The F Plus - 66: As Normal As The Cosby Show (with Ted Kaczynski)

Episode Date: February 9, 2012

The modern world is one of isolation. As citizens of The First World, we are increasingly given license to socialize with whom we want, experience the things we choose, and create communities where we notice one lacking. As this happens, the concept of the status quo fades into a more abstract concept, and people start to wonder if they're normal being who they are. Looking for guidence, they turn to the internet, which is problematic because asking the internet what's normal is like.... asking the internet what's normal. If there's a better corollary I haven't thought of it. This week, The F Plus discovers new ways to take peyote.

Every time you're near a rose, aren't you glad you've got a nose? And if the dawn is fresh with dew, aren't you glad you're you? When a meadowlark appears, aren't you glad you've got two ears? And if your heart is singing too Aren't you glad you're here? Why, hello there! This is the F Plus Podcast, Terrible Things, Red with Enthusiasm. My name's Lemon.

And I'm Jimmy Franks. Jimmy Franks, so good to see you. How are you doing this week? Oh, good, man. Good. Really busy. I'm kind of excited. For the first time in a long time, I have a date. Oh, do you now? Yeah. It's been a while. I've been out of the game for a while, but I'm pretty stoked. I'm a little nervous, though. Sure. What are you nervous about?

Well, it's been so long since I've gone out with somebody new. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I guess I've been kind of going over it in my head and trying to figure out, like, what's the right thing to do in certain situations? Here, let me bounce one off you, right? Okay. Best case scenario, we're heading back to my place. Okay, okay.

Is it normal for me to bust out my giant collection of My Little Pony porn? Okay, I was about to say, sure, if you manage to lead up to that, but I don't know what you would do to lead up to that. Let me worry about that. Jimmy Frank, I feel like the problem here is that you feel like you're not sure if you're normal in your kind of thoughts and desires. Yeah.

Is that the problem that you have here? I'm feeling a little awkward. Well, that's fine. That's fine, because you live in an age of the Internet, and the Internet is here to help you. Awesome! Excellent. So I'm going to introduce you to a site here.

It's called isitnormal.com. All right? So what you do is you type in isitNormal for blank, and then people respond. Plenty porn. Got it. Yeah, exactly. And then people respond, yes, it's totally normal. It's the internet. So does that sound helpful to you?

It does. Okay. It's not helpful at all, but it's funny. Let's get to our readers. Let's get to our readers. The thought of fresh bread drives me crazy. Roan crisp rolls fresh and warm. I roam the streets for Baker's show.

Come grow to enter each I've had. In the room tonight we have Isfahan. Is it normal that I cry when I poo? Boots rain gear. Is it normal that I have a deathly fear of children? Bunny bread. My penis looks like a hammerhead shark. Is that normal? Jimmy Franks. Is it normal that I pick my boogers and hide them behind furniture?

Stog. Why do you like it when girls talk in a baby voice? Nutshell gulag. Is it normal to eat your cat when it dies? And lemon. I like peeing on owls when they come out of their tree hole. All right, Stug, do you want to start us off with a poll? What is the weirdest place you've urinated? Honest answers, please.

Drunken or sober. Honest. I couldn't really think of any odd places to urinate, so feel free to add a comment of where you have done it. Please do it within the next ten minutes. This is Humid Researcher, isn't it? I think so. I think we're getting into courtesy pee territory.

Please describe in detail. If you can, name the situation too. And you have a choice of swimming pool, outside, any household dream, on someone else, bottle,

or other. Just add a comment, you motherfucker. My name is unimportant, but not exactly urinating, but I once took a shit out of a driving car. That's unimportant? Tildy. How droll.

Actually, in a nutshell, if you'll take wig splits. Okay. Wig splits. All of the above. Well, not really a bottle, because I'm a girl, but I used to piss in this small glass decorative vase thingy all the time. So, close enough. All the time. It was close enough. All the time.

It was a carafe. That's a fetish video. I've pissed my pants several times as an adult. A few times it was due to a seizure, though. What? I was wasted. Oh, okay. I was wasted and pissed in my cat's litter box,

sat on my dining chair and pissed, pissed in or on, rather, a plastic bag and thought my curtains were That doesn't excuse that shit, lady. What, typing it? I've been pretty wasted myself, but I've never peed in my cat's litter box. Well, you have taken a shit out of a driving car, though. Well, yeah, but... I was drunk driving at the time. If only they had given that as an

option. Trash can at my old place of employment. That happened several times. What the fuck? Pissed in a pot that I found outside this person's trailer. All over my parents' barn hundreds of times. Oh, she was raised in a barn that's great

all over so she climbed up on the roof i flew over it in a helicopter just on a dare take that ant hills a lot i'm sure there's more dot dot dot dot dot all that said the two most disgusting places I've ever pissed were one men's bathroom and two porta potty and I pooped in a pool at a pool party when I was 12 or 13

wow I have problems that's the worst kind of party to poop in a pool at she pissed all over her parents barn to keep the deer away there was a fire in the barn She pissed all over her parents' barn to keep the deer away. There was a fire in the barn. Hundreds of times the barn's been set on fire.

Don't worry about it! I got this covered! Would you quit smoking in the barn? God damn it, now I gotta drink a two liter. No, smoke in the barn. It covers the smell. Isitnormal.com is a good place for that. Normal guy.

Okay. Hi, I'm normal guy. And you're a dirty girl. I like it. What? Wigsblitz, I believe you have one other spot. Oh, in line at a restaurant at the Port Authority in New York City. Oh, okay.

Now I don't like you anymore. You're disgusting. Oh, you've gone mainstream. There's really nothing else. Sell out. Port Authority. Ooh, look at me, everybody. I'm a rich pisser.

Peeing in line at the Port Authority. Ooh, pissy. I'm actually meant to pee in this place. Nah. If I ever go to jail again, I hope not, but you never know. I plan on soiling myself constantly. That'll make them lower my bail.

You heard it from a friend. Is it legal to soil myself in jail? I have heard that in corrections, if you're in an institution and you misbehave, they just let you out. Because they have nothing to do at that point, if you're in an institution and you misbehave, they just let you out. Because they have nothing to do at that point because you're already in jail. Yeah, like double indemnity.

Yes, we all know the only people who stay in jail are the well-being. Exactly. They can't put you in jail again. That would be a double negative. You know how ineffective those scared Straight programs are. Alright, anyway. Do you have a question for us, Boots? Yeah, I do, I do. I want to ask.

Do you feel accomplished when squeezing out a blackhead? I don't know why, but for some strange reason, I just feel so accomplished squeezing out a blackhead and seeing the hole left behind from where it came from. What about you guys? So gross. I'm going to give you a few options here. Because a yes-no answer will not suffice on this. No.

Yeah. First option is, I feel accomplished, too, when squeezing out a blackhead. Second option is, I don't feel accomplished when squeezing out a blackhead. Third option, because it's necessary, is I actually feel disgusted when squeezing them out. Survey says? Yeah. Survey says? Yeah. Survey says, what's wrong with you? That 80

out of 89 people feel accomplished when squeezing out a blackhead. Small victories, huh? But if you're the sort of person who's on this website and you do a search for blackhead, you're going to say, I feel accomplished when squeezing out a blackhead. Well, if you spend your time on this site, you probably a search for blackhead, you're gonna say I feel accomplished when squeezing out a blackhead. Well, if you spend your time

on this site, you probably don't have much of a sense of accomplishment about things. So, you know, little victories. Blackhead's gone, yay! I nuked it from orbit. Alright, I think I want to read this one because there's no link for it, so it's I'm just gonna read this right out of the document.

Is it normal Call of Duty is more fun than My Girlfriend? Xbox versus Girlfriend. I know, I know. The age-old battle. I've been a gamer my entire life, but at the same time, I've never had problems getting Weeman either. Yeah, Weeman from Jackass. Not women, but just little, yeah, little men.

Several of them. This is the first time I've had a woman move in, and up until this point, my gaming hasn't ever been a problem. Drinking sometimes, but gaming never. It's stated when she broke her laptop by throwing a fit about me playing. See, my brother-in-law introduced me to Call of Duty, and hell, the game is just badass. See, my girl has been cool for the most part about me playing, but recently, she starts going at my neck every time I start playing. She will make like hate-filled threats and threaten to leave constantly. I kinda don't give a shit.

Hell, I'm not sure if I play because she's a damn bore or if she's getting boring because Xbox is the shit. I wrote a wiki how article she did not read it. That is a dilemma. I'm just all callback jokes tonight. That is a philosophy thesis. She has not started making me the sandwiches. It didn't have meat and cheese. See, she's not the worst girlfriend out there, but she not exactly the most interesting.

Is this Captain Caveman? Have you heard some of the people play Call of Duty? Is it normal that it'd give up my girl for my Xbox? That's 60% normal. Okay, so it's more normal than not that Xbox is the shit and girls are stupid. 60% of all Xbox

owners would rather play Xbox than have a girlfriend. That's about the data that I would expect. Why can't I connect my girlfriend to the internet? I tried once. She did not like it. Wait, wait, wait! Okay, Stog, go down to Shuggy Chan. Shuggy Chan.

From two months ago. Okay. months ago. Okay. Well, let's start by saying if Black Ops is cool, then your girl, she will suck, because that is the worst Call of Duty game I've ever

played. So it depends on which Call of Duty game we're talking about. She falls in between. Somewhere in between. So, if Black Ops is honestly coolest than her, then

freak it out, cause in like a week, MW3 is out, and it will get worse. I always try to plan my dating schedule around which Call of Duty game is coming out and if not then listen to Angel's advice

it's the same as how I feel I like to think that the poster of this question read that and said you know that's a good point and then had the conversation with his girlfriend and said, it's not you. It's the Call of Duty franchise.

The upcoming release of Call of Duty 3. You're better than Black Ops, but you're not as good as Modern Warfare 3. Alright, I think I want to go down to Is it normal? This one here Is it normal to love someone not real?

I don't know This is how it all started I had sketched out something I had Merely seen on a bus seat Which actually turned out A stain Looking a lot like An emo boy So later I looked back at the sketch and

gave him more details now he had very odd features nothing sexual or anything but he had a weird appearance if he wanted to he sprouted wings and a devil tail okay now i know what you mean by odd features. That's good. So you asked him first? Even horns. And his teeth became jagged when angered. What a stupid Hulk power! Soon I came up with his story and everything. His life, family, even his attitude. I even gave him a name.

Spawn. You said nothing about his chains! I'm the most original person in the world. Oh dear. God, I want this to have been written by Todd McFarlane. This is way too well written for Todd McFarlane. But his life

was mere bloodstains and abandonment. He had no parents, no friends, no home or anything to do with his life. So I had dreamed I had taken him in and soon began to fall in love with him. But he didn't love me back. As I said before, he had his own feelings, so then I began visiting him in

my dreams. One night I had dreamed he had tried to murder me. I hadn't done anything but stand there, but he didn't hurt me. So, didn't try very hard. Then things got really awkward after that dream. Only after. I still love him, but I know it's not real.

I can't help but feel sympathy for him, and at times I feel like he's actually there and following me. Is this normal? God, I think I wrote a story. No, I don't think that's very normal. All right, now the users of isitnormal.com have determined how normal this is. Okay, how normal is it? 68%.

Oh my god. We've all been there. Fallen in love with our graffiti sketches. Then had them try to kill us. Hey, uh, buddy bud, can you read the first response? Yeah, I can, but I don't want to be a part of this anymore. Too late. Blood in, blood out.

Alright, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, everybody. Hey, I'm Ghost121. Well, yeah, I guess it's normal to love someone who isn't real. I mean, you know, dark face. Hell, I got a crush on Rainbow Dash. Stupid face. And Kian Viado says, What about having sex with him?

That's logical, Step. Yes, this has been logical up till now. Continue. Continue. This has been logical up till now. Continue. So, hey, how's everybody doing? Is it normal to see a cactus and want to sit on it?

No. Are you a cartoon character? Maybe. Listen to me, for God's sake. Every time I see a cactus, I want to pull down my pants and sit on it. I know it would hurt when it goes in, but I really want to try it, and I don't know. When it goes in? Yep. It'll keep hurting after that.

I am quite the asshole. I've got close to doing it, but backed off at the last moment when it was about to go in. Is this normal? To want to cause this sort of pain to oneself? Jesus Christ! And even the folks on Is It Normal had to bring this person back down to earth. Only 16% said this is normal. Hi.

It's a glimmer of hope. I'm sweets. Cactus butt lol. God, there's a person here named Smegma Eater. Oh! He eats smegma. Yeah, I think Smegma Eater is the guy. Because GargleMySack asks,

which I don't really understand how you can gargle one sack but that's okay gargle my sack asks cactus is code for penis right? A really sharp pointy penis. No no it's a real cactus. I want to find more conversations between gargle my snack

gargle my sack and smegma eater. Yeah they should really get a political roundtable discussion. Now, Boots, you said this episode wasn't going to be gross. You lied. Compared to various other things, sure. I'd say it's still more stupid than gross. I think there's nothing really gross about this. And to that end, Jimmy Franks, if you'll read the next thing.

Is it normal that I like to eat clean cat litter? Oh, clean, you say? Well, yeah. Yeah, I eat clean cat litter because I have a craving for it. I used to chew on the corners of walls because the drywall that came off tasted clay-like. I even have a favorite brand of cat litter that I enjoy. Well, wait, tell us what it is, dammit! Let's get you some sponsorship.

It's Johnny Cat. Sounds like this person has pica. I do not eat a lot. Just about a half a cup every month. I get cravings for it when I get anxious. Is it normal? I still think that's a lot. Just about a half a cup every month. I get cravings for it when I get anxious. Is it normal? I still think that's a lot. I mean, half a cup every month.

I mean... I think a non-zero amount of cat litter is what it is. By the way, 10% thought it was normal. Only 10% normal. I'm just voting on these as we go through, by the way. Is it yes?

Is it normal for everything? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, this is 11% normal. I want to make these people feel good about themselves. Right. Even though they shouldn't. You're trying to build self-confidence. That's nice. My mom pooped herself during birth, is it normal?

Well... So I just found out that when I was being born, my mom pooped herself. And then I was born covered in shit. What should I think about it? All right, I'm Miss Claire. You have to push for all your might. What the fuck do you think is going to happen? It's all interconnected down there.

That's true. Women shit out their vaginas all the time. Hey, it's called a cloaca. I think it's called a fistula. This is actually a chicken typing this. My mom's a duck!

Alright, uh... Next up, I think this is Isfahan. Oh, God. Oh, yeah, it's very normal. Oh, we're blazing new territory here, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Completely new terrain.

Is it normal to dress as a girl and wear diapers? God damn it, guys. Well, there's a website I'd like you to look at. I'm 19 and male, and I live on a very remote island. Orkney Islands, Scotland. And right now, I'm sitting holding in a big poop. And later on, I'm going to drive to a

roadside toilet pretty much in the middle of nowhere completely dressed as a girl. And I'm going to put a nappy diaper on and poop in it. Sit in it and squish it around. I also love the feeling of holding in a it. Sit in it and squish it around. I also love the feeling of holding in a poop and the fact I'm going to do it in a girl's toilet

dressed completely as a girl. Is it normal? Yes, every last part. No! Not normal! Well, first of all, it is 9% more normal than sitting on a cactus. Yeah, that's correct. Actually, thanks to

Bunny Bread, it is 8% more normal. And Triangle Hug doesn't really get the point of this site. No, it's normal for ooh, but maybe not other people. Why would you ever ask anybody else if something is normal? I have a question for you guys.

What's that? All right, all right. Here's my question. Sniff a pretty girl's seat cushion? Oh. Hmm. Oh, no. So are you asking me to do so right now?

Sniff a pretty girl's seat cushion? Sniff a pretty girl's seat cushion? Sniff a pretty girl's seat cushion right here? Sir, would you care to sniff a pretty girl's seat cushion? Two bits. Two bits of sniff. Sniff a pretty girl's seat cushion. I've always had this urge to sniff where beautiful girls sit. The longer they sit down, the better I like it. I've sniffed some pretty girl's seats after they was sitting there for like two hours before.

And when they get up, I would sneak over and sniff the heart-shaped warm spot of the seat indented cushion. Where she was sitting. Most of them stink, too. So most pretty girls stink. Is this normal or am I a per a pervert 26 of people on here are perverts so i like that you you you sniff the the seat cushions of of of girls after they get up and you wonder is it possible perhaps maybe i'm a pervert? Like, I don't want to rule it out. Hi, I am a completely different person. Oh, yeah?

I'm Mac Man. Okay. I'm Mac Man. I want to say that wooden seats are the best. They hold the most smell. Every girl is different. Some have no smell at all. Isfahan, let's take a logical approach here.

If you'll take a... Quee... Queeops. Q-U-A... Yeah. Queeps. Sniffing the seat where a girl has just been sitting is harmless and pleasurable to the sniffer,

so what is wrong with it? There is nothing perverted about it. It is done by the sniffer simply because he, or sometimes she, likes to see what the... Yeah, never she. No. No, always she.

I'm politically correct, sir. Okay, fair enough. Gender neutral. Likes to see what the girl's bottom and knickers smell like. Males, both animals and humans, are fascinated by the female genital and arse smells and vice versa. Ask a bloke to sniff dirty knickers or a smelly seat and he may make a show of recoiling in disgust, but he will immediately take another sniff.

Is this peer-reviewed research? Extensive university trials. The strongest smells are probably from still warm chair cushions where a mini-skirted girl has been sitting. Take the cushion and use it as a pillow in bed that night if possible.

Wait, now you're stealing things! He's just tearing the cushion off the theater seat and taking it with him. Hiking out of the bar with the whole stool tucked under his arm. Excuse me, sir. No, a pretty girl sat on this. I'm a paying customer. I deserve this. Hey, Quapes, it's Macman here. I've got something to say to you in response to that. Wooden seats are the best.

Leather is ISO good. Mmm, leather. I have found a kindred spirit. I'm Chino01. Dude, I do the same shit! But I go a bit further. I take a glass jar and try to trap the sweet air. Oh my god.

This is just... I also take a piece of clear tape and try to get some kind of marker residue. Learning things I don't want to know. This is a CSI of creeps. Cheeto 01, can you get your own show on the Home Shopping Network? I've been calling them. They won't call me back.

I know I'm odd, but I have about 32 bottles of air already. Oh, I wish there was a place in the world for people like us, man. Oh my god. There is a place for people like you. Hi, I'm Kuzo820. Hey, Kuzo820. I would put my penis where the heart-shaped

spot is. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. You LOL-ed weird things. It's like kind of the coming down laugh. It's like... I...

This... Oh... My name is CuriousMe15. What if the girl stood up to go to the restroom? I mean, probably she left some dangerous odors. Ew, this is so messed up! Not cool at all, bro. You're still my bro, but you're pretty fucked up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know. Well, Mellow Man counters with, What are you talking about? This is perfectly normal sniffing ass it's not weird sniffing ass yeah it's normal normal sniffing ass someone needs to read z03 z03 z03 at the bottom one what are you doing two i know a dane for you it's when a girl lays on a table grabs your head with her feet shoves your face in her ass, and third, what after anal sex you smell your dick?

That clears everything up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it normal that my dad found something? I'm going to say yes. I have... Yeah, sure. I think sometimes you don't want to get to the body. You want to place your bets before you find out the full story.

I have stolen some of these girls' socks for personal reasons, and my dad found one of them. It's obviously a girl's sock because it was an ankle sock and it had skulls with pink bows on them, and he asked what that was doing here, and I just said, oh, I found that in the closet under

some stuff, and I washed it because it smelled bad. Totally plausible. Just found this random sock somewhere, and I thought I'd, you know, launder it because that's cool. Because I plan on keeping it. Man, you got some weird hobbies.

He's making a sock quilt. Oh, that's nice. There is a possibility that he may have thought that it came from a bag of hand-me-downs from my aunt or my mom's when she lived here, but I'm not sure if he's suspicious of me or not.

What do I do? This was kind of a bait-and-switch. Because, yes, it's normal that your dad found something, but no, it's not normal, all the implied creepiness. Also, you have a mom that would wear, like, fucking black... Skull. Pink skull socks. Yeah, the stepmom here is a little bit younger than Dad needs, but...

Jweezy says, He probably just thinks you murdered a little girl and kept her sock as a trophy. Don't sweat. Yeah, he won't think you're a creep or anything. This is for Stog. Hey, is it normal to get a boner from this? You sound like the sun in Breaking Bad. You sound like the sun in Breaking Bad. Let's start over.

No, no, no, that's a keeper. Is it normal to get a bone from this yeah good thanks i have a friend that is a hot as hell blonde but she is a little dark in the head i mean like psycho she was telling me different ways to kill people. It was very wearing. Very hot, too. The more she told me, and the more gruesome they got, the harder they got. And I think she noticed. Oh, I think she noticed. Winky face! I also think that she noticed.

God. I also thank that she noticed God Wait What is wrong with wanting to kill people? Why is that dark? I don't know My second wet dream ever involved Walking in on a chick Doing a zombie

So maybe I'm dark too Maybe It sounds like you have a crush on the girl, so just go ask her out already. No. Oh, zombies, man. Fuck yes. I want to know what happened. Like, you were trying to make conversation with her, and then she's like,

And you can strangle them! And you can shoot them them and you can shoot them and you can stab them and you can put them in the microwave It's just nipples poking through the shirt at that point So in contrast to that, Nutshell

is sort of a lady's perspective Oh good, I'm really glad we can get balance. That's nice. Is it normal to like guys like this? Is it normal to like when a masculine, hot, athletic guy with a nice big round butt fart loud and long a lot? The sound is so manly, and it arouses me. Macho, macho fart. She and the seat sniffer ought to get along just great.

Yeah. Match made in heaven. Thank you for voting. This is 23% normal. Is it normal to ride on your boyfriend's back and pretend he's a motorcycle while he farts? The next logical progression. Do we have to point out that that wasn't a real one? That was just one that Stog made up? Yeah. It's probably on here.

It probably is. All right. Actually, Stog, one more for you here. Is it normal to want to become Sonic the Hedgehog? I wake up every day and wish that my human life was all a dream and I am Sonic the Hedgehog. Don't we all? I have made my own costume for myself and sometimes I run down the street wearing it.

Oh my god! Why do you not... Somebody give that man a camera! Hold on, hold on, I'm not finished. I have made my own costume for myself and sometimes I run down the street wearing it, imagining I am running at the speed of sound. Is this normal?

Absolutely. In fact, it's 42% normal. 43% now. I'd rather be Super Mario, because Sonic has no teeth. He's thought this through. A simple deviant art search will prove you wrong, sir. Alright, I like this one

because it has a fun little twist. Oh, man. All right. Bonnie Brad, will you read this? And just don't read ahead. Just let the text move you. Well, I have a very, very, very normal question. Is it normal for a white man to marry a black woman?

Wait for it. Yeah. That's this. Yeah. Okay. And then have kids, but secretly hate the black race. What's he gonna do?

Take them down from the inside? Yes or no? You seemed fine with it before. What's your problem? I just hate my horrible, disgusting, mulatto offspring. That's all.

Oh, God. And then, at the bottom of the screen, one year, six months ago, you clarify. Before you get all furious about this stuff, let me just claim that my wife is half and half. Oh, so you're not racist. Oh, no. No, I just hate half of her.

And then you clarify again. Okay, so evidently that wasn't enough to get all you anti-racists off my back. Let me revise here. I don't hate my wife. I wouldn't have married her if I did. I hate the way the black folk in the city carry themselves. That's what I hate. Why is there the need to eviscerate?

Eviscerate, that's right. E-V-I-S-E-R-A-T. The English language. Act like buffoons. Trample, break, and destroy public areas slash buildings. Constantly steal. Try everything under the sun to get one over you. Cause you's just a cracker.

Wow! Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. My wife does all those things all the time. Wait, she does them half the time. I don't know why people are trying to act like you're racists i can see why a third of the people thought that was normal that's just law of averages you're just you're just you're just angry that black people in the city don't have the same grasp of the english language that you do yeah they eviscerating it all the time endlessly

right right like all of the blood that exists in the English language, you know? Right, right, right. That pipes through the veins. Yeah. They just let out all the blood by cutting all the veins. Yeah, they're like phlebotomists there. They're just ridiculous. That was a fancy word.

Well done. Yeah, I'm sure I spelled it wrong. Well, that's all right. Okay. Is God a certain color? I'll give you some options. Okay. Red.

Shines with all the colors. Other. Add a comment. Purple. Blue. Black. Or white. I'm kind of disappointed he didn't go Roy G. the colors. Other. Add a comment. Purple. Blue. Black. Or white. I'm kind of disappointed he didn't go Roy G. Biv.

Yeah. Your question's annoying. Sure. And then a lot of people debate this for a while. And then Jimmy Franks. If you shitbags don't even believe in God or Jesus, stop making asses out of yourself and freaking stop commenting. Wait! So being a deist is a prerequisite to posting on the internet?

Yeah. Just believe you choose to be atheist or some other religion. It doesn't give you the right to give shit to those that are Christian. And secondly, unless you have met Jesus, you can't come here being a smartass and saying he's black or white or anything. Why not? The Bible was written by Caucasians.

Whoa! Holy shit. So, of course, all the characters within were portrayed as white people. Those paintings were painted by white people. Wow. Stop being such douches people. That's quite a twist.

The people's douche. No, the douches people. Why can't I find all posts by proudly 100%? I know. That sucks. I want to have a proudly 100% episode. His username was too long. 100%. I know. That sucks. I want to have a proudly 100% episode. Yeah. His username was too long.

The full name is proudly 100% white. It's because his username is weird because it has a percent sign in it, so it doesn't work. Because you can pull up WigSplits profile. Could we Google proudly 100% and see what comes up? Yeah, you can. Proudly 100%. You get his posts on this.

Either this community is pretty small or a lot of these people just go through every single one and comment because I've seen a lot of these names.

Let's see. Let's see. Well, hang on. I got another one. Boots, if you'll ask this question as well. Is it normal to egg Justin Bieber?

I can't stand Justin Bieber and when I heard when he got egged I was excited by it but in Bieber? I can't stand Justin Bieber. And when I heard when he got egged, I was excited by it. But in saying that I don't think I'd go and buy a ticket to egg him, I guess I asking would it be normal to be happy that Justin almost got egged. Whatever you just said is 79% normal. We've all been there, having a head injury, than trying to talk about Justin Bieber.

Is it normal to want to egg Justin Bieber, who didn't get egged, but he did, and I want to egg him, but I won't? Also, selling tickets. Yes. Sure! I'm not a fan of Justin Bieber, but seriously, people hate him so much to a point where they feel they have to egg him?

Are we forgetting that he's also a human being? You'd be bloody pissed if you were egged. Why the bloody hell would you do it to somebody else? Throw some balls for bloody sake. Bloody sake. He didn't really answer the question, though. He's not about answering questions. No.

He asks them. Yeah, he's got... He raises the important questions. But he doesn't do it in the place where he's supposed to on the site. Another. He asks them. Yeah, he's good. He raises the important questions. But he doesn't do it in the place where he's supposed to on the site. Another one. Boots? Is it normal to never had a paranormal experience?

To never had. Is it? Is it? Seriously, as far as I can remember, I never have seen Ghost or any other Patrick Swayze movie or any other paranormal experience. It is always that a friend saw something or on TV there are some shows about it. But when it comes about first-hand experience, I never have seen something so strange that cannot be explained. I really wanted to see something because for me, that's the proof something so strange that cannot be explained. I really wanted

to see something, because for me, that's the proof that there's something after this life. Is it normal to never have experienced paranormal stuff? Paranormal? Look at the word. I just feel Is it normal to have something not normal?

Paranormal. New high score, 92%. Proudly 100%. What do you have to say about that? Consider yourself lucky. I have had a paranormal experience. Definitely a moment of my life I hope nobody else has to experience.

If you don't hear strange noises at night, your things don't suddenly go missing. You don't hear strange noises at night, your things don't suddenly go missing. You don't see strange things, consider yourself blessed. Happy face. You don't want my life, son. This person is like,

man, everything seems so normal. Is that normal? I better ask the internet. He's getting terrorized by the ghosts of Caucasian Bible writers. Alright, this is actually my favorite of the 100%s, though, so this is the last one.

Is it normal to be so negative? My friend calls me a pessimist. Is it normal to such a negative thinker about everything? X wanting to die, not having any friends.

70% normal. Faceless. When it comes to HIV, then yes. Yes, it is. What the hell? I just wanted to put in a negative positive joke. Oh, oh, I get it. Oh, yeah, that's cute.

The only reason I'm negative is probably because my mother made sure I was a depressed waste of oxygen. Tonal shift proudly 100%. shift proudly 100%. The response from that, Davila says, no you're not, and then adds a footnote. You are. I thought about it some more. Well no, Davila, come on, let's be fair. Let's be fair,

Davila is correcting her spelling. It's no, you're possessive not. Oh. I honestly thought that was a fun note I was like psych is it normal a person like me be almost perfect almost is it normal a person like me be almost perfect?

Almost? Is it normal? I don't know. I guess you'll have to prove your case. Is it normal that I am almost this perfect? Okay. So here's the deal. I'm a gym trainer that is super extrovert and very sociable and does all the things slash classes in the gym perfectly. I have more than one

blog and my writing in them is awesome. I have many, many, many fans in my gym. I scored 100% on the exercise page. And on the internet, on my blogs. I am extremely

smart. I have great conversation and communication skills. I am extremely smart. I have great conversation and communication skills. I am high maintenance. I have a great body. I'm interested in everything like a three-year-old and have the immaturity and wonder of a child, yet the intelligence of a very smart adult. A very smart adult.

I am well-rounded personality- oh i'm a narcissist but does being what you shut your mouth have to do with my narcissism and is it normal for a person to be this well-rounded or am i an exception the only thing that isn't perfect in me is the color of my skin, which is brown, and my afro hair. Oh my god! Hey, is that my wife? P.S. Excuse my grammar. I typed it quickly. What? I wish it was the same race as the people who wrote the Bible.

They really were on the ball. I am awesome, except I hate my race. So, baby, you single? Also, she thinks that a space goes before periods and commas. She texted it while she was on the treadmill at the gym updating her blog. Scoring 100%. Oh!

Perfecting the, you know. She aced the treadmill. Yeah, yeah. When she does her yoga poses, everyone's like, damn! I had no idea it was supposed to look like that! She aced the treadmill. Yeah, yeah. When she does her yoga poses, everyone's like, Damn! I had no idea it was supposed to look like that! Alright, um... Alright, should we get to the long one here? Yeah. Alright.

Mr. Bread, I believe? My teacher tried to screw me over. Part one of two. Oh, good. So, almost ever since the beginning of the year, I would stay after class and talk to my teacher. She is 40 and looks 30,

this is important, and has the kind of personality and body you'd only expected your dreams. She was always smiley and flirty around me, so being a raging hormone teen, I was completely game for some action with her. We got closer, and it became the norm for me to

talk to her after school. I asked for her phone number, and she said it wasn't appropriate to give to me. Yet she told me where she works after school, what time she works, where she lives, and what she'd be doing all week. Me,

being confused as to why she'd volunteer this information but not give me her number, I assumed she wanted this to be as discreet as possible, reinforced by the fact that she wouldn't bring any attention to us when others were around, as if to keep discretion. So her giving me her address was the spark I was waiting for. I came to her house the next night, and she got very surprised and insecure and closed the door on me,

saying it was inappropriate behavior. Then locking the deadbolt and closing the window blinds. Mixed messages. Yeah, Jesus, running hot and cold here. This confused the hell out of me, so I was like, all right, I'm just just gonna act like that never happened tomorrow and ask her what that was for at school okay but life isn't that simple

turns out she called the police and had them come to her house luckily i was already gone and told them that i had stalked her some bull crap why the cops had to be involved is beyond me i got called to the office at school the next day to the principal, vice, and an investigations officer, whom questioned me, like I just committed a capital offense or something. Turns out, they didn't have any information on me,

nor could they prove I was at her house, so like, bitch, suck it. But this is where it gets messed up. This. This right here. Yeah, okay. It's a normal story. It takes a turn. I could have written the first part myself. The principal kicked me out of the class I had with her.

And it's an AP class. And on top of that, she's the only teacher who does that AP class in the school. So the principal said, tough luck, and handed me an online schooling pamphlet and sent me on my way. I went home that day and in the school. So the principal said, tough luck, and handed me an online schooling pamphlet and sent me on my way. I went home that day and told my mom. Totally did. Why didn't you fuck her?

I don't know, Mom. She totally slammed the door in my face. I hate school anyway. Did you kick the door in? Yeah, I tried, just like you showed me. Turns out the principal and the officer had two

completely different stories. The officer claimed that they had no information on me whatsoever, except my name in the police report. The principal, on the other hand, said he doesn't get involved in out-of-school matters. Yet I got kicked out of a class for it. Pfft. And that I stalked her...

I stalked outside her house for 20 minutes when the officer said he arrived in seven minutes and i was already long gone so like that's double indemnity or whatever shit yeah i didn't stalk her that long right see it's just mild stalking at best on top of that the principal said they identified my car outside her house whereas the officer said that they had no information principal lies again the principal also said that I had been told by the teacher and custodians many times to get out of her room and leave her alone, whereas the truth is I wasn't told to leave once. Not implied, not asked, not told,

so obviously the principal is a huge liar, right? And the teacher blew things way out of proportion for no reason. This is BS. Tune in for the exciting conclusion. And now, part two of our drama. Part two of our creative writing assignment. I've got my teacher's head on a stick. So here I am in prison.

Is it normal to make out with my teacher's head on a stick? I'm dressed as Sonic at the time. Does that change anything? So anyways, my teacher tried to screw me over. Part two of two. I want to take the teacher and principal to court and get my damages paid. That sounds dirty.

Excess stress. Go ahead. Mrs. Sanderson didn't fuck me. I would like $5,000 in blue balls reparations. Excess stress from getting kicked out of an AP class mid-semester, right before finals, especially because it's a required credit to graduate, as well as my teacher flirting with me and giving me extremely personal

information all year that was inappropriate to provide me with in the first place. If you don't want to get stalked, don't have a place to live. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. As well as trying to pin this on me and blame me for being interested in their offer. This is bullshit. And I don't know what to do, man.

I want the principal and teacher to regret ever treating me like this i'm a well-rounded student emotionally stable i'm a well-rounded student and i work hard for the goal of graduation which just seems to get further and further away the more that this shit school system here gets involved. I'm the victim of everything that has transpired, and for what? Being misled by a teacher I had the hots for? Man, what can I do?

And of course, is it normal? Oh shit, I forgot. Is it normal? This isn't my diary. Is it normal to act on impulses without question? I thought a teacher was hot, so... You sound extremely unstable, and I feel sorry for your teacher. She probably just

felt pity for you for being so emotionally mentally retarded, and she obviously told you that this was inappropriate, so why would you turn up at her house? You deserve everything you got. No, that's... No. He found the teacher attractive, so of course he is entitled to sex with her. Nutshell, you're reading too much

in this creative writing assignment. Did we just find Stog's novel? Boner Man! Yeah. Actually, you stupid cunt, she prestiged me for being the deepest intellectual she knows in front of the class, mind you, and bragged about me to everyone.

She's an adult, and it's her responsibility to not disclose inappropriate information. Not mine. So put your foot in your mouth and jump off a bridge. Cut. Whoa! Also, I have a big dick. How do you do that? I guess you hop, like you... Because you'd have to

bite your own toe, and then sort of hop on your butt off the bridge. Look, unlike everything else here, I didn't think this one through entirely. At least she prestiged you. But now you've got to get all the unlocks again. Should I read the next reply to that or not? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, now it's popping off. Sounds like you're not even prepared to hear how she might feel about the situation. Look at her point of view. She takes a special interest in helping you get further ahead in your education and being friendly, as is her job. And you turn up to her house hoping to come inside and F-C-U-K her. French Connection UK.

Yes. Yeah, French Connection UK. French Connection UK her. I mean, come on, man. And don't get me wrong. I see where you are coming from, but dude, you turned up at her house at night uninvited trying to get laid?

Lol. Don't you know how teen comedies start? Well, no, you haven't peeped on her naked yet, so you gotta do that first. Yeah, this is an example of somebody trying to do teen comedy in real life. I gotta have two friends with me.

We've got to fall through a ceiling somewhere. Actually, the only time I've ever been told where a female lives, works, when she works, and what she's doing, and when, and when she's home alone, it ended up getting me laid. I mean, yeah, the charges are still pending or whatever, sure. But I got laid.

I hid it. Where do you live? Now I get to have sex with you. You know what? I'm going to call him on that. I don't think that statement is correct. I hope he never discovers the phone book and looks people up there. Jesus Christ. Okay, dear, when you get home from school,

I'll be at Aunt Margie's. Oh, God! Aunt Margie! I can think of one instance, and specifically where this didn't end up in him getting laid. Okay, yeah, but shut up. I also asked several of my friends and even random people what that meant to them, and they agreed it was always to get laid. I have several friends that are also rapists.

It just goes up to people on the street. Hey, let me tell you this long story. Excuse me, ma'am. I was in this AP class and... And there we go. We're out about an hour of people who are not, in fact, normal. Jimmy Franks, what did you learn this week? Oh, let's see. I learned some pretty good places to take a whiz.

Sure. That was cool. I learned that this is really more of a reassurance, that there are more cactus-sitting enthusiasts out there like myself, so that's good. You can finally start your club, yeah. But I think the thing I took away from this episode was that no

matter how crazy or misguided or plain wrong your idea is or feeling about something, that you can find validation in this information age on the internet yeah yeah that's a thought

that's simultaneously wonderful and disheartening because on the one hand you know people should be able to let their freak flag fly and you know god knows we live off of it and that's all great but on the other hand you know it's that sort of uh positive reinforcement of negative shit that led to the tea party in the

first place so you know a mixed bag i think this is probably the the internet or the worst part of the internet in its purest most distilled crystalline form it's one person saying hey i got a crazy i'm into some crazy shit. Is that cool? And then a bunch of people come in and say, yeah, bro, and high five. That's... It is. I mean, statisticians would call this a bad sample. Because what you have is one person opens up a door and shouts,

is it normal to fuck sheep? And everyone else turns around and says, I have no frame of reference! I have no context by which to draw and form conclusions, so yes! A thousand times yes! Well, I guess everyone feels better about themselves at the end.

By the way, you could feel better about yourself by going to our website. Oh, yeah. Is it normal to like the F Plus? Oh, you mean on Facebook? Sure. Well, you know, I would say that in fact right now is not normal to like the F Plus because we do only have, you know, a couple hundred people that like us.

So it becomes more normal the more times you tell people about it, and the more people you get subscribing to our podcast. Which I wish you would. Okay. You, the listener. Oh, not me. No, not you. I don't want your friends to listen. And until next week, keep maintaining that status quo. Bye! Bye-bye.