The F Plus - 4: You've Got A Friend
Episode Date: October 24, 2009Everyone needs a support system. And this week, we've mined the the profiles and forums of an internet support group, in order to help you through any troubling times. ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lay out me your ears and I'll sing you a song
I will try not to sing out of key
Oh baby, how do you find me?
All I need is my body How do you find me? All I need is my body.
I'm saying I'm gonna get high.
Hey there, folks. Welcome to the F Plus Podcast.
Terrible Things Read with Enthusiasm.
My name's Lemon.
And I'm John.
And what did you do this week, John?
Not much. Went to school. Did some working out. T name's Lemon. And I'm John. And what did you do this week, John? Not much. Went to school,
did some working out, tidied up
things, you know, a little bit of this
and that. And what did you do this week?
Well, this week I quit
smoking. Awesome.
Yes, yes. I quit smoking
for 46 hours.
Oh, congratulations. 46
long hours,
dotted with cigarettes on either side of them.
And that one cigarette
at hour 46
was fantastic.
Yeah, that one, when you jump back on.
There was opium in that smoke.
It was wonderful.
So, yeah, I'm still smoking
these days.
I've got a friend that's taking a Clockwork Orange kind of drug.
I don't know if you know about this.
There's like a drug that you can take that makes cigarette smoking unpleasant.
Oh, yes, yes.
I've heard of that.
I forget if that's all the medicine does, but there's some medicines that like they have that effect as well.
Yeah.
It sounds horrifying.
I'm not really willing to go that land.
But I was thinking about, I don't know,
I mean, I'm not really a support group kind of person,
but I was thinking about, you know,
because there's support groups for anti-smoking stuff.
And, you know, doing it anonymous on the internet.
Right.
And actually, fortuitously, I got an email from
I got an email from um i got an email from bitterly
indifferent um who does a section called bitterly books which we'll put on the website which is
fantastic he does reviews of terrible books it's it's really great um but anyway he gave me this
email to this um this group called uh Strength. All right.
And what it is is essentially you have somebody that has a disorder.
Lots of them are into cutting or massive obesity
or pornography addiction or whatever.
And so if you're in that problem,
what you should do is you should go onto a website
and talk about it with people that have the same thing,
and it's not like it will make your problem worse.
Oh, all right.
So, you know, yeah, I guess I don't know how the results are,
but I get the idea, you know, kind of have a support group,
but just, you know, on your own.
I mean, honestly, you don't have to go.
You don't have to leave the house.
You can be obese at home and also talk about it with people who are obese.
It sounds like a great system.
So I was mining that site for a couple days, and there was gold on it. and also talk about it with people who are obese. It sounds like a great system.
So I was mining that site for a couple days,
and there was gold on it.
You know, usually in this F Plus podcast,
we kind of wrap up a little theme and bring you different things.
This time, there was entirely too much gold just from this site.
Oh, yes.
So we've got a kind of different approach.
We just are doing forum posts from dailystrength.com
in different sections.
Oddly, one of the most unhealthy ones
is a section called Healthy Sex,
as well as obesity
and female sexual issues
and whatever we could find.
Yeah, because an anonymous sex forum on the internet, there's no way that could get creepy or weird or bring out a whole host of issues.
Or it would only bring out the classiest people.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Classy, classy, classy individuals.
So we're going to just do and have our cadre of F Plus readers readers just kind of tag-team it and do it like that.
I don't know.
John, you ready to get started?
I sure am.
All right.
Let's get started.
All right.
So the voices you're going to be hearing will be numerous and hopefully not terribly unpleasant.
We have tonight Ace Rockwaddle.
I'm Ace.
I forgot.
Boots Reingear.dle. I'm Ace. I forgot. Boots Reingear.
Hey, I'm speaking.
Bunnybread.
Hello, ladies.
John.
Hello, peoples.
Jack Chick.
Hello.
Kumquat Stop.
Why, hello.
Isfahan.
Hey, folks, thanks for coming out this evening.
And myself.
Hello.
Hello.
That's what I'll do I'll see through
I'll see through
Guys and or girls,
would you tell someone their genitals smelled
if you were going down on them?
Like a one-night stand,
do you just get up and walk away?
Tell them?
Just stop what you're doing?
The worst experience I ever had...
Sorry.
Wow. Wow.
Sorry, I just read ahead.
Be in the message, not of the message.
The worst experience I ever had with that
was a guy going down on me and said,
Mmm, tastes kind of bloody.
I like it.
I was so effing gross out.
I guess the period snuck up on me.
I got up so fast and left without saying a word.
How creepy.
As for my husband and I,
if he stinks from sweat, shit, I'll tell him.
Ew, go shower, your dick smells.
No shame in my game. None. I have tell him. Ew, go shower, your dick smells. No shame in my game.
None.
I have been known to say, um, nicely.
Hey, how about we go take a shower together before we get started, lol.
Ew, that is so gross, Rose.
I like to shower before sex anyhow.
So no probs, W, that smelly stinky shit, lol.
I can't deal with the smell of BM
swing and a miss
sweat is a whatever anymore
never used to be able to do it
now it does not bother me
I will just stop going down and find
something else to do. No point in
ruining the mood, Colin P.
Now, if it
was a one-night stand or a swing
situation, fuck that, I would
just not hit it at all!
That's like seven exclamation marks.
My ex-wife had a serious odor she could step out of a shower
and still not smell good she must have had some kind of hormone problem or some other problem
that made her not smell good between the odor and the hair you needed a gas mask a map and a
wee wacker to dive in there i imagine it is like men's semen tasting different on what they eat
nine ore so I have heard
I presume
the women also have a similar problem
a few women I have been with
in the past had absolutely no
odor even before showering
or washing
girly
I agree
ew Rose I don't play that shit I took off this girl's underwear off Girlie, I agree. Ew, Rose!
I don't play that shit.
I took off this girl's underwear off,
looked at the kitty cat,
and I saw something white.
Until this day, I'm not sure if it was just toilet paper or what,
but I told her to put her clothes on and dip.
On my part, I got throw up playing soccer, and this girl
wanted to fuck so bad
she couldn't. I
wasmed up for it because I wanted to
take a shower first. She tried to
convince me by sucking my dick.
Then she stoped and picked
something out of her mouth.
That was the end of that.
That's disgusting.
I'm with Gomez.
I'm with Gomez.
My ex-wife, not the red-haired harlot,
had a snatch that smelled like...
It didn't matter if she was straight out of the shower.
The girl was pretty, had a killer body, was 21,
could suck the chrome off of a bumper,
but it was like going down on an old
tennis shoe. I just couldn't
with my oral fixation deal with it.
The red-haired harlot smelled
and tasted good, but she was just evil.
Once she moved out, I found
a pentagram under the bed with black candle
wax on the points. Not really.
If the tati
is hot, and I'm horny
enough, then the smell really doesn't
bother me. In fact, it can be
more of a turn-on.
Honestly, this has never
happened to me, Noxonwood.
I am
with Sapphire on this one.
Sweat smell is about the
only thing I have ever encountered,
and depending upon the person, that can be a huge turn on.
My wife says, I ain't sucking that, it smells all the time.
If I hadn't just come out of the shower,
so now I'm starting to pull that line on her.
I ain't going down on you, you didn't shower since yesterday.
LOL.
Which is kind of weird, because I'd never turn down a chance to lick pussy,
but hey, tit for tat, LOL.
These guys have such healthy relationships.
Only tuna from
Canada, please!
That voice
fit that picture perfectly
which is kind of weird because i never turned down a chance to look pussy but hey tit for tat
lol no you lick her tit you lick her taint not her tat unless she has a tattoo there
ouch jayenson, is that
albacore tuna? Is it dolphin free?
I'd never even dolphin on porpoise.
Oh!
Thanks.
My guy always wants to lick it after I've been
working out, and I'm like,
ew, now I'm sweaty! But he says it's not
gross. Hmm.
I guess I'm kind of the same in a way,
because I'll go down on him when,
after he's been working all day.
He honestly always smells good, though.
Sometimes sweat, if it's clean sweat,
if that makes sense,
can be good tasting.
Salty, lol.
Young Rose, I would have been horrified
I would have gotten up and ran out
This has only happened
While I was going down on a man one time
I was like
I'm sorry but who need a shower
And I need to leave
That's just a big turn off
I've had a man
Hit it so hard that it caused me to start early
Though
Has anyone had this experience before?
Oh, Jesus.
I'm not sure what that means, but it's horrifying.
Somebody fucked her so hard she started having her period.
Oh, no.
No, thank you.
You're welcome.
I bring an important service here.
You do.
I don't think that's medicinally possible.
This is going to be the vomiting episode, isn't it?
I'm really glad that I don't have any food in the house,
so I'm not going to be tempted to eat.
This is a tap-out episode of F+.
I got us started early on the drinking,
so I'm well insulated.
Bring it on.
So this one, I'm just going to, this lady likes ellipses.
So anytime you're hearing an ellipses, or anytime you're hearing a pause,
it's because there's an ellipses there.
I hope you're going to scale the pauses for the length of the ellipses.
I see a 15-period pause there.
I mean, we could just go out for dinner and come back.
Exactly.
All right.
Experiences.
Got any?
Mine.
So last week I was in town.
I seen these three gorgeous black guys go past me.
So I made a signal to let them know.
Lol.
Well, I actually blew them a kiss.
Wow.
One minute later, one of the guys comes after me asking if I dance.
Yeah, I do.
I love to dance.
He says that he's a dance tutor and I would like to see his studio.
Of course I do.
I go in.
I'm a bit apprehensive because there are three of them and only one of me.
We go upstairs to the studio.
He puts on the musiche and presto.
We dance.
Turns out he is a
well-known dance instructor.
It was nice.
He had strong arms
and we just danced.
It was also
hot.
Lol.
Oh, shit.
He wanted to get giggy.
But I'm a good girl and said no.
It was a pleasant experience, though.
One I will remember.
Randomness.
I love it.
I was at the beach and this guy came running
out of nowhere naked and jumped in the water.
I guess it was a dare,
or a bet with some friends, but the
boldness of it, and the random nature
of his behavior was sexy as hell.
I'm in desperate need of a sexy experience.
That's all I got to say about
that, winky face.
I'm with you on that one, B.
BTW, good to
see you and Lucy Lou. Missing you
guys.
I got a few.
I'm being dared to go skinny dipping.
I always weasel my way out of it.
But the randomness being sex eye
got my attention, hee hee.
So my man and my sister
and brother-in-law went across the river
to a well-known food place.
Let's go to a well-known food place.
While we were hanging out there,
we went outside,
and we're kind of people-watching,
sorry,
and we're kind of PPL-watching.
I was waiting for a friend to show.
We let her see this couple in the middle of the hall and of these tables sitting close together.
Shez smiling from ear to ear.
Number two.
Number two.
Just keep rolling.
I look down and in plain sight he has his arm wrapped around her and down her pants.
That was hot.
Neither one of them were the least concerned
that the place was packed.
That place, once again, being a well-known food place.
I love well-known food place.
God, it's my favorite place.
Oh, hi, Mark.
A couple weekends back, I'm driving through a college town,
and there's this guy laying out in the park in the sun with his girlfriend next to him, or so I thought.
Got up closer, stopped at the stoplight next to them.
Turns out she had a white sundress on, no panties, and was riding him right there in the park.
There were people
everywhere, too. It was real hot.
Sounds like you
had fun, Lucy.
I haven't had a sexy experience
in ages.
I used to live
in FL, and one night I went to the beach
with a guy that I was dating and some friends,
and we were sitting on the beach talking and hanging out.
I looked over, and there was a couple up in the lifeguard booth going to town and doing each other in plain view.
I motioned and pointed to my friends, and we all just watched them for a while.
Free show!
I'm on the kinky side in my sex life.
One day I got turned on and was in the mood for barbecue,
so I drizzled some barbecue sauce on my husband's dick.
Oh, yeah.
Best barbecue I ever had.
There was no barbecue sauce left on my fingers or my husband.
It was all gone without a trace.
I've tried all different flavors on my man, and I like them all.
I like to keep things fun and new.
So you want the KC Masterpiece or the Kraft tonight?
Well, I've tried the Bullseye bold and the bullseye spicy.
The bullseye bold and spicy.
Hell yes, it's bold.
Look at it.
I'm moving on to the KC Masterpiece next week.
It gets you here.
And it gets you right here.
Try Kahlua or peanut butter.
My wife loves to take a sip of Kahlua and suck me.
Also, she loves peanut butter
no matter how it is served.
Oh, that's so coy.
That's very coy.
Thank you for sharing. I've never tried a
Kahlua-flavored man-pop before.
Sounds good.
The peanut butter-flavored man-pop doesn't appeal to me, even though I like peanut butter.
These are the flavors I have tried.
Whipped cream, chocolate,
strawberry, caramel, butterscotch,
maple, mint, cinnamon,
cherry, orange, raspberry, watermelon,
sour apple, barbecue, and honey.
Feed me!
Feed me!
Do they sell those at well-known food places?
With like check marks next to them.
That's like,
hey guys, I'm totally sucking dicks.
Look, here's a mint dick I just sucked.
Kahlua-flavored man pop.
No, no, that's Kahlua.
Kahlua-flavored man pop.
I'm wondering if she tried all of those man pops in the same, no, that's Kahlua. Kahlua-flavored man pops. I'm wondering if she tried all of those man pops in the same, like, you know,
like she had a big gangbang and was like,
no, I need to have different condiments on each.
Orgy's over, we're out of ketchup.
She hasn't had a butter one yet.
Combining this is why you're fat and sex. She hasn't had a butter one yet.
Combining this is why you're fat and sex.
It's the best in Robbins of Fletcher.
That list is highly inaccurate.
There's no ranch dressing.
There you go.
There you go.
You should make an account and suggest it.
Yeah, food and sex is a great combo.
Anyone hungry for a banana split, Winky Face?
No.
Wow, that sounds really good.
Just don't split my banana, lol.
Lol.
Oh, this is, okay.
This is our for life history.
I love banana splits.
When it comes to sexual ones,
I skip the ice cream and I scream.
He provides the banana and I provide the split. Ugh.
Thanks for explaining that.
Is it hot in here?
Nobody picks up on that.
I like whipped cream and toppings.
If we don't have any when we get started,
we will top each other and just whip up some
cream of our own.
For I provide the cherry,
he provides the nuts.
Oh!
Oh, no, wait. It is just me. It's not hot
in here at all.
And it doesn't get much sweeter than that.
She totally stole that from somewhere
else. I think there was a bit of innuendo
in that.
She rehearses her lines.
You're crazy, man.
Hi, Dewey69Cox.
Don't you know that your banana
already comes split?
Lol.
Brian,
how split is your banana?
Question mark, question mark.
Lol.
Lol.
Um, not sure I get it.
Scratches my head.
My banana being split sounds painful.
Lol.
But speaking of bananas, I love to use one on a woman.
Okay, you have to use a non-ripe, really firm one.
Then eventually it fills up, still ends up sort of dissolving inside her and all over.
Oh, gosh!
And then I love to clean up the mess.
Oh, boy.
Under-ripe banana.
Ryan, oh, the split in the banana that I'm talking about is the little slit or opening at the tip of a man's penis.
What?
Lol.
It's not painful.
It comes naturally built in.
Lol.
I know all about that banana trick you're talking about.
Maybe you should start a class for that here on H.S.
You could title it,
How to Get Your Five a Day the Brian O. Way, lol.
The healthy and horny way to get the vitamins and minerals that you need for optimum nutrition.
It's the perfect way to get your five a day no matter what your schedule is.
You can do it at home, work, or just about anywhere. It's ideal
for people that are on the go, lol.
Do yourself a favor and try
Brian O's five a day today.
But wait, if you
call to order and register for Brian O
in the next 15 minutes, we will include
this special bonus offer. You will
also get a free copy of Art for Life's
Instructional Guide for Weight Loss.
So what are you waiting?
Call now.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
asterisk, asterisk,
asterisk, x-x-x.
Yeah,
reading that, I don't think I want to eat.
I don't think that's a real phone number.
This is
the most awkward
conversation.
I just imagine going into an actual support group and this happening.
I'm eating healthy!
I'm just having problems with my sex life.
I love to pour barbecue sauce on my husband's dick.
It's like, I think I came in the wrong room.
I'd like to give my wife a yeast infection.
It was real fun when we
went to no known food place.
Hey, Mom, guess what I learned today? I learned that a
banana split stands for
a urethra.
Our next topic is too wet.
Oh, God.
Too wet. Okay,
from a guy's point of view, can a girl be too wet?
I've done some reading and have mostly found the answer to be the wetter the better.
Just wanted to see what your opinions are.
I know you're asking for a guy's opinion,
but I have this issue sometimes where I get so super-duper wet
that I almost can't feel the penetration.
I know that's what you're thinking.
I'm either too loose or hubby's too small,
but that's not the case.
If I am slopping wet,
it glides way too easy,
making it hard to feel the fiction against me.
I have to sometimes get a towel and wipe up.
For real.
At least we don't need lube.
Ha ha.
I've been W slash A woman
who had that situation before.
Wasn't the least bit
pleasing.
Neither was the fact that I wouldn't have slept with her
if I was sober though.
LOL.
Oh, hell no.
The wetter the better.
More for me to play in.
I don't have that problem.
He does!
Arm gets so annoying!
When he finishes, his load is so huge that it's hard to clean up!
Oh no!
Wet! It's too wet! It's amazing!
I feel like she's being pleased more when she's wet.
Yay!
It's not as tight because there is no friction,
but the fact that she is put in that mood makes me want to cum harder.
Bravo.
Bravo.
The wetter the better, roll it down the river of love.
Yes.
It's that guy again.
I love that guy.
If you're with the right kind of person,
I wouldn't mind cleaning you up
themselves a little bit
before.
I have been with several women
and they were all great.
The one that I remember the most is the one that
flowed like a river.
I could never get her out of my mind.
You can't get too wet, the wetter the better.
If it is auror penetration, I love the wet woman.
I'd just like to point out that that person's avatar is a tombstone for the United States.
It says, born July 4th, 1776,
died November 4th, 2008.
Suicide.
Suicide.
I was going to point that out.
That's great.
I'll do a quick man vote here.
The more you respond,
whether it is by sound, movement,
or gushing like a whitewater river,
no one attended,
they feel it, and they
respond to it. The more
you react, the more they see,
think, and feel that they are causing it.
And nothing boosts his ego more
than knowing he is pleasing his
woman. No pun intended,
of course.
I don't get it. It's really a pun.
Wetness all over my manhood feels
good when I'm inside you.
Never too wet.
And if it slides out, I can get down there with my mouth and lick some of it up.
Colon P.
I like wet.
I like puddles, soaked sheets, and wet dripping from my mustache.
Young Rose, it almost sounds as if you are too wet
and I am concerned that you
may have some kind of infection
because you should never be so wet
that you can't feel a penetration.
You might want to get that looked into.
Nope, I get checked
regularly and I'm good to go.
No infections, but
I don't think that would be the problem anyway.
If you have an infection of some sort, usually you have a discharge.
Not sleek wetness like you get during sex.
It's not all the time either.
I mean, allays get wet, but sometimes during those hot sessions
where everything is a go, I am extra drippy.
Lol.
Well, that makes it easy for you, Rose, but sometimes
ruins the feeling.
I bet it's messy, too.
Okay.
A guy's opinion here. I personally
love it when my wife gets that wet.
Like Strange
says, it's a real
ego booster for me. Sheets
wash, and there are always towels around
for cleanup. For me,
it's knowing that she's so hot
and so turned on by what we're doing,
and that gets me going
even more.
I'll have to ask her about the
not feeling it when she gets that wet.
From the orgasms
she has, I don't think it's ever
been a problem.
I love it. Super wet.
And I have never left her too wet with my cum.
That's what your toon is for.
And they cum real hard when you do it.
Well, I am really surprised
at all the positive responses on this.
I get really wet during sex,
and I've always wondered if that was
a good or bad thing.
I, too, find it to be a little annoying
for me, a little too slippery.
But if the guy likes it,
that's good enough for me.
Maybe I'm a bit
naive, but I thought wet was
what we wanted.
I also saw a post about clitorises
being too sensitive.
Lowercase O period capital O.
When I am 70, I will dream of being wet with a sensitive clitoris.
Lol.
Not to make too many jokes, but seriously.
Uh, okay.
Aww.
I've always wondered the same thing.
I get very wet-toe.
Sometimes too wet for me, but never had the guts to ask.
Imagine that!
Sounds like maybe we girls are the only ones bothered by it.
I have to wonder.
We are here because we like sex so much.
Maybe that's the connection.
Women who like it less probably don't have this problem, I bet.
But seriously, I find having something nearby to give it a little wipe works wonders.
Letting the guy do some cleanup is always fun, too, if he's into it.
For me, that just makes it worse, though.
Lol.
Dry equals equals bad.
Wet equals equals excellent.
Extremely wet equals okay, but less friction.
Extremely wet equals excellent if gal really knows her kegels.
I think that was a C code right there.
Yeah.
You got tired halfway through.
Well, no, the first part is doing comparisons,
and the second part is actually setting.
Setting a variable.
Yeah, setting a variable.
Oh, so if dry
equals bad, and if wet
equals excellent, then extremely wet
is okay, but less friction. Yes.
Correct. Okay.
Awesome. I feel like I learned something today.
It certainly would
make things better if some warm,
damp hand towels were kept at the
bedside.
This is called asexual or just growing up?
No, it's grong up.
Grong up.
So, I'm so into guys, right?
Right, they are so fine.
But anyway, I think about my ex, but I'm not really that interested in ding it.
I'm a virgin, by the way, and 17.
No first kiss either.
So what's going on with me?
I never get wet anymore.
no first kiss either, so what's going on with me? I never get wet anymore.
Probably because
you're way too young to save it for the one you
love like I did. I was 19 and married
to him now. Just wait, it will
be better.
You never get wet. Is that the problem?
Obviously, I'm not a doctor, but there are
medical conditions related to that.
Check WebMND.
That has happened to me sometimes sometimes maybe you don't have enough
foreplay you could be distracted or
stressed that was my problem
have there been any changes in your life in general
or meds you take X can be
dangerous so please don't go that direction
what
wait wait wait
and that was that was dream
in blue and the icon for that person
is the two kids
from Twilight
so she asks
hi I'm a virgin and he's like
maybe you're having too much sex
maybe
are you saying that the people on
Daily Support or whatever
are maybe not so good at reading comprehension?
No.
You can't be suggesting that.
All right, we'll keep the same response, or we'll keep the same readers and do this one.
I want that old man to show up again.
He will, I think.
I'm pretty sure there's another one from him.
So, screw guys.
My boyfriend and I just broke up because I'm too emotional.
He says he has never met another girl as emotional as me
and has never had these kinds of problems with any other girl.
He basically wants me to be emotionless,
or at least to not get sad as much as I do,
but he doesn't understand. The only time
I'm ever sad is when he makes me sad.
Aww.
But he says that's just an excuse.
Yeah, like I'm looking for an excuse to be
sad, like I want to be sad?
What the hell?
Aww. We aren't completely
over. I guess you could say we're kind of on a break.
But anyway, any girls had this problem before?
I know I'm emotional, but I mean, aren't most girls?
I know I'm not a girl, but I just wanted to respond and try to help you.
Anyway, maybe he's not dumping you just because you're too emotional.
Maybe he's doing this because he really doesn't know how to help you.
He may just feel like you're upset
over something really big and he doesn't want
to be involved with that.
He could be scared and he doesn't want to ruin anything
between you two. Either that
or maybe he knows
you're sad because of him and he doesn't
want that. He may be trying to push
you away because of something he's trying to face.
Maybe for him, what he's trying to face. Maybe for
him, what he's facing might be too much
for him to handle and it may come out to a bad
outcome. An outcome
that he doesn't want you involved with.
I've dated a few girls
before. Yeah, right.
And they were a little
more emotional than how you've described
yourself. I've never done this
to any of them before because I knew
I could handle it, or at least help them
become somewhat stable.
Jesus.
If anything, you should try and talk to him about
this. Maybe ask him to clear
up more. That was King Otaku
right there. Maybe ask him
to clear more of this up.
I.E., please touch me.
Actually, you're right.
He's got a Final Fantasy avatar.
No, that's Dante from Devil May Cry.
Oh, okay.
Thanks for clearing that up.
You're welcome.
Dante's smart.
Well, actually, it's young Dante from Devil May Cry 3.
Let me just adjust my fedora, and I will write a long post.
What's happening in this podcast?
Hun, I get sad a lot myself.
I'm one of those girls that don't talk about it to guys,
and that's why they make you feel like it's your fault.
Fuck them.
Girl, there's nothing wrong with letter U.
Yeah, like I do get sad over small things,
and he always says the things I get sad over are stupid.
Now, one thing I've tried to understand about him is that he was a Marine, has been to Iraq twice, and has seen things that I could never imagine going through.
So I know things I get aggravated over are somewhat petty, peaty to him.
I get that, though, but I think he might just be trying to push me away because he's done it once before.
He doesn't know how to show emotion, at least the sadness part.
He doesn't show it. He hides it or ignores it.
But that doesn't make it go away, and he just won't listen to anything I say.
Oh, and did I mention his crazy mood swings?
Yesterday we were fighting.
He left.
I talked to him a couple hours later,
and we had a completely normal conversation like nothing had ever happened.
The only difference is that the conversation didn't end in i love you but i guess that's to
be expected when on a break i don't know i'm just trying to give him time and back off a little and
then maybe we can talk about it like adults because i'm apparently the only i'm sorry
maybe we can talk about it like adults because apparently I'm the one who just wants to argue.
Ah, boys.
Wow, deja vu.
My ex-girlfriend said the same thing.
Granted, I'm a guy, but oh effin' well, she suggests a break.
And I told her, okay, goodbye, because I don't do breaks.
I know how you feel.
You've been accused of trying to play
victim, which is bullshit.
Girls are not supposed to be
dick-sucking robots. Sorry, boys.
What?
That's not what I was told!
Just speak your mind.
If he thinks you sound silly, whatever.
Don't ever change yourself for a guy.
Dick-sucking robots. I'm sure as hell not changing for him. If he thinks you sound silly, whatever. Don't ever change yourself for a guy. Big fucking robot.
I'm sure as hell not changing for him.
I've decided that I'm sure that even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to.
It's just how I am, and changing it would be changing my entire personality.
So, yeah, well, fuck him.
I'm still talking to him.
Kind of just seeing what happens.
We aren't completely over, but still not dating?
I think the beginning
of the sentence, the part where she said, fuck him,
is not very committal,
given the rest of the things she said after that.
I don't know. It's complicated.
Yeah, it is complicated.
But yeah,
thanks for the replies. It helps to have people yeah, thanks for the replies.
It helps to have people to know what it's like.
Just to let you all know,
we broke up completely for good forever.
Smiley face.
What's the time span between those two comments? It is a smiley face, too.
She wrote that a day after
her previous reply.
Yeah, it'll work out. It'll be cool. She wrote that in day after her previous reply. Yeah, it'll work out.
It'll be cool.
She wrote that in the morning, actually.
4.41 in the morning.
So there was about a seven-hour difference between the two.
So this one is also from the same poster.
But then, I don't know, do we want to switch up responses?
Do we want to keep the same two?
Let's just keep it going.
I can do that. I'm okay with that.
Or did someone else want to read?
If it's the old man, though,
I get dibs.
Okay, yeah, naturally.
Okay, yeah, so this is the same girl
from the previous conversation.
Is this the same boyfriend,
do you think?
I'm looking at the dates right
now, trying to match them up.
Well, the one we read previously
was from, what, February
of this year, and this one is from earlier
than that. So probably the same boyfriend.
This is the precursor to that. This is a prequel.
My boyfriend
mentioned to me some things he wanted to do that
turned him on, and I was just wondering if people seriously do this kind of stuff.
I feel extremely awkward asking, but basically he wants to do things involving peeing on me,
and or taking a dump on me?
Or vice versa.
Do people really do that? Because honestly, I find it disgusting, Or vice versa.
Do people really do that?
Because honestly, I find it disgusting.
And I don't want to do it, but I don't want him to end up getting bored with me a few years down the road.
And leaving me because I won't do it.
He also wants to have anal sex, which he told me when we first started dating, that he'd never do that.
I don't want to do that either, really, but I'll take that over the alternative.
Very clever on his part.
Exactly.
Make anal sex.
Can I have anal sex with you?
Okay, can I poop on you?
No.
All right, can I have anal sex with you then?
Wow.
Please, any advice would be amazing right now.
Any advice would be amazing, no matter what the advice is.
Probably not good advice.
People actually do that.
I've never done it or been asked to do it. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, then don't.
I know I would never do anything involving urine or poop, LOL.
Maybe you can find a compromise.
You know, halfway.
If he loves you, he will understand.
Talk to him about it because communication is very important.
Good luck.
Yes, that's
wired, lol.
Well, personally, I couldn't do it.
It doesn't seem clean
to me. But then again, is
sex ever clean? Yeah,
for the sanity of myself,
I wouldn't do it.
Ooh, Sudden, definitely
ask him when did
he start liking this and why
does he like it?
It seems pretty wired to me
but hey, a lot of people do it
or have done it.
Sudden definitely
definitely get some
answers from
Earth.
Yes.
It doesn't matter what other people do.
If you don't feel good about it, don't do it.
It's not worth it.
If he loves slash respects you, he'll accept that.
If he doesn't accept it, then he doesn't respect or love you.
To be honest, I find that kind of odd, but whatever whatever if you aren't into it don't do it sex should be enjoyable for both people don't do something you have no interest in at all
or if he needs his behaviors to stay interested in sex notice i did not say you then he has what
is called a paraphilia this means he believes he needs a particular behavior or item to be sexually
satisfied. Most of these kinds of things and interests stem from fairly deep childhood
issues in the family of origin and are not usually altered or ended, meaning they usually
only get more intense as time goes on. In many cases, the original paraphilia becomes
the complete central focus of the individual's sexuality
and may then extend out to ever more intense and strange sexual behaviors.
If the individual wants to after their sexual focus, it takes a fairly intensive long-term therapy.
Just a note, urine is completely sterile, super clean, coming out of your body.
But freeze has distinct bacterial and viral dangers.
Thanks, Professor.
Thanks, Tom Brokaw.
I would listen to an entire episode of Just Muppet, Dr. Phil.
Urinating or exuding fecal matter on your partner is a symbol of dominance.
Does he treat you like a dog?
Because he's sure acting like one.
Well, I'm definitely not going to do any of that.
I find it completely disgusting.
It might turn him on, but it turns me completely off.
He said that he's perfectly happy with what we have now,
but eventually it will start to get boring,
which I'm willing to do other things.
Just not anything involving crap and or urine.
Ha ha.
But thanks, everyone, for the advice.
I was just wondering how anyone could possibly be turned on by such things. Ha ha. But thanks everyone for the advice. I was just wondering how anyone could possibly be turned on
by such things. Ha.
But he's not a dog and he doesn't treat me like
one. He's just very strange.
My friends get a real
kick out of hearing my stories about him.
Ha ha ha.
Ha.
But again, thank you
all. Smiley face.
If any guy expects his girl to do that for him that fact
alone obviously means that he's
selfish and only cares about his own
pleasure and obviously isn't a good
boyfriend at all but hey that's
just me oh yeah I also
googled the divorce rate in the states
and apparently it's pretty high.
Wait, what?
What?
He's a gentleman
and a scholar, that guy is.
He knows how to use
their Google thing.
The first part is awful
and no, you shouldn't do that.
No girl should have that done to them.
But the anal part is a little bit more understandable.
These are all sock puppets from the boyfriend.
But I would still recommend not doing it.
My boyfriend said he'd wanted to try it, and I really didn't want to,
but then we went to a party, and I got
drunk, and we ended up
spending the night at my best friend's house,
and it happened, and it was probably
one of the most painful feelings of my life.
It was not fun at all,
and it hurt really
bad to do very necessary
bodily functions.
So just tell him no because it will hurt.
A lot, a lot.
There is actually
some very small evidence
that Adolf Hitler was in a similar
fetishist, at least according to
this Google.
Let's just say
that Google did the first thing.
You just gotta do that guy.
You think Godwin would show up in a debate about
aprophilia?
That's awesome.
I've done it.
There are actually worse things
that I have unintentionally seen.
Ah!
There are actually worse things
that I have unintentionally seen
due to the video file name
being labeled as something
completely different when it was
downloaded.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Really.
Really.
Alibi? Perfect.
Nobody will ever know.
However, you're a partner.
You have 50%
control over this.
Even if he wants to,
if you find no pleasure in it,
you have all the rights in the world to simply say,
I'm sorry, but I don't
enjoy it.
You should both enjoy whatever it is you're doing
rather than have it one-sided.
I personally think that your boyfriend
has an enormous amount of nerve
to ask his girlfriend if he can take a shit on her.
But hey, maybe I'm just crazy.
I mean, that's the one thing I like about him.
If it's something that... We're going to need another take.
He's a charmer!
If it was something he wanted, at least he has guts to ask.
But I know I can say no, I already did.
I'm not worried about it.
I just thought it was completely strange and couldn't stand the thought that anyone could possibly enjoy something so disgusting.
Oh, thank you, HiMaryJane.
That was fantastic.
That one's just especially amazing
coming off the previous comment.
Alright, do you want to move on to the obesity forum?
Yes.
Excellent.
I feel like no one stopped crying.
My goal now is to find a scale
I can use at home
to see if I'm losing weight
the nearest one is in the mall.
You have to walk half the length of the mall to get to it.
And with my walking with pain, that is kind of hard.
Somehow most manufacturers only hit folks overweight of 300 and under pounds.
Wish me luck.
I have no appetite.
I have a lot of pressure on my chest lately, doctor says.
I am too big to have the possible blockage in my heart test,
but it seems they do not make equipment for people over 300 pounds,
so you lose weight or die.
I guess thanks again, medical community.
I'm beginning to feel the same about them as I do car salesmen and lawyers.
Nothing personal, but I had car salesmen and lawyers. Nothing personal.
But I had some bad experiences with them.
I think I may be losing weight.
But need not scale.
I hope all of you had a better day.
I feel like having a good cry nonstop that I am sure I will shake it off and go again.
Be blessed all.
That was all caps, no punctuation.
That was like Richard Nixon.
Ever feel like having a non-stop cry?
Oh, hell yeah.
You just go ahead and knock yourself out, D,
and cry your little heart out.
Little?
Just like Shrek said, better to let it out than keep it in. Knock yourself out, D, and cry your little heart out. Little?
Just like Shrek said, better to let it out than keep it in.
Of course, he wasn't talking about crying, but hey, it works for that, too.
Nosy face.
You probably don't have much of an appetite due to stress, but everyone knows,
in order to get your metabolism working the way it's supposed to to lose weight
you have to eat
I know I'm not telling you anything
you don't already know
but the good news is
you don't have much of an appetite
I wouldn't imagine you would be
crazed binging while you're trying
to make healthy decisions about what to eat
laughter laughter I am wishing you the best be crazed binging while you're trying to make healthy decisions about what to eat?
I am wishing you the best and thinking of you, friend.
Hugs and namaste.
Catherine E.
The E is optional.
Silent E.
So I don't know about anybody else, but I look to Shrek for my personal guidance.
Oh, all the time.
All the time.
I look to Shrek as my savior.
You're up, Jack.
Oh, I'm reading?
Yep.
Oops.
M. Kathy.
The Rose.
All right.
It's okay to cry, honey. We've all been there in one way or another maybe you can find a home scale through some sort of online or mail order specialty or medical
supply i'm sure there's some place that sells them i've got a catalog once that specialized
in things like seatbelt extensions for airlines. What?
What?
Wow.
Plus-size lawn chairs, et cetera.
These things are out there, but they aren't easy to track down.
Try a Google search and see what turns up.
Good luck.
Wow.
That's great you're starting to exercise.
I can't lose a pound without exercise.
I am too insulin resistant.
Moving makes me a little more sensitive to insulin.
I am not sure a scale always makes things easier.
I see too many people base their motivation and happiness on what the scale says.
The scale often lies.
At my top speeding, we have lots of people that only get weighed once a week.
Home scales cannot weigh them.
Sometimes once a week is still too often for some that are doing everything right
later the weight loss truth comes out have you read why the scale lies
go go on paul
paul chemtrails i hate doctors too but did find one good one. It is hard to believe
there is a good one that listens
out there. Eat
one half to two ounces of raw nuts a day.
Adding just a handful of
pecans to your diet each day may
inhibit unwanted
oxidation of blood lipids,
thus helping prevent coronary heart
disease. Pecan are one
of the top antioxidants food you can eat.
It is also good for weight loss.
Read www.ilovepecans.org.
There is some good information in these recipes on tree nuts also.
See www.nuthalth.org.
Let me just say, I went to that website expecting something completely different.
Yeah.
Hey, I just want to let you know
livingxl.com has scales that go up to
550 pounds. They run about
$70. They have one that goes up
to 1,000 pounds, I think. Hope that helps.
What is this
bullshit scale that only goes up to
550?
Where is the scale for a woman of size?
I think I've seen those scales on the highways.
And once you've actually shed pounds, you can use it to weigh your car.
It's so hard to lose weight and have low blood sugar and panic slash anxiety and going through paramendopause on top of it.
I'm so depressed and
feel like there's just no light at the
end of the tunnel. Seems like I
can starve to death and still not lose.
Sorry for venting, but I
just hating myself right now.
Is anyone in Kentucky that
maybe we can get together over the phone
or any other ways? Maybe like
secret pals or email help?
I live three miles from Fort Knox. My email
is Crosado8 at Yahoo.com.
Thanks.
Thanks so much for
your input.
Wait.
There's one follow-up.
The responses aren't that terrific,
but Isfahan, just read the top one on that one.
Got my scale.
Oh, wait, watch this one.
Not too happy to look at the number.
Just going to take this one day at a time.
Not going to starve myself.
Going to do what I can with my bad knee.
Wish me luck.
Good luck!
I like how he gets a scale
and then he, like, doesn't use it.
He's like, well, now that I finally
figured out how to get a scale, I'm not gonna
use it because I might get it.
I don't know. I don't get that.
He just went,
oh my god, I'm huge!
I just love that one woman
with the scale conspiracy there.
She's standing on the scale in her bathroom
like, You lie!
The scale!
You're lying!
It's all lies!
The mirror lies!
Cut trails!
I don't need a support system and i believe that's all the forum posts that uh that we're going to bring to you today
um we're going to have the links uh some select links up on the website um if you want to go
you know if you want to spend, you know, if you want
to spend your time, you're sure to find
more magic. Hey, John, what did you learn this week?
Oh, oh, so many
things.
Wow, I learned that
that one site has
so much material that we had other things lined
up, and we just kept running
with that site. Like, we couldn't
get enough of daily what
was it daily strength uh yes daily strength daily strength oh man uh i just you know what i've
learned as well is that i thought with the new web tour point oh and more people getting on
you know it's just nice to see this little pocket of internet creepiness still preserved
you know the 46 year old men and the teen sexuality column and the girls coming out.
It's like, I love barbecue sauce on dicks. You read it and you just want to
wash your hands afterwards. That's the way the internet should be.
Exactly. It's got to be as awful as possible for the
amusement of the jaded.
I've learned that site is very versatile. It can be
a support group. It can be a place just to
complain. You can be creepy
about sex with other creepy sex people
without even really doing any support.
You know? So that's
all the reading
that we have. Our thanks to all
our readers. A fantastic job.
A whole host of them. We had a legion there.
They all did an awesome job.
Oh, including Squiddy McConway, who didn't
introduce herself in our little segment.
Boots Reingear
will be editing this piece.
And please
visit us on the website. That's
thefpl.us
I got stupid
little Google stuff that I just put up the other day.
So that's fun.
Stupid little Google stuff. Yeah just put up the other day. So that's fun. Stupid little Google stuff.
Yeah, it's a fun thing.
And yeah, we'll see you next week.
Thanks for listening. Bye-bye....
...
...
...
...
...
...... What I need is a dedication to last me all the way through.
Pointing the finger, I'm counting on loving you over and above the passion.
I'm connected date you.
I love to talk dirty and to be talked dirty too.
I love to flirt and tease.
I get freaky and hardcore or sweet and tender depending on my mood.
I like to be bang sometimes.
I like to get a little smack on the ass with my partner's bare hand.
I'm not into extreme whips and
trains and humiliation.
I can get with a little handcuffs or do the
silk tie thing. I like
edible fun, like whipped cream
or chocolate syrup.
I love haunted dust.
Tantric sex. Girl on girl.
Girl on guy.
And two girls, one guy.
Come on down to Porn Warehouse.
I like the traditional ride.
The reverse ride. The roast duck.
Doggy style. 69.
Spread eagle. The spoon.
The finger tongue twister combo.
Cockrake.
I like games. costumes, and things.
A little produce at times.
I like some triple X videos.
I like sexy outfits and sexy shoes, of course.
Candy, perfume, candles.
I like to try new things and to have fun.
I also like to have sex in different places.
I'm a huge fantasy girl.
An oral is my first love.
I think I have even invented a few positions myself.
Well, that's all that I can think of right now.
Leave a message if you want a pizza roll.
Just listing all those things.
Oh, my God.
Earn all sex.
What was that one? I've read that one again A finger tongue twister combo
A finger tongue twister combo
The roast duck
The farm guy
There's one just called the spoon
I find that kind of ominous
No it's actually a spoon
Yeah we need to compile
a list of all the sexual
positions we know and just have him read it in that
voice.
The reverse cowgirl.
The dirty Sanchos.
The angry dragon.
Supermanning
that hole.