The F Plus - 31: The Antisocial Network
Episode Date: October 11, 2010With an registered userbase of over 500 million, Facebook has not been hindered much by niggling security concerns. Enter YourOpenBook. A site which, like Google, searches through all public prof...iles for people talking about the pressing news of the day, like their uninformed political opinions or details of who is cheating on them now. This week, The F Plus will make you doublecheck your security settings.
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Give me a kiss to build a dream on
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss
Hey there, welcome to F+, Terrible Things, Red Enthusiasm. My name's Lemon.
And I'm John.
And John, if I may ask, do you have a Facebook account?
I'm John.
And,
uh,
John,
if,
if I may ask,
do you have a Facebook account?
I do.
I had along with me and like pretty much everybody I know.
Yes, I have a Facebook.
Everyone in the world.
Yeah,
pretty much.
Um,
you know,
you know,
what's great about,
uh,
Facebook is that you have these,
it says,
it says,
uh,
you know,
Facebook asked you and there's a little box and it says,
what's on your mind right now.
And then sometimes, you know, like I'll go and I'll be hungover
and I have some shitty Mexican food and my ass hurts
because I had some bad Mexican food.
And I feel like I want to tell everyone that thing,
that thing that happened.
That's good, yeah, because I'm actually really addicted
to just getting these meaningless little updates about nothing going on.
So it's nice to just have a whole portal that's devoted to that.
There's a site called youropenbook.org.
And essentially what it is, it's a search engine where you just search through people's updates.
And then everyone who lifts their update public, you can see what they're thinking or not thinking or misspelling.
This originally was passed around as an idea of searching for Mosk, M-O-S-K.
Clearly people who spell Mosk, M-O-S-K, probably have really good thoughts and opinions on mosques.
Yeah, and surely they just wouldn't toss out whatever racist, bigoted shit is in their head.
Just, you know, not check the spelling on anything and just go by phonics on, you know, Arabic words.
You know, they'd be really cogent about it.
Yeah, I think so.
So I think let's do a little bit of that, and then let's move on to see
who wants to tell the internet if they're being
cheated on, or
if they're pussy itches, or
whatever exactly we can find here.
Yeah, sure. Alright, let's get to the readers.
Ladies and
gentlemen!
In the room tonight we have Portex.
Can we make this quick? I need to go build my
mosque over at Ground Zero.
Hey, C.R. Coatl. In the room tonight, we have Portex. Can we make this quick? I need to go build my mosque over at Ground Zero. Ace York Waddle.
No, you can't build a mosque because you can't spell it right.
Boots Reingear.
Boots Reingear needs to yiff a female bad.
Fun Fred.
No mask on 9-1-1.
Stog.
They pronounce mosque in America on red bandana.
John?
Sam tried Faygo for the first time last night
and lived in it. Damn, do my feet hurt.
Jack-Chick?
I died one day ago via Facebook for iPhone.
Kumquat?
Is carrying both money
and sweets.
Iscon?
Actually, I think my new name's
going to be Isfah Licks a Lot of Booty.
And Lemon. They should call it Fuckbook.
They should.
They really should.
Buddy Brett, I want you to
click on that, and then you're going to need to
scroll down to start the story here.
This is Michael Lancer Summers.
Normally when you do an ab shot,
you know you have abs.
He just wants you to know that he shaved his pubes.
Okay.
Hi, y'all, this is Michael Lancer Summers,
and I want to say what up to Kayla Marie Summers.
I love her to death and wonder what else you want for the world.
Hey, damn, I love you to death and one day I'll be all alone for the world. Hey,
damn, I love you.
He fell off a cliff as he said that.
Alright, next post.
Man, can't life get
much worse? Frowny frowns.
I have nothing for that
my K-Bird. She is my life
and so is the kids.
All right, next post.
I love Kayla more than anything.
And I love the kids too.
Heart.
Facebook really needs a dislike button, you know?
Law.
I love you, Kayla Marie.
Wish me luck on my job interview.
Love you, baby.
Okay, that's all from a couple days ago.
Let's scroll to Saturday here.
Saturday at 2.25 p.m.
Love and marriage.
Love and marriage.
Go together like a horse and carriage.
Oh, deep face.
All right, what's his post after that?
That's my favorite song, D.
Happy D-Face, D.
All right, what's his next post after that?
Kayla Marie Cran was cheating on me the whole fucking time.
Well, that bitch can fucking die in fucking hell with her fucking kids.
She can fuck on her fucking fuck that she fucked in on, y'all.
My name's
Tony Weekly. Whoa, whoa,
whoa. Don't you dare.
Damn kids to hell, Mike.
Who can't do it to her but not
babies?
No, that bitch deserved it.
Michael, not about
babies. I don't care about her
but not about babies. I don't care about her, but not about babies.
I'm going to be Nikita, some kind of angular thing, Zeta, Renee Clark.
Really, if you want my help to make her stop, don't talk about her kids' plos.
She won't stop anyway.
She has NW, hasn't she?
Way too far Nikki
I'm sorry but if I had a kid
And made a mistake I wouldn't want people
To say I know she was in the wrong
I'm sorry
You didn't deserve to be cheated on
But you deserve better And you will find better, I know.
From what my sister did, you were my Christian.
So seriously, stop the BS, everyone.
And for you to say that about it is said kids kids. That's fucked up.
Seriously, stop this shit
with the kids.
They did shit to you.
Stop doing shit, then.
Mikey, please be nice.
You can be mean to her,
but to bring little kids into this,
please.
Does she just actually want him to bring little kids into this, please. Oh. Does she just actually want him
to bring little kids into this? Oh, yes.
Oh.
Toughen them right up, those little shits.
Being damned to hell tends to toughen up a kid.
Okay, what's that?
I wasn't that sure I am when me
and fucking Kylo were dating.
Ass brutal.
I just can't. I don't know you personally
but you brought the kids
down in the middle
and that is the one thing that
pisses me the fuck off
oh
they do nothing
they are idle shit children
she keeps trying different spellings of innocent.
Maybe she'll just keep going at it until she gets one that works.
I don't deserve you to talk about them like that.
They can't even defend themselves for crying out loud.
Well, maybe you should tell Kayla to stop fucking saying I was cheating on her when I fucking wasn't.
I ain't the fucking cheating type.
Oh, man.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Well, maybe it's time to stop talking the shit as well as Americans.
That is bullshit.
Why are you taking a crap while you're signing into Facebook?
I don't understand.
But yet you're back with Shane,
another ex that you said you hardly ever talked true
Seems so suck Pisces to me
Is going on my
Mike me and Shay
wait no
me and Shay hardly talk when me and
Kyler were together
Shay was dating a guy named
Friday as far as I know
dating a guy named
Friday yeah Joe Friday
yeah
all right so
so what's your next post?
Okay.
Michael Lancer Stimmers.
Okay, yo. Tongue hurts just a
tiny bit. Stupid face.
Stupid face.
Yeah, I think you need to end every
sentence with this guy's stupid face.
Math plus CMT
equals hearth. Yo, man,
I passed geometry.
I think it's a little messed up when people
start saying I love you after one day
of dating. Kind of irritating. But me
and her have known each other for a long time.
Backwards happy face, somehow funny face.
I'd like to imagine he's making all these faces
as he's talking to someone in real life.
Just turning his head to the side constantly.
Holy shit, he's updating
every few minutes.
Oh yeah.
F plus live.
We're going to catch up with him, yeah.
Night, love,
three, better than something tired of being
ignored you know what damn hi is this Fucking hate it on them haters, man
It's them stretch now
And a lot of apostrophes up on this bitch
A lot of apostrophes
Hey Mike, what do you hate?
Very little, it appears
I hate when you say a girl's gonna get hurt
and someone automatically takes it and says,
I'm gonna fucking hit a girl.
Well, one of the five.
They should have seen it coming. What can I say?
Wow.
Jesus.
Well, word of advice.
I won't hit a goddamn girl. It ain't worth going to
fucking jail over.
He'll damn them to hell,
but he won't punch them. We'll get to that
later. I'm sure he'll damn someone to hell.
You're gonna get hurt by me, but I'm not gonna hit
you or nothing.
Well, maybe he'll just
flick their ear or something.
Oh, yeah. He constructed an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine
out of red bandanas that will hit them.
Not him.
Wow.
People starting shit. Not cool.
Tell me to get the fuck out of the house
and I'll get the fuck out
and you won't ever see me again. Ever.
I'm sorry you're upset.
Cheer up. Everything will be okay.
Oh, okay then.
Crisis averted.
That was a close one.
Bitch was about to get hurt.
Not by me.
And now Mike's in a relationship with Shea
and Turek.
Oh, okay. So we're going to skip up ahead now.
I love my Shea, baby.
And my son Connor.
Yay!
Oh, this ended nice.
Yummy. Marlboro
Reyes backwards half a face.
That's the real twist ending there.
Alright.
Alright, so kill us on Wicked Ninja Clown.
Yeah, I was just going to ask,
are we going to be using their real names?
Because I don't know if the Ninja Clown family
wants to be exposed
to this kind of publicity.
The Michigan Ninja Clowns are a very
respected family, and they would rather not have
this scandal on their heads.
His name is Kill a Thump Wicked
Ninja Clown, but I have a nickname. It's Thumper.
No, no.
His family came through Ellis Island
on a Friday afternoon.
I just wanted to get them to know it was...
First of all, I'm
a wicked clown juggalo
representing the Dark Carnival
forever.
I like the way I am
and I ain't gonna change
number four, no number one.
Second,
I don't need no help,
my nigger. I can do bad on my
own meaning. I don't need no
number one or nothing
number two get me through life.
So he doesn't need piss to get through life.
Through as in
the verb.
Yeah.
Grand Prairie.
I dedicate fear by boondocks
number to my unborn child
Robert Lee.
Daddy will be there
learn before you no matter
what. He has
number to do.
I love you, buddy boy,
and I will make you proud.
Let's cut forward.
How many
days is this? 15 hours later.
This is 15 hours later.
About number two,
say, fuck my baby mama,
drop her ass,
and give me a new
fitment.
And somebody just needs to read Christopher Matthews response to that.
Got your back ninja. And also, also it says Brianna Combs likes this,
and Brianna Combs is the girl in question.
All right, so who's going to play Brianna?
Because this fight is awesome.
All right, so poor tax your Brianna Combs.
All right, take it.
No, who ended it?
I just said the words.
Because I didn't tell who I stayed
with a friend who don't like.
Yes, and because
who lied number two me
and even though who was in
the wrong, who blamed me.
It's my
fault. No, wait.
It's my fault.
It's my fault who didn't tell me and it's my fault who No, wait. No, my... It's my fault. It's my fault.
Who didn't tell me?
And it's my fault.
Who lied number two minutes.
You're probably gonna say it's my fault.
Who cheated, right?
Wow, that is fault three times in a row.
I know.
Oh, he's consistent, if nothing.
It's a triple fault.
So intense. No, if nothing. It's a triple fall. So intense.
No, all me!
But the reason U said things was
because I didn't tell U and U said
why stop now wasted eight months so far.
Because it's
what U want. U said
it herself. U just
be around number
four, Robert, and Nguyen
else, and number two, number four, Kat, and Nguyen Els, and number two,
number four, Kat, about
Boo and Maddie.
Oh, I see.
That makes sense.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, yeah,
because of the fighting.
And if Boo didn't, also,
Boo wouldn't have said it.
What fighting? I don't think they fight.
They're having a discussion. They're just're just like catapulting random words to each other it's sometimes not even that
this is constitute as a fight don't fight some words on them they're
mathematicians they're fighting with numbers this is all been just high-level algebra. Say what?
Ooh, we're done!
Nope didn't come out of my mouth till ooh told me number two say it.
I told ooh who I stayed with and ooh said it after.
Yup, I told ooh I don't want her around. She's a stuck-up little cunt who don't know a goddamn thing
about me September 4th.
What? Who told her
which ain't a goddamn thing?
Oh, now it makes sense.
Yeah, that ain't a goddamn thing.
But my friend who is here for me
and because she said something to
Oh she can't be around him
It's just like Tosha
Oh it is just like Tosha
Forget it Jake it's Tosha Town
So Tasha Corsi's drama
Cause she's an attention seeking bitch
Who thinks everything should go her way
And you know fuck that little bitch
She can burn in fucking hell.
Me? How?
I'd like to point out that Mr. Ninja
Clown here spells causes.
C-O-S-S-I-S.
Cosis.
Oh, also did I point out that she's
eight months pregnant?
Oh, wow.
There's more. It's not her
first.
She's got two kids. Also, There's more. It's not her first. Oh, dear.
She's got two kids.
Also, she's 19.
Yeah, I was just going to say, she's probably at the ripe old age of 19.
Three kids are to be expected.
That's the de facto standard.
Damn, he's really going after grandmas there.
Quiver full of clown arrows.
That's a clown. A little clown bone. All right, keep going.
Ock, Papal, who don't like for, to me, stupid reason,
can't be around him, but they are good, Papal.
What the fuck does that mean?
If she thinks
I'm a horrible fucking
person, even though I've been through new in butthole
and still stuck around number to try and fix things,
I stopped smoking and have been sober from drugs
for number four over a month.
Know that she's a bitch.
No, not good people.
Oh, wow.
M-U-N-T-H.
I've been sober anyway.
She's a bitch.
If we're talking about Amber, the reason she thinks
that is because
what? Who say to me
other than that? Nothing.
You deserve
about 90% of what
I say.
I will admit I get out of line every once in a while,
but it's just very hard.
Number four, me.
Number two, number four, me.
Oh, number four, that's who did.
Number two, me.
You really have no idea how bad that fucked me up.
I really have no idea
how bad that fucked me up, too.
I just lost my vocabulary.
Wow.
I have no idea what the fuck is happening.
Almost done.
All right.
Him not asking for
ooh to number four give every time we fight ooh,
bring it up, and it has nothing to do with half or what is going on.
What?
What is going on?
You heard her.
Number two day.
Well, holy shit.
Him who did everything
goes back to Thut, and now
the only thing is the buh-bye
other than Thut is me!
And Thut is what
you tell me.
Now, for people listening at home,
you may think Thut is some
sort of misspelling, but it's actually Ninja
Clown throwing ninja stars at her.
And barely missing.
Oh no!
Ninja Clown stars.
And that was the last, so Brianna
got the last word here.
English, how does it work?
Apparently not at all.
So I've got
a big
search of Mosk. M-O-S big search of Mosk.
M-O-S-K.
Mosk.
But Lemon, Mosk isn't spelled that way.
I don't understand.
No, it's not spelled that way.
You're absolutely correct.
But some people believe that it's spelled that way.
And people who do believe that have some very interesting opinions.
Sir, I find that difficult to swallow.
I'm going to have to ask for some proof.
Oh, well, I'm so glad you asked.
Here we go.
We left in the picture so that you know what everyone looks like.
Wow.
White people, huh? Shocker.
No, there's some Mexicans.
No, there's some...
Okay, there's some Mexicans.
Alright, alright. So Acer, start it out.
Adam Kenneth Griswold.
I think I figured something out.
Whoever it was that came up with the idea
that the world was gonna end
in 2012 is the same
mass turd who came up with the idea
to build a Muslim mosque
in front of Drowned Zero
and the same person that is causing all these
massive oil leaks in our wonderful ocean sink. It's time to find that dude
and give him an old-fashioned lynchin.
Oh, dear.
Whoa.
Oh, my.
He's figuring something out.
I don't even know how to react to it.
It's against capital L, so it's
David Lynchin. This sounds like a job for
Basil Marceau.
Alright, Portex, you're up next Fucking hairy monkey balls
That Barack Hussein Osama Obama
What the fuck?
Can you imagine those fucking narrow-minded
Ignorant population of a made-up country
They'll be crying and screaming
You can't do that, Jesus was born here
Saddam Obama.
He'll have the last laugh. Fucking yanks.
Not even American?
Pretty
cogent. No, I looked up this guy.
This guy is British,
and he's one of those people that spells
F-I-N-K.
Oh, yeah.
It's like the Cockney.
Alright, I'm
Aaron Pauling. You are.
Ah, yes.
The day is finally upon us.
Eminem is back in concert
for the first time in years.
This song slash video
has been stuck
in my head recently due to the Muslims who want to build a mosque at Ground Zero in New York City.
Wake up, people.
Educate yourselves if you haven't already.
This song slash video gives me the chills.
It's like the ultimate
adrenaline rush for me.
But please listen to the lyrics
if you haven't already.
Don't let her be ignorant.
Eminem for president.
Letter N.
I'm not even kidding.
Whoever's
Zoom.
Educate yourself. Get Eminem for president. Educate yourself, Eminem for president. whoever's educate yourself educate yourself
Eminem for president
a few people know this but Eminem would run on a
pro education platform
if anyone would
well
Mr. John Pendleton has this to say
this guy's great
Charles Reingold
You got in trouble for some backdoor stuff
You were coughed doing
You and others
You and others in Congress
Don't believe in following the Constitution
Unless it is convidient
You hence have no say
In your support of a mosque at ground zero.
Freedom of religion, you don't even support an unintelligent liberal congressman.
What?
What?
What?
You read exactly what was there.
All right, so I'm lucky enough to end up with Chris Henshaw Vale.
All right, Chris Henshaw Vale.
Let's have some fun.
This mosque is sick. I want to take a ride in your curry Vale. Alright, Chris Henshaw Vale. Let's have some fun. This mosque is sick.
I want to take a ride in your curry stick.
Yeah, baby!
Sorry, that says
Babby.
Yeah, that's more like it.
Yeah, Babby.
No, no, you don't extend the Y, you extend the B.
It's B.
So far, Chris Henshaw
is the most likable person in this list.
You guys are all liberals.
It helps that Chris Henshaw looks like David Bowie.
It looks like he'd look like
Austin Scarlett from the first season of Project Runway.
I was thinking
more of a white Grace Jones.
You're not wrong.
He's not going to be typecast.
All right, Priscilla.
Oh, man.
Priscilla, Priscilla.
This is very much a good...
Priscilla, Mancilla.
No, Priscilla Mancias.
And that means it's Priscia Mancias.
Priscia Mancias.
Priscia Mancias.
This is what they did to us. and they want to build a mosque.
What?
It would be a travesty if we allow them to build here their Mosley Mosque.
Never America, never forget what the Mosley did to us and what the mosque represent.
Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
Anger, no other word at this point.
www.youtube.com.
Star, star, star.
Warning, this video is a traffic movie
of people jumping from the WTC
and other disturbing scenes.
Star, star, star.
The attacks on the World Trade Center.
World Trade Center.
The attack.
So she had to actually post a video
of the World Trade Center attack
in case people weren't familiar with what happened.
She said, never forget.
You forgot.
Yeah, she doesn't realize
never forget.
You weren't literally hoping people
wouldn't forget.
Alright, John, you're next.
Alex Milton.
Little known fact about the mosque near ground zero
situation. The building that
shows is a building in which one of the
engines form, one of
the planes that crashed until the twin
towers landed.
So to all of you saying
it's arbitrary, let them have their
mosque. I say, fuck you,
asshole.
Because this is their
attempt at the ultimate bitch slap.
As if a major terrorist
attack wasn't enough.
So, Al-Qaeda having a meeting.
Alright, we will
drive planes into their buildings.
Uh-huh. Then what?
Then, several decades later,
we will build a wreck center.
Ah!
Thundercrash.
Ha ha ha!
Then his little sidekick shows up. you say, you're horrible, Ness
That sounds good as a starter
Kind of a jumpy off point
But what else you got?
Fuck you, that's an okay bitch slap
But here comes the ultimate bitch slap
We're gonna build and pay taxes
You guys have us all backwards We're going to build and pay taxes.
No, you guys have us all backwards.
At first they were just like, man, we really want to build this rec center right here.
But there's some twin towers already there.
What can we do?
I got it.
It all makes sense now.
Donovan Brown.
If I wasn't all busted up and old
I would join the Ezra
Aliyah army
nuke Iraq and Iran until
President or the Soviet Union
George Bush told me to do it
and that has
hiding in a mosque in Pennsylvania
heavily armed
and guarded
he
cannot fail heavily armed and guarded. He, he.
What the fuck?
I thought a plane cannot fail.
That is absolutely brilliant.
That's like, and then I'm gonna,
if I wasn't so old and shit, I'd go down to the Air Force, and I'd steal a plane,
and I'd fly out there, and then I'd nuke them,
and then they'd capture it, and I'd tell them that, you know,
like, the Russians did it, and then I'd
break out, and I'd stab them all, and then I'd
I'd throw them in the water, and that's what it needed then I break out and I stab them all and then I...
I got up and I was there.
Are you saying that this elderly
gentleman may have the attitudes and opinions
of a seven-year-old?
No.
He's a seven-year-old.
Mr. Brown, thank you for coming all the way to
Israel to join our army. I see that you're
rather old, so we're going to put you in charge of nuclear
arms.
I know it's your first day on the job, but we trust you.
Anyway, here's the button, and go ahead and ask questions.
Hey, guys, I'm looking forward to Donovan Brown's latest techno thriller,
The President is Hiding in a Mosque in Pennsylvania.
The Pennsylvania
window.
I would genuinely read the shit out of that.
Well, I would accomplish what
an entire military and intelligence infrastructure
couldn't do in, like, nearly a
decade, said Donovan Brown, but my
back hurts.
Alright.
So this is Charles Cassie and he has
a Jesus flag as
his profile picture.
Maybe he's a sentient Jesus flag.
Jesus flags can type.
And better than most humans that are on Facebook.
In my
opinion, irregardless
if President Barack
Obama visits a mosque,
or not one of us Muslim or otherwise unless you're Republican,
should stop at symbol Walmart, Home Depot, BP, Arco, AM, PM, or Target stores.
And facilities for the coming two months,
especially not that school is
about to begin, being that
Republicans seem to have
replicans.
Yeah, get that right.
Being that replicans
seem to have something
other than 9-11
against this and other groups of people.
Holy shit, you're
right! Holy shit, you're right.
Holy shit, you're what?
You're incoherent.
Yeah, just holy shit, I guess.
Man, after every one of these,
I just instinctively want to be like,
no, I don't have any change.
I'm sorry, I don't have any change.
It's just like muscle memory of that.
All right.
Come what? My name is Richard Allen Davey. muscle memory of that. Alright. Tomquat?
My name is Richard Allen Davey.
Good night world.
Say a prayer for peace and no
mosque. Mosque.
Mosque. However the hell
they spell it in New York.
What?
They spell it correctly the first time and then proceeds
to spell it incorrectly. I don't know how they spell it here, but they
spell it differently in New York.
Why the fuck would they build a mosque
in the 911 site?
That is so fucking disrespectful.
Whenever that thing is done,
hopefully someone blows it up.
What?
That sucks that they blew up those towers
in that area. I hope someone blows up this
new building. That'll show them.
It's John Pendleton again.
Yay! Funny bread. We're back to John Pendleton.
Oh, goody.
Hey, Pelosi. I pay my
taxes. You as a member
of Congress works for me.
In spite of you being from
California, as one of your
baddy bosses,
you need to be investigated for favor of
the mosque at ground zero not your boss is the citizen of the cut wait no shit
yes this this seems too well written I was getting tripped up over there well
spelt words it's not okay not your boss is the citizens of this country whom are
against that mosque.
You seem to forget that there's an amendment called the first which protects us as
free speech.
Before you say I'm not from New York,
neither are you.
Oh my god.
I think John Pendleton needs to do more with this.
He has Nancy Pelosi as
a Facebook friend.
I'm really angry that you
supported something.
My reason is the First Amendment.
Stop saying things.
You shouldn't be allowed to do this thing
because it's free speech.
I'm free speech.
I'm Brian Sloop.
I think he would
bring a strip and go naked to the party.
Yes, he would.
I like this guy because he explains things to us.
Oh, good.
For those of you who don't know, Obama's communist ass is about to build a mosque.
For those of you who don't know what a mosque is It's basically A Muslim place of worship
I find this super fucked up
Because the reason the twin towers
Are gone
I'm the first place
Is because Muslim terrorists
Blew them up
Oh man, whistle has been blown
He's uncovered a conspiracy. Follow
the money. Oh, my God.
Brandon Monk. Brandon Monk is
great. Let's see.
Who's up next? That's me. Oh, yeah.
Do a boot to your champion.
Brandon Monk.
Watching The Daily Show with
Jon Stewart. There's a building in Musk
at Ground Zero. God damn, let's just
give him a nuke and take over New York.
No big deal. They're just terrorists.
No big deal. La la la la la. So
funny, though.
No, actually, it's
foony.
It's foony.
They need a cock in the ass. Make them do it again.
Right now.
I think Stogg wanted to do this fat dog.
Fat dog alert.
Oh, you really want that? Alright, go for it.
Her name is Penny McGarry Carer.
I'm Penny McGarry Carer
and I'm a fat dog.
Governor Patrick,
I really like
when you came to Buffalo for the St. Patrick's Day parade.
I felt you were on our side.
Now with the debate about the Muslims beating the mosque, you are really becoming too political.
Ask us a human and you will respond differently.
Oh!
You know, actually, I think that probably made her more comprehensible.
That's true.
Buddy Brent, Grover after going to the dentist.
Yeah.
I forgot my wisdoms pulled.
Is this forever?
All right.
My name is
Saeed Uzaman.
Get fucking robbed in a mosque.
Okay.
Get fucking robbed in a mosque.
Get fucking robbed in a mosque Get fucking robbed in the mosque
Do it
Go get robbed in the mosque
Alright John
This is CJ Campbell
Obama supports the building of the mosque
Or however you spell it next to ground zero
Come on please
What's next the Japs building a memorial at Pearl Harbor
Talk about slapping the citizens of this great country in the face
Obama needs to run
for president in some other country so he can
be with his idiot people.
I hate those idiot people.
He needs to run for president of Idiota.
What's that?
It's not been culturally
acceptable to say Japs for about
50 years?
It's been 65 years since World War II.
Somebody's got to keep the old racism II. Somebody's gotta keep the old
racism alive. That's why I'm here.
King of the old school. Alright, Jack.
Alright. This is
Derek Paquin.
I am so tired of the PC country we live in
and we don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
Would Saudi Arabia put up a
Christian church? Hell no, they wouldn't!
And if you still believe that the towers
were dropped by Al-Qaeda, it's too late, enjoy the woe!
Yay! Here comes the NWO!
Oh, that's great.
The New World Order.
They used to face off against WCW in the early 2000s.
I was more a fan of Degeneration X.
Suck it! You know more about it of Degeneration X. Suck it.
Yeah.
You know more about it than I do, apparently.
Don't put the mosque not because of terrorist connections,
but because this is a Christian nation.
In God we trust, well, it used to be.
Oh, well, this is an inherent fear of all Muslims,
thinking they're all terrorists.
This is just good old-fashioned religious intolerance.
It's like comfort food for a black heart.
I also love, what was it?
Well, no, she may be smarter than she seems, though, just because, you know,
she said the exact same thing that Newt Gingrich said about, you know,
Saudi Arabia not having Christian churches.
I mean, she has the same thoughts that he does.
So, you know.
They shouldn't be allowed to build a mosque near Ground Zero because they shouldn't be allowed to build a mosque in America.
Because what would this country look like if you were actually able to build a mosque anywhere in America?
It would be weird and different.
It would be weird and different.
My name is Matt Rosencrantz. If we as Americans allow a mosque
to be built at ground number zero,
I will fly a plane
into it and fuck the shit
out of some virgins in heaven.
That's not how it works.
Sorry, Matt.
If a Muslim who could kiss my American ass.
Sorry, Matt.
Kiss my American ass!
Brothers!
Sisters! Listen to Michael Tate!
The revelation said that the oceans turned red like blood.
Who would have ever thought it would have been
from oil? And the temple was built
since America is considered
the new Jerusalem.
Could this be referring to the mosque debate
going on in New York right now?
And there was an eclipse like never seen before.
Could this be referring
to the 2012 solar alignment?
Something to think about for the day, Michael
Tate.
He may never just be one certain kind of
crazy. Does he end all of
his wall posts with Michael Tate?
No, no, no. That was something to think about for the day.
My name.
Think about Michael Tate for the day.
No more taskless
than putting a mosque at the 9-11
site. Isn't funny how
the Dems start crying dirty politics, but
say it clean when they do it.
Then the Democratic News
Medica back them up.
Thank God for Fox Rush
and the rest.
News.yahoo.com
The family of the late Robert C. Beard
blasted the GOP nominee
for his U.S. Senate seat
Sunday after he used an image from
Beard's memorial service in a TV ad
attacking the Democratic nominee.
Sen Beard's family
denounces campaign attack
ad.
Bobby Buggner.
I'm not sure which voice to use for this.
Whatever the dumbest voice you have
on hand is.
I'm using it.
Follow your heart.
He starts with a question.
Do you have a professorial voice?
I do have one voice.
29 out of 6?
What's this number's significance?
The number of working Americans who lost
their lives in the Twin Towers attack
on September 11, 2001.
Gromitas!
Do you get pissed off anew every time
you hear this attack on Americans on American soil
like Aldar?
And now the people who share the same religious beliefs as the ones who perpetrated this want to build a mosque.
Intentional.
You're the scene of the crime.
Wake up!
What if I'm already awake?
Okay, honey, I don't think we can let you watch Sesame Street anymore.
Okay, honey, I don't think we can let you watch Sesame Street anymore.
Elmer's a racist!
Racist against cookie monsters.
I want to do Ricky McDonald here.
Alright.
Politicans and U.S. military generals plead their case that burning the Quran will undermine the
safety of the U S troops who are defending Muslims from Al-Qaeda in
Afghanistan and are already putting very lives in danger every day.
Yet I have heard as into gathered together move in a single direction no politikin
or military leader
condom
or
refer to the
building of a Muslim mosque
at ground zero
the hell
no Al-Qaeda is a really bad
disease we do need to defend the Muslims from it What the hell? No, Al-Qaeda is a really bad disease.
We do need to defend the Muslims from it.
Al-Qaeda is what you get when you've got a tummy ache.
Two seltzers.
Oh, that's right.
That's true.
Oh, no, before those rechargeable batteries,
I used to keep using the Al-Qaeda ones.
Those little red squiggly lines that keep appearing under our words?
Muslim conspiracy.
Yes.
I just called those eye worms.
Bunny bread? Okay.
I just hate a freeze ray.
To anyone
who may have seen a post on my page
about the mosque at ground zero,
first
I must take responsibility for my own
stupidity in not checking this
out before I posted it but it is a
story that the hate monitors in this country are twisted and inflamed to suit their own needs
it isn't even a mosque that they want to build and it is sincerely not a gladiator i apologize
I apologize.
Yay!
Oh, Facebook just got a little bit smarter.
Yeah.
Thank you, Mrs. Freezeray.
Well, you gotta get the facts straight before you take over the world. All right, let's see.
So, I believe I'm next.
So, I'm Christy Cragen.
If there was ever a doubt
in my mind as to whether or not mental illness was real, not anymore.
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe.
She believes now.
I heard she believes.
So is that the official pronunciation?
It's weether?
Yes.
All right, John.
All right.
Christopher Fellini.
Weether we see it or not,
he is making treasures from the past things
which have and still do hinder us.
He is in control.
He docent like that we are suffering from the past,
which is why every minute is a new minute.
Oh,
wow.
Done.
Asterix hyphen.
New beginnings are of a billet every second of every day.
I would have gone with Avobyle,
but hyphen. A billet. Asterix. A billet. What is it going to be? Every day! I would have gone with avabile, but yours is mid-two.
Hyphen, asterisk.
What is it going to be?
What is it going to be? That's the question.
What is it or is it not going to be?
It's going to be a new minute. That's what it's going to be.
Oh.
Jack?
Whether you walk or run, it doesn't
matter, But the direction
you're taking is more important.
Think about it.
You corrected way too much of that, Jack.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, redo it.
And do it wronger this time.
Yeah.
My eyes totally closed.
All right.
Whether you walk or run, it doesn't matter. Oh man, my eyes totally All right, all right, all right We either
Walk or run, it doesn't matter
But, but, the
Direction
Is more important
Think ab to it
The de-erection
Direction? I don't know
My name is
Akbasa
Jonathan, and I want
you to always
be sincere, whether
you mean it or not.
What?
That's why it's so great.
I think my head just exploded.
This next one's better.
What?
What the hell?
I'm Jonna Jine.
I wonder
whether I have a warden
or a Hitler in disguise.
Hitler's in disguise.
Hitler's in disguise.
There are Hitler's in disguise.
Check it out. I got this cool toy toy It's a hot wheel that turns into Hitler
Acer, I'm totally knocking you down
and stealing Samu Shelton from you
I demand that for myself
I love it
So, my name's Samu Shelton
Here's a photo of me
in my living room in pajama pants
and shirtless and I'm covering
up my tits. And there's
hot pink toe shoes.
And also you've got like two
huge patches of really nasty pubes
poking out over your waistband.
I think I've already had my dick tattoo.
Mole creeping over
the waistband.
Tattooed in some more pubes just in case.
Alright, so Samu Sheldon.
There is no
shame! There are
children dressed as hookers
and hookers dressed as
school children! You don't know
whether to carry money or sweet
lol!
Oh god.
I carry both.
I was gonna totally do that in the
old man's voice.
Candy money.
He's just walking around carrying
a sack of gummy dollar bills.
I think you should do Alex Grok in the
old man voice.
There you go, yeah.
Okay, alright.
I just go
down watching Big Money
Rastlers and that shit was the funniest
Motherfucking shit i've ever watched yo
Hit it up
This movie is more than guaranteed to make you laugh
guaranteed to make you laugh.
Whoop!
Whoop! Whoop!
Whoop!
I can provide some additional
information about this.
Big Money Hustlers is the
brand new
Insane Clown Posse film.
It is the sequel to
Big Money Hustlers.
Only they're cowboys. Why didn't they call it Big Money Hustlers. Only they're cowboys.
Why didn't they call it Big Money Hustlers 2?
So we know the progression, you know, for the layperson.
Or is this just something you know as an ICP?
Because I think it's a preface.
It's later in the alphabet.
That's the point.
Wait, Juggalos don't have the alphabet.
It's going to be called Big Money Bustlers Can I request that Bunnybread read Brandy Rodenberg?
Because that's what I've been dreaming this whole day
Alright
Well, how should we do this?
So it's Portax, you're Carolyn
And then Boots, you're Scott
And Stog,og your Haley
I had a dream last night
That Obama will be assassinated
Slash removed
And a Clinton will come back in
Either one
Also
Also
Also
Guys
Also
The chemtrails got worse over my house
And someone tried to assassinate me
Due to my spiritual
warfare.
The spiritual warfare against
the people trying to do this to us.
And now
I'm scared to pass out the leaflets.
Won't stop me though.
What the fuck?
You are doing the Lord's work, Carolyn Roggendorf. You are doing the Lord's work, Carolyn Roggendorf.
You are doing the Lord's work, Carolyn.
Oh my god.
I'm not giving up.
No, no way, no how.
Tell my story if I'm killed.
Is a spiritual warfare
like a tough work party that happens at a church?
It's...
I've seen that misspelling a lot.
It's a person who turns into
a spare at the light of the full moon.
I'm $1.65, but $2
if it's rush hour.
I am Carolyn's friend, Scott.
Keep it up.
Don't lose focus.
Smiley face with a nose.
Protection, keep it up don't lose focus smiley face with a nose protection darling
little do they know Carolyn has already been killed
by the government
yeah because if chemtrails are coming
after you use a condom
chemtrails got worse over my head
Brandy Rodenberg
I'm Brandy Rodenberg and I'm? Yes. I'm Brandy Rodenberg, and I'm here to say,
chemtrails are the greatest injustice ever committed since our creation.
Oh, that's the worst rap I've ever heard.
Yeah.
You don't even rhyme.
Get off the stage.
Boo.
I like the grammar there.
Chemtrails are the greatest injustice ever committed since our creation.
So number one worst thing, our creation. Number
two, the camera.
Very nice.
Here's Kayla
Greenberg.
Come quiet. Will you take
Kayla Greenberg, please?
To be your lawfully wedded crazy person?
I'm Kayla Greenberg,
and I just found out that the
pedo had been cheating on me
for a while.
He took his whore out instead of me
and we were still together. Sorry,
Diane, but I'm pissed off
at how much shit is going on
on my back.
Fuck you, Diane.
What have we come to where you can't even trust a pedophile these days?
I know.
It's a sad state of affairs.
I thought they were like vampires.
They had to take a pet oath or something.
They had to.
Oh, why?
Tyler Earwood.
Turns out my ex-girlfriend was cheating on me
sluts these days
sluts these days are more promiscuous
than they used to be
classic day
back in the day when sluts were reliable
back when sluts were ladies
that's why we called them sluts
this is Cody Reed
I am done with people talking shit Back when sluts were ladies. That's why we called them slut. This is Cody Reed.
I am done with people talking shit.
Y'all might not have
the best marriage in the world,
but at least I am trying.
And just because she
does not live with me does not
mean she is using
me and cheating on me.
If you have a problem with me and my wife, just fucking back off and cheating on me. If you have a problem
with me and my wife, just fucking
back off and leave us alone.
She is my world
and nothing who punk bitches can
say will change that.
Oh yeah.
Oh wow.
One last one on cheating on me.
One last one.
Last one on cheating on me.
Oh, shit.
All right.
Stog, Noel, Noel Bedell.
Hello, my name is Noel Bedell.
I don't need you, bitch.
You did me wrong.
Cheating on me.
I should have dropped you a long time ago.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Chitty gun me I should have dropped you A long time ago Dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot Now you can see or do
Whatever you want
Dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot
Cause I don't want you no more
Dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot
Alright
Art Bagdassaroff Alright. Art
Bagdazarov.
Bagdazarov.
Bagdazarov.
Evolutionism, comma,
is a pseudoscience
masquerading as science.
As such, it has been
acclaimed as the scientific
foundation of atheism,
humanism, communism, fascism, imperialism, racism, and a variety of cultic, ethnic, and so-called liberal religions by the respective advocates of these systems.
The creation slash evolution issue is, in a very real sense, the most fundamental issue of all.
Evolutionism is a jerk!
It makes people
fascist, racist,
cultist...
I like imperialist in there.
That's good.
To have the far left,
the far right, and then, you know,
something a little more to the right,
you know, with the imperialism,
that'll be good.
There's never ever with the imperialism, that'll be good. There's never
ever been religious imperialism.
I don't know why you gotta talk shit about
my homie Art Bagner on solid.
Well, then let's cleanse our palate with somebody
who really knows what's going on. Donnie Rollins.
Even in
death, there's always controversy.
Extra comma.
Of course, evos will belive the latter story
in Christian's The Lady Hope version.
Extra comma.
Either way, extra comma.
How interesting a life.
Two extra commas.
H-T-T-E-W-W-W dot ChristianAnchors.net
slash Q hyphen A-I-G slash Darwin H-T-M-L.
Extra comma.
God bless him.
Extra comma.
Smiles.
W-W-W dot comma. Smiles. www.christiananswer.com.
Darwin's spiritual journey from light into darkness and unbelief.
Was Darwin a Christian?
Did he believe in God?
Did he recant evolution when he died?
Hyphen Christian A.
No, he didn't.
I'm dead, and I'm sorry about that whole evolution thing.
Especially because it's not reconcilable with Christianity in any way, shape, or form.
That's okay, Garwin.
You can just come into heaven anyway.
Thanks, guys.
Is Christian A what you say now instead of fucking A?
Hey!
That was Christina.
We just misspelled her.
Neater register.
Thus, Lucifer became the first evolutionist,
and this great lie by which he deceived himself
became the basis of his latter deception of Eve
and then of the founders of all the varied pantheistic religions of the world,
as well as modern evolutionism and, quote,
New Age, unquote,
philosophies. Nevertheless,
God is still on his throne
and quote, the Lamb shall
overcome them, colon, for he is
the Lord of Lords and King of
Kings. Revelations 7.14.
Hmm.
Hmm.
That little ending. And there we go
The brave and insightful world of Web 2.0
John, what did you learn this week?
I learned that we didn't have to go to certain
places to find, you know, really
horribly misspelled posts
and just, you know, horrible
opinions behind those misspelled
words. We could just type
them, type whatever the common
misspelling would be into this little, uh,
these websites, these open book type deals,
and it'll come to us.
It's true! It's very very true there's a lot of
people on facebook and if you just go hey facebook i'm looking for dummies it's not even that you
have to find dummies dummies just raise their hand and go i'm dumb hey over here look at my abs
yes it's just it's a really easy correlation, because not always, but at least like 99% of the time, that kind of misspelling corresponds with just the blatant ignorance and shittiness of what they say, and you know, just the horribly written things that they put out there.
And it's just, it's just so nice, it's just like, it's just like having a, let's have a podcast button, spam, there.
to let's have a podcast button spam there there's a weird thing to facebook which is that you know when facebook got popular and all of a sudden it was like this idea of you know people actually
you're using your real name at that point like it's not one of those things where it's like
my name's movie man fart fart fart kike you know if your name is movie man you can probably hide
behind that and but so as the idea i think was supposed to be like oh you know we your name is movie man you can probably hide behind that and but so as the idea
i think was supposed to be like oh you know we'll give people like we'll have people use their real
names we'll have them like connect with their sisters and their parents yeah and then and then
there'll be a filter of crap like people won't you, people won't talk about their diarrhea if it's in front of their godfather.
But yes, they will.
They totally.
Yeah, sure.
It's a world of fame.
And with all we've done, this really is kind of the missing link between real life and Internet.
Because you'll see, like, it's Facebook.
You know, maybe people have, like, the real life stuff and they'll keep their weird furry juggler shit on the other side.
Like you said, under their little dark, scritchy wolf fox kind of thing.
Right, right, right.
They just sign on under that name on Facebook
and they're like, I need a YIF.
It's like, oh, well, I guess this just is real life to you.
And it's just people naming themselves.
They have nicknames for their nicknames,
like the Thumper there and just, yeah.
For some people, internet is all too real.
Yeah.
That's,
that's,
it starts real and then it just ebbs into their universe.
The website is always the FPL dot us.
And of course we have our own Facebook,
uh,
where you should probably post really personal shit.
If you want to write your first sexual experience,
um,
on our Facebook page. That would be
awesome. We would totally accept it.
And maybe we'll give you,
we'll like it, we'll hit the little thumbs up
button on it.
Because with this open book episode, we've gotten so
lazy with how easy content came to us
with this. We just want you to send it to us.
We're not going to even search anymore.
You can submit stuff on the site
and you should do that.
Yeah, and we've got all the little
social networking things. We've got the Facebook.
We've got the Twitter. We've got the...
What's the thing? Scratcher? I'm thinking
the furry's messed up my mind.
Stitcher! There we go. Stitcher.
A number of things. Spread it. Tell everybody,
hey, these people read fucked up shit.
I'm out of here!
See you on Facebook.
Hopefully not the really weird one.
Goodbye.
It's Hokey, manny, manny, man.
You sing a bingo, bingo, bingo.
And Hokey, Hokey, Hokey, and...
You know, guys,
I mean, the recording was pretty good, but we
didn't get the chicken fuck.
Oh, right, stog stuff.
Chicken fuck.
That was like the best stuff that we read beforehand, too.
What?
Chicken fuck.
Actually, let's do a little bit of chicken fuck.
Okay.
Let's do some chicken fuck.
I thought we were done.
You thought wrong.
Stog found this chicken fuck stuff and we never read it.
Stog worked for chicken fuck.
Oh my god everything fuck all
you zucchini looking culinary arts
smelling lactose and
lactose and intolerant having
skittled chewing eating
oompa loompa looking let me hold a bag
asking begging low on a toilet paper
having no laundry detergent having
sugar bro and burned up chicken
cooking eating $500 bond,
having can't-pay bail, stuck up in jail,
sweaty-weave wig-wearing
motherfuckers,
rot-gif-ful-no-fowl,
na-im-jip-owl,
good morning and happy Labor's Day.
Oof.
Happy Labor's Day.
That was the electrician, Hewitt.
Hey, there's one by
Rufus Hilde.
What is my mind?
I should be asking myself
what is warng with
me? Man, this girl got me
cooking, cleaning, washing. This is shit. I feel
like raping with no beat, sleeping with no
pillow, and frying chicken with
no grease. Damn, she is a beast, and I just want Facebook to know,
and all the haters, fuck you.
That wasn't pillow, that was Pio.
Pio.
Machu Pio.
The Kwamare Dominique is totally a spahn.
Ha ha, I have balls today.
Standing QQ up for myself.
Fuck you, LaWayne.
You ain't shite.
Stay that ass in school, LaMal.
You just didn't get it.
Now go play another bitch because, you know, time is up.
Single and I don't give a fuck no more
dress Lamal do you play me
for them Lamal did you forget
you had a bad bitch on you arm
haha now you can have them chicken head
bitches
wow
I'm so working at the casual conversation
do you um Steve Yahoo! Yahoo! I'm so working on that casual conversation.
Do you, um, Yahoo!
Steve Laguinas,
when you started the lie,
it was funny.
Now Udon went crazy talking about I take you out
to eat and shit
come on you.
Now you
know damn well
you going too far
with them lies.
I wouldn't take
yo ass to that
golden pantry for
a chicken snack.
Let alone Applebee's,
bitch. I didn't
do Applebee's.
Not to treat.
He's got standards so in this equation
Applebee's is the high class place
that you do
concentrate
on your kids and that fat ass
so called man
who got and leave me
that fuck alone please
am warning you,
I know how
to play in Mud 2.
I love Mud 2. It's my best,
it's the best sequel to Mud 1.