The F Plus - 59: Planet Moneygrubber

Episode Date: October 10, 2011

Starting any creative endeavor takes a lot of hard work, dilligence, business acumen and some amount of money. It used to be that you were expected to come up with all of that yourself, but with the internet being what it is, people have come to expect that other people should provide at least one of those important factors. To that end, we would like to introduce you to kickstarter.com - a site dedicated to enterpraneurs amassing capital by the time-tested means of asking someone else for it. It's kind of like panhandling, except they like to use the word investment. This week on The F Plus, you won't need to put down your controller to grab a snack.

Alright, I'm Greg Vance. Hey, Greg. Hey. Hi. Give me money. No. Why? Why?

Podcasting! Stop wasting my time. You know what I want. You know what I need. Oh, maybe you don't. Do I have to come right back out and tell you everything? Give me some money Give me some money

Hey there, this is the F+, Terrible Things Read with Enthusiasm. My name's Lemon. And I'm John. And how are you doing this week, John? I'm doing all right, but you know what? I've been looking for jobs. I haven't had one in a while. Oh, sure.

And I'll tell you what, it's frustrating. What's that? Nobody's hiring. I mean, I've walked around. I've sent resumes online. I've talked to different people. I've even strapped a bunch of resumes to my chest. Like, you know, you've got the glue on top. You can rip them off. I've just had that on my chest while I wore my

suit and just walked around with my resume. I feel like that might be a barrier to employment. Gluing your resume to your chest. I thought it'd make it easier for people to notice me. They didn't notice me, but not in a good way. Anyways, it didn't work. Whatever. Did you get the little stripes on the bottom where it says your phone number and then you tear off one? Okay, I'll do that next. Still, I don't know if stripes on the bottom where it says your phone number and then you tear off one? Oh, okay. I'll do that next. But still, I don't know if it'll work either because it just seems like there's nothing out there. And, you know, I'm just – why do I have to have a job as my thing?

Why can't I just – oh, I don't know. Just do a podcast. Just talk on an internet thing and have people download it, and that's what I do. Well, because, I mean, you need money. I mean, you have to pay rent. You have to buy food. I don't know what sort of vices you might have, but, you know, most of those cost money. I guess, but, you know.

It's just the way of the world. You need to have an income. Maybe, you know, I don't know if it probably won't make any actual money, but I could see about getting an investment going. You know, maybe just a little bit of start, and then, you know, at least that'll be something. An investment that's just garbage, this gobbledygook. You're just saying words. Yeah, but get a little seed money in there, and then I can get started doing this podcast that no one will listen to.

Wait, why would people? Who would invest in a podcast? Podcasts are inherently a failure, I mean, a loss of money. You don't make money. I mean, even the successful podcasts aren't making money on podcasting. I'll tell you who will give me that money. The internet. They're full rooms. They'll buy anything.

They'll send money off to, I don't know, for Adam Carolla to vomit into a microphone for an hour. Come on. Every day. Doesn't he do that for free already? Well, what you might want to do, and I don't know if you've ever already uh well what you what you might want to do and i don't know if you if you've ever been but if you go to kickstarter.com uh there's a whole bunch of

people that have projects um and they want you to fund them and most of these projects are for profit for profit projects where it's like you know i will make a thing and then profit off of it but please give me free money so I can do that. Yeah, yeah, but I mean, are there a lot of... Well, let me check, because my thing is, and I'm going to look this up, it's only going to work for me if there are a lot of projects that really won't make any money or pipe dreams

and just won't do anything for... Oh. No, all right, I'm set. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah, let's get to the readers. In the room tonight we have Portex. You're bull. Greg tells a heartwarming story about his dictator in a diaper, while Ryan throws his head at a friend. So enjoy.

Jimmy Franks? Gay babies. So enjoy. Isfahan? Hey, hey, tits on a boar hog. In this episode, Ryan wonders why he's friends with Greg because of the story he tell when he was ten. So enjoy. Boots rain gear. Shit happens. We are

sorry for what follows. So enjoy. John? Rapture smapture. The world sorry for what follows. So enjoy. John. Rapture, smapture. The world is going to end. So enjoy. And Lemon. This is not a good episode. Seriously, it's not. There are so many problems with this episode. It will do nothing but piss you off.

Just go listen to a previous episode. No joke. So enjoy! I've got the brains. You've got the looks. Let's make lots of money. No joke. So enjoy! Alright, John, please tell me your name and what your project is. My name is Tara Snover. I'm from Denver, Colorado. And my game is Princess, a 2.5D platformer satire extravaganza.

The project is Princess Escape from Kingdom Calamity. Calamity, spelled with a K K is a fast-paced 2D 2.5D platformer, rather. Side-scrolling satire interactive experience, aka a video game. Oh, you fuck. Following the adventures of a kidnapped princess and her escape

from the evil king's castle. It features old-school platforming, puzzle-solving, and shoot-em-up madness. What's new-school platforming? 3 school platforming, puzzle solving, and shoot-em-up madness. What's new school platforming? 3D platforming? Yeah. Princess is, apparently is is her name since it's capitalized, Princess is,

Princess is an homage to the old school games like Mario, Zelda, and Contra Princess. All while making fun of all the cliches that all those old games had. Okay, yeah, read it one more time. That's a good sentence. I want to play Contra Princess. I do too. One solid sentence. Princess is an homage

to the old school games like Mario, Zelda, and Contra Princess all the while making fun of all the cliches that all those old school games had. Also, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's good that she's finally stumbled upon this concept, because nobody's ever made a game that's supposed to be about old video game cliches. Yeah, the idea of a retro video game is so... Yeah, like... I'm kind of hoping the webcomic industry...

Now you discount this already, but listen to the next sentence. It also focuses on a simple, fun, dark, and funny story. See? You spoke too soon, didn't you? It's serious, but also funny. It's light, but also dark. The princess is escaping from the castle.

Princesses don't escape from castles. I had no idea what tone I wanted to take with my story. It's a feature. We are not going to be adding anything needlessly convoluted or unnecessary, meaning no alien invasion,

no big hulking men with chainsaw guns, just a girl and her musket, making a mad dash back to her castle. See, we're not reliant on conventions from 2008. We're reliant on conventions from 1988. It's a very distinct difference. Okay, so big hulking men with chainsaw guns, convoluted, a girl with her musket going to a castle not convoluted.

Right. Followed by a picture of a stump. Yeah. 3D render, first ZBrush project of a stump. Of a tree stump. Which is seriously like they made a stump and then went, oh, we can make a game now. Now that we have a stump.

I would honestly be more interested if the stump was the main character of the game. Now, let's listen, though, because here's the next important part. What happens? How we will use your money. 100% of the requested funding used to get us over the first game hump.

That's the first step in any good game development, the first hump. Just to let the listeners know, Game Hump is a future site we'll be covering. Great. Right now, all the funding is coming out of our own pockets. There is no revenue coming in yet, so we need to have other jobs and side work to pay studio bills and feed ourselves. But with your support, we can focus on just the game and finish it in no time flat. Okay, so this is literally not just like, oh, we're making this,

you know, we're going to use the money to get a publisher or distribute or anything. We just want the money so we a publisher or distribute or anything. We just want the money so we can do this instead of getting a job. We're paying for the development out of our own pockets. We would prefer to pay for the development out of your pockets. Well, the thing is, that would kind of make

a little more sense. This is just, we want to quit our jobs and just dick around and ZBrush all day, and we want you to pay for it. These people don't have jobs. Well, if anything, the level of quality is worth it. What with the MS Paint drawing of a princess up there and this 3D stump with no

background. I'd like to point out with that drawing of the princess, the artist knew that arms and shoulders had something to do with each other. But couldn't quite figure it out. Wait, no, that's where princesses have their elbows, is right under their shoulders. Okay, now, in the next...

Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. I'm giving my pitch, come on. Everybody listen. Sorry, Tara. Well, actually, that's kind of boring. I want to skip to the next part, though, that's kind of boring. It just says... I want to skip to the next part, though, because it says the money will go to paying for the music.

None of them know music, so that's why you want to give them money to make music. I guess for other people to make music. Scale up their production values. Well, that'd be... I'd hope so. And getting the game onto platforms. Good.

That is the step, Making a thing able to be bought. Make a thing and stick it on the platform. Okay, but here we go. Here's the crucial thing. Everything over 100% will contribute to more princess games. This is only the first game

that will be made in the princess universe says. We have a total of three princess games planned. I'm sorry, three princess games planed. I've been in the wood shop all day making these video games.

So any additional money will go into the next princess title. Extras. We have a few ideas for extras for princess, including a multiplayer expansion, a race mode, and more. Race mode Kingdom Calamity Kart Racer.

You can get the 3Ks in there. Once you've got 3Ks, you're good. That's the best way to start things. And then, oh, free downloadable comic. There are some stories in the Princess universes that are fun but don't deserve a full expansion or game. So we were going to take these stories and do some comics with M. All right, you're clearly not good at writing.

I need you to give me bullet points on why, because I know you want my donation. I need you to give me bullet points on why I should choose you to donate to. Well, number one, we are not just making another bland shooter. So there you go. Well, you described your game so accurately. We're not making a shooter. So that musket, you're going to beat people with it.

Wait, doesn't she have a musket? Yes, that's the whole point. It's not a bland shooter, though, is the thing. It's her point. Because it's a princess. I mean, if there was ever a game where you were playing a girl with a gun that was running around shooting things, that would just be so different. It's got stumps.

That's true. We know that. Well, also, number two, we are creative people who want to see good games in the world. That would be nice. Meanwhile, we'll make this. Me too. Number three, we have a sense of humor.

This whole page is pretty much a testament to that. We have drive. There is nothing in the universes that can stop us from making games. Except money. So much. You don't even need our money. There's nothing that can stop you.

There's nothing that can stop them because they're never going to start. There's nothing that can start us. And number five. Why not? Well, let's see. How philosophical. If one of your bullet points is eh? Eh?

It's not a very strong thing. You could spend your money on worse things. Hey, it's not crack, right? But guys, guys, this is just the beginning. Oh, I don't want to hear anymore. Bye, supporting this game. No, no, shut up. Look, we have three other projects

sitting on the shelf. Okay, I'm done. How many backers do you have? Well, we have 12 backers. All right. All right, how much money are you looking for? Oh, we're looking for $7,500. That's about reasonable for this.

Uh-huh. How much of that have you raised? Well, it's close, about $594 The reason why it's such a weird number is that two people have pledged a dollar A dollar or more I bet one person pledged $1 and one person pledged $3

That is the minimum pledge Yeah, and they, if in 15 days, other people donate $6,906, we'll eventually get a five-page e-comic about the life of a minion in the

princess game world. Hopefully that means the stump. Man, if you pledge $3,500 or more, you can be the news anchor character. Man, I'm sold. Here's one of the things that I want to know. If I donate to a Kickstarter project and this project doesn't... Because I'm looking at the lead person's portfolio right now, and I have no faith in her doing fucking anything.

Oh, I see. So you're saying if the project goes... I was curious about that, too. She has 3D work, and there's that tree stump, and then she made a Goomba, and then that's it. And then there's this fucking drawing that she did of Calvin and Hobbes that makes me want to kick her in the throat. Yeah, can these people just take the money and run? No, no, no. Are they responsible? No, the thing is, apparently, from what I understand how the site works, you have to reach your goal to get the money.

I understand that. I understand that. But what if they reach their goal? Are they then obligated to finish the project? Yeah, that's a good point. Because I don't see these people as being capable of finishing anything. Am I going to get more out of my money if I just find the next group of polyamorous, Wiccan, Magic the Gathering players and give them $100?

I probably got a better chance of getting a video game. Probably. There's actually a good chance you're donating to the exact same people. See, that's what I was thinking. Before we move on, though, I want to point out the whole thing is like, she has a musket. Isn't that crazy? She's got a musket she's living.

You look at the video and it zooms out, it's a fucking pistol. It's not a musket. It's a flintlock pistol. They can't even get that right. It is a flintlock pistol. But I don't think Lemon hates this woman enough, so John, can you read her bio thing that's on the sidebar?

Of the Kickstarter thing? It's under the picture that she obviously did not draw of herself. Oh, okay. Well, I think Lemon, along with everyone else, wants to hear more about Tara Snover. Stupid bitch. Tara Snover, a 23-year-old video game developer, illustrator, and filmmaker,

has had a thirst for game design from a young age. She was making simple games at the age of eight using HyperCard and MS Paint. From the looks of things, she still is. Now her skill set got worse Now guys, you can't say she's not committed Because she now devotes about 90% of her spare time Making independent games What does that mean?

What is the other 10%? The other 10% is watching 30 Rock And crying into a thing of ice cream I wish I was Liz Lemon. Tara could be described as a super nerd. She reads comics slash manga, watches, she just watches.

No, she reads comics and manga and also watches. That says comics! I was just thinking she just goes 1, 2, 3, 12, wait. Plays D&D,

draws, programs, and cosplays at Amine and sci-fi conventions. Notice, that probably doesn't count as her spare time. Her spare time is the time she spends not doing those things. Right, yeah, really? Yeah, those are serious.

Either that or she has way more spare time than we thought. I get the feeling Lemon really wants to ask her what her favorite amines are. Alright, who gets this next one? Because this is awesome. I think it's up for whoever wants it. I want it! Lemon wants it. I want it!

Okay. This one's really for whoever wants it. I want it! Lemon wants it. I want it! Okay. This one's really fucking great. Alright. This might be my favorite one here, actually, now that I think about it. Okay. Hey, dudes! Hey, Lemon! Hey!

Or whatever your name is. No, my name's not Lemon. It's Jeremy Fernandez. Hey, Jeremy Fernandez. Hey, how you doing? I got a product. I got a product I want to tell you about. It's called Gamer's Hip Clip.

There's no apostrophe in there, so it's just Gamer's Plural Hip Clip. Okay. Its full title is not Gamer's Hip Clip, though. Its full title is Gamer's Hip Clip. You can still chat when you grab a snack. Wait, okay. What do I do with a gamer's hip clip? Okay.

I want to manufacture my prototype and the money I'm asking for is the manufacturing, packaging, and marketing of my project, the gamer's hip clip. Oh, shit. Okay. When kids lay their eyes on this product, millions will want one, I hope. Thanks, everyone.

You know, this guy's enthusiasm is infectious. Yes, I hope. Thanks, everyone! This guy's enthusiasm is infectious. Yes, I'm in. I like how he's already thanking the millions of people he assumes will want his product. Thank you, theoretical children. Alright, what is the purpose of it?

Oh, the purpose of the invention? Is that what you're asking for? That's cool, I got you. Gamer's Hip Clip is designed to allow a gamer to quickly and easily attach their controller to their hip so their hands are free when other tasks are needed. Look it up. Sure. Yeah, you follow me. The product enables the individual

I'm using technical terms like individual now to remain in the game verbally via the headset while affording the user the ability to answer the door, retrieve food, and more! But all of these things, like, require me to use my mouth for other things that I want to take my headset off for anyway.

No, you answer the door and say, fucking kill him! What are you doing? Stop camping! Oh, hello. You wanted to talk to me about Jesus? Just in the middle of a Halo game. Hey, wait up, guys! Hey, pizza! I ordered you! I'm so glad you came!

So, the device attaches to the hip area and is able to accommodate a wide variety of controllers! It's a fuck it. Yeah. Eliminates the need to set down the controller, God forbid! What a fucking horrible thought! It eliminates the need to set down the controller and remove the headset during an interruption in play. Consumers will appreciate the convenience that the product affords.

Normally I just hide the controller in the fold between my breast and my stomach. Yeah, but then that'll push the analog forward and your character starts running. No, you're right. That happens all the time. They do make the Bluetooth headsets for games. Nope. Shut up. Hip clip.

Alright, let me tell you about the problems that the invention solves. Okay, when playing a video game that requires a controller and headset, it is necessary to take off the headset and set down the controller in order to perform certain tasks. I'm talking about masturbating. I don't see how all this is necessary information. I understand how the product works. Okay, look.

Controllers and headsets often get damaged when they are left lying around. It is also a nuisance to walk back and forth in order to retrieve the controller. What is it? Somebody should introduce this guy to WoW. Because the headset is attached to the controller, individuals often have to break verbal contact with other players when they put down the controller. A more efficient option is needed. I can't talk to my Halo buddies, man!

Okay, and then the next paragraph is just you repeating the same thing over again. Let me illustrate my point for you. You no longer have to put this thing down. I can't go get Doritos unless I'm being called a faggot while I do it. I don't care. I'm going to give you money. Just let me know what I'll get for giving you money. Okay.

The product is designed to work in conjunction with controllers of different types and brands. The exact specifications may vary. Description of drawing. Broken link. Figure one. Shows the control clip. And the headset in place. Broken link figure two.

Shows the clipping mechanism. Figure three. Shows how the battery back is attached. Figure four. Shows how the device can be attached to the waistband belt and pocket. Figure five. Shows the controller attached to the hip. You can see this all in this broken link.

It's probably good for him that they're broken, because now people can't just make their own. Here's a step-by-step instruction on how to make your very own. Yeah, like they're going to be able to get the funding for a prototype on that one. All right, now I bet you're wondering how much I need for the prototype for the gamer's hip clip. It can't be too much. It's a reasonable number, man. Oh, my God. Okay, look.

Okay, look. What I need, all I need, all I need is $50,000. Okay, all right. I'll help you out. That's all I need, $50,000. Just let me know. Say if I wanted to donate, I don't know, $1,000 or more. Yeah, look, if you donated $1,000 or more, you'd get a bunch of other shit that I talked about.

Oh, wait, what? No, no, no, no, no, no, look, down the list, it says what you get if you pledge a certain amount. And he's got an amazing one for each amount if you pledge one or more, 15 or more. All of those need to be read. Yeah, more. All of those need to be read. Yeah, I think all of these need to be read. Alright, you want to know what gets if you give me a dollar? Yes, yes. You will know

you helped the single father get an awesome idea off the ground. And be part of something a regular dad gamer and son gamer came up with. Not a major corporation, smiley face, plus we will thank you on our website and Facebook, which I see links to neither

of them. I'll give away your personal information on Facebook. So once we're successful, and that's W-E-R-E successful, you can tell your friends you are part of video game history.

Oh, shit. I ain't telling my friends about this. I like the idea of 50,000 separate people sending him a dollar and him having to go and thank 50,000 people on Facebook. Okay, if you get up to 15 bucks, you get all that other shit I mentioned and your name on the final product. Okay, it's getting better. Excellent. All right, now if you give me $25, you get all that other shit I mentioned, and your name on the final product. Okay, it's getting better.

Excellent. All right, now if you give me $25, you get all that other shit, plus you'll get one of the first finished products, Gamer's Hip Clip. All right, finally. So that's like the limited edition. You get the closest one.

You get me less money than that. You don't get the thing that you're donating for. What if I double that? Oh, yeah, $ don't get the thing that you're donating for. What if I double that? Oh yeah, 50 bucks. Alright, now you're talking. You get all the other shit I mentioned, plus a signed photo of me and my son. Wow. Yes. We'll both sign it.

Holy shit, I'll frame it. Sorry about my dad. Love, Gary. Alright, for every $25 you order, you get another gamer's hip clip. $25, you get one gamer's hip clip. $50, you get two gamer's hip clip.

$100, you get four gamer hip clip. Wow, it's like you're saving $0 by buying in bulk. And they have to autograph each one. There's limited editions, of course. You know what? I'm going to give you $100. What do I get for that?

Oh, $100? Man, you're going to get all that shit I talked about plus a limited edition gamer's hip clip. What makes it a limited edition? Shut your fucking face! Okay, okay, I'm gonna up poor text really big here. $500. What do I get?

$500?! Alright, you get all that shit, plus you get to vote on color and marketing schemes for the Gamer's Hip Clip! So you have a say in the company, Gamer Power! Oh god, I wanted some Gamer Power. So for $500, you get the right to vote on what

color it is yeah i want blue fuck you it's red what if i'm what if i'm a high roller what if i'm one of those whales what do i get for let's say uh a grand a thousand dollars now you're talking man if i only had 50 people like you... There's only 20 limited rewards. I only need 50 people to give me $1,000, and I'm set. All right, you get all that shit I talked about before, and, you know, one of them is a photo of me, so that's pretty cool. Plus, you get a signed, by me, a signed limited edition Gamer's Hip clip, a personal thank you on your package.

Wow. So on the UPS box, I'll go, thanks, dude. And a personal handwritten thank you. Again, thanks, dude. Oh, oh, but one more thing. One more thing. I'll sweeten that pot for you, motherfucker. Alright. You'll get a VIP

invitation to an all-night game and frenzy Location Unknown. You've gotta find one yourself. What kind of game in the Phantom Zone? Yes. So for $1,000, I get to hang out in a skunky living room with some single

dad and his kid playing video games all night. It's like a 4 a.m., okay, I think it's time to go home. It's all night, motherfucker! Where the fuck are you going? You put your controller on your hip clip! I just want to hold it in my hands! No, you're going to play it on your hip clip, goddammit! I designed this shit so that you can play it while it's belted to your belt.

No, don't use your signed limited edition hip clip. That shit's one of a kind. Okay, okay, okay. That shit's supposed to go on your mantle, dammit! Okay, okay, with all that, I mean, that's a pretty good sell. He's giving you a lot of nice extras. What's the totals here? How many backers you got?

All right, once again, I'm looking for $50,000. Okay. All right. That's what I'm looking for, $50,000. I got that part. How many people? $50,000. So far, as of now, right now when I'm speaking, I have gotten $5.

Oh. Okay. From how many people back you? Oh. Well, hang on. Hang on. You didn't ask me how much time was left. Okay, from how many people back then? Oh. So. Well, hang on. Hang on. You didn't ask me how much time was left.

Okay, yeah, maybe you have a little time. You know, tell people how much time you got left. Okay, there are zero seconds left. Because. And it says under it. Well, the funding was unsuccessful. It reached its deadline. No gamer's hip clip.

Goddammit, how am I going to attach my controller to my hip? It's never going to happen. I use duct tape myself. Seven people like this on Facebook. But not enough to give him money. Yeah, you have one backer and seven people like that. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Eight people like this on Facebook. I was about to say, they probably like it for the same reason you do. Ten. All right. All right. Are we on to Winter Forever? Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, yeah. Winter Forever is a short and sweet one. Yeah, it's pretty great. All right. Who gets it? I could do it. All right. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, Winter Forever is a short and sweet one. Yeah, it's pretty great. Alright, who gets it? I could do it. Alright, yeah, I think you should do it. Hey, guys.

Hey, what's up? Hi, my name's Matthew Angelo. Okay. I'm Matthew Angelo. I want to talk about my product. Okay. What is your product? Sorry, just let me get ready.

You feel a little phlegmy? I want to get published. Oh! Okay. Uh-huh. Getting published by a traditional publisher is difficult at best, and the royalties are horrible, not to mention, first-time author isn't given much support.

So I have started my own publishing company. Have you? I need the money to launch the first book. Actually, you haven't started your own publishing company if you have yet to publish a book. Yeah. Whoa. That's like saying I've started a bank, but I don't have any customers yet.

But theoretically, I could loan people money. Well, you can be a game designing filmmaker without actually making a game. I already have distributors lined up for the e-book and physical book distribution. I just need the money to get going. You mean that you have Amazon.com? You need e-book distributors? Really?

Yeah. So yeah, there we go. That's all I have to say about my product. Oh, alright. So, nothing about the book? Nope. There's a picture of an elf, so presumably you're doing... Clearly stolen from a Dungeons & Dragons manual.

Yeah. Quality. Okay, so you want to get published. Yeah, I need $500. Jesus. You know, compared to the $50,000 for Gamers Hip Clip, that just makes it seem sane. How... Right, so okay.

So let me tell you, you know, let me give you some incentive here. Okay, sure. Okay, alright. If you pledge $5 or more, you'll get a bookmark featuring the main character. Is the main character the thing that you just stole from a Dungeons & Dragons manual? I don't know. Seeing as how we know nothing about the book,

we can't tell. I haven't even come up with a premise. He just wants it published. Like, it might be a fantasy book. It might be a crime novel. It could just be a ripped off John Grisham book I don't know Okay

Pledge $10 or more He'll get a 12x8 poster Featuring the main character Again TBD But alright Pledge $20 or more You'll get an EPUB version of the book For your e-reader.

Is it signed? Is it a signed e-reader copy? Alright, add $5 to that so if you pledge $25 or more, you'll get an autographed copy of the book. Ooh, that's eBay fodder right there. Yep, yep. What about $50 or more?

$50, you get a bookmark, a 12x18 poster, an EPUB copy, and an autographed copy of the book. Wait, so all the shit above? Yes. Yeah. All right. I should tell you a bit about myself. Should you? I'm a photographer slash writer in the northern Colorado area.

I love photography and the outlet it gives me to express myself and my creativity. I always carry my camera. The urge to express myself and my creativity. I always carry my camera. The urge to create runs through my veins. This is going to be a photo book. It's going to be a coffee table book. The main character is this flower. The art of this book that hasn't even been made yet. That picture says a thousand words.

That having been said, here are 28 pictures in a book We now have until January 29, 2011 to reach my goal of $500 To the time machine, Marty And as of today, which is August 16, 2011 which is seven months past Anyway I've received 230 promised pledge dollars from six backers.

So what is the recourse for something that lapses? Can you just put it up again and put a new deadline? I don't know, because honestly, I would love to taunt these guys by just coming in there right at the end and giving them like $1 short. Bid sniping for the Kickstarter. This guy's got zero likes on Facebook. Uncensored Party Game is a pretty good one. Alright.

Yay, that's what I found. I helped find it. Alright, the Uncensored Party Game. What do you got? Uncensored Party Game by Mike Reich. Uncensored, the party game of shouting obscenities. I play that game all the time. I've compiled the most obscene words and embellished

each one with politically correct artwork for your own enjoyment. In this game, each player is stamped with one of these improper words, which would be totally inappropriate in almost any other situation. However, I've created a game that generates an environment that turns vulgarity into a socially acceptable fun time. He has four cards. By cussing out your friends and family.

I'm a winner every day. Man, I win every wedding I've ever attended. The game has three intensifying rounds of play, so hilarious you'll swear you never had so much fun. I can't imagine that's true. Where's the money going? The game has a full prototype. It is ready for print

but just needs the funds to produce the first run of the game. Through the support of Kickstarter and money raised from selling promotional t-shirts, I plan to print the first 1,000 copies. The money will pay for the printing and artists. Rewards. Be one of the first to own this outrageously

fun game. And or receive a t-shirt featuring artwork from the game. See images below. Do you want me to do the money stuff or the, what do you get for... Actually, what I'd like to focus on instead is the Gameroonie website, which looks awful, but it does have a reviews section.

I would like... Jimmy Franks, do you want to be frickin' Frankie? Sure. Frickin' Jimmy Franks. Tell me what you thought of this game. Uncensored is a game invented by Mike Reich, which brings fun to any group hangout. Uncensored is a game invented by Mike Reich, which brings fun to any group hangout.

Uncensored calls upon people to recall a single person selected word before the other person remembers yours. You must be completely on your game. My favorite part of the game

is what actually comes out of people's mouths when you're trying to get the word out in a fast time. People say the funniest and strangest things when trying to win their little battle.

Uncensored is a game which makes wasting time or any hangout session the most fun. The closing take. The closing part of that. Frankie, male, 21 years old. Oh, that was a personals ad.

They all say it, though. I wanted to briefly give you Nick's... Is it Naughty Nick or Neat Nick? Naughty Nick. Yeah, Naughty Nick. There is a Neat Nick down at the bottom. Oh, there's a Neat Nick as well. It's like the goofus and galant of Nick's. I'm thinking like Jekyll and Hyde.

I become naughty Nick when I have this potion. All right. So I want to tell you my thoughts on this game. Well, my friend Mike first told me about Uncensored, and I had no idea what it was. He explained it to me, and I thought it was different. In a world of diversity, similarity is very common, ironic, and unusual. Uncensored had an avant-garde appeal.

No, it didn't. You don't know what that word means. Uh, means perhaps not for all tastes, but nonetheless exhilarating. all tastes, but nonetheless exhilarating. The artwork of the cards, and the truth and play on the words in each one was enough to entertain soon into the game, regardless

of your social class or upbringing. But I'm an untouchable. Will I enjoy this game? Might, yes. You will. You will find yourself screaming words like pussy and dyke and you have a good time.

No, I won't. Tourette's, the game. Uncensored is a game for parties, anniversaries, birthdays, and any time you don't want to remember your manners. Yeah, like anniversaries. Yeah. And birthdays.

Boots, you should take the other Nick. Okay. Because I feel like he enjoys it a little bit too much. Hi, I'm Neat Nick. Hi, Neat Nick. Uncensored, the card game is a loud and uproariously fun good time to spend with friends.

At times it can be enjoyably naughty, and other times it can be very nerve-wracking when your cards seem to be piling up in front of you, or it can be a bit of a brain teaser once you've realized the only dirty word you've remembered is your own. Uncensored offers

a lot of different things to its players, but most of all, it delivers a motherfucking good time to all. Bitch. Thanks, Jesse. Warning, do not attempt to play after curfew slash bedtime. People will be woken up. Are you kids playing Uncensored down there? Fuck no. Warning, do not attempt to play after curfew slash bedtime. People will be woken up.

Are you kids playing Uncensored down there? Fuck no. Motherfucking no. Wiener. Well, I'd like to read the latest one. And strangely enough, this person has the same last name as the guy making the game. That's weird. He looks all accutely old enough to be his dad, but I don't think he is.

Well, that might be the case. Well, my name is R.J. Raish, and I had the opportunity to play Michael's game. Uncensored! At a New Year's Eve party. There was a group of about 10 people playing, ranging in age from 20 to 50. I am 47 myself. Typically, we would play a few different games, but we enjoyed... Uncensored! ...so much, we played it several times instead of playing anything different.

I personally enjoyed the game very much and laughed until tears were running down my face on numerous occasions. I wish Mike a luck in pursuing the sale of... Uncensored! ...R.J. Raish, male 47. My dad thinks I'm cool. Son, I got over when you got out of the closet This is nothing Do you want to do Love Notes clothing line?

Yeah, I think I think Love Notes is for Jimmy Franks Yeah, pretty great Okay, alright Love Notes, inspire, motivate A fashion project in Canoga Park, California, by Christian. There are many times in life where it seems too difficult to continue. Financial hardship, relationship problems, medical ailments, or even emotional distress.

Life is a tricky game that we must learn to maneuver. Okay. Okay. Okay. I just like to point out that I found this by searching for Christian Game, and I'm so glad I came to this. Love Notes is a clothing line that is meant to inspire us to always keep our head up and unlock the true potential that lies within us all.

Trendy, affordable, and powerful. Is this a car now? What the hell? The Love Notes clothing line is a triple threat that is both marketable and personal. I'm an actress, singer, and a dancer, and a t-shirt! You know, when you're going

from like, you know, hippy-dippy love speak to marketing speak, you might want to hit the clutch first because that was just jarring. Just throw the brakes out. As trendy of a shirt line that it may be, its message is simply to not be afraid, and yes, you can. With all the things out there that advertise the pursuit of money drugs, sex and alcohol love notes, it's a breath of fresh air

advertising the beauty of the life we are given and to take advantage of all the opportunity it gives us no matter who we are especially if our name is Christian and we are selling t-shirts the best part about this shirt is that it's marketable Christian and we're selling t-shirts. The best part about this shirt is that it's marketable.

There's a jack kick when you need a little buy shirt. All these fucking people are obsessed with money. Anyway. I walked out the door and I noticed people wearing shirts. Many times you'll see graphic tees that are overdone or have too much clutter on it that it isn't feasible in the market. What?

I just want to point out that his designs are pretty much a block of text that take up the entire front or back. I'm really kind of disappointed that they all use the same font. They use different capitalization rules, but just the one font. Love Notes, however, was created with a mass production mindset, quick to print, and an easily conveyed message. It's expensive to print something that has all that much color on just the Photoshopped galaxy in the background.

Yeah, but at least it looks good. So you're in? So you're going to donate? Yeah. How much are you looking for? Oh, well, I don't know. I was thinking about $4,000. Sure.

I guess you need to print up fucking t-shirts and start a company, no less. Yeah. How close are you? Well, you mean as of today? As of today, yeah. Well, I got five backers and $106.

Sure. So you do actually have a $1 backer. That's fun. Yeah. Okay, so you're a mere $3,894 away. Yeah, but I got a good feeling about this. Well, good. Let's go directly from your sort of hippy-dippy shit about your t-shirts.

Just want to tell me a little bit. I don't know. Just tell me something personal, something from your blog. Well, if you check my blog, Chris Image House on Tumblr, my mom is on my fucking nerves. So, yes, they call me Chris. I'm a sophomore at CSU Northridge. I'm 18 and bisexual.

Really bisexual. Why is it underlined? When did you graduate? Hold on a second. Yes, I graduated from the

graduating class of 04, 07, 11, and 14. What do you make? Oh,

you're a lifer. What do you make? I make, I make gifts, rants,

and art. Dance, piano, singing, color guard, graphic design, and poetry. Oh, and Love Notes t-shirts.

Right. This dude is a renaissance man. Okay, I'm sorry. I interrupted you talking about your... whatever that was. Your mom, I guess. My mom was on my fucking nerves. Say the title again.

I want to try something. My mom was on my fucking nerves Love notes So apparently I have to be in a limbo state Of don't grow up but grow up She literally went on tirade That contradicted herself I'm supposed to get a job to pay my bills

But I'm supposed to not be out after ten. Those two things can't, they're exclusive. Wait, you have like three bachelor's degrees and a curfew? I'm supposed to remember my responsibilities, but I'm supposed to remember them faster than she gets to them or else I'm in trouble.

So basically I'm supposed to do everything, but do the opposite. Makes complete'm in trouble. So basically I'm supposed to do everything but do the opposite. Makes complete sense. Sure. So if I'm barely getting out of my car and you see the gate's not closed, I should be yelled at, okay. Ha ha. And then she goes into a tirade about school. Ha ha.

I just wanted to read the title of a T-shirt. I found a T-shirt here, which is the slogan is, all you have to believe all you have to do is believe in the impossible and there's another one that says you are beautiful don't let anyone tell you otherwise alright continue

haha and then she goes into a tirade about school you have one absent OMG alert the media then there's a whole senior class who has like at, at least eight. Oh, but I'm not supposed to talk about other kids when you can interrogate me about what colleges they went to that talked down on me because I chose to be sensible

and because I didn't get into the fancy schools. Total sense. Oh, and better yet, if I had even gone to those schools, you would have just bitched some more because they're so expensive. Sometimes movement is the only way to express yourself. Take the chance and leap towards the sky. Love notes. What was the next tirade?

Oh, about laundry and dishes and that shit. So, I took the clothes out when you told me to, when you put the timer, then you're gonna yell at me cause summer's still wet. But at the same time, you do the same shit to me? Wow, totally fair. Oh, and I leave one dish in the sink.

And all of a sudden, it's like I forced you to wash the Titanic. First of all, I clean in bulk so that we don't waste water. But you can't be patient enough to wait until after dinner to let me wash it. Walk tall when they think you're at your lowest. Got too many places to be To let negativity affect me Is that it? Actually, just give me what the three tags were

That you assigned to this post Rant Underappreciation And fuck this post. Oh, uh, rant. Yeah, sure. Under appreciation. Right. And fuck this. Love notes. Love notes. Okay.

Alright, what do you have for us, John? Well, my book is called... Wait, why are you using fat voice? I have no idea. I don't know. That makes no sense. I know. It's a weird choice, I know, but I'm going with it.

My thing is called Chaos Unending. It's a book of dark poetry. Well, tell me. Sorry. I will be finishing my book of poetry and hope to spark a new interest in the genre.

I want to be the Stephen King of poetry. I don't think I have it in me to read poems that long. My poems will go off on long tangents about mucus and descriptions of mundane things. I've never read a fat poem before, but I'm really looking forward to it. Every poem will start a special needs child with superpowers

in Maine. And bacon. Also, there'll be something haunted. What are you going to do with the money when I give it to you? The money is to self-publish, distribute, and promote the book when it's done.

Alright, fuck, I'm sold. I'm sold. I'm going to give you $1,000. $1,000? What does he get for $1,000? What does that man get for $1,000? Well, thank you for being so generous. I will write a poem dedicated to you, a mention, and a signed copy.

Wait, what's your profile under that, Chris? My name is Chris and I'm in Tinley Park, Illinois and here's my poem. I was born, I lived, I shall die.

Wow, deep. Can I do Vanessa advice you? Don't you want to hear how I've done it? Find out how this project did. God damn it. Well, I have

zero backers. And how much money have you gotten from those zero backers? Zero people have given me zero dollars. And I won 5,000. Chris, I have a question. For your top five mythological creatures that you like, could you just list five through two and then talk about one? Don't read the text, but just list the five mythological creatures

that you like. Oh, well, thank you. This is a subject I know a lot about. I'll tell you about it. Number five is vampires. And I point out, not those stupid Twilight vampires, the real vampires. Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. What else?

Number four is orcs slash goblins. Because they're the same thing. I cheated a bit on that one, I know, but it's my list, so shut up. Well, you know, top five looks a little bit better than top six, so it's fine. We'll give you that. It's cool. Believe it or not, number three is dragons.

You'd think that'd be higher. That is surprising. I'm gonna guess... Wait, what else do you like on t-shirts? Number two, werewolves. I imagine that the wolves on my airbrushed shirt looking at the moon are actual werewolves. It's the only shirt that fits me anymore. And guys, listen up. What's your number one top mythological creature that you like?

A beautiful girl that cooks and cleans. Am I right, guys? Fuck you. Boo. Thanks for listening to my chaotic rambling. This guy was so likable up until then. Please be the first to like this post. All right. All right. Please be the first to like this post. Alright.

Alright, I want to deal with some political satire. Okay, so there's a donkey sitting on a pile of aborted fetuses. And he's like, I'm going to raise taxes. Wow. Capital steps went hardcore. Alright, Jimmy Franks, you want to do it? Yeah, I do. I do.

I like from the preview image in the video, it just looks like it's a shirt that says, Bam! Bam! What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck, man? What the fuck? What the fuck?

What the fuck? What the fuck? That's a way better t-shirt. All right. This is the, this is my red WTF and blue political t-shirt. By Mark Parslow, Chicago, Illinois. Alright. Well, I'm

already... I don't know. It seems like I'm not really very excited about your project. Just another t-shirt supporting politicians! You must not have paid attention until the end of the video. I actually did not. Sorry, Mark. You, you got me. I didn't.

And due to popular demand, I have revised the shirt to have larger lettering to make it easier to read. Hi there, fellow Kickstarters. Hi. My name is Mark, and I'm fed up with the current state of politics. Oh, yeah? What? With insane gas prices, jihad, global climate change, giant solar flares, we irrigate the terrible economy and everything else.

Did I mention that I live in Chicago? Solar flares are political? Yes. I can barely concentrate on a job search. What? Is there anything else you want to add? Oh yes, I'm unemployed at the moment too. Oh, you don't say. So what am I going to do about it?

I don't know. I'll tell you. I'm going to get informed on the issues, read our constitution, study upon the candidates, and vote. If you order my t-shirt, I will send it to you along with my thanks because we are all pretty frustrated and we want to make a statement. Okay. Oh, go ahead. I don't understand. Thanks, poor Dex.

What am I going to do about it? I'm going to ask you to give me money. What the fuck? He also said, I'm really pissed off. I'm really pissed off about the current state of politics. What am I going to do about it? Well,

I'm going to read our constitution. One of these days, I'm going to get around to it, man. I've already located a printer here in the states that can produce all the shirts and mugs for me after the close of this project.

If things are going well and a lot of you support this project, I can start the order early. It takes two weeks to get the order processed, so they gotta ship it to me and send them out sooner. I'm not gonna make a lot of money on this project. My goal is to sell about 200 shirts, but if I sell 2,000 shirts, all the better! The more we order, the cheaper the printing gets, so I can upgrade to a higher quality T-shirt. Okay. Yeah. I'm just going to skip ahead here.

Please tell all your friends about this project. In only the last three weeks, I am ending it at midnight on July 4th. Oh, patriotic. Oh, yes. And in case you missed it, I have a better picture of the frying print on the shirt at the link below. If you click on it, you will see what I'm talking about. And the link below is redwtfandblue.com.

In case you didn't get it, it says WTF, which stands for what the fuck. One thing we did skip over I would like to point out is that the orders totaling with orders totaling 200 to 499 t-shirts they're going to be on white Hanes t-shirts but they're H-A-Y-N-E-S Hanes so it's just some dude named Hanes t-shirts steal Hanes t-shirts and make them

into these shirts you bury the story there because he says that if we end up with orders totaling less than 200 they will be printed on a generic white t-shirt You buried the story there because he says that if we end up with orders totaling less than $200, they will be printed on a generic white t-shirt. Oh, okay. If we get more than $200, it will be on a white Hanes t-shirt. Then we're stealing from Hanes.

But if we get $500 or more, we're going America, USA, high-quality white t-shirts made right here in the States. That's right! USA as long as it's economically convenient. You want to know what you get for a dollar? Yeah, what do I get for a dollar? My sincere gratitude goes out to all of you for

helping support this project. I get sincerity for a dollar? That's pretty project. I think it's sincerity for a dollar. That's pretty good. Hey, it's a capital G gratitude. Ooh, that's nice too. Do you know what you get for $250? Yeah, what? A dozen t-shirts!

And a dozen mugs! And say what the fuck, Obama! So when you're talking about how much you hate, like, oh, he's a socialist, blah, blah, blah, blah. By the way, you give me money. I like that it says you need to specify the shirt size. No, you don't. You know it's XL.

Are you actually going to print up non-XL? That is way too small, dude. That's like 4Xs at least. I don't think this would fit on a less than XL t-shirt. All right. I want to give you a good number. I want to give you $1 number. I want to give you $1,776

because I feel like that pays it. What will you do for me? Well, I'm glad you asked about that. I'm going to handwrite a copy of the U.S. Constitution. Using a I just spit out my water at that idea. I'm going to handwrite a copy of the U.S. Constitution using a quill pen and ink and parchment paper.

I'm going to send it to you. One with a dozen shirts and a dozen mugs. It's going to take a little while longer. My handwriting is not as nice as that of our founding fathers. But I'll make sure it is legible. This is amazing. This will be the original without any of the amendments. Now, I want to point out that I hope between you writing out the Constitution

because you haven't read the Constitution as of now. Yeah, he hasn't done it yet. I'm going to get around to it. I've been busy. Alright, how much are you looking for? Oh, you know... I was hoping for $17.76.

Oh, sure. So that donation will put you right there. Very symbolic. That'd be great. That'd be great. How close are you? Oh, I got about

1,017.36 to go. $40. $40? $40? Yeah, $40. Oh, that's all right. How much time do you have left? Oh, it's funny.

You know, 4th of July is 2011. Okay, so. It was the deadline. So you have two months ago left. Well, yeah. He only gave himself three weeks to get $1,776 because he really wanted that

deadline to be July 4th. Right, yeah, yeah. It's the birthday of this great nation of ours. What better way to celebrate it than... What the fuck? And there we go. The Web 2.0 equivalent of got a dollar. John, what did you learn this week?

I learned that the Internet gives everybody a chance.0 equivalent of got a dollar. John, what did you learn this week? I learned that the Internet gives everybody a chance, and I'm glad about that, especially because it gives people who are supposed to fail a chance to. That's true. You know, that's actually very true. You know, we hear about the Secretariats and the Rockies and the, oh, I don't know, the Larry Flints of the world. Sure. The ones that, you know, went against adversity and hit it big and strived and worked towards that.

And those make good Hollywood stories, and they make good scripts for good characters. So that's why they're going to have a freaking Disney movie made after them. Yeah. But then? Yeah, but then. Exactly. It's the, you know, for every one of those stories, there's a hundred stories of, I want to start a podcast. for every one of those stories there's a hundred stories of um i want to start a podcast i want my band i want five thousand dollars for my band to keep going and they fail and they should

yeah nice to see it's nice to have a place to see those because usually that that used to just happen like some guys try to start a garage band he failed no record of it besides maybe a crappy vhs filmed out of said garage now that shit's on the internet you can just see it and look at it and we can read it and it's great it is it is pretty great you know it was only by selective editing um that all of our uh that all of our select segments um did fail and i will i will give kickstarter credit that that i think that there's there's genuine use for it and i think that there's genuine use for it. And I think that there's genuine... I can see points.

I mean, especially if you had something that's just not profitable. And if you just sort of needed a little bit of money to keep that going. I can see it. I don't necessarily approve, but I can still appreciate it. But then there's all of these other situations where it's like... It's just this weird entitlement of like, give me money. No! Why the fuck am I giving you money? And then you

get to see that failure actually happen. And I think, you know, like I said about those movies and those stories, they seem like they're a nice inspirational lesson. You know, I think there's a good thing to be said for anti-inspiration. I think there's a good thing to be said to show people, yay, if your idea is stupid and you don't want to stick with it and you just want to say

hey, give me money to do this, then you should fail. And that's the way things should work. Here's some examples. That's right, that's right. You know, along with being taught the American dream, you also need to be taught the American waking life. Yes, the American disillusionment or as I like to call it, the gamer's hip clip

of America. Our website is always thefpl.us. We don't want your money. We just want you to like us on Facebook and leave comments. Oh, and submit content because that's what we do as transactions. The money, we'll pay for it. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

Exactly. And we'll see you next week. Thank you for listening. And by the way, before we go, Lemon, I just want to ask everybody, could they just send me like $5 a day? I got this thing going on. No, no, no.

Damn it, damn it. Where's my money, man? I'm gonna take $7. Let me get my money. Where's my money? I'm gonna take your money. Your stomach is on fire. Where's my money?

Where's my money? Where's my money? Where the hell's my money? Where the hell's my money? Where the hell's my money? Where the hell's my money? Where the hell's my money? The guy's going to be like, man. He's going to be like, oh yeah, 2012, the year of the hip clip. He's coming back! Man, he's going to get so many people

liking this on Facebook, and then he's going to come back and just be like, where did all these people come from? And he's going to hear the episode. I've sold all my shit so I can make these things! When we get this turned into a TV show, it can be sponsored by hip clip. Brought to you by HipClip!

And then this guy will sign the show. It'll be Gamers HipClip Presents F+. And we'll have to subtly plug the HipClip throughout the podcast. I don't think that'll be a problem. I think we're going to end up doing this in future episodes. I think we should just say that it's our sponsor every week. Jimmy, can you make a new commercial

for M Plus Live? Brought to you by Gamer's Hip Clip. You're welcome, Jeremy Fernandez. Thanks, man! I could be the flustered guy who gets solved, like, his problem solved by the problem.

Oh, my controller, it broke. Tired of trying to put your controller in your pocket, and it's just falling out. Sorry, guys, I can't talk to you for three seconds. I have to go answer the door. If you're like me, and most gamers, you wear sweatpants

all the time so you don't have pockets. But you need to keep your controller with you at all times. My name is John. Most of my controllers kept breaking on

my mom's concrete floor when I went up to go get food. Now they don't. Thank you, Gamers Hip Clip.