The F Plus - 310: Big Gay, Little Gay

Episode Date: September 6, 2019

The people who frequent the unpleasantly named Coiled Fist are gay men with a specific predilection; Either they want much bigger men to be sexually rude to them, or they want to be sexually rude... to much smaller men. Oh, also they hate shaving their balls. It's so time consuming! This week, we started out climbing the rope but now we're all into feet.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, you tiny worms! Oh, that's not good. Hello, podcast pigs! Well, it's Saturday night at Austin Freed. I ain't never gonna be eaten by the monster of love. It's hard to fight it off much more. I hear it drooling by the door. Eaten by the F Plus Podcast. It's Terrible Things, but on the other hand, we're going to read them with enthusiasm. In the room tonight, we have Jack Chick.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Have yourself a megalithic Christmas. Frank West. Joe played a Magic the Gathering draft against a big, sweaty opponent. Achilles Heelys! Just know that once I reach a certain size, I will work my way out from under you and kiss your taint. Your friend on the internet, and his name is Adam Bozarth.
Starting point is 00:00:55 Lol, you're cute. Trying to tell a giant wolfman about fantasies and reality. And lemon. Mmm, man. This is awesome, man. And lemon. Mmm. Man. This is awesome, man. Just awesome. I'm gonna come soon. Just awesome. Just awesome.
Starting point is 00:01:21 Just awesome. And then the next paragraph is, give me a few minutes. Ah, here's another fart coming. Fart coming. Hey, F+. Hi, Lemon. Hi, Lemon.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Hey, do you, have you ever heard of this podcast called The F+, No. I don't care for it. Yeah, it's one of the things that they do every once in a while, or, well, not every once in a while. As a format point is that the host of the thing will start off with this pretend, like, accessible concept, right? And then he'll do this
Starting point is 00:02:05 really funny bait and switch. Yeah, they did that a lot five years ago, right? I stopped listening. What is the feeling about sketches? Oh, like way too long sketches? Things that take four minutes, don't serve
Starting point is 00:02:22 the episode at all, and I will fast forward past when I'm listening to them yeah like that all right i guess i'll put this prop comedy away you're just describing podcasting now lemon can we actually that's that's not can we do like a side project that's just oops all intros no no that's, that's just prop comedy. Like a podcast that's just visual comedy. And now I'm holding a rubber chicken. No, no, no, no. So this is when
Starting point is 00:02:55 you're not sure if you can make it to the bathroom or not, and you get something a little bit like this, and then just pause and there's laughter. As you can see see it's good for because it's got the light on it and then yeah and then and then you know if you're really in a bad shape you can just flip this switch on we're off to a we're off to a great start uh this episode uh was provided to us by Girlkisser420 and TheSmokingDad.
Starting point is 00:03:28 We've had a number from Girlkisser. I don't know if we've had any from TheSmokingDad. But I did not know how to lead you into the concept of a document that I've titled Big Gay Giants, Little Gay Lilliputians, and Mandatory Gay Jacking Off. Eh? Eh? Eh? Yeah. It's a lot of stuff.
Starting point is 00:03:48 It's a lot going on. Too many things? Too many things? Did we remove one? I mean, I can probably jerk it to all of those things at once, but it's just going to be a complicated jerk. It is mandatory. It's mandatory.
Starting point is 00:03:59 If they're giant, do they have to be Lilliputians? And if they're Lilliputians, are they in fact giant, or are they just normal size? I think it's hotter if it's giants and Lilliputians. I mean, then the size difference is just that more dramatic. We're going to a website called Coiled Fist. What? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Coiled Fist. It's just nice to say, isn't it? Doesn't it sound lovely in your ear? Wouldn't you like to hear that? Sounds sexy. It's nice to say, isn't it? Doesn't it sound lovely in your ear? Wouldn't you like to hear that? Sounds sexy. It's nice to see, too. Yeah, Coiled Fist sort of looks like an Angel Fire gay BDSM site from, I don't know, maybe the late 90s, something like that? Early 2000s, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Okay, yeah, part of the Free Speech Coalition. I mean, honestly, it doesn't look that much different from Portal of Evil, if you think about it. No, I wasn't going to say it, but it's the same color scheme, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. I'm going to introduce you here. And this is an introduction to Coiled Fist. Hey, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:05:01 You've stumbled into this demented universe of Coiled Fist. The stickiest of all pecker tracks. Congratulations. You've stumbled into this demented universe of coiled fists, the stickiest of all pecker tracks on the web. What is a pecker track? I had to look that one up, too. Glad you asked, Adam. No matter how far you shoot it, you can't help but get some of it on you. It's nature's gift. So let's use those hands, men.
Starting point is 00:05:25 I beg your pardon. What exactly are we? A community of sorts for imaginative individuals of like minds and pleasures to congregate, a forum where many of our mutual fantasies are explored and shared, perhaps taken to new levels. Our current focus is in the world of giants and little guys, otherwise known as
Starting point is 00:05:48 macrophilia. That's our current focus. Enjoy the fruits of our growing community. Remember, we are what you make us, so this is your fault. Probably. So, jump in
Starting point is 00:06:04 and tell us how we're doing. Blah, doing blah blah blah must be 18 years of old 18 or older legal disclaimer uh but anyway um let's let's read a uh a topic called macro encounters as a blk god uh it's a little long uh check check if you'll take it and you know if you want to skip that might be helpful sure absolutely Malcolm Black is a 5'11 230 pounds muscle beast with a round gut
Starting point is 00:06:36 I have brown eyes a big nose and plump lips all the better to look at Malcolm Black with I suppose I wear polo shirts, blue jeans and have two pairs of New Balance shoes that I wear to work and a pair of Timberland sandals that I wear when I'm not at work
Starting point is 00:06:55 there's a shoe that goes over a shoe can you have a visual of my shoes now? yeah, I know that you work in IT. I'm positive. Yeah. I also wear a necklace containing an ancient stone of the gods that can transform me into a towering titan or shrink down my victims into an ant-sized pest.
Starting point is 00:07:19 Anuk-chuk. Anuk-chuk! Chuck. So one of... Yeah, Chuck! So anyways, my new balance shoes are colored red and... Oh, wait, no. I live in a mountain city where I work as a sales associate at the Home Depot. I enjoy working out at the gym, walks in the woods, eating and massaging...
Starting point is 00:07:43 Sorry. And messaging my feet after a hard day at work. You up? We were all racing for that, right? Yeah. Really horny for feet. After making a video of me messaging my feet i soon all right i soon discovered that there were those out
Starting point is 00:08:07 there that enjoy watching feet on camera so i made another where for five minutes i had my feet on display while i played some video games so you made a made a video of yourself let's pretend like you were massaging your feet you made a video of yourself massaging your feet. You put it online, and then you were like, oh, wait, oh, there's people turned on by this. Well. It's weird because it's a really rare thing on the internet, so. You never hear about it. I even, like, got done processing.
Starting point is 00:08:36 I already got comments like, more feet. I'll have to tell Coiled Fist about these perverts. Really, when you think about it, it's a reverse internet. About a week later, I started getting comments from men wanting to rub my feet and even lick them after a hard day's work. One even says he would eat the grim from between my toes. That's pretty fucking grim, I agree. It is, after two pairs of shoes too while he's working uh skipping skipping a little bit yeah i downloaded the chat box known as skype and turned on the webcam okay all right
Starting point is 00:09:18 the boy was around 20 and he looked like he belonged on a high school swim team his body was thin but muscle then Then throughout our session, I watched this boy transform into a whimpering slave that would obey every command I gave him. When I had him on his back, licking the screen as I showed my foot smothering him. What? What an idiot!
Starting point is 00:09:38 You don't lick the screen, lick the camera, you moron! I suddenly felt an old feeling that I haven't felt in years. The more I play this pathetic worm, the hornier I got, and the more monstrous my thoughts became. I wanted to jump through the screen
Starting point is 00:10:00 and stand over him. I wanted to smother him under my filthy feet until he passed out. Afterwards I would sit on his gut and sandwich his head between my smelly feet while I stroke my dick. Then I would begin to chant the ancient chant. Oh yeah, I forgot.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Yeah. Oh man. Make him small. Make him weak. Make him the size of an ant and weak as a flea. Shrink down his body and make him mine to keep, for I am the bear guardian, and I command your power to fulfill my wish. Now, stone of the gods, unleash your power
Starting point is 00:10:35 and let me show this weak worm the might of the almighty grizzly. This Hamlet porno parody is weird. I think I need to say this very, very early on in this podcast, but gay sex sounds like a lot more fun than straight sex. I guess more elaborate, right? I've never done even one ancient chant. Exactly. Meanwhile, I'm over here doing ancient chants all the
Starting point is 00:11:06 time and no one even comes and has sex with me or anything. I mean, you're very modern in that regard. Frank West, do you have the chat box known as Skype? Ah, yes. The ancient
Starting point is 00:11:23 powerful chat magic. We're going to go to the next thread here because the story gets darker, but we're going to go to a thread called Coming Out of the Closet. Achilles Heelys, your name is Matchbox. You're just a single Matchbox, not all 20 of them. And tell me about your Coming Out of the Closet story, won't you?
Starting point is 00:11:45 Hey there. I'm Matchbox. Thought it might be a nice idea if people posted a brief synopsis and we'll get some going and the like. It's a chance for lurkers amongst us, such as me, to get our puny slash booming voices out and around.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Who knows? You can inspire some of the amazing work that seems to be added to the site daily. You know, but failing that, just by contributing and reading, we could introduce new perspectives and variety to our own dirty little and or
Starting point is 00:12:17 giant minds. I mean, me, I'm a big fan of being shrunk down and kept as a pet. I like restraint. Be in a cage, bit of a string attached to my leg, et cetera. I'm loving a good old-fashioned hand-grabbing squirm. Well, into the psychological side of submission to compliment the master's sexual wishes,
Starting point is 00:12:48 I intend to be at the front of the cast and crew when a reality remake of LOTG is made. What? Lord of the... Guts. Lord of the Guts. Lord of the Gings. Go on. Give us a gem of macro formation about yourself
Starting point is 00:13:10 okay and uh Adam you are curl chin curl chin my name is curl chin since I can think of I'm fantasizing about getting shrunk
Starting point is 00:13:25 preferably against my will by a tall strong guy or a group of boys so I've got no chance from the beginning because otherwise it would be like sissy yeah I nauseate violence however
Starting point is 00:13:40 no crushing and eating please and sexuality has not necessarily to be the theme at once However, no crushing and eating, please. And sexuality has not necessarily to be the theme at once. Being humiliated by the mere difference of my size, my dignity, and my own free life taken away and never given back. That's what the heart of the matter is for me i prefer the more playful giants as shown on the pics of three inch tall mocking and teasing rather than causing pain or dirty mess a bit of bondage taping caging and even non-violent stuff to show me my loss of power when i discovered this site two months ago a dream partially came true.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Viewing the great pics, reading the thrilling stories, doing role plays, I never thought it could happen to communicate about what I had considered a strange individual imagination. We're already seeing some fantastic photos of macros and micros all over the site Some very silly CG images He's on the town I know what you're thinking like what's he taking a selfie of it's the blue steel tower It's the blue steel tower And then Frank You've got Chris back there I'm Chris back
Starting point is 00:15:12 Chris back 01 Interesting that my first orgasm Was climbing the ropes at school I was right near the top And clinging on desperately Trying not to fall off My cock involuntarily Rubbing on the rope Oh fall off, my cock involuntarily rubbing on the rope. Oh, I don't know how involuntarily
Starting point is 00:15:27 that was. Involuntary for the rope. You said it, I trust you. For some reason, it was the thought of falling to my doom that got me off. In gym class, they always made me climb over snakes. I don't know what the hell, oh sorry, I didn't know what the hell... Oh, sorry.
Starting point is 00:15:47 I didn't know what the hell was happening and almost fell off with amazement. Why, what's this? What's this? Hark, a boner appears. I remember trying to reproduce the scenario that night and immediately turned to the giant feet fantasy, which I found created the same effect.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Okay, so you were like, I rubbed my dick on a rope and that felt good, so therefore I like giant feet? Like, that was in the same day. Yeah, this really throws a wrench into the theory of, like, whatever it was that first gave you the boner. He just had a very complicated day of sexual discovery. This is the chaos theory of like whatever it was yeah that first gave you the boner he just had a very complicated day of sexual discovery this is the chaos theory of first boners no it proves that
Starting point is 00:16:30 all roads lead to feet it's true it's just so common it is the internet's favorite fetish i was a bit gutted when i labored fuck me i was a bit gutted when I later discovered what was meant to cause these sensations and found it completely impossible to... Oh, not feet? No. I really just thought that was like a feet detector down there. I didn't...
Starting point is 00:16:58 A dowsing rod for feet? And found it completely impossible to get anything to happen when thinking about girls sure i was even more gutted than when when trying to convince myself i was normal i thought of a giant cock expecting nothing but shot off a massive load instantaneously. Bugger! Oh, you're British. Oh, of course you're, yeah. Nope. I, for one, am shocked. So, I think it's just the possibility of impending doom that's such a trigger. Either the possibility of it...
Starting point is 00:17:36 Either the possibility of it when the giant's just having fun but i don't know whether he's about to accidentally squish me or the certainty of it when the giant has had his fun and reveals his true intentions the feeling of utter helplessness of giving yourself over completely to the whim of a gigantic dominant creature uh the amazing tension and anticipation that at any moment they could wipe you out the massive adrenaline rush of the fight for survival and the bottoming out of the stomach when you finally realize they're about to take you out and how much how more emphatic than to stare upwards as the titanic foot descends towards you this guy's an adrenaline junkie.
Starting point is 00:18:25 Oh, he just had first boner while watching Monty Python. That's what it is. Oh, that's so... That's bleak. Right, while on the rope. It's cool. It's very... Our next thread here is another fun, fun thread on coiledfist.org, and it's called
Starting point is 00:18:41 Accidental Vor Feelings for Giants and Tinies. Just accidental. Accidental. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who would have known? Who would have known that this tar bitch? My name is 487 and how would you feel
Starting point is 00:18:58 either pred or prey if you got a voicemail or message from someone saying they had been eaten and are in your stomach? Hmm? I want you to think about how you would feel. voicemail or message from someone saying they had been eaten and are in your stomach? Hmm? I want you to think about how you would feel. How would you feel to get that voice message, young man? Bring back
Starting point is 00:19:13 C-Lab. Bring back C-Lab. Would you try to throw them up or leave them in there? Or, if you didn't get their message before they were digested, would you feel bad or not care at all? And Adam, OliUtopia06
Starting point is 00:19:32 has some thoughts. What a fun concept. Yeah. On outside. Hello. Hello. What? Are you on something?
Starting point is 00:19:46 Dude, call me later. I'm really too busy for this. Click. Takes a bite of the chocolate tart dessert, continuing to chat with the hot guy across the table. Not sure you're answering my question there, Ollie. Just, uh, okay. I'm, I'm, I'm creating a scene
Starting point is 00:20:05 I'm painting a picture With a lot of words It's chocolate dessert There's a hot guy across the table He's sitting shirtless on a hot sunny day Eating chocolate tart Delectable Hot chocolate
Starting point is 00:20:22 Drinking a mocha follows up with a sip of dessert wine inside his stomach hello Thomas please you gotta you gotta help get me out of here I'm in your
Starting point is 00:20:40 stomach you're gonna kill me if you don't dot dot dot wait how did you don't! Dot, dot, dot. Wait, how did you interrupt him with dot, dot, dot? No, for real, please! Someone's never played a JRPG. Great, yes, correct. I don't understand how I'm getting cell phone service from inside your stomach!
Starting point is 00:21:07 Oh, no. No, Travis, no, don't hang up now. Click. The small piece of bread upon which I am floating rocks upon the waves of the stomach acid. It stings to breathe. I can barely see from the illumination of my phone around me. So he made his way all throughout the
Starting point is 00:21:30 intestines. Fine. Soaking hot stinging acid from the initial fall. I hear thunderous noises coming from the speaking outside and the deep pounding of his breathing and heartbeat when suddenly I feel rain. It smells of wine.
Starting point is 00:21:47 Shit, he is drinking. Then, boom. I am knocked off the floating raft of bread by a ball of chocolate. Something that falls and dunks me in the acid. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Yeah. Imagine something like that happening. No thanks.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Especially if the guy on the outside is to be your boyfriend. My dearest Thomas, I have been in your stomach for three days now, and I despair for this message ever reaching you. So do you guys think these guys know about inner space? Oh my God. I mean, so presumably he ate his boyfriend at dinner with the hot guy sitting across from him yeah agreed agreed no no no no that was that was the other guy that ate him well no i'm saying i think that there was a guy eating dessert with
Starting point is 00:22:39 another guy who wasn't his boyfriend who accidentally ate his boyfriend. Right. And then we switched to the stomach, right? Oh. That's what I got. You got eaten and you got cucked. It's just really good. It's real hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, Heelys, you have Kofor23.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Hmm. This has got to be one of the toughest things to ever talk about, because really, in real life, if someone was in your stomach, do you really think there is any way to get them out? I mean, your stomach needs food, and if it thinks you're throwing the food up, then it might try to stop you. Yep, that's how that works. I'll send a diplomatic envoy to my stomach to... Um, my stomach to... My stomach. Well, if I knew someone was in my stomach, I knew it was far too late to save him from ultimate digestion
Starting point is 00:23:32 that I would cry for hours, knowing the fate of my once true friend that after has gone, I would have no more friends and he would never ever live his normal life again, because there is... That's a tragic boner. Because there is no coming back, not even a giant could manage it.
Starting point is 00:23:47 Okay, so you're not into this then, right? Well, someone's stomach. Well, if I knew my friend was in someone else's stomach and I know I could do nothing to bring him back, well, then I would rather join him being digested than being without a friend. And I mean, this way, he'll not die alone. I'll be with him and hugging him until we die,
Starting point is 00:24:03 knowing that he will not die in vain, but with his best buddy that cared for him more than anyone else did. The end. The shit's not hot unless you put a martyr complex in there. You're white knighting the fucking guy getting digested? Yes you are, yes you are. He's gonna die together. Solidarity. Semper Fi.
Starting point is 00:24:19 This was written by Chicken McNugget. This is a very quick thread, but it's just called Sometimes I Smell Feet and Get a Bit Erect. My name's Cy Tovix, and Jack, I have a question for you.
Starting point is 00:24:35 I just don't know why, but it really turns me on when I worship my own feet. Right? Yeah. When I worship my own feet, that really turns me on when I do that. Is that weird?
Starting point is 00:24:48 It's not weird. Thank you. You have a foot fetish like most people. Like today, my boyfriend's socks smelled bad, but I was turned on. And then later he cooked some garlic bread that smelled exactly the same. And I was turned on again.
Starting point is 00:25:03 You just turned on my garlic bread. Well, that's the most relatable thing so far. Right in front of his mom and Grant. Your boyfriend is terrible at making garlic bread. Can you make the garlic bread that smells like feet again? Maybe
Starting point is 00:25:22 his feet smell like garlic. You're getting this all back. I mean, there's a couple cheeses that I suppose you could do that, but they don't melt properly. He crushes the garlic with his feet before he chops it. Oh, like they do in the old country. Yeah. They hung a garlic on their socks.
Starting point is 00:25:38 This was the style at the time. We're moving on to the miscellaneous section. The miscellaneous section. The miscellaneous section has some fun for us. For example, this thread here. It's called Chores for Tinies in the Household. Yeah, yeah. You're right, good.
Starting point is 00:25:58 You're right, good. Frank West, your name is Unnoticed Death. Jesus Christ! Christ, right? It's a happy name. It's a happy guy. This is getting better and better.
Starting point is 00:26:11 This is a happy community. My name is Unnoticed Death. Hi, buddy. Hi. I don't know about you, but I am sick of a number of mundane activities in my life. And having a nearly unnoticed potential slave population doing nothing but getting underfoot, Cool! I propose an arrangement.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Alright. Fellows, are you tired of all the slaves in your household just walking around getting stepped on all the time? Where do I put all these slaves? There's got to be a better way. slaves there's got to be a better way those of you employed in productive tasks around my home will be spared any direct malice and might even receive the occasional spattering of crumbs or splatter of beer for your enjoyment awesome it's chore dom i love it i mean it's really fucking good for the dog This guy's trying to nag him his mice No more seeking you out and exterminating
Starting point is 00:27:11 All you have to do is make yourself useful Note This does not exempt you from the inherent dangers Of your various jobs Good so we'll still have to handle The uranium coils And no unionizing Mr. Bezos no You'll be paid in company scrip Good, so we'll still have to handle the uranium coils. And no unionizing.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Mr. Bezos, no! You'll be paid in company scrip. It's just not in your best interest. Lower descriptions. 16 feet, what do you get? Covered in cum and deeper in debt Below are descriptions of what tasks I can't stand doing anymore Okay, here's body hair forest management yay I Am completely sick of the task of shaving my balls.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Completely! Completely sick. I have had it. No more! Had it up to here with this bull hair! It's a pain, but somebody has got to do it. You'll be supplied some shrunken handsaws, and every few days, I'll drop a handful of you down there
Starting point is 00:28:30 and expect to be perfectly smooth after. Those are really tiny. Yeah, and also, are you being depilleried at this point? Like, are they just yanking hairs out one by one? No, they're, like, literally sawing them in timber. Oh, cool. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're smaller than lice. Is he gonna provide them with little lumberjack costumes?
Starting point is 00:28:53 That would be cute. Hot. It's a lot of acreage, so expect to use zone alternating and teams to complete it. Okay. That shows up in all my fantas fantasies, their zone alternating. I've always
Starting point is 00:29:10 wondered why you do so much Excel spreadsheets in your masturbation. Gotta track trends. Dangers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Log into Harvest and make a burndown chart for my erection. Dangers. Drowning. I like to use harvest and make a burndown chart for my erection. Dangerous. Drowning. I like to use a
Starting point is 00:29:30 calming bath for this chore, so it's advised you know how to swim. Consumption. This chore that I'm not doing. So you have to so while you are being shaved, you are also taking a shower at the same time, or taking a bath at the same time.
Starting point is 00:29:46 Yeah, I'm a busy giant. I guess. I don't know what giants do all day other than crush people, but... There's a lot of people to crush, though. Apparently they shave their balls and they're sick of it. Danger number two. Consumption. My partner has been known to send
Starting point is 00:30:04 a wandering tongue that way on short notice. I'm not going to interrupt just because there are workers in the way. What, is that going to give you dysentery? I don't know. Danger three, crushing. See above for sudden sexual activity or even just the dangers of random itches, unexpected erections, etc. You know how it is, man. Sounds pretty good.
Starting point is 00:30:30 And then can you just read the title of the second thing? Toilet bowl cleaning. Yeah, fair enough, fair enough. And then what's the next one? Laundry stain fighting. Okay, cool. And then, oh, oh, oh, the next one I think you should probably read in full.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Fleshlight emptying and sanitizing. I am so tired of having. So this is why we need unions, though. Yeah, but I mean, if I let them unionize, then it's going to be like one of them sanitizing it and like five of them standing around being like, break time.
Starting point is 00:31:09 I need to use my fleshlight now, man. Yeah, and then that would drive the cost up, and then I would only be able to buy like three or four a month, and like, that's not acceptable. No. Pretty self-explanatory. After I drop a load in my sex toy, I don't want to spend all the time draining
Starting point is 00:31:24 it and polishing it up for next time. Polishing it? Yeah! And he just doesn't give it to the butler. That's your job. Climb inside the same way I go in
Starting point is 00:31:39 and make your way- Not exactly the same way you- Make your way past all the little silicone bumps and ridges that feel so good on the length of me and then prepare to shovel that lake of cooling glue out of there after that you'll have to brave the stone temple and grab the
Starting point is 00:31:56 watch out for the temple guards watch out for the temple guards dangers drowning guards. Watch out for the temple guards. Dangers. Drowning. Slipping into that mess can be fatal for those not strong enough to pull themselves back out. Crushing. Every once in a while, I feel like going back for seconds.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Says a lot about me. You're fucking gross. This can be quite unpleasant for anyone still deep in there. Work quickly. So after this dude jizzes into his fleshlight, he's like, and the real hot thing is thinking
Starting point is 00:32:34 about the little tiny men that could be cleaning it up. Oh, man. You got some more, like, pest control and dental hygiene. But Jack Chick, what does Zeal think about this? Zeal have anything to add? Oh, man. You got some more like pest control and dental hygiene. But Jack Chick, what does Zeal think about this? Zeal, do you have anything to add? Just how small will we be when working on these tasks?
Starting point is 00:32:56 Other choice I think you could benefit for. Oh, I'd like to have bugs do for me. Facial hair grooming. Another application of hair management. Groom your beard, nose, hairs, eyebrows, etc., work while you sleep. That's kind of boring. Much hot. Yeah, very hot. Yeah. Midnight wank cleanup.
Starting point is 00:33:13 I feel like you're a little bit derivative there, Zeal. You may wake up at night and rub one out while in bed. You'll then grab a handful of us and throw us on your body and expect the mess to be cleaned up by the time you're up. Dangers. Drowning.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Maybe you wake up again and go for round two. We need to get out of the way or risk getting caught in your second round. Like a volcano. Alright. Crushing. Because, you know, we might have sex. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Dick cleaning. Your dick needs attention, being the giant beast it is. I thought this guy was British. Don't they call them knobs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways. Maybe we clean your foreskin up close or under your cock head.
Starting point is 00:34:04 Some can even go in your dick and clean from the inside. Now that's service. What's the next one? What's the next one? The next one's probably really hot too, right? Color candy separation. Maybe you got a bowl of M&M's or a mixed nut
Starting point is 00:34:21 snack and you want some removed. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll need dozens of M&M's or a mixed nut snack and you want some removed. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You only have dozens of teams to be able to move each individual snack piece and have it ready for you in time. You know, this one isn't to be sexy. He just puts it in here to make sure that the minis actually pay attention to their contract.
Starting point is 00:34:42 But, Lemon, I think I know the one that you want. What's that? What's that? Window washing glasses Glasses get dirty You shouldn't have to clean them If you can have your small slaves clean for you It would be similar to window washing Multi-story buildings or skyscrapers This thread is called Aliens, UFO, Anunnaki, Ancient Aliens, Mysteries, Panorama.
Starting point is 00:35:21 It's my mini life. And hi all. I want to recommend this group. I am a, my name is MyMiniLife. And hi all. I want to recommend this group. Aliens, UFOs, Anunnaki, ancient aliens, mysteries, paranormal, unexplained, of Facebook. If you look for it, if you look for it, click join and answer some stupid question. The group is full of atheists, but they make great statements about gods and gods.
Starting point is 00:35:47 What did they make, though? They make great statements about gods and gods. Giants, which is the only thing that's capitalized here. The New York Giants. Alien, and
Starting point is 00:36:04 besides that, they believe in illuminati and they that stuff they make good statements in sociality yeah so they don't believe in something stupid like a all-creating singular deity but they do believe in a worldwide conspiracy and extraterrestrials. I get it. Smart people. If people here are feeling lost or felling lost for being atheist or pagan or lost in other religion, this group, that, by the way, is of aliens, it's... Wait, what?
Starting point is 00:36:44 It's... What? what? It's! What? Excellent. Excealent. Excealent for make you feel great. It's excealent for make you feel great. People that love to see macrophilia like a religion would understand how religion. Oh, there actually is an accent grave in there.
Starting point is 00:37:03 There's an accent grave. Religion. Which is amazing because how do you typo that? Oops, my finger slipped onto the alt key and then several number keys. Like, what? If you're on a phone, you can hold down the O for a while. Yeah, if you're on your Mac and you hold down the
Starting point is 00:37:21 O too long. When your dick flops on the keyboard a few too many times. When you have little tiny bugs writing it for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't give you a link because I could send you to my Facebook. Thanks for tour atention. This is like spam for atheism and then and then Bozarth what is a Skylark
Starting point is 00:37:54 think of this Skylark damn I mean this is cool and all and thanks for sharing but I was really hoping to see some macro giant alien man. It is such a good subject that rarely gets touched. There are a few stories
Starting point is 00:38:12 here and there but I wish we had more. So many ways we could use giant alien man. The invasion of Earth. Big alien troops marching around like it's a joke. Humanity being a joke for how small we are,
Starting point is 00:38:33 picking up cars like they are toys. Post-Earth invasion, where Earth has been taken over and redeveloped by giant aliens. Old human cities have been destroyed and paved over, now with giant alien buildings. Humans being treated like pests or pets, seen as primitive tower life forms. I'm sorry, primitive lower life forms.
Starting point is 00:38:55 This guy's boner is so uncontrollable that somebody sends him to just like some fucking random conspiracy website, and he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but what if the aliens were really big though, right? Got a list of stuff that they could do if this were real then they could squish me beneath their feet then the aliens could abduct you by being abducted and held in a lab with a big lumen alien man striping down the abductee conducting tests at effect and humans live out in space
Starting point is 00:39:27 in a big space station with other alien species like humanity and the smallest race in the galaxy something similar to the citadel of mass effect okay okay okay you you fucking brits are so screwed if I visit I'm a two mile titan
Starting point is 00:39:43 I'm a two mile titan so I'm a two-mile Titan. I was curious about visiting Britain on my next trip to your world, and you little Brits are hilarious. You're proud of your new skyscraper, but it would barely come up past my ankle. It's really smaller than my heart on.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Do you mean the one in London that looks like a vibrator? The skyscraper in London Giant alien teenagers from outer space? Yes, that one Okay This took you how long to build? It's not even as long as my foot
Starting point is 00:40:13 Literally one step and I can snuff out your pit of a little building Without even noticing Do you seriously expect me to be impressed? Your new navy ships are funny As fuck Do you think you can defend your little country with these tiny toys you keep building? Your Type 45 is
Starting point is 00:40:29 brilliant. As my little finger. Voo! Just imagine a fucking bite-sized human ship face-to-face. Well, face-to-crap to me in the water. I'm not even sure I'd notice it if I weren't looking.
Starting point is 00:40:45 Your new astute submarines are even smaller. You can put all seven of them in and they barely scratch across my chest. You've changed sizes like four times in this paragraph. I'm impressed by this alien who has a deep working knowledge of the British Navy. You're a titan, not an alien. Don't get me started on Bodie McBoatface. Apparently your subs can hear a ship leaving New York Harbor from the English Channel. How far away do you think they'd hear me?
Starting point is 00:41:17 And where are they going to do when they hear the thud, thud, thud of a bioengineered, invincible two-mile giant step? Well, now you're two miles. Now you're two miles. But somehow your little finger is as big as a skyscraper. He's got a really fucked up hand. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:36 I'm mostly pinky finger. I was made by Rob Liefeld. Oh, that's why he's walking in the water. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to draw feet that way. Do you honestly think they'd hold their ground against the God?
Starting point is 00:41:53 Would they just be in terror like sniveling humans always do? Oh, my God. Humans. That's not a misspelling. That's not a misspelling. That's his word. I guess that's his word for us or something. Like, he's clever. That's not a misspelling. I guess that's his word for us or something. Like he's clever.
Starting point is 00:42:05 That's our word. I love them to fight me. Fuck it. I just might demand your navy sends all their bat guy boys. I need warships while out in the mid-Atlantic to meet me. I'll even give them half an hour
Starting point is 00:42:24 before I start fighting back. I'll just stand there in my tight Speedos, nearing down the little ants while they desperately try to make any sort of impact on me. I need some fun on my next holiday, and the idea of their fucktoy Navy boots tickling me with their weapons before I absolutely dominate them makes me horny as hell. Twisted evil. When is One Punch Man gonna kill this guy?
Starting point is 00:42:57 So, uh, wikipedia.org You can do your own research there. Fucking hulu.com, motherfucker. Like our viewers don't know who One Punch Man is. No, you're right. I don't think those demographics overlap.
Starting point is 00:43:10 So that section put together again, Girlkisser, 420, and the Smoking Dad. That section was called Miscellaneous. We're going to move on because the next thread is called Cockvore and Piss Play. So we're going to move on to a different section. Jesus. Called The Big Questions. Okay? So I got a big question for all of you. And I'd like to start with Frank under the guise of Shivanslave.
Starting point is 00:43:38 And my question for you, Frank, is how many would like to have a religion about macrophilia? Yes. Well, this topic has already been aired a number of times. Such a religion already exists. Yep. Simpsons did it. And has a handful of active chapters or
Starting point is 00:44:03 congregations in the U.S. There used to be a website. Oh, Lord, you are so big. We are so very impressed down here, I can tell you. Forgive us for this, our dreadful toadying. There is an elaborate... Oh, that's a hard one. There is an elaborate... Oh! That's a hard one.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Mychtology. And he put it in quotes, which I think gets him around him misspelling things. So-called. That's a good life hack. If you don't know how to spell something, just put it in quotes. I'm quoting another idiot. I just use parentheses SP question mark after every word I type.
Starting point is 00:44:47 That's going to be 30 gems. Organized services and prayers, extensive scripture, etc. It is quite highly developed among conventional religious lines. This is what else I know about it, or think I know about it. Great. You know, what I know or think I know is a pretty good book title. Be one of those touring politician books.
Starting point is 00:45:20 One, it is strictly monotheistic, but there are a multitude of lesser deities, immortal sages in the land. Strictly monotheistic. Who ultimately worship one supreme, gigantic god. So is it like a Matryoshka situation, where each god worships the god that's bigger than it? I mean, I would assume so. Oh, God, thou art who are bigger than I. No, it's sort of like a trinity where all the tinier gods combine into like a Voltron big god.
Starting point is 00:45:57 So I guess it's more like Voltron. It's Voltron the god? Yeah. Trinity's a lot like Voltron if you think about it. You know, that's a good thesis paper I think you should read it that's the title if you think about it two
Starting point is 00:46:14 the god appeared upon a planet in this universe as a kind of avatar of himself or in a severely minimized form and established his religion, including the extensive body of scripture which locutes itself on other planets to seers. What?
Starting point is 00:46:34 Yeah. Or, more accurately, auditors. Hence it is available in English. So he made an avatar of himself, brought that avatar down to Earth, and then he was like, hey, what's up? I'm God.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Y'all should worship me. There's a book about it, but I left it on another planet. Mm-hmm. So you should try to pick that up. Right. No, that is how Mormonism works, yes. I think that sounds legitimate. Point three.
Starting point is 00:47:00 It is not simply a version of a phallic religion, but the phallic character is quite prominent. Huh? Okay. Well, you see, let me explain. Masturbation is not obligatory, although it is commended. I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. Yeah. It is commended if it is performed respectfully enough.
Starting point is 00:47:21 Never mind, Beckon. Never mind, never mind. Malay. I love a religion that compliments me on my jerking. Five stars, Lemon! Who would like to testify today? Pinkies up, gentlemen. There is more emphasis
Starting point is 00:47:40 on prolonged non-ejaculatory orders. Boo! Alright, I'm out again. This is complicated. Some adherents are not interested in the sexual component at all, so there is more to it than
Starting point is 00:47:55 eroticism, but eroticism is not discouraged. You got pretty wishy-washy on point three. It is and is not and is and is not sexual. I don't know what you're confused about. One thing that most religions have in common is they're not very declarative. I am your god, maybe.
Starting point is 00:48:16 You should probably not have any other gods before me. Here are my ten suggestions. Here are my ten suggestions. Four. There are several believers on CF, but they do not appear to proselytize. Five. There are fully indicated practitioners and more loosely affiliated passive believers
Starting point is 00:48:40 or dedicants. If you want to know more about it you could say so here and maybe one of the members will notice it in contact you are maybe not disappointed that this website isn't online maybe i want to yeah i want to learn the scripture it's unlikely that there will be a number of such sects since this is such a very specific attraction macrophilia taken to the utmost of its implications. I'm guessing you are stuck with this one unless you want to start your own, but it
Starting point is 00:49:09 would be a lot of work reinventing the wheel. So, but here's the thing, right? Because you're, okay, so my mini-life starts out, how many would like to have a religion about macrophilia? He's like, I think it'd be really hot if there was a religion about macrophilia. It could be like this, it could be like this. And then Shivan Slave is like, that already exists.
Starting point is 00:49:25 I'm going to describe it poorly. And also, I won't tell you more. You're welcome. I might be thinking of Christianity. And he also says, well, obviously, since a lot of people are really into this specific fetish, there's probably like a bunch of religions. Because that's how fetishes work to this guy. Which is interesting.
Starting point is 00:49:47 Like, that's... Hey, I got something for the tinies. I got something for the tinies in the room. Mm-hmm. Shrinking before my big white bubble butt. Yeah, my name is Your Butt Flav.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Yep, great. Okay, I got a poll for y'all. My name is your butt slave. Yep. Great. Okay. Okay. I got a poll for y'all. Okay. My poll is what causes you to shrink at the mercy of my big ass? Now, 17% of you felt that kissing my ass, each kiss means you shrink bug. That was the best. Then 37%, the winner here. You know what? Let 37% the winner here you know I'll just get the winner
Starting point is 00:50:26 10% thought that staring like a big horny little fag at my giant white ass just staring just starring that was 10% 11% telling me
Starting point is 00:50:44 big I am and how puny you are compared to me. That makes you smaller. It's self-fulfilling at that point. Yeah, exactly. And then 23%, now we're getting into the big numbers here, accepting your fate of being
Starting point is 00:50:59 a fucking bug at my complete mercy. That was pretty good. But the winner, 37%, 55 votes, felt every time you inhale my gassy big farts. Good. It's me, Tiny Napin. I think just staring at your butt would make me want to shrink. Also, I probably would shrunk around two inches tall. The scamper says,
Starting point is 00:51:31 It would be an amazing feeling to shrink smaller and smaller every time you blasted me with your farts. Getting shrunk down to half an inch and being blasted with so many farts that they replaced my need for oxygen. Hello, I am the tiny German, and I would love to inhale your thoughts
Starting point is 00:51:47 and be at your mercy. I submit to your godly cheeks and serve them as much as you like. Woo! The very next thread here. Achilles, what's the very next thread in this document called? Do you crush ants or not?
Starting point is 00:52:12 I'm Ocho-Oct. This question is for all men. Normal size and real world. Everyday scenario. Imagine. Oh, man, I got a whole mess over here. All of this fantasy world to laugh. All right. This is a gritty reboot
Starting point is 00:52:31 of Crushing Ants. Now, imagine you are walking down a street... You said it was real world. God damn it. Sorry. Imagine you're making eye contact with other people. Imagine you're making eye contact with other people. Randomly, you look at the ground and you spot some ants crawling down the bottom.
Starting point is 00:52:58 You notice that you exactly crossed their way if you continue walking. Now you have some options below. Choose the number that describes you the most and explain how you feel in this situation. One, you step to the side to save them. Ugh, because you don't want to kill or hurt them. What? What are you doing in this forum? You take care of them. If you notice you stepped on them, you would feel very bad and guilty.
Starting point is 00:53:23 Sounds like a tiny... These are ants, though. These are ants and not tiny humans. No, I know, but the person who would vote number one sounds like a tiny. No, he's just a tiny sympathizer. Tiny lover. True. Two, you call them
Starting point is 00:53:37 T-Ls. Two, you try to avoid stepping on them, but it happens accidentally. You aren't sad and don't feel guilty. Okay, okay, okay. Three, you walk on knowing that they will not survive your weight. At the same moment you watch how they get crushed under your foot, you enjoy your power.
Starting point is 00:54:02 I'm going with option three, or as I call it, the Heather's option. My power. Four, you walk on. You're Christian Slater. with option three, or as I call it, the Heather's option. Four. You walk on. You're Christian Slater. Four. You walk on without looking anymore. You don't care if they get crushed or not, because you barely notice them anyway.
Starting point is 00:54:17 If you want to survive, it's their duty to take care that they get not crushed. That's basically three, but... Yeah, but it's as if Paul Ryan wrote number three. They should explore the option of not getting crushed. Right, and number
Starting point is 00:54:38 four is more of a Louie Gohmert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And guess what? Number five is Mitch McConnell. So... Because you crushed them on purpose. If you would pass them, you'd change your walking speed
Starting point is 00:54:54 to get them squashed under your foot every time you see ants crawling around you. It's your right to decide about their life. Number six. They didn't want to be born tin life. Number six. They didn't want to be born tinies. They would no longer be tinies anymore. That's true. Number six. You never look to the ground and never care about
Starting point is 00:55:14 the things that happens far on the ground under your feet. Oh, hi, Ron Paul. You love it to crush them unaware. The feeling that you could have killed hundreds without noticing the whole time is one of your favorite things oh hi ron paul every every time every time it's you don't care and it's very hot that you don't care like it is it is not part of your mind and that is very very hot that it's not part of your mind but yeah but i think i'm nerd too when i see some ants on the ground i always try to avoid stepping on them if it happens
Starting point is 00:55:49 they're the one with the bad ending but i don't try to force it hey adam bozarth yes um uh who is your favorite your personal favorite um uh giant celebrity is it barack obama conor mcgregor or kim jong-un boy oh boy i think i'm gonna choose the one non-statesman and go with conor mcgregor all right all right well uh, well then, um, you want to get eaten by Conor McGregor. Um,
Starting point is 00:56:29 and, and why, and why is that? My name is Seagull. Two, three, one. I want to get eaten by Conor McGregor.
Starting point is 00:56:38 He is so hot. His beard, uh, smile, uh, teeth, tongue. Uh, my final wish. That is a beautiful haiku.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Beautiful. Hey, man, I'm Gulp Me. Yeah, me too. I would volunteer to be secretly dropped into that water bottle in the picture and await my fate. I'd also dive into one of his protein shakes after a workout. How would you want him to eat you? Tying me into a string and then hovering me over his open, smiling mouth.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Teasing me. And finally dropping me into his mouth then sucking on me and tossing me around his wet warm mouth for some time. Like an edible yo-yo. At the very end he swallows me whole. And then he passes
Starting point is 00:57:40 the string through his body. Shrunksen McGregor is one of the few men I would actually see myself wanting to eat by. I'm not normally into being eaten, but boy, I would love to be put into
Starting point is 00:57:55 his body. Is that a separate post? Hey, F-Block? Yeah? It's time for poetry! Oh, thank God. Shrugson. I got in here four poems. Three of them are by the same guy.
Starting point is 00:58:13 Jack Chick. Jack Chick. I got two different poems, both written by Xmas45. You tell me which one sounds better to you. One of the poems is... Neither of them is Nightmare Before Christmas. Neither of them is Nightmare Before Christmas. Neither of them is. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:27 One of the poems is called A Poem When Roleplay Goes Bad or Awful. Mm-hmm. And the other one is called Oh, Giant Manfoot. Um, I guess... I guess Oh, Giant Manfoot. Okay, great. So, Oh, Giant Manfoot. That's pretty short. If giant man foot. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:58:45 So, oh, giant man foot. That's pretty short. If you'll just take that, please. Yeah, absolutely. A sexy giant foot owning me with pleasure. The giant owns me. I give him my love to his feet. I am lost to his left foot smothering me with pleasure and love.
Starting point is 00:59:03 I moan and pant, turning him on. The giant smelled and pressed my tiny body onto his soul as I felt so loved by his feet. He then said, Most my feet were. I obeyed and started worshipping his feet like there's no tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:59:20 I place that I'm definitely in was truly at his feet. What a poem. in was truly at his feet. What a poem. I was truly at his feet. What a poem. I like when a poem has a smiley too.
Starting point is 00:59:35 My name is also Xmas45 and I have a poem it's called Untitled and I'm electing to read it this way. I had this dirty foot dream about some random guy in his feet.
Starting point is 00:59:52 It was hella hot and sexy. My face was on his soles. And I couldn't stop loving them. It was great and beautiful. 20 minutes of piano.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Hello. I am the little shadow, and I have a little rhyme. My vision is blurred as my new eyes awaken. The tower before me has my body shaken. Okay. For a while, the grin on his face didn't sit right with me. He had a plan he didn't want me to see. He got me alone, and my lips he did kiss. I was pushed against a wall as he let out a hiss. He reached into his... He was a reptilian! And David Icke, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a gun.
Starting point is 01:01:00 A light in the barrel shined like stars into the sun. I was shot by a ray that burned and tore my muscles. Oh my god. Yay! By the time it was over, I was up to his ankles. I fell to the floor,
Starting point is 01:01:18 looking up at the giant that stood. I wondered, is he evil? Or is he possibly good? He reached out and took me openly inside his hand. I wondered, is he evil? Or is he possibly good? He reached out and took me openly inside his hand. The guy was majorly large, as big as a foreign island. I was... Stop!
Starting point is 01:01:34 No, no, no, he read it right. I was on his mouth, rolling around inside. No place to go or for me to hide. He spit me up inside. He spit me out as I fell on the floor, placed his foot on top of me and squeezing until I roared as soon as her laugh came out of his crooked mouth
Starting point is 01:01:52 he patted his stomach time to go south ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta it's F plus poetry scansion it's perfect I jumped to my feet and went to run away. He took one step in front of me.
Starting point is 01:02:07 This isn't your day. I was snatched up and gripped tightly. Oh, wow. Okay. I was snatched up and gripped tightly inside his palm. I shouted and screamed as loud as an alarm. Alarm. Alarm.
Starting point is 01:02:19 He lightly kissed me between his massive lips, whispering softly to me. This is known as the Crips. I slid on his tongue, and down his throat I went, inside his stomach, where I was sent. Nice. Very, very good. Very, very good.
Starting point is 01:02:36 Very good. And erotic, too. Yeah. As well written as it was hot. Sexy and good. The very last thing here we have is a list of titles. Mr. Adam Bozarth, our document providers here have put together a list of journal entry titles. Would you mind reading those titles, please?
Starting point is 01:02:55 Yes. Trans at 500 feet, chapter three. Crush. Destruction. Cock smut. I need the bass player for destruction. My brother has terminal pancreatic cancer. What the fuck?
Starting point is 01:03:19 Oof. This feels like an appropriate forum for that. Congratulations to this website for providing the best context to laugh at that title yeah shrinking mentally but not physically nice nice i have a Tumblr now! Starting to add booming FX sounds to clips. Oh, good, good. Hollywood trailers.
Starting point is 01:03:57 I had a dream about Jared Padalecki and people I went to school with. And ignore Fred. The pilot episodes of many great shows suck give it a shot handsome i wink and shove a filthy 50 year way oh so uh you're you marketing for cbs is that is that what's going on here yeah there's no like the post gives no context it makes nothing okay great diary of a slightly shrunken man okay you're not my father you're not my god and you're not my boss uh thoughts from within the darkness
Starting point is 01:04:45 oh dear giants who inexplicably have their mobile phones okay I mean you just think giants just don't have a cell plan is that what you're saying I guess they're like
Starting point is 01:05:00 you're giant the phones aren't giant why do you have why you have a giant phone oh reincarnated have a giant phone? Reincarnated as a giant with my mobile phone? $2.99. My SQL error and other stories. Oh boy, that sounds fucking riveting. Horrifying.
Starting point is 01:05:21 $9.11. Good. 9-11 well it's good to know Rudy Giuliani's on this definitely a tiny the post is by xmas45 by the way and he says rest in peace to those who died and to those who lost loved ones so rest in peace to the people who lost loved ones on 9-11
Starting point is 01:05:50 he ate them all the mobile site of Coiled Fist is tagged highly experimental oh yeah good what did we learn from any of this f plus seems like it's really erotic to feel like you're in danger
Starting point is 01:06:13 there's a lot of that i mean i know i feel like i'm in danger whenever whenever a lady talks to me i mean i feel like I learned that apparently British people like feet yeah yeah yeah what new knowledge that was I also hear they like knickers did you know that
Starting point is 01:06:37 being actively horny makes you write great poetry I've learned that the rope can make you into feet yeah that was interesting being actively horny makes you write great poetry. Yeah. I've learned that the rope can make you in defeat. Yeah, that was interesting. I don't know how that connected at all. I learned that the off-topic forum is called Outside the Fist.
Starting point is 01:07:01 Gross. This is one of those ones, because this is one of those ones because there's there's like this is one of those sort of compacted fetishes that works out pretty good because there's there's uh there's two different roles because there's like there's the yeah there's the there's the giants and then there's the tinies and they can hang out in the same way that like you know yeah the feeders and the feedies you know can hang out so that seems to kind of build some sort of, you know, community. The thing that I still can't get over is that, that, and in so many cases, these people are imagining themselves as these like giant just fucking monstrosities that are just you know miles tall right yeah and then they're like and then they're like you're insignificant to me yes of course
Starting point is 01:07:50 we would be because you're fucking massive and then it's like it's like i'm going to fight you what why why do you have that impulse like how weak and pathetic are you that you would actually like just dominate something that's like a thousandth of the size of yourself like that came up so frequently and it's very confusing to me well maybe giants are just really fucking insecure and they're in therapy for it asshole it would be like if if like humpback whales talk shit to us well there'd be humpback whales talking shit to the krill that they eat. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:27 I mean, if I were a whale, I'd probably be like, you fucking piece of shit krill. How do you fucking like it, assholes? The literally hundred thousand of you that I've eaten today are nothing! It's so erotic! Your skyscrapers are nothing to me. I mean, I feel like this was just a
Starting point is 01:08:44 really kind of wholesome fetish website. Like, it was very focused, very dedicated, and, like, you know, the majority of it is just like, here's the thing, we're into the thing, other things, don't give a fuck. Yeah, they seem alright.
Starting point is 01:09:00 Well, I mean, that's actually, that's partly the doc. The document actually in the intro says, like, there's a bunch of stuff I had to cut out of this. And thank you. Thank you for doing that. But, yeah, I mean, I do like that turn. Like, I was trying to imagine, like, joining, like, I was trying to figure out, like, what sort of fetish site you could join. And, again, this is against the Prime Directive, so I'm not actually recommending this.
Starting point is 01:09:25 But you could join a fetish site and just try to invent your own specific thing, and then you just shit up every thread by talking about melting crayons or whatever sort of predilection you have. And if you're looking for people with very specific atrocity tourism fetishes,
Starting point is 01:09:41 you could go to Ball Pit! BLP.it When you go there, you can go to Ballpit! BLP.IT When you go there, you can buy yourself an audio cassette tape. That's right, goddammit. An audio cassette tape. Why is there an audio cassette tape for sale? Because we figured out a way to make one.
Starting point is 01:09:59 So we fucking did it, and they look rad. And I don't even know how much I'm charging for them. But come to the F+, buy one of those, because otherwise I'm just going to box it in my house for years. And I've got enough merch. Okay, bye-bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:10:19 Bye. Big Sky looked down on all the people who think they got problems. They get depressed when they hold their heads in their hands and they cry. The latest game show to come out is called Are You Better Than a Tiny? If you become a contestant, then you compete against a tiny of your choice. If you win, you get to take the tiny home as your prize. If you lose, then you're a tiny. Okay. Never mind.
Starting point is 01:11:01 It's too complicated. Really? It sounds like this is going to be a really simple one. I was looking at the rule set and I was like, oh God, never mind. I mean, I saw the title and assumed it was just Jeff Foxworthy bullshit, like most of the internet.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.