The F Plus - 374: This One Is Mainly About Butt Chugging

Episode Date: July 15, 2022

Health & wellness is a complicated issue, and so is the butthole, but fortunately this is an issue that combines both those things. This is an episode of enema recipes - from coffee to dish soap to cocaine, and all points in between, and we're going to have a whole lot of fun with this until Auntie Flo shows up. Also apparently Lemon is a boomer for the first half of this episode? Gross. This week, The F Plus takes a handful of Debbie Downers.

Clap us in, Boots. Let's read some enema recipes. Oh, yeah. Up my ass. Oh, I looked at my waveform. That was a sloppy clap. Nothing unsexier than a sloppy clap. I'll dub in a good clap you did in the previous episode. Up my ass. Up my ass. Up my ass.

A lit candle. Up my ass. Oh, watch your ass. It's the F Plus Podcast. A terrible place with terrible butt puns, and we've got things red with enthusiasm. In the room tonight we have Boots Reingear. Madge, it's soaked in me.

Kumquats up. And if you do have heavy metals, as most people do these days, then you can remove it naturally with coffee enemas. Jack chick. Needless to say, not all doctors are bad. I know that. Most are good, decent people. Their problem as a collective group is that they are closed-minded regarding alternative

medicines, herbs included. Anyway, in July 2008, I had some pictures taken. Shell game! Some women are just bitches, I guess. Dijon du jour! You get to watch the waste leaving you as it goes through the machine. At one point, I think I saw a goji berry. Ew, gross.

Just a friendly reminder, I need to chew better. Tee hee. And lemon. If you're feeling tired, it could mean you have an overload of toxins, and people will do one coffee enema a day until they feel better, and then do a maintenance coffee enema afterwards. Hey, F+. Up my ass! Step right up! Step right up! Come on! Come on! Up my ass! Hey, F+.

Oh, hello. Hi. Whoa, whoa. Hi, hi, hi. Hey, are you all feeling hungry today? No. Starving. Yeah.

Oh, hi, Lemon. I like food. All right, all right. Lots of different reactions, and I get to respond to them all. So if you'll just line up, take a number, we'll come up with an entertaining quip for each of your non-responses. Here we go. No, I wanted to bring you a recipe document because, as you all know, you know, as you sort of like mature in life, you know, it becomes really good to, you know, sort of like, you know, source your own ingredients and kind of like come up with some recipes and make –

So we're reading preambles. Make something really, really delicious that you can shove into your anus. So to that end. Wait. Hold on. Hold on. I have a document here given to us by Cat Examiner. And thank you so much, Cat Examiner, for this.

Thanks, Cat Examiner. Thanks. Thanks, Cat Examiner. Cat Examiner says, Lemon and fellow readers, I thought it was time for y'all to get a recipe doc, so here you go. The theme is butt stuff. I'm not sorry. And there is a PS, so happy news for you, Jack Chick. Cat Examiner adds, PS, I did not find a night before Christmas on Boofing.

Well, time to go home. So that means that I am the first person to say boof-smiss? Congratulations. So we're going to start off here. We are on the health board. That's a fun place, www.thehealthboard.com. And I just want to start off here by saying, coffee may be used to make an enema.

Coffee may be used to make an enema. What are the different types of enema recipes? With pictures. So many different enema recipes exist for a variety of different purposes. While many people find that a simple water enema is sufficient to cleanse a colon, jerk off motion, there are a variety of other substances

that can be used to achieve different effects. For instance, a coffee enema is thought to be detoxifying, whereas a chamomile enema is thought to be relaxing. Thought to be. Very soothing. Thought to be. Okay. Some people say. People are saying.

People are saying this. A lot of people are talking about this. It is very important to verify that any enema recipe used is safe because the body can absorb liquids and other substances from the colon. Herbal tea may be used to make an enema. Herbal tea may be used to make an enema. One of the most popular enema recipes is the coffee enema. So forget that thing about the herbal tea. Yeah.

Most people use organic, unflavored coffee, pruned and purified. Unflavored coffee. Oh, so it's not French vanilla. Yeah, so like, not French vanilla. Not a single pump of flavor.

Can I use 7-Eleven coffee to give myself an enema? Yeah, it's nice and not scaldingly hot, so I think you're in pretty good shape. I've been doing the things where I'll just jam the Nescafe pot in my head. Little curry butt plug. out of my ass. Little curry butt plug. The coffee should be brewed as normal with the ground strained out, then allowed to cool completely, and then it can just be used

like water in the enema process. The use of herbal teas is also popular for enemas. It is thought that the properties the tea would normally have when taken orally are also true of the tea when taken rectally. It is thought.

It is thought. It's too bad that Victor's not here, so I can't ask him which side of the colon my intestines are on. So we'll never know. Anyway. KMLT recipes.

Where was I? A lemon juice enema. Oh god! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh wow! Sometimes you just need a little zip to wake up A lemon juice enema may be mildly irritating to the intestines

But is thought to balance out the pH of the colon Balance with what? What's on the other end of the teeter-totter? Yeah, the famously basic colon Yeah, my colon's so basic My colon is so full of alkaline. I could use that shit as a

fucking battery. I have been douching with baking stuff though, so. It may cause cramping, which is often considered desirable for enemas. What? Yeah, cramping is desirable. A lemon juice enema is prepared by juicing and straining two organic lemons,

then mixing the juice with a numb warm water to fill the bag. If the mixture is too harsh, it is a good idea to expel the liquid early rather than face extended discomfort. And then in extreme cases, some people use cayenne pepper enemas for a variety of health problems. This recipe, I gotta warn you, I gotta warn you up front, Jack Chick, uh, cause I don't want you to go into this thing completely blind.

Right? So, so, uh. Right, no, I have to watch the liquid go into my anus properly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, butthole emptor. Uh, This recipe will almost certainly burn. Really?

Really. But cayenne pepper enthusiasts claim that it relieves arthritis. Arthritis of the butthole? Yeah, that's good. I can no longer hold a pencil in my butthole. It lowers cholesterol and it even heals wounds of the butthole.

Light, minor, major. Okay, so I'm feeling like maybe we need to make a fantasy video game and the healing spells are all cayenne pepper enemas. like a fantasy video game and the healing spells are all cayenne pepper enemas. Yeah. That, that would be, that would be pretty good. Like, like a full on,

just, just like default, like nothing interesting about it. Like RPG maker, uh, role playing game. Yeah. Except for,

except for every potion is an enema. Yeah. I mean, I mean, some say that potions have the same effect when taken rectally when they do orally. Oh, no. My party member has fallen.

I need to jam a phoenix feather in his butt. Yeah, I don't know. Some of those items in Don't Starve are just kind of weird to me. Okay, so a cayenne pepper, you like exact measurements, don't you? Okay, good. A cayenne pepper enema often consists of several

heaping spoonfuls of cayenne pepper. Oh, no. No, that's good. That's what Love and Spoonful was singing about that whole time. That is a joke for 60-year-olds. Jesus Christ!

Jesus fucking Christ! Oh, man. Good one, Lemon. Man, the Captain and Tennille will be filling that one next year. I do believe in magic. Chick Chick, would you take those old records off the shelf? Anyway, so a milder solution may be used as well. So, like Chipotle, I guess?

There are no official recommendations for a cayenne pepper enema, but it is never a good idea to use an enema that hurts. Wait, wait. Does this imply that there's official recommendations? There's an efficient for enemas? Yeah. Can I hire a referee for my enemas? Well, no. Like, you can get a rabbi

to... So, I know my bar mitzvah is going to be a little weird, but... Oh, no. Well, now you're going to become a man. Hey, hey. Why is the baptismal phallic so dirty?

Can you please stop referring to... That's sin. Can you please stop referring to the rabbi as daddy? Okay. So, so, check, check. I'm going to go over here to Cora and on Cora here

your name is Dipakumar Patel and my question for you is what kind of coffee need to use for coffee enema? Yeah.

Hi. You can use dark roasted whole beans. Thry ate very oily. You stick half a pound of them up. Never diss it, but please let us know how it went. You ain't never gonna diss it. Yeah, boy. it went you ain't never gonna diss it yeah boy

and uh boost your name is uh illy uh yeah hi i you're you're a former field manager yeah my name's illy i'm a former field manager of the foreign motor company i was there from 1986 to 1995 um five years ago i had this to say i had a marketing guy who worked for me in the 1990s twice a week bill would take a couple of hours off for what he described as a holistic health procedure he worked long hours so i was okay with him taking some time for himself. One day, we were sitting outside on a break. Bill was having one of his many cigarettes of the day with coffee. Wow, I'm learning a lot about Bill. By the time he was taking every week for his health,

I asked him about smoking. He said, well, I could smoke because I have a coffee anemia twice a week. He went on to explain, the coffee stimulation causes all the bad stuff we ingest to be expelled, including tars and nicotine. So jokingly, I asked him if it was Starbucks. He said, don't know, but it sure smells good. So it's not Starbucks. Got it. He doesn't know where his butt coffee comes from.

Are these consensual enemas? He lets his butt take care of that. If you're heading to the holistic health clinic for your coffee enema, I think that you and your provider have a level of trust where you don't have to ask these things. I mean, it is a holistic health clinic. Yeah! Oh, boy!

Okay. Since most enemas are meant to stimulate the digester tract, I guess it works. You know that you're not ingesting smoke, right? No, no, no. Yeah.

Yeah. He's smoking them with his ass. Exactly. That's why people pay two bucks to get into the tent. Another joke for 60-year-olds.

God damn it. Comquot, your name is Robert? Oh yes, I'm Robert the Bruce. Tell me about yourself, though. I need to know your credentials. In addition to, you know, being royalty in Scotland, I am a recreational enemy user for many years. You haven't turned pro.

No. I mean, you did say you were royalty in Scotland. Yeah. I have 3.1k answers and 3.9 million answer views. This is the pro tier of Quora Answerer. Jesus. Yeah, sure is.

Hmm. The type of coffee normally recommended for coffee enemas is an organic light roast or green coffee. I cannot fucking imagine that the roast matters in your fucking enema. It's

reverse Kopi Luwak coffee. Depends on what you want. I'm really skeptical about the accuracy of a lot of the information on coffee enemas. What? Wait. How dare you? about the accuracy of a lot of the information on coffee What? Wait How dare you

As Here's why I'm skeptical As I've seen claims that instant coffee is hazardous because of the way it is made But I've never found any information that supported this.

Oh, that's why you think it's inaccurate. You think they're fear-mongers. Yes, yes. I did have a friend who used instant coffee on a regular basis, and I did try it a time or two, but it never did anything for me. So I went back to regular coffee. Good.

He's on the whole food diet. The whole food diet. And, uh, Shell, your name is Clay? It is. I'm... Hello, I'm Clay Nicholson, former Starbucks coffee master, back when the black apron meant...

Whoa! Wow! Yeah, no. Here's my professional opinion. Do not. Ever. Use medically untested. Medically un unapproved, medically not recommended liquids for an enema. It can be very dangerous. Wow, so you are an expert on enemas and coffee. That's right.

It's because I'm constantly demanding facts and thinking critically. You did say Starbucks coffee master. demanding facts and thinking critically. He did say Starbucks coffee master. While the only significant pharmacological ingredient in coffee is caffeine, there is no question that some people are more

sensitive to caffeine than other people, and if you give yourself a coffee enema, the caffeine will enter your system much faster than if you drink the coffee. If you are sensitive to caffeine, there could be cardiac effects, possibly

fatal. Do not do this. Yes, hello, I am Calogero Fiore. I'm a former self-defense teacher. You can if it's organic, but I have used non-organic Nescafe. It's true that coffee animals can send you to the hospital

and make you feel unwell in 12 years of almost daily coffee animals. Look what you do to your mother! Have gone to hospital three times, and that's over 8,000 enemas worth of flushes. I am tapering off and doing them less now. Started off Italian, ended up as Dracula. I think that's just Caligaro's story. That's what happens when you do too many coffee. No worries.

He's doing them less now. Okay, so all of this Korra talk has got me really interested. I didn't like clay. I definitely liked Caligaro. So Boots, I'm into this idea. I'm into like clay. I definitely liked Caligaro. So, Boots, I'm into this idea. I'm into this lifestyle. Here I am on purelifeanima.com. And what do I need?

What do I need here? Oh, what you obviously need is you need the Coffee Anima Kit. It is a bestseller. It's all you need. The USA Anima Bucket. By Pure Life Enema. The skew is USA 9. Oh, damn.

When I'm thinking about my health, I like to use the word bucket. I like to use the word skew. What constitutes an enema bucket? Look at the photo. It's a bucket with a nozzle on it.

It's a metal pail with a nozzle on the bottom. It doubles as a maple syrup bucket. Yeah, absolutely. One of these points is very important. So this is everything I need to get started? Everything you need to get started. Why buy a USA-made stainless steel enema bucket kit? Because all of the buckets are from China and India

using inferior-grade stainless steel and not tested for impurities. Oh, shit. Pure Life has been manufacturing the highest quality USA-made enema buckets since 2012. Our stainless steel is from the USA. It should last a lifetime of use without rusting.

And as we know, American metals don't have impurities in them. I want to go to the enema bucket trade show to see this guy yelling. The line for the bathroom is so long. What are you doing? Oh, right.

Okay. Yeah, never mind. I mean, I think they have more installed. Our stainless steel is tested for impurities and certified as to contain no contaminants such as lead, cadmium, radioactive material, etc. With imports you don't know. That's true. But I, goddammit, I was hoping to get a cadmium enema. So often I get my plutonium stainless steel.

Yeah, there's no medical equipment made in China or India. No, none. When it comes to your health and detox equipment, invest in a safe bucket, easy to use, with comfortable enema tip. Should I invest in a safe anything else? Let's talk about this tip. Where is the tip made? That part feels important. Unknown.

Pure Life Anima Coffee is the purest and cleanest enema-specific coffee in the market today. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Really? Really? What? Really? Our coffee is accepted by Gerson Institute,

and we are listed on the Gerson website, used by doctors, naturopaths, and everyday people. Wow. Yes. Wow. It's got a label on everything. Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've got two more points to make, okay? Okay, cool, but I'm going to look around at all of your products now that I know that you make your own butt coffee. Okay, so the first point, the first of the last two points I have to make is women-owned American company since 2010. Solve! This is what feminism looks like.

I ordered my still-with-her bucket like a year ago. I didn't. So it includes one 2.2 quart bucket, stainless steel enema bucket, 304 high grade USA stainless steel, one five foot silicone enema tubing, medical grade,

one strong medical grade enema tubing clamp, one 3.5 inch medical silicone enema nozzle easy and comfortable insertion uh one 16 inch by 18 fr red rubber latex colon tube for easy insertion and higher insertion one full pound pure life gerson specific enema coffee fine grind certified organic air roasted for purity medium roast recommended by Gerson Therapy, specialty-grade mold and fungus-free beans. Wait, fine grind? So more likely to get fucking coffee grounds in your body. Yeah.

That's where they're going anyway. One 304 stainless steel 10X micro-mesh coffee enema strainer. Ah, see, it's fine. So that's, yeah, it's the 10X Micromesh that's going to save you. That's... All this other steel isn't sourced from the USA. I really liked that the red rubber latex colon tube specifically says for higher insertion.

Just get that whole thing in there. Well, look, look, look look look I mean you know To appeal to the masses They inserted an easy insertion mode But that's the one for higher insertion It's got the option for Real enema You get a

3 foot by 3 foot plastic underbody Protective sheeting You get the stainless steel S hookhook for additional hanging options. You get the little enema book for those on Gerson therapy. It's 35 pages of valuable information on Gerson coffee enemas.

This is starting to sound like American Psycho. Life's little enema book. And then you get the pure life enema instruction guide and coffee Enema Guide. Burn it in your butt. Bye. And the related product is the Plastic Enema Bucket Kit.

Which I don't think is made from pure American plastic. Oh, it says It says right at the top This product is given to Gerson therapy patients At the clinic in Mexico for their coffee enemas Dammit Oh, I see Hey

In the reviews here There's a number of reviews For example, like Dave Rogers thought it was well thought out And worked great. But Shell Game, your name is Unknown. You're 18th of May. Oh, am I? Golly. Sorry, no.

I got to pause something because I started watching this video about the Gerson therapy technique. Shell, no, that's how they get you i know five here's my review five everything i needed first timer with the coffee enemas but the instructions were clear and it worked like a charm much easier than i expected how elaborate could the instructions possibly be? Look, a lot of the other times when I bought enema buckets, they came with these instruction manuals that had words in them.

This was just pictures. My name's Helen. As a first-time user, purchasing the kit was the right choice I've made. The one. It's the only one that I've made. Oh, wow. And this is the one you saved me. To be fair, if you're buying coffee anime kits, probably a lot of your decisions are pre-questionable.

Finally on an upward trajectory now. Okay. Everything is included in the kit, which has saved me time shopping around looking for parts. And the amazing thing is that the instruction booklet includes a link with videos that show you how to assemble the product. All I can say,

colon, quotation, I have gotten good quality and good service. Thank you. That's all I can say. How complicated is it to put a fucking nozzle on a bucket that you need to watch a video?

Yeah. I really need to watch many videos repeatedly about it, obviously. I'll also just want to mention that there's another person that says posted by unknown.

Okay. Okay. Very specific compliment here. It is cleverly designed and the shape of the bucket is perfect. Easy to carry with handle. What? Who fucking thought of this?

It's like a cylinder but then it's solid on the bottom. There's a handle on top. It's goddamn genius. Holy shit. What you got there, Harold? Your lunch pail? Oh, no. No, no. It's even better. All my previous

animal buckets didn't have a handle and they were really difficult to move around. On the very same website, Kumquat, you found something. What did you find? I've been finding a lot of things. The first thing you found, though, because I'm in an emergency. As you know, I'm a prepper and I buy lots of things to have in case things happen.

And what you need to know is about emergency or travel enema bags. When traveling or preparing a survival emergency kit, make sure you include a disposable travel enema bag kit. When shit hasn't yet hit the fan, but it's about to.

This is my butt-out bag. They are so important to have. They fit compactly in a suitcase. When traveling, one can easily become constipated due to eating out at restaurants. Also, if you fly on airplanes, this can also cause constipation. Okay, are you doing that in the airport bathroom? Nope. Man, I've just, I've got this 12-hour layover, and I just don't know what to do with it, you know?

Just imagining an experienced, like, businessperson traveler pulling you aside being like, hey, I've had those long layovers before. Let me introduce you to something. What do you mean LaGuardia's a shithole? I'll show you a shithole. Dijon, Dijon, somebody has a problem here on purelifeanima.com.

Yes, I'm Susan and I can't hold the coffee anima in. Oh, oh no. Help! I can't hold the coffee anima in. What do I do? Get off the computer! Yes, oh no, we're supposed to hold it in for 15 minutes

so the coffee can completely circulate through the blood system and cleanse it completely. What? Yeah, that's not how that works. What? No, it is. We all know. Don't try to mess with us.

Mr. Burstman told me that's how it works. Don't try to mess with us. Mr. Gerstmann told me that's how it works. Wait, of the Gerstmann therapy method or from Undertale? Both. Oh, boy. But what if you could only hold it in five minutes? Well, then you're gonna die.

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. The copy in your blood can't complete a full circuit, and it has to release somewhere. It's really the shitty version of the ring. I don't quite like that one very much. Keep going.

This is often the case with many people Not me It is a challenge It's so good of you to speak up For the people who have been ignored for so long The incontinent will no longer be silenced So let's look at the reasons Why your colon is having slight spasming And wants to push it out.

No, mine's fine. Mine's fine. I'm not doing this, Susan. Maybe your colon could be full of food from last night's pizza party. And the pizza doesn't want Mr. Coffee in the room. Did I shove my... Did I shove the pizza up my butt too? And the coffee maker, apparently.

That is why you should first clear your colon by doing a water enema before the coffee enema. Oh, good. Now it's an all-day event. No, no, I've heard about this with millennials. They'll do a pre-colon cleanse. Now it's an all-day event. No, no, I've heard about this with millennials. They'll do a pre-cold cleanse. Before they go get the enema, they get a pre-enema.

That's why they can't afford houses. The kids aren't all right. And if you still have spasms, it could be you're taking the coffee too fast try slowing down a little enjoy the experience let a little coffee in say hello let it then clench the clamp closed wait till your body adjusts body adjusts. Think of your fellow man lengthen my open hand. Lemon, did you fall out of a time tunnel?

I don't know why I'm so unnaturally old today. There's nothing but hippie music coming from you. Lemon is the reincarnated spirit of Sonny Bono. And I'm just as fun to be around. Lemon is the reincarnated spirit of Sonny Bono. Oh.

And I'm just as fun to be around. Oh, no. Another reason for spasms is you're not using clean coffee. Nope, no more advice on that. You can also try making weaker coffee solutions. Hmm. Oh, isn't that what I was doing with the water in it? Instead of three tablespoons, try two and a half.

Or two. Or other numbers that are less than three. Try an ass Americano. Of course. Of course. I just... Try to stick to the Gerson recipe we provide. But possibly the coffee's too strong. Don't get upset.

Relax and keep trying. So this is, I'm just confused. You actually put the question and the answer in a single blog post, and I'm only realizing that now. It's very confusing to me. I don't know where Susan ends It's very confusing to me. I don't know where Susan ends and Pure Life Enema begins. Susan's

an expert. She's holding our hand on this difficult journey. You guys are really going to want to hear the next couple of sentences. Adding a potassium solution under a doctor or naturopath supervision or you know

your dog you know fish ask your doctor or naturopath if Paxil is right for you wait wait Ask your doctor or naturopath if Paxil is right for you. Wait, wait. What has helped? Has helped to reduce a lot to reduce spasms in the colon.

Or try adding chamomile tea to your coffee enema. Oh, wow. You just made an eight ball right there. I've prepared enema old-fashioned. Chamomile will help soothe the colon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get it? Get it relaxed before you go for the colon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get it? Get it relaxed

before you go for the kill. Or, or even do a caramel tea enema before the coffee enema. Oh, it's like a black and tan. It's gonna cause some major butthole confusion. Then the coffee

enema. It's all about colon confusion. I could probably do something next week, I guess. You can learn how to do a camel tea enema in The Little Enema Book. I'm still working through The Little Enema Book. Before moving on. Oh, wow. The graphic design in The Little enema book is very good.

Before moving on to something else... Boots, you were... Oh, wait, actually, Kumquat, before moving on, will you just take the title of the thing you just found? Acne? Try a coffee enema! Sure. That's quite a panacea um and then and then boots uh also on this uh pure life enema uh you found some uh some wheatgrass enema uh yeah no it's wheatgrass enema juice powder uh and there was a review left by mary k on the 13th of december 2018 it says omg this is the last week grass you'll ever want or need it's a 13 plus whether you use it orally or rectally smooth

smooth the first thing i noticed is how it mixed with water oh perfect the second thing I noticed is how it mixed with water perfect the second thing I noticed is after the enema it was still smooth oh it did not leave a ring around the toilet wow yes

I feel like you're just working in some humblebrags here the flavor orally is enjoyable. Considering. Try it. You'll not be disappointed. Preventative care. So this is Jinker on Water. Thanks Mary Kay.

Oh, man. Yeah, so moving back, we were spending quite a bit of time on Pure Life Animo, because it is a great place. Everything about it, the graphic design is terrible. But, man, there's so many, I mean, there's so much stuff you can put in your butt. Every photo is so funny. And like, look at that bucket, man. That is an ingenious

bucket. I can carry that thing around. It looks so pure. That's quality American craftsmanship. But we're going to move on. I'm going to skip over some cayenne pepper enemas because, you know, we've learned plenty about that. And that blog writer has a whole lot to say. So instead.

From cayennepepperinfo.com. If you want to find it yourself, just go to cayennepepper.info. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else would you expect to find at that URL? That's it. But, check, check. We're going to

move on to a website for just a minute called Reddit. Lemon, real quick, the Cayenne Pepper Anima guy, he has a link out to his YouTube channel where his YouTube name is Truth Gladiator.

Oh! Wow, that's a good name! He is a Red Wings fan, that's for sure. Truth Gladiator. Holy shit. Oh, man. I am entertained.

Hi. Yeah, the one sentence from his blog is, Many consider cayenne nothing more than a very hot spice found buried somewhere in your kitchen spice rack. Yeah, sure. Anyway, so Jack Jack, we're going to be going to redthot.com. I'm not going to tell you what subreddit we're in, because we're about to find out.

And you got a guide for us here? Yeah, so this is um, Absolute Vodka's Best Cocaine Boofing Guide. So, hi. I'm PickYourPoison69 and I'm a healthcare hero.

Aww. Aww. Absolute Best Cocaine Boofing Guide. So after asking my own absolute best cocaine boofing guy so after asking my own reddit question and some research the best way to boof is getting 2.5 milliliters warm water

not too hot but well above room temp get quarter gritsome of coke 250 milligrams quarter gritsome of Coke, 250 milligrams. Put the Coke and 2.5 milliliters of water into half-tisp measuring piece and mix with syringe. Note, when I say syringe, it's not a syringe used for shots. A very wide syringe couldn't possibly cut you.

Huh. Like for a turkey. Couldn't cut me? Like a serrated singe? God, listen, we're not injecting these drugs. We're not crazy. I... Okay. Once fully mixed, lay on your back. Try to get your knees

close to your head With your feet in the air Lube up the tip of the syringe In your asshole Stick it about an inch in Release all liquids slowly These are the helpful instructions That those other people were so thankful for

Stay in this position While clenching your asshole For about five minutes or until you feel it. Until you feel it? What was happening in the first four minutes? Also, this guy likes opening parentheses and never closing them. Sure, sure. Then I usually let on my stomach with my legs up for another five minutes just to be sure it's all completely soaked in.

It lasts so long and feels so good. Try it, boys. Are you also writing in your diary and twirling a phone cord? No girls allowed. Damn it. That's all right, Shell Game. Your name is just a fun idiot. Oh, I just wanted to mention, I was looking

earlier at, what is his name? PickYourPoison69 and he specifically operates in the subreddits of drugs and unemployment benefits. In r slash safe way.

Hello, I'm just a fun idiot. Oh gee, lol. So I did this for the first time, but didn't read the comments first, Lamau. I have a high tolerance and have been on a month binge.

I said I'd do this the day... I have a high tolerance and have been on a month binge. Oh, boy. I said I'd do this the day... I said I'd do the... Oh, I said I'd do it this way on my last day. Huh. I go to rehab to do it on the night. Oh, that's going to go well. One for the road.

I don't think it's hit me yet. But I'm wondering if maybe I did too much. What? Wait. I guess we will see. I don't think it's hit me yet. maybe I did too much. What? Wait. I guess we will see. I don't think it's hit me yet I've done too much. I'm not at all a sketchy type user. I'm not a sketchy type of user.

Didn't you just do cocaine for a straight month before going to rehab? Yeah, just for fun. And I genuinely have fun every time I use. Not the entire time, but i perfected my party formula took a bit to get here but here we are soft vodka drink ellipses food dot dot try and Try and drink water. Still not great at that. And a dope play set. Play list. Dave Chappelle videos.

What a fun night. You are the sketchy type of user. That's your idea of a party? Like, that's your party. Party formula. Your party is to put cocaine, like, drink vodka, eat a sandwich, maybe try to drink water, but, you know, probably fail. And then watch Netflix? Well, when you say it without the ellipses in there, like, it doesn't sound as much of a party. You know, Lemon, I feel like you're knocking him

down but he's just gonna get up yeah hey yeah hey no debbie downers are annoying oh yeah i know a debbie downers when you put a xanax in a little debbie it's a girl debbie downer it's your girl debbie downer clearly this post doesn't have that restriction like get the fuck out of here if you're going to judge that's why we get on this group to feel understood i'm just you know just prefacing this right now i know what you guys are going to come after me so to feel set understood and safe and get some advice not referring to those who were commenting on the quantity suggested, but maybe be a little less patronizing about it. I think it's hitting me. Last night. It's going to be hilarious.

Oh, and question. How much do you do for the night? Oh, my God. How often? How do for the night? Oh my god. How often? How long does it last? Do you think he's like... This is definitely a she. Yeah.

I know, because she talks to me at every party. Yeah. Do you think rehab just keeps the bed warm for this person? Back again, huh, Davey? She just calls it rehab. It actually is literally a rehab. And Kumquat's up.

Your name's Xylenth26. Oh. Hello. Hi. The best way that I have ever seen to boof coke was my chinchilla. What? What? Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Man. Man, the cops don't know what to do with you. Who used a 60 milliliter vape dripper. You know, one of those you suck the vape juice in and then drip your mod with it. They look like miniature turkey basters. watched my friend's pet take just around

one milliliter of water with .25 to .5 grams of coke into a shot glass. You swirl it around until it is all mixed. Then you take as much as you can fit into the vape dripper,

lay on your back, relax your asshole, insert the vape dripper two inches in, and push the rubber squirter on the top until you feel what he said was a bubbling of the mixture coming out of the dripper.

Where does the chinchilla come in? No, that's the chinchilla's account of what happened. Okay. Very smart chinchilla's account of what happened. Okay. Very smart chinchilla. So this is like an adult reboot of Salmon Max. He sat there for a minute with the dripper still inside of him. Then he slowly pulled the dripper out of his asshole.

The key is to never unsqueeze the dripper once you have squeezed in the mixture into your asshole. Do not unsqueeze it until it is completely out of your ass. If you unsqueeze while it is still in your ass, then you suck up all the

liquid you are trying to administer. If you continue to keep it squeezed until the dripper is completely out, and you see that the dripper is now empty, then you are golden. Just remember to clench your asshole as soon as the dripper is out. Wait about one to three minutes laying down before standing up. Make sure you keep your ass clenched for no longer than five minutes until everything is absorbed. The less water you use in the mixture, the better, because it will be a stronger hit. My friend's pet told me that this is the quickest, painless, and most effective way to poof coke!

I gotta say, this is the only post this user made on Reddit. My work here is done! Away! Somebody who had this much to say and it was so weird, and then never said anything else. I have so many questions. and it was so weird and then never said anything else.

I have so many questions. Every author is in search of that one perfect novel. If you just, everywhere you go, if you just ask those questions, eventually you will find him and he will answer them. Did he post the same comment three different times? Uh, I don't understand Reddit enough to answer that question.

And then Dijon, you were a diligent rooster? Yes, I'm diligent rooster. I've tried this and it feels good, but I prefer to just put on a dildo and use that. It feels really good if you're into that kind of thing. Just to clarify, I'm gay, by the way.

Oh, no. Or just dab your finger and pop that an inch or two in and tat works too. Okay, so you showed up in r slash cocaine, dug through an entire thread about cocaine's boofing, and then you were like, I don't know so much about cocaine. I do like shoving things in

my ass, though. Yeah, all of the... Yeah, and that's where all of the other posts, all the other replies that have been included here are from three years ago, and this one is listed in the document as 30 minutes ago. Right, right. Well, I mean, be fair, right? Like, this poster, Diligent Rooster, was, like, going on the internet and was, like, things being inserted into butts and got no results. People from the past, I have come from the future to let you know of the great new way of taking cocaine.

There is a post that is from a blog called Kristen's Raw, who is, like, such an infuriatingly terrible writer. I just can't stomach it. But we're going to move on to Basti recipes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You excited? Of course you are. Great. So in Aruvita, I'm sure I mispronounced that,

there are various recipes for Basti, Aruvitic enema. I have listed a few of these general recipes, but I must remind you to consult a qualified Aruvitic physician, naturopath, or medical doctor. I don't think you want to do that last one. That just seems like a scam to me. I don't think you want to do that last one. That just seems like a scam to me. If you have any major medical problems, each recipe has benefits and contrained addictions. Contrained addictions.

Yeah. These recipes are not meant to heal or cure any specific illness, but nutritional BASTI can be used to assist with certain nutritional imbalances. BASTI treatment should not be used with very old or frail people. Only the hardiest of men. Otherwise, you'll just have them constantly asking, how do I hold it in? I need 12 stout men to administer enemas to. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah And then since Vata is mainly located

In the colon and skeletal system Right we all know that Yeah The medication These things are medicine that we're talking about here The medication is introduced rectally When treatment Because everyone knows your skeleton

It's in your asshole Yeah because everyone knows your skeleton is in your asshole. Yeah. Everything. When treatment is properly administered, Basti helps to rejuvenate the body, provide strength and longevity, and improve complexion and the voice. When you're wiping,

you're actually cleaning off your tailbone. Yeah. Enemas should not be given to persons suffering from shortness of breath, chronic abdominal pain, bleeding from rectum, cough, diarrhea, or severe anemia. So here are the types of enemas, okay? So this one is good for everyone. So ignore the exceptions that I just listed. Right, yeah.

Yeah. So good for everyone is four ounces of warm sesame oil, four ounces of organic raw honey. What if my honey is pasteurized? I don't see yeast anywhere in this recipe. Thank you very much. And then

four ounces of warm purified water. You've got to purify the water. You're going to mix them well. Administer as an enema. This enema does not have contrained addictions. And then, like, if you've got, like, severe... Jack-Jack, I know this is a problem for you. You've got some extreme Vata disorder, such as dementia or nerve disorder.

Yeah. Yeah. So this is going to be hard because of your dementia, but there's actually quite a few ingredients in this one. Yeah, no. So first off, you need to start with 16 ounces of pure water. Yeah. Then one ounce of anise seeds. Oh, by making licorice?

Yes, correct. Okay. Then one ounce of ashwagandha. Okay. Then one ounce of ashwagandha. Okay. Then one ounce of brahmi. Then you're going to simmer. I'm going to need some more. You're going to simmer that with the lid on for 20 minutes.

I cooked this. Cool to body temperature and strain. Then you're going to add two ounces of honey. Unclear if that needs to be organic raw honey or not. Probably not. I think you can cut corners here. Two ounces of sesame oil. One teaspoon of salt.

So then you're going to mix well, administer as enema and retain for about 15 minutes or longer. Mix should, should be warm when using it. Great. Great. I have, uh, I have constipation. Can you recommend me something? Yeah. So for that, you're just going to want to use an oil Bosti.

It's really easy. You're just going to ram, uh, four ounces of warm sesame oil up your butt. I mean, fair enough. That totally would work. Yeah, yeah. And cause and effect for sure. And keep it there for 30 minutes or longer. Oh, I don't know if I can.

Okay. And then if I've got like an inflammation such as like coelitis. Yeah. So very, very similar to the oil boss, Steve. But instead of oil, you're going to be using warm ghee. Now, some people don't know this. boss Steve, but instead of oil, you're going to be using warm ghee. It's clarified. It's fine. Delicious. Thank you for the clarification.

Some people don't know this, but you can just make ghee by boiling off the milk fats from regular butter. And then you've got like a, they got some more, but can you read me the bit of other nutritive enemas? Yeah.

So there's of course the warm milk enema, classic. Meat broth, unclear what type of meat or anything like that, just says meat broth. Meat broth. Not says meat broth. Meat broth. Not concerning at all. Bone marrow soup or any other nutritive concoctions

can be used for enemas for undernourishment. Yeah, no. Undernourishment or extreme VADA disorders. I thought I read that wrong. Advise consulting qualified Ayurvedic physician, a QAP for those in the know, before doing this enema. So if I deuce with honey too often, do I run the risk of developing auto-meatery syndrome? What was that joke? I didn't get that joke.

Now it's time to explain the joke! Hi, Dijon here. You see, auto-brewery syndrome is a condition wherein brewer's yeast somehow ends up in your digestive tract, which then multiply and begin fermenting the grains you eat, in an abstract way, producing beer in your gut. The humor here is that if one were to put too much honey in their butts, they might develop auto-meadery syndrome, and their body would start fermenting the honey into mead. The joke is also extremely funny if you read the exact same Reddit post I did a year or two ago by some idiot who thought he could self-induce auto-brewery syndrome by roofing brewer's yeast. So, pause the podcast, go read that post, roll back this episode about 21 seconds, and enjoy your joke.

Have a nice rest of the episode. Have a nice rest of the episode. Come quiet. You were very much enjoying this next section here. What were you specifically enjoying in this HTML4 table? Well, I was enjoying the tiled background. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But really, I'm the frugal Dom, and I'm here.

Oh, wow, that is your name. Okay. Wow, what a cooking show. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, Randy. Domino's in urges. Take one or two plain water enemas first to get clean

inside Two? Yeah, this is the third The further I get in this dock, the more enemas I end up having to take in a row Well, they are soft and fresh. Place a dozen marshmallows in a bowl of warm water.

Is this for your Halloween party? Let's sit for about ten minutes or so. They will get slick on the outside. Slide them up the butt one at a time.

Bloop! Bloop! And wait for cramps to begin. Yes! It may take 10 to 15 minutes. After a while, you won't be able to hold them anymore. Rinse with a plain water enema. That was four enemas in these instructions.

Just FYI. After that enema, you might want some more. Oh, boy. Oh, more. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Boots, did you have a favorite from this table? Oh, yeah. There's quite

a few. Yeah, well, obviously it's ivory soap. Okay. Yeah, so in a few i mean yeah yeah well obviously it's ivory soap okay yeah so uh here's what i do this is just just just you know adjust this recipe to your own liking okay i use a quarter bar of ivory soap bar growed graded and dissolved in one cup 150 degree water wait 100 oh sorry i'm thinking salsa i'm like that water doesn't do that uh when dissolved i strain it through a metal coffee filter and add two teaspoons baking soda and two teaspoons table salt and enough warm water 105 degrees to make two quarts pour it into the

bag and then siphon fill the bag as full as you can get it about three quarts administer it slowly fill the bag as full as you can get it, about three quarts. Administer it slowly. Rinse with one teaspoon of baking soda. Add it to one quart of warm water. I started reading that and I was like, you're putting the teaspoon of baking soda straight in your ass.

No, that's bad because your ass is already too alcoholic. We established that earlier. Think about what the Arm and Hammer is portraying there. I want to have a fun time. I'm going to use palmolive. Tell me about palmolive enemas.

First you take two cool plain water enemas. You start with that. Then you mix two to four tablespoons of palmolive green original dish soap in two quarts of 105 degree water and administer steadily.

Has a rapid and violent action. Madge, I phaged with it. Jesus Christ! Well, I'm going to a bonfire soon, so I need a marshmallow enema. I want to tell you about milk and molasses.

One of the most powerful enemas that I have experienced is the milk and molasses enema, or M&M for short. You want to use equal amounts of milk and the blackstrap variety of molasses. You know, the one that's really, really thick. Yep. You won't need a large volume. A pint of each. Whoa! Okay.

That's a lot of molasses. That's a lot. A lot of molasses. That's bigger than the jar. Yeah, that's like an entire lot of molasses. That's a lot. A lot of molasses. That's bigger than the jar. Yeah, that's like an entire jar of molasses. Yeah, so you're only going to need a pint of each. You're going to put the milk in a saucepan. You're going to bring that to a boil.

Oh, uh-oh. Then you're going to add in the molasses, remove from the heat, and stir thoroughly. Wow. Wow. You're about to ruin a pot. Do we need to bring it to the hard crack or the soft crack phase? Oh, you'll be bringing it to both. Oh, no.

So, yeah, you're going to bring it to a boil. You're going to add the molasses. You're going to remove from the heat. Then you're going to stir thoroughly. The molasses being added will reduce the temperature somewhat, sure. And when the mixture cools to about 105 degrees, it is ready to administer. For a powerful enema, this one is worth the little extra effort. Your bowels will react almost immediately.

Viscerally. It will be extremely difficult. It will be extremely difficult. It will be extremely... I think I just cocked your ass shut. Hey, Lemon? Yeah, what's up? Can I get a salt and soda, please? I forget, I forget.

How do you make a salt and soda? Yeah, so that's one tablespoon of sea salt, one tablespoon of baking soda, please. I forget. I forget. How do you make a salt and soda? Yeah, so that's one tablespoon of sea salt, one tablespoon of baking soda, two quarts of 105 degree water, mix well and administer gently. I just like that it sounded like a cocktail kind of. Well, yeah, another

one is just, it's basically just coffee with some salt. But for some reason it's called the Mae West Anima. Why don't you come up my ass and see me sometime? Whew. All right. all right um coming to the end of this um of this document uh thank you so much cat examiner we are going to a bunch of places and they are insane um but cat examiner did um uh give me uh this doc uh and mention that this one should be read. So I'm going to start and I'll just tag somebody in if that's all right.

So this is a story. It's a story called A Letter from Auntie Flo. I don't believe this is about periods, but we'll find out. It's got the activity tag of Sissy Billy. I don't know what that means. It's by Sissy Billy. Oh, it tag of Sissy Billy. I don't know what that means. It's by Sissy Billy. Oh, it's by Sissy Billy? No.

Oh. Oh, yeah, I guess it is. All right. All right. Oh, yeah, it sure is. I received this letter from my Auntie Flo last Sunday prior to my monthly period. Good morning, Sissy Billy. I am your Auntie Flo.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, I'm not going to like this period. Good morning, Sissy Billy. I am your Auntie Flo. Oh, oh no. Oh no. Oh, I'm not going to like this story. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Oh no. This was after thanking Cat Examiner. I'm taking all of this back.

Well, I'm going to take it and thank them right back. Thank you, Captain. Yeah, fun part of the doc's over, motherfucker. Fucked. Oh, no. This is terrible. Okay.

I am told by your mistress that you are a sissy going through puberty. Therefore, I'll be visiting you once a month for a very long time. I will become your not-so-best friend each month. a very long time. I will become your not-so-best friend each month. I have looked at your period chart and see that you have a few light young girl periods.

You may have what? This is a great story. It's nothing. I don't hate this. You may have thought these difficult, but there comes a time in each lady's young life that she must use her feminine difficulties to comes a time in each lady's young life that she must use her feminine difficulties Feminine difficulties! Every young woman experiences

their first really bad period and this will be yours with many more to come on occasion. Hopefully for you, they will be few, but that is dependent on my mood. It is never nice to get Auntie Flo mad at you. Oh, no. I will send you a reminder about two to three days before your period starts, and you should automatically do your pre-period prep on the morning of day one. I will let you know if I'm happy or mad and whether it will be light, normal, or bad for your period. No grumbling now because a girl's period comes whether she wants it or not.

Your normal pre-period prep will be drinking two gallons of water that day. And when you go to the ladies' room, we do what is called out in fluid replacement. That's what we do. Since I do not know much about how you have pee-peed. Oh, God! Oh, no! Oh, I hate the

story. Yes. Oh! What's the problem, Lemon? Ansley Flo just doesn't know how much sissy Billy pee-pees. Oh, God. Just so you know, I'm

pretty sure this is Flo Rida. You're mad because you know he's right. Did I scroll past this document yet? No, okay. Okay, so I expect you to drink 12 ounces of water each time. Also, you should take two feminine laxative pills before

you go to sleep. Feminine laxative pills, you go to sleep. Are they pink? Feminine laxative pills, huh? Alright. Yeah, they're in the pink box. Okay, okay. This is what I call a bad period. I am sorry, but it will happen on occasion. General suggestions for each period. I

suggest that you put a rubber sheet on your bed because you may have accidents with your period. I want you to buy a little girl's diary and keep a record of everything you do or what happens during your period. A girl's breasts swell during wrong their period. And their bras hurt. Their bras hurt. That case. Their bras hurt. That's what happens when a girl has their period.

Ow, my bra. That's true. Ow, my bra. Oh, God. Fuck. Come on. I can't imagine it gets any worse in this paragraph. No.

You will wear a bra two sizes too small and put a grapefruit in each cup to press against your sore nipples. Some girls wear period panties and an old nightie. I think it is better and nicer to wear pretty things. Wear pretty panties and a pretty nightie each night. If you soil them, then wash them. Special assignment for this period. I don't know about that. Wait, for this period?

What is it? I don't know. What's that word? This is the afternoon class. Oh, okay. Got it. Got it. Got it.

Some girls say they like to get their minds off a bad period. What happened to my scare quotes? I'm so confused. Well, they're coming back. Okay. And it makes. What happened to my scare quotes? I'm so confused. Well, they're coming back. Okay. And it makes them feel better to go shopping. Oh, yeah. Right.

Sure. You know who women are. Oh, my God. I am just having the worst time, you know. Let's go to the mall. I want to know if this works for you. So on day four, which should be your worst period day. Yay, they're back.

I want you to dress up and go to the mall after dinner. Spend at least two hours shopping. Bring pads and tampons. You'll probably need to go to the ladies' room to change them. There might be some things you need to buy. Splurge. Also, window shop. Look for a fancy dress.

Oh, God. Man, I wish I lived in a world where... I wish I lived in that world where they feel safe to go to the ladies' room at the mall. I don't like living in a world with this person, actually. Describe it. Let me know the price. Buy a pretty scarf for yourself. Window shop for 90s.

Describe them with pricing and buy one if you see a really pretty one. I hope this works for you. Try not to think about your cramps in your period. Boots, tag! Day one. Yep. Day one. Drink three gallons of water today.

This will continue menstrual bloating. Oh, right. Take two feminine laxatives twice a day. Jesus. You should wear maxi pads for the day changing if necessary. Me? Yep.

Accept 12 ounces of lemon juice in lieu of enema fluid at night. Hold to bursting. Press X to accept this. Add clothespins for 15 minutes before going to sleep. Do I want to know where? To hold your butt closed. That's hard. Like to themselves?

Well, we can ask Steve. Normal eating habits for today. Douse nipples with tabasco sauce once before going to bed. All right. Okay. Okay. Now the story's getting cool. This is a cool story now.

I didn't know we were wearing a Guy Fieri nightie. I don't have any Tabasco sauce. Is Frank's Red Hot okay? Yeah, mix it with some butter. Day two. Drink two gallons of water today. Oh, sorry. Tag.

You got it. No, I've got a tag. Day two. Drink two gallons of water today. This will continue menstrual bloating. You are allowed to pee eight times per day plus out in 12 ounces. Eight times? Keep record.

Okay. Take two feminine laxatives three times a day. Wow. Three times a day on day two. That's quite a bit. That's quite a bit. That's concerning. That's three a bit. That's concerning. That's three.

No, it's six. It's... Look, I'm a baby. I don't know how to count. Two tablespoons of castor oil once in the morning and once for dinner. We shouldn't be going through your period, then. Tomato soup for lunch. Drink a 12-ounce glass of tomato juice for a snack before

bed. Yeah, that is nice. That is nice. Like a bedtime snack of tomato juice. I feel like it's tomato juice because I'm getting a real serious Britain vibe here. No, no. We saw the word...

No, we saw the word panties. We saw the word panties. Oh, God, no. We saw the word... You're right. We saw the word panties. We saw the word panties. Oh, God, no. Tampons for four hours when you get home. An overnight pad at night. Changing as necessary. But at least every four hours. Did you have a stroke?

Attach the clothespin each time you are in the bathroom. Douse nipples with Tabasco sauce. Douse clothespin on nipples for 15 minutes twice a day.

Except 12 ounces of lemon juice. I'd like to point out that lemon has a capital L there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Except all of it. The whole thing. You of enema fluid in morning, hurled to bursting

at least 15 minutes before you get out of bed. Out of bad. Sorry. You're not getting out of bad. I don't know what word you're trying to pronounce. It is It is What was that word?

I don't know. They have the British pronounce things weird. It's normal from Carfield. That's an old English accent. It's always moving back in time. This is what actual Shakespearean sounds like.

T-H-A-V-E T-H-A-V-E except one take for one hour so so

we've now merged all vowels into one single super vowel. If you go to the toilet. Also known as the over vowel or the abe vowel. accept a 16 ounce of warm mineral oil in low of animal fluid just before you go to bed must hold or let it leak out slowly during the night you cannot change your path for at least four hours. Oh my god, I'm back. Thank you so much for your audition reel.

I'll contact you if we want to cast you in the Pinky and the Brain reboot. Good job. That's it. This has been a Masterpiece Theatre production of Tabasco Christie. Dijon, what's day three? Same as day two.

Well, guess we've got to read that whole thing over again. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. What's day four? Same as day three. I'm going to skip day five. What's day six? I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You did a great job, though. I'm going to skip day five. What's day six? No one wants to tag. You did a great job, though. You did a really good job.

Exhausted. Normal eating habits. You should wear a maxi pad for a day. A tampon for four hours. An overnight pad at night. Period dash. Changing is necessary. Changing into a better

human good luck my young lady best wishes anti-flow telly ho alright that was all written that was all that was all the instructions from auntie flow which means that the story ends good luck my young lady

best wishes comma anti-flow sissy belly and there's a lot of comments the story ends. Good luck, my young lady. Best wishes, comma, anti-flow. Sissy Billy! And there's a lot of comments. There's a lot of comments. And they're all real gross. Well, SissyToy43507 shows up.

Yeah, Sissy Billy responding to Sissy Billy's own story with sequels, like, spin-offs. Oh, good. Oh, just like in Choose Your Own Change. Yeah, yeah. Extended universe of Sissy Billy. I was starting to have very loose bowel movements.

Really, why? Well, because of that. Penelope. How's that? Penelope. Penelope says, some women are just bitches, I guess. Wow. Whoa.

Wow. Yeah, so the very bottom of this document, Kumquats Up? Oh, yeah? If you scroll down to the document, you can see that Cat Examineriner who I hate, uh, put together a list of recipes. Um, can you, uh, can you read that for me? Oh,

alphabetical. Nice. Number one, acidophilus enema. Number two, the most important one, air, air enema.

That's for balloons. Is that what you get at an auto shop? That's liquid art. Alcohol enema. Aloe vera enema. Bentonite green clay enema. Castor oil enema.

Castile bar soap enema. Catnip tea enema. Cayenne pepper enema. Coconut oil enema. Coffee enema. Cool salt water enema. Coral calcium. That one's not an enema, catnip tea enema, cayenne pepper enema, coconut oil enema, coffee enema, cool salt water enema, coral calcium that one's not an enema, crushed ice enema, damanamanamanan enema, emollient

enema, epsom salts enema, fiber enema recipe, flaxseed oil enema, garlic epsom salt enema, garlic juice enema, glycerin enema, green tea enema, 100% enema. Glycerin enema. Green tea enema. 100% pure natural herbal enemas. Plural.

Hydrogen peroxide enema. God. Hydrogen peroxide? No. No. The Mayo Clinic enema. Milk enema. Tag.

Tag. Milk enema. Milk and honey enema. Milk and molasses enema. Mineral Milk enema. Milk and honey enema. Milk and molasses enema. Mineral oil enema. That's just normal. Mineral and glycerin enema. Neem tea enema.

White oak bark homemade suppository oak bark herbal enema. Herbal ointment. Oil enemas. With a flavor shot. Old fashioned enema. Actually, I'll have a Manhattan enema, please. Olive oil enema. Phospho soda enema.

The purgative enema. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Remove air left the colon. Retention enema. Royal enema. Saline enema. Saltwater enema. Sea salt and baking soda enema, sea silver enemas, simple warm water enema, slippery elm enema, soapy enema, tap water enemas, vegetable oil enema, vinegar and water enema. Warm soap suds enema.

Just the suds. Warm water enema. Wheatgrass enema. Toilet bowl enema. Garden hose enema. Thawed enema. Can anyone confirm that the purgative enema is from Warhammer 40k. Leftover soup stock enema.

The purgative enema is rock salt, sea salt, Epsom salts. That's cold. Laying pink salts. That's a lot of sodium compounds up your butt And baking soda You're going to mix that thoroughly And then it says

And this is on blue text With a yellow background It says warning this enema is very dehydrating Yeah you're going to salt cure your colon I mean the packet says do not eat But it doesn't say anything about this wow uh what did we learn from this f plus i learned that all the people are really really bad at enemas like you're not supposed to get cramping from them.

That's like... No, it specifically said you are, though. Yeah. Yeah, I learned that it may cause cramping, which is often considered desirable for enemas. That was at the beginning of the episode, man. Were you not paying attention? Yeah, I mean, you know,

cramping is good because it's what your dom wants. episode, man. Were you not paying attention? I mean, you know, cramping is good because it's what your dom wants. I feel like I've learned... You found a picture of the frugal dom. And it's very funny. It's very good. She looks like Paula Deen.

I'm sorry, you were saying, Jack-Jack? I feel like I've learned so much and yet absolutely nothing. Like, of course everybody is sticking whatever the fuck up their butt, but like, you know, there's no reason why anybody's doing any of this. Like, oh, mysterious

health reasons. Yeah, I was enjoying that, like, I thought the community or something might be a little bit more homogenous and that is not the case it's just it's just it's just a bunch of weirdos doing it for weird reasons like well you know it makes me feel better how does it make you feel better don't care i was i was actually like expecting parts of this community to be a little bit more diverse. I was a little bit surprised how many people were just like, no, coffee enema. Only coffee.

That's all I do. Only the coffee enemas. Nothing else. That one dude like 6,000 times, right? Yeah, that comes from a quack scientist. Also, it's a lifestyle. Yeah, that comes from a quack scientist. Also, like, it's a lifestyle, right? Like, this isn't somebody who's just like, yeah, you know, I do this in the morning occasionally. It's like, well, I got to get myself a water enema, then a chamomile tea enema, then a coffee enema, and that's like half my day gone.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you know this, Jack Chick, but it's not acceptable to do anything recreationally. That would be unacceptable. If you're going to do something, you'll definitely need to blog about it and take selfies with it. It's very important to your personal brand.

Yeah, it's the grind set, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Colon grind set. You know, making all the money from anima. Giving yourself anima. It's an interesting Venn diagram of the normal, fun quack pseudoscience and the normal, fun people putting stuff up their butts. Like, normally you don't see both at once. Right, right, right.

don't see both at once. I can't decide which of these particular recipes I find the most damaging. I don't know which is the worst one, but I feel like milk and molasses is very dangerous. That really

doesn't seem like a great idea. But then, oh, I forgot about hydrogen peroxide. That probably wins. I just found, sorry. I'm on the purelifeanima.com page about acidosis and pH imbalance. Great. Which tells you that your goal is to have a mostly alkaline pH. On a test strip, your range is 1 to 14.

If you are a 1, you are very acidic. 7 is neutral. 14 is very alkaline. If you have not electrical power because your body chemistry is off, you would die. This is a chart here that shows foods. It shows alkalizing foods includes apple cider vinegar and Yeah. Right.

Okay, sure. Sure. Yep. Waiting for the funny. Tomato, you know, famous lemon, lemon,

the famously alkaline fruit. Our website is always the FBL.us. You know, when we get around to episodes, which we release sometimes. And Ball Pit

is still a good forum. Yep. Goodbye, thou. Bye. Bye. Bye. Shake your ass, but watch yourself Shake your ass, and show me what you're working with Shake your ass, but watch yourself Shake your ass, and show me what you're working with

Shake your ass, but watch yourself Shake your ass, and show me what you're working with Shake your ass, but watch yourself Shake your ass, and show me what you're working with Uh, uh, uh Uh, uh, uh Uh, uh, uh Uh, uh, uh Uh, uh, uh Uh, uh, uh We'll see you next time.