The Fighter & The Kid - Cream Pies | TFATK Ep. 1052

Episode Date: January 2, 2025

Brendan Schaub and Bryan Callen talk Bryan meeting a beautiful woman when he was 25, cream pies, NYE celebrations, quitting social media, vices, Whitney Cummings' interview with Andy Cohen oh NYE, wearing diapers in long lines, an 85 year old grandma defending herself against ab intruder and much more! True Classic - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/fighter ! #trueclassicpod JOYMODE - https://tryjoymode.com/fighter or enter code: Fighter at checkout for 20% off your first order

Yes we did, cause we back at it again, it's the fighter and the kid This is really the fighter and the kid Happy 225 225, 2025 bro 2025 buddy Where you been in 25 bro? Oh dude Here we go huh?

Oh here we go Everybody else is at home, not us We do a podcast Is everyone at home? I feel like there's some people working Roads were empty I got here in about 10 minutes It usually takes about an hour Zing Roads are so empty Oh yeah podcast is everyone else I don't I feel like there's some people roads were empty I got here in about 10 minutes yeah I didn't it will and you know I always go to the gym at 5 I went this morning closed closed on New Year's

that's right is it oh yeah no no no no wouldn't you if you're Jim wouldn't you want to be open cuz that's when everyone's like all right Jan one that's what I'm starting I figured be packed I don't, so they opened at eight. Yeah. It was the most dead I've ever seen it. Where's all the, where's all this? I don't have a lot of, I've always, first time I wasn't on stage in 15, 20 years.

It's smart though. Do you don't have to stay? I want to be with the family. Yeah. But New Year sucks. New Year's is always, the only time I remember People aren't there to watch you. They're there to get hammered and then they have plans

after, because you're not, you go to midnight, you do the watch you they're there to get hammered and they have plans after yes Because you're not you go to midnight you do the countdown and they're like, okay, cool. They're not paying attention I the only the only my the best New Year's I ever had I'm 25 26 I'm in London. I'm At a I'm with my family. I go to a house there is a family there, and well, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. She's 20, the daughter of this very wealthy family,

but she's with her boyfriend, sir. She's got a boyfriend there. Now, they're serious boyfriend, girlfriend. And hanging out with a boy, the guy's kind of a dweeb, but he seems like a nice guy. And I'm just that and the other thing. And the girls talking to me and I'm with them and I'm being my, I'm being my charming, funny guy guy. I mean, I got some wine in me, bro. I'm 25, 26. Yeah. Probably similar, bitch, you do now. That's fine. Right?

But it's fresh back then, bud. I know. It's fresh back then. I can't imagine the enthusiasm. Yeah. A bit of an article right now. Oh, I bet it's nice. Got to reinvent. I know. It's fresh back then. I can't imagine the enthusiasm. Yeah, a bit of a carnival right now. Oh, I bet it's nice though. Gotta reinvent myself a little bit.

Yeah. Which I'll do with my special, but calm down for a second. Yeah. So this, any other thing. Da da da da da da. I'm not thinking anything of it, but I can't stop looking at this 12. Brunette.

She's a brunette. And she's British. British, oof, the accent. The accent, but it's like a posh accent. But what will those sweater puppies do for me? The whole thing is there and the whole thing is perfect. English crumpet out the back? You would move her into your house.

Oh, yeah? You'd date her seriously if she didn't speak English that way. Built ethnic, but British accent? Thank you. Greek descent. Built ethnic. What are we doing? ethnic, but British accent. Thank you. Greek descent. Oh my god. What are we doing? So again, you'd move her, if she was like, for me, don't speak too much English.

You know, I don't. You'd go, well, I'm going to move you into my house. Yeah, English. And I'm going to get hung up on you. I'm going to date you. Yeah. Okay. And we'll figure out the language barrier.

You might be a serial killer. It doesn't matter. You can be, it doesn't matter. You can fill it up. We're going to, yeah. You can filled up. We're gonna be you filled out Correct. We got some I say yes. You have little Debbie's over here in the UK. What's that? There were cream pie. Hey All right, cuz you make we have double stuffed cream pies That's my old friend Brandon over there

No, no, no, no, she's too beautiful for that. I told you you move on Fuck is going on bro. Why you you you'd move her in. I'm sorry. Okay. That's fine. How the fuck is going on, bro? Why you bringing me? You don't like the cream pie? Why are you bringing, why are you putting yourself in here?

You're not even, I didn't even know you. Why you got it in my story? Why did you have to insert yourself standing in the corner going, was I even born? You're like this. Was I even born? You know what, sir? Yeah, I don't think I was born. I'll tell you exactly how old you are.

You were nine years old. Yeah, I can't be a cream pie right now. I don't need nine year old Brendan over there like, I'm all right. Donnie farted. All right. Yeah. Well, so, but I'm not thinking anything of it.

You're not thinking little Debbie here. But I'm thinking in my mind, but she's got a boyfriend, we're at a house, it's a thing. Your dad's there for God's sake. Dad's there. Yeah, dad's there. Everything's there. Mom's there, sister's there.

The whole thing. So it strikes midnight, Bubba. It's 1961 or whatever this was, right? Yeah. Yeah. And it's going, doong. And I'm happy new year, happy new year. The British are coming.

And I see her and she sees me and she comes right at me and starts making out with me. At midnight? Right there. Where's Dorcas Malorcas? Who gives a fuck? All I know is that I'm deep, I'm deep in her mouth. Okay?

At 1201. At 1201 we are kissing and we're like, and you know, when you're that age, it's like we're gonna fuck standing up somewhere in the closet. You can feel my raging 25 year old boner. Oh my God, we fall into a room. Through your tackies.

I'm dead to that. You and tackies, for sure. My sister, I think, knows enough to figure out a way to distract the boyfriend who happened to have been in another room at that moment. Team player. Team player. It's like count his money, let's be honest.

She's like, let's get over here. Yeah, he's counting his money. He's so much more richer than us. I disappear For way too long with this girl. I come back my dad goes What's going on? Where you guys been? He knows exactly what happened. Shout out to the whole thing is weird. The boyfriend is going huh? Hey, where you bit? What's going on over there? Well, you guys just talking I you know, it's a whole it becomes a whole scene So it went down among the family when you got down it went down because you know what?

Hey, if I'm gonna get caught I guess we fighting but yeah, this is kind of happy. Yeah, we got it This is what fighting for this like Braveheart. This is worth fighting. This is like the English This is my country. This is my home Vard. I'll stick up to the English. This is my country. I'll stick up the English. This is my home, bro. Yeah. These are my borders, you understand? Yeah, yeah. So this is how it is. Now, it's not appropriate, and that's the whole point,

because there's a time in life to be appropriate. But at 25, were you thinking, I'm going a little Debbie here, we cream pieing? We cream pieing? I didn't cream pie there. I didn't cream pie. Oh, wow, inching move. Yeah, I didn't cream pie. If there was't wow. And she moved. Yeah, I didn't cream pie. There's a time I'd be the time

I don't know why you have to use cream pie. Can you not use that because back then that wasn't even a thing I really it's a new thing important back then had been frowned upon I just don't shoot would she had been in the in the 60s where she'd been like, what are you doing? Yeah, I mean I sure, these things happen, and you tend to. I'm just too into it, I guess. Yeah, you are a little bit. You're turning into something.

I'm turned on. You're turned on, you're turned on. You're turned on. But there's a time to be appropriate, and there's a time to be inappropriate. And that was in 1962, you a bad boy. You a bad boy, you a bad boy. Dude.

And did you ever see her again? That's even hotter. I never saw her again, sir. I never saw her again. And remember, this was pre computers. This was pre, I think this was pre flight. I don't know, this was pre. You got there by boat.

You got there by boat. She didn't get a mail. If I wanted to send her a letter, I needed a carrier pigeon with a small, with squid ink and a feather pen. Yeah, we don't have time for that. We're gonna do a long distance relationship in the 40s. Correct sir.

Wow, what a nice. What a nice. Compared to your night last night, right? Well, my night last night was- That'll bum me out a little bit. A little bit, a little bit. But I got together with the neighbors. Wish the older dude.

And by the way, and didn't stick around for until midnight. Oh no, that's not even up for debate. What? No. I was going to watch the new squid games, but then fell asleep. I have no desire to see it. I'm over it. They took too long to come out with it.

What are the reviews good? I saw one bad one. Chris says it's decent. He said, after you score you through the first three and get used to it. Dude, I, you know, me, I don't do shit. I'm always hard to get out of the house. So one of my closest friend on the baseball team, Patch, his son and T are best friends, right?

So he goes, hey, I'm gonna have the kids over at five o'clock. So my guy T, I love that, T and Bossy love going over there. I'll go there at five. They live six minutes away. Go there at five. No one's there. I'm like, all right, whatever the kids are gonna play. I go, what time's everybody get here? He goes, around six. I'm gonna fire up the grill. I'm like, all right, whatever the kids are going to play. I go, what time's everybody get here?

It was around six. I'm going to fire up the grill. I'm like, that's a lot of steak, bro. It was a, it was a baseball dad frat party. A lot of people at your place. No, I would never, no, no, no, no, no. No, you went to, okay. His house, dude, it was a baseball parent frat house 40 people

It's a lot. It's a lot drinks food. It's expensive. They're there to eight. We're there to eight only too late Oh, yeah, you know I get tired. So we're there today to have to pull the kids out great time great great time I didn't see any ball drop. I was Hard asleep by nine. That's nine. I was out by nine. I was out by nine. It's actually good for you to go to sleep at nine and wake up at five. Because you're going to bed with the sun

and you're rising with the sun. Yeah, I feel great. That's how I felt. Did you, any? Because you don't drink. When you don't drink, you sleep so much better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, stop all that.

But any, obviously we're not doing New Year's resolution, we talked about this on Monday, but if you're gonna make one, if you had to make one, I still leave the same thing too, because all of a sudden I'm like, oh, we don't do that shit. All bullshit side.

But if you're gonna do what, don't be gay about it. Don't be like, I won't be nicer to people, don't give me the gay shit. It's gonna sound gay, but it would be to, and Chin always reminds me of this, to look at what you have, not what you don't have, and be grateful for the massive amount that you have.

It's tough for you. It's tough, man, but you have to do that. It's tough for anybody, but I think you have a legit reason. Yeah, but there's a lot of good. There's a lot of good. Yeah, and he just reminded me of that before this fucking show. You could have had P. Diddy's year. Oh my God.

You want to talk about a rough year? You have P. Diddy's year. Oh my God. You want to talk about a rough year? You know, P. Diddy's year. Yeah, yeah. He's, yeah. It's game over. Game over, bad guy. Yeah, bad guy. 20, 20 foot caught up with him.

You know what I'm saying though. It's a whole perspective. Yes. Well, you could also have a year when one of your kids is sick or something. Oh, dude. There's so much shit. Well, that's what me and Joanne were talking about

last night, like this time last year, we were in the hospital with Billy. I remember that very well. That There's the first time my life Little fat ass thriving Again to survive driving a little too much. Yeah, you know too much. Ah, she everything ah Refusing to watch is lazy. Yeah, just rolls on rolls. They got giant hippo I can't when I tell you my kids are exactly like me, it's basically fruit a terrians they'll eat fruit.

They're not big people. Most of the little fruit bats, little fruit bats. Yeah. That's bossy. Fruit bat, little fruit bats. Uh, plenty of plenty of, they just do better with carbs and sugar. And they like, they just like, I feed them well. Can you, you have anything you may, you have a single one for you.

Maybe drink less. Do you like that one? Obviously, yeah, but we said this few months ago and kind of never stuck, you know It's January. My yeah, I have been cutting down a bit not a lot But here's the here's the problem. We go I'm gonna drink less if you don't it It's that you're not really gonna get there. Right, cause what's last? You're like, alright, instead of six shots, I'm gonna have five. Well, you'll start, you'll get yourself,

you're probably three in when we start the podcast. You're two and a half, maybe two and a half. You start drinking today already? Alright, well, maybe not today. Yeah, it's like coffee for you. Do you drink coffee? So, that's another thing I cut off, is coffee. So, I'll do coffee as a treat on the weekends.

Got it. But now I do tea. Now switch. Now switch. I was going to say. Now switch. I was going to say, a little alcohol. Yeah, but I'm a taper.

I'm a taper. Give him some time. Yeah, I'm a taper. Let him have five, six shots before we do the podcast. Let him have a couple after that. January. We have no hard liquor here, so I just had beer. Yeah, we don't have any more hard liquor here.

I drank it all. Really? Yeah, tight move. It's January 1. Now any more hard liquor here. I drank it all really. Yeah tight move It's January 1. Now it's time to start. I hate that stuff, too Like that's why I want to drink on January 1st like screw that whole like oh We're just stop on January 1st. No, just taper down it. Take your time. Do your thing. Yeah Yeah, sounds like it's not gonna happen Yeah, that's like you might think it's a good now I got a I got a real thing for cigars I love cigars, but I say it for when we do Rogan because it's like a special time.

So I just say it for that. I'm not gonna smoke in the house. No. It's on the walls, your fingers and shit. Oh man, it gets in your mouth. That taste in your mouth is a tough one. It smells like a turd. I love a good cigar. And you wake up in the morning though, it's you, your tongue is just leather. Oh, my wife was like, your breath is three dimensional. Yeah. Yeah. Breath is three.

It's three dimensional. Yeah. She was like, holy shit. I was like, ah, come on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess yours is being grateful.

Huh? Can we take a little break, dude? Take a little break. This is the first time I'm not wearing too classic. I'm kidding. I'm wearing the underwear classic. I'm kidding. I'm wearing the underwear underneath. Oh, you stinker.

Yeah. You little stinker. I'm never not wearing it. And I know you guys look at this podcast. I'm wearing their boxes right now. I'd show you, but I don't want us to get banned. Banned. But people look at me and they always go, the one thing I always hear constantly when

I'm walking down the street is, who dresses you? Yes. Who's your stylist? Who's your stylist? And how much do you pay? They go, do you have the same stylist as Brad Pitt? And you go, no, I have True Classic. I say, I do three, six, and nine packs at True Classic. I bundle and I save.

Yeah, dude. When it comes to my t-shirts, hoodies, jeans. Joggers. Everything. All I work out in. Oh, how about that? True necks. Everything.

You know the tees. We're the original dudes pushing them. I like my tits. We're the original house. I like showing my tits and shoulders off. Yeah. I like keeping my tummy a little loose because I don't like holding my stomach in all the time.

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Dope. Just being positive, man. Just be more positive, Brian. There's always something to be negative about in life. Well, yeah, if you're watching CNN and Fox News and shit, yeah, man, Ukraine all this shit Israel's gonna bum you out man The wall start with social media, oh my god stay off that there, you know, that's that's a really good point Let me just say a couple things about social media You know, that's, that's a really good point. Let me just say a couple of things about social media.

Everybody falls into these things where you can get some information. AI is going to disrupt everything. You, cause you'll hear somebody talk about it. You'll hear a clip on a podcast or, you know, you should be cold plunging. Right? All these things that all of us do, you should be taking creatine. There's a lot of info. There's so much information that you can take.

I know, but you know what I'm saying? It's like, that's a fat, they'll be good. Well, it's not get your information on social media. Some of it's good, but you got to be careful what you listen to. But then social media is a constant algorithm of, all right, what's going to get traction? What's going to get traction? So if just steak and potatoes and get your soul, they can't just say that. No, like that's been done.

So they got content, I come up, new shit to keep you entertained. It's exhausting. I just see these workouts. I'm just like. But my dad asked me, the one thing I noticed, he's not on his phone looking at social media. I don't think he has social media, but he plays some word game all the time,

but he's on it a lot. He plays it all the time. And so does my step-mom. They're on it a lot. So are my parents. It's fucking, they're on it a lot of my parents it's fucking they're addicted that's how the new york times makes their money of course so he's at the house with the kids i might ask him i went you want to be honest i said when you're here i wish everybody to leave their phones at the front door but that's such a that's 100 true because

you're missing everything that's an addiction your phone addiction. Well, that's why I told my dad, I said, think about it. You're one of the most disciplined people I know. I have other super disciplined people in my life. And whenever we stop doing work, they go to social media. Yeah. Or there's just a phone in general. Like, my dad's on social media, but he's on his phone playing that game.

I don't think there's anything good about it. And I mean anything. I know there's some good information. I'm actually writing that my whole special is about being addicted to your phone and social media. Like this is what I'm talking about because I don't think there's anything good about it. I really don't.

I think it's an addiction like anything else. Will you get some information? Sure. You get some inspirational shit? Sure. But it's easy information and you get so much. Nothing really sticks. Because you're getting so much

and unless you really have a background in it, you're just repeating false narratives that you heard from some other dumbass who got it from somebody else. But nobody has a legit background. Well, I think that, I actually think all of us, whether we admit it or not, we know it or not, all of us are looking for something like

more wisdom, more truth. Like all of us want to be orientated toward the right way of just being and moving in more understanding of what's actually important, right? Getting to know yourself, you know, like who are you? What is the why of your existence, right? All that philosophical stuff. I think everyone wants knowledge and they want to be able to talk about it and be... I was going to say social media gives you a lot of knowledge, a lot of information. I don't think it gets you closer to wisdom or truth. I think it just is a lot of information. It's a lot of information. And there's so much information, you're not retaining it.

No. Maybe a little bit of it, but you have no context. Well, so like you just said, so I say to you, hey dude, I'm doing cryo, I'm cold plunging, I'm doing kettlebells, I want to get bigger. It's like, you could be like, that's cool, but if you did X, Y, and Z, which we've been doing for 40 years, you'll get just the same result.

Right now you're doing a lot of this, there's a lot of shit in the, there's a lot of noise, bro. It's a lot of bro science. You know, some guy said if you want to change your body, he's been working out his whole life. He said if you want to change your body, he said do bench, deadlift, and squat,

and that'll change your body more than anything else. I don't know if I told you that. I don't know if I told you that. Yeah. People ask go, what do you do? Like, it's not sexy. I don't talk about it. I do bench, deadlift and pull ups every single day. And I run two miles in the morning. Every day. You do it every day. Yeah. No rest. Yeah. Five days a week. I take Saturday, Sunday off. I eat right. How much do you do? How much do you do that?

Of the deadlift of the benchlift of the bench? Of the. Bench. I always, I'll do like my warmup sets and then I'll end with 315 and I'll get between eight and 10 and then I burn out on 225. So on a squat, I mean, I'm sorry, a straight bar or a. On bench. Yeah. Straight bar. How many sets though?

Does it matter? Does a straight bar matter or does. For bench. Yeah. You better be doing a straight bar. Really? Yeah, unless you're sucking cock. Really? Yeah, what do you, bench? Smith press?

I just thought maybe- No, you can't drive Tesla and do Smith press. What about dumbbells? You can't use dumbbells. Dumbbells? I'll do incline dumbbell. Okay, but you like a straight bar. Straight bar for bench.

Because you American, you American, you man. Yeah, American football, yeah, football man. American football. But I'll do, I'll always get up, cause I don't have a spotter, so I could probably go heavier, but I don't. I do 315 and I'll finish that with heavy and I'll get as many I can on that.

I take that off and I do 225 as many times I can after the set and I'll always get between 20 and 28. So you burn out every day on your chest. Every day, dude. I'm stronger than ever. And healthier than ever. I run two miles. And you run two miles and you and I start running two miles. That's how I warm up Okay, you warm up. Yeah, and then you'll walk I'll walk for like five ten stretch as I'm walking

I run to and then you and then you deadlift. Yep It's straight down from there and that's a straight bar. Not a hex bar straight bar only And how much will you do there mmm I'll get up to 400 two sets of ten I usually don't go heavy in tanks I don't fuck my back yeah and your hips yeah I'm good all these guys these orthopedic surgeons are like people who do this heavy deadlift like they're doing 600 700 pounds they all have to have hip I've done that and it was exactly when I did that 600 that time a few summers ago that really fucked my yeah I remember so I don't do squat cuz I don't get hurt right right but dead lift. Hi son. Hi. What's up girl?

Happy New Year guys. Happy New Year. What's going on? Breaking news they said some New Year's resolutions Brian's is to be more grateful and that's so negative Okay, Chins is to maybe stop drinking, but he's gonna tailor off. No, he's tailoring off on coffee. And he's replacing it with tea. Tapering on coffee and drinks. Yeah. I think the only way to do it is go cold turkey.

No. That's what I did. I didn't even know you drank a lot of coffee. No, I just do one a day, but then caffeine's not good for me, I don't think. What? For me. Hey guys, caffeine's not good for him. My heart rate is not good. My

heart rate is so high. So remember I was supposed to get an epidural. Yeah. They literally put the IV in me and everything, but they're like, your heart rate is too high. We can't do it. So I'm like, well, you know, alcohol causes. No, that's why I'm here. What's your heart rate right now? 130, no, 127. Right now? Yeah. That's the resting resting heart is 127. Oh my God. My blood pressure is good, but my heart rate is like, that's resting. Resting heart is 127. Oh my God. My blood pressure is good, but my heart rate's like high. So right now your heart rate is 127. That's like the lowest it's gotten is 111.

25 psi, daddy. 111. So it should be between 60 and a hundred, I think. But mine's like 111 at the lowest, but it goes up to like 137 too. Wow. So it's bad. I didn't know what your resting heart rate is. I have a monitor.

No, those are easier to do. Yeah. You can do it if you're on an elliptical. What did the doctors say about that? They just asked me about my, they said, do I let a lot of processed foods? I'm like, no, I'm pretty good with my diet. You're very clean. It's all I know.

It's alcohol without a doubt. Yeah. You should come back on coffee. But don't that does also like caffeine does increase your heart rate. Not really. Coffee is actually like one of the healthiest drinks you can drink. Oh my does also like caffeine does increase your heart rate. Not really. Coffee is actually like one of the healthiest drinks you can drink. Oh my God. But it does increase your heart rate.

That's fine if it's not like alcohol though, but like one cup of coffee is not going to spike you. You also take kratom and all that stuff. I completely understand that. Right. You take. So they, they did some studies and the kratom does apparently cause some sort of like increased heart rate.

It's an narcotic. Yeah. So I don't, I don't tell anyone to do kratom, just do your research. But you'll do your kratom and alcohol. How dare you both? No, I'm curious. Hey, you know what? You figured it out.

Are you doing testosterone too? I've been off of it for like almost a year. Okay, and what else is running through your system? You have kratom. What else you got in there? First of all, I appreciate you being honest. I'm always honest. Kratom, alcohol, seaweed. You have kratom. What else you got? First of all, I appreciate you being honest. I'm always honest. Yeah. Kratom, alcohol, um, seaweed. Definitely a lot of seaweed. Constantly see what every day that's pretty healthy. And I usually low carb, you know,

high protein, sometimes high fat. Never see that. I don't see chenille fat. Your body or alcohol and kratom. Yeah. I'll say alcohol and kratom. And do you take? Alcohol's the main. But alcohol's the worst, but kratom is more natural. It's actually natural. It's narcotic, but yeah. No. It's a narcotic. It affects the same receptors, opioid receptors, yeah.

Yeah, it's a narcotic. We're not gonna go into this again, but. It accepts the same receptors as opioids do. No, no, it's mimicking or similar, but it's not the same ones. I have a friend who's an ex addict, then he would use that when he couldn't get meth. Yeah, how's he doing now? Not great.

What, is he still doing meth? Yeah, of course he is. So he's only on Kratom? No, then he moved on to other things. Yeah, okay, am I doing meth? Am I doing meth? Yeah, exactly. Your friend's a bad example,

but you just gotta stop doing alcohol. No, alcohol for sure. That's his whole, the whole. It's, yeah, exactly. Never friends a bad example, but you just got to stop doing alcohol. No, alcohol for sure. That's his whole, the whole. It's my culture, bro. Now are you going to do it, just stop doing hard alcohol? It's not, you're creating too much. And it's all good, since we're all being honest and it's fine, you're just a quiet alcoholic and that's.

He's a high function alcoholic. Yeah, you're a high function alcoholic. The highest, probably. Yeah, you can handle your alcohol like I've never seen I've seen you drink when we were in that Alaska trip You drank the entire trip and you were totally sober. Yeah, I had a girlfriend like that She could just drink and be totally sober, but she was also drunk You know the only time I saw you drunk juice when we're in Nashville. Remember that with jelly

That's the only time I've ever been gone is with jelly. That's the time I've seen it. That time and also in his tour bus. But you feel good when you're drinking a lot, right? You feel like amazing? No, it just feels chill. I feel like it's not chill. Yeah.

I hate being blackout drunk. The only time I've seen you white girl wasted was in Nashville. Because you can't not be wasted with jelly. Sure. Yeah, well, anyway, we all do our thing. And I'm just grateful that you're alive. Because you can't not be wasted with jelly. Sure. Yeah. Well, anyway, we all do our thing and I'm just grateful that you're alive. And see, I'm practicing my gratefulness.

Thank you. I'm grateful that Chin is alive. Yeah. Appreciate that Brian. And. Kick another day. Yeah. And I'm grateful for your fluffy laces.

Oh, thanks man. Those are adorable. Who makes those shoes? They're probably not cheap. Boy, the beak. No, they're fair pricing. Yeah. Very artistic.

Good. Good, good, good. Yeah, man. We've established a lot today already. Donny is going to be tired as well. Because was there a lot of fireworks in your guys' hood? There's fireworks all night. Oh, yeah.

Who's launching fireworks at like 3 AM? I know. Even at Woodland Hills, it was a ton dude. Yeah, they're everywhere. Yeah. Wait, hold on. What are your guys' vices right now? Now that you guys are-

My vice? Your vices, yeah. So you quit drinking- Well, nicotine. Nicotine for sure. That's it? Peptides, TRT. That's not vices though.

Uh. Well. My vice is rage? No, right. No, what do you take? My vice is deep-seated hatred. No. The only thing I mean, I guess, Kathleen, I only drink one cup of coffee, but then I take...

Excuse me? I drink one cup of coffee. So you used to drink a ton. No, not anymore. Okay. And thanks to fucking... Magic mind. Magic mind.

I take one magic mind, I drink one cup of coffee, but then I take my pre-workout, which I can see fucking Jesus after I take that. Oh, I take one magic mine. I drink one cup of coffee, but then I take my pre-workout Which I can see fucking Jesus after I take that. Really? Really? Really? Yeah, I don't have a vice-bob. I don't really, I drink coffee. I have two cups of coffee You never drink a lot. You don't. No, I'm not a drinker. You don't do nicotine. I mean nicotine's probably mine too. I like nicotine. I like the rush I get from a cigar, but I'm, it's not because I'm disciplined, I'm delicate. I can't drink, I can't smoke. But you've never been that way. You don't have an addictive personality.

No. No. Good to know. I remember. What do you do? Do you do anything? I mean, I think we just said it was like soda. I have a big problem with that.

Yeah, it's not. I mean, it's not great. Like when I tell you like, how much water you guys drink in a week like you know Like I don't drink water. I don't drink any water ever. Yeah, but so it counts for those cuz that's what I say There's water and so you're taking my logic. You're taking my logic But but diet yeah diet coke's not gonna put just six feet under like chins I mean, I guess they're the do days or something

People out there who brag on me all the time for that like you. Like you don't drink water, you don't drink water. Yeah, no drugs or nothing? No. Nothing. No. No little, nothing. No. Weed?

No. You won't smoke weed at all, no weed pens, nothing? Vaping, a little vape in there? Cigarettes and alcohol. Oh, I can't stand the vape pens. But nicotine is not bad for you. You would know this. Depends on the delivery system, but yeah, no.

The way I do it is not. The pouches and stuff like that. The pouches aren't, yeah. It's addictive though. Like if I tried to stop it, I'd be shaking the corner. Well, it's funny you say that because the only time I- I ran out one day and I had fog brain so bad. Brain fog.

Yeah, I genuinely enjoy a cigar, because I like that feeling of kind of, you know, a kick. So, but I like to make a team pouches too. Yeah, but you're not doing it. Like you're not about that life. No, I'm sensitive. And you still drink once in a while, right Brian? Not really.

You said you just had some wine. I don't even drink wine anymore. Oh my, I could have sworn you said the last. You drink wine with our good friend God. I could have sworn you said the last. You drink wine with our good friend Alexander Vujicic. I love his wine. The machine. I love.

LA Laker. I had Alexander wine last night. You talked the fucking thing. Thank you. But I had a glass, but if it's a really good wine like that, I'll drink it. But overall, it's gotta be a wine like that. The library edition, the Alexander

Library Edition 2013, some of the best wine I've ever had. I mean, look, we've all taken an edible here and there and, you know, whatever, smoked a little joint or whatever. But yeah, I don't do it like enough to where it'd be a problem. I just, I think it comes down to how much do you like being sober? For me, you know what I really love? I love being totally sober, completely well slept, one cup of coffee, and then I'm writing jokes. Like, I'm, if I'm, I don't know, I'm working on this, you know, I got the hour, I'm shooting the hour, January 11th, mothership, get your tickets.

And the, I'm carving it up right now. I'm trying to do, you know, it's got gotta be perfect. So that's when I feel the best. What'd you do last night for, you're probably the only one that did anything last night. I did. I went to the. I went to House of Rager. I went to the Ducks game.

We played the Devils and we won. What do you mean we? We. Oh, me and three of my friends, we went to the Ducks game and we won. That was awesome. We sat like on the glass. So it was great.

And, uh, just. Sure. At their goalie the entire time to the point where he literally turned around and said, shut the F up. So that was great. Damn. He did. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. I know how to get under their skin real bad. I would hate going to a game with you. You'd hate it. You would hate going to a game with me. Yeah. It wouldn't be fun for you. And cause you were going bad on the goalie.

Yeah, and then like, you know, the rest of the Ducks team, cause I worked with them so much, they like all know me, so they'll see me and be like, oh shit, Sinaz is here, like she's gonna just rip into the sky the whole time. You rip into the Ducks or you rip into the-

No, the Jersey Devils. Then what'd you do after? After that we went back to my best friend Mike's house and we just hung around there and played Uno. As odd as that sounds. You saw the countdown? We did see the countdown, then we saw it in New York and in LA.

What I thought was kind of weird though was the Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen one. Whitney crushed it. So I missed Whitney. Crushed it. So funny. Was she? She did so well. Yeah, Whitney crushed it. I didn't. So I missed Whitney. Crushed it. So funny. Was she? She did so well. Yeah, she crushed it.

I just saw it just now. It was great. How did we, she go to it? The only thing is we probably won't be able to play it, huh? Oh yeah. I'm not sure. I can chop it. Brutally savages down.

Wanna watch it real quick? Holding up a body. Sure. It's short. In 24 and chat with Andy Cohen. She crushes them. Bigger and bigger venues now. I thought being a mom would mean that less people want to come see me. I'm not playing, you know, like 3000 seat. That's awesome. foreign chat with him. She crushes him. Are we still rolling? Am I off? Go for it. It was amazing that the pro-choice party didn't give their voters one when it came to the presidential candidate.

Kamala was forced on us so hard you'd think she was patented by Pfizer. Or Moderna, whichever one sticks. Oh God. Oh God. She goes, Oh God. Cause Anderson was like, Oh hell no. She crushed it. She did great. Yeah. I mean, I told you that. CNN, has anybody taken more of a beating than CNN? And does anybody deserve more of one?

As they should. God. They deserve so much more beating. As they should. All of them. MSNBC. Andy looked trashed by the end of the night. And then at one point I turned around and there's a dude on there without a shirt on.

Yeah, that's what they do. And he's like, this is my trainer. It's a very, it's a very gay kind of... Yeah, yeah, it's the gayest. Oh, yeah. But then they had Diplo on and he's on LSD. Yeah, that was one of my current events. He's like, right now?

You're like, all right, well, this is just, what's going on here? CNN can't be like, I guess this is good for us. It used to get high ratings, but I don't know what it's doing now. That was actually one of the current events I had for you is Diplo, and I have the clip here saying, yeah, I'm literally high on LSD.

And you're saying this on CNN in front of everyone. He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't. I mean he's made his bag. He's a DJ. You expect that. That's hilarious. I'm pretending I know who Diplo is.

I watched this one and then I watched ABC's. I don't watch any of them. ABC, I should have had Twain come out. Not good. Oh, she's still pretty though I heard her or her or boy jelly roll is taking some heat. Have you seen that chin? No, what happened? He's saying Somebody's cover again. It was just a clip on my newsfeed on Apple Said country music star taking heat for his oh, he's saying a Toby Keith song. I literally couldn't think of a less

Needed to be talked shit on person than Jelly Roll. Yeah, he's the best. Yeah, the absolute best. What's wrong with it? Nothing. It sounds great. He's great. People are just hating for no reason. That's unpopular opinion.

Jello Rose is not that great. Get the hell out of here. Should have been a cowboy. Should have learned to roll up and run. I was blind. Should have been a cowboy. I was a little late. Did we already discuss how different Brian's outfit is today?

Oh, compared to his sweats? I mean, compared to most of them. Black jeans. You got boots, black jeans, black sweater. Jeans. Black sweater. Black sweater. Black sweater.

Black sweater. Black sweater. Black sweater. Black sweater. Black sweater. Black sweater. Black sweater. how different Brian's outfit is today? Mm-mm. Oh, compared to his sweats? I mean, compared to most of it. Black jeans. You got your boots, your black jeans, black sweater. Jeans are tight though, Danny. Got it going on? Can you lift your leg up a little?

So I want to say something about the tight jeans. I thought they looked nice, but if you asked me was they tight? Tight sweats, you mean? The tight sweats. They looked good on your figure because you have the figure for it. But were they a little tight?

Muscular. Yes, but that's okay. They weren't showing, you know, what I like to call like dick cleavage. So like you're fine. I like them to show. No. Gotta let it out, you know, kind of. Breathe.

You know what I mean? Let it breathe. Just kind of show you what I'm bumping. If I dated a dude, I would never let them out of the house in gray sweatpants. Is that my bump? Yeah, you wouldn't? No.

Because you can see their dong. Gray sweatpants? Every girl knows what gray sweatpants mean. He also has a little respect for himself. Gray sweatpants meaning you can see the outline of your dong, in other words? Any sweatpants, right? Gray highlights.

Because that just does. Gray highlights. Give it up all colors You guys don't give it up. All right. What do you got Jen? We're bright. Can you just lift your feet up real quick? So the audience can see your shoes These are my blonde stones and then to the side You brought those for a hot second. Yeah, they're so great. I wear them all the time. They've lasted forever. Yeah, it looks like it They're so great. I wear them all the time.

They've lasted forever. Yeah, it looks like it. These are my. Well guys, this man has set the masturbation world record at an unbelievable nine hours and 58 minutes. God, he's a weirdo. So he's just jacked off once for nine hours and 58 seconds? I believe that.

Or did he bust a ton of nuts for the world record. He contributes it to his amazing imagination That's what he says. Yeah, but I don't get it. So he just he's just going as slow as he can for nine hours But is the record how many nuts he busted? You can't bust a nut though, right? I tell the very it's no Yeah You can't bust a nut though, right? Until the very end? No, yeah. It said he brought an arsenal of masturbating aids to the competition as per Digital Spy, and he managed to keep going for a staggering nine hours and 58 minutes, and he held the previous record of nine hours and 33 minutes.

Previous. Yeah. So, uh. So, well, I guess- He washed his hands and penis before starting and revealed his long lasting secret was his abundant imagination. My abundant imagination was a key to my triumph. Firstly.

Secondly. I train a lot in Japan from the time I won my first prize last year. I slammed twice a week and gained about 5 kg in muscle weight. That helped me a lot too in terms of stamina. Thirdly. The variety of sensations each Tenga gave me was ideal for long masturbation. Without the variety of sensations, my D would feel

the same sensation for a long time. I used as many as 10 different ones so that my D avoid being paralyzed. I hate my culture sometimes. I lose all my energy. This isn't our culture. That's Jen's culture. This isn't our team.

That's Japanese, bro. It's just American. I just lose my energy from This isn't our culture. That's Jin's culture. That's not our team. That's Japanese, bro. He's just American. I just lose my energy from- Did he do this in America? No, he trained in Japan. Yeah. That's Japanese culture.

I guess it's impressive he stayed hard for 10 hours. I can't be healthy. Yeah, and then it says that he's actually not the only one. I bet he used joy mode. He wants to thank his family. Good segue right there. Thank you. Great segue. He wants to thank his family. Good segue right there. Great family. Yeah, I guess. He wants to thank his family. He used, if you guys want to learn how to keep your dick game going, go to tryjoymode.com and put in slash fighter slash fighter for 20% off your first purchase. Yeah, because it's got all these, it's got all these compounds in it that provide good

blood. And you guys can try and set the world record with that. Try it. And it's all natural backed by science. Yep. I don't know if you can last 10 hours. Well, maybe, but I'm telling you right now. At what point does the chafing begin?

You need a lot of lube. Lube. Yeah. I don't want to talk about this. I'm so bored. Get this off of me. Okay. Yeah. This guy has noube. Yeah. I don't want to talk about this. I'm so bored. Get this off of me. Okay. Yeah.

This guy has no talent. Okay. I got this one for you. Paige Van Zandt, she's announced that she's going to return to MMA. In the UFC? I don't think so. It said 12 gauge made her name in the UFC

after being snapped by MMA's promoter 2014. It looks like she hasn't said MMA yet. I mean, UFC yet, but she's coming back. It looks, and then an article goes on to believe that she's- Oh no, she signed with the GFL. Yeah, but she's crawling back to the UFC. That's what the article gets into. Why would you say-

Article's just looking for it. That's not good. Why would you, what do you think B about, why do you think she's doing that? She doesn't need the money, right? No, she just enjoys fighting. Like she did bare knuckle. She did slap fight.

A 30 in that way, depending on the female stuff, yeah. And she admitted, like she's like, I never left MMA because I wasn't passionate about it. You know, I wasn't allowed to do it. So. It's a, it's a tough go. Yeah. I mean, it's tough going with the GFL, you know.

Do you think that intrigues Dana though? No. No. In fact, it makes her more distant. Oh, you think so? They don't like damaged goods. Oh. Especially in a startup. And especially with

most of the names on that list are on the antitrust lawsuit. So definitely not happening. Hmm. Hmm. Okay. What else you got, Jim? How about this?

Well, this is a two-parter. So Ryan Garcia, he says he has to have hand surgery. That's why he can't fight for a while. But then also at Ryzen, which happened yesterday, this referee got punched twice. Oh, I saw that. On accident? On accident. Well, I mean, these guys are going out.

Yeah, so he was punched on accident, but these guys are going after each other because they did like a spinning backfist, which is illegal or you can't do it in Ryzen. No in Ryzen. Because they have boxing gloves on. So you can see there he did a spinning backfist tries to stop it. He does it again? No, no the Japanese do it for payback. Boom, he tries to do it.

They didn't stop it but then the ref comes in here. So the ref got punched right there. The referee got hit. Again. God damn. He ate that right hand. That ref got a chin on him. Yep. Securities coming in.

Yeah, so he got punched twice. Yeah, it looked like a good fight. What'd you say? That ref got fucking clocked right in the chin with that right hook. Right there. Yeah, bad. Big dude, too.

Now the both break. Boom. That one was in bad this one's bad right here yeah I'm almost elbow bad shot yeah so that rough is pretty good they get disqualified I have the fight was resumed after short break and pose a word is you know shut out you know it's decision on post sounds like the Japanese dude right where you since watched a lot of the Rotolo competition, Jiu-Jitsu. That shit is just crazy. Like that's a whole different thing. Yeah.

That Darce joke that they find a way to get into it. It's just unbelievable. What else you got, Jen? We got another one for you here. Uh, about a Tesla. Brian, get ready. So oddly enough, the Tesla Cybertruck blew up into a flame of glory in front of the Trump Hotel in Las Vegas.

Damn. That's not a great look for our new That's rather dangerous too. I'll tell you what, one Government of Efficiency. I'll tell you what, one for a Tesla.. I'll tell you what, one for Tesla. So that guy, I think it was in California, he was in a Tesla, drove off the side of the cliff

and just said the car, the self-driving car, drove off the cliff and blamed him on Tesla. Turns out they looked in his emails and texts, he was trying to kill him and his family, but because it was a Tesla, they all survived. So he's going to prison. Yeah So that's really weird. Why would that cyber truck blow up? And so they said they're doing an investigation right now into what happened and that it originally started on fire But then it blew up and it was right in front of the dude. Yeah, I suspect

Did you know you can't fit a baby seat in tesla's? I I do it. No, two guys can't have a baby seat in Teslas? I do it. No, two guys can't have a baby. Wait. Oh my God. Yes you can. Oh, shut up. Right, Brendan?

Are you serious? You are so serious. You are so serious. No, I've done it. I can do it. I can do it. I was like, I've done it. Two gay dudes can't have a baby, baby.

Wait a minute. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie after eight years. I didn't, I said like what the fuck. After eight years, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have finally decided. Oh my God, what are they gonna do? You know. I don't know, raise their kids who keep changing their names.

You know? Well. All these celebrity babies go trans, man. That's the new push. Oh god. I think, who is it? Oh, Megan Fox, like three, two out of three are trans? I think that's a rumor. No, no, no, no, no.

Please tell me it's a rumor. Please tell me it's a rumor. I mean, come on. What's this? They, oh, go ahead. I feel like you guys have seen this by now, right? I haven't seen it. This was so bad.

No, this is new. So this is a man was critically hurt Tuesday after police say someone pushed him in front of a train in New York. This has been going on. So I'll show you this right now. This is insane. So watch this footage.

23-year-old did it. So showing a victim described by police as 45 years old standing on the platform when a man in a blue hooded jacket comes in from the left side of the screen with no apparent warning he pushes the man just as the oh my god so the craziest thing about this though push him so hard and right when the train was going to run over him did he go under it so he did go under it and i was like thinking he has at least his legs chopped off or something like that right, but he's in critical condition

But he's alive after this shit like it's insane And this is the guy who did it son. Uh, everyone's a little health No, you kill that guy you put him down like it attempted murder because he's still alive critical condition You can't I mean like remember we talked about this for the train, dude, they have to have some sort of guard rail that. Yeah. It's been going on in New York City since the subway systems happened. And I've always, I always.

It's not often though, but it does happen. I always make sure somebody's not behind me. This happens a lot. Really? Oh yeah. Why would some random person just push you? Because you got a big city. Because people are crazy. With lots of crazy people that they're off on.

Yeah, there's a ton of crazy people. Especially on the subway. The 70s, the 80s, and the 90s happen all the time. He's a bad guy. He's a terrible person. Yeah, dude. How about in a fucking, uh, in new Orleans? I have a guy that ran over a killed 10, Islamic terrorist. Yeah. He had ISIS flag on the back of his truck and they took, they covered his flag. Why do they do that? Why do they don't want Islamophobia? And it's like, well, and you know, he came to the state two, two days ago. He did. No, illegally. That's crazy. The border. Huh? You mean Biden didn't, uh, you mean when you can't even blame Biden at this point, he's not even right. He's been on,

you know, he's been on vacation this whole time. Yeah, he's out of it. He's out of it. He was showing signs of major dementia in night 2020 and nobody in the media and his own people didn't talk to us. This uh, federal officials, the suspect who drove into new Orleans crowd is believed to be dead. And they're still investigating if it is a terrorist thing, but I mean, it seems like it would be. Well, even the governor came out or the mayor came out was like, this was a terrorist attack hour later.

So we got in her, his air. He was like, Oh, it was a terrorist attack and they covered the ISIS flag. What the fuck, man? It was some flag. They don't know if it was ISIS. He was like, Oh, it was in a terrorist attack and they covered the ISIS flag. What the fuck, man? It was some flag. They don't know if it was ISIS. It was some flag. No, just a black one with Eric Redding.

So whatever that means. It's either way, it's a Islamic terrorist. Well, it was enough to scare people off. Cause now the Allstate sugar bowl just got rescheduled. No, it didn't. Yeah. No, it's still going on.

This morning. It told me it's still going on. It definitely is saying will not be played Wednesday night. When did you, that's right now? That's right now. Because this morning on ESPN, it said it's continued to. 11, 23 a.m. Wow.

Wow. Wow, they win. Yeah. They win. That's right. That's right. The terrorists win. Isn't that dumb?

Yeah, I agree with you. I 100% agree with you. This is exactly why they're doing it, to cause win. Yep. They win. That's right. That's right. The terrorists win. Isn't that dumb? Yeah, I agree with you. I 100% agree with you. This is exactly why they're doing it. This is what. To cause chaos. Yep. And then to cause chaos in the world and fear.

Yeah. So now, okay, because now maybe they're thinking, well, is there something, because there was bombs in his car that didn't go off. So they're thinking, is there something we missed? We don't want to risk it. They win. Part of it's also that the mayor and them, they have a meeting and the police chief says, I can't guarantee this.

I can't, I'm not, I don't have the manpower. I don't have. Yeah. Or he was like, we thought we were safe on Bourbon street. You know, there's threats all the time. If we're not safe here, the sugar balls sure as fuck ain't safe. It's just, all right, we can't do it. They win.

Which would have been a great game. Cause it's Notre Dame versus Georgia. Notre Dame is 12 and one. Yeah. It's the game. And Georgia has a, and's so in the world is favored, but they have a backup quarterback playing who's not great. Yeah, you can you can Disrupt the world with a couple of bad. Yeah, they win but them Delaine I do why they did but that's what they want They win, you know Jordan Peterson was talking about how there are a few men in society.

Oh, so it's postponed to Thursday. Oh, good. A few men in society. What is that gonna do, by the way? One day? Well, more security, they can go around the area now, because again, they thought, you know how busy Bourbon Street is on New Year's?

Yeah. Of course they had security, they realized there's a chink in the armor, so they're not coming to the ground. So fucked up, because Bourbon street's great on New Year's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I've been there. So it's like, now they're like, man, we got to double check the sugar ball because something happens here and this guy had the devices to blow up and hurt more people, what's going to happen at the sugar ball. That's right. But like there's that, there's that thing where there are a few men, sociopaths or whatever who wreak havoc on a society, right, and they're always there, monsters.

That's why you need good men who are just as strong and understand violence to stop, to police those men. Yeah, you need that shit. So it's like. Well, that Sean, what's the name Sean? What's the main guy? Huge podcast. Hannity?

Sean Ryan. Sean Ryan had a guy on and he goes, he goes, the thing that Americans aren't used to that we're used to in the Middle East, he goes, so what they'll do is they'll have a suicide bomber, right? Yeah. Blows everybody up. Then all our medics and we come to save them, but then they always have a second person now. That blows up the safe. And he goes, then Americans, they can't comprehend how brutal these people are and how evil in the distance they're willing to go. He goes,

because Americans, like this guy, I don't know if you've seen the cop, shout out to the cops in New Orleans. When he runs into people, dude, they fucking sprint towards his ass and take him out. Yep. Well, now they're calculating, because that's how Americans, that's how we spawn. So now they're calculating, okay, you're going to blow this up. And then when we're going to wait, and then when all the good people, the good Samaritans come into trying to blow it up again, they're going to blow it up again. That's what they would do. Like that's what Americans are prepared for that second way.

And they would also send, they would also send people with blasts to an area where they would blow it up again. They were doing that in rock lot. It's so brutal. So brutal. Yeah. Yeah, but go ahead and open the borders. Let more of those people in do it. Quick question.

You mentioned the whole, you know, warfare thing blowing up and stuff. Do you know how to, this is random, but I just thought of the tourniquet. Do you put it above the wound or below the wound? I know Brian probably knows this, but what do you think? So if you have a gunshot on your leg. You put it above the wound. Damn it, Brian. I figured that was common.

Yeah, so you can tie it. Above all day, especially the blood flow. Because you want to stop it. And you can actually, you're good for nine to 12 hours that way, you could save your life. A tourniquet will stop you from bleeding. It's tight, I've had a tourniquet tied on me. Yeah, they're super tight.

Where they showed me how tight it was, it hurts. Yeah. But you have to do it like that. Yeah, so it is above the room. But some people would think below because, you know, you're just trying to, I don't know. Carrying a tourniquet's really, actually, a lot of guys carry tourniquets.

My brother's buying me a tourniquet. He's like, you need them? I'm like, what? Dude, it'll save your life if you get, you know, in combat, they always say that you gotta have a tourniquet, but. All right. Any more are you good?

Um, I just had a weird random one that I was listening to last night when I'm watching the, the ball drop guys. So, you know, all those people in New York they get there they they're standing out in the cold whatever apparently there is a very strict like if you leave your spot policy. Yeah they wear diapers. Yeah they wear diapers. Yeah. Wait a minute. Yeah. Grown folks wear diapers and they get there like a day early so they don't get out of line they wear diapers and shit and piss their pants. What would it take for anyone in this room to be that excited

about something to say, I'm going to strap a diaper on. If I can meet someone like Jesus Christ or the Buddha. Oh, I wouldn't do it for them. I'd be like, all right. You're saying no to JC even. Not a chance. 10 mil though. I'd do it for 10 mil. Just shit your pants? Yeah, 10 mil. But standing out in that cold. 10 mil? Oh yeah, I'll do it. But not to just to watch a ball drop.

10 mil, of course. To watch a ball drop's insane. So there's no event that you'd be that like. There's not a entertainer alive. I'd wait over two hours in line for it. If I was doing my special. Two hours in line for you. Wouldn't if I was doing my special two hours in line, nobody. But I mean, it's good special.

Yeah. I'll come in the back. Right. What the hell's that smell guys? Oh, Brendan. Like, sorry. I've been here all night. I saw, so when I went to get like standby

tickets to Saturday night live, like two, three years ago, it used to be, you show up at 7 PM and you have to stay till 7 AM outside of 30 Rock in the cold, dying. And if you got out of line, people would be like, she got out of line, you can't let them back in. Few of the people in that line had diapers on and the rest of us were sporting them. What would you wait in line for all night for?

Saturday Night Live standby tickets. Holy shit, I'd rather die. Yeah, it was nine degrees at one point. And I thought I was going to die. I just don't have it in me. Oh, I'm a Saturday night live fan, though. Even when me and my wife go with the kids somewhere and we're like there to eat that food,

if there's a long line, I'm like not happening. You pull the trigger? Yeah, I'll be like, we'll go eat somewhere else. There's nothing worse. Yeah, dude, I'm like not happening. I won't I won't pull the trigger. Yeah, but like we'll greet somewhere else There's nothing worse. Yeah, dude. The diaper thing is weird. I heard I know a lot of surgeons do it during long surgeries Yeah, so that makes almost a little more So this is not new it's a Mid last year, but this story is like insane to me. So this 85 year old woman she has a house in Idaho and then someone came in to intrude to you know rob her. He tied her or handcuffed her to a chair and then this woman happens

to be a gun owner like a gun shop owner and a gun owner obviously and she trained like the Olympic shooting team before. She's 85 years old. So this guy's like rummaging through. She was in the chair, scooted her way to the bedroom to get a gun that's under her pillow, came back and this intruder like, you know, was in the kitchen and then she just started shooting. He started shooting at her. Apparently she was shot as much as seven times and one in the abdomen too.

Damn, she shot seven times. And in the abdomen too. Damn, she was shot seven times? Seven times and then the guy, she shot him twice, he died on the kitchen. Yeah, because she has a great fucking shot. She's amazing, but imagine being handcuffed. So her son who lives with her, he has disabilities, he's an older dude, whatever. So he didn't find her until like 10 in the morning,

but this happened at 2 a.m. So she was there. Did she die too? She survived. Wow, she didn't bleed out until like 10 in the morning. I think 10 in the morning, but this happened at 2 a.m. So she was there. She survived. Wow. She didn't bleed out. No, which is insane. What a little bad ass. Super bad ass.

And dude, when you hear the nine one one call, it's so frustrating. The nine one operator is like, where were you shot? They're so, oh my, some of them, some of them are so annoying. Yeah. But she's a bad ass. Have you seen that one with the nine one one operator? She goes, hi, I'd like to order a pizza Oh that's that's it. No, that's code and she goes are you oh is he in the house right now?

She goes yeah, and she goes you can't talk. No, it says is has he hurt you she was like, yeah Yeah with pepperoni and within the what do you hear? No one goes so you want with pepperoni? Yeah pepperoni and what's the address hear 911 goes, so you want pepperoni? Yeah, pepperoni. And what's the address? Oh yeah, it's da da da da da da. Oh, I'm so smart. And then she gets out, she goes, there's a, there's a, you know, he's armed. So the dumbass criminal was like, I'm starving. Ordered pizza.

It was her, I guess it was her boyfriend. It's usually the boyfriend of the husband. Who had come back and was beating her up and then he got hungry. Ordered a pizza. Ordered a pizza, bitch. Yeah. She's like, okay, 9-1-1.

You got extra sauce, right? Sure did. But now those dicks are going to know that that's the sign now. Now they won't. They're so stupid. They were. I hope so. I hope they're that stupid.

Yeah. The smart people don't beat their wives. He told her, he said, order me a pizza. As he's whipping her ass. It's really wild though, man. I was like, oh, listen I was haunting but scary as shit Did they get him? Yeah another time a girl who was abducted had her phone still in the backseat of the car So she called 9-1-1 and threw the phone and she was like, why are you turning on Warner? Where are we going?

Why are we why are we turning on Warner? Why are we passing Costco? What are we doing? And the 9-1-1 operator could hear the direction she was giving. That's smart. And then they went and got him. Yeah, dude. That dog farted. He keeps farting. Cause we gave him these lamb things in his food,

where it used to be veal and now he's firing up a storm. He's cute, but that ain't cool. That's all right. You know, it's right. Our faces we're doing podcast. Just quietly. Is that it? It's thanks.

So dude, 2025, another year, bud. Shoot my special guys. This is going to be a big year for you, but I think so pal You're kicking off with a mother shit. I got a special. Yep. Got the special Friday Saturday Sunday Jan 10 11 12 this weekend prepping it at the Desert Ridge improv in Phoenix Thursday Friday Saturday You go to JT's wings my faveave. Maybe I will, maybe I will. Come get some, come get some.

You know those wings, Shin? You've had them. Yeah, they're amazing, yeah. They're the best. All right, kids, that's it. We love you guys. Happy New Year. Like, subscribe, do all the thing.

2025 coming hot for TFATK. We love you guys. Thanks for everything. This, the fire and kid, we're out.