The F Plus - 35: Without Adult Supervision
Episode Date: February 13, 2011When John's unavailable, Boots can't talk, and Lemon's internet dies, should the remaining ridiculists record an episode anyway? That's for you to decide! This episode we're discussing dragons, u...nicorns, flux capacitors, and light sabres. There's also a lot of talk about the Avatar Fleshlight, even though Boots edited that part out since it's just people looking at a picture.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, welcome to the F Plus podcast. My name is Boots Reingear, and I'm here to provide a bit of a disclaimer.
While it may sound like the recording sessions are all fun and games, it's serious work for the staff at F Plus.
Lemon, John, and I must remain watchful, vigilant, and partially sober to keep things on track.
Without us, well, you're about to see.
When we recorded this episode, John was unavailable and I was enduring an illness that limited me to two to three word sentences.
unavailable and I was enduring an illness that limited me to two to three word sentences. Ten minutes into the recording, Lemon's difficulties with his former internet service provider
reached its climax and he departed.
This is what resulted. Hey there, welcome to the F+. My name's Lemon.
And I'm John.
And hey John, do you like science?
I hate science. I live in a cave, and I think the sun needs to be blown up.
Uh-huh. Alright, well, uh, there's lots of science on the internet. Do you know the internet's made of science?
I'm gonna smash the internet with my bare hands.
with my bare hands.
Oh, dear.
Well, there's lots of people here on these websites, and they've decided that, you know,
you don't really need to go to school to learn science.
All you really need to do is just watch a movie
or just be a fan of a certain TV show
or even just, you know, fuck a flashlight
that looks like an alien vagina.
I'm going to beat them up.
Well, that's good.
Today we have some science
websites with science on them.
I love science!
Hey, John, have you noticed that
we've gotten strangely incompetent at this?
What's that mean?
Let's
go to our readers now!
Thank God!
Let's have someone else talk.
Who's here in the room tonight?
Okay, we've got Boots.
We've got Bunny Bread.
We've got Kumquat.
We've got...
Stog, that's how you do introductions.
Sometimes Stog.
I like Stog's way of doing introductions.
Okay, okay, okay.
We've got Smokestack on bass.
We've got...
Okay, okay, okay got Jimmy B on drums
okay everybody
in the room tonight we have
boots, super balls,
vandalism, rain gear
uh yeah
pale people tan
only burn
what?
bonnie bread
flux capacitor. Oh fuck
Bump girl in absence come quacks up. I saw an eagle in the mall
Lemon lemon lemon lemon
Oh god dammit! God dammit!
God dammit!
Portax de
Portaxia
Sirflex
accent underscore
Isfahan
Mardi, you gotta go back to the future
and buy me an alien flashlight.
And Stog.
I've just figured out that stainless steel is conductive.
Stog's pretending to be normal for a second. I want to read about dragons.
There's never a time when I don't want to read about dragons,
just so everyone's clear.
Dragons.
Don't quote sounds like a dragon.
I'm sure these people are very well-balanced individuals.
I've seen a Komodo dragon. Does that count?
No. The Komodo just had dragon added onto the end of it
so that the word dragon would get a little bit of credibility.
Wow.
Wow.
All right.
This is Dragiero from AboveTopSecret.com.
Those who have seen a dragon,
of topsecret.com Those who have seen a dragon
period comma
I do not expect
that this thread will be long.
Because all the answers are no.
I do, however, expect
much criticism on those who
claim to have seen dragons.
In my previous thread, I
thought that my sources from
just the internet would be
wrong.
Saddedly, I was terribly wrong.
So I have made this thread so that anyone who may think they had an experience with a dragon may speak their mind.
I will share with any who ask the experience of many others who have had encounters.
I offer proof and references of dragons in the past and
the present. End of
poster. This dragon went
to MIT.
This is
my favorite dragon.
Do I believe
they exist beyond Photoshop?
Yep, I do. Bigger ones
even. Sort of smiling face.
Okay, so I showed you my dragon. You show me yours. Really big, I do. Bigger ones even. Sort of smiling face. Okay, so I showed you
my dragon, you show me yours.
Really big, gritty face.
That is dirty. Peace.
Edit to add.
Even fire breathing runs.
Look, I'm sure your dick
breathes fire, but I don't want to see it.
What if my dick had wings, though?
Only giant membranous
ones. I don't want those feathered covered
ones. Huge massive wings.
This picture definitely has
wings. Im not
overly familiar on dragons
and their history. Have there
been any recent sightings of dragons?
Any sightings of fire
breathing dragons? Cheers!
Well, supposedly, there are higher-ranking reptilians, capital R for some reason,
with wings and may be taken as Dracos, Possessive, or Dragons.
The difference between...
One is either a constellation or a mythical beast that breathes fire.
Does that sound like something that could be plausible?
I mean, stories do get distorted over time.
The strength thing, well, you never know.
What?
Stories do get distorted somehow.
There's so much about this I don't understand.
There are higher ranking reptilians.
I don't think, I mean,
there's not a reptile monarchy as far as I know.
No, no, no, it's not a monarchy.
You got your officer dragon.
Corporal dragons, lieutenant colonel dragon.
Jesus, they're way up there, man.
What's the difference between a Draco and a dragon?
Oh, Dracos can possess things.
Dragons are more hippie-ish.
Oh, okay.
See, the apostrophe.
Yeah.
I had a friend many years ago
who saw that he said was a dragon while living in Japan.
He was out hiking up some trail in a rural part of Japan,
and he came upon this gigantic bright white slash silver looking pipe.
He walked closer and observed how odd it was.
He then noticed it had a scale-like design on it, but it was incredibly smooth looking.
It had a scale-like design on it, but it was incredibly smooth looking.
He figured it was some artsy design, as Japanese are known to decorate various pipes, concrete walls, etc. with patterns.
Although he found it odd that it was laying across a hiking path without any construction signs, tape, etc.
He estimated it was about six feet or so in circumference and it spanned across a trail that was probably eight feet or so wide.
Before he could get close enough to touch it, the thing just dragged off the path quickly and went down into a very deep ravine that was incredibly dense with foliage.
It left a mark on the dirt trail.
As it dragged into the forest, he noticed it tapered off gradually and looked like a tail from a snake.
He said that what he saw drag off was probably at least 20 feet or so.
Years later, I mentioned this to a Japanese friend, and he stated that it was most likely a spirit of some sort that may have accidentally made itself visible to him.
On accident?
Whoops!
Oh, shit, you caught me in the shower. Whoops.
That's the spiritual consequence of having your fly unzipped, I think. He states
that such creatures, demons, dragons,
etc. exist, but they do so outside
of our normal vibrational reality
and are within the
spirit world.
But they are
always here around us, just
unseen. To this day, the guy swears it was a
dragon or some huge snake
or that he was possibly hallucinating
I saw a dragon
I might have been hallucinating but I
totally saw a dragon or not
I have a new F plus community
street team project go out
and put a bunch of weird pipes with scales on them on hiking trails.
That sounds like Japan, though.
We don't we don't play for that shit around here.
That's just stupid.
The only Japanese would decorate things with patterns.
Yeah, they want to get the American anime nerds interested.
They've got lots of disposable income.
Excuse me, but $50 for a little vinyl figure that has removable panties,
that's practically a steel stog, all right?
I will thank you not to.
I'd like to see you find a girlfriend for that much.
Exactly.
You know how hard it is to weave lace that finely?
Exactly.
How recent do you want these sightings to be?
I can give you information on sightings this year if you like.
If what he saw was indeed real, then it is most likely he saw a kind of dragon known as a treasure keeper.
Are there any other details you can offer about it?
Through this logical checkmate, he drops on Dr. J 1975 right below that one.
Dear Dr. J
1975, is there any
reason in particular that you believe that
fire-breathing dragons don't exist?
Boom!
Oh, boy. Wow. Dr. J's
running home to mama. Is there any
particular reason? Proof they exist?
Proof they don't exist, motherfucker.
Yep.
Dear Roustan,
do you wish to see
the different people who have seen
comma, biological evidence
comma, or a YouTube
video pertaining to dragons
that have been discovered?
Do you want to see some folks that have seen some stuff, man?
Do you want to see some dragons? I want to see some folks that have seen some stuff, man? You want to see some dragons?
I want to see a YouTube video
of proof of dragons.
They existed
for all, you know,
the entire history of the world, I guess,
and no one could uncover them until
YouTube came along
and fucking blew the lid off of it.
YouTube is a source of hard-hitting
eyewitness reporting. Exactly.
Exactly. Treasure Keeper,
I am curious where you found the information
and what you used to identify the
dragon that my friend saw.
What I communicated
is pretty much all I know. He was out
hiking, saw this huge
tube on a remote path,
walked up to it, saw details,
walked a few feet closer to to it, saw details.
Walked a few feet closer to touch it,
but before he got close enough,
it just slid off the path and into that heavily foliage area in a ravine
and he couldn't see anything.
It was a bright white slash silver skin color
with relatively small scales for the size,
very snake-like and smooth.
He said it was also shiny.
From what he said,
it would be similar to this photo of Falkor.
There were no spines
or ridges on the tail he saw,
just extremely smooth like that snake,
although it was a much brighter,
purer white compared to this
Chinese-slash-Asian white dragon.
That's the actual Falkor photo.
I also found this video
that claims to be a dead white Chinese dragon, although it is most likely just a dead oarfish.
So is what my friend saw a physical dragon?
Or does it match up with what that Japanese guy said about it being an invisible spiritual creature that does not make itself known typically?
It cannot possibly be anything other than one of those two.
Not at all.
Not even a dead oarfish.
I believe my friend,
although he said he could have had some strange mental hallucination,
he would rather believe that instead of seeing an actual dragon
or unknown creature, I suppose,
although he does not do drugs, does not drink,
and has never before hallucinated in his life
if seen three or four dragons asleep and two to three awake but in a fractured reality
the ones if seen asleep i was able to see as if i were watching them in a picture book or on TV. The few in the fractured
reality I was not
able to distinguish as being
dragons.
I saw a bunch of dragons, but I wasn't able to point
out that they were dragons.
Case fucking closed.
That fractured reality
is his whole life.
Or as I call it, my wakeful period.
Well, that's it for dragons.
Oh, it is never
it for dragons. There's always room for dragons.
No, but there's room for
vampires.
Vampires? I want to read about the vampires.
That's an acceptable substitute for dragons.
I want to read about the vampires. That's an acceptable substitute for dragons.
I want to read about the vampires.
Theory for becoming a vampire.
Page one.
Just wanted to throw this out there.
I know the vampires have become popular in the media lately, but in regards to the true vampire,
I remember reading some interesting information on a website
maybe about a year ago,
which gave information on how to become a vampire.
I do apologize for at the moment
I cannot find the website, but I'm in the process
of finding it again.
It was on my Blackberry when I first saw it,
so please allow me some time to find it again.
How the hell do you put information
in quotes?
Knowledge or facts?
Or things that are true.
Coming this fall, the quest for the vampires on my blackberry
book i opened up my blackberry and there was just a bunch of electronic stuff inside i couldn't
there might be some vampires in there though however i remember reading that if one wishes
to become a real vampire they must first live a rather simple life in a way i suppose this could No, do it like a church lady.
Draw it out, draw it out draw it out satan
that you wish to be a hunter of the night and then you will become a vampire
i know it sounds lame and and i even have my doubts that it could work
what but you got all this information back you can't't doubt it. Well, maybe when he finds out it's BlackBerry, he'll confirm it.
I am hoping to find that website soon,
but I wanted to share with you and see what you guys thought of it.
My first reaction was, well, I guess it's a possibility, but I don't know.
He doesn't know.
Hey, guys, I'm here to tell you about these facts that I don't really believe myself.
Edit.
I looked through Google real quick, which is the original search engine I found it in.
Oh, hold on.
But I cannot find the website right at this moment.
I will keep looking throughout the day.
Hopefully, I can find it.
If not, though, it still seems like an interesting theory on becoming a real vampire.
Not sure what to make of it, though.
Third edit. Last edit. I swear. This just didn't still can't find the website on vampires
last edit i swear i just wanted to mention also that this isn't a theory to become a vampire now
this is a theory i found that suggests putting a lots of effort and trying to become one at your
own time of death i've read a ton of things online from 13 year olds who want to become one at your own time of death. I've read a ton of things online from 13-year-olds who want to become one of those
sparkly vegetarian vampires. Laffy face!
Please try not
to confuse me with them. Too late.
Those kids are just
silly.
I don't think there's any...
I don't think the responses are that great for this one.
What about the first one? Or the third one?
Your eternal slumber, or lack
thereof, is completely up to you, comma.
But, comma, I for one would hope that the last thing I am thinking about in the last moments of my waking life is seeking out an evil entity to bestow me gifts.
Personally, I plan on trying to lead a good life, try to be honest, and possibly being brought back as a spoiled dog like mine.
Good luck in your quest, wherever the path may take you. She wants to be honest and possibly being brought back as a spoiled dog like mine. Good luck in your quest, wherever the path
may take you. Meathead.
She wants to be a vampire dog.
Find love by Meathead.
Also known as Mike Stivick.
Okay, can I read
this? Yeah. Put on your best
unicorn voice, dog. Yeah.
Are there really unicorns?
Page one.
By Ohio State 416.
I was wondering if there are really unicorns.
I heard that they are actually the product of the devil and that they were denied entry on Noah's Ark.
Is this true?
The unicorns are real dicks.
God's like, screw them.
Yeah, the unicorns are real dicks.
So gods like Skrull.
You know, they weren't manufactured over years of, you know, talking about, you know, different types of goats or anything.
And they're not a form of symbolism or anything.
They were just, you know, made by the devil.
What?
As far as I know, they don't exist, man.
Plus, you're retarded.
Go Buckeyes.
They don't exist, man.
Plus, you're retarded.
Go Buckeyes!
Hello, Ohio State 416.
BC from Mitch State.
Yes, in fact, there are.
It's an interesting story and relates to the NASCAN figures. On the side of a mountain
where you'll find the so-called astronaut,
you'll find dozens of animals
and fish that have been
carved as though in real life.
Much has been done to see that no one
knows of it, but they are there nonetheless.
Many of the animals
are bovine, and one in particular
is shown with a single horn or antler.
This mountain was worshipped in ancient
times and is mentioned in the
ancient Egyptian pyramid text
as the mansion of life.
Basie.
The ancient...
I'm pretty sure that that's one of the most famous books
written during the time of the pharaohs,
the ancient Egyptian pyramid text.
Yeah, written during the Egypt.
But back then it was known as the contemporary Egyptian pyramid text.
Yes, exactly.
Wait, wait, wait.
I got a theory.
Unicorns just waited out the flood on their rainbows.
Oh, maybe.
Maybe.
You should tell them that, Stog.
Get to typing.
See, the unicorns evolved into narwhals.
They had to adapt to their new watery environment.
That doesn't even make any sense because the narwhal's horn is a tooth,
and unicorns don't have a tooth growing out of their head.
Come on, now, Esposano.
Yeah, that's just stupid, man.
You ever seen a unicorn?
Yeah.
They eat with their teeth.
Yeah.
Oh.
Sorry.
I watched a TV documentary recently about surreal animals
behind mystical creatures, and the unicorn was mentioned.
An animal with a single horn projecting from the center of its forehead, which is a universally accepted definition of a
unicorn, was shown to be a prehistoric reality. The giant mammal Elasmotherium
flourished on the Eurasian continent, particularly southeastern Russia,
Mongolia, and northern China. It was even larger than a modern-day elephant and
had a single horn which grew from the center of its forehead and measured up to 2 meters in length. This real unicorn is a species of rhinoceros. It
had no nose horn but instead an immense horn on the forehead. It grew to a length of 2
meters. This animal was thus a unicorn.
The narwhal is given some credit for being the origin of the unicorn myth. The
narwhal, you know it, you know?
Scroll down the page until you come to the section on the Narwhal myths.
It says that the tusk would wash up on shore after the Narwhal died.
And for some reason, it was supposed to come from a horse-like animal.
The unicorn.
The photo shows the twist you often see in drawings of unicorns.
I didn't actually click on it, I take it as just...
Oh shit, conspiracy busted.
Take that, unicorn narwhal.
Terminator X is very cynical.
If there was, man would've killed them off by now.
Okay, Boots, give us more stupid shit.
I already did, we're moving on to the universe.
Oh.
Oh, we're going to narrow it down a bit, okay.
Come caught. You're Mr. Ragnarok.
I am Mr. Ragnarok.
Since now one could figure this out properly,
I will now explain the dimensions, eee, dimensional theory.
We, eee, this universe exists within a black hole
the curvature geodistics of a black hole in our space-time are identical take a look and you will
see this is he truth the above dimension is another black hole within a black hole
oh what so each dimension is essentially a black hole within a black hole. Oh. What? So each dimension is essentially
a black hole within a higher universe.
Oh.
Whoa.
This is blinding.
This is why each and our universe,
universe being defined as a black hole,
begins with a singularity.
It is a black hole.
Oh my God, it makes sense now.
Okay, yeah, no, it was seeming pretty stupid up to that point right more precisely our and other universes are expanding
singularities within black holes hence why conventional matter within this universe is
traveling at the speed of light e it began with the expansion of the singularity. If it expands, it's no longer a singularity, asshole.
Ooh, you just got scienced up,
bitch.
We exist within the fourth dimension
of a possible nineteen, and each one
is infinitely larger
the prior. Only the fourth and
fifth dimension generate natural life,
though there are rumors of life generating
in the sixth dimension.
Wait, how did these rumors get back
to us through dimensions?
God inhabits the eighth and seventh
and goes on to conquer everything
up to the fifteenth.
I got it. I gotcha.
We're with you here.
Keep going.
Is that like a Dragon Ball thing?
Yeah, it's a Dragon Ball thing.
I think it's a pixie song, actually.
Every time they find the
Dragon Balls, God invades
another dimension.
No, no, no. Stog, you didn't
listen. You gotta let Comcon keep
going.
Shut up. I'm writing the Dragon Ball wiki
as we speak.
Multitasking.
He leaves the rest alone due to rumors of higher gods who are true giants.
Oh, I see.
You can only be a giant if you get high.
The law is he 11th dimension and rumors are they have power up to the 13th.
The law is he 11th dimension, and rumors are they have power up to the 13th.
Many of your come from the higher dimension, such as the 5th, 6th, 7th, and sometimes 8th.
Rumors are there are even 9s and 10s here doing good.
Rumors have it.
I remember when I was talking to this guy, and I was like, man, I heard about this 9s and 10s.
They're doing, they're, yeah.
I hear they're doing good.
Yeah, they're doing pretty good. Now you grasp the size yeah they're doing pretty good you grasp the size of the upper dimensions you can comprehend the size of the gods they are truly
enormous hence why the law is so important as they strictly control your behaviors
i like the fourth as it's the fastest time wise the faster you go, the wicker you evolve, compared to the rest.
Though the fourth is the last to form,
yet the fourth and the fifth is where life begins, so it really is a
race if you seek to be a god.
Luckily,
the gods are on the outside of this
artificial reality and do
and will now let miscreants
attain power within.
Miscreants? Miscreants.
Miscreants and ne'er-do-wells.
Godrace!
The plots to these Final Fantasy games are just getting weirder and weirder.
Stugger, are you all set with your wiki article?
Did that wrap this up for you?
Yes, I'm writing a new wiki article
about how the Dragon Balls
keep the miscreants within from attaining power.
You don't need a whole new article.
I think those are good.
The gods have precognitive ability now.
It's in my fan fiction.
You better fucking read it
and leave a review.
Oh, totally.
Totally.
So if we live in the fourth dimension,
does that mean we're gods
of the second and third dimension because we can make drawings and render stuff in 3D?
No, because the fourth dimension was the first one we created, so the fourth dimension is technically the first dimension.
What about dimensions one through three?
Wait, this is like those Star Wars dealies.
Don't speak of them.
The fourth was actually the first.
So in personal experience,
prove your beliefs to be true,
or is this just speculation from New Age stuff
you read on the internet?
I know there are more depictions,
but I'm not going to make an objective conclusion
about them.
Oh, creams on the fucking ball.
I like the way this person actually responds.
Have you put any thought into how this could possibly
relate to the Buddhist six realms of
existence?
Think
about that.
Interesting theory, but...
A dimension
is a variable.
A two-dimensional view is the
relationship between two variables, e.g. length, x, width.
There are many variables and relationships in this world.
I mean, God!
I suppose I know everyone was just thinking that was a bit too sane.
Oh, yeah.
To be easy to follow.
Yeah.
So I've got a fix for that.
Light?
Light equals dark?
Oh, it just blew my mind.
Oh, no.
Okay, so who's taking on this madness?
It's a question.
I understand that science is firmly set
that the universe is moving at increased speeds
due to dark matter or something.
Is it at all possible
that this something is light itself?
I understand that nothing travels
faster than light, though I could be missing
some details here because, but
at least that's what we were taught in school when I last
attended, it's a matter of faith.
Which is a long time ago.
I also know that light has the remarkable ability
to push against matter.
Light is one of the most common things
we know based on it is properties.
It can act as a particle and
wave. It is
also probably the most basic corrosive
we know. You want to get rid of a
body you shine a lot of light on?
Yeah.
It's corrosive.
So if light has the
ability to push against objects and nothing is faster than light,
wouldn't it be safe to say that the very first thing in existence was light?
If this is true, would it also be possible that light itself is pushing against all things
and perhaps itself to cause things to push apart at an accelerated rate?
For such a big bang, it seems it would have had to put off some serious amounts of light.
Yeah, of course.
I mean, duh.
This also brings up another question.
If nothing is faster than light,
how did the empty space fill up with stars?
Seems like the stars would have to fill into
something, but that would have to exist
before the light.
Mind-blowing.
Maybe yours is.
Does that mean time equals light?
Light faster than time?
Bang!
We are here.
Furthest.
Better. First light.
The byproduct of
the big decay still pushing against all matter
today and far beyond in a preset future.
Preset by the great light-emitting
copy machine that we call light.
This could mean that all things writes its own
history in time since its first existence.
Oh.
QED!
What in the flying shit did I just witness?
Well, there was
I followed the vroom part. That was fun.
Yeah, I got the vroom. The vroom was
And then the bang. I thought I had been
shot, but thank God somebody took me away from there really fast.
Baby, light is a copy machine.
Just put your quarters in it
and let it light up the room.
Oh, yeah.
It's more light.
Get it?
So that's why...
Use light to copy light to make more light.
Oh, that's where dark comes in.
No.
It's all light.
No, that's why at the end of every rave party,
there's nothing left but dust
and a few glowy bracelets and whatnot.
Dust, glowy bracelets, and copy machines
for producing copies.
Right.
Exactly.
See, Stog gets it.
What's with the recipe?
Stog's been to a few raves.
See? He knows the soundtrack.
Yeah, I guess
light is expanding the universe
theory. Interesting concept.
I wish I was more knowledgeable about things
of this nature to help you out, but coming from
an uneducated viewpoint of the
interworking of the universe, I sadly can
not.
But it's a reasonable conclusion to me, so you get a star.
Piss this puts a whole new spin on sun worshiping you heathen lol.
Roll a face.
Oh, God.
Sadly, I'm uneducated about the nature of the universe.
Yeah.
Unlike yourself.
Yeah, really? You can fish it down.
Well, you said lots of words words so you probably know what you're
talking about this person's really smart i like she how she starts off from like a just a flawed
idea in general well if light's like pushing stuff away and it can do all this crazy stuff
then wouldn't it make well no yeah crazy we crazy. So imagine light as some waffles, right?
Isn't that the reason that these waffles need syrup?
Exactly.
Now, when you think about the Big Bang,
clearly all the stars are waffles
because the Big Bang caused all those waffles to come.
Somebody scroll down and read the post by Guns in Both Hands.
Guns in Both Hands. Guns in Both Hands?
Oh, okay.
Here we go.
Light also
has particles that pass
through all matter known to us
solid and otherwise.
Maybe
it's possible
these particles
could take a tiny fragment of the matter they pass through with them,
adding to the corrosive effect by stripping atoms, molecules, and their minerals,
and perhaps causing a so-called manifusion reaction,
using said fusion as maybe a fuel, if you can wrap your head around that word,
to continue its path in space-time.
We know, or think we know,
that they don't stop their line of your path.
If I remember correctly,
there is a huge facility under Paris
where they collect these particles
and put them on an accelerator
to create
microscopic black holes.
And another facility.
If I remember right, there are mad
scientists somewhere.
Yes, the Large Hadron Collider is underneath
Paris. That's a great place for them.
Hey, everybody, there's a scientist
somewhere. Who knows, though?
I don't know where the scientists are.
Don't worry, he's going to tell you where the other one is.
No problem.
And another facility in Alaska,
deep underground in frozen tundra,
where all they know is measure
said matter as it
passes through
their instruments.
Oh, someone's
seeing John Carpenter's The Thing.
Yeah.
Then two posts down is a response from The Wren.
You have light that in essence destroys or decays the darkness.
Time is an imaginary line that we measure something with.
Did time exist before the bang?
Something had to take place there.
Why did it happen at one point in time and not another?
So time is absolute until there is nothing. Could time
be or be effected
by the ripples of this
initial explosion?
And we're riding the crest, so to speak.
Oh.
So to speak. The next one.
We were looking for the Milky Way one.
That in the whole universe, if
we could see all light as it currently is,
the darker little patch to the left
might be our known universe,
unable to see the intense light spectrums
of what's going on around it,
or darker, if that mass is decaying,
releasing all of it as light.
All existence has a perfect X-ray history
of their entire life mirrored from a backlit sky.
Time is that ripple that spans off
into the unknown with that one moment etched in perpetual permanency we are about a speck of what
we really know sorry i watched and played with a lot of fireworks as a kid i'm glad god doesn't
have a habit blowing up anthills cross his fingers what this person thinks they are so smart.
Yep.
Alright, keeping a theme with our science episode here,
I have another one. Awesome.
Oh, my.
Oh, no.
Oh, when you said science, I thought.
Beautiful woman.
Okay, bro.
Five top tips for getting a beautiful woman.
Christmas is soon up on us.
Soon up on us.
So I have decided to share some top seduction skills with my single ATS brothers.
A gift, if you will.
How to put a woman under the Christmas tree, bro.
Ask Santa for a lady.
One, a beautiful woman is like a wild horse.
She will need to be tamed before you can enjoy each other's company.
So put a saddle on her.
Bang some very hot shoes into her feet.
Yeah, little girl.
You're my cowboy now.
It's not to smile or raise your eyebrows.
This will show her that she can dominate you.
Also mock her slightly and bring her ego back to earth.
She would secretly
love to be tamed. Pick up artist bullshit
again. They infiltrated.
Yes.
Two, no woman like a wimpy or
needy man, so act like a jerk macho.
She would love this and swoon
for you. Say things like, babe, get
over to mine right now or go
change that outfit. It's a party, not
fancy dress, babe. Tell her how to dress and make her go get you beat as best as i can tell girls a lot like the horse
they both kick my face in when i try to have sex with them also i don't like the dress on my horse
see what i like about this is it's from the user named ewok disco oh this guy gets a lot of furry chicks. And then he clearly thought
that the PUA guys were a bit too subtle.
Yeah.
There are millions of hot single women
out there. If she misbehaves, let her walk.
You can always get another, so do not accept
bad manners from her. For example,
her, if you don't do what I say,
I'm leaving. You, see ya.
She would really step in the line
after this show of guts and macho attitude.
By Nickelodeon.
You climb the aggro crag for me.
You're the man for me.
I like how she and he both sounded pretty much the same.
Bye.
See ya.
Four.
Never let her be your girlfriend or fiance.
And I have at least five women in your stable
if she asks you do you see other women always say yes and remind her i'm not looking for a
girlfriend right now this will keep her on her toes and competition is good for a beautiful woman
it is a proven fact having more than one woman on the go is better for your health. What? Science, yeah.
It's also been proven
that light is exactly the same as
dark because it controls all of time and
space or whatever.
Light will corrode your girlfriend, so keep her in a
dark closet all the time.
That's what I do.
Light pushed her in the closet in the first place.
Find the light in there, bitch.
Oh, it's
melting me.
Five. Never spend money on them
or go on dates. You must always call
the shots, get them over to your place
or theirs if they have a better place, and keep
them one.
Damn, this is a nice place.
We're having sex here from now on.
Wow.
Yeah, girl, before we fuck, I'm going to need some pictures of your place.
Keep them one tidy step from a giving relationship.
Be late when you meet her somewhere, and never apologize.
Women secretly love this behavior.
Women love it.
There it is, bro.
They act like they hate you.
I hope all this golden advice will get you many beautiful women.
And remember, a beautiful woman is just a woman with better features than an average one.
Wow, that's deep.
That's deep.
Science!
Oh shit, man.
A tall woman is just a woman that's taller than the average woman.
Remember. A tall woman is just a woman that's taller than the average woman.
Remember.
Also, I'm not fat.
I'm just big boned.
I'm not fat.
I'm just fatter than other women.
You can life when people are fat, so gain all the weight you can, bro.
This guy loves the horses.
He ate tired pizzas in one night.
This guy is so in love with horse imagery,
I'm surprised he hasn't made a post like,
have you seen a centaur?
I would really like to fuck one.
Please, please, please read his next post.
Initially, women will hate this thread, but inwardly, we'll be thinking,
this Ewok disco really knows women.
So, women of the F Plus podcast?
Oh, totally.
Totally right.
100% science.
Yeah.
I love being insulted all the time.
Shut up.
Oh my, what are you doing
later, buddy?
Probably ignoring you,
you know.
Oh, man. Telling's so hot your outfit yeah
maybe going to your place if you clean it up a little bit ever think the old cliche apostrophe
dumb blonde was silly this may be worth digging into found nothing via the at search. Maybe the idea of a beautiful superior
race isn't just a pipe dream
after all. As
sick as the concept is, in
some way this almost validates
the worst of the worst regarding
eugenics and
what has been done against humans for
centuries.
Since I'm basically only a
5 or 6 in the looks department,
I guess this explains a lot about myself.
Hail Hitler!
I'm only slightly above
average. Hail Hitler!
I still have a thread open that Lemon posted
back at the beginning of this
I should be becoming a new alien
I was saving that one for last
but that's the one we're doing now
so this is the last one from this forum
actually
if we did a search for the other
posts by x same x one
x other x
they'd all be just as crazy as this.
So it really doesn't go up or down.
This is just who he is.
He should be a new alien just about any day now.
I should be becoming a new alien by same X one X other X.
I shall soon see.
I should see how no human has seen before
mine eyes
will see as if a human's eyes
are given an HD conversion
I think soon
everything looks so lifelike
it's coming right at me
I see everything in 1080 pixels
I think soon
I will become me, part two
I am my left hand version
but I become my right hand version
It is
a part of a plan of a team
of three persons which never are
as they first appear
You remember the cartoon
Yu-Gi-Oh?
I remember Yu-Gi-Oh I remember the part of Yu-Gi-Oh? I remember Yu-Gi-Oh.
I remember the part of Yu-Gi-Oh where he became his right hand version.
Remember how...
I remember the HD Yu-Gi-Oh.
Remember how little Yu-Gi comes off as a left hand with a right hand being the part O?
They're not trites.
At certain times, little Yu-Gi
can't handle something.
Then, remember
how in the book called Matthew
in chapter 5
when there is
clues about there
being a left hand
and a right hand
in Yu-Gi-Oh? in Yu-Gi-Oh!
The Yu-Gi-Oh! New Testament connection
is finally fixed.
He switched to the New Testament at this point.
Wow, he just went from Yu-Gi-Oh!
to the New Testament. He's fucking hardcore.
Well, he was.
We've been a left-hand
version by our
higher-up
power, which shall convert us
into a right hand
version. The world is
about to get flipped
out. I know I've been.
It is about
to switch from left
to right. Out
the clear blue.
If you want to be a part of the right
hand then you can expect a bright anger
that shall have you struck one way or another he's gonna get you get you i was thinking that too
my right hand just want be just human my right hand will be alien human.
Mexican?
I was thinking District 9.
Señor, donde estas?
My right hand clues me in where us right hands will dwell.
We will dwell in a place which soars
but is a country.
Island country size.
Which the inhabitants
of the earth
will be able to see
right here in
earth skies.
There is going to be a
cleansing outside the sky
country which soars.
You should put that sky country over.
Upright.
Righteous.
All right.
What?
Praise Jesus and amen.
Alien Jesus.
It was right in my face all along that the actual righteous will be who comes in their right hand version.
The whole time, no one has been utterly righteous.
The actual righteous outwardly appearance will come soon of certain of us.
Let's just run through like five different Google Translates or something.
It will be a second
way at life.
Oh, it's just that
computer game.
Then we'll all be
20 foot tall fox people with
giant dicks growing out of our eyes.
Me writing
any and every
wrong is by me coming out of my left-hand version and coming into my right-hand version.
What, is this just jerk-off speak?
Coming out of your left-hand version?
Yeah, and coming into the right-hand.
I mean, he's just switch-hitting.
This is it, right?
Ah.
Okay, well, you got to switch it.
Good for you
our sky country
kingdom should be
see through enough
with regards in certain things
which should be
of course not be see through
uh huh
due season says
the next day
some point I should be in my right hand
and in a never before
seen kingdom which shall appear
into the sky
and not on the foolish ground
of this particular earth
which is going into a
terrible rise
and then a dreadful
destruction by the sky kingdom's terrible rise, and then a dreadful destruction
by the Sky Kingdom's
advanced persons
firing.
Okay, this was definitely put through a translator.
Holy shit.
If
you are not a hand
to begin with, then
what are you?
I don't know.
I never thought about it that way.
Good for nothing.
Dull.
Yes, dull people.
Don't come
against the Paros kids.
They don't die.
God damn it.
They rubbed up against me.
Since after you do and those kids become
adults in their
paro sky kingdom
you shall be touched
by their very
upright hand
in a wartime sequence
these adults
rightfully have utter authority in by their own lot In a wartime sequence. These adults. Rightfully.
Have utter authority.
In by their own lot.
Slash court.
Slash mall owners.
Eagles.
Mark their prey.
With their sense of vision.
My true brethren been never by big blood,
but been ever true brethren by being honorable.
Oh, God.
Wow.
Flying away.
I think that is honestly the nuttiest thing that we've ever read. Oh, God. Wow. I'm flying away! Hey!
I think that is honestly the nuttiest thing that we've ever read.
I walked into the mini mall and there was an eagle and... So apparently the Sky Country, which soars, is just a big mall.
Yeah.
There's a parking lot and a food court and the mall.
I like Hot Baked Tater's
response.
Interesting view on the
dissension and ascension process.
I was wondering, is the pharaoh
you speak of Horus?
Second post.
After the original
post.
You have a beautiful writing style. I do not understand your post. You have a beautiful
writing style. I do
not understand your post.
Do I enjoy reading it? Am I dull?
Clearly you're too stupid for not understanding
that.
Most of you forgot what form
this is. Off-topic posts will be
deleted and you will be post-banned!
We don't need an off-topic post-ban!
Wait, is this under the universe?
How can you have an off-topic?
I'm sorry, you put words together.
🎵
Guess what, hon. Here you go. It's for fun.
There you go.
Hi, I'm ClocktowerPanther463, and I think, I think that I figured out the flux capacitor.
It is a light producer.
It creates light so powerful, it engages time travel.
Ronald Mallett discovered this discovery of powerful light engaging time travel.
The problem with his time machine is that it won't go back further
than when the light was first created
or when the machine was first turned on.
But with the time circuits,
we'd be able to control that creation time,
but more on the time circuits later.
Anyways, the flux capacitor creates a powerful light,
and then there's a solar power generator
on the top of the inside of the FC.
The solar power generator
transfers that energy to the outside
of the vehicle and creates a
light cylinder,
quite like Ronald Mallett's time machine.
Now, why the vehicle would
have to go at high speeds such as
88 miles per hour,
I don't have a clue.
It's not like it was a plot device
or anything. It was
probably based in some sort of science.
Well, you know, most of the movie's budget was spent
actually building the time machine.
Yeah, they didn't have any money left over.
Yeah, the boy did that just out of the goodness of his heart.
Yeah, exactly. He did a pro bono.
You know how hard it was to go back in time
to the 1950s and find an actor that looks
exactly like Chris B. Glover?
Yeah, exactly.
Maybe the light
would only go around the car if it was
going at high speed, but one thing's for sure.
It would have to go at some
speed. BC, it wouldn't
travel anywhere or
any when if it was standing still. Now, as for the time
circuits, they're split into three parts. One part works as a memory unit, keeping the time you were
at previously. One part works as a clock to tell you where you are currently. And the last part
works like my file date program on my computer. It will create light particles that say they were created at a certain time.
Then it sends the light particles to the FC and it creates light.
Once time travel is engaged.
Then once the FC sends out its light,
wham,
three flashes of said light would appear at the exact time you punched in and
you appear as well.
Now there's only one problem.
What's the deal with stainless steel?
My only explanation would be that stainless steel isn't conductive,
like the metal on most cars, but that's not much help.
Wham!
I'm handing my balls over to the other people.
Everyone knows that stainless steel is neither an electricity or heat conductor.
Then it sends light particles to the
FC and creates light once time
travel is engaged. So it
created light, then it created light,
and then it sent out the light, and then
wham, three flashes of light would appear.
Right, and then time travel.
What are you getting about this?
You put it that way, it makes sense.
Okay, I've just figured out that stainless
steel is conductive, but it reflects light, which would be important for my machine, so that the light forms around the DeLorean rather than on the DeLorean, so that the whole thing travels through time rather than just a small piece.
Okay, you know what? There's really no point in the flux capacitor except for decoration.
I could just connect the time circuits directly to the flux discursal, which is that long light in front of the bumper of the car.
It would create light from the voltage of the time circuits using lasers, which is by far the most powerful light source known to man.
Except for the sun.
Instead of calling that weird bumper attachment the flux dispersal, I'm going to call it the flux capacitor.
BC, it's one of the
keys to time travel.
Lasers are the most
powerful light source known to man.
We have never looked in the sky
and discovered
any more.
I'm busy dealing with this flux capacitor that I don't
need, so I can make this flux dispersal
renamed to the flux capacitor.
Please tell me this guy's working on a Mr. Fusion as well.
Five days later, he figures something else out.
Wow.
Okay, I changed my mind. The flux capacitor actually has a great purpose.
Combining power to create enough energy to engage time travel.
Wow!
Power becomes energy? Wow!
So imagine this.
You have a power source capable of producing at least one gigawatt.
The same amount of power, one gigawatt, is sent into the three wires at the same time
and it leads to the main voltage.
So that would give off three gigawatts.
Wow!
Math!
Now, the only problem is that I don't know, slime colon P, how to generate one gigawatt of electricity in the first place.
Would plutonium or a bolt of lightning actually work?
If not, what are some other ways?
Wow!
You multiplied those gigawatts!
Get some plutonium!
What happened to the.21?
That's just kind of a buffer. What happened to the.21? Yeah.
That's just kind of a buffer.
You don't want your time machine to not be canon, do you?
Look, time travel is more of an art than a science.
He has that extra.21 gigawatts just as a buffer.
I mean, what's the first word in flux capacitor?
Flux.
Pablo Picasso.
All right.
There's a reply from Martin S. McFly.
Actually, that long bumper light thing is one of the two flux fans on the exterior of the DeLorean.
The other flux fan is the one that is bent around the rear of the car.
Flux dispersal is a process, not an object.
Doc,
what are you doing?
Here's an update. First of all,
the asterisk asterisk asterisk
asterisk with gigawatts.
I just found out about a device called an
explosively pumped flux compression
generator, or an EPFCG.
It's capable of producing
tens of terawatts. A terawatt is worth one
trillion watts. So no need to answer my question about lighting or plutonium, BC. I don't need it.
The only problem is they're not as easy to get as I expected. So if anyone can help me with that,
it would be very helpful. Also, did any of you notice around the beginning of BTTF Part 1, that weird thing that
looks like two circles and a diamond and a square?
I believe that's an electron beam.
And not just some special effects guy
doing his job. See, discharges
won't just appear out of nowhere.
That has to be a negative charge
on one side and a positive charge on the other.
That's how lighting in a thunderstorm works.
So, what I think
would happen is that you turn on the electron beam and's how lighting in a thunderstorm works. So, what I think would happen is that you turn
on the electron beam, and it starts creating
a negatively charged field around the car,
then the positive charge comes from
the flux bands, fixed for the correction,
Martin, and then it creates
discharges so powerful, it creates a
black hole.
But what are you going to do when you meet your other
you in the past?
You're going to suck him off.
Oh, that would be a paradox, dog.
Come on now.
Well, he's already there.
You might as well just suck him off.
It would destroy all of reality.
You're already in a fire.
You've got to go back and keep yourself from sucking yourself off.
But, dog, it feels great.
Wilco1985 then shortens his, like, 5-10 paragraph essay to You have a great imagination, Clocktower.
Don't waste your time trying to figure all this stuff out.
The real fun begins in fiction. Try it.
Fuck fiction! I'm sticking to reality.
However, I've decided to put the time machine aside and work on other future items,
whether they're from BTTF Part 2 or not.
I will be posting a new thread in another section soon.
Oh, God.
His next project will be self-lacing shoes.
A month later?
It's the fucking future.
Okay, I just had a different theory.
I'm not going to try to build this, and this isn't supposed to be an explanation of the FC.
But I figured out something that's about
99.9% the same as the FC.
Here it is.
Since this machine has a wormhole
emitter, it would obviously use
wormholes for time travel.
So, the wormhole emitter sends out
the negative energy all around the car.
Then the flux bands create gravitational
force. Now, the car would Then the flux bands create gravitational force.
Now, the car would need to be pretty massive,
so that's why it would need to be a car BC.
The faster it travels, the more massive it gets.
Now, the energy would have to be similar to a star,
so that's what the FC is for.
It turns the energy into energy similar to a star,
kind of like in Spider-Man 2.
Anyway, that energy goes up in the wormhole emitter,
and then you know the rest.
Now, the time circuits work like what I said before,
but they don't say that they were created on that day,
at that time you enter in.
They just say the time you enter in.
Like, if you wanted to enter November 25th, 1934 at 3 p.m., and the information sent in the form of electricity
will say November 25th, 1934, 1500.
And Wilco and Trongton, if you think this is nonsense,
that'll be your opinion.
But, Doc, stop posting on the internet forums.
Or they.
This internet is amazing.
Fox Horror Panther 463
raised a lot in one month.
Has anyone ever changed their skin color
from eating a lot of one type of food?
I would like to try green.
I read that if you eat a lot of carotene,
you could change your skin orange
from all the beta carotene.
What food item would change your skin green
these were some blogs i was checking out orange man.com.de steelgirl.com slash carrot.htm
lp i went on a diet when i was in high school on which i ate nothing but carrots for breakfast and dinner. Good carrots!
I skipped lunch because it was bikini season.
I have very fair white skin,
and after a few months, my skin actually did take on a distinctly orange tint.
Like the boner!
Yes, Rasputin.
I tariffed notice before I did.
My father was afraid I was jaundiced, but the whites of my eyes had not changed color.
He asked me if I had been eating a lot of carrots,
and I told him about my diet. He told me to
stop eating them, and I replaced them with
string beans. Neither
of them noticed that my diet was unhealthy
and extreme. I was
slim, but not visibly underweight.
They thought I looked good,
and they were right.
Except for my orange skin, of course.
And were pleased that I seemed to like vegetables so much.
My younger brother wouldn't eat a vegetable unless it was fried or covered in cheese.
All three of them thought my predicament was hilarious, but I was mortified.
I started wearing a beige-colored foundation on my face.
It was much darker than my natural color, but it helped hide the orange.
No one at school ever said anything about my new look,
but I felt terribly self-conscious and imagined that everyone was staring at me.
It took a few months, but my skin gradually returned to normal.
I still keep orange foods to a bare minimum,
even though I really like them.
I should tell you that all the string beans I eat for the rest of the year did not turn me green.
Surprise!
Neither did lettuce or spinach.
If you seriously want to turn green,
like the Wicked Witch of the West, I'm assuming,
I can't help you there.
But if you want to turn orange,
just eat carrots
morning, noon, and night.
Will do.
It seems like a strange goal to me,
but having just told you the story I did,
I am clearly too fucking weird to judge you.
Good luck. Fair enough.
Trey Hugger suggests
maybe see vegetables like
chlorella, but they are also very cleansing, so it may not work after all.
Just give you green poopy!
Well, good.
Don't just rub the poopy on your face.
My poopy was born in a toilet.
Are you writing the biography of a poopy?
Yes.
And there we have it.
John, what'd you learn tonight?
I learned that I'm going to sit on Doc Brown's face.
Excellent.
And I learned what I'm going to spend $150 on. A brand new alien vagina.
A shape?
Yeah, shaped like an alien vagina.
Awesome.
Yeah, we can share it.
I'd like to thank my mom and my gardener and the dog.
I would like to thank these websites for showing me how to become a vampire.
Thank you for the fake award.
I'm going to put it on my desk every night.
Excellent.
You want to go make out now?
Yes.
All right.
Yes, I would.
Yay. Yay! Okay, my name is
Mike Fick.
Well, supposedly there are higher
ranking reptilians with wings
and may be taken as breakups
with an obsessive
or dragons.
You're breaking up.
God damn it!
Ouch! Yeah, you're not a member, though. Goddammit! Ow.
Uh oh, he's morphed into his dragon form.
Oh shit.
His dick's gonna breathe fire.
Oh god.
He's not coming back, is he?