The F Plus - 9: The Transformers Radio Variety Hour

Episode Date: December 3, 2009

Deviating ever so slightly from our typical podcast formula, this is a dramatic reading of two different pieces of Transformers fanfiction. One is called Ravage 3 Bodies Evolution, and the other is called Dinobot's Old Technology. Our readers play various roles, and bring the thing to you in the style of a radio drama, which no doubt was the intent of the authors.

🎵 Hello, ladies and gentlemen and our boys overseas in Iraq. This is the F Plus Radio Podcast on the Internet. I, of course, am Lemon. And I am John. And we have a special, special episode for you. This is all about a show about robots who turn into cars, who then turn back into robots. They are Transformers.

Yes, our show today is filled with transforming automatons, thrilling action, and barely passable grammatical structure. Alright, that's enough of that. Yes. In fact, that's what we have. This is sort of a special radio drama edition of the F+.

This is two different, I guess you'd call them scripts? I don't really know what you'd call them. They are kind of like scripts, but they're kind of not. They're also fanfic. Um, they're not really much of anything. It's kind of a putting puddle, a pudding rather horrible words and sentences and nothing makes sense.

Yeah. What we have is, is two pieces of fan fiction, uh, about transformers. And these are by people who, but yeah, obviously very much enjoy the transformers universe.

And, oh, and it's the specific, like there was a cartoon where the train, there were transformers that were animals. It was called beast wars, beast wars, transformers that were animals. It was called Beast Wars. Yes, Beast Wars Transformers. So, yeah, it's, yeah.

Yeah. You're probably not going to follow along the story at some point. Yeah, here's the thing. We were reading it and we couldn't follow along. Yeah, yeah, I have no idea. So don't feel bad. Robots fight each other. You know, that's pretty much the important crux of it.

In fact, if you do have an idea of what the plot is, please send it in. We'd be curious to know your answers. We're very curious. Yeah, let's get started. I see a vector of biotic in people. As the voice of the narrator, we have John. Just then. As the voice of Vok, we have Isfahan. Hello.

The parts of Ravage, Shadow, and TM2 Cheetor will be played by Acer Echowaddle. I don't know how I pronounce my own name. The part of Jehoxus will be played by Squiddy McConwy. Oh, hello! Megatron, Magmatron, and Hotsarad will be played by Kumquat. Hello. Devastator,

Tripitipitrio, and K-U-P Cup will be played by Boots. Just when? Unicron and Vector Sigma will be Jack Chick president obama is un-american and i will be optimus prime and grimlock ravage 3 bodies evolution by tiger megatron as originally posted to alt.toys.transformers in light of the new Ravage Walmart toy and remarks by Hasbro in the tech specs that Shadow Panther

on there, Hasbro.com, is Ravage in disguise, here is a cool fanfic of mine merging all three personas and body types. Here is a brief introduction paragraph. Yay! At the end of Beast Wars Season 3 Episode 2, Tarantula's robo

done insects kick Ravage body and head parts into the ocean. Now the story will pick up from there. Oh, good. As the Vok, the O.K. turns back to Earth in the third season of Beast Wars, Episode 50, called Other Victories. That was a good Parag rap. You should be totally a good rapper. Vok. That was a good Parag rap. You should be totally a good rapper. What do you think? Vok.

Oh no, our plan of making a Transformer return to prehistoric Earth has failed. Tarantulas. Ah, boom. Just then, Tarantulas explodes. TM2 Cheetor. Come on, I have to get you out of here Tigerhawk Who is this

carrying Tigerhawk's body Let's scan his body Cheetor and try to reduplicate it Scanning is complete We managed to download all of his previous body blue rinse as well Perhaps the captured spark of ravage can be of use to us after all.

Just then, Cheetor runs out of the cavern with Tigerhawk on his back. Time passes, and the Vok develops several strategies of their own using the time-traveling factor as their main weapon, coupled with the Ravage experiment. The Beast Wars eventually end, and the remaining bots head off into space to enter the time portal that will bring them back into

their own timeline and a direct path to planet Cybertron. I'd just like to offer a little bit of criticism on that, is that you mispronounced Develpose and Remang. Turn off your mental spell check. How dare you, sir? You're ruining the immersion.

My mind is blocking these out. I need to let this plot Develpo. Yes. All right. Get the Remang lines right. Ravage. Why am I here floating in space like this? You are not in space

You are in our home world that is invisible to scanners and the well-trained eye How many more years will you keep my spark from joining the Matrix? You will be given a new mission and it will be to destroy the Cybertronian threat I have no need of another mission Let me fade out in peace

Jaxus You should be honed to be given a purpose in life. Jaxus. How is it possible that you live? I thought you died in the Tiff Generation 2 comic. Fourth wall broken. I've been reading a comic about myself, and I find this highly doubtful.

My body died, but my spark merged with the Vox species and gave them a new purpose. We are the result of spark mergers, the clone ing of spark process. Since Jaxus was responsible for us being created, we decided to let his park join us and lead our species into a new era and purpose.

What plan? Why am I here? Let my spark go join the Matrix. Whereas you have given up on yourself, we will provide you with a new mission and give you a new body and powers to match. He is a traitor and lacks the intelligence to carry out our orders. We have no choice but to trust him, but we'll implant a self-destruct device should he rebel. If I decide

to take the plan, then what's in it for me? A chance to change TF history and become the leader of the Cybertronian race. I will need a new cloaking ship. What? Just make sure you get the job done. Just then, the complete Valk Intelligens takes the downloaded scans from the Cheetor body

and see that there are three forms of Cheetor that they downloaded. Regular Cheetor, TML Cheetor, I mean TM1 Cheetor, and TM2 Cheetor. Scanning is complete. Let the spark of Ravage now join the body of regular Cheetor's newly designed body. Just then, the Ravage spark enters the new body.

Why were the original yellow Cheetor colors not used? Why black? The color black was chosen so it could hide better in the shadows. This new body is stronger. From now on, my codename shall be

Shadow. Get the time portal ready, Jaxus. What course shall I set it at? Prehistoric Earth. No, we are done with that time, Line. We are sending you back in time to 2005. Why 2005?!

So Ravage can destroy the TF Transformers while they're confused in battle. But what if Unicron found out he would destroy us? Immediately, Unicron is indestructible and has never been destroyed. Surely we're no match for him. There is nothing that can destroy him.

He's indestructible and has never been destroyed. Well, I'm reassured, guys. My favorite part is after Y2005, there's a comma right before the question mark. That means you take a breath before the question mark. Don't question my orders. Just press the time portal button.

Just then, Shadow gets into his cloak ship and heads Fopper, the 2005 time portal. Shadow arrives in the 2005 time portal. Shadow arrives in the 2005 time frame, cloaked in a ship invisible. Megatron. Reach their defenses, Constructicons.

Merge into Devastator. Constructicons merge into Devastator and start attacking Autobot City. Devastator. Prepare to die. I better get out of here. Optimus Prime. Dinobots, destroy Devastator.

Grimlock. Why not come with us, Prime, to Autobot City? I have to find Megatron and talk some sense into him just then the Dinobots and Prime leave the shuttle I Ampersand head for Earth in different directions just then

Megatron, slow down. We need to talk. Decepticons attack Prime. Just then. Some of the Decepticons attack Prime. I see you're thinking ahead of the curve. You're not getting away that easy. Just then, Prime fights his way through to Megatron and corners him on top of a high mountain.

State your business, Prime. Just then, the two leaders talk things out. Meanwhile, Fox. Meanwhile Vox Let's check up on Shadow through our spy cameras and listening devices Come in Shadow Do you read me?

Who is this? It's the Vox, talking to you through a device we implanted on your body which allows us to telecommunicate to you from any time period or plaque fee What's the situation now? Not much! Megatron and Prime are talking out

their differences, and soon Prime will convince Megatron to become good again, and the Decepticons will follow Megatron's lead, and the two fighting factions will unite into a new faction called Cybertronians. I'm sorry, Aesir, you mispronounced Deepticons? No, you're right! And the Deepticons. I'm sorry, Aesir, you mispronounced Deep-tacons.

You're right. And the Deep-tacons. I'm sorry. The Deep-tacons. Deep-dickens. There is no reason for me to witness this historic moment. You placed me in the wrong time era.

You fool. You will change history and make the Cybertronane alliance void. What's going on here, Vok? I thought the mission was to be mild. This is too extreme. What? Missions are measured in Taco Bell sauces.

This mission just adds mountain to it. Hey, there's a bit too much spice on this one, guys. I want a different mission. Send it back to the kitchen. Just then, he got a new taco sauce. Surely Unicron will awaken. Oh, it's Surly.

Surly Unicron. You know what? Surly Unicorn will awaken. I'm the surliest unicorn. That's impossible. Unicron doesn't awake until 2021. Slash. I am against this order.

You're giving Ravage. Ravage, destroy the peace negotiations between Megatron and Prime by killing both leaders. Say what? Say what? Oh, you missed a Chris Tucker moment there. You have your orders. What is that you say?

I want to obey these orders. Megatron is my mentor. It's them or you, Ravage. You are a mere puppet to us, a slave. Just then. Oh, sorry. Just then. I was scrolling.

Just then, the Vox sent electronic pulses through Ravage's body and spark. I beg of you, stop. I will carry out your orders. Consider that a warning. Next time you disobey us, we will activate the self-destruct button and kill you. Next time you dis or obey. Why are you doing this? It's wrong.

How dare you question our orders, Decepticon. I am the leader here. Correction. You were the leader here Correction You were the leader I won't let you get away with this Just then A massive war takes place On the invisible Vok planet

And the entire Vok attack Jaxus and Jaxus Loses the battle and is damaged Beyond repair Just then Jaxus sees a ship and sets course for an unknown timeline. Jaxus wanted to go to 2005, but because he was

getting fired on, he rushed the process before the ship got destroyed. Thus, Jaxus goes, went, into an unknown timeline. The thus made it classy. Should we send a ship to pursue him?

No! Jaxus is hurt, damaged badly so badly he won't last through the time portal traveling procedure. Jaxus only has a minute or two worth of life before his spark dies. Let's

attend to matters at hand. Shadow cloaks the ship and fire torpedoes at the two leaders. As you wish. Just then! Just then! As Prime is talking to Megatron, a cloaked shot fires and hits Megatron. I thought we were

discussing peace, Prime. How dare you to send one of your Autobots to attack me from behind? What are you talking about? Just then, Megatron turns around and shows Prime the battle wound on his back. Megatron transform gun mode.

What can't I transform? You studied my weakness, and made an Autobot hit me in the right spot. I don't know what you're talking about. How dare you take me for a fool, and here I was trying to reach a peace between us. Just then, Megatron and Prime...

Hey, hey. Oh, wait. Oh, it's the line. That's Megatron's line. No, there's a quotation mark there. Oh, there is a quotation. Well... Just then! Just then! Megatron's lying. No, there's a quotation mark there. Oh, there is a quotation. Well. Just then.

Just then. Megatron and Prime attack each other. What have I done? Was my personal life so precious to me that I would risk the lives of others? I don't care if the Valk kills me. I must set things right before it's too late. KUP. Cup. Stay out of the fightalk kills me. I must set things right before it's too late. KUP. Cup. Stay out of the fight,

Hot Rod. That's Prime's fight. Yes, Cup. Just then, Cup gets a call from Autobot City and rushes away from the scene. Hot Rod watches the battle from afar. I must decloak and show my slef

to Hot Rod. Just then, Shadow decloaks and lets Hot Rod see him. Hot Rod. Whoa! Where did you come from? Hot Rod, I am from the future. You must help me stop this fight between Megatron and Prime.

Are you crazy? Those two will rip us apart in seconds. The Valk listens in on the conversation. Just then. How you dis Obeya's shadow? I am not your puppet anymore. Hot Rod, carry on the mission without me. You're the T.F. race's last hope.

The Matrix is a power source. Don't let it fall in the hands of evil. What are you talking about? I studied ancient cyber tree and law and Unicron is the brother of Primus and the only way for Unicron to die is by using the Matrix.

That's a law? Yeah. I am a giant robot lawyer too. That's a law? Yeah. I'm a giant robot lawyer, too. That's a very specific law. Maybe you're not familiar with cyber train law, but it's very... It's postgraduate stuff, mostly. I didn't know Primus the Band had a brother.

Well, the precedent was set in Megatron vs. Ferguson. Well, the precedent was set in Megatron vs. Ferguson. Who's Unicron? Prepare to die, Ravage. Oh, no. Now we won't know who Unicron is. Just then, the remote-controlled self-destruct button gets pressed. Ravage explodes, and Ravage's last words to Cheetor are Carry on the mission without me. Yes sir!

Just then! Hot Rod rushes into the battle but with the two powerhouse transformer leaders fighting he is no match and gets in the way. Megatron and Prime die. Thus the Vox mission was a success. Unicron Who disturbs

my sleep? Unicron feels the Matrix within Prime, and Unicron got awakened in 2005 instead of his original wake-up of 2021, because he sensed the pain of the Matrix getting damaged when Prime died. Thus that pain and noise awoke from him earlier.

Time passes through the TF movie and the What? Megatron into Galvatron. Wow. Matrix to Ultra Magnus. Unicron sends Galvatron to attack the Autobots and Unicron wants the Matrix

destroyed. The two Autobot ships get blasted by Galvatron and the sweeps. Galvatron eventually destroys Ultra Magnus and gets the Matrix. Guys, I think I'm a little lost at this point. I'm going a bit too. Oh, Hot Rod.

I sense something is wrong. Head for planet Junkion. Hot Rod gets there and finds out the Matrix was ripped from Ultra Magnus' chest. Hot Rod then re-mebers the word Shadow told him and heads for Galvatron to get the Matrix was ripped from Ultra Magnus' chest. Hot Rod then re-mebers the word Shadow told him and heads for Galvatron to get the Matrix

back. Meanwhile, on Valk Planet... The Ravage Spark has Ratoranid to us thanks to the remote control device implanted in it. Let's use Ravage at our disposable again and send him to the next season 2 agenda

part 1 to 3 episodes timeline. Wow! Wow! How do you talk like that in real life? Perhaps he can change events on the Beast Wars time era and make Beast Wars Megatron not get killed

at the end of Beast Wars Season 2. Where Megatron and Optimus Prime have a breakdance battle. Alright, alright. Other Vok members. My Vok member though? Yes.

How can we trust him again? He will be a mere brainwashed slave and remember not noting all he will remember is what we let him remember Just then the bot gets the downloaded body of Cheetor's TM1 form and colors

it black again so it can blend in the shadows better and the bot calls him Ravage again Just then Ravage is. Just then, Ravage is reawakened in his new TM1 body. Wait, when did he stop being black? Uh...

Wasn't there an argument about that in the beginning? He couldn't go back, guys. I thought they made him black. Ah, whatever. Once he went black... Look, I don't think you're dedicated to Beast Wars Season 2 Episode 4 as much as this guy is, alright? So you need to just calm down and be patient. You need to read the source material again.

It's true. Yeah, I know. Is this canon? Oh, totally. As in, you want to shoot it out of a canon when you're done. Yeah, I guess. Who am I? You are Ravage, our slave.

You will do our bidding. Yes, master. You are to go to the beast planet and destroy the Maximals and the Preaticons. Yes, master. Just then, the Voxen ravaged through the time portal

and he accidentally gets caught in the space-time Anonaly and gets sent to the Trip-erdacus base by accident. Oh no. Try Predacus Trio. Something is headed toward our secret base. Can it be

Tarantualus? Try Preocatus Tro. Oh yeah, my name changed. Okay. No, his energy signature is not detected. Just then. Just then. Just then.

I didn't have a closing quote. It's reflexing. Just then, Ravage smashes into the Tri-Priatica's secret base. I am Ravage. Is this the B-Star's time era, and is this Earth? Tri-Priatica's trio. It changed again. Who are you, and who sent you?

Just then. Just then. Just then. Just then! The Ravage gets stunned, and the Tri-Priyadakas trio examine him on a table. Tri-Trio! He appears to have advanced technology built within him,

and is brainwashed. There is a mind-controlled device, too. Just then! Just then! He's brainwashed, and there's a mind-controlled device? too. Just then! He's brainwashed and there's a mind-controlled device? Kakastrio operat on Ravage and take out the Vok implants and un-brainwash him.

However, Ravage lost some of his memory and gets it back little by little throughout my fanfic. Ha ha ha! Well, I guess you don't have to read the rest of it, right? Because you don't have to. fanfic. You don't have to read the rest of it, right? How the hell do you put spoilers into your own fanfiction? How did I

get here? Last I remember, a blaster shot me in the TF 2005 movie and I died. Try Priatica Strio. We found you and repaired you. You are no longer a Decepticon, but a Predacon now.

How can I repay you for saving my life? We ask you to merrily go back and check up on Tarantulas. On Tarantulas, yeah. And help him complete his mission. We died at the very beginning?

We are even. Yeah, I guess he did. Sounds fair. He's gonna get resurrected at the end of the 2005 TF movie oh okay thus the Beast Wars season 2 death of Megatron gets altered

and Megatron lives all the way to the end of Beast Machine season 2 and dies in the last episode of BM season the events that took place in Beast Wars season 2 agenda part 1 to 3 was because of the Vok that sent Ravage back in time, and the tribe

Pratadauos Trio that altered his mission in the Agenda mission, instead thus changing history once again. What the hell? Meanwhile, on Planet Vok... Who changed the future? Vok is now a planet.

We lost all contact with Ravage. We lost all contact with Ravage. His implants are gone. He didn't complete his mission again. His SPAC will return to us and his new TM2 body is built for him for his next mission. Other Vok, destroy the TM2 body

because Ravage will fail again. Too bad the Vok hasn't discovered that once Ravage got the implants out by the true predatory trio, his spark was released from their control. Thus, Ravage's spark is at last

going to join the Matrix on Cybertron and Ravage's spark is traveling through space from Earth to Cybertron. Wow. I think that was supposed to be for the narrator, but I'm not sure. It's a mode time transformers. Ravage hasn't returned. I am growing tired of

trusting our plans to another species other than us. Just then... Oh, crap. He doesn't really give you any warning, does he? He even linked it with a freaking comma. Well, it said the same quote. Just then, the Vok rips out the sparks of Air Razor and Tiger Hawk and combine both empty bodies, and the 75% of the Vok race enter the Tiger Hawk body

and head for Earth in Season 3, Beast Wars Episode 50, Other Victories. A small number of Vox stay behind on the Vox planet. Just then, Jaxus comes back from the future Beast Machines era and returns back to the Vox planet. Jaxus destroys

a remaining Vox ship and grabs a TM2 new ravaged body and heads back towards the Beast Machine era. As Jaxus is in space, traveling through time to the very beginning, very beggining of Beast Machines, Jaxus intercepts Ravage's spark before it reaches Cybertron. Jaxus is still heavily damaged but presses on. Ravage, you can't join the Matrix yet.

Cybertron needs you. Aren't you part of the Vok? I was wrong and have killed the remaining Vok species. The Vok species is 100% gone. Wow, I never thought that could happen. What's wrong, J-Axis? You are bleeding badly. Megatron is running wild on Cybertron! What's wrong J-Axis? You are bleeding badly. Megatron is running wild on Cybertron. In the very beginning of Beast Machines

before the Maximals arrive on Beast Machines Season 1 Episode 1. How can I hip? I am just a spark and my body is gone. Yeah, I'm not a cool cat, man. I need a hep.

I think stepping on a syringe at the beach will do it. I got your new TM2 black colored body from the Vok before I destroyed them. Please take this body and help the Cybertronians on Cybertron fight Beast Megatron. Help me correct my evil ways

for you Ravage. I will help save that which I helped the Vok destroy. Wow. Thank you. I will do my best to complete your wish. Just then Ravage's spark enters his new TM2 body.

It's time. I died and my spark joined the Matrix. I will see your spark in the Matrix on day. It's time I saved Cybertron from Megatron. Sadly, Ravage is too late and Megatron has the whole planet under his control. Ravage teams up with a bunch of Maximals and the heads for Vector Sigma. Once there, Ravage summons Vector Sigma.

Vector Sigma. Who dares awaken me? I am one of your creation. Can you reconfigure these Cybertronians and make them immune to the virus Megatron has set loose on Cybertron?

Your wish is my command. Just then, Vector Sigma reconfigures the Cybertronians into four Dinobots and four mutants. I am also now as the Oracle. That's good to know. I mean,

a group of Maximals is returning to Cybertron to try to free the planet. In case I am unsuccessful, please give Optimus Primal the 411 on the sit-to-a-talk. Ooh. Alright.

And guide him throughout the Beast Machine Season 1 and 2. It's good to know that they at least still have information on Planet Cybertron. That's awesome. Not only do they have information, but it's access by dialing 411. That's a funky, funky, fresh slang right there.

Yeah. Also, please reformat the returning Maximals Primal Crew and make them immune to the virus like you did for the Dinobots and Mutants. If you're unsuccessful in your mission, I will give Primal Visions and also Reformation his Maximals. Okay. Thank you.

Just then. Just then. Just then. Travis notices a bunch of beat-up equipment and rebuilds them into Beast Riders and Deployers. The battle is now underway, and Megatron, for the first time ever, builds a small army of Vechicons that are Mirage and Scavenger. They are without Spark and are an entire drone army.

Just then, Magmatron returns home to Cybertron and sees the fighting situation. Sadly, Ravage gets cornered by 100 Vetchicon drones and is near dead. Megatron watches on as the leader of Magmatron approaches to Ravage. Magmatron. Actually, he Actually, the leader watches as the leader of the Rebellion slowly dies. Then Megatron... Oh, did I skip a line there?

Yeah, because I'm slowly dying here or something. Sadly, the Rebellion gets cornered by 100 Vechicon drones and is near death. Megatron watches on as the leader of the Rebellion slowly dies. Magmatron! What's going on here?

Megatron has gone mad and killed all of our people. I formed a rebellion against him but am now dying. How dare one robot decide the fate of our own planet? How dare one robot decide the fate of our own planet As you can see, it's a blast enough to story if you want it. How dare one robot decide the fate of our own planet and kill an entire race of Transformers? Please continue my mission and take over as the leader of the Rebellion.

I will do my best to save our planet. Just then! Just then! Savage dies, and at long last, his spark joins the Matrix with Jaxus. We must fight Megatron hard. Everyone attack the drones while I go after Megatron. A battle like never before seen happens. And Megatron and Max the T-Megatron have a face-off battle. Tell, don't show.

Seriously, guys, it was totally awesome you should have seen it it was incredible it's too cool to write about really he doesn't have the budget to show the battle not enough words I will show you no mercy and will kill you for what you did you talk big

let's fight Megatron and Magmatron have a vicious battle. Magmatron manages to scar Megatron's eye and both get beaten badly by each other. Magmatron is stronger and almost kills Megatron, but... It's time you died by my hand! Hardly! Drones attack! The drone attack a badly beaten

Jaxus... What? What? My drones have completely destroyed the whole I'm so pissed at you, I'm gonna kick this other guy's ass! I don't even know.

I won't let you win. Oh. Goodbye, Magmatron. You failed, and so did the Rebellion. Just then... Just then... Just then...

Megatron delivers the final blow that completely destroys Magmatron, and Magmatron Spark joins the Matrix. I won at last! But Primal's crew should be returning to Cybertron in exactly 100 years. I won't make the same mistakes I made with Ravage and the Rebellion. I will build an exosuit and control Cybertron by remote control and design even stronger Vetchikons. Now all I have to do is wait for Primal and his crew so I can catch them off guard and destroy them quickly. This is't he end of my fanfic.

The next chapter that idiot Bob Skur wrote and is called Machines and will be two seasons long that has 26 episodes in it. This is the end of my fanfic. Just then. Just then. Just then. Just then.

Just then. I like how Just then! Just then! I like how at the end they had a just and a then together, so it was just then! What the hell happened? I think when he was assessing the battle scene, he was like, I don't know, that's an awful lot of just thens I'll need to describe this battle scene.

I'll just say it was really cool. Well, he gave us the overview. I mean, we know that it was a cool battle. Right. It was like never seen before. This is probably more of like a pitch outline. And it's still never seen because still no one's ever seen it. I like how the characters refer

to like TV seasons and comics. They know they're in media. They're nerds for their own lives. I think what he's doing is he's making a sort of post-modern expression that

all of us are truly within our own fan fiction lives. It's like we're aware of our own mortality. Yeah, we're not looking at the overarching consequence of our actions because we're too busy. What is that?

What was that? That was supposed to be a bomb noise. I thought that was the sound of the semen going back up into the coffin. Now, as good as that first selection was, and as long as that first selection was, we couldn't stop there. We had to fill out the full hour just because there's just so much material here. So we took a little excerpt from the next one and kept it going here.

Yeah, this is, I believe it's called Dinobots Old Technology. The link is obviously up on the website. The piece is long. So we actually just took the last section of it where fighting, I guess, happens. Just then it happens. Yeah, even in this short excerpt, there's still just enough crazy to keep you going there.

Yeah, so we're going to start with the back from the aliens, and yeah, it'll be great. Oh, yeah. Megatron will be played by Squiddy McConwy. Oh, hello. Black Arachnia and Inferno will be Jack Chick. President Obama is still un-American. Cheetor and Tarantulas will be played by Acer.

President Obama certainly is American, you libertarian nutbag! Isfahan will be playing the part of the computer. Computer voice activated. Rhinox and the narrator are John. Ron Paul Megarex is Kumquatsup I am a robotic dinosaur And I am Optimus Prime

Back from the aliens Predacons base All the Predacons are occupied to their duties Except Terrorsaur Who is trapped in his quarters Until Megatron decides to free him. Mega Rex. Growl. We should free Terrorsaur and attack the Maximals and destroy them for good. Megatron.

Yes, but before, I must meet Tarantulas for important business. On that time, Tarantulas appear behind Megatron. Well, I am here, and I have a really good news for you, Megatron. Well, would you tell me what is the good news? Yes. I have created a weapon capable to blast the maximal shields in two cycles you know that actually sounds like Transformers

voice acting more like He-Man voice acting Ayo is accidentally genuine the Hercules cartoon voice acting really and where is the weapon genuine. The Hercules cartoon voice acting. Really? And where is the weapon? In

my lair. Well, what are you waiting for? Bring me your creation now. That wasn't what are you waiting for, that's what do you waiting for. Did I say what do you waiting for? I hope so. You sort of did.

As you wish, but I must request something in exchange. Grr. What? Well, I want to be second in command of the Predacons. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

You want to be second in command of the Predacons? Give me a break, yes? Let's see. You are not really in good position for negotiate. In the same time, Megarex and Inferno point their guns at him. Well, maybe you're right this time, Megatron. But be careful.

One day you will regret your act against me. Of course, of course. But for now, we must pay a little visit to the Maximals with your little toy. Who's laughing there? I think that's the narrator. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's Megatron. Who's laughing there? I think that's the narrator. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I can try. Ha ha ha ha.

Somebody told me a really good joke. Ha ha ha. UFO detected on the orbit of the Earth. Can you... Rhinox! Can you scan it? Negative. The UFO is too far.

Can you scan it with a sensitive scanner? Yes. That computer is a dick fuck you computer I did not see that one coming well activate the sensitive scanner and scan the UFO

co-pooter sensitive scanner online scanning UFO optimist to the computer. Do you detect life form, energion, or something?

Yes. Two energion signature known as Airazor and Tigatron. All the maximals. What? What? And how much time the ship will reach the Earth? 1.2 megacycles.

Computer, try to contact the boom! Suddenly, the bases blast by some firepower. By some Predacons firepower. Cheetor. Shield online. Outside the base. Ha ha ha ha ha. Keep fire, you fools.

It's turn to Tarantulas to pay. Tarantulas? Hee hee hee hee. The weapon is ready. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Good! What do you waiting for? Fire! After the shield down, Inferno,

Megarex, and Balacarachnia will get inside the base, and others will fire at the base. Tarantula! Tarantulas! Active the weapon, and a mega blast appear and pulverize the base. Tarantula's active the weapon and a mega blast

appear and pulverize the shield inside the base. What? How can this be happening? Shouted down the shield in nanoclicks. Silverbolt and I are going

outside. Rhinox, continue your work at the computer. We need to contact Airazor and Tigatron. We really need them if they are able to fight because we are

in a really bad situation. As for you, Cheater and Rattrap, be alert. Mega Troll or the others will certainly try to get inside the base. Optimus Primal, maximize!

Silver Bolt, maximize! They both fly outside the base. By the way, I'd like to point out that was Sir Tatantly I'd like to point out that Reale has been mispronounced every single time so far

Inside the base Comforter, can you contact the ship? Negative, but I scan all the frequencies. Black Arachnia, shout the system down now.

I can't. I must find the password for shouting down or install a virus on it, but I don't have any virus. It will take at least ten cycles to find the code. And anyway, I don't have to obey you. You're just a second in command.

And for me, second in command means suck. Damn. That is sassy. Just then he snaps his fingers in a Z motion. You will regret your insolence, female. But not now. We have job to do. Megarex pushed Blackarachnia and tried to pirate the system,

and in two cycles, he shouted it down. Because I know the password, he was a Maximals one. I know by. What? What? Blackarachnia, think.

Mmm, curious. How did he find the password so fast? Mmm. Maybe this is just a coincidence, but anyway, I'll keep an eye on that Mega Rex. Inferno. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Now that the system is down, the Maximals have no chance to survive!

Shut up, insect. We must get to the control room, the central room. Blackarachnia, lead the way. Blackarachnia, lead the way. I have found a free... And... All system down. What? Rattrap!

Hey, what's happening? Cheetor! I bet some preds are in the base. Let's go after them. Slag! We're all gonna be scrapped for good! Maybe you're right. Our last hope is that

Eraser and Tigatron get back here before they scrap us all. Let's go. Outside the base, the Predacons, QS, Terran, Megs, Wasp, Rampage, and Terrasaur fires at the base. Excellent! Yes Terrorsaur fires at the base.

Excellent! Yes! Continue to fire at the base. In the base. Mmm. I hope to see some Maximals to slag. Ha ha ha! Yeah! But we must take control of the base first.

In that time, Rhinox, Rattrap, and Cheetor appear. Cut to outside the base. Megatron, what are you doing? Ha ha ha ha! The answer is simple. I take the control. That's hot! Megatron fires at Optimus, but he dodged and he hurt Silverbolt.

Silverbolt! No! No! Ha ha ha ha ha! Terrorsaur, destroy Optimus Primal! Terrorsaur, take his super gun and fires at Optimus. Boom! Primal his down. Cut you inside the base. The Maximals! Mega Rex Terrorize! For the glory of the royalty! Terrorize! royalty. Terrorize!

Black Arachnia Terrorize! Terrorize them brutally. They all begin to fire. We are toast. They have a better fire power. We must get out of there before they scrap us all Exclamation

Rhinox begin to be mad And with one punch he blasts the door And they all run outside We must destroy them now Let's go No The royalty told us To take control of the base! Yes, but sooner they'll be scrapped, sooner we will have taken the control for good.

He's right! Let's go! Mega Rex and the others fires at Rattrap, Rhinox, and Cheetor. They are all offline. Megatron and the others resemble all the Maximals and prepare to destroy them. Destroy them! Just when they begin to fires at the Maximals, a ship appear from the sky and fires at them. What? What in the hell?

By the pit. Royalty! They fire at us! Yes, they do, fool. Predacons retreat. The Preds retreat and the ship land near the Maximals' offline buddies. Suddenly, two strange robots get out of the ship.

What? Is it really them? Airazor and Tigatron? In a new form and more powerful than before? To be continued. That's a good point to break it up. That one guy there who did the Half-Life

readings. To be continued? I just love the late revelation that Megatron is actually Mr. T. I just love how the narrator is finally surprised by this. He knows what's going to happen, and he's like, man, I can't believe this. What?

I want to read the first comment on here. It says, I levio this, in quotes, fanfic, newest thing ever. If my calcul are are correct that is how did something like this happen actually he's doing that sarcastically 5 out of 5 notice how how did something like this happen

is completely correct except that the exclamation mark and question mark on the other hand the second comment is the real winner there goes the fandom right, the second comment is the real winner. There goes the fandom! Right out the window! Hey, there goes the fucking fandom! Watch as it

fly bad landing! Oh my god! What are you doing to Transformers fans? This used to be a good fanfic community! Our author of the first thing we read I found his Twitter I would like to share this

Walmart employees are poor and uneducated I told the employee that I am a sophisticated and rich UPS employee. I make $50 an hour. Oh, you are? How much do you? I will go to Target, where the clerks and employee

know who to treat me and other employees with respect. You lost a custom, Walmart. Oh, no! They used to have such a rich tradition. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, it's even better if you read the next one. Go for it. Why was he at Walmart? I went to Walmart morning by Armor UP Optimus Prime and was told by the clerk,

I cannot buy it because of Black Friday sale. What the fuck, Walmart? I consider my slef to be libertarian as well and would like to nuwo where I can get more liberation information. President Obama is unmercon because he was not born

in the United States. I looked on the Google and could not find more information on libertarianism and it told me there wasn't much more. Well, there kind of isn't, actually. You know, it's pretty bad when... At Alan Combs,

President Obama is un-American because he was not born in the United States. How can he be president if he's not American? Oh. That's something else. He is living in a fantasy world. Yes. I wanted salsa with my breakfast burricio, McDonald's. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Is somebody peeing themselves? Is there a viper? At Marcus Good, what month is it in Holland? Do you like it there?

What month is it? What month is it? What month is it? The fist episode of V reminded me of the Obamas Presidency The head alien chick is like First Lady Hillary Clinton From Smallville

And it just stops You know what I think he didn't realize I didn't think he realized he hit his character limit And just kept on typing Does he believe that Hillary Clinton Is the current First Lady That's what he said It's like the First that Hillary Clinton is the current first lady? That's what he said.

It's like the first lady Hillary Clinton. You know how before we were like, we found it. It's like, oh, he wrote this as a kid. He couldn't have written that as an adult. No. Just looking at this. Wait. Wait.

Okay. Okay. Hang on. Okay. Okay. Here we go. TF buying tip for the day. If buying toy, make sure to carry hand sanitizers to prevent AIDS.

Cancer. What? My Megatron figure gave me cancer AIDS. Oh, my God. Wait, what was after cancer? My Megatron figure gave me cancer AIDS. Oh my god! Wait, what was after cancer? Other infectious diseases. After that, it's all downhill. This is amazing. This is absolutely amazing.

God bless you. I make $45 an hour at UPS. President Obama wants to teach kids to take it away from me on TV in schools. I find this highly dubious. I'd watch a show where children

take money away from him. Hell yeah. I would watch the hell out of that. Hell yeah. I would watch the hell out of that. Okay, you push him down, I'll steal his wallet. Kick him, kick him in the knee. Give him AIDS.

That's my, I can't smell it. Rub your hands all over his face. And AIDS infected. And as they're beating him up, he's like, no, what are you doing? Rub your hands all over his face. It's an AIDS-infected friend. And as they're beating him up, he's like, No! What are you doing? Fake his hand sanitizer! Drink it! If only Megatron was here to save me! And there we go. Dinobots old technology that is two pieces of fan fiction on record.

John, what do you think you learned today from all this? Oh, I learned that just then things happened. Oh, man, it's just, it's so great. I mean, you get bad fanfic, and I guess, I haven't really seen much of it, but I guess you got to get bad scripts and bad storyboards out there. But it seems like this one mixes it all together and also breaks the fourth wall without probably knowing what a fourth wall is. Yeah.

It's just throwing everything against the wall, and nothing really sticks, but what sticks is great. Yeah, the Transformers referencing themselves was terrific, but I really like the second one had this great kind of ESL feel. You know, like it's, I mean, maybe English is his first language, but it doesn't really seem like it. Yeah, that's what's, yeah, that's another thing there that's really neat about it is that sometimes you can tell people,

you know, they speak English. They know English. They just can't write well or at all. But this guy doesn't even seem to know how English works, like just basically. Actually, of particular note was – and the second reading was the word fire because the word fire was incorrectly used every single time. So, like, he would fires at a ship, and then he would take out his gun and fires. Yeah.

And, like, in reverse, too. So he just was very specific about always getting that wrong. I think it's, like, every time he writes, it's, like, you know how you answer a question on a test one way, and then if you answer it that way, the other question on this test has to be this way? He does that except with words. If he gets it wrong the first time, it's like, well, I've got to keep it consistent here, otherwise I'll fail fanfic. It blows my mind because he can't speak this way, can he? But he writes it like that.

It's pretty special. I mean, if he does, I'd like to meet him. I'd like to talk to him. You know? Well, what are you waiting for? Bring me your creation now. I want to meet a guy who talks like that all the time. How does it to meet you?

your creation now. I want to meet a guy who talks like that all the time. How does it to meet you? And that was episode nine. Thanks to the readers. Thanks to Boots Reingear for editing this

and putting it all together. Thanks to you for listening. Thanks to, I don't know, people that give, that talk to me. I like that. People that submit things

to our website, which is... Oh, that's a great idea. Yes. What is the website? Thefpl.us. That's correct. Yeah, submit things, write things,

talk to us, do whatever. Come visit us. It'll be great. You'll like it. Oh, yeah. And until next time, goodbye, I guess.

Thank you for listening. I've upped my internet connection. Ooh. How many internets? I've got double the internets as I did last week. You've leveled up. Yeah. Did you add your megabits to your Ramahertz or something? I called up the call center.

I applied some negs. Does this mean that you're a more capable PUA? Do you know who I am? I have a podcast, sir. Can we get mad here?