The F Plus - 404: I Got Sick From Raw Meat!???
Episode Date: May 8, 2024At some point in the 1970s, an American named John Swigart changed his name to Aajonus Vonderplanitz, insisted he had a PhD, and started writing books insisting that people should eat raw meat ex...clusively. Then he died. Later, a group of redditors started r/rawprimal, where the #1 rule is "You cannot give advice that Aajonus didn't already give first." The result is what is very possibly the dumbest group of motherfuckers we've ever covered on this show. This episode, The F Plus observes The Moldy Berry Protocol.
Transcript
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uh everything okay you doing you doing all right you yeah yeah i got a good life i got a post here
it's raw meat should i be worried yeah it's unhealthy i ate raw i ate raw meat for the
second time yesterday i ate a few small cut pieces and i felt fine but there was a feeling
where i want to shit but i can. I guess I got constipated.
Welcome to the F-Blossom Podcast.
A gruesome place with terrible things read with enthusiasm and in the room
tonight we have boots rain gear i would guess that blood has some value as a ready-made life
force there'd be no need to convert it into anything drink fresh blood and it becomes your
own blood possibly young blood would have a youth restoring effect but you would need a healthy source bunny bread drink
fresh blood and it becomes oh fuck damn it oh shit jack chick i have been experiencing white
stools and 100 have them when i drink raw milk am i not releasing enough bile kendrick labstar
i used to get good energy from raw chicken if I wasn't eating it very often. Like, I developed a tolerance if I had it for two or three days straight.
Also, I slunk four eggs in the afternoon and get great energy, but they digest too quickly in only 23 minutes.
And lemon.
Do you think babies or anybody else throughout history has died if no one was there to burp them?
Has anyone died?
Ever. Ever.
Hey, F+. What's up? Oh, hi, Leonard. Hey, F+. What's up?
Hi, Leonard.
Hey, Leonard.
Hey.
Is everyone feeling on the ball?
Is everyone feeling like their lives are perfectly in control
and they know exactly where they're going to go?
This is exactly where I wanted to be at this point in time in my life, yes.
Yeah.
Was this in your dream journal, Bunnybread?
Not only my dream journal, but it was on my cork board that I had up there, the various
pictures that I posted.
What else was on your cork board?
Well, like Bart Simpson saying, fuck you.
And that was pretty much it.
Oh, you mean the riffraff tattoo?
Oh, no.
That's, yeah.
I mean, I got a tattoo of riffraff saying, fuck you to Bart Simpson. And that was pretty much it. Oh, you mean the riffraff tattoo? Oh, no. I mean, I got a tattoo of riffraff saying,
fuck you to Bart Simpson.
Oh, wow.
That's fucking meta.
That's like an Escher drawing.
Yeah, I know.
It kept going.
It was the inception of tattoos, really.
Trying to one-up the black Bart Simpson from Desert Storm t-shirt.
Well, yeah, that one.
I don't dabble with the white Bart Simpson.
I'm very curious to see how this pivot is going to go.
I don't keep this in my dream journal.
I keep this in my mind.
We're just going to talk about our dream journals.
Fair enough.
Yeah, I don't...
Why would you need a segue
from Bunny Bread talking about
Riff Raff's tattoos
to this document,
which was given to us by
Salubrious Rex, which is
entitled, Put Meat in Jars
Until It Rots, Then Eat It to Get
High Off of It and Don't Shower.
As usual, hell yeah,
brother.
Yeah, silly me for thinking that
you were going somewhere with that.
Have we ever?
We always do such a good job of
really setting up a cohesive intro.
The connection was
just there, so it didn't really need to work.
It's reasonable.
For now, we're going to be going to
r slash raw
primal.
This is a
site, or a
subreddit, and I'll just describe here in the sidebar.
There's a bunch of very masculine-looking men, sort of photoshopped poorly.
And it says, about community.
The Primal Diet by Aeongius Von Der Planets.
Von Der Planets? Okay.
The recipe for living disease-free with clarity, strength, and energy based on raw meat, raw seafood, raw milk, raw eggs, unheated honey,
which, okay, and juice.
I fry my honey all day.
He's dead, so let's see why he died.
Okay.
So not a lot of fiber in that diet.
Raw honey?
You ever heard of it?
Yeah, one of the
current hot posts
on r slash raw primal right now
is one inch of penile growth
in 4.5 months with primal diet
at 18.
Fuck yeah!
So we have an intro here. in 4.5 months with primal diet at 18. Fuck yeah! Live that dream!
So,
we have an intro here.
The people of
r slash raw primal
follow the teachings of the late
Aeongius von der Planets, who has written multiple
books, in particular one
titled We Want to Live,
on the idea that you should only eat
the freshest foods which are uncooked, unprocessed,
uneverything a reasonable
person would want to do to food to make it edible
and which has never been
frozen to boot. They believe this
will cure them of all disease, grant them strength
and mental clarity, and change the color
of their eyes and hair.
Oh, it's the spice
or whatever. To gray because they're
dead? Yeah, spice melange.
Melange.
We did the meat-only diet episode.
Yeah, and we were like, this seems too tame.
Yeah, that was dire.
I am so frightened about that.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, there's only three rules, Boots.
There's only three rules.
Number one, no vegans unless you're open-minded.
Okay.
What? Yeah. Yeah. He said what he said, Boots. There's only three rules. Number one, no vegans unless you're open-minded. Okay. What?
Yeah.
He said what he said, Boots.
Why is that difficult to understand? No vegans unless you're open-minded. No vegans unless you
are not a vegan.
Is that a
trepanation reference? Boy, we're really gonna have
to go slow, huh?
Advice only paraphrased
or quoted by Aeon just that can be found in the books or audio files. Wait, what? Advice only paraphrased or quoted by Aeongus that can be found in
the books or audio files. Wait, what?
What? No advice.
Oh, no advice from people other
than Aeongus. Oh, what?
You can't! You can't
give advice that
Aeongus' wonder planets didn't make.
Yeah, no, that's reasonable.
Okay.
He's the only one.
And so you're saying that Aeons
is... But also he's dead, right?
Yeah!
Yeah, unrelated.
He fell off his second story
balcony, so it wasn't the food.
No, it was...
God couldn't wait for its latest angel.
That's the...
Okay, no stupid
questions. That's number three.
Okay, good.
Got it.
And then there's some allies of the
subreddit, like r slash raw meat,
r slash raw milk,
r slash raw eggs,
r slash sugar-free,
r slash stop eating fiber.
Stop it, damn it.
Whoa.
They mean cardboard r slash nofap and r slash no poo
we got an f plus trifecta here
yeah they did it
uh
r slash conspiracy commons
r slash stop smoking
r slash stop smoking
and r slash stop gaming
r slash xp games they're really trying to Stop smoking. R slash stop smoking and R slash stop gaming. R slash XP games.
They're really trying to just get rid of all of their potential customers here, aren't they?
Like, stop gaming.
So, yeah.
So, I think we're going to start here, Boots.
We're going to start here with a fellow that needs some advice.
I need some advice.
Yeah?
Okay.
I need some advice.
My name is you slash
paroxy.
I posted this two months ago
ish. I've been
eating raw chicken for the last
Yeah, what's the problem?
Wow.
This is first gear, gentlemen.
Starting strong.
This is where we're starting.
Yeah.
That's the problem.
It's just...
Yeah, we've got our training wheels on.
We're fine.
Whoa.
Okay.
All right.
I've been eating raw chicken for the last few days.
My stomach hurts.
What?
What should I do?
More ab work.
Any advice would be helpful.
Thanks for responding.
Kendrick, what do you got there?
I'm C star zero.
Depending on the processing of the chicken,
it could be soaked in some solution
or soap like liquid,
which may contribute to that problem.
Some soap like liquid.
Boots, which one do you got?
Yeah.
A chicken I ate was from
ones I raised and killed
I just got rid of the feathers
and ate it
Did they shower before?
That's your problem, you should have eaten the feathers
Yeah, eat the feathers, dumbass
Jack Chick's a doctor
That's true, I am
What are you, like an interplay RPG character?
I looked it in the eyes until it died.
I played RuneScape.
I think this is how it works.
I just cussed at it until it dropped dead.
That's absolutely RuneScape.
And then you would have two things in your inventory, chicken feathers.
It's the idea that this guy
probably lives in the suburbs,
just going out and grabbed a chicken.
Just pulled some feathers off and was like,
yeah, fucking, that's probably enough.
Why am I sick?
What happened?
Guys, we can't. We started too strong. All right, all right. That's fine, that's fine, we can't.
We started too strong.
Alright, alright.
That's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine.
Okay, that was a little crazy.
That was a little crazy.
Dial it back, come on now.
It's all uphill from here.
Let's dial it back.
Jack Chick, can you read me the thread titled
Raw Pig's Blood?
Absolutely.
I'm mainsinger4952.
That was just two years ago.
Cool, cool, cool.
Hi.
Hi.
I bought raw pig's blood from the butcher, but every time I drink it, I get a slight headache.
Is this detox or too many toxins in the blood?
Anybody has experience
with blood and how it affected them?
Did you get headaches from totally
organic, grass-fed blood?
Thank you, HexoX.
So you kept
doing this. You kept
putting this in your
shake bottle.
Yeah.
That's like his Jamba Juice boost there,
the raw pig's blood.
What do they do to prevent the blood from coagulating?
Because mine is not coagulating.
Oh, that's unfortunate.
Oh, yeah.
You got some bum pig's blood, buddy.
Yeah, can I...
Let me explain.
They take it out of the pig.
Oh!
I just shoved a big straw into the pig.
Here's the problem. You got to go out in the yard and get a fresh pig. Oh! I just shoved a big straw into the pig. Here's the problem.
You've got to go out in the yard
and get a fresh pig.
Yeah, okay,
so I'm not supposed to be drinking the pig,
the blood straight from the pig.
That's wrong, evidently.
Okay, well, now we know.
All right, next time.
Yeah, my name's...
I have an answer for you here,
main singer. I'd stay away from you here, uh, uh, main singer.
Um, I'd stay away from swine as per the Torah.
It is probably toxic.
I've never tried blood, but shouldn't it feel nourishing like the other foods?
This sounds the opposite.
Cool story!
I picked up a nice tape word for raw pork.
I now stick, I now stick to the Hebrew side of my table.
Oh, good.
I never eat a cheeseburger.
Yep.
Yeah, so I have a reply.
What were your symptoms from the tapeworm?
Well, it attaches to your stomach lining, so discovered through fitness.
Basically, would be able to feel it
when stomach was stressed from working out.
Oh, come on.
Deworming pill dislodged it, and another one
flushed it out.
Wait, wait, wait.
And another one down, and another one down,
and another one flushed it out.
Wait a minute.
Imagine some pharmacist was like,
no man, I can't get you pig dewormer.
I don't know why pig dewormer.
I don't know why you keep coming here.
I mean, some kind of dewormer.
Two years ago.
So 2021 ish.
Unrelated.
Unrelated.
You get a question?
Yeah.
And then I respond with, wow wow did it hurt at all I'm just curious
because I
Jonas said that they are beneficial
and there was a removed
there was a removed post
comment removed by the moderator
oh that's the ghost of a Jonas
but then Bunnybread
anti what I don't know anti something the ghost of a Jonas. Yeah. But then, uh, bunny bread. Yeah. Uh, anti,
what?
I don't know.
Anti something.
Antino,
anti,
okay,
anti neoplastin.
Yeah.
Uh,
excuse me,
gentlemen,
I'm a trained professional.
You shouldn't believe
everything he says,
but as a fundamental
tenet that all bacteria slash parasites slash fungi slash viruses are beneficial.
All of them.
The only time they are harmful is when they mutate when you do something like just try to sear the edges of meat.
That's the problem.
I'm not a scientist, but...
Okay, okay.
So all parasites are beneficial.
Right.
Yes.
All fungi are beneficial.
All bacteria.
All viruses are beneficial.
All viruses.
So the whole reason that COVID was a problem
was that we cooked the COVID before...
We seared the bats.
Yeah, you're searing your problem.
We seared those bats.
So he's eaten all kinds of raw.
All these motherfuckers having a fever and cooking their COVID?
Idiots.
Dumb fucks.
I think the fever is what's making him say this.
Like, yeah, that's probably right.
Why is it so hot in here?
He's eaten all kinds of raw slash rotten food and never had a bad experience.
Like he says, if bacteria slash parasites are bad,
he'd have died a long time before he actually did.
What?
Fuck, come on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Assuming he didn't fake his death like Tupac.
All right.
That's reasonable.
Listen, nobody's ever drowned.
I drank a glass of water once, and I'm fine.
See?
I took a glass of water once, and I'm fine. See? I took a bath.
Drowning's not possible.
Okay.
So fucking stupid,
Boots. Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, my name's WearyFilm2364.
Okay.
And I got a problem here.
Eating snakes. Fuck, come on, Okay. And I got a problem here. Yeah. Eating snakes.
Fuck, come on, man.
I was not a problem.
There's a lot of Christian cults that are devoted to this.
Listen here.
What?
Earlier today when I was collecting eggs from my chicken coop,
there was a small snake, Copperhead.
It was only a few inches long
So I stepped on it and killed it
I picked it up
Brought it back inside with me
Rinsed it off of my sink
And I ate the whole thing along with my lunch
Two fresh raw eggs
I just swallowed it
I just swallowed it like a noodle
What?
After about an hour I started started feeling extremely sick and dizzy.
Really?
Jesus Christ.
From eating a venomous...
And then I fainted?
There's so many question marks.
It's so urgent.
Okay.
Well, wait.
No, no.
You're just repairing your YouTube thumbnail right there.
Eat snakes and fainted?
What? Eat snakes and faint? What?
Eat snakes and faint? My wife, who is raw primal as well,
immediately got me some goat blood from the fridge
to replenish my strength.
There you go.
Your wife is raw primal.
This is definitely a thing that women would do, for sure.
This is... Oh, that women would do, for sure. This is...
Oh shit, you passed out.
This calls for some emergency goat blood.
That's a jack chick thing to say.
My primal wife became unshackled and got me the goat's blood from the fridge.
We'll deal with the unshackled problem later.
Bring the goat's blood!
To replenish my strength.
She's going through the fridge like,
looking through different bloods.
She's like, wait a minute. It's been about five
hours, and I still feel very
sick and dizzy. What?
I have an awful pain in my stomach and chest.
But I haven't passed out anymore.
Oh, okay.
Any suggestions on what I can do to help?
More goat's blood?
I've been drinking the blood and eggs every few hours.
Thanks, buddy, for the advice.
What the fuck?
I can't keep anything down.
What?
I was vaccinated for you-know-what 19 last year.
Wow.
Could this be the snake detoxifying my body from the altered damage?
That's must be what it is.
Go ahead and Google how poisonous is Copperhead snake.
Oh, it's called severe.
Now, how poisonous
is the COVID-19 vaccine, though?
Normally we talk about
how venomous a snake is
and I'm like, well, actually
it's not poisonous, it's venomous.
But this time, you know. Yeah, I know, he poisoned himself.
He poisoned himself with a snake.
You know,
I think to those people that haven't met Boots in person,
when you meet him, you go like,
you're the kind of guy that says snakes aren't poisonous, they're venomous, aren't you?
Actually, they're not poisonous, Gary.
That's correct.
I heard snake meat is a very powerful healing meat.
And that's why it was used in ancient medicinal imagery.
It was used in the imagery, was it?
Okay.
A healing meat.
We skipped over the fact that he swallowed the snake whole.
It was a powerful healing meat.
It's used in the imagery.
I love that.
Hold on.
Let me change my name in Discord.
I ate a lot of crosses, too.
While you're changing your name, too. While you're changing
your name, Bunnybread, you're going to be
Nesambrade.
Yeah, yeah, Nesnambrade.
Your weary film.
I just want to, before you say your thing,
I had
this problem as well. I fixed
this when my significant other decided to hand
me some raw eggs to eat.
Here, take these!
Mind you, they might have been
outside on our porch during the entirety
of the summer. Gross!
How? How is that possible?
How much shit is on your porch?
Yeah, you didn't even notice a bunch of eggs?
These are my summer eggs or these are my
winter eggs?
Yeah.
This worked wonders for me.
I firmly believe that this is a super cure.
A super cure.
You know, that's all fine.
But as, I don't know, what the hell Nazna Brate needs to bring to the table?
Try eating cheese!
What kind?
Raw and unsalted!
Did you even read
any fucking books by A. Jonas?
Do you even lift, bro?
Damn!
Just sour some milk
and slosh that shit in your mouth.
Yeah! Damn!
This is a really good cult, man.
This is a really, really good cult.
I love this cult.
I'm in on this.
Who's with me?
Let's go.
Here, I'm just going to read the response to Bitcoin News 2447.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, Bitcoin News 2447.
Awesome name.
Bitcoin News 2447.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
2447.
Posts a long thing, but he does say in the middle of it.
You get the context of my response.
Yeah, he does say in the middle of it,
a raw cheese train might help pull out any toxins.
Cheese train?
A raw cheese train?
Run a raw cheese train on that ass.
That'll pull out your toxins.
Thanks there, Bitcoin News 2447.
Yes, I ate the head too.
If the snake meat can't help,
do you know how I can get the bad mRNA out of my body?
What the fuck? Wait, wait, wait. Do you know how I can get the bad mRNA out of my body? Get it out of my body!
What the fuck?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
It's just not the mRNA.
I mean, come on.
Come on.
Hey, hey, hey, you double helix.
Leave room for Jesus.
I got to get the mRNA, the LMN RNA, the ZRMNA.
Get the bad mRNA out of my body and also the
graphene and microplastics.
Yeah, and the graphene and microplastics.
What can I do?
I mean, ultimately, right, that's
the primary thing, like, when you go to the hospital,
right, and they're like, oh, yeah, you got
a bad cold here. Here, eat this entire
snake whole.
A whole snake, activated clay, and some
more cheese. Yes, yes.
No, I just need an egg
that's been cooking
on the porch all summer.
Not cooking, absorbing
wonderful
vibes.
Detoxing. It was an ancient
imagery. I saw it on a cave wall.
Yeah.
Oh, cool. Hey,
what's going on?
Jack Chick, what's going on with
bulletistic?
Yeah.
Nauseous or feeling vomiting?
Feeling. Other people are
vomiting on you? Yeah, I'm feeling all the
vomit on me.
Hey!
Hey, guys!
Hi, primals!
I'm new to this diet two months now.
I heard from a Jonas on the internet when I was searching for healthy diet.
You did?
Because he's dead.
But I gotta admit,
this diet every week
causes me the feeling of now-serve vomiting.
Vomit nothing, just air coming out.
I know that's weird.
These two feelings one cannot
endure so much and cause him hating
everything. Although I got some
benefits from this diet. Mostly less
sleep and energy to do more twerk.
Oh my god.
Yo, what's the problem?
Well, I can't sleep because of all, you know,
the vomiting. All the energy,
yeah.
Yet I still get that two feelings periodically.
And, you know, in this new world where you have to work and productive all the time
and can't get a sick leave easily without being considered lazy
or your manager thinking about replacing you,
I think it affects any person heavily in the modern time.
I tried to do High Meat, airing it every two to three days,
and two weeks old now.
I almost instantly get nauseous.
One day, I got sick heavily and started to feel dizzy and sweaty.
I almost passed out.
I take cube-sized BTW.
Is this normal to the diet?
Are you guys experiencing the same thing?
Maybe I'm doing it wrong.
If you can point out to me my mistakes.
When you say, I take cube-sized, are we supposed to infer that you don't chew?
That you eat it like a goose?
Oh, I didn't even think he was chewing it at all.
I thought he was shoving it up his ass.
I take cube size.
Because why do all that digestion bullshit?
I know that I get my food freshly killed, not always grassed.
I don't eat organs when I know it is not feed grass.
I also get some fish and squid, sometime oysters.
I don't go to the gym, BTW.
I drink milk every day, one liter that is distributed throughout the day.
So you just eat high meat and feel crappy.
All right.
Yeah, hey, you know.
Have you tried higher meat?
Yeah. You got to leave it in the jar longer outside. Alright, yeah, hey, you know. Have you tried higher meat? Yeah, you gotta leave it in the jar longer
outside. Yeah, bro.
Have you considered, like, eggs that have
been left since the dawn of time?
I haven't, but you know,
maybe I should.
We're gonna
finish the last
post in this
section. This section is
called, I ate raw meat
and I got sick?
Anyway,
Kendrick,
what's going on with a
user by the name of A Becoming?
Not The Becoming, but you know, just A Becoming.
Hold on, because I
clicked the wrong person.
I'm a becoming.
Tiny orange crystals in urine
after beginning raw primal?
Oh.
That's called tang, baby.
I began raw primal
six days ago. It's patang when it's like that.
I've been eating a pound of raw beef heart
for lunch, and then a pound of raw beef heart for lunch
and then a pound of raw beef liver for dinner every day
in addition to raw unsalted butter, raw milk, and raw eggs
until satiety, society, till I'm not hungry no more.
Till we live in a society.
Don't judge me.
Bunny Bread, do you want to
open up a food truck
that's called
menace to society
I feel so much
better
and my digestion
is vastly improved
except for this
one symptom
oh
this morning
I found orange
little crystals
in my urine
and then again
after lunch
I sift through
my urine every day
as one does.
The area hurts a bit, too.
From an online search, it seems to be uric acid or mineral crystals.
I'm guessing from the liver.
Any advice on how to remedy this?
Certainly don't eat less liver.
I'd like to continue eating liver daily, as it makes me feel great.
Thanks.
You could probably eat the same food that I put my cat on when he had that problem.
What, was it liver?
Yeah, was your cat eating a pound of raw liver every day?
Yeah, what about the beef heart?
Yeah.
Captain Beef Heart.
Yeah, Captain Beef Heart.
Going to the next section here, Bunny Bread.
I'm looking at a post ten months ago from a user by the name of...
Okay.
Wow.
I almost did a Roxanne joke.
No.
No, do it.
Do it.
You've already...
No, I stopped myself.
No, no, no.
It's fine.
Cooler has prevailed.
I've made a lot of dog shit jokes in this podcast.
What's one more?
Yeah, you're right.
Roxannester. There you go. There you go. Roxannester more? Yeah, you're right. Rock Sanster!
There you go.
There you go.
Rock Sanster 97.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, what's going on?
Oh, yeah.
I need some urgent help!
Oh, shit!
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
Don't worry. We can definitely help you.
Okay, yeah, good.
Thanks.
R slash all shitting in various buckets.
I'm glad I skipped urgent care and came directly here.
All right.
Okay.
Hi, everyone.
I'm new to the diet.
I'm Roxanne.
I will be honest and say I don't follow through like 100%,
but I incorporate most of my foods raw due to not finding some stuff raw and temporary
financial limitations. All right, all right, all right, all right. I had what I would call a detox,
I believe. After eating with family this December slash January, some things cooked,
like sauces, you know, homemade for steaks and meats and some pasteurized dairy because I couldn't go to the farm.
I live with someone that doesn't do raw primal, so sometimes I eat still healthy and pay attention to the ingredients and their quality.
But I sometimes eat cooked.
Gasp.
What?
What?
I'm sorry.
Ban this sick filth.
I'm sorry.
I bet you have normal urine.
I'll see myself out.
I've had
diarrhea for the past week or so.
Okay.
Yeah, so I think it's gone
past one week already, actually.
At first I had a strong
question mark stomach.
I'm not sure which one is
my stomach. Pains
that went away after a day or two.
T-O-O.
It's sometimes watery, sometimes more solid, but still soft.
Always yellowish in color.
I'm one month old.
Do I experience a strong detox?
Yep.
Yep.
Okay.
Where are the stomach pains?
How many times does the word detox show up
no don't try that you're gonna overload your computer you're gonna die brave has crashed
what the fuck it's it's were the stomach pains a sign of
stomach issues or irritable bowel stuff you know who can say how more should it go on if only
yeah i try to nourish myself because i got quite dehydrated and dizzy. I definitely feel some
deficiencies I didn't experience.
I definitely feel some things I didn't
feel. But I don't
want to always be in a crisis
to be near a toilet and have
dehydration because of that.
The toilet sucks it out of me.
I manage to not feel too
weak because I've been drinking raw milk,
kefir, fruit, and veggie juices, too.
What do you recommend?
Oh, thanks for your help.
Bye.
Is kefir?
Kefir doesn't seem legal to me.
There's got to be cooking involved in kefir somewhere.
No, no.
They mean kefir Sutherland.
I was trying to make the same note as that.
You eat that stuff raw.
Just pure alcohol.
Hey, yo, my name's Deleted.
Yeah?
Sounds like you're overreacting.
Got him!
Thank God.
He literally can't move
three feet away from the toilet,
but he's overreacting.
I never get scared,
even when I'm going through crazy stuff.
Depends what exactly
is happening, but diarrhea eats
lots of homemade or Fraser cheese.
That makes a lot of sense.
Okay, baby, I hear the blues
are coming.
Fraser cheese.
They're coming again.
Marcy.
Sometimes when I throw up a bunch or have tons of diarrhea like you,
maybe I'm a little concerned about hydration,
but I never get truly scared.
Okay, so it's the fear, right?
I just have to find what I can digest.
Like, if I'm throwing up every 20 minutes,
then usually decarbonated sparkling water with lime and honey digest, all right?
Why have a decarbonator?
And prevents me from being dehydrated.
Wow.
Wait, wait.
Wow.
Decarbonated sparkling water.
What is the goddamn point of that?
Decarbonated sparkling water.
I take the water,
I put it in the soda stream,
and I wait for it to go flat again.
Yeah.
Just violently, like, stirring it to try and get all the bubbles out.
Yeah.
Come on!
I'm allergic to bubbles.
That's what gives me the shits.
I love that.
Nezumbrati's back in the reply, being like, you got to eat unsalted cheese again, over
and over.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, but does also recommend once again
Cheese trains
Yeah, you can also do cheese trains
Run that cheese train
Come on, write it
And cheese train
Can I get a decroy
It's time for the cheese train.
Decroy.
Yeah, my name's La Crudivore.
That's a good name.
Everything about this is stupid.
It is.
It is.
La Crudivore.
That's the flat La Crudivore.
I am one of Anne Rice's best characters.
Nothing about your detox seems urgent.
Diarrhea is just your body trying to get rid of poison quickly.
Right.
Oh.
Is that what it is?
I know what we'll do.
We'll shit harder Okay
The first thing you need
To get to do is to get on the diet
100% don't even
Bother doing anything else until you're
Committed like leaving the bathroom
Like spiritually
There is always a way
I am the only one Of my family that eats 100% raw.
If you can believe that.
If they have meat where you are living.
Okay.
Then just eat it raw.
No excuse.
Prioritize your health.
The Jedi of shitting to his Padawan.
Yeah.
Seriously.
God.
I'm shitting all the time.
Nah, you'll be fine.
Roxanne?
Okay, thank you. Hang on, I just had to
puke and shit simultaneously.
Well, you'll be doing that again.
It's not going to kill you, it's going to make you stronger.
Thank you, that's right.
Oh, I got the shivers again.
I understand that, but I also know if it goes more than a week, dehydration and deficiencies, because of that can occur.
I've been eating raw for like a year already.
So, you know, but it's first time having this.
So I didn't know exactly if it's long term or if it's serious or not.
If we're Facebook official.
Like, I just don't know.
This is part of my new life.
And, you know.
The credit boy is here to save you.
Okay.
Unless you are unable to drink and eat anything at all, it is not a problem.
Okay.
All right.
Because I can eat my own pride.
All right, great.
Salmonella is just part of the healing process.
Yeah, man.
But if you eat a cracker, then you're good.
And even then, the problem will most likely resolve itself with time.
Through death.
Okay.
Like all problems. Yeah.
Yeah. All of this
will be forgotten, so she'll hear it.
Alright, alright. Now Lemon was trying
to skip over this post because he doesn't
want you to hear it.
Oh, he doesn't want to smell the truth.
No, not the truth I was trying to support.
But I'm here as sad refrigerator
to expose Lemon and all his crimes.
Cut this part out! Cut this part out!
Edit! Edit!
Hey, I have a serious problem with going to the bathroom.
I'm doing the primal diet, eating high meat every day.
I am forced to do enemas to go to the bathroom,
but they don't even work that well,
and it takes multiple to get the stool out.
It takes multiple enemas?
Yep.
So just, you know.
Daily routine, wake up, give myself several enemas.
What you been using, bro?
Gasoline or what?
I mean, maybe some stuff.
I can't hang out today.
I gotta give myself 50 enemas.
Sorry, guys, I'm busy. Oh, man I got to give myself 50 M&M's.
Sorry, guys.
I'm busy.
Oh, man.
You want to just like see a doctor?
No, I got it.
I got it.
No, no, no, no.
I got a fire hose.
I don't need a doctor.
Oh, my God.
I'm at a loss
of words and knowledge.
I cannot figure this out.
I feel completely fine
every morning
before the enema
except I feel
extremely constipated.
Right, right, right.
My life is literally hell.
If anyone knows anything, please help me.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Eat raw meat official?
Yeah.
Oh, you're verified.
Eat raw meat official.
That's so good.
Yeah, Kendrick, what does eat raw meat official have to say?
Do suppositories of a mixture of raw cream, raw eggs, coconut cream, if you have it, and a little bit of raw honey.
If you're doing enemas, you're flushing out your bacteria, wrong-er, and creating a never-ending cycle.
So, you know, raw cream, raw eggs, and coconut cream.
After you've done enemas, stick more shit up your butt.
Hey, listen, it's official.
This is an authority, right?
Well, yeah, no, no, sad refrigerator.
You have an answer there, or you have a a response there i'd love if that worked i've tried many times but the suppositories don't
cause me to evacuate so that leads to me being disgustingly constipated then i have to go do
an enema or risk a hospital trip i'd love to never do an enema game but i cannot. Oh my god. Oh.
So, I noticed, Kendrick,
you found a Reddit post
here about what a cheese train
is, but it's
impossibly long. It is so long.
I mean, my god.
And when you try to, like, take
out what, like, you try to get
information out of it, you know, it's trying to get information out of a Reddit post.
So, you know.
Yeah.
But I just wanted to say that in this impossibly long thing, which is supposed to somehow explain what a cheese train is, but I still don't get it.
is, but I still don't get it.
The first response there
is by
Aeongius died
for our sins.
Good.
Who asks
so we should sip
water? How much? And then
deleted says, well, according to Aeongius, we shouldn't be drinking water at much and then delete and says well according to Aeongus
we shouldn't be drinking water at all
and that's vert important
oh my god
when has water ever helped humanity
like okay so like one of the people
that we've read at this point is probably a troll
but like which fucking one
how could you possibly tell this point is probably a troll, but which fucking one? How could you possibly tell?
I can never create
a troll as good as this.
It's just...
Hey, Lemon.
Can you take the first post on this one
for me? Yeah, sure.
Oh, good. Wow!
Whoa!
This is from three days ago.
Wow!
Wow! So they're still alive, maybe. Do you remember Whoa! This is from three days ago. Three days ago.
So they're still alive, maybe.
Do you remember
in our past
where somebody was eating raw chicken
and we were like, where the fuck will it go from here?
Here's where it's going.
Placenta!
Anyone have
experience with eating a placenta?
We had a home birth two weeks ago
Fuck
So
We got to keep the placenta
Yay
The midwife threw it in the freezer
You know what I was thinking, Jack Chick?
Yeah
I was thinking of just cutting chunks off and making smoothies
Right, right chick yeah i was thinking of just cutting chunks off and making smoothies right right
i don't know if i'm supposed to defrost it and clean it first clean why would you oh
bitch all right so i'm uh i'm eat raw meat official i'm one of the moderators of the subreddit
okay thank you thank you bring some sanity you don't need to clean it dummy but it's probably
not the best quality to eat unless the wife has been in a good diet most of her life and minimal exposures to toxins and no vaccines.
And no vaccines, of course.
It's also been frozen, so it's not as good as fresh of.
So long ago when I was in college, I took a class about family psychology.
Yeah.
The instructor spent an entire class period talking about the value of home birthing and midwives.
Yeah.
And encouraged all of us that when we had children that we should eat the placenta of the child along with the partner because it was a really valuable
bonding experience.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember
still being a teenager,
but having a
biology teacher
playing with a
pig fetus and complaining about his sex life.
And I was like, man, I know how you got here.
Like, I know how your life led to this, but, like, it's not my fault.
You don't have to lecture me about it.
Jack Chick, did your professor share, like, a personal placenta eating recipe
or anything like did you
he talked pretty extensively about it
oh but no actual recipe
okay so I get nothing
chunks
and smoothies
I like that boots your guy
was like you know make sure
that she has a good diet and I was like what the fuck
oh unvaccinated. Got it.
That's what that means.
FYI, we're still
in section one of this four section document.
No, that's true.
That's true. Now this section
is called
the section is called
These People Fucking Stink.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
All right. Yeah. All right.
Real quick, can I...
I know I'm off track here, but can I just read
a single sentence from
a Jonas's
Wikipedia page?
Sure, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Vonderplanets was born John Richard
Swygart in Denver, Colorado.
Oh.
Really? His real name isn't Wonderplanets?
Oh, man.
His name's not Wonderplanets.
See, I thought he was part of the Connecticut
Wonderplanets.
Yeah, right, right.
Yeah, that's stolen valor, man.
That family that ships live, right?
Would it surprise you that Robert Atkins
is the one who really helped him
become famous?
Oh, holy shit.
That would surprise me
quite a bit.
I like that
there's only like four kinds of scam artists.
Anyway, okay.
Okay, so
once again in the
these people fucking stink section.
Bunny Bread, you are... You're Elwood, lady.
I have a question for you.
What's that?
What's it do about lice?
Oh.
Nothing, nothing.
They're gorgeous.
I've caught lice from someone in my family.
Obviously, I'm not going to use the chemicals they tell you to use.
What would be a good alternative?
And more importantly, and, and, did Aeongius ever talk about lice?
New rule for this episode.
We have to just call him John now.
No, no, no, no.
I will never do that.
Okay.
I'm going to call him.
He's going to have a different name every time. Aejon. Yeah. No, Aejon. He would never do that. Okay. He's A. John. He's going to have a different name every time.
A. John.
Yeah, no, A. John.
He's A. John.
Us.
A. John in us.
A. John in us.
I am Alcoholics Anonymous Orange Julius.
Okay.
Lice!
There are several ways of dealing with these little creatures.
It is difficult to ascertain which will work for whom.
Use your instincts and intuition.
Vigorously oiling the body, especially the hairy areas,
with a mixture of one tablespoon raw apple cider vinegar.
Apple cider vinegar, ding!
Of course.
With four tablespoons unheated above below 96 degrees Fahrenheit
fermented coconut oil or stone pressed
olive oil or cold pressed below 96 fahrenheit flax oil and leave it on thickly for several hours
and then wiping excess without washing without washing and leaving it on for 24 fucking hours.
Smothers lice and
retards the eggs from hatching.
Close.
Okay, so oil,
bacteria, and
heat. Yeah, that's three
things that insects would hate. They do,
absolutely. When we ask
insects, you know, what
really gets your grind into your gears?
A warm, oily place full of bacteria.
Damn.
That's why we never find bugs on dead bodies or anything.
Yeah, yeah.
As a louse, I know I hate it.
Clothes and bed sheets might get stained.
I want to warn you here.
This is a caveat.
Clothes and bed sheets might get stained.
After 24 hours slice the meat
slicing the oily part
of the rind of lime
eliminating the white pulp
and juicing or blending
the rind
with the meat of the lime
and then rubbing
the oily lime juice
over the entire
fucking body
vigorously
over hairy areas
yeah
removes lice and eggs
shove a lime
into your hoo-ha.
Are we making larb right now?
Let's see how many times we said lime so far.
Lime.
Please read the next sentence.
In case the oil and lime don't work,
simply applying urine three times daily without washing at all
for 24 hours. Without washing at all. For 24 hours,
without washing at all, folks,
for 24 hours,
gets rid of lice and eggs easily.
Five stars.
I love this recipe.
I didn't have any lice. Can I get a little,
just a helpful piece of advice in parenthetical here?
The odor can be endured.
All right, there's the episode title right there.
Boy,
what are the chances that I've been on two episodes
about peeing in your hair?
F plus?
We got you, Paige.
Can we get a fourth? Why don't we have bingo cards yet? Because got you, Peg. Right, yeah. Can we get a fourth? Can we get a fourth?
Yeah. Why don't we have bingo
cards yet? Because, like, seriously,
we do. They've been on
the website for years. They're 14
inches wide by 40 inches
long.
Oh my
God, plus ultra
bingo. Oh my God, that'll be
our next marathon. That's it. That's what we're doing.
We'll just have a 200 by 200 bingo card.
My heart rate just went up by 20.
You know what the solution is, right?
You need raw meat.
I just got depressed and tired as soon as I said marathon.
Oh my my.
All right.
Lord.
Okay, Boots, I just want to hear just from you.
That's all right.
I just need to hear something from Eat Raw Meat Official.
Good.
Yeah, so just solve my problem, if you wouldn't mind.
Dandruff?
Ever since starting this diet, I've begun to develop dandruff and an itchy scalp.
I also stopped using shampoo and conditioner at the same time.
But I still shower with just water about five times a week.
I want to try using raw butter or egg yolks, but my hair is long and it might just end up too much of it. Has anyone else
experienced it? Any suggestions
or remedies?
And yeah, my name's
Eat Raw Meat Official.
I only get dandruff
when I eat moldy berries.
Make sure you're eating cheese
and cook
and put some bone marrow
on the scalp.
What the fuck?
Is this Army Hammer?
I love how
every single sentence of this fucking
doc is like, oh yeah, here's some new
random crap to put somewhere.
My dumbest cousin would love
this shit.
You're putting bone marrow
on your scalp, asshole.
Don't worry, Bitcoin News 2447's here.
Oh my god.
It's just cheese and
moldy berries.
Jack, Jack, take Bitcoin News 2447, please.
Okay.
John recommended the following.
Yep.
Eating plenty of raw fat and alkalizing foods usually ends dandruff within one to two months.
Occasionally, it may return for a week or two as the body discards old, stored, unutilizable fat
and other toxins through the scalp.
Through the scalp?
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, that's where I get rid of all the shit.
Can Rudy Giuliani sweats?
Yeah.
So fat is toxins too?
That guy was just detoxing.
Holy shit.
Rudy Giuliani is always detoxing.
My mother said,
a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the lips.
During these times, a topical remedy
can be applied. Once every second or third day,
massage one and a half tablespoons of
cold-pressed fermented coconut
oil or stone-pressed olive oil, blended
with one teaspoon of fresh cucumber into
the scalp, and let stand overnight.
Then wet hair, wash hair, and scalp with
whipped raw whole egg.
Let egg remain for
three to five minutes and rinse
hair and scalp thoroughly.
People are just making aioli on their heads.
Where's the apple cider vinegar?
Oh my god, you're right.
Oh yeah.
You're right.
That is...
That's really irresponsible.
Like, Bitcoin news, Jesus jesus christ oh you know
i thought i thought bitcoin news would be less prone to scams and bad advice yeah this is kind
of my god burst my bubble
okay um uh uh uh kent kendrick uh your name is uh c star zero i have a question for you Okay Um Uh Uh Kendrick
Your name's
C star zero
I have a question for you
If that's alright
My name is
Um
Yeah
You're C star
C star zero
I've got a question for you
Um
Uh
I have a toothache
Um
And because I'm new to the diet
And haven't cared much
About my dental hygiene
And consume sugary drinks often, I figure, I figure, okay?
If cheese acts as a sponge with pulls in metals and subdues them with its mineral and fat content, metals are the cause of oral gum inflammation slash cavity slash nerve agitation by their rippling through everything.
Would clamping my problem teeth down on some cheese
and keeping it there help?
What?
Just always be chewing cheese.
ABCC, bro.
ABCC?
What?
Yes, you could do cheese pulling
to pull toxins and metals from the gums and teeth.
Also, packing clay around the teeth can help pull some toxins out.
But some specific type of French green clay or tarot...
Always be chewing clay.
Oh, ABCC still.
It just works.
Eating cheese and honey after a meat meal is the best and help and rebuild the teeth, as you know.
So about 25 minutes after, eat a cube of cheese then 10
minutes after that eat your cheese and honey that way the minerals from the cheese and honey are
protected at least this is what agenda says oh yeah so if there's one way to rebuild your teeth
and keep them strong it's just smear a bunch of honey on it. That's really... I mean, I'm a dentist.
Also, he says two tablespoons
unripe pineapple and two tablespoons
cheese together will
strengthen the gums around teeth, which may help
reduce some pain.
Eugenus said quite a bit about teeth
and cavities, etc., and heavy metals
coming from the teeth, so look in some
of the text, there's a lot about it.
Also, the updated toothpaste recipe is really good to keep the teeth clean so they in some of the text, there's a lot about it. Also, the updated toothpaste recipe
is really good to keep the teeth clean so they can
remineralize properly.
I don't know if I answered your question fully,
but hope it helps.
It did, you know,
yeah, Eat Raw Meat
official thinks that your
advice is bad, but unfortunately
I ignore him.
There you go.
Bullet dodged?
Jesus.
Yeah, so
I completely ignore raw meat
officials
saying, don't do this, and say,
right, thanks for the heads up. Just to update,
my pain has completely subsided on account
of this cheese pulling.
I have to wonder about
the efficiency of detox just
biting down on cheese and keeping it there
while idle and spitting it out every 15
to 20 minutes, at which point you can
eat a fresh cube or
have a meal after washing out the mouth,
etc. This is possible for me since
I work remotely,
which offers me the slight luxury of
being able to, especially conscious
of the diet.
But I guess that would damage the teeth by frequent impulse to dump metals,
even with careful consideration of meat intake or middle ear intake.
And then E-Raw Meat Official says,
as long as you don't leave the cheese there for extended periods of time, it's fine.
You're doing the right thing.
How can these people afford this much cheese?
Yeah, my god, these are some cheese rich bastards, aren't they? Bourgeois
cheese. I'm not a big cheese guy,
but you're investing in all
of this. That's true.
They're almost certainly making it themselves.
Okay.
Excuse me.
When they say
cheese, they just mean old milk.
It's just like some lumpy shit that they found in their corner.
Unrefrigerated bowl of milk.
We left this out for the cat, but you know what? Waste not, want not.
I suspect they probably referred to that as aged milk.
Yeah, yeah.
Somebody comes in their house and goes, that doesn't look very good, and they're like, don't worry, it's not milk. Yeah, yeah. Somebody comes in their house and goes,
that doesn't look very good, and they're like,
don't worry, it's not salted.
Don't worry, there's no COVID-19 in it.
Boots.
What's One Life 2027, I have to say?
That's when One Life is going to die, I guess.
Well, it's going to die in like three years. It's going to die, I guess. Well, it's going to die in like
three years. It's going to be fine.
Okay, yeah.
Primal diet causing
fungus? No.
Hi.
I'm One Life
2027.
I've been on the primal diet
since about one month
and it seems like I have catched a fungus
on my genitals.
Whoa!
Which is not the best place
to have one.
I wonder
whether there can be a
causal link.
No.
There's not the sickest causality!
I mean, you never said don't fuck with cheese.
I know that, ah, Jotis, see fungus as beneficial in helping detox.
So could it be that the diet has trigger a detox that my body need the fungus to help him?
These people vote.
Is there other people who
had the same kind of things?
What you're going to want to do is you're going to want
to pack your balls full of cheese
and then slather it with honey
and leave it there for 48 hours.
You've got to spit the cheese out for more cheese.
Yeah, clamp your balls down on it for about 15 to
20 minutes, but then spit it out.
Don't swallow the cheese with your dick.
And then whip it together with a raw egg.
Right.
Yeah, fortunately, nobody's explained to these people that buying 500 Ron Paul stickers is not safe.
It's not.
Yeah.
Okay, so this next section, this next section, holy shit.
Holy shit. I know that, okay, so this next section, holy shit, holy shit.
I know that, okay, so here we go.
The next section is called Here's the Really Gross Food.
Oh, good.
I want another beer.
Oh, God.
Yeah, so here's something.
Jack, you're about to read something, but before you read something,
we have a note from the document provider, Salubrious Rex, just so you know.
You're going to be running into, in this section, you're going to be running into
the phrase high meat.
H-I-G-H, meat. High meat.
And high meat
is a meat that's been left
in a jar to rot and ferment
for a long period of time.
Good.
They call it
high meat
Because when they eat rotten meat
They get high off of this
Yeah, I'm sure they get high
I'm sure they're feeling great
Search high meat
Thanks, thanks, Solibrius
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Anyway, um, uh
You know what, uh, Jack
If you'll take the user by the name of Tip Hop
T-I-P-H-O-P
Wow, do not look up
high meat. Do not look up images
of high meat. Oh, is there pictures?
Wow. Yeah.
Yeah, alright, so this post
is called High Meat Infested
with Maggots. Hey!
How did that happen?
After three months of fermenting
ox heart, a fly must have got
in the jar. Oh!
That jar is now crawling with maggots.
It will take me a minute to work
up the courage to consume this.
Whoa.
So he's still going
for it. Alright, go get him, Tip-Op.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm wondering if it's best to consume it
sooner rather than later, or should I
continue to let it ferment into a liquid?
Yeah.
Whoa. Maybe this is a blessing.
Maybe. And the maggots will break it
down really fast and make it
super potent.
Karen, Karen.
Oh my gosh.
Anyone have any experience? None.
I imagine being the poor guy at the DEA that's got to look up if this is illegal or not.
Boots, what's Eat Raw Made Officials reply to that?
It's fine if you can stomach it.
Just more stem cells, you know?
Yeah.
Come on.
So that's what A. Jonas said?
Yes. He said this himself? I'm struggling to find any info thanks
Yeah yeah yeah
Any food that's alive has more stem cells
And you can eat bugs by the way
And you can eat bugs
It's legal it's in the Torah
It's fine
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ!
Oh!
Oh!
Wait!
Can I?
Yeah, tip hop.
The bolded?
No, not the bolded part.
Actually, before that.
The response before the bolded part.
I wonder what kind of bad bacteria could be on a fly.
Perhaps if a fly had eaten poop with chemicals
in it, the bacteria...
That would be a problem
if the poop had chemicals on it!
The bacteria
might contain toxic bacteria,
which could cause food poisoning.
What if the poop had the COVID vaccine in it?
I'm sorry. Let me read that sentence again.
Because it's fucking nonsense.
Perhaps if a fly had eaten poop with chemicals in it,
the bacteria might contain that toxic bacteria
which could cause food poisoning.
Every time I do this podcast I come across
the dumbest things
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Kendrick actually speaking
speaking of the dumbest things
speaking of the dumbest things
Kendrick,
read the post I just posted there.
Raw
lamb brain went to
my head. What?
It's not like you got
egotistical because you're all, oh, I
eat raw lamb brain.
I'm getting my zone.
I feel like we've missed
five minutes of Mark's brother's setup for this.
I'm you deleted.
Raw
lamb brain went to my head.
I can actually feel
it. My brain is throbbing.
How did it reach my brain
so quickly?
My eyes are actually blurry too.
Yeah, this is like Errol Wynn.
This is funny.
He's doing a live trip.
This really makes me think about Jeeper Creepers
more than I already have.
What?
Wow.
You are an evolved state.
I knew on some level
that the organ you eat
is the organ you replace.
So now you've got the brain of a sheep?
Differentiation
is so specific at that point
it would be
physiologically nonsensical
for it not to target that organ.
But I've never felt
it. I mean, that's why I only
eat horse sticks.
Come on, man.
I can only do this for so long.
There are no nerves
in the liver.
So when I eat liver...
There are no...
Let me Google
how many nerves
in liver.
Zero.
Not one goddamn nerve.
Google responds.
We got to care with capital N, lowercase
A, capital N.
There are no nerves in the
liver, so when I eat liver,
especially high liver,
I do get euphoric,
but I couldn't feel it
hitting my liver directly.
Right.
I just had four lamb brains.
Wow.
Even the fact that they've been in my
fridge for a while wasn't
enough of a deterrent, I guess,
because they literally went
to my head.
Dude.
I swallowed and they went up.
I have to eat an animal fresh one day.
As in, like, I have to slaughter one and eat the organs and brains.
I cannot die before I try that.
I now know that the organ I eat is the organ I assimilate.
Now I become Chicken Nugget.
Destroyer of Worlds.
Now I become chicken nugget.
Destroyer of worlds.
That throws a wrench in any pro-vegan conversion hypotheses I ever had.
There is no way that we evolved on a plant-based diet.
It just simply can't be the case.
I need more brain.
I agree.
I think my brain is growing now.
It actually kind of hurts, but in a good way.
Like when you exercise your muscles, this diet is fucking amazing.
Yo, my new album, I Need More Brain just dropped.
Wouldn't it be amazing if this guy never posted again?
This is my
Wait wait wait
Yeah so as you said
And you're not wrong Bunny Bread
This is fucking Irowit
Or at least people pretending it's Irowit
Cause like this guy's tripping balls off his lamb brain
So post a reply
To his own post
I'm tripping
I'm tripping
As if I took magic mushrooms.
Okay, so now I can even tell the difference between D2 and D3 and why mushrooms go to your head.
But they can't be good.
They have to induce damage because they're not the right molecular structure.
They're imitations.
Wait, whoa, what the fuck is up with mushrooms?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mushrooms are wannabe
meat. Or they're wannabe
fermented
lamb brain. Exactly. They're diet
meat. This is bullshit.
Yeah, every
mushroom wants to be a cow heart.
Or is my body clearing out something
that was deposited
into my brain?
The search continues.
Keep going.
Deleted. Continuing to talk to himself.
Oh, good. Maybe
we became symbiotic
with the magic mushroom, which gave us
self-reflection and language.
I thought mushrooms sucked
dick compared to lamb brains.
Whoa.
I mean, okay.
I believe, I actually
believe you. Like, I believe you because
like, you know, hallucinogenic effects can come from a lot
of places. You literally
poisoned yourself. Yeah, definitely, bro.
Yeah. You absolutely
poisoned yourself. I need more brain. I actually believe you tripped
right there.
This is a man dying.
Yeah, this is really, right, this is the last sputterings of a dying brain.
It's just like...
Hey, delete it.
I don't know if you know this, but like, you can just buy drugs.
Yeah.
Do I seem like a guy that has money, man?
You don't need to slaughter baby sheep and keep them in your fridge.
They're not that hard to find find I'm sure if you ask around
Magic mushrooms you just said I feel like as if
There's some farmer that's like hey man
That guy's back out in the field again
Lemon
What drugs could I buy that give me the same experience
As
Whatever the fuck this guy is
Eating lamb brains bro
Four lamb brains, bro.
Four lamb brains.
That seems like a lot.
I remember I had a friend,
this is a little bit of an aside, but I had a friend that for a while was into
a suspension.
He wanted to have hooks
in his body and be suspended
because that amount of pain.
I was like, what do you like about that? He was like, that amount of pain he was i was like what do you like about
that he was like that amount of pain like really makes me high sure and i was like yeah i'm sure
it does but like you can do drugs yeah it's just like i get the destination but you can find another Anyway Any issues for you?
Yeah, what's up?
How do you feel about good pig intestines?
Okay
You're no lambreens, man
Well, let's see
What do I think about it?
Or what does SamuelChill0621
Think about it?
I mean, you know, you pick
Yeah, I'm Samuel, I got chill I'm trying to get some good pig intestines For parasites 0621. Think about it. I mean, you know, you pick.
Yeah, I'm Samuel. I got chill.
I'm trying to get some good pig intestines for parasites.
Oh?
Oh?
I hope this sentence doesn't get weirder.
Nah, it's for me and my dog.
Oh!
When you say you and your dogs, you mean like
your frat bros?
Nope.
Nope, we eat out of the same bowl.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm in Maryland.
Oh, that explains it.
I going to ask around at different farms,
but wondered if anyone here knew
who could hook me up with raw intestines
with the poop still in it. With the poop still in it!
I love chitlins,
but I hate that they're so fancy.
God damn.
If I had the money to spend, I would
pay Little John to say,
with the poop still in it!
I like the idea that all the deleteds we see
are all the same eye guy.
Oh my gosh.
What the fuck?
Jack, check this Pippi Squeaky have a question for me.
I'm not full primal yet, but eating shit?
Really?
I didn't read this in the books.
Hey, Jonah, read between the lines, fucker.
Eat some lamb brains and maybe you'll understand
something, dumb shit.
Alright, the last section here
is general uncategorized
crack pottery.
Oh.
And, uh,
okay. Holy shit. Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
Oh no. Alright, Buddy Branson. I'm going to give you a choice. You Christ. Jesus Christ. Oh, no. All right, buddy bros.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to give you a choice.
You got yourself a choice.
Oh, okay, good.
You got yourself a choice.
They are good choices.
Okay, I love choices.
Oh, no.
Some fucking smart motherfuckers.
Yep.
Yep, yep, yep.
Yep.
Option number one.
And this first word is in quotes here.
This is a care quote.
Good, good, good.
Option number one.
Ethical fields of health care to work in quotes here. This is a care quote. Good, good, good. Option number one, ethical fields of health care to work in.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Okay, okay.
Against my better judgment, I'm going to hold out and wait for you to say option two.
No, understood, understood.
Because option two is, how long are you supposed to breastfeed?
Oh, no.
Whoa.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Yeah, no, they're fucked up options.
I didn't tell you which one to pick,
but there's something in bold in the second one that really caught my eye.
There's something before the bold
in the second one that really caught my eye.
Logan,
I believe some angels on my shoulder
are telling me to pick option number two.
And I, you know, I'm a Christian.
So please, option number two.
Yeah.
What's your name there?
What's your name?
I'm trying to find.
Oh, there we are.
Okay.
Actually, the OP is a username Thorodor, but that's not you.
You're Lekredivore.
I'm Lekredivore, thoroughly.
All right.
This is not a big community.
I guess they do have a pretty high attrition rate.
Yeah, for some reason.
They don't hang around here for very long.
I'm Lekredivore.
Interesting comments.
Women are in fact very toxic.
Women are in fact very toxic.
Thanks, bitch.
And breast milk might contain high levels of those toxins.
Might be filled with womanly things.
On the other hand, breastfeeding
is extremely important
for muscle and facial
development, and also bonding, I guess.
Despite...
I'm likely credivore not being able to figure out what kind of creep
he wants to be at this point.
I'm masturbating sideways. I'm just
licking everything.
I'm just... Despite that,
I have seen extremely attractive
and symmetrical people
who were bottle fed.
Fuck yeah.
What?
Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah.
Let's hear it for the bottle feeders.
Yeah.
What's up? Throw them up.
So, nutrients... Bottle feeders, put your hands up.
So, nutrients
might be more important.
Nutrients
might be important somehow.
I would
personally wait at least
two to four years
on the diet perfectly,
both husband and wife,
wife sucking her own titties,
before even getting pregnant.
The fact...
Not the question.
Whoa. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
All right. Wow.
No, make sure...
This is about getting rid of your toxins
before you feed baby.
Hey, I think this guy might not have good cognitive faculties.
It's because you don't suck enough teddy milk.
The fact that I am creating life is too important, Rush.
And my future offspring will have to deal with health issues because of inheriting my toxicity.
Boots, you want to say it again?
There are many milestones that should be achieved before being pregnant as well,
such as being overweight and having a large amount of fat storage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Don't be fat while pregnant, bitch.
Hey, hey, can I talk to your wife?
Yes.
Wait, no, I thought...
Wait, isn't it saying you want to be overweight?
Yeah, it's saying you want to be overweight.
Oh, whoopsie!
Be fatter, bitch.
Having done at least 100 hours
of hot baths.
The more the better.
Being properly...
Malcolm Gladwell says I need to do 10,000 hours of hot baths.
Yeah, exactly.
Now I am a master of my craft.
I can get wetter than anyone.
Being properly colonized by different bacteria.
Eating?
Wait for it.
And how do we get those colonies?
Yeah.
I'm very glad you asked.
I was going to share this.
So this guy watched that episode of Futurama where Fry gets infested with worms.
And he was like, no, that's absolutely what it is. Like, he jerked off to that episode of Futurama where Fry gets infested with the worms? And he was like, no, that's absolutely what
he jerked off to that episode.
I found clarity,
as you will too, if
you eat high meat
and poop, that's
how you get your different bacteria.
High meat and shit, ladies
and gentlemen.
Going through the Moldy Berry Protocol to get rid of... Oh, yes, the Moldy Berry Protocol.
The Moldy Berry Protocol, as, you know, defined by NORAD,
to get rid of as much heavy metals and also penicillin as you can.
What?
You want to get rid of penicillin, stupid.
Yeah.
Dummy.
Oh, I thought this was like a shot in a chaser thing.
No, no, no.
It's not like, yeah, you eat a turd and then you chug some penicillin.
Right.
Yeah.
Wait.
You have to have at least one year of intense cheese trains.
Oh, my god.
Please don't educate us
on what a cheese train is. I no longer
care. Alright.
I know it's a phrase. I'm saying
to the listener. Like, to the listeners of this
podcast. Don't tell us. We're not interested.
Yeah, we would have looked it up.
I promise. I've already
been practicing. You don't need to tell me
what a cheese train is. Other people
may have more suggestions,
but these are some particular goals
I personally am striving for, along
with my wife. Although
the woman has the most
important role, I also
feel a great responsibility
to give her the best
sperm I possibly can.
One that is free of heavy metals,
but filled with fecal matter.
Man has the sperm to impregnate the woman.
As a side note,
if you're already pregnant or breastfeeding,
do your best with what you already have.
I would assume breastfeeding six months,
at least to be good.
Once teeth start appearing biologically
instead of I guess metaphorically
it means they are ready
to start introducing the high meat
yep exactly they start introducing
some food remember high
meat no penicillin for
the child until they've eaten their shit.
Boots?
Boots?
Yeah.
I'm looking here at two posts.
Two posts by a... It's a confusing username to be in here
because it's Omnivorous Rex,
which I feel like should be a pariah.
That ain't right.
If you're actually omnivorous, like, get the fuck out.
But a salubrious Rex clarifies no relation.
No relation to salubrious Rex.
Well, maybe they're just like, they eat kings of all sorts.
Like, they just, uh...
They eat raw life.
They're not very selective.
God, Danish kings
Scandinavian kings
Just whatever
Incredible joke buddy
Thank you
Okay
I think
Boots
We're coming up on time here
So I think I'm going to have to give you a choice
to finish us up with.
You've got three choices. All of them
are posts written by Omnivorous Rex.
The first
post is called,
I think I've created a monster!
No, no, no.
Gee.
The second post
by Omnivorous Rex
no relation to Salubrious Rex
is Andre the Giant
if he ate raw meat
I'm not trying to influence your choices
no no
okay
I don't want to push you
but I will say that that post contains a sentence in bold, which is,
were giants more common and real thousands of years ago?
Okay.
Okay.
Were giants more real?
Like, did they keep it real?
Did they keep it 100?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And your last choice, whichever you want to go with, but your last choice is vampires!
Zero out his own microphone.
This is honestly really tough,
because I did initially have my heart on vampires,
but I think I'm going with Andre the Giant here.
Fuck! Wow! Wow! Wow!
Peer pressure works!
Yeah, it does.
God, they're both so good
THCFPL.US
check out this doc
there's so much in here
fuck
okay my name's
there's another thing in the doc that we skipped
over called is burping babies
necessary
anyway sorry you were saying Necessarily. Yeah. Yeah, I mean... Anyway, sorry.
You were saying.
Andre the Giant, if he ate raw meat,
his body kept getting bigger and bigger,
and that required a ton of nutrition and energy.
He clearly wasn't getting from his american fast food diet he's from like
france he's from france yeah yeah well and you know his body kept getting bigger and bigger
because he was so malnutrition americans you know malnourished no from his american fast food diet
and apparently was a massive drinker and can consume over 100 plus beers in a single night out. He still, however,
grew to an immense height and weight
and was called the Andre the
Giant we all know.
Why, that's the Andre the Giant.
He was known. He had a
pituitary gland disorder in which
he produced growth hormones indefinitely
till he died.
Wait, genetics are a thing that exists?
No, can't be.
Had he consumed the raw primal diet
and didn't drink,
he could have lived a long, healthy life
as well as becoming even larger?
Andre was a giant,
but my other question is,
were giants more common and real
thousands of years ago?
Yeah.
How old was Oddly the Giant
anyways?
I asked the question,
and now that the answer is yes,
when these giant humans lived
in less toxic environments,
didn't stress their bodies
from wrestling or bad diets
and became stuff of legends?
Myths?
It's ultimately Vince McMahon's bad yeah, no, it's ultimately
Vince McMahon's bad influence.
Yeah, he struck their bodies from wrestling.
Growth was stunted.
Can you imagine Andre the Giant
being in the ring and Hulk Hogan
thinking he was the growth warrior?
When I was a kid,
there were giants everywhere.
They weren't eating at McDonald's.
To me, this seems very real.
I do believe giants existed en masse at some point,
and those fairy tales we grew up hearing could have been real.
For example, if you research the Yamnya people,
the original group of Indo-Europeans who lived on the steppes of Russia,
they were an immensely powerful and large people.
Their skulls were larger
in comparison to ours, and
they subsisted primarily
off raw dairy
and some meat and eggs.
And they would have been quite scary
to the modern human today
and weren't by any stretch really
that ancient.
Skip a bunch, assumably. and weren't by any stretch really that ancient. Right.
Skip a bunch, assumably.
I mean, just as a footnote,
I don't know that we need it,
but like as a footnote,
the Yamnia, I'm looking it up,
was a culture that was in existence from 3300 to 2600 BC.
So obviously all of the records there
would be really good. Pretty good, yeah. You know. of the records there would be really good.
Pretty good, yeah.
You know.
Whatever they would say would be fucking true.
There's some history nerds like,
um, actually, that's not true.
And they wrote down their diets like pretty thoroughly,
as I understand.
Then there's a paragraph where I just say,
basically, does diet influence evolution more than we think?
And then I go on to say
what we eat makes us who we are physically and mentally you couldn't say that this way of eating
doesn't make you more aware stronger this is the reason why the government don't want people eating this. Right. Right. Right. We'd be too dangerous, too aware, no brain fog or mental illness.
A focused and clear mind with no mental distractions.
Yeah.
One that can see through deception and follow through with their goals.
Yeah, why does it be?
Hillary wants to take away your sheep brain.
Exactly.
Oh, hey, man.
Why won't they let us drink more maggots?
Damn it.
I hope you can hear how much gesticulating I'm doing as I say this.
Yeah.
Oh, we can.
Good.
And dice rolling.
Yeah.
I know I went on a monologue, but it flowed.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, mad flow, baby.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It flowed.
Yeah, Bart.
And I wanted to say it all.
I think this diet is very important to society,
and the way a population eats can determine its path or course,
as well as individual happiness and health.
Thank you.
It flows like the liquid high meat that's out on my porch.
Yep.
It has been since 2006.
I think you want to bring that in.
That's just about right.
Yeah.
He finishes up his post with a link to a
YouTube
YouTube video.
And the specific video that he linked to
was something about the Yamnia tribe.
I'm not going to watch. But I did see
that the channel had a
video titled
Black Plague Victims Debunked!
They were pretending
to try and get your money.
Full of shit.
It was a false flag operation.
They were liberals.
Look, people, we're out here.
We're debunking the Black Plague hoax.
Nobody even lived in those houses in the first place.
Alex Jones must now play Black Plague Victims.
700 trillion dollars.
700 trillion dollars.
Some fucking peasant's like,
yeah, finally.
Oh my god.
What have we learned from any of this, F Plus?
I don't drink enough goat's blood.
No.
Most of these people are dead. That's what we learned. Most of these people are dead.
That's what we learned.
Most of these people are fucking dead. These are some dead motherfuckers we're mocking right now.
Which is, you know, it's rude.
I don't feel bad for them.
Nah. Nope.
Fucking.
I felt like the meat-only
people, I felt kind of bad for them.
Nothing here.
Well, like,
because, like,
because, like, meat tastes good.
And we're all familiar with the idea
of overdoing it. So, like,
we did an episode called
Carne Idiota, 326 if you're
interested, and, like, people were eating too much
meat because, you know,
Jordan Peterson, and
terrible things were happening to
them but like this is something where like they had so many early indications like somebody was
sitting on his computer typing on reddit looking at a rotten jar of meat and being like
there's no there's no like one person who's a voice of reason.
There's that mod guy, the official guy, who just keeps it going.
There's no one that's like, I don't like drinking this.
Yeah, no.
The only thing close to it...
Those posts are definitely deleted.
Yeah.
I think that's probably true, yeah.
The closest thing they've got is like somebody
saying well as a jonas told us right before he was crucified um you should always be drinking
you know shit smoothies and uh i don't know chug inject your maggots directly up your ass i don't
even know one of the three rules was like no advice that a jonas didn't give so like a jonas
probably never wrote stuff yeah
yeah guaranteed he was never like hey whoa slow down whoa whoa is that a shit smoothie hold on guy
people buy my books he's like i wrote this as keep doing what you're doing a joke like
the scientology thing like i wrote like yeah man i like this is i mean again like and and and we
like we've done a couple of these now.
There was, like, the butter episode and the no shampoo episode.
Yeah.
But, like, this has been people that have been, like, doing actions, seeing causation, and going, what the fuck is happening?
Yeah, why am I shitting so much?
Why can't I stop shitting?
Yeah, I can't
imagine why people who
can't associate causes and consequences
are really into this as a diet.
Well, there's also, I realize
that there's no consistency, right? So there's
one person that's like, help, I can't
stop shitting. And one person's like, oh, you need butter for that
and your teeth. And he's like, no, you can't
do butter in your teeth. The other guy's like, well, you definitely can do butter for that and your teeth and he's like no you can't do butter in your teeth the other guy's like well you definitely can do butter but not
your teeth like wait what wait a minute like there's no if this androgynous androgynous guy
wrote this book like you should all have kind of the same information
well it's like it's kind of like it's kind of like the uh like the nofap thing right because
it's like it's like if somebody was out there
like starting a reddit community that was like jerk off all of the time never stop jerking it'd
be like well that's bad advice but like i get what you're going for you know like like i get the
motivation there but like all of this stuff like i don't what's the fucking why why are you doing
this like what are you going to the person in the middle of the venn diagram between nofap and raw primal there's more than one this is just a
circle i do think yeah i do think there's so much crossover here there's so much crossover here
there's one guy out of it because his dick fell off yeah
dick fell off question mark should i should i eat it yeah
you know when you said like these are all just the the titles of like youtube
like snapshots yeah i agree like eight raw meat? Yeah, just question marks all over the goddamn place.
Everywhere.
Our website is always
thefbl.us
All of our episodes are on there.
Lots of them have chapters.
There's documents for just about all of them.
A picture of Achilles Healy
is on there somewhere.
Yelling at an apple.
And our forum is
ball pit. And
here's what I'm
hoping. Here's what I'm hoping.
Is that by the time this episode comes out,
if you go to
ahoylemon.xyz
you will be able to play the
hot new game that's sweeping the nation.
Favorite game
everybody loves
is this
Nicki Minaj!
Okay, bye! This is hot me, this is mentally blind
This is hot me, no
I'll straight out the window
I'll walk down the edge
I will not finish
Till I'm fully satisfied
This is hot, me, this is metallic
Blindness, help me in the sense
Of a broken heart