The F Plus - 353: Boobs In Raingear

Episode Date: April 30, 2021

The people over at Rainwear Central have a fetish for rainwear. Whether it's ponchos or mackintoshes, wellingtons or sou'westers – they've got a lot of words to write, and they're all written with a British accent. Bunnybread is the only person in this episode who is able to do a British accent, but unfortunately that doesn't stop the others from trying. This week, The F Plus is fit to tit.

Yo! Uh... I don't know how to look at these. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Okay. Wawaweewa. No, I'm just, uh... I'm excited about the website we're going to be going to. The Raggin' Fracker? Wawaweewa. Wawaweewa. Four lives and a million! The Raggin' Fracker. Shipperoo, chappies.

This is the F Plus Podcast. You'll be chuffed by all of the cheeky things that we'll be reading with our mates. Mind the gap! Terrible things, run with enthusiasm. We've got Boots Reingear. When I was a teenager, I was snooping around at a church camp across the lake from where we lived.

The lodge was empty and unlocked, and I helped myself to the curtains. It's a piece of piss to introduce Bunny Bread. As I clicked it shut, he smiled at me. He approved. He held out a diaper for me and a roll of tape. A fine bird by the name of Sanguinary Novel. I felt under one

cape and a stiff cock dropped in my hand. I started to rub it to the chorus of Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! WANK! on the internet named Lou Fernandez. Mike was busy using duct tape to secure the diaper into place. He jiggled around to make sure the fit was right for him before looking back at me. I sat down to try to put on the chastity device. It was a fairly simple one

with a semicircle device that sat behind the balls, connected to a... And lemon. The naughtiest thing I've done with my rainwear are the things I do with my wife. She doesn't enjoy it as much as I do. Oh. That's a bummer.

Get a new wife. Doodle pip. We're gonna go back to wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake. Get around the time, you better hold it down and leave you breathing slow. Overstand cause I ain't even climbing or I'll leave you drowning from head to toe. Wet, why you trying to put me

in check? She'll pay for keeps, she better know I don't pay. or I'll leave you drowning from head to toe. Wet, why you trying to put me in check? She's late for keeps, she better know I don't pet. Knock your head off your shoulders, no sweat. Watch your step. Hey, F+. Good evening. Hello. Hey.

Oh, some very charming, good looking people in the recording tonight. That's great. That's great. I'm pretty. Are all of you feeling sexually confident? No. I haven't left this apartment in about a month, so no. I'm feeling sexually overconfident.

Oh, boots make up. Bunny Bread, is that just because you're still a virgin? Is that why? That's part of it, yes. Someday, Bunny Bread. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You know, there's no shame in that.

I'm crossing these fingers. You've made a pledge to the Lord. Yeah, and that's what's important. It's a sacred bond, as odd as that sounds. This is really going to be difficult to explain all of those people, those young people that look exactly like him, but okay. You can donate without having sex. It's just extraction. Without having sex, just extraction.

Well, I'm going to tell you about an exciting fetish that I was just very recently made aware of. This is a document given to us by SecretGageIn69. And, you know, when documents come through, you know, people email me and they say, hey, Lemon, here's I made a document. And sometimes I go like, oh, you know, I'll look at that. And, oh, here's I made a document. And sometimes I go like, oh, you know, I'll look at that. And oh, that maybe sounds interesting. In this particular case, SecretGage in 69 sent me a document on rain gear fetishism. And I went, well, OK, that'll get read. I'm listening. We all got a boner for boots.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is. Did we have to tip boots on OnlyFans before we read this document? Or can I do it, like, after? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you actually pay Frank West. Oh, that makes sense. I don't want to do this anymore, then.

I will tell you ahead of time, my OnlyFans account is not worth the cost. That's an odd flex there, boots. So we're going to be going to uh rainwear central.com uh rainwear central uh the uh header image uh is rainwear central rainwear forums the forum for all things rainwear so what's this got a very specific specialist city we sell specialists and that's all yeah yeah and there's a uh and there's a sort of like woman in the background wearing sort of a rain jacket, and she gets larger if the page gets bigger. Oh, I had it really small. I thought it was a garbage bag.

She's thick now. So I'm just going to start off here, if I may. I just want to ask you all a question, F+. And my name is Nora Severgy. Severgy. Yeah, so how does this raincoat fetish thing work? My name is Nora Severgy. Severgy? Yeah. So how does this raincoat fetish thing work? Oh, how much time you got?

About an hour. About an hour. I mean, and then maybe some music in the beginning. You're going to need at least five more hours. A little stinger, you know, like, yeah. Hi, I'm 18. I live in Sweden. I have a friend who has given my raincoat a lot of attention lately.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Special attention. Yeah. I did not think too much about it at first, but he just looks at me a certain way when I wear it. Oh, like a discerning way. With disdain?

He hugs me more often when I wear it. Oh, so he thinks you're cold. It is a little winter, so. Also, also, he has asked if he can loan it a few times. Excuse me? Okay. That was when I started to think about

if it was a fetish. Yeah. My raincoat is very girly. It's a really long stutterheim, a stutterheim that's shiny, and it's black with white borders on sleeves and bottom of it. I can't imagine a guy use my raincoat

outside. But indoors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I'm just trying to understand what this is. How does this raincoat fetish work? I think you figured it out. Well, have you met a penis? Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Tim, I kind of like the answer to that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. Let's just jump right into the voice. She did say it was a Stutterheim. Yeah, that's true. That's all you have to say.

Yeah, and I'm looking it up right now. A Stutterheim is sort of like the jacket that you would get a boat captain to wear. Oh. Oh. Oh, pardon me. I have to take care of something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Gordon the Fisherman.

Oh, my. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I got all these fish sticks for you, baby. Has anyone ever used fish sticks as a euphemism for penis? I think this may be a first, yeah. Congratulations. Definitely. I don't want to suck a dick anymore, Lemon, and I was all about it before.

Well, sorry about that. I can't understand why he seems obsessed over my raincoat. That's the end of Nora. I said slash Nora, so Nora is concluded. Her friend killed him shortly thereafter. Yeah, exactly. So, sanguinary novel, you are Miss Rachel? Got an answer for me here?

Hello, Nora. There's several angles to this situation. Number one, my, I guess, first be kind. Most boys do not understand what they have gotten into when they realize they love rainwear. I know I did not understand. It took years for me to find others like me and then to find out you may be laughed at for enjoying such clothing.

Two, which leads me into the second point. Number two, the follow-up point, the second one. There are many levels of this attachment. Speaking again for myself, I am like you, it is a fashion statement. I love to wear

a PVC rain jacket on cold nights to the nightclubs. It looks sharp and feels good. However, it quote-unquote feels good, which does mean there is a tactical element to wearing a PVC coat

that, of course, is a threat in itself. A tactical element? Yeah, your tactical PVC jacket. A tactical? Tactical? Yeah, there we go. Tactical.

Tactical. Tactical. Tactical or tactile? I think she meant tactile, but there's no I for the word. Oh, okay. That makes more sense than the tactical PVC coat. There's fucking nothing in there.

Anyways, number three. Finally, a lot will depend on you. Does this matter? Do you enjoy being with him? Does this matter? My friend is creeping me on me. Does it matter? What's the big deal?

Do you want to shed this life and become a raincoat? Does it matter? He likes to wear something you have worn. Kind of, yeah? It does matter. Again, that is a huge Does it matter he likes to wear something you have worn? Kind of, yeah. Yes. Uh-huh, uh-huh. It does matter.

Again, that is a huge thread beyond this little post. In my life, I have always hated the word fetish. In the U.S., it implies that there is an attraction beyond normal reason. But in Sweden, we're above such things. This is a perfectly justified, yeah. In Sweden, we like the coats. It's got a negative element to it. My personal experience

is that... No, you can stop that now. My personal experience is that enjoying wearing rain wear does not mean that you are somehow not normal. It only means you have an eye for fashion.

Okay, I think this was written, this is a sock puppet account for the actual boyfriend. You should loan him your jacket. It doesn't matter if he wants to be in it. Let him wear your underpants too. You should make videos of yourself masturbating in your rain jacket. Yeah. I mean, it's the only logical step here to keep going.

And then, Lou, your name is Mac Robin. Hello, my name is Mac Robin. Dear Nora Svirage, I agree with all that has been said above, and also, having spent a lifetime addressing the question you have raised in your header, I can also give you my considered view. Life well spent.

This has been my life's sole mission. Yeah. This is it. I'm looking at 17 paragraphs, so yes. It is long overdue. He's Diogenes the Cynic, but with this. I've been waiting for someone to ask this question. It is long overdue that the word fetish.

Barrel with only raincoats. It is long overdue that the word fetish should be consigned into the dustbin, because it has gone through so many meetings. He said it. It's true. Hey, this is Mack Robin, people. Hey, listen up. Please give me my due. I've spent a lifetime

on this. It started off as worshipping a material artifact in the absence of a material presence of the God you believed in. So adoring a Christian cross. Like a fetish. Like a totem. Like a fetish. So. So adoring a Christian cross. Well, fetish, like a fetish, like a totem, like a fetish. So you're adoring a Christian cross or

fingering a set of rosary beads with a manifestation of a religious fetish. Then in the 19th C, it got attached to sex, especially worshiping clothing or other items worn by the adored person. It got a bad name when the adored person was inaccessible for whatever reason.

The person who craved for her usually was a male who confessed to such deeds, stole the item to satisfy the craving. Oh, there's a lot of hand-waving going on here. Also, a computer used to mean a person that does math. I am in the process of writing a book in the evolution of the fetish displayed by people like me and most others in this forum. I have read all there is to be read by so-called expert psychologists going back over 100 years. All of it. All of that has ever been read.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Larry Flint. I read your Bob Guccione. Have you read? There's so many episodes of the forum. My cousin Vinny. The penthouse forum that cover this. They're all wrong to some extent, to one extent

or the other, including Kraft Ebbing, Freud, Havelock Ellis. None of these writers possessed what I call the predilection rather than the fetish, and so they could not possibly understand it. I read three books. They're normal. Yeah. Got it three books normal yeah got it got it got it so your problem with good jerking material by the way your problem with your problem with

sigmund freud was that he wasn't pervy enough yeah they called themselves normal and so anyone who liked the drape look and feel for example of a raincoat or a fur coat or a silk dress made a sexual association was defined to be abnormal and perverted because no normal person would excessively like a garment made of the juice of a rubber tree. Yet, this definition was made purely on the basis that the person making it was normal despite the fact that they probably had a predilection for taking shredded vegetation from another plant, rolling it into a cylinder, sticking it into their mouth, and setting fire to it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's what smokers do. They jerk off while smoking. Yeah, no, that's their fetish. You know, I gotta say, I didn't think I'd be into this fetish, but as soon as you described it as juice from a rubber tree, there's something awoke inside me.

I don't know. I don't know what to do with these new feelings. Finally. He looked at the entire field of psychology. Three dudes that died in the early 1900s. He says finally like in the middle of this rant. Finally. Finally.

Google scholar, Googled fetish, skimmed the top, and he's like, I'm an expert. You got to look up Mac Robin when you do that because this is my work. Finally no more than a couple of years ago the WHO finally removed fetishism from the classified list of mental illnesses provided it was between consenting couples and did not lead

to the person being deranged. Is that a DHM isn't a WHO thing is it? I don't think the who is involved in the d no i think he's talking about the dsm-5 but uh right yeah that's not the who this is why trump and he's talking about the band there's been a uh like a worldwide pandemic this is why this is why trump left the who oh oh so i need, so I need to wear rubber masks. No,

don't. Okay. Yeah, I mean, we're going to shove our dicks into them. So what about the chap who was asked to borrow your raincoat? I can't say what is in his mind, but I do recall in my teens being afflicted by a passion for a girl in my village,

Dee, and her, and I desperately wanted to borrow her raincoat because it made her look sexy and desirable, although I couldn't take her home and sleep with her in those days. The thought of sleeping with her raincoat seemed to fill the gaps till I was with her again. Then fix that part of your brain. I mean, it's great that you recognize that. Now fix that part of you. Yeah mean it's great that you recognize that Now fix that part of you

Yeah consult with the WHO bro The entire thing I feel like this part of his brain is perfect But okay I dare not ask her and she never knew She went off with someone else And I pined I met another girl, V

With an identical raincoat Felt salvation until I realized, with an identical raincoat. Felt salvation until I realized that it was her raincoat I wanted to be reminded of D and not her. It was unfair to treat V this way, so I backed off. Aw, well that's... So very early. Good job. I was able to separate the item from the person and want both, with the person always being more important. Yeah, and I don't think it was dumping so much as a court order.

There's a little bit of a difference. I will take my leave of you. This paper says I will take my leave of you. Three years ago, I met a woman and we both agree that we had met years ago. Wait, sorry. Three years ago, I met a woman and we both agree that had we met three years ago, we would have made a fantastic life together, but it would hurt too many

innocents if we tried to retrieve a lost life now. Are they shooting? Are they street killers? Wow. We don't know if it's D or V. She was made of antimatter. This is natural born killers. We would collapse the universe.

Our romance had maximum collateral damage. It took her a day to winkle out my predilection. To winkle it out. Is that like, to, oh. Everyone says winkle. Surely you winkled out my predilection. Bunny break, can I see your winkle? Oh, yeah. I mean, you didn't even have to ask. It's been out throughout this whole thing. Bunny break, can I see your winkle? Oh, yeah.

I mean, you didn't even have to ask. It's been out throughout this whole thing. We've been talking about raincoats. I thought you had a cam. She had known me for a while beforehand and knew there was something attractively different about me and was determined to find out what it was. When I told her it was raincoats and other clothes or rubber and latex, she embraced the notion with enthusiasm and said it made me more exciting. And she wanted to experience it. She had always liked the touch of silk and now found out why.

It was a foretaste. Oh, it's a pre-fetish. It's a winkly foretaste. That's what that is. It just gets you hooked. To cut a long story short. What? Yeah, thanks for that.

Appreciate it. She has a white linen shirt of mine, which she wore the first time we fucked. Properly. Properly. Properly. Notly. Properly. Not just me jerking off on her bound body. Oh, rather.

Oh, rather. And she sleeps. Here, I shall now provide the tat for your tit. How about you? Because she has part of me around her and she feels simultaneously excited and content, she likes looking at the faint stain where our combined juices dribbled. She bought a latex skirt and wore it a few times before giving it to me. I can't sleep in it because it doesn't fit.

A girl wearing her boyfriend's shirt is the same as all of my shit. They are equal. Yeah, that's why he tried to sleep in her tiny latex skirt. It's too small for me. I can't sleep in it because it doesn't fit, but I sleep with it. Oh, you fuck it. Okay. I hand these garments back now and then to be refreshed and then have a serious fuck with them in the bed we share rarely.

Rarely. Good. At least it's rarely. So. I would love to have a serious fuck. So. By all means. Just unblinking.

Like unblinking eye contact. Exactly. The whole time. Unblinking eye contact. Exactly. The whole time discussing your taxes. That's a serious fuck right there. So by all means, lend your raincoat to your chap. Make sure you ask him what he's going to do with it and when you need it back because it is raining. Ask him what he's been doing with it and also examine it for wear and tear. You might want to suggest

that he can keep it if he buys you a brand new one, at least the same quality. Everything will be okay, provided he appears to maintain his interest in you, or it even increases it. The whole business can become a superb addiction, or addition.

The whole business can become a superb addition or addition. The whole business can become a superb addition, which is how I dealt with it when I realized that I was different and not normal. I regarded it as an addition, something extra I had over normal people to whom I would now feel superior. I just got some latex last night. How do you feel, mortal? Fucking sheep. Give it a try.

And if he suggests he fancies fucking you whilst you wear the raincoat, give that a try. He's not her boyfriend. With the right approach, it can enhance a relationship. There may be something you like and can get him to do in return, although don't make it look like a trade. Oh, fuck you, dude. In a relationship, you do things absolutely and unconditionally.

He's not her boyfriend. If he seems to fade away once if he seems to fade away once her owns your raincoat, then you have learnt something very important and can move on. But the bottom line is. I love it when girls get learnt.

Yeah. But the bottom line is. It's almost as good as them getting turnt. And the answer to your question is, somebody, oh, everybody is different. And the right approach is to accept and enjoy the differences rather than make the other person be like you.

Because that way, life is boring. Lit ya. P.S. I notice it is you rather than him who came to this forum. Well done, winking emoticon. Bail, bail, bail. Well done, winking emoticon. Masterful move by everyone on the replies, that she's like, what is the deal with you people? And they both go, what's the deal with you? Can I summarize Norris Verridge's final update here?

Yeah, go ahead. So she goes back to the guy, and she's like, I have my jacket back. And he's like, and she goes over to the guy and he's like, I have my jacket back. And he's like, I don't know. And she goes into his bedroom. She's like, is this my jacket with cum stains all over it? He's like, yeah, I guess it is. And she's like, well, you shouldn't do that unless you tell me first.

Because she's real. And she put her hand on her hips. And then she waggled her rolling pin at him. Then she gave him a wink and she put the hand on her hips. And then she waggled her rolling pin at him. Then she gave him a wink and she put the coat on and left. Just come on it. Yeah. She put the coat on. Okay.

All right. All right. All right. I like this answer. I will ask him what he does with my coat and I will inspect it for wear and tear. Just come all over it. No. Tell me before you

come on it please yeah bunny bread I like this polish moving out of that thread to probably a really nice thread yeah

well I gotta assume everything from here on out is pretty nice we always start with the worst I mean you know I apologize for starting off with like a weird thing wait

mine was weird that's not what we do on the F plus this is the F plus thanks for corrupting us, Lou. Oh. Okay, yeah. I gave you a proper fucking.

A proper and serious fucking? A very serious fucking. No laughing. Is there something you like? Perhaps we can do an exchange. You know, we're all dying. It's a good change, because you're very well known for your mirthful fucking

joyful eating I'll go get the chess clock and then we'll go back and forth thrust hits the clock thrust hits the clock I resign that is

I mean I started off with the metronome but it just didn't seem quite libertine I see you've watched the queen's raincoat yeah alright yeah yeah okay let's get off this it's disgusting alright

I am disgusted at this point now can we talk about something it's a little more god almighty Jesusesus okay all right thank you all right not really comma rubberized coats not really rubberized coats again it bears repeating hi i'm trad mac i can't spell trademark how many times have you seen max advertised as rubber or rubberized and then they are PU or PVC? Huh? Has this happened to you? Yeah.

Purdue University or Purdue Vaginal Cavity. All right. Purdue Vaginal Cavity. Yeah. Purdue Vaginal Cavity. Yes. No, no. It's a subset of the original college.

Anyways. Just to throw it out there, this is going to be a British episode. cavity yeah vaginal cavity yep yes no no it's it's a subset of the original college anyways just to throw it out there this is going to be a british episode a lot of this content is uh fairly british uh if you thought that we were going to do an episode on rain gear fetishism without getting really really british uh you were wrong yeah um and so uh just throw it out there, Max is short for Macintosh, which is like a kind of raincoat. So like a formal raincoat. Like imagine the kind of raincoat that like Sherlock Holmes would wear. That is a Mac, a Macintosh. That will come up a lot.

Oh, I should have done my research. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I thought it was returned to the TradMac. Okay. Fuck. Well, I got to do this again. the TradMac. Okay. Fuck. Well, I gotta do this again. You got it.

Uh-oh. The latest I've seen is Liberty with their 750-pound rubber coat made of 52% polyester and 48% polyurethane. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Wow, that's fraud. That's fraud. I know exactly the percentages because of the way it feels against my dick. Let's take them on, these false sellers of rubber rainwear. I've emailed them asking

what is rubber about their coat, and also informing them that they are contravening the Trade Descriptions Act by describing a coat as rubber when it's not.

This is why we must Brexit. It all comes down to this, people. This is what's at stake. Anybody out there who are up for the fight to rid the rainwear sites of these untruths! Untruths, I say!

False! Good day. And then take the one from January 17th, 2021, please. January 17th, 2021. Oh, I'm still going. I'm still alive. That's the tragedy.

Okay. Success at last! Yeah! After four, four emails pointing out to Liberty the error of their ways, they now describe their castle additions, Mac, as an original coated trench coat. Hmm? Coated trench coat. Hmm?

I noticed Harrods used the term rendered from rubber-like thick material in their description. Despite their headline, rubber coat, which is technically incorrect. As stated earlier, it is 48% polyurethane. At least

cordings, at least cordings still sell the Scottish-made rubberized riding mack. Uh, hello. Uh, my name is, uh, oh, shit. No, never mind. Uh, my name's Nolvenbloke. Oh, no! Yeah.

I don't post here often but I read the post regularly I have a thing about mature plump ladies etc wearing the semi transparent colored hooded and belty PVC

rain max that was so popular in the 1990s yeah imagine you know how the things where people are watching The Queen, and there's all the old ladies that are in their raincoats from watching The Queen? Imagine that outfit. We all been there. Oh, so it's a jilfer.

You want a jilfer. Yeah, I posted pictures. They are fucking erotic. Wow, are they erotic. Some real British teeth happening in these photos. Oh, God. Anyway, exciting thing for me is to see these Macs from the rear. When the tied belt makes the Macs stick out off with a plump.

Here's the thing. I watch so much British television. The fact that I can't do any British accent is a quandary. I don't know why that is. We were convinced. It was funny. Yeah, okay. So it sticks out over the often plump, rounded bum. And also to see them with a hood up around their face or see the mark cling into their breasts and bulging out.

Yeah. Unfortunately. Fucking out. Fucking out. Unfortunately, you rarely see pixel ladies like I described. Except below. Yeah, those are good. You're welcome. But I wonder if anyone shares

my passion. Do they know of any grannies or mature plumpers that have seen wearing Macs like this? In other words, I like ordinary women

wearing ordinary Macs max asterisk with only underwear underneath. Oh. Okay. Am I late for the chimney sweep convention? Misses! Oh, man. This is grim. Okay.

So, sanguinary Novel Your name is Kinky Chippy And I just have a question I'm going to ask you Kinky Chippy, if I may Oh, go for it Yeah, yeah, yeah So my question for you, Kinky Chippy, is Have you ever masturbated outside in the rain?

If you have masturbated outside in the rain Can If you have masturbated outside in the rain, can you please tell me your experience? Thanks in advance. My name is Welly Whitney. Oh, Welly Whitney. Welly Whitney. Oh, yes. Great memories of taking a dog out for a walk in the rain on a local golf course in my youth. Must have emigrated from Australia, okay?

Yeah, yeah, that's right. I can't. Oh, you're like, oh, hey, here's the bottom. I'm like, I brought a shovel. Ah, yes, great memories of taking the dog out for a walk in the rain. Oh, now you're in Scottish, okay.

Go fuck yourself. This is what you're getting. For a walk in the rain on a local golf course in my youth, dressed in my PVC over trousers And plastic cycle cape There would be nobody else around And I would always end up pretending

To be tied to a tree How did you do that? Oh you just kind of like throw yourself Against the tree and you're like Oh no Oh I can't get out. Oh, it's stuck in the branches. Help.

Tied up to the tree in my waterproofs and I could not help myself. Impasturbated. And I would come into my plastic pants I wore in my trousers. Over trousers. My over trousers and my under trousers and my regular trousers. Well, you've heard of Under Armour, right? So, yeah, this is the over trousers. My in-between trousers.

Yeah. My medium trousers. Other times I'd be out dressed on my bike, dressed in my raincoats and pants with a black oil skin cape. And again, I would stop in a quiet spot. Oh, now you're Welsh. God damn it. No, no, no. Look, I'm taking a European tour. Yeah, it'm taking a european tour yeah a little taste of everything

come on black oil skin cape and again would stop at a quiet spot and whack into my raincoat yeah a wonderful feeling when we're coming in a raincoat. I gotta say, I would come into my plastic pants. Yeah, yeah. Is a very funny sentence for a comment. Over trousers coming down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Masturbated, would come in my plastic pants. I wore under my over trousers.

Imaginary tied to a tree. Oh, that's right. Since we're British, pants means he came into his plastic underwear. Yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, that's... But he's got overwear over his underwear.

It's not even a soft plastic either. It's like a talker truck. It's real bad. And then when I walked home, it would kind of slide. It's like a talker truck. It's real bad. And then when I walked home, it would kind of slide. It's a shell. Lou, you love capes and Macs, right? How did you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I knew because your username on this forum. I found you. Your username on this forum is LoveCapesAndMax. Okay. But you wanted a story to tell about masturbating outside in the rain. Oh, yes, yes. Masturbating inside in the rain. Fantastic. Yes, several times while my

wife was away. Wellies, long rubber-lined mac, hooded long cape over that, and nothing else at all. Out in the garden at night in heavy rain, the sound of the rain battering on my hood and the sound of the mack and cape thrashing about as I wanked furiously and splashed my spunk all over the rubber lining of my mackintosh. Now this definitely means computer.

I said jizz to the rain. When I masturbate, I thrash. Thrash wildly, gnashing my teeth. He's just really bad at masturbating, it turns out. That's the thrashing wildly. You get back here! Where you going?

I don't know. His jizz stream is kind of like a fire hose, and it really needs two hands, but he doesn't. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it sounds impressive when they describe it in porn, but when you actually see it in real life, it's a little bit horrifying. Oh, that sounds British.

Who is that? Oh, yes. My name is T-Storm 56. I'll sit down by the fire and listen to your tale. Yes. Gather round! T-Storm's about to tell a tale! Go, T-Storm! If you would like to know which region I am from,

it is rich. Do you have a quest for me? Welcome to Master Jizz Theatre. Spyro, you must rescue all of the dragons. No! I have wanked a few times in the rain. One memorable experience was during the summer when I was 18.

I was outside enjoying a nighttime thunderstorm that was dumping loads and loads of heavy rain. As the storm continued on. Just can you rewrite that sentence, please? Can you go back and hit the backspace key and just. It was raining. It was raining. Can you describe the rain differently than that?

Than dumping loads and loads? Yeah, yeah. It was a thunderstorm that was dumping loads and loads of heavy rain. Lobbing globs of rain. Is that better? Hot. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Okay. Okay. Long threads of ropey... Add a beer in my mouth. Ropey streams of rain. Ropey streams of rain. Oh, I don't think Prince appreciates that. The salty rains of summer

filled my mouth. Heavy rain. Heavy rain. Got it in my mouth. Heavy rain. Got in my eyes. All right, all right. It's a real pearl. As the storm continued on, I was getting more and more roused, knowing that a bright yellow rain suit along with a yellow sou-wester, probably pronounced sou-wester.

Sou-wester. Sou-wester. Sou pronounced Sw- Southwester. Sowester. Sowester. Sowster. Sowester was not the best outfit for hiding in, even at night. I had to find somewhere I could conceal myself. If there was anywhere on this absolutely drenching night for me to do the deed, it would have been behind the shed in my backyard. I had to do a slight undressing to get my shorts and underwear off behind the shed in my backyard I had to do a slight

undressing to get my shorts and underwear off in the shed a place where they would not get wet but once freed shorts and underwear? once freed from them that doesn't sound very British sir I went back out into the raging torrent of rain

outside and went behind the shed the combination of the storm outside and fantas behind the shed the combination of the storm outside and fantasies of having hot rain gear, clad sex with some of the well-endowed girls at my school brought me to climax

quite quickly. See that? Hot girls, hot girls. Wearing a raincoat. Yeah, yeah, wearing a raincoat. Hot girls wearing a raincoat. That Storm Boy's jerking off in the rain again. Ma! Tell that Storm Boy,

you just ignore him. And if he asks you to join in, you just go ahead and do it, all right? He's off working. I want him to have a friend. Dumping loads and loads of heavy rain. Also, I don't know why he's so damn British. We're in Kansas.

Damn it, Ma. The Clampettes went to Beverly Hills. Why did we move to Landcapes, Dyer? The bank took her cum! The bank took away her cum! You put on your yellow sou'ister and join that boy

We gotta fit in here Come on Hello my name is Rubber Macintosh Welcome Have you ever masturbated outside in the rain That was the original question No no no

Have you ever masturbated outside in the rain What sort of silly question is that on this phone? Oh, my. Of course I have. And I am a woman. And I am a woman. What? What?

Sure. They do exist. As a woman, you probably have a different term for this. Yes, we tend to call it frigging, which I do whenever I get the chance. We do? We do, yes ladies, we do. You must not be a real woman

like I am. Yes, fake woman. I'm gonna contact the cabal. Call you Chad. Sanguinary novel, tell me if any of this sounds familiar. Oh yeah, okay. I started to frig myself at school as a teenager. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Yeah, mostly beneath my lovely yellow PVC cycle cape. Oh, right. And sou'ister on the way to and from school in the rain. Like, on your bike? Yes. One hand on the handlebars, and the other, you know where.

Sure. On the brake. On the other handlebar. On the brakes. Well, you lead to nowhere. Congratulations. Well done. Yeah, you know where.

Just winky face. What a coming of age story. What a coming of age story. A sow-ister, by the way, is a rain hat, like a fisherman rain hat. So very sexy. I never wore knickers except on gym days. They just got in the way. Yeah.

Most of the boys also cycled to school and wore capes, leggings, and sowisters. Hey, you see that one girl? Capes? Capes. Yes, yes, they all wore capes. Are you, I mean, how, you're 106, right? Um, I'm ageless. Masturbation keeps me young. 106 and still frigging.

Yep, still frigging. Frigging in the rigging. You know how the one girl in the rain when she's riding her bike to school, she's just fucking weaving around all over the place? With her hand in her pants? She runs into the mailbox nearly every day. All the boys in my year and above knew

and used to think that I was a good thing. They used to think that I was a good thing. Hey, look at that thing right there. That's a good thing. That's what they thought, but I was. Look at that thing in our face. It's frigging... Oh, God. What the fuck? It's frigging itself up and down the street. They would surround me in the back

racks when it was raining and they would come all over my cape. Excuse me? What's wrong? No, it's just standard initiation yeah this is yeah mostly it was me doing the wanking however one hand for the boy and one finger for me oh wow oh one whole finger look at this gender inequality i only get 70 of the hand hand. Oh, one finger. I mean, wow, you're really doing well for yourself going light these days. Okay, so I was jerking off, guys.

I lost virginity on my back in a rainstorm having a thorough screwing. Oh, a screwing. A serious screwing. Oh, a screwing. A serious screwing. Later, after I had married Marco and moved to Gran Cariana? Canaria. Yeah, Gran Canaria.

He and I always wore rubber PVC Macintoshes, sowisters, and boots. When the rain hits the island, there were lots of places around our vineyard where you could indulge yourself and each other in all sorts of sexual activities. 69s outside on the ground in a downpour.

Imagine how difficult it would be to 69 during a rainstorm. Yeah, whoever's on the bottom is just oh, shot to hell. Like, just drowning. Oh my god, oh my god, help! This woman. Yes. This theoretical woman. Yeah, you love it. Must have had so many fucking

yeast infections. Like, oh man, I can't wait to get this, like, acid rain in my vagina. It's so hot. So, let's skip a little bit. Marco's dead. That's all. He drowned.

Okay, so I met a canary girl who worked for me at the vineyard. She's been wearing my PVC Macintosh. She spotted me frigging in the pouring rain and started to do likewise. That's just what we do? Okay. That's just what I'm canarian.

Yep. Well, I wanted to feel at home. Until we were able to slip behind some bushes, whereupon she put an arm around me and slipped her hand inside my coat. And soon she had two fingers in me. Whoa. So she's really advanced. I repaved the compliment, and we both orgasmed together. Aww.

Aww. So once we are settled in our new home we will be needing two good blokes because I'm damned if I'm going to settle for just frigging myself or Maria I'm missing a good cock and Maria needs

one before she goes less real woman out so many legitimate women on this forum. Women with at least one or two fingers. Who lives in the Canary Islands in Spain. Do you feel emboldened being in such great company with all of these other women? This is empowering.

It's nice to know that other people grew up around a girl who just let them jizz on. Just jizz. Just be a jizz catcher. It wasn't jizzing on her. It was jizzing on her rain cape. Oh, okay. Oh, you didn't think she was wearing it while that was happening. That would have been inappropriate.

I'll just have to erase this drawing. I'll just have to erase this drawing. I just found a bunch of dudes, a bunch of blokes, who were like, yeah, we're going to hang out in the rain in the back and jack off on you, I guess. I couldn't help notice you were masturbating on a bicycle. She's going to jack off on her own, but I'm kind of happy you showed up because you got some PVC. All right, Bo PVC. All right. Boots. Yes. We are coming to a section called Wonder Welly.

Wonder Welly? Wonder Welly. And... Hold on. Hold on. We're going to back up just a tiny second here. I need you to read that part. Yeah.

No, this is the hottest. Yeah. Oh, oh, yeah. Just take that for yourself, please. Oh, thanks. Thanks. Hello. I'm Real Woman again.

I'm buying an eight-bedroom B&B near Barmouth. Should be open for guests, COVID permitting, next Easter. If you think this might be a honeypot, you should know that I'm approaching 60 and Maria is just 19. I haven't worked out the extras yet. Alright. If you think this is bullshit,

it really is. Wait. It's not real? What's happening? Erase the whole picture. It's just real. What's happening? Yeah, erase the whole picture. It's just not working. The flag was already FF0000, but somehow it got more red.

Okay, so thank you for the hex code, Boots. I appreciate that. Okay, so in the Wonder Welly section, I'm going to give you a choice here. Our choice is Wonder Wellie. So, for example, like, there's a poll that's, like, I'm just going to tell you the poll is, if you

were to fill your Wellies, Wellington is a boot, if you were to fill your Wellies, what would it be with? Okay. And there's a three-way tie. Water, 29%. Mud, also 29%. And custard. Oh, custard.

Custard. Treacle. Nobody voted for treacle. Nobody voted for treacle. I'm a treacle man myself. And surprisingly to Britain, nobody voted mushy peas. Oh. Oh, what about baked beans

is that even in there but one person voted Nutella that's an American woman that did that probably but slime I have choices what's happening so your choice here Boots

is myadventuresand Wellies hyphen first post. That is by a poster by the name of King of Wellies. That's very good. Yep. The other one is a post by Jack, presumably Jack Dorsey from Twitter. Yeah. And it is simply called Wellies.

Okay. I want Wellies. Okay. Wellies it is. Take it, please. Okay. Hi, I'm Jack. Hey, Jack. Hey, Jack called Wellies! Okay, I want Wellies! Okay, Wellies it is. Take it, please. Hi, I'm Jack! Hey, Jack. Wellies! Hey, Jack Dorsey. I'm Jack Dorsey from Twitter.

Oh, are you back from your starving trip? Yeah, I sold the first tweet as an NFT. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's been a while since I last wrote something about my wellies and what i get up to my wellies that went to belgium with me and have found long-term home and some in a very in a very much field very much very In a very much field. A little field here. Extraordinarily yes field. Wow. Man, that's a field.

Yeah. Much field, so grass. Yeah. As you... Sorry. I know. You're reconnecting with a memory and it's... Right. It's very emotional., and it's... Right.

It's very emotional. As you may have heard that I love mud, I took an adventure on my bike one day to find a perfect muddy spot. I cycled 2.5 miles through dense, muddy fields to find the right spot and eventually found it amongst a bunch of mud and weeds which had been sitting for a while.

I dug my wellies out from my bag with a two-liter bottle of water and made the area very muddy and put on some beautiful rubber boots. I poured water all over the area to make the dirt wet and sticky. I stomped and squelched around, covering my rubber boots in filthy mud for an hour or so. Eventually, I took off my wellies and put them in a bush so my bag would stay clean. I cycled back as if nothing had happened. You left the wellies?

That was my lunch break. In the meantime, I have another pair of the same cheap wellies which i adore most nights if not all nights i put them on in bed or when home alone and get hot and sweaty the feel of the wet thin fabric lining is like heaven the way my feet slip and slide around in the enclosed boots feels great i I hope you like all your blisters. Sometimes I give in and squirt cum inside, leaving a hot, slippery

mess of cum and sweat to slowly dry inside. How are you sweating inside the boot? Sweaty feet? Real sweaty dick. Nearly every day the boots get hot and sweaty. Feel amazing.

Smells great. The boots still sit in the bushes when I occasionally revisit my mud spot to stomp around, and my sweaty boots sit at the end of my bed, ready for their next night of wet, sweaty feet. Every day I look to find used- They're begging for it! sweaty feet. Every day I look to find used. They're begging for it. Every day I look to find used, heavily used,

used, heavily used. Okay, don't say that. Every day I look to find used, heavily used rubber wellies to buy to find someone with a similar interests as me. Any help with finding a similar item

can help create more stories like these. Look, man, I just want to sell these boots. I don't know what you're talking about. What is this other stuff you're talking about? I wore these boots and I'm trying to sell them. Look, I want you to be a part of my welly polycule. Can I read Jack's post from the said poll that you made earlier? Yeah, the poll about if you were to fill your

wellies, what would it be with? I love to fill my boots with very viscous items like various shower condiments like shampoos, conditions, and washes as they are slippery yet thick. Another one I like to use is honey or golden syrup

as the viscosity is unbeatable. I would highly recommend something like this in your boots. Do you want to buy these boots or not? They call that a Chicago style. I'm going to have to take them for a test drive first, these boots. You're not pouring any of that golden viscous stuff in there before you buy them. No, no, no, no. I wouldn't do that.

No, hang on. Leave the room and leave me with the boots. Yeah, no, no, no. I wouldn't do that. No, hang on. Leave the room and leave me with the boots. Yeah, no, it's fine. You're going to have to leave them with me because I have a process. Boots, I know that you took the story entitled Wellies and therefore did not take my first adventure in Wellies.

Yeah. And that's fine. I respect your choice. I respect your decision. Okay. To an extent. But I would just like you to read this sentence from the story you did not read. Okay. I had never been into anal before, but as he pushed his horny... Yes, yes. As he pushed...

So you had never been into anal, but... But? He pushed. So you had never been into anal, but... What? I had never been into anal before, but as he pushed his horny bullseye wellies into my forbidden hole, I felt an incredible sensation I never want to forget.

Oh, man. I regret that you didn't read that one. So you wanted him to kick your ass? Actually, I think it is actually a better story because when it wasn't raining, like in summer, me and my mud pal used to prepare wellies with fillings such as custard.

We would go on a welly walk with the thick loops slipping and sliding around the whole way. A few more mud jumps to the top of our boots and we both jacked off into the mud. A combined salty mess. Glorious. Causing our balls to burst. Thick

cum streak shooting from our pricks. No, no, no. The buildup to that is we found a secluded area and realized we were about to burst and emptied the hot custard on each other. Each other's bolding erections from our wellies. He has a lot of things he doesn't want to

forget. Yeah. He says, I never want to forget it. I took off one wellie and did the same for him, him coming loudly as he spread his load into his welly. An enormous load of cum leaked from the tip of my cock. I never want to forget it. We sunk lower into the mud so our tracksuit bottoms were completely submerged and our cocks drowned in the black stuff. were completely submerged and our cocks drowned in the black stuff. As we called it a night, we splooged

around getting out of the mud pit, which in itself encouraged another come. We both came into each other's wellies and swapped. Do you have the wellies swap AVI? AVI?

All right, all right, all right. So, Bunny Bride, you said you had a story that you wanted to share with us? Yeah, yeah. What's it called? Does it have a good title? Well, yeah. I mean, everything I've written has a good title, all right? I'm the maestro here, all right?

Okay. I hope it's a title that sort of like sets a mood. Yeah, all right. Please prepare yourself. Let's envision a dark and stormy night, shall we? And your name is? Klype, or Kelly P.

Oh good, another woman. Excellent. Anyway, so the name of my story, and I worked pretty hard on this, so I just, please, any constructive criticism you got, let me know. Okay. I hope you like this. Sorry about the spelling.

Well, no, that's okay. It's a story about spelling. That's a lowercase i, by the way. We can do editing later, but just get it out now. I mean, it's fine. No, yeah, it's perfect, right? Okay, you guys would have said if it wasn't perfect. Okay, good.

First come, best come. Sorry, did you say Tori Spelling? Yes. Tori Spelling, yep. I hope you like this, Tori, about the spelling. Yeah. All right. Bad day.

Lisa and Kelly work on a boat. No, work on boat. Lisa and Kelly work on boat. How is boat and stain? They both live on a small inland and shipping anything to the mainland. This, no period, this could

be car parts and handbag. Oh, yeah. Car parts and handbag are as a cop. Car parts and handbag. They're from the 70s. I'm car parts and I'm handbag. This could be car parts and handbag. They are lovers and are quit poor. And both of them are small but on the fat side.

Thanks. It started like any other day. They were getting all of the bits. They had to ship ready. Lisa was making sure the boat was... Making sure. S-H-O-R-E. She was making...

Oh, for sure. She was making sure for the boat. Yeah. And she was building an actual... Yeah, okay. No, they got a bunch of handbags and they're stuffing car parts in them. Yeah, there's tons of car parts in there, a lot of dirt, and they're just dumping it out there.

We got to get this shore finished. The boat's almost here. Lisa was making sure the boat was running right. And Kelly was making sure they had food and drink. It would take four to five hours to get to the mainland. Kelly, are you ready? Yes, said Kelly. Kelly, can you handle this? Kelly, are you okay?

Are you okay? Are you okay, Kelly? Beyonce, are you ready for this? I don't think you're ready for this, Kelly. My handbag's got car parts in it. Kelly, are you ready? Yes, said Kelly. And they start to set off. They were on deck to gather.

Lisa was to gather. To gather. To gather, always and forever. They were on deck to gather. Lisa was stringing the boat, and Kelly was taking to her. It looks like a good day. The weather looks okay. Lisa was not too sure about that.

Wow, I'm completely lost. Okay. She's sorry. She's sorry, okay? Kelly is sorry. Okay. Kelly is sorry. Alright, alright, alright. Too sure about that it was getting dark and quick. Kelly, could you go below deck just see if all

bit have not moved just in case it does starts to storm? Oh, a period. Look at that. Shit, it is possible. Nice. Alright. Okay, I i love you said kelly and makes her way below deck she looks around all was okay so she was making to go make her way back to lisa period just as she gets back to the deck lisa cries. Possessive out, get back down. It had started to rain. And it was bad, Lisa cry.

Possessives to Kelly. I am freezing. Get back down. And try to find anything plastic for us to wear. Plastic, folks. Plastic. Period. Period.

As they have very little money they have never bow raincoat bow raincoat but this was so bad the boat was moved like it was a toy kelly run back down she starts to look around get goes to pound town as she was down there as she was down there, as she was down there, she was getting cold. And this made her think about poor Lisa on deck, trying to steer the boat, period. Plastic,

plastic, looking for some traffic. Okay. Thinking she was talking, taking to herself, the boat moves hard. And this was making it hard for Kelly to stand guard. Nice.

Nice. You got some real flow here. All right. I need to find anything if not for me but Lisa. Period. Kelly finds a plastic bag on the floor. It was a black trash bag. Okay.

Okay. It's a start, Kelly. Puts it on. It was a black trash bag. Okay. Okay. It's a start, Kelly. Puts it on. It was to tit. It was fit to tit. It was too tit tight and start to rip will this. Well, this

was do I more with me? She's sorry. Look, she's sorry. She's sorry about the spelling. Okay. sorry about it that's that's on me for not understanding her sorry all right pulls the box open to find wall coats she starts to cry with anger she kicks the box all of the coats fall out of the floor no there is nothing down there that will help she kicks the coat just the, and starts making her way back to Lisa, who is so wet and cold she cannot stand upright.

Kelly knows that there is no point in wearing any clothes at all. Yeah. Okay, okay. She's hit that hypothermia where you lose, where you think it's... Exactly. You think you're overheating and you take off everything. Take off your clothes. These people are about to die.

It happens in like 50 porns a day. All right. Stepsis, do you have hypothermia? Yep. All right. So anywhere close at all, all she has is just one plastic bag as she takes off her skirt and bags and then her top. Then just put the ripped bag back

on just as Kelly makes her way back up the stairs. She looks down the stairs just to make sure she had not missed anything. Just as she is about to give up, she sees something that looks plastic.

She runs over to it. It's a Mac. A plastic Mac. Kelly pulls it from under one of the boxes and tries to put it on. It is too small. That's one plus one small. But she knows she has to get it on. Kelly is crying out,

Come please! Come, come, come, please! Come-a, come-a, come-a, please! As she pulls the Mac one more time. She get it on now. All I have to do is do the Mac. Yeah!

It's the return of the Mac. Oh, okay. All she has to do is return the Mac. Up with that, she takes a big breath in, pulls, she fat! Damn it, she fat! Damn it, she fat. Pull that fat. She fat. Stomicked!

She fat stomached! In and the zip does up. She didn't get the hood up. She fat-stomached. In and the zip does up. She didn't get the hood up. The mech is so small she can fill. It's going to rip. What with that and the bag. Period!

Kelly, I need you please. Help Lisa cries at the top of her voice. Kelly knows that the mach she has on will not fit Lisa. Only if there is something, so something, anything, that could help us as Kelly looks in the dark as she sees a babe's parham. These are all Paul Wall lyrics,

right? Yeah, they are. She pulling fat stomachs as a zip up. With a lot of bit. A lot of bit. They are taking to the dump for a custom, but it has a plastic rain hood. I could use it to cover Lisa.

She runs over to known to know it was a last chance to save Lisa. Is gets it off and runs up the stairs to Lisa as Kelly get to the deck. The rain and wind are so strong she opens the plastic hood. She took off the parham and puts it over herself just so she can see where Iz is going.

Lisa, I am cum. Wow, wait for me. Destroy our worlds. am calm please get to me as Kelly get over to Lisa Kelly you have a Mac where mine babe Kelly started I could not find You have a Mac where mine, babe. Kelly starts to cry. I could not find you one. This is the only one. I know.

Get under this rain hood with me. No screams out, Lisa. I want a Mac. You have a plastic rain hood and a plastic bag and a Mac. I need your Mac, Lisa. It's too small for you. please get under the rain hood. Karma! With at Lisa grads, Kelly Mac.

And start to pull it. Okay, Lisa. I will take it off. Oh, my God. Man, this valedictorian. How the fuck did they get up there? I'm smarter than all the rest of you. I know, I was shocked as well.

First come, first serve. Yep. Okay, Lisa, we'll take it off. They both lay under the plastic rain hood, freezing. Kelly undoes the zip. No, it will not fit Lisa. And no, she is about to get as cold as her pleas. Kelly, get

it on me here. Put your arms in them. I will try and done it up on you, Lisa. Kisses! Kelly, thank you. I need it. I will go blow deck. I need to go blow some deck. Are you going to

blow ants too or just deck? Just deck. Are you sure? And blow deck ants try and find one. There must be some ox head. Kelly said there was no there. Alright. Okay Lisa, this is going to heart.

I'm sorry this might heart. Kelly pulledisa into her trying to pull her fat body into the mac so she can do this dip up everybody do the zip up lisa do up lisa cries it's doing some but don't do the zip up said kelly But then the Macs start to make a ripping sound. Kelly, it's ripping. Please do something. I am not going to stop just a bit more. And with that, the size does upright get the hood.

Lisa, okay. And then Lisa starts to run to the stairs and get below deck. Lisa cries out to Kelly. Get out of the right hood. Use that and your bag to try and stay dry. I love you! I love you! I love you too! Cries Kelly.

The wind hits the rain hood, which Kelly is under Kelly. Kelly has been cloned, finally. And under that Kelly, you'll find another Kelly. And under that Kelly, you'll find another Kelly. And under that Kelly, you'll find another Kelly. Russian stacking Kellys. Yep. Hey, wait a minute.

The writer's name is Kelly. Oh, wait a damn minute here. This is a true story. Kelly is under Kelly. Yeah, no, this is so many Kellys. Bad day, bad day. Grads the plastic bag she is just Kelly. Yeah, no, this is so many Kellys. Bad day, bad day. Grabs the plastic bag she is just about to wear, hoping that the wind won't rip it from her and the rain hoods stay with her. Rain is hit harder and harder.

Kelly knows it's not rain, but now ice she know. That if Lisa tries to skip back to her, the ice will rip her back from her as it was tit on her. It was tit on her. Yeah, it was so tit. Damn, that's tit on you! Oh, tit on you! Eat tit, bitch. If you would like to add, please feel free.

Feel free! Feel free! I mean, could you fight this? I have to assume that it's Lisa and Kelly from Save of the Bell. This is Save of the Bell fan fiction. This was actually

what they wrote when they were trying to get the reboot happening. Yeah, this was the pitch. This was the reboot pitch. Should we put a couple of commas and periods in there? No, no. Why? Yeah, so I think we've learned a little bit about Britain.

And we've learned a little bit about Britain and Britain's particular predilections. I think that this podcast has frequently explored the concept that British people are perverted. So we're going to move away from that. Good. We're going to go to... I think it's more likely that perverted people are probably British. Yeah. So we're going to move away from that and we're going to go to Denmark.

Yay! Okay. Nothing going to be weird there. Yeah, yeah. Nothing going to be weird here. Okay. Nothing going to be weird there. Yeah, yeah, nothing going to be weird here. Okay, yeah, so we're going to just go to Denmark to a site called Rainfracker. That's rainfracker.dk, sort of written in a sort of impact font. Dot DK, sort of written in a sort of impact font. And this story is called It's Not Just a Raincoat.

Lou, if you'll start us off, please. There was a light drizzle this afternoon and Adam was waiting for Julie, a woman he started dating for the last month. He was wearing a classic vinyl yellow raincoat. It was his first raincoat he had as a teenager, too, when he first realized he was excited for raincoats. Today, there were rain boots and raincoats of all fabrics and styles, but only latex, plastic, PVC, and vinyl did it for him.

Julie arrived at the cafe wearing red hunters and a matching double-breasted microfiber raincoat. Microfiber, he thought. Damn. Microfiber. Hey, Adam. Julie said happily. Is the rain keeping you down? I thought ducks like the rain.

Oh, yeah. Yellow raincoat. Nice hunters. Aren't these hunters so cute? They're so comfortable, too. Who would have thought 10 years ago that rubber boots would be in style? Oh, Margie, did you bring that hot dish again? Oh, the taters.

I brought it in a rubber dish. Uh, no, eh? He was mocking her in his mind. Who makes fun of his fetish like this, especially someone who likes? Us. No one. What did you drink? What did you want to drink?

Cafe mocha with cream. One cafe mocha. It's going to have cream because it's a mocha. If it's a mocha, then it has cream in it. No, add cream to it. No, it's just cream. I want the hot cream and the cold cream in my mocha than it has cream in it. No, add cream to it. No, it's just cream. I want the hot cream and the cold cream in my mocha.

No, no, look, he's on keto so he doesn't want it made with milk. He wants it made with cold cream. Yeah, can you make a mocha and then put non-dairy creamer on top of it? One cafe mocha and one cafe caramel. That's not what he

ordered. He thought, only if that jacket was vinyl or rubber. I have no idea. How was work? Oh, hello, man in the box. How was work? Busy day. We got some new jacket styles in today.

One shiny PVC trench comes in black, red and white. Huh? I know how your eyes drift whenever you see shiny PVC. What does it do for you anyway?

Julie has only been direct but Adam was getting to get uncomfortable in pants he wanted to scream out how much it turned him on and show her I just think they look really nice

really they're very practical for a rainy city like Seattle with my very seattle accent look i didn't come from amazon fast enough so this is what you get you think there are you think there is a disproportionate number of fetishists in rainy cities? Because this is the only fetish that exists. This is pretty much it, yeah.

Come on, guys. Fetishists and vampires. That's what we know about rainy cities. There are so many raincoat styles from London, and they are foggy or cloudy all the time or something like that. God, this episode is horny. He wanted to let loose, but in this public place, what would Julie think? Oh, how he wanted to dominate her and dress her in a proper raincoat. What is let loose?

Does that mean jizz in the coffee shop? Cream. Cream on my mocha. Oh, that was the cream. Yeah. Rainy cities? Oh, that was the cream. Yeah. Rainy cities? Oh, probably. Do you want to see a movie tonight?

Oh, changing the subject? That's saucy, I love you. Am I making you feel uneasy? You are fun to torment, and you only torment the ones you like. The look in her eyes drew him closer, and he laid a firm kiss on her lips. She kissed back. I can't believe our first kiss was in a coffee pub. What kind of coffee pub?

I was hoping for a dark alley. Like all girls are. There was a few things he wanted to do to Julie in a dark alley. Oh, shit. Nice. I like you a lot, too, Julie. I know. Want to come to my place for a movie? eight julie knew the code oh how she wanted to be dominated by adam

who was six foot one that's his last name and they just forgot the hyphens eight o'clock is the domination time you can only dominate if you're six foot or above. That's just how it works. Sure. See you tonight. Wink. Adam went to Julie's clothing store and there was the raincoat she described. And they had a hood, too. He bought her size. Hi, Amanda.

Hi, Adam. How are things going with you and Julie? Oh, hi, Julie. They are going well, thank you. Adam. I'm glad somebody decided to write down this dialogue. Anyway, I'm out of the story now. It was good that we had...

Goodbye, Amanda. Did fucking Tommy Wiseau write this character? Oh, what a good kitty. write this character? Oh, what a good kitty. Adam walked home and prepared for the evening by making... You're my favorite customer. Adam walked home and prepared

for the evening by making a tilapia mango dish. Yeah, yeah. Julia Ray dominated it. Julia arrived looking a little wet from the rain. They ate supper and started watching the movie. But that didn't get very far. They made their way to the bedroom where the raincoat was on the bed.

Strip put on the raincoat. Now I will return he's gotta go get some cigarettes one week later i love mistress boots mm-hmm three three thousand years the bones we thought for a long time The bones of Julie in the raincoat Thought Julie How she wanted to be controlled After a day of ordering people around at work What?

Written again by a woman Clearly She put on the raincoat She knew Adam got aroused And that excited her Adam returned wearing a thick She put on the raincoat. She knew Adam got aroused, and that excited her. Adam returned wearing a thick and shiny black vinyl trench coat. Oh, shit.

How powerful he looked. The black vinyl trench coat mafia. The sexual creativity on display here. Why don't you wear a raincoat, and then I'll leave, and then I'll wear a raincoat, too, and then we'll both have raincoats on. I'm wearing my big black raincoat. Hey, Adam, is there supposed to be, like, PVC on the floors and everything else? Seems a bit much. The squeaks of vinyl were deafening.

How powerful he looked, Julie started to tremble. What do you think of the raincoat I bought you? It's shiny and nice. They sent a poet. Smell it and smell mine. Yes, Adam. Adam hit her face. What?

What? Why did he do that? Adam hit her face. Yeah. Yeah. You know. But I don't like your character. What the hell? When in Seattle. Yes. He kissed her already. Master is how you will address me.

Yes, master. Much better. Now be a good girl and smell the raincoat. I can kind of smell nothing else. It smells like pennies. I don't smell the shit.

You hit me hard. Let it fall your sinus. Let it fall your sinus. You like that? Yes, master. She was getting wetter and wetter. But the rain was outside. Adam tied her up and some rope to the bed.

He also tied up the rope. The rope was next. That rope ain't getting free tonight. He rubbed her body in the vinyl. Okay. Hear that sound? Doesn't it turn you on? tonight. He rub her body in the vinyl. Um, okay. Hear that sound? Doesn't it turn you on? What? Oh my god!

Oh my god! What Lou said is a joke! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, master! How much does it turn you on? Adam placed his hard cock in her mouth. Yeah, good girls don't talk. Yeah, I learned that from Hello Kitty. Julie was in joy being dominated and started to enjoy the vinyl a lot, too.

Started to. Okay, great. Finally. All of the blisters and the horrible burns. Later on, we'll come back up. The smell, the feel, the sound, and how it stick to her body. Yay.

She sucked on his cock, bringing him closer and closer. Adam pulled out. To what? Oh, you tease, Adam. Put it in me, my raincoat god. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You were wrong to mock raincoats yeah fuck yeah you will start wearing your raincoat rain or shine my girl oh he slide his car sorry can i do an alternate reading of that yeah no that was perfect yeah. You will start wearing your raincoat rain or shine my girl. You were wrong to mock raincoat. You polished that girl. Her name's Alice. He slid his cock into her

wet and throbbing pussy and he rubbed her all over. He thrusted quickly and came within seconds. Boo! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Raincoats really do. I like that you say boo as though you would like this to last for a long time.

You're very right, but okay. Raincoats really do something for you. I will wear my raincoat often, my master. It's not just a raincoat. Adam punched her in the face. Fuck yeah.

He hit her face. He hit her stupid face. She mocked his raincoat. Look, the only way we're going to get through this is if she put on a raincoat and became Targo. Alright, alright. Very quickly, very quickly before we finish up here, Bunnybread,

you have a true story. I have a real quick question. Should we try my shitty Swedish accent or my shitty Cockney accent for this one? I think alternating paragraphs. Yeah, of course. You're right. That would be my preference.

I hope you guys enjoyed my previous work. Sorry about my spelling. But I got another one. I got the sequel called True Story. Okay. All right. This sounds like a humiliation fantasy story, but I swear it is true. Sometimes, when it's raining, I dress up well and go for a bicycle round.

Oh my god, you're gonna make me cum again? Again? Ween on bicycle in bad weather, no one really pays too much attention when you are wearing. So, it offers a good excuse, if that is a a real word to put on some good rain gear well yesterday i put on the bright blue high boots bright blue ruka bib trousers and yellow epiproper running jacket and went for a joyride in the rain. Halfway through, I got

about 10 kilometers from home. I was shifting to higher gear. The rear shifter went a little too far up, if you know what I mean. And got caught between the real wheelspokes and completely got tangled in the stook. There I was,

in the middle of busy afternoon commute, all dressed up, without an easy way home. I feel like you're migrating out of Sweden. We're getting closer and closer to the North Pole. I'll eventually be a penguin. This is not un-Belky, this voice. As I had left my wallet home,

fortunately, I remembered that there is a bike repair shop one kilometre away. Fucking hell! So I walked there. The repair guy said he's going to take a couple of days to fix the bike, right? After some discussion about how do I get home, he borrowed me some money for a bus ticket huh he had me bike as a guarantee back in my head i was terrified and very aware of my outfit and how people would react and at the same time really excited i walked to the bus stop

carrying my helmet just to show at least some reason for my outfit. There were more than ten people at the stop, and a couple of them gave really long looks at me. Or at least is how I felt. I was embarrassed, but tried to act like the normal. Finally, the bus came, and I was able to get in and get closer to home. From the closest stop, there was additional one kilometer walk.

This was my first time in Wurrunga out in the public without my bike. And I must say that I was surprised how little other people care. I was of course ultra self-aware,

but I think only a few people out of tens of people paid any attention. On the other hand, I had pretty ordinary gear. Not a joker suit or pink pants with heels or anything. Smiley smiles. While a positive experience, I don't think I'll be doing that on purpose anytime soon.

British guy doing American accent. One of my favorites. Risking that I run into some people I know or recognize me. True story. True story. So that was a story. I ripped my pants while riding a bike. Period.

That is my story. Period. That was it. That is my story. That was it. That is the story that, hey, Bunny Bread, can you make the Cockney guy and the Swedish guy fuck? What did we learn from any of this, F Plus? I want to fuck so many things now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus.

So nothing has changed. Yeah, pretty much. Women are things, right? 45% polyurethane is not rubber. No, no, no. I learned more about sort of like British rainwear than I kind of wanted to learn. I kind of expected it would come up, but I don't want part of my brain to remember these terms for British rainwear, but I guess they're in there now. It's going to come in handy at one of these cocktail parties, though.

It will happen. These are definitely, like, at least one of these people has fretted me and been unfretted me on Twitter. Yeah, the subtitle that Secret Agent gave here was Wet Wellies Wanking. I liked that the people were like,

they didn't seem to be aware that other fetishes existed. Yeah. Like, they were all into this like, this very niche thing, but they had, they seemed to have no idea that this niche thing was niche. And everyone, I mean, we run into this a bunch, and it's, you know, just that general Overton window

that the internet creates, and it's why the internet makes monsters. But, like, everyone in the thing is like, that the internet creates and it's why the internet makes monsters. But like everyone in the thing is like oh yeah, no, we're into the normal shit. Yeah, I mean what the hell's wrong with these weirdos? None of this content drifted into just general feet shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And yet I'm sure they would give shit to a guy who was like into high heels or flats or normal women like dry footwear. This could just be this could just be how like the, you know, Gage

catered the content to us. Oh, well, thank you, Boots, for ruining everything. There was a lot of kind of just like splashing in the rain or whatever, but there's definitely like this I mean, really, really specific aesthetic that they were into.

Like a very, very specific aesthetic that they were into. They watched Fred Astaire do his thing in the rain for a lot. Do you think anyone like came in there and was like, well, okay, so the rain, the PVC raincoat, but did you ever think like PVC pants or something? And like, do you think maybe they got stoned

out of there? Because they're like, no, no, no. That's gross fetish, Terry. You get the fuck out. You're just like Hitler. And we like the boots. Otherwise, go fuck yourself. What the hell is this, man? Pants.

Who fucking wears pants? Can't reach your willy. Also, there are so many women on this fucking show. A lot. Oh, yeah. wears pants can't reach your willy also there are so many women on this oh a lot oh yeah like i feel feel like i've connected with some yeah this is pretty much jezebel isn't it yeah yeah yeah i mean this is i would rather read this than jezebel any day well you're not jerking off to Jezebel right, are you? That's on you. Sounds like you're doing it wrong. Okay.

Our website, as always, is thefpl.us. Boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots. Yes. Boots. What would you say is the best sort of fun? Like sort of fun like general fun

Yeah, like if there was a fun gradient sort of like different manners of fun Yeah, like you don't want too much fun because you'll overwhelm yourself You want like a sous-sant of fun A demi-tasse Yeah, like you don't want too much fun, because you'll overwhelm yourself. You want like a sous-sant of fun.

A sous-sant of fun. A demi-tasse. Why did you buy that? Yeah, I would probably think like a kind of fun. I want something kind of fun. I would go to kind of dot fun. If you wanted a modicum of fun. Yeah.

You can go to kind of dot fun. You can play one of three different games. Two of them are multiplayer. And I am still doing stats so I can see which person on Comparatively Famous is the most overvalued. And market forces dictate that Kevin O'Leary is the most overvalued person on Comparatively Famous. And in general. Followed directly by Mike Jones. They have so much in common. Who's that?

O'Leary! Who? O'Leary! Who? Yeah, you can sign up for that or other things. You could also just check out all the things that Lou is doing. Lou does fun things, and he's a fun guy. I like Lou. Yay, I'm good.

And you should like him on the internet. Be around him. You should send him things on the internet. Lou reads internet. Lou streams on Twitch. I've been streaming mostly on Twitch. You could revisit classic Lou reads on YouTube and these comments. That's true.

They're scheduled one a week through July right now. Wow. Wow. How long did that take? It's taking forever because for some reason this really powerful computer doesn't use all of its CPUs when Final Cut Pro is exported. Well, that's because you're trying to save it for the big one. There you go.

And with that, bye. We're going down like BHS While the able-bodied vultures monitor and pick at us We're going down and it's no stress I'm laying over the knuckle dragging exodus We're going down like BHS While the able-bodied vultures monitor and pick at us We're going down and it's no stress

We're going down and it's no stress. We're going down like VHS.