The F Plus - 64: Ignorance of the Law is My Excuse

Episode Date: December 15, 2011

There's a number of laws we all understand: Murder is illegal pretty much everywhere, as is theft and assault. We all recognize that, but then there's always gray areas. Does a schoolyard fight count as assault? Is it truly theft is it's not a physical object? And is murder justified if the person you just killed was talking about how funny last week's Big Bang Theory was? Legal experts have a difference of opinion, and as a country ages, laws get more and more complex. The finer points become less clear to the country's citizens, in particular the citzens who are also idiots. This week, The F Plus makes a protein shake with iguana meat.

File a nice big fat lawsuit for violating you civil rights. Boing! I'm just going to modify that sentence right here. Now read it. File a nice big fat lawsuit for violating you civil rights. Boing! super violating you civil rights crazy hey there this is the F Plus Podcast. My name's Lemon. And I'm John.

And John, when we're recording today, I just want you, if there's a knock at the door, don't answer it. Just gotta shut up. Don't pretend there's nobody here. Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay, I'm on the lam. Okay?

Really? I'm hiding out. i'm worried there's going to be some police attention and you know i'm worried i don't want to go to jail well what did you do i've done some things man well what are these things okay you really want me to go through okay so okay okay i know i shouldn't be smoking but but i had a cigarette and i don't know if that's okay but but then I was done with the cigarette. I think that's legal. It was in a trash can, so I just threw...

Just fucking threw the butt on the floor. I was like, screw you, butt. And I threw it on the street. And then about two blocks later, I saw a cop car. And I think he knew. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So I'm a little worried. I mean, that's not the only, and that's not the only thing. That's not the only thing. I was in a car, and I had this orange. Okay. And I was going to eat the orange, but then I was like, oh, I won't eat the orange quite yet. So I waited to eat the orange, and then all of a sudden, before I knew it, bang! We were in Wisconsin.

I crossed state lines with an orange in the car. So, I'm probably a felon at this point. I see what you need. You're not sure if these things are legal or not. Well, no, I'm really not sure. I'm scared, though. You know what? What's that?

Do you think the internet would have the solution to your problem? Probably not. There's idiots on that thing. You are correct. We went to this forum, Is It Legal To?, and we read some things. And they didn't know either, so I guess you're SOL. All right, let's get to the readers. In the room tonight, we have stog is it legal to dip my dick in tomato sauce and

then have my dog lick off that sauce I hope it is it's fun is it legal to paint a fire hydrant pink if I don't use lead based paint boots ring here is it legal to wrap any of the members of the Traveling Wilburys in cling film? Only one. John?

Is it legal to think about vaginas? Vortex? Dear Electron Blast, thanks for the subscription to National Fuckagraphic. And Lemon. Is it legal? Oh, I forgot what I was gonna say All right. All right, John, start us off here.

Okay. This is from California. This is California law. My name is Blenderist411, and I'm law curious. Blenderist? You're not the poserist. You're Blender. Is it legal to take back a gift?

Frowny face. I'm 16 years old, and one day my stepdad drank a little, then got into an argument with my mom, and I told him to calm down, and he'd get very angry and took away my gift. He gave me on my birthday, which is an iPod and took it away from me. I won't give it back.

Is it legal to very poorly phrase sentences? No, listen. Let me ask the question. Is it legal for him today to that? That thing, yes, no? And what kind of action should I do? And the response, none.

Blenderist 411 has collectively stumped all the legal experts in California. I feel like that's funny. Since they all checked this forum. All right. Somebody should just be like, is it an iPod Touch or a Classic? All right, Boots, you're next. Okay. This is from New Mexico.

New Mexico right here. All right. Oh, thanks, New Mexico. Hi, I'm too tall. Eaten reptiles. Is it illegal in the United States to bring green iguana for the purpose of eating? It is a

very protein-rich meat. Which means he's already eaten one, obviously. That is actually part of the distinction of whether or not it's legal to eat an animal. Meats have to be above a certain protein level. This was a light bulb style question as opposed to a frowny face style question. I like the emoticons.

He wanted a hungry smiley, but it wasn't available. All right, Isfahan, take us to Alabama. Alabama. My name is Alabama. Alabama. My name is Alabama01Man. I live in Linden Alley. I have five posts and I want to know about

babysitters. Not sitters. People that place babies places. No, the dog. The dog, I'm sure. What age is it legal for a teenager to babysit is 12 and a 13 year old to young to babysit by state of alabama dhr can they sit there on laws for babysitter my oldest daughter used babysit at 11 years old but that being 13 years ago, can a 11-year-old babysit in Alabama? Is it

a law they have to be 14 to 15 to babysit? The HR says that. See, if you're wondering why that sentence cut off, that's when somebody walked in the room. It's like, Grandpa, are you on the computer? You got to turn off caps. You know what? Just give it to me. Get out of here. Go watch a video show.

You do internet, son. It's so illegal they actually broke down his door and arrested him while he was still typing the post. Quit babysitting. All right, we're going to do another one from Alabama. This one actually has responses, though. So Isfan, you're going to start us off. Is it illegal to? Well, that's a good question on the site, is it legal to? Is it illegal to? Well, that's a good question on the site.

Is it legal to? Is it illegal to? Yeah, so you're just flipping the script, dude. Is it illegal to pay people to have sex on Phil in Alabama? I remember hearing about it being illegal to sell sex toys. I am just wondering if it was... Five days later. Yeah, five days later.

With no response. I am just wondering if it was against the law. Some has to know. He's actually right about the sex toys thing. The sale of sex toys is illegal in Alabama, so it would be really strange if sex toys were illegal but pornography was fine.

And then 12 days after that does anyone know if this post is legal or what how about it judge do you know as in the opposite of yes i'm not going to start a star star star star bus in alabama my friend and i have a bet and i'm an msaian that it is okay to do so in Alabama. So, Pools, help me out. Thanks, smiley face. I'm not going to help you out until you start a fuck bus like you said you would. He has a bet with a judge in a court of law.

That's actually how it works in Alabama. I bet you it's fine. I bet you it ain't. Toes. I bet you it's fine. I bet you it ain't. Toes. You are correct in that it is illegal to sell certain items like the Trojan Touch,

and others must be sold as novelties or massagers. I would think that using the words pain and sex in the same sentence would make it illegal. Smiley face. Yes, but what I meant was, incorrect comma, can you make star, star, star, star in Alabama and it be legal as an eagle with an L in front of it? Even if the people in the movie have signed consent forms and are of age. There was a reference to check the spelling of the word legal on this website. If I could just

see it once. Hi, I'm Kevin of 09. I think there is no one set of laws that apply to the distribution, purchase and possession of internet star star starography. Starography. Like out porn?

Yeah. I guess that's censored. Unless it's not called fucking. Fuckography. Fuckography. Let's just assume it's fuckography. Okay. The possession of internet fuckography.

Only the laws of one's home nation apply with regard to distributing or possessing internet fuckography. Only the laws of one's home nation apply with regard to distributing or possessing internet fuckography. Sure, why not? I like that. There's no reason that they'd censor a porn, right? The word porn. Alright.

I'm doing this next one here. This is also from California. My name's Jamk204. Jamk. And then John set me straight with Zool Tigger. Alright. Is it legal to tell a meter maid

to foff? To foff? To foff? I apologize in advance for the ramble. I hate the Santa Monica ticket Nazis. Those scumbags who drive around in little golf carts giving tickets to everyone.

Just everyone. Seriously, Ray. It's like Rip Taylor throwing them around. Everyone gets a ticket. Seriously, I once got a ticket from parking too far from the curb. I even paid the meter.

Right. I got a ticket for doing something illegal. I did something else legally, though. Tired of these meter maids doing their job. Last month, I got a $60 ticket for parking on the wrong side of the street.

Well, why don't they just give me the death penalty? Why don't they? Why don't they just shoot me on the sidewalk as I just get out of my car? Anyway, I'm curious to know if I could get in trouble if I pull alongside one of these traffic cops and tell them to F off. I'm so tempted to do this whenever I see them. Just wondering if they could give me a ticket for some bogus, disturbing

the peace type law. Yeah, that's not the law that they would ticket you for, no. Thanks for listening! Wait, so he's just not telling a meter maid who's ticketing his car to F off. He's just pulling up to one that's doing their job and just saying that.

Yeah, pretty much. Okay. Also, Jamf, what is your status? What's your title on this site? Oh, my title? Hang on, I closed the window. Okay, I'm a senior legal forum partner. I've posted in this forum 880 times.

Put that on your resume, senior legal forum partner. If you don't know it's legal or not by now, you're never going to know. I mean, the site isn't doing you any good, JemCatool4. All right, so ZoolTigger,

set me straight. Not smart. What? Meter maids are officials enforcing parking laws. Although you might feel better momentarily, it is not smart to verbally abuse enforcement personnel or anyone for that matter. The person you offend is probably not the one who wrote you a citation,

and they might have friends who could make days of your life very unpleasant. Well, I hated that show anyway, so it doesn't really matter to me. You will never watch this. While you're watching your stories, they just keep throwing bricks through your window. Sand through the hourglass. This is your prison sentence. I see vehicles illegally parked many times when

I need a space. I choose not to park illegally next to them. With my luck, I would be fined. Read your California driving book again and try to follow the rules. You might get fewer tickets.

If you feel a citation is not in order, take some pictures of the scene, statements from some witnesses, and fight the ticket in court. No, this had nothing to do with my question! My question was, can I tell meermates to F off? He's providing alternatives.

He's trying to be helpful. Yeah, you wouldn't be so mad at them because they would stop ticketing you if you just followed the fucking rules. Zool Tigger is the voice of reason. Alright, let's see. Next up, what do we got here? We got...

Oh, man. Whew, okay. Let's see. Next up. What do we got here? We got... Okay. Oh, man. Okay. Boots. Take us to Tennessee. Oh, shit. I like the frowny face in front of it. Alright.

This is a frowny face question. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Liarwar. What's your title? What would you call yourself? Law Curious. Oh, dear. In high school, I just, you know, I got together some law, and I'm just...

Everybody's experimenting with law in college. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I practice law a bit with my roommate. I do not consider legal and illegal a binary agreement. I'm legal fluid. I just wanted to try some bar, man. It was just one time.

That made no sense. Nope. Alright, I got something important to talk about. Okay. Fired for showing star, star, star, star although female started first. What? Since we already decided star, star, star means fuck.

Right. Fired for showing fuck. In every circumstance? Yeah, every time. I was fired for showing fuck. Okay. I was fired for showing fuck. Okay. I was fired for showing fuck on my phone. True, but the female was

giving me sexual gestures. What? What does that mean? She was doing the dick sucking. Oh, she was doing the mime blowjob action? Yeah. She wasn't showing you her ass. She was walking away really fast. That wasn't presenting.

Thanks for showing me that. Much like a lady baboon. She wanted to show me she was in heat. True my fault and I should have filed as in to ward down. Me and my fault should have gone to the law office.

Yeah, to smooth my nails. Sorry, true my fault and I should have filed first. Instead she did and now so I am fired. What? Do I still have any legal rights and now being denied unemployment?

Am I eligible for anything? No, you're not eligible. No, you're eligible. Oh, sorry. Am I eligible for anything? I read're not eligible. Shithead of the year award. No, you're eligible. Oh, sorry. Am I eligible for anything? I read that as eligible. Yeah, eligible. This is kind of a blank statement. I'll do it again.

Am I eligible for anything? I think that's pretty good. That's pretty good. This is kind of a blanket statement for everyone in this forum, but no, none of you are eligible for anything. I was being an asshole, and then they told me to stop. Alright, Stog, you have two

questions for us, also from Tennessee. Oh, cool, I'm from Tennessee. Two questions in a row. I think that's the first time those two sentences have been said together at the same time. Oh, cool, I'm from Tennessee. I just want to ask a question about the last one, because it says denied

unemployment. Is the word unemployment sort of like a blanket sort of term for unemployment insurance? Yeah. He was denied being unemployed. They forced him to get another job. No! We can't lose a gem like you. Get back in.

You're fired. Now go back to work. Here it's called employment insurance, and people just normally say EI. Yeah, no, unemployment is the opposite. All right. Here's something about lasers. Is it legal to own a 50 milliwatt green laser?

Nope. Only the orange ones. Jonathan, what do you mean by that? More of what I mean is is it legal to use a green laser recreationally? Not to harass or anything.

Is it legal to use it legally? Is it legal to use it recreationally? Yeah, you know, I don't actually have a prescription for a green laser, but you know What if I just want to point it at ladies' asses as they walk by in the park? What if you're using it for your job?

Also, I'm not sure what MW is because it's millis-something Well, the W is definitely Watt. Maybe it's a 50 mile wide green laser. Look, if you don't stop that, we're never going to go watch the movie 8 Megamile. All right.

Now we're going to Kentucky. Oh, cool. I'm Sweetie. And I have a question mark question. Sure. Yeah. Fired in a state of emergency. Hello.

Hi. Hi. Hi. What's up? About three weeks ago, Kentucky, where I live, had a terrible ice storm. It was bad enough that the state issued a state of emergency. I'm not sure as to why I am here. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Philosophy questions have to be routed elsewhere. She's not sure why she's here on the forum. Oh, okay. No, I'm pretty sure she doesn't know why she exists. But during that state of emergency, my husband's, multiple husbands, employers, which is possessive. I think she missed the mark with that apostrophe there. Yeah, it's a rogue apostrophe.

My husband's employers fired him. Isn't that illegal? Wait, so your actual question is, there was a state of emergency, and while that was happening, my husband got fired. Nobody is allowed to be fired during a tornado. The roads in Kentucky were icy for a day. He's like, thank God. I'm working for another day at least. Excuse me, John.

Could you come into my office? Oh, wait. Hang on. It's raining. Come back in a couple hours. Picture the boss like, you're fired. And then the air sirens go right there. Damn it!

Next time, Gadget. All right, John, you wanna... Well, I was going to fire you for showing that girl fuck on your phone, but I guess... Anyways. So, it's Patrick. This is Patrick. No, there is no ban

on firing someone during a state of emergency nor on a cloudy day, nor when the state fair is in progress. Okay, thanks, bye. I like that little bit of snark there. Yeah, even Patrick knows this is pretty dumb. I like how you busted out your best Patrick voice for it. Thank you.

I'm a regular on isillegal2.com and you're dumb. Okay, TraceMitter in Florida, he has a question that he wants to ask you Is it legal to drive nude? Or while gratifying yourself? I'm sorry if this is too adult in nature

For some on these forums Space hyphen space hyphen space Moderators Feel free to delete this message if in your discretion it is in bad taste and i apologize for posting it thanks so can i jerk off while driving and then apologizes for four sentences in a row after that oh oh god oh Isfahan. Oh, this one's... Oh, my God. Okay. We are... Oh, this is in the

should be illegal. So it's broken down all 50 states, right? And then there's like a Canadian one and there's this should be illegal. This is from the this should be illegal. Good luck with that one. This is so good.

Hi, I'm a bud and my name's Sam Perkins. My name is Sam Perkins and I have a question mark not even charged. I have a bud who was told, let it be, a local law enforcer that he'll grab you by five hat long ass hair throw her ass off this porch then he'll lock her ass up i don't give uh i don't give about who

now who answered the question mark thing is yep no for, the three ants. He was gone at time of alleged activity. What? Told they'd go away regardless. Cousin, 11-year-old felon. How's it okay to threaten bodily

if he don't tell him the right effing ants right now? Yeah! How can rehist behavior letter B okay? Pulse help. I don't think I can help you. Yeah, I think you're beyond our help,

Sam Perkins. Okay, first of all, the letter E key on your keyboard is located between the W and the R. All right, this is actually, I found another one by Sam Perkins, so... He only has two posts. Ask this question too, please. in the R. This is actually, I found another one by Sam Perkins. He only has two posts.

Ask this question too, please. My name is Sam Perkins and this represents the entirety of my presence on Is It Legal Too? My vet told me where to buy a shot kids room. Hard to get with coronavirus though. What?

Why are you kidding? If you share beer bottles, you might get with coronavirus, though. What? Why are you kidding? If you share beer bottles, you might get the coronavirus. Comes with live immunization culture. Syringe with tip. Easy illustrated directions. Any farm supply store. Ask clerk if they carry five or seven ways or doggies. At symbol here, about $8.99.

Not bad costs on net, though. Remember to never recap. Use syringes and burn spent vials and rig. Biohazard. What the hell are you talking about? You know, I think what we're reading is a spam bot with Alzheimer's. Enter 5B

Agro... I don't remember anything. Bigger penis 5-7. Help people? Yeah, I guess the original question was someone just wanting to know if it was legal to give rabies shots to their own dogs. And that was the response.

My name is Sam Perkins and I'm the only person who decided to respond to you. My condolences. I didn't notice that this was a responsive person. I just see Reb Kirby asking an actual question. I don't think Sam Perkins needs much to get himself going.

I just picture Rev Kirby. I'll give this side a try. Oh, huh? Never mind. I don't think this is where I need to go for legal advice. All right. Get done. It's dog.

That's something for you here. Growing kick. Oh, someone tells you to kick him in the groin. In exchange for money. Is it illegal if to kick him in the groin in exchange for money, is it illegal if you kick him? Make sure you get paid up front. Please answer promptly! Under which conditions may I commit assault?

Fruxel, who's a legal forum associate, answers, No, but it won't be illegal for him to have arrested for battery if it turns out to not be as much fun as he originally thought. One more time, because that's a good sentence. Like, I was going to say that it's wrong, but it's kind of not enough of a sentence to be wrong. That's how the crazy lawyers speak. That's how they get you. No, but it won't be illegal for him to have you arrested for battery if it turns out to not be as much fun

as he originally thought. If you cause permanent injury or serious injury or serious permanent injury or permanent serious injury, you could be arrested even if the other person consented. Zoltigger's got a good post after that, too.

Zoltigger comes back? Zoltigger comes back like what? Almost a year later. John, bring it up. I got more to say. Release. You might want to have an attorney draft a release of liability

to have the receiver sign and be witnessed. You understand this is a situation where one dude's kicking another dude in the balls. You realize that? I would love to see going to a lawyer's office and drafting up a ball-kicking contract. I would love to see that.

Even if I wasn't in that situation, I would ask for a lawyer to do that. Look, Zool Tigger knows what he's doing, and the obvious solution is to bring contract law into getting kicked in the nads. An unwitnessed oral contract could end up being unenforceable. Well, I guess Zool Tigger knows what he's talking

about. I am not an attorney. So don't ask me. So do I have to kiss him in the mouth before I kick him in the balls? Is this how this works? So Tigger's like, my advice was so good, people might think I'm a lawyer. I'm going to put that in the bud.

Alright, we're going to get pretty sexy now. Sexy! Bring the sexy. Bring the sexy. You're Nancy France. And Stog is Emal, so this is going to be very sexy. Yeah. You're Nancy France. Nancy France. And stog is email. So this is going to be very sexy.

Nude text. Ooh. This is a paper question. Oh. Yeah. Is it legal for an ex-boyfriend to text nude pictures of his ex-girlfriend, three separate things, to all of the people they knew, and then some. She asked him to postpone the wedding, and he retaliated by

texting nude pictures of her to everyone he knows. What the fuck? Oh my god. That's gross. Okay, postpone, maybe not a strong enough word. You'll never postpone a marriage now. I'm sorry.

Honey. For an October wedding. Fuck you! Honey, I just need to wait a couple months. Everybody's gonna see your tits now, bitch. Also, I love you. My dad's in the hospital and I just feel like now

might not be the right time. Well, your dad's about to see you sucking dick! He did not have her permission to show those pictures to anyone and took them under her protest. What? Whoa. She was marching on Wall Street as he was taking naked photos of her.

So, he's just like, yeah, you're naked. I'm going to take pictures of you. Stop. No. Stop. Stop pointing that camera at me. This seems like a serious issue. I hope that Stog has really good advice for you. It's 100% legal.

I know because I've done it quite a few times yes Stog but what does the post say so yeah so Stog was posting his username Emal and I found another another question he answered oh shit

there it is. There it is. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay, Stog, I need you to answer this question that I have. I just have this question. Okay. Yeah, whatever. Oh, okay. I'll start with a question for you.

It's a fucking question. Hi, I'm... I got things to do. Hi, I'm questioning to ask the question. Oh, okay. I'm going to ask the question for you. That's a fucking question. I get things to do. Hi, I'm questioning Lili. Stop questioning her. Okay. I have a question mark question. Is it legal to mail yourself? What do you mean?

Like, you know, well, okay. I'm curious if you placed yourself in a box with breathing holes somewhere and food and water and stayed really quiet, would you get arrested if they caught you? Yeah, duh. I'd try to join that myself. And my girlfriend. Cuts through the bullshit.

Thanks, Emil. His answers are wrong, but they're so prompt. Emil. He's like, Emil. You say prompt, but they're so prompt. Email. He's like, email. That's spelled wrong. You say prompt, but he waited seven months. Well, okay. I don't know when you go to the coffee shop, the local coffee shop, what kind of flyers you see.

But I have a question for you. Can I solicit a baby for adoption? In order to circumvent the lengthy process of going through the county, and because private adoption is too costly, I'm wondering if I can hand out cards that have my name and phone number on it, saying that I'm looking for a baby to adopt. At the end of a job interview. Please have them call me.

Is this legal? At the end of a job interview she just gives out a card with cut to the employer name on it do you have any babies they can adopt number so I'm going through the county and I'm sure they're just like not doing anything like Oh screening for potential murderers or unfit parents. Yeah. So I guess it's, do you consent to me kidnapping your child? Also, Craigslist and newspaper classifieds would be a much better way of approaching this.

Yeah, but it's so much less personal. I like that personal touch. Baby number four SWF. Alright, Boots, take this one. This is from California. California. California. California's delivering the goods. Hi.

Hi, I'm Jared. Jared, do you have a question? Yeah, I've got a document type question. Okay. What is it? Want to know! Uh-huh. Yeah, what do you want to know?

Is it illegal to follow someone home? Yes! I like to picture Boots' neighbors walking outside his window and they hear that and they're the same neighbors who heard him with his rant about butt sex and porn. Let's wash a little brisker, darling. All right. Isfahan, take us to Maryland, please.

My name is Rupert Pupkin. And I choose to believe that that is a reference to the webcast of the 2000s. I hope Rupert Pupkin doesn't try to follow me home. This is a friendly chimney sweep asking a question here. I had a crazy idea. Is it illegal to stand on the side of the road with a sign containing

profanity? Is it illegal to stand on the side of the road, i.e. in public, and hold up a sign that contains profanity in the state of Maryland? Other states? In another state, is he going to

drive all the way to where it's legal? I love this sign, man! I'm going to make this happen. My message of shitballs must be seen. What if you just want to stand on the side of the road and hold up a sign that simply says, fuck you?

Could you get arrested for that? What if? If you couldn't, if you could, wouldn't that be violating your right to free speech? Would it violate someone else's right to not want to see that? Oh, and just for the record, the guy who responds to him, his name is Judge, and he has 1,500 posts. My name is Judge. What kind of name is that magazine?

My name is. He's like, wow, I can't believe I got this name. Alright, John, we're going to skip the juggalos. We'll get to those later. Really? Yes. Did we get some firsts for this podcast?

Polo-age. Polo-age. Normally we dive straight into the juggalos. Yeah. Well, what is a juggalo? Face first into the shame. Polo-egg class info. Polo-egg class info colo egg class info what law does your state colo egg class info

well so what's your name my name is pen rose yeah that's that's an accurate pronunciation of that. What law does your state have regarding partner notification for HIV, AIDS, and other sexually transmitted infections? Kolo egg class info.

These really are the worst advertising bots ever This is my only post I don't know what that I don't get it What was he going to accomplish here? I'm guessing what this person My guess is this person had a college class

about and wanted to write a paper about state laws regarding notification for HIV and AIDS and deciding instead of researching it decided to go here and ask everyone and then they could be like oh yeah I got all these. That makes me want to see what their final paper looked like.

Oh wait you can like this? That's pretty good. Well look that makes sense if he's in a college class but he's in a colo-egg class. He's asking people from Mississippi. He's that makes sense if he's in a college class, but he's in a colo-egg class. He's asking people from Mississippi. He's not from Mississippi. He's just asking them what their state has regarding... Maybe this was like a textbook question. What law does Mississippi have regarding...

I need the answer to number five. All right, Isvan? My name is Beanie Baby 250. You're an angry Beanie Baby. And I have a paper question. Can the school control how I cut my son's hair? Angry face.

I received a note from the school stating that I have to cut my son's hair because it has a design in it. It is not offensive to anyone and isn't racially motivated. They say that it isn't a part of the dress code. I feel as if they're violating his first

and fourteenth amendment rights. Please help anyone. Hopefully me. Alright, Bootsots this one's yours alright also from Mississippi Mississippi's Mississippi's got some dumbasses in it

hi I'm Freegold68 oh hey where do I sign up um don't in Jackson Mississippi I'm in Jackson Mississippi and I got a question mark question. It's flying a sign in MS.

Which, as we have to specify, is Mississippian, not multiple sclerosis. It says MS and then period, so flying a sign in Ms. Flying a sign in Ms. I would like to know, for a given fact, what laws are in effect about flying a sign in MS, and what is allowed to be written on the sign that makes it illegal or legal? Well, fuck you is the only legal thing that I can say. Yeah.

For instance, if I had a sign that says hungry, is it panhandling? Wait, what? Panhandling? Panhandling? Wait, are you trying to... Are you going to take this up in an airplane? You're just going to fly the sign hungry across the sky?

Guys, that plane is hungry. No, it's going to be a sign with an arrow so that people would know. He has to run alongside it on the ground. He has to run really fast. Panhand handler airplane. Hungry, next exit, two miles. Why? What law says so? Section and subsection.

What section of subsection of the law? So you think that there's just a big book that just says law that exists? Law. Okay. For instance, if I had a sign that says, need work,

is it panhandling? It seems more realistic. I can picture a skywriter or a guy with a plane flying that behind his plane. Dude, what is wrong with a piece of cardboard? I've got a giant banner, but nobody will hire me. Spending so much

on gas for this employment search. Yeah. What law says so? Section and subsection. See, I like more the Free Gold 68 is trying to be coy about it. I was just wondering if it's the legality

on flying a sign of any kind you know one that says you know give me money or i am homeless and i am panhandling or this sign is intended to get money from you because i'm homeless you know just any sign it is my understanding that only when you walk up to a person and specifically ask for money is it panhandling please Please help me in finding the law in this situation. Thank you, Floyd. You're welcome. I'm not Floyd, but cool. And Judge, once again, wrong.

I think Judge is just an antisocial weirdo that's just trying to encourage people to do bad things. Maybe we're misunderstanding this. Maybe he's flying the plane right up into people's faces and flying around them in circles while they're trying to walk.

Alright, Stog, you're going to be red-tied, but I know you're looking for a man with a slow hand, and that's me. Oh, cool. My name's Slowhand714. I have a paper question fired for a drug test had a piss test

my drug test was under 50 nigs oh my god under dot drug tester was not can-tacked me

or oh my god okay here we go one more time under dot drug tester was not to can-tacked me or oh my god okay here we go one more time under dot drug tester was not to contact me or pull your butt

did sent me two weeks later to take a another one didn't give me 30 days before taking a another one said it was higher that the first, so fired me.

Anything I can do? What? Union filed a grievance but would like to do something. What? The drug testing people didn't give me enough time to get the drugs

out of my system. They legally have to let you flush the drugs out of my system. Yeah, exactly. They legally have to let you flush the drugs out of your system, right? Is it legal for them to give me a drug test that's effective? He kept missing the cup because he was so high. That's why it went badly. Ah, hello. My name's Red Tide

and I don't want to sound like a smart asp that's the smartest poisonous snake I've ever seen but maybe you should quit smoking dope the union cannot go too far on a limb over drugs no no no the union

should protect you from doing drugs at work moving on to Alabama here Ishan what do you got for us finally we're out of the stupid state finally out of Mississippi and now into the intelligent

reasoned state of Alabama. This is more of a lateral move than anything, really. My name is Baines Five, and I have a question mark question. Okay. Transport corpse across state lines? Yes. Can anyone please advise me on the law regarding the following? My capital U uncle is passing away.

He lives in Hanceville, Alabama. regarding the following. My capital U uncle is passing away. He lives in Hanceville, Alabama. The funeral will be held in Al. However, his body will need to be transported to Gravette, Arkansas to be buried in our family plot. My aunt, capital A, thinks she might be able to just transport the body in her pickup truck. Yeah, just pop it up against the back of the truck.

Just throw her in with the other ones. It's like vacation or something. Is that legal? Any advice would be appreciated. Yeah, don't do that. That would be my advice. That's crazy illegal

just make sure to get enough elastic straps get those like bungee cord ones put the two hooks together like in the middle of the body on each it's actually illegal to put it in the back of the truck, but if you want to just tie it to the hood.

Also, put some chemicals on the body so that the three dogs that are always back there don't start eating it. Portax, you have something from Virginia you want to ask us? My name is Nazia.

I would not have chosen that pronunciation, but that's the correct one. Nazia, the female Nazi. The yiffy she-wolf of the SS. She's a she-wolf in the loo. She was evil enough to even creep out Hitler. And I have a question about Metal Gear Solid, apparently.

This is about fursuits in public. Fring! Fring! Is it legal to walk around in public in a full or even partial fursuit under the age of 18? Or, that's a Halloween costume. I can't believe it. Or is it even legal at all?

Well, okay. Is it? I'd really like to know because a friend of mine and I are trying to figure out if it's okay for us to walk around town showing off our new fursuits or if we can get locked up

for it. You know all those people that are on the street in a gorilla costume trying to get people to go into a used car lot? Yeah, to a used car lot. They're always running from the cops. No, I'm a mascot. It's fine. I car lot. They're always running from the cops. Oh, no.

I'm a mascot. I'm a mascot. It's fine. I'm a mascot. I just came from the amusement park. I'm on break right now. That's all. Oh, my God.

Look at that pervert. Grab the sign. He's flipping for Bentley's furniture. Get him. The other side says, fuck you. What the hell? Maybe it's like one of those, the only way I could think that this could

even be a question is if maybe the fursuits have like bits on them or something? Like they're anatomical? But it says partial fursuits. Wait, so there's dicks growing out of their paws? I think it's just, yeah, it's just

left hand, head, and dick. I really wouldn't doubt it, so I don't see what the problem is. Alright, this is the only one from Canada. Boots? Oh, I think I should say this, Derry. Wait, yeah, you're right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Derry, let's pull up this in the old internet there. I'm going to take a section of it up. You have to get the moose running on a treadmill. It's cool up here in the part of Canada where I live at. What province are you in? Saskatchewan.

Sure. Anyway. My name is Martin, and this is Canadian law there. Hey, I'm going to have some random questions in Canadian law and don't know much. Is it legal to own a fox as a pet in Canada? And as usual, Larissa

explains it all. and as usual Larissa explains it all you'd have to chiak with fish and wildlife oh that makes sense hi fish can I own a fox animal friends come to me yes I just wanted to chiak with you guys real quick

alright Boots you come to me. I just wanted to chat with you guys real quick. Alright, Boots, Beth Scarberry seems angry about something. What are you angry about, Beth Scarberry? Your best American accent to counteract. Oh, there you go. Well, howdy! You gotta do the British

American voice. I love it. I'm Beth Scarberry. I got a document type question. No fair. Is it illegal in West Virginia for a judge to sentence a male five years in prison for driving a vehicle, which was

accessory to a aggravated robbery, but the guy who actually went in and robbed the stores with the gun only got a year frowny face. Sorry, angry face. Huh?

Isfahan, what does Judge say about that? Yes. Thanks, Judge. I swear, Judge has over a thousand posts. He just went on a spree of just saying the opposite. So for the question, is it illegal in West Virginia for a judge to sentence a male five years in prison for driving a vehicle which was accessory to an aggravated robbery, but the guy who actually went in and robbed the stores with a gun only got a year. The answer is yes. Yes!

The judge is batting zero so far. My answers are bad. He's the judge, dude. My name is Judge. My answers are bad. Alright. Isfahan? This is a question about religious tolerance.

Oh, God. Let me be the first to say I'm expecting good things from this. I am Professor Bolin, and I have a question. Well, you are a professor. All right. I can tell. If the KKK cannot mask face in public, how do burqa women from the Middle East do it? If the KKK cannot mask their face in public, how do the Arab women from the Middle East get to wear burqas in public?

When these women walk around Walmart, do you ever notice the screams from small children crying as if the boogeyman is going to get them? I don't notice that, no, because it's in your own head that that's happening. So I tend not to notice things that are happening inside of your mind. I would like to know, is there a law against this? What the hell is this? You see, the KKK have had it rough because they'd be able to go about their business and do all the good things that they're trying to do. But there was this stupid law against them covering their face with masks.

I like that in this guy's head it's like the KKK fell out of popularity, whatever popularity it had. He's like, oh, people don't like hoods. That's why that happened. Yeah. It really against guys wearing things on their head. Professor Bolin, who is law curious, has posed two questions. We're going to have Isvan read the other one

and you guys have to see if you notice any kind of running theme in his posts. I think I got an inkling. This is an entirely different question I asked. Hide your face in public. Wait, let me just see.

This is two days before your other post. Is it legal to hide your face in public? I know if I were to dress up as a KKK member and walk down the street with my face covered I would be beaten and poured into the back of a

police car for hiding my face in public they would beat him so hard they'd turn him into a liquid he'd be liquefied it's not because you're hiding your face in public it's not because you're hiding your face in public. Hey, I can't see that KKK guy's face.

Let's kill him. Then again, I see women walking around in these Arab dresses with just a slit to see out of and no one bats an eye at it. First of all, that's not a burqa, but that's fine. I would like to know the exact law that makes it illegal to hide your face in public. It's not a law! You can wear fucking goddammit! Can someone

point me in the direction, please? You can wear a balaclava if you really want to, it's fine. I just don't want to teach my classes in a jar you know I'm just wondering if it's illegal to put on

the costume for the KKK that I'm not a part of seems to be the logical progression is this illegal to burn crosses on people's lungs I like to think that the person who asked the fursuit question came across that one and said, fuck. Or star, star, star, star. All right.

I'm cold, Roy. Paper. Weapon invention. If someone created a weapon that could be employed by the country, is it illegal to have invented it in the first place? What? You are under arrest for retroactive

crimes against humanity. Yes. Would the blueprints and the prototypes be seized, or would the government, capital G, offer compensation if they wanted to acquire it? I'm building a death ray, you see. So if you invent a weapon, and then it is used by the government

would the government then arrest you for having invented the weapon yes that's a question wow that's like some Bond villain shit right there thank you for the death ray now into the cell with you all I wanted to do was build space rockets.

I got into Metal Gear reference. You did. Let's see if it ends up in the episode. Alright. Ouch. Alright, the last question is from Arizona. I will be taking the part of Axe Reapin' Ninja.

It is up to you to decide which role you want to take. Alright, here we go. Take Juggalos off the Arizona Gang Task Force list! Hey! My name is Brad, and I've been

continuously discriminated and treated as a gang member just because I like ICP or psychopathic records in general. Since when, comma, should it be a crime to wear the clothing? I myself have been a juggalo for years and not one have I committed a crime. a crime. I think taking juggalos of the task force list should be highly

considerated. Considerated? And I'm looking for everyone to help me and all of us out, because most of us never did anything to not be able to wire a specific article of clothing. It's just the music.

I don't see how us good juggalos should be discriminated I spelled it rightly that time. That's weird. By the police. Considerated is just I gotta sound smart. Smart sounding word. I had no idea Eddie Pepitone was a juggalo.

Considerated C-O-N-C-I-D-E-R-A-T-E-D. Yeah. It's like when felons try to talk intelligently. My name's Axe Reapin' Ninja. My name is Dr. Bob. I don't know what a juggalo is.

Sorry, where are you from, Dr. Bob? I'm from Vancouver, USA, not BC. Thank you very much. Sorry, where are you from, Dr. Bob? I'm from Vancouver, USA, not BC. Is there a Portland? It's Washington. It's in Washington. I don't know what a Guglo is, but I assume it a gang of some sort. Again, if only there was a reference spelling of the word.

Again, if only there was a reference spelling of the word. From the explanation you give, all I can tell you is if you want to act and dress like a gang member, you will be considered a gang member. Please tell me what a guggalo is. It's the same spelling of consider. Death wish sex, the guggalos. So he used the reference spelling of consider, but not juggalo. I'm guessing maybe this Dr. Bob guy is just trying to piss off the juggalo, maybe?

Well, it didn't work, because act like an adult, poon. I'm either calling you a poon, or I'm saying you should act like a grown-up poon. Yeah, that says act like an adult poon. Act like anup poon. Yeah, that says act like an adult poon. Act like an adult poon. A juggalo or juggalo's possessive is a fat group of people. They are.

You don't know how right you are. In this entire episode. Yeah, I point out that Why is there more post after that? A group of fat people that listen to psychopathic records such as Insane Clown Posse and stuff like that. And we like to think of each other as a family because most don't understand and aren't mature.

You know, too latly. People haven't been able to see it our way. So in a few different states, we are on the gang task force list and are considerate street gang members from where we give the clothing. And for me, that's discriminating and profiling. Just because I have a shirt and like the band doesn't mean I'm a gang member from prior problems Juggalos have been having.

There are plenty of Juggalos that save lives every day. Citation needed. It's a Juggalo superhero. Yo, you were gonna burn up in that building, bitch, but I took you out.

You wanna fuck me now? Hatches for life. I've seen Juggalo law enforcement and firefighters. Wherever there are people, there are also Juggalos. I see a lot of people. Those are the two groups. There are also juggalos! Ha ha ha! I see a lot of people. There are people and then there are juggalos.

Often when you see people, you will also see juggalos. And most of them happen to be great people that make a difference in the world every day and are only being recognized as Arizona only as gang members. Tonguey face.

I'm just going to correct a couple of words that you said there. There was a di-feer-in. Di-feer-ince. And there was also ricogonized. Oh, I'm sorry about ricogonized. You're not apologizing for di-feer-ince, though? No.

No, di-feer-ince is fine. He's holding his ground. Recogonize. Recogonize yourself. That's my word of the day. And there we go! Around about an hour of the best legal advice that we're willing to give you. John, what did you learn this week? I learned that the internet, along with facilitating communication and media and things like that,

Along with facilitating communication and media and things like that, it's also mainly a place where people just want to look for excuses to talk about how weird their sex lives are. But, you know, they don't want to just come out and say it, a lot of people. So I think they want an excuse like, you know, is it legal to rub a rabbit while I lick my cousin's asshole? I'm just wondering if that's legal. The thing that I do all the time that I think is really fun. If you need proof of this thing that I'm worried about whether or not it's legal, here are some photos of me doing it.

Yeah, exactly. Like, you know, it's that kind of bragging where you're not really saying the thing. You're like, you know, it's like bragging while you're, like, you know, some people will pray. It's like, dear Lord, thank you so much for my beautiful car that I got. You know, it's like that kind of bragging that, yougging that you're not outright bragging, but you still are. Absolutely. Except these people do it about weird and sometimes not even sex stuff. It's just like, what was it?

There's something about like, is it legal to breed lizards to eat? It's like, hey, look how weird I am. I want everybody to know that I eat geckos. People want to brag. Interesting person. that I eat geckos. You know, just people want to brag. Interesting person.

Yeah, it's interesting because, you know, we as Americans with a couple of Canadians, you know, are in a legal system that is not perfect insofar as it's kind of a mess. Right. We have a lot of laws and kind of none of them make sense, but, you know, if Alberto Gonzalez has problems with figuring out how the law works, and clearly he does, you know, what hope does it stand for these people? It's very true.

And on a side note, I'd like to point out your place for dated Alberto Gonzalez jokes, the F+. Oh, come on! It's been... Anyway. You know what? I don't recall when the last joke was made. The website is always thefpl.us It is legal to go there. It is legal to leave

comments. It is? It's legal to give thumbs up to the comments that other people leave that you like. It's also legal to say thumbs down. People don't do that very often. I'm not saying you should. I'm saying, you know, freedom of speech. It's also legal to say thumbs down. People don't do that very often. I'm not saying you should. I'm saying freedom of speech. It's really hard to find the dislike button on Facebook, Will. You've got to hunt

for it. It really is. And until next week. Is it legal to end a podcast? No. No. Hey, everybody. It's Wicker Man's Wicker Man. Wicker Man.

Where's Wicker Man? It's down there. How to get burned. How to get burned. How to get burned, yo. Oh, not the M&M. No, not the M&M. Oh God, not the M&M. Yo, I'm M&M! Ah! Oh, God, not the M&M!

Yo, I'm in a bear suit. Step away from the bike, bitch. Pawn scum Jones. Wearing my fubu won't bring back your goddamn honey. You can't wear a bear suit in public. It's illegal. No, wait. It looks like man is a surname.

It's a M-A-N. I am Greg Wiggerman, attorney at law. Wiggerman, Wiggerman, and Nigaman. I think we found our next skit. If we ever do another contest. Hello, Wiggerman, Wiggerman, and Niggerman. How can I direct

you all? Hello? Hello? We get so many hang up at this law institution. Wiggerman, Wiggerman, and Niggerman. We're actually all white. Wiggerman, Wiggerman, and Niggerman. It's unfortunate.

I know.