The F Plus - 346: How To Get Fat

Episode Date: February 17, 2021

There's an amazing array of food out there in the world today, and yet we're still struggling with the question “How can a person get fat?” But, fortunately, “Doctor” Feeder has taken it upon himself to answer that very question... Provided you're a woman with not a whole lot of clothes on. This week, The F Plus is taking The Wall Test.

Hey Lemon. Yeah, what's up? What you doing? Yeah, what is it Victor? Victor? Yes. Yes. Oh, hi. Hi. Okay, hi. Hi Lemon. Were you just trying to say hi? Yeah. This is her intro. Let's keep going.

This is good energy to bring. Yeah. What have you been up to, Victor? Huh? Been mixing cocktails. Keep your holes in check. Okay, well, what kind of cocktail have you been mixing? Oh, hey, guys.

I'm also just walking into this intro now. Oh, that sounds good. Hey, Frank. I got this girl and she wants me to duke her. I told her I'll come scoop her around eight, she said. That sounds great. Shorty girl's a trooper. her I'll come scoop her around eight, she said. That sounds great. Shorty girl's a trooper. No matter what I need her to do, she be like.

On his own throne, the boss like King Cooper. On the microphone, he floss the ring. And this is the F+. An absolutely huge place for terrible things. Red with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear. Eclairs. Eclairs. Yes, get fat. That's a good thing.

Frank West. Never apologize for how much you've gained. Never apologize for how big you are. Never promise to diet. Kumquats up! She gasped as she helped it along by thrusting it in and out. She suddenly realized the pancakes were for her nipples. Bump girl! If you hit a plateau, that is if you reach a certain weight and don't seem to be able to gain anymore,

try losing weight, then gaining it back. Victor Laszlo! It was an incredible turn on watching her eat, since now I know that each bite is adding to her nascent voluptuousness, filling out her thighs, breasts, hips, bottom, and that cute little pot belly. And lemon. But now, the reasoning she'd used to justify her

autoerotic orgy seemed more and more tenuous. Hey, F+. Hey, Lemon. Hi, Lemon. Oh, it's you guys. Oh, that's awesome. I was just sitting here in front of my computer, which actually isn't super abnormal for me. And I just wanted to think about making myself, you know, bigger.

Making myself sort of more grandiose. Like a giant? Wait, like with air and like blowing up? Well, no, no. Although that is a super hot fetish, and thank you for bringing it up. Oh, yeah. No, that's gross. Blowing up on social media is nasty.

But this thing is definitely not something that will make us uncomfortable at any point. It'll really be a fun, wholesome episode. And it's about one guy. It's about one guy, and he refers to himself in doctor in like scare quotes, right? It's always doctor in quotes. And his name is

Dr. Feeder. And his website is askdrfeeder.dyn.dns.org. His background is a wonderfully hypnotic sort of moving image of French fries and fried chicken. If any of us stop talking for like five or ten minutes, it's because we've become hypnotized by this background. Yeah, yeah. All this food is just constantly moving diagonally down and to the left yeah i know and i keep i keep sort of putting my mouth at the bottom left of my monitor

trying to catch all of it in jumping your head pac-man style that is it is a very tasty looking banana split uh but yeah so um so dr feeder uh. Feeder on Fantasy Feeder and on a website I've never seen before, Phoebe? F-E-A-B-I-E? Phoebe. That'll probably be a document at some point. So anyway, Dr. Feeder has devoted some time to studying feeders, feedies, and weight gain in general. He has generously agreed to share his vast wisdom. If you need advice or have questions, write to his email address.

But, Boots, I think I want to know from you, if I could. Oh, every page has that background image. Boots, I just want to know, why is there feederism? Why is there feederism? Well, let me tell you. I have an evolutionary explanation. Of course. It's what finally brought us out of the muck.

It's COVID and I actually have a twirlable mustache. Just know that I'm doing that now. First we invented agriculture and then we abused it. That sounds about right. In the world until yesterday, what can we learn from traditional societies?

Jared Diamond describes some traditional societies. They don't call them primitive anymore, that have periodic food shortages. The people gorge themselves in times of plenty to gain weight, to get them through lean times. In such places, feedism would be adaptive and be selected for. Of course, in many societies, including modern ones, they figured out ways to store food

so they didn't have to do the gorging thing. Storing food in a granary or whatever is usually much more practical than storing it as fat on your body. That is... I genuinely hadn't

thought about that. Modern societies and their granaries. Yeah. First you have to research it and then build it, and it takes a while to get the peasants to be able to do it. That is amazing. So does that mean that you're like evolutionary relics?

Yes. Okay. Or no. No, you're the mutants. We're the mutants. We who store food and buildings, man. Oh, so you're sort of like Neo-Luddites. Yeah. So genetically, I figure we're a mixed bag.

We have ancestors from both kinds of societies. Some of us have fetus tendencies and some don't. Some are de-fetus. Is that like a Homo erectus kind of thing where there was a civilization that invented granaries but built them in other villages? Yeah, Fatlantis. They built their granaries in other villages. You can now check that one off the list, Frank West. I'm good for the rest of the episode. I'm going to check out.

It's just like a giant checklist of things that F Plus needs to say before we die. And that was one of them. We can die soon. Finally. I imagine those tendencies will dwindle over the coming millennia since gorging

and gaining is no longer adaptive. But we won't be around by then anyway. Okay. It ended on a cheerful note. Let me see if I have this correct. This is not sex. This is not

about sex. None of this is sex. No, this is about history. He didn't specifically say that it wasn't about sex. Not that I would believe him. If it was about sex, that would be part of why it exists. But since it isn't part of why it exists, the why is there feedism.

Feederism? Yeah. Feedism. Feederism. Feederism. Feederism. Feedism was a different thing that he described. Hey, Victor.

I'm reading the title of this page. Yes. Victor, you're now Dr. Feeder. And I want to know, okay, so I've learned about the evolutionary psychology of it, but why should I get fat? Well, I'm glad you asked. The reasons vary from individual to individual, but usually it's a combination of the following. You like fattening food. Well, I mean, yeah, I do.

Your favorite food just happened to be laden with calories, and you're tired of passing them up all the time. Wouldn't it be fun to always order dessert when you go to a restaurant? Or even have an extra dessert? Once you've decided to get fat, you can have all the fattening goodies you want. Well, that is actually a little bit compelling. Any other reasons? Yeah, you like to overeat. You just described that, though. Remember the

whole second dessert thing? I think that's overeating. No, this is totally different. Wouldn't you like the freedom to eat as much as you want? This applies to healthy food, too, though. Once you decide to get fat, you have license to do just that. That is totally different than what I just said in number one.

Plus, if you gain weight, it's not a sign of failure. It's a sign of success. If you eat more than you planned, it's not a sign of weakness. It just means that you're getting good at this. Okay, okay. And you've got more reasons too, right?

Oh yeah. You'd like a bigger appetite. Again, totally different. Not only will you have license to eat all you want you'll find you're able and eager to eat more than ever if you overeat you'll be able to overeat and then you will overeat and then you'll be able to overeat and then fourth totally totally different this is this is different lemon okay okay great what if you hate dieting don't want to not overeat.

Yeah, that is different. If you decide to get fat, you never have to diet again. In fact, you really shouldn't diet again. If you have the idea in your mind that you might diet at some point, it will undermine your decision to gain and invite guilt. Which was my previous point. There's no sense in getting fat if you're going to feel guilty about it. Cool. You got any more reasons?

Yeah. What if your significant other wants you to gain? Oh, dear. This is not a good reason to gain by itself. No, it sure isn't. But if you want to gain anyway, why not enjoy it? For all the previous reasons. Right. If your

significant other happens to be a doctor. But wait, there's more. Oh, good. What if you find it erotic? Whoa. I thought this was about granaries. This is one of the main reasons people gain on purpose. If you feel that way, you already

understand it better than I could ever explain. If you don't, you probably never will. Okay, alright. Real heads know the deal. Wow. Put this in your signature.

Come, Quatsop, I've thought about it, but I'm still afraid of what people will say. Yes, hello. You should not get fat if you can't get past that. That's a pretty bad Dr. Seuss. You have to be able to transcend what people say. I'm going to think about that sentence for a second. That's not how that verb works.

Or, this is if you don't transcend what people say, you won't enjoy getting fat. Okay. Yeah, they're yucking your yum, literally. But, but, what are they going to say, anyway? That you're getting fat?

Big deal. You know that already. Okay, yep, good, good. Good point. Are they trying to make you feel guilty because you eat a lot?

Hey, you're eating a lot because you want to. Remember? Okay, yep. Triumph of the will, sure. Nothing to feel guilty about. You may want to try

talking to people about your plans. I thought we didn't want to pay attention to what they say. Yeah, no, you talk at them. You're the one doing the talking. Force them to listen to you.

You transcend listening. I have some experience in that. It sounds hard, but talking to them after you've gained may be even harder. Yeah, because your cheeks are heavier. Yeah.

Tell them you are sick of dieting and thinking about giving it up. See how they react. Maybe they can... Monocles! Slapping. Maybe they can deal with it better than you think.

Remember, it's your life, your body, your decision, not anyone else's. Unless maybe you're significant other if they want you to. Or if you listen to a doctor from the internet. I agree with you, I guess. And so I'm sure that that's just going to follow. Wow, this is going to be just a rational F-plus episode with good advice in it. That sounds

cool. I've been thinking of giving up dieting for horny reasons. How would you feel about that if I did for horny reasons? This is a good new Kevin Nealon character. I like it. Hey, bump girl. I'm not ready to get fat, but I really want to. So how do I get ready?

Psycho. I have a tiger was in mind, but yeah, that works too. So you need to make plans for getting fat and deal with any issues ahead of time before you actually start gaining oh shit i forgot to buy food you need to know what the issues are and deal with them first um but don't worry we've put together a handy dandy bullet list such as when you buy clothes they should be a size or two too large. You may want to butt some extra big ones just for fun. That sounds fun. That does sound real fun.

That does sound real fun. Make sure you never repeat yourself, okay? Get rid of all your favorite outfits that you won't be able to wear after you start gaining. Can I get rid of the outfits I hate that i also won't be aware okay oh i was about to say will you or will you not be able to wear them after you start gaining because if you hate them but you will be able to wear them you may have to do that just to make sure yourself your favorite outfits that you won't be able to wear yeah all your all your all your ugly white voting pants you need to keep those and then you rip them as you get fat your itchy tweed jacket you need to hold on to that

uh are you afraid of how your friends will react don't worry we didn't discuss this in the last section so i can tell you what to do now discuss it with them ahead of time. You may want to find new friends who are fat themselves or at least fat tolerant. Oh, so now it's a Weird Al video. More than one Weird Al video, actually. Yeah, I think so. If you currently need to climb lots of stairs in the course of your day, move. Or change jobs. So as to minimize that need. Okay, okay.

This is good. Yeah. That's a good plan. That's a full lifestyle. But remember that elevators have a weight limit, so it's a catch-22. Furthermore, quit any activities where excessive weight would be a problem. Ballet, tennis, and pole vaulting are not recommended for fat people.

Right, right. Do you find a lot of ballet dancers that are just really excited to get fat? What about that? That might be a loaded question. A lot of fatphobia in the pole vaulting community. Yeah, now we need to find a pole vaulting forum to see how they feel about this is this pole vaulting shaming okay find all the restaurants bakeries all the all you can eat buffets that you'll want to go to when you start gaining get your mind thinking about all that

wonderful food you're going to get to eat create a game plan that wonderful food you're going to get to eat. Create a game plan. Any restaurant that you see that's boarding up its windows as you walk by. Okay, on Monday, I'm going to hit the Denny's, then the IHOP, then the Denny's again. Tuesday, it's just Denny's. In addition, with those Denny's and IHOPs in mind, you can buy yourself gift certificates from restaurants and bakeries. What?

And promise yourself you won't use them until you decide to get fat. Wait, so I need to... I need the gift certificate to get fat! Why are we not allowed to start immediately? Why is this like a... No, we're getting ready to. We're not ready! No, this is like...

This is how you get ready. This is like... This is how you get ready. This is like... This is fat futures, right? You're banking on the currency markets of inflation. Yes, ameliorated fat. I understand. Yeah, yeah. It's a bunch of skinny people shorting on you right now.

By the way, by the way, when this was recorded, that was a super timely joke. I just want you to know that. By the way, when this was recorded, that was a super timely joke. I just want you to know that. Collect the menus of food outlets that deliver. You don't want to have to eat less just because you don't feel like going out. Oh, this one comes from the before time. Save your money.

The more money you have, the easier and more fun it will be Getting fat Well that's true You could end that sentence with a lot of different ways And it would still be true You could just end it The more money you have the easier and more fun it will be period The more money you have

The easier Yeah that's true. Consider becoming a glutton. Wait. That's what we were already doing. What? Yes, but you get to wear a fancy hat. Yeah, is this like,

is there a Freemasons of Fat? Well, there is a glutton's pledge. There's a secret handshake. Oh, my God. This is especially relevant if your main reasons for gaining are that you like overeating or prefer fattening food. If you devote yourself to gluttony, eating is your top priority. Getting fat is just a sign of success.

Oh, oh, oh. Take the glutton's pledge linked here to get you started and repeat the pledge in times of need. Click that link. Oh, my God. So that link doesn't work. It just takes you to the cartoon of the day. Oh, my God. Okay, okay, okay.

It works. It works. So if you go to the Gluttons Pledge, the very first thing that happens is a JavaScript alert. Yes. very first thing that happens is a JavaScript alert. Yes. And there's a JavaScript alert that says, warning for some people, especially those on the fence about gaining.

The Gluttons Pledge can be life-changing. Are you sure you want to continue? What happens if I hit cancel? Oh, it just goes to the main page. So I get to see the main Glutton page, but not the actual Gluttons Pledge. So I'm going to go in here. The Gluttons Pledge. Okay. So you're going to repeat after me, okay?

All of us? Yes. Perfect. This is great for podcasting. I state your name. I state your name. Oh, such a good joke. All right.

Now stop repeating after me, you hacks. That shit sucked. Perfect. Everybody loves a 50-year-old joke. What a good joke. Now stop repeating after me, you hats. Perfect. Don't call me Shirley.

I, your name, promise to eat all I want of whatever I want, whenever I want. I will eat when I'm sad to cheer myself up. I will eat when I'm happy for the sheer joy of it. I will learn to enjoy eating even when I'm full. My belly will grow and proudly proclaim my devotion to nothing because there's a period there. My appetite will become greedier, allowing me to eat even more. I will rejoice when people criticize my weight, for they confirm my progress. I will rejoice when people criticize my weight, for they confirm my progress.

I will rejoice when people criticize my appetite, for they confirm my confidence. I will gain and not be ashamed. On the contrary, I will feast in celebration. I will eat joyfully and bear my new pounds cheerfully, so as to be an inspiration to others. I will eat and eat and eat. Guys, I'm going to have to bow out because I'm getting hungry. It was a powerful pledge.

Yeah, I mean, it didn't do anything. Yeah, it didn't warn me to not read it to Victor. Yeah, I really should have clicked cancel. Yeah, that milkshake in the background going by is just calling to me. I gotta say, with the moving GIF background, I was a little disappointed that clicking cancel didn't take me to, like, Ask Jeeves or Disney.com or something. Yeah, yeah, Disney.com, that's where it's supposed to go. Frank West, you like flowcharts, right? I love flowcharts Cool, cool, so on this page

The deciding to get fat If you scroll down for a bit You get to the should you get fat Decision flowchart It's not a very complicated flowchart, but it is written in Comic Sans Would you describe How I go through and make this decision here? The should you get fat Decision flowchart sans uh would you describe uh how i how i go through and make this decision here the should

you get fat decision for a chart question mark in the middle there get hyphen fat hyphen question mark okay so uh write a bucket list all the things you want to do before you die. That's step one. And step two, is getting fat on the list? And what if I answer no? Don't get fat. That's just the end of the flitch right there. But if you answer

yes, would other list items be compromised if you got fat? Oh, interesting. Well, they might. So yeah, I think yes. Yes. Okay, well, complete these items, or just cross them off your list if you decide they aren't that important, and then rewrite the list. Okay, that's not how it works. And then you cycle on back to his getting fat on the list. Back in the van! But if you, so once you've rewritten your list,

let's say I've taken care of my KFC bucket list. Nice. Well, at that point, no, nothing would be compromised. And then, can you accept the risks involved in getting fat? And then no? Don't get fat. Don't get fat.

But if yes, get as fat as you want. Excellent. All right. I have this hanging on my wall right next to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It's just kind of how I live my life. To be fair, this is like the most responsible fetish organization thing I've ever seen. And you've redrawn. That's why he's got the doctorate.

And you've redrawn Maslow's hierarchy of needs to incorporate the food chart. Yes. So like on the very bottom is grain. Maslow's hierarchy of feeds. There it is. Okay. There we go. That's another one checked off the bucket feeds. There it is. Okay. There we go. That's another one.

Checked off the bucket list. Oh, God. We have our own flow chart that's very similar to this. I think KFC bucket list was on the bucket list, too, is the problem. Oh, shit. Oof. All right. Okay, so we've done this.

We've sort of like made up our mind. We've decided to get fat. We've gone through the flow chart. And that's awesome, which means that I need to know how to get fat. So, Boots. Yeah. There's an introduction, and we don't need any of that introduction. So I think you could just go through the tips if you wouldn't mind.

Hold on, there's a bit in the middle. Okay, sure. The introduction says, consult a doctor or at least check the life expectancy calculator. But that's all I wanted to say about that. But now I have some tips. That's what I'm doing, Dr. Feeder. Consult a doctor or go to deanfoster.net slash index.pl, which doesn't have what he described on it. Yeah. As has been confirmed probably by Victor in this podcast, dad's better than seeing a doctor anyway. Anyway, the tips on how to get fat.

Number one, be sure about this. Once you get fat, it will be very difficult, even impossible, to change your mind and get back to your current size. If you have any doubts, read my article, Deciding to Get Fat. Oh, man. That's some incorporating, some vertical

integration. I like that. Yeah. Number two, if you have trouble gaining at first, don't worry. This is very common. Take your time. Enjoy being able to eat all you want. And remember, it's not a race. Three, some people do best with frequent snacking, so this might not work for everyone.

Don't eat too often. Always skip breakfast and even lunch if you can. But when you finally do eat, eat a lot. This will be easy because you'll be really hungry. Also, your metabolism will have slowed down from your fasting. More of the food will be converted to fat. You know what, Dr. Feeder? I'm bored of you and I don't want to hear anything more from you.

Bump Girl, I need to hear something from Layla. I met Layla on Fantasy Feeder, and Layla had some tips for me. Would you read some of those tips, Layla, please? Uh, one, okay, so lots of people have messaged me and asked how I gained all my weight,

so I thought if I just quickly wrote it here, they would see. Good. That's a good bullet point. Alright, awesome. Next. That's number one Two, smoking weed and drinking makes you hungry And not care so much about the quality or even taste of food And when you get full If you have another bong, you can finish it easily

Yeah Alright Back with more tips, number 13 It also helps to find an eating buddy Find an eating buddy Somebody who also wants to gain Eat more if other people are eating with you. Oh god, I felt that down.

Shut up, shut up, bring back Layla. Or K, or number three, you can just cram as much food in your mouth in 20 minutes and keep going because her stomach doesn't register it's full. Yeah! You can wake up in the morning and don't eat anything until at night and then just binge on all the worst foods imaginable.

Oh, speaking directly to my soul. More Layla. Okay, five. Five. KFC, MacCast, BK, pizza, pasta, garlic bread, Chinese, fish, and chips. I'll take away. I have them at least twice a day, usually. All of them?

Hey, I'm back. The best eating buddy is one who's father has a bigger appetite than you. Oh, God. Oh, God. Shut up. Number six. Just drink Coke and juice all the time. You got me on my knees, Layla. Number seven.

Make a milkshake of weight gain powder, full cream milk, and full fist ice cream and drink before bed. A full fist of ice cream? Full fist ice cream. Not fist. A full fist of ice cream. A full fist of ice cream.

Sleep now. Eight. All Lassus have chips and easy to eat snacks with you when like watching TV or on the computer because ooh, mindlessly eat them all. Man, I cannot believe that Layla smokes weed. Nine. Man, I cannot believe that Layla smokes weed Nine Always only have nice unhealthy food in your house But make sure you eat heaps of fruit Other whisks to be Star star starring Frank

You'll be back up Gross and no one wants to Prune juice Blig Get some exercise But not too much. Not too much. Ten, have like the worst portion control ever.

Like bake or buy a cake or donuts, whatever, really. And trick yourself into eating it by like only having one slice and then thinking in Urhead, no, no, I can't have any more. We need to save it. And then if you're like me throughout the day you will keep sneaking over there and slicing tiny bit off until there's like one slice left then you think might as well well might as well eat that so then you dispose of all rubbish and wash the dishes so mom doesn't tell you off oh man you know uh obviously that was amazing. Obviously that was amazing.

But, you know, Boots, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm in Dr. Feeder. Dr. Feeder, I am sorry. I feel like we didn't give you a fair shake. I think we should let you have a fair shake. So I'm sorry. What was that last tip?

Wait, no. Wait. 11? No, no, no, no, no. No, I just want to. Dr. Feeder, what was that last tip that you gave? What? It was get some exercise,

but not too much. No, 11. Or is that just me, haha, mm, and do like no exercise? Yeah! Well, I personally, Bump Girl now speaking, not Layla, I am surprised because there is not any redundancy

between her tips and his way more practical advice Frank West the very next thing in the doc is called how fat should I get and it is another flow chart this one's written in I believe that's Courier New and what do you want to say I believe that's Courier New.

And what do you want to say? And that's definitely MS Paint. Write down the minimum amount you want to gain. One pound, two pounds, 80 pounds, you know, whatever. Call that number X. If you have an old value for X, replace it with this one. Okay. It's a let, not a const, yep. X equals X plus X.

I have this X left over from when I defined it as my income when I was doing taxes earlier. Let me just get rid of that. Okay, is X greater than zero? And if no? You're done! Yay!

And what if yes? Gain X pounds. Loop to start. That's just a flowchart that says, do you want to gain weight? No, then don't. Yes, do. How do I know how fat I want to get? Well, how fat do you want to get?

This fat? Well, then get that fat, dummy. Some people like visual aids. Some people are visual learners. People are visual non-learners, and this would be great for them. So this talk was brought to us by The Lizard. The Lizard gave us a lot of docs. Yes. Yeah, thank you for pointing that out.

I forgot to mention that at the beginning. But yeah, the lizard went on a tear and we very much do appreciate this. It's the first lizard doc that we've read, but there's a bunch given in a very short span in the course of about half a month. We've gotten seven different documents from the lizard. And I should point out that we,

we rushed a thing because the lizard put the Gluttons Pledge in here and helpfully included a screenshot of the JavaScript alert. I think the lizard is just really embodying this. I presume the lizard wrote down a number

of documents that they wanted to submit and that X was greater than zero, and then... Are you saying this flowchart applies to all aspects of life? It's literally anything. It's a metaphor? Gaining weight is a metaphor for all of your life goals?

Gaining weight is a metaphor. Do you want to do a thing? Yes? No. Do thing, don't a thing? Yes. No. Do thing. Don't do thing. Two other documents that the lizard has given us that have very high probability of getting read are the men's long hair hyperboard is surprisingly unpervy and sweater fetish. Sweater fetish. Take that, high levels. Anyway.

Okay. So this is pretty quick. That's pretty quick. Victor, can you please explain to me the science of the wall test? It's a little technical. I'm hoping some of our listeners can follow. I'm going to try to translate this into layman's terms so that everybody can... So, the wall test... Is this just when you have two walls in a movie and they talk not about a ceiling?

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! You just unlocked the hidden checkbox on the F Plus jokes list. Oh my god! There's a whole second page on this checklist. How am I supposed to follow that, Lemon? What the fuck?

Why am I even here? You're here to set up for Kumquat, we are. Exactly. I didn't even get the chance. Exactly. I didn't even get the chance. Anyway, you were saying, Victor? I would like to hear the science.

Yes. So, put simply, the wall test, it's just a fun test to see whether you're getting fat. Okay, fine. Since people put on weight differently, it's really a poor way to compare your size with someone else's. However, if you used to fail and now you pass, congratulations, you're getting fat. So I should definitely be comparing my size with somebody else's, but this is just not the way. Good to know. This is a terrible test way this is a terrible test it is a great test so yeah so basically the uh the the wall test is you stand against a wall with your toes touching the wall and if you are fat enough then like your toes can't touch the wall because your gut is your belly is is too big no it's it's yeah so it's

it's you stand you stand up straight as close to the wall as you can so if if your if your toes touch the wall and your belly doesn't you fail you fail it says fail yeah you pass with flying colors if your toes can't get anywhere near the wall. And then, and then click through from that image is an entire gallery of, of people doing the wall house. Now, all of the people doing this wall test, all of them are women,

which I find odd and coincidental. All of them are not wearing a whole bunch of clothes either, which I also find just a weird coincidence. There nothing to read into there no they they just they got rid of all the outfits they liked in preparation for you know getting fat let me you've missed the link at the top of the screen to the men's gallery if you could just click that and tell me i'm so sorry okay let me click the link to the... Oh, well, there... Oh. What's unusual about this page? Is that his cat?

What is that? It is his cat. It is definitely his cat. Okay, I'm going to tell you about the men's gallery in just a second, because I wanted to point out that in this gallery, the women's gallery, there's for example Super Thick X, or Super Thick Q.

She's in progress. She's working on it. Extreme Mom Bod, she's passed. There's Pudgy Pixie, and what was I looking for there? Miss Mac and Cheese. Oh, Miss Mac and Cheese doing very well.

But I am sorry to report that Skinny Sarah has failed. You know, I really expected Skinny Sarah to do better on this test. Damn it, Skinny Sarah, you've let us all down. Anyway, so yeah, a bunch of photos of sort of women in their underwear just failing, failing, and some passing on this website. And then if you click the men's gallery,

you get one single photo of a guy in sweatshirts and a gray shirt with no face. I was going to say, he's not even wearing lingerie. I'm like Space Witch. And it's from an absurd angle. Well, he had to get that angle so he could capture the cat walking between him and the wall.

Yeah, his name is Gaining Lear, and he passed, and he says, this test is inspiring, so I just had to add my pick. Yeah, if he were to just raise up off of his heels just a little bit, he'd turn the fan on in his bathroom. The men's gallery is so unsupported that the description says it's still the women's gallery.

This is a gallery of women taking the wall test. The women's the wall test. The Women's Gallery is here. Oh, boy. Okay. All right. So that was all really helpful. I think we've learned a lot, and that means that it's time for the letters section. There's an entire section where people can, as I alluded to in the beginning, people can write letters to Dr. Feeder and get advice, which is great.

Obviously, really, really good. So Frank West. Like a Dear Abby situation. Yeah, yeah, exactly like a Dear Abby situation. Frank West, you're going to be Dr. Feeder here. And I'm lazy, and I just wanted to ask you. So, dear Dr. Feeder, I hope you're not too busy to give me some advice. So, dear Dr. Feeder, I hope you're not too busy to give me some advice.

I met somebody from Fantasy Feeder, in brackets for some reason, and he was emailing me after he lives abroad, telling me how much he wants me, misses me, thinks I'm great, etc., etc. Then, when I said I would be three hours away, did he want to meet up when I was abroad. He started saying how busy he was. When I pushed the issue to say I would meet at the weekend and even drive halfway to him, which he said would have been fine, he then disappeared. This might be a stupid question, but I have had so little experience of men and I think he might be married,

but he went to great lengths to assure me that he was not. What does that mean? Is there a wife here? No? Is there a wife here? Just want to tell you again, I'm not married. I don't even...

I asked what you wanted for lunch, but... Two things about me. I'm not married and I don't have herpes. What's got two thumbs and isn't married? This guy. Oh, shit. You saw my wedding ring. Anyway. Anyway.

Okay. I just wanted to ask, was he just into my size? I say this because he described what he felt as a fetish, as though that's a thing. He did not want to ask me anything about myself. He did not want to ask me anything about myself. He initially did not even ask for a photo. All he kept saying when he met me was that I was beautiful. I'm not.

And he kept looking at my belly. I am just so confused and so hurt. Am I on the wrong website? I was hoping to meet someone who just wanted to know me as well as my size. Honey. Do men see fancying someone my size as just a fet? Oh, honey. I am not really sure if

I'm in the right place. I love the fact that there are men who might be turned on by my size and might be turned on by eating, but am I expecting too much to just hope for a relationship too? Hope you can give me some useful advice. Thanks! Lacey.

Dear Lacey, I'm sorry you had such an awful experience. That guy sounds like a jerk. Anyway, I'll try to answer your specific questions one at a time. He definitely wasn't married. It's not me. One, am I on the wrong website? No. There are jerks on every website.

Nice. I mean, not wrong. It's not wrong. Come to THF. I'm just like, I want to argue with this, but he's not wrong. Two, do men see fancying someone my size as just a fetish? Some do, some don't, and some might be able to genuinely love some women of your size and only fetishize others

oh whoa that is some mother whore shit right there that is gross am I expecting too much to hope for a relationship too no but it is very hard to find the right person there is no guarantee you will

ah a philosopher No, but it is very hard to find the right person. There is no guarantee you will. Ah, a philosopher! And let me add that your problem is a universal one, not restricted to larger women or feedies. Pretty much anyone can, everyone can have the problem of liking someone whose attraction to them is only superficial. Good luck. Sincerely, Dr. Feeder. Thanks, Dr. Feeder. Thanks, Dr. Feeder. Bump Girl, Gluttony. Are you going to reply?

Oh, I do, but it's not very interesting. Bump Girl, Gluttony Girl wrote in to Dr. Feeder with some questions. Dear Dr. Feeder, I never had any clue my husband was a feeder until I caught him reading your website. He told me it was strictly a fantasy thing with him, and he had no intention of trying to get me to gain or anything like that. However, our love life wasn't great, and I wondered if gaining some weight would help. I told him I didn't think gaining 10 pounds would hurt and asked him if he'd like that. He said no, he couldn't possibly ask me to do that, but I could tell the idea really excited him.

So I decided to gain the weight anyway and started eating more and eating more fattening stuff. I'd never eaten like that before and was surprised how fun it was. Oh, yeah. Yeah? And as soon as my husband realized i was gaining he turned into a wild man in bed anyway again the 10 pounds and a little extra i overshot by two pounds okay damn crazy that's fine things things have cooled off a little in

the bedroom since i quit gaining but it's still better than it was he says he's fine. Things have cooled off a little in the bedroom since I quit gaining, but it's still better than it was. He says he's fine with my current weight and doesn't want me to gain any more. He certainly doesn't want me to lose weight, though. Oh, boy. So I'm thinking of gaining more, even though my husband says he doesn't want me to. I'm not a feedie in the sense that it turns me on or anything, but I kind of like being curvier. And I love to eat. And I love the effect it has on my husband.

So what should I... Had. Had. Had. No, has. Has. I wrote has. Yeah, it's had. It's a courage effect. It's definitely... Yeah, it's had, lady. It's current. So what should I do?

My husband says he doesn't want me to game, but he said that before. I'm pretty sure he'd love it. It kind of bothers me that he won't ask me to, though. Plus, he doesn't like to talk about any of this stuff. What should I do? Gluttony Girl, November 2010. Dear Gluttony Girl, One, just out of curiosity,

what's your current weight and height? Twelve pounds heavier than before. I mean, yes. Two, what are your husband's reasons for not wanting you to gain? And three, have you been telling him you want to gain more or just put it out there as a kind offer?

Well, that's... Dear Dr. Feeder, I'm going to write back to you. He answers with nothing but three questions. I am 5'5 and 140 pounds. He was concerned... Two. He was concerned about all the possible negative consequences of gaining health, social discrimination, job discrimination, etc. And I didn't think I should suffer those just for him.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. What a nice guy. Three, good call. I actually didn't tell him that I wanted it for me as well as him. Your letter sparked a really good talk between us. He finally said, as long as I'm sure it's what I want, he'd love it if I gained more. He says I have a cute starter belly, but would love a nice sassy pot belly. So that's my goal for now. I'm eating again and it's so great. Thanks, Gluttony Girl.

November, four days later, 2010. Well, you were right, Penthouse. I didn't believe it would happen. You really didn't. I love the term starter belly. Well, you're a bit of an amateur, so I'll get you started on the starter belly there. Yeah, well, you know, there's that popular genre of shows where it's like you flip the starter belly and make money off it. No, it's like you move on to your step-up belly. I actually like nice, sassy pot belly.

Like a sourdough starter. It's the mother of thousands of bellies. Your starter belly should not smell like a sourdough starter. But it does. But it does. Oh, no. What do you got there, Kumquatsop? Hello, Dr. Feeder. I have some news for you.

Cool. I'm not sure. As in, I'm not the company that makes microphones. That makes microphones, yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure. That's me. That's it.

Dear Dr. Feeder, I'm not sure if I want to gain or not I'm not sure if I want to gain or not. I'm so confused. I'm definately turned on by the idea, but I'm still not sure. Can you do this in a foghorn leghorn voice, please? I love the feeling of being stew fed it's so contempting

but I suppose I'm afraid of what Sokoti will make of me who is Sokoti will make of me. Who is Sokoti? He's the guy who beams people up, I think. Oh, he's a fucking jerk.

I want to give mad love to my producer, Wotskoti. You can cut my joke out and put that one in. It's fine. I, V, never had a girl, but I dink dats more down to stealth. Estime, Dan, the way I look, but I'm affidavit. Dat will be lowered

if I gain. What should I do? Chris. Wicked! Wicked, man! Dear Chris, don't gain until you're sure dr feeder weird that the guy who sent in a letter gets a really short response i'm not i told you i'm not sure

that's not sure my flow chart are you sure go back to top uh this page was last updated uh january 1st 2010 wow okay all right all right excellent so we got some classic internet happening here uh i just wanted i wanted to write to you uh my name is belly goddess belly goddess dear dr feeder i just finished your challenge. Photo of me. I can't even move.

Photo of me. A photo of me. I'll send you the video when I recover. And yes, you may post this on your YouTube channel. Belly Goddess. Dear Belly Goddess, that's great. Thanks so much. Any other thoughts about the experience?

Here's the link, everybody. Belly Goddess versus the Dr. Feeder Challenge. Dear Dr. Feeder, it was lots of fun. I really enjoyed how there was an equal amount of sweet and savory. I was able to switch between the different food items to balance them out. I would suggest a glass of water because some things are difficult to swallow when chasing them with a thick shake. I would totes do it again. I would suggest

a challenge to any gator. Jesus. Yep, that's a video where it's 25 minutes long and she spends most of it drinking a Burger King shake and holding some chocolate up to the camera. Victor, you've just posted some photos that

you've found. Somebody's got some writing on their stomach. Is that right? Yes, multiple people. This appears to be a trend on this website. Yeah. People like to send Dr. Feeder selfies where they have written on themselves

the Gluttons Pledge works. People like to send Dr. Feeder selfies where they have written on themselves, The Gluttons Pledge Works. One of them wrote it upside down. I guess so she could read it. For inspiration. It's for you. It's not for the world. That's the easier way to write it on yourself, to be fair. That's true

i also love a bunch of photos of women that have like are sitting on their bed uh with just attaching calipers to themselves yeah yeah yeah the fact fat calipers revisited. Like this one, that caliber guys have wandered off into the wilds of ask Dr. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, uh, so I wanted to say, uh, one thing about, uh,

this document that was given to us, uh, by the lizard. Um, first time, uh, lizard gave us this, uh,

I actually sent it back because I said this is good, this is really solid, but it's very, very long. And the reason why it was so long was that there was a whole bunch of Dr. Feeder's own fat fiction as part of it, which is funny,

but very, very, very, very long. And so I said, you know, can you please just take out some snippets? And the lizard was kind enough to do that. So to that end, Boots, I want to just read an excerpt. We got some snippets of Dr. Feeder's stories. Can you just take a bit out of a very, very, very, very,

very long story he wrote called The Restaurant? Sure. And then... Uh-huh. When they arrived, I got so aroused watching her eat that I had her lie down on her side on the bed and continue eating as I made love to her from behind. Oh, wow. Watching her in the mirror, I'd strategically placed next to the bed. When she finished the waffles, we started fucking in earnest and soon came to a conclusion, so to speak.

Oh, I get it. That's clever. I don't, what do you mean? Yeah, what, you stopped, or? Yeah, they stopped. They came to the conclusion that they liked waffles. Wow, she said with a sigh when we were

done. I think Yarmark turned on them by my gaining weight than by anything else. Yeah, I guess you're right. So you're never going to let me stop gaining weight, are you? Of course I am. I wouldn't want you to get so fat you would endanger your health or anything.

You can stop whenever you want. Just please don't stop just yet. Are you kidding? If you keep feeding me so well and fucking me like that, I'll get as fat as you want. Oh. I patted her bloated belly i don't imagine you want any more waffles do you this is the sexiest pillow talk ever no but isn't it about time for lunch a cheeseburger

fries would go good about now wow's this? She fondled my cock. Which... Seriously, what is this? What are you doing it for? Can I eat it? Which had just become hard at the mention of her eating more. How'd we get into such a

vicious circle? She said as I reached for the phone to order her some lunch. I don't know. Just lucky, I guess. Yeah. Hell yeah. That was really, really good. Really good. There's another story in here which is called Shlurafenland, which actually translates, uh,

to the land of milk and honey. Um, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's a fantasy story, uh,

that is set in the land of Shalara often land, um, which I'm, uh, you know what, uh, one person is allowed to be smug and like, correct me on my pronunciation.

Not, not multiple. Like one, I know I pronounced it wrong and I do want to learn. So go ahead. And somebody is allowed to correct me on my pronunciation not not multiple like one i know i pronounced it wrong and i do want to learn so go ahead and somebody is allowed to correct me you're gonna have to pick that person out though it's right exactly you need to have some sort of vote um but anyway uh so there's uh there's a lot of this is sort of a uh a tolkien-esque world here, and so we sort of need to build a bunch of the lore to this setting.

So, Kumquatsop, can you tell me about eating in this particular environment? Yes. I would like to tell you about eating. Eating is a very popular activity in Schlaraffenland. That would make sense. Spoilers!

That's why you'll find delicious, healthful food growing on practically every tree. Please. Healthful? I know. Hi, this is Layla. You should just smoke all the time and

eat some Burger King and KFC and Mac Ass and drink juice and Coke. It's like the British invasion. Like, Layla can't talk because there's too many people screaming. Please,

sample the various fruits. Get to know which ones you like and eat as much as you want. If you overdo it and find yourself uncomfortably full, simply have one of the purple berries that grow on the medicine bush. I think this is what more appears Anthony than Tolkien. Yeah, no, you're not wrong. Listen to the doctor. In several ways.

Yeah. Yeah. That's being very rude to this person. I'm going to say it. Okay, that is true. That is true. You know what? Yeah.

That's unfair. We've seen your psyche. We've seen Piers Anthony's psyche. You win by a long shot. Yeah. There were illustrations. If I had to be stuck in a room with Piers Anthony or Dr. Feeder, I'd pick Dr. Feeder.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might make that one alive. Do I get to leave Piers Anthony in the room and lock it? Because then I might pick Piers Anthony. Can we have a flowchart of what to do with Piers Anthony?

Write down how much you want Piers Anthony to exist and set this as X. There are ten doors. Behind nine of those doors is a lion. Behind one of those doors is Piers Anthony. Open all the doors and run. Sorry, continue. I don't know why they... There were illustrations and descriptions

of various plants. There were bedroom tries, garment trees, bathroom trees, a tree or bush for nearly any purpose you could imagine. Mara looked around for something to drink. The book said all the

blue fruits were beverages. Soon she found one shaped like a cylinder. It had a nub on the top like the top of a banana. She pulled it back and it made a neat little hole perfect for drinking out of. It tasted like somewhere between a milkshake and a Coke. Kind of like a root beer float or something.

It was delicious. She had two and put a few spares in her backpack. She realized she was still carrying her textbooks. I won't be knitting these, she thought, gleefully dumping them out. She went to the next tree. Overweight masses.

It was a sort of hot dog tree. Somehow, when she peeled the fruit, the hot dog inside would automatically heat itself up. The hot dogs tasted fantastic, of course. She read further. I don't know.

It's sort of a hot dog tree. Yeah, so the hot dog tree grows hot dogs, which is fine. That's great. But earlier you said there was a bathroom tree. You don't want to eat from those. Okay, okay. You don't want to.

If you're lucky, you get the toothpaste. I just hope. A bathroom tree, a tree or bush for nearly any purpose you can imagine. Like, we have those trees, too. Like, and it's like you have you have any tree a bathroom tree to a dude and pretty much any set of bushes okay that's actually that's a pretty good point now that you mentioned it um victor will you take the weight gain section? Sure, weight gain. If you follow this advice, you are likely to gain weight.

You may become fat. Newcomers are often concerned about this, but remember, you are in Schlaraffenland now. Gluttony is a virtue. Obesity is admired. Many of us are fat. You will also find that your appetite improves as you grow larger, allowing you to eat and enjoy yourself even more. Improves is a, well, okay. A delicious thrill went through Mara as she read this. She was already getting pretty full, and yet very much wanted to keep eating. I'm going to get fat!

Of course, that was the main reason the main reason that wasn't in quotes so that was that was the narrator no i'd yeah but it still has an exclamation point of course that was the main reason she'd come here in the first place but it was just sinking in that it really going to happen it would be impossible to diet here anyway no use worrying about your weight oh my god oh can i please take the thing that you just posted come close up please please please please oh god so we've learned something about schloroff and land it sounds pretty cool uh but i want to tell you about a really weird feature in Schlaroffenland. Again, one person's allowed to correct me. It's called sex.

So sex is a very popular recreational activity, and you are urged to have as much as you want. The food in Schlaroffenland has a natural chemical that prevents pregnancy. So birth control is not an issue. It's possible that if you want to, but that's beyond our current scope. If you want to have a committed relationship, you must proceed. We're not pregnancy fetishes here, so you want to have a committed relationship, you must proceed. We're not pregnancy fetishes here, so you'll have to go somewhere else for that. Yeah.

If you want to have a committed relationship, you must proceed the same way as where you'd normally come from. However, if you simply want to have casual sex, there are customs facilitate this. You know, casual sex customs in this far off environment. What ho? What strange pussy is this? So to have sex, you simply eat a whiteberry from a medicine bush, go to a bathroom, a bedroom, and leave the window curtain open. As you sleep, you will emit a scent that will attract candidate lovers. People that love candidates.

They will look at you as you sleep, but do not worry. They will not enter unless you invite them. If, when you are awake, you are interested in any of the people waiting. There's a crowd outside of your window. You just wake up and there's like a bunch of people just... She's awake, guys. She's awake. Don! She's awake!

Don't worry, none of us will hurt you. They all start, like, combing their hair real... They've all got bow ties that flex out, yeah. Hey, I smelled your sex juice. If you're interested in any of the people waiting, simply point at him or her.

He or she will then join you. The most important rule is, do not talk to this person! Hell yeah, bro, way ahead of you. Casual sex is much easier with complete strangers. Fuck yeah, bro. You may discuss the mechanics of what you're doing. Okay, so, uh, trying to, I'm just moving this out of the way. It's a different version of the wall test right now.

Does the bed have to be a fruit, too? God, it's the worst. The sheet is also a fruit. Oh, my God. There's a lot of Jimmy Frank's voice happening here. The sheet is also a fruit. Oh, my God. There's a lot of Jimmy Frank's voice happening here. Yes, me, Jimmy Frank. He's in the room with me.

That's why we have the hot dog tree. He's just hiding in there. Hot and ready to go. And just so you know, you may say things that are a part of having sex. Sorry is what I mean to say. But do not make small talk or try to get to know this person. So, like, you like cheese? Do make small talk, though.

So you have two sisters? If you meet this person socially later on, make no reference to your encounter. Pretty hot, right? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, it's good.

Yeah, specificity really turns me on. Ah, so good. So good. What did we learn from this episode, F+. I learned the gluttony pledge in German. Oh! Will you please read the entire gluttony pledge in German? The entire thing, please. You sound very surprised by this entire pledge. Oh, it's for the union. It's like for the union. Okay, sorry.

You sound very surprised by this entire pledge. Ich werde lernen, das Essen zu genießen, sogar wenn ich über 40 bin. Mein Bauch wird wachsen und dadurch wird meine Kindheit zur Schau stellen. Mein Appetit wird größer werden und mir ermöglichen, noch mehr zu essen. Ich werde hochertreut werden, wenn jemand meinen Appetit kritisiert, denn es zeigt mein Bewusstsein. Ich werde hochertreut werden, wenn jemand meinen Appetit kritisiert, dann erzeugt mein Selbstbewusstsein. Ich werde es nehmen und ich werde mich nicht schämen.

Im Gegenteil, ich werde es zur Feier schlämen. Ich werde es mit Genuss essen und meine kühlen, frohen Mühe verursachen, um Inspirationen zu ändern. Ich werde essen und essen und essen. I can't stop eating bratwurst and sauerkraut. Don't worry, it's inspiring for others. Where did this dirndl come from? It really does sound better than the original German. Yeah, you know, I mean, the translations are really for the plebs. There's an extra richness and creaminess in the text.

Well, anything else that we learned from this i mean this guy was way more responsible than i had expected i'll give him that he sure is i mean uh a little bit of the sort of mask falls uh especially in his in his in his own creative writing um because you know he's like uh and also the the the letters back and forth because he's like oh we Because, you know, he's like... And also the letters back and forth. Because he's like, oh, we're just having fun. Well, obviously, it's like, let's not. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I would say as far as it goes,

I mean, we've seen other versions of this particular kind of thing. And this is the best version of that that we've seen. Yes, yes. Which is the weirdest thing we've ever encountered in F+. No. Nope. Respect. There wasn't a single chocolate hose in this episode.

No, no, no. The other thing is a starter belly. Yeah, yeah. That'll be the one that makes me giggle In bed last night The website is always THEFBL.US Ball pit is the forum And the game is found at

Kinda.fun Brand new multiplayer game At Kinda.fun As well as another one called The Wrongest Words Because, you know, why launch one game when you can launch two? Are their backgrounds diagonally moving food? There certainly could be.

And I will make a button that can make that happen. Now I will play them. And, okay, wait. I've got, okay, yes. Yes. Yes. So there's a thing in the game Invalid that makes a flying pig appear on the screen, which is unhelpful. But what I can do instead is have a special spell that you can cast that will turn everyone else's screen to animated food backgrounds.

Perfect. I learned on the Cartoon of the Day page you can edit the URL to see at least 50 different cartoons oh man are they good you like the cartoons uh no okay no obviously not that's all, bye bye Frank West does think he enjoys Okay, I guess I should find something to read I want brick house Okay, I guess I should find something to read.

Oh, Jesus! It's the background guy! He's in the foreground! What you doing in the foreground, background guy? What are you doing here, background guy? Can we make, like, F plus logo stickers

like the Calvin peeing thing, but with this guy? We sure can. I just got a special on glow-in-the-dark stickers, and I've been trying to figure out what to do with them. Glow-in-the-dark, this guy peeing. It's just the words your fetish. Actually, you know what? I like that the more I think about it.

Calvin peeing on the words your fetish. We're doing it. We're totally doing it. Absolutely. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck yes.