richard Allen Davey. muscle memory of that. Alright. Tomquat? My name is Richard Allen Davey. Good night world. Say a prayer for peace and no mosque. Mosque. Mosque. However the hell they spell it in New York.
Starting point is 00:31:37 What? They spell it correctly the first time and then proceeds to spell it incorrectly. I don't know how they spell it here, but they spell it differently in New York. Why the fuck would they build a mosque in the 911 site? That is so fucking disrespectful. Whenever that thing is done,
Starting point is 00:31:54 hopefully someone blows it up. What? That sucks that they blew up those towers in that area. I hope someone blows up this new building. That'll show them. It's John Pendleton again. Yay! Funny bread. We're back to John Pendleton. Oh, goody.
Starting point is 00:32:12 Hey, Pelosi. I pay my taxes. You as a member of Congress works for me. In spite of you being from California, as one of your baddy bosses, you need to be investigated for favor of the mosque at ground zero not your boss is the citizen of the cut wait no shit
Starting point is 00:32:30 yes this this seems too well written I was getting tripped up over there well spelt words it's not okay not your boss is the citizens of this country whom are against that mosque. You seem to forget that there's an amendment called the first which protects us as free speech. Before you say I'm not from New York, neither are you. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:32:58 I think John Pendleton needs to do more with this. He has Nancy Pelosi as a Facebook friend. I'm really angry that you supported something. My reason is the First Amendment. Stop saying things. You shouldn't be allowed to do this thing
Starting point is 00:33:13 because it's free speech. I'm free speech. I'm Brian Sloop. I think he would bring a strip and go naked to the party. Yes, he would. I like this guy because he explains things to us. Oh, good.
Starting point is 00:33:29 For those of you who don't know, Obama's communist ass is about to build a mosque. For those of you who don't know what a mosque is It's basically A Muslim place of worship I find this super fucked up Because the reason the twin towers Are gone I'm the first place Is because Muslim terrorists Blew them up
Starting point is 00:34:00 Oh man, whistle has been blown He's uncovered a conspiracy. Follow the money. Oh, my God. Brandon Monk. Brandon Monk is great. Let's see. Who's up next? That's me. Oh, yeah. Do a boot to your champion. Brandon Monk.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. There's a building in Musk at Ground Zero. God damn, let's just give him a nuke and take over New York. No big deal. They're just terrorists. No big deal. La la la la la. So funny, though. No, actually, it's
Starting point is 00:34:35 foony. It's foony. They need a cock in the ass. Make them do it again. Right now. I think Stogg wanted to do this fat dog. Fat dog alert. Oh, you really want that? Alright, go for it. Her name is Penny McGarry Carer.
Starting point is 00:34:54 I'm Penny McGarry Carer and I'm a fat dog. Governor Patrick, I really like when you came to Buffalo for the St. Patrick's Day parade. I felt you were on our side. Now with the debate about the Muslims beating the mosque, you are really becoming too political. Ask us a human and you will respond differently.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Oh! You know, actually, I think that probably made her more comprehensible. That's true. Buddy Brent, Grover after going to the dentist. Yeah. I forgot my wisdoms pulled. Is this forever? All right.
Starting point is 00:35:53 My name is Saeed Uzaman. Get fucking robbed in a mosque. Okay. Get fucking robbed in a mosque. Get fucking robbed in a mosque Get fucking robbed in the mosque Do it Go get robbed in the mosque
Starting point is 00:36:10 Alright John This is CJ Campbell Obama supports the building of the mosque Or however you spell it next to ground zero Come on please What's next the Japs building a memorial at Pearl Harbor Talk about slapping the citizens of this great country in the face Obama needs to run
Starting point is 00:36:25 for president in some other country so he can be with his idiot people. I hate those idiot people. He needs to run for president of Idiota. What's that? It's not been culturally acceptable to say Japs for about 50 years?
Starting point is 00:36:40 It's been 65 years since World War II. Somebody's got to keep the old racism II. Somebody's gotta keep the old racism alive. That's why I'm here. King of the old school. Alright, Jack. Alright. This is Derek Paquin. I am so tired of the PC country we live in and we don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
Starting point is 00:36:58 Would Saudi Arabia put up a Christian church? Hell no, they wouldn't! And if you still believe that the towers were dropped by Al-Qaeda, it's too late, enjoy the woe! Yay! Here comes the NWO! Oh, that's great. The New World Order. They used to face off against WCW in the early 2000s.
Starting point is 00:37:20 I was more a fan of Degeneration X. Suck it! You know more about it of Degeneration X. Suck it. Yeah. You know more about it than I do, apparently. Don't put the mosque not because of terrorist connections, but because this is a Christian nation. In God we trust, well, it used to be. Oh, well, this is an inherent fear of all Muslims,
Starting point is 00:37:44 thinking they're all terrorists. This is just good old-fashioned religious intolerance. It's like comfort food for a black heart. I also love, what was it? Well, no, she may be smarter than she seems, though, just because, you know, she said the exact same thing that Newt Gingrich said about, you know, Saudi Arabia not having Christian churches. I mean, she has the same thoughts that he does.
Starting point is 00:38:08 So, you know. They shouldn't be allowed to build a mosque near Ground Zero because they shouldn't be allowed to build a mosque in America. Because what would this country look like if you were actually able to build a mosque anywhere in America? It would be weird and different. It would be weird and different. My name is Matt Rosencrantz. If we as Americans allow a mosque to be built at ground number zero, I will fly a plane
Starting point is 00:38:32 into it and fuck the shit out of some virgins in heaven. That's not how it works. Sorry, Matt. If a Muslim who could kiss my American ass. Sorry, Matt. Kiss my American ass! Brothers!
Starting point is 00:38:52 Sisters! Listen to Michael Tate! The revelation said that the oceans turned red like blood. Who would have ever thought it would have been from oil? And the temple was built since America is considered the new Jerusalem. Could this be referring to the mosque debate going on in New York right now?
Starting point is 00:39:08 And there was an eclipse like never seen before. Could this be referring to the 2012 solar alignment? Something to think about for the day, Michael Tate. He may never just be one certain kind of crazy. Does he end all of his wall posts with Michael Tate?
Starting point is 00:39:24 No, no, no. That was something to think about for the day. My name. Think about Michael Tate for the day. No more taskless than putting a mosque at the 9-11 site. Isn't funny how the Dems start crying dirty politics, but say it clean when they do it.
Starting point is 00:39:40 Then the Democratic News Medica back them up. Thank God for Fox Rush and the rest. News.yahoo.com The family of the late Robert C. Beard blasted the GOP nominee for his U.S. Senate seat
Starting point is 00:39:56 Sunday after he used an image from Beard's memorial service in a TV ad attacking the Democratic nominee. Sen Beard's family denounces campaign attack ad. Bobby Buggner. I'm not sure which voice to use for this.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Whatever the dumbest voice you have on hand is. I'm using it. Follow your heart. He starts with a question. Do you have a professorial voice? I do have one voice. 29 out of 6?
Starting point is 00:40:29 What's this number's significance? The number of working Americans who lost their lives in the Twin Towers attack on September 11, 2001. Gromitas! Do you get pissed off anew every time you hear this attack on Americans on American soil like Aldar?
Starting point is 00:40:45 And now the people who share the same religious beliefs as the ones who perpetrated this want to build a mosque. Intentional. You're the scene of the crime. Wake up! What if I'm already awake? Okay, honey, I don't think we can let you watch Sesame Street anymore. Okay, honey, I don't think we can let you watch Sesame Street anymore. Elmer's a racist!
Starting point is 00:41:15 Racist against cookie monsters. I want to do Ricky McDonald here. Alright. Politicans and U.S. military generals plead their case that burning the Quran will undermine the safety of the U S troops who are defending Muslims from Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan and are already putting very lives in danger every day. Yet I have heard as into gathered together move in a single direction no politikin or military leader
Starting point is 00:41:48 condom or refer to the building of a Muslim mosque at ground zero the hell no Al-Qaeda is a really bad disease we do need to defend the Muslims from it What the hell? No, Al-Qaeda is a really bad disease.
Starting point is 00:42:07 We do need to defend the Muslims from it. Al-Qaeda is what you get when you've got a tummy ache. Two seltzers. Oh, that's right. That's true. Oh, no, before those rechargeable batteries, I used to keep using the Al-Qaeda ones. Those little red squiggly lines that keep appearing under our words?
Starting point is 00:42:21 Muslim conspiracy. Yes. I just called those eye worms. Bunny bread? Okay. I just hate a freeze ray. To anyone who may have seen a post on my page about the mosque at ground zero,
Starting point is 00:42:39 first I must take responsibility for my own stupidity in not checking this out before I posted it but it is a story that the hate monitors in this country are twisted and inflamed to suit their own needs it isn't even a mosque that they want to build and it is sincerely not a gladiator i apologize I apologize. Yay!
Starting point is 00:43:08 Oh, Facebook just got a little bit smarter. Yeah. Thank you, Mrs. Freezeray. Well, you gotta get the facts straight before you take over the world. All right, let's see. So, I believe I'm next. So, I'm Christy Cragen. If there was ever a doubt in my mind as to whether or not mental illness was real, not anymore.
Starting point is 00:43:31 I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe. She believes now. I heard she believes. So is that the official pronunciation? It's weether? Yes. All right, John. All right.
Starting point is 00:43:50 Christopher Fellini. Weether we see it or not, he is making treasures from the past things which have and still do hinder us. He is in control. He docent like that we are suffering from the past, which is why every minute is a new minute. Oh,
Starting point is 00:44:09 wow. Done. Asterix hyphen. New beginnings are of a billet every second of every day. I would have gone with Avobyle, but hyphen. A billet. Asterix. A billet. What is it going to be? Every day! I would have gone with avabile, but yours is mid-two. Hyphen, asterisk. What is it going to be?
Starting point is 00:44:31 What is it going to be? That's the question. What is it or is it not going to be? It's going to be a new minute. That's what it's going to be. Oh. Jack? Whether you walk or run, it doesn't matter, But the direction you're taking is more important.
Starting point is 00:44:48 Think about it. You corrected way too much of that, Jack. Yeah. Oh, I see. Yeah, redo it. And do it wronger this time. Yeah. My eyes totally closed.
Starting point is 00:45:03 All right. Whether you walk or run, it doesn't matter. Oh man, my eyes totally All right, all right, all right We either Walk or run, it doesn't matter But, but, the Direction Is more important Think ab to it The de-erection
Starting point is 00:45:18 Direction? I don't know My name is Akbasa Jonathan, and I want you to always be sincere, whether you mean it or not. What?
Starting point is 00:45:38 That's why it's so great. I think my head just exploded. This next one's better. What? What the hell? I'm Jonna Jine. I wonder whether I have a warden
Starting point is 00:45:53 or a Hitler in disguise. Hitler's in disguise. Hitler's in disguise. There are Hitler's in disguise. Check it out. I got this cool toy toy It's a hot wheel that turns into Hitler Acer, I'm totally knocking you down and stealing Samu Shelton from you I demand that for myself
Starting point is 00:46:16 I love it So, my name's Samu Shelton Here's a photo of me in my living room in pajama pants and shirtless and I'm covering up my tits. And there's hot pink toe shoes. And also you've got like two
Starting point is 00:46:31 huge patches of really nasty pubes poking out over your waistband. I think I've already had my dick tattoo. Mole creeping over the waistband. Tattooed in some more pubes just in case. Alright, so Samu Sheldon. There is no
Starting point is 00:46:47 shame! There are children dressed as hookers and hookers dressed as school children! You don't know whether to carry money or sweet lol! Oh god. I carry both.
Starting point is 00:47:02 I was gonna totally do that in the old man's voice. Candy money. He's just walking around carrying a sack of gummy dollar bills. I think you should do Alex Grok in the old man voice. There you go, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Okay, alright. I just go down watching Big Money Rastlers and that shit was the funniest Motherfucking shit i've ever watched yo Hit it up This movie is more than guaranteed to make you laugh guaranteed to make you laugh.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! I can provide some additional information about this. Big Money Hustlers is the brand new Insane Clown Posse film.
Starting point is 00:47:59 It is the sequel to Big Money Hustlers. Only they're cowboys. Why didn't they call it Big Money Hustlers. Only they're cowboys. Why didn't they call it Big Money Hustlers 2? So we know the progression, you know, for the layperson. Or is this just something you know as an ICP? Because I think it's a preface. It's later in the alphabet.
Starting point is 00:48:20 That's the point. Wait, Juggalos don't have the alphabet. It's going to be called Big Money Bustlers Can I request that Bunnybread read Brandy Rodenberg? Because that's what I've been dreaming this whole day Alright Well, how should we do this? So it's Portax, you're Carolyn And then Boots, you're Scott
Starting point is 00:48:42 And Stog,og your Haley I had a dream last night That Obama will be assassinated Slash removed And a Clinton will come back in Either one Also Also
Starting point is 00:48:55 Also Guys Also The chemtrails got worse over my house And someone tried to assassinate me Due to my spiritual warfare. The spiritual warfare against
Starting point is 00:49:11 the people trying to do this to us. And now I'm scared to pass out the leaflets. Won't stop me though. What the fuck? You are doing the Lord's work, Carolyn Roggendorf. You are doing the Lord's work, Carolyn Roggendorf. You are doing the Lord's work, Carolyn. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:49:28 I'm not giving up. No, no way, no how. Tell my story if I'm killed. Is a spiritual warfare like a tough work party that happens at a church? It's... I've seen that misspelling a lot. It's a person who turns into
Starting point is 00:49:47 a spare at the light of the full moon. I'm $1.65, but $2 if it's rush hour. I am Carolyn's friend, Scott. Keep it up. Don't lose focus. Smiley face with a nose. Protection, keep it up don't lose focus smiley face with a nose protection darling
Starting point is 00:50:10 little do they know Carolyn has already been killed by the government yeah because if chemtrails are coming after you use a condom chemtrails got worse over my head Brandy Rodenberg I'm Brandy Rodenberg and I'm? Yes. I'm Brandy Rodenberg, and I'm here to say, chemtrails are the greatest injustice ever committed since our creation.
Starting point is 00:50:31 Oh, that's the worst rap I've ever heard. Yeah. You don't even rhyme. Get off the stage. Boo. I like the grammar there. Chemtrails are the greatest injustice ever committed since our creation. So number one worst thing, our creation. Number
Starting point is 00:50:46 two, the camera. Very nice. Here's Kayla Greenberg. Come quiet. Will you take Kayla Greenberg, please? To be your lawfully wedded crazy person? I'm Kayla Greenberg,
Starting point is 00:51:07 and I just found out that the pedo had been cheating on me for a while. He took his whore out instead of me and we were still together. Sorry, Diane, but I'm pissed off at how much shit is going on on my back.
Starting point is 00:51:22 Fuck you, Diane. What have we come to where you can't even trust a pedophile these days? I know. It's a sad state of affairs. I thought they were like vampires. They had to take a pet oath or something. They had to. Oh, why?
Starting point is 00:51:41 Tyler Earwood. Turns out my ex-girlfriend was cheating on me sluts these days sluts these days are more promiscuous than they used to be classic day back in the day when sluts were reliable back when sluts were ladies
Starting point is 00:52:01 that's why we called them sluts this is Cody Reed I am done with people talking shit Back when sluts were ladies. That's why we called them slut. This is Cody Reed. I am done with people talking shit. Y'all might not have the best marriage in the world, but at least I am trying. And just because she
Starting point is 00:52:17 does not live with me does not mean she is using me and cheating on me. If you have a problem with me and my wife, just fucking back off and cheating on me. If you have a problem with me and my wife, just fucking back off and leave us alone. She is my world and nothing who punk bitches can
Starting point is 00:52:33 say will change that. Oh yeah. Oh wow. One last one on cheating on me. One last one. Last one on cheating on me. Oh, shit. All right.
Starting point is 00:52:49 Stog, Noel, Noel Bedell. Hello, my name is Noel Bedell. I don't need you, bitch. You did me wrong. Cheating on me. I should have dropped you a long time ago. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Chitty gun me I should have dropped you A long time ago Dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot Now you can see or do Whatever you want
Starting point is 00:53:13 Dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot Cause I don't want you no more Dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot Alright Art Bagdassaroff Alright. Art Bagdazarov. Bagdazarov. Bagdazarov.
Starting point is 00:53:32 Evolutionism, comma, is a pseudoscience masquerading as science. As such, it has been acclaimed as the scientific foundation of atheism, humanism, communism, fascism, imperialism, racism, and a variety of cultic, ethnic, and so-called liberal religions by the respective advocates of these systems. The creation slash evolution issue is, in a very real sense, the most fundamental issue of all.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Evolutionism is a jerk! It makes people fascist, racist, cultist... I like imperialist in there. That's good. To have the far left, the far right, and then, you know,
Starting point is 00:54:20 something a little more to the right, you know, with the imperialism, that'll be good. There's never ever with the imperialism, that'll be good. There's never ever been religious imperialism. I don't know why you gotta talk shit about my homie Art Bagner on solid. Well, then let's cleanse our palate with somebody
Starting point is 00:54:36 who really knows what's going on. Donnie Rollins. Even in death, there's always controversy. Extra comma. Of course, evos will belive the latter story in Christian's The Lady Hope version. Extra comma. Either way, extra comma.
Starting point is 00:54:51 How interesting a life. Two extra commas. H-T-T-E-W-W-W dot ChristianAnchors.net slash Q hyphen A-I-G slash Darwin H-T-M-L. Extra comma. God bless him. Extra comma. Smiles.
Starting point is 00:55:05 W-W-W dot comma. Smiles. www.christiananswer.com. Darwin's spiritual journey from light into darkness and unbelief. Was Darwin a Christian? Did he believe in God? Did he recant evolution when he died? Hyphen Christian A. No, he didn't. I'm dead, and I'm sorry about that whole evolution thing.
Starting point is 00:55:25 Especially because it's not reconcilable with Christianity in any way, shape, or form. That's okay, Garwin. You can just come into heaven anyway. Thanks, guys. Is Christian A what you say now instead of fucking A? Hey! That was Christina. We just misspelled her.
Starting point is 00:55:42 Neater register. Thus, Lucifer became the first evolutionist, and this great lie by which he deceived himself became the basis of his latter deception of Eve and then of the founders of all the varied pantheistic religions of the world, as well as modern evolutionism and, quote, New Age, unquote, philosophies. Nevertheless,
Starting point is 00:56:08 God is still on his throne and quote, the Lamb shall overcome them, colon, for he is the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Revelations 7.14. Hmm. Hmm. That little ending. And there we go
Starting point is 00:56:37 The brave and insightful world of Web 2.0 John, what did you learn this week? I learned that we didn't have to go to certain places to find, you know, really horribly misspelled posts and just, you know, horrible opinions behind those misspelled words. We could just type
Starting point is 00:56:55 them, type whatever the common misspelling would be into this little, uh, these websites, these open book type deals, and it'll come to us. It's true! It's very very true there's a lot of people on facebook and if you just go hey facebook i'm looking for dummies it's not even that you have to find dummies dummies just raise their hand and go i'm dumb hey over here look at my abs yes it's just it's a really easy correlation, because not always, but at least like 99% of the time, that kind of misspelling corresponds with just the blatant ignorance and shittiness of what they say, and you know, just the horribly written things that they put out there.
Starting point is 00:57:37 And it's just, it's just so nice, it's just like, it's just like having a, let's have a podcast button, spam, there. to let's have a podcast button spam there there's a weird thing to facebook which is that you know when facebook got popular and all of a sudden it was like this idea of you know people actually you're using your real name at that point like it's not one of those things where it's like my name's movie man fart fart fart kike you know if your name is movie man you can probably hide behind that and but so as the idea i think was supposed to be like oh you know we your name is movie man you can probably hide behind that and but so as the idea i think was supposed to be like oh you know we'll give people like we'll have people use their real names we'll have them like connect with their sisters and their parents yeah and then and then there'll be a filter of crap like people won't you, people won't talk about their diarrhea if it's in front of their godfather.
Starting point is 00:58:28 But yes, they will. They totally. Yeah, sure. It's a world of fame. And with all we've done, this really is kind of the missing link between real life and Internet. Because you'll see, like, it's Facebook. You know, maybe people have, like, the real life stuff and they'll keep their weird furry juggler shit on the other side. Like you said, under their little dark, scritchy wolf fox kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:58:46 Right, right, right. They just sign on under that name on Facebook and they're like, I need a YIF. It's like, oh, well, I guess this just is real life to you. And it's just people naming themselves. They have nicknames for their nicknames, like the Thumper there and just, yeah. For some people, internet is all too real.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Yeah. That's, that's, it starts real and then it just ebbs into their universe. The website is always the FPL dot us. And of course we have our own Facebook, uh, where you should probably post really personal shit.
Starting point is 00:59:18 If you want to write your first sexual experience, um, on our Facebook page. That would be awesome. We would totally accept it. And maybe we'll give you, we'll like it, we'll hit the little thumbs up button on it. Because with this open book episode, we've gotten so
Starting point is 00:59:36 lazy with how easy content came to us with this. We just want you to send it to us. We're not going to even search anymore. You can submit stuff on the site and you should do that. Yeah, and we've got all the little social networking things. We've got the Facebook. We've got the Twitter. We've got the...
Starting point is 00:59:50 What's the thing? Scratcher? I'm thinking the furry's messed up my mind. Stitcher! There we go. Stitcher. A number of things. Spread it. Tell everybody, hey, these people read fucked up shit. I'm out of here! See you on Facebook. Hopefully not the really weird one.
Starting point is 01:00:06 Goodbye. It's Hokey, manny, manny, man. You sing a bingo, bingo, bingo. And Hokey, Hokey, Hokey, and... You know, guys, I mean, the recording was pretty good, but we didn't get the chicken fuck. Oh, right, stog stuff.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Chicken fuck. That was like the best stuff that we read beforehand, too. What? Chicken fuck. Actually, let's do a little bit of chicken fuck. Okay. Let's do some chicken fuck. I thought we were done.
Starting point is 01:00:38 You thought wrong. Stog found this chicken fuck stuff and we never read it. Stog worked for chicken fuck. Oh my god everything fuck all you zucchini looking culinary arts smelling lactose and lactose and intolerant having skittled chewing eating
Starting point is 01:00:55 oompa loompa looking let me hold a bag asking begging low on a toilet paper having no laundry detergent having sugar bro and burned up chicken cooking eating $500 bond, having can't-pay bail, stuck up in jail, sweaty-weave wig-wearing motherfuckers,
Starting point is 01:01:11 rot-gif-ful-no-fowl, na-im-jip-owl, good morning and happy Labor's Day. Oof. Happy Labor's Day. That was the electrician, Hewitt. Hey, there's one by Rufus Hilde.
Starting point is 01:01:29 What is my mind? I should be asking myself what is warng with me? Man, this girl got me cooking, cleaning, washing. This is shit. I feel like raping with no beat, sleeping with no pillow, and frying chicken with no grease. Damn, she is a beast, and I just want Facebook to know,
Starting point is 01:01:47 and all the haters, fuck you. That wasn't pillow, that was Pio. Pio. Machu Pio. The Kwamare Dominique is totally a spahn. Ha ha, I have balls today. Standing QQ up for myself. Fuck you, LaWayne.
Starting point is 01:02:10 You ain't shite. Stay that ass in school, LaMal. You just didn't get it. Now go play another bitch because, you know, time is up. Single and I don't give a fuck no more dress Lamal do you play me for them Lamal did you forget you had a bad bitch on you arm
Starting point is 01:02:32 haha now you can have them chicken head bitches wow I'm so working at the casual conversation do you um Steve Yahoo! Yahoo! I'm so working on that casual conversation. Do you, um, Yahoo! Steve Laguinas, when you started the lie,
Starting point is 01:02:52 it was funny. Now Udon went crazy talking about I take you out to eat and shit come on you. Now you know damn well you going too far with them lies.
Starting point is 01:03:08 I wouldn't take yo ass to that golden pantry for a chicken snack. Let alone Applebee's, bitch. I didn't do Applebee's. Not to treat.
Starting point is 01:03:27 He's got standards so in this equation Applebee's is the high class place that you do concentrate on your kids and that fat ass so called man who got and leave me that fuck alone please
Starting point is 01:03:44 am warning you, I know how to play in Mud 2. I love Mud 2. It's my best, it's the best sequel to Mud 1.

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