The F Plus - 88: I Can See Your Retch Marks
Episode Date: December 2, 2012It should be no surprise to any of you that a reasonable percentage of the population finds the female breast aesthetically pleasing. There are all sorts of scientific and emotional reasons for t...his, but some tastes can develop from there. Many would prefer that they have a certain girth but (much to the dismay of Coco T), many will also agree that there is such a thing as "too big". The writers in this episode, all of whom belong to the website TheOverflowingBra.com, would argue that breasts can't be "too big" unless the Earth fails to contain them, and then only just. This week, The F Plus delivers our one week payload.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Um, so, I don't really particularly like Dr. Seuss' first rendition of the Sneetches, but it's okay, I guess.
The Starbelly Sneetches had pelies of stars. The Plainbelly Sneetches had huge tits.
It's a really touching story, actually. Hey there, this is the F Plus Podcast
Terrible Things Read With Enthusiasm
My name's Lemon
And I'm John
And Lemon, I have a question for you
Do you like tits?
Sure, absolutely, yes
Now, what do you like?
Do you like big tits? Sure, absolutely, yes Do you like big tits?
Uh, you know, I
I like all kinds of tits
I really do
I'll take that as a yes
Now, what if they were bigger?
Sure, okay, sure, why not
Now, what if they were bigger than that?
Okay, that's a, yeah, I don't know
Alright, alright, now prepare yourself
What if they were bigger than that?
Okay, yeah, no, I don't Now, what What if they were bigger than that? Okay, yeah, no, I don't...
Now, what if they were even bigger than that?
John, what the fuck are you getting at?
I'm talking about tin inflation.
It's like, it keeps getting better because it's bigger,
because breasts, and they're bigger, and that's...
You know, some people base their whole sexualities over it
because it's the best thing.
So, it's like the inflation episode that we did before,
but it's specific to the tits?
Yes, very specific.
Okay, and it gets hotter the bigger the tits get?
Well, it's not so much that the tits are big.
It's more that they just keep inflating.
It's the motion, the upward and outward motion of them rather than the actual.
I mean, you know, they just got to keep inflating.
As long as they keep going. The act of the tits inflating is the sexy... I mean, you know, they just gotta keep inflating. As long as they keep going.
The act of the tits inflating
is the sexy thing. Yes, exactly.
It's more of an attraction to
a force of motion rather than an actual
body part or a person.
That sounds amazing!
Readers, assemble!
In the room tonight, we have Isfahan.
Big.
Chem.
Preg.
Slow.
John Toast.
Ag.
Kib.
Fa.
Fast.
Hig.
Huge.
Lack.
Magic.
RC.
Slow.
Slow.
Wow.
Bunny Bread.
Big.
Kub.
Fast.
Huge.
Instant.
Magic.
Mad.
Newton.
Nunchum. Portax. Kub. Lack. L kubu. Fast, huge, instant magic. Portex.
Kubu lack look multiple brag science TG.
Wow!
And lemon.
Non-consensual science?
Wow! All right, let's not fuck around.
Let's get straight into it, and we will start out with Sweet Tooth by JoJo.
Bunny Bright, you want to start us off with Sweet Tooth here?
I want to give this the proper gravitas.
Well, yeah, it's a good story. It should have a good reading.
Rachel
wrinkled her nose at the
white package set on the desk in front of her.
She had joined this class
because it was supposed to be easy,
not because she wanted to pretend
that a five-pound bag of sugar
was a baby and carry it around for a week.
The class teacher,
Mrs. Freedthorough, was telling the class to make the bag look like a baby and carry it around for a week. The class teacher, Mrs. Freedthorough,
was telling the class to make the bag look
like a baby and passing around
markers to do it with. Wait, really?
That's weird. She's taking
this, is this a college class?
I don't know. Do you still do sugar babies
in college? The strange thing, this is
intro to literature.
Rachel looked around.
Some of the other girls were there
drawing faces on their backs and feet
and hands as if they really
cared.
Which is impossible for...
Women can't care about things.
Rachel shook her head and drew a
smiley face on hers with a black marker.
This is so stupid!
She drew a face on it and said this is so stupid! She drew a face on it
and said, this is so stupid.
She drew this is so stupid.
Turn it into a face. She's really creative.
The bell rang and everyone began
to get up to go. Rachel
snuck the sugar bag into her backpack.
So wait, she wasn't even in this
class, was she? She's just there to steal sugar.
Yeah.
Rachel snuck the sugar bag into her backpack. in this class, was she? She's just there to steal sugar. Yeah. Rachel
snuck the sugar bag into her backpack.
Mrs. Freethor, we'll never know!
I'll just leave it at home all
week! Rachel got
on the bus and rode it home.
She rode the bag and she rode home?
She rode it home. Yeehaw!
She was on top.
She got on the bus.
People at the bus stop
She just flies by on it
This is so stupid
Also this person does not like dialogue attribution
Like I can't tell
She thought that or said it out loud
Things are said
Yeah I guess
When she got to her house
She threw her bag on the table
No it's muscles She mus threw her bag on the table. Threw, threw, threw.
No, it's muscles. She muscled her bag on the table.
It was such a nice day outside that she
decided to go out and sit in the hammock out
back with a nice glass
of iced tea.
Don't open your baby, Rachel. Don't open it. I'm sorry.
Get to me.
Rachel made herself up a
glass and began to hunt around the kitchen
for some sugar to sweeten it with.
Classic sitcom scenario.
That's pretty good.
None, there wasn't any in the kitchen.
There's a sentence for you.
Rachel sighed.
Her mom always forgot to buy stuff.
Great new sugar.
Her mom always forgot to buy stuff? Yep. It! Mom always forgot to buy stuff?
Yep.
It was just a problem that she had?
Mom, did you buy
a house? Oh, I forgot.
No, I meant to, but I forgot.
Then Rachel got an idea.
She went over to a school bag
and opened it.
And there was that stupid
fucking five pound bag of sugar.
God damn it. Wait a minute. Hang on.
Didn't you want to sweeten her?
Don't do it. She picked it up
and read the label.
Sugar!
Pure cane with some natural
additives. Grade fuck.
Wait.
The sugar's grade F. Grade fuck. Wait.
The sugar's grade F. Grade F!
They don't grade
sugar. That'll be the last
unrealistic thing to happen in this story.
And also, if it was pure cane sugar with
natural additives, why is that all the way
down in an F? That would be like a C.
I mean, Taco Bell
meat is like a D.
Also, you're right.
They don't grade sugar.
If I picked up a bag of sugar and it had a grade at all on it, I would put it back.
Yeah.
Fit for human consumption.
I've been to some gross-ass grocery stores.
I've never seen anything less than a grade A.
I don't think they sell that.
That's like depression.
Did she time travel to the Depression to find stuff with a lower grade than A?
Has some borax in it, but
you know, you won't notice.
A non-fatal amount. Somebody tipped over
the giant
tit-growing powder. Oh, no one will
ever know. Just mark that one
half. It'll be fine. Nobody will buy that shit.
Just whatever you do, do not go over the
serving size, whatever you do.
Alright, what's next?
Great, Ev!
Great!
I hope this stuff doesn't make me sick!
She said as she carefully opened one corner of the bag.
That way, she could close it up.
Oh, clever!
And Mrs. Freedthorough wouldn't be the wiser.
Rachel spooned out some of the sugar into a glass,
got some ice from the freezer,
and went outside.
Hang on there, Rachel. Did you open this bag?
Let me just check this corner here. Okay, this corner's closed. I'll assume the other
one's closed too.
Everyone knows when you open a
bag of sugar, you open all four corners.
That's how I do it.
The warm sun
shone down on her
And she had to squint when she went out
Rachel crossed her yard
To the hammock and climbed in
She took a
She took a sip of her tea
And set it down to rest on the ground
While she closed her eyes
To enjoy the sun
She furrowed her brows
All of them, she has twenty
And thought, boy that tea was
boy that tea was
sweet
I guess that was some pretty expensive sugar
sure that's how I got the graph
but it was great
Rachel's fucking stupid
she's really shitty at the alphabet
too she's just terrible
maybe A is the worst.
Maybe F is like the top shelf sugar.
Yeah. That's what the additives are.
But the sweetness
soon turned to a fuzzy feeling
in her mouth.
The sensation grew
and moved from her mouth down her
throat and into her body.
That's the problem. It wasn't sugar.
It was cocaine. Yeah, I was just about to say it.
This is the part where Inigata Da Vida
comes in.
Oh, my breasts feel huge.
Don't give it away.
It's all just an acid trip.
The fuzziness
grew and concentrated in her chest.
The Rachel.
Whoops. The Rachel.
It's the gritty Rachel.
The Rachel. That Rachel sat up and looked around. the Rachel whoops the Rachel the Rachel it's the gritty the only Rachel
we know or need
that Rachel
sat up
and looked around
what is going on here
with that sugar
bitch
yes
it was great
F
stupid
who is she asking
then Rachel
heard a sound
it was a bunch of people
chastising her
for being stupid
about sugar
calling her
a dumb bitch.
She listened carefully.
It sounded almost like someone was
pouring sand.
As she sat in the hammock and listened to that
strange sound, she began to
feel that the fuzziness was going away.
But a new sensation
was growing in her chest.
A sort of a stretching feel.
Like something was pushing on her
skin from the inside.
She looked down at the t-shirt
she was wearing beneath her overalls.
Something under her shirt was
swelling. But what?
So briefly, if
your tits just started
massively growing, like a
fucking scene from the Hulk,
is it really the visual
confirmation that would tip you off?
Like, wouldn't there be
like a, you know, a kinetic
feeling to your tits
all of a sudden being giant? Well, I suppose
like if your tits were feeling super
weird, you might be able to say like,
man, I just feel weird for some reason.
I suppose you would need the visual confirmation.
I'm saying this has happened to me many,
many times, and I'm just saying it doesn't normally...
Sure. But you don't know
whether or not it's real or it's imagined
until you have that visual confirmation. Yeah, I don't know if it's
phantom giant tit syndrome. Maybe
you should switch to, like, lemonade?
Maybe just not use that shitty sugar. I mean...
Well, I assumed
the F stands for
giant tits.
I don't know.
All right, go on.
Two round globes began to appear on her chest,
and she felt her bra tightening up around them.
The bra began to strain itself against her back and breasts,
but Rachel was enjoying it.
It felt so good.
Really?
Wait, are these two round globes different from her breasts?
Yeah, maybe her breasts had all the breasts on top of them. Two round globes began to appear
and they... Her tits grew tits? Right.
Strained itself against...
Whatever. Sorry. Whatever.
I interrupted again.
Rachel heard a pop
as the bra gave up to her growing
mammary.
And a button went singing around outside.
Now the t-shirt was
being inflated out like there were
balloons under them.
Rachel looked down in amazement.
They were getting huge now.
Her breasts were now the size of
melons and began to strain against
the front straps of her overalls.
Rachel watched as her breasts
continued to grow, billowing
out around the sides
of the straps, pressing on them
with ever-increasing force.
Rachel let her head fall back to the
hammock from pleasure, and her breasts
exploded out of her overalls,
sending the metal
clasps flying through the air.
What part of this feels good?
It doesn't matter.
Cutting into the
side of her...
Yeah!
She's getting pleasure from this, which is
incomprehensible. Well, because the
guy's jerking off to it, so I presume
the woman is.
Rachel looked down at the two
massive swells on her chest.
They were dented, as if retaining
the mark of the overall strap
in them.
Rachel, yes, the only...
Hey, look, he's got memory foam tits.
I guarantee it'll be the best sleep you ever have on my tits.
Look, as I put this glass of red wine on one side,
they drop a bowling ball on the other side.
Rachel, would you quit fucking quit doing that trick?
We're all barrel dressed.
The dinner guests are getting really worried.
Also, he used up all the red wine.
Rachel watched as they filled out and rounded
again. It reminded her
of one of those stress balls that were
filled with sand. Oh,
tits filled with sand.
The 40-year-old virgin.
Oh, shit! Rachel
realized.
My boobs are filling with sugar!
Yay!
Again, who is she talking to?
It's like she's explaining this for the benefit of the person whacking off.
Like, oh god, my arms are stuck.
She's like a Marvel Comics superhero.
Oh no, my laser vision is the only thing that can stop him.
Also, my tits are full of sugar.
Got to keep boobs from
expanding, and fast.
I think we'll leave
this one off there,
because there are so many more, so many, many
more growing tits.
But I just want to say, that's a good place to stop, because that's kind of the
turning point where it's like, we usually hit this point
early on with this kind of stuff, but that's a point where it's like,
alright, so this is about a girl whose tits are
growing. Already you're kind of in the weird thing, but whatever, maybe you like big that's a point where it's like, alright, so this is about a girl whose tits are growing. Already you're kind of in the weird thing,
but whatever, maybe you like big tits. But then it's like,
they're growing with sugar and you still find this hot?
It's like, then you're committed.
This is just your life. You look for giant tits.
That one lady that has like the double F,
that's all you live for. I mean, you've never had your tits
filled with sugar, but apparently it's fucking
awesome. It's really great. It would be funny if somebody,
like some fetishist was reading that
and they were jerking off. They were finding it all hot.
But then they got to that line and they just had to stop
and be like, what the fuck? Oh, gross.
Really? I take back all that jerking
I did. Well, not exactly
gross. Just like it
throws them off like they weren't expecting that
to... It's like, who gives a
shit what they're filling with?
Yeah, the only person into it are
these people who are really committed to Ann Mel Gibson.
Do you think these are diabetic perverts?
I mean, is that the key here?
Wow. I need my insulin!
Let me suck on your nipple!
Yeah.
Alright, so we're going to skip down
to a story called
The Breakfast Table
by Tenet.
Itzfahan,
you want to start us off
with this here?
Yes.
Camilla said,
look at these jugs.
Anyone want a milkshake?
Nobody that writes these stories
understands how quotation marks work.
No.
They're just all over the place.
Camilla said,
some...
Oh, yeah.
She rolled her back
side to side,
swaying the impossibly buoyant
and imposingly large breasts.
Her red shirt raged.
Yeah!
Fucking hell!
What's this?
I finally got to the rage of reading the giant text.
I'm jerking off with Andre the Giant, man!
Wondering why it even got put on this morning.
It would be an awesome twist if this whole story was told from the shirt's point of view.
Oh, hey, it's the kid who got turned into a sock
from that other episode.
Red shirt and a giant tit woman.
Why don't bad things always happen to me?
Why didn't I throw that machine away?
Anyway, Fole reached over and groped a big handful,
and Fal,
as in a baby deer.
Right.
Baby horse.
Baby deer reached over
and groped a big handful.
F-O-A-L.
Baby horse.
You know,
Bambi 3 went in
some interesting direction.
It's a horse!
Sorry, sorry.
I apologize.
My little pony
went in some interesting direction.
There you go.
There we go.
He could recover quickly.
You aren't shy,
are you,
Camilla Coode?
Without an opening quotation mark, which was stuck in the start of the story.
Well, neither am I.
Camilla thrust her hands in her panties, glancing at her stem.
What?
Of nerves, particularly precious, an entire crystal ball showing in its swirl of smoke that it wanted lubrication.
Her clit is smoking?
She's got... That was
four different metaphors in that one sentence.
That's pretty nice. Dynamite,
I'm just ready to go.
I like
that this person writing this is like,
I'm going to choose this horrible
fetish fic to try and be poetic.
To try and
build something. I came to he can be the classic one.
I stayed for the flowing prose.
Right, yeah.
The overflowing prose.
This is the fetish version of the Eye of Argon.
There you go.
And lubrication it got as Camilla licked her twat-soaked finger,
leaned back, and reapplied,
returning to pawing at the crystal ball
that now appeared translucent and glassy.
I don't think that was a metaphor
before. I think she has some really strange
job. Yeah, so, you know, she's actually
got, like, a little Precious Moments figurine.
Yeah.
Now we're going to test you guys'
wrestling impressions with another person.
Doink entered.
As in the wrestler?
Yeah, the cloud. No, it was in the sound effect.
The onomatopoeia entered.
As soon as I saw Doink, that's who I thought of, was Doink the Clown.
That's great.
Oink, oink, I'm a giant hitter.
Especially because it's a proper name, which she softly started scratching.
Fole turned to her, still petting the milk pouches, threw Camilla's red shirt, which fumed and prayed,
because what else could it do?
That's not an aside by me, that's actually in parentheses.
Yeah, that's in parentheses.
I think tits can do many things other than fume and pray.
If they can't pray, if it's out of religion, they're probably capable of a lot.
That one of the stiff nipples would slice away, turning the red shirt into a matching set of mud flaps,
which would woefully lack the one thing that would match her wearer,
a pair of garishly busty models laying out, bushes waiting to be sprayed with turf and grass.
That was one sentence.
And one sentence it was.
Lemon, are you sure you didn't mix up
this document with the bad sex fiction
document?
No, well, obviously no. This is the
titinflation, so everything's going to be really hot.
I think this was confused with
the I-wanna-be-hungry-as-Thompson
fic that Mike Bike wrote.
Yeah, it totally sounds like that Mike Bike thing.
Doink softly and shyly leaned against
the wall and turned, scratching into
stroking. She tasted herself
and continued stroking, muffling her
mouth in case cries should escape.
Her pudgy eel,
replete with sack,
stirred and bent and swelled. I don't even know
if we're saying metaphors anymore.
Yeah, I have no idea.
Stirred and bent and swelled into her hand
until it could no longer be held in its
panty pen, and doink
adjusting, let the panties down
so they safely popped on her thigh
below the sack and allowed the eel to swing up
bulging obscenely, venous
and oozing. Camilla eyed it.
I want a protein shake,
she sighed.
Oh god. What?
I'm sorry. I want a protein shake, she sighed. Oh, God. What? I'm sorry.
I want a protein shake, she sighed.
She sighed.
If only there were one nearby.
Oh, a penis!
Wait, is it a penis or is it an eel?
Maybe it's not an eel.
I don't know.
Fole chose this moment to yank at Camilla's shirt collar and expose a nipple,
to which she applied her mouth after lingeringly licking the areola tonguing as those teenagers who have no sense of ending or a purpose to their flickering until they come upon the other tongue which they suck and suck at like owls as it were reassured ending of the world.
That was worth it, right?
Yes.
Another all one sentence.
Paragraph.
The red shirt sighed relief.
This, at least, was a start.
Although Fole had to continue to hold the shirt collar down to stop it from riding up on Camilla's underboob.
I like that word, underboob.
Camilla, meanwhile, gave Doink the come-hither look, but Doink only returned the come hither look And come hither looks flew like lightning
In some timeless war between the gods
Jesus
Doink squeaked his horn
Where no matter how many mortals are exchanged
Bartered down the river of Leth
The gods remain stoic
And immovable
I was trying to jerk off a long time ago
But
This person went from fetish to Don't you like loving stares? and immovable. I was trying to jerk off a long time ago, but...
Well, don't you like loving stares?
Because that's doing it for me.
Yeah, that's true.
Levin was right. This person went from trying to write a fetish story
to just trying to be, like, literate.
I think, again, I'm pretty sure
it's the Penny Arcade guy who wrote this.
You know what?
This is a review of Bioshock.
I think the person writing this...
Yeah, exactly. I think the person writing this had two Word documents open.
One was like, all right, I'm going to write my giant tit fiction here.
And then the other one was like a creative writing assignment, and he kept getting the windows mixed up.
Yeah.
I don't know why my English teacher won't look me in the eye anymore.
Just because I'm writing boob inflation fiction doesn't mean I can't show off my literary chops.
Anyway. Anyway.
Yeah.
Doink finally broke the stalemate by leaning over and swooshing the panties off.
Swoosh.
That's the noise that panties make.
Doink, swish the panties.
Doink, swish the panties.
She realized in that fatal moment, cock bobbling underneath her so hard that it hurt, and her balls hurt, and the...
Oh, so I guess it's hers? I don't know.
She has balls?
It's not an eel?
Does she have a pee-pee and balls, or just balls?
I don't even know anymore.
And the only solution that she had going was to stroke the fire out of them in that fatal moment for the second time in the sentence.
In that fatal moment for the second time in the sentence.
For only laxity and certain death can come of it, body rotting away until it is nothing but dust and all our friends are left to wonder at the funeral why the dead spent all his final days in bed as her lips smooched at the scalding head, although only a few hours old, already acrid, arcing with the electricity want to need and come that she could put her mouth to it, period.
Doink pulled her hair back and took the eel into her throat. A relative virgin, Doink gagged, unacquainted
with the stench of her own aroma, the salt
of her flesh, the heat of her nether regions,
all one word, but so drawn on by
her lust and more than likely testosterone
she bobbed up and down on the eel,
eyeing the twin apples
God damn it. Jesus Christ!
At its bottom enviously.
It's just like a pile of random crap. He's like going through it and he's like, God, I use the word tits so often.
Let's see.
Thesaurus.com and...
Yeah, this is more weird man-child stuff.
It's like, well, I can't say balls.
That would be too on the nose.
Tee hee.
Well, but why is...
Okay, so I think Doink is sucking his or her own dick.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what got on her.
So why is she enviously eyeing her own balls?
She has them.
They're attached to her crotch, I think.
But they're not yet in her, his mouth.
I don't even know.
No, the thing is that they're attached to her, but...
No, but she's eyeing them enviously.
I know, but she doesn't actually own them.
She rented them, and she hopes to own them
in the future.
You read ahead to the end, didn't you?
Man, I wish I had been rent-to-own.
Well, she shouldn't have bought the strap-on
that was an eel and two apples.
Not very convincing.
Doink pulled her hair back
and took the eel into her throat.
A relative... Oh, I already wrote that one.
It's kind of running together.
The display of solipsistic self-consumption wrenched Camilla from the moment.
I can sympathize with that.
Solipsistic self-consumption.
Yes, that's right.
As opposed to, like, really selfless self-consumption.
Yeah, magnanimous self-consumption.
I give to myself for all.
I'm doing this for you people.
She drew back, trailing a string of milk as Fole leaned forward to follow, except since Fole's hand had not come along.
Also, the red shirt flew up over Camilla's tit, just the one, encasing its pale flesh again, but having a lot of trouble disguising its curve.
Break it up, Camilla hollered.
The sick sound of the eel inconveniencing Doink's orifice.
What?
Baby, I'm going to inconvenience that orifice.
That was kind of funny, huh?
And Doink gulping down that inconvenience was the only sound.
Camilla got up and smacked Doink's back.
Camilla repeated,
Break it off. Aren't you at all curious how each of us is sporting these?
Camilla fumbled for words.
Kind of, yeah, I guess.
Her tongue glancing her lip, remembering the moment only seconds ago
when she was massaging her clit and having a good time like it were yesterday
and fading quickly.
Enhancements, Camilla abruptly finished
having forgotten what came before and caring little
for remembering it.
Not at all. Doying
mouth over her cock but
gubbing all the consonants.
Camilla gestured Fole to come over.
When Fole did so, she whispered
in Fole's ear.
Fole pulled back.
You want what where?
Fine, I'll do it, Camilla snapped.
Camilla ran her hands over Doink's back, the vertebrae invisible, as they usually are.
Amazing that such a shapely woman would be such a tool, Camilla muttered.
Camilla smacked Doink's bottom, who squealed around the cock, only getting deeper in her saliv- salival melt.
Jesus Christ.
What?
Yeah.
Salival melt.
Salival melt.
Camilla ran her hand over the red surface
coming to where it dipped,
pulled it aside,
and plunged her finger into Doink,
who surged forwards,
bumping her head against the table
and falling away from her cock and balls.
Doink crashed on the floor.
She whoop!
Woohoo!
Brast bloopers!
Is she dead?
Full asked.
Of course she isn't dead.
Her cock is still switching, isn't it?
There's no such thing as reflex actions. Of course she isn't dead. Her cock is still switching, isn't it?
There's no such thing as reflex actions.
That is what they taught me in my CPR class.
First, check that the cock is twitching.
Second, put a mirror or glasses under their nose.
Camilla proceeded to prod it with her toe. I think we're stopping a bit.
We can all just imagine that Doink is dead.
So basically we're just going to work up to the best sentence.
Well, it just keeps going in this confusing...
Because it's just...
I mean, it's just...
It is hardcore smut, but the problem is that there's no...
I have no idea what happened in most of the story.
The thesaurus abuse is really getting in the way of the smut here.
Yeah. Yeah. here. I think that
the people are hermaphrodites?
Maybe? I don't know.
We're still sure that one of them's a wrestler, right?
Right. It seems like there were a lot of extra genitals
in that story.
What are we going to do with the surplus?
We can't just leave my hair to rot.
Also, I didn't read it that well, but anyway.
I think you read that as well as anyone could possibly read it.
Yeah, I was just going to say, is there a good way to approach that?
No, no, no.
Jesus.
Yeah, don't feel bad.
You did a stellar job for what the hell ever that was.
One of us could have made that art, yeah.
But anyway, the best video game ever by Tiger Ass.
It was the co-winner of the 1999 Beamer Award.
B-E-A-M-E-R Award
for Best Vignette.
So this will be really good. You'll like it a lot.
Uh-huh.
The Breast Video Game Ever
by Tiger Ass.
For those who love stories of
breast expansion and over 18 only,
please, this story is written only for enjoyment.
It's not for science.
Well, I got bad news for you.
Any similarities to
actual events or people is purely coincidental.
And horrifying.
And I would like to be informed of
a new video
game for home gaming systems
has just been released to the market.
I'm good with specifics. That's why I won an award.
The video game for my stove is not out yet.
Just picturing this at like an E3 press conference.
The guy in the suit up there is introducing this very slowly.
A type of Japanese anime fighting game,
not unlike others,
that had finishing moves to basically kill off the opponents
at the end of the best of two rounds.
There was plenty of competition on the market,
so the designer made all the
warriors female!
Is this a Skullgirls design doc?
This attracted a majority of
males to the game, but surprisingly enough,
nearly an equal amount
of females!
Nope. Nope.
Inaccurate. Lies. Lies.
Lies.
The main boss was a muscular
female who blew up the losers with a tire pump until they exploded.
Lies.
No girl would like this.
So it's like Dig Dug?
Tit Dug?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh, you remember the music. Awesome. That was awesome. See, the difference in this version of Dig Dug is you just keep blowing up that one enemy until you get off.
Alright, this action brought thousands of chuckles and giggles from the players.
Everything seemed fine for the first few months of the game's sale.
Chuckles and giggles?
Yeah.
From the players. I just love this idea of two guys at Arcade Machine and one wins and they're just like,
Thousands of them. Yeah, from the players. I just love this idea of two guys at an arcade machine and one wins, and they're just like, tee-hee!
Tee-hee-hee-hee!
Thousands of them.
That is, until it was mysteriously recalled rapidly by the manufacturer.
I don't know how adverbs are supposed to work.
It was recalled by Team Ninja.
It's like, we made three of these already.
They gave no explanation for it, but even doubled the purchase price as a refund.
Every copy had been returned
and destroyed, except one.
A lone copy.
Owned by a young teen named
Susan Delanzo.
This creepypasta sucks.
Oh, it's gonna get really
scary, though. She didn't know why
they were recalled and didn't care about the money.
By far, this game was the best she'd ever played, let alone owned. She didn't know why they were recalled and didn't care about the money. By far, this game was the best she'd
ever played, let alone
owned. She would spend days
playing, and each time got close to making it
to the final level, but didn't quite get
that far. I don't understand what's appealing about this
game. Like, why does she like it
so much?
Because it has really nice balance, you know, the characters
each bring something different to the table,
and also they all have gigantic tits that explode.
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
Finally, the first day of summer vacation came.
Without school to attend, she played her game more and more.
She was already planning to play her game all summer long
when she was informed by her mother
that they were going to attend a family reunion in a month.
Susan hated family reunions.
She was always embarrassed by her mother and by her own figure compared to her cousins.
Uh-oh.
Yeah.
Mm.
Mm.
Uh-oh.
Mm.
Yay.
All right, Susan, it's time we all get our tits out again.
Don't drink the tea.
I'm serious.
Don't.
Don't drink the tea.
This iced tea just needs some sugar, and Mom keeps forgetting to shop.
Don't drink the tea.
This iced tea just needs some sugar, and Mom keeps forgetting to shop.
She was nearly elfish in her appearance, five feet tall, 85 pounds, with long brown hair,
and no curves to speak of.
Her mother often told her that she would blossom suddenly at any time.
She'd just be walking down the steps, and all of a sudden, kapow!
Boom!
Her mom's always fucking with her head.
By the power of Big Tits.
Oh yeah, the power!
But only her stories of her cousins of how blessed they
were when they were her age.
Susan just couldn't stand it. Susan was
so angry at the thought of the reunion
that she didn't realize that
subconsciously she had made it to
the final level.
She just dreamed of the final level in her head?
We're not really...
No, she only subconsciously made it to the final level.
Right, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, so in her non-waking mind, she's a much better player.
Yeah.
Her eyes suddenly focused at the screen when the boss made her speech.
What? I made it to the final level?
I just have to beat it!
I may never get this far again!
Was that the final boss's speech?
I guess that's the boss's speech.
What am I doing here on the final level?
It's almost like I'm the boss or something.
Yeah.
I may never need the boss again.
It really does undercut the trauma when the boss comes in.
What do I do?
I don't know.
Is this the bottom that kicks?
Oh, God, you look really difficult.
Like, how does this video game work?
I don't even know.
The boss was a tricky woman, but Susan was just a bit slicker.
She barely squeaked past the first round with a victory and easily got and easily gotten beat the second.
Susan breathed a bit tensely and her pulse quickened as she was about to die.
But in a quick sidestepping move, beat the boss.
Yay.
I'm describing a fighting game.
Describing a fighting game.
Wow.
Like, obviously describing a fighting game isn't going to be too exciting, but he's doing it in an even more boring way than you could possibly imagine. Like, he threw
a punch. Don't worry, it didn't land.
She jumped up and landed.
And now
to tell about my experience to crowning moments
of awesome. I was about to say, the only
thing that would have made this better is if they
had gone into disturbingly, like,
suspiciously painstaking detail
like using all that fighting
game lingo, and then she cancelled into
a frame-chipping damage
counter combo.
Oh, cancelled!
Susan squealed in glee
as the game asked her to put a name in
for a special entering. After
happily entering her name, she noticed
the boss character got up and go to her
victorious character and inflate her to a
very large size.
Okay.
Is this the reward?
Yeah.
Of course it's the reward.
This is the ending, I guess.
So if you lose, the boss inflates you.
So if you win...
If you win, the boss inflates you.
Yeah.
The character's chest swelled up bigger and bigger, and on its shirt it spelled out,
Congratulations, Susan!
The winner is you.
Here is your reward!
See?
Every copy of the game said Susan,
and they were just... That's why they recalled it!
Enter your name! Dave!
What the fuck?
But they were like, man, if we do this,
everyone named Susan who plays this is just
their mind's gonna blow up!
Susan waited to see what happened next, but nothing
happened on the screen. What?
I spend months and this is all it does?
She mentally screamed to herself.
This story
won an award.
You spent months on one fighting?
Suddenly she felt her shirt tighten.
She was suddenly
hyperventilating
in fear.
Susan's eyes were riveted to the screen watching the boss inflate her character bigger and bigger.
The congratulations was soon changed to your prize, Susan, which already happened.
Because the congratulations went to here is your reward.
Then I guess it went to congratulations.
And then it went to your prize, colon to your prize And this is the story that won
so just think of how poorly written
the stories have lost
Can we find the lowest ranked story
in the competition?
Tits by Mikey! I like tits the end!
Also I like
fried chicken on tits!
All I can think is that
it's really easy
The yes button was really easy to hit with one hand.
I need 250 words why titty's good.
Susan had to tear her eyes away and looked down.
Her breasts were swelling,
almost as if something was inflating them from the inside.
What could...
Oh, man.
Plot twist.
Sorry.
Who could have predicted this turn
of events? Soon, her
non-existent breasts were replaced
by a very buxom D-cup, and
they weren't slowing down. So,
they inflated tits, but
also they replaced her tits
with other tits.
Yeah, it's fine. There's multiple
tits balloons floating around in the room.
Juggling.
99 sets of balloons.
While this probably looked normal
on other women,
yeah, inflating tits
look normal on most women,
they looked as if someone
put two large honeydew melons
and attached them to her chest.
Amazingly, they didn't sag
and they weren't that heavy.
Hearing the sounds of ripping fabric,
she looked down to see
a pair of FF cups, so she
got distracted?
She looked away. It's like
she had a yawn and a stretch and when she
looked down again...
Oh, they're still growing!
Well,
might as well check to see how the tits are doing.
She looked to see
a pair of double F cup breasts bouncing on her chest,
not unlike standard basketballs, in the remains of her shirt.
They make the same sound as basketballs.
They're actually bouncing, yeah.
Don't get the heartblown globetrotters.
My name's Carl Malone, and I'm going to dribble your tits.
Not only did she experience this, but she also felt the tugging from behind.
She looked to see her rear had gotten shapelier as well.
Oh, red.
Now I'm grossed out.
I came here just for tits.
I'm sorry.
I'm checking out.
Each cheek was nearly a small soccer balls in shape and size.
She noticed the game stop and the boss winked at her.
Wait, they were basketballs before,
but did they shrunk?
No, no, her tits were basketballs.
Her ass cheeks turned into smoke.
Oh, soccer ball.
I'm sorry.
I wasn't listening.
Okay.
So one's orange
and one's black and white.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One's checkered, yeah.
She noticed the game stop
and the boss winked at her.
Susan smiled and removed the game.
Her mother happened to come by the room and stood in shock.
Susan grinned.
Guess you were right, Mom.
I did blossom.
And it was sudden.
Freeze frame executive producer David E. Baldacci.
So, wait a minute.
So, the... See, I thought that theyda-da-da. So, the...
See, I thought that they were going to recall the game
because it was going to
inflate breasts to dangerous
proportions, like it was going to be bigger than a house,
but if it's just that much,
then it's revolutionary, right?
We don't have to do any breast implant surgery
anymore, it's just...
No, yeah. You just beat the game.
All you have to do first is change your name to Susan.
Yeah. What if Susan
had put in, like most video game
players, when she put in her name, she put in something
like ass, or...
Oh, maybe that's an F, UK. Oh, see,
I thought the point of the game was
that the game knew her name. Like, I didn't know she put...
I missed the part where she put in her name. Yeah, she put in her name.
I guess. Oh, okay. It'd be cool
if she, like, put in the name of somebody she knew and their breasts and ass got big.
It's like the fucking Death Note.
Okay, let's start out with, up here, both lesbos.
That's always a good place to start.
Is the red part here?
Oh, yes, okay.
Yeah.
Both lesbos filled out impossibly with warm, tender flesh
that they were never graced with during
adolescence. And Jack was not
surprised when they tore off their t-shirts
exposing expanding mouths
that exploded with jiggling vitality.
Jack's just not easily surprised.
Yawn.
As their shirts were destroyed,
there was a sense that all vestiges of their past life
was torn asunder with them.
Titflesh expanded
and ballooned on both their chests.
There was no bra to rupture.
Not for these two.
So they weren't sharing one bra, okay.
Throaty moans filled the air as the searing
tide of orgasmic fury assaulted
them from within.
Soon the new mass of their
grandiose bosoms had become so large
that they jiggled from their own
fleshy weight. They were jiggling already.
They exploded
with jiggling vitality.
They're both like waterbeds. You touch them
once, they just go forever.
Not the rest of it.
They clutched their mountainous
tits as the flesh reddened.
Sure.
Gurgles of delight filled the air as the first droplets of milk became evident.
Wee!
But wait!
Their bellies!
That tiny swell right below the navel had begun, and the rest of their abdomens followed suit.
The narrator is way more surprised than Jack is.
They spread their legs wide as burgeoning bellies swelled
with a magical explosion of new life.
In a few skin-stretching moments of inflation,
the pair became as gravid as women ready to deliver their nine-month payload.
Oh, dude, that is so horrible! I think that is the first time I've heard a baby referred to asmonth payload. Oh, dude! That is so horrible! I'd like to say...
What?
Nine-month payload?
I think that is the first time
I've heard a baby
referred to as a payload.
Yeah.
It's a bomb.
Well, we're gonna be
hauling these babies
out to the ranch.
I'm gonna be offloading them.
Was it pain,
pleasure,
fear,
or joy
that they weeped with?
I don't know which one
I'm weeping with.
Perhaps all those at once.
Jack touched the taut wombs gingerly.
Ew.
Yes.
Yes.
He could sense it instinctively.
The children growing within them were magical.
They would be fae.
Sure, why not?
Yeah.
And it struck him then why this had happened.
He had a deep instinctive urge to right wrongs and seek just... What is going on?
Let me actually give you a little bit of backstory to Cox's Desire.
Cox's Desire is a story about two lesbians that don't want to have sex with a guy
but then they do
and it's really awesome
and then this happens?
Is this why lesbians
aren't into guys?
Yeah, this would have made sense if you had given us that at the beginning.
You should have just called it Batman the Midwife.
The Dark Midwife.
He had a deep instinctive urge to right wrongs and seek justice.
Which means fucking lesbians.
Now, here's a philosophical question.
What better justice than this?
Can we think of any better justice than this?
No, I agree.
I tried.
The giant-titted lesbian pregnancy?
No, no.
I used to work for Zimbabwean police, and so therefore
all justice
should be carried out by fucking women.
Both of the formerly bitter
dykes had been granted the voluptuous
figures that they never dared hope for
during their adolescence. Again.
Again with the adolescence.
I don't know. Okay. Yeah. They were more
busty and curvy than any
human had a right to be.
And now they were pregnant with fairy children.
I know, right?
Don't let me know.
It's like rain on your wedding day.
What better way to atone for the crimes they committed?
Being lesbians?
What better way to atone for the crimes they committed? Not wantingbians? What better way to atone for the crimes they committed?
Not wanting to fuck that guy.
That was their crime.
Oh, that one guy.
I got it.
Yeah.
This is actually a story of the most successful Pua ever.
He'd neg them into being totally different people.
Their bodies would now give birth continuously to the races that they tried to destroy. Oh, God.
I guess they're in Mormon heaven?
While calming forever the fires
of rage that formerly fueled them.
Yeah, if there's anything that's really calming and
really makes you mellow, it's giving
birth constantly.
Their eyes now held only deep,
profound fulfillment.
I think this writer has some issues.
Do you think?
I don't see that at all.
I'm getting an inkling.
I think you're reading too much into this.
He was raised in a traditional family where women should be in the kitchen barefoot and giving birth to elves.
Lesbians should be punished for their transgressions by fairy pregnancy.
Yeah.
Oh, fairies.
I'm sorry.
Not elves.
God, don't I feel stupid.
And still, Jack yearned for further gratification.
He rubbed his cock slowly, gingerly, and it happened just as it had before in the bathroom.
His bottomless reservoir of cum spewed forth, soon coalescing in the form of a pregnant
semen genie.
10,000 years for genies.
Such a crick in the neck.
Lollibop, I had them 40 things, and I'm made of cum.
So we would imagine, like, just like the lamp, like the genie actually, like, you know actually is like a plume of smoke out of his cock.
I dream of weenie.
Nice.
There you go.
Okay.
So here are a few selections from the W section of the Overflowing Bra, stories that start with W.
First of all, Wank Magazine, number one.
To offset the growing number of long-form, prolonged sexiness stories being bandied about,
I figured I'd offer up something a little more immediate.
It's actually longer than I planned.
No, I won't write a sequel.
Sorry.
Not a hell of a lot of B here.
I will not write a sequel.
Wank Magazine, number two. Not a hell of a lot of B here. I will not write a sequel. Wank Magazine number
two.
Wait a second. I swore
I wasn't going to write this.
But then I had an idea.
Mike buys an issue of Wank Magazine.
Wank Magazine number three.
Yeah.
Good enough.
Alright. Then there's
Warlock's Toys.
Bored Warlock turns
twins into sexy love slaves.
What?
He's bored, so he just makes
some twins as sexy love slaves.
Watch
the big ones. Channel 11 needs a
big ratings boost.
The story called Water.
The synopsis is,
Unknown forces a girl to absorb water straight into her breasts.
What?
Now you can't move.
Sponge breast round shirt.
Sponge breast round shirt.
There's also Water Weight.
Synopsis for which is, Bernie
invents powdered water,
then accidentally spits it onto
a beautiful woman's A with an accent
Euro trademark
S cleavage. Whoops.
The formatting got screwed up.
Yeah.
That's maybe just a European curse word
or something.
Fjokin' tits.
Welcome Home Part 2.
Jenny decides to use her powers for profit and takes off on a little working vacation
after leaving some others with the short end of the stick.
I like phrases.
Oh, this story is called what about a bus
what's up
what about a bus
what about it
uh
then there's wet dreams uh Katie
loathes her bosomy boyfriend
stealing roommate uh
but her plots for magical revenge goes
awry. Now she finds herself changing
into every bit of the cum-hungry
sex-starved cock-slut. As
breasts expand and bras fail her,
she will reveal a wondrous world of sexual
bliss. And I think that's it.
Who's next? I'll go.
Alright. Phaeophobia.
Oh, by the way, there are hundreds of these
by my estimation. The Phaeophobia series, by the way, there are hundreds of these, by my estimation.
The Phaophobia series, written by XXXEasel.
Curse of the Forest Nymph.
Official prequel to the story posted July 29th in the BE Story Club.
What sexual secret rules the life of Janet Hardwick?
Why does she plot vengeance against Professor Lily of Madison University?
Does it have something to do with her extraordinary expanding breasts?
Read Curse of the Forest and subscribe
to the BE Story Club and then get the whole
truth by reading Sweet Revenge to be
released July 29th.
And then we have
the one
Phaephobia Quickie's Pussycat.
A short
story of lurid lust, a certain
unicorn returns for a boo burgeoning sex fest
everybody knows the unicorn i'm talking about right i don't need to name him okay yeah that
unicorn i don't mean to be too coy here but you know but a surprise is in store for her in the
dormitory showers. A sick, sick
tale. I'm offended I even wrote it.
Don't expect a classic of
Western literature, semicolon. It's
just a quickie. And there's
first, last, always.
Boring, well-to-do, middle-aged couple
try a new birth control pill
and a new depression medication.
Life is never the same again.
What? Oh my.
What an exciting night. This is a slice of life right here.
That has B-G-A-G-A-R, big, chem, huge, L-G, ment, M-P-G, and slow.
So it's a Final Fantasy spell list, apparently.
Honey?
Good.
Honey, I think things are going kind of slow in the bedroom.
Let's change our medications.
It's like 70-year-old people.
It's not even bad.
Right, now I'll never get osteoporosis.
Yeah.
I just like that description because it has nothing insinuating any kind of hotness in it.
Yeah.
You know what?
That would be, I would honestly think that story is not ironically awesome if it just were that and no sex at all.
Just a bunch of these people going like.
Just trolling him.
Now, there's another series here. I'm not going to read
all these because they're long, but the series
is called Fitting In at the Wren Fair,
so I give you three guesses
as to what this person
is into other than
writing breast expansion stories.
You know those Wren Fairs. They're really
exclusionist. Bouncer right
outside. Yeah, totally.
Also, I think they probably
like the corsets
and how boobs
pop out of them
yeah it's a bunch
of fat girls
a bunch of stupid
fat girls in corsets
being like
I got big tits
that's hot right
there are two stories
there's Full Moon
by Doody Doody
a slim gawky girl
named Allie
harbors a deep
powerful crush
on her best friend
and when the moon
grows full
she learns there's
more to her friend
Jen than she thought.
Female transformations, massive belly breast deflation,
lactation, following this tale of inner goddesses,
evil priestesses, and true love, blah, blah, blah.
But there's another story called
Full Moon.
A cheerleader
learns that bullying the wrong girl can have
utterly awful consequences.
Ugh, gross.
That's it for me. That's horrible. I think that's funny.
Actually, I want to... Velvet St. Croix?
I need you to do one more.
Sort of near the top.
The complete epic, illustrated.
The first two chapters, plus the
final third installment. At last, the secret
is revealed. Who really stole
Lisa's human dildo spell?
What schemes will
be hatched by those already enchanted by her
sexual sorcery. Nerds
will get laid. Fae will breed. Humans
will descend into nymphomania with a stadium
full of lusty, busty victims of
libido magic gone wild.
Illustrated. Oh, that's not how
that was written.
Illustrator!
There you go.
Portex, what did you find?
So, first, I chose L.
This is the L section.
First was Lamprey Lust,
Special BE Edition.
The description is,
how the hell did they get this big?
It's like a sitcom Breasts, are you growing again?
How the hell do they get these things?
Next was larva
An Amazon growth, breast expansion, muscle fantasy
How far will the mysterious stripper go
To increase her powers of muscle and breast growth?
Too far, I'm sure.
An increasing vision of future gender relations.
Is this like a fucking
college paper? Yeah, it's
an intriguing vision. So this is predictive.
If there's anything
guys who like to go to strip clubs,
guys who go to strip clubs, if there's anything
they like, they love muscular women.
I like how he says it's a breast expansion
muscle fantasy and then goes on to immediately
say, this is a story about increasing muscle
and breasts. It's like, yes, I got that.
Oh, I get it.
Throwing some curveballs at us here.
You should read with that next time. It just becomes confused.
Next was Leprechaun's
Revenge.
Seamus O'Shanty, the Leprechaun.
What
country is he from?
I don't know.
I don't think I have no idea.
Oh, it's Shobin O'Clover.
Seamus O'Shanty, the leprechaun, returns for revenge on Bobby and her stripper friends.
Lonesome in Las Vegas is Big Breasts in Las Vegas.
For a change, finally.
Bright legs, big titty.
Hey!
I like it.
The next one is Lust Potion 69
with no description whatsoever.
Speaks for itself.
You don't really need one.
It's always Potion 69.
Yeah.
Come on.
Luck of the Irish.
Stephanie discovers the family curse.
Breasts that grow when she has sex before marriage.
Why is this a curse?
That's a question.
I'm there.
That's him turning to the audience.
How is this a curse, guys?
Is that like a Pinocchio kind of thing?
Like every time she has premarital sex, they get just a little bit bigger?
Yeah.
I think, I guess. And the last one is someone who is
incredibly creative. Lisa's glory
hole. A female chemist
finds a formula that makes women's breasts
grow. Oh, good.
Also,
maybe a glory hole appears at some point.
Warning. I wrote a story about tits.
Tits getting bigger. This wrote a story about tits. Tits getting bigger.
This is a big tit story.
All about tits.
So for those of you here at the overflowing bra, I would just be advised, this story has
some tit growth in it.
I don't know.
That's a trigger for me.
John, what you got?
Well, funny you should mention just the matter of factness being the comedy, because that's
a lot of the E section here.
Like the story Eclipse.
John's wife discovers that his cum can
make her grow.
I don't think
you even need to read the story now.
I think it just means literally she got pregnant and then that was it,
right?
Very boring story.
Biology or magic.
Nine months later, she gave birth.
Let's see, what was the other one?
Well, you don't mean she gave birth.
You mean she dropped her payload.
She dropped her Elvin Faye payload.
Now, this one is also a...
Let's see if you think she's using these resources correctly.
This is emit a time.
I don't really know what that means.
Okay.
A biochemist uses her boyfriend's time machine
to go back and give herself bigger tits.
Go back in time?
I don't understand!
Now that you're back in time,
you gonna go and kill Hitler?
No, not exactly.
With my tits, yeah.
It's number two on her to do
when I have a time machine list.
I'm actually downloading this one, because I'm really
confused. Oh, God, there
are many chapters.
Now, Martina, you're not going to use my time machine
to give yourself bigger tits, are you?
Doc, no!
I wouldn't do it at all, shit!
But, Doc, you turned your...
You made a time machine
out of your tits?
What doest thou? She's looking at a Polaroid of her tits? What doest thou?
She's looking at a Polaroid of her tits and they're fading out.
You guys may not get it,
but your kids are going to love it.
I'll read the only
line from that story, which is in all caps.
This is in chapter
minus ten.
Don't ask me, I haven't got a clue!
Okay. Fair enough.
That's a much better synopsis.
I don't know.
I blacked out when I woke up.
This was in Microsoft Word, so you fucking read it.
I don't know. Essence.
An alien's presence transforms
a man and wife in an attempt to rule the world
by turning everyone into a sex monster.
Eric!
And then Essence 3A, Resistance.
A scientist and his lover try to resist the alien essence.
Everything big!
And then Essence of Justice.
Okay, so Essence 3A was written by someone else, I guess.
And then another essence, Essence of Justice. Okay, so Essence 3A was written by someone else, I guess. And then another Essence,
Essence of Justice. Ted gets rid of
his ex-wife Jean with a formula that makes her
expand into a giant water balloon.
Just a balloon?
Everything big.
Everything big.
Everything big. A mysterious costume
shop that sells...
Well, take a guess.
Costumes?
I don't know what you...
What?
Mysterious costumes?
Uh, fake IDs.
Tits!
Oh, tits!
Eileen.
Eileen is a nice girl who has an accident
wherein which she bumps her head.
She probably wrote that sentence after.
Afterwards, her boobs start growing
and she has to deal with unrealistically large boobs.
Unrealistically.
I like the tags on this.
I don't know what they stand for, but the tags are just,
Lack, slow, wow.
One of the tags that some of these stories have is weird.
Yeah, I've seen a couple of those.
Now, I've got to say, you'd think that would be redundant,
but it's a relevant tag when it's weird for this group.
The tags for Ed chapter 12, in order, these tags are big, instant magic, meant, mm, asleep.
It's lost its charm, I'm going to bed.
It's the tags and a plot synopsis.
Bunny Bray, what did you find?
Well, let's see here.
There wasn't
enough that said mammary to it, which was sad.
This is the whole reason I chose M.
That's such a pre-made pun. What the fuck?
I really am sickened by that.
We got Molly's mound, so that's a double M.
I think that counts for something.
It's part of Seek and Hide.
They have in parentheses.
Molly is about to turn 20, but instead of being excited, she is torn up by
her insecurity about her boyish frame.
She seeks help in an unconscious
unconscious...
And, yeah,
a sleep trigger is planted by a strange mistress
at a store called Seek and Hide.
Molly will certainly not be small for much longer.
The first story of what
possibly could be a Seek and
Hide series. So get on the ground floor with that one.
And that's not true.
We gave up on that.
There's no more Seek and Hide.
Yeah.
I got frustrated at the word unconscious and just said, fuck it.
I got three sentences in.
And then just repeated tits, tits, tits, tits, tits.
Miss Sheila DeVille's school for wayward boys.
Miss DeVille's school uses an unorthodox method of corporal punishment.
Uh-oh.
This is another Ed Miller story found on Fiction Mania.
I wonder how come no one else uploaded it here.
Uploader.
Also, this is probably a piece of shit.
Here's Miss Milk Queen.
What? Go ahead. Go ahead. Miss Milk Queen. What?
Miss Milk Queen.
This is the whole description.
I'm sorry for my last story.
So many people are angry with it, so I hope this is better than my first.
Oh, God.
Nice.
Let's see here.
This one's really... Mir Uh, this one's pretty.
Miracle Titty Grow.
Nice.
A woman develops an experimental cream maker that makes her dot, dot, dot, develop.
Yes.
Hmm, yeah.
Way to be coy on fucking theoverflowingbra.com.
What's the point of being sly about it at this point?
Miracle titty girl.
Oh, I mean miracle boobie.
No, shit.
Miracle chest thing.
I just pictured some really tired guy watching the infomercial for that at late at night.
It's like, I got to stop doing this.
This is not good for me.
Got to stop getting drunk and watching it. Let's like, I gotta stop doing this. This is not good for me. Gotta stop getting drunk and watching.
Let's see here.
Oh, Mind Trip.
Here's the description.
It's like Firestarter, except the heroine gets her powers from drugs,
and she's obsessed with big breasts and doesn't start any fires.
What?
Yeah, I mean...
Aside from all that shit.
Stephen King is probably going to sue over that.
There's Mind Your P's and Q's.
A fairy godmother curses a woman's breasts to inflate whenever she hears pardon.
What a weird curse.
Unlocked from the Disney vault coming this fall.
That is so strange.
Let's see here.
Mind of their own.
A strange book changes a bimbo into a woman.
Wait, no.
Excuse me.
A strange book changes a woman into a bimbo.
Oh, damn it.
Change her back.
Change her back.
There's the plot synopsis of Master PC Wing Girls.
Uncle Hank's immensely insulating graduation gift
consisted of three gorgeous women
tasked with finding Sidney a real live girlfriend.
The Wing Girls guarantee success.
But face it, Sidney's a fucking train wreck.
He's going to need help.
I'll make a fuckton of it.
God, what the hell?
I don't know.
Sidney's not the end.
Oh, here we go. Matthew 7-12.
Yeah, they decided they would look to the Bible
for inspiration about their titty-growing story.
Yeah, there was one in E
called Exodus 2017. I think it's the sequel.
I'm not kidding.
Let me look this back up.
Again, so many different issues
colliding in these stories, I'm sure.
And then there's a story that's just called
Mood Boobs.
Oh, why are you sad, Mood Boobs?
Why the long tits?
I just don't feel good.
I'm Mood Boobs.
Oh, man.
That's great. feel good. I'm mood poops. Oh, man.
That's great. And there we go!
Round about an hour of the biggest hits in the world.
John, what did you learn this week?
Well, I learned about a little something I'd like to call fetish drift.
Fetish drift.
Yeah, and definitely having a term like that for it and coming up with it definitely comes from reading and watching way too much of this collected fetish stuff over the terms of this podcast.
But it seems what happens is like with these stories, you know, you do porn of these stories and you build up a whole bunch of porn and it's just like
regular porn except instead of sex it's you know sneezing or whatever sure right but it's funny
because it seems like as these communities go on and as they build up a basis of that kind of
material people kind of get bored with that like the basis of it even though the fetish is so weird
you'd think it'd be exact but the exact exactness of the sneezing or whatever fades up fades away and so it starts with like oh tits
are getting big and that's all i need and then it just spins on it goes on and builds up and
finally it gets to the point where it's like the tits have to be inflated with low-grade sugar i
guess or it has to be sugar in them because you have to add the sugar angle to make it exciting
again it's just the fact that these people get so wrapped up in it that it becomes unexciting
and they have to soup up this weird fetish is just amazing to me.
Absolutely.
You know, and you feel bad for the punters, like the people that are just getting into
the fetish, you know?
And they think to themselves, oh, man, I bet tits inflating would be really hot.
And then they stumble on the site and they're like, well, I didn't mean that big.
Let me work up to it, assholes.
I mean, this site is honestly, it's the fetish equivalent of American consumerism.
Because it's like somebody says, hey, fellas, you guys like tits?
Yeah.
You guys like them big?
Yeah!
You guys like them way the fuck too big?
I guess so!
In for a penny, in for a pound, and by pound, I mean 40-pound tits.
Exactly.
I just, the things you can get used to and the things you can just, that just become
a part of your life like that.
Yeah, absolutely.
Even over the course of an episode where
all of a sudden you're reading the third story
and then it's like, her tits got
to the size of basketballs.
And you're going, yeah, what's next?
Yeah. Anyway,
thanks so much to King Calamari
for that submission.
A friend totally said that to him.amari for that submission. A friend totally
said that to him. He didn't find it.
Somebody
totally, not him, totally found it.
I was holding onto these giant hits for a friend.
Thanks very much to King Calamari
who went to thfpl.us
and followed
the instructions on the site to submit content
as so many of you have.
So please go to the site, leave some comments, submit stuff if you find it, and we'll see you again.
Yes, thanks for listening.
Oh no, I'm going to end this recording, but I can't reach the mouse because my tits are so big.
Oh no.
That's so hot!
Bye bye.
Oh my. See, I thought maybe you were scrolling through the doc
I didn't know it was another link
Because as I was scrolling down to find justice
I just passed the phrase
I mean the term
Pregnant semen genie?
So... We are pregnant semen genie? So.
We are pregnant semen genie!