The F Plus - 375: Brought To You By Magic Spoon

Episode Date: August 14, 2022

If your chakras are all out of wack and you're in the market for new ugly jewelry, Skydin Zeal would love to be your supplier. The owner of a website with where every single word is printed in every single color (and with bevels and gradients besides) you may get lost along your way, but when you're done you'll lose weight because your flatware will physically prevent you from eating. The week, The F Plus wants one of those big pussy cars like what Joey Rembrandt paints.

Okay, so I'm going to give you either Diana the Valkyrie or Skyden Zeal. Skyden Zeal? Oh, ugly jewelry and summons angels to clean your chakras? That actually does seem really fun. Ooh. Ah! I've got the magic stick. I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice.

I'll hit the best. Hey, space traveler, you've reached the F+. It might be a terrible place, and it might have terrible things, but we're going to read them with enthusiasm. We've got Boots Ring here. Truth be told, many stories of bad alien encounters, the ones that are genuine, are not always aliens, but rather ghosts of deceased humans or negative animal spirits

from the lower realms of Earth. Jack Chick. Wield today's high-level graphic design software like a true tech head. Victor Laszlo. Odin teach me to live on WAD and WAD alone. WAD is the force behind creativity and life itself. You can find him all over the internet internet and his name is Ironicus. So when a stone is within one's field,

one allows the atomic order of the stone to enter into their atomic state. And Lemon. Skyden Zeal works strictly in the three primary colors and derives all other needed colors from there. Have you noticed that there's only three colors in this website? Have you noticed? there's only three colors in this website? Have you noticed?

I only work in three colors and the combination and every possible combination. I got the magic stick. Simultaneous. Hey, F Plus. Ahoy, Lemon. Hey, Victor. Tell Ahoy, Lemon. Hi, Lemon.

Hey, Victor, tell a really good joke. Come on. Right now. Come on. Come on. We're all waiting. We're not going to... This episode is not going to start until you tell a joke that's great.

Tell me your kids... Like, and really good. Like, if the joke is, like, mediocre, we'll just wait longer. What's one of your kids Like if the joke is like mediocre We'll just wait What's one of your kids favorite jokes? My kids don't really get jokes That's pretty funny Burn on your kids It's really weird They love the Simpsons,

but they watch it stone-faced. They're there for the plot. Yeah, that post-Klasky Supo animation style. We are going to be going to a site that was delivered to us by Dijon DuJour.

Actually, the documents put together by Dijon DuJour says the subject was originally found by Beelzebub and Ganymede. But this is a website that, you know, this is a podcast. This is a, unless we're doing a live show, which we hopefully will be doing soon, or a 24-hour marathon, which we hopefully never will do again. Unless we're doing that. It's not a visual medium, right? But we are going to be going into a phenomenally ugly website, a shockingly ugly website called Skyden, S-K-Y-D-I-N.com,

where all of the colors live. Like all of them exist at the same time in the same place in the same place uh and i want actually to learn a little bit about skyden because uh skyden i understand like has products to sell us um has uh teachings that we can learn from um but we should probably learn a little bit about uh the themselves. So I think Jack Chick, if you'll start us off here and scroll down underneath all of the Stargate fan art and tell me a little bit about Skyden Zeal. I was actually panicking a little bit because I figured you were going to pick me and then not give me a link. Trying to navigate this fucking thing. Yeah, just scroll past all of the...

It's really obvious. Just click where it says bio. Come on. Yeah. The links are the colorful bits. Oh, that's what I've been... That's what I've been wrong. It's like trying to read a magic eye puzzle

inside an eye spy. So I've been wrong. It's like trying to read a magic eye puzzle inside an eye spy. So I've been sitting on this page and it's now loading more content for some fucking reason. Skyden Zeal is an internationally recognized visual artist, silversmith, spiritual clothing designer, architect, and innovator of sound healing instruments who lives in manhattan new york architect he is a professional teacher of ancient scandinavian yoga chant and empowering poses called stag halder also is every is every fucking word capitalized in this yeah yeah scandinavian yoga ancient scandinavian yogic chant. Okay, got it. Right. He has served Manhattan for 11 years through the various spiritual

centers and through his left title case. For a bit. Spiritual centers was still title case. Okay. Spiritual centers and through his own private sessions, Skyden Zeal's practices include reading the universe. Like long walks on the beach.

Reading the universe. Reading the universe through Norse runes and is a master at Hebrew slash Egyptian numerology. He leads large meditation groups on astral travel to past lives from as far back as the prehistoric Atlantean world to the

distant future and other dimensions and planets he speaks every month at the edgar case center in manhattan new york and abroad on european spirituality and psychic self-defense and healing skyden zeal has all of his all his life lived a very disciplined yet highly expressive creative existence in order to be able in order to be a channel for what the universe's light needs to teach humanity today. He is an accomplished visual artist, painter, and photographer, and has extensive

resume in the New York art scene. He is a devout student of the authentic Shaolin Kung Fu. Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Because actually, okay, the New York art scene? Yes. Okay, okay. That hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Because actually, okay, the New York art scene? Yes. Okay, okay. That movement.

New York art is capitalized and scene is not, right? So it's New York art. You ever seen New York art? It's a whole lot of big apples. I don't get it. Yeah, but apparently i love them which is an extremely discipline oriented martial arts system that's rewards its honest students with spiritual power he also hosts large electronic dance club events that offer a truly timeless, futuristic, spiritual, and ecstatic party experience. Ecstatic party experience?

Okay, so ecstasy. Spiritual. Is that what you mean? Spiritual and ecstatic party experience. You mean ecstasy. It's also timeless and futuristic. Oh, okay. All right.

All right. So cool. That makes me really want to trust you, Skynazeal. Thank you so much for putting all of those. That's the Scandinavian yogic chanting, I think. All of those colors into my cones, rods, which one absorbs colors? Anyway, whichever one it is, is tired.

But Ironicus, let's go to Skyn's library now. And I want to know, how do gemstones affect us? How do gemstones affect us? The mineral kingdom, like the plant and animal kingdom, is alive and communicates with us. A vibrant, crystalline forest grows beneath the earth. When fully grown, is unearthed by gemologists and presented to humanity. Then it gets illegible. Oh, boy.

Gemstones, the colors of reality. All of life is encoded in vibration, and the basic architecture of vibration is the molecular structure among all natural things. Crystals remain the most common... System. Sure. To this truth in their appearance throughout their existence.

In fact, their natural... Whether they be four, six, or eight-sided, for example. If you're wondering why Ironicus there is having a difficult time reading it's because he is reading a low quality JPEG with a bevel, an inboss, a

drop shadow and an outline I want these words to pop I don't want people to read them but I want them to goddamn pop also it's yellow on purple oh where was I I don't want people to read them, but I want them to goddamn pop. Also, it's yellow on purple. Oh, where was I? That's a serious question.

You can probably go out of the dock if you want. Dijon actually took the time to transcribe this fucking nonsense. Oh, Lord. What is the alt text on this image? There's no alt text here. We believe Skyden Zeal's explanation is most accurate and unique among his peers. Quote, it's well known in the spiritual community that each crystal has its unique vibration. It is well known, yep.

And effect on us and the reality around us. But it is not really known or properly expressed how this is. This is because almost all attempts at explaining this phenomenon are theoretical, based on a very few actual experimental non-placebo accounts in the past. It also

doesn't help that most explanations, if there are any, are overly scientific. Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! science. Shamanic wisdom is real-time esoteric experience and has nothing to do with reading books. Yay! Words! Gemstones and crystals are

readily assimilated by humans because of the fact that we are predominantly made of water. Excuse me, Professor, I've actually never assimilated a gemstone. Never. I've never assimilated a gemstone. Have you crushed them up real good first?

No. Scientifically, our physical human form matches closely the six-sided hexagonal quartz crystal. I guess when we're playing charades. So it's two dimensional?

It's a six-sided hexagonal. It's a hexagonal crystal that has six sides. The water molecule, by the way, is structurally the same as the quartz crystal molecule and its nature is equally as close to neutral as possible What? What? You know Victor Victor you seem to have a difficult time speaking here. Let me just give you this glass of crystal

Don't you agree that its nature is quite neutral? Drink this ice cold glass of quartz that its nature is quite neutral. Drink this ice cold glass of quartz. This is why it is possible to program water or program a quartz crystal with a specific frequency.

But again, this must be done with shamanic power and not just a simple theory that it is possible. It isn't exactly easy to do either. Oh boy. Can I right cool i just want to read a little there's a note that dijon provided about the transcriptions great um and dijon says the actual text will be a hybrid of stuff taken directly from his etsy descriptions which mostly

copy the text and images word for word and stuff transcribed by me when an official plain text source wasn't available i strove to minimize the number of typos, but I apologize if I missed a couple of his randomly capitalized words. You're doing the Lord's work. Yeah. Thank you so much. Dijon. By the end of this,

by the end of this, we'll find out which Lord it is. So, uh, so, uh, uh, boots, if you'll scroll. So, uh, so, uh, uh, boots,

if you'll scroll down to, uh, to the historical accounts, uh, yes, uh, paste the headline there. The historical accounts of angels go back at least 7,300 years spanning all the world's civilizations.

So did they physically exist? Are you calling me a liar? Huh? That's a, of a question. Because the written word is, like, you can find books that are 7,300 years old? Yeah. Okay, okay, sure. Today we have a very strange way of regarding such mythological accounts.

It should be noted that the term myth is Greek in origin and literally translates to truth. Oh, boy. noted that the term myth is Greek in origin and literally translates to truth. We at Skyden.com hold a very strong stance on the concept that a vast majority of these painstakingly written in stone historical accounts on our origin as a species are in fact not only true, but for the most part

literal. I rest my case, your honor. We must remember that carved in stone texts, there are accompanying reliefs and statues were these cultures most permanent, and not to mention skill-involved works of historical art. So, like, if I were to go climb Mount Olympus, I could go hang out with Zeus? Yeah, yeah.

All of the Greek myths are true. Even the parts that conflict with each other constantly and how people be queeth different people all the time. And the record always changes. It's all true. Okay. It's all true. History is written by the truth tellers,

as they say. as they say today our perception of the ancient people of the first civilizations is one of dismissal you may not be able to literally recall a moment when a high school teacher told you that the people of the ancient world were ignorant superstitious are less informed

about the true nature of reality than we but I assure you it is the setting through which where ignorant superstitious are less informed about the true nature of reality than we, but I assure you it is the setting through which we receive these historical pieces. How would you feel if you knew that all the historical documents of the current day would one day be received by a future people as the ignorant at best metaphoric heaven forbid,

literally true attempt of an illiquid people at explaining reality. Comforted? So Tuesday-ing? Yeah. The cause of our disenchanted, disconnected, magic-less existence is that we have been told a mundane story of our origins. So your argument is that despite what Mark Mothersbaugh says, we are not de-evolving and that is a problem.

I can't even respond to that. Like, what the... All of life is magic. I ask you, how could the true story of our origin be anything less than pure magic? These words will either resonate with you or simply sound fanciful based on how you have been conditioned or how much spiritual progress

you have made in rewriting the script of the basic rules of reality which run the background run in the background you're pretty special you uh you understand that all life is magic i got some uh some crystals here that'll help you help a little more spiritual, you know what I mean? You think he details his car the way the website looks? I hope so. Hey, F Plus. Hey. You want to buy some bullshit?

Hell yes. All right. You want to buy some bullshit? Hell yes. All right, fantastic. Here's some bullshit. This is the Crop Circle Pendant, a fabulous, massive pendant featuring 22 accurate recreations of the world's most spectacular crop circles to date. The Crop Circle Pendant has arrived on your planet today through Skyden Zeal's constant communication with the enlightened portion of the universe celestial guides. Lots of ugly pictures. And also my font got crazier. I believe in Odin the Allfather and bored teens who live on farms.

This looks like the back cover of the box of a second-tier Sierra game from the late 80s. Yeah, this is the first draft of a German board game. Yeah, this actually does have a Ravensburger look to it. I agree. Okay, so in recent times, Skyden's deal was directed by Source, uh, yeah, to create, uh, to create new spiritual products to enlighten humanity through the direction of spirit guides from the many planets of our solar system,

exclamation point, and in a channeled state, while communicating with enlightened extraterrestrial sources, such as the Pleiades, Skyden received instruction on which crop circles to select, on which crop circles to select, and and with them create the ultimate crop circle pendant for off-planet communications. This one is based exclusively on the relatively new metaphysical technology brought to Earth

and partially created by Earth through the massive crop circles throughout Europe. Technology? The combination of title case and not title case switch back and forth. Even surprisingly hard to read. It's really hard. Even if crop circles are exactly

what this guy thinks they are, this would be like somebody walking up to me with a charm bracelet with the alphabet on it and being like, I understand everything about you. I'm one of you. like, I understand everything about you. I'm one of you. One of my headlines here in my ugly text is,

crop circles, extraterrestrial communication with man? Or man's communication with the extraterrestrials? This ugly pendant is like Dick Tracy's watch. Can't communication be a two-way street? Okay, so the Skyden Zeal, who's always a few years ahead of the fashion trends, by natural means likes to create as far from the everyday as possible. You could say that a good part of today's trends and fashion are a return to the timelessly valuable aesthetics

of the ancient world. You could, but you really shouldn't. Your human life is meant to be epic. Capitalize, because it's the game store. What you wear must keep up with the standard. There is absolutely nothing everyday about you or your soul. Skyden Zeal's fully customized orders requested by America's leading professional and celebrity psychics are almost always large and extremely detailed. This son of a bitch sells synthetic diamonds.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lemon, are you reading this off the website no i sure i'm not i mean the magic of the gems that like connect you to the aliens in the medic physical world and synthetic diamonds like fuck this guy yeah like like i've been jack i've been i've been looking at the the website and then sort of my like uh of gets cloudy. Yeah, but so you're seeing this dead-eyed stare. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, another reason. I got another reason why you'll receive such tremendous positive responses and scenes such as fashion, work, club life, and more is because everything that Skyden-Seal designs is actually from multiple

worlds. Much like an extraterrestrial on a new planet, Skyden.com's jewelry and clothing explores many genres. What we make is innovative and especially unique. I don't know why you go back from like third and first person over and over again.

It's we, it's I. This is because Skyden Zeal's higher education began in fine arts and first person over and over again. It's we, it's I. This is because Skyden Zeal's higher education began in fine arts, graphic design, new media, fashion, and outside of college, spirituality. Would you be surprised to learn that I'm a trust fund kid? Would that

shock you? He is truly one of the very few artists who can paint like Rembrandt. You know, with brushes and shit like Rembrandt did. You know, Joey Rembrandt from down the street. This is a car with a big old pussy whenever you keep cars with big old pussies

you come to Joey Rembrandt we give the spiritualist a real fashion edge and we give the fashionista spirituality we do that generally genuinely as it is one of our missions. That's so kind of you. So here's, yeah, no, it's a service.

It's a 501c3. Good. What to expect. If you wear the crop circle pendant in your daily life and notice new exciting experiences of a positive nature, that's it. Why would such a pendant encourage positive experiences? Because as with every single thing that Skyden Zeal makes, he pays a hawk's eye to spiritual detail. Every minute of every day, he asks, what are the esoteric factors that govern most of us considered random experiences?

Even when he's doing his DJ sets twice a week or whatever? What are... I think about this every once in a while, but the guy who... So eventually, you know, eventually HBO stopped making the show. And so the guy that played Hodor in Game of Thrones

started DJing under the name of DJ Hodor. And there's a literal video of him. Like he would do DJ sets

at actual clubs. He would do DJ sets. At actual clubs, he would do DJ sets. Hodor, Hodor, Hodor. Fantastic. Okay. So as a result of extremely scientific approach, he knows when to make something, how to optimize

it as he crafts it, and how to purify and prepare his body and mind for optimal attention from the highest gods to lend him guidance. Because it is his paramount desire to make spiritual products that actually work with a very high success rate. In the contemporary world's nebulous spiritual zone, that is saying something. Furthermore, he is not satisfied by the placebo effect either. Good. improve. Just like a divine extraterrestrial spirit guide, the crop circle pendant has come to Earth and inspire, enlighten, and encourage the happiness of people. And yes, that can all be achieved through visually engaging imagery,

jewelry, and fashion. Next, the spiritual uses and experiences you can expect from wearing the crop circle pendant. And apparently that's the end of a like, paragraph somehow? Yeah. Oh, that seems like a good ending he got the capitalized letters

just go like type-ity type-ity type-ity and then I go enter enter you don't need to look into the reason for any of that shit and then apparently this will help you increase your sightings of UFOs so this incredibly ugly

jewelry that looks like mostly plastic will run you anywhere from $299 to $350. So not too bad, right? Well, and you can add the additional symbols and gemstones for more.

Oh, okay, so $299 per gemstone. What is the cart system? Oh, it seems to be hand-coded onto this website. Excellent. Here is my credit card information. You laugh, but this thing

is going to get me a walk-on role on half the things that film in Vancouver. Yeah. Victor, I think I would be interested in the Sky Dragons series. Seems to start off with ugly. It's the page with a bunch of ugly photos on it. Oh, that one.

Yes. Go to the one with all the J ugly photos on it. Oh, that one. Go to the one with all the JPEGs and the bright colors. Ooh, alright. Oh, sweet. Okay. Scrolling down was a mistake. I'm sorry. I'm gonna...

It just gets truer and truer the further you get. My eyes are physically damaged. I'm gonna... Oh my god, what the fuck? Oh dear. Oh, that's a straight up Nazi symbolism right there. Yeah. Oh my god.

All aboard Sky Dragon 1. Oh, we're going to call those Norse runes. Sure we are. Oh shit. Okay. Oh, we're going to call those Norse runes. Sure we are. Oh, shit. Okay. Well, this is a new cross-dimensional wave into the Nazi dimension. Inspirational jewelry received from the future. I guess a future where Germany won. So such as the,

the sky dragon one earrings, they are channeled both from the ancient past and from the distant future. Oh, stereo time. Yes. Well, you know, the,

the supply chain problems that they had to diversify. You got to get them where you can remember when that big old boat got stuck in the middle of time being that this series is quite different from all the other jewelry on skyden.com the information included here will likewise be what many consider to be hard to understand. But trust me, it's worth 200 bucks. Calm down. Buckle up, kiddos.

This is going to be some grown-up shit here. The Sky Dragon series holds nothing back, pulls no punches, and does not seek to adapt to today's world's lower-level metaphysical experiences. This ugly jewelry is uncompromising. Today is the metaphysical basement of our existence. This time, metaphysical artifact creator Skyden Zeal has connected with his truest form. Oh, Jesus.

The Nazi stuff is your truest... God damn it. That being the furthest future version of himself. with perfected karma and all of his original ancient Atlantean magical power restored. He makes for you the talismans, ritual tools, clothing, and more from a utopian future with the intent to help you reach that reality,

which was a separate sentence. Was that not spelled McGick? No. It wasn't spelled McGick, actually. What? There's no McGick on this website. I know. Nothing on this website is McGick.

I don't understand. It's like my whole world has been flipped upside down. Well, no, no. This is a different species. Like no, this is a different species. Like, McGick is a different thing. This is magic. Like, this is magic in the way that those cyberpunk games have magic in them. He opens during the Sky Dragon creative sessions has been referred to by several spiritual speakers as the furthest utopian future you can imagine.

And the beings that live there are the higher selves of all of us. Okay. Yeah. Okay. But is it made with nickel? I have an allergy. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Okay.

Okay. Let me tell you how we make real talismans. The Sky Dragon series can only exist on earth today because Skyden Zeal has triumphed over both material and metaphysical experiences that occur during the very unusual creative process. What you see here is the talismanic token of the energetic frequency that is restored in today's reality, brought here from the future. Because of the importance and sacredness of the process,

each piece takes quite a bit of time, and sometimes is created more than once. Sometimes I fuck up look don't be surprised if you see some other asshole on the street wearing the same jewelry as you okay it's just the future this is because even in skyden zeal's very pure warrior lifestyle there are low consciousness spirits that either must be healed or defeated. This is true only for artworks correctly created to benefit and empower those who use them.

What? Very few makers of talismans understand that this is how it works. Get on board other talismans makers. Hey Jack Chick. Hi. I've been... Okay.

We're not recording, are we? No, no, absolutely not. This is just between you and me, baby. I just wanted to share something with you. I appreciate that. I've been noticing recently that I'm gaining some weight, and I feel like I might have

sort of an unhealthy relationship with food. Yeah. That makes sense. Um, you know, and I've, and I've tried to, I've tried to look at that in certain ways, you know, I've tried to sort of like regulate the times that I'm eating or, or, or, um, you know, sort of like nothing's working, nothing's working. Do you have a solution for my, um, for my relationship with food yeah so

I think what you're looking for can be found on Etsy that makes sense yeah that's where I get all my butt plugged yeah absolutely so this will help you with your intake problem as opposed to your output problem

yeah so this this is dining instruments for the spirit. Okay. Now, you may get a little sticker shock here. I'm going to warn you. Okay? So, this is going to cost you

$800. But, but, but, think of what you're getting. Okay? So, number one, this is a rare find. You get this cool little emoji on the website. But, but, but, think of what you're getting, okay? So number one. What am I getting? Number one, this is a rare find. You get this cool little emoji on the website. Huh?

Huh? Okay. So, so, this is handmade. It's. No, but literally what is it? I'm looking at a picture of it and what is it? I have no fucking idea. Okay. So, so what this is, is it completely transforms and heals your relation to food.

The one utensil to end overeating once and for all features over 7,000 ancient, relevant, and universal symbols. Activate your soul and productivity. This top of this incredible spoon. Oh, it's a spoon. Oh, it's a spoon. The thing that looks like it opens a door in Far Cry. Yes, correct. So this is an $800 spoon.

But, but, but, but, but, but, okay. The top of this incredible spoon, just the top, right? Features a three-dimensionally, meticulously crafted heavenly citadel, three-dimensionally crafted. How's that crafted so so so legends it's good no no no so so you this is so mind blowing it probably

stunned you all into into a not understanding it so let me say it again maybe the top of this incredible spoon features a three dimensionally meticulously crafted, heavenly citadel, three-dimensionally crafted. Okay. Oh, no. Yeah, okay.

That makes sense. Now that I've sort of absorbed it into my chakras. The very building blocks of it are wrought of symbols related to various forms of meditation and symbols used traditionally to receive the aid of divine intelligences. Fine-crafted in solid sterling silver, heavily plated in 24k gold, with platinum highlights, rose gold, and other options available. Within two weeks, test subjects report quicker metabolism, begin you losing interest in unhealthy food, increased ease and enjoyment of food, quicker healing of bruises it touches, allows one to eat outside of one's usual restrictions, and binge eating, improved higher chakra activity and functionality. Even the best food can easily limit you.

Did you know that most of our world's famous artists and entertainers are said to believe that they can only perform on empty stomachs? Before elucidating on the matter, we would like to share with you the concept of that creativity is inherently divine and will always be so no matter the spiritual belief system one prescribes to. Okay, this whole performing on an empty stomach thing, I feel like you're having a problem with chicken and the egg, R-E cocaine. That's a side effect. That's not the cause. I believe that this could help cure overeating because it is so ugly you will not want to use the spoon. This is your only spoon.

It also lacks the single feature that makes a utensil a spoon. Like, there's no... Which end does the food go in? Where is my mouth supposed to go? There seems to be an indented part. Like, there seems to be, like, a square on one side that has a concave area in it, I think. That's where the gym goes, though.

Look at the other pictures. Oh, that is where the gem goes. You have to choose which gem you put in there. I thought it was like one of those bowls where when you get to the bottom, you get to see the gem. I'm done with my soup. Here's my gemstone.

Hey, Jack Jack. All of these... Yeah. Fuck your stupid spoon. Yeah, fuck his stupid spoon. Fuck your stupid spoon. I've got dining instruments for the spirit. Completely transforms and heals your... Fuck your stupid spoon. Yeah, fuck his stupid spoon. Fuck your stupid spoon. I've got dining instruments for the spirit,

completely transformed and healing. It's the exact same text, but it's a fork. It's identical copy. It's a little more identifiable as a fork. Yeah. Although it's equally impractical as a utensil yes uh okay so so but seriously let me let me tell you a little more about the spoon i think you're gonna be okay okay yeah or the fork whichever an army of evil defeated the very real dynamic of how during skyden's creative process is he feet faces sometimes hundreds of evil spirits is not unlike the story of how during Skyden's creative process he faces sometimes hundreds of evil spirits is not

unlike the story of how King Solomon bound evil djinns and put them to work in his temple. It's actually quite unlike. It's not in any way like that. No, it's exactly like that. I don't think it is, actually. I think you're wrong about that.

I love all the pictures of Mr. Zeal just doing Naruto poses, though. So good. It's so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Jack, how much would this spoon that's going to solve my weight loss problem, how much would this spoon set me back? So that's going to be $800 minus shipping and handling. And you can get that

November 22nd, 27th, if you order now. Check, check. Sounds good. I'm going to go ahead and just add this to the cart, but I'm assuming that if I add several products from the same seller, I can probably

get a discount or whatever. Do you have any other products that are for sale? Yeah, I sure, I sure do. So there's the fork, obviously the lesser of the utensils. Uh, so there's also the radiant wealth talisman,

uh, attract money. Talisman brings good fortune abundance. Great, great, great. I want a tuning fork. How much would it cost to have a tuning fork?

Uh, yeah, that's going to be, Yeah, that's going to be $989. Wow. I would be offended if you didn't provide free shipping. You get free shipping with that. You also get free shipping for the silver wearable box of holding thousands of symbols, futuristic, metaphysical, spiritual, talisman, psychic, sigils, runes, sci-fi, Atlantis, gemstone. That's just an iPhone. That's all that is.

No, it looks like Castle Grayskull, mostly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's real He-Manny. Yes, hello? Hello? Hello. My name is Bello. Hello, Bello.

Hello, Bello. I've got a five-star review for the Archangel's Blessing 100% Silk Scarf and Wall or a dot, dot, dot. I'm still waiting for this order, the Radiant Well Talisman, but for sure I know I will like them. Thanks. I'm looking through this I'm looking through this this document here this seller, this Etsy seller I've hung out with all of you in person and one of the things that I've noticed

about you, and I've collected it and I haven't really said anything about it but I'm fucking disgusted by your cell phone cases. So this is the Pleiades Norse cell phone fine jewelry wealth holster clip futuristic Viking magic alien rune goth pagan silver gold metaphysical. Oh, good. I needed one of those. So he also does SEO.

That's interesting. Make your cell phone regal. Enshrined in solid silver and gold sacred geometry. Make your cell phone indestructible. You know how gold is really not pliable at all? Make your cell phone magical. Inscribed in sigils of Icelandic sagas and Sumerian hieroglyphs that stood the test of time. As the most vital and expensive piece of personal equipment, you shouldn't own your cell phone.

Oh, you shouldn't. Oh, oh, fuck. This is hard to read. Go for it. As the most vital and expensive piece of personal equipment you own, shouldn't your cell phone and its accessories be nearly indestructible? Shouldn't it be nearly inaccessible? And

wouldn't it be great if you could use the same luxury grade accessories with any and all phones you will ever own and all of those that you have owned? Wow. Yeah, yeah. It's a Panacea cell phone case.

It works for everything. Built to last, like you, and made to grow, with you. Let's say your galactic gear takes a bullet for you and needs repair. Have us restore it or transform it into a ring for you. Mail it in to us with a check for about $90 and we will transform it into a ring pendant or bracelet. Skyden Zeal is the only fashion designer artist and true devout spiritualist

who can and will do this for each and everyone who requests it. I will take your gold and give you back less gold if you give me some money in return. Lemon? Yes? I have a serious proposition for the next F Plus Live here.

I've just sent you an Etsy link. Okay. I think we should get this for all of the ridiculous. why don't you explain what you're looking at there why don't you look at what you're okay so what we can get for only 250 dollars per per and it's free shipping okay okay okay past life portraits soul retrieval give the gift of confidence hand-painted incorporated incorporated psychic reading, spiritual custom artwork, oil wedding. Oh shit.

Yeah. So this is, we can get portraits of our past lives. Oh wow. And they're painted with real gems. You say? Yep. Okay.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Except for I'm actually looking at one of his listings of what this looks like. And it's just trash Photoshop. It's just real trash Photoshop. I thought you were going to say one of them is just a screen from Return of the Jedi. a screen from Return of the Jedi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he took a photo of Rutger Howard and then

just sort of, like, did the smudge effect on it for a while. So, Rutger Howard doesn't have an ear anymore. Yeah, so $250. Okay, so... Oh, oh, shit. Oh, this thing seems to have a poem.

Ironicus. Yeah? Let's look here at the Archangel series. The Archangel Michael Shield Pendant. Oh, wait, actually, you don't have to go to the website. I found it on Etsy as well. Oh, good. The listing is unavailable, but the text is legible so that's the part that matters god i guess the the 12th

millennium item yes okay uh there's a poem you say it really actually it really looks like some jewelry that Will.i.am would wear. So, you know, it's a pendant. It does various psychic things. But importantly, in the name of my I am presence, I call forth Archangel Michael's blue flame sword to send Archangel Michael. Enter thou most holy, in the light. Increase my will to be granted me greater faith. Stand with me. Bind discouragement. Bind apathy.

Bind fear. Give me greater faith than I've known before, Archangel Michael. Come into my world. Increase my sense of victory. Amplify my light. Transmute my substance. Protect my chakras. Guard my heart.

Fill me with the spirit of overcoming, teach me right application of the law, Archangel Michael, overshadow me, bind the engines of war upon this planetary body, protect my mission, sustain me, sustain my family, guard my finances, protect the Christ child adorning in me, guard of all life, protect the child adorning in the womb, Archangel Michael. Seal me. Archangel Michael! Archangel Michael! Archangel Michael! I am the guard in Archangel Michael.

Archangel Michael, don't hurt him. I am the guard in Archangel Michael's name. I am the flame of freedom that lives in your heart. I am the twin flame action of Archangel Michael and beloved faith. I am the victorious sense of my own God, free being made manifest right where I am. I am the spirit of overcoming. I am Michael, Michael.

Michael, it is done. It is finished. It is sealed. And I accept my victory now. Michael in lighting. Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael. Hey, Ironicus, I'm a business person. Do you think this pendant could benefit me?

Whether you're a yogi or a business person, our pendant benefits everyone. Oh, thank God. The blue flame sword energy that our pendant carries can be used during visualization to clear obstacles, bad habits, banish entities, consecration, and cut psychic cords between yourself and people who may be draining you. It can also be used to heal yourself and others. Our Archangel Michael also carries the spear that he used to destroy the devil. A psychic cord, so like, sort of like a psychic tube that I can shoot out at people? Like, I'm imagining Scorpion's spear.

Is that what that is? The psychic cord? I think it's a weird way to bury the lead that the devil has been destroyed, though. Well, that's why everything's so great on Earth right now. We've managed to banish all evil. Good job, guys. Took a couple decades, but I think we pretty much got there. USA! USA!

We're going to go into, look at some customer feedback. Some real humans who have some things to say about I like real humans. Yeah, real humans are great. the actual all of the reviews are also

pasted on ugly Photoshop graphics, so they're no easier to read. But this is a letter from May of 2015 from an actual human. And Jack, if you'll take that one, please. Just the first one out of customer feedback.

Sure. Andrew Wilkie, president of pathoflight.org.uk, an international beacon of light based in England and true psychic and medium, has this to say. I am wondering if you could recommend what would be best for me as either the angelic shield or the radiant wealth talisman as I feel I am very protected since I bought the archangel Michael talisman from you and need to focus on finance right now. Also, I noticed something

interesting this morning. I think it was my talisman doing something, space comma, as I was seeing the flashes of light but they were hypnotizing slash healing patterns. The talisman is working great, and so is the scarf. I have also been told by friends that God and Jesus are watching over me, and I sense now Thor and Tyr as well. I even supercharged the talisman with radionics software and noticed it was receptive to positive energizations of many kinds. The horrible students have been quite since. The street is also quite once again,

and only having slight problems with the students at 16 now slamming doors day and night, man. Everybody in this community is really good at writing. It's what you got. I am Gus Kavasas. Yep, you sure are. Are you good at anything, Gus?

Yep. I'm a Reiki master and spiritualist. Yay! Yay! Who writes about my experience with the angel's trident used in sound healing. I know what an angel's Trident is used for. Heal sounding. Hi, Skyden.

It's me, Gus. Just felt like sending an email to see how you're doing. I've used the Angel Trident that you made for me a few times during Reiki work, and I have had positive feedback from it i just sorry i like the higher frequency sounds as opposed to the tibetan sound bowls that i traditionally use oh boy the only difference is that the sound bowls are able to hold their sound longer maybe too long sometimes lol but the trident allows me to pinpoint direct access of the person's body to focus the sound as opposed to the 360 degree vibration that the sound bowl uses. It's like a fucking hi-fi nerd, but for Tibetan sound bowls.

They work very well in conjunction, and the trident has been a great tool for my healing work. I have also used it for clearing purposes around the house. I had one amazing experience with it while I was clearing my room. When I hit the trident with the mallet, there was some strange music that played along with it. The music seemed to be in response to the trident. The music only lasted for a short time, but it was amazing. I don't know if it was angelic in nature. Is the trident something that you got at Toys R Us when you hit it with a mallet?

It went, oh, I'm Aquaman. It's in your room that you're cleaning your room with a mallet and a trident anyway. And then it played the famous Aquaman music theme song that we all know. Yeah, exactly. Everybody sing along. I'm Aquaman. Talking to fish. Talking to fish.

I've got those tattoos. Lisa Bonet. I don't know if it was angelic in nature or something else, but it was cool. Anyways. Cool. I know you are a bussy. You're bussy. He's always bussy. Is it bussy?

Your boy is so much bussy. Anyway, I know you're a bussy and probably pressed for time. Hey, I know you're a bussy. So I'll keep it short. Have a nice day, Gus. That's my favorite typo in a while. What you got, Victor okay uh so i'm sally weber and uh i bought a customized ring so i just wrote in to say um oh my goddess my breath was taken away at first sight. Skyden, my talisman ring is beyond exquisite and words. Also doing the title case thing.

Yes, my talisman ring is words. Weird. I am in awe and wonderment as it's magnificent. I'm ecstatic and I love my ring. Star Trek symbol. The wings, symbols, and gemstones. Star Trek symbol. The wings, symbols, and gemstones. Star Trek symbol. OMG, I am so delighted and love my ring.

Did I mention I love my ring? What Star Trek symbol do you think she got? Obviously the Picard holding his forehead one. Obviously the Picard holding his forehead one. My secret opal and outstanding Tanzanite, Star Trek symbol. I hope you'll send me what and where all the symbols mean and placed. And this is only my first look. We mean live long and prosper.

We went through this. I'm going to now look some more. This is a one and only between you and I, Star Trek symbol. Anyone else will have a different phase of planets and channel if you're asked to recreate. I'm so blown away in the best way ever. I'm having a New York born moment. My heart is overjoyed. Oh my goodness.

Skyden, I'm so proud for you and of you. Muchly love, Sally. R-H-R. Rrrr. Rrrr. Rrrr. That is the realest human I think we're going to get.

Yep, definitely. My name is Barbara in Long Island, and I have this to write. Hi, Skye. So, wow. With the news of my new psychic Moldavite pendants, dreams are actually happening. Where I usually do not dream, card readings are more clear. Feeling more psychic and empowered. Clearer communication with angels.

All of my Claire's active. You know, the piercing parlors? Yeah, no, totally. They're all open. I'm just giving people infections left and right. It's going great. Most of all, you had mentions that the extraterrestrials will seek me out. Well, one has.

Yesterday, he had given me confirmation on all that came to me during this week of wearing the pendant. He told me that I am Pleiadine, had sprites around me with some serious guides, receive a new guide from Rinpochechi lineage and how to receive pleading messages four hours with this man and we didn't want it to end but had to work lol all the best and light and love barbara p.s sometimes christian sleeps in. Lol. And then I've included a picture of a guy that looks like Kevin Sorbo wearing a Yu-Gi-Oh! headband. I was going to say Harrison Ford, but okay. Okay. Okay.

But yeah, so it's a guy wearing a Yu-Gi-Oh! headband that's also a scarf. a guy wearing a Yu-Gi-Oh headband that's also a scarf. Ironicus, you see the GoFundMe there? I do. If you expand out the sort of like text and okay. Over and over

again. Yeah, exactly. If you can just start at on June 17th. On June 17th, 2020, a longtime professional artist, Skyden Zeal, was physically attacked several times by a man who confronted the artist as he sat just a few feet from the sidewalk creating artwork on a laptop. So he beat your ass, walked away, came back, beat your ass, walked away. The artist was seated in front of a boarded up closed storefront, which was 15 feet from the steps to the building where the assailant was heading to his $2,800 penthouse apartment after presumably... That shit on Redfin. After presumably working out.

The man's justifications for the attack was that the artist was on private property. The assailant was told that his attacks are being filmed, and he continuously said that he didn't care, and that the artist should try to sue. It was implied that the artist wouldn't have a chance because of the economic disparity between the assailant and the victim.

Yeah, it was implied. It was implied. Okay. Skyden Zeal's weak old laptop was rendered inoperable in the attack. This laptop was a replacement for another seven-day-old laptop, which was stolen from Skyden Zeal along with his phone

when he was attacked and robbed by four homeless men. Okay, I feel like you're not super blessed by the gods there, Skyden. Just get another one from the future or the past. Photos and the police report are available.den zeal i believe you skyden zeal says that these are but a few ongoing incidents over the years that have called him to action both to seek an art patron to share the costs and profits of an art show to address these serious societal problems. In addition, proceeds will go to an artist's charity slash cause. What? You broke my laptop and my feelings are hurt?

I'm going to do such an art about you. Just wait. I'm going to art you so hard. I'm going to sue you, or failing that, get people to give me money. You wouldn't think this was so funny if I did art, huh?

Huh? Look at him doing art over there! Somebody ought to do something about that. Skyden comments, I have paid my dues during my many, many years of post-graduation struggling. Yeah, I bet. As I climb...

I bet you were in art school for a good 12 years. As I climbed further heights of accomplishment in my artwork, the less I was appreciated. As my create-only lifestyle refined my character, I could not bear to waste a moment in the pursuit of status. I had made myself addicted to creativity. Such a rare accomplishment must be quickly endorsed, even in a meager amount so that the artist is not destroyed but rather put to use by society. The war against the honest worker that the Corona locked...

The honest worker? You literally just said I refuse to do anything that's not the pursuit of art that you have to give me money for. That the Corona lockdown has made it impossible for a dejected artist to do his small part in keeping

New York's so-called soul alive. Skyden relates that many years of awful roommates and tough breaks has cleaned out his bank account. So you're not good at picking roommates. That's what I'm hearing. So you're not good at picking roommates.

That's what I'm hearing. So you have a bad day. You take a run down. Yes. The headline of his GoFundMe is artists must not be erased by the civilization they create. Then a Navy SEAL shooting Plato, I guess?

Maybe it's one of them Rembrandt-like painters that Skynet is among the rarefied ranks of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did we learn from any of this, F+,? I mean,

I learned how to design a fucking website from a front end perspective. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You just, yeah, you put in the, do it,

start with a center tag and then put it in IMG and you're done. That's what websites look like. I learned the sky didn't really does have control of light because while we were recording one of the bulbs above me burned out but in the last 10-15 minutes it turned back on Nice No explanation

You usually have to buy a $400 or $500 Etsy thing to make that happen Did you do Reiki on the light? That's the Skyden zealotry at work. He just wanted to connect with your light language. Do you think

Skyden Zeal has real customers? I mean, he has to. Aren't some of the Etsys confirmed? It shows 88 sales. Okay, yeah? Yeah, it shows 88 sales. Etsy does have 88 sales. None of these things are cheap.

You're going to shop from Skyden Zeal. You're going to spend at least $300 on anything. This is high quality bullshit. 88 of these purchases. I just don't... It is elaborate. It is elaborate. It is elaborate.

It looks cheap as shit, but it also looks, it looks like a lot of time was spent on this cheap as shit stuff. Where does the food go in this food? Where does the food go in this food? That's how you lose weight, dumbass.

It still do not know. It doesn't. Like, I feel like these, like some of these pieces of jewelry, like if it was on like a, you know, a cyberpunk 2049 character,

like you wouldn't, it would be, it wouldn't look that weird. You know what I mean? I think that's his whole aesthetic. Honestly. Yeah. Like he like fucking read the cyberpunk source material and was just like, It wouldn't look that weird. You know what I mean? I think that's his whole aesthetic, honestly. Yeah. He fucking read the Cyberpunk source material

and was just like, oh yeah, no, this is what I'm doing for the rest of my life. Oh, this shit will look so cool inside of the Unreal lighting engine. This was the one guy who actually thought that shamans in Cyberpunk were cool. one guy who actually thought that shamans and cyberpunk were cool.

That is a specific joke for a specific audience. Thanks, Jack. Yeah, if you like that joke, you literally owe him a dollar. What if I give it to Frank West? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm looking at this thing right now. Juan's got a one-star review for the tuning fork because he says,

item never arrived, got lost in USPS, and seller did not insure. Which is cute, except for that means that this guy spent $1,200 on a tuning fork, didn't get the tuning fork and went, I'm leaving a one-star review. I'll show you, bring down your ratings.

Holy fucking shit. I don't, I don't understand. I don't understand I don't understand where somebody like this can find customers stop being mean to Skyden the light just went out again I will grant you that Skyden Zeal

is like a pretty cute twink I get that but I don't get he cannot form a thought and so I'm very confused that like cute twink. I get that. But I don't get... He cannot form a thought. And so I'm very confused that he could captivate an audience. Because it doesn't make any fucking sense.

And if you want a place that doesn't make any fucking sense, you can go to BallPits. That's B-L-P dot I-T. What's you been posting about lately, Jack Chick? You know, mostly just fucking weightlifting. How many plates you up to there, buddy?

You know, really it's not about the number of plates I'm up to in the physical realm, but how many I'm up to with the spirit guides. I love the notion of just like, man, I'm up to with the spirit guides. Okay. I love the notion of just like, man, I'm up to three plates. I had to up it. I had to up the weight, so now I'm down to two

plates. Yeah, I do like to explain my workout in terms of an algebra word problem. Jack has three blades that weigh ten. Um, that's all probably, or maybe, it's probably all. I'm sure it's actually all. Goodbye! Bye! Bye!

This website is made from control panels from like Stargate. I was about to say this is, yeah, this is, this definitely looks like the, like the website for one of the Stargate TV shows, but like pass through the D's filter. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm impressed at how little of this is clickable. Yeah. Because it all looks clickable. Where's the image map? It's true. I'm really surprised. There's's the image map? It's true

I'm really surprised there's not an image map On any of this shit