The F Plus - 36: Not As Funny With The Sound Off
Episode Date: February 18, 2011Welcome to the exciting world of the ANIMATION COMMUNITY! A land of milk, honey, and nasally whines about the artistic merits of Quick Draw McGraw! Did you know that cartoons are the Greatest Ame...rican Artform? Well, they would be, if studios would spend more time worrying about the needs of storyboard artists, and less time foolishly assuming that children are a good audience for this sort of high-brow expressionism. This week, The F Plus explores the world of overly-nostalgic manchildren, and learn that some of them aren't John K..
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Hey there, welcome to UF Plus, terrible things, red with enthusiasm.
My name's Lemon.
And I'm Portax.
And Portax, I have you here as an effort to start the intros here because this is something that you've, that's your specialty. This is your wheelhouse.
Mm-hmm.
Um, what I want to do in episode today is about, uh, animation weirdos.
Uh-huh.
And, uh, can you tell me a little bit about, um, sort of, like, the people that are involved as, like, animation historians?
Uh, yeah, well, see, there's this guy named Michael Barrier.
He's pretty insulted by really new cartoons.
Like, have you ever seen that SpongeBob movie?
Have you ever seen that?
Well, see, that's kind of good,
but that's not quite as good as the old, like,
Betty Boops and Popeyes and stuff, the Fleischer things,
because it's all squash and stretch, right?
And, like, there's also some Simpsons.
You've seen, like, the old Simpsons episodes, right?
Some people consider it a classic.
Well, the thing is, like, they don't really move around enough
for that to be considered true animation.
Oh, and then there's John Crook-Falusi. He. He's like a legend. Like, he created Brennan Stimpy
and the Ripping Prince and things like that. He kind of got kicked
off of his own show for being too much of an asshole.
But, see, everything moved around really fluidly.
Oh, God, you gotta shut up!
Okay.
What? What happened?
So, this is...
So, we're reading weirdos.
Are these people
that have directed cartoons?
Yeah, some of them.
Some of them have worked on cartoons and directed cartoons
and some of them are animation historians.
Okay, how do you get to be an animation historian?
Well, you would think
it would be knowing a lot about animation history,
but really all you really have
to do is just sit on your ass all day and watch
cartoons and then complain that How to train your dragon doesn't quite have the artistic merit of the old Popeye cartoons.
OK, best job.
And it's been it's been 15 years since I knew anything about John Krakowski.
But is he still insane?
Yes, he has gotten
more insane after he...
Yep, yep, yep.
Time without a job, he's spent
all that time posting on a blog about
how the world, how he hasn't gone crazy,
the world actually has.
That's terrific. Alright, well,
then we're gonna read some stuff by some
animation historians, we're gonna read some stuff
by John Kay.
And eventually we'll all put stuff in our butts because that's usually how these things end.
Yep.
Let's get to the reader.
Here in the room tonight we have Boots Comet Rain Gear.
I did a theory post about developmental sketches.
It's theoretical because I myself have never worked professionally in the industry, so my opinion isn't really valid.
Bunny Bread? Hey, Rocky, bend isn't really valid. Bunny bread?
Hey, Rocky! Bend over
for a second. There we go.
Stog?
John?
Fart Cat 3D, coming to
theaters.
Tumquat Sock? Has a middle name, and that middle name is Meaningness. Fart Cat 3D coming to theaters. The tongue quats up.
Has a middle name, and that middle name is Meaningness.
Lemon, lemon, lemon, lemon.
Hi, I'm Lemon!
Oh, we got two lemons. We had like four lemons.
Portax.
This Portax model sheet isn't funny enough.
Work on it again for another 30 years.
And me, Jack Chick.
I actually just want to start out with a rant against a cartoon by a guy named Amid.
Oh, yes.
Is this the India thing?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, yeah, there's this crappy CG animal movie, Bollywood-style animal movie, called Roadside Romeo, and Disney released it in India.
And Amit is under the impression that the film was a huge hit in India, and so he writes this open letter to India, the Indian people.
Indian people accidentally enjoy
Roadside Romeo
by Amid.
Disney's Roadside Romeo
has opened in India, and it's a huge
hit. Let me repeat that.
It's a huge hit.
It's not a huge hit.
Let me repeat.
He repeated it, though.
I'm sorry.
According to a Disney exec, in its first four days, it exceeded the entire Indian gross of the Incredibles.
This means only one thing.
The population of India is clearly not ready yet for animated films.
It's hard science.
It's hard science. It's understandable.
I mean, didn't they just introduce automobiles into the country last year or something?
I don't know.
Yes, that's certainly the case.
They like a cartoon I don't like.
They say it.
They're living like savages over there in the dark.
So, here's my proposal.
All animation should be immediately
removed from the nation of India. Simple.
What?
I see they don't have
cars, so they can't have
cartoons.
You need the first part of the word
before you get a compound word.
I've written a letter outlining the plan.
Dear people of India, as of tomorrow, anything animated, whether CG, stop motion, flash, or drum,
will be taken off of your airwaves and out of your theaters.
Additionally, any DVDs containing animation can be dumped in useless neighboring countries like Pakistan or Bangladesh.
Wow. Oh, God. I just put myself on the edge, guys.
Oh, Jesus.
If they didn't have cars before, how are they
able to get DVDs?
They have trains. They're not
living completely out there.
Connect himself.
They get dropped by
air and people scramble for them.
Yeah, the Garuda showed up. Yeah, the Garuda showed up
and dropped them all there.
Have you ever seen the movie Operation Dumbo Drop?
We certainly have not.
It's literally Operation Drop
copies of Dumbo onto the...
They fall
accidentally like Coke bottles.
Furthermore,
a moratorium will be placed on any
animation currently being produced in India.
Send your animators home.
Trust me, nobody wants to see this crap anyways.
As part of your cartoon re-education, all children's toys based on cartoon characters must be traded in within 72 hours for books about Renaissance painting and storytelling.
How-tos by Robert McKee. Renaissance painting and storytelling. How-to's by Robert McKee.
Renaissance painting and Robert McKee.
They're just all of us.
I mean, that makes a lot of sense, though,
because really the Indian people just need a lot more white history.
That would fix the might of it.
Yeah, you know what would do India a world of good?
Intrusive Western culture.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know what would do India a world of good?
Intrusive Western culture. Yeah.
Clearly it does not have enough.
Of course not.
As a goodwill
gesture, we will also
ship you Richard Williams, who will
conduct his popular masterclass
in India's 200 largest cities.
Who the hell is Richard Williams?
And just a note, Richard Williams is the guy who directed the animation for Roger Rabbit.
And also, he had his own animated film that he worked on for literally 30 years.
And it sucks.
And he couldn't stop tinkering with it.
And yeah, first of all, it sucks.
And secondly, whenever the investors were like, you have literally been wasting our money for 30 years.
You finished this cartoon now.
And they took it from him and they finished it.
He was like, oh, they took it from me and made it
all stupid.
They finished it.
We'll try the plan for two years. Don't worry.
Good ideas like this take time.
Yes, good ideas.
Quite used to them.
When the five people
of India feel they're good and ready
to respect the animation art form, I will
personally...
I thought we told you that these guys
consider themselves artists.
I will personally send over a print
of One Froggy Evening.
Like what America likes, India.
If you enjoy that more than you did
Roadside Romeo, we'll send you
Dumbo the following month.
And if you act now, we'll throw in Who Framed Roger Rabbit,
according to...
Oh, God.
If you still enjoy Roadside Romeo,
we'll take more drastic measures,
like defrosting Walt and sending him over to help you see the light.
I...
He's just going to throw his corpse...
Ah!
Zombie Disney hate all brown people!
They're just going to throw his animated corpse in front of a house just to send him a warning.
Stop liking Roadside Romeo!
I say, these paintings by Donatello don't seem to measure up to this Dumbo cartoon.
don't seem to measure up to this Dumbo cartoon.
Either way,
you'll finally be able to see
that your enthusiasm for Roadside Romeo
was one huge, terrible
fucking mistake. Don't feel
too bad, however. Even animation
savvy countries make mistakes sometimes.
That fucking links to Japan, doesn't it?
Probably.
It's possible.
No, it's America.
No, it? Probably. Hang on. It's possible. Oh, no. No, it's America. No, it's Fox.
Ho, ho, ho.
Oh, eh.
Because he doesn't like
Family Guy, you see.
Oh, okay.
Not because of the jokes,
but because the animation
isn't good enough.
Yeah, that's why
we all tune in
to the brilliant Family Guy.
Oh, trust me,
the stuff you see later.
Do we have a deal, India?
Let me know
when you have a moment.
We'll go to In-N-Out afterwards
to celebrate. He's going to invite
India over to have a burger.
Wow.
In-N-Out burgers can be kind of expensive.
Wow, I bet this one's huge. It's got like
ten patties. I bet this is like your entire
family history.
Good.
I've got a better idea for this.
Why don't we take a powerful Western nation to colonize India for, say, 90 years?
Wait.
Hey, we've already done that.
It sounds pretty good.
It sounds pretty good.
I don't remember who, but I don't know who it is.
Let's see how this turns out.
Sounds good.
We're just spitballing here, but we can adjust.
Sincerely, Cartoon Brew.
So, yeah. So, yeah.
Cartoon Brew, something to note about this website is that Cartoon Brew is actually really popular in the animation community.
And this man, Amid, is a very popular guy in the animation community.
This isn't just some random weirdo.
This is a popular random weirdo.
Oh.
Yeah.
And also, the other thing to note is the plot twist here is
the movie actually did very poorly in India.
So he wrote
this for no reason.
He just went on this racist tangent for no reason.
Oh, that's excellent.
Next up is Michael Barrier.
And this is a man with a face.
He has a good face.
You're about to enjoy his face.
Oh, SpongeBob coming to you.
Ah!
He made SpongeBob jump out of his goddamn...
We'll just scroll down
a little bit there.
His face is so big he couldn't fit it in the banner.
I didn't know
Robert Zadar had an alter ego.
No, it's John Lithgow after a cocaine bitch.
And Botox.
You're Big Face Man.
I am Big Face Man.
Fear me.
My name is Michael Barrier,
and my brain is so large that my head won't fit on your screen.
Commentary.
Spongebath.
I saw
the Spongebob
Squarepants movie
early one recent afternoon
at a private screening.
It wasn't supposed to be a
private screening, mind you.
It just worked out that way.
I was the only person in the theater.
It wasn't really screening this movie, was it?
Because no one wanted to sit behind my huge head.
After the movie, my head was buzzing.
Many questions.
How many questions can fit in that head anyways?
Very loud buzzing.
Questions inspired by the previews as it happens rather than the feature.
Why will Pooh's Heffalump movie, a new Disney excrescence,
as a title card
puts it, only in
theatres.
Only in theatres.
Why not? Only in
theatres!
Jesus Christ.
Are we supposed to connect that vaguely British spelling with Winnie the Pooh's upper crust
origin?
That's how the word is spelled in the rest of the world and where the book comes from.
I submit that children aren't going to give a fuck either way.
God damn it but the most important
such question
colon
why would anyone whose brain has not
been surgically removed
and replaced with mashed
potatoes
consider for a second going to see the film called
Racing Stripes.
I don't know.
This has
nothing to do with it. We haven't even gotten to the movie
review yet.
To judge from the preview, it's a
disgusting, babe-like
concoction
of a zebra
that becomes a racehorse
in which real animals
with computer-manipulated mouths
speak with the voices
of movie stars.
But there have been
at least a dozen movies like that.
Yeah, Babe is
just reviled utterly.
Who
exactly would
be interested in going and seeing
a children's movie?
I don't even know.
I know there was nobody else
in the theater because
family would walk in and they'd just see this guy in the middle
of the theater standing up going,
That's bullshit!
Get away from the crazy man.
Let's go to Raising Stripes.
I think this guy really hates those E-Trade baby commercials
his mouth is moving
but it's not
Mr. Ed is chewing cod damn it
Has the world been waiting to hear Dustin Hoffman
as the voice of some animal?
I think I have.
I personally have.
My hand on my dick the whole time.
Oh, yes!
The SpongeBob SquarePants movie.
He completely forgot he was reviewing it.
Oh, yeah, the movie.
Oh, yeah, the movie.
I thought it went straight downhill.
As well as underwater!
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, but the next part is great.
After the funny opening business with live-action pirates,
it's an honest-to-goodness television cartoon, folks,
just on a bigger screen.
And that means ipso facto,
it almost certainly could never amount to much.
Yeah, you tell him, big-headed.
Oh, but I say that not out of snobbery.
Oh, good thing you said that, because I was thinking.
Where TV in general is concerned,
but from the belief that TV is a rigorous medium in its way?
In its way.
Sure.
After almost 60 years of the medium's existence as a vehicle for popular entertainment,
I think it's clear that it's possible to do only a few things really well for television.
Sports is one. Situation comedy is another.
We haven't gotten to the movie part.
Sitcoms are truly...
It would be a ridiculous idea.
I don't think anyone has ever
seriously suggested one,
but a self-contained Seinfeld
half-hour could be heavenly.
And often was.
Oh, Lord.
This is the type of material we're working with.
On the other hand, I can't think of
a TV western that was ever much
good.
What is going on?
That's why no one ever watched them.
And the same
as true of TV animation, even the best of it, like The Simpsons.
Turn the sound off during a Simpsons episode and there's not much to laugh at.
That's the weakness of the form.
No, no, no.
Well, see, no, no, no.
You see, that's actually, this is very important because this is the common belief of the animation industry slash community is if a cartoon is not bouncing around and moving like crazy and things like that, then it's not real animation.
So the Simpsons, Simpsons is not considered real animation because you're not using animation enough because they rely on dialogue and smart writing and stuff.
So the most popular example of animation that's ever existed
is not a good example of animation?
Well, no, the only good examples would be, like,
really old, like, Betty Boops and Popeyes and things like that.
I was about to say that The Simpsons really needs
some lengthy rotoscoped Cab Calloway segments.
Yeah, if a cartoon doesn't look like
jelly character,
Ren and Stimpy bullshit the entire time,
then it's pointless.
Totally worthless.
He goes further into this, too, so come on.
Jay Ward.
Early Hanna-Barbera.
All the things usually cited as exceptional
TV cartoons. Wait, exceptional? Hanna-Barbera, all the things usually cited as exceptional TV cartoons.
Wait, exceptional? Hanna-Barbera,
exceptional. Oh, yes, they love
Hanna-Barbera. Yogi and Pixie and Dixie
and all that shit. Jesus.
I will agree with the argument
that early Hanna-Barbera was good stuff.
Shut up.
No, I won't agree with you.
They really weren't all that good to begin with,
except by comparison with the even worse stuff surrounding them,
and they haven't held up.
I watched those cartoons when they were new, and I liked them a lot,
but watching Rocky and his friends or Huckleberry Hound now is painful.
Wait, and the next part is great.
I have higher hopes
for the Simpsons' durability,
but not much higher.
Any day now.
It'll only last
like 23 or 24 seasons.
Yeah, you know.
Ultimately, it all
comes back to the animation.
There's a threshold below which a character's movement is so conspicuously mechanical,
so obviously the product of some industrial process,
rather than the movement initiated by the character itself,
that interest in the character as a character is unavoidably defeated.
That sure was a sentence.
unavoidably defeated.
That sure was a sentence.
Interest has to light elsewhere,
on the dialogue particularly.
Oh, no!
Right, not real animation.
Unless its author is someone like Oscar Wilde.
Oscar Wilde, well known for his many cartoons.
Oscar Wilde would have made terrible cartoons You see, there were the old Greek comedies
and there were Oscar Wilde and then comedy was done
That's it
It stopped
No, he keeps going with that sentence
Just an endless cynical
shorts about the
triviality of marriage
Exactly
Either this cartoon goes
or I do.
Witty dialogue depends
heavily on its cultural context
and so it tends to go bad
about as quickly as fresh milk.
Well, I didn't know fresh milk went bad.
Thanks for telling me, though.
Michael Maltese
was a great cartoon writer, but
you can't tell it from his Hanna-Barbera work.
His dialogue is much funnier.
War bros where Chuck Jones drawings are doing the heaviest lifting.
Wait,
what?
Because like I said,
only the movement that the actual cartoon characters counts.
So the writing doesn't.
That's such a,
that's such a mean thing to say.
Hey,
you know when your writing was best,
when you didn't really write any words, that's when your writing was best? When you didn't really write any words
That's when your writing was great
Yeah, it's called animation, not write-a-mation
Exactly
Television animation, like stop motion animation
And computer animation
Suffers animation from a partial paralysis
That even someone as gifted as Brad Bird can finesse
But not quite defeat
That paralysis has different origins.
In TV animation, it has always originated in tight budgets and the resulting need to conserve drawings.
Where in stop motion and computer animation, it's the byproduct of manipulating solid forms that by their nature can't admit of much flexibility.
flexibility.
How can a computer animated character
go off-model for
expressive purposes?
Oh, Jesus. Yep.
By somebody bending polygons around.
Okay, never mind. Sorry.
I answered the question.
Limitations on freedom of movement,
limitations that originate externally rather than in artist decisions,
are always debilitating wherever they come from.
I don't know what that means.
Nope.
I haven't followed one sentence since the opening.
When is he going to talk about Spongebob?
Is he talking about Spongebob?
When is he going to talk about Spongebob?
When is he going to talk about how awesome John Chris Felucci is.
Oh, you want to do that?
Okay, go to the one striking thing.
Go down to that paragraph.
Spongebob's pants are square.
They can't off-model when he gets a motor.
The one striking thing about SpBob SquarePants movie and TV show is how thoroughly its creator,
Steven Hillenburg, has absorbed the influence of John Crickfalusi's original Ren and Stimpy.
Yay! One of the few TV cartoons that demands serious attention!
One of the few TV cartoons that demand serious attention.
So did people sit around with cigars saying,
oh, the episode where Stimpy farts and then chases it for 30 minutes was comedy gold.
I totally heard some cognac.
The episode where Stimpy danced on his butt
and ran and hit himself in the head with a hammer.
Classic.
The Crickfaloozie influence shows up in drawings
that are sometimes physically extreme.
Bulging eyeballs, scraggly teeth,
compared with the character's usual appearance.
The movie has its fart and bathroom gags, too.
Yay! So ubiquitous now in children's films that it's hard to give john cray much credit or blame for them oh he invented putty humor too
with crick falusi though there was no usual appearance for his characters and his drawings
always seemed to be straining at the leash. Watching Ren
and Stimpy was as scary, as exciting
as being trapped in an elevator with
somebody suffering from a particularly
severe case of Tourette's Syndrome.
What was it?
It was, it was exhilarating.
It was exhilarating,
what are you talking about? There was always
the sense that some sickening,
obscene outburst lay just ahead.
In his newest R&S cartoons, the outbursts have come, and they're just as sickening and depressing as I might have feared.
There's no mistaking Steven Hillenburg for a mental case, though.
He's just a nice boy who's having fun talking a little dirty.
Wow.
What?
Your metal arm fell apart.
Wait, wait.
Oh, don't you.
So here's a complaint that the guy creating the children's film isn't, is sound of mind.
Right.
The guy making the cartoon doesn't have Tourette's.
This is a problem.
Yeah.
Oh, but the next paragraph. Okay. This is a problem. Yeah. Oh, but the next paragraph is the best paragraph ever.
I've never been quite clear on why Spongebob was a favorite in the gay community,
but maybe I finally figured it out.
I saw one twink once wearing a Spongebob shirt and you were like,
there we go!
I'm onto something here!
Detective cartoons on the case!
Detective cartoons!
Detective cartoons!
Michael Ferrier!
He's just watching
Big Game N12 going, what does this do with Spongebob? he's just watching big he's just watching
big gay man 12
going what does this do
with spongebob
what's the connection
his head is so large
because it's full of secrets
that should be a tagline
on his blog
okay
the glimpse of spongebob's yellow butt is a false clue tagline on his blog. Okay.
The glimpse of Spongebob's yellow
butt is a false clue,
I think, as even the scene
in which Spongebob's starfish
friend Patrick carries a Spongebob
banner clenched in his
buttocks. Typical gay behavior.
Spongebob and Patrick
seem to be analogs for those unattractive,
clueless fanboys who always manage to find one another, usually at a comic book store or a comics convention.
And all too easily imagine how these two almost sexless characters could accidentally start playing with each other's privates and eventually...
Wait, Citrus, hold it in.
Keep going.
And eventually turn into
flaming queens!
On your mistake!
Guys, don't start this parade!
Oh no, Jimmy.
I stuck Spider-Man number one in my pants.
You better get it out before the condition decreases.
This cartoon has a butt in it.
I can see why gays would like it.
This guy hates nerds.
I can't even...
Like, that entire paragraph is like...
Oh my god, there's two kids at a comics convention.
I'm gonna imagine them make it out.
And it's their fault.
They always seem to find each other.
Why didn't they even find me?
You're so sexy.
Okay, okay, okay.
Stop that.
The end of it, Yig.
Go, go, go on.
That's sort of funny, I suppose.
Sure.
But I sure was glad to see the pirates come back after the end credits.
If those clowns turn up in a movie of their own, I'll buy a ticket.
But only if there's no preview of racing stripes on the program once is enough.
You have to imagine him buying his tickets.
Now, guys...
Now, I will not be watching Racing Stripes.
You assure me, right now.
What preview will be in the beginning
of this film?
So, by this review, what do you guys
think the Spongebob movie is about?
What can you...
By the Pittsburgh ratingatings, I think
that was a 6.87.
I think the Spongebob movie
is about comic book nerds
making out with each other.
At least that's what I'm told.
And I'm told. I mean, I'm in
now.
Okay, so we
discussed John Crickfaluski.
Let's actually read something by the man himself.
You're all familiar with the cartoon Ripping Friends, right?
I am not.
Okay, Ripping Friends is about four muscular guys who punch and fight crime or whatever,
and it was incredibly horrible and stupid.
And, yeah, it was just dumb.
Yeah, and it
had John Crick Felucci's
signature character,
Jimmy the Idiot Boy.
Also, The Ripping Friends
starred four people who were
all Kirk Douglas.
Alright, so, Mr. Jack Chick.
Yes. Mr. Jack Chick. I've always considered myself a champion of the audience.
While most of the industry
conspires against being nice to humans,
I fight to appeal
to normal human desires.
I don't succeed
every single time, but at least
I try.
You don't succeed in fighting or going
with your own urges?
I'm sorry.
This guy smells terrible.
When I do kids cartoons,
I aim to give kids what everyone
else refuses to.
Like, can you actually imagine
a superhero cartoon
where the characters actually punch
anybody? Well, I
had to fight executives for even the
very few punches that appeared in a show
about a genre that is all about punching.
Clearly a champion
of the very dangerous
punch genre. In the Ripping Friends, a show that had many
conspiring forces against it,
I purposely crafted
a segment to let the kids know that
Spumco cartoonists were on their
side. I came up
with a concept called Rip Along
with the Ripping Friends.
In each of these sequences,
kids would write the Ripping Friends
to tell them who was being mean to them
this week. Bullies,
teachers,
networks, cartoon
writers, parents,
homework assignments,
lumpy toy makers,
etc.
The ripping friends would read the kids'
complaints, empathize,
and then go after the monsters
who dared to be mean to them.
Oh, God.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Cereal companies are mean now,
but they used to love kids.
Nowadays, they just rape children.
Tony the Tiger says, eat cookie flakes.
Cereal companies used to love kids.
Now it's all about the money.
It was much better back in the 80s
when there were no toy commercials anyway.
Yeah, for sure.
I'm sure he's talking about the 60s.
Well, y'all joke, but you haven't seen the commercial where the
Trix rabbit just shoots the kids.
It's really rough.
They used to cover their
cereal boxes with great
cartoon art, games, and cut-out activities.
They made great entertaining animated commercials.
They sponsored cartoon shows on TV.
They cut out every single nugget of cereal with glorious sparkly sugar.
But the thing they did best was they put prizes in every cereal box.
That's when you bought the cereal
for the prizes.
Probably.
In this
particular rip-along,
the ripping friends try to find out
who's responsible for not putting real
prizes in cereal anymore,
and then they rectify the affront.
I guess there's a video prizes in cereal anymore, and then they rectify the affront. Oh.
I guess there's a video
like this? Yeah, there's a
video, but yeah.
I'm not going to watch
that video.
The rest of this is kind of hard
to tell what it is without the pictures.
Can I just say that my favorite thing about that
was in Jack's
churlish drawl, it sounded like the Rape Along Friends.
The Rape Friends. They rape children.
Who are mean to them.
But there are a couple comments. For example,
Boots, will you take this one
from Trevor?
Trevour.
Trevour.
I'm Trevour. I bet Trevour goes Trevour. Trevour. Hi, I'm Trevour.
I bet Trevour goes to a theater.
I'm Trevour.
I'm in Canada.
I watched and taped every single episode of The Ripping Friends as they aired each Saturday morning.
In fact, I still remember the first episode airing the Saturday immediately following 9-11.
Pause for drama.
Never forget!
Never forget!
I will never forget.
And it was the first thing that cheered me up
after such a crummy week.
How's your week been?
Bad.
America got attacked.
Here's a cartoon.
9-11 was an inside cereal box job.
There was no prize inside the World Trade Center.
Nor were all the people covered in sugar.
Glorious sparkly sugar.
I also remember wanting to write to the Ripping Friends
in the guise of a kid, of course.
Oh, God.
So this guy was an adult when he watched it.
This is the first thing to get him going.
This is his pillar of strength when he was 30.
So I could possibly have my letter
ripped along with the Ripping Friends as well.
My friend Jeff...
That's Jeff with a single F.
And I bought
Ripping Friends...
My friend Jeff and I bought Ripping Friends
t-shirts the moment we saw them on display
at a Hot Topic store a few weeks later.
I had that Ripping Friends printoutshirts the moment we saw them on display at a Hot Topic store a few weeks later. I had
that Ripping Friends printout from the Fox
Kids website hanging on the cubicle of my
job at the time. Nobody came
by my cubicle. I wonder why.
He's a
middle-aged man that goes to Hot Topic
and watches Ripping Friends.
He has a friend who does it. I'm going to guess
that these two sexless, near-sexless
things touched each other.
You're really straight, guys.
Getting back to the animation part, I could always tell what was John Kay or John Smith drawings and what wasn't.
Sorry, Jim Smith.
And what wasn't.
It's rather obvious.
Question John,
who animated the pain machine
scene with Rip.
He was able to tell everybody, except for that scene.
That's good.
With Rip and
Jimmy, in particular, when Rip is getting
shocked to high heaven.
That was some fantastic animation.
That could have been done by the Lumpy Crew.
Or was it you? I miss the
ripping friends.
I bet you do.
Much love, Trevur.
Trevur.
Weird man.
Trevur.
Okay, here's one by R, if you want to take that, John.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
R said, in the late 90s, early 00s,
they reintroduced the serial
Golden Nuggets over here in the UK
for about the first year of production,
maybe a little longer. They used great
retro-style boxes with cartoons
drawn in a somewhat Bill Ray-ish
style. Comics on the back,
puzzles on the sides, collectible box
tops for stuff like Klondike Peak
beanie toys,
and actual prizes inside.
Not ones relating to current movies or whatever, but toys relating to the world they were setting up for the characters.
And the TV commercials were actual cartoons.
Unlike The Simpsons.
This guy's got reams of fan fiction written
about this.
Then they realize that's not how
things are done anymore, and they can
the idea, redesign the boxes
using a horrible Hallmark
card redesign of the characters,
and I stopped buying the
cereal. I still have
all my boxes from the good old days,
though, I think.
Not to mention, I got diabetes.
This cereal doesn't have retro style
art on it. Fuck it, it doesn't taste
good anymore.
This is
a Twitter
from the man who is the creator of Earthworm Jim and the Neverhood and some more things.
That's a name.
And he has some views.
He's got views.
Well, I really enjoyed both the video game and the cartoon series when I was a kid of Earthworm Jim.
Surely he will now live up to my expectations as a great person.
Earthworm Jim is so wacky, I bet his Twitter is silly.
Yeah, sure, I'm sure he's a fun guy.
Doc, do you want to start this out here?
Okay.
Since there is a link between fat cells and estrogen production,
is obesity a part of what keeps America liberal?
Zero!
Jack likes it.
That's because conservatives are never fat.
It's also
conservatives are never women.
Liberals are fat and weak
like women.
Okay, okay, okay.
Thank God for bringing Obama
to the presidency.
Sorry, King Abdullah
from WikiLeaks.
Zing!
Can we get like some boings
instead of boing?
You know he actually said zing
as soon as he clicked the...
I've never tweeted,
so does it just say tweet?
What's the button?
I'm assuming it says tweet.
Here's the tweet button.
This next one's sassy.
Aussie man
marries dog. Are we
racist enough to
prevent them from serving openly
in the military?
Who am I to judge?
Boyer!
Gay marriage is just like
marrying a dog.
He could be a wacky cartoon fox.
It's a
wacky cartoon fox that shoots cheese
out of a can and also he hates
gays.
I had lunch W. Rick Santorum
today across the street
from the White House. Great guy!
Da da da da
da da da da da da da da.
Oh my god.
Alright, next up.
Palin needs to convert to Islam
so she'd be the last person
blamed for inspiring the
Arizona shooting.
Pew, pew, pew.
No, that makes sense.
Nobody was looking at Muslims.
Because liberals go so
soft on Islamic
people that they would never blame Palin
if only she was Islamic. Just because she's
white.
I got press release.
The shooter was white and
published his inspiration.
You're only saying that just because you hate white people.
We don't know that the shooter was white.
Why didn't they blame Muslims for that?
He makes a good point.
Message to military
after WikiLeaks bullying.
It gets better.
Hoorah!
Take that, gay people!
I can't even laugh at that.
Hey, gay people
trying to get self-esteem.
Ha ha ha.
Taylor Swift
special made me go from being
a fan to being nazi-ed
by her and the conversion of her into a prop.
Boing, boing.
I liked Taylor Swift back when she was underground.
Yeah.
I liked her when she had shit to say.
When she had cogent points about society.
Does anybody understand what he's talking about?
No.
No, I thought he literally meant like she was the front of a prop plane.
They just taped two Taylor Swifts together.
No, no.
She's very tall and skinny.
They used her to hold up a cardboard tree.
Okay.
Wait, let me pick up the phone.
Just holding Taylor Swift to your ear.
Wait, let me pick up the phone.
Just holding Taylor Swift to your ear.
Disneyland being allowed to build in China will break their oppressive commie spell.
It's like giving Hellboy Pam cakes.
We win.
And the star spangled...
What is that even...
Okay, first, what's a pancake?
Because Hellboy, it's a nerd joke.
Hellboy really likes pancakes a lot.
But what's a pancake?
Is this going to take a while?
Either it's a pancake, or it's how he used to say it when Hellboy was a kid.
I don't quite remember.
Hang on a second.
Hang on a second.
Is Portak's a nerd?
Is this a nerd?
No, I play all of the sports.
Shut up.
I choose the puck into the basket the most times.
Since we are all jocks here, I say we kick her out.
A 13-year-old can't get a Happy Meal in San Francisco because it's bad. But she can get an abortion.
She can have sex,
but not a cigarette.
Woo!
Woo!
You're about told.
You should read this last few
though, because he posts about this
several times. Oh, wow.
Yeah, read the time and date.
10.51 a.m.
November 5th, 2010.
San Francisco is only opposed to murder
because it could lead to buying a Happy Meal with a toy in it.
Read the time, Stog.
10.57 a.m., November 5th, 2010.
Okay, so six minutes later.
That first joke sucked, but
his second joke is much worse. Let's see
what happens next.
11.01 a.m.
November 5th, 2010.
Here we go.
Sad Fran Bantz Happy Meal
rolls out the new Angry
Bitch Meal.
I don't like you anymore.
Alright, that one was slightly better.
And that was how many minutes later?
That was four minutes.
Yeah, four minutes later.
A little one.
It just went to the same minute.
He had
30 seconds.
The first 30 seconds was that one.
The first half of the minute was that one
and then now it's this one.
I'd just like to imagine that he was sitting there getting more and more
worked up as he thought about Happy Meals
and saying...
It's no better cereal toys.
11 to 1 AM, yes at the same time,
November 5th, 2010,
if only
Happy Meals came with a sexual toy,
San Francisco would say banning them was unconstitutional.
Yay!
Yay, more hating
on gay people!
Yay.
In fairness, that's the funniest version
of that joke that he had.
He finally found one that almost works.
He finally went, alright, that's
the confines of a joke I've done.
I don't understand why you're saying that's a joke, though.
Because, you know, as the resident San Franciscan here, that's really how we think.
Yeah, I know.
We make fun of you for this, though. Were you not aware of that?
I don't understand why.
Look, do you or do you not have dildos in your Happy Meals?
San Francisco Pelosi!
Do you or do you not have dildos in your Happy Meals?
San Francisco Pelosi!
They won't ban the penis because it'd be unconstitutional!
And there we go!
An hour or so of whatever the fuck that was.
John, what do you think we learned this week?
Well, I know what I learned this week and that is that man,
children,
the, the,
the thing,
man,
children just basically span all generations.
Like whether it was about old Hanna-Barbera cartoons then,
or whatever,
I don't know,
anime now,
it's just the same kind of,
Oh,
my time was great.
And I love nostalgia and everything else new and by black people sucks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's pretty much just exactly the same.
Yeah, spanning
kind of class, and I was
going to say spanning race, but
it's always dudes.
Pretty much, yeah.
Portex, what do you think you learned this week?
Well, I learned something that I already know,
really. Okay, what would that be?
Well, it's kind of that,
you know, Richard Williams' Thief in the Cobbler got started
whenever about 30 years ago, and he started on that, and he wanted to make a race of super
animators, because TV animation kind of was getting too far derived from feature animation,
so it wasn't being as good.
So he tried to train a bunch of great people so that way he could make his movie, but he
started funding it with the money he got from Hooper and Roger Rabbit, but then Miramax
took over, and then they had to recut the movie so they could give it a story, because
for the most part, the movie didn't have much of a story, just about the animation.
Okay, shut up.
But then he got really upset because I...
Shut up. Shut up.
Well, it's...
Shut up! Shut up!
Please follow us on the Facebook, Twitter, the website, thfbl.us.
We'll see you next time. Have a great one.
Thanks for listening. And now, what was that about, Richard Williams?
Well, you see, Richard Williams...
Oh, God, shut up!
I wasn't able to find this for this,
but there was a time when Michael Barrier
gets into an argument with John Kirk Felucci
over Ren and Stimpy, and
John K., honest to Christ,
says, no, people didn't watch Ren and Stimpy
for the boogers and fart jokes. Those are just throwaway
gags. They came for it for the acting.
The great acting of the characters.
So,
just saying.
The acting?
Yeah, the acting. Because Stimpy acted
because the way Stimpy's face contorted when he farted is just great acting.
So they actually used a dog and cat for Ren and Stimpy.
Oh, yeah.
That was a documentary.
It was live action.
What kind of dog does Ren become?
All right.
All right.
Put your face up to the camera and then have the cat fart.
Okay, I'm done.
Moving on.
That was your directing debut and finale,
stog.
Yeah, it does get much better than that.
I'm done here.
You know what?
I want to have that as like a sound file on my phone
so that it doesn't
play into people out of context.
There's context?