The F Plus - 311: I Am The Goddess Of Salvia
Episode Date: September 18, 2019While bluelight.org is not the only drugs forum on the internet, it has had about two decades to collect nearly half a million users, many of whom are very excited to share their experiences of t...he things they've done, thought, and said while on drugs. And most of those things are about trance albums, apparently. This week: Dilute, dilute, dilute! OK, OK, OK?
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I never touched it myself, yeah, because I saw many others do it before me, and I thought, you know what?
I'm not the dumbest piece of shit on the planet, it turns out, because I'm not doing that.
Like, every other person was, like, watching him.
The guy's shaking on the floor, throwing his head into the goddamn wall.
And then he said, yeah, me next.
Doing the whole, I'll have what he's having.
Expand your mind and experience the F plus.
Terrible things.
Red with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear. I want to squirt desperately.
And I followed the second one's instructions.
And instead of squirting right after ejaculation, I pissed all over my floorball.
Has any guy here successfully squirted?
Also other people.
Sorry, John Toast. Meth. Oh, sorry.
John Toast.
Meth.
Oh, meth.
Bunny bread.
All right, I was picked up
by a swinging couple
at a nightclub, right?
And after the threesome,
her husband took off
with his boy.
While his wife and I
were left alone
for the next two weeks
and all we did was
fucking shoot up.
And I'm not even
reading from the doc.
This is just me,
Bunny Bread,
and I need to confess.
Kumquats up! N2O playstation is the only game you need
i don't even own a playstation and i own that game i just take it over to everyone else's house
and we party the crystal method does the music for the game and it's completely trippy it only
cost me 18 and it's an investment that can't go wrong.
Victor Laszlo.
Some guys have a lot of pre-cum.
I don't have any unless my prostate is tickled.
Either way, I still shoot ropes.
Yeah.
And Lemon.
I got her shorts wet with my pre-cum, and that shocked her.
She was shocked that anything at all came out while we were cuddling.
We were both on Kratom.
Oh, thank you.
Is that relevant?
You better believe it.
Hey, F+. Yeah! Hi, Lemon.
Hi, Lemon.
Hey, do you like getting high?
No!
Not really.
Theoretically.
Yes.
All right, let's quit.
Okay, that was fun.
I think we have a good scientific sampling of people, though.
Yeah.
I'm the control.
of people though yeah i'm the control uh today uh i want to take you to a very uh very blue site it's a very blue site and it's called blue light uh blue light uh is a is a forum with about 430
000 registered members blocks andckson! Those 140...
Yeah, thanks.
Now that we got that out of the way, we don't have to do that joke again.
Good.
We're going to, but we don't have to.
You're welcome.
And those half a million people are all on drugs, and they want to tell you about it.
Oh, good.
People on drugs that want to tell you about their experiences.
This must be the internet or anywhere.
I'm just picturing pages and pages of forum threads that just say,
can you tell I'm high right now?
Do my eyes look red?
It's a very good site.
Do my voice sound funny to you?
There's topics on all sorts of discussions.
For example, there's a sexuality forum that has the threads on the top,
butt sex and pre-cum and cuddling.
So we know we're in the right place.
But we're going to be spending our time in the drug section of the drug forum.
And we're going to start things off here with this post by Ya Arnold.
And, Victor, if you'll take Ya Arnold, please.
Ya Arnold.
Let me just get it open here.
Ya Arnold, Greenlighter.
I've snorted
a lot of meth through the years.
What's the title of this?
Oh yeah, sorry, it's been a while.
I don't get invited much.
Please help.
What is wrong with my nose?
Hmm.
I think we can figure this out.
I think it's because you've done some Ya. I'm going. I think we can figure this out. I think it's because you've done some yaw.
I'm going to see if we can figure this out.
I've snorted a lot of meth through the years.
Okay.
All right.
I think we got enough information, right?
No, no, wait.
This might be a mystery.
And at this point, I feek there's something in my nose that's blocking the meth being
snorted and throws it straight to my throat, making me vomit.
Oh no, it's the dreaded nose
narc.
I tried inhaling a little
bit of water, but that didn't help.
I would imagine it didn't. You're not supposed to
inhale water. You're supposed to drink it.
How do I clean out
the inside of my nose? I can be
able to snort meth like before.
Oh my God.
Do they sell nose plungers that you can just...
They actually do, yes.
Oh, neti pots.
Oh, neti pots, yeah.
Well, there's neti pots, but there's also, like, battery-powered ones that'll, like, shoot it up in there.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, they're eye-watering, but they're effective.
That sounds horrifying.
And also, it's somebody's fetish.
Maybe the problem is that there's already meth in there.
Right.
You block the meth with more meth.
The meth is blocking the other meth.
Congealed, deep-fried meth.
Yes.
But if your nose is blocked, how is it getting to your throat?
Because your nose goes to your throat when it's open.
Oh.
Well, thank you, Mr. Doctor.
Well, Boots, do you have an answer?
Where the fuck were you for Ya Arnold?
Yeah, my name is Morpheus Papaverus.
Oh, Greek Morpheus.
Okay.
You took the blue pill, didn't you?
Hello, and welcome to Blue Light.
One of the obvious choices
would be to stop a little.
Stop doing meth?
Besides water,
there is not much you can do,
but you could try to prevent it in the future.
Prevent water?
Yeah.
One of the preventions would be
to dissolve meth in water,
put it in a nasal spray,
and dose it like that.
Meth is freely soluble in water
unless you get oil,
but everybody gets the crystal
anyway. Yeah. There is
definitely a limit
on how much your mucus can absorb
in a limited amount of time.
So it's
the... Victor,
you can confirm that getting
high is when your mucus absorbs things.
Definitely.
You want to get it all into your mucus.
Good.
Great.
Yes.
That is totally how that works.
It's important because it's one of the four humors.
I do want to say, though, like, I deal with drug abuse on a pretty daily basis at work.
I have never heard of oil-based meth.
Okay.
It's got to be a thing.
It was probably just lube, and he was just very bad at doing drugs.
Well, that means it must be very safe.
Yeah, is your town just behind on meth innovations?
Oh, God, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no.
They make it in the bathrooms of Walmart here.
Anyway.
There are several over-the-counter nasal sprays that contribute to the cleansing of your nose.
As we are from different regions, I can't contribute a brand thaw.
In my country, there are things like Q-tips for the ears, but for noses.
Totally different.
It's a stick you put in a hole in your head, but it's a totally different product.
Yeah.
Well, no, the ones that you put in your nose have an instruction that says,
do not put this in your nose
rather than do not put this in your ear.
You really, really do not want to mix them up.
By the way,
if you get more advanced stimulant-related questions,
try the other drugs sub-forum.
For basic questions like this,
it's okay to use the basic drug discussion.
By the way, I'm a moderator.
It is okay to use the basic drug discussion, though.
Also, when you have
time, check out the Blue Light User Agreement.
It helps new members to understand
how better to post.
Take care, and let us know how this
worked out for you. I'm a moderator.
8DD,
OD. That is some passive
aggressive shit right there. What the hell?
Hey. Hey, what's up?
Hey, I'm just any other guy.
Hey, any other guy.
Just any other guy.
The title of my forum thread is Crystal Meth.
Alrighty.
Anything more?
There's more after that.
Two month binge, three to six days,
no sleep at a time.
Repeat.
Crystal Meth.
Two month binge, three to six days,
no sleep at a time.
No!
Sleep at a time,
don't break the law!
Why do I feel normal still?
I eat good.
The only time
when I lose my fucking head
is when my friend,
parentheses,
love,
gets me jealous
or starts treating me like shit.
Is it brother love?
No, Kevin love.
Okay.
Or starts treating me like shit. Is it brother love? No, Kevin love. Okay. Or just treating me like shit
with no sympathy whatsoever.
We're at a compromise now,
but now I feel like
I'm in limbo.
TBH, I just wanted some weed,
SMH.
Lol.
Why do I feel normal
and my face still looks the same?
Because you're not high.
All my homies avoid me now.
Too bummer.
Nine out of ten of them swim as well.
Only thing I've completely lost is my social life.
Who needs, parentheses, who needs friends?
Your social life needs friends.
Yes.
Probably do.
SMH.
I just want some weed.
Lol, at the moment, I am just a broke boy
sitting in his bed smoking a Honey Dutch tobacco
with none better to do.
Can't wait till I get paid, lol.
He's just a broke boy.
Say, do some meth with me, boy.
That ain't good enough for me.
Side note, spent only four days sober
out of the whole period in total.
Well, good for you man
he's upset that he's been doing drugs basically 27 out of 31 days and he feels normal and his
face doesn't look like he's done drugs for 27 days yeah yeah you can't wait till he gets some
money so you can get his face why don't i look like a junkie is the complaint? Live the life, look the life, yeah.
Right, yeah.
Right, dress for the job you want, right?
Not the job you have.
Hey!
I'm Casey Nicole, it's him!
Oh, hey, Nicole.
Hey, Casey.
Hey, hey.
I'm here to help you with your binge.
Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to let you in my house
so we got to talk outside
no no
I can scream loud enough
I'll go across the street
I'll still yell for me
ok ok ok
so wow I'm itchy
I have a question for you
I wasn't for you
I was doing
I was doing meth I was doing that
for a year
uh huh
and then I stopped
for about a year
and a half
right
okay
okay
well I just got some
for the first time
since then
on Saturday night
and dude
I blacked out
or something
cause
cause all of a sudden
it was like
it was like
three days later
and my arms are like
fucked
from IVN
right okay but I don't remember doing that and I've never, and my arms are like fucked from IVN, right?
Okay, but I don't remember doing that, and I've never fucked up my arms that bad.
Like, so was I on edge or going into like psychosis or something?
Because I've just never experienced where I'm legit missing three days from my memory.
Okay, this has been Case and Nicole.
Hey, all right. Ladies and Nicole! Hey, alright!
Ladies and gentlemen, Bunnyquatsop.
Yay!
I can't get high. I can, goodbye!
Yeah, that was it.
It really was, I don't have that problem.
Bye-bye.
An F-plus classic response.
We're going to be skipping past a thread about pain reduction
via methamphetamine.
Because it's more conceptually fun
than it is actually to read.
And into something that
I think we're going to be happy with.
My name is Humboldt Kabugs.
Humboldt Kabugs.
Oh, God.
Oh, I don't want
to hang out with you. Why? Why not?
Maybe if you got to know me?
Maybe.
And me and my bugs?
That's the start.
The Humboldt California Bugs is my favorite generic sports team.
How to booty bump ice?
How to?
Okay.
How to booty bump ice.
So I've been reading on here.
I also like to protest ice.
I mean, I'm really against the treatment of immigrants, too.
But I don't know that that's maybe the most effective way.
Okay.
Okay, here.
If you put them all on meth, they cross the border faster.
I want to learn how to booty bump ice, and I need these 20 steps with pictures.
So I've been reading on here, and I used to slam heroin.
I don't want to have the temptation of a needle, so I want to booty bump some meth.
All right, finally somebody talking some sense.
Because needles are gross.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Shut up.
Let her booty finish.
Okay.
Okay, so I smoke or snort a teener in about four days for my tolerance.
I have an eyedropper with the whole board, as in like a pig, out to be able to squirt it in.
How much meth and how much water should I use?
To start off, small J should say.
Small J. What's the J in this case? Small j should say small j what's the in this case small j should say small jack hole
small what what are we talking about i don't know and uh come quest up what is a immunator
i have to say oh yes i'm immunator i plug my meth once a week one dose only only. No re-dosing, so I couldn't tell you
if the previous dosages could be affecting,
but I can tell you
how I effectively plug.
Fully dissolve in water, of course.
I, too, have a
five milliliter syringe
with an almost one inch long tip.
I dissolve my gear
in an old vodka cap.
Yay!
Nice and small and easy to maneuver.
Anyways, lube it up and everything, as you say.
That's good advice no matter what you're doing.
As you say.
You only want to go in just enough to where it won't come back out.
One to two inches.
Wait, what are we talking about?
When do the rollerblades come in?
Any further and you run the risk of shooting it into the colon and not the veins in the rectum.
You want to push it slowly so to where it doesn't shoot into your small intestine, but fast enough it doesn't just dribble out and run down the side, possibly coming back out.
Victor, now is not the time for science.
The problem that I have with booty bumping is I just can't stop shoving.
I just...
Oh my god, I...
If you feel a little pressure, get through it.
There's
no way in an audio podcast
that I can adequately explain
all of my questions.
Start typing out emoticons.
What's your first one? What's your first question?
To run the risk of shooting it into your
small intestine, that's
about
probably four feet from your butthole.
Yeah.
No, I got long fingers.
A 5 ml syringe is about three inches long.
But it's real good meth.
Real, real good meth.
Right.
So the amount of pressure you have to apply to a 5ml syringe to shoot something 4 feet.
No, it's in an old vodka cap on the top of a lamp.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Didn't you hear that part?
I did.
I did.
Like I said, there are so many things on an audio-based podcast.
Listen, Victor.
You can't see my head exploding.
Well, you know what?
You know what?
Actually, we've got to solve here.
We've got to solve here because Boots is going to come in and answer some of our booty bumping questions.
So, Boots, your name is Scrofula, and you just got to drop some knowledge on us.
Oh, my God.
Victor just developed a smoker's cough right there.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
My name's Scrofula, and...
Wee! Wee! Wee!
Alert!
This is an important public service announcement from the ODE Forum.
Club goers are advised that slang terminology is known to differ between drug-using milieu,
including expressions shared by those more sex-focused in their
nighttime pursuits.
Sometimes, stating your intentions
or desires by using a cross
subculture euphemism
Oh, boy. Jesus.
Back to Reddit with you, asshole.
With someone from a seldom
encountered to you
sub-kink, there's a lot of hyphens happening here,
result in a humorous exchange that leaves both parties happy,
despite some embarrassment,
and marveling at the rich cultural tapestry
that humanity's drugging and fucking weaves.
Wow, I don't know what any of that meant.
Oh, God.
Other times, it can result in a more serious,
if not fatal, miscommunication.
Such is the case with the term booty bump.
Booty bump!
Booty bump!
The more common...
Booty, booty, booty, booty bumping everywhere!
I was waiting for that.
This person's giving this presentation in front of their freshman class.
Professor has his head in his hands like, god damn it.
front of their freshman class professor has his head in his hands like god damn it the more common understanding though lesser used phrasing compared to plugging or boofing is simply a
this is not laughing matter is simply a rectal route of administration
see an appropriate and wholesome form of drug taking, and one that is acceptable with major caveats and warnings
for meth-slash-amphetamine systemic delivery.
The booty bump offers few advantages to a certain set,
mainly those who wish to partake more publicly
and want a large single dose,
taken with a great haste and in a stall in a filthy men's room
in the half-basement of a shady club.
For you, dear reader,
personally,
there's a lot of commas happening here,
your mod has risked life and member
to learn many painful lessons.
Wait, you shoved your dick in your ass?
Is that how you thought you were going to get high?
How did you risk your dick by shooting drugs up your butt?
How far did those drugs go?
It shouldn't be.
Do you think there's a magical wall between those two?
He explains later.
A lot of callbacks happening.
Oh, good.
Oh, good.
Oh, good.
He explains later. A lot of callbacks happening.
Oh, good.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
In brief, since you could use just UTF-SE for Blue Light's many plugging threads, at some point Dr. Bronner said, Bunny Bread?
No.
He said something?
Lemon.
Dilute, dilute, dilute.
Okay, okay, okay.
It's like an Oompa loompa
truer words have seldom been said this is the case where you want as much water
slash saline slash beer what they're all they're interchangeable come on
just follow me open up your fridge which one is in there? I mean... We got some purple stuff.
We got some sunny D.
Hang on.
They reach in the back and find the butt meth.
Ooh, let's have this.
Hang on.
I gotta go take my contacts out of my beer.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, do you have any fresh beer for these contacts?
I catch my breath.
Why?
Because when the powerful stimulant you just ingested
encounters the smooth muscle lining of your rectum
all the way up to your asshole.
Wait.
Wait, yeah.
Your asshole is located at post rectum. Your penis. First rectum to your asshole. Wait. Wait, yeah. Which, yeah. Your asshole is located at post rectum.
Your penis.
First rectum, then asshole.
Listen to our follow-up podcast where Victor explains the difference between asshole and rectum.
All the way up to your asshole.
It wants to move.
It wants to move it.
You don't want an angry tweaking colon. No. You don't want an angry tweaking colon.
No, you don't want an angry tweaking colon.
Thank you.
Then why are you shooting meth into it?
Quit fucking colon shaming, asshole.
What if I want an angry colon shaming?
If you don't want your colon to tweak, then why are you shooting meth into it?
Anyway, you don't want an angry tweaking colon.
You'll get one no matter what.
Even regardless of how much meth I put in it?
Like, zero?
If I put zero
meth, I'll get an angry tweaking colon.
Colons are problematic.
Now it's pissed off you're not giving it enough meth.
There's a very delicate balance of meth that you need to maintain
at all times.
What, is it your first day having an asshole? What's your deal?
It's a classic adage, time plus tragedy
equals angry colon.
You need to shit. Sorry, that was the
first point.
You need to shit.
You need to shit or
wash yourself out first, really.
Nothing worse than giving your toilet a
free quarter gram.
Free quarter gram. a free quarter gram. Free quarter gram.
A free quarter gram.
Third point, use an oral syringe.
Quarter gram for Mongo.
Quarter gram for Mongo.
Do not use anything with an eyedropper.
It must have a plunger.
Otherwise, you'll be plugging air or extracting farts.
Neither is pleasant for you or your companions.
Wait, are you shoving your farts up their assholes then?
Oh, I mean, I'm butt-chugging crystal meth, but I wouldn't want to fart because that would be uncouth.
That would be disgusting.
So, I'm sorry to say, Mix, your next duck is a fart-extracting duck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fourth point, aim for a 5ml oral syringe. 3ml is maybe ideal.
Hacks do work.
I've shaved the screw fitting from a lure lock with success.
Why?
Why?
What?
Listen, nothing but the best for my butt.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
His ass is worth it.
Meth will still come out of a syringe if you don't shave the screw fitting off.
You're just wasting time.
You're starving your butt of precious meth.
Yeah, right.
Clock's ticking, motherfucker.
Right.
My ass is hungry.
There's people knocking on this door of the bathroom stall.
Come on.
Look, Victor, this man is an artisan, okay?
Don't criticize his work.
You do not need to drill for oil with it.
Oh, that's how you get the meth oil.
Yeah.
The actual site of major absorption is the roid-riddled tissue just inside the gate.
No, no, no, no, no.
Anyway, ancient yogis have described dozens of positions
for shooting meth yeah
it's all over the ancient hindu texts it was in the bhagavad-gita you don't remember this
no i did but i couldn't remember the name of bhagavad Gita. You don't remember this? No, I did, but I couldn't remember the name of Bhagavad Gita, so I couldn't say it.
Yeah, yeah. You got the meth jokes,
I got everything else.
That was a surprising
call from Bunny Bread. Shut up, man. I can
read a book.
He won't, but he could. It's the point.
Bunny Bread can read a book, and that
book is the Bhagavad Gita.
I thought it was the Kama Sutra.
I was wrong.
Anyway.
I was trying to learn how to fuck and all I learned was how to shoot meth up my ass.
Buddy Brent's just sitting there like
That and motorcycle maintenance.
Shut up.
Really all you need to do is
all you need
is to put a leg up on the toilet seat.
Shoot slow.
Pause.
Slowly withdraw.
Yay!
A backwards boom boom.
Who's a big boy?
Oh, God.
How did this just get grosser?
Go to jail.
Who's a big boy?
You are.
With meth up your bum.
Are you angling to work right for cracked in this article about meth butt chugging?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I already do.
Yeah, no, you're probably right, actually.
David Chong.
This is community sourcing right here.
You will soon writhe in agony as your guts churn.
Yay!
This is a sign of success.
Congratulations.
Hey, all right. All right.
Time to churn
is fast, and it is separate from
that initial feeling of just needing to
shit suddenly. I'd say
five minutes, effects in 15,
churn subsiding in 30.
I've heard that with experience,
your guts do get bored
and cynical about the whole thing.
So practice, practice.
Oh my god.
And then he goes on and recommends maybe don't fucking shoot this thing up your butt which is which is not helpful
advice to any of us um so we're gonna move into the uh uh so there's uh there's forums that are
like there's uh focus forums right whoa whoa whoa, whoa. Yes, yes, yes. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
So the original booty bump that recommends digital insertion of loose crystals of meth into your penis and then your bottom gets his dose when you give it to him?
Yeah.
Oh, that bottom.
Yeah.
What?
Wow.
That's called sharing and caring.
That is...
That is what?
That is love, Victor.
Maybe you never experienced it.
Not that way, I haven't.
Damn right.
That's what Hathaway was talking about.
You ain't never read no Bhagavad Gita, have you?
Baby, don't hurt me.
This hurts.
That sounds like something that was made up
for like Urban Dictionary back in 2003.
Yeah, they call it a candy workshop.
I've done it.
John Toast.
Yes.
Your name is
Hylop Silo.
Hylop Silo. You've posted
483 times in this forum.
And are you having any
difficulty in your life?
Is there any sort of problems that you want to share here?
I am.
I have been having difficulty.
I've been having difficulty letting go after finding love in life.
Yeah, drugs!
Okay.
When I first began using psychedelics when I was very young,
the main culprit for bad trips was thinking I was going to die.
Pretty standard.
I'd fight it and not want to let go for
fear of losing myself.
Are you sure? Okay.
Eventually, after years of practice,
I've learned to let go and surrender
myself to the experience without any problems.
And generally, I still don't have
a lot of problems with this. It's something
you just learn to do. Let me ask a question.
So you were taking psychedelic drugs
for years, and every time you took psychedelic drugs, you would have a panic attack and thought you were just about to do let me ask a question so you were taking uh psychedelic drugs for years and
every time you took psychedelic drugs you would have a panic attack and thought you were just
about to die and then the next weekend would roll around you'd be like well time to roll again
yeah yeah pretty much something worth not doing if at first you don't succeed
lemon lemon describes addiction. Good. Four years ago, I met the love of my life.
My muse.
This person is the center of my life.
More important to me, in a lot of ways, than my own life, almost feels like I would give my life for this person.
And as every year passes, my love for them grows and grows.
On top of this, my life has improved drastically in other ways, involving other people in my
family. I've realized now
my greatest fear in life is not
losing myself, but losing the people around
me that I love.
About once a year, I
go in pretty deep with psychedelics, definitely
to the point of ego death, and I love doing it.
Yes!
Natural following point.
I found people I love and that love me and I'm content, so psychedelics
I do a ton of them
and most of the time
it makes me realize how much I appreciate
life and how beautiful it is
it is always incredibly beneficial to me
and improves my life thereafter
but something that has been nagging me since last year's
deep dive as this year's is coming up next week last year I felt this deep piercing fear that all of it isn't So therefore, more drugs.
Yes.
Did you read ahead?
It was a fleeting moment and a blast-off experience, assisted by 100 milligrams of MDMA, around 800...
Micrograms.
Micrograms, thank you.
Around 800 micrograms of LSD and a couple balloons of nitrous.
Fun, what a good cocktail.
Just a nightcap, you know, in the evening.
As nice as an appetizer.
And it was the first time I've actually freaked out from a trip in many years
gee i wonder why you freaked out you were over your menu again
you were suffocating yourself while tripping i wonder what the problem was
it was by the second balloon of nitrous i thought maybe this was no no that's not it
no i was I was lying down
with my partner
and the trip began
in the same way
these experiences usually do.
Feelings of
this life is so beautiful.
I'm so lucky.
This must be a dream.
But in a good way.
As when I come back...
What?
I mean...
Not the bad way
that life is beautiful.
These things are great.
But I mean like in a good way.
As when I come back,
I'm just absolutely filled with appreciation for life.
But this one took a different turn.
I tried to explain.
I'll try to explain as best I can.
It was almost some sort of
life allegory slash archetypal situation.
All reality fell away
and my partner and I existed
as the only two energies in existence.
Sort of the seed of all reality.
Some Adam and Eve sort of thing. Yin and and yang, myself representing the masculine side, my partner
embodying the feminine side, or whatever. It was this beautiful moment of realization that all along
we were truly a single entity existing together. Within that moment, I truly felt as if we had fused
together. I tried to get up to look at my partner, but it was as if I had created what quite literally looked like a wormhole.
Or at least the diagrams of what a wormhole looks like on the internet.
Every moment I made was mirrored.
On the other end of the wormhole...
Oh boy.
So you're quoting yourself. Good.
I hope you could hear the rabbit ears I was making in the air there.
The wormhole by my partner, even though they were just laying there,
I tried to move forward to touch my partner, but I couldn't.
They were on the other side.
It would just create this inverted visual where we both existed in two halves of reality.
In that moment, fear shot through me.
That I'd never actually exist in the same dimension as this person.
As we embody two halves of the universe that balance it.
And I never actually see her face again.
I came out of it almost flailing around and almost crying trying to get to the other side of this wormhole.
Wait, I've heard about this wormhole before somewhere.
I don't know where it was.
It's a strange term.
I don't know if I've mentioned it yet.
You have to get to the muscular tissue
on the side of the wormhole.
To exist as separate entities in one universe, but that was impossible since we were two halves of a
single being like two poles of a magnet balancing each other but they can never actually touch
i was convinced that this person the love of my life was nothing but a figment of my imagination
some projection of all things i lacked that now complete me. This scared the shit out of me as I wasn't based around,
as it wasn't based around losing myself,
but about losing someone else,
losing them as in realizing their existence as some inverted mirror of myself.
We've all been there.
Now I'm not saying I believe any of this as reading it back sounds absolutely
crazy,
but it felt realer than reality.
And I can certainly ground myself in actual reality now, but when
something feels realer than reality itself,
well, you all know how that is.
Oh, God!
Yeah!
I do know how this conversation goes
when somebody's telling you about their trip
for like an hour and a half. That guy's passed
out, but he knows what I'm talking about. That guy's passed out,
but he knows what I'm talking about.
That guy's covered in vomit.
But he knows what i'm talking about that guy's passed out but he knows what i'm talking about that guy's covered in vomit hmm somebody but he knows somebody check hey man i know it's a trip but it felt real you know
okay picture this um okay and maybe this does all come back to when you get the message hang up the
phone oh i'm sorry i read that incorrectly i missed the quotation when you get the message
hang up the phone oh thank you thank you you're welcome yeah maybe i found what i'm looking for
in changing my perspective with intense psychedelic experiences will experiences will inevitably
create a concept of reality that is inferior to the one i am experiencing normally. So I guess I'll stop now.
Or maybe I just dip my toes in too deep and wigged out.
After that experience, it sort of exposed to me the idea that fear of losing yourself is based on your ego fighting back.
But fear of losing someone that means more to you than yourself
is an entirely different beast.
It's infinitely scarier.
Ah, scarier. I see.
Can you describe what you mean by scarier? A word scarier. I see. I imagine it's how it feels.
Would you be my scarier, a word you just made up?
I imagine
it's how it feels to be a parent who cares
more about their child than they do themselves.
And not to be morbid, but no wonder there's
this age-old punishment of making someone watch
someone they care about die, suffer, being a
greater punishment than being put to death themselves,
as we see all the time in movies, stories, and history.
Not sure there is a term for this.
What have you read that wasn't Genghis Khan?
Totally.
I mean, this is exactly all of history is just an acid trip.
And then all of the responses in this,
and basically all of the responses in the entirety of the psychedelics.
Drugs.
The psychedelic drugs.
All the drugs.
Well, no, the psychedelics specifically is just a whole bunch of people going, yeah, but like, what if she's not real, man?
Yeah, just crazy.
This conversation is just as much fun as somebody telling you their dreams that they had from the previous night.
No, there's a lot of people in here that are just like, you should totally get into Carl Jung.
Yeah!
Yeah!
You're going to make some gold, man.
Hey there, my drug forum friends.
I had a weird trip.
Do you all have a moment of sober clarity for me so I can figure this out?
Anyway, section number one
of this document, if I didn't mention it before,
the section was put together by Mix.
Section number one was called
Hello, I Would Like to Talk About Drugs.
Section number two is called Oh God, What?
So to that
end,
something I like about this title,
not exactly sure what it is.
Can I read Mix's flavor text for this?
Oh, yeah, please.
It says, in addition to being a forum about drugs,
Blue Light has a section of their forum for sex and relationship talk.
It's about as much of a mess as you could imagine.
I mean, I can imagine a mess.
So here we are in the community forum.
And Victor, I think if you'll do this one, won't you?
Yes.
Okay.
I get to be Junks?
Yeah.
Junks the Greenlighter.
All right.
I am 100% sure I am not gay.
Why do I find it so unattractive?
Anyone the same?
Okay.
Okay.
I'm less than 100% sure that you're not gay, but that's fine.
Hey there.
I hope this does not offend anyone.
So if you are easily offended, please do not read my post.
Okay.
Good thing. I am a male who loves every single part of the female body.
I love the way their voices sound, the way they
move, everything!
And my penis gets very quickly
erect once I start to touch a female
intimately. Isn't that right, guys?
Isn't that right? You sound weird for a dude.
I am not gay. That is 100%.
My penis
does not budge when I am with males.
He crosses his arms and goes,
oh no!
When I wrestle with my friends, etc.
You wrestle with your friends a lot?
Are you the one that initiates it out of curiosity?
Guys, let's take our clothes off.
We'll just be freer and easier to wrestle.
But the mere sight of a female at a small touch
and I am up and get the butterfly feelings, etc.
I have only had sex a few times and I am up and get the butterfly feelings, etc. I have only had
sex a few times and without going
into detail, I had not physically
seen the female genitals properly.
I feel like there was some sort of online source for these things.
Due to lighting.
Oh, you didn't shine a flashlight up, Akuchi?
And the fact that I had my hands over my eyes like I was watching a horror movie.
And basically the only activity being kissing, touching, and then straight to sex.
Is your life PG-13?
What's going on?
Totally how it works.
All right, so we're making out, and then, like, saxophone music comes on,
and then they pan over to the window, and then she's pregnant.
God, are we watching the room again?
It cuts back to her
wearing the sheet
like full clothes and never
removing it from below her neck.
I'm putting my pants back on.
You were amazing.
Now, for the first time, I have a proper
girl who I mess around with
in a bedroom with proper lighting.
Yeah.
Wow.
Oh, yeah. Future director on your head. girl who I mess around with in a bedroom with proper lighting. Yeah. Wow.
Oh, yeah.
It's the future director on your head.
I had to stop her before
I could install LED bulbs.
I kept
hooking up with these girls that couldn't afford lamps.
Yeah.
We were in a cave.
The thing is, and I know this is going to
sound wrong, but I am totally
not attracted to her
vagina. 100%.
100%.
I love her breasts
and the rest of her body. I love her ass
and belly. Can we just go back to the part where it says, I am a male
who loves every single part of the female body?
Except for
the inconsequential gross shit.
That's not a part.
That can't be a part of it, right?
She said it would fall off eventually.
Now, I love her breasts and the rest of her body.
I love her ass and belly.
But once I get a good look at her vagina, I get turned off badly.
Like her belly?
Like, almost disgusted.
So you're into her belly, but not veg that's correct why can't i stick
my penis in any of these other things oh that belly button looks so hot you can do it i cannot
go down there for oral sex and if i watch myself penetrating it i get turned off the only way i
can have sex without becoming disgusted is by just inserting my penis and then not looking
and just enjoy the feeling.
The healthiest relationship.
I am starting to get a little worried.
I don't know. I have looked at other
vaginas on the net and yes, I do not
find them appealing at all. Not even a bit.
Vaginas on the net.
Dee dee dee dee dee dee.
They just really disgust me for some
reason. She looked at a bunch of vagina
mug shots.
Turn to the left.
Give me the
fucking keys, you fucking cocksucker.
Oh yeah, that vagina, he'll flip
you.
He'll flip you for real.
He'll flip you.
Oh god. Is this normal?
Does anyone else who is straight have a problem looking at or putting face slash
tongue near it? Is this normal?
What should I do?
It worries me because I know
males are supposed to love sex
and vaginas
I love sex but can't stand how the anatomy looks.
Anyone have anything similar?
I mean, balls and dicks are
also disgusting and look so weird.
Oh, they're so weird. They're so gross.
I don't think about them every day.
They're so fucking weird.
Do females find them
gross? How can they suck them without
throwing up?
In my experience, they never have.
I mean, I had a bunch of meth in my dick at the time.
It helps.
I'm not saying it's required.
Sorry if my post offended anyone, but I offend myself.
And I'm also disappointed in how I feel, as I love everything about them, even their pesky attitudes.
The pesky?
Those vaginas and their attitudes, man.
Yeah.
Vaginas are from Mars.
Penises are from women.
I love women, except for their vaginas and their attitudes.
Yeah.
Man, I remember back in the 90s when Vagina the Hedgehog busted out with that attitude
took the nation by storm
he's a rude dude with vagina too
this is one of the best
names to post matches
yes yes it's Junk's
I thought he was talking about the ships come on
I am definitely not thinking about junks right now.
Bunny Bread, you got Red Leader?
Yeah.
All right.
Thank you for sharing, man.
All right.
This is your boy, Red Leader.
Woo!
Woo!
Check me out on Instagram.
Nope.
No cake.
I feel similarly about breasts, actually.
All right?
I just, you know, how you, all right, okay.
I mean, I don't dislike them or think that they're ugly.
Okay, that's not similar then. Shut up, motherfucker.
Don't you tell me how English works.
Kick your ass like a kick in the titties.
All right.
But oftentimes I think that the male chest is more aesthetically appealing.
Also, I should mention I'm 100% not gay.
No, you, yeah, no.
You actually said that right now.
Good.
I am not bi, but I do have artist's appreciation for both the male and the female body.
So shut the fuck up.
I'll punch you out so hard, goddammit.
I bought a truck that says I'm not gay.
And my truck has nuts, goddammit.
That truck has nuts, which means I'm 400% not gay.
I'm going to buy a dick for my truck.
So,
low-cut shirts and the like
don't do much for me, no sir.
I, girl, cannot
really tease this here Red Leader
with her beasts.
Hello, Red Leader.
Do you like my beasts?
Do you find me attractive with my beasts?
Tease him, Cerebus!
Everything below the beasts, though.
Woo!
Dangerous breasts and where to find them.
Again, Jerking Online, which is no longer at Jerking.Online.
That turned into a porn site.
Some porn site squatted on it. You can still go to the Jerking Online, which is no longer at Jerking.online. That turned into a porn site. Some porn site squatted on it.
You can still go to the Jerking Online site.
Ah, yeah.
And one of the titles in that is Fantastic Breasts and Where to Fuck Them.
That's right.
All right.
Yeah, bumpin' uglies.
Ha ha, lol.
That about describes it well.
My problem is that the female of the human species is so sexy
and seductive every part of her body body is physically so attractive to me every part is so
but then the part that you are meant to be most interested in turns out to be alien looking and
not appealing at all it just does not make sense and am wondering if I am the odd one out. Seems probably not.
I mean, do women know that their private doesn't look that pretty?
Should I tell them?
Do women feel unpretty?
This is going to sound weird, but I swear her asshole looks more appealing.
100%.
You don't say.
100%. 100% 100% and if it wasn't so dark colored
perhaps should have been how a vagina
should have looked
but then how was she meant to push out
a kid lol haha
weird shit
so you don't like vaginas and you think
well you do love
yourself some assholes
I'm drowning in thinking emojis right now Well, you do love yourself some assholes.
Hmm.
I'm drowning in thinking emojis right now.
Hello, F+. My name is Darth Dude.
Darth Dude.
If you can find me a vagina that's not disgusting, I'm bloated.
I think my wife may have cheated
or is cheating on me.
Oh, man.
First, some background.
She's been going through
some things health-wise.
Menopause, thyroid issues, etc.
Nothing major,
but it had a diminishing effect on her sex drive.
We went from having sex two to three times a week to once every other month.
She always assured me that it was her body, etc., not me.
Then a couple of weeks ago, she wanted to meet an online male friend for lunch somewhere.
It was only a couple hour drive and she
invited me to come along. I had a deadline at work
to meet so I declined the offer but told
her to go to enjoy lunch.
We've been married 23 years in a totally
monogamous relationship and I trust
her completely. That's why I'm here.
I trust her completely. She drops by my office
on her way to meet this guy.
She's dressed to the nines.
Heels, makeup,
jewelry. She doesn't dress up that much
for me on date nights unless it's
an anniversary dinner, but I chalked her up
to not wanting to make a good first impression.
When she
came home, she was horny
as fuck!
We had
sex nearly every night
since then.
And she's meeting him again next week.
I always told her if she wants an open marriage, I'm good with it, but let me know.
The thought of her with another guy turns me on.
But the thought of her doing behind my back worries me.
What do I do?
Change your name.
That's the first problem.
Oh, kill yourself.
I actually honestly like that he's approaching, you know,
her going out and being with some other dude is the same way.
It's like she ate all the brownies and didn't tell him.
It's like, honey, I mean, it would have been fine, but I just
wouldn't. Just let me know.
God damn it.
I was gonna have those.
Uh,
Kumquat's up.
Oh, yes. Hello.
Have you had a problem
with your boyfriend?
Which one?
Well, just your boyfriend boyfriend i know you've just
got the one boyfriend right now oh yeah and uh i know you party together but like any problems
there well well well my i'm moon paws and uh yeah uh yeah uh bf on meth stroking for hours to porn
yeah yeah i live in a tool video.
Jerking for hours.
Either that or Apex Twin.
Maybe a crossover.
My BF and I sometime party together for a couple days.
It used to be fun,
but now all he wants to do is masturbate to porn for hours, even days edging.
He'll lay next to me and have zero interest in sex or playing with me.
Just walking around edging around the kitchen.
Just like, hey, honey.
Almost.
Almost.
Yeah.
I'm just about to come.
Yeah, I know.
Just calling out from the other room.
Hey, honey.
What?
I'm just about to come.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Got it.
Yeah.
Okay.
He actually prefers to watch me mess around with other dudes than actually playing with me.
And, yeah, if and when he finally decides to have sex with me,
he either struggles to get it up because his dick is beat up from 48 hours of edging,
or is so wound up from edging, he immediately comes when inserted.
His dick in the corner cut me right through.
Do you want this?
Now you get getting there.
You're getting there.
You can't see, Rock.
I'm calling off this fuck fight.
No, I can fuck her.
I can do it.
I can fuck.
I can fuck.
Make up your mind.
Like, you want it too short or too long.
No, no, no.
Now, he doesn't have sex.
No, he doesn't have interest in sex off drugs,
and the above is what the drug is doing to him.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure.
What's going on with him, and how can I gain his interest?
I'm become a mess.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, that's the challenge.
It's just about the right outfit.
Maybe if you do your hair, this whole thing will resolve itself.
Yeah, have you tried
combing to the left?
I'm down with the party
on Ocassion,
and we used to have
amazing sex on drugs
and off drugs,
but it's overtaken
actual sex now
to only me watching
him frantically stroke himself
for hours and hours
and hours and hours. He tells me we could frantically stroke himself for hours and hours and hours and hours
he tells me we could call another dude over for me and i'm okay with stuff sometimes but i love
want my bf i don't know what to do other than this the relationship and you're amazing i love everything about this relationship i love everything about a woman's body
48 consecutive hours of jerking off and it's the best relationship i've ever had
also the longest.
I love the idea that she thinks this is a fixable problem.
That's so funny to me.
Alright.
Boots.
Oh, yeah. My name is either to cooperate or a bad spelling
of taco operate.
I want to talk about that.
Taco operator.
Here's the thing about that.
And why it happens so easily.
The perceived strength of the orgasm
just keeps increasing over time.
It gets paid a lot of extra money.
I'm getting time and a half for this.
When you finally pop 12,000,345,346 hours later,
it is so epic that you literally move on to something else.
Kaboom!
Literally. Literally.
Literally. Normal orgasm
results in an almost immediate
disinterest in sexual activity
for the refractory period.
But on speed?
I'm already planning
out my next session.
You ever masturbated?
You ever masturbated on speed
where we're going you're not gonna need refractory
strategizing to not waste the remaining few hours of my high and pop out one more mind
bending orgasm this sounds amazing what a great thing to involve your...
You can take that out somewhere else now.
So after 1,400 years of consecutive masturbation,
I'm immediately planning my next...
Oh, yeah, because you know it's going to be better.
Yeah, yeah.
You did the math.
I did.
I actually did.
That's why he's here.
How did I get to be a doctor if I'm not a fucking nerd, okay?
Oh, you're a doctor. Well, here I am. I am chemically enhanced, which means I am the luckiest person choosing usernames on this forum.
And I think I laid down some science. Let's let's see spending several hours masturbating to porn
is pretty common especially men while on meth i've also noticed a lot of usually straight men
get really into sex with other men while on meth
tend to prefer it quite a bit over usually straight yeah i have no idea why this happens. Because they're 100% not gay.
Not me, though.
Not me.
Why am I getting all of these?
I just like buttholes.
I've been in homeless hostels several times, and they always have pretty much 100% amount of drug-related addicted residents.
times, and they always have pretty much 100% amount of drug-related
addicted residents. I can't even count how many
completely straight guys who beg me to either fuck them
or give them oral while high on meth or less commonly
coke.
Hmm. Yeah.
A lot of coke in homeless
hostels, huh? Zero?
None?
Edging for as long as he is is very dangerous.
An erection that lasts for more than four hours
is classified as a medical emergency
because there is an extremely high risk of blood clotting in the penis.
This alone could cause permanent erectile dysfunction,
but the real risk of the clot moving elsewhere in the body causing cardiac arrest, pulmonary embolism, or stoke.
What?
What?
Or stoke.
What?
What?
You might have a stoke, man.
Oh, you're half right.
Quick, you must come or you will die.
You were half right
you were almost there
no
only cats and horseshoes and hand grenades baby
sorry
alright so
you know sometimes I've
given you the chance
of choosing the next thing that we'll
read and in this particular situation
I want to give you the option of choosing what we can close on.
We have two different
firework shows that we can close on.
Yeah.
I want the one with the meth.
Well, there's meth in both cases, for sure.
Thank God.
So, would you like to
read about the members of
Blue Light?
Like, members? Members? Or members? The penises? Are they typing? like to read about the members of blue lights um uh like members members or members well no no
the penises are they typing the denizens the denizens of blue light would you like to hear
about the denizens of blue light um uh doing a whole bunch of drugs and getting into orgies
wait isn't that what we've been doing i thought there were dicks yeah yeah yeah but now there's
actual meth orgies happening is my point. Okay, so meth with others.
Or would you like to read about a blue light user by the name of Transt who takes a shitload of salvia and meets God?
Ooh.
Salvia.
Wait, wait, wait.
Does he fuck God?
Yeah.
I vote for fucking God.
All right.
No, no, no.
I'm asking.
I'm asking.
I'm asking I'm asking
that's a deal breaker
I'm just assuming that's where it's going
alright I think
Boots if you'll start us off here
someone's going to tag you out
yeah my name is Tranced
and this
thread I hope is a nice
slow build and then this is
going to be a drop.
This actually details an experience that happened almost three years ago.
I originally typed up a trip report later that night so that I would never forget.
Everything that I wrote was an exact account of what I remember happening,
though there were parts that I had accidentally omitted
yet still remember clearly
also I was never quite happy with the way it was written
and I've spent a lot of time thinking about it
so I felt it was time to be revised
plus it deserves it
every word is true and as I remember
not the same thing
I also feel it is one worth reading i have never really read an account quite like this before
it is long but i think i've captured pretty much every detail here it all started with a close
friend tom he wanted to try salvia divinorum i have tried salvia on about five separate occasions, breaking through twice.
I have always found the experience to be fun.
I don't think you're doing salvia.
Look, I went to sleep.
Fuck it.
To be fun, weird, and utterly convincing.
Yet, as the effects wore off, I was always on the fence with regards to whether there was actually anything substantial slash real to the psychedelic experience.
That said, I was very much interested in everything regarding it and occupied a lot of my time.
We both had plenty of experience with various drugs, if that matters, and we had both tried psychedelics.
Anyway, I acquired some salvia, and so the experience began on March 23, 2008, Easter Sunday.
Fantastic.
Okay.
Well, Tom had been working late, and it was in the early hours of the morning.
I'd had a few joints earlier in the night and was feeling slightly mellow, but otherwise sober.
He arrived at my house, and we split the two-gram pile of 20s.
Salvia divinorum into quarters,
opting for around a half-gram each,
if memory serves me right,
which I'm sure it does.
I did a lot of drugs.
I don't know, drugs.
I put them in my mouth.
Fuck it.
In your mouth?
You have things?
I put them in my ass mouth. I'm pretty sure you have to smoke it
with a butane lighter, but okay.
Oh, good point.
All right.
Okay, I hate to interrupt,
but as the resident square here,
is half a gram of salvia a lot? A little don't know i have no context for your asshole or your mouth
i don't know that either bunny bread i'm sorry all right yes that's fine it's one gram each of
20x salvia which is uh i guess the the potency of it and, I thought it was like a CD drive. It's fine. Go ahead.
Tom
started to play a down-tempo album that has
come to mean a lot to both
of us. It was by Alver Lieb
and the album is LSG
In Too Deep. For anybody that
hasn't heard it, it is a flowing collection
of beautiful, luscious soundscapes
and powerful, raw, broken beats.
The soundtrack is not
paying rent this month.
I can sure guess what it sounds like.
Yes, yes, yes. In the kitchen
we quickly fashioned a bucket.
Bucket. Gravity balling in the USA.
Fashioned a bucket? Yeah.
Yes, we built a bucket from
raw parts, like a bucket.
Well, no, he's saying that
it's a term that he uses for gravity bong.
Gravity bong, yeah.
Out of an empty bottle and loaded the salvia
into the chillum, which is
the word for asshole.
I went first.
Tom was to follow.
I pulled a bucket and inhaled,
exhaling straight away.
Tom sarcastically quipped that he hoped
I wasn't looking forward to doing salvia again too much because I'd forgotten Oh.
Oh. Salvia gripped my entire essence. The weird looks, smells, and tastes, which just shrieks divine mystery at you.
Salvia Divinorum is so...
So it tastes like some Vegemite?
Yes!
Salvia Divinorum is so
very worthy of a name like Sage,
as I was about to find out.
Yeah, because it's also from the same family, but okay.
Tag!
Suddenly, I heard an announcement.
You are the millionth person in the world
to be called my full name here.
It sounded like a game show announcement,
and it was fucking horrible.
It had happened just as I were pottering around
my everyday life, and then this?
I saw people being pulled in from everywhere,
slowly weaving and assembling piece by piece,
letter by letter, into my name in the sky.
It was that freaky, weird Salvio Lego effect.
And it was like all those other pieces of me.
A melody struck on the album.
As it did, it merged with my experience,
becoming a twisted and significant soundtrack of the moment.
I was the final installment and I became it.
And that was it.
As far as I remembered it, I hadn't taken any drugs,
just encountered an elaborate and sinister prank on my reality.
This was my purpose, and I felt utterly worthless.
I was fucking shit.
I was wondering what to do with my pointless existence
stuck inside a giant name
in the sky when suddenly it all started
to fall apart piece by piece like a stack
of cards. My kitchen kind of
rapidly unfolded into view from
a single point of my right hand and I was
forcefully flung back into reality. The giant
name was falling apart and the last piece
was Tom, who I watched, being flung forcefully fromung back into reality, the giant name was falling apart, and the last piece was Tom, who I watched,
being flung forcefully from the room.
I'm sure those who have had
that experience, you know, that specific
one, experienced the wrath of Salvia
can relate to how utterly disturbing
it felt to know that something like
this had just occurred, and I cannot...
He was probably trying to hold onto your legs while you were trying
to jump out the window.
And I cannot begin to describe how comforting it was to know that Tom was back.
I watched Tom kind of crumple backwards and ran at him with my arms outstretched.
He pushed back into the door, knocking the bucket over, and later we found quite a sizable hole in the kitchen wall with a door handle.
Oops.
Blah, blah, blah.
As Tom hit the floor, he was clearly distressed and started repeatedly asking what was happening.
I picked him up and remembering we just smoked salvia.
Oh, you both did it at the same time?
Of course we did!
You fucking morons!
Yes, of course we both did salvia at the same time!
It's a five minute high why the fuck would you split the
salvia between us yes oh my fucking christ they clinked it like glass and said cheers
well we had to click them we had to click our butts because you know
imagine if i was passed out and he wasn't passed out yet.
That would fucking suck.
Anyway, I told him that he was simply on drugs.
Oh, okay.
I had forgotten.
You're on drugs, Tom.
Not me.
I was taking him to somewhere more comfortable.
The same thing happened to you happened to me in there, he shrieked.
I helped him into the living room and placed him on the couch.
Then, as he pointed at the wall behind me in horror, I heard the words,
That would change everything.
Tag.
What the fuck is that?
Pretty appropriate words to say.
As I turned to face the wall, I was greeted by the presence of a life-sized entity facing us on the wall.
She was a glowing blue silhouette emanating femininity and coming from a Terran reality bridging into Salvia space.
Oh, I didn't know!
Salvia space.
Yeah!
You got the Salvia direct from the source!
My topa's finally here.
I knew that Tom could see the same thing, and I couldn't quite grasp it,
so sat back on the couch with my head in my hands, unable to look up at her,
because what I was seeing was quite simply too real, too powerful.
She started speaking and reciting all of her different names.
I am the Salvia goddess.
Sta Maria Pastora.
Wait, what?
Mary the Shepherdess.
My name is Sally D., the Seer of Sages, etc., etc.
I am powerful beyond belief, she said.
But I'm not really bad.
She looked like Jessica Rabbit.
At this point on the album, a dark and forbidding Portuguese female voice talks in much the same way.
Coincidence?
You actually distinctly hear the words...
Correct. Yes, it is a coincidence.
Okay.
I can't even... whatever the hell that is.
Hear the words Esli
spoken on the album
although it actually comes from the spoken word
no casalidad
which is the name of the track
and some of the only spoken Portuguese
on the album that I've ever come to know the meaning of
it means no cause
without effect
at a later point in the album it sounds like somebody is singing
the name Maria
anyway I met God but let me talk about this fucking trance album for a while okay
i don't remember hearing all of what she said as we were both completely humbled reduced to
whimpering shells of our formal selves i could barely look at her a powerful feeling surrounded
me like the music it was very forbidding and dark. However, although I felt completely alien, I also had complete clarity of mind. It simply felt as if something very real and important was happening, which involved both of us. Even though there were three of us.
the way i was feeling it around this part of the experience it was at about this point that i actually turned to tom and said are you real what i really meant to ask was are you an actor
it felt very sinister and i was half expecting him to turn to me and go this is your life before
revealing himself to be the host of a reality show which i was the center of i'm definitely real he replied which much like his chaotic
return to the kitchen was just such a big relief tag by the time i looked up i could see her with
perfect clarity an utterly beautiful fractal goddess made from the colors of gold green and
autumn leaves she looked young maybe around 18 years old and i got the undeniable
feeling that i knew her from somewhere not only in terms of being a familiar face but in terms of
being a distinctive powerful female archetype it was like her face cycled through the face of every
human female who had ever lived as she spoke her breathe came out as ethereal, synesthetic fractal wisps.
Ah, that's a fucking word.
Made from the divine color of her very essence.
Every word was a perfect symphony, a musical tale.
She was the music, and she sang with perfect grace and eloquence.
She asked us to help her.
She also said that I knew I'd been here before.
The first time I tried salvia i had a very
powerful feeling of deja vu and a feeling that i recognized the salvia world somehow
ralph boxy salvia world the feeling that lasted more and troubled me for weeks it's the lion the
witch and the salvia she also said that we know what to do when the time was right. Take fucking Salvia, apparently.
Get high!
What, what?
I asked what we had to do, and she repeated, help me.
What was that mean?
I got fleeting images of trying to change the world.
I felt like our lives had been made for this purpose, and that we really had to do something that she would ask of us then tom got up and started walking towards the damn it tom i thought he was going to try and run away from it all but i knew he couldn't he wasn't allowed
oh god oh um i tried to stop him and asked where he was going she said she said get me he said no i replied she said help me she said help me
can we can we point out that like the the story started with him saying like i rewrote this like
a hundred times to make sure that i got this like really clearly written down. This is totally accurate. Easy to follow.
I mean, I didn't use, like, a keyboard or nothing.
Well, I'm typing with my dick, because that's where the meth is.
Yeah.
Getting meth crystals all over my keyboard.
You walked into the kitchen and said that she had been pointing at something and pointed into the corner, remarking that nothing was there,
except, as I pointed out, the rest of the Southview of Divinorum.
Attack!
We went back into the room,
and although Maria Pastora was no longer visible,
her distinct presence was still strong,
and it was clearly still the essence
of the music and the experience.
However, I could feel her presence beginning to fade,
and with it, normality beginning to return.
I was completely convinced of what had happened.
I told Tom it was real and he agreed.
We were both visibly shocked
and I knew our lives would never be the same.
I had suddenly begun to massively question
my entire concept of reality.
It had changed utterly in the space of a few minutes.
It was clearly a lot to take on board.
The implications were immense.
We sat in silence for a short time, both contemplating,
and then I asked Tom a second time if the experience was real.
I simply knew he was going to deny it.
I could see in his face, and he didn't want it to be real,
and he was already in denial, and the drug was wearing off,
and she was leaving, and reality was in his grasp, he could simply
flick back into his old existence and forget
all about it. I asked him again if he was
real and he said it was just a drug.
At that point, she came back and started
to talk again, as prominent as she was earlier.
Don't doubt me, for I am
very real, she said, and more,
although I can't remember what. I could
see the shock and dumb face and shouted,
Listen, she's speaking! I know, remember what. I could see the shock in Tom's face and shouted, Listen, she's speaking!
I know, he replied.
I lay back on the couch.
I was astounded.
Beforehand, I felt like something bad was happening, but then I realized it wasn't.
I felt a growing euphoria.
Tom was really troubled.
He only just begun his process of forgetting, and his denial was crushed and infused with sentences.
Then a voice came back, which is also on the album, and it was undeniably her she was singing give me your hand it was such a soothing
and fitting thing to hear i asked tom he was okay and he said yes but he just couldn't quite believe
what had happened to give a rough reference of time going by the album plus zero minutes lsg
album started plus five or six minutes smoke salvia plus seven minutes became giant name in
the sky plus 11 person countered maria best door in the livingvia plus seven minutes became giant name in the sky plus eleven
person countered
Maria Bestor
in the living room
plus twenty minutes
give me your hand
track was messed up
should have been
five minutes earlier
at least that
or another fifteen minutes
of complete silence
stop
what
stop
ah
uh
so yeah yeah
so then it goes on
for uh
quite a while
at this point
and and
he focuses again on this fucking boring trance album.
Like, really wants to explain to you.
And eventually he talks about how he switched from this trance CD to a different trance CD.
It's important that you know.
To explain that for a while.
But then he makes an update a little bit little bit later bunny bread if you take that please
just a quick update people all right so almost eight years after our experience with the holy
sage to say that i i eventually think that when the goddess said we know what to do when the time
was right but this is the time my life has been plagued by avoidance behaviors and consequent fear i've only fully realized this
and the consequent impact it's had these past few days even though wait this parentheses is so long
this parentheses a paragraph even though i've always had a perfect and substantial group of
friends in the position in life slash opportunity to really become a better person. Indulge in what I love. Oh, further parentheses.
It's Inception!
This is how you
open the Salvia world.
Damn right. We're gonna go into
the microverse. Psychedelics,
hedonism, and tribal psychedelic
music.
And literally
achieve my wildest dreams.
Interestingly, Tom, you know from the report, you know Tom,
is currently in Peru partaking in ayahuasca.
Yes!
What a pussy!
Yeah.
Whilst I'm back at home living with my parents.
Yeah!
Same kind of trip, just different drug.
I always expected some kind of obvious calling to tell me
when the time is right but now i realize that i had to reach rock bottom with little hope left
to eventually realize deep inside of me that i had to stop this lifelong habit of avoiding
and as the album you know the album.
I know, yeah.
Towards the tail end of the experience said,
Oh, God, you're talking about the fucking album again.
Yes, I'm talking about the fucking album.
I didn't even take any salvia.
It's just this album, a transformation.
Oh, God.
Why don't you skip the salvia and just listen to the fucking CD?
I did, it turns out.
I'm smoking sage.
Actual sage.
Because it's all
in Portuguese
and I have to get high
to understand it.
You want to try
to figure out Portuguese
without drugs?
You dumb fuck.
Christ.
There's no natural
Portuguese speakers.
There's perpetually
high people
in all of Brazil.
Oh my God.
It makes so much sense
now that you say it.
Damn right.
What am I going to do, Google it?
Brazil doesn't actually exist.
Right.
And Google's always on Salvia too,
so that's why it doesn't say it.
There's nothing to do
because you won't go through it
and there's nothing to do
until you put yourself up to it.
Weak.
Hey. I've been holding back.
Let yourself get depressed.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
In case I haven't mentioned the album,
you know the album.
From the start of the experience,
extensively detailed in the trip report,
it's this, this thing that I link.
Also, any additional thoughts, input, welcome.
It just takes some time.
Oh, God. That just takes some time.
Oh, God.
That's what I'm imagining the album is now.
That's the worst that's happened here.
Hey, my name's Ziggo.
Oh, hi.
Yo!
I'll tell you exactly what you saw. Oh, my God.
Listen very fucking carefully.
Got it.
Are you an album?
Because this is the time for you to know.
Salvia sent me here to type this to you.
Holy fuck!
You know Salvia too?
Wow!
MVP!
Let's go see Salvia right now!
Damn!
Love Salvia!
When you do the right amount of Salvia, the drug slows down your sense of time until time
stops. Agreed. At this
point, you can see the wheel
of time.
That's the
only opportunity
you'll have to read the entire novel series.
The wheel of time turns
and salvia trips come
and pass, leaving memories.
Robert Jordan walks up to you in the afterlife
I can't take it, there's too many books
Internet
forum stories fade to
podcasts and even podcasts
are long forgotten
God damn it
It should be mentioned that Kumquatsop has
read the entirety of Wheel of Time
including the ones that he made
after he died.
I'm tugging on my brain right now.
I think Brandon Sanderson is a pretty good author. I think he read them out loud to his friends.
If you can handle it,
if you cannot handle it,
you black out.
The Wheel of Time is,
it's a long quotation here.
It could physically be described as a tunnel of infinite length and width.
A tunnel with reflective furrows.
Every furrow is infinite.
Ew!
Ew, ew, ew, ew!
Oh, man, I was going to fuck this quote.
No, now it's gross.
You know, I personally find the asshole of time more appealing.
Yeah.
Now that's hot.
I mean, you don't want to make it to the
small intestine of time.
That's too far.
Tis I, the asshole of time.
I can't believe
Michel and Webb
get renewed for another season
hey I'd watch it
so would I
there are
every furrow is infinite
there are infinite numbers
of them
living creatures
are compulsorily made
by the force of life
to gaze into one furrow
to gaze into it means to be of life to gaze into one furrow.
To gaze into it means to be trapped by it, to live that furrow.
So definitely a vagina.
We're still in that quotation.
She asserted that what humans will call will belongs to the wheel of time.
Very simple, yep.
It is something like the runner of a vine or the intangible tentacle which all of us possess.
Ooh, yeah, I do.
She said that A, humans' final aim is to learn to focus it on the wheel of time in order to make it turn humans who have succeeded in turning the wheel of time can gaze into any furrow and draw it from whatever they
desire and now back to me wait who said the quote did salvia say that? Salvia said that, man.
That doesn't sound like Salvia.
Don't pretend like you know what Salvia is.
If you had done Salvia correctly, you would have passed out before you heard all that.
No, no, no, because he saw the Wheel of Time and could handle it.
Yeah, I could handle the Wheel of Time, motherfucker.
Dumbass.
I can handle it.
Yeah, I can handle the wheel of time, motherfucker.
Dumbass.
When you gaze into the furrow of time that you're stuck inside, you see an infinite number of yourself everywhere.
This is the worst party ever.
That's how time works.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I know this.
I've broken through on salvia many times, and the last time I did it, it gave me PTSD.
And I had flashbacks of pure agony every day.
These flashbacks made me suicidal.
It forced me to start using opiates in order to kill the flashbacks. No, the salvia!
Shaking my fist at this drug!
No! Salvia shaking my fist at this drug. I don't get the flashbacks anymore.
I use opiates anymore.
It took three hard years of what?
Of what?
What?
Huh.
Three hard years of what?
Wait, wait, wait.
Boots, Boots, people are coming to this podcast and they're listening to this podcast from
different aspects of their life.
They might have PTSD that they need to get over.
They might need advice about how to get over PTSD.
Three hard years of edging.
Come on.
Boots, I am a medical doctor, and if you have the cure for PTSD, I need to know.
Okay.
All right.
Well, listen up there.
It's a little unconventional.
All right.
Well, listen up there.
It's a little unconventional.
I'm putting my chin on my face. Okay, okay.
Is it like hypnosis?
What is it?
All right, all right.
If it will help people, I will try anything.
I'll help you soundboard your TED Talk later on.
Yeah, yeah.
Perfect.
It took three hard years of heroin addiction. Oh, okay.. Yeah, yeah. Perfect. It took three hard years
of heroin addiction.
Oh!
Okay.
All right, simple.
Done and done.
Is that all?
All this time,
that's all it took?
Jesus.
My God.
That's a three-to-one ratio.
Yeah, yeah.
So every one year of PTSD,
you need three years
of heroin addiction.
I like the first half of this.
This is like,
Salvia is the most amazing
thing and it will open your mind to everything else.
By the way, it ruined my life.
Yeah.
Till heroin saved me.
If you want to know
what real suffering is,
keep messing with Salvia
and learn things you shouldn't learn
yet in time.
This wisdom will
make you suffer for it
if you desire it
before you are supposed to know.
So, F+,
what did we learn from any of this?
Um, that.
The secret whispered
words of Selviavia i learned that i
must have read wheel of time wrong
holes yeah
maybe maybe if there were another like five or
six more books yeah clarifying
it right i learned about vaginas
assholes wormholes
and and are they all the same thing
maybe pretty much i mean if you squint like it's pretty much
the same stuff if you just have your dick in a wormhole it's pretty much the same thing i'm
grossed out by all of them you just turn the lights off and then you're a hundred percent straight
damn right well i learned that especially with a dude i learned that when you're on salvia you
think whatever trance song you're listening to at the moment is very deep like oh yeah it's just salvia that makes you think that well no no no now
i want to drop salvia and just lay back and like yes alice i am better off alone
i uh i one of the things that i'm a little bit confused by still is that um i'm looking at i'm
looking at blue light here and i don't understand, like, like, how do you choose which drug forum you want to be on?
Because we've done a couple of these now.
I know.
Oh, drugforums.net had the same sort of thing where this like heavy moderation was always telling people they're in the wrong place, but nobody could ever figure it out.
And I don't and I couldn't blame them.
So I think that doesn't just be
a universal drug forum kind of thing.
Well, no, that
too, but I'm just trying to figure out
how do you end up on this drug forum
versus another drug forum versus another
drug forum? How do you
choose your Coke versus Pepsi sort of
situation? And this, like that otherwise,
is fucking enormous.
There are several million posts on this.
It really is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is not an unpopular site.
There are many, many, many, many, many people on this site.
Yeah, people like drugs, it turns out.
Yeah, I mean, I read a post about...
I learned that this evening.
I read a post about whether or not this evening i learned i read a post about
like whether or not i take e too much from 1999 so you know that was yeah yeah that this this
the site goes back i i did appreciate being able to go back in time and see what desktop wallpapers that drug enthusiasts liked in 1999.
That was nice.
I think the artistic preferences of drug enthusiasts hasn't changed much since probably the 60s.
No.
I mean, the music has changed a little bit, but that's about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's the same general thing, but just like different instruments to get there.
Yeah.
Same damn color scheme, though, pretty much throughout.
Yeah.
But yeah, seven and a half million posts on bluelight.org.
And that's a lot less than Ball Pit.
Wow.
Ball Pit is T-H-E-F-P-L dot U-S.
You're saying ball pit has more
yeah for sure
come to the biggest forum on the internet
the world's most popular forum
don't do the math just get over there
there's like
30 or 40 threads that are posted
infrequently
it won't be the most popular with that attitude dudes that are posted infrequently.
It won't be the most popular with that attitude, Boots.
Asshole.
Alright, bye-bye.
Asshole.
Bye. Okay, I'm going to keep recording because I'm going to do a quick reading of this in case whoever's editing it wants to put it in the intro.
Okay.
All you got to do is grab a rock, put some lube lotion in there, spit on your finger
and ram it up there quick and deep as you can.
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's my gift to you.
That's the other really good one.
This has been Red Green, and if the girls don't find you handsome, they can at least find
you handy.
Borderlands 3, now on Steam.