The F Plus - 350: The Similar Worlds Project
Episode Date: March 19, 2021Similar Worlds is a website where users can share their own allegedly true life experiences in a quest for acceptance, comfort and camaraderie. Naturally, this means going off on insane rants and... getting really excited about being strangled by nerd thighs. This week The F Plus sees two things, but mostly your vagina.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I, I, whatever the case, they're gonna have to fix it.
Adam, I thought you weren't even here!
I'm not!
Ignore me, have fun!
Coming down to get some adult sodas from the friend.
So embarrassing.
Just keep the door open.
It's fine.
He's walking in on us.
You say that door is open a crack.
That feels like that's not quite a crack.
Oh my god.
It's embarrassing.
Your impression of your son live no my my son's friends are all like
and then he just sits there like
staring death glare that's all right
that's all right as long as you can
work most of the audience yeah hey
everybody is everybody here friends
with ace one question why the audience. Yeah. Hey, everybody. Is everybody here friends with Ace? One question.
Why?
Oh, nice.
Nice.
Love it.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Damn, that's a stupid podcast.
It's the F Plus Podcast.
Terrible things
right with enthusiasm. in the room tonight,
we've got booze rain gear.
I've always wanted a woman to run me over with her car.
Frank West.
There's an infinite amount of things I haven't shared on the internet.
From left-handed radio.
Your friend on the internet is named Adam Bozarth.
The local werewolf blew a huge load in my mailbox last night.
It looks like someone blew up a mayonnaise jar in there.
Why does he read the internet?
He reads the internet for you!
His name is Lou Fernandez.
The bedroom is quiet when the Tooth Fairy arrives.
She spots an ass crack barely covered by the blankets.
Pulling it down, she finds a big dangling pair of fat balls between the sleeper's legs.
She fondles them for a bit and takes a lick.
She then pulls out a fistful of coins.
She shoves them, and her fist...
All right, let's move on to the intern.
You can't simply pretend that an ancient esoteric study isn't real.
If it wasn't, why would it still exist today?
Facts.
Welcome back,
Ironicus! I caught my mom having
sex. Many times.
Kinda cool. Happy days.
And lemon. Why is everyone so
horny in here?
What happens if you eat the spray
from a spoon?
Hey, F+.
Hey, Lemon.
Hi, Lemon.
Hello, Lemon.
Hi, Lemon.
Oh, so many, so many, so many people.
Hey, are you all feeling supported?
No.
No.
Emotionally, physically?
Yeah, all of that.
Monetarily?
Mm-hmm, yep, correct. All of it, yes. Answers Yeah, all of that. Monetarily. Yep, correct.
All of it.
Yes.
Answers noted.
All of them.
This chair is definitely falling apart.
So many people all feeling completely unsupported.
But that's weird.
That's weird to me because I know that all of you do have Internet access, right?
Yeah, that's part of the problem.
I will find.
No, no.
The thing about the internet is that it does provide emotional support.
You know how like when it's like 11 or 12 p.m.
and you're sort of like scrolling through your Twitter timeline and you're like, I'm
just getting happier.
Whee!
It's like a slide.
Just go faster and faster Well okay
If that's your experience
Then I'm going to change your experience
And I'm not going to do it with the experience project
Because the experience project
Is a website that no longer exists
However
Here's a site that was Given exists. However, here's a site
that was given to us by
SecretGage in 69,
and it is called Similar Worlds.
Would you like to hear what
Similar Worlds is?
Sure, yeah, yeah.
Sure, it's Experience Project.
Oh, okay.
That's it.
And if you're not familiar with that particular website uh what the idea was is
that uh sort of people would share their own personal experiences with different super healthy
and normal things and then other super healthy normal people would help them and support them
um and then everyone would just feel better about themselves you could pay uh you could pay five
dollars a month to get rid of the ads,
or you could do it the normal way.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, the one thing the Experience Project did not have
that Similar Worlds was smart enough to have
was a shitload of microtransactions.
So we're going to start off with this.
This is a mildly adult, a mildly adult comment.
And I think, Ironicus, if you'll start us off here.
Your name is, your name is WhamFan213.
Thank you, ma'am.
My name's WhamFan21 213 and i love mud last autumn i suggested a mud run as a friend's 30th birthday
party daytime activity before going out at night i know how much fun mud runs are and one of her
mates had done one too so the six of us got booked up. So she'd done one fun mud run. Done one fun mud run.
Red leather, yellow leather.
So the six of us got
booked up on an obstacle course race
and headed out to the country.
We were wearing a
very superhero catsuit
with bright colored tutu skirts
cheap from eBay to be as
madly dressed as possible
but still sort of practical on the course.
Of you don't know what these mud runs are like,
look at YouTube.
They are mad.
Yeah, one would say they are tough.
Wild.
As we were making our way around the course,
the first muddy obstacle was a huge, wide tarp
which drops into a huge
mud pit. Some of the
girls, and one of the guys,
were a bit unsure, but the rest
of us picked them up and sent them down
first. I loved landing
in the mud up to our thighs
and sort of rolling
out of the first bit,
helping each other out as we go along.
It's one of those times you can feel your friends up, hands bit helping each other out as we go along it's one of those times
you can feel your friends up
hands all over each other
whoa
whoa
slipping
and sliding and
loads of accidental and deliberate
ass cock and boob grabs on each other
whoa
whoa
this is perfectly fine as we help each other up and, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. This is perfectly fine.
As we help each other up and over things and the feeling of slipping about belly down,
crawling under nets through mud and wading down the stream waist deep, sometimes having
to duck lower as then the course is designed, all drip into wet and filthy in our cat suits
and tutu skirts, mud on our faces, but so happy having the best time.
Then at the end, it's a cold shower of hard nipples and boners in the wet clothes.
Having a right laugh together.
Nothing like cold water for a boner.
So which were harder, the nipples or the boners?
The night out was fun. I just need this to visualize.
We kept
throwing out drinks on each other so we
were soaked again. Oh, clever.
Three of us headed back to my friends with her
and got wild in her bathroom.
Oh, wow. Super real
stuff that happened. That's awesome.
Oh, fuck. George, you fell.
Let me help you up. Honk, honk.
Why in the bathroom?
Didn't they go to a house?
Yeah, yeah,
but you know, we're fun.
We're fun in the bathroom.
And then, so Boots,
obviously, there's no comments
for this first thread
here, this I love mud thread.
Can you tell me anything about the sort of like comment form that you can reply to with?
Oh, sure.
Like it's got your standard like sort of formatting things.
You can insert an image.
You can insert a video.
You could tag it as regular or nudity.
Two categories of comments.
Regular and nudity.
Tell me about your experience, Frank West.
I wet my pants playing video games.
Okay.
I'm that DL guy.
So, Fallout 76 has come out recently.
I was actually in the beta, so my character from beta transferred over so I didn't have to be in the same start area with everyone.
But I've enjoyed it so much that I literally forgot I had to be and ending up wetting myself while playing.
ending up wetting myself while playing.
It might be strange, but I
didn't realize at first
until I shifted Abbott
in my chair. Then I realized,
oh, my
pamps are wet.
Do you have a spinal injury? How do you not
know? My seat is wet
usually.
There's multiple indications that you've
peed yourself.
I can think of four. This is such a good and successful game it was hard to tell through my diaper
uh a pebbins brand diaper yeah hey i'm baby is back 2018
i'm baby is back 2018 that very hot. You should message me sometime.
The pee is cold now.
That's slightly less hot.
I had a similar reaction to playing Fallout 76 when I realized they were releasing what was basically a beta. It would take a year to actually release a better game.
Lou, what do you like?
What do I like?
Let me tell you what I like.
I'm Varun.
And I like being nude with
others who like to be nude with
others.
The Sphinx's riddle.
It's that blur song.
The lockdown was a haven when I was able to drive a bike completely naked.
Knowing not many would be out, I would have the luck to bike naked.
Of course, there were a few people here and there, but all they did was stare.
My name is a Zenra lover.
Nice.
Thanks.
Do you feel supported now?
Just by the seat.
But not very much.
My name's Lad789.
Yeah, uh-huh.
Bold.
That's what I'm talking about.
Hey, the intern.
Yes.
Do you know what the acronym CFNF means?
I do.
Isn't that a railroad?
No.
What is it
first letter first word
clothed c f n f
clothed female nude female
yep
is that it yep exactly okay great
to that extent uh the
intern um can you tell me about your
story of uh c f n
f
uh yeah i love c f and f um roberta's roberta's CFNF? Yeah, I love CFNF.
Roberta's nude photo shoot, right?
So there I was with a woman
named Roberta.
She is a very beautiful woman
in her early 40s with big
C-cut breast and a
hourglass figure. She is a beautiful woman with a very,
very lovely body. I am a female photographer named Kata Lynn in my early 20s, 26 years old.
I don't know why you're mentioning that you're a female so many times.
I'm sure it'll be relevant.
The parent in the text,
the mid twenties started age 28,
by the way,
for the record,
I have five years experience in this felid graduating form collage with a
degree in photography.
I have taken pictures like landscapes vases people no children and models
male and females i'm very good at my profession but this right here was very much of a challenge
doing photos of a nude woman. So here
I was in the studio
getting the camera ready for the shoot.
Now the camera is now ready.
Then there, Roberta
came out with a blue robe
on. What do you have to do to get the camera
ready? Do you have to
set the lighting
and the emotional needs?
You gotta replace the filaments and the flash.
You have to change it from base vases to people.
Now, camera, I'm about to take photos of a nude woman.
I don't want you embarrassing me.
Gotta put in the 1890s film cartridge.
When she came out, she had a confidence about her.
Confidence.
Confidence. Confidence.
Quote, Sandra, aren't you a little bit nervous about this nude photo shot?
I said to Roberta, oh, no, Caitlin.
I'm very comfortable with the shoot.
I took a bubble bath.
Then after that, the women with me in it dried my naked body. Oh, there's more than one
woman. Dry me, women. I appreciate
that you hired those women to dry my body off. Then
ladies did my makeup and rub cream all over
my naked body. So I'm ready to shoot. Let's start, said
Roberta anxiously.
I have to admit
she has a lot of confidence
and boldness about
her. So neither of these women
knew about these other women, so
they're just sort of freelance wandering
around. Yeah, no, she's got like four or five
ladies-in-waiting. She's got
like four confidants that hang out with
her, too. I guess that explains who Sandra
is.
Let it rip, I told Roberta.
Yeah!
With one
movement, she took off her robe
and threw it
one side on the ground.
There she stood, naked, not embarrassed
but bold. It's the Akira
scene, just taking the cover off the bike.
With the camera taking in the view of her naked body.
I saw every part of her nude body, her breast, thighs, leg, and mostly her vagina.
Mostly?
Mostly.
And mostly her vagina.
It was massive.
Wow.
Wow, that's a big vagina.
The thing I noticed on her body is two things.
Her erect nipple and her woman bush of a pussy.
How she was able to keep one nipple erect and the other one soft.
Amazing.
I forgot to say my sister Stacy was present at the photo shoot, sitting down.
Her, it was me.
And my sister had clothes on.
Roberta is standing there butt naked.
My sister also saw Roberta in the nude.
They only think that Roberta was high heel.
Wow, she hairy, said my sister Stacy out loud.
Out loud?
What are you talking about, honey, said Roberta.
You're hairy, said Stacy, pointing at Roberta's hairy pussy.
You're hairy.
Okay, okay, let's get this photo shoot started, I said.
Is this like an ogre photo shoot?
Then Roberta got into a sexy pose and I started snap away.
They were also the women that help her here.
Get ready.
Those women were looking on as well.
So on all their wear for women in the room, nothing but females in the room, staring at this naked woman posing on stage
while the one woman behind the camera, me,
snaping away.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Math doesn't work.
Yeah, well, there's her, there's her sister,
there's the model.
And there's the women who helped with the cream.
Which are all four of them.
Which are all women.
They all speak in one Greek chorus.
Roberta posed in such really sexy poses.
She looked breathtaking.
I have to say she looked amazing from head to toe.
The more I started sniping, the more I admired her naked body.
Light brown, gorgeous skin.
In the jungle, the might might jungle the lion sleep tonight my sister stacy
saying teasing roberta about her woman bush vagina okay stacy that's enough honey said roberta
then roberta started posing so gracefully
showing us that gorgeous ass of hers. Nice butt,
Roberta, said my sister Stacy.
Why, thank you, honey, Roberta
replied with a smile.
Then the photo shot was over
and Roberta came over and my
surprise completely naked towards
me and thanked me for the photo shoot
by huging me. Then a chorus
I hugged her back.
Share no problem, Roberta, I me. Then of course I hugged her back. Share no problem, Roberta.
I replied. Then Roberta
for some strange reason
she took my hand, laid them on her
butt.
Does sound challenging.
Posted on July 4th,
2017. God bless America.
Would you like to hear some
more words from let's see, what is it?
KD-
KD-2000.
Would you like to hear some more words from KD-2000?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
This user is no longer a member of Similar Worlds.
Oh, I can still mute, block, or report them, though.
That's great.
What a woman bush vagina tease that is.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
Okay, so that was the first section that Secret Gage in 69 gave us.
That section was called Fetishes.
The next section is called Insanity.
Boots, you seem to be a little bit angry.
Is that right?
Oh, boy, am I? am i yeah okay let me figure
out what i'm angry about your pick a pick a pocket tony 21 down yep that's what i am
pick a pocket and pick a pocket tony 21 down yep yeah and I have something to say, and I want to make it perfectly clear.
Yes, my mood is elder brother of Ruby Spa, brothels, Portland,
Cotter, Mass.
Zoom.
How to gay, how to G or any way relate to Moore's rule,
Hawk, Mistress, Uma, Mary, Khan, or any at all. Or any way relate to Morsrul Hawk Mistress Uma Mary Khan.
Or any at all.
I don't give a fuck
if she fucked.
Obadul Islam, younger brother,
Sirajul Islam for us, visa.
Or the place,
Casino's food tester,
Mohammed for dinero,
also totaled red Ford door car gore insurance scam.
Is this how you awaken the old gods?
She is neighbor related to Mudler Khan,
not for my family.
She can fuck her,
Jasmat Uslam,
Raj Shashi,
Bhagamat Hightower,
Taliban terrorist cousin,
Mansur Muraman, as much she likes. Is this one of those Dada poems Taliban terrorist cousin man some more ramen
as much she likes
is this one of those Dada poems that the talking heads
turn into a song
personal identification information
and Simpki
inside trading by
her daughter and Mrs. Sandra
Brown's back
will send details of Peterson
on Wall Street Journal
she or a sad tulu jar not my family back. We'll send details of Peterson on Wall Street Journal. She or
a sad Tulu jar.
Not my family.
I don't know why that was in the insanity
category. You gotta stand up for yourself.
Sometimes you just gotta stand up for yourself.
Pick a pocket, Tony.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have a dark side?
Is that right? Oh, good. Yeah. Great.
I have a dark side. I don't.
But you do.
The honor Louisiana hospitality.
Mother of two.
1963.
Bobby, you do now. Now I would like all smuggler of human genome science.
Metamube inside traders.
Stay away from my electronics.
Keck Trinix.
Go find the driver and Lusernir's provider
of Vienna City, Mr. Radhid Chittagong
and Mongolia best Fruend
and Sultana, his wife.
And Jan Chowdhury's niece
driving Saudi money Range Rover
by Saudi Mitek comfort in
go ask that
Farzana Qudas Noreen
odor black bends
each dime were stolen
from public accounters
HGS Inc
well that section
was as described thanks a lot
secret agent 69
that definitely was insane.
We're going to move into the psychics category.
Frank West, tell yourself about you, please.
I still miss EP.
I still miss EP.
I am psychic, comma, spiritual.
Look at things in a different way.
If people understood these truths truths they would be a lot
more careful sex equals sacred energy exchange exchange you didn't capitalize the x so
that's cool okay you know what i'll walk with it's fine it's good acronym great yeah I mean it's gonna
wrap together with the STD
sexually transmitted
demons
does that mean that they're sacred energy
exchange transmitted demons
yeah
no
shit
oh no I'm trapped in my own acronyms.
The Kama Sutra is 26 volumes of books.
It is not.
It is.
It says right here.
Okay.
Too bad the only one people paid any attention to was number seven sex that's like
reading the chapter on brain surgery ignoring all the other science and medical tests i always
thought of sex like brain surgery i've never tried either frankly they both scare me but that's okay
here is how the movie ends
you run up
sorry I
yeah the Kama Sutra movie you know what it is
part 7 in a 26 film series
yes
from the guys who brought you the Bhagavad Gita
you run up all the mileage
you can on your vagina, just prove
how liberated you are.
You can't roll that
odometer back.
Just to
prove how liberated you are
and get your experience.
Then when you get older,
you'll wonder why you are on
antidepressants and sedatives just to get you
through the day maybe even some therapy to help you along you'll be baffled as to why you're so
screwed up you will puzzle puzzle over why your relationships go to shit then when you have kids
you'll wonder why they're so screwed up. See how that works?
No.
Just think about it.
And remind me, what group did you post this in?
I am psychic, comma, spiritual.
Gotcha, gotcha.
I am psychic, comma, spiritual, comma, don't have sex.
Right.
That's what that means.
Oh, I thought it was have as much sex and then just be depressed later.
Oh, okay. I mean,
yeah, yeah.
Yeah, me too. I'm going to vote for the me too.
Yeah, maybe just
have sex now because you're going to be depressed
later either way, so fuck it.
And then you just wonder why your kids are screwed up.
This is just a plan.
That's how it works.
Lou,
very next
post in this same
category, the I am psychic,
spiritual. This one has a
giant 82 people.
So, really big community.
And let's
see. Your name is Deluxe Edition.
My old neighbor,
ever since I met him, I
always knew there was something about him.
He and his girlfriend made me feel welcome and settled at my new home with their graciousness and their kindness.
He and I have spent a lot of time together as friends and friends only.
But yesterday, me and him were hanging out and we got into a deep, deep discussion.
He told me he sees the numbers too, and he reads about them and he knows what they mean.
Basically, what he told me is that the numbers he sees tell him that he's here to show people
a new way of living and to spread joy and happiness. His numbers also encouraged him
to be a teacher and to work with small children
which was hilarious to me because i've seen him dealing with small children and he handled it so
well he would be that's really funny then it's so funny yeah don't you see why it's funny because
he he handled it well be a teacher and he was good at being a teacher.
If you just listen to the numbers.
Okay, okay, great.
He would be excellent to do so.
I know a lot about the numbers, so he asked me some things about what various numbers meant, and he asked me what numbers I saw.
What the fuck does that mean?
What do numbers mean?
Yeah, the numbers. The numbers.
We're here to talk about numbers.
Guys, come on.
What's three, though?
I'll talk to you later.
I told him
he saw certain numbers when he did because
he isn't in the profession that
serves his highest purpose. I think
we were supposed to have that meeting last night. I think
it was very important that I told him the information
in which I told him. You see,
my numbers tell me
I'm a light worker and that I'm
a teacher. Pretty light work, I bet.
Yeah.
I came here to spread
my light and raise the vibration of the planet and show the earth people a new and more effective ways of doing things.
I'm a role model for people to observe my life.
And I affect a lot of people.
I make a lot of people think and go, hmm.
Those are the things that make you go that's how he raises the vibration energy
hmm
yeah
my job is to teach people how to become
their greatest versions
I am a guide
I show people where they're supposed to be
and help people align themselves with their higher selves
I work closely with the ascendant masters and theangels, and I came here with a purpose.
So did you.
What is it, I wonder?
What is it, I wonder?
The numbers will tell us!
What is it you wonder? I am also curious.
Hi.
I affect a lot of people.
Is that Fernie? Hi. Yeah yeah it's me fernie hi i'm in the comments
a role model for people to observe your life truly enlightened people just are they don't
post it on a social site they just are are quietly enlightened. Oh, fuck.
I want to see your food blog.
At Fernie, we feel urged to talk about
our likes and experiences
so that people can see them
and we can connect and enlighten one another
with discussions of our lives.
At Deluxe Edition,
we have studied Buddhism long enough,
maybe longer than you have been on this earth.
Maybe.
To know that enlightened people just are,
they don't broadcast it.
They are humble in their teachings.
At Fernie, the question is my experiences in my posts.
What is it that angers you
about trying to explain the things I see
from my personal perspective?
I am not Buddhist.
That is an assumption you have conjured.
At Deluxe Edition,
I feel absolutely no anger right now at all.
Oh my God, what are your feelings at root beer?
at all.
Oh my God, what are your feelings on root beer?
If you attach anger to my words because you don't like them,
then you have a long way to go
before you become awake.
Enlightened people don't leap into defensiveness
like you just did.
You have a long way to go, kiddo.
At Fernie, you are projecting onto me
nothing you're trying to paint me as is accurate in any way.
It's a projection of yourself.
And the only reason we're having this conversation
Wow, Fernie is doing amazing things to your the first place is because of your defensiveness.
At Deluxe Edition, LOL projecting what?
I defended myself against your incorrect accusation
that I was speaking to you in anger.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
I feel no animosity towards you.
My point, last point,
is you present yourself as some highly enlightened creature
when you speak like a defensive little teenager.
I'm done.
At Fernie. Good. Bye'm done. At Fernie.
Good. Bye, lol.
I don't know. It sounds like Fernie's got
your number.
Fernie's real good.
Does Fernie just do
this all over the time?
I should have said goodbye lol 69
uh uh later on uh also in the uh psychic section uh is another group uh this group
uh specifically uh is called i am psychic it's got a whole 21 people in it oh uh
ironic is what you got there my name is is Ewizo. Psychic Perception.
On Monday, October 29th, 2018
at 11.49pm CST,
I was watching the movie Beirut, and the
image of an actor from a television show flashed in my mind.
I knew I was about to see him.
The scene changed, and there he was.
Psychic Perception.
I knew him from the series Snowfall, where he
played an Israeli drug dealer in 1980s Los Angeles.
Some might assume something in the movie reminded me of him.
However... Psychic perception.
However, this was a psychic perception.
The opening credits when his name showed up.
So it was distinct from other kinds of cognition.
I knew I was about to see his face. He came to me
like in a vision. This is how psychic perceptions
differ from normal perception. A television.
You are absolutely certain of what
is about to happen in a pre-deja vu
moment. Wait, what?
Does that
mean experiencing something for the first time?
You are an
ascended master, I see.
I'm getting the feeling that I'm about to
experience something that will feel like
I've experienced it before.
It's something. I feel like I haven't experienced
it before.
Oh, it's so unfamiliar.
I stopped the movie and checked the Snowfall IMDb
and there he was. The actor's name is
Alan Aboudboul. He plays Avi
in Snowfall and Ran-E-Niv
in Beirut. I saw his face in my mind about
50-30 in the movie and he appeared at
50-40. It was like a quick little jog in the timeline.
I could probably write up a dozen of these reports each day of my life if I stopped and paid attention.
The reason I don't do this is it triggers my psychic perception to become much stronger very quickly.
I don't want to become dominated by it.
I'm just too good at being psychic.
I don't want to be too psychic.
I was watching something where there was a guy who was typecast in this role
and he just happened to be
there again.
I cannot believe
that Rocky Balboa is played by the same
man eight times.
Who writes this shit?
I saw this man
who was playing an Italian tough guy.
It was Sylvester Stallone, which I expected
it to be.
Psychic perception is similar to genius
in that it is a ravenous force
within the gifted person's brain.
It drives more strongly
than any other awareness
within consciousness.
It wants to devour
all the person's attention.
It wants the person to dedicate
every waking moment to its fruition.
It's like an obsession
or an extremely favored activity.
It comes easily and feels natural.
It is a hobby.
No two psychics
are alike. Their skills are unique and varied,
and always changing, improving.
For some reason, I have a unique relationship
with the timeline, or the time-space continuum.
I have an ability to see the past
in a way that is extremely anomalous and unique,
which is a story for another day.
Psychic perception.
I have an ability to see the future in a way that is probably similar to other psychics.
However, I have a unique relationship with the timeline.
I know that when we are in the present, the past and the future also exist simultaneously.
Astrophysicists, please take note.
That is a 60-year-old woman writing this.
a 60 year old woman writing this so it's time for
a little bit of a blast from the
semi-recent past
I don't actually
remember what episode it was a
recent-ish episode that we covered this
but do you remember
the
particular guy that had a fascination
with
being strangled by nerd thighs?
Lemon, there is not a single day that has gone by that I don't think about nerd thigh Strangle Man.
Okay, great.
Well, in that case, what you got there, Adam?
I enjoy the thought of people dying from getting strangled by nerd thighs.
Second perception.
To be specific, I am turned on by the idea of nerdy men.
The stereotypical skinny palakine with big glasses, etc.,
killing people by strangling them with their thighs.
I have documented at least four cases of this occurring
and involving the death of the victim.
The cases were in 1981, 2008, 2014,
and 2015.
Alright, we can catch this sicko. There's a pattern.
Climate change is
making it worse.
In all of these cases, we knew that
the thighs were nerdy?
Yes.
They keep telling the media to not publicize
the nerdy thigh murderers because it just
encourages other people with nerdy thighs to go out strangling.
We have a taste for it now.
They've deregulated nerd thighs.
Wait a minute.
This thigh has a Harry Potter tattoo on it.
You can see the impression here on her neck.
Oh, yeah.
So far, the fifth case is yet to happen.
I can't help hoping for it to happen soon which of course it will involve a person dying
and when I mean strangulation
I don't mean a wrestling hold
their larynxes were crushed by the thigh muscles
so they died from being unable to breathe
and sustained heavy
bruising on their necks. I went
so far as to read their autopsy
reports to make sure.
I'm very
creeped out.
You know, Lieutenant,
retiring
has been tough after 30 years
in the job. The one case we couldn't crack.
The nerd thigh strangler
I'm gonna hunt out on my own time
the hammer pans over
the shot of the door slowly opening
nerdy thighs walk in
it doesn't help that I
every time I have heard about someone
being suffocated to death using thighs, a nerdy guy did it.
Right, right.
This makes me love nerds so much.
A nerdy guy.
Yes.
Whenever I see a nerdy man, be it real or fictional or even a cartoon one, I'm not going to name any because all of them are my husbandos,
LOL.
It also helps if they are mean
and sadistic nerds.
Oh, boy. You know who I thought
was the hottest guy in Greece?
Oh.
The nerd.
Oh, I thought you meant
ancient Greece.
I feel really excited and constantly look at their thighs,
respecting them,
and imagining myself to have my larynx slowly crushed like a boa constrictor.
Oh, no!
The prophecy is coming true!
...in the back of my neck.
And his ankles are twisted
and locked tight every time I...
Oh, no! The thighs are giving him a tracheotomy!
It helps, but I don't tire
until I die from suffocation
and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
Oh, the irony.
He typed it as he was dying.
Got any clues, Chief?
Yeah.
Nothing.
So, Adam, that post that you had, the post,
I enjoy the thought of people dying from getting strangled by nerd thighs.
What was the title?
What was the category?
What category did you put that in?
Health.
Health.
And poster of that, Willie the Wiz, how's your account doing?
Well, let me
take a look. Oh, this user is
no longer a member of SimilarWorlds.
Interesting.
I do like
sign me up for that
his comment, just because he really nailed this guy.
He wrote,
he's homo for nerds.
Happened when his father touched him
using protractors, and mom watched. I guess that would be homo, becauses. Happened when his father touched him using protractors and mom watched.
I guess that would be
homo because if you were a nerd
and then the other one was a nerd.
Yeah, okay.
What do you got there?
So that was
a guy by the name of
Willie the Wiz who of course has been banned.
We'll miss Willie the Wiz very much
so I guess we're just going to have to go
to this completely different thread
by Meredith Richard Leslie
yeah man get a load of that last guy right
anyway I'm Meredith
Richard Leslie so
I just got back from my drug trip
and I had the most amazing
adventure oh this sounds fun
I can see why you posted this in the
miscellaneous section.
I'm still tripping a little
bit, but I just had the most
amazing adventure.
On drugs.
On drugs!
Can you believe it?
I did hallucinogenics!
I hope you don't say what you took.
I did hallucinogenics!
I hope you don't say what you took.
Drugs. I said drugs.
You ever reenacted Raiders of the Lost Ark on NyQuil?
It would be truly a misdeed of me if I had not informed my compadres of my grand experience.
Oh, fuck you.
Oh, and that's us. Okay.
Let me just adjust my fedora.
See, my old doctor,
Dr. Carlson, got fired, and now he's a bum living off the street.
But...
Is this in the trip, or is this
actually what happened to Dr. Carlson?
But good old Carlson offered me some
good shit last Friday, and he
was giving me the willies, so I ended up
taking his entire stash so we could
have my broken off-white leather
Ikea office swivel chair
that I so unfortunately broke
while masturbating to pictures of Bill Gates.
Oh, I see, I see.
So doctor in that sense.
Is this QAnon
satire?
Maybe?
What a handsome devil.
That Bill Gates.
Billy. I decided to
take it, and 20 minutes later, I felt
like nothing was happening.
You're definitely not saying what you took. That's great.
I took it.
The drugs. The drugs.
The stuff, man.
The drugs that made him out of a drug trip.
His entire stash.
It was something a doctor gave him.
I took his whole stash, and I took it.
In exchange for a broken chair.
I felt so depressed and alone in a dark pit in my soul.
I went to bed, and suddenly I felt something warm moving towards me.
It was a nerd!
A naked one
in all of his skinny, pale
completely hairless
creamy glory
That is what nerds look like, yep
Skinny, pale
Creamy
Good skin
That's what you usually expect out of nerds
it was actually
a nematode
it's a common
tree frog
those are links I'd love to get strangled by
I gasped in awe
when I felt a hand push itself
against my mouth and nose his nails
digging into my tender
flesh. He whispered into
my ear, his horn-rimmed glasses
being barely visible on my peripheral.
Okay, so he was naked
except for the Lisa Loeb glasses?
This is Lisa Loeb.
Don't force it, dear. Just let it happen.
What?
That was when I knew he was in full authority of me.
Nobody revolts against a nerd and gets away with it, I thought.
No, I think most people do, like, all the time.
Like, daily.
Haven't you seen Revenge of the Nerds, Lemon?
Or possibly Revenge of the Nerds 2?
Everybody, clap your hands.
I didn't realize this was mildly adult.
Just mildly.
He gave me a pair of handcuffs
and that's when I handcuffed my own hands
using my newfound telekinetic powers.
I'm on drugs, remember.
You may have forgotten.
All of them.
The stash.
This is the weed from zapped
or like from some sort of
he pushed my forward
and began stroking my neck
and back
commenting how smooth
and oh so delicate my neck
really was
you're so good with my forward
i was having an epiphany in my darkest hours and my most colorful of dreams yes it was god
in nerd form god's back I felt his firm yet somewhat soft thighs begin to crush my neck as I could do literally nothing to stop it.
His telekinetic powers overpowered my feeble ones tighter and tighter.
His thighs blackened my neck as I screamed out in both pain and orgasm.
Blood shot out my mouth as my trachea was shattered.
What?
What?
Huh.
What?
It's an advanced strangling.
It's really good.
These is God's thighs.
Are there more than one people on the internet that's just like, nerd thighs, yes, that's my thing.
Yes.
Why? How?
It's plausible that this is a bunch of different people, but I like to think that there was one person who posted everywhere and a handful of followers who were like, yeah, okay.
This does sound like a good fetish. I'll sign up.
The Jesus of nerd thighs.
It's just so distributed like it's everywhere but not
concentrated in any one place it's really weird and they don't write the same like like every
nerd thigh strangle story looks it's written slightly differently yes which is well the
original one was very very specifically about the uh the warden from Super Chill. Yeah.
Blood shot out my mouth as my trachea was shattered,
forcing itself out from my pursed lips.
And leaving red and splotches on my bedsheets and towards his feet.
Frank, is this your new metal song now?
With the pursed lips, I'm just picturing like Bugs Bunny in a statue pose ripped up his hair
not that it bothered him
this was how he gained power
I gasped
and gasped
it was no use
I desperately writhed as asphyxiation
progressed but found
that I was being drowned by the nerd's cum that
was churning out like a faucet.
Where did the...
There's cum in here now?
It was churning out like a faucet.
No, a waterfall.
Churning, huh?
Well, it's a nerd cum. It's different.
I need...
I hope someone draws a visual of this because
the idea
of the thighs
Lou there's literally only
one person I can think of who would draw
this
who is it? It's you
it's you
I'll have to think about it
Lou I will send you $20 if you send me that image
just send it to
4northidesonly at gmail.com.
Thank you.
An impossibly
continuous waterfall of
nerd cum mockingly
masked my purple-tinted face
in a white, sticky,
ever-so-gooey hodgepodge of
delicious nerdlet cream
of only the utmost, finest quality.
Come on down to NerdCom Farms!
Quality Com. Quality Com.
It wasn't until long that I found myself floating in a world...
That much cum.
There's just so much cum.
In a world.
That much cum.
There's just so much cum.
In a world where every living person is a nerd or a nerd's thigh walking on its own legs. What?
What?
What a beautiful world.
There are legs.
Where the thighs have legs.
And the cum, it turns.
It looks like.
Okay, that's the drawing I want to see.
Thighs with their own legs.
Yeah, pony up another 20.
Frank West's drawing, it's private.
Yeah, you want to see, you pay me.
If somebody draws it, I'll pay Frank West 20 bucks.
Can I stand by this?
I'm gonna share this with my friend who's actually
an artist.
I'm gonna have to make
that email, huh? Anyway,
so that seems like a pretty gross post.
I'm sure you're probably done at this point.
Legs of lamb, chicken thighs,
and a nerd who ruled them all.
Hmm.
That's when I heard yelling.
Oh, the yelling.
It was murder for my ears.
It was my alarm.
In my bewildered state,
I had drunkenly come upon the realization
that I'd been tripping out for a good seven hours,
and my bedsheets were stained with gratuitous amounts of cum, vomit, and I pissed in shit all over my laptop.
Good.
Drugs, I'm telling you.
That was not on the bed.
And somehow that made this post.
Are you not done?
Oh, no.
I'm typing on this before the keyboard shorts out.
Oh no.
I'm typing on this before the keyboard shorts out.
Let me tell you, it was completely fucking worth it.
10 out of 10 will consult Dr. Carlson again.
Now to clean up all the cum, shit, piss, and vomit all over my room.
I am a new man.
Wait, is this a Yelp review?
Imagine the drugs you could get if you traded a working chair,
though.
He wants pre-broken only.
He's down on his luck now that he's a street bum.
Experience five out of five stars.
Delivery three out of five.
A little late.
Who'd you masturbate to do in this chair?
Steve Jobs.
More of a Microsoft guy.
Hey, the intern.
Yes?
Coming up to the end of this episode here,
but I do have a choice for you.
I do have a choice for you.
And coming up on the end.
We're not quite at the end, but I do have a choice for you.
And that choice is one of the following three things.
One is called fed up with husband's constantarting, Also While We're Eating.
That's by Brass Monkey.
The Funky Monkey?
Yeah, that's the Funky Monkey.
Yep.
Then there's the group I Am A Witch, as opposed by Sour Pennies.
Yes. All right.
All right.
Fantastic.
Then your name is Sour Pennies, and you are a witch.
How old this witch?
This witch is between 26 and 30.
Oh, okay, well, that's not a reach.
All right, let me just...
You think you play it?
All right.
Yeah, I think I could do that particular voice.
Yeah, I think I could do that particular voice.
Okay.
About two weeks ago, I performed a ritual that was a mix of a spell for beauty and shapeshifting.
Or rather, I borrowed ideas from each to make a ritual that was more closely aligned with my needs. I had to take a flower
and place it on the surface of some water in a cup,
flanked by-
Is this like a class project?
Flanked by candles.
This forms the major physical component of
the beauty spell.
Water, flower, cup.
My spin on this part was to choose the dried flower
that always looked vaguely like a pouch to me
because I could attach it more readily to my genitalia
and therefore my body.
Oh, that is part of your body, yep since And since desire
is a huge component of beauty
for me, that
was a good move.
Nice.
The other part was the mental and
oral part. I asked
for Lilith's magic
and that
I asked for Lilith's magic and that let's pronounce McGick I asked
for Lilith's McGick
and that of my ancestors
to be imbued
into the process of creating beauty
and coursing it
through me the beauty
I invoked was a connection
to my body and my
desires to see beauty
in myself and the world and to use that
as a streamline between the two to make a seamless connection between my body and the world.
So I thought-
You can start off with a coarse beauty, but you eventually want to move into a fine grain beauty
to really just like get into a nice luster.
So I thought about my body and the things I find beautiful
in the world, a desire
and sexual energy, and wouldn't you
know it?
Wouldn't you know it? I managed
to get myself into
a meditative trance.
Oh, okay. Yep. Ain't it always
the way?
This is where shit got real.
And where the shape
shifting component came
in. I
realized
I had a lot of
good vibes going through me and I was
feeling it
physically. So I started to
envision embodying
myself with Lilith's energy
and the beauty being transferred into me.
And I saw my body literally transforming into something else like a succubus image that
I associated with her.
I felt the sensation of wings stretching out of me. Horns piercing out of
my forehead.
And becoming erect
and my fangs becoming
more intense and my body becoming
crystallized.
The horns pierced out of your forehead, but they
started flaccid?
Good flaccid horns piercing out of
your forehead? Yes!
And changing through various colors
and changing shape more generally
to suit the new creature form.
It's the first time since reviving my practice
that I felt wholly absorbed into a ritual
and gotten a lot out of it.
Praise Lilith,
mother of the void.
AF plus.
Lemon, yeah.
What's up? It's time for poetry!
Yay!
So, Adam,
this first poem that we have here,
this is a poem that was posted to the group, I Saw a Bug.
Seven people have seen a bug and want to share their personal stories, including this poet.
My name is Joyful Silence.
And this is my poem.
Hey, little bug.
Stop bugging me.
Little bug buzzes around my screen.
I think it really wants to be seen.
Hey, get your own website, little one.
Go to where the bugs have fun.
This site is for human chats, not a site for little gnats. You better fly away fast.
This site will make you aghast.
Close your compound
eyes so you will
see no lies.
Curl up your feathered
antennae.
Curl up your feathered antennae.
Escape while
you can, little guy.
Sigh.
Hey, sigh uh hey uh frank west uh you got a
you got a poem to uh
share here is it a contradiction i have
yes uh i don't know i don't know you tell me
you tell me what your poem is
contradiction by extant one
how do you think it feels
your love and fascination of contradiction knowing what only i can know
watching you time and again dawn the nightshade lipstick breathing in the aromas of life dedicated
to defense mechanism honed to near perfection protecting you from darkness preparing you for the darkest of nights
yes our days are filled with such majesty
but that has never and will never
be the die that truly binds
you are the living sacrifice to something else
something that binds you without rope or chain
love or hate irrelevant
there is no defense
you've always known
at some point your place
is upon the altar.
Naked.
Prepared only to do my bidding.
You can dress it up,
make it easier to rationalize,
find a way for the mind to accept,
but the bottom line is still the bottom
line. Everything.
A contradiction.
In 350 episodes or so, we have yet to read anybody who can spell that altar correctly.
Ever.
Not a one.
Ever once.
Hey, I also have a dark side.
Oh, yeah?
Cool.
That sounds cool. I'm Nightc dark side. Oh, yeah? Cool. That sounds cool.
I'm Nightcrawler.
Awesome.
Awesome.
He puts on the mask no longer.
Trapped, forgets all the sad jumps into the magical land of the strange and weird.
Deranged, no fear, bloody rains and ears, freaks.
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! reigns in ears freaks yeah yeah
yeah surround a
mental clown licking brains
are lost but
never found the mind is
brilliant escape
design and control your own
fate dark and
mysterious unpredictability
and serious
awkward silence gives me a thrilling guidance of defiance.
Fuck science eats your eyelids.
Helicon ate my cell phone.
People say that M&M's gone downhill, but I don't see him, man.
Shit.
So good.
No, he's equally as good as he was.
He's exactly his quality.
This doesn't restart slam poetry.
I don't know what it is.
Tense.
It's real.
I posted this in the group.
I like poetry because I like poetry.
That's cool, man.
I like poetry too, dude.
My name is Fair Futra.
I think.
poetry too, dude. My name's Fair Futra.
I think.
Called whiner we's
howln, o'er mere
in our mountain, and wild
we's the surge on the dark
rolling sea.
When I met Haboot Daybreak
upon a young lassie,
while I skid to the road in the miles
Ty Dundee.
Was that good?
Was that secretly good? I don't know.
It seems like an anecdote.
It might be good.
Like, I can't make fun of it. I don't know how.
There's
so many people. I'm just looking through
this particular community. There's so many people that'm just looking through this particular community there's so many people
that just posted I like poetry
I like poetry
I like poetry
I like poetry
what did we learn from any of this F plus
that I
like poetry
that's nice
did you like this poetry
no
well then you like poetry
yes this proves that this proves out yeah i learned the nerd thigh killer is out there
and he's dropping hints he wants to be caught nerd thighs end lives man yeah yeah like like
nerd thighs crushing people to death is a phenomenon so do you think like there's been there's been uh a
couple of sort of like uh you know sort of zeitgeisty sort of things that the f plus discovered
before they kind of went mainstream and all of them have been awful do you think we're going to
be the first ones to like really break the story of nerds and then and then like five years from
now we're like we knew about nerd thighs
yeah I'm sure it's gonna be a big twitter thing
within two months vice explainer
for nerd thighs
okay
nerd thighs went viral on twitter this week
here's what you need to know
what's a vox piece
alright fantastic
I look forward to you not being able to summarize anything
nerd thighs are strangling men
and we are here for it
12 Disney princesses
I'm reimag imagined as nerd thighs.
I will also pay Frank $20 if you draw that.
Wow. Wow.
This is going to be an expensive episode.
Not for me.
For what it's worth, our first foray
into nerd thighs was episode 327.
Boots Founding.
We had it bookmarked, I guess.
The intern sending you a thing she just drew, Lemon.
Ooh, acceptance!
I might be sending Frank West 20 bucks right now.
Yeah, Frank West.
Yeah, you might be sending your Venmo open.
Something makes me sentimental.
Yay!
Can I share this?
Yes, please.
Frank, what's your PayPal email address?
This is...
I mean, I think
gold on black, intern?
What do you think?
I'm not the print expert.
I mean, it's...
I mean...
What?
I mean, that's, uh... I mean... What? I mean...
I mean, that's pretty perfect.
All right.
That's very strange.
Corn room glasses.
That's all it needs.
Three, that's...
The torso is a thigh
with thighs
and legs coming out of the...
The thighs have legs.
The thighs have thighs.
I forget the deets.
Sorry.
The thighs have it.
I can make adjustments.
Yeah, no, no.
It's like I will put that on a shirt.
Our website is always
chfpl.us
forums ball pit
and
how do I
how do I play
boots? I want to play
I want to play a game.
How fun do you want the game to be?
Well, not like
really fun.
You don't want to go to extremelyfun.com?
No.
But also, I don't want the game.
I want to play a game, but I don't want the game to be
unfun. That doesn't sound good.
Okay, let's...
So, kinda.fun is a website.
And it's kind of fun.
Alright, great.
Bye.
Bye.
Hey, Boots.
Boots, just so we have it recorded at some point,
you're looking at that list, right? I want to share 10 things about me.
Yeah, yeah.
Can you just read number six for me? Sure, yeah, I'll read number six.
I love wearing flowers in my fur. They make me feel pretty.
Thank you.
I like to talk to other guinea piggies around the world.
I like to talk to other guinea piggies around the world.
I watched its monitoring for play guinea piggy magazine in the 1980s.
I'm not very proud of that.
I don't read it for the articles.
I just chew it up to make a nest.
Quay guinea piggy.
That's very bad.
I love to eat carrots.