The Flop House - Ep. #189 - Deliver Us from Evil

Episode Date: October 17, 2015

No show notes because Dan is busy nursing a sick cat. ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Classic intro on tonight's flop house we watched a movie called Deliver us from evil rated G. We're good Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house. I'm Stuart Spooky Wellington. I can't live up to that in drugs. I'm just Sam Elliott Kaelin. Just remembered that it was, Shocktober, the spookiest time of year, dude. Oh, stewions. Rettle chain, Rettle chain, Rettle chain skeleton sounds,
Starting point is 00:01:08 skeleton sounds, bat flap, bat flap, bat flap water drips, water drips, candy falling into bag sounds. Why is a water drips scary? It's very scary.
Starting point is 00:01:18 It's very scary. You're like, oh, man, now I've got to call the plumber. That's really frightening. The plumber starring Jeffrey Comes, produced by Brian Hughes, not. See, that I gotta call the plumber. That's really frightening. The plumber starring Jeffrey Combs, produced by Brian Hughes-Nut. Obviously that's different from the movie called The Plumber than I Know, the Australian one.
Starting point is 00:01:32 I mean, it is. Is yours a super scary porn oh movie at Jeffrey Combs and I'm guessing Corbin Burnson? Oh, are you making up this movie as he go along? Yeah, I'm kinda stitching it together from other legs. Super scary porno. That's what I'm looking for. Finally, a movie that'll give me the chills and the thrills. It'll scare you so much the seamen just bubbles up out of your spout.
Starting point is 00:02:02 It's horrible. Okay. You have to see a urologist. I let this go on long enough. Should it go on? Before we move on. Time to bring order to this primordial chaos, Dan. Yeah. Before we move on, I just want to. We move on. We haven't even started.
Starting point is 00:02:20 We're moving on, too. I was just going to say before we went on to talking about the movie, I wanted to thank the Macarois for taking over the show last week. Yep, if we sound different, it's because we're not the Macarois. If you're super sad about that, well, don't be a jerk. Listen to this show. And they have a lot of podcasts you can listen to. They're very funny.
Starting point is 00:02:41 They would put that. If last week was the first episode of the Flop House that you listened to, then you are in for a shock this week. A shock tover, if you will. I will, because that's the time of the year it is, Dan, what's shock tover about? Thanks to Wolf. Thanks to Wolf.
Starting point is 00:02:57 We had a big thank you in the Mac. Yeah, okay, before we move on, let's thank the Mac. They took the car out for a spin. They brought it back full of gas. They took it They got it nice wash and waxed. Okay, so weird compliment. They vacuumed up the crumbs beneath the seat Mm-hmm. They rewind the tape and the cassette player to the exact point that I like it They buffed out your butt groove out of the Thanks, chair. I think what you're saying is they did a bang-up job
Starting point is 00:03:22 Yeah, and we were really having to have them on the show Thanks guys for doing us justice Because we were seeking justice If I seem distracted during this podcast, let me just take a moment to say that there's a loudly weezing cat in the corner my cat is sick It's had been hospitalized and it's back and now it's making weezy weezy noises. So Dan might be a little distracted by that. So I keep looking over there and also I dozed off a little bit toward the end of this movie. And don't worry guys.
Starting point is 00:03:53 And for the time being I'm going to put my classic bit to bed, the flop house house cat, I'm going to put him in the little bit garage. I'll take him out for a spin a little while later, not tonight though. I haven't done it a long time. Thanks for warning. At the first minute. If so, if anyone's listening just to hear the house cat, maybe skip this episode. I would hate to do the bit. And then you guys out of like kind of anger and shock, just spit whatever you're drinking all over the people over then. And then the computer explodes. And then we lose another episode.
Starting point is 00:04:26 We don't have Babylon A D scenario. Or Beesley was, that was the other one. No, Beesley we released. Beesley was released, I thought. We had, no, we released half of it, I think. It was the one where the pirate radio station started sneaking into our airways. Oh, that's right, that's right.
Starting point is 00:04:43 When this deep briefly turned into a reggaeton show. Christian Slayer. Christian Slayer, which is the Christian version of the band Slayer, is they wanted to bring the kids back into the fold. Yeah. Complete opposite message. So the song Angel of Death is now called actual angel. It does not kill people.
Starting point is 00:05:03 So I'd like to rely on you even more than usual, Ellie. It's since the first half of this movie. I was worried about Whether my cat was gonna be fed through the next two Sleep. So what do we do on this year podcast? Dan, maybe let's if you're not if you didn't sleep through the part where we do the podcast normally What do we do on this podcast and how does Shocktober affect that? Being that as that is the month that the we are in now. Yep, check your calendar. Unless you listen to this not in Shocktober in which case shame
Starting point is 00:05:34 on you. Check your calendars. Is that acceptable? Cryptkeeper pun off of calendar? Dan's gears are working. I would. Your calendar. Let's gears are working. I would. Yeah, calendar. Let's let's ask the judges. Calendar is much better. Um, wow. I can't believe that that fell right by me. So this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and we talk about it. Mm-hmm. And during October and that was magical time of the
Starting point is 00:05:58 year. Mm-hmm. We watch horror movies. We're like ghouls and goasty's. We're popping out of toilets to scare you. Those are ghoulies. Ghoulies. Ghoulies. Ghoulies and gosties or popping out of toilets to scare you. Those are ghoulies. Ghosties. Ghosties are so great. A ghoul is separated. Goules into ghouls. And you combine ghoulies with ghouls and ghosts.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Yep. But and ghosties, I guess, is your cereal that you're saying? You get you get struck by a ghoulier ghosty and your armor pops off. And you run around the underpants and throwing weirdly arcing torches the things Tiny java I can't remember does the goolee actually pop out of the toilet in the movie goolees I feel like the poster has what about when it goes to college Dan poster gets you in the end what about any critters do they pop out of toilets? When goolee goes to college it it sticks a plunger on a
Starting point is 00:06:49 When Goole go to college, it sticks a plunger on a shattering co-ed at one point, pulls her face off using the toilet plunge. There's that the physics of that do not add up. I was just going to have to say, Goole is going to college. Why do you do that in the movie, face off, Dan? Would it save some bucks? I didn't have enough. Yeah. Here's my question. How did the Goole get into college? Was it like a special needs scholarship or something?
Starting point is 00:07:06 It is community college. Okay. And do you think goolees would fit in the face-off universe? Yeah. The way universe where they have a night, night of prison boots. I think toilet repair is what they're going for. Stuart, it's all going to mean the face-off sequel,
Starting point is 00:07:20 face-off two, now there's goolees. Are those goolees groovy? No, they are not. Probably not. So, so we're moving to we watch this time, Dan, as if we wasn't announced at the beginning of the episode. It was called Deliverus from evil. Now this is the story of a woman named Eva who is very overbearing and everyone wants to be delivered from.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Coming mistake. You were watching a movie on your phone. That's now what we're talking about. Yeah, deliver us from Eva, the story of Eva Braun. And her it's a it's a remake of Kiki's delivery service with Eva Braun instead of the level of team which is there any code of rose in which yes, which is the story of a teenager who gets turned into a sandwich. What kind of toppings would you have on that? Zits, I guess, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:08:09 It's a teenager. What? Bacon bits? I don't know. Mountain Witch Top That. Come on. Oh, I see, because it's top that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Son of a teenager. Classic joke. So we were talking. Classic joke. We're talking about Deliverus from Evil. This is the what, like, 10th movie that I have this name? Yes, there's a lot of movies with this name, but this is the only one based on the memoirs. The Star of the Chaos.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Well, it's the only one with the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name.
Starting point is 00:08:43 With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. With the Star of the Chaos name. Buna delicious chicken dish and Olivia Mon is in it and and Olivia Mon Mon is probably the best. Yeah what about Boo Livy a Mon? Okay. Go live a Mon. Oh, dead oh dead yeah, one instead of Olivia, one. Boo liver us from Booville. All the boons down in Booville, like Halloween a lot. Yeah, I learned here's a boo.
Starting point is 00:09:12 It's the Dr. C's Halloween book. So this movie, it's based on memoirs. It's incredibly loose. Okay, it's an air season memoir. It's incredibly loosely based on the memoirs of a new or NYPD officer who has since become a full-time demonologist Apparently he was by day of policemen and by night and exorcist type prowling the mean streets of New York looking for demons
Starting point is 00:09:37 I assume in hell's kitchen and Hell's the Bronx and Hell's East Village and who can And who can forget devil statin island? Like, and only assume the Vin Diesel was doing something else when they were making this movie. You miss his like right up his alley, dude? I don't know. Yeah, man, he's the last witch hunter.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Yeah, he's the top demon hunter character. That'd be perfect for Vin. That movie wasn't, well, wasn't he all, oh, no, I'm thinking of the, I was watching the trailer for the last witch hunter. And because why not? Guess is our trailer talk segment. It was in front of another movie.
Starting point is 00:10:12 That's the normal place. It was in front of another movie. And you asked it to move aside. And so I wasn't blocking your view of the movie anymore. But like, I swear like it was a trailer were like halfway through the trailer. I'm like, well, they're still explaining the premise of this movie. Especially since the title kind of explains everything is the last witch finder which hunter general of an electric
Starting point is 00:10:36 So let's talk about it. The movie has a brief prologue in Iraq. We're three Marines in Iraq in a rock. We're three Marines. In a rock. Oh, Lord. Dan has been apparently possessed by a stupid joke, demon. His name is Dumoffelies. Dumoffs. Golly. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Yep. No, he's still possessed. I guess. This is a gibberish demon. I cast the out of Dan. Dumpled Dan. What? The Apple Dumpled Dan, the Disney movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Oh, wait. So we're in the fuck is that? We're three seconds into the movie. It's 2010. We're in a rock. There's a firefight in a rock and three Marines discover an underground cave. There's also a bunch of bats and, you know,
Starting point is 00:11:30 whatever. There's end, we hear a lot of screaming. Now it's 2013. Flash forward. Flash to the forward. Eric Abana is a police officer in the NYPD. That's the New York. Anybody?
Starting point is 00:11:43 Police department. Yeah, penis department. Yeah, Dan, are you okay? Sorry. I'm very distracted. No, I wonder if there is a New York penis department that's just in charge of just keeping penises safe. The guy comes in and is like, oh, I heard you're penis meter.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Yep, same length as last month. I'll be back in a month. What do you keep your penis here? Every time. I keep in the same place place everyone keeps their penis. Every time the penis meter reader comes over, you're like, is this a scam? They just trying to rob my penis.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Sir, can you let me in the basement? I need to read the penis meter for the people upstairs. Sir, you don't need to hang out with me while I do this. It's gonna be a couple of minutes. So Eric Manus character, Ralph Sarchi, he is having a bad day. uh... so he and uh... so eric manis character Ralph sergey he is having a bad day first he finds a dead baby in a dumpster then he is partner john mcale have a deal with the domestic disturbance where a guy who's a former marine
Starting point is 00:12:36 is hitting his wife or something uh... and his partner john mcale and him and his partner john mcale then go to another complaint where they find a a. Oh, no, a lady is totally. It's the same to me.
Starting point is 00:12:52 I'm to baby. Yeah, no, that's the different. They go the the Marines has everything's fine. I always clearly being abusive. You're a melody to read Wikipedia. Some reason movies has been hindered somehow. Are you possessed, Elliot? I'm possessed by a demon of not caring very much
Starting point is 00:13:07 about this movie, but then they go to the third call which is at the Bronx Zoo, one of my favorite places in the city. I like the museum in natural history more. Maybe that's because strangely enough, the animals seem less sad to me for being dead than just being imprisoned, but I like animals. I'm more than a human being.
Starting point is 00:13:23 They've crossed over from this veil of tears. Yeah, they're busy having adventures in the afterlife in animal hollas. In the blazing world. Yeah. Which is called that because it's because there's where you can light farts pretty easily. So they go to the Bronx, do a woman through her child into a
Starting point is 00:13:42 moat around one of the cages, which apparently causes a child to disappear completely. Nobody knows where it is. Is it the same baby as the one he pulled out of that garbage bag? No, those are very different babies. There are two times in the movie when you see children who have been killed and put into garbage receptacles both times
Starting point is 00:14:06 steward what did you say both the talk about a garbage bill and then i all i asked for high five that i never see no that high five was not forthcoming uh... they go to the bronch soup woman has thrown her child into ravine and they can't figure out what it is they find the woman in the in the dark and they walk around the zoo in the dark and suddenly
Starting point is 00:14:28 a bear jumps out of nowhere and roars at them. We're like, suddenly some other animal makes a bunch of noise. Almost all the scares in this horror movie are one of two types, either super gross goring ass or it's dark, everything's quiet and then something jumps out and makes a lot of sex. I feel like they pitched this movie and they're like, hey, you've heard of a cat scare, have you? Wait for it.
Starting point is 00:14:49 How about a, wait for it? Bear scare. Here's how they pitched this one. It's way bigger than a cat. They called the executives into the room, and they were like, so we're gonna tell you a story. And these actors were like, okay. And then the director didn't say anything for a while.
Starting point is 00:15:03 These days, they were like, are you gonna, and the director went, booo. And all these they did were so scared. They're like, oh God And then the director didn't say anything for a while. These days, I was like, are you gonna, and the director went, booo! And all these days, he's so scared. They're like, oh God, it's a million dollar idea. We gotta get on board with this. Let me pitch you this movie, close your eyes, and stick your hand in this box. That's the witch's hair.
Starting point is 00:15:18 Really? Because it feels like spaghetti. No, it's not spaghetti at all. And you guys were all slimy. It's a big thing. Okay, so it seems pretty thick It's like her hair is like almost like wires like the thickness that you'd find in like a small electrical cable It doesn't feel like hair. No, no, no, it's totally hair because it it's all is this a meatball that's in the hair That's like I don't know dandruff or something
Starting point is 00:15:43 That's in the hair. That's like I don't know dandruff or something Meatball and what is this is a piece of pen a? No, no, no, that's like she has hollow hair. She had a cat her Okay, put your hand in this. It's the witch's eyeballs really she had like 20 eyeballs that all felt like olives She had a collection of them Yeah, with these eyeballs she found no, no, they a collection of them. I don't know. These eyeballs she found. No, no, they were in her head, I guess, somehow. So much of you, you want me to believe that much like the misfit song, 20 eyes.
Starting point is 00:16:12 She had 20 eyes in her head. So at this point, the movie pictures not go well. No, the exact kids are really pushing back. They're like, you really want us over with that boo at the beginning. But we were ready to say, if you had stopped the pitch then, you'd have your movie. Frankly, by continuing with the the pitch you have hurt your chances. Here put your hand on this. That's just your penis sir. Oh yeah well tell the penis department about it. No
Starting point is 00:16:33 measure for me, would you? I got to write the numbers on this piece of paper and mail it into the department. I wasn't home when the guy came to measure. You know that's a scam, right? He's just a perv-o creep. Oh man, all this time. Well, what if we did a movie about that? Nope, sorry, got it. Ah, I was. It's a hard pass. You're telling me?
Starting point is 00:16:57 Anyway, so they're at the Bronx Zoo. They're looking for the woman and they eventually find her and she is. She's flipping out. She's not so crazy. She is she's scrambling in the dirt scratching at a rock to the point that her fingernails are chipping. She's mumbling, blathering, ranting. Some of it is the lyrics to doors songs.
Starting point is 00:17:18 And at this point, if you've seen movies before this movie is going to be using a lot of short, short hand that you understand, which is if a person's face is all Waxy and has like smeared makeup, probably a demon. If somebody has paint on their face, they're a demon in this movie. As seen by the fact that they're like, they're like, so nobody else is around, huh? Oh well, there's that guy. Oh yeah, that guy has been painting a wall for hours all day and is in a creepy hood And they look at him and he turns and looks at them and he's got a face like the crow like Alice Cooper in Prince of Darkness Like he looks like a crazy evil guy who they've hired to paint and the play and Eric
Starting point is 00:17:55 Well, this is after Eric. Well, you know, you put in the lowest bid to do that Because his bid was I'll do it for nothing if you let me make people crazy and fill him with demons But uh the Eric Banna. That's a pretty good deal. No, I mean, from dollars for paint point of view, that's great. Yeah. He did all his work at night.
Starting point is 00:18:13 I mean, it only probably brought him more drugs. No, he's been working their old day, they said. He was there in the early day, just painting away with his roller and everything. This is after Eric Banna has tried to get the story out of this crazy woman who was sitting on a bench handcuffed to it just,
Starting point is 00:18:27 I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, tassing out. And. Yeah, spinning around and going through trees. He was like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:18:41 I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, get somehow being a merchandising juggernaut. Oh my God, he's the bozofet of loonitudes. Get streetwise attitude. Yeah, yeah. He got his clothes on, now turn them around. That's Chris Cross. He had a character like Mickey Buzzard. Not no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, decides to get straight to the heart by going, hey, what's a matter with you?
Starting point is 00:19:06 Because everyone in this movie also has super heavy, faking New York accents. Everyone's like, hey, forget about it. Oh, demons, I don't know, Yankees. Hey, oh, oh, oh, hey. Satan, whoa, I'm walking here. Forget about it. It's me, Olivia Munn.
Starting point is 00:19:23 Oh. I mean, yeah, Olivia is one of the better accents. I have funnier's coming from her Saying the name certainly it's me Eric Benner. I played the Hulk. Oh, I'm smashing here From Australia. This is what I sound like out back accent. It's me Joe McEln. Nobody knows where I'm from whatever. Fuck you. We're about it Now look at this clip from the real house line. Hey, you'll like it. Yeah, sounds like a nonchalant, uh, tell you later. Nonchalant indeed.
Starting point is 00:19:57 The hard chuh that says I've spoken that word before. I was trying it out, dude. So after talking to the audience, I appreciate that. I shouldn't have seen you for trying new things. You're trying to be the sophisticated one. So after failing to get an answer with his, hey, what's wrong with you? He goes, oh, they point out the creepy painting guy. And he runs after him. Which way does he goes, oh, they point out the creepy painting guy. And he runs after him.
Starting point is 00:20:25 What's weird is he goes, hey, come over here. And the painting guy just kind of drops his roller and walks away like whatever. I don't need to deal with this. They follow. It's going to inform his acting choices for the rest of the movie. Until the end when he goes super intense.
Starting point is 00:20:38 But, and I have to say this, I always feel so, so much pity or mercy or. We a pity, but the, uh, what they mess with the team, man, uh, but for the people who have to play the possessed villain in these types of movies, they're never the big star. They never get top billing. Like unless you're Anthony Hopkins in a Hannibal movie, you have to put in the most physically intense acting job of the movie, and you get very little credit because you're essentially a walking special effect
Starting point is 00:21:13 for most of it. You're gonna be covered in goop, you gotta have like tattoos carved into your body, because you do that for real, clearly. And the demon here is played by the guy in Prometheus who gets lost and is killed by that lamprey monster and then comes back all zombified and kills a couple people. And he's not a terrible actor. You know, he played, he played a who, the guy from Joy Division in 24 hour party people. Yeah, yeah. And it like so. So he's real, you know, typecast. He's they're playing a possessed demon guy
Starting point is 00:21:45 and aliens zombified person or Ian Curtis. So, but the, so he, they follow him into the zoo and he leads Eric Banna into a little bit of a trap. We like to call the lion's den and that it is a den with two lions in it. And Eric Banna narrowly escapes as the goofiest zookeeper in the world tries desperately to help him out.
Starting point is 00:22:07 It's like they might as well just cast the ghost of Don Nots as the zookeeper. Like, the character that Dennis Weaver plays in touch of evil that weird hotel keeper, he seems like a normal human being next to this goofball. Like, I don't know why a Hanabar bear character suddenly walked into the movie and started working at a zoo. But anyway, the style of clash is somewhat with you. He was assuming he was going to be wiped out and they're going to put an animated character in his place.
Starting point is 00:22:35 He was just doing the voices. He thought he was hired originally for the role of Body Double for Hong Kong food. But uh, so. Yeah, that's all done with motion capture, right? Hong Kong food. But uh, so that's all done with motion capture, right? Hong Kong food. And body double for Hong Kong food. He was a really weird sequel to body double. It's similar to the same thing the original movie. Yeah, Craig Wesson across the street watching Hong Kong food strip. Just take it off that kimono, I guess, because he leaves the mask on, I say. We're just jumping out of his janitors clothes.
Starting point is 00:23:08 That's right. So, when did Brian DePalma stop working with Hannah Barbarian characters? Was it after scrappy doosisters? It was really not wait, he made snake eyes, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, snake eyes is full of them It's called snake eyes because of all the snake men when he did raising jabber jaw with John Lithko and jabber jaw but
Starting point is 00:23:34 Anyway, so where will we oh yes they go to the zoo they lose the bad guy But he narrowly escapes me eating by a lion and you learn that in this movie that all animals are evil They are just like the devil can just control them. They sent the woman gets transferred her name is Jane gets transferred from the police station to a mental health facility under the care of a Jesuit priest named Mendoza and he is a drug dealer. And he is a cool Jesuit priest. He smokes. He drinks. He wears a leather jacket, he's got long hair.
Starting point is 00:24:07 He checks out girls butts when they walk by him. He's essentially James Woods in vampires. Except where his vampires realized, hey, why don't we make this badass like smoking drinking priest character who fights the evil into the hero of the movie. Here he's like the sidekick guide, bagger, vans type, who kind of leads. Well, also like the NYPD guy through. And he's also this priest is not as cool as the movie wants to. Yeah, well, the James Woods character
Starting point is 00:24:32 is also kind of a joke. Like it's like, hey, what have we made a priest? Like a real asshole. Yeah. Where's this one? It's just supposed to be like an awesome sexy Latin priest. I guess so. This movie basically not to jump too far ahead,
Starting point is 00:24:44 but they try the classic cop plus not a cop Top and a half we got well, we're at a certain point. He's like I'm my mind by blowing down like 50% of pop culture for entertainment 75 years and two because after a certain point he's like and not I know that he gets killed spoiler alert But after a certain point he even stops hanging out with his partner. He's just hanging out with this priest Yeah, yeah, well his partner does die eventually. So that's part of the reason That's what happens Does they make you ride around with a priest when you when you this is and my p-roll law when your partner dies
Starting point is 00:25:22 You're automatically part of the new york penis department? Yes, the New York penis department. You're automatically partnered up with whoever you're with at the moment. Even if they're not a cop, they're a cop now. Okay. It's why you see so many, why you see so many landlord and superintendant cops now, because they just let the two cops into the building.
Starting point is 00:25:39 One of them dies with like a heart attack that superintendant is now a cop. Okay, wow. I would like to hear your pitch for a cop, not a cop show. Yeah. I mean, that's basically every show, but, uh, let me see if you show. Yeah, family matters.
Starting point is 00:25:51 That was a cop, not a cop show. The cop car always load the not a cop, Steve or a cop. I'm glad he's getting, uh, he's getting co-billing with the car always load at this point. Uh, I mean, I don't know. You can do a cop plus, I don't know, an ice cream vendor. That's a pretty clear one. We're all at cone patrol.
Starting point is 00:26:09 So it's a boob movie. Yes, boob movie. So I went to another one. Give us another one. Boob's cones in this scenario? Yeah, totally. Or the ice cream, the dollops of ice cream that are beast. That feels terrible for everybody.
Starting point is 00:26:24 Delicious dairy lumps. Oh, them. That feels terrible for everybody. Delicious dairy lumps. Oh, oh God. It's terrible. So that's another one. Give us another cop, not a cop. We got a cop, of course. And I don't know what it goes without saying. I would say a lamp salesman.
Starting point is 00:26:40 OK, what do we call that one? Well, they're turning the harsh light on the crime. Okay. We're gonna be called, we'll call it shades. Okay, sounds good. Lambshades. No, we got it, yeah. I mean, shades come, the lampshades.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Look at that, shades, lampshades. Wait, is that like, I guess it's officer shades? And John and the lampshades. Like, how do you use the lampshades? I'm shade. He's dead and fit to lampshades. And he went into the lighting business. So, what you're telling man and a lampshade. I'm shade. He's dead in fit to lampshades. And he went into the lighting business.
Starting point is 00:27:06 So what you're telling me is that lampshades were named after their inventor and we got the word lamp because shades was a pre-existing cognate. And it's just a coincidence that he had shades in his name. Well, his name was lampshade. So he was naturally gonna be drawn to lamps. So he's a moth. Kind of, if that's what you consider lamp be drawn to lamps. So he's a moth? Kind of, if that's what you consider lampshades to be.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Let's move on. Okay, so cop not a cop, a couple different ideas. If you have more suggestions for Stuart, send him in, I guess. With the hashtag, bad idea. Right on the letter, your idea. Stick it down the sewer. And maybe the Ninja Turtles will enjoy it because they don't get to go to the movies
Starting point is 00:27:45 Otherwise, they're just gonna pass along to like USA because that's half their fucking shows, dude Yeah, send it in the sewer so that a chug can find it and have a laugh Brighten up. It's terrible chuddy existence for a moment Let's we'll shorten this a little bit it turn they they fun they get called to another house where there's spooky goings on and they find, they go down to the basement, Eric Banna hallucinates a couple scary things and then he, a dead body literally falls out of the wall and then blotes and its guts fall out and flies pop out of its eyes. It was genuinely gross, super cool. It was really fun to be eating dinner when we watched that part.
Starting point is 00:28:23 I normally am not affected by that shit when I'm eating and this time I was like, all right, well this is doing stuff. I saw that I'm like, man, I should, I should work out more. And this is, this end we haven't, I don't know what, I don't want to rise to burst out of my belly. And I don't think by that point they had gotten yet to the, no, then they follow the address on that guy's driver drivers license to his apartment where they find all sorts of gross stuff there's roaches everywhere in bags a garbage and a
Starting point is 00:28:50 whole but no lights fuck no lights all the lights are out or don't exist there's a whole serial killer manta collage on the wall of teeth and st and eyes and some and they go into another room where there's a live dog which of course jumps out in st and barks to be scary. How about a dog scare?
Starting point is 00:29:07 A dog. And speaking of cat scares, Joel McAill literally turns and his flashlight reveals that on the wall right behind him was a cat that was crucified and then it's chest open up and it's guts filled out. It is disgusting. But it's also for our sins.
Starting point is 00:29:22 But it was also, yeah, Jesus cats. We'll not our sins, but it was also yeah Jesus cats Because cats were because of the first two cats cat Adam and cat EU what a missed opportunity They could have put in an easy nine lives joke in there. That's right. I would do that It is was pretty funny just the reveal that right behind him was a crucified cat Just like you guys really didn't notice anything that was going on in the room, did you? Now I'm imagining a Jesus cat performing the miracle of multiplying the fish skeletons for all the other cats. Nice, nice. Or riff-riff.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Turning fish into wine. Well, and right before that was a genuinely kind of cool image when the dog that jumps out and scares you has, what looks like a crucifix around its collar, but like the light pans down and you see that the Jesus on the cross has goat legs. Yeah, there's a couple of images. They're like, I'll say this for the movie. It's fucking gross.
Starting point is 00:30:16 It's super gross. And I was like, what are we watching NBC's Hannibal with a gun on here? But there are a couple images in it that are genuinely creepy. There are moments in it that are genuinely creepy and disquieting, but mostly it's jump out scares and like, oh, it's dark now. It's just shot so dark. I mean, the guy directed Sinister,
Starting point is 00:30:37 which is another movie that gets most of its atmosphere because the entire movie is super duper dark. It looks like he saw seven, and he was like, I can out dark that. Let's put more fake rain in the scene. And the rain in this movie looks terrible. It's constantly raining in different scenes. Well, it's not cause of rain.
Starting point is 00:30:54 It's raining in many scenes, and you know how usually they angle the rain, the splint sprinklers, they're shooting up so that the rain falls down in a more natural pattern of gravity. I don't know how they do it. So they're magic. A little bit of movie magic for you. What's the stuff you should know all of a sudden? Yeah, that's what this movie stuff you should know, movie addition for movies.
Starting point is 00:31:12 But in this, it just looks like everyone standing under the shower heads or just like a row of lawn sprinklers upside down. Like the water just falls down straight on everybody's head. It doesn't look like real rain. But anyway, that's how they do it. Yeah, they point the sprinklers up and the rain falls back down because of gravity. That's why you can't shoot rain scenes on the moon. That's why when they tried to shoot the sequel to singing in the rain, singing in the
Starting point is 00:31:39 rain on the moon, it was a huge flop. The dancing was amazing. Oh, it was in almost zero G. Oh, man. Donald Loughborough was so acrobatic. Yeah. Unfortunately, unfortunately, to do that part, he had to get out of his space suit and his blood boiled and exploded. So it was the loss of one of America's great song and dance clowns, but still they fixed it in post. They find out that there is a that here's here's the link between these people is that they are all they all served in a rack together these three guys the guy who was hitting his wife and the We're the creepy painter dude and this guy who was killed and stuffed into the basement full of maggots
Starting point is 00:32:19 I don't know guys get accepted into the the army. Well, they weren't demon men first. I mean, and two, they were Marines. Still, Murray was in the army and strives, right? Yeah. And Stripe is a Gremlin. How they let him into the army. It's crazy. He can barely talk. All I can say is Gizmo Magwai, yum yum. You know, it's very, you can barely just... He said Gizmo Kaka. He did say Gizmo Kaka. That's true. It was a little not a lot of men. It's a technicality all in sort of form a complete sentence. He can swear. He'll do fine in this man's army. He understands the cause I don't know. They realize we got one we got one recruit. We throw him in the pool to see if he can swim suddenly we got 30 recruits This is like this is I think we can we fixed our stop loss problem everybody
Starting point is 00:33:06 But I think I'm storming the beach in Normandy like that would be an unstoppable force. Yeah, unfortunately probably joined forces with the Nazis I mean, they're kind of more chaotic chaotic evil rather than Wow, check out your D&D Yeah, Dan and Dan This is real as D&D stuff really looking forward to somebody whipping up a quick bit of fan art of a grandma's story in the beach. No, it's Stripe Fighting Hitler. It's that Captain America number one cover of it.
Starting point is 00:33:35 It's Stripe Bunching Hitler out and singing Hitler, sing Hitler Kaka. He's singing with a mouthful of Hitler. Hitler has to escape by driving a little Barbie remote control car away. There's a legend. There's a win-1 for Uncle Sam underneath it. So is so is so is that Galaghen? I had not seen this reading of it and his gizmo and Nazi. I think gizmo is the ordinary German citizen who has been transformed. I see. But then it seems like the Gremlin is the perfect metaphor for that.
Starting point is 00:34:06 How did Stripefical Mejero? Well, Stripe's got a mohawk. He's got attitude. Yeah. He is rude. And he's easily identified. And he's crude if he says kaka. Sure.
Starting point is 00:34:20 So Joe Dante, right in, if you have some thoughts about this. So anyway, they put the whole thing together these three guys were in the Marines two of them started a painting company together And for some reason it was not until after they started the painting company that the demon that they woke up in a rack decided to come help them He finds that they've been painting. You don't think it helped them the paint You know you think it like helped them secure that small business loan? That must be it. This isn't really zoned as an office space, but I suppose I could pull some strings. Fetal strings. Why shouldn't give you this loan, but I guess I'll arm wrestle you for it.
Starting point is 00:34:59 Oh, demon string. It's like, so you have a recommendation from mr. B. Elzebub. I assume that's Bill Elzebub down at a weird time. We're saving the lemon guy, Elliot. What is the name of this guy? His name is Santino. Oh, that sounds eerily like Lucifer. No, sounds like Satan or as we were saying, it's like the great Santini. Robert de Balles character was just demonic. Like he threw his basketball so hard at his son's chest
Starting point is 00:35:29 that it just burst through. But anyway, he looks through, Eric Bannon goes to look through some surveillance footage and footage from the Iraqi, all soldiers guys. And he's seeing blips of a bloody man's face that nobody else is noticing. And he's hearing children's laughter
Starting point is 00:35:45 that Joel McHale does not notice. And Joel McHale is mainly busy flipping us stuff. He's deaf to the laughter of Joel McHale. He's so busy flipping his knife over and over again and starting to peel an apple that we never see him eat. That he says, no, I don't know about that. He finds that the painters were all painting over the same scratched in devil latin inscription
Starting point is 00:36:07 and they do a shitty job of panic they do a bad but this uh... the wife of the uh... who's of the wife beater she goes all he hits office the friends came by and they painted it for free and they walk in and it is the worst painting job they stop well below the molding it's patchy the the strokes to the't look like it was taped or anything. No, not at all. It looks they look like they did one coat, no undercoat, nothing. It's just like.
Starting point is 00:36:30 It's probably not Benjamin Moore. No, it's not it's probably one red devil paint. Or possibly some kind of off brand paint like Satan's choice. It's something like that. You know, loose a color. You know, something like that. Why that like the devil store? Yeah, yeah, down at a, at St. Williams, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:49 So anyway, untrue value, because he's the Lord of Lies. Oh, I love that. Yeah, like true value hardware. We're so amazing. Yeah. So there's also, there's, he, anyway, his daughter also has a stuffed owl in her room, which the devil decides to take. In a fucking old timetimey crank music box.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Like, who gives their kid that? And the devil decides these are the two things that he's gonna go after be spooky because he has no new ideas. There's a, but he's, but he finds that pictogram underneath it's a pictogram from a cave in Iraq. What are you gonna say, Dan? No, I just like the devil really enjoys playing puppets with toys. Like that's, well, because I guess the devil didn enjoys playing puppets with toys. Like that's a...
Starting point is 00:37:25 Well, because... I guess the devil didn't have toys when he was a kid and that's why it's a meme. It's like, now that the devil is rich, he's buying all the stuff he couldn't have as a kid. So, like, that's why the devil has is really big on playing SNES. I couldn't get this... I couldn't get hyper-zone when I was a kid. Now I'll play it. It's kind of a middling shooter. It's pretty generic
Starting point is 00:37:46 I don't know why you'd bother with that one night trap. Did you ever play it? It's on Sega CD It's crazy dude Sewer shark is that one of them I can't remember Did no but we even say a CD came out no one liked it. I can't believe you spent your you're supposed I went on eBay and I tracked down all the original releases I have that Sherlock Holmes game. Yes, I'm a, I kind of noticed there was less evil in the world. I didn't realize because he was so busy tracking down a complete Sega CD collection.
Starting point is 00:38:14 I got 32X. I want to play some 32 bit games. Just get a Saturn. I don't understand why. Why would you bother with 32X? So there is a great scene where he scratches off the paint and reveals this Latin inscription on the wall. And then he's also looking at his laptop and watches video footage of the soldiers in
Starting point is 00:38:37 Iraq finding the exact same inscription on a tomb wall. And you see Eric Bannis slowly turned the computer to double check this. He's asking for shit. As Stuart said, and we're watching it for the dummies in the audience. I would love to be like, put like a pencil next to each pictogram and then like looked up and like,
Starting point is 00:38:55 all right, that one. And that one. The only way they could have... Oh, no, this one is it. Oh, no, no, no, it is. Okay. The only way they could have spelled it out more for the audience is if Eric Banna literally said, it the same one and then the devil showed up and said yes, it's a devil thing You got me you got me. It's the sea in act three
Starting point is 00:39:16 And then what shook his hand and left Vote for me Running for alderman. Oh vote for me. I'm running for alderman. Oh, okay. Holder minute of the broadcast. Yeah, I was going to say another that was an elected position. Oh, yeah, yeah, devil.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Yeah, you serve out up to three three-year terms. Okay. It should be three-six-year terms, but they did not think it through at the time. The hell constitutional convention was so contentious, they could barely compromise on anything. That's why sometimes you got a really evil devil,
Starting point is 00:39:45 and sometimes you get like the devil on like those devil hands. Or really not so much. That's why you go into the polls and you're just like, well, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just voting for the greater of two evils right now. That's the best I can hope for. So she goes to see Jane, the woman from the zoo, in the, in the mental hospital with Mendoza, the priest,
Starting point is 00:40:06 and the Dr. Andudi is not happy to let them in. He is a nerd. He is a real nerd who refuses to get up from his desk. And when they go, he shows Jane the picture. Probably reading a fucking zoo book or something. Yeah, Ranger Rick or some shit, nerd. Because he's apparently a little kid too. Reading a zoo book. Yeah, you Rick or some shit nerd because he's apparently a little kid Yeah, yeah, I'm a pot of mess who gives a shit. I'm busy reading up on old world monkeys
Starting point is 00:40:42 So he shows Jane his phone with a that he took a picture of the inscription and she responds by like laughing and then biting his arm till blood just flows. Now this is a common mistake. She read his name, which is Eric Banna, and she thought, must be Eric Bonanna. She's wrong, it's Eric Banna. I made the same mistake. But you've been there, I think he was a bonnet. He was a bonnet. And blood went everywhere.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Because he's a human feeling, I guess. Unlike most people, all of his blood is just blood at first layer of skin cells It's really cool about it. No, he was totally he's like this happens all the time I might get cheers this happens all the time Bonza The number of bloody shea Les who have bit me on Yeah, do you do you want an autograph and still like no thanks?
Starting point is 00:41:23 He's hiding you you were the worst Hulk got to go what about it not It was right cook among I don't know that's I guess that's not Yeah, that was what he sounded like in flawless starring Philipsy more Hoffman and Robert De Niro Is that the movie where the guy takes the drug becomes flawless? His brain has no flaws. That's it.
Starting point is 00:41:48 We know that would be terrible. All the wrinkles smooth out of his brain and he loses all of his knowledge. We really shouldn't have invented this brain smoothening drug. It turns out people are not that bothered by the wrinkles in their brain. Basically the like a reverse flowers were out of the dog, right? Yeah. Which he goes from smart to dumb and then what smart again at the end is life is fine.
Starting point is 00:42:10 They found a super intelligent mouse and gave it dumb drugs. And then he got smart again. Which they also just called drugs. You make a good point. You make a good point. That's what the blind stands for. I guess there's a reason they don't make movie about movies about magic drugs that make you dumb.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Yeah. Because that's just what drugs do. Don't you drugs kids? Yeah, drugs support me until for dumb drugs. Yeah, it's just like, had it's for head, had it. For head, had it. Everyone remembers that famous part, man. So Mendoza explains that this inscription is some kind of Christian pagan inscription
Starting point is 00:42:44 that opens a portal to let a demon into the human world. And some people are more susceptible to demons than others. And guess what? Eric Banna's cop has this special magic demon radar power that means that it's easier for demons to drive him super nuts. So, and it has to do with they talk about how Mendosa talks about how he was a big sinner before he became a priest. And it is a really cool conversation in a bar that's in the back of a firehouse. Yeah. Like the only way you can get in there is like going through a firehouse. We're like firemen in the work, not the house that's on fire throughout all of Sinectig
Starting point is 00:43:17 A. New York. Not that house at all. Okay. But also this is where you realize, oh, this is why they're playing the doors because they're trying to open a door Which is they keep singing break on through to the other side because guess what Satan's trying to do He's trying to Oh, I get it. He's trying to mojo rising It is the dumbest use of a song since I think when they were all singing time is on my side in what's it called?
Starting point is 00:43:44 Ascension? Fallen? No, I think the dumbest use of a song is still that love scene in the Watchmen movie. Oh, and they sang Hallelujah? Yeah, that was the duck. That was pretty bad. That's the worst thing I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:43:57 So they go to the apartment building where some stuff happens and. There's this great scene where they're in that bar behind the firehouse. And the priest is like, dude, you want to hear some fucking crazy shit. And he's like, I don't want to hear your band bro. So he pulls out his fucking tube. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's called stigmata. And it's a totally cool Christian rock band.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Yeah, crucifictorious. He pulls out his zoom and Eric Banna pops in those fucking earbuds and he hits play. And whoo. He listens to audio of a real exorcism. He pulls that as soon and Eric Manopops in those fucking earbuds and he hits play and whoa. He listens to audio of a real exorcism. Super scary. It's much scarier than listening to audio of a real circumcision, which is just a baby crying and someone spouting Hebrew and everyone in the family look it away. Because it's...
Starting point is 00:44:40 You don't believe it, look at it. Well, here's the thing, and this will make me sound like a monster. When my son was circumcised, everyone else was kind of horrified and looked away, but I wanted to see how this worked. So I was watching the whole time, and I found it fascinating. Mm-hmm. And I was like, that's what they did to my penis when I was a baby. Chopped off half of it, right? That's what happens.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Not half. That's what you do. They take out a tiny guillotine, and they just cut it in half. Like a little cigar chopper, like a glass pan? There is like a little cigar chopper and they just cut it in half. Like a little cigar chopper, like a duck pan? There is like a little cigar chopper that they use in part of it. Unless someone write in and tell me if I used a very unprofessional oil.
Starting point is 00:45:12 But anyway, that's a special one. You can do the Gracho Mark's impression. There's a, yeah, you know, when he took the four skin and wagled it like a cigar and said, hello, I must be going and then just flicked it out the window. And I was like, that's biological waste. Grounds your markstone.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Dr. Tails. What? Soup tails. You're thinking of brain donors. Anyway, moving along, they go to a building where the abusive husband from before, who's now turned into a full on beast man. And I forgot to say that earlier, he attacked Eric Banna and then all fours galloped away through a window like a leaveschriberin Wolverine.
Starting point is 00:45:57 And they fight that guy. And meanwhile, Joe McHale has the misfortune of falling a foul of Santino, who in one of the most lazy fights I've seen in a long time, it's Axe versus Knife and Santino just kind of like hits him with an ax a lot. And Joel McHale just gives up at a certain point. Yep. Yeah. It's just, yeah. It's like it's time for my character to, it's just stand up, Joel McHale. Just literally just stand up Dan Harman's back on community. It's time for me to go
Starting point is 00:46:30 Chevy left. Okay, I'm done with this movie. I'll go back to that and I'm like yeah, I like that it's like right me out like the screenwriter is just on set Yeah, you're in the end of the movie make a big fight or something take me out of the fight We all it was all that about your whole arc There's the all the foreshadowing with you and that's and that knife Why why would we put that in if not to use it later whatever whatever? I don't know But uh six seasons of movie. I at this point. I was not sure why those evil characters were hanging around that building still The here's the the villains this movie can't tend to like hang around in places
Starting point is 00:47:03 They think the heroes will show up in and then attack the heroes and then run away. It's kind of like how occasionally taken a bite of the Erkman. It's been a couple times. It's like how in the Tim Burton Batman, the first one Batman's bat plane crashes into a building that all the Joker's henchmen just happened to already be hiding in to be ready to Batman? Like he's in the level from a video game. Mm-hmm. Well, I mean, like Gotham City at that point was lousy with Joker, Joker Hinchman.
Starting point is 00:47:30 Do you think every building in the city had some Joker Hinchman in it, just in case? Yeah, I mean, he converted the populace pretty quickly. Like, look at all these great Wilson's leather jackets, I get to wear. So I want a lot of money. Well, there's a lot of money going on. He goes, he goes, Batman, I'm giving out free money.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Now who do you trust? And it's like, well, I mean, I like you more because you give me money. I don't still don't trust you. You're a hideous clown man. Conjured up a parade out of nowhere with like a big duck float or something. And now your throat is horrifying balloons I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:48:01 And like, to be honest, and you destroyed the art gallery. Yeah, those were prices paintings and you destroyed the art gallery. Yeah, those were prices paintings, except for the Francis Bacon of all things, the painting nobody likes, and the idea that I gave you money, so you trust me, right?
Starting point is 00:48:13 No, if anything, I'm kind of wondering where this money came from. It seems kind of shady, but I like that you gave me money. And it probably smells weird. Yeah, oh, sure, it smells like a Joker keeps it in his armpit. Yeah, like, smilex or whatever. It's well
Starting point is 00:48:26 Yeah, does the money have smilex on it? I don't remember I don't know if you have smilex in them. Okay, should just put it on the money. Yeah Then they're smeared all over them because that's what you do with money when it flies off of a parade flows Just smeared on your face. Yeah, like oh, that's so good. Oh Like a perfume sample? Yes, it's like, when you walk through a mall and they're just spraying money at you,
Starting point is 00:48:50 everywhere you're like, stop it. I smell like everyone's pants pockets. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Smell like the inside of an automated teller machine. Like a clowns hanker, too. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Clowns hanky is a perfume that I'd like to see them sell it from Calvin from Kevin clown been
Starting point is 00:49:10 clown. Calvin clown. I'm just clapping. I'm missing all the obvious funds tonight. Calvin clown would do it so that one. Anyway, he's the he's unhappy. He's been losing it getting mad at his family. Eric Banna, he has a wife and a daughter.
Starting point is 00:49:29 We haven't really mentioned it. Eric Banna is supposed to be spending too much time at work, but we clearly saw him attending his daughter's soccer game earlier, so I know what that's all about. So that's a good dad's, I could add. He finds out that his wife and daughter have been kidnapped by Santino. He is not happy.
Starting point is 00:49:42 And stealing a card from seven and other movies that are too lazy to have the hero actually finds the villain. Santino just shows up in Eric Banna's house because it's time for act three and tells him, hey, will you let a demon inside you? Because then I'll tell you where your wife and daughter is. He says no and arrest Santino. Santino is no longer putting up a fight. He's not biting anybody except himself for the rest of the movie because the devil is very conscious of plot structure and how
Starting point is 00:50:08 much time is left in the movie. And that it's act three now, we got to get moving. They have an exorcism in an interrogation room. And frankly, I was thinking while you're watching it, it would be a pretty neat concept to have an exorcism done at like a police interrogation where they're prized in the copper acting good cut bad cut, but they're not. It's just your standard interrogation scene. They yell a lot of Latin prayers at him while he just screams and it like the lights flicker on and off and he bites his own leg and then he extends his neck back for no reason. This is where he starts.
Starting point is 00:50:38 And he's got lots of words carved into him. Yeah, like Zaz. Like Zaz, but with words. It's like if Zaz meets Momento. In a movie I like to call the murderer and the memory man. This is where I started dozing off. Was there ever any payoff to like the other cop who came and like looked in the window and he's like, what the hell? No, he just said, I'm going on there. He just said, what the fuck a couple times. Oh, here. So I skipped over
Starting point is 00:51:02 part of all those. He's a post-cred credit scene we didn't see. Yeah, a stinger. Where he's waiting and he's like, guys, are you gonna book this guy or what? But, somebody let me out of this interrogation. I've lost my key. I mean, it really seemed like the next scene was like him like breaking in with a bunch of other cops to shut down this rogue exorcism that was going to be.
Starting point is 00:51:19 That would have been, that would have made sense. That didn't happen. Yeah. But then he saw, I guess, the real exorcism and he was like, gotta go. I forgot to,. Yeah. But then he saw, I guess, the real ecstasy, when he was like, got to go. I forgot to, there's a part where Mendoza, after, uh, the drug dealing. After, after Joan the Kailas killed, Eric Bann reveals to Mendoza, the drug dealing priest, that, uh, there's a darkness in his soul. And he's had it ever since he, when he was off duty once, he knew that there was a child killer on the
Starting point is 00:51:45 loose. And where the desk sergeant is giving everyone their assignment, he goes, this guy's, he's had 11 counts of child assault, and now two accounts of child murder. So go out and get this guy off the streets. And it's like, how do you know he did so many things with this? I mean, catch him. But where Eric Banna walks by a crime scene where six-year-old girl has been killed
Starting point is 00:52:09 and stuffed in a garbage can, thus producing the second of the garbage bail. Talk about a garbage bail kit. As Stuart said, it's okay, they're fictional characters. It's not real. Eric Banna, even though he was out with his family, he notices that he's so horrified with the crime scene and then he recognizes the killer has shown up to be a spectator
Starting point is 00:52:25 He chases after him and then just punches him to death. He is not brought up on charges I guess he does him full street justice and the thing is the movie goes so like they They bring this up in the first place because it's supposed to be something that haunts him like some some sin that is haunting and so this Image that he's been that's been flashing in his memory is the bloody face this guy killed and the laughter of the children who are at the scene. But they make no effort to actually make it seem like he did anything wrong in this case.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Like they made this guy clearly had to be some kind of demon monster. He's the worst the worst. He's a child killer child rapist. It's like the it's like how in Rambo, just to make sure you're not on board with the leader of the evil Burmese military guys, they also make him a pedophile. They've stacked the deck so far in favor of
Starting point is 00:53:13 you not really caring that Eric Manne killed somebody because he's the evilest man that ever lived. This side of Santini, the devil man. And then does it's like, I'm so terrible for him. Because the worst sin of all is not loving your children. Hi, I'm Paul Duffie. I'm Paul Duffie. I'm Paul Dano from there will be blood where the guy abandoned his boy. Pretty bad, right? He was not a good dad.
Starting point is 00:53:41 He was a bad dad, much like Gerard Butler in the movie. Bad dad, soccer dad. Don't be like that. Be a good dad. He was a bad dad, much like Gerard Butler in the movie, bad dad soccer dad. Don't be like that. Be a good dad. I'm Paul Dano. The more you know, the more I don't know, I'd like to change my name officially to Paul dad. Just to show how much I support dad's. Hi, I'm Patrick Duffy, star of step by step, and other things too. And I'm here to talk to you about dads. Have one today.
Starting point is 00:54:10 I've been so much to you now. I've been so much to you now. I've been changing my name to dad, Drick Duffy. To Patrick Daddy. But that would be creepy. Hello. Because then people would call me Mr. Daddy when I showed up at hotels, and that's weird. Hey, Dan.
Starting point is 00:54:22 Hello, I'm Pete Inny. I'm Peter Celebrity with the initials PD. Gotta go. Not even a change is known to P daddy. It's right there. Or penis department. penis. Diddy. Hi, I'm penis. Diddy, a song about a penis that goes like this. Diddy, diddy, diddy, diddy. Whoa. Hi, my name's daddy to companyovny. I'm David DeCovny's dad. And I'd like to talk to you about being a dad. Welcome to my new show The D-Files. The D does not stand for dad. It stands for Dick. I'm a member of the NYPD, not the New York Penis Department, the New York penis department, the New York police dicks. We solve penis-related crimes using only our penises.
Starting point is 00:55:07 The more you know, let me stop this tape right there. Are the rest of these NBC public service promos all about penises? Yeah, we got out of the horror movie business because that pitch we did about the hair and the eyeballs didn't go so well. We got into this. They seem to be working along that cop plus not a cop formula. You know, in this case, it's penis, not a penis.
Starting point is 00:55:30 And dads are involved somehow. Well, absentee fathers are a major problem. But what does that have to with penises? Well, you can't be a dad without a penis. Let's just get one thing straight. Please leave my office. So anyway, there's a whole, so he has that sin because he killed that guy. They have the whole exorcism, it goes on for a long time.
Starting point is 00:55:55 And it is one of these things where, here's one I'm just going to say. And you know what, this might be controversial. A whole mile away. Thank you. You don't know what it is. You're welcome. I've always thought exorcisms are not scary because I don't believe in that religion.
Starting point is 00:56:09 And I don't buy into that basic premise. But they're especially not scary because here's how an exorcism goes. A demon is restrained in some way. It's yelling at you. You yell back at it and eventually it leaves. You're like, get out of here, demon. Go, get out of here.
Starting point is 00:56:26 So like essentially, get along, little demon. Kind of. In the name of Christ, go away. And the demon's like, oh, you got me. I didn't know you knew that Jesus trick. I didn't realize you knew that the evil, that the enemy of demons is the most famous religious figure
Starting point is 00:56:40 on the planet. Gotta go, I guess. But you deal with the demon the same way you deal with like a homeless man under your window who won't go away, who's yelling really loud, he's like, hey, go away, go away. And then he does. So this demon is never a threat to them in this scene and they defeat him, they manage to expunge the demon,
Starting point is 00:57:00 they expel him, and then they find his wife and daughter, turns out they were with the paint truck, and they have another baby, and Mendoza baptizes the baby. And they go, do you reject Satan and all his evil or whatever, and Eric Banna, he might as well have looked at the damn camera, goes, yes. And he totally winks. And then the credits are all.
Starting point is 00:57:21 Big twist ending here, reject Satan. This twist ending is that he doesn't turn. If only, yeah, if only the end credits played with like, please, to meet you. Yeah. Simity for the devil. Simity for the devil. Simity for the devil.
Starting point is 00:57:34 Please, to meet you. Please, to meet you on the devil. Because I like to call songs by just random lines that are in them. That is not the, that is the most well-known line. You're in every song. It's not the name of the song. You know that great Billy Joel song, Harry Truman Dars Day.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Mr. Maloney down a mulligan street. What? What? Moving up. Moving up, yeah. So this is time to make our final judgments on this movie. Was it totally scarifying, totally snorifying, or frightening
Starting point is 00:58:10 and funny? In my case, it was literally snorkeling. Literally for you to sleep. I'm going to invent a new category called category, category. I'm going to invent a new category called grossly goopifying. Because it was a really gory, gross movie. And I have to admit, there was part of me that like
Starting point is 00:58:26 It was a little too gory at times, but it like it was disgusting Yeah, but it was like a little tummy. It is it my my tummy was like good thing There's only Popeyes fried chicken in here because that's like it like having a velvet pillow or a silk Silk shawls in here. It's so soft otherwise. I might be a pizukin all over the place, but because it's shawls in here. It's so soft. Otherwise, I might be pizukin' all over the place. But the fact to see, I haven't seen a lot of Marm and horror movies that are actually like gross out movies.
Starting point is 00:58:50 Yeah. They're usually just jump out and scare you in movies with their like sadistic torture movies. And it was nice to see a movie that had some gross, gory stuff in it. But almost all the scares were just like quiet, quiet, quiet. Boo, a thing jumped at you. And that got very repetitive.
Starting point is 00:59:04 It was a very like generic movie. It felt very stitched together from other horror movies. Yeah. Though it did have a great scene where a crazy lady kills a doctor and then walks toward the camera holding the ring of keys in her mouth like a puppy. Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah, Jane escapes merely so that she can jump off a building
Starting point is 00:59:22 in front of Eric Banna's car. And Eric Banna acts reacts to this like nothing like someone off a building in front of Eric Banna's car. And Eric Banna reacts to this like, like, someone through a can in the street. Eric Banna's reactions to most things in this movie are like, I guess I got another dead body on my hands. In this movie, you have the most apathetic cop versus the most apathetic demon controlled man. They're both kind of like, whatever, okay.
Starting point is 00:59:44 But I forgot the part where Jane escapes. She kills the doctor who came to bring her some lunch, I guess. And yeah, she crawls out with the keys in her mouth and her eyes wide open, staring at the camera like, are you buying this? And everyone in this movie would be scarier if they didn't have a lot of goopy clown paint on their face. But it's like, it's hard for me to believe these as real people who were possessed by a demon when they're already painted up like a fucking jugalow. Yes. So Stuart, what was your judgment?
Starting point is 01:00:12 What are the fucking categories again? He saw it was snorfying. Okay. It was snorfying with a dash of goopy gross, goobly guts. Go for guts. Yeah, go for guts. This is a camp sing along. Yeah. Yeah, goobly, go for guts. Yeah, go for guts. This is a camp sing along. Yeah, yeah, go eat worms. So what's the next part of this podcast? So we talked about the delivers from
Starting point is 01:00:31 you. Do we do every week? What do we do now? Well, now we, the computer and we leave turn on the lights, letters from listeners before. Is this the part where one of us kisses you Dan and you have your eyes closed and you have to guess which one of us it is? Wait, were you not recording those all this time? You said it was the most where one of us kisses you Dan and you have your eyes closed and you have to guess which one of us it is. And wait, were you not recording those all this time? You said it was the most popular part of the podcast. You went immediately towards that. You jumped to that so quickly. Like there's no evidence for that.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Um, well, I knew it all the time. I was just in it for the anonymous kisses. So before we... Which is also the name of my erotic append name, anonymous kisses. Well, the story is that he's Greek before you get into for you to the normal letters I want to thank some people for sending us gifts uh the first is for me they're always for you I rarely get gifts which is fine
Starting point is 01:01:21 I'm not I'm not fishing for gifts It's a gift from Lawrence Allen who writes, hi Dan, I didn't know what to get you, but then I remember that you like butts. So here's a movie about them. Anyway, hang in there, buddy. The Flopnace was pulling for you from Lawrence Allen. And you got me, Tinto Bress's cheeky. Oh, a classic movie about butts from.
Starting point is 01:01:41 That I admit that I'm already familiar with, but now I'm glad to I want a copy display it proudly in your home. The unrated English version so. So would you call Tinto brass the poet laureate of butts? I would call them that. It's amazing how some directors have themes Alfred Hitchhawks would often be like the fear of being accused of a crime you didn't commit. And Francis Ford Covello's would be what like that Jack was too old for his age. And Stephen Spielberg is often about the wonder of innocence and childhood and dinner dresses as butts.
Starting point is 01:02:17 Well, I mean, there's so many movies out there about subjects that aren't worth a movie being about, like, you know, a cop doing exorcisms or something. And finally, there's a movie out there about something that is an endless source of. Yeah. Celebration of the pinnacle of human existence. Yeah. Is it a coincidence that his last name has asked in it?
Starting point is 01:02:39 Did it don't press? What do you mean, like, if it's a coincidence? I mean, it's like, I don't know. What's a coincidence? Explain that phenomenon to me. I don't know. Very different from Tintin brass. I want it.
Starting point is 01:02:54 Nope. Done with Tintin jokes. I wonder what the actual Italian name of this movie is. I assume that the cheek is not cheeked because of Trans-French play. Like like whatever's Italian for butts. Yeah. Um, so thank you very much, Lauren. There's a special feature on this called backstage with Tinto breast. Mm, you know what that means. Mm-hmm. Butts. Yeah. What else you got there, Dan? Uh, this goes like this.
Starting point is 01:03:24 Okay. Says dear like this. Okay. It says, Oh, thanks. not a doctor who fan, I actually hate that show. The Grey Owl bow ties for Elliott because of his no-at-all tendencies and they were, and how they remind me of a cartoon owl. Oh, thanks. The multi-colored one is for Stuart
Starting point is 01:03:52 because it is the most spooks per square inch. Okay. The glow in the dark spider web bow ties. That was because I don't know, like an international guy. Wait, why does the international guy get a lot? You're the best source for dudes. I'm a cosmopolitan fellow. The glow-in-the-dark spider web bow ties for Dan
Starting point is 01:04:12 because Dan is my favorite, I wanted him after the coolest one. Well, thank you. Owls are pretty cool. Stay spooky fellas. Yours truly. Liz middle name young. If you wanted to plug my bow tie store subtlestituary dot Etsy dot com that would be cool subtle stitchery yeah subtle stitchery dot
Starting point is 01:04:32 Etsy dot com thanks for the bow ties you can even though they were a way of just having us mention your business what do we start Jones that are wedding so the great should we take some pictures of us tying each other up erotically with these bow ties I don't think we should do that. Oh, and they're a they're the easy type of Botai. You don't have to You don't have to spend a lot to get them in the sack. Yeah There you go. Just take them to like I'm like non-alens or I mean to put a little bit of effort into it like a chucky cheezers chucky cheezers Like a Chuckie cheezers. Chuckie cheezers.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Chuckie teasers. So Stuart, when do your business card start saying Cosmopolitan fellow? Because they should. But this bow time, even though this is the easy kind, I'm still having trouble with it. I think my neck is too fat. I think all these bow ties were made a little too slim
Starting point is 01:05:23 on the neck to make us feel bad Or to strengthen us to death. I got it. I got it. I finally tighten it up. It's flop guys. All right There you go. This is the music you tighten up bow ties to How's my look Dan? This is great. It's amazing. I look like a genius. I'll use a great podcasting So you everyone who's listening can see us with our bow ties on, right? Dan, what do we need another letter or something? Hold on, we gotta get out of my pocket. Well, great producing.
Starting point is 01:05:53 This is why we want all those parties. It is not an award for podcasts, but an award for things that belong in the toilet. I do like the field of Spote, though. It looks good on you. It matches your polo shirt. Yeah, yeah, I guess it does. It doesn't go very well with your newspaper boy cap. No, it doesn't, which is turned backwards. Because it's like, it doesn't cool like Joe Pantoliano.
Starting point is 01:06:21 So this first one goes like this, dear flopsy, moopsy and Cottontail. About six months after listening to episode 155, I saw a copy of last Vegas in the dollar bin at the grocery store. I was delighted to see that your critique was... That's a well-street. That's a well-street. A well-street.
Starting point is 01:06:38 I was delighted to see that your critique of this walking bi-agre pill was spot on. Given your obvious ability to tell the future, I have a role-playing slash choose-run adventure question for each of you. Dan, if you couldn't be the titular hero, and would it still be titular if she was called but see the vampire slayer? Which character?
Starting point is 01:06:58 There's gotta be something called that already. Which character on the Buffy, Weedon versus most like you? Elliot, leaving aside Spidey Parker, which character in the Marvel make money handover of Fist Universe is most like you? Do, if you couldn't be one of the power triumvirate of Luke Leah Hahn, which character in the Star Wars Marvel, more money than God Universe is most like you? Now I'd say that I'm sort of a combo zander jiles.
Starting point is 01:07:25 I combined the I don't know these characters. I combine the under appreciated love ability yet no one cares about him. This of zander and the tweety disproval of jiles. Okay, I'll take your word for it. I don't know that show that well. No, I think that's fair. I'd like to think that if I'm not like a Modak type. Yeah, well, I'd like to think if I'm not Spider-Man,
Starting point is 01:07:53 like Nightcrawler or Beast, but I'm probably Modak. Just a little guy in a chair complaining about stuff and designed only for killing. I mean, I think I think it's pretty clear. I think if I was in the Star Wars universe, I would be the, you know, the eternal best friend and height man. Gredo.
Starting point is 01:08:15 Chubaka, aka Stubaka. That's interesting. I have a large-sized Chubaka. I also know how to use un I'm proficient in bocast to use. Yeah. We have a large Chubaka toy at home that my son Samu likes to play with and lately he's been putting his old shoes on it. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:08:33 So I realized my son has invented his first pun, Chubaka. Nice. I'm very proud of him. This next letter is along these lines, exactly. Because you're reading it. Beerus peaches. For years, my father has been insisting that I watch the Wayne's brothers,
Starting point is 01:08:52 dwarf slash cat burglar movie, Little Man. It has become a running joke for us. Prem is stolen from a Warner Brothers cartoon. But it is based in his genuine affection for the piece. I recently gave him the criterion edition of Little Muru for his birthday. I think it's falling on deaf ears. And he refuses to watch it with me unless I watch Little Man alone first. He wants you to watch a loan not even with him because he doesn't want to like
Starting point is 01:09:15 fuck up your experience. He doesn't want to buy us it. Yeah. Because he loves it so much. He's going to be saying all the lines along at the same time. He's going to be slapping him on the like when watch this part, watch this part. He's gonna get up and start play acting at some of the scenes like no theater. My resistance might break soon. Dan, I assume they've shown this movie on planes. Is it really that bad? What should I do?
Starting point is 01:09:37 Brian last name without. I've never, I've not seen little man. Does anyone see him? He haven't seen. And like, I mean, in the world. So I got govann over here. I remember the trailer. Yeah. Has anyone seen the one? You haven't seen it. I mean, in the world. So I got govann over here. I remember the trailer. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:48 I remember seeing the trailer and saying, that was the plot of a Bugs Bunny cartoon, sir. And you are no Bugs Bunny. And you wins are no Bugs Bunny. But yeah, I haven't seen it. I've seen Little Man Tate. Yeah, I've seen Little Big Man. That was the same movie.
Starting point is 01:10:04 We've seen those. Yeah. I've seen little big man. That was the same movie. We've seen those. Yeah, I've seen big trouble in little man China. See man on fire. Little man. I wish I was watching Dan on fire. The movie where Dan takes revenge. Oh, okay. By sticking a grenade in somebody's butt. You just wanted to set me on fire and I wasn't very happy with it. Yeah, that is not a good thing to do. That's the wicker Dan is the movie where I say Dan's fight. Wicker Dan, you put an English policeman inside a Dan and then set it on fire. So, killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey. That's true.
Starting point is 01:10:32 That's true. Oh, but it sells pretty well in the farmer's market. Stuart Wellington's goddamn honey. It's all farm fresh. So, sorry, we haven't seen little man. Don't know what to tell you. Yeah. When one of them flop contests.
Starting point is 01:10:50 I think your dad might not be the right person to watch Akiru as brilliant a movie as it is. So last letter of the evening, dear floppers, while listening through archived episodes, I've been delighted again and again by all the references to phantasm. You see, my father was a phantasm fan when I was a kid Phantasm back before I'd ever heard of anyone but him back before I had ever heard anyone but him talk about the movie as a result It is the first horror film I can ever remember seeing and I saw it quite a tender age The first time I ever saw a VCR in my life was when my father rented one just to watch a tape of Phantasm he had acquired.
Starting point is 01:11:26 He recorded some audio. Mysterious means. He recorded some audio. He all started with some tuning for it. He recorded some audio from it, specifically the sequence leading up to the famous cry of boy. And later used that tape for atmosphere as he passed out Halloween candy. He even had my fifth birthday. Not just like a dream dinner To wake you up in the morning or anything
Starting point is 01:11:51 You eat a good dinner boy. Now do your chores. He even had my fifth birthday cake inscribed you play a good game girl This would have been in November 1979. I think they were referenced on deaf ears. I'm including links to two photos of my fifth birthday cake. One, including me, my clothing should prove it was the late 1970s. And one, just with the cake, and it's fantastic. If you're not courting up that day's newspaper, then I don't like to. I hope you enjoy. And she has a PS.
Starting point is 01:12:18 I graduated from her own college in 1996, which I think means I'm probably a little too old to have met the early might floppers there. Yeah, that was when I graduated from high school. So we just missed each other. I was still in high school, but I'm a good girl. I'm probably swimming in my dad's ball sack back then. But...
Starting point is 01:12:34 1996? That doesn't make any sense. This is from Heather last name with hell. Unless you had some sort of an inner space accident and were injected into it. So I have the photos from Heather an inner space accident and we're injected into it So I have the photos from Heather last name with held and I they're They are adorable It's so the phantasm cake with a five-year-old girl What's weird is that everything everything else in the room in the room party room is peanuts themed. It's all snoopy
Starting point is 01:13:02 So I guess a lot of people at the party were like, I don't remember Snoopy saying that. It's not a famous line. Well originally Angus Grim was going to play Snoopy and then they just got Snoopy. They didn't realize that good grief boy. I guess Charlie Brown says good grief. What's the head I feel like if you hadn't already met your soul mate and the Heather might be the girl for you, or at least her dad. Yeah. So what I'm doing with my son and Spider-Man, he's doing with his daughter and phantasm.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Yeah. Similar. Although I have been teaching my son to say Ghostbusters in response to who you're gonna call, he really likes the Ghostbusters song. We've been dancing to it a lot at home. And I ask him, I go, who you're gonna call? And I can see him struggling to remember it.
Starting point is 01:13:45 Like it's on the tip of his tongue. And I go, ghost busters and he goes, yeah. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha. Hmm. I mean, well, at least she's learned the lesson. Whether, you know, whether or not he can express it himself. That's true.
Starting point is 01:13:59 He knows it. Yeah. He knows it when he hears it. That's why he suggests it to him. Yeah, this is why you have kids to force your interests upon them until they rebel against them. Yeah, he's gonna be like, this is the ghost busters from my generation dad their women. Does that frighten you?
Starting point is 01:14:12 And we like, no. Um, so is your childhood ruined dad? And you're like, son, your voice is so deep. You play a good game, dad. The more you know, I'm Angus Scrim for dad, Tess. It's a horrible. He's daddy is my name. Be standing for fantasy.
Starting point is 01:14:37 A fantasy of daddy. Then my feed is the New York fantasy. You if there was the New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York
Starting point is 01:14:52 Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta
Starting point is 01:15:00 New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New York Fanta New Fanta New� Fanta New York� the New York streets with the baseball bat swan word or Catching the occasional robes Get out of here your stupid fantasam orbs Even the streets safe. What you they do is that mother is strong for a long time that the policy was you just bought the orba ticket Bust ticket to Boston just send it on its way.
Starting point is 01:15:28 We don't like your kind around here. Imagine the orb just floating above the seat, moving along with the bus. You see this baseball bat? This means not welcome. And then there's an orb in the rain with its hairs like that. It's coward. So you're so, so you're comparing the Jewish character in school ties to some sort of
Starting point is 01:15:51 any human killer metal orb. I don't know how, so how this became the most anti-Semitic podcast in the world that, that Gizmo is working for Hitler and the orb from Pantheantasm were Jews, to say, that's revisionist history. Should we recommend things now, Dan? Yeah, what do we do? And then we bring this to a blessed end. The part of the... How we talk so long, though, this...
Starting point is 01:16:15 Oh, my God. This is the part of the podcast where we make recommendations of movies that you should watch instead of all. Because we spent like 20 minutes putting on our bow ties. And... Podcast magic. movies that you should watch instead of all. Because we spent like 20 minutes putting on our photos. Podcast magic. And you know, you know, jam some movie knowledge and somebody's ear Dan. Yeah, I'm going to recommend Jiggy. Right.
Starting point is 01:16:38 I mean, yeah, fill it up, dude. Yeah, I mean, my number one recommendation is cheeky. But if you want a Shocktober recommendation, I just recently on what's cheeky, while wearing a ghost costume. I just recently watched on Netflix streaming Hellbound, Hellraiser 2, which I had no expectations for, and wound up loving it.
Starting point is 01:17:02 It's totally crazy. It's super crazy, right? It starts off with a skinless man being stretched apart and it doesn't slow down from there. There's a scene with a guy using a razor to cut bugs off of him. And then later on, the hero goes through a psycho ward into a crazy alternate universe, Alice of Wonderland pinhead world.
Starting point is 01:17:23 Did Climber direct that one I don't think so now I think now I looked at that. We did not record which means that it's a little more coherent Yeah, how razor even though it's still totally nutty and That's I think that's how it was how was advertised was a More coherent than then how razor but still totally nutty tons of nuts a morco here at then then how razor but still totally nutting tons of nuts Chottacle like a fucking like a fucking payday I sometimes you feel like this movie sometimes you don't I was saying to stew that uh
Starting point is 01:18:02 In the 80s there were a whole school of Horror movies that were kind of this fantasy horror movie, like some of the later Nightmare on Almsdreet's or Phantasm as it went along, where, and you know, another live-barker film Nightbreed, but movies where it's all about crazy dream imagery, horrific dream imagery. And that's kind of a type of horror movie that you don't see anymore, that crossover horror fantasy just zany-ness. And I miss it. The horror is a lot more earthbound than rhyming.
Starting point is 01:18:42 Yeah. Well, also, I mean, those movies were expensive when they made them. And now people realize like, oh, just give me a fucking camcorder. And I can make a found footage movie. Give me a laptop. And I can make an unfriended four or whatever. Yeah. That's true.
Starting point is 01:18:57 I think that, yeah, there's a, there was a sense for a while that maybe they're like similar to, it's not exactly the same as similar similar to, like, hunk stripping away all the excess and weirdness of 70s rock that, like, the types of movies that were more, like, either found footage or torture porn were, like, stripping back to the elements. And maybe it's time that that pendulum's going back in the other direction. Yeah, except for, I don't think I would like the new version of it, because these old movies had such beautiful practical effects, and I feel like if they did a new version of that, it would look like Tim Burton's house in Wonderland. It'd be like Crimson Peak, which comes out this weekend.
Starting point is 01:19:30 Yeah, I guess Crimson Peak is that kind of movie supposedly I haven't seen it because I haven't come out yet. Anyway, watch it. You can see it on Netflix. Streaming. Streaming indeed. Now, for people I haven't seen the first hell razor, would you say that it'll be totally lost? No, none of those movies make any sense. That's true. Right into the story. His story checks out. That's how we know he's not a pinhead trying to trick us. I don't have a shocktober recommendation.
Starting point is 01:19:56 I've just had a regular one. Good. I have an awesome sloptober recommendation. I'm tover. Sloptober. Sloptober. It's called Rooballs because these are slabs. So I'm gonna recommend a Shocktober Spook of I'm scaring up called death gasm available on VOD right now Death gasm is a video of death. That's what it means
Starting point is 01:20:17 Death gasm is a kind of like a splatter horror comedy from New Zealand that clearly is a splatter horror comedy from New Zealand that clearly has a lot of love for early Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson and even some like Edgar Wright stuff. And it's about a pair of metalhead dudes who get together and they form a heavy metal band and by playing a song that they find in a weird abandoned house, they summon a demon from hell and then they have to kill a bunch of demons in the process. And it has a lot of practical special effects. It's gross. It's funny. And it's got a lot of good heavy metal music. So totally checking out death gassam. I you know what I realized I do have a shocktober recommendation. So I'm going to recommend two
Starting point is 01:21:09 movies real quick. One is shocktober, one is not for shocktober. An old classic that I don't remember if I've recommended before if I have I apologize. And that is Mad Love starring Peter Laurie, which is a movie that is super creepy and weird. He is this creepy bald guy who becomes obsessed with an actress who is in like a grand guineau type, I don't know how to pronounce it, type theater of blood in the grotesque and whose the woman's husband is a surgeon and or the woman is a piano player. I can't remember the husband does.
Starting point is 01:21:40 The point is he loses his hands in a train accident and Peter Laurie replaces them with a knife throwing murderers hands But that the hands are kind of forgotten because Peter Laurie's character is so creepy and scary that you don't really need it But it's a really effective tight little creepy thriller movie that I think Carl Freund was who directed it the guy who's a cinematographer for metropolis need directed the mummy So that's my Shocktober recommendation so we can get some old movies in here. And then I saw a new movie recently
Starting point is 01:22:09 that doesn't need my help to become successful because it's a top movie right now. But a song movie called The Mars Man, starring Max Demon, directed by a gridley spot. But I saw The Martian and I enjoyed it a lot. I liked it. It sounded a lot scarier before. Yeah, it's a...
Starting point is 01:22:24 What's scarier than being trapped on a planet by yourself? That's frightening, dude. And you got to make your own food. The movie is a little too like wiki clever sometimes, and there's one too many montages set to pop songs. But overall, it's like a really like just engrossing movie where of a very old-fashioned science fiction type where there's a problem, people need to find a solution for it and they just work through
Starting point is 01:22:49 solutions until they can try to solve the problem. And I found it really refreshing because one, there's no villain in the movie. Everyone's on the same page and they all want the same thing, but like they have different ideas of how to get it. But I was waiting for like the evil person who wants to leave Matt Damon up there because it's good publicity for NASA or something and that never happens. So it was like a movie,
Starting point is 01:23:11 like a play by Paul Reiser. Yeah, well basically Paul Reiser and Aliens, yeah. And it's like a movie about teamwork and problem solving that was just like kind of an upbeat movie about a semi-realistic problem. And it felt, this is something I was tweeting about so you've read my Twitter feed, you'd seen this, but it felt like, so I don't know. But it felt like seeing a movie where,
Starting point is 01:23:37 if America was like a functioning socialist or communist country, this is the type of movie we would make in a good way where it's like America is exploring for science. Uh-oh, a problem. Time for everyone to work together as a team to solve it and that shouldn't work dramatically as well as it does, but it does work dramatically. Yeah. The characters are a little thin and Matt Damon never seems to be all that bothered by the fact that he's trapped on Mars, but otherwise it was really good. For great recommendations, we did it. I'm gonna go off script here a little bit and Dan can edit this out of your once.
Starting point is 01:24:12 But I would like to propose a, I would like to propose another ill-defined flamp house contest, because I need some help from you listeners out there in, I don't know, the rest of the world. See, I'm opening up a little bar, Hinterland's bar. You can find us on Facebook. We're going to be on Church Avenue in Brooklyn. And one of the things that I would like to do is have a personalized,
Starting point is 01:24:36 a kind of artistic choking victim poster, because every bar restaurant has to have a choking victim poster, but you can add a little bit of your own, have your own flavor to it. So what I would like to do is I'm going to propose a day, and you guys can veto this on air if you want. But I would suggest that we do a contest where you, Flotfokes, can put together your best version of a choking victim poster, you artsy types, and all the rules for what you would need to have to include on that poster will be on the Flophouse
Starting point is 01:25:10 website when this episode airs. And I think what, about two weeks, two weeks from when this airs, I'd like to have it have all the entries in, and then we'll do a short voting. The specifics will all be on the website. And the winner will be of course used and will maybe get to pick a movie for us to watch. Dan? Sure. Sure. You'll get to pick a movie that isn't nothing but trouble. Nothing but trouble is banned from these contests.
Starting point is 01:25:42 Yeah. Until maybe our final episode of all time time when you see nothing but trouble pop up in your podcast that we're done. Yeah, we have crossed over into. Hell. And everybody else who enters but doesn't win will certainly get a free drink if they come by my bar and. Some other kind of ill-defined thing that will be on the website. Really putting a lot of work into your day out. No, I'll take care of that part. So, contest.
Starting point is 01:26:14 I wasn't paying attention to that, so you were just looking at the back of that cheeky DVD. Why are you looking at the back when the front has just a ladies butt on it? Here's what I like about the DVD case is it's called Shiki. It's Naps. The cover opens easily. I give it an A plus. I have an A plus. I have an A plus.
Starting point is 01:26:35 Plus Naps closed with a slight push. Good one entertainment weekly over here. Since on the shelf comfortably, it's the same shape and sizes of other DVDs. So they all look up a piece together. And I like that about it. Now, someone say that the covering over the insert with the name of the title is too shiny, but I think it's just shiny enough. The insert. The insert. The insert. That's amazing for organizing. The summary insert with the cover is cut wells that none of it peaks out of the plastic sleeve.
Starting point is 01:27:08 So that looks very professional on the shelf as well. But it's called cheeky. It's a woman lifting up her skirt on the front on the back. It keeps talking about what essential feast it is. And then the bottom for mature audiences. Thanks. Thanks, buddy. Oh, it's not a kids film. This this tribute to women's hinders is not for the not for the whole family to enjoy.
Starting point is 01:27:32 So I recommend the DVD case for cheeky to anyone who wants to store DVDs or put something on their shelf. Movie, I don't care for I find it lured. Yeah, well, thanks. Thanks for this super sized episode of the flop. Yeah, we got one more shock topper. Look out for that. But until then, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm still steward willing to even after all this time, Elliot Kaylen remains. Good night, everyone. Um. We'll bring extra mustard to the sandwich. We did to that intro. Oh, it is.
Starting point is 01:28:20 Fucking on fire. Like a sandwich on fire. There. I knew I could get Dan with some stupid bullshit. We call it the flaming Rubin. We did a regular Rubin and we light it on fire. I got him Rubin. He is not heavy about this. Rubin's soldered.
Starting point is 01:28:37 Rubin's soldered. A lot to burn there. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artists owned. Listener supported. Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture, Artistone Listener Supported Welcome to the Lady to Lady Show Behind Door Number 1 we have
Starting point is 01:28:52 Fantastic Heaped Yes like Aisha Tyler, French Stewart, Shredda and more. Behind Door Number 2 we have Road Trip and Sleep Overgames like Would You Rather and Never Have I Ever and Kind of Games Or Remind You of being a kid? Door number three brings you fresh hot episodes every Wednesday. You can find them on iTunes at www.nextwompun.org. Now pick a door! Just kidding! They're not real! Cause we're a podcast! You're all winners! And we didn't really think this through. Maybe the ladies.
Starting point is 01:29:24 you

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