The Flop House - Ep. #189 - Deliver Us from Evil
Episode Date: October 17, 2015No show notes because Dan is busy nursing a sick cat. ...
Transcript
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Classic intro on tonight's flop house we watched a movie called
Deliver us from evil
rated G. We're good Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey everyone and welcome to
the flop house. I'm Stuart Spooky Wellington. I can't live up to that in drugs. I'm just
Sam Elliott Kaelin. Just remembered that it was, Shocktober, the spookiest time of year, dude. Oh, stewions.
Rettle chain,
Rettle chain,
Rettle chain skeleton sounds,
skeleton sounds,
bat flap,
bat flap,
bat flap water drips,
water drips,
candy falling into bag sounds.
Why is a water drips scary?
It's very scary.
It's very scary.
You're like, oh,
man, now I've got to call the plumber.
That's really frightening.
The plumber starring Jeffrey Comes, produced by Brian Hughes, not. See, that I gotta call the plumber. That's really frightening. The plumber starring Jeffrey Combs,
produced by Brian Hughes-Nut.
Obviously that's different from the movie
called The Plumber than I Know, the Australian one.
I mean, it is.
Is yours a super scary porn oh movie
at Jeffrey Combs and I'm guessing Corbin Burnson?
Oh, are you making up this movie as he go along?
Yeah, I'm kinda stitching it together from other legs.
Super scary porno. That's what I'm looking for.
Finally, a movie that'll give me the chills and the thrills.
It'll scare you so much the seamen just bubbles up out of your spout.
It's horrible.
Okay. You have to see a urologist.
I let this go on long enough.
Should it go on?
Before we move on.
Time to bring order to this primordial chaos, Dan.
Yeah. Before we move on, I just want to.
We move on. We haven't even started.
We're moving on, too.
I was just going to say before we went on to talking about the movie, I wanted to thank
the Macarois for taking over the show last week.
Yep, if we sound different, it's because we're not the Macarois.
If you're super sad about that, well, don't be a jerk.
Listen to this show.
And they have a lot of podcasts you can listen to.
They're very funny.
They would put that.
If last week was the first episode of the Flop House
that you listened to, then you are in for a shock this week.
A shock tover, if you will.
I will, because that's the time of the year it is,
Dan, what's shock tover about?
Thanks to Wolf.
Thanks to Wolf.
We had a big thank you in the Mac.
Yeah, okay, before we move on, let's thank the Mac.
They took the car out for a spin.
They brought it back full of gas. They took it
They got it nice wash and waxed. Okay, so weird compliment. They vacuumed up the crumbs beneath the seat
Mm-hmm. They rewind the tape and the cassette player to the exact point that I like it
They buffed out your butt groove out of the
Thanks, chair. I think what you're saying is they did a bang-up job
Yeah, and we were really having to have them on the show
Thanks guys for doing us justice
Because we were seeking justice
If I seem distracted during this podcast, let me just take a moment to say that there's a loudly weezing cat in the corner my cat is sick
It's had been hospitalized and it's back and now it's making weezy weezy noises. So Dan might be a little distracted by that.
So I keep looking over there and also I dozed off a little bit toward the end of this
movie.
And don't worry guys.
And for the time being I'm going to put my classic bit to bed, the flop house house
cat, I'm going to put him in the little bit garage.
I'll take him out for a spin a little while later, not tonight though.
I haven't done it a long time. Thanks for warning.
At the first minute. If so, if anyone's listening just to hear the house cat, maybe skip this
episode. I would hate to do the bit. And then you guys out of like kind of anger and shock,
just spit whatever you're drinking all over the people over then. And then the computer
explodes. And then we lose another episode.
We don't have Babylon A D scenario.
Or Beesley was, that was the other one.
No, Beesley we released.
Beesley was released, I thought.
We had, no, we released half of it, I think.
It was the one where the pirate radio station
started sneaking into our airways.
Oh, that's right, that's right.
When this deep briefly turned into a reggaeton show.
Christian Slayer.
Christian Slayer, which is the Christian version of the band Slayer,
is they wanted to bring the kids back into the fold.
Yeah.
Complete opposite message.
So the song Angel of Death is now called actual angel.
It does not kill people.
So I'd like to rely on you even more than usual, Ellie. It's since the first half of this movie. I was worried about
Whether my cat was gonna be fed through the next two
Sleep. So what do we do on this year podcast?
Dan, maybe let's if you're not if you didn't sleep through the part where we do the podcast normally
What do we do on this podcast and how does Shocktober affect that?
Being that as that is the month
that the we are in now. Yep, check your calendar. Unless
you listen to this not in Shocktober in which case shame
on you. Check your calendars. Is that acceptable?
Cryptkeeper pun off of calendar? Dan's gears are
working. I would. Your calendar. Let's gears are working. I would. Yeah, calendar. Let's let's ask the judges.
Calendar is much better. Um, wow. I can't
believe that that fell right by me. So this is a
podcast where we watch a bad movie and we
talk about it. Mm-hmm. And during
October and that was magical time of the
year. Mm-hmm. We watch horror movies.
We're like ghouls and goasty's. We're popping
out of toilets to scare you. Those are ghoulies.
Ghoulies. Ghoulies. Ghoulies and gosties or popping out of toilets to scare you. Those are ghoulies.
Ghosties.
Ghosties are so great. A ghoul is separated.
Goules into ghouls.
And you combine ghoulies with ghouls and ghosts.
Yep.
But and ghosties, I guess, is your cereal that you're saying?
You get you get struck by a ghoulier ghosty and your armor pops off.
And you run around the underpants and throwing weirdly arcing torches the things
Tiny java I can't remember does the goolee actually pop out of the toilet in the movie goolees
I feel like the poster has what about when it goes to college
Dan poster gets you in the end what about any critters do they pop out of toilets?
When goolee goes to college it it sticks a plunger on a
When Goole go to college, it sticks a plunger on a shattering co-ed at one point, pulls her face off using the toilet plunge. There's that the physics of that do not add up. I was just going to have to say, Goole is going to college.
Why do you do that in the movie, face off, Dan?
Would it save some bucks?
I didn't have enough.
Yeah.
Here's my question.
How did the Goole get into college?
Was it like a special needs scholarship or something?
It is community college.
Okay.
And do you think goolees would fit in the face-off universe?
Yeah.
The way universe where they have a night,
night of prison boots.
I think toilet repair is what they're going for.
Stuart, it's all going to mean the face-off sequel,
face-off two, now there's goolees.
Are those goolees groovy? No, they are not.
Probably not.
So, so we're moving to we watch this time, Dan, as if we wasn't announced at the beginning
of the episode.
It was called Deliverus from evil.
Now this is the story of a woman named Eva who is very overbearing and everyone wants
to be delivered from.
Coming mistake.
You were watching a movie on your phone. That's now
what we're talking about. Yeah, deliver us from Eva, the story of
Eva Braun. And her it's a it's a remake of Kiki's delivery
service with Eva Braun instead of the level of team which
is there any code of rose in which yes, which is the story of a
teenager who gets turned into a sandwich.
What kind of toppings would you have on that? Zits, I guess, I don't know.
It's a teenager.
What?
Bacon bits?
I don't know.
Mountain Witch Top That.
Come on.
Oh, I see, because it's top that.
Yeah.
Son of a teenager.
Classic joke.
So we were talking.
Classic joke.
We're talking about Deliverus from Evil.
This is the what, like, 10th movie that I have this name?
Yes, there's a lot of movies with this name, but this is the only one based on the memoirs.
The Star of the Chaos.
Well, it's the only one with the Star of the Chaos name.
With the Star of the Chaos name.
With the Star of the Chaos name.
With the Star of the Chaos name.
With the Star of the Chaos name.
With the Star of the Chaos name.
With the Star of the Chaos name.
With the Star of the Chaos name.
With the Star of the Chaos name.
With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. Buna delicious chicken dish and Olivia Mon is in it and
and
Olivia
Mon Mon is probably the best. Yeah what about Boo Livy a Mon? Okay.
Go live a Mon. Oh, dead oh dead yeah, one instead of Olivia, one. Boo liver us from Booville.
All the boons down in Booville, like Halloween a lot.
Yeah, I learned here's a boo.
It's the Dr. C's Halloween book.
So this movie, it's based on memoirs.
It's incredibly loose.
Okay, it's an air season memoir.
It's incredibly loosely based on the memoirs
of a new or NYPD officer who has since become a full-time
demonologist
Apparently he was by day of policemen and by night and exorcist type prowling the mean streets of New York looking for demons
I assume in hell's kitchen and
Hell's the Bronx and
Hell's East Village and who can And who can forget devil statin island?
Like, and only assume the Vin Diesel was doing something else
when they were making this movie.
You miss his like right up his alley, dude?
I don't know.
Yeah, man, he's the last witch hunter.
Yeah, he's the top demon hunter character.
That'd be perfect for Vin.
That movie wasn't, well, wasn't he all,
oh, no, I'm thinking of the,
I was watching the trailer for the last witch hunter.
And because why not?
Guess is our trailer talk segment.
It was in front of another movie.
That's the normal place.
It was in front of another movie.
And you asked it to move aside.
And so I wasn't blocking your view of the movie anymore.
But like, I swear like it was a trailer were like halfway through the trailer.
I'm like, well, they're still explaining the premise of this movie.
Especially since the title kind of explains everything is the last witch finder which hunter general
of an electric
So let's talk about it. The movie has a brief prologue in Iraq. We're three Marines in Iraq
in a rock. We're three Marines. In a rock.
Oh, Lord.
Dan has been apparently possessed by a stupid joke,
demon. His name is Dumoffelies.
Dumoffs.
Golly.
Sorry.
Yep. No, he's still possessed.
I guess.
This is a gibberish demon.
I cast the out of Dan.
Dumpled Dan.
What?
The Apple Dumpled Dan, the Disney movie.
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
So we're in the fuck is that?
We're three seconds into the movie.
It's 2010.
We're in a rock.
There's a firefight in a rock
and three Marines discover an underground cave.
There's also a bunch of bats and, you know,
whatever.
There's end, we hear a lot of screaming.
Now it's 2013.
Flash forward.
Flash to the forward.
Eric Abana is a police officer in the NYPD.
That's the New York.
Anybody?
Police department.
Yeah, penis department.
Yeah, Dan, are you okay?
Sorry.
I'm very distracted.
No, I wonder if there is a New York penis department that's just in charge of just keeping
penises safe.
The guy comes in and is like, oh, I heard you're penis meter.
Yep, same length as last month.
I'll be back in a month.
What do you keep your penis here?
Every time.
I keep in the same place place everyone keeps their penis.
Every time the penis meter reader comes over,
you're like, is this a scam?
They just trying to rob my penis.
Sir, can you let me in the basement?
I need to read the penis meter for the people upstairs.
Sir, you don't need to hang out with me while I do this.
It's gonna be a couple of minutes.
So Eric Manus character, Ralph Sarchi, he is having a bad day. uh... so he and uh... so eric manis character Ralph sergey
he is having a bad day
first he finds a dead baby in a dumpster
then he is partner john mcale have a deal with the domestic disturbance where a guy who's a former marine
is
hitting his wife or something
uh...
and his partner john mcale
and him and his partner john mcale then go to another complaint where they find a
a.
Oh, no, a lady is totally.
It's the same to me.
I'm to baby.
Yeah, no, that's the different.
They go the the Marines has everything's fine.
I always clearly being abusive.
You're a melody to read Wikipedia.
Some reason movies has been hindered somehow.
Are you possessed, Elliot?
I'm possessed by a demon of not caring very much
about this movie, but then they go to the third call
which is at the Bronx Zoo, one of my favorite places
in the city.
I like the museum in natural history more.
Maybe that's because strangely enough,
the animals seem less sad to me for being dead
than just being imprisoned, but I like animals.
I'm more than a human being.
They've crossed over from this veil of tears.
Yeah, they're busy having adventures in the afterlife
in animal hollas.
In the blazing world.
Yeah.
Which is called that because it's because there's where you can light
farts pretty easily.
So they go to the Bronx, do a woman through her child into a
moat around one of the
cages, which apparently causes a child to disappear completely.
Nobody knows where it is.
Is it the same baby as the one he pulled out of that garbage bag?
No, those are very different babies.
There are two times in the movie when you see children who have been killed and put into
garbage receptacles
both times
steward what did you say
both the
talk about a garbage bill
and then i
all i asked for high five that i never see no that high five was not forthcoming
uh... they go to the bronch soup woman has thrown her child into ravine
and
they can't figure out what it is they find the woman in the in the dark and they walk around the zoo in the dark and suddenly
a bear jumps out of nowhere and roars at them.
We're like, suddenly some other animal makes a bunch of noise.
Almost all the scares in this horror movie are one of two types, either super gross goring
ass or it's dark, everything's quiet and then something jumps out and makes a lot of
sex.
I feel like they pitched this movie and they're like,
hey, you've heard of a cat scare, have you?
Wait for it.
How about a, wait for it?
Bear scare.
Here's how they pitched this one.
It's way bigger than a cat.
They called the executives into the room,
and they were like, so we're gonna tell you a story.
And these actors were like, okay.
And then the director didn't say anything for a while.
These days, they were like, are you gonna,
and the director went, booo. And all these they did were so scared. They're like, oh God And then the director didn't say anything for a while. These days, I was like, are you gonna, and the director went, booo!
And all these days, he's so scared.
They're like, oh God, it's a million dollar idea.
We gotta get on board with this.
Let me pitch you this movie, close your eyes,
and stick your hand in this box.
That's the witch's hair.
Really? Because it feels like spaghetti.
No, it's not spaghetti at all.
And you guys were all slimy.
It's a big thing.
Okay, so it seems pretty thick
It's like her hair is like almost like wires like the thickness that you'd find in like a small electrical cable
It doesn't feel like hair. No, no, no, it's totally hair because it it's all is this a meatball that's in the hair
That's like I don't know dandruff or something
That's in the hair. That's like I don't know dandruff or something
Meatball and what is this is a piece of pen a? No, no, no, that's like she has hollow hair. She had a cat her
Okay, put your hand in this. It's the witch's eyeballs really she had like 20 eyeballs that all felt like olives
She had a collection of them
Yeah, with these eyeballs she found no, no, they a collection of them. I don't know. These eyeballs she found.
No, no, they were in her head, I guess, somehow.
So much of you, you want me to believe
that much like the misfit song, 20 eyes.
She had 20 eyes in her head.
So at this point, the movie pictures not go well.
No, the exact kids are really pushing back.
They're like, you really want us over with that boo
at the beginning.
But we were ready to say, if you had stopped the pitch then,
you'd have your movie. Frankly, by continuing with the the pitch you have hurt your chances. Here put your hand
on this. That's just your penis sir. Oh yeah well tell the penis department about it. No
measure for me, would you? I got to write the numbers on this piece of paper and mail it into
the department. I wasn't home when the guy came to measure. You know that's a scam, right? He's
just a perv-o creep. Oh man, all this time.
Well, what if we did a movie about that?
Nope, sorry, got it.
Ah, I was.
It's a hard pass.
You're telling me?
Anyway, so they're at the Bronx Zoo.
They're looking for the woman
and they eventually find her and she is.
She's flipping out.
She's not so crazy.
She is she's scrambling in the dirt scratching at a rock to the point that her fingernails are chipping.
She's mumbling, blathering, ranting.
Some of it is the lyrics to doors songs.
And at this point, if you've seen movies before this movie is going to be using a lot of
short, short hand that you understand, which is if a person's face is all
Waxy and has like smeared makeup, probably a demon.
If somebody has paint on their face, they're a demon in this movie. As seen by the fact that they're like,
they're like, so nobody else is around, huh? Oh well, there's that guy.
Oh yeah, that guy has been painting a wall for hours all day and is in a creepy hood
And they look at him and he turns and looks at them and he's got a face like the crow like Alice Cooper in Prince of Darkness
Like he looks like a crazy evil guy who they've hired to paint and the play and Eric
Well, this is after Eric. Well, you know, you put in the lowest bid to do that
Because his bid was I'll do it for nothing if you let me make people crazy and fill him with demons
But uh the Eric Banna.
That's a pretty good deal.
No, I mean, from dollars for paint point of view,
that's great.
Yeah.
He did all his work at night.
I mean, it only probably brought him
more drugs.
No, he's been working their old day, they said.
He was there in the early day,
just painting away with his roller and everything.
This is after Eric Banna has tried to get the story
out of this crazy woman who was sitting on a bench
handcuffed to it just,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
tassing out.
And.
Yeah, spinning around and going through trees.
He was like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, get somehow being a merchandising juggernaut. Oh my God, he's the bozofet of loonitudes. Get streetwise attitude.
Yeah, yeah.
He got his clothes on, now turn them around.
That's Chris Cross.
He had a character like Mickey Buzzard. Not no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, decides to get straight to the heart by going, hey, what's a matter with you?
Because everyone in this movie also has
super heavy, faking New York accents.
Everyone's like, hey, forget about it.
Oh, demons, I don't know, Yankees.
Hey, oh, oh, oh, hey.
Satan, whoa, I'm walking here.
Forget about it.
It's me, Olivia Munn.
Oh.
I mean, yeah, Olivia is one of the better accents. I have funnier's coming from her
Saying the name certainly it's me Eric Benner. I played the Hulk. Oh, I'm smashing here
From Australia. This is what I sound like
out back accent. It's me Joe McEln. Nobody knows where I'm from whatever. Fuck you. We're about it
Now look at this clip from the real house line. Hey, you'll like it.
Yeah, sounds like a nonchalant, uh, tell you later.
Nonchalant indeed.
The hard chuh that says I've spoken that word before.
I was trying it out, dude.
So after talking to the audience, I appreciate that.
I shouldn't have seen you for trying new things.
You're trying to be the sophisticated one.
So after failing to get an answer with his, hey, what's wrong with you?
He goes, oh, they point out the creepy painting guy.
And he runs after him. Which way does he goes, oh, they point out the creepy painting guy. And he runs after him.
What's weird is he goes, hey, come over here.
And the painting guy just kind of drops his roller
and walks away like whatever.
I don't need to deal with this.
They follow.
It's going to inform his acting choices
for the rest of the movie.
Until the end when he goes super intense.
But, and I have to say this, I always feel so,
so much pity or mercy or. We a pity, but the, uh, what
they mess with the team, man, uh, but for the people who have to play the possessed
villain in these types of movies, they're never the big star. They never get top billing.
Like unless you're Anthony Hopkins in a Hannibal movie,
you have to put in the most physically intense
acting job of the movie, and you get very little credit
because you're essentially a walking special effect
for most of it.
You're gonna be covered in goop, you gotta have like tattoos
carved into your body, because you do that for real, clearly.
And the demon here is played by the guy in Prometheus who gets lost and
is killed by that lamprey monster and then comes back all zombified and kills a couple
people. And he's not a terrible actor. You know, he played, he played a who, the guy
from Joy Division in 24 hour party people. Yeah, yeah. And it like so. So he's real, you
know, typecast. He's they're playing a possessed demon guy
and aliens zombified person or Ian Curtis.
So, but the, so he, they follow him into the zoo
and he leads Eric Banna into a little bit of a trap.
We like to call the lion's den
and that it is a den with two lions in it.
And Eric Banna narrowly escapes
as the goofiest zookeeper in the world tries desperately
to help him out.
It's like they might as well just cast the ghost of Don Nots as the zookeeper.
Like, the character that Dennis Weaver plays in touch of evil that weird hotel keeper,
he seems like a normal human being next to this goofball.
Like, I don't know why a Hanabar bear character suddenly walked into the movie
and started working at a zoo.
But anyway, the style of clash is somewhat with you.
He was assuming he was going to be wiped out and they're going to put an animated character
in his place.
He was just doing the voices.
He thought he was hired originally for the role of Body Double for Hong Kong food.
But uh, so. Yeah, that's all done with motion capture, right? Hong Kong food. But uh, so that's all done with motion capture, right? Hong Kong food.
And body double for Hong Kong food. He was a really weird sequel to body double.
It's similar to the same thing the original movie.
Yeah, Craig Wesson across the street watching Hong Kong food strip.
Just take it off that kimono, I guess, because he leaves the mask on, I say.
We're just jumping out of his janitors clothes.
That's right.
So, when did Brian DePalma stop working with Hannah Barbarian characters?
Was it after scrappy doosisters?
It was really not wait, he made snake eyes, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, snake eyes is full of them
It's called snake eyes because of all the snake men when he did raising jabber jaw with John Lithko and jabber jaw
but
Anyway, so where will we oh yes they go to the zoo they lose the bad guy
But he narrowly escapes me eating by a lion and you learn that in this movie that all animals are evil
They are just like the devil can just control them.
They sent the woman gets transferred her name is Jane gets transferred from the police
station to a mental health facility under the care of a Jesuit priest named Mendoza and
he is a drug dealer.
And he is a cool Jesuit priest.
He smokes. He drinks. He wears a leather jacket, he's got long hair.
He checks out girls butts when they walk by him. He's essentially James Woods in vampires.
Except where his vampires realized, hey, why don't we make this badass like smoking drinking priest
character who fights the evil into the hero of the movie. Here he's like the sidekick guide,
bagger, vans type, who kind of leads.
Well, also like the NYPD guy through.
And he's also this priest is not as cool
as the movie wants to.
Yeah, well, the James Woods character
is also kind of a joke.
Like it's like, hey, what have we made a priest?
Like a real asshole.
Yeah.
Where's this one?
It's just supposed to be like an awesome sexy Latin priest.
I guess so.
This movie basically not to jump too far ahead,
but they try the classic cop plus not a cop
Top and a half we got well, we're at a certain point. He's like
I'm my mind by blowing down like 50% of pop culture for entertainment
75 years and two because after a certain point he's like and not I know that he gets killed spoiler alert
But after a certain point he even stops hanging out with his partner. He's just hanging out with this priest
Yeah, yeah, well his partner does die eventually. So that's part of the reason
That's what happens
Does they make you ride around with a priest when you when you this is and my p-roll law when your partner dies
You're automatically part of the new york penis department? Yes, the New York penis department.
You're automatically partnered up
with whoever you're with at the moment.
Even if they're not a cop, they're a cop now.
Okay.
It's why you see so many,
why you see so many landlord and superintendant cops now,
because they just let the two cops into the building.
One of them dies with like a heart attack
that superintendant is now a cop.
Okay, wow.
I would like to hear your pitch for a cop, not a cop show.
Yeah.
I mean, that's basically every show, but, uh,
let me see if you show.
Yeah, family matters.
That was a cop, not a cop show.
The cop car always load the not a cop, Steve or a cop.
I'm glad he's getting, uh, he's getting co-billing
with the car always load at this point.
Uh, I mean, I don't know.
You can do a cop plus, I don't know, an ice cream vendor.
That's a pretty clear one.
We're all at cone patrol.
So it's a boob movie.
Yes, boob movie.
So I went to another one.
Give us another one.
Boob's cones in this scenario?
Yeah, totally.
Or the ice cream, the dollops of ice cream that are beast.
That feels terrible for everybody.
Delicious dairy lumps. Oh, them. That feels terrible for everybody. Delicious dairy lumps.
Oh, oh God.
It's terrible.
So that's another one.
Give us another cop, not a cop.
We got a cop, of course.
And I don't know what it goes without saying.
I would say a lamp salesman.
OK, what do we call that one?
Well, they're turning the harsh light on the crime.
Okay.
We're gonna be called, we'll call it shades.
Okay, sounds good.
Lambshades.
No, we got it, yeah.
I mean, shades come, the lampshades.
Look at that, shades, lampshades.
Wait, is that like, I guess it's officer shades?
And John and the lampshades.
Like, how do you use the lampshades?
I'm shade.
He's dead and fit to lampshades.
And he went into the lighting business. So, what you're telling man and a lampshade. I'm shade. He's dead in fit to lampshades.
And he went into the lighting business.
So what you're telling me is that lampshades were named
after their inventor and we got the word lamp
because shades was a pre-existing cognate.
And it's just a coincidence that he had shades in his name.
Well, his name was lampshade.
So he was naturally gonna be drawn to lamps.
So he's a moth. Kind of, if that's what you consider lamp be drawn to lamps. So he's a moth?
Kind of, if that's what you consider lampshades to be.
Let's move on.
Okay, so cop not a cop, a couple different ideas.
If you have more suggestions for Stuart, send him in, I guess.
With the hashtag, bad idea.
Right on the letter, your idea.
Stick it down the sewer.
And maybe the Ninja Turtles will enjoy it
because they don't get to go to the movies
Otherwise, they're just gonna pass along to like USA because that's half their fucking shows, dude
Yeah, send it in the sewer so that a chug can find it and have a laugh
Brighten up. It's terrible chuddy existence for a moment
Let's we'll shorten this a little bit it turn they they fun they get called to another house where there's spooky goings on and they find, they go down to the basement, Eric Banna hallucinates a couple
scary things and then he, a dead body literally falls out of the wall and then blotes and
its guts fall out and flies pop out of its eyes.
It was genuinely gross, super cool.
It was really fun to be eating dinner when we watched that part.
I normally am not affected by that shit when I'm eating and this time I was like, all right, well this
is doing stuff. I saw that I'm like, man, I should, I should work out more. And this is,
this end we haven't, I don't know what, I don't want to rise to burst out of my belly.
And I don't think by that point they had gotten yet to the, no, then they follow the address
on that guy's driver drivers license to his apartment
where
they find
all sorts of gross stuff there's roaches everywhere in bags a garbage and a
whole
but no lights
fuck no lights all the lights are out or don't exist there's a whole serial killer
manta collage on the wall of teeth and st and eyes and some
and they go into another room where there's a live dog which of course
jumps out
in st and barks to be scary.
How about a dog scare?
A dog.
And speaking of cat scares,
Joel McAill literally turns
and his flashlight reveals that on the wall right behind him
was a cat that was crucified and then it's chest open up
and it's guts filled out.
It is disgusting.
But it's also for our sins.
But it was also, yeah, Jesus cats. We'll not our sins, but it was also yeah Jesus cats
Because cats were because of the first two cats cat Adam and cat EU what a missed opportunity They could have put in an easy nine lives joke in there. That's right. I would do that
It is was pretty funny just the reveal that right behind him was a crucified cat
Just like you guys really didn't notice anything that was going on in the room, did you?
Now I'm imagining a Jesus cat performing the miracle
of multiplying the fish skeletons for all the other cats.
Nice, nice.
Or riff-riff.
Turning fish into wine.
Well, and right before that was a genuinely kind of cool image
when the dog that jumps out and scares you has,
what looks like a crucifix around its collar,
but like the light pans down and you see that the Jesus on the cross has goat legs.
Yeah, there's a couple of images.
They're like, I'll say this for the movie.
It's fucking gross.
It's super gross.
And I was like, what are we watching NBC's Hannibal with a gun on here?
But there are a couple images in it that are genuinely creepy.
There are moments in it that are genuinely creepy
and disquieting, but mostly it's jump out scares
and like, oh, it's dark now.
It's just shot so dark.
I mean, the guy directed Sinister,
which is another movie that gets most of its atmosphere
because the entire movie is super duper dark.
It looks like he saw seven, and he was like,
I can out dark that.
Let's put more fake rain in the scene.
And the rain in this movie looks terrible.
It's constantly raining in different scenes.
Well, it's not cause of rain.
It's raining in many scenes, and you know how usually
they angle the rain, the splint sprinklers,
they're shooting up so that the rain falls down
in a more natural pattern of gravity.
I don't know how they do it. So they're magic.
A little bit of movie magic for you.
What's the stuff you should know all of a sudden?
Yeah, that's what this movie stuff you should know, movie addition for movies.
But in this, it just looks like everyone standing under the shower heads or just like a row
of lawn sprinklers upside down.
Like the water just falls down straight on everybody's head.
It doesn't look like real rain.
But anyway, that's how they do it.
Yeah, they point the sprinklers up and the rain falls back down because of gravity.
That's why you can't shoot rain scenes on the moon.
That's why when they tried to shoot the sequel to singing in the rain, singing in the
rain on the moon, it was a huge flop.
The dancing was amazing.
Oh, it was in almost zero
G. Oh, man. Donald Loughborough was so acrobatic. Yeah. Unfortunately, unfortunately, to do that
part, he had to get out of his space suit and his blood boiled and exploded. So it was the loss of
one of America's great song and dance clowns, but still they fixed it in post. They find out that
there is a that here's here's the link between these people is that they are all they all served in a rack together these three guys the guy who was hitting his wife and the
We're the creepy painter dude and this guy who was killed and stuffed into the basement full of maggots
I don't know guys get accepted into the the army. Well, they weren't demon men first. I mean, and two, they were
Marines. Still, Murray was in the army and strives, right? Yeah. And Stripe is a Gremlin.
How they let him into the army. It's crazy. He can barely talk. All I can say is Gizmo
Magwai, yum yum. You know, it's very, you can barely just... He said Gizmo Kaka. He did say
Gizmo Kaka. That's true. It was a little not a lot of men. It's a technicality
all in sort of form a complete sentence. He can swear. He'll do fine in this man's army. He understands the cause
I don't know. They realize we got one we got one recruit. We throw him in the pool to see if he can swim suddenly we got 30 recruits
This is like this is I think we can we fixed our stop loss problem everybody
But I think I'm storming the beach in Normandy like that would be an unstoppable force. Yeah, unfortunately probably joined forces with the Nazis
I mean, they're kind of more chaotic chaotic evil rather than
Wow, check out your D&D
Yeah, Dan and Dan
This is real as D&D stuff really looking forward to somebody whipping up a quick bit of fan art of
a grandma's story in the beach.
No, it's Stripe Fighting Hitler.
It's that Captain America number one cover of it.
It's Stripe Bunching Hitler out and singing Hitler, sing Hitler Kaka.
He's singing with a mouthful of Hitler.
Hitler has to escape by driving a little Barbie remote control car away.
There's a legend. There's a win-1 for Uncle Sam underneath it.
So is so is so is that Galaghen?
I had not seen this reading of it and his gizmo and Nazi.
I think gizmo is the ordinary German citizen who has been transformed.
I see. But then it seems like the Gremlin is the perfect metaphor for that.
How did Stripefical Mejero?
Well, Stripe's got a mohawk.
He's got attitude.
Yeah.
He is rude.
And he's easily identified.
And he's crude if he says kaka.
Sure.
So Joe Dante, right in, if you have some thoughts about this. So anyway, they put the whole thing together these three guys were in the Marines two of them started a painting company together
And for some reason it was not until after they started the painting company that the demon that they woke up in a rack decided to come help them
He finds that they've been painting. You don't think it helped them the paint
You know you think it like helped them secure that small business loan?
That must be it.
This isn't really zoned as an office space, but I suppose I could pull some strings.
Fetal strings.
Why shouldn't give you this loan, but I guess I'll arm wrestle you for it.
Oh, demon string.
It's like, so you have a recommendation from mr. B. Elzebub.
I assume that's Bill Elzebub down at a weird time.
We're saving the lemon guy, Elliot. What is the name of this guy?
His name is Santino. Oh, that sounds eerily like Lucifer.
No, sounds like Satan or as we were saying, it's like the great Santini.
Robert de Balles character was just demonic.
Like he threw his basketball so hard at his son's chest
that it just burst through.
But anyway, he looks through,
Eric Bannon goes to look through some surveillance footage
and footage from the Iraqi,
all soldiers guys.
And he's seeing blips of a bloody man's face
that nobody else is noticing.
And he's hearing children's laughter
that Joel McHale does not notice.
And Joel McHale is mainly busy flipping us stuff.
He's deaf to the laughter of Joel McHale.
He's so busy flipping his knife over and over again
and starting to peel an apple that we never see him eat.
That he says, no, I don't know about that.
He finds that the painters were all painting
over the same scratched in devil latin inscription
and they do a shitty job of panic they do a bad but this uh... the wife of the uh...
who's of the wife beater she goes all he hits office the friends came by and they
painted it for free and they walk in and it is the worst painting job
they stop well below the molding
it's patchy the the strokes to the't look like it was taped or anything.
No, not at all.
It looks they look like they did one coat, no undercoat, nothing.
It's just like.
It's probably not Benjamin Moore.
No, it's not it's probably one red devil paint.
Or possibly some kind of off brand paint like Satan's choice.
It's something like that.
You know, loose a color.
You know, something like that.
Why that like the devil store?
Yeah, yeah, down at a, at St. Williams, yeah.
So anyway, untrue value, because he's the Lord of Lies.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah, like true value hardware.
We're so amazing.
Yeah.
So there's also, there's, he, anyway, his daughter also has a
stuffed owl in her room, which the devil decides to take.
In a fucking old timetimey crank music box.
Like, who gives their kid that?
And the devil decides these are the two things that he's gonna go after
be spooky because he has no new ideas.
There's a, but he's, but he finds that pictogram underneath it's a pictogram
from a cave in Iraq.
What are you gonna say, Dan?
No, I just like the devil really enjoys playing puppets with toys.
Like that's, well, because I guess the devil didn enjoys playing puppets with toys. Like that's a...
Well, because...
I guess the devil didn't have toys when he was a kid and that's why it's a meme.
It's like, now that the devil is rich, he's buying all the stuff he couldn't have as a kid.
So, like, that's why the devil has is really big on playing SNES.
I couldn't get this...
I couldn't get hyper-zone when I was a kid.
Now I'll play it.
It's kind of a middling shooter. It's pretty generic
I don't know why you'd bother with that one night trap. Did you ever play it? It's on Sega CD
It's crazy dude
Sewer shark is that one of them I can't remember
Did no but we even say a CD came out no one liked it. I can't believe you spent your you're supposed
I went on eBay and I tracked down all the original releases
I have that Sherlock Holmes game.
Yes, I'm a, I kind of noticed there was less evil in the world.
I didn't realize because he was so busy tracking down a complete Sega CD collection.
I got 32X.
I want to play some 32 bit games.
Just get a Saturn.
I don't understand why.
Why would you bother with 32X?
So there is a great scene where he scratches off the paint and reveals this Latin inscription
on the wall.
And then he's also looking at his laptop and watches video footage of the soldiers in
Iraq finding the exact same inscription on a tomb wall.
And you see Eric Bannis slowly turned the computer to double check this.
He's asking for shit.
As Stuart said, and we're watching it
for the dummies in the audience.
I would love to be like,
put like a pencil next to each pictogram
and then like looked up and like,
all right, that one.
And that one.
The only way they could have...
Oh, no, this one is it.
Oh, no, no, no, it is.
Okay. The only way they could have spelled it out
more for the audience is if Eric Banna literally said, it the same one and then the devil showed up and said yes, it's a devil thing
You got me you got me. It's the sea in act three
And then what shook his hand and left
Vote for me
Running for alderman. Oh
vote for me. I'm running for alderman. Oh, okay.
Holder minute of the broadcast.
Yeah, I was going to say another
that was an elected position.
Oh, yeah, yeah, devil.
Yeah, you serve out up to three
three-year terms.
Okay.
It should be three-six-year terms,
but they did not think it through at the time.
The hell constitutional convention was so contentious,
they could barely compromise on anything.
That's why sometimes you got a really evil devil,
and sometimes you get like the devil on like those devil hands.
Or really not so much.
That's why you go into the polls and you're just like,
well, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just voting
for the greater of two evils right now.
That's the best I can hope for.
So she goes to see Jane, the woman from the zoo,
in the, in the mental hospital with Mendoza, the priest,
and the Dr. Andudi is not happy to let them in.
He is a nerd.
He is a real nerd who refuses to get up from his desk.
And when they go, he shows Jane the picture.
Probably reading a fucking zoo book or something.
Yeah, Ranger Rick or some shit, nerd.
Because he's apparently a little kid too. Reading a zoo book. Yeah, you Rick or some shit nerd because he's apparently a little kid
Yeah, yeah, I'm a pot of mess who gives a shit. I'm busy reading up on old world monkeys
So he shows Jane his phone with a that he took a picture of the inscription and she responds by like laughing and then biting his arm till blood just flows. Now this is a common mistake.
She read his name, which is Eric Banna,
and she thought, must be Eric Bonanna.
She's wrong, it's Eric Banna.
I made the same mistake.
But you've been there, I think he was a bonnet.
He was a bonnet.
And blood went everywhere.
Because he's a human feeling, I guess.
Unlike most people, all of his blood
is just blood at first layer of skin cells
It's really cool about it. No, he was totally he's like this happens all the time
I might get cheers this happens all the time
Bonza
The number of bloody shea Les who have bit me on
Yeah, do you do you want an autograph and still like no thanks?
He's hiding you you were the worst Hulk got to go what about it not
It was right cook among
I don't know that's I guess that's not
Yeah, that was what he sounded like in flawless
starring Philipsy more Hoffman and Robert De Niro
Is that the movie where the guy takes the drug becomes flawless?
His brain has no flaws.
That's it.
We know that would be terrible.
All the wrinkles smooth out of his brain and he loses all of his knowledge.
We really shouldn't have invented this brain smoothening drug.
It turns out people are not that bothered by the wrinkles in their brain.
Basically the like a reverse flowers were out of the dog, right?
Yeah.
Which he goes from smart to dumb
and then what smart again at the end is life is fine.
They found a super intelligent mouse and gave it dumb drugs.
And then he got smart again.
Which they also just called drugs.
You make a good point.
You make a good point.
That's what the blind stands for.
I guess there's a reason they don't make movie
about movies about magic drugs that make you dumb.
Yeah.
Because that's just what drugs do.
Don't you drugs kids?
Yeah, drugs support me until for dumb drugs.
Yeah, it's just like, had it's for head, had it.
For head, had it.
Everyone remembers that famous part, man.
So Mendoza explains that this inscription is some kind of Christian pagan inscription
that opens a portal to let a demon into the human world.
And some people are more susceptible to demons than others.
And guess what? Eric Banna's cop has this special magic demon radar power that means that it's easier for demons to drive him super nuts.
So, and it has to do with they talk about how Mendosa talks about how he was a big sinner before he became a priest.
And it is a really cool conversation in a bar that's in the back of a firehouse.
Yeah.
Like the only way you can get in there is like going through a firehouse.
We're like firemen in the work, not the house that's on fire throughout all of Sinectig
A. New York.
Not that house at all.
Okay.
But also this is where you realize, oh, this is why they're playing the doors because they're trying to open a door
Which is they keep singing break on through to the other side because guess what Satan's trying to do
He's trying to
Oh, I get it. He's trying to mojo rising
It is the dumbest use of a song since I think when they were all singing time is on my side in what's it called?
Ascension?
Fallen?
No, I think the dumbest use of a song is still
that love scene in the Watchmen movie.
Oh, and they sang Hallelujah?
Yeah, that was the duck.
That was pretty bad.
That's the worst thing I've ever seen.
So they go to the apartment building
where some stuff happens and.
There's this great scene where they're in that bar behind the firehouse.
And the priest is like, dude, you want to hear some fucking crazy shit.
And he's like, I don't want to hear your band bro.
So he pulls out his fucking tube.
No, no, no, no, no, no, it's called stigmata.
And it's a totally cool Christian rock band.
Yeah, crucifictorious.
He pulls out his zoom and Eric Banna pops in those fucking earbuds and he hits play.
And whoo. He listens to audio of a real exorcism. He pulls that as soon and Eric Manopops in those fucking earbuds and he hits play and whoa.
He listens to audio of a real exorcism.
Super scary.
It's much scarier than listening to audio of a real circumcision,
which is just a baby crying and someone spouting Hebrew and everyone in the family look it away.
Because it's...
You don't believe it, look at it.
Well, here's the thing, and this will make me sound like a monster.
When my son was circumcised, everyone else was kind of horrified and looked away,
but I wanted to see how this worked.
So I was watching the whole time, and I found it fascinating.
Mm-hmm.
And I was like, that's what they did to my penis when I was a baby.
Chopped off half of it, right? That's what happens.
Not half. That's what you do.
They take out a tiny guillotine, and they just cut it in half.
Like a little cigar chopper, like a glass pan?
There is like a little cigar chopper and they just cut it in half. Like a little cigar chopper, like a duck pan?
There is like a little cigar chopper
that they use in part of it.
Unless someone write in and tell me
if I used a very unprofessional oil.
But anyway, that's a special one.
You can do the Gracho Mark's impression.
There's a, yeah, you know,
when he took the four skin and wagled it like a cigar
and said, hello, I must be going
and then just flicked it out the window.
And I was like, that's biological waste.
Grounds your markstone.
Dr. Tails.
What?
Soup tails.
You're thinking of brain donors.
Anyway, moving along, they go to a building where the abusive husband from before, who's
now turned into a full on beast man.
And I forgot to say that earlier, he attacked Eric Banna and then all fours galloped away
through a window like a leaveschriberin Wolverine.
And they fight that guy.
And meanwhile, Joe McHale has the misfortune of falling a foul of Santino,
who in one of the most lazy fights I've seen in a long time, it's Axe versus Knife
and Santino just kind of like hits him with an ax a lot. And Joel McHale just gives up
at a certain point.
Yep. Yeah. It's just, yeah. It's like it's time for my character to, it's just stand
up, Joel McHale. Just literally just stand up
Dan Harman's back on community. It's time for me to go
Chevy left. Okay, I'm done with this movie. I'll go back to that and
I'm like yeah, I like that it's like right me out like the screenwriter is just on set
Yeah, you're in the end of the movie make a big fight or something take me out of the fight
We all it was all that about your whole arc
There's the all the foreshadowing with you and that's and that knife
Why why would we put that in if not to use it later whatever whatever? I don't know
But uh six seasons of movie. I at this point. I was not sure why those evil characters were hanging around that building still
The here's the the villains this movie can't tend to like hang around in places
They think the heroes will show up in and then attack the heroes and then run away.
It's kind of like how occasionally taken a bite of the Erkman.
It's been a couple times.
It's like how in the Tim Burton Batman, the first one Batman's bat plane crashes into a building that all the Joker's
henchmen just happened to already be hiding in to be ready to Batman? Like he's in the level from a video game.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I mean, like Gotham City at that point
was lousy with Joker, Joker Hinchman.
Do you think every building in the city
had some Joker Hinchman in it, just in case?
Yeah, I mean, he converted the populace pretty quickly.
Like, look at all these great Wilson's leather jackets,
I get to wear.
So I want a lot of money.
Well, there's a lot of money going on.
He goes, he goes, Batman, I'm giving out free money.
Now who do you trust?
And it's like, well, I mean, I like you more
because you give me money.
I don't still don't trust you.
You're a hideous clown man.
Conjured up a parade out of nowhere
with like a big duck float or something.
And now your throat is horrifying balloons I've ever seen.
And like, to be honest,
and you destroyed the art gallery.
Yeah, those were prices paintings and you destroyed the art gallery.
Yeah, those were prices paintings,
except for the Francis Bacon of all things,
the painting nobody likes,
and the idea that I gave you money,
so you trust me, right?
No, if anything, I'm kind of wondering
where this money came from.
It seems kind of shady,
but I like that you gave me money.
And it probably smells weird.
Yeah, oh, sure,
it smells like a Joker keeps it in his armpit.
Yeah, like, smilex or whatever. It's well
Yeah, does the money have smilex on it? I don't remember
I don't know if you have smilex in them. Okay, should just put it on the money. Yeah
Then they're
smeared all over them because that's what you do with money when it flies off of a parade flows
Just smeared on your face. Yeah, like oh, that's so good. Oh
Like a perfume sample?
Yes, it's like, when you walk through a mall
and they're just spraying money at you,
everywhere you're like, stop it.
I smell like everyone's pants pockets.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Smell like the inside of an automated teller machine.
Like a clowns hanker, too.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Clowns hanky is a perfume that I'd like to see them
sell it from Calvin from Kevin clown been
clown.
Calvin clown.
I'm just clapping.
I'm missing all the obvious funds tonight.
Calvin clown would do it so that one.
Anyway, he's the he's unhappy.
He's been losing it getting mad at his family.
Eric Banna, he has a wife and a daughter.
We haven't really mentioned it.
Eric Banna is supposed to be spending too much time at work,
but we clearly saw him attending his daughter's soccer game
earlier, so I know what that's all about.
So that's a good dad's, I could add.
He finds out that his wife and daughter have been kidnapped
by Santino.
He is not happy.
And stealing a card from seven and other movies that are
too lazy to have the hero actually finds the villain.
Santino just shows up in Eric Banna's house because it's time for act three and tells him,
hey, will you let a demon inside you?
Because then I'll tell you where your wife and daughter is.
He says no and arrest Santino.
Santino is no longer putting up a fight.
He's not biting anybody except himself for the rest of the movie because the devil is very conscious of plot structure and how
much time is left in the movie. And that it's act three now, we got to get moving. They
have an exorcism in an interrogation room. And frankly, I was thinking while you're watching
it, it would be a pretty neat concept to have an exorcism done at like a police interrogation
where they're prized in the copper acting good cut bad cut, but they're not.
It's just your standard interrogation scene.
They yell a lot of Latin prayers at him while he just screams and it like the lights flicker
on and off and he bites his own leg and then he extends his neck back for no reason.
This is where he starts.
And he's got lots of words carved into him.
Yeah, like Zaz.
Like Zaz, but with words.
It's like if Zaz meets
Momento. In a movie I like to call the murderer and the memory man. This is
where I started dozing off. Was there ever any payoff to like the other cop
who came and like looked in the window and he's like, what the hell? No, he just
said, I'm going on there. He just said, what the fuck a couple times. Oh, here. So I skipped over
part of all those. He's a post-cred credit scene we didn't see. Yeah, a stinger.
Where he's waiting and he's like, guys,
are you gonna book this guy or what?
But, somebody let me out of this interrogation.
I've lost my key.
I mean, it really seemed like the next scene was like him
like breaking in with a bunch of other cops
to shut down this rogue exorcism that was going to be.
That would have been, that would have made sense.
That didn't happen. Yeah.
But then he saw, I guess, the real exorcism
and he was like, gotta go. I forgot to,. Yeah. But then he saw, I guess, the real ecstasy, when he was like, got to go.
I forgot to, there's a part where Mendoza, after, uh, the drug dealing.
After, after Joan the Kailas killed, Eric Bann reveals to Mendoza, the drug dealing priest,
that, uh, there's a darkness in his soul.
And he's had it ever since he, when he was off duty once, he knew that there was a child killer on the
loose.
And where the desk sergeant is giving everyone their assignment, he goes, this guy's,
he's had 11 counts of child assault, and now two accounts of child murder.
So go out and get this guy off the streets.
And it's like, how do you know he did so many things with this?
I mean, catch him.
But where Eric Banna walks by a crime scene
where six-year-old girl has been killed
and stuffed in a garbage can,
thus producing the second of the garbage bail.
Talk about a garbage bail kit.
As Stuart said, it's okay, they're fictional characters.
It's not real.
Eric Banna, even though he was out with his family,
he notices that he's so horrified with the crime scene
and then he recognizes the killer has shown up to be a spectator
He chases after him and then just punches him to death. He is not brought up on charges
I guess he does him full street justice and the thing is the movie goes so like they
They bring this up in the first place because it's supposed to be something that haunts him like some some sin that is haunting and so this
Image that he's been that's been flashing in his memory
is the bloody face this guy killed
and the laughter of the children who are at the scene.
But they make no effort to actually make it seem
like he did anything wrong in this case.
Like they made this guy clearly
had to be some kind of demon monster.
He's the worst the worst.
He's a child killer child rapist.
It's like the it's like how in Rambo,
just to make sure you're not on board
with the leader of the evil
Burmese military guys, they also make him a pedophile. They've stacked the deck so far in favor of
you not really caring that Eric Manne killed somebody because he's the evilest man that ever lived.
This side of Santini, the devil man. And then does it's like, I'm so terrible for him.
Because the worst sin of all is not loving your children.
Hi, I'm Paul Duffie.
I'm Paul Duffie.
I'm Paul Dano from there will be blood where the guy abandoned his boy.
Pretty bad, right?
He was not a good dad.
He was a bad dad, much like Gerard Butler in the movie.
Bad dad, soccer dad. Don't be like that. Be a good dad. He was a bad dad, much like Gerard Butler in the movie, bad dad soccer dad. Don't be like
that. Be a good dad. I'm Paul Dano. The more you know, the
more I don't know, I'd like to change my name officially to
Paul dad. Just to show how much I support dad's. Hi, I'm
Patrick Duffy, star of step by step, and other things too.
And I'm here to talk to you about dads.
Have one today.
I've been so much to you now.
I've been so much to you now.
I've been changing my name to dad, Drick Duffy.
To Patrick Daddy.
But that would be creepy.
Hello.
Because then people would call me Mr. Daddy when I showed up at hotels, and that's weird.
Hey, Dan.
Hello, I'm Pete Inny.
I'm Peter Celebrity with the initials PD. Gotta go.
Not even a change is known to P daddy. It's right there. Or penis department.
penis. Diddy. Hi, I'm penis. Diddy, a song about a penis that goes like this. Diddy, diddy, diddy, diddy.
Whoa.
Hi, my name's daddy to companyovny. I'm David DeCovny's dad. And I'd like to talk to you about being
a dad. Welcome to my new show The D-Files. The D does not stand for dad. It stands for
Dick. I'm a member of the NYPD, not the New York Penis Department, the New York penis department, the New York police dicks. We solve penis-related crimes using only our penises.
The more you know, let me stop this tape right there.
Are the rest of these NBC public service promos all about penises?
Yeah, we got out of the horror movie business because that pitch we did about the hair and
the eyeballs didn't go so well.
We got into this.
They seem to be working along that cop
plus not a cop formula.
You know, in this case, it's penis, not a penis.
And dads are involved somehow.
Well, absentee fathers are a major problem.
But what does that have to with penises?
Well, you can't be a dad without a penis.
Let's just get one thing straight.
Please leave my office.
So anyway, there's a whole, so he has that sin because he killed that guy.
They have the whole exorcism, it goes on for a long time.
And it is one of these things where, here's one I'm just going to say.
And you know what, this might be controversial.
A whole mile away.
Thank you.
You don't know what it is.
You're welcome.
I've always thought exorcisms are not scary
because I don't believe in that religion.
And I don't buy into that basic premise.
But they're especially not scary
because here's how an exorcism goes.
A demon is restrained in some way.
It's yelling at you.
You yell back at it and eventually it leaves.
You're like, get out of here, demon.
Go, get out of here.
So like essentially,
get along, little demon.
Kind of.
In the name of Christ, go away.
And the demon's like, oh, you got me.
I didn't know you knew that Jesus trick.
I didn't realize you knew that the evil,
that the enemy of demons is the most famous religious figure
on the planet.
Gotta go, I guess.
But you deal with the demon the same way you deal with like a homeless man under your window
who won't go away, who's yelling really loud,
he's like, hey, go away, go away.
And then he does.
So this demon is never a threat to them in this scene
and they defeat him, they manage to expunge the demon,
they expel him, and then they find his wife and daughter,
turns out they were with the paint truck,
and they have another baby, and Mendoza baptizes the baby.
And they go, do you reject Satan and all his evil
or whatever, and Eric Banna,
he might as well have looked at the damn camera, goes, yes.
And he totally winks.
And then the credits are all.
Big twist ending here, reject Satan.
This twist ending is that he doesn't turn.
If only, yeah, if only the end credits played with like,
please, to meet you.
Yeah.
Simity for the devil.
Simity for the devil.
Simity for the devil.
Please, to meet you.
Please, to meet you on the devil.
Because I like to call songs by just random lines
that are in them.
That is not the, that is the most well-known line.
You're in every song.
It's not the name of the song.
You know that great Billy Joel song, Harry Truman Dars Day.
Mr. Maloney down a mulligan street.
What?
What?
Moving up.
Moving up, yeah.
So this is time to make our final
judgments on this movie. Was it totally
scarifying, totally snorifying, or frightening
and funny? In my case, it was literally
snorkeling. Literally for you to sleep.
I'm going to invent a new category called
category, category. I'm going to invent a new
category called grossly
goopifying. Because it was a really
gory, gross movie. And I have to admit,
there was part of me that like
It was a little too gory at times, but it like it was disgusting
Yeah, but it was like a little tummy. It is it my my tummy was like good thing
There's only Popeyes fried chicken in here because that's like it like having a velvet pillow or a silk
Silk shawls in here. It's so soft otherwise. I might be a pizukin all over the place, but
because it's shawls in here. It's so soft.
Otherwise, I might be pizukin' all over the place.
But the fact to see, I haven't seen a lot of Marm and horror movies
that are actually like gross out movies.
Yeah.
They're usually just jump out and scare you in movies
with their like sadistic torture movies.
And it was nice to see a movie
that had some gross, gory stuff in it.
But almost all the scares were just like quiet, quiet, quiet.
Boo, a thing jumped at you.
And that got very repetitive.
It was a very like generic movie.
It felt very stitched together from other horror movies.
Yeah.
Though it did have a great scene where a crazy lady
kills a doctor and then walks toward the camera
holding the ring of keys in her mouth like a puppy.
Oh, I forgot about that.
Yeah, Jane escapes merely so that she can jump off a building
in front of Eric Banna's car.
And Eric Banna acts reacts to this like nothing like someone off a building in front of Eric Banna's car. And Eric Banna reacts to this like,
like, someone through a can in the street.
Eric Banna's reactions to most things in this movie are like,
I guess I got another dead body on my hands.
In this movie, you have the most apathetic cop
versus the most apathetic demon controlled man.
They're both kind of like, whatever, okay.
But I forgot the part where Jane escapes.
She kills the doctor who came to bring her some lunch, I guess. And yeah, she crawls out
with the keys in her mouth and her eyes wide open, staring at the camera like, are you
buying this? And everyone in this movie would be scarier if they didn't have a lot of goopy
clown paint on their face. But it's like, it's hard for me to believe these as real people
who were possessed by a demon when they're already painted up like a fucking jugalow.
Yes.
So Stuart, what was your judgment?
What are the fucking categories again?
He saw it was snorfying.
Okay.
It was snorfying with a dash of goopy gross, goobly guts.
Go for guts.
Yeah, go for guts.
This is a camp sing along. Yeah. Yeah, goobly, go for guts. Yeah, go for guts. This is a camp sing along. Yeah, yeah, go
eat worms. So what's the next part of this podcast? So we talked about the delivers from
you. Do we do every week? What do we do now? Well, now we, the computer and we leave
turn on the lights, letters from listeners before. Is this the part where one of us kisses
you Dan and you have your eyes closed and you have to guess which one of us it is? Wait,
were you not recording those all this time? You said it was the most where one of us kisses you Dan and you have your eyes closed and you have to guess which one of us it is. And wait, were you not recording those all this time?
You said it was the most popular part of the podcast.
You went immediately towards that.
You jumped to that so quickly.
Like there's no evidence for that.
Um, well, I knew it all the time.
I was just in it for the anonymous kisses.
So before we...
Which is also the name of my erotic append name,
anonymous kisses. Well, the story is that he's Greek
before you get into
for you to the normal letters I want to thank some people for sending us gifts
uh the first is for me they're always for you I rarely get gifts which is fine
I'm not I'm not fishing for gifts It's a gift from Lawrence Allen who writes,
hi Dan, I didn't know what to get you,
but then I remember that you like butts.
So here's a movie about them.
Anyway, hang in there, buddy.
The Flopnace was pulling for you from Lawrence Allen.
And you got me, Tinto Bress's cheeky.
Oh, a classic movie about butts from.
That I admit that I'm already familiar with,
but now I'm glad to
I want a copy display it proudly in your home. The unrated English version so. So would you
call Tinto brass the poet laureate of butts? I would call them that. It's amazing how some
directors have themes Alfred Hitchhawks would often be like the fear of being accused of a crime you didn't commit.
And Francis Ford Covello's would be what like that Jack was too old for his age.
And Stephen Spielberg is often about the wonder of innocence and childhood and dinner
dresses as butts.
Well, I mean, there's so many movies out there about subjects that aren't worth a movie
being about, like, you know, a cop doing
exorcisms or something.
And finally, there's a movie out there about something that is an endless source of.
Yeah.
Celebration of the pinnacle of human existence.
Yeah.
Is it a coincidence that his last name has asked in it?
Did it don't press?
What do you mean, like, if it's a coincidence?
I mean, it's like, I don't know.
What's a coincidence?
Explain that phenomenon to me.
I don't know.
Very different from Tintin brass.
I want it.
Nope.
Done with Tintin jokes.
I wonder what the actual Italian name of this movie is.
I assume that the cheek is not cheeked
because of Trans-French play. Like like whatever's Italian for butts. Yeah. Um, so thank you very
much, Lauren. There's a special feature on this called backstage with
Tinto breast. Mm, you know what that means. Mm-hmm.
Butts. Yeah. What else you got there, Dan? Uh, this goes like this.
Okay. Says dear like this. Okay.
It says,
Oh, thanks.
not a doctor who fan, I actually hate that show. The Grey Owl bow ties for Elliott
because of his no-at-all tendencies
and they were, and how they remind me of a cartoon owl.
Oh, thanks.
The multi-colored one is for Stuart
because it is the most spooks per square inch.
Okay.
The glow in the dark spider web bow ties.
That was because I don't know, like an international guy.
Wait, why does the international guy get a lot?
You're the best source for dudes.
I'm a cosmopolitan fellow.
The glow-in-the-dark spider web bow ties for Dan
because Dan is my favorite, I wanted him after the coolest one.
Well, thank you.
Owls are pretty cool.
Stay spooky fellas.
Yours truly.
Liz middle name young.
If you wanted to plug my bow tie store subtlestituary dot
Etsy dot com that would be cool subtle stitchery yeah subtle stitchery dot
Etsy dot com thanks for the bow ties you can even though they were a way of
just having us mention your business what do we start Jones that are
wedding so the great should we take some pictures of us tying each other up
erotically with these bow ties I don't think we should do that. Oh, and they're a they're the easy type of Botai. You don't have to
You don't have to spend a lot to get them in the sack. Yeah
There you go. Just take them to like I'm like non-alens or
I mean to put a little bit of effort into it like a chucky cheezers chucky cheezers
Like a Chuckie cheezers. Chuckie cheezers.
Chuckie teasers.
So Stuart, when do your business card start saying
Cosmopolitan fellow?
Because they should.
But this bow time, even though this is the easy kind,
I'm still having trouble with it.
I think my neck is too fat.
I think all these bow ties were made a little too slim
on the neck to make us feel bad
Or to strengthen us to death. I got it. I got it. I finally tighten it up. It's flop guys. All right
There you go. This is the music you tighten up bow ties to
How's my look Dan? This is great. It's amazing. I look like a genius. I'll use a great podcasting
So you everyone who's listening can see us with our bow ties on, right?
Dan, what do we need another letter or something?
Hold on, we gotta get out of my pocket.
Well, great producing.
This is why we want all those parties.
It is not an award for podcasts, but an award for things that belong in the toilet.
I do like the field of Spote, though.
It looks good on you. It matches your polo shirt.
Yeah, yeah, I guess it does.
It doesn't go very well with your newspaper boy cap.
No, it doesn't, which is turned backwards.
Because it's like, it doesn't cool like Joe Pantoliano.
So this first one goes like this,
dear flopsy, moopsy and Cottontail.
About six months after listening to episode 155, I saw a copy of last Vegas in the dollar
bin at the grocery store.
I was delighted to see that your critique was...
That's a well-street.
That's a well-street.
A well-street.
I was delighted to see that your critique of this walking bi-agre pill was spot on.
Given your obvious ability to tell the future,
I have a role-playing slash choose-run adventure question
for each of you.
Dan, if you couldn't be the titular hero,
and would it still be titular if she was called
but see the vampire slayer?
Which character?
There's gotta be something called that already.
Which character on the Buffy,
Weedon versus most like you?
Elliot, leaving aside Spidey Parker, which character in the Marvel make money handover
of Fist Universe is most like you?
Do, if you couldn't be one of the power triumvirate of Luke Leah Hahn, which character
in the Star Wars Marvel, more money than God Universe is most like you?
Now I'd say that I'm sort of a combo zander jiles.
I combined the I don't know these characters.
I combine the under appreciated love ability yet no one cares about him.
This of zander and the tweety disproval of jiles.
Okay, I'll take your word for it. I don't know that show that well.
No, I think that's fair.
I'd like to think that if I'm not
like a Modak type.
Yeah, well, I'd like to think if I'm not Spider-Man,
like Nightcrawler or Beast, but I'm probably Modak.
Just a little guy in a chair complaining about stuff
and designed only for killing.
I mean, I think I think it's pretty clear.
I think if I was in the Star Wars universe,
I would be the, you know,
the eternal best friend and height man.
Gredo.
Chubaka, aka Stubaka.
That's interesting.
I have a large-sized Chubaka.
I also know how to use un I'm proficient in bocast to use.
Yeah.
We have a large Chubaka toy at home that my son
Samu likes to play with and lately he's been putting his old shoes on it.
Mm-hmm.
So I realized my son has invented his first pun, Chubaka.
Nice.
I'm very proud of him.
This next letter is along these lines, exactly.
Because you're reading it.
Beerus peaches.
For years, my father has been insisting
that I watch the Wayne's brothers,
dwarf slash cat burglar movie, Little Man.
It has become a running joke for us.
Prem is stolen from a Warner Brothers cartoon.
But it is based in his genuine affection for the piece.
I recently gave him the criterion edition
of Little Muru for his birthday.
I think it's falling on deaf ears. And he refuses to watch it with me unless I watch Little Man alone first.
He wants you to watch a loan not even with him because he doesn't want to like
fuck up your experience. He doesn't want to buy us it. Yeah. Because he loves it so much. He's
going to be saying all the lines along at the same time. He's going to be slapping him on the
like when watch this part, watch this part. He's gonna get up and start play acting
at some of the scenes like no theater.
My resistance might break soon.
Dan, I assume they've shown this movie on planes.
Is it really that bad?
What should I do?
Brian last name without.
I've never, I've not seen little man.
Does anyone see him?
He haven't seen.
And like, I mean, in the world.
So I got govann over here. I remember the trailer. Yeah. Has anyone seen the one? You haven't seen it. I mean, in the world. So I got govann over here.
I remember the trailer.
Yeah.
I remember seeing the trailer and saying,
that was the plot of a Bugs Bunny cartoon, sir.
And you are no Bugs Bunny.
And you wins are no Bugs Bunny.
But yeah, I haven't seen it.
I've seen Little Man Tate.
Yeah, I've seen Little Big Man.
That was the same movie.
We've seen those. Yeah. I've seen little big man. That was the same movie. We've seen those. Yeah,
I've seen big trouble in little man China. See man on fire. Little man. I wish I was watching
Dan on fire. The movie where Dan takes revenge. Oh, okay. By sticking a grenade in somebody's
butt. You just wanted to set me on fire and I wasn't very happy with it. Yeah, that is not a good
thing to do. That's the wicker Dan is the movie where I say Dan's fight. Wicker Dan, you put an English policeman inside a Dan
and then set it on fire.
So, killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey.
That's true.
That's true.
Oh, but it sells pretty well in the farmer's market.
Stuart Wellington's goddamn honey.
It's all farm fresh.
So, sorry, we haven't seen little man.
Don't know what to tell you.
Yeah.
When one of them flop contests.
I think your dad might not be the right person to watch Akiru as brilliant a movie as
it is.
So last letter of the evening, dear floppers, while listening through archived episodes,
I've been delighted again and again by all the references to phantasm.
You see, my father was a phantasm fan when I was a kid
Phantasm back before I'd ever heard of anyone but him back before I had ever heard anyone but him talk about the movie as a result
It is the first horror film I can ever remember seeing and I saw it quite a tender age
The first time I ever saw a VCR in my life was when my father rented one just to watch a tape of Phantasm he had acquired.
He recorded some audio.
Mysterious means.
He recorded some audio.
He all started with some tuning for it.
He recorded some audio from it, specifically the sequence leading up to the famous cry of boy.
And later used that tape for atmosphere as he passed out Halloween candy.
He even had my fifth birthday. Not just like a dream dinner
To wake you up in the morning or anything
You eat a good dinner boy. Now do your chores. He even had my fifth birthday cake inscribed you play a good game girl
This would have been in November 1979. I think they were referenced on deaf ears.
I'm including links to two photos of my fifth birthday cake.
One, including me, my clothing should prove it was the late 1970s.
And one, just with the cake, and it's fantastic.
If you're not courting up that day's newspaper, then I don't like to.
I hope you enjoy.
And she has a PS.
I graduated from her own college in 1996,
which I think means I'm probably a little too old
to have met the early might floppers there.
Yeah, that was when I graduated from high school.
So we just missed each other.
I was still in high school, but I'm a good girl.
I'm probably swimming in my dad's ball sack back then.
But...
1996? That doesn't make any sense.
This is from Heather last name with hell.
Unless you had some sort of an inner space accident
and were injected into it. So I have the photos from Heather an inner space accident and we're injected into it
So I have the photos from Heather last name with held and I they're
They are adorable
It's so the phantasm cake with a five-year-old girl
What's weird is that everything everything else in the room in the room party room is peanuts themed. It's all snoopy
So I guess a lot of people at the party were like, I don't remember Snoopy saying that.
It's not a famous line.
Well originally Angus Grim was going to play Snoopy and then they just got Snoopy.
They didn't realize that good grief boy.
I guess Charlie Brown says good grief.
What's the head I feel like if you hadn't already met your soul mate and the Heather might
be the girl for you, or at least her dad. Yeah. So what I'm doing with my son and Spider-Man,
he's doing with his daughter and phantasm.
Yeah.
Similar.
Although I have been teaching my son
to say Ghostbusters in response to who you're gonna call,
he really likes the Ghostbusters song.
We've been dancing to it a lot at home.
And I ask him, I go, who you're gonna call?
And I can see him struggling to remember it.
Like it's on the tip of his tongue.
And I go, ghost busters and he goes, yeah.
Yeah.
Ha, ha, ha.
Hmm.
I mean, well, at least she's learned the lesson.
Whether, you know, whether or not he can express it himself.
That's true.
He knows it.
Yeah.
He knows it when he hears it.
That's why he suggests it to him.
Yeah, this is why you have kids to force your interests
upon them until they rebel against them.
Yeah, he's gonna be like, this is the ghost busters from my generation dad their women.
Does that frighten you?
And we like, no.
Um, so is your childhood ruined dad?
And you're like, son, your voice is so deep.
You play a good game, dad.
The more you know, I'm Angus Scrim for dad, Tess.
It's a horrible.
He's daddy is my name.
Be standing for fantasy.
A fantasy of daddy.
Then my feed is the New York fantasy.
You if there was the New York Fanta
New York
Fanta
New York
Fanta
New York
Fanta
New York
Fanta
New York
Fanta
New York
Fanta
New York Fanta
New York
Fanta
New York
Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New Fanta New� Fanta New York� the New York streets with the baseball bat swan word or
Catching the occasional robes
Get out of here your stupid fantasam orbs
Even the streets safe. What you they do is that mother is strong for a long time that the policy was you just bought the orba ticket
Bust ticket to Boston just send it on its way.
We don't like your kind around here.
Imagine the orb just floating above the seat,
moving along with the bus. You see this baseball bat?
This means not welcome.
And then there's an orb in the rain
with its hairs like that.
It's coward.
So you're so, so you're comparing the Jewish character in school ties to some sort of
any human killer metal orb.
I don't know how, so how this became the most anti-Semitic podcast in the world that, that
Gizmo is working for Hitler and the orb from Pantheantasm were Jews, to say, that's revisionist history.
Should we recommend things now, Dan?
Yeah, what do we do?
And then we bring this to a blessed end.
The part of the...
How we talk so long, though, this...
Oh, my God.
This is the part of the podcast where we make recommendations
of movies that you should watch instead of all.
Because we spent like 20 minutes putting on our bow ties.
And... Podcast magic. movies that you should watch instead of all. Because we spent like 20 minutes putting on our photos.
Podcast magic.
And you know, you know, jam some movie knowledge and somebody's ear Dan. Yeah, I'm going to recommend Jiggy.
Right.
I mean, yeah, fill it up, dude.
Yeah, I mean, my number one recommendation is cheeky.
But if you want a Shocktober recommendation,
I just recently on what's cheeky,
while wearing a ghost costume.
I just recently watched on Netflix streaming Hellbound,
Hellraiser 2, which I had no expectations for,
and wound up loving it.
It's totally crazy.
It's super crazy, right? It starts off with a skinless man being stretched apart
and it doesn't slow down from there.
There's a scene with a guy using a razor
to cut bugs off of him.
And then later on, the hero goes through a psycho ward
into a crazy alternate universe,
Alice of Wonderland pinhead world.
Did Climber direct that one
I don't think so now I think now I looked at that. We did not record which means that it's a little more coherent
Yeah, how razor even though it's still totally nutty and
That's I think that's how it was how was advertised was a
More coherent than then how razor but still totally nutty tons of nuts
a morco here at then then how razor but still totally nutting tons of nuts
Chottacle like a fucking like a fucking payday
I sometimes you feel like this movie sometimes you don't I was saying to stew that uh
In the 80s there were a whole school of
Horror movies that were kind of this fantasy horror movie, like some of the later Nightmare on Almsdreet's or Phantasm as it went along, where, and you know,
another live-barker film Nightbreed, but movies where it's all about crazy dream imagery, horrific
dream imagery.
And that's kind of a type of horror movie that you don't see anymore, that crossover horror
fantasy just zany-ness.
And I miss it.
The horror is a lot more earthbound than rhyming.
Yeah.
Well, also, I mean, those movies were expensive when they made them.
And now people realize like, oh, just give me a fucking camcorder.
And I can make a found footage movie.
Give me a laptop.
And I can make an unfriended four or whatever.
Yeah.
That's true.
I think that, yeah, there's a, there was a sense for a while that maybe they're like similar
to, it's not exactly the same as similar similar to, like, hunk stripping away
all the excess and weirdness of 70s rock that, like, the types of movies that were more,
like, either found footage or torture porn were, like, stripping back to the elements.
And maybe it's time that that pendulum's going back in the other direction.
Yeah, except for, I don't think I would like the new version of it, because these old
movies had such beautiful practical effects, and I feel like if they did a new version of that, it would look like Tim Burton's house in Wonderland.
It'd be like Crimson Peak, which comes out this weekend.
Yeah, I guess Crimson Peak is that kind of movie supposedly I haven't seen it because I haven't
come out yet. Anyway, watch it. You can see it on Netflix. Streaming. Streaming indeed.
Now, for people I haven't seen the first hell razor, would you say that it'll be totally lost?
No, none of those movies make any sense. That's true.
Right into the story.
His story checks out.
That's how we know he's not a pinhead trying to trick us.
I don't have a shocktober recommendation.
I've just had a regular one.
Good. I have an awesome sloptober recommendation.
I'm tover.
Sloptober.
Sloptober. It's called Rooballs because these are slabs.
So I'm gonna recommend a
Shocktober Spook of I'm scaring up called death gasm available on VOD right now
Death gasm is a video of death. That's what it means
Death gasm is a kind of like a splatter horror comedy from New Zealand that
clearly is a splatter horror comedy from New Zealand that clearly has a lot of love for early Sam
Raimi and Peter Jackson and even some like Edgar Wright stuff. And it's about a pair of
metalhead dudes who get together and they form a heavy metal band and by playing a song that they find in a weird abandoned house, they summon a demon
from hell and then they have to kill a bunch of demons in the process. And it has a lot
of practical special effects. It's gross. It's funny. And it's got a lot of good heavy
metal music. So totally checking out death gassam.
I you know what I realized I do have a shocktober recommendation. So I'm going to recommend two
movies real quick. One is shocktober, one is not for shocktober. An old classic that I don't remember
if I've recommended before if I have I apologize. And that is Mad Love starring Peter Laurie,
which is a movie that is super creepy and weird. He is this creepy bald guy who becomes obsessed
with an actress who is in like a grand guineau type,
I don't know how to pronounce it, type theater of blood
in the grotesque and whose the woman's husband is a surgeon
and or the woman is a piano player.
I can't remember the husband does.
The point is he loses his hands in a train accident
and Peter Laurie replaces them with a knife throwing murderers hands
But that the hands are kind of forgotten because Peter Laurie's character is so creepy and scary that you don't really need it
But it's a really effective tight little creepy thriller movie that
I think Carl Freund was who directed it the guy who's a cinematographer for metropolis need directed the mummy
So that's my Shocktober recommendation
so we can get some old movies in here.
And then I saw a new movie recently
that doesn't need my help to become successful
because it's a top movie right now.
But a song movie called The Mars Man,
starring Max Demon, directed by a gridley spot.
But I saw The Martian and I enjoyed it a lot.
I liked it.
It sounded a lot scarier before.
Yeah, it's a...
What's scarier than being trapped on a planet by yourself?
That's frightening, dude.
And you got to make your own food.
The movie is a little too like wiki clever sometimes, and there's one too many montages
set to pop songs.
But overall, it's like a really like just engrossing movie where of a very old-fashioned
science fiction type
where there's a problem, people need to find a solution for it and they just work through
solutions until they can try to solve the problem.
And I found it really refreshing because one, there's no villain in the movie.
Everyone's on the same page and they all want the same thing, but like they have different
ideas of how to get it.
But I was waiting for like the evil person who wants to leave Matt Damon up there
because it's good publicity for NASA or something
and that never happens.
So it was like a movie,
like a play by Paul Reiser.
Yeah, well basically Paul Reiser and Aliens, yeah.
And it's like a movie about teamwork and problem solving
that was just like kind of an upbeat movie about a semi-realistic problem.
And it felt, this is something I was tweeting about
so you've read my Twitter feed, you'd seen this,
but it felt like, so I don't know.
But it felt like seeing a movie where,
if America was like a functioning socialist
or communist country, this is the type of movie
we would make in a good way where it's like
America is exploring for science. Uh-oh, a problem. Time for everyone to work together as a team to solve it and that shouldn't work dramatically as well as it does, but it does work dramatically.
Yeah. The characters are a little thin and Matt Damon never seems to be all that bothered by the
fact that he's trapped on Mars, but otherwise it was really good.
For great recommendations, we did it. I'm gonna go off script here a little bit
and Dan can edit this out of your once.
But I would like to propose a,
I would like to propose another ill-defined
flamp house contest,
because I need some help from you listeners out there
in, I don't know, the rest of the world.
See, I'm opening up a little bar,
Hinterland's bar. You can find us on Facebook. We're going to be on Church Avenue in Brooklyn.
And one of the things that I would like to do is have a personalized,
a kind of artistic choking victim poster, because every bar restaurant has to have a choking
victim poster, but you can add a little bit of your own, have your own flavor to it.
So what I would like to do is I'm going to propose a day,
and you guys can veto this on air if you want.
But I would suggest that we do a contest where you,
Flotfokes, can put together your best version of a choking victim poster,
you artsy types, and all the rules for what you would need
to have to include on that poster will be on the Flophouse
website when this episode airs.
And I think what, about two weeks, two weeks from when
this airs, I'd like to have it have all the entries in,
and then we'll do a short voting.
The specifics will all be on the website.
And the winner will be of course used and will maybe get to pick a movie for us to watch.
Dan? Sure. Sure. You'll get to pick a movie that isn't nothing but trouble.
Nothing but trouble is banned from these contests.
Yeah. Until maybe our final episode of all time time when you see nothing but trouble pop up in your podcast that we're done.
Yeah, we have crossed over into.
Hell.
And everybody else who enters but doesn't win will certainly get a free drink if they come by my bar and.
Some other kind of ill-defined thing that will be on the website.
Really putting a lot of work into your day out.
No, I'll take care of that part.
So, contest.
I wasn't paying attention to that, so you were just looking at the back of that cheeky DVD.
Why are you looking at the back when the front has just a ladies butt on it?
Here's what I like about the DVD case is it's called Shiki.
It's Naps.
The cover opens easily.
I give it an A plus.
I have an A plus.
I have an A plus.
Plus Naps closed with a slight push.
Good one entertainment weekly over here.
Since on the shelf comfortably, it's the same shape and sizes of other DVDs.
So they all look up a piece together. And I like that about it. Now, someone say that
the covering over the insert with the name of the title is too shiny, but I think it's
just shiny enough. The insert. The insert. The insert. That's amazing for organizing.
The summary insert with the cover is cut wells that none of it
peaks out of the plastic sleeve.
So that looks very professional on the shelf as well.
But it's called cheeky.
It's a woman lifting up her skirt on the front on the back.
It keeps talking about what essential feast it is.
And then the bottom for mature audiences.
Thanks.
Thanks, buddy. Oh, it's not a kids film.
This this tribute to women's hinders is not for the not for the whole family to enjoy.
So I recommend the DVD case for cheeky to anyone who wants to store DVDs or put something on their shelf.
Movie, I don't care for I find it lured.
Yeah, well, thanks. Thanks for this super sized episode of the flop.
Yeah, we got one more shock topper. Look out for that. But until then, I've been Dan McCoy.
I'm still steward willing to even after all this time, Elliot Kaylen remains.
Good night, everyone. Um.
We'll bring extra mustard to the sandwich. We did to that intro.
Oh, it is.
Fucking on fire.
Like a sandwich on fire.
There. I knew I could get Dan with some stupid bullshit.
We call it the flaming Rubin.
We did a regular Rubin and we light it on fire.
I got him Rubin.
He is not heavy about this.
Rubin's soldered.
Rubin's soldered.
A lot to burn there.
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