The F Plus - 312: Failure Is The Only Option
Episode Date: September 29, 2019The Redditors on r/NEET self describe as "Not in Education, Employment or Training", and yes that may be a very clumsy acronym, but what they're trying to tell is that they don't work, or go to s...chool, or even do anything like chores. This makes some of them feel special and some of them feel sad, but if they feel sad it's just the fault of women. This week, we start writing some magical realist self help fiction.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You know what, honestly, it's a very strong point.
What are you talking about?
I'm just saying doing a podcast where all you do is talk like you're from 1940 is at least a concept where there aren't a hundred other podcasts that do the same thing.
That is a good point.
But like, I thought about this show where it's like me and my friends just fucking around.
Yeah.
Well, it's because your guy's shit's so funny.
Just like talking about whatever, man.
We got a weird sense of humor.
Yeah.
How many episodes of your show do I need to listen to
before I understand your inside jokes?
Oh, none.
Because we talk about college and we talk about high school.
Yeah, because we won't bother explaining shit. It's a little bit hard to understand Boy, I only want to be a modern man
On the wire
It couldn't be nicer
Well, I guess it's the F Plus podcast.
Like, it's a terrible place.
There's terrible things.
We're going to read them with enthusiasm, though.
In the room tonight, we have Boots Reingear.
Am I the only one irritated when asked to do chores sure i am neat 37 year old but god damn achilles
heles behold the wages of wage cucking come quads up then when i got my own place, everything changed. I suddenly had enough free time to go to buffets
every day.
Oh yay,
it's Squiddy! No job,
no PS4, mom won't let
me use her laptop, no girlfriend.
And Lemon.
I want to acquire a PS4,
but I need many hours of
wage crafting and wage wizarding!
What are some easy wage crafting quests?
Anyways, my parents used to make me vacuum every week,
but they could see how irritated I was.
Now I basically just put the dishes away from the dishwasher.
Basically, I do that.
I mean, I throw them on the fucking floor.
Hey, F+. Hi, Lemon.
Hey, are you all succeeding in your objectives?
That's a lot of pause there.
That's a lot of pause.
Subjectively?
No, objectively.
Your objective.
Are you objectively succeeding?
Has our scavenger hunt started already?
objectively succeeding.
Has our scavenger hunt started already?
I knocked on my neighbor's door,
but it is really late at night and they did not answer.
Lemon gave you all the clues.
It's all going to be really great
when it all comes together.
Well, I want to
present you
with a lifestyle that I think you're going to be really interested in and welcoming of.
And it's found on Reddit.
Great.
Okay.
Strong start.
Strong start.
As are all good things.
As are all good things.
This is a document given to us not that long ago
by cheapskate um and he's taking us to a subreddit called r slash neat that is capital n e e t
what does neat stand for you ask it means not in education employment or training
so that's an awkward acronym. So you don't
work in education, you don't work in training,
and you don't work in employment.
Yes, correct.
Well, yes.
Cheapskate explains,
you'd think the subreddit for this would be all of them,
but the subreddit specifically identifies itself
as neat. It's a subreddit for a place
for people to go to vacillate between wallowing in self-pity or convincing themselves that unemployment is actually a triumph.
So let's get started with r slash neat.
And Boots, your name is deleted.
And if you'll start us off here with your thread.
I'm sorry.
My name is Cutting Is Hard.
Well, now it's deleted. But it was Cutting Is Hard at one point. sorry, my name is CuttingIsHard.
Well, now it's deleted,
but it was CuttingIsHard at one point.
My name used to be CuttingIsHard,
but apparently being on Reddit was also hard.
Been wage-slaving
for over a year.
Oh, boy.
I have been wage-slaving over
a year consistently, and it's
simply not worth it unless you make good
money, 70k plus per year with normal hours. If you make less money, you are wasting your life
with nothing to show for it. You really don't know what you have until it's gone. As a NEET,
I have so much free time to use my brain, Exercise, learn things, and if I needed money, I could always figure out some scheme.
Hmm, okay, okay.
Now I'm a wage slave with limited energy at the end of the day.
My coworkers are fat, dumb slobs, and I feel I'm becoming a brainlet each day.
A brainlet?
Oh, I'm really excited about learning all this new terminology.
Is that a bracelet for your brain?
Yes.
Okay.
And?
I am a...
Wow.
What are you?
I'm a wagey with bills now.
Oh, you sexy little wagey.
Hold on.
I got more terms coming up in this.
They're even more.
They're actually racist.
Anyway, I'm a wagey with bills now.
This is my next life.
Working for Shecklestein to earn him as much money as possible.
Don't fuck yourself, dude.
I feel like there's a subtext, but I can't pick up on it.
That's the racism I was talking about.
Enjoy your neat lives.
Don't waste them, but use your abundant free time and freedom for good.
And then there's a whole bunch of posts.
This particular thread got upvoted 32 times.
There's a whole bunch of responses.
But Achilles, doomed14 responded a lot.
Can you read a little bit of doomed14 for me, please?
Yeah.
Interesting people.
These days you can't even bang the women there
without having the fear to get into trouble.
What do I care?
At my particular job? Yeah. I've seen those ladies. What do I care? At my particular job?
Yeah, I've seen those ladies.
Those dumb fat slobs.
What do I care about some boring dudes
working in some office?
Good point.
Yeah, you know, since you asked,
if the job sucks,
have female co-workers
so you can have some fun.
Summon them.
If the job is good, you want exclusively males, because women are toxic to any work environment.
Oh my god.
What?
Wow.
Also, women always need special snowflake shit, and they're just distracting.
Yeah, you're right. Women do need special snowflake shit. By're just distracting. Yeah, you're right. Women do
need special snowflake shit. By the way,
I'm r slash neat.
Yeah. What?
You know, I still don't understand why I was
fired.
But you know, I worked... You really turned around
on the whole having women at work thing.
Yeah. Like in two sentences.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I worked in an office with women.
It was terrible for work.
Nothing ever gets done.
It's chatter half the day.
They don't even spend any time on Reddit.
What the fuck do they do all day, then?
Well, they were married with kids, so no fun either, Walt.
Yeah, also, when I showed up to work, they all said they were lesbians at the same time.
Yeah.
Wow, I suck and I'm looking to skip ahead a little bit.
Hey, what do you collective men need to do?
You know, we men, we need to break this.
We need to wake up.
need to break this we need to wake up most females suddenly turn into nice
traditional women if you know how to be
a real man yourself IMO it's a spell
you know posting on reddit and uh
drop everything they indoctrinated you
with of course be careful of feminazis.
Yeah.
But, uh...
Wait, I've never heard that term before.
What's that?
You wouldn't get it.
It's like a waging that works.
But, uh, who wants these women anyways, lol?
It's really up to us young people, I feel.
To do what?
To not go to work and not fuck women?
What is up to you?
Well, yeah, I got a bitch on Reddit.
We need to wake up.
If we don't complain on the internet who will
it's my birthright
even if our parents gave us
a shit world
I don't want to let behind this mess for my future
kids honestly
it just sucks financially
automatic telling machine
ATM
and then come quads up there's another reply there by Akhu if you'll take that please automatic telling machine. ATM. And then, uh, uh,
Kumquat Stop,
there's another reply there
by Akhu,
if you'll take that, please.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stop being a wage slave,
fuckboy.
Go to trade school.
Stop being a wage slave,
fuckboy.
Pick up a trade
with your wage slave money.
Make 30 plus dollars an hour.
Trades are almost always in demand.
But then I couldn't post on the subreddit.
All right.
So that's thread one.
We're going to move on a little bit here.
So we've got another user by the name of Sombra Garida.
And Squinty, do you have any dating advice for the community of r slash neat?
I'm sure that I do.
Great.
Good.
Oh, boy.
How to date when you're neat.
This girl is into me.
We are chatting on WhatsApp, and we'll meet again this week.
The problem is I have no money.
She doesn't seem to know it yet.
Well, good. I'm glad you're
already lying. It's good to
do that early.
She should have picked it up from
the things that I wasn't saying.
I could send pics and nudes,
but I don't have access to a phone with
a cam.
Wow. Okay.
You're going to miss out on the essential part of the wooing ritual.
Right, yeah.
Yeah, you can at least play Snake.
Like, she's, I mean, she's like a little bit into you, right?
And things are going fine.
But then you're going to text her a picture of your dick
and she's going to be like,
Ga-ga-ga-going!
Auga!
This way I can't progress the relationship sexually and intimately.
Yeah, that's right.
This is really bad.
Yeah, you know, there's like the tech tree.
There's the relationship tech tree.
Right now you're blocked on the research of send dick pics.
You've discovered dick pics.
Now you're blocked on the research of You've discovered dick pics.
So how you lads manage to date a semi-homeless neets?
Should I hide or explore my vulnerable situation and ugly past?
Self-reflection on Reddit?
Get the fuck out of here.
No.
How do I pronounce that?
MigtowOW or looks theory
advices are not welcome
that's your men going their own way
that's interesting
you know that
that made you one of the most likable people on neat probably
that's really okay
on reddit at all
what a strange turn
what does deleted say about this
I'm deleted.
You will need money at some point, man.
I get mine from parents.
It's shit when I go out.
All my friends are full of money.
They're like pinatas.
Then they seem like great friends to hang out with, frankly.
Dude, you've hacked the fucking system.
And ordering a shitload of beer and I do the same?
Then ghost them for some time, because I don't have until next time Dad gives me some cash.
Maybe you can casually see her from time to time.
Uh, that is what i do with girls i am okay looking so i can pull it off but something bigger like relationship is off the table since i am loser
no i don't know you seem like you must be a really charismatic guy if you show up with your friends
order a bunch of beer and then ghost leaving them the bill, and they still hang out with you the next time?
No, I think he gets
allowance, he saves up,
he goes out with them, and then
ignores their messages until he's
gained up enough allowance money that he
can do it again. Oh, okay.
Well, that sounds fine, then. That's a good system.
Yeah. Good system.
Yeah.
And then, Squiddy, Sombra Garida has a response.
I understand you. Great advices.
But I still need a phone with a working cam for nudes and general pics of what I'm eating, etc.
So I eat...
What is a semi-holist dude eating?
Like, I got a rat on a stick.
He's just buying
fallout foods.
So I can keep her updated as we see each other
from time to time. I guess
dating is neat. It's just not possible.
Thanks.
No.
I guess dating is neat.
It's just not possible.
Thanks.
No.
He's just sadly, sadly spooning the ramen into his mouth.
Hey, Kumquat's up.
Oh, yes. Hello.
We're a couple threads in now, and I'm starting to like all these neat guys.
They seem really good.
Oh, yeah.
But I think I would love to be sold on how cool they are.
Can you just...
Oh, yes.
Hello.
I am Meg999999.
Meet the new aristocratic class.
Yes, I saw this comment and wondered what you thought of it.
Mm-hmm.
I tend to agree because neats are the free thinkers of our generation
and don't want to play the game.
There's a 100% chance that Kumquat has just pulled his pants up to his nipples.
I was going to say, so which Coke brother are you the son of?
I'm going to say the thing over again
that I just said.
Oh, thanks.
Good.
Yes.
Are the modern aristocratic class with my abundant free time and freedom from the
stresses of a waging life i've cultivated my mind to an extent the time poor and mentally
haggard wage slave couldn't hope to emulate. As Bertrand Russell
so aptly pointed out,
It is one of my favorite philosophers.
I forgot how his last name is spelled.
Bertrand Russell.
The British race.
Yes, that one.
And humanity more generally
has needs to thank
for the progress of the sciences
and the arts and even of industry.
No, Bertrand Russell never wrote that.
I'm positive.
I like all the unemployed people that...
That contribute to the advancement of society.
That allows you to be a wage slave?
I'm not really sure.
They contributed to industry somehow?
I don't well sure do
they buff the Xbox games it was probably
a neat the figure of the towel trick
that you wrap the Xbox in a towel turn
it on leave it for four hours and the
stuff sort of melts back into place
it's really good dude that saved my
weekend in college so thank you
the best contributions
are made by those
without strenuous limitations
on their time.
Consider Charles
Darwin being forced to
work as a blacksmith, and
all the geniuses
whose potential was
never realized on account of their
life of labor.
Make no mistake.
Darwin never worked.
He didn't do anything.
Yeah, he didn't fucking nothing.
He never knuckled in on her.
When do you think Charles Darwin lived?
That too.
Make no mistake the rage slave is merely the ink with which the neat quill writes history oh yeah
i don't feel like i understand what neats think they are are they rich or are they poor
uh i guess that's situational to each specific need, right? Yeah.
But then why would rich people
come on Reddit to
complain about it?
Oh, well, this guy just wanted to brag
about how good he is.
Yeah, if...
Because they got a lot of free time.
Yeah, but I would assume their
free time would be on a yacht
and stuff.
Yeah, on a yacht on Reddit.
I'm really living it up.
I only read it from my yacht.
Hey, so I was just listening to a Kumquat talk, and it sounded really good, and I'm into this.
It seemed like a good lifestyle. I'm a fan, so I'm trying to. It sounded really good, and I'm into this. It seemed like a good lifestyle.
I'm a fan, so I'm trying to become a neat.
My name's Ujack3345.
Okay, I'm going to keep this short and brief.
I'm a 21-year-old deadbeat with no job prospects or motivation to work or go back to school.
I just want to enjoy the time I can before my mid-twenties.
Got a list of things to do.
Hey there, I'm Death43ver.
Great.
I'm 19 and I've been a neat for like six months.
I had 5K in the bank to live off of.
So I'm getting pretty low
now. It's been
absolutely awesome.
And I'm only depressed
now since I need to get a job since
I'm out of cash.
The Nintendo Switch
is the death of my bank
account.
And now my bank account is death for 43-ver.
So the Nintendo Switch is like $150?
Oh, it's more than that.
Really?
But I gotta keep buying games so I can keep up.
And the games are like 80 bucks.
There you go.
That's true, actually.
Yeah, I'm Blue Streak 84. And I'm actually Yeah I'm blue streak 84
And I'm a bit of a blue streak
Okay cool
Alright
Pot, mushrooms
LSD
Just might give you a spiritual
Awakening
Got a list of things to do
Yes drugs
Read a lot of things to do. Yes, drugs.
Read a lot of nonfiction self-help.
Like neat gummies.
If you ever done LSD and read Deepak Chopra.
This is still boring. I'm more interested in the fiction self-help myself.
still boring. I'm more interested in the fiction self-help myself.
That's pretty good.
Reesham Orson
Scott Card, self-help.
Don't, never do that.
And subscribe
to our stoicism
and our
The Red Pill.
Pull yourself out of the rut
before it consumes you.
Also,
take some Brazilian jiu-jitsu
classes and start
lifting weights.
Get in the best shape of your life.
Do all these things and your life will get
better. P.S.
Don't do the
hallucin...
Someone did the hallucinogens too much. Don't do the hallucin... Someone did the hallucinogens
too much. Don't do the
hallucinogens too much
once every
few monthies.
Good luck!
Have you ever done
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu while tripping fucking
balls? So these are people who are too lazy to work, but then do Brazilian jujitsu?
Well, talk about the idea that you should do Brazilian jujitsu.
They do it in their living room, you know.
I get fired from every job I work in because of my sexy dance fighting.
That's cap aware.
Yeah, thank you.
Sorry.
Wrong fancy Brazilian motionless.
Come Quest Up, what did you just find just now?
Oh, yeah, I'm wondering.
I'm at AzenCorp66,
and I'm wondering about the best shite normies say upon thee.
How about you?
Oh, God.
I posted this before, but it was a riposte.
Wow.
Best comment on my situation by my family.
Number one.
You don't have a girlfriend because it's your choice.
And not because after every Tinder date since 2016, I get ghosted.
So that is so supportive of his family,
instead of being like, you don't have a girlfriend because you're ugly and horrible.
You're too good for all of them, sweetie.
They're reframing it in this nice way.
Number two.
You don't go to college because you don't want to.
And not because moving to a big-ass city and living there is a hell of an expensive undertaking and no fan member is going to help financially with it.
Share the bullshit you hear.
Let's make ourselves feel better.
Hey, I'm Old Toy Trains. feel better.
Hey, I'm old toy trains.
You're going to have to get a job
eventually. Nah, though.
Also, the good old nobody
likes their job. They just do it because they have
to.
You aren't well-traveled. Yeah, that
traveling one is a hoot.
Such a pathetic middle-class ambition.
Can I talk to you about my life as a neat?
Yeah.
Great.
Okay, cool.
Great.
I'm Juste 26, and my life as a neat.
In six months, I'm going to be having my 10 is a neat in six months.
I'm going to be having my 10 year neat anniversary.
Oh, cool.
Is that sober?
What is that?
Dirt rocks.
Still nothing.
10 years of being elite.
Rats on a stick.
So in six months, yeah, anniversary.
And I thought you guys might be interested in how I've lived my life.
Yeah, you've heard it right. Ten years of need to while only being 27 years old.
Well, I haven't done a single thing since I finished school with 17.
Since I finished school with 17. Since I finished school with 17.
Live slow, die old.
Yeah, I feel like your brain might be atrophying.
Just have a big blank
space on the epitaph for your tombstone.
TBD.
Or just deleted.
Since I was in elementary school, I always promised myself to not work a single hour in my life, even if I die on the streets.
I had my small group of friends in school who basically went non-existent with ring of the school bell every day.
Not being interested in any other person still to this day I never talk to them anyway
The place I loved the most was my own world in my dark basement
I never did what my parents wanted me to
Visiting family members
Doing house stuff
I gotta clean my own bathroom?
The fuck?
I'm not a slave
or he's a polish mom.
Oh my god,
I'm totally gonna stop
doing house stuff.
Yeah, you don't want
to be a wage slave, Squiddy.
Oh, I know.
I'm a house slave that's it
shekelsteins out there trying to make
you do all the
shekelsteins like the
the
the boogeyman of
yeah of neat people
yeah just stalking amongst the sleeping
wages at night
now I'm 27 and I still hold Yeah, of neat people. Yeah, just stalking amongst the sleeping wagers at night.
Now I'm 27, and I still hold my promise from back.
I get unemployment money.
Which is, wait, how do you get unemployment money?
You've never been employed.
You can't get unemployment unless you have been employed.
Yeah, he doesn't even know the money he gets. I get the feeling that a lot of these people are in the UK.
And correct me if I'm wrong.
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
If you're in the UK, then you could get unemployment.
Yeah.
Anyway.
I don't know.
Yes, I believe so.
Well, that might have changed.
Okay, so only from watching Spaced, I think that if you are just unemployed, you get money
from the UK.
It was in the 7-Up series, too.
Like, there was, like, they had, like, the lower class kids and then like they were just like the deepest anthropological
research the f plus has ever done yeah well my entire lifetime of being obsessed with british
television shows um it's gotta pay off one way or another fucking neat um hey uh so all i do
every day is and this is gonna be
This list is gonna fucking surprise you
If you had guesses
About what's gonna be on this list
Okay
I'll bet like he's
Writing the great American novel
Yeah, and he's reading those self-help books
And doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Yeah, so number one, playing video games
Wow
Number two Number two, watching Well, actually, kind of Yeah, so number one, playing video games. Wow.
Is Funko Pops on this list?
Number two, watching, well, actually, kind of.
Number two is watching anime.
Oh, all right.
Number three, to your point, Achilles, is buying anime merch online.
Okay.
That's a separate activity.
I guess that is a separate activity, yeah.
Yeah.
And number four, it's a really concise point, is living in my own world, which I created in my head.
My parents give me some money every month, so they just let me be.
Your parents get some of your money?
My parents get some of my money every month, so they just let me be.
That's an interesting arrangement.
I've spent thousands of euros.
There you go.
So not English.
On anime figures, video games, new computer components, other anime merch.
Most of the time, I don't even know what date or time it is.
I don't really care.
That really is the dream.
I weight 50 kilograms on 175 centimeters, leave the house maybe once every three months.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Wow.
I mean, I'm sure the weather in Denmark sucks,
but wow.
To do some money related stuff.
I don't care or enjoy being a part of a family.
My only friends are the online
friends I made while playing video games.
I expect to die in my 40s and 50s
and intend to live like this until then.
So he expects to die when his parents die, essentially.
I mean, and good odds making on that one.
All right, let's see here. yeah wow yeah yeah uh the the responses are kind of bummers
what do you mean with the way i drink i don't think i'm going past 50s as possible
energy drinks and junk food only what's depressing about that that's nothing depressing about that
that sounds great sounds like you unlocked the secret, motherfucker.
No, I never drink water.
Energy drinks, iced tea, or any other soda are the only things I drink,
and I can't remember the last time I ate something self-made.
Ha-ha.
Like, he has enough self-reflection to know that that's a bad thing.
And here's a little insight into what we were just talking about.
I'm from Germany, and here you get your
415 euros no matter what. It doesn't matter
if you've worked before. They even pay for your apartment
flat if you live alone. That's Germany
for you.
Okay, alright. Now we know about
Germany.
Yeah, let's all be nice in Germany. Sounds good.
We could have a little neat commune.
That would be so fun. Oh, I like that.
Except for, like, I don't want to work to make the commune.
Oh, fuck.
Okay, Boots, you're going to ask a question.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
You got something else you wanted to read there, Boots, didn't you?
Yeah.
Hey, I just have this question here.
It's been really, really important to me.
Yeah, I see it. here. It's been really, really important to me.
So,
have any of you working on your spiritual side?
Sure,
being a life loser is out of your control,
but one can still work on a
spiritual side to become a human of
higher sentience.
Or is it a cope?
I'm triggered by the word cope.
That's fair.
And then I need Bored Rebel to respond to me.
Yeah, but before that happens,
my mustard courage,
mustard courage.
I think I am when I smoke a lot of weed,
but it's most likely delusion.
Not that I haven't been working on myself.
I'm getting those upvotes, dog.
Upvotes.
Squiddy, take board rebel, please.
Ah!
I don't believe in
anything spiritual. I think all
religion is a cope.
The hell is a human of higher sentence to you? What a cope. The hell is a human of higher sense to you?
What? Sorry.
The hell is a human of higher sentience.
Oh, sorry. The hell is a human of higher sentience.
I read that very poorly.
More
empathic towards others,
more aware of his animalistic
side and ego, and
tries to see things from the third
perspective. Works on his knowledge
and pushing his limits isn't obsessed with pussy money being better than others trying to reduce
suffering in the world practicing controlling his emotions basically doing all the things which
attract less pussy but it makes you more pleasant.
Don't laugh at me.
I'm being spiritual.
I'm being really spiritual right now,
and you're just laughing at me,
and you're taking all my spirit out of me.
Can you attract negative pussy?
Please stop laughing.
Negative pussy.
Negative pussy.
Being spiritual means reducing your pussy quotient.
What happens when pussy and nega-pussy
touch each other?
It is a cope, of course,
but if you dismiss all the copes in life,
it is over for you, pretty much.
There is a difference between
Instagram party whore
and stoic when you speak...
No, I'm pretty sure all of the stoics
were Instagram party whores. Yeah sure all of the stoics were Instagram followers
Yeah, like of the day, really
When you speak with each of them
so you try to be less like the former
and more like the latter
So come Quatsop
Your name is Tamarindo
cough syrup
Hooray
Who else completely gave up
in what is your average day like?
My God!
Awful!
Real good.
Real, real good.
I have cut all contact from everyone.
Not too many people, TBH.
I knew except my immediate family,
and now I stay at my room most of the time
and mostly just do DXML blasting music
and masturbate to degenerate shit!
No!
And then, uh, uh,
Squiddy, your name is, uh, Margo
Bisbee? Margo Bisbee.
I gave up a long time ago.
Typical day.
Wake up around noon, home alone. Make breakfast. Play Neo. Oh, uh-oh, I don't know long time ago. Typical day. Wake up around noon, home alone.
Make breakfast.
Play Neo.
Uh-oh, I don't know what that is.
It's a game.
Okay.
For an hour or two while listening to lectures or audiobooks at two times speed.
Very good.
Very efficient.
Excellent.
Well, I need to save that time.
Yeah.
Because then I jerk off for two hours while still listening to the lectures.
Do you jerk off at two experts?
Oh my gosh, that just blew my mind.
How would that work?
Go ride my bike alone in the woods for two hours while jerking off.
While listening to atmospheric black metal or lectures.
Make dinner and eat while watching TV.
Raid for four hours.
Yeah!
Make lunch.
Spend the rest of the night gaming while listening to lectures, reading forums, or writing music.
Okay, you're having lunch at like 8 p.m. it looks like.
Yeah!
That's efficient.
And then the first
two responses to you are people
that are jealous that you have the money for that
shit.
How do I have the money
for that shit?
How do I have the money?
Playing a video game and eating lunch! What the fuck
you lucky bastard! How do I have the money? You play a video game and eat lunch. What the fuck, you lucky bastard?
How do I have the money to jerk off so much?
Vero OK says, that's pretty cool.
Sounds like perfect life.
I'm sure you posted this somewhere else.
The wage cucks would be jealous.
Living the fucking dream. Helis? Yeah, what's's up i'm fireheart251 uh dxm like tossing yeah i love that high
but man i hate that syrup i'm mouth ass 187 Hey! Ah!
Also, 1A7 is funny because it's a mouth-ass murder.
Oh my god.
Well, that's best name of the episode for sure.
Yeah, I have this to say.
Yeah, yeah.
Dollar Tree capsules are one dollar.
Oh, thanks, man.
What brand?
I'm in Dollar Tree right now and I barely see any medicine and mostly the syrups.
Is that one1 per capsule?
Oh, God.
Hey, I'm White Hood XXXX.
Oh, I don't like that name.
Why not? That's not a good name.
That's bad name.
I just have a bleach hoodie. It's fine.
So you're a sexy ghost? I hope.
Yes.
In your neighborhood.
Spend the day doing errands with my mother.
And also, I make hundreds of YouTube videos.
Please subscribe to my channel, heart.
And then here's what happens when you click on my YouTube channel.
You see, this account has been terminated for violating YouTube's community guidelines.
Yay! Wow!
That's a high bar you just jumped over buddy
Fucking wages keeping them down
I'm worse than PewDiePie
Wow
That's impressive
Thank you
So this one's
In the documents because
For some reason the user
The deleted user deleted this post
And I do not know why,
because this user is bringing some fucking truth.
So, Achilles?
Yeah?
What do you feel about the environment?
My name is NoOneKnowsMyName95.
I bet I know what year you were born, though.
That was a real upgrade from No One Knows My Name 3.1.
That shit was unusable.
All right.
Being neat is eco-friendly.
There's no need to drive, so less carbon emissions.
Good point.
Good point.
Not creating endless waste
at a company
that throws away shit
that ends up in a landfill.
Okay.
Problematic.
No friends.
So no driving their houses
so less carbon emissions.
Have I talked about that yet?
Yeah.
Are you aware that
things other than cars exist?
Do you know that that's true?
Yeah, they're created by companies that throw things in landfills.
Fuck, I forgot about that!
Yeah.
Truth.
No money to spend on useless shit.
The only useless shit I buy, I have money,
is stuff I find at thrift stores that would have ended up in a landfill otherwise.
Also, I can cry while reading about the destruction of the planet while wages are actively participating in said destruction.
And paying attention to the latest gossips
and sports and politics.
Oh, the sports, good!
Oh, etc.
instead. So crying
is eco-friendly?
That's helpful, yeah.
He's planting, like he's
watering plants with his tears.
Yeah, definitely like
what you're reading about has a huge
environmental impact.
No one else feels
sad about the destruction of the planet.
You just gotta desalinate your tears
first, though.
Anyway, we're
doomed to extinction anyway,
so I'm enjoying my low-energy
low-impact lifestyle.
That's good.
That's good.
Just crushing nihilism is what I like to find in all my saviors.
Yeah.
I am the way and the light, but fuck it.
We're all screwed anyway.
I'm not depressed.
I'm improving society.
Oh, okay, cool. Yeah. People tell us we're not contributing to society, and they're right. I'm not depressed I'm improving society Oh okay cool
Yeah people tell us we're not contributing
To society and they're right
Because contributing to society
You just judo flipped your mother right there
Use her strength against her
Because contributing to society is actively contributing to ecological collapse and the extinction of our species.
And excuse me, I'm returning to Twitch to stream.
The most eco-friendly of all websites.
Please subscribe to my channel.
Yes, that'll be $10 to jeff bezos thank you
um okay uh squiddy i think this one's probably for you okay
wait specifically yeah but like yeah yeah is that where is that where you did this i think this is a missive
posted at you yes you're an asshole if you create kids to work fuck you sorry i thought
i thought i said if you create kids at work
because like kinda yeah yeah I think that would yeah
fuck you if you have kids you fucking
scum disgusting all this
bullshit for what a living toy
that calls you mommy or daddy
17 years
of dependence then bam that's life
kiddo go suffer kill yourself
stop complaining you aren't entitled it's not
my fault you suck at life take responsibility
for the rest of your life, godforsaken life, till you die.
I wonder if those are any of the things that you've heard spoken at you.
From their parents?
Yeah, I don't take responsibility for the fact that you forced me into a harsh world,
knowing what could be the outcome, but that's okay. Nobody care about you.
Wow. force me into a harsh world knowing what could be the outcome but that's okay nobody care about you wow or maybe you do but oh well too late now sweetie i'm morally a piece of shit but at least i'm not a snowflake yeah that's wow own the libs own the libs
go ahead suffering isn't bad life is just so. It's okay that people suffer. I'm just so happy.
Working 9 to 5, doing a job you hate every fucking day.
Wow, isn't life so wonderful?
Don't have any friends? Oh, well, that's your fault. It's got nothing to do with genetics.
What?
Nice.
What?
What?
Is he blaming his mom for being too ugly to have friends?
Is that what's happening?
Oh, no.
He's blaming Chad over there earned everything because he worked so hard for his friends.
He truly did.
Uh-oh.
Someone sound the incel alarm.
Yeah.
No, this is like in friend.
In friend.
In friend.
Involuntarily friendless.
Don't like life?
What?
That's absurd.
You're mentally ill.
Just be happy, kiddo.
Well, LMAO, stop being a downer.
Having kids is great because I need love in my life. Let me be selfish and create life and make him suffer
for me.
Despicable
fucking humans. I hope you
all burn in unspeakable
malevolence.
Now I'm going to go watch anime.
Wow. Really good. Thanks King Omega. wow really good thanks king omega king omega so uh so here we are on uh boots i'm gonna give you uh this one right here
i do like one of the the responses to this that has uh negative one
upvotes wow what an edgelord.
That's some cringey, pathetic, juvenile
shit.
Yes.
That's just a bot that responds
to all these posts.
Oh my god, do you know
how to create a Reddit bot that would do that?
That would be hilarious.
I don't know, but I could learn.
And then, in response to that, Margot Bisbee says,
I really don't give a shit what the world thinks it does or does not owe me.
I will take it by force.
Link to Alex Jones.
Yeah!
I got the sword!
Hey, Boots.
I'm deleted, and here's what I've found,
is that R9K is too boring, and Reddit is too PC.
Wow.
That's right.
What's R9K?
Well, R9K is a 4chan board.
Yeah.
So comparatively, I guess Reddit is a bit too PC for 4chan.
Sure, sure.
But why would 4chan be boring?
I can't imagine that.
Because you've been pilled so hard.
Ow! Fuck!
Anyway, so yeah,
that's all true. And what websites
don't suck, Boots? Yeah,
I'm also deleted.
Okay, so what websites don't suck?
So here's what I have to say.
What websites don't suck? The part of the internet that sucks is the humans who create the pages.
People don't know how deeply beshitted their fatty hearts are with their cuck souls.
I like that word, beshitted.
That's a good one.
That's a real good one.
Yeah.
So sorry, there isn't anywhere online that doesn't suck.
It's only variations on arrangements of text and image.
I demand smell-o-vision on the internet now!
I want some tactile posts.
Give me something olfactory.
Increasingly irrelevant to what you're browsing for skewed
by marketing to try and bridge a gap between their target audience and untapped profit sources
i just described 4chan.
Okay.
Reddit is bad.
Like Fark.
Something awful.
Anon boards.
Chans.
Video game review sites.
YouTube.
And every other website which is someone trying to sell you their life story for the cost of paying for their life to continue.
That's a quote.
Paying for their life to continue.
You know, it's too bad that the internet is the only thing that exists.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, literally, literally every website is bad.
Yeah.
Well, because people make the websites. Every website is bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. bad. Yeah. Because people make the websites. Every website is bad.
Yeah.
And if you want to prove that, you can
come to Ball Pet.
Come Quatsop.
Oh, yes.
I'm going to give you a choice here.
One thread is by
Pet X's and it asks,
Is it wrong that I just want to play computer games?
And the other post is by RevolverWarto,
and it says, Stay a while and listen.
Mummy won't buy me game console and PC.
Oh.
Oh. Mummy. Mummy, me game console and PC.
Mummy?
Mummy, please? Mummy?
I need a game console, Mummy.
Mummy, I need a taste of the game console. Yeah, I've got to go with Mummy.
Okay, okay.
So, I'm going to give you
the Mummy
thread, and while you're looking at that,
I'm going to point out that in the other thread,
is it wrong, just want to play computer games,
this guy points out that
he is a
neat, he doesn't do any
work, and
he bought a house
that's worth half a million dollars.
And orders
all of his food on Uber Eats. eats oh so that's the other coke brother
child okay he says he's got he says that he's got around 400k in crypto eat shit because the thing
is i don't spend a lot of money i don't have a girlfriend to impress i only spend about 25 to
50 on food daily usually ordering in with with Uber Eats, which at that point
that's your fucking delivery charge.
There is no financial pressure for me to work.
I got pretty lucky.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
With that, I currently
own my house outright, Zillow at $500,000,
and two cars in the U.S.
and one car in my home country.
I have about $400,000 in crypto.
Beyond this, I do expect to receive about
$2 million in inheritance. Beyond this, I do expect to receive about $2 million
in inheritance.
The issue is that I sometimes
feel guilty I'm not doing more with my
life.
So that
makes me a good person, right?
Yeah. I hope you drown
in the bucket that you pee in when you watch anime.
I feel like these super rich people are just trolling these neat guys, though.
Like, why?
I mean, they live in the same life, just with different scenery.
I suppose.
Wow.
Anyway, what do you got there, Kumpquazop?
Oh, yes, hello, I'm Revolver Warto.
Stay a while and listen.
Mummy won't buy me game console and PC.
She a doctor, but we in the third world, South
East Asia.
She is 61,
I 29.
I always
tell her to give me 50,000 pesos,
1,000 USD,
so that I can MGTOW
and hire an escort.
That's what that means.
Oh, yeah! You're going your own way!
That's definitely what
that means.
She does not believe
that I can live on my own
because I have bipolar 1.
I am forced to take medication for bipolar.
These meds may cause shrinking of the gray matter,
therefore reducing my 120 IQ to 80.
Yeah.
That's science.
That's good.
I have to wait 20 years
before I get to own the condominium
and the Hyundai Accent!
There are medications that would lower your IQ 40 points,
but I don't think they're legal.
Give me my Hyundai Accent!
give me my hyundai accent my dad had a hyundai accent when i was in high school
hyundai accent is the voice that kumquat's using
but but what if she lives up to 100? The bitch!
She doesn't even want me to drive.
I can't get a job because I don't have the confidence.
Other reasons as well.
I grew up without a dad. Dad got into drugs and left when I was 12.
Life is though.
My gaming
anime backlog is growing, and I
won't live forever!
Man, that
hit close to home.
Oh my god, my
Q! That's the reality
that we all have to face.
The PC is important
so i can do online work thank you a little early to be having a no life crisis
hey revolver kumquat oh yes you had. You had a response to your own thread.
Can you read that for me?
What's your response?
You responded to your own thread.
You didn't get any upvotes for it, though.
Yes, this is Revolver Warto responding to my own post.
Yes.
Attention.
I want to have sex so bad.
And it would be bad.
Sex so bad. I want to have sex in my hyundai accent
that doesn't work oh what's up my name is not safe for work act a okay and um i'm sponsoring a neat sponsor adopt live in idk i'm a 27 year old who narrowly avoided
neatism in college i was coward yeah i'm not a true aristocrat in college i was headed down
that path when the planet blows up it's going to be your fucking fault
it's true
well no because I'm sponsoring
a neat so strongly but I got
I got on an SSRI
that works for me after bouncing
around with a few that did not and
now I'm in the workforce
in a quite decent job
but waiting for this post to turn
well here it comes
but I'm alone i've only had one relationship
and it was seven years ago i'm overweight and never got out aside from work i have very few
co-workers and none in my age group okay but i do have a neat online friend.
He's so neat.
And he joked in the past about
finding some cute lonely woman to host him
as a live-in
BF slash neat thing.
Oh no.
Oh no.
Oh no.
What? What's the problem? I can't get murdered
in this situation. No way.
Where she would pay the bills and he would cook and clean.
Wait, do house stuff?
Yeah, I'm a house slave. What can I say?
But ideally, Squiddy, it would be a relationship.
Oh, that sounds nice.
Is this like reverse Fyndom?
Yeah, that's what I was just thinking.
Is this like reverse Fyndom?
Yeah, that's what I was just thinking.
It got me considering the idea from the other side.
Not with him, I'm gay, but with someone.
Is the idea as crazy as it sounds?
Probably is, but maybe worth it?
I, I'm just, I'm okay... I'm trying to figure this one out.
Yeah, I mean, I would love to have a house husband who cooked and cleaned and watched anime.
And, uh...
You know, all of our chores!
Yeah, I have a feeling
that watching anime would take priority.
God damn it!
I told you to watch Naruto
before I got home! This backlog ain't gonna watch itself! God damn it i told you to watch naruto before i got home this backlog ain't gonna watch itself
god damn it and he's he also played games because i'm into the nerdy type so uh while i'm at work
who greets me warmly when i get in says sets a table for dinner, and who cuddles me at night.
Am I crazy?
No, but your standards are fucking weird.
And then, Achilles, you respond to yourself.
Oh, yeah.
A working spouse.
Well, a working spouse may not have time to cook, even if you can get the cleaning done by splitting responsibilities oh good he doesn't even
have to do that much okay great yeah anime cleaning yeah but does he have to watch all the
anime well yeah that i mean i'm kicking him to the fucking curb if he doesn't do that shit um
they might be tired and stressed in the evenings just like me
it's possibility though
in particular
I'm cool with helping a neat enter the workforce
perhaps only part time
oh now they want me to fucking work too
this is like a fucking missionary
you're trying to convert
no come on basically
I'm cool either way
the idea of a stay atat-home spouse is appealing,
but someone with a job that is lower stress than mine could work, too.
I don't work, though. Work!
You know, anime work.
One reason I was drawn to the idea is I'm attracted to lots of the neat stereotypes.
Um, pale white dude.
Oh, yeah.
Low sexual and romantic
experience. Oh, yeah.
Maybe a bit
clean or needy.
Oh, yeah.
Those are positives to me.
Some of them strong positive
and it's hard to find them
in the wild.
Is it?
Men with emotional issues?
Anywhere? Anyone? Anyone?
Yeah, no, I don't know.
I keep going into the wilderness
and there are none there.
I killed all these slimes,
but I didn't find a single clingy or needy dude.
Also,
my interests tend to match theirs.
I mean, anime, video
games, tech. Does that
make sense?
I've been watching a certain amount
of 90 Day Fiance lately.
This is the archetype right here.
By the way, that that shows pretty fucking great
if you want if you want atrocity
tourism and
emotionally broken people
what did we learn from any
of this F plus
Reddit
Reddit gotta Reddit I guess Reddit gotta Reddit got a Reddit
I guess
Reddit got a Reddit for sure
so
is this just the most honest subreddit?
it's possible
but then they're still doing showboating
well they also say they're fucking the new aristocrats
all that kind of stuff too
so that's what I was
trying to figure out
the idea of you know sort of like uh general like clinical depression running
through this that makes sense i get you know i get i get why that would be tied together
um all of the like mra red pill shit i don't know if that makes sense for this community or if it's
just the idea because it's a reddit that it's like that or if it's like that just general like Internet based on happiness just makes you one of those guys.
This goes this goes hand in hand with that.
Like, you know, society has no place for me.
A straight white man.
Like bullshit.
It's Jordan Peterson shit, you know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
it's it's jordan peterson shit you know like the yeah yeah there's so many people in everyone that we've profiled and and you know and and obviously there's actually some emotional issues going on
here but like but like you're looking at a lot of stories for people that have had a bunch of
opportunities presented to them that have had a bunch of people in their lives that care about them and
support them and yet this is still always the choice to make like this is this is where you
want to go what's kind of comforting though that like you know if i uh if i lose my job and can't
find another one that there's uh still a lot further down i can go from there
i could be a much worse person well and it's i mean it's also like sort of a uh a really really
specific because you know we've talked a lot about this sort of like echo chamber and how like you
know no matter how fucked up you are you can always find a website where people are more fucked up and whatever and this is this is
the fastest way to that like are you feeling like a loser because because i'm sure that we can just
out loser each other like we're gonna bind ourselves uh by being losers and if you're a
loser you can go to ball pit
yep yep
K-A-L-L-P dot I-T
can you imagine
can you imagine by the way
if we actually at any point
had the paid ad
and we treated our sponsors
that carefully
this episode And we treated our sponsors that carefully.
This episode.
Wow.
Squarespace.
Do you like making sites, but you suck at it?
Squarespace.
Anyway, Paul Pitsnick aside.
Also, you might not know this, but we know this,
is that we are doing another F Plus Live!
Yeah, but we're not going to work for it at all.
No.
F Plus Live,
January 18th
in Portland, Oregon.
Portland, Oregon, so you've got some time to figure
out where to go to
Portland, Oregon. There'll be another weekend event figure out where to go to Portland, Oregon.
There'll be another weekend event.
We'll do the show, and then we'll have another day of other stuff.
Like anime.
Yeah, we'll watch anime.
Oh my god, and do so much acting.
It'll just be an entire day
of acting.
Alright, bye-bye.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye..-D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D Pick up a trade with your wage slave money.
Make 30 plus dollars an hour.
Trades are almost always in demand.
Lol.
Then be a cock to some tradesman crawling on your hands and knees making minimum wage
That's me.
Those are my lines.
That's what I said.
Cutting is hard.
I'm sorry.
What she said.
Cutting is hard.
I'm sorry.
What she said.
This is why my office is all fucked up.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I didn't scroll down.
Was that your line?
That's fine.
I think it was a good joke for me to say that's my line and then to say that's just what she said.
Okay. I got lost. I like it. Just leave it for me to say, that's my line, and then to say, that's just what she said. Okay.
I got lost.
I like it.
Just leave it like that.
That's all right.
That's an edit point.
Okay.
So, yeah.