The Fighter & The Kid - Ep. 747: Oldschool
Episode Date: November 18, 2021The guys share cop stories, Brendan's security staircase idea, comedy club riders, whiskey's, the gang's Thanksgiving plans, ageless Jared Leto, Bryan's son starting fires, Brenda...n's look back at releasing his first special, Kanye West and Drake squashing their beef, YouTube removing dislikes and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Better help.
Oh my god.
You're great.
This old school episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
Online therapy being your best self feels good, Brian.
For your loved ones and for yourself, bro,
visit betterhelp.com slash fighter
and get back to being you.
It's the holiday, dude.
I don't know why people wait to January
first to get the thick ass in shape.
Well, listen, you gotta understand
that being in shape is a lifestyle,
but it's
not just about exercise. It's also about what you put in your body. Sometimes you need
a little help to get optimized. I don't trust that there's something to come to these. I'll
say it. Well, why? Because they are, they've been in the business and the founders themselves
lived on those supplements, took those stuff. You've seen Aubrey Marker's body, you've seen
Joe Rogan's body. In my dreams. To brain. You want you want alpha brain is these are
Tropics or new total gut health dude. I swear by it the freaking shroom tech immune system
I need it right now. No, you see this little cough. I got I'm on that shroom tag baby real oil
Beak me keto stuff moot and sleep stuff for you gut health is so important you and health is no joke
Dude, they got great coffee there. Protein powders, protein bars, protein bites,
fat batters, elk bars, warrior bars.
You name it.
We got fitness for you.
I'm Harold, cattle bells.
They got all kinds of different workout programs,
home fitness programs, streaming fitness for you.
Thickass, audit.com.
Sashfighter.
Tim Prasov, the entire goddamn website.
audit.com.sashfighter.
Tim Prasov, everything we just told you about i'm being a Seattle about three minutes outside
every theater every watch and out in twenty minutes outside Seattle yeah man it's where
well i don't need one night once only in a theater every theater got it november twenty seven
to indenia florida oh my god dude yeah the four lotterdale sure about there bringing the new
years December thirty through January 1st,
with your thick friend here, Dania Florida.
Four Lottardale, basically,
with a four Lottardale improv was,
you know where I'm gonna be this weekend?
Guys, you ask, you're gonna be in Florida.
Or land of Florida, buddy.
And if you're tired of Disneyland and Mickey Mouse,
if you wanna laugh your ass off,
Brian Callan improv, November 19th and 20th.
Four shows only Friday Saturday.
I got book of its own Florida Laughing Speed Comedy Festival December 3rd,
Kansas City, Missouri, improv December 17th, 19th.
Then for New Year's, I'm in Oklahoma City at Breakdown Club.
Great club buddy.
Yep, great club buddy.
Tickets at T-Fat KZ.
F-A-T-K-Z.
F-A-T-K.
Thick boy, it's Thick Friday.
This Friday, this Friday,
the Jersey Sea, your man rocking now,
and the built workout gear,
All Drops Friday, nine am Pacific Thick Boy.com.
We're good, right now.
Yeah, we're good, kid.
You got a little tiger thick on through your veins.
I just hit the veins.
I just came from the doctor,
old doctor, old doctor,
old doctor, what procedure you're getting done now?
Just, no, they're looking at the veins.
You're getting your tits done? I'm getting the baby, bro. Not at all. Nah, I got some nice tits What procedure you're getting done now? Just, no, they're looking at the baby. You're getting your tits done.
I'm getting the baby, bro.
I got some nice tits on.
Get your neck done.
I'm pretty happy with my body right now.
Are you?
Yeah, I went for a long walk, did some pull up some dips.
A long walk?
Yeah, and when you know you're getting older.
You know you get older if you refer to a walk as a workout.
Well, I know.
Did you get your 10,000 steps?
I know I'm getting older because the old feet
don't cooperate.
I get, other herding. Yeah, bro, when I get, when I'm sitting down, the old feet don't cooperate. I get other hurting. Yeah, bro
When I get when I'm sitting down those going gooseers aren't gonna be nice to your feet now
They're not real. No, no, it is. Yeah, that's why I stop wearing my so so when I'm driving
There's two real flat shoes. I'll fuck your feet out of it. It's what it is. Especially when you drive
Okay, so I gotta get those insults because when I'm driving and then I get out of the car especially because if I play test
I'm working out I got I got some problems in my ankle
Yeah, I get those insoles especially for you in like this, especially the shoes you wear. Yeah, those adidas are all super flat bottoms
Yeah, yeah, you get the insoles. So I got a gain souls
You just get a couple of them because then you can just intertwine on the shoes
You know, I gotta do that. I'm doing that right after this because I can't be having my feet my the old feet in the morning too. It's an issue
Oh, Daddy has proud of you. I just get older because what daddy would daddy does lots of exercise
He just a place tennis. Yeah, daddy does some running does some walking runs some hills. Hey, you don't do you don't run
But okay, wait caveat. Hey, also, hold on.
You've ran hills before, okay?
You're not run hills, are you?
No, hold on.
Don't act like you're part of your program.
I do walk in the morning.
That's right.
Okay, so that's okay.
And then there's a dry, there's a, there's a,
there, there is a, there is a hill.
Yeah, there's a hill that I will somehow.
A street, that is a little bit.
That is an incline.
It's got an incline.
I'm going to call that a hill. I feel like that's a hill. Okay, feel like that's fine, and I said nice. I don't say I run hills. Sometimes I'll run
Maybe if you've probably done it before, but it's not like a weekly regimen thing is it I love that
It's not though. I did run the other day to see what my wind was about. Yeah, yeah, but was it your sprint?
I just don't give a fuck about running
Yeah, I've never been a run guy
Dude, I thought I was fuck cuz I'm sprinting forever and that tough mother. Yeah, I'm your sprint. I was alright though
Yeah, you're right. It's the bike and COVID train you train. Yeah, if you keep working out, I mean, you know
I'll tell you what gives you daddy energy if you get me drinking good wine and it's late at night when the body fires you up. That tires me out in Florida in Florida air. I'm telling you right
now I am 25 years old. That beat you. I'm too. I'm not lost. You live near the sea.
Yeah, the sea. I like the sea here, man. There's something about the Florida that that
humid. I agree. I breathe so well in it. Isn't humidity good for older people? That's why
people are going in sun, humidity, you know, it gets in it isn't humidity good for older people that's why people are good and son humidity and you know
It gets my body. It's good for your skin to want to adapt. Yes, my skin's really oily in the South, which I don't enjoy
Yeah, really really yeah, but it doesn't have first my hair gets all curly. Yeah, look like shit
That I was making this joke, but it was true about like Florida. I'm not, when I'm in Naples, first of all,
please understand that they have,
it's all white, they have,
well, no, but I'm talking about the Everglades.
When I, I'm not getting out of my car late at night
to take a piss, I'm just, there's a moat right there.
There's crocodiles, there's snakes everywhere.
And when you say crocodiles, there's not just alligators,
they're the American crocodiles.
It's got some American crocodiles, which are...
America.
They'll eat you.
They'll eat anything.
Yeah, and then you got all kinds of shit.
Here's my thing, have you ever thought,
like you think about it?
Florida, no state taxes,
gorgeous, beautiful weather.
Yes.
But would you ever live there?
Like I think about this all the time.
Like it has beaches.
Okay, when you say, because dope cities,
when you say beautiful weather,
you gotta remember something. In the summer, and I'm talking, when I say, because dope cities, when you say beautiful weather, you gotta remember something.
In the summer,
and when I say summer,
I mean from maybe,
I'm too long to remember.
I play football down there,
my, my, my, my, my, my,
now, it's a little sticky.
It's beyond hot.
I mean, June, July,
this is the thing about Texas too,
people talk about that.
Austin's great.
June, July, and August,
including September in Dallas,
Austin, come talk to me. No, and don't get me wrong. That nobody beats that way, whether, July and August, including September in Dallas, Austin, come talk to me.
And don't get me wrong, that nobody beats LA weather.
Nobody.
Elm Earth.
Nobody.
Nobody.
Weather's great.
Yeah.
Is the weather enough to keep you, so the reason I'm bringing this up, you'll love this.
The reason I'm really going to get my coffee and there's a bunch of cups out front.
Yeah.
I'll take my, I'll take my oats out, fellas, but go blue, whatever you know, super broke
up. And they're all, I can't believe in that this cup ball had rough looking dude. I'll take boy my oats up fellas, but go blue whatever you know super broke up and
They're all I can't believe in the this cop ball had rough looking dude. He's like, uh, you know
They're on break whatever and he's just talking and he goes I can't believe in fall your boy Rogan to
Uh-oh, it was close man. I went to properties. I just I'm an L.A. guy. I'm staying here and he goes
Yeah, so he can get worse here. And I go, oh yeah, dude,
when I left that conversation,
I wanted to sell my house and move today.
Yeah.
He goes with inflation.
He goes, this city's never come back, man.
And he was in crime.
He won't talk about crime.
He goes, I've been on force for 20 years.
And he goes, in my areas, downtown,
and before that was Compton.
He's like, so I've seen, he was crying.
He was there and reporting how bad it is, dude.
And he goes, where do you live?
And I tell him, you know, I'm like, oh, then he goes,
oh, you know, a lady just got shot in the face over there.
I go, get the fuck out.
And he goes, no, it's safe neighborhood.
He goes, but some lady, just, some guy decided
having a bad day, shot her in the face.
And I go, oh, it was like a domestic dispute.
He goes, didn't even know her.
Drill by, just shot her. Turn around and shot her. Just shot her. And he's oh, it's like domestic dyspedias. Didn't even know where, drove by, just shot it.
To shot it.
Just shot it.
And he's like, it's going to get worse.
I was like, well, this is why I got a car on.
And he goes, you carry a gun, right?
And he goes, yeah, he goes, you should.
Here's how I tell everybody, carry a gun.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, I'll say, what?
Now.
And he goes, it's never coming back.
And he goes, this never gonna come back.
It was the inflation.
You know what's gonna happen with inflation?
You can tell you smart dude. He goes in with, and he goes, I'm from come back, it was the inflation. He goes, you know what's going to happen with inflation? You can tell you're smart, dude.
Yeah.
He goes, and he goes, I'm from there, he goes, with inflation,
he goes, well, what's going to happen, Brendan?
And he goes, well, inflation is so bad, he goes,
I beat you by the next one, we're at $10 a gallon of gas,
which for people like, you know, terrible deal,
you're still going to drive, right?
Oh, yeah, he goes, for others, it's a huge deal.
If you're a gardener and you have to drive your truck.
Yeah, so he goes, so he goes, what's going to happen
is with this inflation, and he goes,
which the economy's never going to bounce back from. This guy was super positive. He goes, it's never going to drive your truck. Yeah, so he goes, so he goes, what's gonna happen is with this inflation, and he goes, which the economy's never gonna bounce back from.
Let's get it super positive.
He goes, never gonna bounce back from.
He goes, what's gonna happen is same thing
the classes in India.
There's gonna be the super rich in California,
and there's gonna be no middle ground.
Yeah.
And there's gonna be super poor.
That's great, because that's called civil war.
Well, then he goes, then what's happens?
And he goes, crime?
Well, those people, now they're not only doing crime,
they're doing crime because they need to feed themselves.
Little desperate.
Yangus, and you're gonna stick around for this?
Yeah.
And I go, the only thing that's gonna happen
on all of America is, no, just here.
Yeah.
Yeah, because those guys, I was like,
I went, because-
Well, fellas, I'm gonna go sell my house.
I will see you guys later.
Okay, San Francisco, that book San Francisco,
with those kind of policies, those progressive policies,
you have open-air drug markets everywhere.
You have MS-13 running shit.
Dude, I go out, I don't know how you do it, man.
I was telling about that accident I saw.
I got, you know, I had to talk to a therapist
about I said I couldn't sleep for nights, man.
And he goes, yeah, he used to, he goes like last week,
we're over Skid Row.
Now you just side-cut the other lady's head off.
We pull up and she's holding the head with a knife.
What? I'm like, what? And he goes, oh, that's fine, I go, did you just side-cut the other lady's head off. We pull up and she's holding the head with a knife. What?
I'm like, what?
And he goes, oh, that's fine.
I go, did you sleep me?
Oh, God, no, I'm used to this.
Cause the head off.
Yeah, since he was the another one, it was a tent situation.
And I guess the guy just having a bad day beat the other guy to death.
And literally, we pull up, he smashed the guy's head so bad.
It was like a pumpkin, the brain was everywhere.
And he's eating the brain.
No. Yeah, and I go, well he's crazy.
No.
Yeah, I go, well he's crazy.
I go, and that didn't fuck you up.
Well, this guy, now this guy is dark.
No, all of them were like, you know, but they're, it's just, we're, we're boys.
You're a little bit in the war zone, you know, but we're like, we're all like guys, you
know, so they're like, like, because I was like, how about kind of being like, excuse
me.
And then shared those stories I went while see, see you guys later. I said said the guy even brains. He's clearly he goes. Oh, he's yeah,
clinically insane dude. He shouldn't been on the streets. Should me on the should be on the street. He's
a brain. He was like, that was a Tuesday branded. Yeah. Well now Florida. I so I have two good friends
that are trial lawyers in Florida. They they they they represent their public defenders and
uh, yeah, and I said, uh, because you represent good people a fun job. Yeah, and I said,
because you're better than good people.
Now they're down in Miami and I said,
Dave County, I said, hey, and he goes,
it's just been very tough and I go,
what, he goes, with COVID,
people are going crazy.
I said, hmm, I said, what do you mean?
He goes, a lot of kidnappings.
There's going, there's a lot of kidnapping going on
and a lot of that that happens that ends very badly.
Fuck.
Yeah, and they deal with that shit.
And of course I'm so morbid.
I'm like, tell me more.
Oh yeah, I want the details.
But then you get to get to the details.
You know if your bothers me, I want the details.
Fuck.
But it'll fuck your day up, man.
Yeah, and you know what I do, because I'm a civilian.
I go, but usually they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, crimes and death and I'm like oh okay and they have to defend those people
But don't you think and you don't do me around nobody less cops more than I do but don't you think those cops have a skewed view
Of course, of course they do because they he was living he was like go I lost a word for you many years ago. Yeah
It's like what's his name who survived the world or two and they said
He they said the guy who were where the wild things are and they said book. Yeah, and they said
Are you believe in God and he said no, he just really casually goes? No, the war took care of that for me
Oh, wow, yeah, I want you to see some shit. Yeah, it's it's like no whatever God you believe I took
I'm gonna talk about them pod before when my house got broken a years ago.
And I was yelling at the cops
because I came in late and I'm like,
where the fuck were you guys?
It took you 14 minutes man.
And he goes, you know how big L.A. County is dude?
We don't have enough cops.
He goes, I tell every,
and I talk to the same cops about this today.
He's like, you gotta be able to fight for around eight to 10 minutes.
Your life is online for eight to,
so you gotta be able to fight. So you're ten minutes. Your life is online for about eight to- so you gotta be able to fight.
So you're so these people who live these kushed lifestyles and, you know, don't train or work out like yourself.
He's like, you gotta be able to fight for about eight to ten minutes before we can get there.
He's like, you can't fight, you're fucked.
Well, I also say-
And he's like, and he was in, you know, I went, going, going, recce-ing, as I tell everyone, carry a gun.
Of course.
He's like, you know, if you don't have a concealed weapon license, carry again.
We can't search your car if we don't have a reason to. So you might as well carry one. I have a gun. Of course. He's like, you know, you don't have a concealed weapon license. Carry again.
We can't search your car if we don't have a reason to.
So you might as well carry one.
I have a gun.
I have a fuck gun.
Oh, boy.
But it's true.
Yeah.
I would rather have a gun.
By the way, when you say fight back,
that's what you're talking about.
Because I assume that guy has a gun.
You're coming into my house.
And I'm going to, I'm going to fucking,
I assume you're here to kill me.
Well, I was telling the cop I was like,
yeah, these guys brought my house and I said,
yeah, they had guns here, of course.
Who's gonna break in your house without guns?
He goes, he goes, he goes, let's say three of them
broken, they have guns, you strangle the fuck out of them.
He goes, nobody's bringing your house without guns.
So you should automatically assume every time
they come in there, if they do again, they have guns.
Yes.
As you have guns, do I have it, dude?
And also you want a tactical shotgun with some bird shot and
I'm just say that we want to be ready for that. Here's the problem the AR 15 too loud simply too loud
They're too loud and they will blow out everybody's your drum. So fuck your cops beg to differ
I want a shotgun. I'll get a tactical shot cops that have both cops that have both and a nine million cups that have all of it
Yeah, I have zombie apocalypse. You got to be ready for everything
Yeah, I'm not starring in a food
You know Tim Kennedy is the guy who's got like, you know, it's too far away
I was too far. I'm like five elk that are frozen and free. Yeah, you go and you catch those guys
I don't know the far away though. Yeah, I get don't know. I need to get a fucking Texas man
though yeah I got don't know I need to get a fucking Texas man oh well now Texas has its own problems Texas got water problem water problems and things like that
but I agree that way the pros and cons it's just I love I love California man I'll
stay here I'm gonna I'm gonna go you know die here I'm gonna go now it would have to
get exceptionally bad for me to I mean you like now shitty but I'm an
optimist and I think things, you know,
things of Evan flow.
Me too, I think once Newsom's out,
he's somebody in there knows what the fuck they're doing.
Yeah.
I think once 20, 24 comes around,
things bounce back a little bit.
Well, you just, you know, again, it goes back to,
are the bad ideas gonna win or are the good ideas gonna win?
That's the problem.
So, you know, right now I think a lot of bad ideas are winning.
Do you see what Ireland's doing? And Conor McGregor went hard on the pain at the government there?
No.
They're enforcing curfews and lockdowns.
Because of COVID?
Yeah, because COVID, because they don't have the resources for the vaccines.
And Conor was like, we've done everything and more and listened to you.
And now, because you guys didn't plan for this, you want to give us curfews and
likes down here, because you're asking too much. I agree with that. Because this is a lack of you guys didn't plan for this you want to give us curfew the likes down because you're asking too much.
I agree with you guys not getting it done.
I agree with that and also like how much longer in Los Angeles do I have to wear a mask?
It's two years now.
How much longer do I have to fucking?
Well Fauci keeps pushing the whole bag back.
Yeah now he's wearing a winter storm.
That's his thing right?
Also you know your mom always warned you like wear scarf in the winter? That's Fauci'm going to win your storm. That's this thing, right? Also, you know, your mom always warned you
like, we're scarf in the winter.
That's Fauci.
He's 90, dude.
So of course, he's like, we gotta be a mask forever.
We gotta wear fucking scarves forever.
I know.
It's probably gonna happen for a little while.
You have to do a construction.
A construction stopper.
Oh, yeah.
All right, well, the way it is sometimes.
Ireland, home to one of Europe's highest vaccination rates
and poses curfew on pubs and clubs as cases rise.
They said midnight though, which I have a,
not too bad.
Even if it was 2 a.m., I know, it's still,
it's still a ridiculous.
Yeah, so nuts.
On our tweets, I'll tell you that,
I'll tell you that Europe's highest,
they're 90% of people reach 12.
That's insane to, it's a vaccination.
I'll tell you, I'll tell you the doors I want on my fucking house.
I want to fortress and I found the doors.
I found the doors I'm looking for from my house.
I've been looking.
Where do you find them?
Do me a favor.
Doors aren't issues, the windows.
Go, go to the doors of the Supreme Court for a second.
I got it.
Oh, see, that's stupid.
No, I got a couple of them.
That's not happened.
This the windows, dude. Now, take a look at those doors. I got a big wooden door., that's stupid. No, I got a couple of them. It's not happening. It's the windows, dude.
Now, take a look at those doors.
I got a little bit of them.
Big wooden doors?
Yeah, and I got a, I got a, they're actually bronze,
but I got a question for you.
Yeah, are you gonna, are you gonna pay half a million
dollars to half those installed?
That is not, that is not, and then also,
they're gonna smoke you out, dude.
They are gonna smoke you out.
They're gonna smoke you out,
and then you go way about the windows,
because that's where they come from.
You're right.
But what do you think one of those doors?
There's one of them, not two of them,
but one of them, what would you say?
When pounds, what would you say?
1,500 pounds.
1,500.
Wait, it's bronze?
Solid bronze?
I think it's a brass brass.
You're sure it's a brass brass.
2,000 pounds of doors.
2,000 pounds of doors.
That's heavy.
Yeah, that's it.
I know how to say it.
Now here's the thing.
Yeah.
Just the whole those doors in place on the wood of your house in Manhattan, where the
bike rat.
You need some, well, because those doors are not 2,000 pounds.
That they weigh.
Are they 5,000 pounds?
What's that?
Are they 5,000?
Good.
If they're more than 5,000. So each door, each store weighs 26,000. What's that? Are they 5,000? Good. If they're more than 5,000.
So each store weighs 26,000 pounds.
Oh, well, that's not happening for you.
Each store weighs 26,000 pounds.
That's 13 tons.
Isn't that crazy?
And this is, you just want to prevent.
You just want to be strong hinges.
You just want to prevent people from kicking in your door.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
So maybe.
And then you can put jail like prison bars on the windows. Because you want to give me fun as your house. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. So maybe. And then you can put jail, like prison bars on the windows.
Because you want to give me fun is your house.
I can't get out there, right?
People like put the fuck.
There's a fire, all fun.
And you think that 13 town doors are costs of money?
Yeah, because your girls, you're made
to push out open with the baby.
That's hard.
That's easy.
With the fucking stroller, just open it up.
That's the fucker inside.
Games that match.
Yeah, that's in trouble.
All right, nothing you can do.
I don't know what you do. Yeah, 26,000 pounds. All right, nothing you can do. I don't know what you do.
Yeah, 26,000 pounds.
You want to hear a weird idea I have
because you've been in my house like three stories.
Yeah, this is not your biggest idea,
but if I was like, if you were like rich rich,
hold on, let me get that thinking out.
So stupid.
Wearing, so so, this is for safety.
It's for if someone are breaking the house.
Are you gonna say you want a hot air balloon?
No, that would be cheaper than what my idea.
Okay, my idea is retractable stairs.
So they can't get up stairs.
So the stair goes, and rolls in, like they're steel,
they look like.
And the granite can't get up there.
And then we just have our guns.
Yeah, the problem is if there's an electric short
and you're on the stairs, and you can just get,
mangled up and, well that's, I mean, yeah.
But a good idea.
Yeah.
Like as soon as like you know entry level
one the
yeah like if I'm Elon Musk and how you gonna get up there what are you gonna do dude I'm up here you're
down there out cops are called we're just chilling up here you guys can't get up it I was in
shares old house and I went into her panic room she had a panic run room. Those are cool. In Malibu. I have one of those. Damn.
Does that happen?
No.
Hey, you have one?
Yeah.
I like a panic room.
Where if I'm not home, my girl, see that's one time
that they go into the wall.
Yeah, it's cool.
Now unless the guy does like parkour or some shit,
he's not gonna be able to jump along and like get up there.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
You have to hear them downstairs.
But that's pretty good.
A lot of them.
You can't get in my house without them.
A window, a door, nothing can come in without me knowing.
Is that automated thing that tells you what?
Oh yeah, everywhere.
Everywhere.
Tells me exactly where I've videocam is all over the fucking place.
Yeah.
You gotta have that stuff.
Yeah.
But they're like, good idea.
Retractable stage.
You can't get up there.
But to your point, if there's a shortage,
and it's like, we're just stuck up there for the day
and just get it.
Let's get it balloon!
To somebody comes.
Well, no, then you'd have a ladder.
At the back, I could toss like a rope ladder
and we'd walk down.
Or have a generator.
Yeah, but even cheaper, it'd be just a wooden ladder
where you could throw it down the side.
We're gonna add, we're gonna add it.
That one's actually pretty cool,
but they can see the climate.
So it folds this way, folds back out and in.
I like that.
But they could still try to climb it.
Oh, they're gonna get up that.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I'm talking.
As they're climbing up, I pour hot oil on their face.
Oh, like medieval time.
I always have oil on them.
No, I'm gonna tar them.
I throw the tar over them feathers and rocks,
big stones, like Game of Thrones. It's so bad so bad just get some I'm not worried about stay all of oil super hot olive oil and just go
Burn the skin go you look a little your skin looks a little
That's practical stairs and I get idea it's a good idea, but hot oils are real motherfucker
I could do all that once you're in I... I have all kinds of plans for this.
First of all, I think about what I would do
if I had to fight like a gang that was overtaking
out of my town, cartel.
I was in Utah and this guy had this tiny 22
with a pistol, with a skull, a little 22.
And he was shooting that gun
and you couldn't hear it sure so you could just be hidden
something to do oh dude hey daddy hey daddy I'll tell you right now yeah if you have a 22 and you
want to stop me I'm raping you no no if you hit me with that 22 on our 20s ain't stopping shit
it'll stop you no let me tell you tell you why, you know I know that?
I guess if you shot me right in the eye.
No, no, no.
So, so with 22 they bounce around the old body.
Now, the Masad, if you read, if you read,
that was about when Munich, in Munich when the Palestinians
killed all those Israeli soldiers, the Israelis went,
okay, well we're gonna get you all.
We're gonna find out who finance that
operation and they they had 22 pistols and they put half a charge in it so it didn't even have
as much gunpowder and they would shoot a center mass and they killed everybody with those guns so
Christian you're a gun guy on 22's I'm a grizzly bagged.
It does depend on where you get hit.
If you get hit in the stomach, the arm,
no, it won't bring you down.
It'll hurt like a motherfucker.
It'll hurt like, pay not to do it.
It won't kill you.
It won't kill you.
If you get hit in the throat, the head,
then you hurt the heart.
I mean, it'd take more than one in heart.
It'll go through a sternum.
It'd take more than one to go into the heart.
He's a big boy. He's thick. But the bullet will go through his sternum, sir. I don't know.
22. Yeah, but it will get slowed down. Like once it goes in, it's going to slow down and
not go any deeper. You have to have to empty him. I mean, again, I. So one of the things
about it, my brain is it bounced around the brain. Yeah, if you get him in the head, then
yeah, he's done. The head to throw the Harvey Os nightmare. If you get him in the head, then yeah, he's done. The throat, the head, the throat, the heart, the olive oil.
If I get you in the face, you're not doing anything.
You're gonna be like, you're not shooting me in the face.
Hey dude, that, that, that, that, look at that.
Gaki, if I'm this close, you're so far.
What are you doing?
For right here?
This is it.
So you come at me?
But, hey, but my thing is, why 22?
Why not seven, nine million?
I don't like noise.
In the house.
You're scared to wake up the girl?
Yeah.
At least some of my concerns wake up the kids.
So all you hear is this,
fit fit fit fit fit fit.
It's that Bible lead joke where you get stabbed.
It's it's it's it.
That's what it is.
It's it's it's it.
And you're like, you don't even know it's going on.
You're like, huh?
House cops just fucked and messed up me out.
They just stressed me out.
Can I get a one there? Yeah
But then you know that I looked it up crimes down 2% from last year. Yes, I mean they said they're you know
They're like they're not reporting a lot of them like no, I know but crime found 2%
Stats are stats I like the stats dude. I'm tired of sleeping on straw. I'm tired of sleeping on, I sleep on straw wood. I sleep on bamboo.
I do, dude, but I need a mattress.
I spend a lot of time sleeping,
and I need a mattress I can rely on.
You know, Helix mattress, dude.
Heel likes.
Listen, they have the mattress just for your skinny little body.
If you're a thin boy like mine,
Helix sleep has a quiz that takes just two minutes to complete.
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with the perfect mattress that's built for you
So they have several different mattress models. This is what you're saying
You name it they got it for you. They got soft medium and firm mattresses because I like a firm mattress
Sure, dude. What about a mattress for cooling me down, dude?
What's the pot? I see pot. Well have resleep dude
You sleep on you want a soft medium firm bed sleep on your back side you be farting we got you cover
Spinal alignment whatever whatever they want.
Whatever it is, do Helix is fantastic.
Helix was awarded the number one best
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She go to helixleap.com slash fighter,
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You're one for a hundred nights, you can try that for a hundred nights free daddy. That's right
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But you will he like even has financing options available flexible payment plans. So great night sleep is never far away
Give some money off would you dude? He looks after you guys up $200 off all mattress orders for the tea fat K army
Can I get some free pillows for the TV?V-S? Let me give you some pillows.
And your listers go to helixleap.com slash fighter.
Couple of two free pillows.
Can I ask you a question, bro?
Your legs, they look hard.
No, they're popping.
They look long, they look popping.
Listen, dude, daddy needed a light color jeans
to go with this jersey, so I pulled these out.
Well, I thought to myself,
they look like couple squirrels wrestling under a mattress.
No, your thing, is it, was your quad?
Transl-downport, is it raining?
Uh-huh.
Because it's drippy in here.
It's a little drippy in there.
Little drippy in there.
I had to talk about my quad.
These quads are brought to you by Peloton.
Is that right?
Yep.
I work at at home on my Peloton bike when I'm not in the road.
I'm at home in my garage.
And my name on there's Stickboy Press, okay?
I'm on there.
But I like a customized workout as well, I'm trying to say.
Do they get it all, man, whatever you want?
Listen, Peloton makes fitness, entertaining, and fun.
If the best instructors, my favorite instructors, Robin,
all right, they have great music, whatever you like,
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Can I get cycling, strength, yoga, I want bar,
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Dude, whatever you want, if you're a newbie or a pro,
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Peloton, when you're workout is a joy.
It's a joy to workout.
Don't workout alone, ride with coworkers and friends.
It's like, my friend who, who, who.
Also, they have a skewed view.
It's like when you talk, they'll fight about the UFC.
They know how the sausage is made,
but everything's over.
Really, everything's heightened.
Well, it's also like vaccines, I'll do respect,
but people who are very worried about the vaccine
having effects on you, if you look at the metadata
of the billion plus vaccines that have been taken,
yes, there are cases where people don't do well
with the vaccine.
The vast majority of people who get the vaccine
including the booster, they're okay.
They're not dead, they're not dying.
We were fine.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not the end of the world.
I get it.
I mean, there's that Olympic gold medalist
who got it, not just the severe heart condition.
They're probably, it's the Olympic gold medalist.
You get that, what's it called?
The inflammation of the heart.
I forget the real name by saying inflammation of the heart, okay?
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, it's the complicated.
All right, yeah.
That's fucking dicey.
It is dicey.
It's all dicey.
It's a stretch.
That everything's dicey.
You never just wait.
You don't wake up every single morning since the pandemic
and look at other property.
Yeah.
I do every, I look at real estate every single morning, every morning.
And the reason you look at race. every single morning every more and and the reason you look at
In California and then Nashville and in
The reason to do that is because you know in your heart. You're still not gonna leave
It would take like they would have to push like some weird agenda my son's school
You know like those weird agendas like for some wear address some shit. Yeah
They'd have to force back things on. Oh yeah, they would have to it
have to be so heightened like I don't know like they'd have to burn down thick
boy or something like that where I'm out of here. Yeah, you'd have to get so
great like the purge. It would have to do the they would have to turn to the
purge in LA for me to leave. I love it here so much. I know. Now comedy's not the
same here. It's not the same. It's not even close to it.
When you go to other places, you realize holy fuck.
Coming to LA's a nightmare.
I was supposed to do the ha ha tonight
and I was supposed to do the laugh factory,
but I just couldn't because I just couldn't.
You feel a certain way about it, right?
I used to be so excited to drive down Laurel Canyon
and go to the comic store with the laughve yeah, now I'm like fuck that
Yeah, I do the road so much also. It's just like I don't know
I'd like to see Ger and Joe Koy about literally to the biggest comics in the world
I build my act on the road now. Yeah, like we've been doing our boy Jack junior is gonna be at the
The fuck is it in Jersey the wine at theater with Mike Moreno. You know Mike Moreno?
That is it.
Mike's great.
Mike has hilarious and he's gonna,
yeah, I was just talking to him.
Just like I got to do it.
I didn't know he was doing the road like that.
I love that he's doing that.
I didn't even know Jack did a lot of stand-up,
but I guess he does.
Hmm, yeah.
Can we talk about when you tried to bamboozle me
into that?
Cataract, cataract.
Stakehouse.
Cataract performing arts and events.
Hey, hey, cool. Can we talk about when we tried bamboozle me into that cataract state-cow cataract performing arts and events and hey hey cool can we talk about when we
tried bamboozling your boy here to do
the comment the state counts yeah can
we talk about that well I didn't
realize it was so close to levity
life that's an issue but those are
fun gigs I've done his gigs you told me
love the live me instantly it did
those games you know sure you told me
love it you know I've been told me lev to you live me instantly. I did those Yeah, sure you told me love you I told you love a deal live
No, I didn't I really didn't you didn't know me. She pelleted up. No, I knew it wasn't I said love you live in here
You know I have details. I've done I've done some of those shows are fun
I've done his things my promise you live my promise you know I never said
I didn't know I didn't know it was in the street same street
Yeah, yeah, too far away, too close.
Because you're going to be doing that.
Yeah, too competitive.
So they're in March or something like that.
Yeah, too competitive.
Yeah.
I'm supposed to talk to them today about,
was it December 13th or 14th, the Chow House?
You're still going to do it?
I don't think so.
I mean, I got to do it with somebody.
I would imagine. I don't know so. I mean, I gotta do it with somebody. I would imagine.
I don't know.
We'll see.
We'll see.
The six-chow house, Ventura.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, two-close for you.
I told him.
He gets it.
Mm-hmm.
What would I perform though?
In the middle there, while there were even mistakes.
Well, usually what he does is he gets the whole,
he takes the restaurant and it becomes a comedy club.
He did that at the Hong Kong end.
It was actually a great room.
I remember years ago he did that.
Yeah, so much fun.
I did it like three times.
I will say he does put on a good show.
But, well, ever.
Yeah.
All right, well.
What can you do?
Who the fuck matters, buddy?
Yeah, who knows, buddy?
Come on. Let's go. Come on.
Just done that. Just show us. No way. No way. I got to ask questions.
You get it. I got it. What's going on here? How this happened?
You old rope, but dope. Well, that's a problem with corporate gigs. You do corporate gigs.
They're painting a lot, but you can find yourself. You're gonna sell your soul. Very dicey circus.
You sell your soul. Like, oh, that's the stage. And this is what, oh,
And I, and you know what I'm gonna say this that or anything.
Oh, not unlike me if I rent.
Some people are great at whether clean comedy, they fucking crushed it.
Like, gaffkin, I'm sure, crush those things.
Crushes, crushes. Like, like, crazy.
But there's a lot of great comments you guys know you know my
sister-in-law hurt she works for a huge company and every year in Santa Barbara they have these
comics come and they're they were named some of the comics like they did not do well. I'm like yeah
it's not like you got to get a specific type of comic who flourishes in that. It's also they're not
listening it's also the sound sucks there's a thousand. I'm very excited to be there, they're of drinks,
I'm freaking out, and fucking time behind the hotel.
Did I ever tell you with Justin, with CAA,
they were using this old rider,
and I didn't know that, you know, a rider is like,
what the performer requests.
Yeah, and the green rider.
I must have in his dressing room.
Yeah, like Murat Carey's had of only pink starbursts.
Yeah, now my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,
my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,
my rider says nothing, my rider doesn't, I don't have any,
I don't have fucking, he don't want waters or anything.
I just ask for buffalo trees.
They always have something, you know,
but I've never, I don't.
Mine's only whiskey, that's the only demand.
But I hate being too particular.
My writer, for whatever reason,
because it was a leftover writer,
and they had erased it,
but they had left some things in.
Well, my writer, which I didn't know said,
I had to have a standing mirror.
I had to have a place to hang my clothes.
I had to have a tray of sandwiches.
Hell yeah.
And then, and then,
and then I had to have a couch.
I had to have a couch.
Do you lose demands you had back in the day?
No.
No.
There's someone else.
They couldn't find a standing mirror for me at this,
and the guy was freaking out.
I'm so sorry we can't find a standing mirror for me at this and the guy was freaking out going
I'm so sorry. We can't find a
What but we do have a boot war we found a boot war and I said what is that because a place for you to hang your your jackets
I go why would I want that?
That's I was in the writer whether we have and we have the sandwiches I go thank you
What why would I yeah was all my writer I was like I've been the biggest asshole on the planet
Why don't there's some comics that have those crazy riders.
Like there's that one black comic in the riders
is only to speak to other black people.
Well, there's another comic I know has to have a pair of shoes.
Brand new pair of.
Oh, I know that guy, yeah.
But that's, yeah, that's not too bad.
I'll see for who he is.
Don't do that to the club though, it's just some dude.
I'll just have one of your people,
and also all he demands is white Air Force ones.
It was like 80 bucks. It's another type of team fucking order it. Yeah, it's another that's just a bullshit power
That's a yeah, it's like another guy knew as a famous actor had to have a certain kind of tea and they went that your favorite
You know I guess but fuck you. It's like a hard to fuck off. That's why I request Buffalo trace
Fuck it's everywhere. It's 40 30 40 bucks. It's so easy. I don't need it now
That I've tired thick, but you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I get yeah, Buffalo trace. I get you cuz I don't like I don't like like JMO and fucking Jack and
Whatever do you do you not drink Scottish whiskey? Oh drink at all, but it's not my favorite. Yeah, some of
More bourbon I like I like a Japanese herb. I like a caramel. I like some caramel Yeah, I do. Yeah
This has been sitting on my I don't like spicy shit. Yeah, it is
Huh, I don't like spicy like whiskeys. It's this keeps whoever's yeah
What do you guys do for Thanksgiving doing anything?
I'm going to New York. Are you finding New York with the kids? Do you want to see the fam? Yeah?
With the kids. That's always baby mama too. Yeah, she's meaning me. She's coming
up from Philly. She's because her family's in Philly. Yeah. So she's flying to Philly.
You're flying with the kids and X? No, the X is she will not be there, but the X and
I get along very well. She's got her own thing. Oh
Yeah, yeah, that's better for you. Yeah, is he handsome?
My son told me he's tall with green eyes. Oh, I know. I hope he is
Dime me daddy has money. I hope so me too
Yeah, it makes your life so much easier like you want that if you have a baby mommy you want them to find a dime piece, you're gonna take care of them.
Cause then they don't need shit from you.
It's been a tough one.
It's been a nice thing to go.
Yeah, I couldn't talk to you.
Yeah.
Jim, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?
I don't know.
I don't know how to follow that.
Just family.
You're just gonna go home.
You guys, you guys do traditional turkeys and shit?
Yeah, we talked about this before.
We do the same American career.
I was forget. I don't know. Maybe you duck or some shit. Yeah, but talked about this before. We do the same American career. I was forgetting American.
I don't know, so maybe you duck or some shit.
Yeah, but we add like,
We say that every day.
We add Korean stuff in there.
Funny, every time.
It's five and eight years, I think.
It's a little dark.
Yeah.
Are you going home, Kat?
Turkey's a boring.
No, I'm actually staying here.
Originally, the game plan was going to be a Stevie and I
and the dog by herself because my parents were going to go Hawaii but with the COVID restrictions they decided against that. So
they're coming to LA and staying with steve and I for Thanksgiving and I'm gonna
take my brother and my sister to universal the Tuesday of that week because my
brothers ever been. I want to go to Disneyland. I asked I actually asked Joe if
she knew where I could get in because they didn't have any more reservations
and they'll all want to.
Yeah, Disney's nuts.
Yeah, Disney's nuts right now.
Like half capacity.
Yeah, so they're not doing it like fast-passing up,
paid for a premium now.
It's so expensive too, Disneyland.
It's an arm and a leg.
It's like 200 something, a ticket now.
Yeah, you need a grand just to get in.
Oh, for sure.
Parking food, yeah, it's gonna be a grand.
Yeah, at least.
That's how it is, like, because we live in California and just go there whenever, but when I was a kid, it's gonna be a grand. Yeah, at least that's how it is like because we live in Cal for
You just go there whenever but when I was a kid it was like once every four years
It was a big deal. Yeah, I saved up
Tiger grew up Tiger with that area too. You go there three times a week
Lucky with a annual pass. You just drive up this
Him and his mom got the young real young you take him three four times a week
Oh, it's his favorite place tiger is a true LA kid where Disneyland is just your daycare. Yeah, he's like, yeah, Disneyland.
What's wrong with it? Yeah. And a high mountain. Well, same. Me, Bobby, going back home?
I, yeah, I'm going back home next Tuesday. Johnny's there now, right? Because he had the,
what do you have the part premier? The release party for his, you know... He had a season two premiere.
So he went back a week early.
Johnny's killing it, man.
Yeah.
Do you want him at all?
No.
Johnny?
I don't know.
His brother, he's a fucking talented fucking kid, man.
They have his billboard out in Times Square right now.
And he's on the billboard?
A Times Square?
Yeah, if you want to go to his...
Yeah.
Just 1997 when billboards matter, he'll be sick. What's going on? I know, it's so weird. And that weird billboard yeah yeah yeah if you want to go to his business 1997 when billboards matter I'll be sick I know so weird how
you know weird billboards so fucking crazy like for my special they're like do
you want to do billboards like think about somebody who gets a show think about
somebody who gets a fuck look at this fucking kid that's him don't wear that
coat but look at this fuck wow he's a second-lead yeah wow you he's on that
50-cent show and then got his spin on.
That's amazing.
Power book, ghost, that's awesome.
Power book, two ghosts.
Yep.
Wow.
Yeah, he originally started.
Now, why did you put fire twice?
I guess he just commented twice.
I mean, they're different fires too.
I get the brotherly love, man.
I get it.
My brother's from my two.
Help tell him.
And he's a handsome kid, huh?
Yeah. Yeah, timepiece. Yeah, it's gets all the ladies
Yeah, five towns is he in that no, no, he was making the joke like where he's taking the picture above
I'm such a cool. Can I tell you can I tell the the joke you told me about that girl?
We go it
Show you
Dude you don't look go. He's like fucking code dude. I this girl that was looking on with that coat
I eat her ass all night long
I didn't get COVID dude. It's all bullshit
You know, it's like real New York. She's all it's all bullshit. I was eating her ass all night long
I don't have COVID it was next day I go on set fucking negative test bro this
Covage just as fucking contagious. He think cuz I eat her ass all night long
You're gonna say it. I saw my line you're dude. You don't need keep saying it. I saw my
Because I eat a rass all night long. You get to say it.
Eat a rass all night long.
You're a dude.
You don't even keep saying,
eat a rass all night long.
You say,
you're a dude.
Because I didn't get fucking COVID.
Yeah, one night.
All right.
I went, well, dude, you should fucking say that on Twitter.
Yeah.
I would do announce that.
And that's it with your family.
And that's gonna help with eating ass as a new vaccine.
He is also the hate you,
but he can look.
I eat a rass all night long.
Show COVID, dude.
I'm fucking fine.
Some guys have to do this. And he's young know he's young. Yeah, it's good fucking great
And then when I when you say that I all I picture as you like actually eating her ass and she's on her stomach
I'm like I'm not can we not dude look at that fucking billboard on his south
Not that's a big deal. Yeah, cool. And then there's another one on
Johnny's gonna make it cuz a's talent is fuck fuck but I don't know anybody who doesn't like it
Everybody fucks with Johnny. Yeah, everyone likes Johnny
Yeah, he's a he's ran by so she made it how long he's a fucking beast. Yeah, yeah, wow
Yeah, work. I think man. Yeah, he's a hard worker right and this good look stupid talented, too. Yeah, put those two together
That's great man. That's exciting Who are these guys Johnny Paulo be it more Italian
guys oh yeah there you go it's pretty jacked there you go kid oh my
marquee bark shit now is he is he your is he is he same height he's like a two
inches taller we're not we're not a tall family that's all right no big deal
well thanks for the tank top guys. Who's Johnny Paulo?
Otherwise known as Giovanni hot smoke. That's the Johnny. Let's talk about it. This is
Yeah, they were telling us the whole town. Oh, you guys are both wait. Which one is which one is who?
Johnny's right. That's another guy. We don't know on the low. Okay. I was talking about you and the career. Yeah, that's my that's our roommate. All right, Brandon
He's shredded tall. Yeah, he's 64 250. He's a big boy. That's a big kid
Thought it'd be stronger. What do you mean?
Thought it'd be stronger go to go to Instagram. That'd be stronger because they were in their lifting with us
They'd be stronger. He's also he has a lot of injuries here and there.
Sure.
Yeah, he's, first of all though, maybe,
maybe no need for the tank top.
That's the only thing he wears.
Only thing he wears.
We'll go to look, we'll go to Dan Tannis,
he'll wear a stringer there.
No.
Yeah.
He's all about looking good.
Yeah, all right, well, he's coming.
I like the guys that would be strong. Now, all right, well, he's coming. I like the guys, they'd be strong.
Now, why is Johnny on his Instagram nine different comments?
Look at this.
It helps the algorithm.
That's what you gotta do.
Is that you grabbing his leg?
No, I think that's Milo Tan, from Boxenburn.
Ninja Turtles, off it.
Okay, how's Boxenburn doing?
I don't know.
I know COVID hit them hard. They shut down their Brentwood location and and kept to San Monica. Yep. Well that that but that makes sense because that was an
Abbasement that was a tough. Yeah, well no the the sat the the lease on that thing was nuts
Yeah, that's why Brentwood was fine, but then Santa Monica's tough because no parking well no parking
But they're not going to down.
The owner of the building sold the land,
and they're building apartments there, you know that?
Yeah, yeah, because we're going to be around
for another few months.
Yeah, I heard, you know Tony lives up the street for me.
I do not know.
Yeah.
And so where is he?
He has like four kids.
I might like.
That's a Monica location is not around anymore.
No, it's still there, but it's only a matter of time
for it's gone. But they're going to open a location in the valley. Yeah, that's where he was. Great, it's still there, but it's only a matter of time for it's gone.
But they're gonna open a location in the valley.
Yeah, yeah, that's why he was trying.
It's great. I'd go there.
Yeah, I love Tony.
It's great.
Tony Tony's adapted to the COVID because he does all the shit online.
He's business man.
He's business man.
He works at Savage.
It was great.
They were letting us go.
When COVID first hit, he was letting us all go for free.
Like, and work out there.
Oh, Tony had some fucking good. We had COVID first hit, he was letting us all go for free, like, and work out. There's so great.
Oh, me and Tony had some fucking good times.
We had, we all had some good times, man.
I love Tony.
I love that fucking guy.
I miss him.
We had some laughs back in the day.
Well, he's great, man.
Then I knew him before he had kids.
He sort of got me.
Yeah, I tell ya.
I had to convince him to be my head coach.
He's like, mate, I'm too busy.
I'm some of my business.
I'm like, come on dude, you know what's fun lab?
You know how the box? Help me out man.
Yeah. He's like, come, all right,
coming Thursday will figure it out
and then friends ever since yeah.
Then he was so pissed because I was like,
all right, so here's the plan dude.
So I'm going to be here three times a week,
but then twice a week when we spar in Orange County,
I drive with me.
So I pick him about 7 a.m.
in the Prius. We drive down there.
Yep, I remember that. If you could have done it all over again, would you what would you have had?
I wouldn't change anything. No, no, no, so we're on that now. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you
even if even if I had been came champed it would have been a battle. Yeah, even if I would be
trash brown, let's say I fought for a title after that or two fights after that one. I'd be making
less money now.
I would have stuck around and got what?
All the CT?
Yeah, that's right.
That's exactly right.
No, man.
I think God traps brown people.
Yeah.
Thank God the Reebok deal came to play.
That's right.
Yeah, that's right.
You just got to follow, you know, should happen.
You and I linking up, like, thank God, dude.
God, dude.
So interesting. It's so weird. And that all happened because Nate Markwood asked me to come and talk to the tough guys
And I walk and I was a coach there Mark where I was talking to Nate about
Psychology like performance psychology. I know a lot about it because I used to choke all the time and
And I a lot of time still was a little bit nervous in a couple of despite spec in the day
And I was like I'm just seeing I just saw some things and and I thought I would you little bit nervous in a couple of his fights back in the day. And I was like, I'm just seeing,
I just saw some things and I thought I would-
Your prior referendum was Amishin Silva.
I was just qualified.
That's amazing.
That's actually the one where he fought
the large Japanese guy.
It was after O'Connor.
That was a phenomenal fight.
And I just,
I just- The Chale Sona fight after that.
Yeah, he had a run there where mentally
he could tell it wasn't
There's some stuff. Yeah, and I and before that was Anderson
You said you'd never seen him lose around including, you know, and I know yeah
And I know he's to spar with the great GSP to and you said you know, I told you stories about that
Yeah, and I can say him on here, but yeah
Name Mark was as good as anybody ever ever ever ever ever fought
He was a captain routine and I and I was qualified
I felt just to say some things we had a great talk about it
But he had me come in and talk to tough when I was a coach on there. Yeah, and because she's car was there
I was nervous because when I got in there. I was wearing like a blazer
Yeah, you look like a dork. I looked like a dork and I walked in to a lion's den
I mean you guys were all these fucking killers and they were heavy weights big Well Well no they didn't. The Ludwig was there. Well me and Shane were only heavy
weights. Yeah but remember. They all look big you know. I remember Neil Magney came from
that show. Yes he did. Yes he did. He's about to go on and have the most weight or wins
in the World's Weight Division. So Nate goes guys we're really like going to have Brian
Kellen here. He's a really special guy and he's gonna talk to you guys And I was like I can't tell these guys. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna say to these guys about about this
You know, I don't know what I'm gonna say and and and I think I just said it and making you fuckers laugh
I think that's what I did and then you had to show that night and I came to me and shame room to dinner
Yep, and then we and then remember I was like where do you live? You're like Santa Monica's go, dude
I'm moving LA next week. Yeah. Really? You're like, here's
my number. I remember that very well. I remember you showed up in a blazer and fake classes.
Yeah. And I thought that dude can dress well. I was like, Jesus, that guy's fucking
smiles. You look like a giant in fucking like a like a like Jared let us secure. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah. And you were driving an m6 or some shit black m6 and you were like this you go I love
nice things I was like alright alright do that and you know it was like this
guys there we go this guy's a big giant guy yeah thank God all that happened
man I know man I just saw this like yesterday too.
So he was on Jimmy Fallon and he looks younger now
than he did before.
He has to be drinking.
He drinks chocolate.
He drinks baby blood or something.
He's 49 right?
50 or something.
He used to live next door to girl I dated
and I would just see the most gorgeous,
I believe he lives in the morning.
The most gorgeous women in the world leaving
and then he'd be there.
I'll just drive and stare at him. Oh my god, this happening. I know. Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne, Leiborne He's a child. Yeah, oh, I didn't know. Yeah, oh, he's been famous forever. I've seen him in a couple of
He's like interview with the vampire dude. He's like Brad Piverty. He just doesn't hate it. I've seen a couple parties
And you just see him and he's wearing something. He's breathtaking. It's almost like a boa. He's wearing a boa
Anyone else was that you like what the fuck?
Came like oh, shit. He'll be wearing boa and like rubber clogs
Yeah, like one time I saw him the camera Diaz and he was just at
Fucking a camera who's man a lady said he's better looking him or
Elizabeth hurley son
Damien or Jared, but it was early sons like 19. Well both of them both of them had 49 both them get traded for cigarettes and prison very quickly
Oh, yeah, but
He's easy and the character he's a very unique character.
He's a very unique character. He's a very disciplined, he strikes me as a very...
I'm telling you, every morning, when I would leave, there'd be a different dime piece
walking out of the house. And I would just drive by him.
And there should be. And there should be.
Oh my God. I drive by this...
And you would be looking at him, the grower you laugh. I do
Look at him. That's exactly what you and I would be doing. Please don't do that with your tongue
I appreciate it. I fold it. Uh-huh. Fold it. You know J. You know J does that
It's my grandpa's to it and J does it. It's a hereditary thing
Like when J went like
Guys do that. That's weird huh? My friend was used to fucking bully man. What before he's gonna It's a hereditary thing like when Jay went like guys
Yeah, it's weird, huh? My friend was used to fucking bully me and it went before he's gonna punch me. He go
Yeah, I got fucking yeah, yeah, it's weird with the tongue and I always do stuff with my tongue too
You do always always always I've seen you doing I'm you see it on my special. I'm always doing something on my mouth always
When I shut that each of that big each of like
You got a you got a clip sticking to tongue out. I don't know. I'm doing it like you got you got to stop
Yeah, I used to distract I keep my tongue tight and in my tongue is flat and short look
Yes, yes, yeah, this short tongue. I got a very anti-contact like a bird
It's dry. It looks dry all the time. It's white, it's dry.
Yeah, it's bullshit.
Yeah, you get a bullshit tongue, dude.
That means you're dehydrated.
That's a long tongue, Jack.
Big, impressive.
I'm always fucking around with it.
You got a big old fucking tongue.
You got a lot of big shit going on.
Yeah, big dick, big mouth.
Yeah.
I'm not doing that.
Ah!
Ah!
Oh, don't do that. Now, just now, man. No, no, no. It's not doing that. Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh, don't do that.
Now, it just, nah man, nah man, nah man.
It's not doing that.
Nah man.
Ah, nah man.
Nah man.
Fucking disaster.
Sent me a picture of a deer, like in the distance.
I could just get a giant picture of a deer's distance.
And I'm like, ah, cool, nature.
I love deer, you know, in the morning.
It's like the morning.
And then like 10 minutes later,
I just get another picture of a deer,
but this time the deer's closer.
Just a different eye.
You know what I'm planning this time?
Yeah, I'm like, okay, it's a deer again.
Yeah, have a good morning.
Yeah, that's it.
Then another 10 minutes, just a close up of the deer.
It's like, now the deer's face is right.
It's just a close up. It would just see the nose, space is right. It's just close it would just see the nose like that. I go, okay man. I see the deer. Yeah, I do. Good,
you know, have a good morning. Next one him shot. The good morning. And next one is just this
fucking this this grizzly bear that's tearing that deer's head off. It's tearing the
car. Like a real. Yeah, just like a real picture around the same deer. I'm just like you.
You say this what I'll do to you.
I got the fucking threat.
Yeah, of course, it's always the day.
It's always the bear or I'll just get one.
I'll just get a bear.
Dude, what are you gonna get sass on fight companion?
I keep telling.
I keep telling.
I keep telling.
Was he scared?
No, he'll come on.
We gotta get him on.
I love Will.
He goes like, just a minute.
The other day he goes, he goes,
Hey, are you still doing that karate podcast?
Will you guys talk about stuff?
Okay.
I'm like fucking, fuck you dude, he goes,
no, but I mean, you guys are all guys,
you guys are a bunch of guys sitting down talking about things.
I get a text from Delia last night, I just get,
I'm driving, you know, I'm the,
what's dope about the broncos, it pops up
and it shows you the text. So you're not gonna look at your phone, so it pops up and I just get, you know, I'm on the, what's dope about the Broncos, it pops up and it shows you the text.
So you're not gonna look at your phone,
so it pops up and I just get, fuck this Ferrari,
you know, because I'm the one who's got the Ferrari.
He was fucked this Ferrari.
So I kind of take a person, I'm the reason why he has it.
And I go, dude, what's wrong with the Ferrari?
It's always in the fucking shop, I'm selling this thing.
No, dude, don't sell it.
He was not fucking dumb with this thing.
It's always in the shop.
I'm like, all right, dude.
Cause I guess I think what's happening is A the shop. I'm like, all right, dude. Yeah, cuz I guess it I
I think what's happening is
A he doesn't drive enough so electrical like it won't start because he's not driving enough or B
I think he's fucking with the gears because it has the PDK and he you don't know what he's doing
So he's fucking running it hard. They're going up heels and stuff. Why did he get that, why didn't you tell him to get the better Ferrari?
That for what he's looking for, that's a great Ferrari.
The FF, because he can put his kids in the back.
It's great for it.
Yeah, but it don't get Ferrari.
But this what I told him is, it's a great car.
That's the ultimate dad car.
No, it's a beast, dude.
Oh really, I fucking love it.
I don't like, I need a tail bump.
But here's the thing with that car.
So not only for him, it's too much much and he knows this he's gonna listen this
A it came with different HRE rims, which I'd never try out rims on fry
But for those HRE's are dope it came with came with a Nova Tech exhaust system
So probably a baby thousand dollars. It's probably 60,000 because it had her exhaust
So you left before he started it sounds like a fucking banshee.
And for him, it's like, you know, it's his first Ferrari.
It's an insane car.
Jesus.
But the inflation with cars is nuts.
We talk nuts.
I'm in the car business.
I'm getting a car business.
We don't see you in the car business.
I'm looking for a car.
You are what you are.
I'm gonna go with the Tesla.
I'm gonna go with the Tesla.
My girl, my girl is too easy.
It's too easy.
I know, but my girl's looking for a car.
It's everything's going above sticker.
I don't give a fuck what it is.
Everything, like even like a forerunner.
It's like, oh, stupid.
It's stupid.
So I was still in a Christian like,
well now's the time to sell it.
With inflation, with this Ferrari,
like you're gonna make money back.
100%.
I finally convinced my girl.
Look at me for that.
Probably 20 over what he pay for it? Really?
You know what's crazy right now is G-waggens?
What's going on with Mercedes is they don't have the parts to produce the G-waggens because
the manufacturing all that stuff, they don't have the parts.
So you're not getting a G-waggens for the next two years.
The next time a G-waggens time a G wagon comes out to be electric. So the current G wagons, the inflation on is nutzos. I've had a lot of cars. There's
not a car I hate more on this earth than that G wagon. Why? For the price, it's uncomfortable. There's
not a lot of room. We have kids, off 10 miles a gallon. My girl, she's a mom. It's the V8 twin turbo, it's the AMG package.
I'm like, this is, it's an AMG 63.
I'm like, for what you do, this is a piece of shit.
I always talk shit about it.
And...
She loves it.
It's her dream car.
So I told her, I'm like, right now,
in Star Most of Spence car we own.
Think about all the car's own, out of all the cars,
that's the fucking most of the car.
By far, it's a tank, so it's safe for the kids,
which is what I like. But there's no like I'm when we drive like to them all
They would drive down to to century city. I'm so uncomfortable. It's so awesome
This big yeah, and for that. I'm like come on
Yeah, man. I'll take you so finally so far. I told great. Oh nine close now what night and close
So I told Greg I'm like hey get put it on the market
I was like I'm gonna tell my girl plan the market. Let me know I can get for it
So you put something out market sold it without her knowing sold it yesterday sold it and she go I go
This I come home. It's right. I come home. It's I go and I go house to G. Wagon. She is good. Why go? Mm-hmm
That's cool. I go I sold
That's cool. I go I sold it.
I saw it she was what the fuck I calm down calm down I sold it. I got good. I said here's the thing. I yours anymore two years. They're gonna release an electrical when you get that. Yeah, but we sold that car.
She was calling more but it's just business, she understands. I got it something else.
So fine.
We're gonna.
You got some money for it.
So the market's so crazy.
What I paid for it, I got $75,000 over it.
So we made money, you heard driving that car.
That's incredible.
Once I explained that to her how it helps out the family,
she got it.
That's incredible.
But the car market is insane.
It's nuts.
Yeah, I mean, you know.
It's at all because of COVID and there's a shorter
to part.
Yeah, manufactured everything. Yeah. And then also with the, I mean you know all because of covid and there's a shorter to part yeah manufactured everything yeah and then also with the you know the the
exclusivity of that car they can't come to the United States so one of the things that my brother
was talking about is that manufacturing is going to start coming back in the reason in America you say
artificial yes artificial intelligence and robotics are going to make it so we it's it'll be
cheaper to make it here in the United States
There's also a whole bunch of like a movement to keep things back here, but yes
It's like you make it in Vietnam you make it in China. We don't need it anymore because it's not a save
You're saving on labor costs. Okay, but what's happening? You don't need that much labor anymore
So more and more so you're not got to worry about the ships being in dock and all that pollution a lot of stuff is gonna be made back here
Yeah, a lot of stuff you can have all that fucking dude out of all the cars
I've had that I fucking love that Bronco has a big fucking USA flag on it
Great truck great truck take the top off. Wow nothing better. I love that you know all the time
You don't even drive your other cars. I haven't driven driven the portion forever
Fucking love that's easier, huh? It's just it's easier, but it's fun. It's so fun
I'm such a lazy job off the big screen
American made has a big fucking USA you'll see USA flag on it that makes me happy the other day
Didn't you post a photo of two of them? Yeah, do you have two now? No, I flip the other one. Oh, okay, guys. Yeah, I'm
the car business. Me, me, my guy drank a climber have a car business. I'd love to have that
bronca. I wouldn't drive it as much. I just get that. You would love that bronca. I would,
right? Oh, no, but what you did have in question. It was on the story. Yeah. It's still that's
correct. Look at that. I'm doing work. You really is a beautiful car though.
They nailed it.
You know what Ford did?
So in all the forums, everyone's always complained about certain things, and I'll see
though, Retro Broncos are coming back.
Ford actually listened, which car companies don't.
They listened.
When they said, what do people like about Jeeps?
What do they not like?
What do people like about theeps? What do they not like? What do people like about the retro Ford Broncos?
Like what's doing well?
And they built it and based it off that.
And you got the perfect...
I always wondered why they didn't bring the Broncos back up.
I think it's the coolest look.
It's so drunk.
They're so dope.
I mean, like cars, and I was like, I love that car.
I owned one.
I fucking bought a 1973 Bronco worst thing. Now as soon as I saw it, I was like, I love that car. I own one. I fucking bought a 1973 Bronco worst thing worst thing.
Now as soon as I saw, I was like,
I will fucking take that.
They nailed this thing.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Two years later, here we go.
I like the two door that you have.
That's my bad part.
Two door is a lot of work.
It should be a two door.
Four door is a lot of work.
Yeah, the two door.
Now remember, I grew up in a Bronco.
My dad had a Bronco Eddie Bauer, two door.
So me and my brother jumped in the back.
Yeah.
Now did I almost wreck it?
Yeah, I did.
So my dad parked that safe way when I was a kid.
He goes, I'll be right back.
I'm going to remember, we have to take movies back.
So we always wreck movies on Friday.
We have to return by Saturday.
So my dad drove up their parking
like right in front of the store,
when the fire lane.
So I'm running real quick.
Don't touch anything like, say less dude.
He runs in there.
I jumped in the front and jazoned the back. I'm there for this. I was like eight dude
It's one of the best memories I have cuz it didn't end well
So I'm in the front and Jay's like get the fuck back. I'm like shut up
I'm like pretend I'm driving and it was a is a manual. Yeah, but I had the break and I pulled the break and it starts going back
When Jay goes oh, oh shit. Oh shit. He takes off runs in to get my dad
And I'm just doing my go fuck and it's slowly going back into the store behind us the video storage slowly fucking climbing back there
My dad fucking jumped in pulls the break on oh my I was I started crying he yelled at me so fucking that
He's like you gotta get out on body. I fucking told you know how you remember negative things. That was the negative. Well my son
I don't know if I told you my son
My son has discovered fire and I got it fireplaces in my house and my son was in a pyro. This is the new thing
Yeah, it's like I want to start a fire. I want to make a fire. Well, that's cool
Problem is that now he's taking matches. It starts with like I'm just gonna light this mat
That's so cool. I'll throw it in there. I'm gonna...
Get up, get up.
I hear him say, I didn't know what he was saying. I should have fucking paid attention.
But he goes, I'm gonna get the ashes out of the fireplace, you know, clean it out. And I'm
like, what? You guys see a Danny Tommie to clean the ashes? I go, all right. I just hear
that. I'm like, okay. So, I, uh, there'd been a fire burning pretty much,
for the past four hours.
I'm downstairs, my desk's on,
come down, it goes, dead, dead.
No, he's 10, he goes, small problem, small problem.
Right, I know now, right?
A little small problem, and I go, what's that?
He goes, well, so I've been taking the ashes
and cleaning out the fireplace, right?
And I think that maybe some of the ashes are smoking
and I look at him, I go smoking,
where'd you put the ashes?
And he goes, I put them in the paper bag,
but I put it out, he had taken it,
it was like, it was in a paper bag,
well, he took the embers,
he took all the embers, sit the bag in.
And a log that was smoking, put it in the paper bag, and then he took the embers. He took all the embers to set the bag up and a log that was smoking hell
Yeah, put it in the paper bag and then was like oh that looks like fire and took it outside and just put it out on the fucking
On the on the veranda goes nothing to see here. Nothing to see here. Well, here's a problem
It started to catch the side of the house on fire. Yeah, I come out and I have to put it out
Uh-huh. I got to put it out right away
Yeah, and it's in him and I and I but what I did is and I have to put it out. I gotta put it out right away. And it's a good one.
And I, but what I did is I let him fucking have it.
I let him have it.
And I mean, I let him have it like dramatically
because I want him to feel better.
I remember, well, then I, he's downstairs and he sits down.
I can see him trying to that to cry.
He's downstairs in his room, he's crying.
And I come in and of course I can't let him cry.
I go, I go, hey, hey, listen, listen, listen.
I had to do that, because now you understand.
We learned a lesson.
And learning a lesson isn't pleasant sometimes.
I go, we learned a lesson.
But now it's over.
Embers.
Now it's over, but embers are very dangerous.
And we gotta understand that, right?
Sometimes with fire you gotta make
I go weak. What is that serious? Yeah. We could have died. I'd rather him be very uncomfortable
for 20 minutes and never forget that. I haven't met a long time. I know dude. I don't like making
my kids. Never. But I mean, Joe, we, you know, she's fucking Hitler inside the house. She runs
such a fucking tight-shipped dude and I'm not to say like this morning they softy do them soft as it gets like this morning you know he has to wear uniform to school and
it's it's gonna be cold in LA today so his uniform they can only wear one of
two things and it is a shorts or khakis because we can call it out so she
want them in khakis so she picked out his clothes he's like I get hot when
I'm playing I wear shorts so she tears in the room blah blah I'm like do go
your shorts.
He's like, really make you a piece of fuck it.
If you want to wear shorts, wear fucking shorts.
So he always gets shorts and I'm going to say,
I can't believe you've let him wear shorts.
I'm like, you gotta let him fucking decide what he wants to do.
This isn't a dictatorship.
Let him learn that if you were shorts when it's cold,
now he's gonna know to wear pants.
Like let him figure it out.
That's exactly what I do.
Let him figure it out.
You need a jacket? You sure? It's also not a fight. Like let him figure it out. Like there's a reason we told him to where pants. Like let him figure it out. That's exactly what I do. Let him figure it out. You need a jacket?
Sure.
It's also not a fight.
Yeah.
Like let him figure it out.
Like there's a reason we told him to wear pants.
There's only one way he's gonna figure it out.
A hundred percent.
This is the way.
A hundred percent.
You learn most of the time.
But then I also,
As you learn the hard way, let's be honest,
for the most part,
I learn, excuse me,
I learned the hardest way.
The hardest way.
Look, I don't know how else to learn.
I've only learned the hardest way. The hardest way else to learn. I've only learned the hardest way.
The hardest way of all time.
I've only learned life lessons.
Yeah.
Like to like, like, you and I had together
have learned a lot of life lessons.
The hardest, the hardest.
But even in comedy, it's like, remember my special,
like, remember how mad I was at you
when showtime goes, hey, we're gonna be a special.
I came to you, like, don't do it.
And I went, oh, you're just hating on me,
but you don't want me to do this but you know I'm trying to look
out for you dude you're gonna come me for a year and a half. I begged you. Don't do
a special and I go but they're giving me a special you're just a hater. Sure
not like of course I was out. I was just trying to protect you. But you
enroguing like dude don't do it like it doesn't make sense and I go I guess you
guys know what you're talking about you've been doing comedy but 90 years
between two you know you're? I'm gonna do it.
And then now I'm older than headline for seven years.
I'm like, oh my god, they're so right.
That's okay.
And then now I do this next one.
You said to me, you said, you see the great thing about you
is that you said to me, you text me and you go,
I was crazy.
No, you said it to me, you go, I don't know why I didn't listen
to you, you were trying to protect me from all this.
And I was just crazy.
That's okay.
But in my head, it's like, oh, these guys don't want me to do they don't want me to excel
But you know, you know, then you get that seat in your head
Yeah, I know like oh, they just don't want me to flourish blah blah, but my but this I was naive
I was in my head. I was like well if I do a special that makes me like them like I just want to be one of you guys so bad
I was like if I was special then I'm one of them. It's like it doesn't work like that.
You gotta put the work in.
Stand up especially.
Stand up to this.
You stand up.
You gotta put the work in.
It takes its time with you.
You gotta put the work in.
You gotta put the work in.
You just do, right?
There's no, I've never seen an exception.
It's correct.
So that's why with this next 30, I dude,
not only did I dot the eyes and cross the teeth,
I had shulks whose the most critical comic on the planet.
I would come watch my set, see if you find any holes in it.
Come watch the set.
I shoot next week, come watch the set.
Tell me if you've seen any holes.
So smart.
Cross the eyes, dot the teeth.
Yeah.
Don't have me come or anything.
You were in town.
Oh yeah.
Otherwise it would have to come.
Yeah man, I mean, listen to that.
But it's just the way it works.
It's the only one way to learn, you know?
There's only one way to fucking learn.
And I hope people hear that because it's like,
you're kind of supposed to make fucking mistakes.
I don't know how else.
But it gets a mistake to really special that early,
but it's also like, that's my journey.
Like my journey is so different than everybody else.
It's like to have a special on a major network
after two years of doing stand-up,
it's fucking insane.
It will never happen again.
It will never happen again.
It's insane.
Yeah, it's insane.
But then the amount of hours ago,
I can't have that happen again.
I have to do work.
So, that's how I put it in the world.
The other thing is that the other
the most important thing is momentum.
You just kept moving.
It didn't let it stop you.
Oh, that's a moment.
It doesn't matter if it sucks. Okay, my life sucks right now. People are shitty, whatever it is. It, I just kept moving, it didn't let it stop you. Oh, that's a moment. It doesn't matter if it sucks.
Okay, my life sucks right now.
People are shitty, whatever it is.
It, I just keep moving.
I'm like Tom Brady if I throw an inscription.
I don't remember it.
No, he's just keep, right?
You just keep, that's, that's rear view.
I'm Tom Brady.
Yeah, that's rear view.
I'm Tom Brady.
Yeah.
That's why I teach Tiger.
I think you and I are very similar by way.
That's why, nothing gets me down.
I never talk about my past.
I mean, you know, I don't, I move on.
I don't, when was the last time you heard me talk about
like when I was 18 or 20?
I don't want to hear it.
I like saying I was a wrestler, that's about it.
All right, what do you got, kid?
All righty.
AB, you ever go to a coffee shop and you're on your lap time?
We have got to hope nobody sees this.
They're all seen it, dude.
Not only have they seen it.
You don't have to see it.
You don't have to see it. They're a seeing it, dude. Not only are they seeing it. They're not high just off-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�-�- VPN. The recommending different stuff. You can have a VPN, you can have your address in China,
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What are you sick of?
Dude, I'm sick of my truck, right?
I'm sick of your stuff just like,
really knowing being stuck in your truck
and kinda like, you know, it's not organized.
Dude, it's not organized.
People are going there and steal my stuff.
I wished.
I wished there was a deck out there.
DECTS!
Okay, tell me about it.
Get decked, decked,
dude, but is it weather proof?
It's weather proof.
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Yes.
It also makes organizing and accessing everything.
That's what I need.
That's what I need, too.
Here's my thing, I have 200 pounds of gear.
Hey, guess what, dude?
They got two full bed length drawers
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Oh, thank God, whatever you got,
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I hate to be a stickler,
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There you go.
So the other night Kanye and Drake were pictured together.
So the beef is officially over.
So you know they had a beef, right?
I did.
And they were going super hard at each other.
And then Drake purposely didn't release his album
until Drake released it first and who released the afroom.
And then they both talked shit about each other in their albums.
Damn. Yeah, they had this weird beef.
Who did better? Who's album did better? Drake.
Drake's. He's a little more commercial.
Drake's as far as streaming wise, but as far as quality, I would say Kanye's is better.
Kanye's a better artist, right? I'd say. That's a deep verse.
Does he have eyebrows in that picture?
He shaved his eyebrows off.
Yeah, shaved his eyebrows in his head.
That's what I did when I was a man. What a character.
That's what a fucking...
Yeah, Kanye also went out into that,
Drake was trying to fuck his wife and it was a bunch of shit.
Well Drake was like you insinuated that you fucked my wife.
I'd rather you come out and say you fucked her
because you insinuated it.
People gummed all these crazy conclusions.
I'd rather you just say you can't have fucked her.
He's a cause it never happened. But people come up with all these crazy conclusions. I'd rather you just say, you can't have fucked up dude. He's a cause it never happened.
But people come up with all these crazy theories
and blah, blah, blah.
Not, I've seen,
and this what makes me the biggest con,
I don't know Drake in any facet.
But with Kanye, I will say this,
I've seen firsthand what kind of dad he is.
And you know, I'm a super dad.
I miss nothing.
Parent conference meetings,
what a PTA meetings, I miss fucking nothing. Parent conference meetings, what a PTA meetings,
I miss fucking nothing.
There's only one other family that doesn't miss anything.
That's the Kardashians.
Kanye doesn't miss a thing.
Kim, when I was like, oh, I'm gonna get one up this bitch.
Like, there's no way she's making this
parent-teacher conference meeting.
There's no way.
She was at the McDonald's, there's no way.
She was there last night.
Flew through the night and made it.
Wow.
Through the night, dude.
She can do no wrong because she's so active.
No, I'm telling you, I'm sure there's no active
in criminal justice or form and stuff like that.
She's special.
All that stuff is great.
As far as a parent, I'm telling you, dude,
they don't miss a thing.
That's huge.
It's not an assistant.
It's not an assistant. It's not an assistant.
It's not one of the, it's them.
The beast, the irony.
The irony, and they probably understand this very well.
The irony is that their kids are dealing with a handicap,
actually with parents like that.
Oh, for sure.
You're dealing with a major handicap.
Your parents are royalty.
How do you instill a work ethic?
How do you instill values?
All that stuff.
It's very fucking difficult that stuff, it's very
fucking difficult. I guarantee it's their main concern. They're trying to figure out a way to
bring their kids up to be they're doing it right. They're okay. They're present. Part of it's just
being... Which I just assume like, ah, they're not going to be... So that's like Stallone's,
Stallone's daughters, they're such, they're so down to earth, they're just... Dives to... Yeah,
but they're down earth. Well, that family is very close. Yeah, they're close. Yeah, they're they're they are there
Like he's at home. They're they're just close but the Kardashians are close. We think about the sisters like they're all super close
Yeah, super tight-knit fans makes all the difference that's like everything free is like when you let me pee on my big day
Go for it. Let's do it. How much do you weigh when you were born?
Really? We have small idea. Really? Were you a small kid? I was 11 pounds.
Family small. 11?
My mom's four, ten and a half, or with your dad's what?
I think it was hyper.
But like my uncle and my mom's had like six, two, so nine years.
Yeah, I think that's all I remember.
But yeah, I was always a small kid.
Very light, too.
Was it a little?
You were a little baby.
I was a little baby.
You always really big.
Yeah. Well, you always really made.
Yeah.
Well, high school, I wasn't like a gigantic at all.
How tall were you?
I graduated at 62.
What'd you weigh?
175.
That's it?
Yeah.
Oh, you were light.
That's not big at all.
No.
Skinny, mini, huh?
Yeah, skewers.
You were really 175?
Yeah.
No, you didn't go to college to put football at 175.
Promise. At 18 years old?
Uh-huh.
Wow.
And then when did you start putting weight on?
Between freshmen and sophomore years, just blew up like 230.
That was a late bloomer man, super late.
Damn.
But you had big bones, you had the...
You could see you were gonna be big right now.
I had size 13 shoe.
Wow.
And you blew up to 230.
I wasn't like tiger.
You know how you look at tiger, like it gets me fucking big. Wow. And you'd you pull up to 230. I wasn't like tiger. You know how you look at Tiger
when it gets me fucking big. Yeah. Like Boston like fucked these kids are big. Yeah. I don't think I was like that.
I was like Ray Lewis. He was giving a speech to these football players. He still looks like a fucking beast.
He's still in shape. Tiger has had training wheels on his bike for, I don't know, fucking how long. He hasn't ridd it that much.
Has it rode like crazy amount.
And then all of a sudden he's like, that I want you to take the training wheels off.
Like dude, I need a bike.
Schingar's, wrist guards.
And I see him, I'm like, I didn't have all that shit.
Like I fucking, I'll take him off.
And I'm roll the dice to my kid.
I'm like, I'll take him off.
Learn to ride a bike within an hour.
Doesn't need fucking training wheels anymore.
Fuck. But I fucked up because I thought I'd take him like weeks to learn it
because he'd keep falling. He is that Kobe mentality. He wouldn't go inside until
he got the bike right. And it's like turning dark and like, do come on. He's like,
no, just kept falling, kept getting up, kept getting up. Yeah, has that Kobe
mentality. So I, yeah, it is what it is. There'll be get it other shit. But I told Tiger, I go,
dude, if you learned to ride this bike
without training wheels, I will buy you any bike you want.
You can pick the bike out, I'll buy you a bike.
This fucking kid gets it that night.
I go, well, you got it now.
Let's see if you do it tomorrow.
For school, we can go out five a.m.
Dad, let's go out there.
I'm like, dude, it's five a.m.
He's like, we'll be quiet.
I'm like, all right, fuck you, let's go.
You know, I'm down for it.
Do that, I want to promote it, help him out.
Go out there, first try.
Does it go on in circles.
My holy shit, you can ride a bike.
He goes, yeah, you owe me a bike.
And my fuck's sakes out of your bike.
This morning, dad, where's the bike at?
I'm like, fuck.
So awesome, he just wants a bike.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The fucking beast, man.
My son, I have to say, my son is not a risk taker that way
But you know what he is funny as shit a little creative funny. It's so great. That's how it goes
He's just so I so hilarious man. I guess right now. He's a snitch
Well stitch my daughter my daughter drives me nuts
My daughter tends to be the boss and she'll she'll she'll regulate stuff and and she's a mask where it's a whole thing.
She's very into rules.
She's, yeah.
You give her rules and she's gonna follow.
That'll pay off down the room.
Yeah.
Everybody has their thing, man.
Yeah, and there's positive, if you harness it,
yeah, it's all personality shit.
You got a harness.
Tiger's a snitch and then he's a super snitch,
drives me fucking nuts.
And then he has that Kobe mentality
where you won't stop until you get to write. Yeah. He's a super snitch, drives me fucking nuts. And then he has that Kobe mentality where you won't stop till you get to write.
He's a very sore loser,
called his grandma loser the other day,
because he kept dropping ball and he goes touchdown.
She doesn't know he lost that one, he goes,
you're a loser, can't talk to your grandma like that.
I'm talking over here.
She's a very sore loser.
My daughter is, she is very competitive.
And in fact, you could even say, like my father,
she's and her mother, I'm not competitive.
I'm just not.
Her mother and my father, if they're not winning,
well, they're gonna quit.
Now, she will find a way to rig the game
if she's versus she'll be like, well, you're cheating.
That's what I grew up with my brother and my dad, the most competitive family. Oh, yeah. The most. Well, the three of you, she'll be like well, you're cheating. That's what I grew up, you know with my brother and my dad
My most competitive family. Oh, yeah the most well the three of you although I can't be around each other Jay is
He's worse than me. Is that true? He's a nightmare really? He's a night. Jay never got a nightmare
Oh a nightmare I can get over it. He doesn't he's like an elephant
He hates being if it's like if it. And he hates being, if someone like,
if it's a comic or a podcast we've talked to you about,
like even like being funny, dude,
he will hold a judge, a grudge against them for years.
I'm like, I don't remember them saying that.
It's not fuck that, dude.
What? That was seven years ago.
Wow.
Not. So the three of you must have,
it must have been a situation.
Tough.
Yeah, it's arguments.
We like to argue.
Arguments?
Oh, we argue to the state.
To the state.
I do.
Oh, you do even to tell.
Oh, yeah.
I must get nice and nasty.
Tough.
I must get nice and nasty.
But that's super left.
We're kind of on the right.
That's fun.
Yeah, my dad called me an asshole.
Like we were at in Utah. There's the last time I was there and he Uh, like we were at, in Utah,
this is the last time I was there and he goes,
and I was being, I was being a dick.
I was being a dick.
Yeah.
About, he was being, I didn't like the way he was
stating his case.
So I came out and I'm gonna go,
well, and he hit me with this.
He goes, when you're ready for facts,
I'll give you this.
And oh, by the way, you're an asshole.
Yeah.
My mom was like, all right, you guys,
and then I was like, oh yeah.
Yeah, that's how it goes. Yeah. How about my mom hasn't talked me in a week now because
I'm King of the Sting. Stevie talked about how he steals red bulls. I said, oh yeah, that's
cool. When I grew up, my mom didn't have a lot of money, so she would take us to, um,
well, she's returning this, repeating this. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah, I doubled down. Way to go,
mom. It's just what it is, how I grew up. Yeah, so she would you know
She have a lot of my stachy to chilies and my favorite thing in the world growing up was a full rack of ribs and a chocolate shake
I knew my mom would get paid if she goes you guys wanted to chillies tonight
That was like our Morton stacass at the time is a such a big deal
Now you can't fucking I wouldn't touch that place with a fucking porch fork. Anyways, pitch fork.
Pitch fork.
And a porch fork.
Yeah, porch fork.
So my mom would take us there.
I remember she used to do it all the time.
I didn't realize it.
To the later I was talking out loud,
because they're like, oh, have you guys ever stolen anything?
I was like, yeah, I remember my mom going to Chili's
and I'd get a full rack of ribs and I'd get shake and spray.
You want something else?
I was like, I'll take another shake.
I was like, eight.
But I take another shake. You know, that's what I'm so fucking fat now. So I just have full rack of ribs and I get shake and spray you want something else like I'll take another shake I was like eight but I take another shake, you know, that's what I'm so fucking fat now
So I just have full rack ribs. I was like eight full rack ribs fries two shakes mom
Like you want anything else like I'm kind of full my brother. I'm full too. There's shakes
They're so fucking delicious the chairs on top. I get extra chairs anyway
So we need all this food mom like oh cool cool
So I'm gonna go get's car. I'll meet you guys up front and I'm like, oh cool cool. So I'm gonna get
card on each guy's up front and I'm like, okay, I didn't know how worth it. Okay,
sounds good. And then that's your dash. Yeah, we do that non-stop. And then I tell that story and then
got to mom and then air goes, when did you realize your mom was stealing it? Just now,
just now. So we I told that story. They made an animation of I post it, my mom goes, real nice, real fucking nice.
She was like, damn what I could.
No mom, it's just a joke.
She said, well, it's not funny to me.
I'm like, I love your mom.
That was great.
I tried to feed her kids.
And you turned it into a cartoon.
You turned it into a cartoon.
That's a thankless fucking son.
Welcome.
Welcome to the Chronicles of the Nightmare. God, welcome to the prodigal son. I rise on my nightmare to do.
Thanks for the protein and the calcium.
You know what?
Here's a cartoon for your fucking effort.
Dude, my mom used to bounce checks.
Like you wouldn't believe.
Like, like, like, like, no she didn't care.
Like pizza?
Yeah.
We grew up on pizza.
Sure.
Like my mom, it's rare she made it.
You can be creative when you don't have enough.
Do you cheat order this large pizza from my brother's pizza?
Yeah. And then just bounce the check.'s the thing about you know bounce checks work
Yeah, so pizza crackers are $70. Yeah, just check bounces
But he's right about your mom remember she might have been committing crime. It was for her fucking face sure
So I don't know you do nothing taught me more lessons life when we go to blockbuster and we just I don't know
I we just lose the video can't can't we lose the movies. And then by you owe us $600. Yeah. Mom
I'm like, come on, what are we doing here? And like talk to the guy and then sure enough
you'd give us the video at the normal price. It's great. Yeah. It's great. Like come on.
Yeah, she's like, come on. What are we doing? Yeah. I've done that with cops when I get a
speeding ticket. And I'm like, guys, I mean, what do we go fast?
Yeah, you guys are like, I wanted to go fast, I had the road.
Okay, I'm always in some bullshit car though. If you're in a car like yours, they're gonna be like, and another.
No, the guy was cool. What's in this? He's like, there's no way this is legal. I went, you know a brother and bump-fist.
Somebody getcha.
Already? brother and bump this. So, what do you get, Jim? All righty.
He had a penalty on the cop, though.
Oh, yeah.
So this one's for you, Brendan.
Quentin Tarantino is planning on releasing a bunch of Pulp Fiction NFTs.
However, he doesn't technically own the rights to create.
He wrote it, though.
I believe he sold the rights to over to the production company, which is Miramax.
Roman. And so, Miramax is currently in the process of trying to get him to stop
really hard rewinds and fund it too. I
That won't say that'd be a
That's dicey company. So yeah, but now it was taken over by it's credit or whatever
But Tarantino is basically saying fuck it and he's gonna release it anyways and deal with the ramifications of it after.
We still make money, but after all the legal fees and shit.
Did he buy any no fun toads?
How's that going, Brian?
That's going well, man.
Do we've sold on the other house?
How much no fun toads are right now on the open house?
You're supposed to put it as your avatar on social media. Yeah, do that. I'm not
I don't want to get people to buy I'm not
I'm not going to be a buyer. You get that, dude
Dude 600 bucks dude. 649. Do you really pay a hundred something? 120. Now that's if you have number 510
Mm-hmm, which I don't think we do because you invite right now pretty good though trading not only 11 sold in the last few days
Okay
Medium price 115 pay 120. It's a marathon. Not a sprint. Remember that it's a marathon. Not a sprint
Do anything familiar with this? Oh
I got to see what toads we have maybe we have some of that more because it randomly gives you some
That's shoot out. You bought a lot of toads and there I think we should I think we should cash out
I think we should I think we should give me my money. I want to create our own NFT and I want to release 500 of them
No, white 500 make him limit addition release two of them no
Because you want to see you need them to trade you need people to trade no have have some paid and crazy about price for the
limited edition find the kid brank y'all and you could but i think you make
five hundred you make three hundred and now they get traded all over the world
we have too many you think so two hundred
hundred fifty fifty fifty make him super belly has a few i don't know uh
like the bring up tiger belly and a few. I don't know like the
Bring up Tiger belly NFTs. They definitely have quite a few
But I want to do them right
Then how much others going for see it's one thing that they're offered that it's another thing are people buying them for that
people buying them for that.
Like if I want that founders collection, click on that one of Kaliil and Bobby. Sold out 500 unique ones.
Price rarity. Now what I want to say go for.
I don't know, the whole thing is weird.
We should do some finally-cured NFTs
I feel like that. Yeah
Sold out Closed closed sold out rarity legendary. Let's do a fucking. Let's do a character
Just do a character. No, it's to your nuts as NFT
You're not a boss to do that. I would do that in a heartbeat. Jule nuts. Oh, you're not but Jule nuts
to do that. I would do that in a heartbeat. Jeweled nuts. Oh, you're nuts. But Jeweled nuts. My nuts. Yeah. We take a picture. Yeah. We do a likeness. But
dazzle. And we do a badazzle nuts. And and it would have. I'm in the computer. They have
these. They have these programs where they can be able to do different badazzles. So we're
just we'll just show a picture of your anus and nuts from the back. And then they can do
whatever they want with them. And call them bulldog nuts. Yeah. Bulldog nuts and
FTs. I want 100% we'll do that. Sure. Yeah. Bulldog nuts and FTs. I 100% will do that.
Sure, you get your big nuts on there.
Okay.
Well, don't get people with the idea.
Let's check in.
Yeah, no, we'll do that.
Let's do it.
I don't care about people giving the idea.
Dude, that's too much of a trolled nuts.
I can get the guy to work on him right now.
Oh, that's funny.
I'll get him to it.
How many do you have?
That's Brian's on the right.
Only 100 dude.
How many do it really?
We want a limited edition, 100.
100.
Yeah.
All right.
And it's two different versions of your nuts.
I like it.
We're just getting in.
Shining got big nuts, you look like you got little nuts.
Mine on like medium sized.
How many do we keep?
Hell if we release 100.
I don't want them.
Sell them.
Yeah. I don't need to pick your nuts. I have it on my phone. I'll sell that. I'll tweet that out right now
I said that's in confidence
You have video of me dancing
God do I ever so a new announcement came out from
YouTube headquarters where they're planning on taking away
the user's ability to see the dislike button.
So they could-
They did that already.
I saw that this morning.
Is it active already?
Is that the thing?
Oh wow.
I want to have video and it just shows the likes.
Is that a good thing?
I don't know, because it's kind of good,
because I'll see there's trolls out there.
I think that's a small percentage of people.
So if people don't like the video,
I think it's good to let you know where you're're at like, all right, I'm not going to do
this anymore. I'm going to change this. You can still view it.
There's an algorithm. You can still view it on. But I don't know.
I guess. Are you still able to dislike a video? Because
yes, yes, good show that I've seen. It was written that only the
content creator can see the dislike ratio. So for you, but you
can do a dislike,
but it doesn't show how many dislikes,
you don't show how many likes,
but why not just get rid of all of it?
Just a thumb and a down,
but not let people know.
For the, and then the creator can see it behind the paper,
though, but the wall.
Oh, but my thing is that the hate on the cover,
the hate's in the comments.
The hate's in the comments.
Yeah, that's what a lot of people are like.
Like, I don't want to ruin David Lucas's bit, but he goes, I never been called more the N word than in the comments. The hates in the comments. Yeah, that's what a lot of people are. Like, I don't want to ruin David Lucas's bit,
but he goes, I've never been called more the
N word than in YouTube comments.
Yeah.
He's like, then how do you know how it's black?
He's like, from the run on sentences.
Okay.
I've never, I just don't know why people comment.
And I don't know why people read comments.
I would not read.
I know you read them, but you want people commenting.
That's how you get paid on the algorithm.
You want people commenting with its Instagram and YouTube you want all the time?
You get paid off of and get that's why it's even disliking a video gets that creator paid
So the more you dislike something the more money you're putting into the creators pockets
You know why I was commenting multiple fire emojis on my brothers Instagram
Policeman. Well Jordan Jordan Peterson said that he never thought he'd make.
He can't believe that all these social justice
were basically made him a multi-millionaire.
Every time they hate on him and they run it,
they hold a demonstration.
His Patreon goes up $10,000.
Go back to that article from it, Jim.
Yeah.
What does it say about,
because is it discouraging trolls?
Because they can still leave negative comments.
So it says it will discourage a lot of trolling, a lot of mean-spirited people on the internet that want to rip it down
with people's creative work. I don't think so. You might put your heart and soul into
something that doesn't come out the way you want it with lights or dislikes. On this
gram account, I've taken all lights off and it's really helpful a lot of caring about
the amount of people like it, with not caring about.
I think because you have the option of disabling comments on YouTube,
so you could take that away to take the
different things out. You do test out hiding dislike,
told it from you earlier this year, and it says it's been shown to reduce
coordinated attacks. Oh, so people that plan on.
Yeah, they do a lot of that.
They rack up huge dislike, tell these people's content.
Jesus, they do that a lot.
Anti-vaccine, vaccine, all that.
Dislikes, stop, clickbait.
They use, I've said the, the missed,
just like toes, there are loads of comments saying,
all right, P dislikes on one of you.
A lot of you, a lot of this is foreign stuff too,
depending on their, on their.
Chris Burns says, he'll miss the told us
that they can really help for use to avoid clickbait.
I want to really know how good the video is
before you watch it, 23 old says.
A lot of time you can trust,
you can't trust the towel thumbnail correct.
If you see a tutorial video, it gets, it got almost all this like, you don't
start going to help you. Well that's at least my words. So you should always see how
YouTube's decision protects them from stress because they'll still be able to
see the total as a creator. We don't have to look at it, dude. I don't care what
they do. It already auto-blocks a lot of hateful comments which is fantastic.
It opens up about trolls. I heard some people talking,
like they were adults going bad on Billy Isles.
They were like, she f-
and you know, I was like,
hey guys, get a f- in life, she's 18.
She's great.
She's going in that.
She's very talented.
She's stupid.
She's very talented.
Very attractive.
It's like, what are you talking about?
I don't even know when that happened.
It might have been in Dream I had.
Anyway, keep going.
Look at that.
YouTube rewind 2 on 18 has over 19 million dislikes
to be able to 3 million likes.
Yeah, they actually got rid of the YouTube rewind videos
because like, you mean where you can rewind it?
No, so at the end of the year for the last like,
I don't want to say like five or six years,
YouTube has released a video filled with the most popular
content creators on their platform.
121 million views. And progressively it's gotten worse and worse with the most popular content creators on their platform. 121 million views.
Progressively it's gotten worse and worse with the dislikes because people are criticizing
them saying that you don't actually put YouTubers on there, you put people that you're
pushing on and not people that we actually watch.
But people who also watch this is like the very woke young far left, like we want our fave on there.
This person, XYZ.
I mean, I don't know how you're gonna limit hate on anything.
You know, people have opinions, stuff like that.
They also like to hate it.
It's more fun to hate.
It's more fun to hate.
But also, if you have a fan base,
like anything with my stuff,
I mean, like you look at when we had Chris Lee
on the fight campaign, I was telling Chris this,
it's 15,000 to one.
Yeah. It's 15,000 to 1,000 to one. Yeah, it's 15,000 to 1000 dislikes. Yeah. I mean, it's like Chris, the 15,000 people, that's, that's, that's the people that count.
Fuck a thousand people. Yeah, fuck off.
Right, this video looks fucking terrible.
They're just like really big creators, I'm sure. Yeah, they're like super.
19 million dislikes.
Go ahead, just like this. That is kind of crazy.
No, our refuse.
So this video has gone viral.
Two Fox news anchors were talking about how people do not
like woke media, woke shows.
And they're speaking about the show, you, the female anchor.
Are they talking about like in you?
Like remember when they were in the episode.
Yeah, the measles, they were talking about the measles
outbreak episode.
Oh, and basically that's their version of the vaccines
and they murdered the dad because he didn't want to get
the sun back saying that the sun gave the kids measles.
Yeah, so this is the point, fire.
The numbers don't lie.
So there was that and then also in you,
that was real woke, is remember when they were about
to, they were gonna swing for the first time?
Yeah.
And then the main character,
there's like this hand that he runs
with our Aubrey Marcus to a tee.
Have you seen you?
I've seen you.
And when he's like, yeah, I'm really,
I love him.
He's so funny.
He's not intentionally funny,
but he's so funny.
And he's like, great.
Do this brother.
He's like, they're gonna do it.
And then we're gonna do it.
And then she's like, well, how do you feel
about hooking up with whatever's named, Brian? And he's like, okay, do this brother. He's like, they're gonna do it and then we're gonna do it. And then she's like, well, how do you feel about hookin' up
with whatever's name, Brian?
And he's like,
okay, I'll look at my gruggo.
This is them pushing the work with gender.
Any guy in his head,
because it's his internal thoughts,
we go fuck,
this is happening.
And I go,
but they're trying to be so woke,
making them seem like you's open to the idea.
Yeah, that's not how straight guys are.
That's why I told him,
I'm like, that gives you the gay,
or because if it's in Toronto,
you're like, holy fuck, what is happening here?
When it's in Toronto, he's like,
well, I guess it's going down.
It's like that's straight guy thing.
It's fine.
Like sometimes, you know, I'm sure in,
in spring, in situations all of a sudden,
somebody's like, I'm gonna suck your dick,
but that's just not how,
you've been there.
And then you're definitely by or something,
but that's, let me see it been there. Again, you're definitely by or something, but that's what, let me see it.
So people are thinking that this video stage
because of this interaction.
To joke, to the politics, and all those
world storylines and so many shows today.
You know, I was watching an episode of You,
where measles came up.
Wait, wait, wait, when did I mention measles?
I don't know.
It was on You. What, what, what, wait, wait, why did I mention measles? I don't know, it was on you.
What, what, what, what, what was on me?
What are you talking about?
Oh shit, another film.
What the fuck me hearing what I'm saying?
I never had the measles.
What's on you?
We never did, she doesn't know, she doesn't know.
We did a measles at vaccine episode of my,
is this the joke?
I know, it was on you.
It was on you.
I never had.
Raymond, I've never had measles.
What is this?
Oh shit, he doesn't know.
It's an episode of a show, Laura.
Called you.
What's it called?
You.
What is it called?
It's called you.
I've never done a show on me.
Oh my god.
We gotta get out.
I gotta give up.
Called you on Netflix. This is show called Laura of a Netflix. She We gotta get out. I gotta get out. Call to you on Netflix.
There's a show called Lauren of an Netflix.
She doesn't get it.
I'm moving on to Adele.
I can't explain this to you.
The pop singer.
Holy fuck.
But she didn't get it.
She probably just didn't get it.
There's a show called you.
He's like, there's a Lord English on Netflix.
You and he's probably, that's what she was thinking.
That's why people think this is stage.
No, that's not stage.
I don't think he's here.
She's looking at the stage. Look stupid there. But also like's not state. I don't think he's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me.
She's looking at me. She's looking at me.
She's looking at me. You kept pushing, you kept going, no, it's called you. If you don't watch it, you think that that's what it's all about. That's hilarious.
I don't think your brain shorts are good.
I just think she does no clue about the show you.
Yeah, it's a fantastic show.
It's great.
I love that couple, the annoying couple at the beginning.
I love them.
He's all in shape.
Rindy, identical to Aubrey Marcus for mine.
He really does.
I did.
The camping episode was hilarious. Oh my God. I have so good. I haven't watched
He's like yell brothers. Yeah, he's like let it out. He's old bro, but I'm not just psycho for the first season
Yeah, he is you don't have a pen that the star
No, he's not the star. He's he'd be the coastline Travis van Winkle dude. He is jack
Who the guy from the show him
Yeah, yeah, he was like the heartthrob in the early 2000s
He played the like stereotypical douchebag and everything. Yeah, he was in Texas, Chainsaw massacre the remake of the remake
Not the original
He's like a brick shit house. Yeah, he's so funny in this gorgeous
And he's hilarious without
Dumbies. Yeah, he's so funny. He's my favorite gorgeous. And he's hilarious without trying to be. Yeah. He's so funny.
He's my favorite character.
Me too, by far.
Yeah.
He's so funny.
He's just made a track on Van Winkle.
Yeah, Van Winkle.
He's a stud.
Oh, gosh.
He's dutch.
And his wife and his sofa,
and she's such your typical,
like, I was not meaning my girl laughing so hard.
It's such the typical, like, mom, like influencer.
Yeah.
Like she has like this long. Yeah.
And their friend goes missing and she does a whole campaign
and she hated like, it's so great.
It's so spot on.
Yeah, he's jacked in that.
Yeah, he's fucking fantastic.
He's so funny.
Tell me the race.
They get locked in, you know, he's a like a basic serial killer
and he puts people in this like confinement that glass confinement
And he's in there and he's planking
She's way doing is like trying to get to that zenz spot babe. He's with his wife. It's so funny
He's such a crazy motherfucker that you show. Oh, it's fantastic. It's so good
I'm glad you turned around. Yeah, I love it. What else you got Jen? Alright, so the IOC, which is what international Olympic Committee
Yeah, they reverse their ruling on the whole trans women or trans people about how they
have to reduce their testosterone. And the reasoning they said here, watch.
Not through testosterone.
I highlighted it here on Tuesday, IOC,
it's admitted that there's no scientific consensus on testosterone effects,
performance across all sports. And that role of testosterone is consensus on Tetsasa on a fixed performance across all sports.
And that role of Tetsasa on creating on-fair advance is on clear.
So is it off to the races for everybody?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
That's what it's saying.
That's fantastic.
Everybody gets to do it.
Now we can get some legit fucking competitors.
They just do it on the nerves.
If they're naturally, or not, can you say naturally trans?
If they're just trans, they would, I don't know how to say it.
So if you transition into a woman and you're a man,
whatever levels you have,
as long as you're not taking extra testosterone.
Fantastic.
So if I wanted to compete in a woman's 100 meter,
you're gonna win everything.
Yeah, yeah.
Put away guns.
Juwanemen.
You want me in Olympian?
Yeah.
I want a gold medal. This is fantastic. That's such
Very but just the and what scientific can I not just did they look
Testosterone isn't gonna it's fucking it's this political
I'm gonna enter I'm gonna enter the death lift Olympic competition. You got a transition. I know you got a transition
Just identify you don't do anything do I only have to do it for the
I have to transition. No, I'm just gonna toss a wig and dress. I'm a woman. No, you don't have to put a wig on.
No, I'm saying I'm a woman. I don't want to be offensive. I'm gonna do the whole thing. You're not a woman.
You're being offensive right now. You're being anti woman. No, put a wig on. You're a person that that's insane. Yeah, that's sick.
That's sick. That's sick
All right, the only you saw to do the same thing you see the UFC released their quarterly
Statements they've made the most money. They've ever made you ever ever
ever
They were around during the pandemic, so yeah
So Britney Spears is thinking fans
right now for the free Britney movement. She kind of seems like when you hear
it talk she's sort of lucid but kind of still a little awkward but still more lucid.
Okay so I'm here today to answer all of you guys questions and the first many questions
you guys can ask. I can real fast right? Yeah. I'm going to do now, but the conservatorships overwish. Very good question. Well let's see, I've been in the conservatorship for very few years.
Jam.
It's a really long time to be in a situation you don't want to be in.
So I'm just grateful honestly for each day and being able to have the keys to my car
and being able to be independent.
The keys to my car.
There you go.
I'm owning an ATM card.
Seeing card.
Seeing cash for the first time.
It's little things for us women, but it makes a huge difference.
It's not just women, it's everybody.
I'm grateful for that.
You know, it's nice.
It's really nice.
But I'm not here to be a victim.
I live with victims my whole life as a child.
That's why I got out of my house.
And I worked for 20 years and worked my ass off.
I'm here to be advocate for people with real disabilities and real illnesses.
I'm a very strong woman, so I can only imagine what the system has done to those people.
So hopefully my little story, hopefully my story, will make it impact and make some changes
in the corrupt system.
And the free-written element, you guys rock.
I feel like we're part of it, you know.
She seems a little bit...
She sounds better, like she's more real.
She's been through a lot.
She can finally speak.
Because of you guys in the awareness of kind of knowing what was going on
And delivering that news to the public now what I want to run her my social media brain
Not to all of them seems a little crazy
She said into a lot but after that you'd be pretty fucked up
Yeah, great
No, the bad thing they did to me which they should be this should be all in jail for yes and glue my church going mother
Oh, yeah, this is be all in jail for yes and glue my church going mother.
Oh yeah, this is drama with her mom. Yeah.
That one's crazy.
I'm a Brittany fan.
Same.
God damn it.
That's why I sign it though.
Do you see my sign on,
I'm Braia, so by the time you're reading this,
Brittany's been free.
I don't know, I didn't follow it,
but my girl did and I was, me on her. Oh she was so what
I'm not gonna say right. I'm sorry. No, she did it. She had a tough time. I'm sorry. I sell baby eating pizza and shit, man. Yeah
How old is she now 40?
What if she'll start doing shows again now she's gonna make money 35 me ball
No 39 gonna make money 35 me ball no shit 39
well she's free man I feel like the fans did it that
documentary definitely even I was a free red
third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year third year her dad kept her finance them taking her money her mom but I'm piece of shit. What are these people about?
Her sisters a piece of shit.
Amy Lynn Spears they just went bad on her.
Can you imagine all those people going bad?
That's tough.
Like all your closest people and what did she do?
What did she do?
She just was great.
What she did.
Mike what there had to have been something.
There had to have been something that granted conservators.
Yeah.
What was it?
Was it just she went a little nuts? Well, remember the whole movement was all free-briting people
are trying to read in the articles. I think we're gonna, I think we're gonna, well anyway, I don't know.
I'm sure we'll get more news. Yeah. It's time goes on. I'm here for it. I don't want any new tracks out of anything. Just sing the classics, you know. Hit me with the mic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What?
Hit me, baby.
One more time.
That's not how it goes.
Okay.
What else you got?
You don't know.
This is just a, I just saw Kanye on this podcast.
And apparently people that watch this podcast.
Can you talk?
Yeah, people that watch his theater.
He was like, well, he's a huge.
It's the best, it's the best interview I've ever heard Kanye on.
Oh, there you go.
Really?
His hair is what I was paying attention to the most.
Yeah.
I just had a cell phone.
I just had a cell phone on him.
He said it's like Doves.
He did himself.
Oh, okay.
And now kids are doing it.
And then he shared his eyebrows.
Yeah.
It's the best interview you ever see.
That's what everyone's saying.
All right.
Not even close.
Where do I see it on YouTube YouTube you to
Revolve drink champs drink champs
Huge box really yeah, especially for the rap culture huge box
Okay, I saw this as well a loud worker that works at Merck. Whoa. Oh
Jesus Christ small box. You don't want to fuck with that. Yeah, they say found vials labels smallpox yeah Yeah, and now the FBI is investigating it
Christ that's they said some other like sketchy stuff inside that freezer to yeah, you don't want to fuck around with small box
That's not good. Yeah, 15 questionable vials
Well, he's like got him. Yeah, they said no one's been affected, but who knows what this is?
I'm I will say I'm worried about the fact that
if you have something like COVID that's this contagious
and it had a 1% death rate, if it goes 10%.
Yeah, man.
Do you believe people that did that?
You will have, I believe it's a matter of time
where we know now that there could be
that would be the nice form of terrorism.
Disaster. And it would change everything we know now that there could be. That would be the nice form of terrorism. Disaster.
And it would change everything we know.
It would just ruin, it would be crazy.
Yeah, if I'm terrorists, that'd be the move.
If you're seeing how we responded to COVID.
I mean, they have these highly charged,
as we learn more about it.
It's tough to do them.
We do more gene therapy and stuff
that you're gonna be able to manipulate the fuck out
of these cities. It's tough to do though.
I guess, I hope it is.
To spread worldwide, it's tough to do.. I guess I hope it is to spread world-wide. It's tough to do.
Yeah, COVID did. A lot of people died.
It escapes the lab and then just spreads like wildfire.
Yeah.
What else you had, Jen?
All righty. Maybe you ended on this. I just saw Halle Berry post recently. So this was getting going sort of viral.
She's fucking gorgeous.
All right. Jesus Christ. And then I saw her here too. So this was getting going sort of viral fucking gorgeous, right?
And then I saw her here too. She's so pretty. I like I like her so much. We all like her. Oh
G cat woman. Yeah, that's right. Look at her man. She's a great cat woman. She's young. She's the OG cat woman. Mm-hmm
She's a titties out. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, she's a titties out. Yeah, yeah, that is Gairmo from Jimmy Kimmel. Nope. He's always trying to bother LeBron at the games. He's the security guard
I'm kidding. I'm a character on the show, but I like her a lot. She's smoking hot. Well, we all like her guys. She's so fucking good looking man
And we'll just one more
And we'll just one more. So older.
I've seen this.
I haven't seen this.
It's a scooter on a freeway.
Is it Stevie?
I don't know.
I'm surprised that, well, that's his own personal scooter because you can't take like
a bird on the, yeah, they'll shut down.
Wow, he's going 50 on that.
Doesn't Stevie have like a high-powered scooter?
He goes as fast as a car. He's 560 right now. Stevie's done. Oh, Stevie's does. Doesn't Stevie have like a high-powered scooter? Homeboy's new fast. He goes as fast as a car. He's 560 right now.
Stevie's done.
Oh, Stevie's does, yeah.
Stevie sent me a picture of him.
I only got 20 miles now.
Oh, he got a brand new one that goes as fast as a car.
Stevie can also mess with it, Brian.
Really?
Yeah, you can do, they told us we can do something
to it to make it go faster.
Ah.
They have what?
Limiters?
Yeah.
Stevie sent me a picture of his new scooter and butters on it. They have what? Limiters? Yeah. Yeah. Stevie seven a picture is a new scooter and
butters on it. Yeah. He and I went to Corne Del Marth's past weekend with butters and we
put them in a basket and just rode around. Yeah. It's so nice. Sounds nice. It's scary though.
I don't want to drop the dog. Oh he's fine. It's in a basket. That's his cute on to the scooter.
All right. Is that a chance?
That's it?
There we go kids.
Old school style.
Come see me this weekend or Orlando improv.
What do you leave for tomorrow?
Friday.
You're flying in same day?
I'm flying in the same day.
I don't fuck around.
Same day.
Orlando's not my favorite.
There's not a lot to do with him.
Let's be honest.
I'll say it's the worst.
Hey, there's always Jackson.
I got Friday and Saturday.
And there's always Jackson.
He's always Jackson. There's always Jackson, nobody. And I won't be doing that. Orlando, hey, there's always Jackson. I got Friday and Saturday and there's always Jackson. There's always Jackson.
There's always Jackson, nobody.
And I won't be doing that.
Orlando, Bogey-Raton, Florida,
Lafing, Speed Comedy Festival, December 3rd.
A lot of Florida for that.
A lot of Florida.
I love it there.
We're crowd.
Kansas City, Missouri, improv.
December 17, 18, 19.
Great barbecue out there.
Not bad.
But then you got a good, you got,
you got Oklahoma City,
you got three great clubs. You got Bricktown, Wise Guys, Salt Lake City, and then you got a good you got You got three great clubs you got Bricktown wise guys Salt Lake City and then spoke in town the club look at that
Spokane's fucking great. I got a local all this you know Bricktown and Spokane are the same owners
Yes, they are and then Everett the theater. I'm doing the same owners. Oh nice. Yeah, yeah, so Bricktown
They were on a great wise guys January 6 to 8
Spokane color clubour Club, January 20th. Daddy is on the road.
Daddy's on the road.
Daddy's not, that is not far.
I like how you have that week of December 11th off
for the fight campaign.
Yes, sir.
Now, I wanted to do the fight campaign
December 18th too for the Jake Paul fight,
but we'll figure it out.
Yeah, you're in Kansas City.
Yeah.
But we'll do it for sure the 11th, Chris Lee,
you, maybe a special guest.
There you go.
We'll see.
I'm about to get a special guest.
I got a couple ideas.
You do too?
Yeah, well, yeah, I can have a book.
But you still shut your mouth.
Oh, you do?
Yeah, got you.
Everett Washington, November 27th, Everett Theater out there in Washington, Everett,
Hey, Boeing, give the workers the night off so they can come to my show because that's
where the hub of Boeing aircrafts is at.
Everett Washington is November 27th. One night, once you're only at at Washington's, November 27th,
one night, once you're only at Everett Theater,
then Dania, Florida, Fort Lauderdale, Florida,
December 30th through January 1st,
bringing the new years with your thick friend here
that's December 30th through January 1st,
get your tickets to FATKZ for myself in Brian Cown.
Thick Friday is this fucking Friday.
Everybody else can do it on Black Friday,
fuck your Black Friday.
It's Thick Friday this Friday. Friday. Everybody else can do it on Black Friday, fuck your Black Friday. It's Thick Friday this Friday.
We have the authentic baseball jersey.
You see me wearing now, and then also the Philly one,
and then also the built cloud workout,
Camel Gear drops Friday as well.
Get all that at thickboy.com at 9am Pacific
at thickboy.com.
All right, kids, love ya.
Brian, texting, great.
I figured we were done.
We're done.
See ya.
boy.com. Alright kids, love ya. Brian, Texan, great. I figured we were done. We're done. See ya.