The F Plus - 63: Achtung! Adult Babies!

Episode Date: November 30, 2011

Growing up is hard. There's plenty of fiction centered around the frustration of adolescence, even more fiction on the malaise of adulthood, and then it's death after that. Wouldn't it be nice to just be a baby forever? Well, no - obviously it wouldn't. None of us remember our time as an infant, but clearly being mute, frail and covered in your own waste cannot be the most intellectually stimulating time of your life. But then, there's those that think that all sounds pretty good, especially if they can have sex while they're at it. This week, The F Plus wonders if adult babies are grosser than Bad Dragon customers.

Soft, silky folds fall, sliding slow between his sheets. Bang! Canoebio Fusion! Hey there, this is the F+, Terrible Things, Red of Enthusiasm. My name's Lemon. And I'm Bunnybread. And Bunnybread, I'm glad you're here, because today we are going to be tackling the website Sissy Kiss. Oh, Sissy Kiss. I know Sissy Kiss. You're familiar. Yeah, Sissy Spacek and Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, they all got together.

They made their long-awaited duet project. Boy. And I've heard early snippets and it's awesome. It is incredible stuff. You know, the thing that excites me about that idea is the faces. I mean, Genius Simmons' face and Sissy Spacek's new plastic surgery modeled face. It's kind of just a pastiche of ugly

just all right there. No, this is not that. What this actually is, I'm sorry Sissy Spacek, that was uncalled for. What this actually is, is this is a website for adult babies. Oh, adult babies. That's when I had no real musical project related to adult babies. I'm sorry.

This is a site about grown men who want to be infant girls. Ah, not just as a tax dodge. No, they actually have both an age and a gender switch um as part of their and it is i mean it's definitely a fetish like this is a this is a very sexualized fetish and it we're not reading too much into that ourselves okay good it is very gross um we got some we got some stories we got some stories, we got some poetry, we got some haiku, and

you know, if you're one of those people that kind of have come in, you know, to the F+, on a lighter topic, you know, the Roy Orbison being wrapped up in cling film, or the sort of the lonely people, this is not bad. This is a hardcore F+.

Yeah, this is... I mean, we were drunk for the reading. It wasn't required. Yeah, it was required. The hell with it. That was the only way we got through it. But I know that there's nothing that can make us vomit now, so I've learned that about myself.

That's definitely true. All right, so steal yourself. This is the Sissy Kiss episode. In the room tonight, we have Boots Reign here. My sissy milk has gone sour. Kumquats up. Strapped in my high chair. Fed castor oil and prunes.

Yes, Fahan? This is no longer a podcast It is now a social experiment to see what will break the readers Bunnybread Hello, ladies, I'm Widdle baby bunnybwed Victor Laszlo Pamper me pretty Vortex

If you're into shitting in a diaper While dressed as Shirley Temple boy howdy these are the folks for you and Lemon sorry for what happens next alright so yeah this is Sissy Kiss this is a website where grown men

act like little girls it is a gross fetish This is a website where grown men act like little girls. It is a gross fetish. It is a sexualized fetish. But we're going to start you off nice and light. We're going to just ease into this, you know, get the kind of simple material out of the way before we get into the heavy stuff. And so to that end, this thread is called How to Eat My Own Cum. Okay, good. I'm glad we're starting off slow.

Right, yeah, exactly. I like how the logo looks like some fucking Facebook game or something. Yeah, I'm already sorry I showed up tonight. Lemon needs you to clean his diapers. Won't you help? You're spamming me with sissy girl updates.

I guess, Boots, do you want to do the initial post? Yeah, I'd love to do the initial post. So, Boots Reingear, you have a question for us? Yeah, hey guys. I'm Shy Diaper. I'm a little newbie. How many posts do you have? One. This is my only post. It's the only posts do you have? One. This is my only post.

It's the only thing I've ever cared about. This is my only contribution to the community. It starts with a question. Okay. How to eat my own cum. Zoom start orally. Well, hell yeah. Okay.

I've done it before by just coming into my hand and consuming a portion of it that way, but it wasn't satisfying because I'm someone who doesn't feel sissy 24-7, but rather only when I'm horny. Okay, that's the shortest podcast ever. I'm out of here. No, no, no. I got more to say. No! Therefore, I'm in the class situation of wanting it up until just before I can actually do it, then what the cum is right there for eating, the desire goes away. Oh my god!

This is a class situation. If I made a little bit more money, I would definitely eat my cum. I was thinking he was doing this in class. Well, I could hire someone to eat my cum for me. It's studied in schools. It's a philosophical question because it's,

I want to eat my cum when I'm horny, but then after I cum I'm no longer horny, so I can't eat my cum. Oh, this is pretty much a Zen Cohen. Yeah. What is the sound of one dick coming? I guess that's the sound of any dick coming. I think Socrates killed himself over this question. I think it's a better question, what is the sound of a million dicks coming? Yeah, okay.

I've got some more analysis of my own issue here. I don't think you do. Shut up. Stop talking. I do. So what I'm trying to figure out is how to do is to come at... See, how to do is to come.

That's a short enough sentence that makes sense. Come or not to come. That's the question. So what I'm trying to figure out is how to do is to come a night or two in advance and somehow save the come to drink when I'm horny again. I'm thinking either from a glass or better yet, and somehow save the cum to drink when I'm horny again. I'm thinking either from a glass or better yet, a baby bottle.

Oh, God. Here's the problem. Oh, there's a problem in your perfect plan. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. You're all on the same boat as me, but here's the problem. I don't live alone.

I do all of this in private and away from the others in the house, and therefore I can't freeze it. The others? What, people under the stairs? Or they're just random mutants living in your house? You don't want the cum to go bad. I would need to be able to tuck it away in my room for a day or two. What will happen to the cum if it's just left at room temperature?

I was thinking I could try sealing it in something like Ziploc, or maybe a food container that has a lid to seal in the freshness. The freshness! Do you think that it would work if I put in a plastic, fresh sealing container? Or would it not be the same cum, so to speak,

after 24 to 48 hours? Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions! I'm not going to leave forever. This is going to be a rough one. Two-day-old cum. Is there... Oh.

And this is the light stuff. But it's stored nicely, so... No, he's storing it in a Ziploc bag at room temperature. That's not nice. No, that keeps in the freshness. When you see that green stripe, you know the cum is sealed in. Right, exactly. All right.

Okay, my name's Oopsie Panty. And I'm dancing in the shadows. I'd love to be a sweet little girl. But anyway, I have a few points of advice. Because I have 812 posts on this site. so I am very much an expert in these matters. Yay! Yeah, this is professionalism. I have a few points of advice, which are not exactly to be used together, but more like separate ideas.

Okay, number one. Save it up the day before, but for the love of God, do not keep it at room temp. Store it outside at night. Here's a surprise for you, milkman. If it's cold, the dog will dig it up. Yeah, what if somebody steals your jizz then? Not all of us have that problem, Bunny Bread. In a small Tupperware-type container tucked away somewhere to keep it cold,

it won't be as good as fresh and warm, but it probably won't give you food poisoning either. Okay. Probably. What? Who knows? I'm not a scientist. Okay, number two. Victor, you want to confirm or deny whether you get food poisoning? Number two. No, I don't. I'd just like to point out that normally

you get food poisoning from food. If you eat it, it's food, yes? That's true. Number two, get a bit drunk, then lay on your back and masturbate in your preferred fashion, and then let it spray all over you. Eat it by using your fingers to clean it off you, and then you won't have to swallow it all at once, which will get you more used to the taste and texture. You're so ugly you have to get drunk to masturbate.

Okay, number three, if you don't like those. Cum, like many things, is an acquired taste for most people. And even then, it is like liquor. You might not physically react, but you are not saying yummy either. Ooh, yummy. Come get you drunk.

The idea of being submissive really seems to be your turn-on, so don't feel bad if you don't ever acquire a taste for it. Keep eating it. Don't like it. Just put it in your mouth. Whatever sort of impulse it has that stops you from putting cum in your mouth is a bad impulse, and you should get over it.

We're through three of six suggestions, but I'm assuming neither of the last three of them are maybe you should just not even bother. Let's find out. I bet that response is in here somewhere. Okay, number four. They make medical pasis, which are great for putting a nice load into and then giving it to your sub or yourself. Better than trying to use a bottle.

Humans don't produce that much cum, usually. That's actually pacifiers is what they're talking about. Make medical pacifiers. Yeah. Oh, that's gross. Yeah. That's acceptable, right? Okay, so we're all going to try four then.

Okay, number five. Cummies stored usually become less thick. So if you like it thick, make sure you take extra zinc and other minerals. If you do not already, take a multivitamin with minerals. Women's vitamins usually have them in, and men's usually do not. Flintstone's chewable cum tablets.

Is it saying... Is it advertised on the sort of package of whether or not it will thicken your cum? Yeah, they've got like heart healthy and good for your will thicken your cum. Yeah, they've got, like, heart-healthy and good for your bones and sweet cum. Okay, and finally, number six.

All of these same rules apply to improving or spoiling the taste of your cummies as they also do with you pee. Things like artificial sweeteners are good. Green veg guys usually take... usually bad taste-wise. I don't know what happened there. Oh, you know what happened there. You're just ignoring it. Yeah.

Yeah. Thumbs it up. Hello, my name is Betty Sweetie. Hi, Betty. Hi, Betty. I love to be a sissy. What level of sissy are you, Betty Sweetie. Hi, Betty. Hi, Betty. I love to be a sissy. What level of sissy are you, Betty Sweetie? My name is Betty Sweetie, and I'm a fab gal pal. And three hearts.

Here's a way to avoid the post-cummies guilt, but it takes some practice. Playing with your sissy clit for repeated edgings seems to pre-fill it with cummies. When you reach this point, it might also feel like you are about to pee. A few muscular contractions at the edge should cause some oozy lickies from your clitty. Oh my god!

Jesus goddamn fucking motherfucker Christ. That's a lot of awful baby talk. Mm-hmm. Into your preferred receptacle. Doing this repeatedly should give you enough cummies to enjoy that true sissy feeling. Sounded like a commercial. Cummy bears, just a little bit.

I'm gonna get divorced just for being here. I'm going to get divorced just for being here. It seems so weird that they're like, she's like, or, you know, the initial poster is like, oh, I'm having a hard time eating my own cum. And they're like, fucking do it! Just get over it!

Yeah, what does cum eating have to do with being a little girl, either? Because I assume it would have to do with some sort of humiliation of being forced to eat cum, of course that kind of bypasses that. Whenever you're doing it yourself of your own volition, but whatever the fuck they want, I guess. What if they have dual personalities, huh? I gotta say, the

little girl fetish and the humiliation fetish seem like kind of at odds, because is really anyone humiliating young infants? Hello, two-year-old child! You're terrible playing peek-a-boo! Because it's the concept of making a grown man act like a little girl. But little girls don't eat cum, or they shouldn't?

Yeah, but... They shouldn't? I know, but like... I agree, Victor. That's a good point. That's gonna be... Vicky's going out on a limb here. If you write it down on a piece of paper, I'll sign it.

Has always courted controversy like this. I'm gonna read Come Panty Boy. Those frickin' names. Okay. Should I be disinterested? Or should I do this enthusiastically? It's your call.

What does your heart tell you aside from get out kill myself alright hang on I'll try to do this enthusiastically the character okay now you'll never get out of here I'm stuck like this forever

the wind changed I like to freeze my cum for later. When I am horny, I can pop a frozen cum drop in my mouth. Great summer treat! No. No. It really isn't. Hang on.

Hang on a second. Hang on. Hang on. I'm sorry. We were talking about cum. All of Dean's recipes are getting worse. That's not a casserole at all. Funny bird, do you have something for us?

Oh, well, I believe, yeah. Yeah, I think so. Why, hello. I'm Pampers and Panthers. Oh my god. I'm just new to this whole thing. Well, not that new. I've been hanging around just a little bit, maybe posting about 78 times.

By the way, pamper me pretty. That's an order. Um, no. Okay, that's fine. I'm going AWOL. I often lose horniness after I cum. The way I like to do it is by, well, one, masturbate till you're near the coming stage. Two,

bring your legs up in the air. Three. Standing. Well, lay the fuck down now. Fall back in your head. It's fine. Please get a brain injury. Three, continue to bring your legs up until your mouth is directly

below your cock. Okay, hold on. Hold on, let me... That's three of four. Do not interrupt. So, I'm just gonna get... Okay, I'm ready. Oh, are you in position now? Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Keep the headset on. Four, masturbate away until you come and quickly open your mouth. This way, you can come in your mouth before the horniness wears off, but don't do this position for too long, otherwise you'll hurt your neck. Also, do it only on a really soft surface like a bed. You were doing it on the floor, weren't you, Boots? Don't do it on gravel.

Yeah. I don't know. I feel like... I mean, I used to like the Jim Rose Circus, but I feel like they're just getting a little too extreme these days. Gotta listen to the audience. Mr. Lifto is fine, but this shit... Ew.

Okay. We'll move off that subject, because that was a pretty good... Oh, thank heavens. Fucking God. Oh my goodness. You guys act like it's going to get better. Yeah. That's funny.

Now we'll go somewhere else. Come, Quat. Come, Pot. This is your topic, and it is on the subject of maxi pads. I would just like to say I have the most appropriately pronounced name of anybody here. Well, you need to change it to cum bottle. Cum pad.

No, you fill the cum bottle from the cum pot. With a cum ladle. That's what they should have suggested to him. A cum pot. Yeah, you get the cum pot, you put the cum ladle in the cum pot,

and you put it in a cum funnel, and it goes in your cum bottle. We're going to lose so many listeners from this episode. And if it's chunky, you can use a cum strainer. Yeah. Or maybe a cum cloth. Zop. Man, those F Plus guys are really funny with that cling film.

I wonder what this next one's about. Yeah, you're going to so terrify everybody. Including Victor. Yay, Victor. All right, cum cloth, what you got there? Oh, my God. My name is Girly Lana. Hey, Girly Lana.

Hey, what's up, Girly Lana? My interests are panties and diapers. Damn. Why is that? Why are those your interests? Well, I don't know why I like panties, but diapers are soft and cuddly.

Okay. Is there one more thing you like? Oh, and computer games. I had to click my interest to fly that section out to see that I like computer games. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, you're not a one-dimensional character. You're well-rounded. That's true.

I love to be a cute or sexy sissy girl. Either way. a cute or sexy sissy girl. Either way. And I would like to tell everybody about maxi pads. I've collected a large variety of pads.

Yes, a very odd thing to collect. As if you're just collecting it just to collect it. As if there was absolutely no I just so happen to have all these in my house. Wait a minute. Some people like Simpsons figurines.

Some people like Maxi Pads. I also like that in the context of this forum, Maxi Pads are odd. I think everyone likes to think of themselves as pretty kooky. Yeah. So I'll share some thoughts and opinions, mostly related to wearing comfort. Okay.

I could probably make a table. I could make a table of comparisons. Out of maxi pads. Okay. Build a table. Yeah. But that would be too much work. Pink hair face.

Yeah, sailor chibi mood. I don't know what the fuck that face is. It's girl seven. Oh, yeah. So instead, I'm going to give a random collection of thoughts because I'm so random and wacky. This trooper once collected maxi pads. Wings are less comfortable when walking.

Rougher against the inner thigh than panties. But help keep things in place in the long run, and I can imagine they'd prevent some stained panty sadness. I just want to know where you're wearing them. I don't understand. On the back? Yeah, I'm having a hard time thinking of anything funny to say about this because it's just perplexing.

Yeah, but that's because you have understanding of female anatomy. The rest of us are pretty fucking dumb. I don't think we're talking about female anatomy. Well, yeah, you are, dick, ruining it for the rest of us are pretty fucking dumb. I don't think we're talking about female anatomy. Well, yeah, you are, dick, ruining it for the rest of us. These boy vaginas, they need some help. Now let's listen up about these maxi pants. But stained panty sadness is not part of what I can review. So wings for a long or active day.

Well, thank you, girly Lana. Yeah, yeah. wings for a long or active day. Well, thank you, girly Lana. Yeah. Ultra thin, and even the newer, past year or so non-thin Kotex are stiffer, which I still find less comfortable.

Oh, he has a continuum of Kotex. The 2010 Kotex models just aren't as good as the old ones. Oh man, they should fire those developers. New Kotex are in early this year. The new Kotex is here. The new Kotex are here.

Super absorbent gel stuff isn't nearly as soft in dry form as older cotton or cotton-like fill. Move on. Always... What? Sorry, I just want to ask a question.

What the hell is it supposed to be absorbing? I don't think you're... Oh, wait, shame. That's what it is. No, what's going to happen is he's going to... He's going to jizz in it, and then he's going to wring it out into his mouth. For later.

You did read ahead, you bastard. Do you think he's peeing into it? Probably. You guys... It wasn't even made for that, though. Yeah. So that they don't ruin their little girl panties or whatever? Yeah, their panties.

Yeah, because, I mean, if they're wearing the panties... Oh, God, this is starting to make sense to me. I thought ruining them would be good, because then it'd be like humiliation. Yeah, but then you would have to buy more. No, it's what you ruin them with, though. I don't know. I think it would be good.

No, if... The alternative is learning how to perform a courtesy pee. No, I'm suspecting they would want it for walking around during the day. I mean, if you think about it, if you're wearing a diaper during the day, people will probably notice. So this, I guess, would probably be some sort of alternative to that, that's more discreet? I don't know.

Always dry weave seems to keep things cooler, although oddly enough, I find it promotes more sweatiness and sticking to skin than a more direct cottony layer, although with significant liquid, it

feels about the same. Whereas other surfaces typically feel damp. lair, although with significant liquid, it feels about the same. Light moisture. Whereas other surfaces typically feel damp. I really like all these compound words. I feel like they're translated from German. Like, sticking to skin as a noun. Alright, the next thing here.

Isfahan, you're going to be Susie Brave. You're a to be sissy I'm sorry Susie Brave you're a sissy slut I am and I will return as oopsie panty I have a lot of advice my name is Susie Brave

and I'm a sissy slut my interests are juicy dick girl sissies I really wish I hadn't read that. Can you like that on Facebook? Juicy Dick Girl Sissies is gonna move ya. Oh, man.

I can either like Juicy, as in the clothing company, or Dick Girls. I cannot like both at the same time. You can't like juicy dick girl sissies? No. All at once? We can start that.

All right. One of our fans will, actually. Preemptively. Thanks, fans. I'd like to meet need to get pimped out. That guy's cool. That's what it says. Buying panties in a store.

Description. Buying online because you're possessive too shy to go to a store? I used to buy my oongray online. Once I had a nice talk with the lady at the counter of a sex shop. I was complaining about the high price of the panties there, so she nicely talked me into buying them in some store in the same mall. Yay. It was a store for women's fashion

only, and I felt kind of wired. But it saved me 70%. Now I always go to stores. Could you imagine being the employee at the sex store and there's some guy that's fucking complaining about the panties? You know what she did? She's like,

I want to buy these crotchless panties, but they're so fucking expensive! Why don't you go somewhere else? That's exactly what she did? She's like, I just gotta get this. I wanna buy these crotchless panties, but they're so fucking expensive! You know what she did, right? Why don't you go somewhere else? Yeah, that's exactly what she did. She's like, oh, you need another store then. One that is not here where you're talking to me. Excuse me, I need to make a commie in these panties.

It's like, you need to not be here anymore. Even for Sex World, this is gross That is not only cheaper, but also more exciting You don't have to pay for the shipment You get what you see and you don't have to wait weeks for your order Which can be exciting too, admit it Although I always, except once, was treated remarkably polite I still feel not quite comfortable

How do, capital U, girls experience that? I am, am I being a bad sissy for feeling ashamed? And what happens? Do you, should you get punished by not being humiliated? I have shame, what's wrong with me?

I mean, I do be-lie-ave in our principles, and I do find it unfair that women get to wear all the nice clothes and we men don't. It's just this feeling that I'd rather not have. Any suggestions? There's principles? I'd rather not have shame. Is there like an ethos to this?

I don't understand. Women get all the nice clothes? I mean, flower shirts are universal. I don't understand what the deal is. Or, if it was totally accepted, where's the kick? Your apostrophe S truly,

Susie. Alright, well here comes Oopsie Panty again. Yay! I am an anime girl that's peeing myself, and I am gross. Yay! Yay! All it takes is an

ounce of courage to save a bundle buying panties in a store like Target or even Walmart for a cross-dresser or trans person. Just look comfortable as you walk around the lingerie aisle and don't give genetic women a wide birth.

Holy shit, is that their word for women, is genetic women? And this is why berth isn't B-I-R-T-H. Give them a wide berth. Don't let women deliver babies next to you. Yeah. Only give them as much space as they give each other, and you will quickly be accepted by the women. What?

We accept you into our circle here in the bra section. Citation needed. It's just this tribe of women that lives in every Target. They've accepted me as one of their own. Madeline, welcome to the tribe. Now, while the panties at a place like Victoria's Secret might be a little bit nicer,

each panty costs as much as a pack of three to five of them at a lesser store. Porn stores charge the most for lingerie, and I would never buy lingerie at one. Only fun buttons and bumper stickers. That is so fucking backwards. I go to Target to buy my panties to jizz in, but I go to a porn store to buy a button and a bumper sticker?

What the fucking hell? What kind of bumper stickers are you buying at a porn store that you would actually want to put on your car? I stop. I break for cummies. I don't even know. I blow cops. Let's do a poetry break. Oh, where's the poetry?

I didn't see the poetry. That's right here. Alright, Bunnybread, you want to read us some poetry? Let's see here. Yes. Yes, I do. Hello. I'm Necco, yes I do. Hello. I'm Necco, boy or girl. I'm an innocent boy or girl. And I have

20 hearts. I have a strange medical condition. What are you interested in? Oh, everything. Who would you like to meet? Oh, any good person. I'm really selective. How many times have you posted on this fucking forum?

More than you can count. 1,038, I think. Somewhere in that area. And your icon is, what's her face from? Yes, Brett Favre. That's who I am. Yeah, you're Brett Favre. Okay.

That's not Brett Favre. Are you sure? I'm kind of an expert. He's not an anime. Kind of looks like Brett Favre. That's not Brett Favre. Are you sure? I'm kind of an expert. He's not an anime. Kind of looks like Brett Favre's dick. Yeah, I think so. Brett Favre's dick was wearing sneakers and panties. Brett Favre could... Alright.

The love of two nations. Parentheses, parentheses. It is fine, their appearance and age are unknown. Parentheses, parentheses It is fine, their appearance and age are unknown, parentheses, parentheses Oh, okay Oh god, this is It's not illegal if you don't know how old they are Statutory nation rape

We all have plausible deniability here about the things that we write ourselves No, it's important that you specify they're not children because the fandom that it's from Bunnybread, what is the description? Well, I don't know. God, I don't want to read this anymore.

Too bad! Keep going! Description. A Hetalia love poem. Yay, Hetalia fans. Did I pronounce that right? Okay. Yes, fucking racist cartoon about...

Ooh, I didn't know it was racist. All right. Yep. Yeah! There, America and Japan do a dance as one grabs the others undressing each other in a romantic Shakespearean way.

They'll begin to join lips as if were were one. He pulls off his glasses dropping his 45 as Kiku does the same dropping his katana and his suit now. But gone as the undercloths rub gently and smoothly as the Greek statues of them upher.

They make love and spurt. As you can see, this is world diplomacy. There's more. There's more to come, I promise. Yay! That's a good poem. I think Mechaboyer Girl is a poorly programmed bot. Hetalia Bot will write a slash for you

so you don't have to anymore. Hetalia could be its own episode. Oh my god, shut up. Here's a poem. Okay, sorry. That's my fault. I just wanted to point out... FunnyBread's like, please, tell me more.

I would rather talk about that than this, I gotta say. Yeah, in your email you were all like I can take it Alright Kamakua What do you got? My name is Nature Sissy Hi

Mirabai Be from from the Nazis What? No more Nazis Love is stronger Let's be free philosophy Allah Psychedelics everywhere

Not just Sweden Yeah Yoga is real. Anything is possible. I know yoga is possible. Believe. Did you say fairies are real? Yeah.

Okay. Why not? I'll believe. I believe it now. Now that you told me to. Fairy Sufi goddess, peace and love, shrooms! This is my favorite post so far. Yeah, this is the most likable person.

Nobody has diapers on. Nobody's coming. They had diapers on, they're just not talking about it. They don't make so much sense. I think I've written these exact words. Vortex has a response to that. I do. My name is Widdle Whitney.

Aw, Widdle Whitney. Aw, Widdle Whitney. I'm interested in cross-dressing and video game. Wait, just the one? Yeah, it's a cross-dressing video game. Wait, actually, hang on. Before you get to your response, Portex, what would you love to be? I would love to be a not sure at this point.

So would I. I really would too. You're not a girl. You're not yet a woman. Well, if you can't figure it out, then I don't want to meet you because I'd like to meet someone that understands. Oh, of course. Anyway, what do you have in response to that?

Are you high? Yes, obviously! He signed off with peace and love shrooms. Maybe shrooms is the friend that this was sent to. I'm pretty sure Little Brittany is obviously a woman because it says, I am Brittany, her royal puffiness. I am officially in love with the color pink. Hugs

and kisses for all. That's what it takes to convince you. That's totally a girl, right? A man wouldn't write that. That's totally a woman, right? Not a man on this forum. I'm officially in love with the color pink. Comes up in casual conversation a lot. I post on here as

John Wayne's dick. Could you? I will. Boots, do you want to ask us a question? Yeah, I do want to ask a question. It's a very important question. I'm Emily Guylin, and I got a question. It's a poll.

What do you have in your butt right now? Right now? Right now! Right now! Right now. Hold on, let me check the log. What do you have in your butt right now? I'm going to nominate that as potential

episode title A. What do you have in your butt right now? The options are nothing. Are you crazy? Nothing for the moment, but I'm thinking of something. A tampon, because I've got my periods. In the butt?

All of my periods. She's got multiple butt periods. You know, what happens in the life of a young girl is around every time the moon changes, people's butts go through a very natural process. It's like she has a receding... There's nothing to be ashamed of. It's like she has a receding... There's nothing to be ashamed of. It's like she has a receding cunt or something.

Like, it doesn't make any sense. The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of the Recess. It might be more Nancy Drew speed. A tampon for fun, or other purpose. A tampon not for fun, for business. We aren't fucking around here, boys. Put your tampons in and shut up. A butt plug.

Any other toy? Please explain. Like from McDonald's or something? Or something else. Iron Man. You definitely got to tell us. Or something else. Iron Man.

You definitely got to tell us. So you'll probably want to know what the most popular results are. Yeah. What is the most popular result? 35.37% of the people said nothing for the moment, but I'm thinking of something. Well, that's anticlimactic. I'm thinking of a butt plug between 1 and 10. And less than 5% said nothing.

Are you crazy? That was the bottom. That was the lowest score. More than a quarter of them already, at the time of reading this, had a butt plug in. I bet that's not true. What a coincidence!

Yeah. Hey, Boots, you should tell us, maybe you should offer up something personal. Like, what do you have for your butt? Yeah, okay, well, all right. So I was just wondering what's in your butt right now. For me, I've got a tampon right inside me because I've just had anal douche, so it's drying my inside. Oh, well, I didn't mean to share that, but sure.

Never mind. Portex, go down to Ashy. My name is Ashy, I'm a cream tart, and I love to be a me. Oh, that's good. Nobody else wants to be. I've pretty much always got my butt plug in, unless my tummy is mad at me, I get lazy, or I'm sleeping. Blah, I need to find some silicon lube. I doubt you do!

You always have a butt plug inside of you. Don't worry, I have a quote from Final Fantasy VIII, also. I'm all alone, but I'm doing my best. I'll be okay without you, sis. I'll be able to take care of myself. Squall. Junction to buttplug into my ass. Is this another poem?

Kumquat is exclusively Kumquat is the hero of this. Oh my god! Wait, no! This is not good. This person's dressed up as a pork soldier. Oh god. Oh my god. Okay, I am

Diaper Nap. I'm a little newbie. Of course you are. I have a pig costume. He says, I think it's supposed to be a pig mask from Mother 3. He's running around in the forest. It's like some kind of pig superhero. I think it's a pig mask from Mother 3. A man in a pig costume running around in the forest. It's like some kind of pig superhero. I think it's a pig mask from Mother 3.

Can we put this on the episode as one of the pictures? Yes. Guess the context! This is one of the only pictures we'll be able to actually post on the MTV. That pig's gonna come save us. Alright, Victor, what's your poem? Uh poem I star star star star star star star star

Love Infantilism That's what I told her As I boarded the airplane She was piloting She crashed and everyone died That's his text to his mom saying why he got kicked off the plane

oh okay nobody responded for some reason yeah I like that when people like that show up everyone's like you're fucking weird what's wrong with you? I'm with the S19 other post. I'm going to assume the other 18 posts are just that poem over and over and over again

in every part of the forum. Diaper nap. Swimsuits and breasts. Okay. In the mornin'. I am Sissy Kimmy. I'm a liberal sissy. My interests are whatever amuses me.

That makes sense. I think that's true for everybody. Speaking of whatever amuses me, swimsuits and breasts. Being it summer and swimsuit season, I got to thinking, how do sissies wear revealing clothing, a swimsuit top in this case, and have convincing breasts? I unfortunately lack the funding to go anywhere and the body to pull it off convincingly, so I was wondering how those who can pull it off. Also, is there any way to do it with halter tops and other backless clothing?

Stay wet, Sissy Kimmy. What's your sig? Please read your sig. I sort of felt like a sissy. Southern Belle, poopy princess. That should be on a tombstone. I'm pretty sure Sissy Kimmy has the breasts to pull it off, but not the build. Yeah.

Not the body to pull it off, convincingly. Okay. I'm Ichi1014. I'm a curious tyke. I'm interested in anything geeky or sissy. I like to mate AB girls playmates. Any babies needing a parent? I'm actually a little lucky because since I'm kind of fat,

I actually have breasts. But unlucky. Kind of fat. Unlucky in that since I'm in karate, I have muscles too. That's mousseles. I'm also unlucky in that I was... You have muslicks or something like that.

Museles. Yeah, I'm the fourth point on the Saints Row character creator. We all get that reference. What the fuck? That's good. I guess you could try some kid of dilicone mold

like they did for fake breasts. Or if you had the right materials and connections, you could also try ballistics gel like they do on Mithbusters. That stuff simulates human flesh, and I think it would

be perfect for your purposes. This shit is really good at getting shot, so therefore it's the perfect simulation of tits. I want to see the adult baby with ballistics gel glued on her chest. I don't. It simulates the consistency

of flesh, not the look of it. So it's transparent. I want some black jacket boobies, boy. A guy who wants to shit in a diaper in a dress could be a normal human being. Busted. Hi, I'm Lavender. I'm by herself now.

Post your sissy haiku here. This thread can be where we post our sissy haiku. Each post is another sissy's contribution. If you are not familiar with haiku, it's a form of Japanese poetry... About nature. It's about nature, not pissing yourself. My butt period is all about nature.

You stop it. Portak, sit down. And bird knees do not bend backwards. A boring description of haiku, and then, your only limitation is that your haiku must reflect the sissy experience.

I'll start. A sissy's tears fall. Silk panties absorb the whip. A vow to obey. Do the next one, too. Yeah, the next is for you. Here's another one to help get the ball

rolling. Lacy, pink, and snug. Hugging firm, young, round bottoms. Panties on a boy. Victor! Cheerful Pixie!

Baby Pixie. What would you love to be, Cheerful Pixie? I would love to be a goth chick filled with angst. Why must I be so damn cheerful? If only! Number one. Eyes downcast, she waits.

Mummy readies her nappy. Wet little bottom. I feel like also she's wearing a diaper is always the last line of these poems. Also, there's a diaper. Frilly clouds of pink. Wide-eyed and giddy girl. Joy of sissy things. That's my least favorite cookbook.

Sweet mother's loving eyes. She watches her sissy play. Mummy Lavender. Oh, wow, she called you out. No, it's asking him out, maybe? Fucking I don't know. Mummy Lavender. Oh, wow. She called you out. Asking him out, maybe? Fucking I don't know. Yeah, dude, this is a rap battle.

That's passing the mic right there. Alright, Rio, what you got? Well, I know Lavander, but I'm gonna try. By the way, I'm into poetry, anime, and music, and I would love to be a sissy baby girl, which is what we all are, for Christ's sake. I would love to post on this site. Yeah.

God, it's my dream to someday get on the internet. Am not great at haikus, but here goes. Soft and so silky. Warm and breezy underneath. Dress in the summer. That wasn't very fucking good. No, that wasn't good at all. You better bring the heat next time, bitch.

The subject matter of these haikus are disgusting, and they're poorly written, too. Sounded like a radio ad for a beach restaurant. I'm passing the lavender torch over. We don't have to do them all. This is where lavender kicks it up, though. Lavender got served. Shit's about to get real.

Yeah, this is where it turns into the rap battle, Boots. Okay, good. Should I continue? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, take this. Okay. Pink nipples jut out.

Baby pixie suckles life. Mommy's bond of love. Damn shit! No, no, you just didn't. Oh my god, it's over. It's over. Fucking call it off. I think she just called you a little baby.

The director's cut of 8 Mile is really, really weird. It's over. It's over. I think she just called you a little baby. Director's cut of 8 Mile is really, really weird. Don't stop now. You got more. Here's one dedicated to Robin Ann. Yeah, you know you're listening, Robin Ann. Bitch. A crybaby brat

with pink panties wet and cold pouting at the ground. Lavender drops the mic. Alright, the cheerful pixie one gets really great. This one is based on a story Robin Redbottom swore me to see cray, not to tell. Baby tummy hurts. Baa baa make her gassy. Baby makes

windies. What's that? You just wrote a haiku about a baby farting. In first person. What's that? You want more? Well, okay. Silly baby blush.

We tell her secrets to all. Make her blush and squirm. Oh, that was terrible. You kind of should have quit while you were ahead. Never open with a fart poem. I think we're going back down to Rio Baby. No, no. No, no.

No, no. All right. No, no, no, no, no, no. All right. Oh, no. Yeah. Can I just read the haiku from Lavender? Yeah, do it. Totally. Okay.

Pissy baby cries. Stinky diaper toots and hoots. PP legs sissy. Piss! Shit! Shit! Fuck! Damn it! Just gave up.

Syllable and shit. Just gave up. Oh, I'm almost there. Must write another haiku. All right, now it's Ryo. Ooh. Ooh! Wow!

A sissy haiku battle. Dots. So exciting! X and a D. It gets Ryo's blood pumping. Yeah! Gonna try my best. Gamb- Gambate! That's what I said.

It's Japanese stuff. Uh oh. Is it? Is it? And Portak said it. Rio's too urban for this shit. I animate it for you. Gambate! Please don't animate this. Animate this all day. Gambetti.

New soft panties. Warm. Tight around the very cute butts. Sissies forever. Yay! Friendship! Alright, fuck it. I suck at this, but I'm not going to give up.

Rhea will do haiku, she swears. Nods AMD practices like crazy. Okay, Lavender, Rio modified this one. Should be okay, if not, tell me. What the fuck? This is not a very good rap battle. I have no idea what happened there. You had a little psychotic break.

Alright, we're going down to Sissy Becky. That's what to say, Sissy Becky's second one. My rank is Superman in pink with little angel wings. There's a couple things that I like. I like tarot, electronic music, and pee. But like the letter P. Not urine, that would be gross. Not in a classy form like this this I love to be a seriously dominated

sissy but who'd you like to meet oh friends I'll be there for you when the rain starts to fall is this like in the avatar is like a drawing of a little girl going to the dentist or having a fire extinguisher

shoved in her face? Anyway, I got two haikus I want to bring to you. Here's haiku number one. I don't seem to understand how this works, but alright, here we go. Warm, slender bottle. Lick, hyphen, hyphen. Suck, hyphen, hyphen.

Taste brown rubber nipple. Sweet formula. That's kind of a cop-out. With all those hyphen, hyphen. Taste brown rubber nipple. Sweet formula. That's kind of a cop-out. With all those hyphens, that was a lot of extra syllables. It's also, yeah, it's not enough on the last one either. They're just like, oh, we're writing three lines about bottles. That's fine. Practice one.

Practice one. Here we go. Next one. Next one, I'm going to bring it. Fear and a gag strap deep in your mouth, veggie beef. Force feeding bottle. Deep in your mouth. Oh, crap.

I need three more syllables. I like how the way you read it, it's like you were calling the audience veggie beef. Oh, my God. Can I read the next Cheerful Pixie? Yeah. What? I had an attack of Sissy Slut and just had to get it out of my system.

Put a wall in his mouth! Scent of male skin. Sound of zipper going down sissy goes to work oh no sissy just turns around and walks and says alright I'll see you in five that's my alarm it's capitalized

so I'm assuming it's the character from Rescue Rangers and not an actual zipper alright so Bunnybread we understand that you're a very brave and wonderful person and as such we have volunteered you days ago

to read the last thing we're going to read It is an opus It is something you will never forget Godspeed, sir So by the last thing we're going to read you mean the last thing we're ever going to read ever forgets. God speed, sir. By the last thing we're going to read, you mean the last thing we're ever going to read ever because we're all going to kill ourselves?

We're going to stab our eyes out. Everybody has their cyanide pill ready, right? Yeah. F plus Harry Carey right here. How's the F plus been doing? They're all...

They're, you know, not. What F plus? I don't know what you're talking about. I've never been involved in anything called F plus. All right. Okay. Well, anyways, I'm Panda Go Lucky. Hi.

I'm a widdle newbie. I have 21 posts and I have nothing of interest whatsoever. Good. Well, then I'm sure this will be really short. Yeah. I really don't have much to say on this matter, or any matter. My full day as a baby girl.

Description, by the way. It's a true story of my day as a baby girl. Oh, well, the fact that it's true will make it more charming, I bet. That's true. Today has been a very intense sub slash regression day for me, little Caitlin.

And I'm going to type about what me and my mommy have done today. You should not weed this if you don't want to weed about water sports, public play, AIDS play, certification, or anal. Okay, well, I don't want to read about it, so I guess I'll read it. That was a long time of you sticking with your voice. Well, I figured the worse it got, the more I had to become someone else. I'm going to cut off that personality after this.

By the way, when Bunny Bird's reading all of these, to the listener, when Bunny Bird's reading all of these extra W's, those are actually in the text. Yeah. Which make him charming, I think. Charming. Baby Caitlin had a, I think. Yeah. No. It doesn't. Charming. No.

Scary. Baby Caitlin had a day off from work today. When she woke did it up, Mommy was still sleepy, so Baby Caitlin went into the shower room to take a shower. She got all clean, and then when she came out, Mommy Master was awake. Mommy, so she went in to shower. And then she went and Baby got a text message that said to put her girl clothes on, but no diaper. And that we were going out to the mall.

Babies cannot get text messages. Suspension of disbelief is shot here. No, because that was the answer to the question of what's in your butt right now. Hang on, I'm getting a text. Okay, we'll get back to me, I guess. Sure, whatever. Baby Caitlin and Mommy have not come out

together since we moved it. Oh, flum. Move what? I'm sorry, you sent you what? Baby Caitlin and Mommy have not gone out together since we moved in from Montaway. When I was called Ash-woo-wee. Ash-woo-wee. Ash-woo-wee. Because Mommy says Monta-ray people.

I mean, we're throwing in the R's and the L's. The list has kind of come and go here. I take speech therapy. Go in and out of like an adult voice whenever they remove the W. Okay. Because mommy says Monterey people were more accepting of baby, and San Angelo people aren't. Baby Kate win.

I picked that name out because I likes it No Sarah Other reasons but you can't think of them right now Because mommy has been making her head All small and fuzzy She's a witch doctor? Now I can't watch that show anymore either Thanks Bunny Bread

If that's the worst thing that you get from this episode That you can't watch a TV show. Anyway, this was our first time going out here. And Mommy was so nervous, so Baby got really nervous, too. Baby put her good girl plug in her tushy. What? Wait, what? Her good girl plug. Not tushy. What? Wait, what? Her good girl plug.

Not the angry plug. Oh, the angry plug is a spike and it's connected to an AC adapter. Oh, God. I put a sex toy in my tushy. Yep. Baby put her good girl plug in her tushy, which I used to hate and fight with

Mommy about, but now I love, love, love, love, love love it and it is my favorite thing after that baby went into the fetish closet she put all of her makeup was doing my wig hair and started getting dressed it is then mommy was all clean too and so i said her to put the nail polish on my nails and so they'd be all pretty and she did because she loves me by the time mommy was doing my wig hair though i was getting really really scared really real we scared really? Oh my god. I can't even. Okay. By the time Mommy was doing my wig hair though, I was getting really scared.

Because that's how baby Caitlin That's me. Yeah, when she has to go out in public. We got in the car and I was shaking. I think Mommy was scared too. Mommy said we were going to go to Hot Topic and Victoria's Secret. But we only went to Hot Topic because we got skew-dicted.

You know, normal people don't have to be scared of going to the mall and going into stores. Well, I'm scared of going into Hot Topic, but for different reasons. Well, now I am too. There's even a millionth percent of a chance that this person is a Hot Topic. Well, no, we can't go into Hot Topic. It's just a crippling fear. When we were

there, we got some bad looks, but we met a new fed wife person and she was very nice to me and hugged me and mommy and she was pretty. I bought her the new micro skirt which I I'm wearing, and fishnets. That's not appropriate clothing for a baby. She changes age throughout the story.

They were both very pretty, and I was very happy that she would help me be less nervous because when we walked to the car, then Mommy took me there there and she told me that i was gonna have to wet myself before it's the opposite of mothers do what mothers do someone's got a clean diaper because when we walked to the car that mommy took me there and she told me i was gonna have to wet myself before i got home with her and then i had to be good and listen which i've never done before

but mommy had been stroking my head and petting me the whole way there and saying regressive things i know that word. Yeah, because all the kids know that word. Yeah, the thing is, we-gressive. So, like, it wasn't we-gwessive. So, really, I get it started. Okay, so we-gressive. It used to be, it had me put my hypnotape back on

my phone for the car ride over. And it just felt like I had to listen to you when we got the car. I stood in the parking lot and wet myself. It's like this guy went to the fetish buffet and said, I'll have all of that, please. Just loading up

his tray. I get this to go. The KFC famous bowl of fetish. Yes. Some people saw and they made mean faces but mommy let me get right in the car after and we went home and she strapped me down

and fucked me and let me make sissy milk which I don't get to do much. You heard me. Some people saw and they made mean faces but mommy let me get right in the car after and we went home and

she strapped me down and fucked me and let me make sissy milk which i don't get to do much yay you read that twice i'm gonna say what again but i don't want you to read that again i understand completely what you just said and then we made sissy milk which i don't get to do much. You got it? I was very happy, and then we went and saw Paranormal Activity 3. Oh, God. It was good and scary. That was the scary thing that I encountered that day.

They made a third one of those? Gross. Gross. They made a third one of those? Gross. After we got home, Mommy had me put my plug back in and put me down for a sippy nap with my hypnosis tapes on, which was a bad idea. When I woke up, I was super, super bad girl wet, and Mommy said I should try my new outfit on, so I wear it now. And I put my makeup back on, and she let me have my diapers,

which make me feel safe. And then she teased me for about an hour. Oh, you're wearing diapers. I just doubt that this is a real story. I think that should have said tased. You haven't wet yourself enough. Mommy likes to push my plug in and out and in and out so I squeal but I don't really squeal I think I am good and quiet. Alright and and now comes the sentence that's the entire reason we're doing this episode. No, no, wait, no. This is literally the whole reason we're doing this episode.

Oh, God. This is like all the Pokegirls wrapped up in one for me. I gave Mommy Head and a whim job and waited for permission to swallow both sides. Because that's what good little Caitlyn does. Yes, she does. Whim job! That which does not kill me makes me worse.

How do you wait for permission to swallow a rim job? I don't want to know. Let's just get through this. Yeah, it gets better from here. I think swallow was supposed to be like ShamWow, and that's what they used to mop it all up. Well, that kind of ruins it

for me. And then Mommy said I was so good, she'd let me watch Sprite It Away with her, and lay on her, and she gave me a lot of sippies. The first three were water, and then she gave me a lot of sippies the first three were water and then she gave me a sippy of mommy's pee and spit is there adult baby protective services

i used to hate those sippies and it took me a long time to drink them, but they have become my favorite, and I drank that one really, really fast. I don't remember when I wet, but Mommy checked and said that I had wet a lot, and I thanked her for letting me be in diapers. I asked her if she wets too. And she reminded me about the potty. And I felt a little bit too dumb because my head was fuzzy

to where I had forgotten, but then I remembered. What? Right. After that, Mommy wet me cuddle on her some more, and then she pulled my nappies down a little and fucked me for a little bit. Oh.

Oh. Victor's sad. Come here, Victor. Let me give you a hug. We're just gonna hold each other for the rest of the day. No. Not until after I've had my shower. Victor's not into physical human contact anymore.

So they fucked it for a little bit. For sure. But when Stop, Whenever, Baby was almost to making sissy milkies, Mommy said she came, and she let me lick it up, which was the bestest ever, that she played with her pink penis toy, and I got to suck on that too, which I loved, and it made me think of boys.

Then we were going to watch more Spill What's In The Way, which I am liking, but I told Mommy I wanted to type this even if it's kind of hard to make sense in this headspace. This is minutes after. This is what I think is happening.

Some of the letters are just capitalized. I bet if we put these all together it says, help me. Here's an address. Mother Mother Tell your children not to walk my way Tell your children not to hear my words What they mean, what they say And there we go. Around about an hour of your life, you probably want back.

Bunny Bart, what did you learn this week? Well, I learned a little bit about puberty. I learned that these fellas right here, they wanted no part of it whatsoever, and good for them, somehow. I learned that... Good for them is not an expression I think that you should ever use.

In some world, this is probably... Oh, shit, I don't know. I struggle to find something nice to say. Anything that's good for them is bad for us. But more about puberty, I learned that it really hasn't affected me that much because i can go back to my prepubescent voice anytime i want thanks to my wittle whim job weeding yeah well that's a that's a skill i don't know uh if you're you know if

you're if you're right now looking for a little bit more voice actor work but if you are oh yeah you know i feel like sissy kiss is a good thing to put on your demo reel i feel like i feel like Sissy Kiss is a good thing to put on your demo reel. I feel like a lot of airline companies are probably going to want your reading of Wim Jobs. Please quiet if we're the least guys. And I have learned that there's still stuff that can break me. I think that F+, we kind of go around it a lot, sort of different topics and some stuff that's more silly and some stuff that's more kind of severe

and it's all kind of on its own merit but man, there are the odd episodes that... Just hit you in the fucking face with a brick. Yeah, just so amazing. We want to thank everyone who leaves comments on the website, thefpl.us.

We also want to thank everyone for restraining in comments of, where the fuck's the new episode? Because it did take us a couple weeks this time. We apologize. But you'll understand. I mean, now you do anyways. Right, exactly. You know, sometimes maybe you want to edit

this episode and then maybe you just don't really kind of have the stomach for it yeah but please do keep leaving comments and liking us on the facebook and you can do it on the google plus now uh you know keep in contact with us uh feed our egos because uh we're a little malnourished goddamn right have a good one we'll see you next week. Good night. Good night. I've changed my mind, Portex. Please animate the sissy kiss rap battle. Nope, never happening. You know why? Because that would require Portex to listen to this ever

again yeah like you haven't you haven't any how many hundreds of times i had to listen to the internet computer thing i'm not listening to this even as we're reading it she cut her ears off about an hour ago she's on autopilot yeah