The F Plus - 335: Planet Horny
Episode Date: September 18, 2020The redditors over at r/NSFWworldbuilding are constructing intricate creative universes for one reason: To make themselves horny. This week, The F Plus can say so much with ellipses; please liste...n.
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Yes, here is the announcement you've been waiting for.
It only happens once a year.
You mean the 4th of July?
No.
The World Series?
No.
Groundhog Day?
No.
We mean Garbage Day.
Hey, kids.
Is everything still absolutely horrible?
Let our frowns be your umbrella.
Prepare yourselves for Garbage Day 2020.
Garbage year. The F
Plus 24-hour live marathon
to benefit the National Network of Abortion
Funds, October 24th.
Save the date.
Join the F Plus ridiculous and
special guests as they power through
24 straight hours
of terrible things read with enthusiasm.
It may not be the best content, but it is the most.
Plus, artists let their creative juices flow,
producing live interpretations of the proceedings for you.
Truly the finest of fine art in a smorgasbord for the ears and eyes.
Stay tuned to thefpl-E-F-P-L dot U-S for more details. It only happens once a year. Don't miss it. Welcome, and please appreciate the world that we have crafted for you.
It's the F Plus Podcast, Terrible Things, but read with enthusiasm.
In the room tonight we have Boots Rangier.
How could I justify homophobia in a hermaphroditic species?
John Toast.
Men. Our men. Nothing really exciting about them.
Kumquats up I created a world where every man can shoot lightning from their penises
And every woman can shoot fire from their vaginas
And Lemon
How do I make interspecies sex appeal plausible?
I mean it needs to happen
but like you gotta like it
I don't know
have you considered not
I have to how do I do it
I have to do it
it just needs to happen
with my own bare hands I can shed all the bad shit
Fuck, move a dripper
Suck it all, my shit
Kick you in the pussy
Never tell my motherfucker
Suck my fucking dick
Hey, F-Plus.
Hello.
Hey, do you all revel in the mystery of the world around us
like right now yeah yeah are you overwhelmed by the magnitude and beauty of the world around us
uh as long as uh as long as kumquat tells me to be okay all right all right you know that's something
that i've personally been struggling with uh just sort of like you know appreciating appreciating
the world and that's because this world is boring but i've found a better world and that better
world uh is located at reddit uh specifically reddit.com slash r slash
NSFW world
building. Oh, good.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
It's a subreddit.
Among subreddits,
I wouldn't say it's the most popular.
Let me just go ahead and say that I'm 18
so I can view this community. It's got
3.8 thousand members, so not too bad.
But it says not safe for world building, not safe for world building.
This community is intended to be an alternative to our slash world building that is more welcoming of NSFW content and world.
So this is, you know, creative people, creative fiction, creative writing.
And they're just sort of describing their worlds is this is
this good for like any type of sexy world like if I'm if I have like a sexy horny video game
or just like a sexy horny pathfinder game with my friends you know I sure hope so I guess we'll
have to check the creative commons on each of these worlds to know whether or not we can build our own intellectual property.
But I'm just going to tell you about my first world that I have here.
It's pretty good.
It's pretty good.
I think you're going to be interested.
My name is Ertank.
Ertank.
Ertank. Are you okay, Levin? I'm fine. I'm fine. Air-townk. Air-twonk. Air-twonk.
Are you okay, Lemon?
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I'm going to tell you about my mouth headphones.
So I had this idea.
I've had ideas for some settings in my NSFW world that involved headphones, listening in on other people having sex, getting commands to do pervy stuff in public, hypnosis, making yourself seem oblivious to your surroundings
in order to tempt pervs to feel you up, to name a few.
But I thought electric devices didn't really fit in my fantasy setting.
But now I had an idea how to make them fit in.
Instead of two electric speakers,
the headphones have two biological speakers i.e. mouse with soft full lips
and long tongues and all that why two do you still do you still like press them against your ears
yeah yeah yeah absolutely yeah they're always licking the inside of your ears isn't that great
no it's great it's so sexy incoming transmission
i also like that the whole thing it's like actually having technology in my world that
would be too outlandish what i want to do is like have people to put two cronenberg
horrors on the tides of their heads because that would be more realistic you know we don't want to break immersion here so these mouths are magically linked to the mouth of
whomever you are listening to imagine listening to two people having passionate sex in the next room
you could link the mouths of your headphone to their mouths and you're right in the middle of the action.
You can hear... So wait, they're having
sex with each other, but
they're like listening to you listen
to them?
They're just like broadcasting to you. They're just like
live streaming to you.
It's like tongue twitch.
Thank you for the
bits.
You can hear every word and every moan as if it was whispered directly into your ears.
Your ears and cheeks get tickled by their hot breath.
And when they make out, this is the best part here.
When they make out, your ears get prone by their tongues.
You like it so much.
How do your headphones
feel right now in your head, Boots?
I don't like
this lemon.
When they suck on something, your
ears get sucked too.
But they don't notice anything strange.
When it isn't linked to anybody,
their mouths would just absentmindedly
kiss, suck suck and lick
and occasionally even softly moan and giggle that's their idle state what
what is what are they are they sent you no they're just stimming yeah
at all times it's just like a existential nightmare of these living headphones?
These headphones.
These headphones.
This is the only world that they know is sucking and kissing and licking.
Even when no human is connected to them, that is all they can do because that is the only world that they have ever known since birth.
I can't wait for this movie.
The bow or bow,
I don't know,
that connects the speakers is hollow
with a fleshy tunnel
running underneath
connecting the orifices.
What?
You like that part too?
You like that part?
Great.
Excellent.
If you have long,
pointy, elvish ears,
then you would get sucked
right into that tunnel.
About the look
of the headphones. I thought either have them look like a pair of connected
horns, sort of like drinking horns, or seashells.
Yoho.
The latter would fit my world's overall style, since its fauna already consists of
mollusks. There's already
some association of the old saying
that you can hear the ocean
by holding a seashell to your ear.
If you can hear the ocean, why not
hear other things as well
with the right spells? The lips would protrude
out and look like those ring
shaped ear kushkins
you find on the
speakers of larger headphones.
I'm done.
I've just came cushions,
cush cushions.
Project Moon Province says I'd like this,
but in handheld form,
like using a sponge.
Like using a sponge.
It's like using a sponge. Yeah.
Toast, your name is
Red Castle Siblings
and this post that you made here
is tagged Not Safe for Life.
Yes. I am Red Castle Siblings. here is is tagged not safe for life yes i am red castle siblings but title of my post is
man becoming a part of the woman after sex uh so an angler fish
please listen okay okay i have an idea of an alien species where the woman is ten times as big as the male.
Okay, so exactly like an anglerfish.
Yeah.
Got it.
Please listen.
Okay, sorry.
I'm so sorry.
They usually spend years as romantic partners.
Evaluating is they want to be stuck till death with each other's.
Hey, Toast, you know what that's like?
What?
It's kind of like an igloo fish.
Please listen. Okay.
A virgin woman has one
hole on her belly that
if a man were to put his parts inside
he will become stuck for life.
Only his chest and up will remain over her skin.
He'll get what he needs from her, but the men will often want to eat and breathe for themselves.
Sure, they can want a lot of things, I suppose.
Yeah, yeah.
Stimulating the skin around the male will trigger an orgasm for the female.
Not like an anglerfish.
The female orgasm
Please listen. The female orgasm
still mulates the
male and will last till the
male has reached his.
When she gets
pregnant, a new canal will develop
from her uterus to
between the man's legs for her skin.
If they are having a girl, the man's
legs will unfortunately be brutally
broken.
That's unfortunate.
The male will secrete milk from nipples
on his shoulders.
Is this becoming a new thing?
I don't believe you
just heard what I said. The male will
secrete milk from nipples on his
shoulders.
Will The male will secrete milk from nipples on his shoulders. Well, will the male be surprised when that happens?
Aren't you glad you listened?
What the fuck?
Now would be a good time to talk about the new art section on the website.
Oh, no.
If you have not been recently,
thefpl.us forward slash fan art,
you're going to see a page,
and you should contribute to it.
Yeah, I mean, I hadn't thought about my costume for the next F Plus Live, but now I have.
Oh, it's a partner costume.
That's fun.
After five years with a male inside,
the woman will develop a new hole for an additional male.
Although possible, most women will not do this.
You said that they had...
They will, but they mostly won't.
Okay, you said that they only had one hole, but that's fine.
When a man becomes part of a woman,
he'll lose his legal rights and is seen as a body part if if the woman
that's the end of that sentence
this to the point where she can tattoo or have surgery on him against his will
unfortunately the man only needs his brain spinal cord and blood to each above her skin to survive
most women leave their partners intact, but sadly
some don't. Some places are trying to make
laws against extreme surgery on males
against their consent.
Is a lawyer involved in any of this?
I retain none of that.
What the hell was that?
Hey Lemon, can you read the comment from Pat Powers
1995? Yeah, you bet, man.
You bet. Pat Powers.
Absolutely. There's an
animal species?
There's an animal species?
Hey, just let me take you over.
Just let me take you over here.
Okay. I'll let you in
on something. There's an animal species
that actually does this.
The anglerfish please listen i'm sorry i said it on instinct i'm sorry
um uh yeah you have a response to that you have a response to that oh I know and I took inspiration
from that but the whole man destroying
everything is gone
they are sentient and humanoid
it could be used for horror
it could be
yeah
come quest up you have a prompt for us
right oh
oh yes my name is Epithemethius, in which some guy crowdsources some concept work.
What?
I can't imagine.
No.
This happens?
No.
Okay.
Our NSFW world building.
Brainstorm time!
If this ain't the right sort of
place for this, I apologize
in advance, and you can feel free
to delete this, but
I've
got a setting
with
snake girls!
You know,
Lamia,
Naga, whichever.
For societal reasons,
chastity belts
exist for them.
And therein lies the problem.
No legs, just tail.
Oh, God.
Okay, so you're into Naga,
but you want chastity belts, and that doesn't make sense.
And that's a problem.
Your bow is fighting with itself.
I need crowdsourced
donor help. Okay.
I'm Reddit. Thank you.
Yeah, you are.
I'm woven detergent, much the same as a human chastity belt assuming your snake girls
have hips right right hips imagine hips on a snake are you doing it are you doing it are you
there you're basically there right yeah hips on a snake yeah i feel like those hips are lying to me
yeah no my snake hips never lie. Danzig, Danzig.
Assuming your snake girls have hips and reproduce via cloaca located somewhere in their vicinity.
Somewhere in their vicinity.
Like downstairs.
You'd want to go with a tight-fitting metallic skirt that's fixed by pinching above the hips.
You know, hips that snakes have. and below where the tail narrows enough.
As an alternative, a scaled mailed shirt
with a strong chain cinch at its base
that could be tight and locked could work too.
Like a onesie.
Sure.
Oh,
sorry.
My name's a,
a ironwood sort of a stupid idea,
but what about a design that has two straps attached to the part that covers
their lady parts from the front?
The straps make an X shape as they would
wrap around the snake girl.
I hope I made that clear enough.
Hi, I'm the knower of things
apparently.
It doesn't necessarily have to be belt.
Assuming its function is to limit sexual interaction
rather than preserve normal virginity.
Not sure if snakes even have hymens?
Thanks for putting that thought in my head. I also not sure and you know what i think i may die never learning what about it never learn oh and we're just going to another thing i love
i'd love to put in my head what about a cloacal plug
i think i saw them open for guar
just ignore the other purpose for that hole
well for a while
but eventually you're going to have to stop ignoring
that
then it's a cloacal bullet and then he and then this weaponized and then this uh this poster goes into detail about the
construction shape and purposes of the said plug yeah yeah yeah oh good way I think we're a pair of anguish
pair of anguish yeah
it'll look like a pair of anguish apparently
yeah exactly
anyway you get your own there Boots
yeah my name's
Selena the Cape
and I posted
my superhero world is a bit
unconventional. Oh, fine!
Do tell.
Sorry for any formatting issues. I am
on mobile and I'm sleep deprived.
I decided
to make a superhero universe
with a heavy emphasis on
sex and BDSM.
Congratulations on being first to that idea.
Yeah. I've been a part of the community for a few years,
and I have an unhealthy obsession with superheroes.
Why not combine the two?
You've been a part of which community?
The superhero community?
Maybe the NSFW world-building community?
Okay.
Ah.
Powers usually have sexual undertones or mechanics behind them a good
example would be superhuman strength determined by how aroused the user is okay okay i like that
i like that like horny hulk yeah don't make me horny you wouldn't like me when I'm horny.
Due to the sexual nature of powers,
many try to conceal certain aspects of them.
A prominent hero wouldn't want people to know that his strength only works when he's aroused.
This has caused a major rift between powered people.
People that can hide the sexual side of their powers are often treated much better than the ones that can't or refuse to conceal it.
The governments of the world each have their own way of handling powered people.
Countries that are more sexually liberal often have more traditional superheroes okay
yep that makes sense yep countries that lean the other way either have heroes that are a bit low
key i'm uh i'm imagining right now the like uh you know some sort of you know the manhattan's
on fire or whatever and the flash, needs to get over there,
so he locks himself in the bathroom and starts jerking off.
Yeah, this is an arms race,
but all of those arms are making a jerk-off motion.
Spider-Man, can you save me?
Yeah, just take your socks off. countries sorry uh they often work behind the scenes to fight crime instead of fighting in
public then there are places that have zero tolerance policy for powered people oh yeah all right i
have nothing else to say about that no it's very hot though that's all i have at the moment any
input or suggestions would be appreciated my name's gail tada interesting and unique
seeing as women are multi-orgasmic does that give them an inherent advantage compared to
men in the arousal example a man would lose all of his strength of the climax and need to recharge
while a woman could turn herself on again more immediate it would
depend on the power
if someone had the power to induce
orgasms through touch
it could actually be a huge
disadvantage
oh shit so like rogue
he touches Wolverine and she just
jizzes his pants
she's called Come Rogue.
Well, all right, darling.
This was one for you, Kumquatsoff.
Oh.
You got a world in your head.
Yes.
Oh, boy. Mm-hmm. You got a world in your head Yes Oh boy Sex slave
Sex pets
Tell me in lewd detail
About your sexy people
Owned by other people
Okay
Bullet one
Who can become a slave or pet who can own one bullet number two how accepted
is ownership by society or the law do people get judged for this are there circumstances
where it's not okay to own sex slaves if it acceptable, what made it acceptable? Bullet three.
What rights do sex slaves have?
Are owners not allowed to do?
How is this enforced?
How do slaves who've been mistreated
get help?
Oh, God.
Number four. What rights do
owners have?
Yeah! Yeah! Good point!
Why won't they think of the
sex slave owners every once in a while?
What are sex slaves not
allowed to do?
Free-wheeling sex slaves!
Point five.
Day-to-day, what's a slave's life
like?
Imagine it involves sex.
How much can
sex slave life differ for people?
How do slaves work for, say,
single people versus couples?
Bullet six, how do I buy one?
And nobody bothered
to respond to your post, so World in my
head responded to his own post.
And come close up, come cross up.
Come cross up, answer me the
question, how do I buy one?
That you asked yourself.
Well,
the eligible people will
usually put themselves on the market
if they have to. See,
slavery is mostly practiced by
races that have a psychological
or physiology dependency on humans and so
need a human partner.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
Most races prefer to find an owner through befriending someone and then asking to be
owned.
But pre-slaves who haven't found an owner, by the time they're old enough, will just put themselves on the market.
You know, it's like the pre-slave exams are a real gruel.
Kumquat, you've been my friend for a while.
Do you own me?
Do you have a physiological dependency on me i guess so maybe
studying day and night for the psats
uh and then uh oh there's a bunch of it but we'll just uh we'll just skip to the next one um
yes so they i just want to say the the world in my head uh posted this asked a bunch of it, but we'll just skip to the next one. I just want to say that the world in my head posted this, asked a bunch of questions, and then wrote up a very lengthy response that was posted 30 minutes after the original post.
Good.
Wrote the response first.
Finally, someone asked um uh
hey uh i'm lasagne i saw the lasagne uh what sexual abilities do your creatures have
what makes them different from normal humans male Male, female, furry, tentacle monster, doesn't matter.
This kind of stuff interests me quite a bit.
For example, I have vampire bites that pump in an aphrodisiac and a paralysis agent.
This can cause someone to be trapped as a food source or as a sex toy.
Maybe both.
Charming.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sexy food toy.
Really fun.
Sexy food toy.
So, John, let's see.
It's conduit.
Conduit.
John, if you'll take the words of conduit and make sure not to bore any of us.
Let's see.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was confused.
Lemon, you confused me because I don't see a conduit, but I do see a con butt.
Yeah.
Oh, you've changed your name from conduit to con butt.
Excuse me.
I've always been Con-Butt.
How dare you say otherwise?
I'm so sorry.
You've got 47,000 karma.
I will not.
You're damn right.
All right.
The closest to a seductive race in Angelos are the Zil,
a race of shadow-like people with skin dark as space and hair, gold, or silver.
They have the ability to release a pink fog
that causes those around them to be aroused.
Right.
Though they cannot always control it.
Being excited or scared is often enough
to cause them to release it,
and they are not immune to its own effects.
Their eyes, normally white,
glow pink in a state of arousal.
Are you still interested?
I'm going to keep going.
Their arousing pheromones
is sometimes harvested and converted
into a drug that can be sold in the market.
During the reign of the
Harunian sultans,
the Zil drugs were in high demand
by the Tajaran emirates.
Listen, can you just give me the fucking quest?
I can be on my way.
Look, I invited you to this group.
The least you can do is listen to my setup.
All right, fine.
I'm never DMing for you guys again.
Terry Goodkind, get out of here.
Well, you know, we haven't dealt with any furries.
uh uh well you know we haven't done we haven't dealt with any furries uh boots if you'll take epic epic epic tayok epic tayok uh and uh good luck with that second word epic talk oh okay
just zoom in the text so i can read all these study letters all right my name is epic talk
the filth fee are furry feral body type the same body shape as real wolves but with human-like
eyes and speech that makes it okay then. Great. Perfect. Wonderful. Wolves with extremely detailed and powerful
3D holographic lenticular
chameleon-like camouflage abilities.
Okay, I didn't expect that, actually.
Their hairs and
scales can change their color
and albedo
to produce an exact image
of everything behind them.
With a normal camouflage setup,
this only works against one
backdrop but they have a trick their hairs overlap such that at one angle you see one image
of the opposite world move to a new angle though and you see a new image from them
of the opposite side of that angle this basically means that the flit flit flea whatever is that
spelled oh it is spelled the same as before okay the flit fee
in question turns invisible but it needs them to stand still as their image can't match the
background quickly enough to match their moving speed their eyes are very high resolution and they
have oh i think i saw the infomercials for that late night. HDIs, you can order those?
Yeah.
Right, right, right.
HDIs.
And they have pitch perfect image memory and very sophisticated occipital lobes.
This can also be used to make just about any pattern or color or symbol on their body.
So fashion wasn't really important to them.
A big fetish for them is to get jiggy with them
while they're close
having sex with a ghost
na na na na na na
in addition being
quintessential ambush
predators they have venomous fangs
with paralytic and depressive venom
that acts to severely
weaken motor neuron
signals as well as weaken the muscles themselves
this can actually lead to a fatal coma fatal coma but drugs exist which enable them to bite
someone while their organs remain functional but still leaving them paralyzed this makes for a
world of potential bdsm fun doesn't that doesn't no i don't think so
i don't think so really they're over doing a lot of things wrong uh dominatrix is 100 miles per hour
yep uh against a gorilla the the uh prey species i gotta say flit feet op right a little bit yeah that's what i'm gonna be
paralyzing and fucking
just in the corner everybody else is playing dnd you're just in the corner going like yeah
yeah that's what i'm gonna be
invisible wolves yeah hi hi my name is spark main cool awesome cool ghost blowjob No! Okay. Thanks, Gucci Bane.
Oh, my God.
For a demonstration of what the Kumquat Zop's waveform looked like there,
just look at a piece of paper.
This is the nymph realms, the parasitic penis,
a.k.a. the futafungi.
This is part one, infection, penis growth, and others.
In the introduction in the nymph realms, I mentioned that all nymphs are female in appearance, but can turn into a futanari.
That's what happens when they're infected by a sexually transmitted parasitic fungus.
Tanari. That's what happens when they're infected by a sexually transmitted parasitic
fungus. Today,
I will write about this in greater
detail, but due to this post slowly
turning... practically
long. Slowly, it's slowly
turning and practically long.
I decided to divvy it up.
Okay, so
let's talk about infection. Infection
can occur when the seed of a
Futa fungus gets into a nymph's vagina, either by intercourse with an infected nymph or by inserting unprocessed penis shrooms.
Penis shrooms.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The process penis shrooms are fine.
Yes.
Yeah.
See, I'm mostly curious of what the processing of them does to them.
But let's just continue with this.
And hopefully we get to that.
So you don't want that in the raw. of what the processing of them does to them, but let's just continue with this, and hopefully we get to that subject.
You don't want that in the raw.
Penis shrooms form when the ejaculate
is dropped onto the ground,
and the seed tries to develop a penis without a host,
the result looking similar to this.
A link I'm excited to click.
Oh, it's just a mushroom that kind of looks like a dick.
In a later post, I will describe what happens
when the seed enters the body in other ways, so, you know, lookout for that at first the fungal sperms will seep into the
surrounding tissue let's move on to utters utters at the same time you left out the part of the
sentence that says and befall the vulva and befall the bull uh befall the vulva is the name of my new uh soul's leg uh let's talk about udders at the same time as the parasite fuses to the clitoris the fungal
tissue inside the labia hooks into the host milk system and starts to fill with milk milk
um these obscenely swollen labia dangling like a pair of heavy
balls below the cock.
You're correct. Of all the
things you've talked about, how swollen
they are is the obscene thing.
That's the obscene part.
It's how swollen.
They're called udders. They produce the
parasite seed by secreting sperms
and hormones into the milk.
And the milk is used to both carry and to feed the sperms while the hormones cause them to multiply, turning it thicker and creamier.
We're making yogurt?
Good.
Yeah, you get that lactic acid in there.
Woo!
Oh, boy.
Yeah, you get that lactic acid in there.
Woo!
Oh, boy.
So, oh, I get to use the word teats.
That's fun.
Because of the nerve connection, touching and squeezing the udders or teats is felt by the host just as if it were a pair of normal breasts. It should go without saying, F+, that the teats, just like the penis, turn highly erogenous.
In the next post, I will describe the different shapes and sizes of parasitic penises,
as well as the way the parasite uses aphrodisiac and telepathy to influence the host's behavior.
My name is Skin of Child.
I am the only comment response to this uh um okay
thank you so much for showing up to my lecture series
to my lecture series.
Okay, so Kumquat,
I'm just going to ask you a quick question here
if that's all right with you.
So I'm visiting your world, right?
I'm visiting your world
and I gets really horny.
Yeah.
What can I do
to satisfy my desires?
That's all.
Wait, who am I?
I don't know.
Take one.
I think the...
I like the try no hard.
Try not hard.
Ha-ham!
Yes, hello, my name is Try Not Hard.
Yes, hello, my name is Try Not Hard.
There are zones in my world donated by visible she-ilds.
I'm not sure that you answered the question there, but okay.
White she-ild.
Safe public zone.
Blue shield. You give consent to be exposed to sexually explicit
material. That
is depiction of sex
in any shape or from
is common in blue she-iled
zones. Some of the blue
zones are permanent. So this
is the looking at porn section?
No, it's the blue
section. Okay.
Indigo Sheild.
You give consent to be in the presence of P-Aple having sex.
You may not approach or interact with people having sex in the Indigo Zone.
Okay, okay.
Just so you know, I'm imagining the layout of an FTL ship right now.
Violet
Sheild Zone.
You give consent to be propositioned.
However,
you still have the right to refuse.
Be prepared to see
many individuals having sex
in all forms of shapes
in the Violet Zone.
Black
Sheild Zone. You give consent and permission in the violet zone. The violet... Black shield zone.
You give consent and permission
to have everything and anything sexually
done to you without prior agreement
or prior arrangement.
Wow, really, really
hope you're not colorblind in this world.
This is the violet shield zone, right?
Oh, no, no, it's the black shield zone.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Well, lesson learned.
Shame on me, right?
The only way to stop people from having sex with you in the black zone is to leave the black zone.
Edit.
The above described...
Ha, ha, ha, silly me.
The above described is practiced by the peninomorphian clade only.
Oh, you know, thank you. You closed so many plot holes with that, because now it makes a lot of sense.
Ha ha ha, however, there are numerous clades who exist for eroticism.
Some of the erotophilic clades will accommodate anyone who so desires. Some deviant goo clades that live in the swamps of Luciana enjoy sexual relationships with nun goo clades.
Simple approaching the shores of the swamps is invitation enough for the slimes to come out and attempt to have sex.
Many pony clades will attempt to have sex before anything else
upon meeting on individual for
the first time.
Pony clades.
So I think at this point
I think at this point we've done enough
I think at this point we've done enough
NSFW. Oh sorry go ahead.
Well I had a really
I had a really good response to that last
Oh great yeah yeah awesome yeah yeah cool. Oh, great. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah.
Yeah.
Cool.
Hi, my name is Deez Niaz.
Find a sock.
I'd like to point out that I have one point and a bunch of other people who wrote a bunch
more shit at one point.
So my response is as equally important as theirs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can I just tell you?
Can I just tell you?
And this is just this is just sort of you know
just something that we've learned over years of doing this podcast is to rely on responses to
original posts and reddit being funny is a difficult barrier because responses on reddit
are almost always dog shit like the one thing that red is really good at is just going fine to suck
um okay uh anyway um at this point f plus i think that we've done enough uh i think we've done
enough world building that uh we can now get into some actual story right so uh so this is a story with some dialogue.
And I think Boots, if you'll take the female in this particular story, and then Toast, if you'll take the man.
And I'm just going to walk through the narration here.
This world exists.
Oh, sorry.
This is Futilseke, a world where the only gender is futanari this is the pilot chapter oh no oh no this is it's it's futa isekai like an isekai
like you go into a fantasy world oh cute all right i know too much about anime yeah you do
this world existed in my imagination for a long time and i'm gonna
write down the introduction part i might keep writing more chapters about the world building
stuff but chances for that one are real 50 50 chapter zero welcome the pov character is a
futanari androgynous woman that's not what that word means that's not what that word means hey
hey that giant dripping dick you have is pretty androgynous.
Oh, Lord.
Anyway, she's in her early 20s.
She and the entire rest of her family are near completely out of touch for years after many bad things have been said from both sides.
Recently unemployed.
How did I get here?
If I remember correctly, it was around 940 p.m. when I was walking home after being fired from yet another job. Going the usual way to my empty home, I turned a corner to enter a shortcut in the alley, and I saw a very bright light,
almost as bright as the sun. Curiosity got the better of me, and I investigated the light.
I went into it and felt something weird rushing over my body. From the apex of my head to the
tips of my toes, some tingly sensation moved through my entire body i finally exited the alley and
ended up in a village that was never there when i passed through all right let's examine the
surroundings i see a woman on a bench wow this is a fucking text adventure i see a woman on a
bench with a buttoned shirt immediately i walk to her and ask for her help
Immediately, I walk to her and ask for her help.
So you're an italics and I'm not an italics.
That's how this works.
That's how you do dialogue. Oh, okay.
That is how you do dialogue.
That's correct.
Excuse me?
Yes?
Sorry to interrupt what you were doing.
She was reading a book.
Upon further inspection, I can't read it.
You're welcome.
Can you please tell me what this place is?
Yes, this is the square.
What square?
The town square.
I see.
What's the name of this town?
What can you tell me about the Reapers?
Metsa Hardwood.
This isn't a town I know of.
Even if it exists, it's nowhere near my city.
I'm new here. Could you give me a tour of the place?
She blushes a bit for some reason.
Right now? I'm not sure we should do it out here.
Why not? I'm sure people won't mind no it's just i'm not great with giving tours in public i understand i don't understand at all
if someone's job is to give tours they should be prepared to do so when their crowd's present
at least i'll give her the benefit of the doubt
and try to compensate.
Then could you maybe take
me somewhere private where you could tell me
about everything?
You're a rather forward
person. Wait, was
that sexual harassment?
Sorry, I...
No, it's okay.
I'll give you a tour right here, right now.
Great.
She pauses for a minute, then undoes the top button of her shirt.
She pauses again, then undoes the second top button.
Wait.
Sorry if I'm being rude, but what are you doing?
Preparing to give
you a tour.
She takes off her shirt, revealing two
orbs of fat and memory glands.
Oh, it's very sexy.
The two orbs fly
out and then drill into my skull.
You are dead. Continue.
Ah, so sexy two orbs of fat and memory glands
two orbs of fat i'm like like you know what i i can add a little bit of spice to this
two orbs of fat and mammary glands there we go
oh so these orbs uh each ultimately focuses on one point slightly darker than the surrounding area
sure whatever i can't deny the fact that i'm excited i can also see how excited she is by the bulge in her skirt. What? There's a bulge in her
skirt. What is
that? I point
at the bulge.
Already jumping
to that? In all my
years in this job, I've
never met anyone as bold
as you. She
drops her skirt to the ground.
A rod of flesh and lust
pops up and perks with excitement.
She has
a dick!
Years in this job,
she said. What job?
Is she a prostitute?
Ma'am, I don't know what
you're trying to do, but I'll have to refuse.
What?
Don't what me. Stripping naked in public is not
good even for a prostitute pretty good for a prostitute what dot dot dot dot dot dot dot isn't this what you wanted me to do no what do you want me to do show me around town so i can
know this place oh you didn't mean anything special by that a shame really the blush begins
to fade from her face as she redresses herself.
She probably thought I wanted to have sex with her right out there.
I hope.
Not that I deny that.
Her looks did brighten my day.
I feel like I'm almost forgetting something.
Oh, right.
You had a penis yes i'm surprised someone would be able to quit publicly show
something as unusual as that what are you talking about a woman with a penis isn't normal
excuse me everyone has one That goes for all humans.
Not appropriate to publicly show something as unusual as that.
Now that I look around a bit more, I don't see any men, only women.
Some looking at the two of us with a look that screams of disappointment.
Out of those few, I notice one of them is doing something.
She's sitting behind a table, what I assume is a restaurant, doing something under the table.
She seems to be shaking something or stroking something.
Is she masturbating?
That motion can't be used on a vagina.
She also has a penis?
As I look around again, most of the women who look around at us have bulges in their skirts.
The prostitute was right.
Everyone here is a futanari.
Everyone here is like me.
You finally did it.
God damn
you all to hell.
Fucking twist.
I don't know how to feel about any of that but I assume any of those feelings
should not be good feelings
yeah no, just nothing but bad feelings
they shouldn't be expressed in public
from every angle
thanks
monocrata
I'm gonna skip over
Sobe the Robot who has a sexual fantasy that includes the male's penis is ringed with shallow scalloped ridges and ends with a rounded point.
But instead.
Okay.
So come close up.
I know that there's a couple of things that you like.
I'm aware of, you know, world building, obviously.
Yeah.
BDSM and ABO classification. couple things that you like uh i'm aware of uh you know world building obviously yeah uh b bdsm uh and and uh abo classification tests uh-oh will you please classify us all
it's it's once again the alpha beta omega shit just falls into our laps. Yes, my name is
Fox Unboxed. I
need help creating a BDSM
and ABO classification test
guide for an AU.
I'm currently working
on an original BDSM fiction
set in an alternate society.
Since it's original fiction, I can't post
about it in our fanfiction, even though
classifications are a common trope there.
Proponents of classification recommend testing for class between the ages of 18 and 21.
However, that doesn't always happen because there are still people who don't know about their classifications or, worse, don't approve of them.
Opponents of classification will often not allow their children to be tested, especially if the parents suspect a shameful class.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
These are the four main dynamics of hate classifications.
Dominant submissive, D-S.
Owner pet, O-W-P.
Caregiver little, C-G-L,
Alpha Omega,
A-O.
What about Alpha Pet or
caregiver submissive? Can that just not happen?
They're just not compatible? No.
No.
You don't get even matched on plenty of fish.
Coffee meets Omega.
Can I just, I just,
I've harping on this before, but
they were like,
let's come up with a name for a dating
app. I know, let's call it
Coffee Meets Bagel.
That's all, yeah yeah master slave m-sl dynamics that was a dynamic i didn't list in the list i just listed no no it's an extensive list yeah are considered a specific subset of d
s dynamics neutrals and are a classification of people who aren't part of Ni dynamic.
They're your standard vanilla people.
DS dynamics are the most common, followed by OWP dynamics.
CGL dynamics are more uncommon, and AO dynamics are rare.
I'm on the fence about including betas or not,
because my story doesn't specifically need them.
During testing...
I want to read a story in the Omegaverse
that's just about the neutrals.
Yeah.
Everyone's just a fuck monster
and the four neutrals that just hang out
and have a nice dinner.
Yeah.
During testing at a center
as the last part of the classification test,
every person is
giving a catalyst solution to drink that manifests any latent pet little alpha or omega traits the
solution is inactive for other classes but everyone is given as part of the testing protocol
is it like spice melange yeah yeah yeah yeah so it affects the houses differently yeah yeah yeah
i've done some thinking and maybe the testing could be structured as a type of questionnaire.
Then a multiple choice picture cards.
It's really sexy.
A blood test for specific markers.
And then finally, the catalyst at the end.
A rather specific situation regarding a major character got me thinking about how I could blend elements from different dynamics in my universe.
There can also be three joint classes within AO dynamics, but they're rare.
Alpha caregiver, omega caregiver, and omega little.
Yeah.
For clarification, a joint classification refers to a person exhibiting simultaneous traits of being an alpha or omega and a caregiver,
or an alpha, omega, and a little.
It's not a separate dynamic. Omega
littles are the rarest of all the classes.
Now, I don't know much about stats and probability
but only out of 25 omega littles
documented in the last 50 years sounds rare to me.
I'm looking to modify the standard
alpha and omega classifications.
Are you just trying to bore your own dick into submission?
I don't necessarily want mandatory
nodding.
That's a sentence I said. I don't necessarily want mandatory nodding. That's a sentence I said. I don't
necessarily want mandatory nodding.
Not necessarily.
Not necessarily.
Male pregnancy or heat cycles.
But I do want the more instinctive
traits. I can include or remove
any elements I want in my story so
what I've listed aren't hard, hard
limits. Just my
initial take on the idea. I i know it seems like i'm
stripping away the integral elements of what defines an abo universe but however my story
focuses on three major characters who are involved in cgl dynamics yeah and yeah so who also happen
to be alphas or omegas so ao, AO dynamics aren't always the main feature,
even though sets of dynamics can happen simultaneously.
Yeah, so there.
Alphas or omegas are biologically different from other classifications
and use scent pheromones to mark the territory, mates, and family.
Their main scent glands are located on their necks,
which is where they're bitten for claim marks.
Yeah, alpha-omega pairs are triads.
Yeah, one alpha with two omegas or two alphas with one omega bond No, they're bitten for claim marks. Yeah. Alpha omega pairs are triads. Yeah.
One alpha with two omegas or two alphas with one omega bond until death.
Yeah.
Oh, for example, a triad of the three joint classes would be abbreviated.
Document is ACG, OCG, OO, or ACOCAL.
That's what I call that.
No, in my universe, alphas or omegas are also the most likely out of all the classes to have psychic talents.
Yay!
Yeah.
Oh, for those of you who enjoy reading or writing AU stories with AO classes,
what distinguishing AO traits could I implement in my story?
How would these traits differ when joint classes are manifested?
What could a different overview— You haven't described your story at all.
How can I improve it?
You don't have one.
No, no.
What could a different overview of the classification test look like?
What symptomatic behavior could be exhibited by someone who has been untested or are manifest for too long?
I'm also looking at creating a type of classification explanation guide that I can reference in writing to include the proper amount of exposition.
There should be at least four source books.
Because I don't think I've ever read another work
that included both BDSM and ABO classifications.
The idea is not original,
but the way I'm writing it into my story is
any ideas are welcome and i'm
happy to answer any questions about my world thanks listen man i don't think i've read and
i mean i've definitely not read any omega verse that wasn't specifically for the podcast
but the idea of like i don't think sadomasochism exists in this shit. It doesn't really stand up to the test.
Hey, hey, hey, Lemon, or should I say Lucifer Levithan?
You have something to say.
Yes.
Yes.
This block of text feels like I've read it before somewhere else.
You have a response to that, too.
Like all over the Internet forever.
Yeah, you did.
I posted this a few days ago, but remove it because I wanted to add some content that I felt was too long to edit.
I should have just posted the long edit, but oh well.
Yeah, it was well. Yes, delicious.
Kudos, and kudos again.
Oh, very last thing we're going to do here.
There's a bunch of...
Oh, did I mention that this was a cheapskate talk?
I don't think I did,
and I'm sorry about that
because cheapskate's given us a whole bunch of documents uh including this one uh it's great uh we were actually starting with a document
that didn't work out uh we went over into this cheapskate document and uh that was that was
where our comfort zone lied it was the cure for our ales it was the cure for our ales so thanks
cheapskate thanks cheapskate also you could have cut down on the food and everything a little bit, but thanks, Cheapskate.
But anyway, John Sost, I'm looking to enroll in university.
Do you have a university for me?
Oh, well, you are in luck. I am Celtic drummer, and I am asking for help to create classes and careers for a YIF university.
I am looking for help to create a curriculum of a university of the lust
sciences.
It's a role group on deviant art.
You don't say in my world,
the conflict between the anthro races took the world to the brink of his,
of this total destruction for years,
the nations of Davos and Lubrov led secret and commercial wars that filled
generations with hatred and violence.
One afternoon, almost
a hundred years ago, the world was
about to be destroyed by misunderstandings
among the leaders of the nations who brought
the most extreme stress, see with
some longing, the near end.
Extreme stress. But then,
among the darkest streets and the most
improper corners, a group of
exceptional heroes came about. Men and
women with tragic stories and full of taboos
who came together to reach the leaders of the
nations and teach them another more pleasant
and less violent way.
The Yiffs, teachers called them.
Oh, he's got the Yiffs.
Furries trained in the
arts of meat and the most exquisite pleasure
one can feel
I shall turn off the light, my lady
and know before we bed
that I have been trained in the arts of meat
Their actions somehow managed to save the world
and because of that, the nations of the world
decided to create special schools to learn
that kind of arts
The arts of the y decided to create special schools to learn that kind of arts.
The arts of the yiff.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
It's Hogwarts, but for yiffing.
This is how I have dedicated myself to creating a very specific curriculum for all who pass through this school to become the best sex workers in the world.
These are the rules to create a career and assign classes.
Number one, all the races are divided into four years with two semesters each year.
Two, each class
is divided into general sexual classes
and special sex classes.
A general class,
three, a general class is a class where topics
are taught on how to be a better sex worker,
how to please someone better, and how to make someone else
want to find it irresistible.
Four, a special
class is a class that can only be taught from someone who studies a specific type of career and
requires a lot of practice to master it can you read that sentence because like i feel like uh
you know i'm just i'm trying to understand the syllabus of your class it seems like you put a
lot of work into this it seems like you put a lot of work into this and so like this special class
this very special class what is it again
well let me give you some examples would that help oh sure yeah i think so okay so for example
for the special class a class of mind control only serves students who end up controlling many people
or important people such as leaders of sex service companies or ambassadors or spies
another example a class of philosophy of love.
Do you have to show your ID as a spy?
Are you a spy?
You have to tell me if you're a spy.
Yeah, but the profile image
is just the incognito icon.
There's two spies.
One of them wears a pointy black hat.
One of them wears a pointy white hat.
A class of philosophy of love only serves students who seek to be the best lovers in the world
because they're dedicated to one person for long periods of time and agree,
learn to live happily with someone else.
That's not prostitution as far as I understand it, but cool.
A class of stimulation of points, G.
Or a class of pool dance is not considered special classes
because all the races can make use of this knowledge to be better sex workers.
Wow.
That was not confusing at all.
Points, G.
Okay.
Class of pool dance.
Points, G's bloodstains.
And five.
There was nothing we could do.
Five.
The specialties are careers that do have common trunks for the use of the carnal arts.
How and with the use of the arts.
They are very different from one another.
What ho fellow.
What ho fellow.
I have been trained in the carnal arts i'd like to uh
i'd like to tag in and take take the examples for the specialities oh i feel like there's there's
some some translation stuff happening with this because there's a lot of weird words happening
agreed which could be translation or it could be i I mean... Yeah, it could just be part of the world building, I suppose.
Oh, yeah.
The career of lovers specializes a lot in philosophy, nursing, and gastronomy,
as lovers seek to be the center of all the love of a single person in the world
and do not look for ways to pass over the enalo of others.
The career of courthouse institute slash lord of the brothel
Oh man, I remember when those videos were all over.
Focuses a lot on mental and psychological control of people
in trade and administration of companies
and resources as these students will be responsible for many people to satisfy their sexual needs so
admin admin cpas but horny um here's the point where we change from hyphens to bullet points
yeah i don't know why that normal section a of stripper. It would not be a good career because once mastered the art of dance and knowing how to conquer with looks and movements,
there is no space for someone to continue studying the race.
A stripper does not run a brothel.
A governess, if she can.
I don't think this is ESL.
I think this is just dumb.
Yeah, no, it's just dumb.
Just a dumb person.
this is esl i think this is just dumb yeah no it's just dumb just a dumb person it's just yeah the word race i believe applies to like a four-year program so that's very strange there is
no space for someone to continue studying the race a stripper does not run a brussel a governess if
she can yeah yeah this was okay i'll break the magic here. This was run through Google Translate. Okay.
Does it say it at the bottom?
It says it at the top.
I skipped over it because it amused me.
All right.
All right.
That's cool.
That's cool.
A career of sexual nurse would not be a good race because the school is a school for sex workers, not health workers.
sex workers, not health workers.
We do not give medical degrees, and our medical education should be limited to improve sexual performance,
prevent and heal the risks involved in leading a life like this,
and know how to deal with the medical treatments that our employers may require.
A sexual nurse does not seek to lead the lives of others with much pleasure.
A lover, yes.
A lover, yes. A lover, yes. And then those are the lives of others with much pleasure a lover yes a lover yes a lover um
and then those are the examples of number five number six finally all the previous rules can
be ignored to a certain degree if good arguments are given to create the race in the class based
on logical arguments and that are according to the reason of being an institution of sexual education
like the one I intend to create.
As a finally taught,
I have to show you the general ideas I have for careers.
Cool.
So lovers, they want to be in the center
of all the love of a person.
They are experts in philosophy, nursing, and gastronomy.
Ooh.
There's a hint to our original language.
Institutris slash Lord of the Brothel.
Masters of mind control and domination.
Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.
They want to satisfy as many people as they can,
but they do not know how to deal with the challenges of a single person.
And then Geisha slash teko teko mochi which i believe is delicious right street delicious maybe from distant lands this discipline seeks to create the most talented and disciplined
students from the flesh of the world their fetish techniques are unparalleled and they're for
unforgettable nights,
but their high maintenance and creation costs
leave them with little...
Yeah, you have to tap two mana
every time you use them.
Thanks for your opinions,
and I hope I can answer all who have doubts about this.
And nobody has anything helpful to say.
Aww.
This would be a really interesting
prano in my
universer.
Thanks.
Thanks.
So what did we learn
from r slash
NSFW world building F plus?
I learned that
the Comqua likes to enumerate
bullet points that are not enumerated
well somebody ordered them
no it was
specifically an unordered list
it's a UL
but it's not unordered it's top to bottom
that's an order
somebody chose to order those bullet points
that way
I was assisting the listener Somebody chose to order those bullet points that way.
I was assisting the listener with the visual to audio medium translation.
I feel like you're a big misleading.
Yeah.
So extra service, extra value.
He's providing extra value for you.
You can go ahead and file a bug with my html ul versus ol translation layer oh god you guys are being nerds of a different type than i am so i can judge you
feels pretty good doesn't it yeah no no you're right i see what i see what you get out of it. I like it. Yeah, it's good. Well, what I learned
is that
an internet hobby that I have known about
ever since I started looking at weird
internet stuff is still alive and well, and that
is sublimating sexual things
into other nerdy hobbies
and passions to the point where
anything sexual erotic is
wrung out of it completely.
Yeah.
They're just in just in just in 19 round wrestling matches with their own dick and they're losing every fight i mean it's just
like and like all the comments are just like asking about like well what are what are these
like rules cases for this kind of thing and that it's just like it was supposed to turn anyone on i mean i from the
title that you'd think it would but at this point you're debating like the numbers of the
yeah yeah i think i think like what i was sort of surprised that uh the guy that uh had the
world building of a yiff university was like the best person uh like as just a human because he was
like well what if prostitution but like everyone just like as just a human because he was like well what if
prostitution but like everyone just like liked it a lot
and just people like each other
it's like we're just like having
fulfilling relationships and it was good
looking out for each other
what if you solved what if you solved worry with
furries fucking like I don't know
like all right
I mean I can have it
that's what it takes sure yeah yeah yeah
you know I'm not really a fan of
furries fucking in general but like I don't like
war even more so yeah sure
like load up a furry
com and drop them off into Yemen I guess like
here we go
you guys got uh where's the
where's the bowling alley
where's your what's the bowling alley only because like there was like a fur con like got canceled once and then there was just a bunch
of photos of like the furries because they can't because the conference the con itself got canceled
and so the furries had nothing to do and so they all just went over to a bowling alley and there's
just a bunch of photos of them just like
depressingly bowling while a bunch of people
look unhorrified.
It's a memory that looms large.
And if you want to see picture references
of things that happened on the internet years ago
that everybody forgot, you can go to Balls.
That's B-A-L-L-P
dot I-T. As mentioned before, T-H-E-F-B-P dot I-T as mentioned before
T-H-E-F-P-L dot U-S
I've been doing some work to it
for reasons
that I can go into but
there's a whole bunch of fan art that people have done
and I was trying to do that service
I wrote a blog article and I kind of like did
some a lot of rework
to the way that fan art works
on the F+,
because I really like watching the drawings.
I really, really, really like looking at the drawings a lot,
and I just wanted to make sure that those could live as prevalently as possible.
You know, and I don't know.
Maybe merch.
Maybe not.
I don't know.
Listen to another one.
It's fine.
We like you.
Probably.
Probably. Probably. There's one of you we don't like. There's one of We like you. Probably. Probably.
Probably.
There's one of you
we don't like.
There's one of you
we don't like.
Yeah.
But chances are
we like you.
Chances are.
Yeah, probably do.
Okay, bye-bye.
That's a real good...
I wouldn't do it
without you, babe.
I wouldn't do it
without you, babe.
And as I go my way alone I find it hard for me to carry on
I need your strength, I need your tender touch
I need the love, my dear dear I miss so much
My world is empty without you babe
My world is empty without you babe
From this whole world
I try to hide my face
But from this loneliness
There's no hiding place