The F Plus - 60: The Best Crowning Podcast of Awesome Greatness

Episode Date: September 18, 2011

The Austrian-born philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein contended that a man could never truly know the mind of any other man. His belief was that language and thought are just too dissimilar in concept that to use one to explain the other is at best insufficent and at worst a fruitless excercise. Now it's about 70 years later, and we've all learned how to say “it's just like that one Star Trek episode.” TV Tropes is a community that defines and catalogues the shortcuts used in modern fiction, but this week, The F Plus is going to learn a little bit about these TV Tropers, and why so many of them are so gosh darn terrific.

Warhammer 40,000 can make anything awesome. Anyway, you're just drowning in ellipses right now. Hey there, this is the F Plus Podcast. My name's Lemon. And I'm John. And today we're going to be introducing you to the people responsible for TV tropes. That is, not the people responsible for the tropes themselves, but the people who spend all their time writing about these tropes. I see what you're doing here. This is the intro dump.

What? What does that mean? You're showing a trope in real life. It's the intro dump trope where somebody takes a bunch of information and puts it right at the front. That's what you're doing right now. No, it's the beginning of the podcast.

I'm trying to explain to these people what the point of this episode is. Exactly, and that's an intro dump. You're doing a trope in real life. No, I'm not doing a trope. Yes, you are. I'm absolutely not doing a trope. I'm doing something else completely.

What I'm doing is trying to introduce the content of this podcast to the people so that they'll know what the podcast is about. That's all. Well, you know what this is? This is a suspiciously specific denial right here. Oh, you dirty motherfucker. You are denied. Well, it's a trope where somebody denies something very specifically and suspiciously.

You know, just hitting it right on the head there with what you're denying. You see, this is actually what I wanted to introduce TV Tropes is a site where they sort of talk about recurring themes that happen in largely nerdy fiction, sci-fi, video games, and that sort of thing. But then there's a whole separate section called Troper Tales, where people describe their own lives in such a way as how it ties into, you know, different pieces of fiction. And it's very self-aggrandizing and horrible. Exactly. And, yeah, as I've shown, and as how to do it right, which is how I did it, you can basically take these tropes that are usually applied to movies and books and, well, not really books usually, but movies and anime and video games.

Those are graphic novels. There you go, graphic novels. And you apply them to your real life. Like, let's say one trope is like, ah, super badass character or something like that. Well, you can say, yeah, I was really badass one time, so I'm that trope. That's the type of stories we're talking about here, folks.

We were talking about people in a very Mary Sue situation talking about their own lives And it's going to hurt a little bit Sorry about that Alright, let's get to the readers Ah, the move it along, nothing to see here trope It's very good

Oh god, stop it! In the room tonight we have Isfahan. This trooper is loved and admired in the place that this trooper lives. No, really. Portax. This trooper once saw a rock. It was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Stog.

This trooper won in a video game, once upon a time. Boots rain gear! This trooper wants attention. John! This trooper beat up the bully that made fun of him all his life and that bully's name was God! And Lemon. This trooper has a stain in his underwear. It's really cute!

What, is it shaped like a Pikachu? And Lemon. This troper has a stain in his underwear. It's really cute! What, is it shaped like a Pikachu? Who's bad? Dark is not evil. Yeah, dark is not evil is a trope that is about how devilish characters don't have to be evil. And this is my story. This user is a kind of a jerk. Flipping off salesmen

using Death Glare with Reckless Abandon to get people to move, and occasionally just running down underclassmen with a rolling backpack. Death Glare? Death Glare, huh? Alright. Wears fairly dark clothing, green, dark grey, and occasionally black

if I'm in a bad mood. Except for my trademark silver jacket. That coat's been through three JROTC camps and four hunting seasons without taking any serious damage. It may very well outlive me. So I consider

it a good luck charm slash security item. And I hate people seeing my eyes, so I wear sunglasses on any day where it is not dark or rainy enough to render me nearly blind by doing so. But I don't hesitate to help the few people in this world whose existence I can actually tolerate

for more than five minutes. I also begin a sentence with and. Yeah. And will destroy anyone who messes with them in the most effective manner possible. I obey all laws, however. You can't help your friends if you're doing 20 years for kicking a bully in the genitals.

Do they put you in the slammer for 20 years for that? Yeah. I kick someone in the nuts. That's why I'm in jail. Being a douche does not make you evil. Ex-dead 64. See, nobody was arguing that being a douche made you evil. And also, at no point is this man a devil.

I don't think. Yeah, I love that. I wear black when I'm in a bad mood. I have a silver jacket. Like, I really that. I wear black when I'm in a bad mood. I have a silver jacket. Like, I really want to blow you. I can only tolerate a few people for more than five minutes. Nobody can tolerate me for more than five minutes. Okay, so a jerk with a heart of gold is someone who acts like an asshole but still has morals.

All right, here's a story of a jerk with a heart of gold. Yeah, I tend to snap at people, cause them death by snarkiness, and yell at them when they are undeserving of it, but most of my friends agree that I am a sweet girl. Oh. What? Wrong voice.

I am a sweet girl! I tend to apologize endlessly for this, which annoys half of them as much as the yelling does, and I am a tsundere. It depends on how well you know me of which type. Can you explain what a tsundere is? Tsundere is an anime term. It means a character that acts like a huge asshole,

but deep down is actually sensitive and sweet. Oh, so the exact definition of what we're talking about here. Well, yeah, kind of, but deep down is just like is actually sensitive and sweet. Oh, so the exact definition of what we're talking about here. Well, yeah, kind of, but this is... It's sort of like, it's more like someone who just acts like a jerk to cover up the fact that they're nice, whereas these are jerks who openly act nice. Think of,

think of, okay, dork moment here, but think of Helga from Hey Arnold. Definitely this troper. He is abrasive, rude, and unlikable in public, but enjoys kittens and puppies and actually cares about how people feel. These people talk in third fucking person. Well, everyone's anonymous,

so to talk about themselves, you have to say this person here. I mean, you can't say I, but whatever. I know. It's like a weird doublespeak that they have. If this is going to continue to be a problem for you, it's going to be a long night. Alright. Because for some reason, I and me, they brush up against no such thing as notoriety, and that's like taboo or something like that.

Fucking rules. Alright. This troper combines jerkass with grammar Nazi. It's quite possibly the worst combination one could get. I've been known to punch my best friends in the stomach over a tense

error or for no reason at all. Either or. You haven't made a tense error in a while, but you also have... Was that a tense error? Nope! Future tense. In the future, you'll make a tense error. I made a error about future tense? Yeah, okay.

Grammar punch fight. Should have stopped halfway through. My standard greeting with either is a glomp with bonus pressure. What's that mean? A really big hug is what they're trying to say. Or just a standard mauling. However, when their grammar is correct, or I just don't feel like it, I'm a pretty likable guy.

That was terrific grammar. That was really good. When their grammar is correct, or I just don't feel like it, I'm a pretty likable guy. That was terrific grammar. That was really good. When their grammar is correct, or I just don't feel like it, I'm a pretty likable guy. Right. Well done. My friends say I'm a nice guy, even while I'm mauling them though.

They're probably afraid you'll kill them. I like, ow! I like you so, ow! You're such a great, ah! It's 3am. Oh, I guess I take over now that... For mine, too. Yeah, go ahead.

Okay. This one I just liked because they link to about seven different TV tropes things. Makes sense. This troper is in a very good school, and his favorite weapon is the Cluster F-Bomb, followed by the Precision F-Strike, followed by If You Know What I Mean jokes, just like his Nakama,

which basically embodies the whole with friends like these tropes. Shut up, this all makes sense. It embodies the whole with friends like these tropes. Still, this troper and his buddies are all very nice people, unless you hit the Berserk button. That's when you see we're badass bookworm

and genius bruiser. Video game perks. I fucking don't make any sense to people who don't heavily view TV tropes. Negative four to charisma. Cluster F-bomb is saying fuck like five times in a sentence. No, it's at

once. Yeah, well, it's stupid because he says the two things he likes to use are cluster F-bomb and precision F-strike and I look those are Cluster F-Bomb and Precision F-Strike, and I looked those up, and Cluster F-Bomb is when you're just saying fuck constantly, and Precision F-Strike is when you never swear except for one time to show that the character's really serious. Oh, so you use both. Yeah, so it's just like, everyone will wear out their mouth as fuck.

Yeah, so he does Cluster F-Bomb and then the Precision F-Strike directly after it. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Yeah, so he does clusterfbomb and then the precision f-strike directly after it. So it's... Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, one is kind of funny, too, because a lot of the people just tell stories about, yeah, this one time I has said fuck. It's like, thanks for sharing. I said a fuck. Jesus Christ. Oh, okay, we all know what fingerless gloves are, right? Yep. That's a sexual position, right?

Unfortunately, no. I'm going to look it up. We're going to learn about some TV troopers that have fingerless gloves. I'm sure they're all huge badasses. Yeah. This trooper has three pairs of fingerless leather gloves. One normal pair, one with little air holes on the knuckles, and one with a bunch of studs on the top.

Do you wear them in layers? Usually you can find me wearing the studded ones all the time, because they're awesome. Not you're awesome. They're awesome. No, they're awesome. This troper has multiple pairs, including a pink and black striped pair with skulls on them.

Thanks, Tim Burton. All right. What? Cloud Cuckoo Lander. Yeah, Cloud Cuckoo Lander is the crazy character, the one that says, you know, non sequiturs and acts goofy and giggles a lot and sometimes says, here are the boners. That'll be $5.95.

That's me. Yeah. So these are a bunch of people who think that, oh, I'm one of those, I'm quirky and random. Oh, I bet these people won't be fucking irritating at all. Nope. I'm not irritating. All right. You're not forcing it, you're just being you.

I am under the illusion that I am a Disney princess. I can relate everything to Disney, Harry Potter, methods of rationality, and anything by Brandon Sanderson. Death Note. I talk to myself, introduce people to fictional characters, annoy myself, and constantly sing Disney songs. I also have really, really long hair, and I'm always reading. Oh.

I identify completely through pop culture. I'm random. This is what homeschool does. People are always trying to drown me. Alright. Once, when playing Ride or Die, I couldn't figure out what to

write next, so whoever I was writing about was suddenly typing in a tree and was thinking about how peculiar it is to be typing in a tree, and she also spontaneously thought of dragons, and then she fell out of the tree and hoped it wouldn't scar, but it was scarring already, whatever that means. Oh, whoa, getting meta up in here.

What the fuck? This troper feels that number five has different emotions depending on the manner you use to write it. That's silly. Yeah. Yeah. You see what they're doing, right?

They're being random in the part where they describe how random they are. Yeah. Pretty fun. Yeah, they're fun and silly. All right, Esfahan. Pretty fun. Yeah, they're fun and silly. Alright, it's fun.

This troper used to respond to many of his friends, mainly computer class, talking with fish from Comedity Webcomic, by the way. If you say so, I don't care. He stopped it now, though. Oh, good. But he still lapsed into weird walking now and then. Not as much as Minister of Silly Walks, but still pretty weird. You know what? I would fucking love you to just commit

to Minister of Silly Walks. At all times in your life. I would applaud you for that. Go ahead, do it. You gotta go all the way. This troper just posted an assignment to his color theory class that includes at least six references to Octarine

with no explanation whatsoever, including one cryptic reference after a paragraph about cone cells in the retina that goes simply, and don't even get me started on the octagons. Let's say this is a Discworld

reference. Oh, that's... A couple of days ago, he went out into his living room and stood stock still for several seconds, pointing at the cat lying on the floor. When his roommate asked him to get something while he was up, he replied,

Shh, I'm pointing at the kitty. He once spent half an hour at a party, preaching to two young women about the glory of Azathoth, the blind idiot god. Neither converted. The list goes on. I like how he saw two women and his initial response was,

Yay, I get to talk about Lovecraft to someone. The indescribable asshole. This is assuming like half this stuff even actually happens. Yeah, oh yeah. Why would you brag about this? Because it's anonymous and you're an idiot. Durr. This troper has some really random trains of thought

and he sometimes lets out for everyone around him to hear. Earlier today, I thought of something. Like the chains and tents. From third to first person. Wait, no. That's not what I was thinking about. Sorry. As I was typing this, I started thinking about cheese.

And now I don't know what I was going to type. Cheese. Cheese is like... I want to beat myself with a bag of oranges. That's pretty random. going to type. Cheese. Cheese is like, I want to beat myself with a bag of oranges. That's pretty random. That's like, even among people who purport to be random, cheese is like, really played out.

Oh, shit. I'm sure he's thinking about sporks and monkeys and ninjas and shit. You see, yeah, but cheese is naturally funny. It's what people shout out before taking a photograph so that people smile. That doesn't make it funny. It doesn't mean just showing your teeth.

It's fucking science. That's not why people shout out cheese. I don't think people shout it anyway. Because it's hilarious. No, that's not. No, that's not why. It's because it's a really funny word. No, it's a face shape.

No, no, no. Yeah, but it's a face shape because you make that face because it's funny. No! No, you're wrong! Look, look, the point is we shouldn't even be discussing it because it's not even that random because I get the feeling a lot of the people commenting on this site see a lot of cheese daily, and I bet it goes right in their faces. Well, cheese isn't exactly what they see.

Modified milk ingredients. Yes. Orange chemicals. Slices. Oh, I'm next. This tropette walks around looking vacant and dreamy. Is that proper? Tropette? I think it's supposed to be troperette.

Tropette. We'll try that again. You dirty tropette. Get away from the street corner before I call the police. Troperet. Right. This tropet walks around looking vacant and dreamy,

plays music in her mind with her perfect memory and blinks to it, and closes her eyes for several minutes while continuing as normal to think better, wears earrings made of corks, always has something painted on her face, wears odd clothing, and spent 15 minutes a day thinking about how cute clams are. She also enjoys thinking entirely in quotes from her favorite media, and fails

to understand why other people are weirded out by this. Does she qualify? For what? The chambers? Also wonders why she's so alone. Yeah. Buried in cats. I don't know how I got 30 of you, but I love you all! Mother- Stock just moved on to the last one. Last one. You're eating cats. I don't know how I got 30 of you, but I love you all. Mother.

Stock just moved on to the last one. Last one. Okay. The pot smoking probably didn't help, but this troper considers reality to be for people with no imagination. Also, it's where the pizza boy lives, man. Well, that's like just your shitty opinion, man. This guy should change his name to The Pot Smoking Probably

Didn't Help. Well, that's going to be his epitaph. Here lies Asshole, parentheses, The Pot Smoking Probably Didn't Help. His name was Asshole Parentheses The pot smoking Probably didn't help His name was Asshole And the pot smoking Probably didn't help

Alright What is Let's look into Now let's find out What Troper has to say About took a level In badass When a once weak

Character turns out Turns around And becomes hardcore And respected Yes Okay I can already smell The bullshit Oh yeah Yep When a once weak character turns around and becomes hardcore and respected? Yes. Oh. I can already smell the bullshit.

Oh, yeah. Yep. Right. I was a loser, but now I'm an awesome popular nerd. This troper got picked on a lot in middle school and high school. Totally ignored in college by vapid girls. What? I'm going to guess all girls are vapid by that definition.

Yeah, but... Oh, they're all stuck up. Yeah, but it's success story time. Just wait for this. But after he got his degree and became manager at the most successful GameStop... Hold on, you need to let me

qualify that. It's the most successful GameStop in the Southeast region. It's a very coveted GameStop region. Wait. There are loads of kids and college students who have to answer to him. No, this is all still in a parenthesis that will never end. Cue evil laugh.

Well, I'm laughing, but it's not evil. Put Bioshock 2 back on the shelf. Do you know who I am? I have a degree. People were really mean to me, but now I have a marginal quantity of authority.

I'll show them! Hey, I have a marginal quantity of authority. Now I manage the GameStop. I'll show them. I'll show them all. Hey, asshole, give me Call of Duty. Okay, sir. Thank you, Evil Laugh. Would you like to buy a warranty for that? This troper took a few levels when, after years of being a woobie, so pitiful Shinji would say, what the heck is wrong with you? What?

What the hell's a woobie, so pitiful Shinji would say, what the heck is wrong with you? What? Woobie is a cutesy character that constantly gets picked on and just gets shit on all through life, and Shinji I guess is some anime character that is a really... That would be the guy from Neon Genesis Evangelion. I'm really depressed at how much of this I fucking know.

Well, the pot smoking probably didn't help. I had enough of a girl I liked always going for this tall blonde guy. Wow, that was a sentence. It's time for the beta male to step up. When they were talking right in front of me in the street and holding arms and talking and all that. Holding arms? Well, where were they taking the arms? I said, shut the hell up.

The boy looks around and walks over, trying to look menacing. Martial arts studies come in. Oh, do they? Uh-huh. Was there a little montage of your sensei telling you things? I take a punch to the forehead and then slide under and punch him in the stomach. He goes backwards and I

land another one to his face. Then I go berserk and full body tackle him. He managed to crawl away and say, that kid is inhuman. That totally happened. And then the girl came over and she was like, you're all sexy and I was like, that's cool. And then she was like, your like You're all sexy and I was like that's cool

And then she was like your dick's really big And I was like yeah it totally is And then I showed her with my dick Nothing didn't happen as much as that That's okay John because you get the best one ever This anonymous troper Took a level in badass between 6th and 7th grade That's okay, John, because you get the best one ever. This anonymous troper took a level in badass between 6th and 7th grade. 6th grade?

Yeah. Did I just fucking say that? 6th grade? You decide. I was teased, hated by pretty much everyone, driven to tears at times. You know, the usual. I did, however, plant the seeds for my upgrade. Oh, is that how upgrades work?

I was already tall, handsome, strong, and smart, so the next year comes around... Wait, why were you hated so much? Yeah! Hmm. Everyone was jealous of him. Yeah, that's true. So the next year comes around, and early on, I'm already getting some form of respect.

When I tried out for wrestling is when I really got noticed. Among my team, I was easily one of the best. Even though I was just a rookie, I was good at other sports too. Even though I didn't have time to try out for the teams, and was aware that there were plenty girls crushing on me. Oh, I'm awesome. I just didn't have time for them either. It went as far as people claiming that I could beat them in the fight

Black people That's serious Did not disappoint Did you hear me? Black people said I could beat them up Oh good. I'm glad I get this one. This is the

reason you suck speech. The reason you suck speech is when a character goes on a huge rant that just calls out another character on their bullshit and tells them how they're screwing up in their lives in the hopes that they will understand how fucked up they are. So it's sort of coming to God

moment? Yeah, kind of. I think of that as the Angela Bassett speech. Yeah. Wait, wait, a bunch of them were just like, oh, my teacher gave me this a lot, but this was one where someone claimed to actually give one. So. This troper gave a very nasty

one that was merged with the Hannibal Lecture to a bully jerk jock type. It can be summed up as, I really do pity you, or at least I try to. You're just an empty fool who tries to erase his fear that he might not get a football scholarship by bullying those lesser than him. ball scholarship by bullying those lesser than him. I continue these geeky behaviors because they let me

form at least a core of my personality. You? You have nothing more other than to try to fill your empty core up with the fears of others while watching that perfect six-pack decay from one too many beers.

He cried and ran away, having been emotionally dissected. decay from one too many beers. He cried and ran away, having been emotionally dissected. In real life, if that was a real bully, he wouldn't have got past the word pity. Yeah. He had a fist buried in his stomach. I really do pity you, or at least I, ow, my everything hurts.

The responses to that from three different people, one of them was, when you take over the world, can I be a minion? I, of course, already have taken over the world. Yeah, I already have. The second one was, when you take over the world, I'll be leading La Resistance, or be an over-minion, read The Dragon, either one. And then the third one says, this never happened, did it? Way to go, detective TV tropes.

Yeah, dramatic pauses aren't really good for when you're talking to somebody who wants to kick your ass. Like, yeah, I'm assuming he thinks people are also going to believe that he just kind of did this lecture and the bully's face just kind of sunk down as it was all dawning on him or something. And he cried and ran away.

Yeah, he cried and ran away. I also really like the underlying argument of, you're a jock and that's lame because you have no personality. I'm a geek, so I have a personality. Yeah. He rolled no personality. I'm a geek, so I have a personality. Yeah. He rolled his personality. Okay. The pot smoking probably didn't help. We could do the jade-colored glasses,

but really the comedy from that is just, I used to be happy, then I went to middle school and found out life sucked. Other ones we can do is, I call him Mr. Happy, which is essentially, dear internet, this is what I call my genitals. Oh, yeah, well there we go. Yes, that's what happens now.

That's a winner. I call him Mr. Happy, so this is just stories of TV troopers naming their genitals? Yes. That is exactly what it is. This trooper's roommate is named Cthulhu, after a very phallic line graph. This trooper's roommate is named Cthulhu after a very phallic line graph.

Also, he's got really weird and thick pubic hair. He hates it when I call it that. Though, so now my breasts are volcano nipples. What?

I can explain. Oh, okay, good. Since one is clearly a composite volcano, and the other is clearly a shield. What? Oh. I took a geology class. Well, thank you so much for explaining. I totally get it now.

My boyfriend named his jokes. He did this so that he could say about me, he's good with jokes. Or, oh, he always takes my jokes. Et cetera. My boyfriend took my penis. Yeah, Cosmere, I was getting a little better these days. Also, Mind Wonderweasel has been dubbed

Slagathor. Don't ask why, I honestly have no idea either. Dubbed Slagathor by Don't ask why, I honestly have no idea either. Dump Slagathor by who? Maybe that would provide some insight. This troper finished having sex with a girl. Pulled it out. Looked down as it faded. Faded?

Faded. Faded. Oh, his penis disappears. And quoted Animal House, Niedermeyer's dead, said the girl. Wait, you call it Niedermeyer? Which led to this troper singing,

Oh, I wish I were a Niedermeyer wiener. Surprisingly, the girl didn't run away in terror. She's a keeper, then. Mine is Phillip. My nickname is K So it's full name is really Phillip K's Dick Wait a minute You're wondering why I came up with that

The name was spoken to me by it In a dream but still One of my best friends Named her boobs Ivory and Ebony. Your best friend has fucked up tits. Why? They go together in perfect

harmony. Like a yin-yang symbol on her chest. It's like the Juggalo tits. Boots? Well, after trying something a friend suggested, mine are now named Dr. Joseph Mengele, Quintus Horatius Flaccus, and the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium.

All random. All of your penises? Yeah, let's think about it. There's a lot to think about in this. Because, first of all, I don't know what... He's named one of his genitals after the Nazi doctor

that performed questionable experiments on Jews during World War II. It could be a woman naming both her breasts and her vagina. Like, her vagina's the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium. Wait, okay, so one tit is really mangled,

right? One tit's just really just fucked up and cut up. One tit farts. And then her pussy has a lot of people in it. She tried something her friend suggested, and that was the end result. I want more story on the something.

I want your story, lady. Alright, Boots, wait. One more here. Oh, God. Okay. I call mine the Soul Calibur because putting on different condoms will give me

different weapon effects. Penetrate guard, and guard impacts do damage, being my favorites. Does it say that on the condom? Is masturbating while crying a movement Soul Calibur? I don't know. This trooper was eliminated, but the chlamydia still burns. All right, all right. What's a badass creed? Eliminated, but the chlamydia still burns. Alright, alright. What's a badass creed?

The badass creed is pretty self-explanatory. It's when someone has a character who just has a really kick-ass motto or creed. This troper's badass creed is just awesome. In the cold dark of night, in the blazing sun of day, wherever you hide, whatever you seek, I will follow you. I will never rest, come hell or high water, through fire and flames.

I am that which gods worship, that which blows stuff up and then blows it up some more. I am the soldier of the wasteland. I am Jamie. The guy who does all the movie trailers has finally flipped out.

Alright, yeah, so the stealth insult, I guess the idea of sort of sneaking an insult under the radar. Yep. Yep. So, John, insult me so I don't know about it. There are several people

this troper would call Saint Foo. As in STFU? I'd like to point out the as in STFU is also in hidden text so you had to highlight it for like the answer. Spoiler alert.

Just if you didn't quite get it, it's a pretty good turn of phrase. It doesn't even work because a person being called to shut the fuck up doesn't... Okay, never mind. Hey, you know what? You're Saint Foo.

How about that, huh? And you live on Street Foo. This troper has been known to push his glasses up with his middle finger while looking at someone in order to flip them the bird in the most plausibly

deniable manner. This troper does the same thing. It's a classic. I've never heard of this. I wonder if anybody's ever done that to me. The next time someone pushes their glasses up in your presence, you should just be

safe and punch them in the face. No, because then he'll dissect me emotionally. I wish the first guy would have responded like, no you don't! I invented that! Yeah. This trooper has a strange sense of humor

and makes a lot of jokes that people don't get. Because they're about anime? Yeah. Stupid. She'd taken advantage of this and used the weird person humor in her insults. She can't remember any specific jokes at the moment, though. Of course, why, yeah.

Subverted, though, because even her obvious insults tend to fly over people's heads. For example, going down the evolutionary scale, human, monkey, fish, amoeba, perverted classmate, I used his name, of course. I said it to his face and he didn't get it.

What? I said this to his face and he didn't hear it. All sorry, I was thinking about I said it to his face and he didn't get it. What? I said this to his face and he didn't hear it. Oh, sorry. I was thinking about boobs. Going down the evolutionary scale. He heard it. He just didn't... Yeah.

Care to acknowledge it? Years ago, this troper hoped for the right opportunity to rise to write a get-well-soon card for his least favorite aunt. this chopper hoped for the right opportunity to rise to write a get well soon card for his least favorite aunt. Inside would be this long sweet message that basically says that she's a good person and I hope she gets better soon. Well, some of the letters

in that long spiel would be in italic and when taken away from everything else, you'd find a hidden message. What sucks to be you. I had the long spiel saved, but the file went missing when transferring stuff to the desktop. I just go around that time. See, I was going to do this thing, but then I didn't.

And it would have been really lame if I did, but I didn't do it. I would have looked like a bad person if I did it, but I didn't. You wouldn't have looked like a bad person if I did it, but I didn't. It wouldn't have looked like a bad person. Nobody in the fucking world would have noticed the couple of letters. He's saying, no, I think he's saying he did that, and then he was going to paste it into TV Tropes, but he lost the file, so I think he didn't do it.

Oh. Guys. So, funny moments. Yeah, so, crowning moment of funny is just a story or character's just peak moment of funny, of comedy. It's just the funniest fucking thing that a character or story did. And so these are supposed to be the funniest moments of these people's lives. I feel like they've gone so far away from the concept of tropes.

Like, this is a trope where a character says something funny! What? No, that's not... Well, this isn't supposed to be just anything funny. This is just supposed to be the absolute climax of hilarity. Which isn't really a trope either, I guess, but it's still slightly more than... My friends and I do this often. Obviously.

What? But you often have the most funniest... Whatever. We're constantly topping ourselves. What can I say? One quote in particular sticks out. Heat it with fruit power, said by this troper over the phone to friend while friend was making a veggie burger of all things. Funniest thing ever!

Fuck! 310. If this were a sitcom, they wouldn't even hit the laugh track button. They'd hit the... Listen, man, we'll fucking hit this button for Urkel jokes, but we are not hitting it for this. But hit it with fruit power or whatever.

This trooper was getting involved in a fight between two of my brothers, and one of them yelled, You stay out of this! Trooper walked two feet to just outside the room. He then rejoined, That's not funny! You probably had to be there. Yeah, I probably had to be there.

Funniest thing ever! Funniest thing ever. Okay, um... Hey, this troper was playing Dungeons and Dragons! That's funny. That is. Oh, you wacky troopers. Oh, wait, I have a little bit more to tell you.

Okay, so we were in a dungeon fighting stone golem, which was awoken from being a statue by the party's gnome, throwing some blood on it. That's funny. Somehow we took this to mean it was a vampire stone golem, and our cleric decided to cast a spell daylight on it to see if it was affected. But being behind the golem, he reached out and made his ass glow.

I quipped, you can't call it where the sun doesn't shine then. You can't call it where the sun doesn't shine then. Uh, yeah. Battle was stopped for the next five minutes due to laughing. But that's actually because we all had carbon monoxide poisoning. We were all suffocating. Nice one, dude. You have my respect.

I don't know why. I don't deserve it. You should joke at a D&D game. I like how the beginning of your reading starts off way stronger than you giving the actual joke. Which is confusing. Well, I thought it was funny that I was playing Dungeons & Dragons. But all of a sudden I told this fucking boring story. No, that's funny.

Alright, well, I have the funniest thing ever. I'm sure. See this one time? I woke up late and I couldn't find a pair of matching socks, so I picked two different ones and wore them for the whole day. Oh, Jesus Christ! Yeah. That is hilarious.

Why aren't you laughing? The whole day! The socks are matched. The whole day! These socks aren't asymmetrical. That's hilarious. Our recession hasn't hit hard enough. You people need to be toiling in the fields,

you fucking sock-wearing fuckers. I like how you hate socks now. I didn't until now. Wait, Stog has the actual funniest thing ever. Okay until now. Wait, Stog has the actual funniest thing ever. Okay, good. Oh, I'm glad. Funniest thing ever. This troper was

listening to the radio when she heard a voice say something about a deceased donkey. Cue hysterical laughter. Funniest thing ever! Pretty funny. Jesus Christ!

This trooper probably has a brain tumor. That's funny. Alright, guys, guys. I also smelled burnt toast and that was hilarious. Boots! All of these fucking funny things have not been funny. I got something.

You guys are gonna laugh your fucking nuts off. This goddamn better be funny. Right. Rescue us. You're going to be nutless at the end of this from your laughing. You're going to laugh your nuts off. I'm going to fall in the coke. All right.

So this troper was watching our cat, hoping that she would go into the garage just before we would close it. As we were leaving to do something in town, but of course, as we were closing it, we urged her to go inside, but of course, of course, of course, of course, she goes the other way, which actually prompted me to more or less

yell out, you're going the wrong way! Okay, and then what? I more or less yelled out. What I really yelled was, fuck. Sure, but anyway, so that's the setup, and then the punchline. Yeah, next? Wait, what?

No, no. What do you mean next? Next, I mean... You didn't finish your funny story, you fuck! No, that's the funny story! It's Isfahan's turn. Why is it Isfahan's turn?! You said you were going to give us a funny story, you fuck! No, that's the funny story! It's Isfahan's turn. Why is it Isfahan's turn?! You said you were gonna give us a funny story!

I did! I gave you the funniest story of my life. It ended with your going the wrong way! It's the funniest story of my life. It sounds like Lemon has jade-colored glasses. I'm not sure what that means. It's one of the tropes that's on there. We skipped over it.

That's okay, because Isfahan is the actual funniest thing ever. It's the last thing on the list. I don't believe you anymore. No, it's funny. Sit tight. It's just hilarious. I don't know. Okay. I tried to paint a creepy painting

of a decomposing doll. It looked like a yawning T-Rex in a skirt. I guess it could be funny, since I can't visualize it. It's funny! It's the funniest thing ever! Humor is dead and we have killed him. Hey, Portax, if you have extra time, can you draw that?

Yes. That will be the picture for you. Well, this is Portax we're talking about. I think that's a wallpaper in her room. Yeah, I think mine was I tried to draw a yawning T-Rex in a skirt and it looked like a decomposing doll. Funniest thing that ever happened to me.

Oh, that's called a funniest thing reversal. What's the trope where everyone has diseased brains and thinks shit is awesome when it fucking isn't? Oh, you mean the zombie apocalypse trope? We can pull that one up if you want. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. Oh, wait. I think Stog wants to hear it.

Jesus. That's a different episode that we haven't This one time in an anime, there were zombies. No! Gas dog. Zombies. God damn it! And in Plants vs. Zombies, the zombies are fighting plants, and in Left 4 Dead, you're, like, shooting zombies, but they're not, like, the dead kind. And in, like, all the... Shut up. Living Dead, there's lots of zombies shooting zombies, but they're not the dead kind. And in All Night Living

Dead, there's lots of zombies. Alright, let's go through some awesome moments. These are different than funny moments. These are the crowning moments of awesome. I would also encourage everyone to go to the pages for these. There's kind of like instructions, because the site's URLs are fucked.

But, um... Okay, so the crowning moment of awesome. A moment when a character does something for which they will be remembered forever! Winning them the eternal loyalty of fans. Yes. Okay, uh...

This trope will arrange for Bob Saget to be the comedian for his college's homecoming week celebration. Pretty cool, but not quite a Kamoa. I wonder what he's asking for. It's a crying moment of awesome. I'm just kind of curious.

The crowning moment of awesome? During the show, Bob Saget called up this trooper to the stage and announced that I was his son. Wow. It's all pretty much downhill from here. That was a highlight of my life. That was the greatest thing to ever happen to. Alright, F-Plusers and F-Plusettes and all the people out there listening.

I have a special request. Great Penguin would like to give an assassin-related shout-out to the clever lady who killed him by putting poison, actually toothpaste, on his deodorant. The funny thing is that it made the deodorant smell better, and he now continues to apply a small amount to each stick. That's gross. The greatest thing to happen to you is that you put toothpaste in your armpits.

That's the greatest thing to happen to you is that you put toothpaste in your armpits. That's the greatest thing! I'll put a Casey Kasem voice on this and see if it's worth reading. Nope! Great Penguin would like to give an assassin lady shoutout to the clever lady who killed him by putting poison on his deodorant. Uh, yeah, the one before this is kind of long, so whatever, I'm going to do this next one. Okay.

This trooper also had a crowning moment of awesome where I managed to single-handedly defeat this chav who already beat me up with nothing

but his own insults and Team Fortress 2 taunts. What? Namely- You fucking taunt killed a belly? You think that

that would be ridiculous, but let me explain because it's namely the sniper's taunt with a sniper rifle and think that that would be ridiculous, but let me explain. Because it's namely the sniper's taunt with a sniper rifle and the engineer's laugh. So he waved? You waved and then laughed. Stab, stab, stab. Stab, stab, stab.

Well, that's definitely chav. Jesus Christ. Okay, so while this trooper was in the school library, the librarian shouted at us at the group to shut up, thus being several times louder than us. No one listened, so she told us to cease and desist. Someone in the library asked, how do you spell that?

She told him to log out and leave immediately. He just said he wanted to know how to spell the word because he didn't know what it meant. She told him to look it up, and he said he couldn't because he didn't know how to spell it.

And then she facepalmed and then walked away. And he got to stay. That was awesome. She annoyed a librarian into leaving you alone at the library. Yeah. Crowning moment. Greatest moment ever. See, Lemon, don't you understand that your life hasn't been exciting.

You haven't truly lived. You haven't bothered a librarian. Your cat didn't walk the opposite direction of your garage? Well, it's really funny because he said, you're going the wrong way. It's really good. It's classic, I think. Alright, boots.

This troper was usually verbally harassed by these two females. Whores. In school. This troper couldn't bring himself to hit them, to shut them up, since retaliation always makes him look bad since he's six foot four and they're below five foot six. So what did him and his nakama do when they ran into them in the movies?

Insult them and make them look immature. I made them look immature for being whores. He must have succeeded, I'm sure. Yeah, they look immature. It was especially funny since the boys they were with were our good friends

and they laughed with us as we tore them a new one. After that, the following week at a special school event, I'm choosing to word it that way. Yeah, for some reason. We ended up in a brawl with one of the girls' older brothers and their friends. Who do you think won? I think you won, and you had fingerless gloves and sunglasses on when you did it. Denim jacket.

And he slapped his knee and the guy exploded. Explosion! When this trooper spent time at his uncle's, he loves to observe his sword collection. Wow, already a tense problem. Yeah. That other guy would totally punch him.

All of them were blunt-edged, so they were safe and harmless, but you couldn't tell that just by looking. One day, a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses or something similar showed up on his doorstep. He spent about 20 minutes trying to get them to clear off, but they wouldn't budge, seeing as how my uncle was struggling with them. And just a few feet away were essentially a bunch of glorified, realistic-looking toy swords. It didn't take me long to grab a insanely cool-looking black daito, a Japanese longsword, and head towards the door, period. There's an accent mark that I would have pronounced daito. Period. There's an accent mark that

I would have pronounced Daito correctly, but there's an accent mark. I believe you. Uncle. Feck off. Jehovah's Witnesses. Generic religious banter. What? Blah blah blah god blah blah blah blah. Trooper. Appears in doorframe.

Hey. Begins to unsheathe sword. Does this look sharp to you? Jehovah's Witnesses Already running away Why did you frame that as dialogue? Yeah I don't think I'd ever get the chance to say this But I'm on the side of the Jehovah's Witnesses

They walk up and are like Hey, can I have a moment of your time? And it's like, here's a sword I don't think they came out better than that. Guys, we've been making fun of these. Yeah. But I've actually got the best one. Literally. Really the best one.

You don't. Are you ready? This is the best moment of his life. Hope springs eternal. Okay. One of this troper's proudest moments is getting my English teacher addicted to Dave Barry. Thank you. Awesome!

What? What? That was the top, baby. I got it. Oh, my God! Well, anyway, I need to actually stand up for this. Okay. Oh, wow.

I need to stand up for this because this is the greatest moment, and I'm very up for this. Okay. I need to stand up for this because this is the greatest moment and I'm very excited about this. Okay. So, okay, I'm good. Alright. Glass of water. Okay. I was attacked in high school and I, by sheer luck, managed to dodge his fist punch

and then I said, I'm a black belt bitch! And he ran away. I've never even seen a karate class. Holy shit. But, but, did you get the attacker addicted to Dave Barry? Yeah. That takes finesse.

So, who would think of that? This troper's caught flies before without looking. That is the greatest moment of my life. The greatest moment of my life. This troper has attracted flies before without looking.

Oh, hey, a fly! Awesome! Correct. Must be all the toothpaste under my arms. And read some Dave Barry to my English teacher. Okay, I got one from the page. In the fifth grade, I signed up for the school talent show at the very last minute to sing a song. I'm normally a person who does not like being the center of attention,

so this was a decision I went with spontaneously. At the auditions, I think I was the only person who didn't use background music for a singing-slash-dancing act. After the audition, I think I almost fainted. Cue the night of the talent show about three or four rehearsals later, and I was on stage... and I sang.

Wait, what? But, like, you didn't, like, win or anything? I sang. I sang. No,, win or anything? I sang. I sang. No, that was a victory. I sang. You sang? I was in a school talent show. I sang.

That was the greatest moment. I was in a school talent show. That was a moment of awesomeness. The stroper is an aspie and has a reputation at school for being a badass normal and apparently not grasping the concept of affection no matter how hard she tries. Anyway, an old friend from the other side of Canada come to visit. Now, she's had a crush on this guy for at least eight to nine years and she only told him two years ago. He replied that he liked me as well, saying he wanted to marry the stroper and his parents approved, not joking.

me as well saying he wanted to marry this trooper and his parents approved not joking automatically people came up and started giving him loads of shit i just found out two months beforehand that he was being bullied at school and he went into a corner and started muddy muttering ideas to kill himself while holding back tears the trooper felt true rage she hugged his head stood up and walked towards the bullies and hits, Nobody talks to my fucking fiancé like that, you shit-eating dick fucker! Wow. That's a crowning moment of funny. For those guys, yeah.

They're sitting on their front porch. They're like 85 years old. They're all old. It's like, dear, remember the time you called those bullies shit-eating dick fuckers? That's why I married you. How did you two meet? One day, I was walking down the hall in school, and the resident bully was attempting to attack my friend.

I stopped him and told him to meet me in the park at recess. When we got there, I was ready to beat the crap out of him. Outta. Outta him. But, I thought of something he would never expect. I struck a Power Rangers-esque pose at him. Just as planned, he laughed, and I kicked him in the teeth. Guess what? He left the school. Only problem, I got detention for a month, but it was

so worth it. Greatest moment of my life. I acted like a Power Ranger and kicked an unsuspecting man in the teeth. I had one myself. It started at 3.49am today. It was no ordinary day. It was Black Friday.

My mom told me to go to Macy's for the 4am doorbuster sale. It was a simple shopping list. One mini to go to Macy's for the 4 a.m. doorbuster sale. Christ. It was a simple shopping list. One mini fryer, one electric oven, one neck massager. When I got to the cellar, I asked one of the workers to help me find these three items. He showed me where they were. I went to the cashier, paid them, and took off.

When I got out of the store, I screamed to the top of my lungs, Crowning moments of awesome! What? I breezed right through Black Friday in less than 20 minutes. Greatest Friday ever. I'm sure it was. That's pretty great.

At school, a friend of mine played through Fire and Flames on Expert and got five stars during band class. We never do anything in there. Awesome as that is alone, the best was the beginning. While he was playing the hammer-ons with both hands, he turned to another friend, playing perfectly while not even looking at the screen, and said calmly, You like that?

I play a game way too much. Okay, that was pretty good, but are you guys ready for this? No. This is pretty great. A bit nerdy, but this troper scored the median on her ACTs and SATs. She's in seventh grade, and she didn't study at all. That's pretty awesome. It's the greatest moment of your life.

I got a middling grade on two tests. Best moment ever. It's pretty bad when of your life. I got a middling grade on two tests. Best moment ever. It's pretty bad when your life peaks that early. During the spring break for my senior year of high school, I was having lunch at a local Chinese restaurant when in walk a couple men. So far believable, right? Sure.

I don't believe that Chinese restaurants exist. So do a couple men. All right. I recognize one of the men from photos on a flash drive that I had about the previous autumn and correctly assumed that the other man to be his lover. Whatever. I have nothing against the GLBTQ community. That's not how that works.

GLBTQ. Okay, never mind. Whatever. The great BLT. No, it's a great sandwich. Community, and I'm actually a big supporter of equal rights for them. Why the hell should there even be an argument about that? But I knew I was in danger, as certain documents on that flash drive had led me to believe

that the lover was in the Sicilian mafia, who were mostly violently anti-gay. Okay. Is this person going to take down the Sicilian Mafia in this story? Yes. I don't, maybe. Hopefully. I'm guessing the next sentence is, I then turned off the Sopranos and walked outside.

It turns out I was right, and he somehow knew that I had evidence of both his affiliation but also his affair, so since he felt his life was at risk, he was there to end that danger by ending me! What? Seriously, are you reading a book jacket right now? This was all done by, like, eye contact, apparently? Okay, uh, ending me. Knowing that I was probably dead anyway, I bluffed and pretended to be hanging up my cell phone

as he sat down in my booth and pulled his gun on me! What? Middle of the Chinese rest. I mean, you know, Godfather. They killed him. Why? I'm so amazed that this didn't, like, show up in the. I mean, you know, Godfather. I'm so amazed that this didn't show up in the news or anything. Godfather. Michael shot him right in the middle of that restaurant, so I'm still

believing it. This is a selection from E is for Every Airport Novel Ever by James Patrick. No, I think you're thinking of Sue Grafton. No, no. she's more... Well, no, you probably... F is for fake.

Fake. I have a friend who has an uncle who's pretty high-ranking in the Mafia. Oh, my God. Is this still going? Yeah, sorry. It's the crowning moment of awesome. Yeah, he hasn't kicked the Mafia guys' asses yet, so hang on.

So I just lied my ass off. I've never done that before. That one time, I wasn't... It was weird how naturally it came. And pretended to be under protection, and that the only way to save himself from being revealed as gay was to leave me alive. That must have been really hard logic problems.

I want to continue being your gay lover, but there's a problem. Some guy has a flash drive. And I could tell by looking at him. He's wearing a t-shirt that says, I have a flash drive with all gay mobsters on it. I have a flash drive that reveals you're a gay mobster and all I got was this t-shirt.

It's the official gay mobsters dot com flash drive. By some miracle it worked and he left. I talked to my friend later and now I actually am under protection. But those who believe me when I tell them of this story consider it to be one of the single most awesome things

they know of someone doing in real life. I mean, how many people can really honestly say that they bluffed their way out of being whacked by the frickin' mafia? Not very beeping many. Hey, Vinny. Hey, Vinny, check this out. You want to go out And convince this nerd That we're in the mafia

We'll totally fuck with his head Hey oh I'm in the mafia I'm with my gay boyfriend Hope I don't get found out By the nerd with the laptop And a flash drive dude TV party tonight TV party tonight TV party tonight!

TV party tonight! TV party tonight! TV party tonight! And there we go. Round about an hour of people whose parents should have been much meaner to them when they were growing up. There's something, you know, parents,

you know, when you say to your kids, oh, you're so special too many times, this is the sort of shit that comes out of it. John, what did you learn this week? I learned that if you have anything on the internet that's supposed to be a reference source and you don't have both objective standards and editorial control, it'll just basically turn into fans wanking on each other. Yeah, yeah, that's definitely i mean that's that's obviously the case with you know wikipedia kind of spiraling out of control i mean encyclopedia dramatica was like that from the beginning right um but even something like wikipedia it's still got some slight level of respectability i mean you can find i'm sure the article on you know naruto

or something like that is that would. That would be very accurate. It's very accurate, whereas the one on War and Peace or, you know, the War of 1812, eh, you know, whatever. You know, but I will say I use it all the time. I use it for, you know, if I want to know something about Charles in Charge, you know, where else am I going to go? And that's what I mean is that it's got some level of objective standards to what it's doing. There's some editorial stuff going on that's keeping it at some level, even if it is way more pop culture than crap that actually matters. But here, what a trope is is so vague,

and the fans just go out and say, like, you know, oh, these tropes apply to my real life. And it's what could be an insightful source of, like, oh, that is neat. You do see that a lot in movies and and tv shows or whatever just turns into yeah yeah people oh yeah the scene where people are eating yeah that's a trope that's really insightful oh and you ate dinner once too and you're that's your own trope in real life oh thank you i'm so glad i know this yeah i mean you know so many sites with you know i mean obviously wikipedia and imdb and and nmdb and and uh and all these sites where, you know, I mean, obviously Wikipedia and IMDB and NMDB and

all these sites where they put together sort of information. You have the situation. Like, I have probably like, I don't know, 8,000 songs in my music library. Sure. Because I have sort of hoarding tendencies

as far as, you know, I want to have as many 80s new wave albums as possible. Yes, and you've got to have all of what Broken Side's done. Their beat sides are really good. Yeah! But there's a thing that exists on the internet of people that have a hoarder mentality with information. You know, where they want to, like, jam every Futurama script. where they want to, like, jam every Futurama script.

Like, just to make sure that everything that Fry has ever said, like, needs to be categorized and compared against other things that Fry has said. And it's a version of autism that I wish went to a different and better end. Yes. And it's just, they let it turn from something that could be interesting to basically the hive mind version of that one kid who will just yell out Monty Python quotes over and over. This one giant bubbling mass of nerd. The internet ruining media you like for 20 years.

Exactly. And if you want to help ruin the internet, I suggest going to Thefpl.us Leave some comments on our website Like us on the Facebook Come to our live show And talk about how awesome it is Yes and thanks for listening

Please come by When is that F Plus Live 2 happening Lemon? Jesus I don't remember Oh wait it's Friday, September 30th at 9pm in Minneapolis in the Blue Nile, and if you're subscribed to this podcast, you've probably

heard enough ads about it. But there's one more. Here's a little more. Please come and help us improve your life, and also get really drunk. That's a good way to start. See you next time. See ya. Oh, and let me write this down. Okay, F plus A minus The trope is

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The trope The trope The trope The trope What are we gonna talk about? I don't know We're gonna miss Our favorite shows No That's incredible

No Money, that's football No Jefferson No Friday No TV parties No dreaming for you tonight Insecucial! Ooh!

Turn back to the start. Alright. People are listening. They're like, why the hell are they laughing at that so hard? Insecucial! Ooh! Insecucial! Ooh! Okay, this time I'll get it. And the occasional woo! You're the boners. That'll be $5.95.