The F Plus - 351: Hail Britannica
Episode Date: March 26, 2021The Fake Countries Wikia is a place where people can catalog countries that are not real, have never been real, and have never appeared in any piece of fiction or writing before this wiki. As an ...excercise it's not the most fruitful, and we intended to read about a whole bunch of different countries, but pretty quickly we found our home. This week, The F Plus meets The Alley People.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
No countries from movies, TV, or other fiction.
Make up your own.
Your page will be deleted if it isn't original.
Number two is a yellow rule.
No plagiarism.
If you are accused of plagiarism, you will get a message asking you to explain.
If you find out you did plagiarize, you get banned for 60 days.
What if plagiarism is legal in your country?
Yeah, free as a teal rule. Vandalism is legal in your country? Yeah. Free as a teal, fool.
Vandalism is not allowed. The consequence is a ban for six months.
Won't you believe it? It's just my luck.
Won't you believe it? It's just my luck.
Won't you believe it? It's just my luck.
Won't you believe it? It's just my luck.
No recess. All right, class, please take your seats.
You all settle down.
We can get done with this early and we can all go home.
It's the F plus, of course, terrible things.
Read with enthusiasm. Let's do a roll call.
Boots, rain gear.
Popular media and the Amiga network includes
anything on the internet,
online shows, free
Amiga streaming services like
Amiga Now and 2,
and cable networks are illegal.
Bunny bread. In Darksylvania,
marijuana is legal for medical and recreational
use. Cocaine, crack, bliss,
and other drugs are illegal.
Eye dosing is not illegal, but isn't recommended because it is stupid.
Frank West.
Sincus was an ancient civilization that would come back 3,520 years later
to conquer the world as Rome.
Thank you, Mr. Games.
Poor Tex.
Animal Land, officially the commonwealth of Cat Land and Dog World, is a country in the Atlantic Ocean.
It is the merger of the countries Cat Land and Dog World.
Zarla.
The Prime Minister is Mr. No Drugs.
The Chairman of the Senate is No Man Harassment.
The Speaker of the National Assembly is Mighty Eagle the Sixth.
And the Chief Justice is Homework Lord.
And Lemon.
This is the Federal Republic
of Sean. It's the second
or third largest country in
the world. The capital and largest
city is called Sean Gaffia.
See also the
Sean Wiki, a wikia for
a country about Sean. No recess No recess
No recess
No recess
No recess
No recess
Hey, F-Plus.
Hey.
Hi.
Hello, hello.
Hey, are all of you feeling worldly?
No, I've been stuck in here for over a year.
What are you?
I feel like big and round.
Like spinning.
It's more globular than worldly, but yeah.
I feel like a globalist.
A globalist.
That's also good Well, you know, this is at the time of recording
Early March of 2021
And I don't know about you
But I'm feeling very well traveled
The upstairs of my house
Oh, tell me all about it though
Come on now
Yep, the downstairs of my house
Oh yeah, what about that one? It's pretty much the same All of the travel plans I've made though. Come on now. Yep, the downstairs of my house. Uh-huh.
Yep.
Oh, yeah?
What about that one?
It's pretty much the same.
All of the travel plans I've made in the past year have gone off without a hitch.
That's nice.
You're at 100% success rate and also 0% success rate simultaneously. Wow, you're a pessimist.
You're a mathematical quandary.
I'm going to point you to a website introduced to me very recently by The Lizard.
This is another document given to us by The Lizard.
And we're going to be going to fandom.com, previously wikia.com.
Yeah, exactly.
Fandom.com, of course, a place for a whole bunch of different sort of fan communities.
For example, The Simpsons and Star Wars and movies that Achilles Heeles has not been in.
Lots of good fandoms out there.
But this one is the Fake Countries Wikia.
I'm a big fan of Fake Countries.
That is the fandom I belong to.
Finally, the day has come.
So there are 646
articles with 10,000
967 edits in the
Fake Countries Wikia.
This is a wiki where you can make whatever
nation you want. This wiki
is not for nations
from movies, TV, or video games.
These countries are completely new
ideas. Let's underscore that.
These countries are completely
new ideas. Are we going to design our own country
Sona? Alright, good.
Well, if they say they're individual,
they have to be. There's no way to get around that.
Yeah, so
for example, the country
of the month right now is
Freyand. Officially the month right now is Frand.
Officially the royal kingdom of Frand.
Frand.
Oh, yeah.
No, you're right.
It's called Frand.
It's known for its natural beauty.
Another country that's featured on this website right now is the Hong Kong Emporium.
Which I guess is like, Hong Kong is not recognized by the United States as a
sovereign nation, but we recognize its
gift shop, perhaps?
Get everything you want at the Hong Kong Emporium.
There is Animal Land.
Hong Kong Emporium, the number one
super thing.
So we're going to just learn some stuff
about these fake countries, and that's going to make
us feel better about our lives.
Let's start things off here. Portex,
will you tell me a little bit about the Empire
of
Sevardoria?
Sevardoria?
The Kingdom of Sevardoria
is a massive, safe nation
ruled by
Karenik Hairspray?
Is that a company? What's hispray? Is that a company?
What's his favorite movie?
Is that the company?
Is that like, with an even hand and remarkable for its enforced nudity.
I'm sorry, get those sunglasses off, man.
Well, I put them over my penis, it's funny.
Restrictive gun laws
and spontaneously combusting cars.
Yep.
It is remarkable for its combusting cars.
Welcome to Bruckheimerville.
The hardworking, devout population
of 1.106 billion
Sevadorians
are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative
in the sense that they tend to believe
most things should be outlawed.
Like clothes.
Like clothes.
And cars that run safely.
And cars, yeah. And non-blowing up cars.
Yeah, just most things, you know, key events,
objects, that sort of thing.
People who have good jobs and work
quietly at them are lauded.
Others are viewed with suspicion.
Okay.
A large moralistic government prioritizes spirituality with welfare, law and order.
That's capitalized, so the TV show.
And defense.
Also on the agenda.
With international aid and industry are ignored.
A whole bit.
Just as a concept?
What do you make there? Uh, nothing.
We make no debate.
All their cars explode.
Yeah, I guess it's
easy to ignore industry when everyone's
walking around naked, I guess.
That's true.
It meets
to discuss matters of state in
the capital city of Severodoria.
Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.2%.
So your country's very poor.
No industry, man.
And the cars explode.
Yeah.
I mean, all of the money goes into the cars.
Into making them explode.
They cannot afford clothes.
But when they explode, it's a really beautiful explosion.
That's their Independence Day celebration is they launch the cars into the sky.
If you're walking on the street and a car explodes, everybody stops and salutes.
Thank you for your service.
Greatest country on Earth.
The strong and severed orion economy okay worth 76.1 trillion sever bills a year
yeah a year it is worth that the economy is worth that a year is broadly diversified
and led by the tourism industry with major seems like a cool place to go
go to severed orion lots of naked people blowing up the naked people in these led by the tourism industry. Seems like a cool place to go. Go to Semidoria and see the cars explode.
Lots of naked people blowing up.
The naked people and the exploding cars.
Okay, everybody off the tour bus, quickly.
Gotta get a fresh one, hang on.
With major contributions from book publishing,
furniture restoration, and arms manufacturing.
All the essential
for life.
Wait, guns are outlawed?
Yeah, most things should be outlawed,
but lots of people want to publish books there.
I guess they're going to manufacture the bombs in the cars.
It's like,
wasn't there
Quebec town of asbestos
that mined asbestos even though
it was illegal to use asbestos? Yeah, no. For even though it was illegal to use asbestos?
Yeah, no.
Yeah, for several
years it was illegal
to use asbestos in
Canada, but boy did
they sure mine it in
asbestos Quebec.
I don't want to
change the name.
It's on all our
signs.
That's a whole hassle.
You got to get a new
sign.
They have, like a
couple years ago,
they changed the
name of the town.
Oh, what's it
called now?
To what?
Uranium?
Black lung?
They just called it Cancer now.
Let's call it something nice.
That was a good name.
That should go in the template.
Something nice.
Something French sounding and nice.
Cheval.
Average income is $208,816 Sevar bills, with the richest citizens earning 7.2 times as much as the poorest.
All right, well, let me do your math, because you actually gave me population, and then you gave me your economy, so I'm sure this will all work out.
That's okay.
The largest city is called Elizabeth. Does that help you?
Yeah.
I want to learn more about Servidoria.
The legislature is also done by
Karen E. Kairspray, who's the ruler, and also
hiring more. I hope that helps.
The new
national mascot has to be wheeled
onto the field of play.
What?
That's important.
It's a blobfish.
The national mascot, yeah, the mascot is dead.
Raises some questions.
The government is giving peace a chance.
Savannah Imperia is considered to be the most risque TV program in Severdoria.
And Karen E. Kairspray has just been
declared ruler of Severdoria in an
international press conference.
So good for the company or the person
or who or what that is.
Is it the election system?
Was she wearing clothes during that conference?
It gets declared in a press conference
just internationally.
Just wait for somebody else to say it.
I guess I'm ruling now. There's a somebody else to say it. I'm like, well, I guess I'm ruling now.
There's a PowerPoint presentation
that named it.
Crime,
especially youth-related...
That's my
least favorite kind.
Youth-related crime is totally unknown
despite the fact that
it is difficult to make it through a day
without breaking one of the country's many laws.
However, crime is currently at a low.
Great. Thank you.
At a low, yeah.
And also most importantly,
Severdoria's national animal is the red fox.
You big dummy!
The red fox, not simply a red fox.
Yeah, hell no.
Except no imitations.
Portex, on the actual page for
Severdoria, there's a picture
of the country.
I don't suppose you could describe what the country looks like?
So,
it's Italy.
And
Sicily and Spain.
And Sicily and Spain.
And we've got parts of, like,
France.
Great, great, great.
That sounds cool.
This next one, one of the only people to have a sports team recognized at the fake sports team's wiki.
Frank West, can you tell me about Dahlia Shwo?
Dahlia Shwo? Shwo? Dahlia Shwo.
Well, first, I gotta tell you,
these countries exist in the same universe.
Zenua.
It's the wiki cinematic.
Oh, boy.
The Cesara Island.
Standore.
Britannica and Nirvana.
What?
Okay.
That's one place.
Priostav City,
Fadoria,
and Dormaloha.
So I would
make a country's name
city? Like Priostav
City is the name of a country, correct? Yes. I think so. Okay.
It's like Singapore.
Dalyashuo.
Lithuanian pronunciation...
Nope.
But try it in Creole. Try it.
Officially, the United States
of Dalyashuo
is a country in Antarctica.
Oh.
Okay.
So it's their little penguins. Oh. Oh. Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah. Oh, so it's their little penguins.
Oh.
Adorable.
It was a Lithuanian colony between 1531 and 1592.
It's capital is.
Yes.
You know, Lithuania, very famously a colonist.
Invaded Antarctica.
Yeah, exactly.
In between getting invaded by every other country in their region.
They wanted a taste of it.
Yeah.
I heard they got snow down there.
I'm like, over here.
Hell yeah.
Its official language is Lithuanian, one of two major Baltic languages, along with Latvian.
It is the largest Lithuanian-speaking nation.
The Estuary has around 95 million people.
It is known for being very nice to their indigenous people.
The penguins.
Sa'at are the most common indigenous group. Sa'at take up about 1.3 of the white people in Dalyashwa,
which means that they were, I guess,
not always known for being very nice to their indigenous people.
How unusual.
Making the number
about 540,000.
The Sat speak their own language
called Sat Creole. It is recognized
as a national language and is often taught in schools
starting at age 11. And of course
they're one of the big six in the United Nations Security
Council, so I don't know why I'm telling you all this.
How did a
Lithuanian colony get the
Creole language? How did that happen? A Lithuanian colony get the Creole language?
A Lithuanian colony in Antarctica.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Trivia.
It uses the Type L plug outlet.
Oh, great.
Here's what I'm thinking.
I'm thinking penguins just know everything about the entire world telepathically.
So they just borrow bits and pieces from everywhere else?
Yeah. Oh, well, good news!
The national animal is the penguin.
Right. And the national
sport is ice hockey, and the anthem
Dasuo Irakumo is the only
rap song to be a national.
Oh, nice! I do like that.
Awesome.
I wish there was a recording of it.
Do penguins do the rapping?
Do you have any allies there, Dalia Suo?
The allies are Canada, the United States, Lithuania, United Kingdom, India, Brazil, and Greenland, which is a nation in this universe.
You can't be allied with your sovereign.
Well, maybe you can.
Some of us get along.
On the timeline, it says they bought Greenland.
Oh.
They bought it?
Yep. 1856
buys Greenland.
There's a whole history on the page.
There's a lot of history. There also is some laws.
Can you tell me about the laws of Dalish oil?
I would love to tell you about the laws.
So the laws.
Driving. You can start your driver's ed at 12 12 get your permit at 13 and a license at 14 driving age is so low because there's
a huge lack of public transport and stores and restaurants are usually spread across the town
that makes sense actually okay got it yep and uh drinking drugs and smoking the drinking age
dalia is 17 for beer and wine 18 for spirits and liquors many drugs are illegal but marijuana is legal but it's also very rare
they just don't care for it oh man every time i try to get my drug loot drops
i really hope the marijuana comes out of it it's appropriate i guess it'd be hard to grow
yeah the thing about being
in Antarctica
is you're just like
so content all the time
with where you are
and what it's like
but
there's nothing
to mellow out about
you've got so much
to look at
you know
I mean you never
get bored
hey Frank
I'll take a look
at this timeline
can you tell me
like everything
of note that happened
let's say like
in the last
121 years?
Hundred and...
Dali Oshua.
Let's say from the 1900s to the 2000s.
Yeah, sure.
So in World War I, they were neutral.
Okay.
But in World War II, they were neutral.
1969, they joined the United Nations Council.
I guess it seems fine.
Whatever you guys want to do.
I want to make friends.
I think this might be penguins.
That's why they're neutral.
Yeah, we're dressed for it.
They could smoke weed, but they don't.
They didn't give a shit about either World War.
There's a lot of them.
1991 was the first moon landing outside the u.s which i'm gonna say all moon landings are outside the u.s
really misunderstanding the moon no we planted a flag there it's ours now um in 1999 they legalized
gay marriage although it was never illegal. See? They're penguins!
So many gay penguins! Oh my god, you're right!
This actually, oh.
I wasn't buying it until now, yeah.
In 2000,
they had a Greenland independence referendum and they voted 67.2%
yes on it, so Greenland became an independent country.
Woo!
And then, in 2001,
the Centrist party was created
they're neutral
in everything but they need to create a centrist party
yeah
why did that take so long
well because
the shrug party and the whatever party
were at each other's throats
they asked a bunch of people
please you have to head this centrist organization
and they're like I mean I guess
they bought Greenland
and then they just voted to give
it up.
I think Greenland did their own
referendums.
They don't want to be ruled by penguins anymore.
In 2011, a new
version of the National Anthem,
Dali Suo Irakumo,
in Sat Creole was written and became official in one year.
Oh, and in 2017, is no longer a neutral country.
What the fuck?
2017?
The penguins have knives now, I guess.
This is an exciting time for this country.
What's the most recent thing that's happened here?
In 2019, with the launch of Leto Salas, TV became a very popular thing.
Oh, TV.
I see.
Frank West, you were telling me about the centrist party that was created.
So now there must be like a list of political parties, right?
Yes.
Yes, of course.
Sorry, I've just overcome with emotion at how much i love these
uh there's the liberal party there's the centrist party and these the conservative penguin party
that's what the conservative radio sounds like
abortion abortion such a cute mascot
it's about states rights
her website's called the daily
posted my penguin news
bench a penguin just wiggling his head around
pretty much the same thing
just human counterpart
is Ben Shapiro actually a penguin?
no
penguins are cute
so
Bunny Bread
I think I want you to tell me
and it's a little long
but you know what?
Here we go.
We were looking earlier at this
nation, sort of two together.
It's the Britannica and Nirvana nations.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you tell me anything about them?
Because I'm a little confused and I would love to learn more.
That's the country in Ultima, isn't it?
Let me look them up and refresh my memory.
It's where I'm from originally, but...
You're from the Britannica side or the Nirvana side?
I'm actually...
Oh, well, my mother's from Britannica, and my father's from Nirvana.
So it's been complex being from a mixed household.
It's rough.
I don't know what sports team to... Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. It's been... being from a mixed household. It's rough. I don't know what sports team to root for.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, God.
It's been...
Thanksgiving is hell.
All right.
Which is something that they celebrate in both countries.
Thanksgiving.
American Thanksgiving Day.
American Thanksgiving.
No, no.
It's Canadian Thanksgiving on one side.
Oh, two Thanksgivings.
Double the awkward.
It's the greatest.
Oh, shit.
They don't recognize the other one.
All right.
Britannica and Nirvana.
Hold up!
You may wonder why there are two universe templates.
Britannica and Nirvana is part of two universes.
The first one is the Britonite Torrid universe.
And the second one is the Dahlia Zeonun
Zeunion universe.
So just please try to keep up.
So the countries live betwixt
dimensions?
Yeah. There's certain doorways you can walk
through. Again, I fucked this up for about the first 10 years
walking between mom and pop place.
Universe.
I would mess that up and then I'd end up in
the upside down verse.
This fake country also happens to live
within the golden compass universe
I heard that when you
sort of move from one universe to the next
you should yawn so that you can kind of clear
your ears
and your soul, your soul escapes your body
just whatever you do, do not look out the airplane window
no
because there's gremlins out there
it's bad alright do not look out the airplane window. No. Because there's gremlins out there.
It's bad.
All right.
As I was saying,
Britannica,
Nirvana,
officially the United Republic of Britannica,
Nirvana,
and its provinces is a country in the very middle of the Pacific,
just right above the equator.
It was a territory
claimed by several countries in Europe.
Two of them,
Brittany and Ragusa,
don't exist today.
A BFF country, Brittany.
They just disappeared.
They walked through the wrong doors.
It has four capitals named Shetir.
Beijing, of course, in China.
One of its capitals is in China?
Yes, of course.
So China does exist in multiple universes?
Is China just like lending it out?
I'm trying to read ahead.
Okay, so anyways, we know about Beijing, right?
Okay, and then there's Broham sighting.
And, uh...
And Oklahoma.
Wait, there's no clove.
It's the largest city.
Oh, it's just Oklahoma.
I mean, blank, Oklahoma. Its largest city is... Oh, it's just Klahoma. Klahoma.
Blank Klahoma.
Klahoma.
Out of the four capitals, its largest city is Klahoma, somehow beating Beijing back in China.
The largest city in the world!
That's not actually Beijing.
The Beijing that's in China.
The name of the town is Beijing, parentheses in China. Oh, parentheses in China.
Just like a shed with a sign on it.
Yeah.
It's just Bob.
He runs a lawnmower
repair place out of there
and that's it.
That's the only...
So his largest city
is Clawhoma,
which possesses
a whole two people
to refrigerate
and repair things.
The largest city
in the world
and in the province
of New shia
the official language is
novana ease
i'm sorry
some natives speak
nahasa pima
pepetalon
so that is a pooh's last name
nahasa pima
petalon
plagiarism can we report report this? I'm gonna report
this. We do not have to stop this.
No, maybe the Simpsons
ripped this guy off. Oh, that's, yeah.
Anyways, English and Chinese are
secondary languages, mainly because
Britannica and Nirvana own Beijing.
Do they? Sorry, Frank West,
you're dumb.
And the new capitals of China
Are now Wuhan and Shanghai
Britannica and Nirvana
Is the only country that speaks
That word that we all said before
As an official language
There are many languages in Britannica and Nirvana
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
This is great, this is great
I'm excited, I'm excited
But I would just love to learn a little bit of trivia
about your nation.
Oh, yes. I'm glad you asked.
This is what makes it fun. This is what makes it come to life.
This is when I
hit Control-F.
Oh, wow. There's an entire page on the
Hasebima Pedalon.
And we can learn common adjectives.
So, like,
Zang means dumb dumb but den means foolish
so the first
noun you learn is lizard
wait wait
what's the word for why
oh for
yeah there's also for nirvana
obviously yeah
I mean so every language is going to have some sort of
version of why and the Hatsupima Petalon
it's
wami kalashalash-Le-Dra-Sir-Pet-I-N-I-A.
I mean, I've only got one question.
Wami-Kalash-Le-Dra-Sir-Pet-I-N-I-A.
Question mark.
Anyways, anyways, the national anthem is the only grunge rock song to be an anthem.
You didn't know that, did you?
The national animal is the majestic star-nosed mole.
Nice.
Can you think of a more beautiful animal to represent your people?
The national sport is Quidditch, which of course is not...
No, I don't like it anymore.
No, it is not the copyrighted stupid nerd thing.
I have to report extra reporting.
No, it's something entirely different.
Called Quidditch.
It's a very butch sport about butch.
The National Tree is Acacia Planefrons, the Umbrella Thorn.
And what?
I'm sorry.
I just, I, look, we need to.
Are you finding something ridiculous about this?
We need to talk about this.
Can you just tell me, can you give me the breakdown of the ethnic groups of the country?
I don't know.
Scared of this.
Oh, thank you for bringing racial
science into this, Boots. Thank you.
I just need to know that, understand
that this country is a proper mixing pot,
melting pot. Mixing pot?
It's a mixing pot. There's so many ingredients.
Mickey and cake. Yum yum.
I'm sorry. Okay, okay.
Since Boots had to get all, you know, racist about this, let's go with...
Really, it's made up of 99% pure Britonite.
With a half percentage of American, a quarter percentage of Brit,
0.125% of Toradish, and just a smidgen, a sous-cent of other.
Okay, so 99.25% British, 0.5% American.
So that must mean that your primary...
How dare you group the Brits and the Brit Knights together as British.
You're right, you're right.
You're right.
But yeah, so with that kind of population, we would have to assume that the primary
religion would, of course,
be... Hindu, yes, of course.
88%
Hindu, with 6.2%
Jewish, 4.2% Christian,
less than a percentage
of Muslim, a half percent
Buddhist, 0.1%
atheist, and there's a little bit of
a word that I can't pronounce. Let's say
it's Ah-deeb.
Then there's, let's see,
half a percentage of Zoroastrian, of course.
And then there's other shit.
Okay, so back to
the trivia, though. Sort of the
national food.
Wait, wait, wait. What kind of outlet
do they use?
Okay, of course, outlet before food.
And never sicker.
I'm planning a trip.
I need to know where to drop it.
Of course you are.
And Boots, you'll be happy to know that it uses a type O outlet.
So it's a universal outlet, I believe.
It's a new type of outlet.
It's a new type of outlet shaped with an O with two dots in it.
It's a happy face.
Yeah, a type O is not an existing type of outlet. with an O with two dots in it. It's a happy face.
Yeah, a type O is not an existing type of outlet.
Oh, but it will be.
No, sorry, it's the tie outlet.
Apparently you haven't seen my type O negative outlet.
There it is.
My girlfriend's girlfriend's outlet.
Anyway, so once you've plugged in your outlet and you've got your microwave sitting there,
you'll be happy to reheat your
whatever the fuck.
But we call stuff pepper.
Okay, okay.
The national drink, however, is...
Oh, wait for this exotic taste temptation.
Coffee!
What's the national alcohol of...
The national cocktail is
Dr. Pepper and bourbon whiskey.
Also known as
this is the shit we have left.
First of all, that's super gross.
Secondly, that's not actually the national cocktail.
That's actually the national alcohol.
Oh, the national alcohol.
I'm sorry.
They actually sell Dr. Pepper and bourbon whiskey
in the liquor store.
They sell that and only that.
Also, the country has the longest call code ever,
being a massive 89 letters at maximum,
but the average is 44 digits.
I don't know.
Oh, did I mention with the ethnic makeup earlier,
the 99% of the 99% of Britonites, they're all black.
Yes, I didn't think you knew that.
And now when you think of a 99% black population, you think of Grunge Rock and Quidditch.
That is true.
And typo negative.
I remember Bush really had a really strong
black following.
Okay, so then
there's some laws.
Some weird laws, though.
Some weird laws?
Wait a second, weird?
Not in my Britannica!
Can I get, I don't know, like 36 or so
weird laws?
Of course. One, you cannot get, I don't know, like 36 or so weird laws? Of course.
One, you cannot ride a bike through a swimming pool.
Two, you cannot only have a maximum of 25 children.
Three, Woody the Pooh is said to be half naked, so he is banned from being on playgrounds.
Four, there has to be at least one tree every 10 square kilometers.
Five, kissing or making out in a vehicle is banned.
Six, you are not allowed to die, be sick, or cough-sneeze in the National Congress House.
No dying.
Way to be immortal.
7. You cannot have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub past 7pm.
You cannot have dirt on the window of your car.
Even bird droppings aren't allowed on cars.
That's sad.
That's part of the law.
That's sad. Yeah, that's sad. That's part of the law. That's sad.
Yeah, that's sad. That is written in the law, yes.
Nine, you cannot
break a leg inside of a crack house. Outside,
of course, is fine and encouraged.
Ten, one out of 150 songs
played on the radio must be sung by a Britonite
or Nirvana-ese person.
Britcon. Yes.
Eleven, don't sing loudly in between 2am
all the way
to 5.30am. From there on out,
it's hell. 12. If someone
knocks on your door to use the toilet, you have
to let them in. You're like vampires
with those toilets.
You are not allowed to buy more
than 1,000 things on Amazon
or eBay.
Over a lifetime?
Per day, yes. In Aquila and Shia Isles, you can mix it up like in over a lifetime or like yeah per day
yes
in Aquila
and Shia Isles
you can get arrested
and put in jail
for several months
if you make ugly faces
to a dog
15
it is illegal to forget
your spouse's birthday
you can find hundreds of dollars
or Shang Shias
if you do
16
no licking doorknobs
duh
17
no eating pasta
outside on a porch
only wearing underpants.
I don't know why, but yes, it's true.
Frank is actually the reason all these laws were created.
Most, yes.
He never licked a doorknob.
I'm on a worldwide doorknob-licking tour.
You are not allowed to buy sweets
for a person who isn't wearing a shirt.
Good rule.
I would co-sign that bill.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
The practice of reaching Nirvana in Buddhism
or Moksha in Hinduism and Jainism
must be done in a park.
You are banned from buying sweets from
Johannes and Hannah's sweet shop
if you are 18 or below.
Their sweets are way too spicy, sour,
or salty to eat.
You're not the boss of me.
This one store was like, okay, not the boss of me this one
this one store
was like okay
we need a law for this one
and all the lawmakers
were like oh yeah
no they really do
yeah of course
I was hoping
so these are
these are all really fun
sort of light-hearted laws
that are really fun
keep going
keep going
I just like all these fun
light-hearted laws
okay alright
22
the official inquisitorial squad can look at your items and personal belongings.
They can frisk you and interview you at any time.
23.
This is illegal, however.
We have the Gestapo in our country.
For anyone.
Anyone.
Including the Inquisitorial Squad to check, invade, or disrupt your electronic device.
We have an ineffective Gestapo.
Yes.
Making out in public is legal, but you must both wear a bracelet or anklets.
Margaret.
We have to match.
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
Duh.
Just of course.
It's illegal to steal $1,000 worth of grease.
$900 is okay.
Yes, of course.
In Shia, it's illegal to sing off-key.
Bingo games cannot last more than five hours,
and alcohol is banned from bingo games unless set apart.
Okay, how do you put just ban on bingo then?
Oh, I guess churches.
Okay, never mind.
Sorry.
Yes.
Restaurants must use big fonts,
and a small font can land you in jail.
How big is big font?
How small is small font?
I need a brand guide for this, please.
It's like pornography.
We know it when we see it.
Is the sign maker responsible?
Or the restaurant owner?
This.
Wait, wait, wait.
This one's the most important.
You are forced to have a birthday party
and not just chill in with your family or friends
if you are 0 to 21
and is born on February 15th
because that was the day that the largest
city currently, Holland, was designed
and made in place of Perplexus.
Thank you. You have to have a birthday party and you
have to invite me, Dennis.
Yeah, Dennis.
31.
Trick-or-treating is illegal if
past midnight. 32. It is illegal.
It is illegal
to carry an ice cream cone
in your back pocket
during Wednesday.
33, wait,
we already covered
the donkey's in the video.
Look, I didn't tell us about it.
It's important.
Yes.
Somebody is causing trouble.
This really pissed us off
one night.
Again, it was Frank.
34, you cannot swear
on Facebook Messenger,
of course.
And 35,
if there is only one candidate
in an election,
then there must be an actor to deliberately
lose. That's already how it works.
We're the Democrats.
There we go.
The speeding fine is based on your
wealthiness. So instead of getting
$300 if you're a millionaire,
it can become $3,000 or even
$300,000 depending on how
high they go.
And those are all
the laws of the land.
That's it.
That's awesome.
That's super cool. Bunny Bird, you're looking at the doc,
right? So the doc
that the lizard gave us has some pages
that are specifically related to Britannica
and Nirvana. For example, gave us has some pages that are specifically related to Britannica and Nirvana.
For example, the document has some stuff
on Hasapim and Padawan.
And that's cool.
But I was going to go specifically down
to the
Red House.
Red House.
While you're looking for that,
there's a list of the political parties.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just saw what Boots saw. There's a list of the political parties. Yeah, I just saw what Boots saw.
There's a list of the political parties.
And there's the Libertarian Party, the New Democratic Party, which is... The Federalist Party, the Conservative Party, the Greens Party, the Independent Party,
the Unitarian Universalist Party, the Monarchist Party, the Marxist Party,
and the Bloc Québécois.
We want Quebec to be its
own country, just so you know.
We would prefer that
those guys in your country were their own
country. So, write that
down, if you wouldn't mind.
Random Island
is very concerned about this.
Yeah, so, you know,
I know that, you know, obviously, Britannica and Nirvana, none of us are – we know that there's a band called Nirvana.
Who is that?
The top most common death is by syphilis.
Just list that on there.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
My bad.
Oh, so they haven't discovered penicillin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The entire country has descended from alcohol.
Well, we did.
I just had a real vicious case of it one year.
The less said, the better.
If you'll tell me, because I've heard that Nirvana actually toured to this country.
They named themselves after them.
Of course they did.
The Nirvana Mega Concert Tour was a concert tour performed by the band Nirvana.
It was the longest Nirvana concert tour ever.
Each city had a 7.5 hour concert, and the band played in 60 cities in Europe, North America, and of course, Britannica and Nirvana.
Oddly, the tour was just a few days before Kurt Cobain died of suicide.
Oh, I hadn't heard.
I think they worked him to death.
That's terrible.
Of course, who wouldn't kill themselves? i'm done with this tour damn there's a poster that is glued and painted with shellac on the wall of the red house
in honor of kurt cobain plus kurt street was added the red house is the official residence
and workplace of the president of britannica and Navarre. It is located
at 13 Presidential Street,
Chattier, Nintendo
50025.
Hey, buddy, but I've pasted a picture of the Red House
into chat. Would you describe it for me?
Oh, I would love to!
What the fuck?
Okay, so
anyways, the Red House, if I can summon my inner poet, is the White House, but colored red.
And in the photo, you can see the Washington Monument behind it.
Yes.
No, no, no, no.
That's the Kurt Novoselic's penis.
He is always laying down and he always has that erection it is always that pointy
so so obviously uh so this this country here this uh this britannica and uh nirvana uh obviously one
of those two things uh is a band nirvana uh but uh but is frank west is there another band called
britannica yeah obviously there's another band called Britannica
as you can see right here, this picture of
five teens holding knives
Look very hardcore
Five white teen nerds
And so
Britannica, stylized
exclamation point
is a
Britannic slash Emirati rock band
formed in Dubai in
1995.
The band has
consisted of
Nasa Hiroshima,
Japanona
Uyat Shisha,
Utalia Liwezao,
and Agula Maishaie and of course another violinist used who died tragically in a car crash in 2000 um was dave mustang yeah uh okay harana and fuck me harana miu uh
rest his soul yeah no there's i just so they're all white people
yes who lived in the uae and have japanese names
that old chestnut.
And they mostly do covers. They're mostly
popular for their covers. You know, they covered
Intergalactic. They covered Smells Like Teen Spirit.
They covered regretting
what I said to you when you called me at 11
o'clock on a Friday morning to tell me that 1 o'clock
Friday afternoon you're going to leave your office, go downstairs
helicaptic, go out to an airport and catch a plane to go
skiing in the Alps for two weeks. Not that I wanted to go with
you. I wasn't able to leave town. I'm not a very good skier.
I couldn't expect you to pay my way, but after going out with you
for three years, I don't like surprises.
Solid cover. Really good work.
I like the original better.
And of course, their original song,
Yo.
Oh, that's about
the app.
I also like some song.
Botanica Nirvana is in the midst of dealing with its own pandemic.
Are they?
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Is it okay?
Yeah, no, it's a...
Beyond just COVID?
No, it's a spread of the novel insomniac rhinovirus disease, 2020.
Oh, what the shit, man?
I thought we got rid of it.
Nervid 22.
It causes malaise and somnia, dizziness,
impaired performance, behavior problems, fatigue,
poor concentration, symptoms of diseases like influenza,
chronic pain, poor concentration, nausea.
That's awesome.
You know, since we've talked a little bit about Britannica,
the band, Frank, I can't let you go without hearing
that fucking awesome chorus for Britannica's song, Some Song Out of Nowhere.
Yeah, do it, do it, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
I love that one.
You want just the chorus?
I think so, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
Just a couple lonely cheeks waiting for love to take.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. It's like the first time I heard it. just a couple lonely cheeks waiting for love to take. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh my god.
It's like the first time I heard it.
This is as good as the first time, yeah.
And before that decision, I worked
it out. The decision I would give
my love. Oh yeah, boy, you know
that I love you. Oh yeah,
boy, you know that I love you.
Yeah.
Damn.
Encore. You know that I love you. Damn. Yeah.
Damn.
Encore.
You know, it still hits.
Even though the band formed in the Burj Khalifa in Dubai.
Okay.
Expert 21 comments on this page just saying,
some of those lyrics are a bit repetitive.
What are you, some kind of ex- Oh, well, yeah.
So you'd think
that we were done with Britannica and Nirvana,
but it turns out we're not, because I was
looking here at the inventions that were
made within the country's borders.
Zarla,
what are some of those
inventions?
Let's see Well, there's the Black Star
It was made in 2000
It uses an obsidian base
and a very specific glass, light, and cube
another star cube
to make a light that is very bright
and can find things like blood, saliva, and other liquids
useful for an investigation
Oh, okay
Cool
And then this list of inventions
Did you add a helpful note?
Let's see.
It says, note, please put the countries in alphabetical order.
Okay.
I guess that's on me.
Okay.
Wait, in the list of inventions,
you need to put the countries in alphabetical order?
Right.
Yeah.
Well, they're made inside this country's border,
but, you know, it doesn't mean we have to let her get to us.
Nirvana and Britannica sound stupid, Boots.
Do you not agree?
See?
Britannica and Nirvana?
That's a good point.
That's majestic.
Alphabetical order in our English alphabet or their alphabet?
How many languages do they speak?
We don't know.
Well, after Black Star.
Still, keep going on these inventions.
I like these inventions.
After Black Star, we have 50 gravity from 2019.
It is low, but almost
full.
Low, but almost full gravity by shrinking
the size of atoms in an organism.
This has led to an explosion, but is still
in use somehow.
The explosion is...
Just gravity as we know it is 100 gravity.
Yeah.
Set grav 0.5. I'm sick of not getting my 100 gravity. Yeah, yeah. Set grav 0.5, yeah.
Sick of not getting my full gravity.
Also, the invention
was just less
gravity in general.
Like, not a thing that makes, but
just less gravity.
That makes you explode also.
Look, we heard there's an obesity epidemic
and this will make you feel better about that shit, so...
It's one way of solving it.
There's door interrogation from 2017.
Where were you, door?
Yeah.
Best interrogation.
Got a naked light bulb.
Best interrogation we've got.
Using one metal iron pressure plate and four iron doors controlled by the plate so that when stood on, the door is closed to lock the person within the doors.
That's just a Minecraft.
That is exactly Minecraft.
Lock the person within the doors, maybe think it smushes them,
but I guess it isn't.
That's where you find another star cube.
There's Britannica Acid from 1993.
It's a super acid that dissolves objects
with oxygen or a form of it
inside. It literally has
organoson, plutonium, radium,
and tenosine in the substance.
Oh, okay.
Literally.
I'm glad we're not talking about figurative physics
and chemistry.
You won't talk about having plutonium in it.
Speaking of fucking Minecraft.
The redstone
is an element
that can pass electricity, heat, power through radiation and conduction.
That's not from Minecraft.
It's not.
What'd you do with that redstone, Bill?
Next they're going to invent a giant room full of candy and stupid hats.
Stuff.
Their main export is whining on Twitter and then leaving Twitter and coming back to Twitter and leaving Twitter again.
It's Britannic Twitter.
Thank you.
There's the Mind Alarm
from 2020. A small
chip that is put in your brain and powered
by a set of wires through redstone,
rojolopecium,
that wakes you up in the morning and is controlled by your
phone. God, wouldn't
that be great? You could just put an alarm by your phone. God, wouldn't that be great?
You could just put an alarm on your phone. Nothing can go wrong with that.
I love it.
I love it.
Like, electricity has to happen through this elaborate mineral,
but you've still got a cell phone.
Also, what if it goes off and you can't turn it off?
Like, what happens?
I hated waking up to the alarm,
but then I implanted a chip that electrocutes
my brain in the morning.
I'm hoping they also
put, like, a giant red siren
on top of your head.
Wake up, wake up, wake up.
Yeah, it actually
just still makes noise.
Then there's a kid
with a net
and a dual shock controller
chasing around.
Gotcha.
net and a dual shock controller chasing around.
Gotcha.
Okay, so in 2020, we
invented the A-Child.
The A-Child.
You invented A-Child. Not the B-Child.
An artificial child that is
made and developed not through mating, but
through a special formula.
What's a special formula?
Help me out here.
I'm writing this down.
Yeah.
They eject sperms and eggs from humans and put it in for eight and a half months in a special testing box made of special glass that represents a mother's womb.
You take the sperm and the egg.
You put it in the womb.
I do not like how nonspecific the word they is in that sentence.
Sperms and the eggs from all them humans.
I answered all the questions that you could possibly have about this process.
I don't understand what the issue here is.
It's more of an art than a science.
Yeah, no, you did.
You're right.
Sperm and egg.
See, okay.
All right.
So next up we have the Motaba virus in 1996.
Okay.
Good invention.
Proudly made.
A disease named after the virus in the 1995 movie Outbreak.
It was spread through a white-headed capuchin monkey like an outbreak.
It was an accident. Oh, okay. It was spread through a white-headed capuchin monkey, like an outbreak. It was
an accident. Oh, okay.
It was an accidental discovery,
and infected four entire towns in the state of
Visafet, Mahal Tuji,
Bir Tawil, Kajikelo, and
Halaib. Doesn't mean you invented
it? We definitely invented it.
Yeah, you invented it.
It's the most... Didn't the monkey
invent it, technically?
The most lethal case of fan fiction ever.
Let's have a virus.
See me.
Do not steal.
Let's see.
You have Plus Gum from 2019.
It's gum that you can chew, and it makes your teeth better and whiter.
You should be into that after all this human growing and low gravity and brain alarms.
And we also made Trident.
The gum is our best seller.
And it's back in style.
Okay, well, after all this high-tech stuff,
really, I want to be wowed with the next one.
The next one is the Fan Cup.
It's the pride of our country.
It came out in 2015. It's a fan that attaches to your cup
and cools your hot drink.
How does it do that, though?
What the fuck does it do?
So in 2015, it was the fan cup,
and then just four years later,
they invent low gravity.
Well, the low gravity keeps exploding.
The fan cup doesn't explode.
You can trust the fan cup.
I love a nice coffee i just
wish it got cold faster they made so much money from the fan cup that they were able to put it
into r&d oh yes they're putting it into the projects they really wanted to do this the fan
cup was just for like the the fans and stuff literally and uh yeah that's pretty much it
that's right you make an indie movie after you make a blockbuster, right? First you get the fan cup, then you get the switch that opens four doors.
Wait, yeah, no, the redstone did predate the fan cup,
so if possibly a fan cup requires some redstone in it.
It's very complicated.
The fan is powered by the redstone.
The fan cup, we've all heard of it, but is it safe for your children?
Okay, so next we have the earthquake machine.
We invented it in 1998.
It's a device that was made originally in China
and remade in BNN
that detected earthquakes from 10,000 kilometers away.
Just like we took Beijing from China, I guess.
We invented it.
It was actually originally made in China.
We got this fan cup, though.
The fan cup is all ours.
That's all us.
Don't even think about it.
That's most of the diameter of the Earth.
Yeah, and it can detect it.
Yeah, it's pretty fucking smart.
Let's see you do that.
It's always going off.
It's so annoying.
You can't sleep.
So next up, we have the Thought Camera from 2020.
Finally. It's a camera that could up we have the Thought Camera from 2020. Finally.
It's a camera that could...
Yeah, the Thought Camera.
It's a camera that could take photos of thoughts
through radiation, heat, electricity.
You definitely want to beam radiation into your head a lot.
So the year before you invented gum,
have you been the camera that steals your thoughts?
One for the consumers, one for science. One for the consumers, one for science.
One for the consumers, one for science.
Well, it was easy because everybody was just thinking about how good the gum was in 2020.
Damn, I wish I could get more of that gum.
Oh, my teeth are so white and my cup is, my drink is so cold.
Just look in there and it's just cup and fans in the brain.
Let's go back in time.
Let's go to the beginning of these inventions.
What's the very first thing of note that Britannica and Nirvana has invented?
Oh, you mean back in 1990?
Yeah.
Well, the first thing that Britannica invented was just a test run.
Still trying things out.
We invented the death beam.
No.
This is the precursor to gum. Yeah. Before we really figured out what we wanted to do. I keep thinking about the death beam. Oh. This is the precursor to gum.
Yeah, before we really figured out what we wanted to do.
I keep thinking about the death beam way more than the gum.
It was an experiment.
It didn't work out, but it was a hundred mirrors
that reflected immense light that shined on enemies,
burning them, causing them heat stroke,
and if hot enough, causing blood to boil.
This was a giant magnifying glass
on human beings.
The death beam must never be used for violent purposes.
I just invented to heat up this cup that was getting cool for too long.
I don't even understand the death beam.
I, Theodore Death, invented it for peaceful purposes.
Well, I learned a valuable lesson from the death beam
and that's why we went to viruses instead
and the acid actually
that's right there's the acid
and then the virus
yeah yeah yeah
poor Tex
I was looking at some
a little bit of the politics
I've realized where my love is
and it's in Britannica
sorry other countries they truly arevana. Sorry, other countries.
Yeah, go to hell, other countries.
So I was looking at the politics that exist in Britannica Nirvana.
Can you tell me about that, please?
Yeah, the 2020 Britannide presidential election was the presidential election of 2020.
You follow?
presidential election of 2020.
You follow me?
Following the impeachment of Helen and Moshe, who committed
you know, treason, murder,
arson, whatever.
The system of election is
simple. You vote.
It's written like that. You vote.
The votes come in
and that's that.
Always round it.
That's simple enough. That's nice.
They always round it, so they vote again, and then round it again, then again, and again,
until they have a result.
So it's all based on estimates?
Yeah.
It's all like...
They won-ish.
They could never just wait until they're done and count?
They won-ish.
They could never just wait until they're done and count?
In the 2020 election, on the first vote-in, Sanja Kijaleko already won, having one million more votes than Grejako Doto.
People outside of the old BNN are allowed to vote.
This is called true external democracy, so we can vote on this.
All of you.
You guys.
Oh, finally.
Nice.
To the right is a picture of all the candidates,
and here's some, like,
stock photos
just pulled off
whatever websites
the creator visited.
I was led to believe
that they were 99% black.
This does not seem representative
of, uh...
Social commentary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is some apartheid shit right here.
Man, awful.
So to the right is a picture of all the candidates.
They go left to right, up to down, starting with the largest amount of votes, ending in the least.
They sure do.
They sure do.
Can you just tell me, so there's a bunch of candidates, and they have different experiences.
There's former politicians.
There's a lot of school teachers running for office, which is interesting.
Which should be.
Which, you know, but I'd just like to actually know the political parties.
The political parties?
Okay.
So of the 8,000 people that were running for president, there's the semi-federalist Democrat Party.
Right.
The Democrat Party.
Later, the semi-communist jewish workers um the switch
party a lot of semis going on switch parties during the election gotta keep people on their
toes yeah uh yeah the striped skunk party i think their motto is skunk, skunk, spray me an ant. Skunk, skunk, vote for me now.
The Know-Nothings.
Just the old Know-Nothing Party.
The American Know-Nothings.
Yeah, the American Party.
There's the Communist and Socialist Party.
Good, good.
It's good.
I'm glad that you united those people because they never bicker with each other.
They're pretty much the peanut butter and jelly people. They can unite.
I don't exactly agree with your politics,
but that's fine.
We have more in common than we have differences.
I won't make a big thing out of it.
United behind Alia, Jumium,
Criminimum.
Criminimum.
Criminimum.
There's also the Zhao Qing Party.
Yeah.
He's the youngest politician.
That's his job.
Ever?
Yeah.
He will never age.
He promises.
He's a baby.
There's the Federalist Party.
There's the Libertarian Party.
Of course.
And there's a Republican who has zero experience
he got 129 million votes
the only person who has no experience
whatsoever
yeah some of their experience is like writer
school teacher youngest politician
the Republican's experience just says none
nope
anyway so while we're on the topic
of politicians and stuff poor, I was looking here at Windu III, a very famous, widely revered Britannica, Nirvana politician.
Can you tell me a little bit?
Sure.
sure uh windu three uh is the first and last ruler of the micro national britannica and nirvana microstate britannica i he was dubbed the nicest ruler ever in existence
by many people more and more are saying it. That sounds legit.
Folks, I've been dubbed the nicest ruler in existence by many
people. By many people.
Many is more than several.
Everybody in the country is ten people.
As of 1995 to 2020,
he is known for
not executing anyone or
torturing anyone during his 90
years of rule.
I guess that does make him the nicest.
And that's a high bar.
That's one of my
top things I look for in a friend.
It's like, you know, have you executed people? Have you tortured
people? Political status
is dead.
In all capital letters.
Wait, that's his political status?
Political status is dead. He represents the DEA Wait, that's his political status?
He represents the DEA group.
He was 6'4". He was 6'4", had blue eyes.
His species was human.
His species was human?
That's not funny.
He was ruler for 90 years.
Yeah.
How old was he? He was born for 90 years. Yeah. Yeah.
I ain't no human eye. How old was he?
He was born in 1875.
Oh, he was born in 1875.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
So he lived to be, what is that, 108, 19?
Yeah.
That's good, man.
That's pretty good.
Well, he's 6'4".
Okay, Boots, you just found something else.
Yeah, I want to tell you about the city of Chet-tear-er.
Cheddar.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Cool.
The city of Cheddar.
Cheddar.
I'll buy three pounds of that.
Chet-tires.
Chet-tires.
It's a butt.
Chet-tire is a city, the capital city of Britannica and Nirvana,
and the second largest city in the country.
It is in the state of Nintendo.
Ooh, there's a link.
Frank is also often in a state of Nintendo.
We'll get to the state of Nintendo in a second.
The only few celebrities who have been to this city
are Billie Eilish in 2018 for a concert next to the President's House,
Kurt Cobain and the band Nirvana in 1994 for a concert on
jackson street and michael jackson in 2000 who came to go on a tour that went around
that went around cheddar so and those are your only three country concerts ever yeah it's the
only celebrities too you have one hell of a booker yeah they booker is fantastic. Quality over quantity, maybe.
So, yeah, the region
is western.
It is named for Sonia Cheddar.
It has a population
of 20 million. I should point
out that it is in the region of Nintendo,
which has a population of 18 million,
so that's fun.
Oh, God. anti-people.
The top
10 attractions are
number one, the President's House,
the Red House. Number two
is the largest restaurant, Sakura.
Right.
Number three is Nirvana Stage,
which was made in 1993, used in 1994,
and I guess preserved since.
Number four is the Derry Theme Park,
which is the second largest theme lark.
That's a good theme lark.
That's a lark.
Five is Cheddar University.
Six is Cheddar Stadium.
Seven is the Scottish Chartons Museum.
Wait, what's notable about Cheddar Stadium?
Oh, it's the second largest stadium.
Oh, so the first one just doesn't... think maybe in the world because like dairy theme park is
the second largest theme park maybe they're just like into cartoony jokes which that's the second
biggest stadium yeah and then like like quickly things get very uninteresting because number eight
is the ancient cheddar culture museum number nine is the sonia cheddar cemetery and ten is the Ancient Cheddar Culture Museum. Number nine is the Sonia Cheddar Cemetery.
And ten is the FACALB, which is the Federal Crime and Investigation Bureau Headquarters.
I mean, they have low gravity that they can turn off and on.
The cemetery might be more interesting than you think.
Well, who's on the city council?
Only the most important people have to be on the city council, right?
Only the most important people.
Yeah, I want to talk about the state of Nintendo for a little bit, which is under the,
obviously under the wiki page,
New Shia.
And it says, about New Shia,
Nintendo was a Nirvanaese
word, meaning wonderful or wonders.
And the original word was
Nuntendium.
The people at Ragusa and England
thought the word sounded like Nintendo, then changed it to Nintendo.
Nintendo was an old name and was changed to New Shia.
New Shia comes from Shia.
Which is its own country.
And so now we can go to the page for Shia.
What the fuck?
What?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, and Shia is in old Nirvanese means dry lands.
But if you look down here for a bit,
we talk about the Pustinia Desert City
is the driest city in the country of BNN
as the temperature never go below 30 degrees Celsius.
Oh, dear.
Roast?
It is the largest
city in Shia. The great dome-shaped building
called the Desert Igloo is the largest dome-shaped
building ever made. It has been rebuilt
twice because of a sand meteor.
And so if we go to the page for sand
meteor...
I'm glad you've mentioned this. I actually have a presentation
ready on the sand meteor.
Yes, please.
Well, the sand meteor is an event that only happens in Shia, a province in Britannica and Nirvana.
This is one of nature's most weird disasters in existence.
Next to the quickie.
They form very easily, but are usually never huge.
Let me just flip to the, sorry, the slide thing never works for me.
Yes, they form when the wind starts lifting sand and spiraling it. but are usually never huge. Let me just flip to the... Sorry, the slide thing never works for me.
Yes, they form when the wind starts lifting sand and spiraling it,
then goes into the air and it molds it into a rock-like object.
It gets thrown to the ground and debris flies everywhere.
Those shouldn't be confused with a sand blast,
because obviously that's when sand goes into the air and clogs the sun rays
path to the earth.
Oh, yeah.
That sand blast.
This MS Paint drawing doesn't lie.
Yes, sand blasts are a lot less frequent than sand meters
and as you can see here, I've drawn an MS Paint
thing with two arrows that are moving
that says sand launch and they
twirl around each other and then there's one arrow
and some dots and that's the sand
meteor. It should be very
clear. It is, it is.
If you don't understand, there's also
a chart. The effect of a sand meteor
is ground damage, death, and
heat waves, in that
order. And a sand
blast merely has
heat waves blocking the sun's rays and coldness. Coldness? Yeah. And a sandblast merely has heat waves blocking the sun's rays and
coldness. Coldness?
And so
the sand meteor will drop
debris and sand goes diagonally
and the sandblast is not
fatal. So
just always
remember, if you're not dead,
that's a sandblast.
But like, it destroyed a building.
Please remember
this non-rhyming mnemonic.
And you said that
the sand meter was an event that only
happens in Shia, right? Yes.
Yeah, Shia is where Prusiev City
is. Let me tell you about Prusiev City.
Please do.
It's known
for having tomatoes and everything. What. Yes, yes. It's known for having tomatoes in everything.
What?
Yeah, yeah.
Tomatoes and sand.
Yeah, let me tell you about the customs of Prushev City.
Tomato soup is considered a drink.
Say what?
Yes, what did I mean?
Including cereal, chicken soup, and beef stew.
Yes, cereal is considered a dry soup.
Splitting checks amongst everyone is common.
You have to literally tear the check into pieces
and give a piece to everyone,
so everyone gets an e-wool amount.
Ah, I get it, I get it.
Then also, yeah, so a punza mana is basically a set of pajamas.
At hotels, people who visit bars and restaurants and having breakfast requires you to wear a set of them.
You're required to wear pajamas at the restaurant.
Severed Dorians are always in war with these people.
Okay.
Do you require dinner pajamas?
You're wearing a tuxedo.
Get that shit.
I'm sorry, sir, but rules are rules.
This is strictly a black onesie event.
Another custom is that they have a very basic thing that's considered rude to do.
Don't go into the alley between buildings.
There are usually people hiding there.
So is it rude for them to be there?
They're called alley stalkers and they don't participate in the census.
The fiends.
Men usually wear black and orange and blue jumpsuits.
That's a genius way to say you don't have any homeless population.
They're just very antisocial.
Yeah.
That's on them, man. Our homeless list dropped to zero.
Unfortunately, our alley stalker population
has jumped to 15.
Those jerks.
They just won't participate
in the census.
I keep asking what their mailing address is.
Yeah, so the men will wear, like, black and orange and blue jumpsuits,
while the women wear skinny jeans, plain shirts, and have their hair tied back into a tail.
That's what the women look like.
Yep.
Remember, this is traditional stuff.
Mockery of people's clothing comes in the mock act.
There's no link?
How's there not a link?
I know.
It's not a real act.
It's a mock act.
If you go down to hate crimes.
You can read about the mock act.
I'll get there in just a sec because there's a pop music.
Talk about pop music.
Yeah, so the pop music is very common.
Rock and metal and country are also common in the residential zone.
Residential zone.
Part one.
I'm glad to see people listen to pop music.
And then, Funny Brad, you might be interested in this.
Basketball is the most popular sport.
Oh, good.
Yeah, do you want to know more?
Do you want to know more about that, that basketball is the most popular sport?
I want to know more about basketball, yeah.
This is the next sentence.
Basketball is the most popular sport? I want to know more about basketball, yeah. Awesome. This is the next sentence. Basketball is the most popular sport.
Car Donuts is a game where people drive a car in circles until they can't do it anymore.
During basketball?
That would make sense.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, that's how you do it in Indiana, the birthplace of Car Donuts.
Car Basketball.
Yeah.
So you obviously want to know a little bit about the history of Prusiev City, right?
I would
Yeah, so it was founded in 1800, Prusiev City, right?
And then in 2015 it became a city
Okay
Oh
That's all
Okay
That's all
That's kind of a gap, don't you think?
Yeah, so yeah, the driving age is very low
Surprisingly, drugs are legal.
Cocaine and LSD are also
illegal, in addition to the drugs, I guess.
Those are considered medicine.
That's a tomato.
Cocaine and LSD are fruit, actually.
Alcohol is illegal.
Smoking is allowed anywhere in the city
and then the mock act
or the mockery act
that protects the right
of religion
sex
gender
sexual orientation
clothing style
don't make fun
of my jokes
don't make fun
of my jokes
literally I hate
talking about
you can wear a
fanny pack on your
forehead crocs are part of my religion place for all my scrunchies You can wear a fanny pack on your forehead.
Crocs are part of my religion.
Place for all my scrunchies.
I'd like to point out, things were always very peaceful.
Wait, that's not the entirety of the mock act.
Okay, sorry.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, obviously, religion, sex, gender, sexual orientation, clothing styles, speech, protest, race, country of origin, education, occupations, and other things about personality.
Anything?
Just anything.
Pretty much anything.
Don't make fun of me, the law.
Yeah.
Haters back off, the law.
Yep.
Sorry, you were talking about
what were you talking about? You were talking about peace, right?
Yeah, things weren't always
peaceful in
Prustav City.
Yeah, no, they were involved
in the First Pacific War.
Yeah, Pacific War I
or Pacific War was a conflict where
an insurgent group known collectively as the
Mazjideen
as well as smaller Maoist groups
fought a four-year guerrilla war
against the Brit Knight Army, the Republic of
White Zhu government
and People's Republic of
Zhu Huzhou
government throughout the 1980s, mostly in
the countryside. The
Mazjideen were variously backed primarily
by the United States, Pakistan, Iran, were variously backed primarily by the United States,
Pakistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, China, and the United Kingdom.
The conflict was a Cold War-era proxy war between...
Okay, a lot of people were killed.
Let's get to the interesting part.
The war lasted for about, off by a few days,
a whole decade, being started when Jeff Boycott scored
Cricket Century and eliminated over...
Wait, what?
And eliminated over International on December 11th, 1979.
And lasted until the album Bleach was released.
Oh, yeah.
That album got released.
Yeah, that album cured a lot of wars.
And I'll get to the list of battles in a
second that album does kick ass they just liked it so much which is so good just like fuck it guys
this album rules let's stop fighting yeah um so like the contenders of the war were that the
white jew was attempting to revolt to make a country where straight white cisgender men are in control.
Tonga was attempting to invade Minerva.
So that's the contenders.
Anyway, the list of battles.
So on the BNN front, there was Prushtov City.
Okay.
There was Broheitzning.
There was The Offspring.
Okay. And Bleach Offspring. Okay.
And Bleach.
And Bleach.
The Battle of Bleach.
I want to know more about The Offspring City.
What's the makeup of that city?
The Lord just themselves.
this is so all over the place i want to know more about jeff boycott i think negative creep is the best song on this album. I think Negative Creep is the best song on this album.
That's how they all got along.
Also,
I looked at it, the other front was names I didn't recognize,
and the
battles are all named after cricket players.
Okay.
So, we learned a lot from this episode right Fuck yeah
There's so much more
Never want to stop learning about this country
I don't think there's
I don't think there's such a thing as done
We'll never learn about totalitarian
Totalitarian necrotic new low new lab
Bert ism.
Yeah.
I was,
I was looking at,
uh,
I was looking at,
uh,
like the,
their,
uh,
their TV channel,
the,
their,
their best,
uh,
TV channel or is called Columbus.
Um,
they have some,
they have some shows.
They have some popular shows on this TV channel.
Like for example,
don't wake up mom. Yeah. That, for example, Don't Wake Up Mom.
That shit's funny.
You see?
And Dad of Light.
Oh, shit.
I would watch the hell out of Dad of Light.
Yeah, Dad of Light.
Son, you doing your homework?
I can't say.
Yeah, and then some of their favorite movies, for example, are Grand Theft Auto.
And The Simpsons is their favorite movie.
Also, they've never seen
the show.
And then another movie
that they like a lot is Minecraft, but not
Minecraft the game.
Read that one again.
What?
Oh, no, you're right.
I'm so sorry.
I was wrong.
One of their favorite movies of all time is Mince Raff.
Which is a boat that's made out of meat.
Oh, it's a page for their film rating system.
Oh, cool.
Show it to me, please.
Yeah.
How the fuck are we back in the Super Nanny Wiki already?
Wikis are good.
You never left.
That's fair.
I said I didn't want to.
You've always been here, London.
You know how, but I just want to say, you know how, like, for example, like, this is all for, like, fictitious countries.
You know, and it's, like, fake countries that, like, don't exist and stuff.
So let me tell you about the Free American Republic.
It's America.
That's it.
And then above that is another country
that's called the Kingdom of Canada.
And then what?
And then above that, sort of like in the Alaska,
and what part is that?
What part is that?
The Yukon or something?
Yeah, the Yukon.
That's the socialist North America
because that's obviously
where all the socialists live.
But it does mention,
I did say it was America,
but it's not quite
because California has definitely ceded
from the free American population.
Oh, I just thought it pissed its pants.
It takes us away from our experience.
Anyway, did we learn anything?
I learned so much about this country even if you explicitly say don't copy off popular media nerds will be like haha a challenge you say
i mean it used to be when you just left kids alone without any specific creative outlet they
just set stuff on fire.
I don't know if this is better or worse.
Yeah.
We shot shit with guns.
Like that's what we did.
There is,
there is something I noticed as we were going through this that I actually liked.
And it's that most of these fake countries were pretty good on LGBT rights.
They were all like,
they definitely,
I will agree with that.
I actually found a page where there was an entire two-paragraph preamble about how this page
would be pro-LGBTQ
and everything, and then there was like
three sentences of,
which was both like really nice
and sort of adorable.
There's a lot of gays on this wiki making up little gay
countries, and I like that.
Good for them.
With a lot of gay countries.
One of the recommended pages that we talked about in the very beginning was the fake country's Wikia News. Good for them. With exploding gay countries. Yeah, good for them.
One of the recommended pages that we talked about in the very beginning was the Fake Countries Wikia News.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, here we go.
Welcome to the Fake Countries Wikia News Wiki.
The end.
Yes!
Yay!
Wait, you sure there isn't anything about Placeholder in there?
Oh, yeah, that was... Keep me still for a while.
Yeah, one of the things we looked at at the beginning was the fake sports team wiki.
And in that included the Hockey Wars, which is an annual competition between Dahlia Shuo and Canada.
In which the Toronto Maple Leafs are like the most winning team in the whole thing.
Oh, I was picturing a much more interesting war.
Somebody's got fantasies.
Yeah.
Someone's really wishing for days gone by.
Battle for the chalice.
The hockey wars.
Well, I'm pretty sure that we're going to be spending the next hour or so on the fake country's wiki.
But we'll leave it there.
The website is always THEFPL.US.
Ball pit.
Kind of fun.
Britannica no mana forever.
Malatorra.
Yeah.
This is way better than Malatorra.
Because I bought the minimum for the glow in the dark peeing on your fetish
stickers was
$250
I do have a lot
so
I would assume that
by the time this episode
comes out
there's still probably
no stickers
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye This is out of our range. This is out of our range in this crowd. This is getting to be.
This is getting to be.
This is getting to be a troll.
I'm a negative creep.
I'm a negative creep.
I'm a negative creep and I'm stoned.
I'm a negative creep.
I'm a negative creep.
I'm a negative creep and I'm stoned.
See also the Sean wiki.
A wiki for a country about Sean
Sean
Sean
Sean
Sean
Welcome to the Sean wiki
We'll be seeing you next week
With the Sean wiki
There's 21 pages on the Sean wiki
Oh yeah
Jackal Oh boy Sean Wiki. There's 21 pages on the Sean Wiki. Oh, yeah.
Jackal.
Oh, boy.
Do you want to know what are the politicians in Sean?
Yes.
Not just one.
Her name is Bo.
That's cute.
I am Bo of Sean.
I'm going to read about the 2008 Sean presidential election.
Is it between the Sean party and the Sean party?
A Sean in every pot.
A Sean in every driveway.
I can't believe that we got through this entire episode and we didn't mention that one of the administrators
is Stairway to Heaven is a good song.