The Fighter & The Kid - TFATK Ep. 1064

Episode Date: February 18, 2025

The guys talk Bryan visiting The Mall of America, Brendan's chat with a local corrections officer and hope for larger set women on Love is Blind, Cosplay, pegging advice, current events around the world including a kayaker being swallowed by a whale, Kanye West's newest divorce, Elon Musk having his 13th baby with an influencer and much more! Hims - Start your free online visit today at https://hims.com/fighter Stash - Go to http://get.stash.com/fighter to see how you can receive TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS towards your first stock purchase and to view important disclosures. TRUEWERK - https://truewerk.com/fighter for 15% OFF

Yes we did, cause we back at it again, it's the fighter and the kid This is really the fighter and the kid Come on baby Guys, I'm back here in the sunshine What I did was I spent Thursday, Friday, Saturday in Minnesota as you know In a blizzard It's the winter there isn't it? And Sunday I forgot how cold this country can get

I forgot what cold is I went outside, I think Sunday it was zero degrees in the sunshine. Oh wow. And you're just like, oh, oh. People live in that. Oh lord, do they live in it? And they're like, fine.

Meanwhile, I'm like, get me the fuck. I got back and I got in the sun. I was naked on my veranda in the sun. Did you stay in the Mall America? I did you stay in the in the Mall America? I did not I stayed at the Cumbria just a little bit out and decided to try to walk to the Mall of America That didn't go well. Come on. Yeah Did Nick go with you Nick went with me he as thick as he is Nick is thick Nick Thick Nick Simmons very funny comic. He's great. Um, he

He has a lot of muscle on his body, but he's a little bit of a bitch in the cold. But he lives in New York, it's not warm there. And he's literally like, the minute he's outside, he's griping. Ooh, I don't like this at all. I'm like, let's walk you, fuck that. I'm like, it's only 0.4 miles there.

I'm not doing that. 0.4 in the snow is so far. I'm like, come on, bro. 0.4 in the snow is far. Look at him, all thick and whatnot. Yeah, he's not big. I'm like, you got a at him, all thick and whatnot. Yeah, he's not. I'm like, you got a lot of muscle on you, bro. Yeah, I'm not a lot of fat, so he's gonna get cold.

That's right, that's right. But me, it was so funny. So we, but we had a good time. And policy? Five-seven, and about five-seven wide. Yeah, he's a big kid. Yeah, big kid, funny, funny, funny. Super funny, handsome bastard.

Handsome bastard, big kid funny. Yeah, super funny handsome bastard handsome bastard handsome young man But yeah, it was Did you stroll around that mall I did stroll around the mall that malls weird cuz whatever there's like an aquarium sure And there's there's an amusement park and a Lego park Yeah, and they have all that thing to buy and then there well there's you can buy stuff if you like like mall shit But there's six floors and most the floors have all the same shops on them. Yes. It's just like Groundhog Day each floor You go to yeah, yeah, there's like seven zoomies That's right. Okay. I know I like four cinnabuns the worst the worst. Oh, dude. I just hate malls like that

You're just I don't I don't like that one. It. It's too much. Why do you need a mall that big? Well, also it's where the whitest of the white people live. And so you'll see, it's something weird about the North, Northern climates when it's cold and there's no sunshine. So you stop getting any vitamin D. And also they don't eat, a lot of Americans don't eat well. So what happens to... Dude, my joke was there are white people and then there are white people. These people

are like, my joke was I've seen more color and chalk. Yeah. Like they, and then on top of that, there's this goth culture. So they'll, they'll, they'll, there was a lot of transgender shit going on too. In Minnesota? Yeah. Well, we'll think about who their governor is. Yeah. Right. There's a lot of transgender, a lot of strange because you can hide your dick in the

You just see people and you're like you can hide your dick in long John So if you were though if you're cold year-round can wear long John so all the time and tuck your tail back Yes, but they're big people too. There are big part people. So if you have a guy who's decided he Like the cookie he's had giant cookie monster But he's got some happy I saw I saw a and then when you do see like an attract person like But get out. That's right. That's why oh Oh all all Rosa parked this thing right now a lot of my lot of my fans a lot of people kind of my show Are in shape actually good-looking people. I was surprised. I've seen them not all of them a lot of them

You're kind. No, no a lot of them a lot of some of them but but when when I know what see a, I see a couple and they're an older couple and their son is probably 18, 17 and he's, uh, so they're both limping. They're probably my age, but they look. Season ticket holders with the green day packers. They're limping. They just don't eat well.

Their bodies, they're already, they've got onset adult rickets and whatever else happens when you've just live on Pringles and Doritos and soda. And they're kind of, and with no vitamin D, so they're white as the driven snow, walking with this drab, the outfits are very uninspiring, right?

They're like this. I don't think they're out to towards Minnesota right now. And then their son, who was a big, tall, thin boy with broad shoulders. Thin? Thin, but like a tennis player, a professional tennis player thin. Looked like he could have been something like a runner or an athlete. Just big Norwegian bones.

In stockings and a mini skirt with combat boots. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I didn't think this was normal. You didn't know where I was going. No. And then a mesh kind of little halter top, long hair, jewelry. And you can feel the parents going, I know.

Oh man. When they, they're dying inside, but they see you, they go, yeah, this is Jennifer. Well, this is Jennifer. And then the makeup was very, and then the amount of Makeup like ACP. The metal coming out of the nose and the mouth. So it was this, and I'm just looking at this, these parents, and I'm looking at this kid and I'm thinking, this is the

American lost. Something is going on with our culture where these kids are either put on drugs way too early. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is, man. It's, it's, I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is, man. I don't know what happens to a child where they're that confused

and they're doing that to themselves. Then the parents just go. The parents looked as though, you know the white walkers? That they were- Oh, they're in cruise control. You could put- They don't wanna face it.

And I'm not kidding when I say this. There are a lot of people who in the winter time in certain Northern climates, control. You could play. They don't, they don't want to face it. Oh, I, I'm not kidding. When I say this, there are a lot of people who in the winter time in certain Northern climates, you see this in Edmonton too, places like in where, where it's like just so cold and there's nothing gross. They walk through that winter. And if you put just a little bit of makeup on, they'd be zombies. Just a little, by the way,

you could tear the shirt a little bit and then put maybe no makeup. And you'd be like, just walk. It's fucking depressing. Yeah, but that's anywhere. There's great parts there. Even in LA, I met this baseball dad and he's the head of corrections at a prison out here near Skid Row. Okay. Oh boy. And he doesn't talk much you can tell you know But you can just tell you as those eyes where he's seen some shit. Yeah, so we sit down for dinner I'm like, oh hell yeah, and you know, he doesn't talk much. I was trying to get out of him and find like

How was your day man? Good good. I'm like you got to see some crazy. Come on. Do you guys see some good shit? He goes Well, um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, let's see today in this how you know, you see crazy she goes well, we took a guy in who was high on PCP and Killed his mom by biting her throat out. Oh, no. Oh My lord, oh it's You know this PCP shit. Yeah, but I went excuse me goes yeah. Yeah, so that was uh, was that Wednesday? Yeah, it was Wednesday and then oh and then today there's a guy

Covered himself in feces completely and was holding two turds and said come on in the water's warm Okay, and then took a bite of the turd Okay Okay. Well, I said he seems from shitting us. It's never been worse. Yeah. He goes, I've been, yeah, I think he's been there like 30 years. Mental illness on a high level. Whatever you want to say. He goes, it's never been worse. Oh no.

Yeah. He goes, he goes out with the fentanyl, like the gang. Oh. He goes, it's never been worse. Fuck. He goes, right now it's an all time high of it's never been worse in prisons. And he goes, and we don't have the infrastructure. Like the, the prisons were built in like the fucking like early fucking 19 fucking sixties. So he's like, there was a shot caller who was talking, I think this was in California. I just went, huh? Okay. How's your day? I didn't see him. We killed her mom, biting her throat out. There was

a, there was a shot caller in jail. He was talking about, he said, uh, there was a shot caller in jail he was talking about. He said there was a female guard and she just decided that she was going to fuck with all the, she wanted to lay down the law and she didn't like criminals and whatever it was. So she's going into the leader of the gangs, the lead, she goes, I'm going to go with it. I'm going to bite the head of the snake off, let them know what's up. Because I'm this woman and Ben and Emma. So she starts going into the leader of the gangs, the leads, she goes, I'm gonna go with it, I'm gonna bite the head of the snake off, let them know what's up, because I'm this woman and Ben and Emma. So she starts going into the leaders of the gangs in jail,

and she's taking their pictures of the kids, and then she's flushing them down the toilet, she's throwing shit, she's pulling all their shit out, and it's really bad. Like, you know. They cut her tits off? Huh? They cut her tits off?

No, no. no, don't. I'm not. Oh, it has to be some horrific shit. So they're like, what do we do? You can't attack. If you, if you attack a prison guard, you know, they got guys, it's big. So, so they go, we got to do something. Cause she was like, when she flushed down, I guess she flushed down one of the guys kids, the pictures of his kids. Yeah. I can't do that frown upon so they were like alright This is getting and then she was putting them in the hole for no reason all kinds of weird shit So they were like alright. What do we do they go to an arsonist and This arsonist had started a fire and he killed a kid died in the fire

So he was they said to him you're always gonna get stabbed you're dead Yeah, you know no matter what Chalmers, but you're you killed a kid. You're an arsonist. You're a weirdo We're gonna kill you. I mean you're gonna get stabbed. You're dead. Yeah. You know, Chomos, but you killed a kid, you're a narcissist, you're a weirdo, we're gonna kill you. I mean, you're gonna get stabbed. No matter where you go, what jail they transfer you to, you're always gonna get dealt with. You got one out. You got one out. Cause they said he's got hands too, he could throw, he was like kind of tough. They said, you have to go beat the shit out of this prison guard, this female prison guard. He has some added time, but that's what I get. Yeah, and that's what he did.

He beat the fucking shit out of her. Didn't kill her though? No, she had to be held. She got off easy. No, you don't want to kill. But they knew that if they beat her up badly enough, she'd be transferred out of jail. She would stop doing it.

She'd be transferred out of jail. So she got hella vac'd out of that jail. And that was just an interesting thing. And they were like, that's how we do things. Well, I don't know, the guy's crazy. He's an arsonist. Yeah. Whoa. Prison life, man.'s an arsonist. Yeah. Whoa. Prison life, prison life, dude.

Uh-uh. Prison life. Yeah. No joke. Anyway, I came down on Minnesota a little hard. Yeah. Your piece of shit. A little bit.

I like Minnesota. You don't sound like I love my crowds. Good luck when you go back. I'll tell you this about the Minnesotans. I'll give you this. When they do stay in shape, there's some beautiful people because they're big Norwegian Hey Swedish to Germanic to you did a ten-minute rant on how terrible no I but we too late, but I tried in well, I'm not moving so I don't give a flying Minneapolis Minneapolis

Good the st. Paul. Yeah good place terrible really great in the summertime Oh, dude in the summer better no LA. It's a good time, bro It's a clean beautiful city. It's a good time. Yeah All right Well What nationality do you think you see the most in to what two nationalities do you think you see the most Native American American there is a lot of First Nation people. Yeah, tons.

But no, but besides that. Probably not at your shows. I like that, but besides that, give me what else? Well, I mean, not far away, but Milwaukee is predominantly black. Okay, but what would the nationality be? White. No, there's a nationality. Well, we're all Americans.

I'm sorry, there's an immigrant. There's a certain group of immigrants you see a lotity. There's a well, we're all American. There's an immigrant There's a certain group of immigrants. You see a lot of it's interesting are there they getting a bunch of the illegal immigrants from? Yeah, they're actually so you see a lot of Ethiopians and Somalis those poor Somalis a lot of Somalis go from just that that tropical climate Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They come from East Africa, but they might prefer it. I could say for air. Yeah. I mean, you know, yeah, but that is that, that, that's below zero. What's a coat.

Yeah. You'll find out. Yeah. That, that, that 30 below shit. Yikes. Oh dude. I can't God bless them. God bless them.

God, the newest season of Love is Blind is in Minnesota. Is it? It's all handsome people on there. Like all good looking people. Like I said, good looking people in Minnesota. Some of them. Now you went hard on the paint. You're trying to recover now, it's too late.

Yeah, I went a little harsh. But I told my wife, I was like, if they're gonna do Love is Blind, put fat people on. If it's actually blind and you're gonna make a connection, put some hefties on there. Cause they have great personalities, they're gonna do Love is Blind, put Fat People on. If it's actually blind and you're making a connection, put some hefties on there. Because they have great personalities, they're gonna get picked, they're gonna get chosen, because you can't say anything.

The only one, there's a black girl on there who's a dime. Yeah, I think that's her, she's an NBA dancer. The one. Oh no, the one all the way in the back chin I see No, no, no. Hey the one that answer the fucking But use your eyes chin. No, not those other three warlocks the one that danced for the goddamn NBA Dude, so she but she she kind of gave her hand cuz there's one guy's like trying to decide between her This other girl who's a warlock and also likes women

I'm like bud the writings on the wall. In the first fucking date, he was like, oh, are you athletic? And she's like, oh, well, I used to, she's like, I'm in a basketball. She like, they can't say how they look, it's against the rules. And he goes, oh yeah. She goes, I'm in a basketball and I like dancing. He goes, what kind of dance? And she's like, well, I dance professionally. And he goes, he goes, professional like ballet. And she goes, I dance for an NBA team right there. I'm like, I'm picking her. I'm signing. I don't need this because NBA is not going to hire some fat girl or some warlock. Well, so I can't believe you bring this up. But then he must have forgot about that. Made a CT from basketball. I don't know. But then he's trying to decide between the two girls. I'm like, buddy, I think that's her right there.

Yeah, I think they push, I think they push, I think they push people. I think they script it. She's also a doctor. No, this isn't scripted, B. She's not a doctor, she's a healthcare recruiter. No, she's a doctor. She does?

Yeah, she goes over all of it, yeah. Jesus, all right. Have you seen the show? No. Then shut the fuck up. Oh, do you think it's scripted, Brian? It says healthcare recruiter. Do you think it's scripted?

I'm calling, I'm calling. You don't know what you're talking about. Healthcare recruiter. No, but she has a doctor's smart ass girl. Go ahead and bring that out. Let's take a little break, B. Yeah, people who are losing their hair. Okay, if you're losing your hair. Doesn't mean you can't find it again, dude. And you don't and sometimes you go to the doctor, it's embarrassing and all that stuff. It's expensive. You can go to him's take a picture of your head, send it to a doctor. Five minutes later, you have your prescription. Your prescription is on its way.

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See website for full details and important safety information. Let's take a look at this. Go ahead. Have you seen the show? So this is called Waste of Time. Let's take a look at it, see if Virginia's a doctor, I want to know.

Go ahead. Now, by the way, By the way, you're bringing up something interesting because there's one of the great, phenomenal show is, is there's a show on, I think it's Netflix, on bringing up,

hold on up Hold on Hold on you guys just keep talking there's an amazing show on I think it's Netflix on the choosing of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and The how hard that is to make it like what the how like these these girls are high-level dancers Dude, it's so good. That show came out a while ago. Oh, it did? It's like five seasons in. Is it? Yeah.

Is it? Yeah. Well, it's very good. I watched the newest season and it's damn good. This is from Reddit, by the way. Yeah, she is a doctorate. She's not a doctor. Yeah, but still, she's a doctor still. That's a big doctor. Yeah, but still she's a doctor still.

That's a big deal actually. She's a PhD. So yeah. Hey, PhD is not the same. So yeah, but it's still a doctor. No, I didn't say she's a doctor. Right. She's a doctorate.

She's very educated and she's an MBA dancer. She told this dude. Dude, that's a big deal. Yeah, she's a smart girl. She has a doctorate in psychology. In the first two minutes she tells this dude, I'm like, buddy buddy You don't need eyes to see how hot she is dance in Bay leader has a doctorate Yeah, how's her shit together pick her? I'm in and then he's trying to decide between two girls The one girl's like he's like is there anything I should know and she's not attractive and I'm like man

Hopefully he figures out because her voice isn't bad. I'm like, hopefully he figures it out and she goes well There's something I just need to get off my chest, You know, she grew up super religious. And then she's like, I kind of was trying to find myself. I found like, I'm just attracted to the soul. I like that, John, like, watch this. She's into chicks. And she goes, so, you know, I dated a woman for a while. And he goes, oh, and she goes, your last relationship was a woman. She goes, yeah. And he's religious. He can tell he's like, she's going to hell. But he's just like, oh, he's trying to play it cool because he knows his cameras.

He goes, oh, that's interesting. He goes, so your last relationship was with a woman? She goes, yeah, and then he goes, but if we got married, would you still be into women? The answer's, of course. Of course, that just doesn't go away. And she goes, well, no, I'm attracted to the person I'm with and he was like check

Please yeah, I'm like you figure it out. Yeah figure NBA dancer doctorate Maybe maybe more like the show but maybe for the show you have to they do that No, he can't tell me you got to watch the show so you know what the fuck you're talking about No, but I'm saying I watch the show in the scenes They probably tell him no because good with the they what they might do is the way they edit it Maybe I had that talk way earlier and then they show it so it's this conflict a little bit of that You get they sit down for hours and talk Yeah, because most guys would be like this like start talking tell me what just just give me so what do you what do you do?

What did you what did you you know basketball? What do you do? Who am I playing the lesbian? No, you're the hot girl. Oh yeah, I dance in the NBA team. Yeah, I'd be like, oh, show's over, I'm in. Oh no, I'll marry her right now. I'll marry her right now. I choose you. The producer, so this is the prom, this way you stay single, you keep choosing.

I'd go, yeah, no doubt. Well, I'm still picking her though. That's fine, but can you just kind of play along for the next three weeks? Sure. Sure, whatever you want, but I'm picking her. Yeah, that's's how it goes. Yeah.

Although some guys would be into it. You're into girls. Really? A lot of guys are. I've had friends. No, no, no. These guys are looking for a, they're not for wifey. Not for wifey.

I love when my friends are like, dude, she's bi. Okay. Okay. All right. That means she's going to cheat on you, but. Or, or she's just saying that to you because you're into it. Yeah. But you don't, yeah, you but you don't want the mother of your child being into chicks on the side.

Unless I could watch, you know what I mean? I'm not into that. Then I'd be mad. Me and my girl were talking about this, like foreplay, I think when they dress up like cosplay, I think that's for ugly people. Eh. Because if your girl's hot enough, I told Joanna, I said, I said, if you walked in with

a nurse's outfit, first of all, I would just start laughing. Like, what the fuck are you doing? And I told her, and she goes, you don't know. I go, no, hold on, hold on. You know me, I know you. You'll never grow up with me. If I dressed up as a doctor, if we're getting hot and heavy, I'm like, hold on, give me a second.

And I came out of the bathroom dressed as a fucking weak ass doctor uniform. I go, you wouldn't laugh, that's not a turn on. You wouldn't laugh your ass off. She goes, I could not stop laughing. I go, exactly. I said, it's usually for people, or I said, or it's like some people have their significant other,

like wear a wig. I go, can you imagine if I went, babe, it's just not doing it for me. Can you get some wigs? I went, that it's just not doing it for me, can you get some wigs? I went, that just means you're not cutting it anymore, man. I get it. They're trying to spice it up or something. If we've been together 60 years and your hair's all gray,

I'm like, can you buy a red wig, that's different. But if we're under 50, and I have to ask you to dress like a chameleon or what the fuck, or a cat woman, hey man, you're just not getting these rocks off. I know a guy who had a girlfriend who wanted her, she, they would do this thing where he would break into the house with a mask on. She's not hot enough. Yeah. If I, if I have to dress up, Oh, go to the gym. Oh buddy.

That's her way of saying you're not attractive anymore. Can you dress up as the hamburger? I'm like, what are we doing? Role playing is never, yeah. I've never understood it. Even lingerie, like if your girl's bad enough, just undies and tea and we're good to go. I've had girls like, the other thing I could never understand,

I had a girl like, be like, do you like whipped cream? Do you like some food? No, no, I like it on pie. Yeah, I like it on pie. Unless you have a fucking pumpkin. If I fucking genitals, I don't give a fuck. Are we doing unless you have a pumpkin pie? Keep it to yourself. I mean, what are you gonna get me all sticky? What's that movie in eight and eight and a half weeks or no varsity

blues where she puts all over tits? Yeah. Same lady and lamb in nine and a half weeks to they're like pouring food all over. I'm like, oh God. I don't get in. What, ice cream? Like get out of here. No, if your girl's hot enough, you don't need food, you don't need wigs. I don't need to dress up as a burglar.

It all takes care of itself. Maybe if like you're doing, maybe if the girl's like, I don't know. What? Here, I'm gonna put chocolate syrup on my nipples. Donnie, no, we've talked about this. Mickey Rourke has had some work done, poor guy. Look at Mickey Rourke. What? Here, I'm gonna put chocolate syrup on my nipples. No, Donnie, no. We've talked about this. Mickey Rourke has had some work done, poor guy. Oh yeah.

Look at Mickey Rourke. No, no, no. What did he do to himself? No, we've been over that. Oof. We've been over that. Oof. All of them up there.

Vanity, dude. Fillers, oh God. Yo, can you imagine, you wouldn't be able to take yourself serious. Your girl's like, hey, do you mind dressing up as a construction worker? I'd be like, okay. Ah. Dude you I wouldn't get out of the bathroom without laughing like there's gonna be no boner no there's no bone I'd be like this is

stupid can we just zero boner no okay we gotta get him out yeah get him out kick him out what are you doing what are you doing to yourself Jane can you take that off so Brian gets over it? What's up? Can you make your work off so Brian quits focus on it? What happens to people? You've been on the show way too long. The wire in here.

Donnie said, fuck your wires. Literally just stomp. I like that little dog. That dog's kind of fierce. Yeah, he thinks he's a King Corso. He's going to find out he's not. There's a lot of people out there who, like, I don't know, star works star war Oh, sorry star wars geeks, and they're like I want to know what it's like to bang princess land sure your girls Not hot enough sure you wish your girls princess land or she might or you might like that look

Princess laughs and a buns on the ears yeah The ones that get me are the furries I The ones that get me are the furries. I don't even think that's real. Actually, I don't even think. I've seen people. I know they're there. I know they do it. No, they fuck.

I'm sure. I had a buddy that was asked to do it. I think that, I really think that they just like being in this thing and they pretend to be that way, but I actually don't think that's what turns them on. It's just a community. It's another community and it's a thing they can act like this is what I'm into and I'm like, I don't think so. I don't believe it.

They probably sweat their ass out in there. I have skeptical hippo eyes on all of this dumb shit. I'm like, really? I know you have conventions, that's great. Just a way to meet you. Dude, if I ask my girl, can you put on the Chuck E. Cheese mouse uniform so I can fuck you?

It's like, you just got with the one. Your girl's no nonsense. She's just traditional. She'd be like, excuse me. She'd be like, what's wrong with you? Do you need a doctor? Yeah, like she's. And I would go, I do.

If I asked you to put on a mouse outfit, so I get turned on, something weird is going on there dude. Of course something's weird. Yeah. I have a huge thing for Hugh Jackman, but at the same time, like, if some dude came into the room wearing a Wolverine mask, I'd just start laughing.

Yeah. Well it's okay to be attracted to Hugh Jackman, but if your boyfriend doesn't make you want to jump his bones, he's just the wrong one. You have a problem. If he has to dress up and cut his hair like Wolverine, you got problems, man. You got problemos.

If he's like, what? And you're like, is there any way he could just, and then grow the chops out? Like, what the fuck? Yeah. Well, that's like this person who's delivering a baby to the nurse. And the whole family's in there.

And they pull that baby out and put it on her chest. And it's black. And she had been to the Dominican Republic and she goes, that's not my baby, that's not my baby, that's not my baby. That's your baby. And they go, well, it's attached to your, the umbilical cord is still attached.

Yeah, we didn't do a swap out. That's your baby. And- To show the dad? And everybody walked out slowly. The whole family was like, ooh. And they all kind of strolled out, and the dad just went, I hope the Dominican Republic

was fun, and he left too. And they were all like. Hey, hey, where'd you see this? I read it. But I'm sure that happens. I'm sure it's happened before. You know? I'm sure it's happened.

Can you imagine that, dad? Huh? You'd be like, literally, one of the biggest days of my life, you fucking whore. Well one one woman No, imagine the high no one. There's nothing even talked about you just like oh well, this is over right? So everything we've built is over. Well, that's what happens one woman or you get smart like Dominican Play baseball. Oh spray athletic. Oh, there's a lot of, there's a lot of, I have a few questions before I decide to leave. What do you look like? How tall? How fast?

Does he have any background in baseball? Good questions, sir. We'll figure this out. Good questions. Accidents happen. That's it. If you let me, if you let me mold this kid into Juan Soto, we're good. I'm right with you.

I'm right with you on this. That'd be my first. I'm not like, my genetics are just okay. They're just okay. They're just okay. If she's been in the American public with some guy who is with with um what the hell is his name? Um oh fuck. Who was married to uh JLo. Um A-Rod. Alex Rodriguez or something like that. I mean hey man man, we got a shot here Yeah, but depends how hot she is cuz she's not pulling an a rod chances are like he

He was the guy that Did this what is that? Well, they don't have taxi so you get on the pedal bikes Hey, the rickshaw. He's a rickshaw guy in the Dominican Republic of like good cardio there are none of those guys Thailand god damn it don't insult the dr like that Fuck man, he'd be on a scooter. He'd be on a moped There's a lot of more she's like you you've seen those alligator tours, right? I'm like, yeah She's like he's the tour guide Alligator now that would be that where I'd be like really. Oh, that's why I'm really Fuck I can't believe you did this some if he's some stud baseball player

She's like I was drunk. Do you know one song? I'm like, yeah, she's like it was his brother He's supposed to be the number one draft picker like Okay, hold on. Hold on. Listen. I'm looking at glass half full Okay, hold on. Hold on. Listen, I'm looking at glass half full here. Me too. You see how black for me is a one-time thing? Yeah. Okay. I mean, I would literally, I'm not leaving my wife over that. We're still calling Brendan Jr., right? 100%. And we don't tell him about any of this. Oh boy. Is this the one, Brian? No.

Ah, okay. That is, that is, that is that is Incredible so my family's going vile for birth It's a picture of two widest fuck people and a very that actually could be like Oh, no, that's a she seems fine No, he's his eyes are so hurt Family's going vile for the birth of a beautiful baby boy happens to be black But the mom and dad are both white and people online think something strange is going on Yeah, man. Yeah, my baby though in the beginning my my my last Casey looked a little bit a little bit

Philip no cuz we were when I was look like I was with Yosef and Tarek and my buddy VJ it's a big handsome black guy and we were, Yosef was like, did a video of looking at him and looking at my baby, looking at him. It was, it was very funny, but my baby looked like he could have had some, but now it's a cute kid. Very cute kid.

Well, that's different than this, right? That's amazing. That's actually, yours is silly, right? That's a black baby. Those are two white people. Paul is the father. Rachel has African-American DNA. Ah, okay. That's a black baby. Those are two white people. Yes. Paul is the father. Rachel has African-American DNA.

Ah. Okay. That's all a lie. All good. Dude, if you're her, you're like, dear God, Dexter this thing and make sure that he has a 0.1% chance of having a black baby. So one woman did some math and she said, she realized she had had sex with a guy. And so the baby was coming, but she, hold on, yeah, she had sex with-

She looked at that guy nine months ago, probably had sex that same week, so it looked like it was that- No, it was like a couple months. So what happened was her husband, she knew the timing wouldn't make sense to her husband because she was pregnant, but she knew she was pregnant. She'd gotten pregnant three or three months before, two months before. So what she did.

So she cheated on her husband? Or I'm sorry? She cheated on her husband? Yes. So what she did is she went to the doctor and said, you have to induce me. I'm actually 10 months. Oh wow.

And they, they induced her and it was dangerous because she wasn't ready to have that baby. He had a preemie. So she had a preemie just to make sure that the husband didn't get suspicious. That's where you run into some fucking problems. Did it work out or? I don't know, I guess.

Who the fuck knows? But by the way, yeah, if she's like, listen, I got good news, I got bad news. Bad news, cheated on you at the DR. Now, I was drunk, I was on Molly, and maybe I wasn't even on that, but here's what he looked like. And you just see some dude who's, you know.

Just waiting for the opportunity. He's like 6'6". 6'6", you know, fucking like super athlete. I'd be like, I kind of get it. I'm really mad at you right now. I'm really mad at you, but I kind of get it. And now my kid is going to be super athletic and taller than me by the time he's fucking 13 now my kid is going to be super athletic and taller than me

by the time he's fucking 13. That kid's going to turn 16 and be like, I got some questions. It's going to be a hard conversation. I'm still raising him, though. I'm still going to raise him. What are you going to do, walk out on the kid? Oh, it's not mine yet. Are you serious?

Yeah, it's not mine? Now I'm going to start my life with somebody else who's not going to be a whore. Unless you had kids with her before. had three kids with her before and now you're going to walk out. What do you do? Right? That's tough. Now the kids have a brother. It's like, you know what? This shit happens. Sometimes as a man or as a human being, take the owl, eat some crow and just,

just lose that one. Sometimes you lose a couple. That's a big one. Is that fair? That's big. I don't think that's fair. I think you show your kids that their mom's a whore and you restarted life through hard work. And don't just eat crumb. You show your kids mom's a whore? Yeah, like your mom giant whore.

Well it's gonna come out, right? So what you have to do is you have to say yeah we're on a break. Eventually your kid looks like Francis Ngono at 12 and the rest of the kids are eating shit And the official story would be like we broke up for a year She got together with somebody had a kid and then we got back together. That's what I was saying It depends how old the other siblings. Yeah, if they're young enough, I'd be like we adopted him. Oh, there you go

Yeah, you could do that too. We would die. Only the kid will have her yeah, but that that they'll find the kids Not gonna look like the mom. No, they won't. They couldn't destroy all records. It's a lifelong lie. You're a disaster. The worst of it was twins. All these things have happened in history, right? Oh yeah. These things have happened.

We're talking about it's happened. It's happened. Let's take another little break. This podcast is brought to you by Stash. Saving investing can feel impossible, overwhelming, but with Stash, it's just a reality. It's easy, Brian. And Stash isn't just an investing app. It's a registered investment advisor that combines automated investing with dependable

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Sure. But you know, it is what it is. I think you're the perfect candidate for it. Me? Yeah. Whatever do you mean? Just cause you're kind of that easy, like, I don't think you're that.

I'm easy going guy. I'm easy going guy. Yeah. I don't stay mad. Yeah, and you have that cuck personality where you're like, yeah, it's kind of hot. And I get it. My most guys would probably murder a bitch, right? You're going to see glass half full.

I'm like, maybe he's an athlete and having no clue who the dad is. Right. Probably a TSA worker in your head. You think it's Alex. So it's a TSA worker now to chance. It was a Rick Shaw guy now TSA worker. And I'm on my Tesla. When I have all these

Thoughts yeah, why you you're just a perfect candidate. Why are you turning me into a huge cock like that? Well, you said he said it's not but I like sometimes it's okay to take L's like bud There's L's and then there's just bad decisions. That's a bad. Sometimes you got it. You got a jump ship Yeah, if your wife fucks another dude on a trip and gets pregnant, it's not an L. That is not an L, Brian. No, that's a disaster. Is that a catastrophe? That's life-changing decisions, dude. I'm trying to remedy the situation. How do you even fix that? You got a therapy, I guess?

You take the kids that are yours and move the fuck out. You got to do it, I guess. That's the price you pay, right? Yeah, it's going to affect the whole fam. Yeah. Plus that kid, if it is some super athletes kid, now that kid grows up and is crushing, getting all the attention.

It throws off the whole family dynamic. Meanwhile, your kids are, you know, just crying. Your kids are like 5'10". They're like, oh kids are, you know, just your kids are like five, 10. They're like, Oh, yeah. Driving for Uber and shit. Like, God damn it. Your older brother making place for the Texas rangers. $150 million contract.

Go ask your brother for a long, go ask your half brother for a long, ask your half brother, it'd be a disaster. Disaster. Fuck. Hopefully you never experienced it, buddy. What else you got, Jen? I have four kids. I have. Wait, you guys gave me advice on like when I was, well, we give you advice.

Yeah. You said like, if I dated a freak, right? What you actually about a whore? No, just freak. A freak. Oh, well, she's a freak in the sheets, but lady in the streets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Okay, but you guys both told me this if I dated a freak I'm like if I do end up marrying her you're like, yeah She's gonna change for you if you end up marrying her if she's the right way Yeah, but then you said just right now if she's bisexual which I've dated Bisexuals before but you're saying like she's gonna cheat on you No, I stand by that I see so now Brendan saying that no well when I said when I said freak I wasn't talking about some trans whore constantly sucking pussy that's not a freak that's too much okay yeah we keep

that in I don't know listen hold on I believe the trans I'm saying this I'm saying I'm saying if she's been around the block before you You buy the car. That's okay, and then in the bedroom. She's pleasing you she's good at it right Yep, that's fine. My question is this I'm gonna make a call hold on I'm gonna finish a woman is a if a woman's a freak okay? Yeah, I mean she's a freak with everybody It's chance are if she's a freak with you it She's a freak with you cuz she's into you. Well, she feels comfortable. Yeah, but I yeah I think we need to find free care. So let me tell you your cut tenets I told you I told you how the guy goes. What do you we were talking about freaks bed

They ever tell you what he said. What guy this guy? He's an actor and he goes he goes Well, what do you mean freak? Like does he hold a bag open while you shitting it? Yeah, see there's levels. Hey, we're all like, what? Yeah, but there's levels. And then he has army hammer and he's like, yeah, I'm gonna eat her thigh.

You're like, well, okay. Some of these things are a little much. There's levels. I wanna drink her blood. Like my definition of a freak, Jen, is she's open to anything in the bed She's had some experience before but she's not like cheating on you. No, no, no, so my early on I for whatever reason

bisexual girls You know, I did ended up dating bisexual girls one of them had three-way sex with someone right? Oh, yeah, two two people yeah two guys I didn't I didn't ask her who was right and and she was also bisexual and she did and she wanted to fuck peg me oh yeah right so she's a freak but she's also she was also super cool and awesome but I'm like I can't you can you marry someone like that no that's too much of a freak, right? I don't know about that. No, I can. You think they're gonna change once they marry you? If she's into that, I'm not into that. I'm not into getting pegged. Well, Brian, I do it. No, I wouldn't do it. You've done it. I won't have anything in my butt. But here's the thing. I got no real legitimate like argument with her about being pegged. She's like, you don't understand you're gonna you're gonna like it. I'm like, no, I'm not gonna like it.

No, I know. I don't want to shit in my fucking ass. No, I would say that to me, yeah, that's interesting. Maybe she's really into that. That's what I'm saying. But you said I could marry someone they're gonna change. No, no. My definition came based off the there's different levels of freak. Yeah. All right. You don't want a freak where it's over the top and she's pegging, obsessed with pegging.

But that's way back. And then she's gonna be, because the chances are she kind of a great mom and she's obsessed with pegging You know a great mom, but yeah, what I'm saying is if you can't satisfy her sexually cool-ass girls But you may not be able to satisfy her sexually because pegging and that stuff is what she's into right? So it's just not for you I knew a girl who I was a freak and we used to she was in the up for everything I was a freak and she was up for everything. But she wanted me to have sex with my buddy Jimmy. She wanted to see, and I was like, listen to me right now.

This is how it is. I joke around. I am as straight as it gets. I'm never making out with a dude or I'm just not going to do it because I'm just not into it. I just can't do it. So you know what? That's not Brian's person. What?

That's not your person. It's not my person. She's like demanding, like she wants to get off of you fucking your body. She wanted to see me with another guy. And I'm like, and she couldn't understand how I wouldn't do it. I was like, oh, you don't understand.

I'm fucking straight. No, it's just not your person. I'm not doing it. It's just not your person. Like, you're my, you and I are very close.. I'm not doing it. It's just not your person like you're my we are very close You gave you and I were on all the Molly I'm never gonna be like It's not our DMA No, no if a girl demand that only we could be together it's just not right

Why are you looking at me? It's not our you wish playboy. It's just not it's not your person. It's just yes I don't know if there is someone for her Oh, there are probably guys that like to get picked and there are but none looking those are guys that are good No, yes, but none looking for the same thing. You're looking for a chin. Yeah, I want to just a regular wife Yeah, just a regular girl. Yeah, I probably stop hanging out those there is a very famous actor who dated my friend who Was into that name names. I will not but he was because I like him and he's also now I don't give a very famous actor and I went and he had a weird one. She said yeah

He was in the butt stuff. She was like back in the day Don't you guys have like a g-sp spot there? Isn't that the whole point of it? Yeah, but I'm not, you're not putting on a scrap on and putting it in my dong dong, in my little mud whistle. I don't know. No, some guys are into it. No, we know, no we know.

Listen, I don't wanna do it, but from what I hear, there is a spot in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what my, like. Her argument probably was. Yes, her was like, you don't understand how good it feels. I'm like, I don't give a fuck I don't want this when I was 28 there was a girl who didn't even know that well and I she went down on me right there in

my apartment right on Navy Street and she took her like a double and took her fucking toward that fucking held thumb and stuck it right up my ass and I had I did not feel that nail she had done this this a lot. She was like a nurse. I was like, so yeah, but again, that's a whole thing for me. It's like, I don't know, man, even I'm even a, even I think it's different. If you're looking for like an extra to someone to start a life with the, that's probably not that level of intensity. That's, that's exactly why I asked you the question,

I don't know, a few months back. You're like, if she's a freak, but when you get married, she can change her way. Level of freak has to be defined. And she's also a great person. I just don't fucking, it's so. But if she has that urge all the time, that's not gonna go away.

No, no, I don't know. I can please her. That's why I don't know. I don't know if that urge is always there. For me, you, like me, and probably like Brennan, we're probably, I'm pretty conventional. I'm not very freaky, right? Like like like freaky would be like very like me would be like, oh ain't oh, yeah I don't know. I'm not yeah. I don't know what else like I don't know what else people want to do

Like well, like that's exhausting like, you know, I mean if I'm not into all that, which is not a match Yeah, I want to do any of that shit. It just doesn't get me going I know that's some people are into getting beat up tied up all that stuff sadomasoch do all that, we're just not a match. I don't want to do any of that shit. It just doesn't get me going. But some people are into getting beat up, tied up, all that stuff. Sato masochism, all that shit. What if she was the hottest girl you've ever seen, but her thing was just whooping your ass before sex? Like how? Like she had to tie you up and beat the shit out of you.

To me, that's not as freaky though. There are people who like that. But it gets her off. No, I'm saying to me, that's not as crazy as yeah what does you know? Well, there are a lot of you know a lot of money for that. You know what it is It's just a what what are you talking people? It's exhausting No, but people just be exhausted people have I wouldn't want to do it. No, it's not but it really gets her off That's not the craziest thing to me like people have to hear those. Wait, wait, you have kids

There's no time to fucking get all this equipment out. So kids nap for 10 minutes. I just want a regular grill, man. There's no time for whipped cream and fucking dryers and shit. What are you doing? No, no, no. You're not going to put a ball gag in my mouth. We don't have time for this.

Oh my god. I can't imagine. But everybody has their weird kids. You're not going to get out a strap on and beg me? We have 10 minutes. I gotta clean the pipes out. That's it, that's it. 10 minutes by the way, and that's a long time.

10 minutes. King's... 10 minutes is too long. That's the only one. No, that's the other thing. 10 minutes is an eon. 10 minutes is not perfect to me. Yeah, that's a lot.

10 minutes is two rounds of UFC fight. That's so long. I don't wanna do anything for 10 minutes. I don't like running for longer than 10 minutes. 100%, like, I mean, you know, it's. 10 minutes. All the time. Yeah.

So funny. Let's be honest, man. Yeah, you get older and it's like. It's Honest Monday, yeah, 10 minutes is too long for any. It's Hon get older and it's honest Monday at 10 minutes But people are into weird kinky stuff there's nothing wrong with that. It's just not your person check there's another famous person there's another very famous person a politician a billionaire who dated somebody I know and I know this I know this really well because He and so he was into begging he would make her drink a six pack of coke or a beer

And then she'd have to pee so badly and he would not let her pee He just want to see her anguish and then he should be like, can I please because the social guy go he'd go Yeah. Oh, he's a control freak. Yeah, and then this is news then one time she was a Blown him and he goes look at me and she looked at him and he slapped her really hard on the face But there's a punch in the eye But like he was a guy if you if I ever told you it was you'd be like, oh I get it That guy's in of course. Yeah

Now there's freaks out there. It's just not your person chin. There's nothing wrong with those freaks and they'll find each other That no, that's why I asked you guys because you've i'm you guys have way more experience with like girls Yeah, so that's what I was like asking you. You don't want to listen to us. Oh man Well, no i'm asking you what you've got to do with what feels right dude, like sometimes Well, you know nobody's going to be be perfect but sometimes people might have a kink and Then you work it out and you can say it and then it's like it's like okay I'm not I'm not doing getting I'm not getting I'm not doing I'm not doing that shit So hey the fact that we even had an argument about it like she was really like adamant like you're funny if you still with her

How did she smoke it on? She's yeah, she's dude. I I was obviously she's like she was my girlfriend for a while. So she I was attracted to her, right? How big was his dick? Yeah, she'd have to be a 10 He'd have to be a 10 have to be a 10 for me to even consider having that conversation. No, no I don't know he's out as he had a beer. She could be a 10. I don't give a fuck I'm not getting paid man. Yeah, I don't know if she was a 10 and she's like I just have to do it once. No, he was a guy but he identified as a girl so he wanted to peg. And when you're in a relationship.

Did he drug me so I don't remember? Oh, well, you know, they have a whole tox. You know what that is? Where they shoot They shoot your shitter up with botox. So you can't feel. shoot your shitter up with Botox so you can't feel. Yeah, so you put a little something, you can do that with lidocaine, you put some numbing agent on your shitter. Bro, if I have to do that.

And well guys, like gay guys do that and then they get wrecked. How do you know this part? They go to pound town. Oh my God. But they probably don't feel it though. Hey listen, it feels it when you're way up there though. In them guts?

In them, in them guts in In them good Yeah, I don't know man Hey, man, this conversation is but but how about Love is love is blind like they're finally getting towards relationship and though this really attracted girl and then it's like super innocent guy He they're talking about he was kind of food you like and you get she was like ready to take an x1 She was like ready to take an X that when she was like cream pies And he goes oh yeah like on

You can taste your sinuses like like on pie or something She's like any cream pie and you get to like she's a sexy girl. You can tell like she's talking about Damn, she's talking about dim nuts. She was talking about dim nuts. She was and then he fires. Oh my god. I'm getting hot here I also like cream pies and Joe I was like like banana cream pie. I was like No, no cream pie. She's like, what's a cream pie way? I'll show you You seriously don't like like what the fuck are you talking? I like you've never She buys and watch porn. Yeah. Yeah, so I educated on but when you do that you also out yourself yeah I filled her in though. Yeah filled her in. Oh my god

Pun intended. Hey, man, I'll be here all night. They're all night Before we end this though, I I told you so I dated like Dude, dude, dude, dude. Before we end this though, I told you, so I dated like three girls that were into other girls. So here's the thing, what's going on with that first of all. You got a bad ticker. But secondly, there's one, no, but there's also one girl that she made out with another girl in front of me.

Yeah. But she was, she says she's not bisexual. Mm. That's cool. That's fine. All right. Okay, okay. Are they younger, Chin? This is like when I was, yeah. Are you fine. What are they younger chin? This is like when I was, yeah.

Are you meeting them on the same place? Korean barbecue. Are you meeting them all in the same like kind of general area? Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Korean. What are they?

One was Taiwanese and all my ex-girlfriends are Vietnamese. So yeah, let's get you a white girl. I don't know if Vietnamese are pretty hot. Yeah. Let's take a little break because I want to tell you about True Work and they are hell bent on creating the most technical, high-performance workwear in the world. They sent me some khakis, some Chino workwear pants. Dude, I'm obsessed with them.

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T R U E W E R K not O R K, but E R K. So true work.com slash fighter. That's 15% off at T R U E W E R K.com slash fighter. Yeah, but they're all trying to peg. What's that? Speaking of hot. This is so crazy. did you see this so we saw before like a while ago there's a video of over this last week this is a new one yeah so there's one

that would those a Kyra before but this one's even crazier this is in Chile. He's fucking crazy, dude. Check him out. Completely swallowed by a whale. Oh my God. Yeah, so he spat him out after a little bit. But look, he completely engulfed him. Boom. I mean, that's Jonah right there. Yeah, but as soon as the whale recognized it was not the, you know, food,

he just spat it out. The whale doesn't want to eat him. No. It's not too bad. You just spit him right back out. That's incredible, man. Cool story. Yeah. Yeah, not bad. And the guy, the... Hold on. There's no danger. Hold on. What? The way the innocent whale went like this. That's a big deal. Imagine you got swallowed by a whale, man. Hey, bro, be impressed by that. I'm not. That's unbelievable. He was underwater for three seconds.

It doesn't matter. He got swallowed by a whale. The internet, yeah, it's just not crazy enough for me. It's not enough for him. If it was a great white, now we're cooking with gas. No, no, no, that's insane. And by the way, now I believe that that scuba diver was in the guy's mouth.

I still don't believe that. Because if somebody said I was out kayaking and a whale. Because he's on top of the water was in the guy's mouth. I still don't believe that. Because if somebody said I was out kayaking. Because he's on top of the water, the other guy's under, whales don't do that. But if somebody said I was kayaking and a whale put me in his mouth, all of us would go, you're so full of shit, and he'd have to just... But that got caught on camera. On camera by his dad. Just by some miracle.

His dad was filming him, yeah. I mean... Do we have the audio of the dad yelling? Jonah. Yeah, we do we have audio of the dad yelling? Joan. Yeah, we do, somewhere. Joan. If it plays continuously. I mean, this kid must be like, what?

So if it's not in this video, the dad was saying like, calm down, calm down. Just make sure you get to your boat. Get to your kayak. You seem Pinocchio, calm down. Oh my God. So it's not in this video, but he was, yeah, his dad was yelling at him to calm down. Just make sure you get to your, your kayak. So crazy.

There's no danger involved. There is innocent friendly whale confuses. Cacker. He could have died. Swallows them, spits them out. But he could have taken. That's the beautiful thing about whales. They know they're whales. He don't wear like that. I know know but like He could have gotten in the history of man crush by the mouth of the whale there a thousand things I could have gone wrong in the history of mankind as a whale ever killed a guy by eating them I mean now now probably Never still never it's a scary. They actually jump up and you know, they're like, oh shit and fall near you're dead Like Shamu style. Yeah, that happens. Yeah, it happens. Yeah

So here's a horrific story. I just wanted to bring it up because this is in Korea a teacher who had mental issues Ended up stabbing one of her 8 year old 7 year old students. I don't know. I want to bring this up because it's it's mental issues right so kill that the reason why though yeah no no she's in she's in jail now she'll try to kill herself as well no good did she kill the child um and she her reasoning was because she didn't want to die alone so she just wanted any other victim with her to die because she hated her life So she just wanted any other victim with her to die because she hated her life, so I'm saying like

mental issues get checked out Also, just kill yourself. Yeah, no shit, but I mean they don't drag others in if you ever feel something like this Just get checked out. But if you're gonna do it, just take yourself don't exactly others. You fucking satanic bitch No, there's a special place in hell without that lady's mentally ill or not Yeah, I hope so She's a bad person. I agree. I agree All right, okay Pegged was fun Not just like people shouldn't know like if you have issues mentally

Yeah, but get yourself fucking checked out. And if you're listening to us for advice on your mental health, definitely get checked out. That's right. God damn. Yeah, let's go to that one first. Yeah, I do something happy. I drive from Orange County here, Monday and Wednesdays, and I saw this on the freeway today.

That's so dumb. And actually, while, I I mean I posted it, one of our regular listeners, goes by the name Jeff Money on Instagram, said that they were actually recently in Cincinnati and got kicked out but he knows it's them because of the California place and they have the same sign. So just so everybody knows that the irony of all this is that we're a nation of immigrants, legal immigration is what we're a nation of immigrants, legal immigration is what we should do. Here's the thing too though, like with Europe and with this, because of our demographics,

we will always need immigration. We need good immigration. We need immigrants. Believe it or not, most of the illegal immigrants get absorbed into the construction, agricultural and restaurant industry. To a certain limit though, Brian. You can't have open borders and say everyone's welcome, because other nations don't do that. You're also going based off a time, yes, we're found on immigrants and immigrants were found. Still are.

Still are, but you can't go off rules that were set or laws that were set in the 1800s. Times are different now. I'm not going by rules that are set in the 1800s at all. There has to be some regulation to it. You can't just say all immigrants are great. You can't have a decriminalized border and open border, obviously. I agree. You have to have border control and you also have to have... And you have to limit how many immigrants you have because we can't only take so many.

Why don't other countries take... Hold on, listen. You should also have the kind of immigrants you should take, should also be more skilled, educated and stuff like that. That's why they should be vetted and not over here. But having said that, there are a couple issues that people are not paying attention to. Number one, if you get down to the level of detail versus just the ideology of it all. We do always need, and so does Europe, needs immigration. Obviously, you don't want just an open border. And the problem though is that the irony is, I told you, when Trump was making that wall, the

Sinalon and Chihuahuan desert are very hard to get through, but they built the roads. And then on top of that, when you designate the terrorist, the cartels terrorist organizations, anybody who's been affected by them gets automatic asylum, so that goes into the courts. So it becomes a big fucking mess. So a lot of these things are really like, when you're on the ground having to deal with it,

it becomes a little bit difficult. But having said all that, yes, we cannot have an open border policy. It's ridiculous. It's insane. And that's where the fucking Democrats were wrong. You know, they're breaking the law. Sorry. But, but I do think it's interesting when people are protesting America and the burn American flags and then they have the flags from their country. It's like, if you're so proud of your country, go back, go ahead.

So you're right. So, so if you're going to shut your country, go back. Go ahead, go back. So you're right. So if you're going to shut down the 101, the 405 and throw up Mexican flags or Israeli flags, if it's so great and you have that much pride in where you come from, go back. Correct. Why are you here? Well, so it's way worse in Europe. In Europe, like you have entire towns that are now, and I'll say it, I mean, they are taken over by a lot of Islamic fundamentalists, like young men who are

militant about bringing Sharia law to fucking Paris and Rome and Germany. And it's like, dude, London's out of control, Paris, same thing. Cause it's like, you cannot blame people for, and Ireland too, you can't blame people for saying, excuse me, I don't recognize my own This is this is this is my but that's how this goes So all this we need all these immigrants. It's good to have this all this Okay, you can to a certain extent things have changed up to 25 Typically in this country you assimilate it right away. My family my family they my my mother's parents didn't teach them italian Because they were like you have to learn english first because you have to assimilate, right? And in Europe, you have entire communities that don't

speak a word of English and or that or French or whatever it might be or go to London, go to London. Oh, it's unbelievable. Go to London. Been there many times. That's how this goes. That's how this goes. So if you're going to be nowhere land for everybody, that's how this goes. Let me do you one better though. So not only does that happen, but now if you, if you're going to be, no, we're, we're a land for everybody. That's how this goes. Let me do you one better though. So not only does that happen, but now if you, if you post on social media that you think that this is not a good idea, you get arrested and put in jail. That's how it goes. That's how this ends. So that's how this ends.

So all this pro immigrant, all to a certain extent. Yes. It's also 2025. We have more than enough people. And it doesn't make you racist or, or ethnocentric to say, I think that there is reasonable border policy and there's a way to do this legally and orderly, not this way. And Europe is already, you know what's happening in Europe now, and JD Vance, JD Vance spoke at the UN about this, and they were like all they were like they hated him

They hated of course and he's like well guys you may hate it Your populations are voting in these these sort of right-wing or nationalistic parties of it because they're like I'm losing the identity of my country and then you can say this do whatever you want But this is what happens in Europe. This is what happens. Keep allowing China to buy land. See how it goes? See how it goes, keep doing that shit. Keep putting America second, keep helping everybody else.

Watch how it goes. Because a country is about its values and its culture, and especially its values and its laws. What else you got, Jen? Well, guys. This is interesting. Kanye and Bianca, no official word, but divorce is looming around the corner.

She's about to do a tell-all, too, saying what kind of shit she's been through. Why, because she didn't want to be with a guy who puts a Nazi. So here's the thing. You guys remember I told you one of my dear friends is Kanye's agent, has been for the past five months. Kimmel.

Agent or manager? Agent. Kanye's agent, has been for the past like five months. Kimmel... Agent or manager? Agent. He's had no, Kanye's had the same manager for 32 years. He's still with him? He's still with him. Gangster. The agent left and Kimmel posted this agent's tweet and said, effective immediately, I am

no longer representing ye FKA Kanye West due to his recent and harmful hateful remarks that myself or 33 and West cannot stand for peace and love to all. Basically, Bianca has had enough from what I've heard. The outfit, by the way, she wore, the see-through one was her idea, not Kanye's. So it's not like she's being totally mine, you know, messed with, but there's no preen up here, guys.

Yeah, she'll make some money, but it's not gonna to be half his wealth. Because that's all money he made before he met her. Right. That's all it takes. Yeah, she got with him during the crazy period, so probably not a ton of money on the books. She'll get some where she'll be okay. Also, with their marriage too, remember there's no official thing. So who knows even with that, you know, if it's actually, um, a legal binding marriage

by California, cause we didn't see any of that. Remember? They wish we were told they got married. So I bet Kanye was smart with that. Kanye knows he's like, I just don't know when I, this guy just needs to take a break. He needs to go, go away for a trip. You know? Yeah. That's, that, go away for a bit. Go on a trip, you know? Yeah.

That's, that's one I got for you. Um, the next one I have for you. Oh, mine won't pull up. It was right after. So the four nations hockey tournament was this weekend. So Brian, what this is, is instead of having an original, like NHL all star game, um, youL All-Star game, you know, the committee got together and picked four nations with like the best, like most amount of players to pretty much just go on against each other.

It's awesome. It's so raw. Where the NBA's fucking Cuckville, the NFL's complete bullshit. They do a skill challenge thing. So the other leagues, MLB still does it, right? But everybody, all the other major leagues with all-star and Pro Bowl It's just become this mockery of what it used to be. It used to mean a lot. Okay, what why why is it? Because today's stars don't want to risk, you know, there's the don't so back in the day Michael Jordan did the dunk contest

Vince Carter did the dunk contest all you would get you get one Of course you get see Alan Iverson versus Michael Jordan in the fucking All-star games and Kobe Bryant remember this Kobe Bryant against might have been MJ or I forget who he's guarding He full-court pressed him during the All-Star game. That's how competitive it was now these new Soft-ass basketball players. They it's just a mockery. They let him junk. They don't compete So they don't want to get hurt or just no, they're just bitch. No, they're just soft. they don't compete. Cause they don't want to get hurt or it doesn't matter. No, they're just soft. They don't care. So the ratings have tanked.

The Pro Bowl tanked. That means nothing now. Really? All-Star means nothing. Because the Pro Bowl guys won't play in it pretty much? Or they just won't? It doesn't matter. What do they care?

They won't let them do anything. So they turn to the skill challenge. So the ratings are completely down. So NHL goes, okay, cool. This is what we're going to do. So now, and these games don't count on the record. So now you do USA versus Canada. Wow.

Well, the Canada audience booed the national anthem. So our USA players go, oh, fuck around, find out. So they fought three times in nine seconds and beat the fuck out of them. Oh, and hockey. And hockey. Canada. Canada, you like hockey, right? Very cool.

Check this out. And we beat the shit out of them. Can you play the clip? Which ones? America. And what's cool is these two brothers that fought, their dad back in the day fought. Mark Lemieux.

Yeah, the Contra. In the first 30 seconds. This is two minutes into the game because they were booing the national anthem. Two seconds in. Two seconds. Soon as the game started. And it's two brothers. Two brothers who are fighting.

No, no, no. The two brothers are the ones that caused the fights. They're on the same team. Look at this. America. And this is insane. This is Canada America What to be hard to find on skates now?

Now what you picture this picture this the what these guys are doing an exhibition game and LeBron sat out the All-Star game Because he had swellness of the ankle. Yeah swelling swelling not like us, sir Not like us. I love hockey. And so. Look at him. That's his brother going, get him. The chirping is so good. Get him. And then his brother, five seconds later,

starts the other fight. Dude. And we get them high fiving each other. And USA won, by the way. And moved on. And yes, they moved on. I think they play. Sweden?

Was it Sweden or Finland I'm not a hockey fan but I am now fuck man do they start booing the national anthem you see the play and I see them booing oh you see the players like listen it's in the you can just see sheer like pissed off they're like oh hell no they did that in when I what they did that when Floyd Mayweather fought Ricky Hatton and we're in Vegas and they were, all the Brits were booing the national anthem. Well, you saw how that ended for him. Oh yeah, I was high. You have flat line.

Yeah, you don't want to boo the national anthem. No. Because don't get a twist, I know the media is showing media showing this woke like soft shit. That's really not America Now Canada's now now Trump's gonna see this you're gonna fuck around and lose your nation cuz what turn you're into the 51st state bitch And we have that power Now I can Canada's our friend. I Mean this ran by that's just good. That's just good. That's good fucking that's just good. Oh, I love hockey

Yeah, that's different when you boo a national anthem. We know that's terrible, but then I did try to watch No, Philly would never boo the national ever never never never that's never happened right in the history of sports What happened once you go back up? This is my next one. Oh my god So this tourist was in Turks and Caicos and lost both of her hands So you tell me this is it more interesting the guy getting swallowed by the harmless whale? That is so awful. She was a 55 year old woman, snorkeling, and tried to engage with the shark in the shallow waters

and that shark said, no thank you, give me your hands. Holy shit, that's horrible. That's so horrible. She tried putting her hands in his mouth? I think maybe that, I don't know. She probably tried to take a picture and it bit her. It was a bull shark? Who knows?

Losing both your hands is an awful thing. Identity, ugh, they haven't identified. Especially at 55. And she was only a few yards off shore. Hey, we know it's your golden years. We're gonna take those hands, right? Oh, man, that's so awful. Fuck around when stupid play stupid games with stupid prizes I can't have two shows both your fucking hands to a shark. That's kind of an IQ test. Oh, yeah

It's like the guy who lost his hand. I'm with you Ben. He lost his fingers pinky. It's an IQ test Yeah, I'm with you in that well like if that was your wife and you're like what the fuck happens You think there's a shark. I tried brushing his teeth. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah happens She probably tried to take a picture. It said had one arm amputated below the wrist and the other halfway up the forearm Flown back to Canada for more treatment See what happens when you boo the national anthem? Oh my god. I bet you that shark was American. Might have been an American shark lady. Caicos.

Wow. She was trying to take a picture with the shark. Swam up the American Gulf. Got there. That's a wild animal dude and it'll bite you right quick. Well yeah you can't try to high five a shark. No. In the face. No. What do they tell you to punch it in the nose? Is that even real? That's my favorite sure You're gonna punch on water never have no once impossible. I don't go go for their eyes and gills You're gonna get fucked up. You go for the eyes and gills. Yeah That's your only hope. You know what it is. It's hopeless

But what you don't do is try to fucking fist the mouth of a shark. Yeah Hmm I'd be so disappointed if Joanna did that. In the last book, I'd be so mad at her. Well, you can't, you can't do anything without hands. It's a disaster. It is such a disaster. Better get it with them feet. I'd rather lose my feet than my hands. Brent, you, of course, cause you gotta wipe your ass and everything no no but then even like when you have like you can get like you know prosthetics and stuff to do oh yeah like that guy goes hands are so important hands are

the most yeah you can't let's get the robotic legs yeah remember that cool video you showed of that guy with the AIR what do you remember he kept doing this with the AIR I don't know we got a buddy who had his hand and leg ripped off from a tiger shark and he was cool. Oh, that's Paul DeGelder. Yeah. He seems to be crushing it. But I mean, your hands are so important. Like you need your hands, man. Like, legs you can get away with. Yeah, in fact. Couple more for ya. Um, dude, more and more women are just coming out about Justin Tucker and

inappropriate sexual behaviors in massage parlors. You're all about to learn the difference between a kicker and a quarterback. And because he's gonna get kicked off the team so fast and Watson made more money after his allegations. Yeah. Because he was a skilled quarterback at the time. Now he sucks but at the time he's really good. And by the way, he's only missed eight career extra points. So Dancer he's really good. Yeah. But these are old allegations, but it does say

there's two parlors that literally banned him. Damn. He kept going. Damn thing. But I can, you don't think you have a pro. He clearly has a real problem. If you get banned from a massage parlor. Yeah. Like you can't pull your dong out But was it well you can a certain once he was going to like massage your envy and doing it though Isn't it? Isn't he supposed to be super Catholic too? Yeah, that's how that goes They're trying to be a not great. You go to you go to church to confess

He's got a problem 16 Great that's he sees at the tail end of his career too. Is he? Yeah, so he's got a problem. 16? Not great. At least he's at the tail end of his career too. Is he? Yeah. So he's got money? He's a kicker, but he's one of the best pro baller. Yeah, but he's going to be dealing with lawsuits now.

Oh yeah. Yeah, he can't be doing that, man. I got two more for you. One is about our good friend, Jeff Dye. And Jeff Dye has an opinion on Sarah Hyland. And he's like, I'm not afraid to talk about my opinions. And we love him for that. There's a little clip we can play here.

Yeah. Let me start off by saying, I was just doing a podcast and then they asked me about acting and show business. I have no interest in ruining Sarah Highland's reputation. It seems like she's doing a great job of that on her own. I've seen thousands of text messages and emails of people being like, thank God you said something. She's so mean. I've seen her here. She did this. She's like, she's not a great lady. I'm not trying to be mean.

Maybe she just had a bad three days in a row while we were working together. But when I met her, I mean, the entire time I was there, I love him so much. He's awesome. We live in a system. And when I say we, I mean, Hollywood, show business, actors, comedians, musicians, where we're in this little bubble and we're afraid to say anything bad about the director. We're afraid to say anything bad about this. Maybe she just had a bad three days. Women can be douchebags, right? She's a great example of it.

And stars can be very rude. I think it's okay to say these things. I'm not afraid. Sarah Hyland's never gonna help me anyway. So who cares? I don't care. Me calling out Sarah as being a tyrant on the set, everyone have been like, oh my gosh, what are you doing? That's so mean to say that. I'm like, no, I'm saying she's mean and she should be held accountable for her meanness. And I think that honesty wins nowadays.

And I'm really happy that honesty wins and it's showing. You do know that what this does mean is when you're on set and you're working, that you've gotta be on, now you've gotta be on your best behavior at all times because there are gonna be people who are looking out you know what I'm a nice guy and he is the nicest guy yeah the cool I did a show with with William Chatter Henry Winkler Terry Bradshaw and George Foreman called better late than never

and I think I was the only guy I know I was the only talent who could tell you the name first and last name of everybody on the call sheet from camera Operator to director to like we should be good people no matter what field we're in We can't just be rude and surround ourselves with backup dancers and gay guys who only Can I see who Sarah Highland is our From Modern Family. You know who she is. The oldest girl. That's her? Yeah.

Well, this is how you learn when you're in show business and you've been famous for a little too long. It is weird though, because with Jeff, I feel like the first two minutes you meet him, you're intimidated, but then when you see how he interacts with anybody, he's so nice. He's a star waiting to happen, how he interacts with anybody, he's so nice. He's a star waiting to happen first of all.

Like, I love, oh, he's the best. I love how he's like, maybe she's had a bad three days when I was on set. She might've been, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe she was attracted to him. Who the hell knows? Like, who wouldn't be, you know? And my last one for you guys, Elon Musk has welcomed his 13th child. Talk about cream pies. Yeah, this is interesting, and this girl put him on blast because she's clearly looking for attention and there's a whole thing here. But you're the one who got pregnant with Elon Musk's kid

and you're getting a lot out of this, a lot as in money and everything else. See, she's not going bad on Elon or complaining. She was just like, the media's gonna release it, I'd rather do it on my own. Oh, this is something different, I'm so sorry. Yeah, you're way off. No, she's like the media, You're right, you're right, 100%.

where there's smoke, there's fire, before they tell the side of the story. I did have a baby with Elon, but she didn't go bad on Elon. You're 100% right. Yeah, and if you see here, it says Elon Musk has vowed to take a break from his social media site after a MAGA influencer claimed

to have been given birth to his 13th child. I don't get why he'd take a break. Yeah, I didn't get that either. He probably wasn't, he's going to have, I heard his dad, Elon's dad, talking about him as a father, not father of the year. Of course not. No, you can't do all the-

Get a nanny for everybody. No, you can't do all that he's doing and be a good dad He's can't their own nanny. You can't use there's certain things. You can't do you can't do both She can be a great dad show up to practice go to all their games and then and and be a star There's something has to give and it's gonna be your kids and your family. Yeah, trust me. I know I Think the the bigger issue here, she's putting out there, she's been trying to contact Elon and he's not responding. Do you wanna see this one real quick?

If this is just an artist, digital artist? This is the last one. What's up? This'll be the last one. Yeah, this is the last one, yeah. He took out Manny Pacquiao's opponent. This is part of his artwork, but it looks pretty trippy, right?

He digitally took him out. Like he's fighting a ghost. Yeah. That's so cool. You can see the punches that he got hit with. Good defense. This is interesting. It's actually really interesting.

Yeah. Wow. That's fucking wild. Who was he fighting there? Manny. Oh, sorry, Floyd. Dude, you can see Floyd catching him too. Look at that. Oh Look at his head. This is terrifying you guys. Dude, that's fucking incredible seem get hit. Yeah, he took a lot of punishment

That's what you realize even a great takes a lot of head trauma. Look at that What's the name of the game? Fuck, dude? Imagine tomorrow. There's a someone. He had a bad shoulder in this, right? Yeah. What'd you say? Imagine tomorrow there's like video evidence of like someone killing someone and they're like, I just edited myself out. You can't prove I killed that guy. Yeah, that's happening.

It'd be. It's gonna happen. Oh yeah. It'd be cool if they did the one Marquez. Yeah. Where he had knocked out. That'd be cool. Oh, they're gonna get hit there.

Holy shit. It's wild. Wow. Oh. That's one. Wow. Oh, that's cool. Good. It looks like he's just, he does all 12 rounds. No, no, he, he did. There's only a certain amount. I don't know how much he did, but it's, that's really concerning to see Paul Pfeiffer. Like you realize he took a lot of punishment in that fight. He couldn't do much against Floyd boy. Look at that.

Neither of them did much. It was a terrible fight. Anyway. He made Pacquiao miss a lot, but I guess he couldn't really throw. Hey, you're watching Pacquiao box air Brian. Pacquiao landed a lot too. I remember you and I talked about it. He missed a lot. He didn't land much at all. Neither did Floyd. It was a terrible fight. Floyd landed a lot. If you can see there, he took a lot. But if they did that with Floyd, it's going to be the exact same, right? It's a boxing match. I don't know.

Yeah. Floyd never really got touched. Okay. He didn't. Okay. Look, man, you guys might want to come see me at the Miami improv. I've been saying, I've been saying Dania and I'm

an idiot. I'm at the Miami. God dog. I'm at the Miami. God dog. I'm at the Miami improv in Doral. February 20, 21, 22. Completely different, bud. Come get some Miami improv. That's a great club.

Excited. All right, kids. That's it. We love you. This is the 500 kid. We're out.