The Flop House - Best of the Flop House 2: Ep. 76-125

Episode Date: March 14, 2016

Just in time for MaxFun Drive, a little bonus for listeners.

But my brother brought up how much he always liked the score to Inspector Gadget. And I had waves in the nostalgic come over me. I go to YouTube, I look at some Inspector Gadget related videos on YouTube and I scroll down to the comments section and one comment on one of the Inspector Gadget related videos catches my eye and it simply says What if Penny met a dinosaur In all like small letters there was something sort of plaintive about it that caught my eye like I found this Particularly be galling someone anybody listening to me particularly the galling. Is there anybody listening to me?

What if, what if Penny met a dinosaur? My message in a bottle. A question that we've ever been answered by canonical inspector gadgets. Certainly not by Deek, the animation studio that didn't expect a gadget. So I post about this actually on Facebook and I post about the What If Penny Mededinos or comment on Facebook and this is a firestorm of Inspector Gadget commentary erupts. But my friend Kelly says, you know, like that she thinks that if you plugged the phrase, What If Penny Mededis or into the internet then you would reach the end of the internet.

And so I actually Google this. You know Google what a penny met a night job really absorbs you you get full set affected for me and I find I find a point when a job becomes a career really it's called the terminus S if you will so following this this train you know it's like all the president's man following the money but i'm following the following the you're following the penny yeah i've got a point during so i click on another link that google cost up for me and it is uh... it appears to be

some sort of bondage inflective uh... illustration of an older penny uh... you know i uh... what's the what's's the rule, uh, if it exists, there's pornography related to it. Uh, it's like a rule 34. Yeah, I think so. Pretty easy. Now this is like, this is like an internet meme, like if it exists, there's pornography. Like so, but there's a bondage themed photo and I scroll down like wondering why? Or, uh, sorry, Not far, sorry. It's an illustration. It's a cartoon or something. So what's strong style, like Ashkan school or what, you know?

I don't know. It's an older penny tied up. Great tone, great tone. But I scroll down to a comment section of this. Because of course this has comments. And in the comments, someone says, what has Penny metadion in school? So what you thought was a kind of adorable,

plaintive cry turns out was a request for bondage themes, the B.C.L.A. setting for it. So I go back to the Google search. I click on the next one down. Same site, unless disturbing picture illustration of Penny. Well, I scroll down.

She's doing better. I scroll down and again, if Penny met a doctor? So now I'm intrigued by this guy. I click on this guy's view of ordering dangerously close to an obsession that will lead you into a web of deceit and seduction. It's going to leave you to fear not calm. No, I like this. So I click on this guy's username and I find like this, I love games. Storing Dan. I click on this guy's username and I get this message that says this user has been permanent we banned from this site.

Wow. For I assume asking too much about Penny and this fucking dinosaur. Yeah. You asked the wrong questions. You made some powerful enemies on the Penny bondage site. You followed the money trail. Yeah. So guys, I, to me, you're saying is don't go chase the waterfalls.

But I love throughout this whole experience though, it was like peeling back the layers of the onion. There was always something, there's always something new to discover. So are you plugging me in a fucking kid detective? Like what? And let's look at what you discovered. You discovered that there's inspector gadget themed bondage porn site and that someone has irritated the moderator of this site. Fucking congratulations dude. Yeah. You're a super sleuth macaw over here. Regular encyclopedia brown. You're a regular in cyclobeadie of brown

You get the fucking key to the city key to the internet. Oh, it's too bad. You're dead the police chief Can't tell any one about his genius detective son Man You guys started to say the beauty of this guy because you know when you start turning over rocks you're gonna find some Find some snails Yeah, that's for sure It was a fitting story for this bad movie by fast But guys here so guess what I'm asking you I guess ultimately though what I'm asking is what if

I'm sorry because that commenter was me Yeah So because that commenter was me Yeah, I don't know what happened What if I don't know that it should probably get eaten by the guys depends on the kind of dinosaur Yeah, well, Bronnus horse probably wouldn't eat her. Yeah. Yeah, it would eat Vegetables. Yeah, yeah, it's less like unless she and fucking brain were dressed up as like a tree or something Yeah, which who knows one of itsget's employees might have gotten made that happen. Yeah. Brain always had to hide in costumes.

And the sight of a dog would destroy him. And then Inspector Gadget would say, it's a mad agent. And then, then, then wacky hygiene students do, guys. Yeah. And Don Adams would deposit the check in his bank account and then go on to do some Wendy's commercial. D.I.C. Anyway, so that's my story. Oh, that's not really your story.

That was like, it's part of humanity's grand your story when I write a screenplay about it. There was like an H.B. Lovecraft story where someone's reading through like journal entries left behind, except instead of a monster It was the dumbest question ever asked Guys, uh, what what a penny meta dinosaur has been sweeping the nation Yeah, Rebecca black has nothing on what if penny meta dinosaur so these last two Or about mess. What a penny mother. Yeah, the first one says written by damn two days about messages. What a petty mother. Yeah, the first one says written by dad and two dad.

This first one is from Brendan last name with hell and he says, so I googled what if Penny met a dinosaur and the guy who made the comment on YouTube had just made the comment, would you touch April's boobs? You, you, the letter you on a video of April O'Neill from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I thought you should be updated. So they're carrying on the tradition, the investigative tradition that I started. I knew what a point out that the person who wrote the letter's name was Brendan or Bren Dan. Oh! See? You got to find the clues, put the pieces of the puzzle together. So intricate. World and World. It's like the Westing game

Okay, well this this this is a similar touch April's Ridiculous comment Well, that's why he put on the internet for the entire world Unless it's like he was saying he was watching this clip from the intertural scenes when you just touch April's boobs already Come on Rapiel. I don't even know why I'm coming. I mean come on other reporter that works at the station Obviously, April Craig as an animator character V-bop come on leave him money on the table here. You can see she wants it Continue now as an animated character, you know like obviously you can't so like in that context It doesn't work, but he's saying is if if she was really cool world or something

If you were in cool world, then why wouldn't you yeah? You know that's you would So he's not wondering why backstreet stockman is not growing April. I don't know Maybe that was directed at us through the medium of YouTube comments Maybe he knew that we would that we brought our attention by friends in the last name with help. That's good stuff. So this is this last thing came in.

I want to know, I want to meet that guy. So we're not meeting him, but I want to know who he is. So man, well, this is another piece of the puzzle. This last thing comes in from at unsupervised on Twitter. He sent a message, a direct message to us, or he sent an ad message at the Flophouse pod. Is that our Twitter presence? Yeah, that's our Twitter presence.

And unsupervised says, this goes even deeper than just Penny. And he sent a Google search he had done with the words metadinosaur and this gentleman's user name. And so this gentleman also wants to know what would happen if these various characters metadinosaur, Kermit, Bob from Sesame Street, Zach Weezy from Dragon Tales. I don't know what that is.

Ernie and Bert, Arthur the Art Vark, Grover, Super Grover. It's Grover and Super Grover and I hate to bring it the news everybody What's wrong with the Grover the same Grover it's just the same monster big bird telly Abby Cadabby buddy the dinosaur that sort of Like that's cool. He's already a dinosaur. I don't know. I said we met a dinosaur when he was born I already met himself Elmo and then lastly Roy G bib the m memonic to remember the fuse of a visible spectrum.

So I guess the internet is a buzz over what would happen if these characters met dinosaurs. A little weird thing for this, to become the secondary reason for this podcast to exist. Bad movies and investigating the sky. Yeah. Who loves to find out if so. Also, if you're if you're confused by this whole conversation, go back and listen to the Oscar episode, the the flop. You probably skipped because we weren't talking about a movie. Yeah. But Dan told a. But it's a griffeting tale. It's a canonical episode. So we're now going to be referring back to it. Oh yeah. It'll be in the fluff house essentials album. Yeah. Dan's I think your story will be enthologized probably at some point. Yeah. It's probably a story core is

gonna put that. We got to record this for future generations. Yes. He's a house guy. You ruin every contest. I'm the contest ruler. Yeah. Yeah. That was my Batman villain character. Yeah, he just keeps like he just ruined contest Just not technically a crime Just Bruce Wayne is like a real like contest aficionado. He just loves him. He loves contest Well, Batman. It looks like he won this scratcher I keep wanting this scratcher, but I'm going to scratch everything. Oh, goddess, ruler. Like, Bruce Wayne's sitting in the movies and the screen

sprangles up, and the contest ruler just yells out the answer. I didn't even get a chance to read it yet. Oops, guess everyone's your contest. Oh, and I'm going to ruin the movie too. The bureau gets adjusted. Oh! Spoiler alert! That's my sidekick!

Who's just me because I can't afford a real sidekick? You're so lucky that you have your own ward! Man, I wish! I wish I could beat myself! Oh, the movie's been going for 10 minutes. I don't know what's happening because he keeps talking. I told you, the bureau gets adjusted. We won't buy the one to wear, we'll buy.

That's me ruining it. Yeah, the contest ruiner is branching out into just just ruining movies. Oh, I don't think he doesn't seem up with 7 pounds. Thirdly. New contest. Those of you who are artists, he doesn't seem up with seven pounds. That would be... New Contest. Those of you who are artists, why don't you draw us a few panels of Batman versus the Contest? That's a good contest.

Considering unsolicited we have people sending in pictures of Penny from Inspector Gadget fighting a dinosaur. Yeah. Well, now you've got something else to kill you day with. As you're listening to this podcast hating the job You're in doodling on some graph paper watch it doodle something with purpose Speaking specifically about one of you who works with graph paper And the prize is the feeling of accomplishment you get after having drawn the contest ruiner. Mm-hmm. Yeah

get after having drawn the contest ruiner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. them. They were right. They were a shitload of witches. They caused the plague and if we didn't have the witches, the plague wouldn't have happened.

Everything's demons and witches. It's like I can't buy into that. I'm sorry. Justifying genocide through a sci-fi movie, I think is probably the best way. Yeah, it just seems very strange for them to take the side of the witch killers. Well, I guess some of us don't love witches like you do Elliot. Wait, what? And you're... Wait, are you casting me as the bad guy? Yep, you're the husband of the devil and...

You... That's my wife you're talking about. Devilina. I thought Elvira was the female version of the devil. Well, she's the mistress of the dark, but she's kind of goofy to me, the female version of the devil. Oh, okay. She's more interested in, you know, cleavage-related pursuits. Yes.

What do you think? Interest cleavage. Yes, the new issue of cleavage of Fistinato is in. So, Viro, I guess that's weird, okay. She's on the cover of every issue, her or my gana be kissing bandit And once this piggy He's a house guy It feels like when Paul throw the actress being like this is the scene. Yeah, this is what's gonna win me that Oscar

I'm gonna either that or one of the scenes where I Mean this sick child. Yeah, put me over the edge. The one where she yells about her dead baby bird or whatever. Yeah, okay. Or did that not happen? I don't, they kind of gloss over. I probably cut that out. That was in the alternate ending that we didn't get to see.

The original ending, they walk in on her, this is my assumption. In the original, I read the DVD has the original ending, we don't know it is, we didn't watch the DVD, we watched it on off a TV So here's what I imagine they walk into her room. There's pills in the table. They can't wake her up Uh-oh, they're going Kelly Kelly wake up. Oh, what did you do Kelly Kelly and they're all God? She's dead

She pops up gotcha. I'm okay, but my bird is dead Gotcha, I'm okay, but my bird is dead. Cut to the funeral tiny casket. The Paul Barrett's are all other birds. Paul Barrett, the other takers. Yes, that's weird. He's performing the service. Country music, I get it. Yeah, they put a tiny shoe box into the dirt.

But there's a huge monument above it, like many, many times life size. And for some reason, the bird has a book of tuck tuck under its wing. And in the other wing, it holds a star. Okay. So it's like a songbird. And she says for you, birdie bird, because she's already forgotten the red line is the name of the bird. Okay.

For you birdie bird, I will continue to be and she turns to the camera close up. Look at the camera. Country's strong title comes up. You hear a gunshot for some reason, but no it's heard just like an exciting like Fireworks go off. Then we cut to obligatory rap scene. Oh, yeah, she tells the story of the movie in rap I would like a fish islands All the animated ghost of the dead bird flits around her. Well, the ghost of the dead bird is like a fight man. It's like, uh-huh. Yeah.

Not a good thing. Like mugs from cyber sale. Sure. Okay. Yeah. That's and that's the end of the movie. Okay. And then as the credits roll, it cuts to one of Paul Tro and it says two years later and she's finally finishing the screenplay for country strong, fingers covered in ink or in anchor whatever yeah and she goes perfect. Yeah, perfect. And then country country, country strong will return in country strong to country stronger. Oh perfect. Original ending. I don't know why they changed it for this downer. Yeah.

Oh, Sean Canary. Highland and two with a quickening. You just advertise in other movies in the middle of the game. He was in that. Welcome to Entrapment. If you want to see another movie with me, why not go watch League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? If you want to see me in a flop, see me in a real flop.

Zardos. Just gonna run around in a diaper for a day movie. I got a mustache in a red diaper and a gun, what more do you need? And boots I got to my knees. There's a floating stone ahead in that film for God's sake. For God's sake, what more do you need to see it? There's a whole sequence where I just sit there and a cave with my wife and we turn into skeletons. What do I have to tell you to get you to see this movie?

I would love it if that was the trailer for Zarda. Just in describing it. There's some crazy shit in this film. We wear masks and rape people. It turns out it's the wizard of ours in the end. Quite ascribed in you can't even believe it. You have to see it. There's all sorts of psychic shit with these women. I don't even know what was going on, but I'm in like a cocoon or something. You gotta see this. It's amazing. When does it come out? Look it up. Oh, it is this will blow your mind.

When does it come out? Look it up. Oh, it is this will blow your mind. Who's the Zardos now, dog? So what are you doing in trailer for a movie made a long time? Yeah. Yeah. I know this is for the re-release of Zardos. Yeah. If you haven't seen it, you owe it to yourself. Yeah, for Zardos 3D. Yes, for Zardos 3D.

You'll think that the giant stone head is just flying out of the screen at you. It's amazing. He's a house cat. This would be a good story if it was like a 5 or 6 page easy comics. Like story hosted by the Cryptkeeper or the old witch or someone like that. And the- But it's- It's trying to set up a Cryptkeeper impression.

You got me, oh boy. The scream house anyway, but the Yeah, it's just like not there's nothing there and it's a waste of talent. I just think about it If like the crypt reek keeper like miss the obvious pun Looks like it's a real Dream horse It's like it's a real dream horse What do you say?

I'm sorry I've been very tired. There's been problems at home Really giving us a real look into the crypt keepers private life I Would say look at the crypt keep. Dan, how old are you? Like what? So I'm sorry, Dan just suddenly turned into a seven-year-old. I lay it said privates. I said private life and Dan, and Dan in his mind, just went to privates. I am a Paul. No, but think about it, Elliot. What would the crypt keepers private? They've rotted away. There's nothing there. It's just a pelvic bone. Yeah, there's nothing there. There's not even a bone there.

I mean, that's the kind of soft tissue that really goes away almost instantly. Yeah. What if it was perfectly preserved? Like one of those bully sticks you feed your dog. But what if it was perfectly... That's what it was. But what if it was perfect? What situation are you hoping that comes out of that?

It's like this is like, those are the speculative, like, fiction. Well, we dealt with what Petty, Petty, and Petty met a dinosaur. You need to take that idea and run with it. That's what you guys do with riders. Yeah, I'm still dealing with what happens if Penny or Tom Petty meets a dinosaur. Don't just name it Cowboys and Ailen. Don't just name two things that are in the movie. Yeah. It seems very... No, that's the way most serious movies are named. Oh. It's in those lists. Two things. There's a guy. He's got a list. Saving Private Ryan. Private Ryan. I mean, that's what they're not saying. And great savings. Named to loss the sleep.

There's a great value in that movie. It's tons of berry pepper. It's a memorial day, so. So, waiter, you're getting savings on private Ryan? Yes, and in addition, savings on other merchandise in the department. So, private Ryan is sort of like a loss leader. It gets you in the door.

Well, you're saving and on products that are equal or lesser value than private Ryan. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Still, you're working with me too. You couldn't get anything about this. So wait, could I get a kernel Ryan or would kernel Ryan be worth it?

kernel Ryan is a greater value. So no, for this, for this sales offer, it would not worth it. Okay. For this event. But the private Ryanathon is going on throughout the month of June. Anything you like on the show. Stop. Feel free to come in. Asking if it years my card come in anytime.

We've got a lot of great privates on here. Ryan and I know this or technically yes, I do work on commission. So I'd appreciate if you I would love to make a sale. But again, this is about getting you and the right private Ryan in the room That's fine. I'm just not buying the extended warranty on one of these private Ryan's are you because it is a great machine Yes, you won't experience a lot of problems, but safety This manager makes him ask that I mean

I'm the computer showing me that that's already been included. I'm sorry I can talk to my manager But usually he's not so crazy about special offers. This is my ass on the line. I know, but I'm willing to do it for you So saving private Ryan was Then the manager's looking at you know, I know. Oh god I think he's coming over So I heard you the man I think he's coming over. Ah, so, uh, I heard you.

The man of two voices. Yeah, they came. You don't want, uh, you don't want this warranties? It's called a Welligan setup. He's a house guy. I'd like to think of Christians later now, like hunched over the computer like, all right, what do we do with this?

Okay, act three problems. Let's get started. I guarantee you that he did not look at the script until day of. Do you think he knew he was in a movie or was it like Bo Fender? Yeah, he knew very well what he was doing because he pulled me aside and said, oh, this is it. Let me tell you what we're doing here. This is a cash grab. Gold CG. All right, we're going gonna do this and pretend it never happens. Rizzles veteran Christian Slater. As if this was a crime you were committed somewhere.

Sure. No, and really did. I saw him look at his sides at some point and go. Alright, let's do it. I love that attitude. Alright, this is what you guys want to do. Let's go for it. I am 100% more forgiving of the last 10 years in Christian Slater's career. Now that I've heard this, I'm really excited. Someone I think I was also looking at my sides and like, did it?

Did it just make my life splitting through all the hilarity? Did it just do my lines? And he looked at me like, just what don't worry about it. And we were really one of those knowing your lines kind of. No, I really, it is an improvised movie. Hey, it's Dan here. I'm bringing you this best of compilation of the last one went up to episode 75. This covers 76 through 125. population of The last one went up to episode 75 this covers

76 through 125 I'm bringing it to you now because it's max fund drive We are in full donation drive swing at Maximumfun.org and the flop house comes out as you know Just twice a month which means that if we had left it to our normal devices, there would have been only one max fun episode, and we wanted to give you more than that, not just out of the kindness of our heart, because it would give us one more chance to ask you for donations. Please don't skip ahead on your machines. We will do a much longer and

more thorough and more informative donation pitched to you with our regular episode, which also happens to be our 200th episode. And we have some very special stuff planned for that. But I just wanted to give a short pitch to you now. It's something that we do with our time. It's something that you find worthwhile. It's something that as we grow older, maybe it's harder to find the time to do. And I'm not saying that in a threatening way. It sounds like I'm extorting you. But if it's an endeavor that you have enjoyed and has brought you entertainment over the years, maybe you want to think of supporting it financially. I know that there are reasons that I won't go into, personal reasons that all three of us

could use a little extra money this year, and certainly getting money from the flop house as much as we love to do it makes it easier for us to find the time, month in, month out to put this show out there for you. Think to yourself, hey, what place do podcasts have in my life? What value do I give them? Because I know that for me, I listen to podcasts on my way to work, I'm my way back from work, I'm more often than not when I'm walking around when I'm doing my chores or when I'm doing errands. I find that these days podcasts are not

supplementary entertainment for me. They are one of the first lines of entertainment. I get as much entertainment on podcasts as I do having television. And I pay for television, I pay for television, I pay for cable, I pay for Netflix, I pay for Hulu, maybe I should pay for a few of those things, but if you're the sort of person who values entertainment by paying for a streaming service, consider this, consider that maximum fun is a streaming service that has brought you hours and hours

of entertainment. And if you donate, there are all kinds of great gifts that are available for you. I will go over the gifts in detail again on our longer pitch on our regular show, but among those gifts, foremost among them, is access to hundreds of hours of maximum fun bonus material. And if you want to hear the flop houses take on Entourage, the movie, that will only be available.

That live show recording will only be available to listeners as a bonus episode if you are a donor. And there are a lot of other great gifts that come at all levels of donations. So I'm going to sign off for now because no one likes hearing too much from me when those other two jokers aren't around to interrupt me. But go to maximum fun, forward slash, donate, and put your money where your ears are when it comes to the podcast that you love. And thank you for listening.

He's a house cat. Actually, you know what? I'd rather be in a Aughts Cinemax series where it's one of those ones where it's a repackaged movie with scenes from 90s Cinemax shows. So it's a lot of people just sitting around going, I knew this couple once and they told me the craziest story and then it just cuts to a sexy. I wanted to. I then it cuts back the other people. Wow, that story was hot.

But like you say that I wanted I have for a long time wanted to do a stand up bit about that very same thing. Like what is going on there? What story are they telling? Were they were they they're watching that? No, they always say they told me about it or they usually say. What are they describing when it's like, yeah, that's what I wanted them to have sex. Okay, first he was on top. He was on top, but then she was behind her, and then she was on top. And then we've timed, they were doing reverse

cowgirl, but all throughout it, one of them had their hands in front of their genital So you couldn't actually see it feels like it was curiously edited down for some reason and where the penis seems like it Should be going into the vagina it seemed like it was actually going into more of like I don't know the belly button region And there was an irritating rock and roll song that I've never heard anywhere else and never will hear anywhere again That is a hot story. Why are we talking about sex stories again? I don't remember. Well, time to have sex, I guess. Credits.

Right now, there are listeners across America saying the flop house is descended into madness. They are right. They're talking about the nearest shore. The shore lead is not making any sense. But I think we need to talk with a plot. Well, first, the first thing to know is your assumption that the UG loves were a thing that existed and they made a movie out of it was wrong. This is a movie made by some of the people involved with the American Americanized version of the Teletubbies. And I assume from putting that show out, they they realized the

lesson that kids will watch any shit as long as it's brightly colored and has made upwards in it. So let's hey let's go through the movie and introduce everybody to the Oogie loves because nobody saw this film. This is one of the most concise description of this plot that exists right. Well I'll see if I can stretch it out. Okay so the Oogie loves the they introduce us by the beginning, by just talking to the audience. Okay. They are three horrific costume characters named Gooby, Zuzi and Tufi. Imagine the garbage-pale kids cross with Barney. Yeah, I think that's a good way to think about it. Now, they each have their particular personality. Gooby is into science. He has glasses. He keeps talking about how

things are science-tastic. Science-tastic. Zuzi can speak any language, but her catchphrase is sparkly licious, I think. Yeah. And she's feminine, right? She's a girl. Yeah. It's a girl. It's like, and they're sparkly. And they're and then there's gratitude. They're sparkly delicious. And then there's toofy. The awesome party guy. The steward of the group. Yeah. Very much the steward of the Steward and his thing is that his pants fall down all the time so also Just like that fun all the time he comes and says I'm toofy and I like to have fun anyway I can or something like that which is creepy

No holds barred You're in toofy's world now There's no safe word here. Are they in a band? Yes, they are in a band and they're the U.E. Love's They never quite explain what an U.E. Love is. Yeah, they are them at the beginning of the movie. They explain so much about the U.E. Love's except for what U.E. Love's is and why Keys house care All right, well, let's close out the mail bag with this last female closing up the mail bag All right, well, let's close out the mail bag with his last email closing up the mail bag Sip it tight. Let those letters out letters want to jump and scream and shout But zip up the mail bag keep them in suffocate them makes it easier to bury them

Mailbag murder murder those letters in the mail bag murder Storing Kerry was sounds like a case for jazz murder those letters in the mailbag. The mailbag murder. It's starring Carrie Elwes. Sounds like a case for jazz. So, so we can't wear, Carrie Elwes is the mail. As the mail, jazz is on the case. Finally, mail is titled. After he bought that magical saxophone off that chipsy. Woo!

That is finally a mail that we may not have time for anymore. It's titled, Why I'm Never Listening to Stewart Ahead. Yeah, we we may not have time for anymore. Is titled, Why I'm Never Listening Disturier to You? Yeah, we probably don't have time for this. No, I think we need to, here, find out this is a ding-dong related. It's from Ryan Lasson with Hell, he writes, I was recently visiting my parents and decided to peruse through the on-demand section of their cable provider. I stumbled upon one section with a completely nondescript title. I've already forgotten.

It contained a possibly endless list of films. I was in the low one thousandth by the time I hit movies beginning with the letter A. It is far as I could tell. It was a compendium of seen by nobody being movies from the 80s and 90s, with an odd sprinkling of significantly more well received films such as Capote and field of dreams. What caught my eye though was a certain film called Head of the Family Unrated Edition. I don't think I've ever had this pleasure of sitting through such horrendous plotting disaster that let me more confused than terrible. I don't know what is different in the unrated version, but I suspect that's something to do with the endless deluge of Jacqueline Lavelle nude scenes. I dread the day when I am startled by the sudden appearance

of invisible maniac or castle freak in my life regards rye. This is I think the first complaint we've had off of a recommendation. Well, um, Stuart Irrebuttal? Well, I guess I've earned that. I have to say, if someone's complaining about endless Jacqueline Lavelle nude scenes, I don't know what's wrong.

Yeah, then there's nothing we can do to help you. You want something else that we can offer. I head of the family is a totally stupid movie. So you think it's not totally scared or snorrifying. Unless you're totally spookified by a giant melon headed telepathic, I guess, enemy, like a cow doc. Yeah, like, he's basically a modac. He's basically a cut rate modac. Head of the family is for someone who enjoys the idea

that there's a giant head of the family. And if you mess with the head, you're dead. I mean, if I can buy stuff, I'm supposed to. But it says on the post. Yeah, mess with the head and you're dead. Jack, when the bell takes your clothes off. No, come on. They're hitting your dad and Jack will the fel takes a close off now. Come on I know of you guys

It all when you're when you're visiting your parents you sometimes want to be taken to a different world In this case you want to be taken to a world where there's a head What have you guys with that head? What have it's video? You're on the being dead. I don't know what you're asking for. He's a house cat. When our listeners are considering one of our recommendations to watch, if you want to feel smarter, more enriched by the experience, you go with maybe an alien recommendation.

Yeah, come on, life put on our fucking black and white movie watching glasses. And watch one alien. He's just glasses, if you do. When you're on a plane You watch one of fucking dance and when you're Probably pretty drunk and you're annoyed that you're staying with your parents and you're in the basement You watch one of stewards. I think it's pretty fucking clear. I think that is clear I think you made a great play and bake up some pizza rolls

Squirt some goger on your pizza rolls Yeah, I enough. That leads us to movie recommendations. And tonight I'm going to recommend Head of the Invisible Free. Okay. So this evening we watched a little movie called Stolen. Stolen. Starring Nicholas K. Nicholas Y. Nicholas Y.

We haven't seen a Nicholas K. He's moving in a while, so excited about this one. Like three months without a cage. So should we explain why we're mispronouncing Nicholas Gay? I think listeners to the past episode are familiar with this story. That was pre-EW. So we should, or pre-EW. We should, post-EW.

Post-EW. And if somebody is picking this podcast up for the first time, we don't actually want them to get the joke right. Exactly. No, yeah, yeah. It's all about forcing people out and making them not enjoy it by feeling they're not cool enough to get these inside jokes. So buckle on your headphones, folks.

We're going to talk about this movie. It's going to be a bumpy here. So we should explain that this movie stolen. We saw the trailer last year. And it looked fantastic and For it's a Nicholas Cage film that for some reason in the trailer the voice over guy who has a perfectly normal voice Announces the name of the star as Nicholas K He liked it was an extra syllable in there

What about the segment where we create a resolution to become better people for the next episode and then the next episode we report on it. That's been cut. Oh boy, so we're just jerks again. You're off the chain, Elliot off the chain, starfucker. Elliot unchained. Coming this may start from rated R. rated NC 17 They brought back the X rating for it. Oh wow, and it's on TV. It's on ABC family. Yeah, okay It's very strange, but you know they put up the money. I think it's weird Did they say ABC family because they want the whole family to be there or? Because it's it's actually the original name of the channel was ABC head of the family. Oh Listen I was actually talking about this whoa. I'm listening. Whoa.

I was actually talking about this today, how I'm disturbed that like if you put any actress's name into Google, immediately feet will pop up behind it, which is apparently like foot fetishism is much larger than I expected, because that is the number one result. You know, it's even larger than foot fetishism. What?

Big foot fetishism. Big? Big foot fetishism. Bigger feet, bigger fetish. Look at those eyes of the footprints. For some guys that's like an enormous boob print. Yeah. Anyway, the guys somewhere masturbating with the idea of big foot and some monolablon. You're just masturbating to Harry and the Henderson's.

Yeah. There's a guy who has cut out pictures of shoes from a magazine just masturbating to Harry in the Henderson's. Yeah. There's a guy who has cut out pictures of shoes from a magazine. And he watches Harry in the Henderson's and holds it up to the TV screen. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. Oh, yeah, old man of the forest. Those pumps look pretty good. You got the biggest feet, the biggest feet. He's a house guy. $35 million, Elliot. Most of that went to hats, fake gold, Nicholas

Cahage. I assume most of that money went straight to Nicholas Cage's castle broker. And the IRS. But anyway, the original castle freak. Hey guys, if we don't, I'm going be saying that we fucking go. I can't believe you. Yeah, if you've had a new way to talk about Nicholas Cage and a new way to talk about Castle Freak, we're episode what? 700 and 8? Yeah. You will have that.

You will have that. You will have that. When giant sardine's beer, it's never been a time we haven't been doing this part. Like it's like the shining. There's a picture from the 20s of us doing this podcast. It was a radio show. We all have big muscles. Every time we walk out, we see another version of us walking in.

Oh, yeah, it's like a looper. You got a whole primer situation going on here. Whoa! This is a TV movie, CBS would make so they could try to spin it off into a show if you've got the way they do with Kojak, I don't know if they were CBS, the way Kojak was done. So like, in Colombo was the same way I think.

So like, The Bells are gonna like to go. Ah. The mystery show. Yeah. The classic mystery show, the Bells are gonna like to go to the Silo. The Silo, it's the best.

Hahaha. There's a bunch of regular people, like high society times, and a Silo silent in the room and detective galactica. Detective B galactica, I think I know who did it. One more question. One more question Mr. Sylon. So you're a killing machine robot. Oh yes I am.

I can't close. You say you're a killing machine robot. Oh yes I am. I case closed. That's it. You say you're a human being. Now why do you, why do your eyes, one red light that goes back and forth? Oh, I have a condition. That makes sense. That makes you a lot of sense. I just want more question.

If you're a regular poison, why do you have big metal claws for hands? And why? I'm going to join more than that. I think we should go on to final judgments. Jump out the window with a cop leaves out of an ambush and tackles him. How did you know the silent was the one who did it? Let's just say I had a hunch. Oh he's also a hunchback. So that one so it's always a pun at the end of the episode. Let's say I had a hunch.

It looks at the early weeks of the camera and says, okay, it's closed It's called that'll start a lack to got hunch back to Texas. So is the late Peter fog and A cylon it's always a cylon who did it And he talks like the guy from the stolen fail Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture, Artist-owned Listener Supported