The Flop House - Ep. #192 - Chappie

Episode Date: November 28, 2015

Remember when Chappie fever swept the country, with all those pet Chappies, and tickle-me-Chappies? Meanwhile, Elliott describes a literary-technique-based dystopian future, Stuart continues to explai...n the Internet, and Dan just checks out for a while. Like, he totally doesn't talk for seven minutes or something. Sorry, it was a long week. Movies recommended in this episode: Dead or AliveDrunk, Stoned, Brilliant, DeadWifePremonition Following an Evil Deed

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 On this episode we discuss... Chappy! Charles Chapeelin, the silent comedian. Robots! Hahaha! Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kalin of the Flop House. Is hosted by us.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Stuart. Elliott. And Dan. In. The three Flopsca tiers. The Flop House. That's a colon. Did you get it checked out?
Starting point is 00:00:58 Yeah. You should get those checked right yearly by your dog. Yeah, the older I get, the more I check out my colon, my son's colon. No, I just imagine you with the hand mirror checking your own colon. Yeah, I'm like, hey, looking good. Look, can't good. I haven't shaved in a while, I guess.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Okay. Well, too far. His face. Oh, so this isn't a colonoscopy podcast. This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie, then we talk about it. Thanks for keeping us on track. I appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:01:30 And Dan, as if we didn't announce it earlier, what movie did we watch this week? We watched a movie called Shepi. Shepi. Shep? E. Well, yeah, it's the sequel to Wally. It's Wally's friend.
Starting point is 00:01:45 It is aboutally's friend. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It is about a robot though, or as old person would say, robot. A droid. An android. Uh-huh. A synthetic humanoid. Uh-huh. A people machine.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Yup, a replica. A manicizer. A clicker. Yeah. A botscope. A botscope? Yup. That's the column. An electro man. A metal dude. Metal dude solid. That's the lazy version of Metal Gear Solid Re just kind of hangs out. Solid snake. Your mission. Finish these Doritos. All right. So this is some kind of
Starting point is 00:02:29 can man. Yeah. That's what we're talking about. Hey, it's a man man, can's name Chapo. Yeah. Okay, so why do we watch this movie guys? It was a huge success. It was not that it was not a huge success. It was It's made by a Neil Blomkomp. Who everybody likes District 9. Everybody does. I didn't see. Trying to get on the street and ask him about District 9. They're like, shit, yeah, I do.
Starting point is 00:02:54 I'm a kid. Get the fuck off, dude. What are you asking me about District 9 for? I'm like nine years old. District 9 rules homework jewels These skateboards up Get out of my way before I use the slingshot in my back pocket and we that go grts like I'm beyond my way, dude Throws a dinosaur shake chicken. I'll get at you. I don't have time for regular yogurt
Starting point is 00:03:23 My yogurt has to be on the go. And today is busy work a day, children's world. You don't have time to sit and eat yogurt. Put it in a tube and then suck it down while you're riding your tric. Squeeze in your face. Yep. Sometimes life can be a real brat race. Is the kid and he's a bratty, bratty kid.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Oh, I get it. Yeah. Not a brat race. It's the kid and he's a bratty, bratty kid. Oh, I get it. Yeah. Not a brot race. Oh, yeah, I thought you meant like at the, at the stadium when those big hot dogs each other, you had the old stadium. Yeah, there's nothing medieval about it. So chappy, yeah, Neil Blomkamp, people like District 9, I didn't say CLCM I know Stewart is not a fan. I thought it was okay. It uh, It has his moments. It has its moments. All the action scenes are shot really like awkwardly.
Starting point is 00:04:14 It's like a mix of slow mo and over-stylized stuff. It has the worst Jody Foster performance. If you're wondering, Which is Jody Foster's, if you're ranking them. Yeah. Worst than Nell? Worst than Nell. if you're wondering, if you're ranking them, yeah. Worst than nail? Worst than nail. I would say worst than nail.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Worst than freaky Friday, or was it wacky Wednesday? Which of those days did she switch? Freaky Tuesday. It was Manic Monday. It was Thursday Thursday. Well, that's, apparently you're Cinemography, Cinemography. Yeah, her cinematography Thursday Thursday is where she switches with Haley Haley Mills
Starting point is 00:05:00 So she can drink It turns out her mom was just like, I'll go home, sure. And then there was surprisingly sane Saturday. And of course, sacred Sunday, where they switch minds, but it doesn't matter because they're in church all day. Okay, so they're all trapped there? Yeah, yeah, it's just like the end of the exterminating angel,
Starting point is 00:05:20 spoiler alert, that you don't get out of the church. Okay. So, but this is his has did he make just three movies or is he made other movies he's making the new alien movie too. Yeah so district nine kind of came out of nowhere it was like a I think it was initially pitched as like a like a halo test movie or something like that and everybody kind of went nuts for it because it was like a like a harsh and gritty take on sci-fi.
Starting point is 00:05:46 I don't know if I say hard sci-fi. I would not say hard. No, no, no. But except that you could say it's hard sci-fi and that is taking a believable situation that the alien refugees land on earth and spinning out the consequences of that. It's not some kind of super crazy science that could never exist. You're saying that if I had an electro gun, I couldn't just make people explode like shine, watermelon bags. Now that is less hard sci-fi. But I think what got people, that was also the extreme sense of place, like South Africa,
Starting point is 00:06:18 was not a place people had thought of as a setting for science fiction. And it played off of South Africa's own racial divide and bad race history. But also that movie had an interesting sense of tone in that. It was kind of this documentary style where, but it was a goofy comedy to some degree. It was a mix of comedy and things. I don't know if I call it goofy, a bunch of people dying. Yeah, but like, Shulta Coppoli's character like turning slowly, like he's like this like, prig-ish character turning slowly into an alien, and there was a lot of zany sort of comedy that went on. And kind of turning into a hero, like a character who is very unlikable to begin with.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Yeah. And this movie also has, I would say, a strange mix of tones. A very strange mix of tones. That's a successful version. Sure. And I'm not just talking about the music. Oh! Because it's made up of tones.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Which is, yeah. As all music is. You see the series of tones. They're, they're, they're, I think, like, Tony, Tony, Tony. Here he decided he said, let me go back to my South African roots. I'm going to make another science fiction movie about a problem in South Africa, which I guess is crime in the police presence. But I'm going to do it in a, I'm gonna talk about the robot. Robert robots.
Starting point is 00:07:34 But running in the ribbons. Round the rabbit. Rogue robots ran round the rocks. The rugged robot rides. Radical. Radar for alliteration, which is against the law in the future. The year is 2047 and all alliteration
Starting point is 00:07:58 has been deemed a thought crime. But the three say is are no longer thirsty. But the good grouping of grammar gang has the case an underground rebel pirate group dedicated to words that start with the same letter placed next to each other. Can they survive? No, must they survive? Yes. Starring a Mandy Moore. As Mandy Patanquin. I like how this is the least dystopian feature of the wall. So you can't put words that sound sort of like each other.
Starting point is 00:08:42 Next we tell you. The battle should a potential sound. He mean, it really is a battle-shame, potential sound, because you can. It really dooms any fantastic for reboots. That's true. I mean, it already dooms. But the... Doctor doomed. Now you're talking.
Starting point is 00:08:55 That's another alliteration for you. Yeah, we're all gonna be arrested by the grammar police. So this is, it's another South African set movie. And yet here it's decided that it's going to be much harsher in some ways and also attempting to be sweeter and others. And much of the character work is going to be on the shoulders of South African kind of like trash, zeph rap group, the outdoor to whatever hoverage pronounced. And zeph, that was only know this because I was looking it up in between watching the movie and reading and recording this. Zeph is a cultural movement in South Africa, which
Starting point is 00:09:39 is an attempt to kind of make a style out of things associated with the white, lower middle class. People, the word Zeph comes apparently from a breed, it's a short name of a model of car that was very popular among whites South Africans who didn't have a lot of money who were better off than black South Africans at the time because apartheid was still in effect during this time
Starting point is 00:10:01 which is like the 70s and 80s. But this is kind of a way to reclaim, I guess, that feeling of being lower class, but being a, I mean, I don't know, all the day. You're not an expert on Zeph's shit. I am not. When you say Zeph to me, I say, that sounds like somebody's alien sidekick
Starting point is 00:10:23 in a cartoon from the 80s in which they take characters from a popular sitcom and put them in space. So like family ties, the space cartoon, like Michael J. Fox's sidekick would be like Zeph the talking like party alien who eats pizza all the time. Space pizza with moon dust and I don't know Salami on Really game up on the space theme. I don't know. It's like Astro Salami or something from a meteor What you want from me. I don't know. It's made out of like it's made out of like Venetian pork I don't know. I don't know a bunch of tribbles
Starting point is 00:11:03 Trivel sausage probably tastes pretty good. Yeah. It went to get all the hair off. Mm-hmm. When you shave a tribble, what's underneath? That's the question. I'm sure somebody can write, somebody can write Neem me at the time.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Is it like, is it like just this pink bag of flesh and goo or? You do not, don't even. I imagine if you shave a tribble is just a big testicle, essentially. Yeah, that was, it was originally called the treble with testicles. It was, it was about how they multiplied and more about how you just don't want them to get kicked. It was a short episode. A brief Rochambo cray is that hit of price. And all the guys were walking around, covering their junk all the time, because they're worried about it.
Starting point is 00:11:48 And Spock was like, it is a logical to hit another man in the testicles. And then he got really into it because like, oh, you have blue, what did you green blood if all you don't understand? And it's hilarious. It's a way that we all, as men, we bond. Of course. We hurt each other. Then Spock entered ball far, which is the once every seven years period when a Vulcan
Starting point is 00:12:12 wants to hit other guys in the nuts. It is very volatile. Yeah. So that's maybe a bad. I feel bad. I can't remember what kind of blood a Vulcan has guys. I feel bad. You can look it up kind of blood a Vulcan has guys. So bad. You can look it up. Just pause the podcast.
Starting point is 00:12:27 All right. Look it up on track. Appedient. So explain, explain the internet to me. Okay. So you just pause the podcast. You're still not doing that. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Okay. Well, I'll just keep going. So you pull up your help menu. And you type in, find me, find me Vulcan blood. And then what do you do? And then you go down the color spectrum and they provide you. And you pick the one that you think looks most like the color you remember as the color of Vulcan blood. It's really simple. And then what do you do? If you're asking the question, Why do you have to guess? Why do you provide the answer?
Starting point is 00:13:07 It's going to provide a somewhat limited spectrum. Like come on, it's not like it's a... It's not a sporadic internet. It's like what color do you think bulk blood is? So, should we talk about this movie? So, let's... So, I think there's an elephant in the room. I see.
Starting point is 00:13:23 I get it out of here. Wow, it's really taken a big toll. And the elephant's name is Short Circuit and Robocop. Now, yeah, if ever there was a movie that is a smashing together of Short Circuit and Robocop with a heavy helping of South African rap, this is that movie. So it begins and we're like, how is this not the remake to Robocop didn't we already watch that? Yeah, because so South Africa is facing a huge crime wave The answer to it robot policemen, but these robot policemen don't have their minds of their own the operate off of
Starting point is 00:13:58 human Operators who wear neural helmets, okay? Yeah, was never, and there's also like a guardian chip that controls them. I was never totally sure of what the control system was for these robots. Partly because they moved through it pretty fast at the beginning, partly because everyone has South African accents. And those are not always easy to understand,
Starting point is 00:14:18 which is why it's weird that the one character in the movie that I felt had a pretty straightforward accent is subtitled and he's this evil crime boss who looks like Zangie, but we'll get to that. Kind of. He's no... I think you're doing Zangie with disservice. Well, he looks like someone who wants to be Zangie pretty badly. He looks like a professional wrestler character.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Yes, yeah. So they've made these robots called scouts that look like they have bunny ears and they walk around. They look like the robot from Apple Seed. Yeah, they've got a very... It's like a bunny. I mean, I think that's his name means bunny in Ancient Greek or rarios or something. You remember way more about Apple Seed than I do.
Starting point is 00:14:59 I remember, I get it so mixed up with all the other robot anime manga stories. It's hard for me to separate that from ghost in the shell. Or... Go on. Let's do the minion tank police. Armatage, that kind of stuff. Macross. Macross.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Come on, Danny, you can go take dirty hair. Dirty hair. That's not a robot. Go gold 13. No, that's not one either. Cowboy bebop, you know. Go city, et cetera. Ro-ro-ro-ro-be-tron.
Starting point is 00:15:33 At least say like. Cozuro, Tommy. At least say like robot carnival. Zoom, zoom guy. Wow, Dan's tried so hard. But this is telling me as Dan did not see any of the three enemies that everyone who was like 13 in the 1990s saw were Akira, vampire 100D, and robot carnival.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Because they really go to the shell. Not go to the shell. Not Ninja Scroll. This is pre-ghost in the shell, pre-Ninja Scroll. There was a time when you either saw Akira because you heard about it and said it awesome more You were watching TBS late at night and they would show vampire 100 D and robot carnival all the time I don't think I ever saw robot carnival. What's the selling point? It's a series of short cartoons about robots
Starting point is 00:16:17 Oh, it's not carnival run by robots. I wish it's like big town to town It's like big-top Peewee top. It's like big top P we but the robots it's called big butt. Yeah, there's the robots nobody trusts. There's the bearded robot, the fat robot, the strong man robot, robot to get shot out of a cannon. Michael Bayes right in all these ideas. I guess I'm thinking more of a circus side show than a carnival. Yeah, I mean a carnival robot's mostly just like tumblers.
Starting point is 00:16:42 Hey, shoot your robot oil into these Are you describing a robot condom? Let's talk about the movie. Let's not go any further into this horrifying This horrifying titsuo body hammer world that we just entered erotic I'm gonna go with horrifying. There's a very thin line between horrifying and erotic, but I don't want to cross it. So they have these robots. They're a creator, Dev Patel. Okay. Was it Dev Patel? Yep. Yeah. Who works for Sigorni Weaver? He meets newsroom. He plays NW Uzur. He plays Nathaniel Edward Wilson, Stephen Room, the third.
Starting point is 00:17:28 So he works for Sigourney Weaver for a robot company. And at the same time, she... And for a robot company, they have a really shitty office. It's like the most pedestrian office building. It's very open space in that the only Sigourney Weaver has her own office, but that's what tech companies do. It's all about the moments you can't predict where interactions lead to ideas. Welcome to Kalencore. Oh wow
Starting point is 00:17:54 This is what you've been doing in your free time lately. I've been putting the Kalencore a 22nd century technology company Okay, we don't have offices. We don't even have workers. There's just me. Give me money. Together, I'm putting together the technology of the future. And because it's the technology of the future, don't expect it anytime soon. But still, money please. Male it to Elliott Kaelin, Care of Kaelicore. One, two, three, Fake Street, New York, New York, Anytime USA. one two three fake street New York New York any town USA calm Dial nine now Hugh Jackman on the other hand as a competing program called moose which is one big
Starting point is 00:18:36 Robo mech type Yeah, it's like a like a battle tank. It's like a big 802.09 battle tech thing. I'm a Bob That has as we find out later a big gun and then also a big cutting arm for chopping people in that but he's mad because the scout program is taking away the need for his moose program which to be fair is ill thought out he's trying to sell it to the South African police the Johannesburg police were very happy with the scout program because it's led to this huge drop in crime by explaining how it can shoot enemy aircraft out of the sky, which seems like not a problem that the police need to deal with.
Starting point is 00:19:11 And the policeman very reasonably points this out. It does not make you Jackman half eat. Now, Hugh Jackman's character is one of the more interesting ones and that he's this collection of character traits that include always walking around to the gun on his hip, even in office. He's got a hockey haircut. He has an extreme hockey haircut
Starting point is 00:19:25 and he is also surprisingly religious and crosses himself at least once in the movie. And he wears some great shorts. He, I think, I think he basically, like went to a couple rugby bars and based his character around people he saw in those bars. I imagine.
Starting point is 00:19:41 I imagine. Yeah, imagine the worst length of short. You know, like, the length that you would not want on a short, and that's what he has. So wait, you mean they're really short? Oh, they're too long. I'm not sure if they have. Yeah, they like adult shorts. They like, they like hit, are they like Kevin Smith's short pants?
Starting point is 00:20:01 They like, should he be wearing old-style knickers instead of socks? I'm just saying they hit exactly at the knee. They're not like above the knee. Sounds like the perfect length for shorts. I don't know. Exactly at the knee. It gives you 50% of the pant that you were hoping for. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Now never in this. By the way, I just think, you know. We barely talked about the movie. Can we stop talking about the movie for a second? We'll talk about short anymore. Explain we stop talking about the movie for a second? Let's talk about short story some more. Explain a hockey haircut. It bears a little. Okay, explain.
Starting point is 00:20:30 How is it different than a mullet? Explain. It's like a mullet, only it's more slick down to the head. Yeah, it looks like the sort of thing that would perfectly fit a, like if you were to put on a hockey helmet and then just cut all the extraneous hair and let everything else grow exactly to fit that helmet That's a hockey here and it also his hair looks Not so much like he's gotten like blonde highlights as like someone maybe just peed on his hair
Starting point is 00:20:57 So that's that's that's that's his hair. It's an acting choice He's an acting choice. This character is a golden shower fetishes. Never comes up in the film, but they tell you, your character always have a secret that you bring to set and nobody knows you. And his is the golden shower thing. Anyway, Dev Patel has a new idea for a project. It's a totally fully functioning AI
Starting point is 00:21:21 that does not need a human interface to work. He's very close to it. He's working on it in his spare time at night with his Butler robot who seems pretty AI-ish. But yeah, I mean, it's basically like a crappy robot glued onto a Roomba. Yeah, and it operates like Polly's Butler robot. And I think we get like, like,
Starting point is 00:21:39 a run for it. We get one laugh out of it. What would that mean? He breaks a bunch of shit and it goes to like sweep up. It goes mess mess and then goes to sweep up. But he's working all night. He has one of those computer programs, people and movies have and maybe they do in real life where you're building a program that's never existed before, but you have another program that tells you when it works at a hundred percent completion.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Mm-hmm. So we go somehow, maybe you can do that in computers that you can test a thing that has never existed before. But he brings this to Gourney Weaver and he says, this is a robot that could critique art, that can write poetry. And I see here that he is attempting to use the power of private industry to address a very big need in this world, which is the dress shortage of art critics. There is such a call for more art critics that we need to start building them with machinery. Yeah, there are all those people out there unwilling to do the creative jobs. Well, without somebody to interpret the craziness of the art that we see in this movie, that's the whole that he thinks needs to be filled.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Because people see these crazy, I don't know, like, nuclear silos with graffiti all over the group. Oh, the place with the plain. The label has no idea what they're looking at. They're like, this is some kind of kaleidoscopes of colors that terrifies me what's going on. There are, well, let's get to those characters. There is, so these three people, two of whom are part
Starting point is 00:22:59 of this rap group, and it's two guys and a girl. No pizza place, though. Instead, like you're saying, they live in some kind of abandoned nuclear silo with all this graffiti in the back that reminds me of like the backgrounds of Jeff Darrow panels and like hard boiled or like a kind of or like in big guy and rest of the way row up where they'll just be like a bunch of signs and things in the background. And I'm not like the four year old try to recreate that. Yeah, okay. There's a certain naïveness to the artwork quite sure. Like the four year old try to recreate that. Yeah, okay. There's a certain naïveness to the artwork.
Starting point is 00:23:26 It's like a four year old said, what would happen if Keith Haring illustrated all of Jeff D'Aros work? I think I'm gonna throw it out a while. I think two of the characters, the raptors, sleep on a bed that like is propped up. The lots of raptors. They sleep on a bed that's propped up with like multi-colored building blocks for legs. It's very, it's like it's a very quirky criminal hideout because these are quirky folks. Yeah, there's graffiti everywhere. They've got slogans like.
Starting point is 00:23:57 It's a sort of, you know, fucked the world and stuff all over the place. It's quite, and crazy enough that like if the Joker from the 1989 Batman movie, it was 1989 Batman movie walked in with his gang, they'd be like, this is a little too loud for us. I'll dial it down everybody. You're calling too much attention to yourselves. And we literally walked into an art museum and just started painting all over the places. Unfortunately. If only we had a robot to tell us what to do.
Starting point is 00:24:22 To tell us if we did a good job or not. But there's this group of criminals who are the gang who couldn't shoot straight and they screw up a drug delivery somehow. They see it, they're like in a car chase and they just all the drugs fall over in their van and so they're ruined. I couldn't, I wasn't quite sure what was happening there. And they piss off this zangief looking boss, who is subtitled all the time, even though he's speaking English. And they he says, you have seven days to get
Starting point is 00:24:52 me 20 million, whatever the currency in South Africa is. Let's just call it Afro bucks. 20 million of those. And or I'm going to kill you. And they're like, ah, what are we going to do? They decide they're going to have a big heist. But in order to have the heist. This is all happening with a lot of shouting and then all of a sudden robots show up. So it's kind of hard for me to follow what was going on. Oh, that's right. The meeting is interrupt.
Starting point is 00:25:15 They were followed by robot police. There's a big fight. The robot police don't really seem to be that effective. Yeah, they don't arrest any of the principal people. No, they just managed to get beat up a lot. And one of them, number 22, gets blown all to shit. And it turns out the number 22 has had a series of problems, so they're going to crush him up into little robot cubes. Maybe recycle them, turn them into a bunch of cans. Well, he's just an object, so that's okay.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Exactly. He doesn't have a soul until Dev Patel kidnaps this robot, takes him home and puts his eye. He's about to do that, but then he gets kidnapped. He gets kidnapped. He actually gets kidnapped like 45 feet outside of the factory. Yeah, exactly. Here's one of the problems with this movie. This is the factory where all of the police robots are being built and they have this elaborate
Starting point is 00:26:03 control system that makes only the company can put software into the robots, and that has to be protected. And it is a sense that though it's a startup, it's incredibly successful up until this point. Oh yeah. Well, I mean, I think the company is not a startup, but the scale program is true. It's, I think it's already an established munitions manufacturer. But anyway, they have this big facility. They're making robots.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Robux? Robux? They're making robots hand over fist. That's money that robots use to pay other robots for things. It's like Xbox bucks and whatnot. Yeah, exactly. The $1 robot as a picture of their first president, George Washington. Then of course there's the five dollar which has Abraham, Link Tron. We should just be stealing Futurama jokes at this point. Yeah, you're probably right. He decides he's gonna, so here's the problem, it's this big facility, they're making police robots, there's almost no security in this place.
Starting point is 00:26:59 There's not even security. There's not even that many employees. To the point where later in the movie, Hugh Jackman is authorized to use his giant E.D. 209 mech to blow up a bunch of people. And he's just in a room by himself sitting in his control chair. And with the lights off, it's like he's stuck away.
Starting point is 00:27:16 But the part of it, and like one of the things about District 9 that was interesting is it felt like this was happening in a real world, a lived in world, and there was, it was populated by people, and this movie has so few actual people in it. Yeah, it also, it's one of those movies that starts off with a fake news report that explains everything that's going on,
Starting point is 00:27:37 which I guess District 9 kind of did a little bit. It exactly does. But it starts with, was it starting with like a news movie or like a documentary type of thing. It feels like it's it's a documentary in and then they give up and then they give up on that conceit pretty quickly. Kind of. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:54 This it's like and they literally Anderson Cooper talking about these robots and the the rapper characters call each other by their real names and they're always wearing shirts with their names and their bands logo on it and Anderson. to wait a minute. Are they rappers in this world or are they gangster? That's what I'm getting at. This movie takes place. The rappers. Impossible. That doesn't exist though. A new hybrid. Rappers. That's right. I grafted the leg of a gangster or rapper. And now he wants to keep, he wants to keep all of his samples inside, inside of a violin case when he carries it around. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:28:31 But they, it takes place in the future, because Andrew Super says in 2016, they introduced this program. So are we, is this a world where their rap careers fell apart and they became crazy? Oh, that makes sense. Or is that just the next logical step evolution from South African rapper is? Criminal.
Starting point is 00:28:48 I don't know. All I'm saying is there's part of me that kind of likes that they call each other by their real names. There's something. And they wear t-shirts that I guess you can go and buy, probably. There's something it's like when a little bit
Starting point is 00:29:01 kind of like, there's like, there are. It's literally like the wizard where you could go out and buy the power glove after they showed it off in that movie, the wizard. It's like the wizard if Mario was a character in the movie. Okay. We're like, and was a real person in real life. Like it's,
Starting point is 00:29:18 wait a minute, he's not a person in real life. It's what they're doing is along. So, I hate to break it to you. There's no Mario clause. So what would he, like he would like show up and like be a Plumber? One of the hotels they stayed at. But then he'd have to jump, but then like a big piranha plant would come out of the pipes
Starting point is 00:29:32 and be like, what did you kids eat? End of cameo, then he'd just walk away. And then he'd go back to the camera go, you got any trouble? Call my brother Luigi. It's a me Mario and then he'd walk away. It's like, it's kind of a little bit like Neopatric Harris's appearance in the Harold and Kumar movies
Starting point is 00:29:54 Where he's playing like a crazy version of himself. Mm-hmm. Like this is them playing a crazy version of themselves But they already seem pretty crazy, but anyway, that's I don't have any context to put it in this could be that like the normal version of Themselves, I mean having seen some of their music videos. They're pretty weird and crazy. Like, the music videos usually tell you an accurate portrayal of what the artist is like. Uh, that's the promise an artist makes when they put themselves on camera is that this is an accurate rendition. I mean, I can only assume that Motley Crew like in the Girls Girls video are constantly
Starting point is 00:30:19 going to strip clubs and just taking ladies home. And Peter Gabriel is a stop motion animation. It's weird. It's Gabriel is a stop motion animation. It's weird. It's weird. It is so weird that that is exactly what I was going to go to. Because it's the... Peter Gabriel, why were we both going to go to that?
Starting point is 00:30:33 I mean, if I think when I think music videos, it's kind of sad that Sledgehammer is probably the first video I think. Yeah, that one, Red Hot Chili of Pepper is probably live under a bridge somewhere. I'm thinking of this. But Nicki Minaj lives in the forest with forest with her other big-budded associates. Sure. I was trying to think about the Tom Petty. And Michael Jackson has cat size.
Starting point is 00:30:51 I was thinking about the Tom Petty don't come around here no more video. Where he's the madhatter? Yeah. And I was like, oh yeah, and Tom Petty's made the cake and then I was like, no, that's Alice and then. Yeah, good catch, good catch. And all the members. And it totally rains and fucks up Axel Rose wedding day.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Yeah. The members of Genesis are spitting image puppets. Mm-hmm. I mean, like the rain doesn't seem to fuck up, I guess the roller is just wedding day so much as someone else's. The death of the one. Well, there's that. But I thought she died from the rain.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Did she get trampled? She much like jumps into the cake. Yeah, that one dude is like, I've been waiting to do this all day. It's raining a better jump into the cake Where's the Right went back in time Making the video for November right? That's right. He went back in time. It's time travel. He's stuck in time. He's trying to warn us about November rain.
Starting point is 00:31:48 He's trying to warn us that there's gonna be an eight minute music video in the future. Was that your problem with it? The length? That's right. What the fuck, dude? There's two guitar solos in it. I remember when that was on MTV. It was like, okay,
Starting point is 00:32:04 we're gonna play Jeremy and then we're gonna play November rain I remember when that was on MTV, it was like, okay, we're gonna play Jeremy, and then we're gonna play November Rain, and then so much time has passed, and we're gonna play Jeremy. I remember Jeremy as being a later song in November Rain. No, it was those two and under the bridge.
Starting point is 00:32:15 And for a while, it was what, one by you two? Yeah, well, that was a little earlier. I don't remember that video at all. Well, there were multiple versions of it. There's no one with a buffalow. Not just one. Ironique movie, please. Anyway, so,
Starting point is 00:32:31 he's, Dempatell is gonna try to bring this robot home. He fails to do it because he gets kidnapped because they have a robot in the family. But in terrible movie, that is. Our listeners might not be familiar with the movie robot in the family, it's starring Joe Panteliano and what's his name from, you know, Gimli.
Starting point is 00:32:50 John Reese, John Reese Davis. John Reese Davis. And it's a feature thing was I was trying to say John of the Reese Myers, the joke and I fucked it up. I was about to say that I knew it was wrong. So because he's TV's Dracula. Max Point. He's TV's Dracula. Max Point. He's TV's Max Point.
Starting point is 00:33:09 That is a movie that if you ever see it, it is the most irritating robot in film history. Max Point? No, yes. That movie could have used a robot, though. Yeah, for sure. Even more irritating than a robot and a rotor. The robot and rotor is a delight. I love the robot and rotor.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Not the main robot, the people, police robot. I mean, the robot, Janitor, they're like, what, where's the rotor program? And he's like, oh, gee, I don't know. I'm, uh, and I've said it before and I'll say it again, which is great about the robot and the movie rotor is. It feels like they had a part for like, for like a dopey janitor and a robot
Starting point is 00:33:44 showed up at the audition and won the part. It is the least robotic robot that you can imagine is, oh, I don't know, I'll look into it. He's such an incompetent robot, much like Chappy getting back to it. The gangsters decide if they have their own... We haven't even gotten to Chappy yet. Well, there's the thing about this movie. It takes a long time to set things up,
Starting point is 00:34:05 and then suddenly it'll just burst forward to the next plot point very quickly. So the gangsters want their own robot, because they feel like they can use it to pull off a big heist to pay off this gangster, and they kidnapped the scientists who made the robot, dead Patel, so they can make... I thought they were trying to like shut down
Starting point is 00:34:22 all the robots, so they could do their pice. It was, at first, they wanted make they can get out there trying to like shut down all the robots so they could do their Pist it was at first they wanted they theorized that there must be some remote control that turns off all the robots Since TV is have remote controls and their machines too once they see he has the robot though They're like make him work for us He inputs the AI into it and chappy as they name them. I don't remember why Has to learn how to be a living thing and learn speaking. And so he starts off skittish as a newborn doe and then slowly becomes part of their family
Starting point is 00:34:52 and that he literally calls the woman in the gang, mommy and calls the crazy shirtless asshole who's always causing trouble, daddy. And calls Dev Patel his creator. Maker. What's weird is why does he associate that guy as being his creator? Maker. What's weird is why does he associate that guy as being his daddy? Because even though those two people
Starting point is 00:35:10 are a couple in real life, IRL, they don't at any point show other than later on. They sure are bad at one, so I don't want to. Yeah, but at no point do they show affection. No. There's occasional remorse. You wanted to see hardcore fucking. I want to see some hardcore fucking. I want to see people with weird issues. Do we have to weird this people in the
Starting point is 00:35:32 world having sex? How do we know that there are a couple if we don't see penetration? Yep. Guest bar. No way. This was your big problem with Matt about you too. I just don't believe Paul Ryzer and Helena as a couple because I've never seen them Panic they can't be mad about each other because I haven't seen their faces. I'm in a coin penis inserted into a vagina I mean that's the definition of love right? Dan you need to see a psychiatrist, but maybe like seven psychiatrists each cra crazier than the last. What a movie man. I call it goofy psychiatrist island. Hahaha.
Starting point is 00:36:09 Also snow white in the seven psychiatrists. Now, they, so they take control, for some reason, the scientist puts a very little fight that they're just gonna own champion, take care of him. Yeah, at first they have a gun on him, and then after a little while they're like, okay, I guess you can go. You can just come and go as you please,
Starting point is 00:36:26 and it does lead to later on, he gets into a fight with the guy, and the scientist refers to him as a shitty person, which I liked as an insult, like that was fun. Yeah. Chappy is your basic innocent robot. He's like your ET short circuit. I mean, he's not a robot, be a get it,
Starting point is 00:36:42 that kind of character. He's a Johnny V all over the place, except that he picks up a South African accent and picks up kind of like gangster speak. And wants to be cool. He never wraps, unfortunately. Yeah. Because I would have loved.
Starting point is 00:36:57 There's a granny in the movie that wraps, I mean, come on. I don't think there is. He has a robot with hip-hop attitude. Oh, he's got a hip-hop. He Oh, he's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it.
Starting point is 00:37:09 He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it.
Starting point is 00:37:17 He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it's not doing a rap. It is not taking no crap. It's not in the Cheema
Starting point is 00:37:26 Terrain robot with Hobo. It's Hobo is a portman, so which includes part of the word robot. It engorberates Hobo and robot. Batman's villain, the penguin with his army of penguins. Again, not a good rhyme. Who's rapping about Batman? Like, every, like, seal, I don't know, every Batman. She's rapping. He's rapping though. Okay, he's not rapping. He's from Rosa Rap Song. I will say the other day, I, for some reason,
Starting point is 00:37:58 for some reason, I started singing Kiss from Rose to Sammy. And I was like, I remember a shitload of lyrics from this song that I haven't heard since I was a kid. But there was one summer at summer camp where for some reason that song was always playing. So. Has it super romantic? But why?
Starting point is 00:38:19 The weird thing was the songs I associate with summer camp are that regulators with by Nate Dogman, Jay, and sweating bullets for Megadeh. Like those are the three songs I remember hearing a lot at summer camp. But anyway, besides, we're getting off track. Shappy starts picking up all these mannerisms. They want to teach him how to help them on their highest,
Starting point is 00:38:39 but they kind of have to trick him into doing it by making him think it's the right thing because Chappy promised his creator he wouldn't be involved in any crimes. Meanwhile, what's a promise? He says, you're definitely not going to have a ring. I need you to promise something to me. And Chappy says, what is a promise? And Deft, you have to promise me that you never commit crimes.
Starting point is 00:39:02 And that means you can't, you know, and you can never break that promise. And Chappy's like, got it. Like that did not explain what a promise was. That feels compute. Like just use a cinnamon, call it a vowel. Use a cinnamon. Use a cinnamon. Because you're cinnamon to get it across.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah, if you don't have that, you know, some nutmeg. It's like Chappy flip. Or all the same. Put all the cinnamon in your mouth and try to hold on to it. Okay. Now I promise you, we won't have to do that again. Chappy probably would be pretty good at cinnamon challenge since he's a robot. But he has no mouth.
Starting point is 00:39:32 Yeah, he doesn't have a mouth. It would just gum up his gears. Now Hugh Jackman. He'll gum an up gears. Has been that kind of in the name of this movie. Hugh Jackman has been watching all this or trying to figure it out. He's mad that all the funding's been taken from his moose project. So what you're saying is that he sneaks up
Starting point is 00:39:47 and watches Chappy Payne a picture. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. He sneaks up and watches Chappy Payne a car. And you look like, he has this look on his face like, what the fuck? Look at you. A painting robot, what the fuck? He might as well have rubbed his eyes and gone. Eek dumb dad is liquor bottle. Never again.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Mm-hmm. And then, uh, so, but the daddy in the gang is ninja, is the name of both the character and the actor, is irritated with Chappy. So he says, I'm gonna toughen this Chappy guy up. He releases Chappy into the wild into a tough part of town. Chappy is immediately set upon by a gang of tuffs
Starting point is 00:40:24 and both beaten and set on fire. And Chappy is like the most innocent robot in the world, but everyone, when they see him, they think he's a police robot, so they start hitting him with crowbars and stuff. There's role-molatov cocktail atom. It's really sad and like, it's the one, the few times when this movie is successful
Starting point is 00:40:41 in making you care for the characters, is when Chappy is in such anguish that you would have to have no emotions to not be kind of disgusted by it. Yes. And Chappy is then set upon by Hugh Jackman. But did the movie earn that at least? Not at all.
Starting point is 00:40:56 No. It was never, there was never a moment like in, I'm trying to think of a movie where a character is really abused and you feel for them, but there's a sense of either catharsis or redemption or something in it, like breaking the waves. Maybe. Yeah, I mean, breaking the waves is an example where this character, terrible things happen
Starting point is 00:41:17 as character, but you feel like there's a sense of point and grace to it, even though I don't love that movie. But this, in this one, it's just like, but a fun robot movie, whatever. Okay, now this character is going to be crying on the ground while people throw fire at him. And now Hugh Jackman's going to pull him into a van and cut his arm off. Well, he winds and begs for mercy. Like, that's not fun. I don't like that. It's, it's one of those tone clashes that could work some, if they did it,
Starting point is 00:41:44 that they like calibrated it differently, but did not work. It seems a little sadistic from the filmmaker. Yes, in a way that is not, like he's saying, is not earned. As opposed to like at the end of Wally, Wally gets the crap beaten at him. Like he essentially dies. And it's like, oh no, but I wasn't like like this is really making me uncomfortable and how much they're beating
Starting point is 00:42:07 on Wally like if you know what it is is I realize I'm like get that damn robot piece of shit things he can love beyond his class that's better than me stupid robot can you do this I'm just peeing all over the TV. No, no, no, my family's gonna learn about this someday. It felt like it was at that point that I realized the movie. It was like the movie had set me to expect a certain level of anguish, and then the movie just dropped that level down into something much more intense that I was not ready for.
Starting point is 00:42:49 And it was not exciting, or it was affecting in a bad way. But there's a couple moments like that. So anyway, like, and it's not helped with the fact that Chabby makes his way home, and they put Fix his arm almost instantly. But Hugh Jackman steals the control chip from Chappy. This doesn't seem to really do anything. And I'm not sure what it had to do with anything else. He needed it for the moose, maybe?
Starting point is 00:43:11 I don't know. It's that chip he used to deactivate all the other scouts. That's right, it's kind of like guard key. So this is when, so now the movie has jumped forward pretty quickly to Chappy is on the run. It takes a very long time of like, Chappy's gonna learn how to use weapons, he's gonna learn how to walk like a gangster.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Hugh Jackman's gonna do, I don't know what. And then suddenly Hugh Jackman goes like, all right, no, he's like, there has to be bigger crime. The police literally say to him earlier on, like that crime would have to be way worse. They'd have to get way worse for we to do that. For them to bring in the moose. And so he's like, I guess I'll make crime worse.
Starting point is 00:43:47 So use that, that's right. He uses that chip to shut down all the scout robots. A chip that Dev Patel, the maker, left in Chappie's head for apparently no reason other than, I mean, because he didn't need it to exist as a Chappie. We should mention also Chappie has a five day battery after five days his battery is gonna break and die, so he's gonna die.
Starting point is 00:44:09 The concept of changing his battery never really comes out. Yeah, but also even like, let's remove, that only makes sense as a premise for the movie. Yeah, like that only makes sense as like a ticking clock for the movie. Like why would you make makes sense as like a ticking clock for the movie. Like why would you make any robot? Or like take out his hard drive and put it into another robot.
Starting point is 00:44:31 Yeah. Well, and they said you can't because he has consciousness. Yeah, Dev Patel is like, yeah, we can't do that because consciousness, we don't know what that is. And like, well, maybe we don't know what that is in humans, but in a robot, we can just transfer all the fucking information. But then also, spoiler alert, both Dev Patel and Chappy get their minds switched to other robots. So Dev Patel is just wrong. But so Hugh Jackman turns off all the robots instant crime wave. Then we forget about that. Suddenly, Johannesburg is in chaos. We kind of forget about that because it's time to go back to Chappy, the gangster who wants his money shows up, Dev Patel shows up at the hideout of the rap group, and there's a good, it's a whole lot of stuff about to go down. And then
Starting point is 00:45:14 suddenly, Sigourney Weaver is told by Hugh Jackman, there's some Chappy on the loose. He was on TV, seeing how... So we're going to Chappy, yeah. Probably the enemy number Chappy is out I'm like, enemy number Chappy. Is that there? This is a code Chappy. I repeat, code Chappy, APC, that's all points Chappy. Chappy helped these, the gangsters with a heist. He was caught on TV, helping them steal money.
Starting point is 00:45:35 And he was just throwing ninja stars into, into cops legs. And this was in their moment where suddenly it was like, so Chappy is just like earlier, there was a scene where Chappy has been tricked into helping them steal cars and he's just scaring rich people and stealing their cars. But here he's literally throwing knives into people's bodies.
Starting point is 00:45:54 And both, like at least he's throwing knives with the under the assumption that he's putting people to sleep. Yeah, they told him this helps people sleep. But even the seat was like, which leads to, yeah, which leads to question, how dumb is this robot? He's hella stupid.
Starting point is 00:46:10 He has access to the earna at this point, right? He can just figure that out. No, he doesn't till later. Okay, but the sequence where he's like stealing cars from people, it's because it is so close to the sequence where he's like a little kid being beat up by people It makes me feel like this little kid is being tricked into hurting people But it's kind of played for laughs. It's supposed to be a funny scene
Starting point is 00:46:32 But yeah comes off as this this is more abuse of chappy. Yeah, he's being abused and it's not really funny. So it's Yeah, it's another scene that makes you uncomfortable. They like they did a good enough They did a good job of pushing our buttons in terms of like... That's what arts all about, Elliot. And robots. Oh, wait, what? Push their buttons. Okay, and arts also about pushing buttons, Dan. And arts about robots.
Starting point is 00:46:56 And by that, I mean, the artist who paints those sexy robots. Oh, so his name is Art. So what? Sorry, I'm not. Art robots. I think I think I have a different guy. The guy from the who did the pen house pictures where he'd be flipping through a pen house and all of a sudden have like a weird Japanese robot having sex. Oh, no, that's not the one I'm going to say.
Starting point is 00:47:17 He's saying he has a weird direction. Do you know what I'm like? What am I going to do with this? Mom, mom! No, no, you got destroyed. Hit it with a rolling pin. I'm like, Ben Kenobi? I'll help you with that, stewers.
Starting point is 00:47:33 Okay, why not? Let me get this droid in the oil bag. I'll help you as I helped your father. Ben Kenobi is just an old perv, a lives in the cave. That's why. That's why I can turn to the dark side. I mean, I don't know if that's the case. If anything, I mean, it's because he had the high ground, right? Yeah. So he cut his legs off.
Starting point is 00:47:58 I mean, I go evil. Some dude just chopped my legs off, Dan. I mean, he was kind of asking for it. They were in a lightsaber fight. I mean, I go evil some dude just chop my legs off, Dan. I mean, he was kind of asking for it. They were in a lightsaber fight. And there was lava all around. There's lava everywhere. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:13 And I don't mean lava soap. I mean, like hot lava. Huff, lava. Oh, lava. Yeah. Not cold lava, we can just walk up. So of course, you're going to try and flip over a guy. And then he cuts his legs off that shit's bonkers They just leaves him to fucking die there. Yes, you're all roasted. It's being everyone getting cut in half
Starting point is 00:48:31 That happens to chapies. So we were all really surprised Chappie chapies in trouble. So Gorni Weaver gives Hugh Jackman the go Permission to use the moose to track chapie down and destroy him. Because he's on TV making the company look bad, stealing money for rap gangsters. And so they all show up at one place, Dev Patel, the rap gangsters, because it's their house. Chappy ends the big Zangief gangster guy. And then the moose comes along and he's killing everybody. But mainly his first casualty comes from, there's a third member of the gang named America, who
Starting point is 00:49:07 he's shooting a gun at this huge mech. Of course it's going to do no good. The mech steps on his body and blood spurting out of his mouth. And then it uses its big crab pincer hand just to cut him in half and pull the top of his body off. And then throw it against the wall, which at this point we're all cracking up. We were like, that was the moment where it felt like the movie hit its pitch. That one moment where a character we've seen
Starting point is 00:49:29 through the whole movie has just been murdered, but it was like pretty funny and also pretty gruesome. If the movie had been at that level, I feel like it would have been, this would have been success. We were all like sort of surprised by it too though, because the movie up until that point did have that like slightly gritty or short circuit feel. Like it did like the movie up until that point did have that Like slightly grittier short circuit feel like
Starting point is 00:49:47 Hold on slightly grittier short you mean grittier than a grittier version of short circuit. Yeah, you don't mean it had the grit of short circuit Like that movie short circuit It was a great it really caught the mean streets of a big city like that like that classic film short circuit. That's my point. It was a marginally grittier version of short circuit. And then all of a sudden it got super violent. And like really violent explosions everywhere and there's a big fight scene. Yeah. Well, that's something that like that district nine did kind of well is when they when they had violence happen, it was like horrible and super shocking,
Starting point is 00:50:25 like a lightning bolt hitting dudes and then just exploding like bags of blood. Yeah. And even in District 9, I had an issue at the end where he goes into berserk her mode and starts just like killing people. But they're bad guys. They're bad guys,
Starting point is 00:50:39 but it's still anyway, we're not even good at it. But a bunch of people get killed. Short circuits, mommy gets shot and killed. Dev Patel gets shot and he's bleeding out. Ninja, who has established himself as a major league asshole, gets shot through the leg, but it's fine. And so like the least likable member of the group
Starting point is 00:51:00 is the one who continues and survives. Chappy fights the ED29 and blows it up. Hugh Jackman, I guess diplomatic immunity revoked or whatever. And Chappy beats the shit out of Hugh Jackman. Chappy and Dev Patel go back to the factory because Chappy is going to transfer Dev Patel's mind. And before all this, Chappy has figured out
Starting point is 00:51:22 how the internet works and how to transfer consciousness is using a neurohelmet and a pile of PlayStation 4s. So he's gonna transfer, he beats the shit out of Hugh Jackman and that calling him a bad man. Once again, in this factory where there's no security. There's no security. A robot just walks in with Dev Patel bleeding. Hugh Jackman sees them and is like, whoa, you guys stop and the robot just beats them up in front of a cube farm,
Starting point is 00:51:46 just mean cubicles. And just destroying the office, no security ever appears at any moment. Later, he takes Dev Patel to the place where the neurohomad is, and now the security shows up, but Chappie's already locked the door. He transfers Dev Patel's mind to a robot body, and then Dev Patel transfers Chappie's mind to all the robots in the network, I guess, and set turns.
Starting point is 00:52:09 No, it's just the nearest robot. No, I thought he sent it to all of them, multiple chapters. He was just searching the, yeah. He was just searching for which one was buzzing. And then we find out that the kindly mother figure had already uploaded her consciousness and the movie ends with Chappy using the the factory to build like an upgraded version of the robot. And it looks like that robot Bjork from that one Bjork video or like the spectra robot.
Starting point is 00:52:36 The spectra robot and it's got and it's like really creepy looking. But it's also like like why does this hold on? No one notices that like in this factory all of a sudden There's this other robot like they like why does the one like the night? I don't know nobody like this is anything in this factory Like pretty Yeah, we're the ugly female robots, you know like Rosie from the Jetsons Wait, you don't think she's pretty you know, like Rosie from the Jetsons. Wait, you don't think she's pretty?
Starting point is 00:53:04 Uh, not my type. She's, you know, she's a, you know, she's a lovely, lovely woman. She's sturdy, dude. She's made entirely of cylinders. You're a pretty and sturdy go hand in hand. Uh, the, uh, yeah, there's, there's, there's, nobody notices anything. Nobody knows.
Starting point is 00:53:22 No one knows. No one knows. Unless a character is needed for a scene, they might as well be Sims extras. Like they're just wandering around in the background, you know. Was this movie rushed to production? What's going on? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:53:39 I don't know what's going on. I don't know. Welcome to What's Going on. Our movie podcast. What's going on our Marvin Gaye podcast. What is going on brother tell me. Just us talking about like well, you know, I've been working a lot sort of sort of trying to get this bar open. A little chilly. It's that time of year when it's very specific. It's not yet cold in a full coat.
Starting point is 00:54:07 We're in a fleece. I've got running socks on because I ran out of full length socks. Oh man, laundry day, am I right? Tell me about it. Welcome to Laundry Day podcast. Laundry, O'CaliRissian. He's Billy Williams's character's chain of laundry. I was not the Agnott's probably get all the laundry.
Starting point is 00:54:29 The Agnott's, no one wants the Agnott's touching their clothes. The Agnott's are gross. I think we've discussed before they have aug in their name. Lobot, however, I want to make him fold all my clothes. Because he'll do it super fast. Like Bishop playing Mumblety Pagan aliens. Bishop the robot and not Bishop from X-Prep.
Starting point is 00:54:49 No, and not like Bishop from the Catholic Church. No, Bishop from my chessboard. No, he doesn't have any hands at all. You don't want him. You just kind of like a style of representation. Or side-to-side movement options. He can only fold diagonally. That doesn't help me with my pants.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Everything's got diagonal wrinkles now. This is, Bishop, this is not how you crease pants. I wanted a nice one. My legs look like a crinkle for eyes. My pants look like a napkin folded at a fancy restaurant. and I hate fancy restaurants bishop from my chessboard. That's why you only I only take you to Carl's Jr. Whoa, I should have had rook do this. He was losing straight lines. This is even worse than when I had nightfold
Starting point is 00:55:43 my stuff. Everything was L-shaped. I forgot to mention, guys, that Carl's juniors are sponsored. Uh-oh. I don't think even Carl's junior would admit they're not fancy. But they have beautiful baves, even greasy buries, and they're commercials. It's not like all this time, Carl's due. Carl has been under the impression that it's a fine dining establishment. Carl is like, how can we still have any Michelin stars?
Starting point is 00:56:06 Junior. Junior, what have you done with my restaurant, Shay? Please, Mr. Burger lives in Florida. Call me Carl, Junior. Now, it's so chappy. It's a whole mix of robot fighting and robot learning how to talk and being cute. And South African, Patchwawa and Weirdo's walking around.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Successful, you be the judge. It makes you feel, if it makes you feel any better, Elliot, there is that scene where they go to a dog fight and we get to see a dead dog lying on the ground. We do get to see Chappy poke the corpse of a dead dog and that's how we learn that things die. But even that is like, when the short circuit jumped on that grasshopper.
Starting point is 00:56:44 Well, one his named as Johnny five But yeah, exactly. It's like even that was just a gritty gritty version of that scene Yeah, his name's not family matters. It's Erkle dude The guys name isn't Jurassic Park. It's Dr. Ellen Grant You want to call him Dr. Elliot Grant I was pretending to be Sam Neal and Jurassic Park. Because that's what I wanted to do. Because that's what you had to do with that fedora. You're like, not Indiana Jones.
Starting point is 00:57:13 I'm like, I'm never going to be able to pull off Indiana Jones. The best I can do is a paleontologist. But it's wrapped up in an adventure by accident. So let's go to final judgments. Whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie kind of like movie the year. What do you say Stewart? Yeah, best movie I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:57:35 Yeah. Chappy is, I can't say crappy because that's bad. Is there a crappy? Happy. Something makes me happy. Yeah. No, um, therapy's not very good. Uh, I had kind of low expectations going in because of the reviews.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Uh-huh. And because Elysium was not very good. And it seems like Neil Blomkomp is one of those directors that is just going to keep giving us diminishing returns. Hopefully not. Maybe he'll rediscover himself. Um, hey. My man Neil Blomkomp, that's all I'm gonna say. This, this movie is super weird.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Like I don't think that we really like got it across just how the tone is wrong for almost a- It's a movie that- Like weird like a David Lynch movie. You know what this feels like to me? Is it feels like a Terry Gellium or what's the name of the guy who directed snowpiercer? It feels like a Vongjunho that I don't know.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Yes. Was it Monjunho did snowpiercer? No way. No. I think you're being racist by crediting him. Wait, I mean, I think it's more. I'm sure. No, because snowpiercer is the guy who did the good, the bad and the weird, right?
Starting point is 00:58:46 Oh. And that's not Bong Junho. Bong Junho did the host and mother and... Mm-hmm. ...I'm gonna look it up, but it, because I can't remember his name. But it feels like a movie, one of those guys would have aced, because they would have made it manic and bright, and this is... gritty. Or like, it looks ugly.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Like, it does it, and it doesn't it there's no energy to it It doesn't move quickly. I mean we might be jaded because we've seen a lot of Bongjunho is wrong. We've seen a lot of Yeah, I am the champ. You're right. I thought it was the guy who did the good the bad and the weird but it wasn't as Bongjunho who did snowpears I saw because they both had trains at him Yeah, because I thought one train movie, like I love trains. Yeah, the same guy made the great train robbery. Made a... Made a take in a Pelamon D3,
Starting point is 00:59:31 he made a train leaving a station. Under siege dark territory. Oh yeah. And trains, the sequel to planes, the sequel to cars. That's out already? It doesn't exist. So the thing is that if you're going to show a sequence where a robot is like...
Starting point is 00:59:48 A robot is my favorite Bung June home movie by far. You like it more than the host? I didn't love the host. I like memories of murder a lot. Memories of murder is great. Yeah, I think Snowpiercer is tied with memories of murder from it. The host I thought was okay, I was disappointed by it.
Starting point is 01:00:02 It like wasn't the movie I wanted it to be. It was another one, that's where... Were your expectations built up too much? A little bit. But also it's one where the tones clash a little bit for me. Rather than being a riotous clash of tones, it was an awkward clash of tones. Clash of the tonins.
Starting point is 01:00:18 So part of the movie is that it, because... Dan, I apologize for calling you racist. If you're gonna have a movie, it turns out you have like a, like a baby robot who directed the bed in the weird. If you're gonna have a baby robot who's like kind of innocent and learning how to do things, we've seen a lot of movies, man. I've already seen that like a zillion times over. Yeah. You're gonna have to be good at doing it.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Well, but what I was gonna say is like, in a way, the fact that the tones are all wrong in this movie, like the fact that everything that's happening is just like 12 degrees off of being successful, is kind of what makes me enjoy the movie. I feel like this is mostly a bad, bad movie, but it's getting really close to a movie I kind of enjoyed because it's It's just wrong in a way that's appealing. You like you look at it with bafflement
Starting point is 01:01:14 But not in like a way that you're laughing at it in a way that just like wow This is like weird in a way that I really wish I could enjoy it and And sometimes you do, as when someone gets cut by a big, that was great on a robot. If it had been 90 minutes of that, I definitely felt like there were scenes where I was like, I thought I would enjoy this more if you described it. And Hugh Jackman's performance is at least super fun. Hugh Jackman is really good in this because he's like,
Starting point is 01:01:42 he goes all out with it. Dev Patel is kind of honest. And he goes all out and like being unappealing. Like he goes all out, and like, he's like, he's totally willing to like, drain himself of all his natural charisma. Like, he has a ton of... And he's not even trying to be a charismatic villain.
Starting point is 01:01:55 He's being a totally uncarrased, mad, and I'd like to more because of that. Yeah. And Sigorni Weaver is kind of wasted. She doesn't really leave her office for the entire movie. Well, it feels like every thing that's made me they just had like two days to shoot with her. It feels like everything is super shorthand.
Starting point is 01:02:10 And because I'm like Hugh Jackman actually brought something to the shoot, whereas everybody else didn't bring anything. I would imagine, you know, Charlotteshoe Copley with probably giving kind of boring direction, did a pretty good job, I'd imagine, and it was like stop motion suit.
Starting point is 01:02:27 Mm-hmm. No, I mean, the effects are really good. The robot acting is good. Dan, what do you think? Did you like the effects? They hired a robot to play that part. Your effects were not bad. That wasn't a human in mecha face. That was a real robot.
Starting point is 01:02:40 There's so many robot actors who are out of work while humans take those parts. Like, Power is booth. In the C3PO costume. Yeah, as the power droid. Now I'm a little bit of a power is booth in the in the 80 R booth just gunk, gunk. And the powers it still sounds a little too much like your normal character.
Starting point is 01:03:05 Can you make a more gunk-trude? Gunk. It's too menacing. It's too menacing, sir. You sound too much like an evil gambler. We're Dave and Graham, and we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. We started this podcast back in 2008, before podcasts had to have any kind of concept so we don't really know how to describe it.
Starting point is 01:03:31 It's kind of like going to the barber shop if your barber knew all about the first season of the show else. It's like a 90-minute massage where the masseuse is two people talking to each other with a third person. It's like the Monsters of Metal tour, only quieter, no music, and just talking. It's like a make-out session, but without the lips touching, they just talk a lot. Download Stop Podcasting Yourself from iTunes or MaximumFund.org. Briefly before we move on to letters, I want to say I found the note from the gentleman who sent that of Oliver, the video game.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Oh yeah, Oliver is a movie about a robot that goes crazy and she's shooting beautiful. And so I want to thank him by name. Thank you Brock, last name withheld. Oh thanks Brock, I've been playing a bunch. It's super fun. But and sorry that I didn't have that at the time but hopefully better late than never. Nope Never would have been better So what do we do now then what what part of the podcast is this?
Starting point is 01:04:44 This is the part of the podcast where we where we hurry up and do some letters some letters Rum listeners Listeners sent us letters now. We're gonna read them as do it goes to get another beer killing time right now As do it gets that beer so gather around here and listen and hear to what I'm saying as do it goes in He's opening up that beer and now the song is done seamless That was not a pleasant drinking noise First like if that's the sound I would expect if you're drinking some kind of alien beer that comes in a living gelatinous sack and you have to bite the skin and then suck the blood out and the blood is beer.
Starting point is 01:05:29 That's delicious. It's delicious, Morty. That's my brick impression from Rigid Morty. So this first letter of the night is from Mietro, last name with held, Dear Flop House. Hey, there. I wouldn't presume to friend any of you on Facebook. But Dan, could I friend your brother, John? Here are my connections to the Flop House
Starting point is 01:05:53 and by extension, John. Number one, my mother's best friend's daughter wrote a book that's being turned into a miniseries starring Anne Hathaway. Number two, I share one friend with John McCoy. Someone I don't know and who has 3,927 friends, but still, well, that's really popular. Number three, it must be like,
Starting point is 01:06:14 Ronald McDonald or Shadouon-Eeler somebody. It's Garfield. He hates Monday's buddy loves friends. Number three, I share one friend with Elliot. Shout out to Bob Sikoriak. Oh, okay. Bob Sikoriak, great. Number four, I went to high school with John Hodgman. Okay, admittedly, I have no memory of him, but I'm friends with friends of his. My friend, Fadra, says she remembers John because he carried his books to school in a briefcase.
Starting point is 01:06:38 That sounds like John Hodgman. Number five, if I had a ding dong, I would tear it off. Number six. Think about that before you make any promises. Number six, how can a clam cram in a clean cream can? I just wanted to hear Dan say that. How long were you fucking practicing that day? I can talk right if I want to. See, just didn't want to all this time?
Starting point is 01:07:04 Yeah, I'm just lazy. Please, I need more interesting friends. I can only look at I want to. See, just didn't want to all this time. Yeah, I'm just lazy. Please, I need more interesting friends. I can only look at so many baby photos though. If John and his wife have a baby, then never mind, I'm good. Best meetra. Well, you know, they don't. They've got a grown up children at this point.
Starting point is 01:07:18 They're children older than they are. Look, man, I can't control who, John, friends. That's up to him. I mean, I say go for it. You know what, he got to lose. You can't fear rejection in this world. Just put that friend request right out there. Yeah, yeah, you got to live your life a quarter mile up the time.
Starting point is 01:07:39 You know what, if you were going to die tomorrow, would you want to have regretted never asking John with colloid of a your friend on Facebook? I don't think so. Yeah, so I hope that we've given you the confidence you need to live your life. Free from fear. That's one of the four freedoms.
Starting point is 01:07:56 Mm-hmm. No fear, t-shirts, bad boys, glove, etc. I like, yeah, FDR. I was running with the big dogs stand before. When life's a beat. Uh, FDR gave his four-ferenal speech. He's wearing a no-fear t-shirt. Uh, this is from, this next one from...
Starting point is 01:08:15 We have nothing to fear. This is his inauguration, not the four-ferenal speech. We have nothing to fear, but fear itself. Check out my shirt. That's what I want from everybody. No, oh, I wore my Massimo shirt today. Check out my shirt. That's what I want from everybody. Oh, I wore my Massimo shirt today. Oh, damn it. Well, let me get my no fear shirt. Hold on. This next one is from Wyatt, not Sennac. I asked me with a wider one.
Starting point is 01:08:38 There's the only other one. The only other one is Wyatt from Weird Science and He's a fictional character. So it has to be Wyatt or the man who made Tombstone live again. He's got the stare. My friend took me to a birthday party for a stranger the other day. And while I met the birthday boy. Is this the second story? When I met the birthday boy, I said to the kids like it.
Starting point is 01:08:58 I said to the crowd that he looked like Stuart Wellington. This comment was met with silence and funny looks. What's the big idea, Stuart? I trusted you when you made me look like a fool. So, yeah, I'm really sorry that people didn't know who I am or what I looked like. I've been trying to spread the word and the face. I mean, we should have ste Stuart spread and phase well. Yeah, phase spreader. So we've had on the Shepherd fairy posters of Stuart's
Starting point is 01:09:29 face plastered all over. You'd just say dude underneath. Yeah, but they don't seem to catch it on the stage. Now you're just trying to get somebody to make a photoshop up the whole thing. They've got to now. Yeah, it's got to be done. Maybe Shepherd fairy well.
Starting point is 01:09:42 That's right. We know you're listening, Shepard. What if he was a fairy Shepard? And there was a flock of little pixies and he just kept them, you know, safe. You missed when we watched Strange Magic. I think there was a character like that. Really? Yeah. Ask Jordan Morris. I don't remember how it was too drunk. This letter is from Leanne last and with the rhymes. Dear my darling. Rhymes. It's recently brought to my attention
Starting point is 01:10:12 that other podcasts have towns and nations while your fan base is confined to a single house. In fact, I'm not even sure if we're allowed into the flop house. Nope, or if it's strictly. You can look in through the windows. In fact, I'm not even sure if we're allowed into the flop house. Nope. Or if it's strictly... Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Is it a decrepit boarding home as a pun suggests or stately manner? Do you have to pass through a mirror world, Andrew? Where's the evidence dungeon located? Our only bull is allowed. Well, probably below ground.
Starting point is 01:10:51 More in the bell-free. Our only boys allowed. Paint me a word picture. Love, Leigh Ann, last name withheld. Well, thank you for making a lot of references to things we've said in the past. Yeah. Dan, since you are the president of Housecat Productions, incorporated, you probably had the best idea of what the flop house looks like.
Starting point is 01:11:15 Well, it's a gingerbread house. I already regret that you gave him first lead on this. I'm going to take this ball back and pass down it. bounce fast. No, no, no. What else has happened take this ball back and pass down it. bounce pass. No, no, what else has happened to this gingerbread house that we apparently go to all of a sudden? You bounce back today, okay, I guess. I'm curious, I don't want to give him a chance
Starting point is 01:11:34 to redeem himself. That's how we learn listeners in. Let's see, I like your head. They come over and they want to take the gum drops and there are your holes. I'm going to take that ball back. You know what, I'm going to call it time out. Ref, can I call time out? I'm just going to take that ball back. You know what, I'm gonna call it time out. Ref, can I call it time out?
Starting point is 01:11:46 I'm just gonna take this ball back. Sure. Okay, yeah, that's not what I imagine. Okay, what do you get? It looks like the White House, but it's like five times bigger. Every room is made of TVs. So it's made for giants,
Starting point is 01:11:59 or it's just got five times many rooms. Both. What? Five times as many rooms and the rooms are five times as big. We need to travel around a little go-carts because it's so good. Go-gurts.
Starting point is 01:12:10 Little go-gurts. We use a slip-in slide lubricated up with go-gurts and that's how we slide from room to room. And we have a pet champ. Oh man, our water bills are so high for washing all that gross shit off. Okay, well, that's nice. I'm sure Dan's room is lovingly appointed with fancy stuff and things. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:36 And it's room is based on. Oh, it doesn't get all of my favorites. I was thinking it in. You can flush it out. You really know Dan well. I love the votes. If I'm not spending time with him, I'm not even having fancy stuff. I'm looking at fancy things. The Elliott's room is of course the library. Yeah, so of course you got your floor to ceiling bookshelves and scrolling ladders. Cobblabs.
Starting point is 01:13:08 Oh, so it's haunted library? Of course. Yeah, yeah. And I hide behind a beanbag chair and jump out and say boo if someone wanders in. And Stuart your room is, well, it's a Pizzeria. And it's got one of those. It's a luscious machine from the rural area. Converted from the garage. There's a straw, there's some straw matting in the corner from the sleeping.
Starting point is 01:13:33 And a bucket. We don't need to know what the bucket's for. Stroll. Stroll. Stroll. Maddie. Okay, is that bit done, Dan? Got it.
Starting point is 01:13:43 That bit done gone. So the last letter of the evening is a bit of a special letter. It comes to us on actual physical paper. Who sent this to us a mummy? Handwritten. Papyrus. Let me just read on. It goes, gentlemen of the flop.
Starting point is 01:14:03 I wonder if I might share with you my amazing, perhaps unique flop house story. Lately, having happened across your podcast, I've been listening to it obsessively to use a shop-worn term. Since I work in the film industry, I've been a good example of what, Henri Bergson, is that how you say it?
Starting point is 01:14:21 Yeah, Henri Bergson. Described in his book, laughter, as a momentary anesthesia of the heart, which is to say, I conveniently neglected the possibility that, as I enjoyed the failures of others, the bell might one day told for me, but to paraphrase Nietzsche, if you stare long enough to the flop house, the flop house will stare into you. Especially your- I thought that was a direct quotation of Nietzsche. Nietzsche was talking about a much earlier podcast.
Starting point is 01:14:54 Hamed the day when scrolling further back along the flop house feed, I arrived at my own film, The Twilight Saga, Colan Numun. Wait a minute. That was our most popular episode for a long time. Yeah, for a very long time. I was put in mind of, again, paraphrasing, the famous lines of Martin Neal Muller. First, they came from the purge, and I did not speak out.
Starting point is 01:15:15 Pride not directed the purge. Then they came from Grace of Monaco, and I did not speak out. Pride not directed Grace of Monaco. Then they came from, for temptation, confessions of a marriage councilor. I did not speak up, right not directed temptation, confession of a marriage counselor, then they came for me. And they're the analogy collapses. Well, you can imagine my sugar in, but in
Starting point is 01:15:37 truth, I can raise few objections to the episode. I kind of agree with most of the charges level. Just one set out to make a bad, bad film? Of course not. One has a new mortgage. One receives an offer. One decides it would be a good idea. And besides one thinks, one feels one can deliver what a fan of the Twilight saga might want.
Starting point is 01:15:59 One calls oneself one. You will probably not recall that all of your critiques, sorry, you'll probably not that all of your critiques, sorry, you'll probably not recall all of your critiques. But again, I agree with most of them. Yes, the golden compass was a missed opportunity. Don't get me started. I feel bad now about the things I said about the golden compass. Yes, Elliot. I too wonder where my Oscar is. The self-reguard makes me point out that I was in fact nominated in 2003, not as you say, that that actually matters for much.
Starting point is 01:16:30 What do I draw from all this? I would say that matters for a lot. That this rather amazing hour of come up, come up and for my shodden fray, shodden fray to the side. I still... You're not, you're not feeling so proud about saying that clam stuff, Craigly. Are you Dan? I mean, he's doing it words.
Starting point is 01:16:45 I'll give Dan credit. He's reading fucking written. Handwritten. That's true. As we mentioned, on Mummy Paper. He's reading straight from the Iron Lifix. Uh, this rather amusing hour of come-up and for my shodden Freud outside, I still enjoy your podcast. And it puts me in the mood to make good films. So that's good. I enclosing, closing, a copy of my post-new mood film,
Starting point is 01:17:08 A Better Life, which I'd rather like. Darian Bischard gives a lovely performance in it. And the meanwhile, I wish all three of you the very best and look forward to hearing your voices momentarily. Yours, Chris Lastname withheld, director of new moves. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha.
Starting point is 01:17:28 Hahaha. Uh, yeah. So thank you to Chris Whites, who's, uh, the definition of a classic. That is very, I feel really bad now, but I also feel good that he likes the podcast. Thanks for listening and for not me, not for not liking us.
Starting point is 01:17:42 And I would like to, uh, to remind him that I was the one who said that I liked American Pie and a Bataboy. Wow, you really threw us onto the bus quick. Yeah, I have nothing prepared here. A Bataboy is a fine movie. I've actually never seen American Pie, so I cannot speak. You've never seen American fucking pie, dude.
Starting point is 01:18:01 I've never got around to it. That was the original title. Ha, ha, ha. You know, I've seen the important scenes, by which I mean the one for Shantilism at this Tovless. All right, well, I was going to say, yeah, I was going to bring that up. I was like, surely as a guy who was young when growing up, growing up as we all have in the era of the introduction
Starting point is 01:18:20 of the internet and tone video technology, it became no longer necessary to sit through an entire film to see the moments of nudity which you knew were encased there in. I can only imagine some strange alternate universe where the internet predated just one of the guys and I no longer had to sit through the entire show on NHBO to see that one glorious moment where she takes her top off at the end. Then you would be losing all the great comedy bits. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:47 It's true. I put all the like 40-year-old teenagers playing teenagers. I have such a weird nostalgia for having to force myself to sit through terrible movies and the hopes that there might be an naked lady in it. I mean, you sound like you're off. It's better when you tease a tease, something like that out there. You're edging as a viewer. There was There was there was a time when you had to you had to really pay attention to the plot and try to figure out Which one of Shannon Schwede's patients was trying to kill her in between the sex therapy scenes where she just watched people have sex
Starting point is 01:19:22 Through a Touble-sided mirror, of course, to a mirror. Thank you very much for writing, sir. We have the DVD. And the DVD. I'm looking forward to watching that. It's Darian Bishir, isn't it? That's, is that, I like that, dude.
Starting point is 01:19:36 Yeah. Close Ian. According to the interview. He's an interviewer. He's an interviewer. He's an interviewer. He's an interviewer. He's an interviewer. He's an interviewer. He's an interviewer. He year's best performances. He's in the English language remake of the bridge.
Starting point is 01:19:47 Oh, okay, I haven't seen that yet. And he's very good in that. Well, that's a very nice letter. Oh, this is a delight. We, this is the first time that I did a direct term for one of the films that we have talked about. We've looked out. It's a good thing that Michael Bade didn't write us.
Starting point is 01:20:02 He'd be real mad. Yeah, I mean, we'll end up. Or what's his name from Faithful Finance. Neil Brie. Oh, he's not gonna write us. He's just gonna show. He's gonna fucking jump out of the computer like. Like a Samara from the ring.
Starting point is 01:20:18 Like a virtuosity. Well, so how do you think you're misremembering virtuosity? I would like to say as someone who works in another corner of the industry, it's not like I don't know the feeling of writing a thing and then seeing it in broadcast and be like, that's not exactly what I wanted it to be. You hear it or heard it your first, Dan McCoy,
Starting point is 01:20:37 ashamed of the daily show. Wow. No, but I know that that's true. I think you're doing a great job, Dan. Thanks. You get enough sleep? No, I'm not. Oh, Are you getting enough knee exercises? Probably. How's the knee?
Starting point is 01:20:52 All right. We haven't heard about the knee in a while because it's doing fine. And I also have worse things going on in my life. There you go. Yeah, you get any new shoes lately. Maybe give yourself a treat. Thanks. You know, you would get your new shoes on and suddenly everything's all right, whatever that stupid song says. Whoa, hot takes from Elliot tonight. But yeah, I think any of us involved in creative work of any kind has had stuff failed to meet our hopes and expectations.
Starting point is 01:21:22 So I don't do anything creative. That's, yeah. I'm just a garbage person who serves people to and complains about stuff on the internet. So what am I saying? I saw that. Wait, like rock? Yeah, your garbage.
Starting point is 01:21:38 I like the character rock played by Charles S. Doug formerly accused of and serve time for manslaughter He did his time. He did his time. Okay. He did his time on the set of alien three What's he up to now what what is it about? What is it about terrifying things that draw us in a little bit closer Charles has done still live not alive I don't know. Well use your computer phone. So just pause the podcast. Okay, look it up to the garbage. Take the garbage, drain the podcast to the garbage. Now go into the help. What color is? No, we're not asking on blood So
Starting point is 01:22:31 Dan while you're looking that up should I introduce the next the next segment? So what's the next thing we do really so we've talked about the movie okay? We gave our final judgments we read the letters and we were amazed Now at this point at this point I think it's not Charlie Charleston is according to IMDB. Still a lot. Okay, who am I thinking of then? Who passed away?
Starting point is 01:22:48 Don't know. Dan, name everybody who died in the... Danny Houston? No. Ernest Borgmine. No. Ernest Borgmine. No.
Starting point is 01:22:56 You know what? We can't have Bernas Dorgnines. I think I'm thinking of Looney tunes background artist, Maurice Noble. Okay. This is the time in the podcast where we say, hey, we just recently had a contest, and we have a winner for that contest, right Dan? Yeah, it's Tom Horstman.
Starting point is 01:23:16 Tom Horstman now. But Jack Horstman. And I have contacted him via email. As the last minute initiator of this contest, I totally sprung it on you dudes. And we kinda sprung it on you, the listeners, and gave you very little time to turn in artwork for this. I gotta say, I was blown away by the quality
Starting point is 01:23:36 of stuff that people turned in. There were some fantastic entries. If you have an chance to check this out, or you're just tuning in, go over to the Flop-Ass website and check out the, go to the blog Flop-Ass website and check out the go-to-the-blog section, I think, and look at the contest entries because there's some really great choking victim posters. And I would have been proud to put any of these things up in my in my bar. I have to say, now I need to open like, fucking 12 more bars to fucking put all these posters up.
Starting point is 01:24:03 I want to say to Tony Oker was a very close runner up and he's done some great animations for us in the past, just as a fan. And so I also kind of, I got nervous when I saw Tony's go up because his went up super fast. And I was like, everyone's going to be totally terrified because his looks so great. And I, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:25 So I added the second prize. So Tom Horseman is going to get the T-shirt plus the grand prize. Taking a movie for us to watch. Not get nothing but trouble. Tony Oker is going to. No, not a lot of pick nothing but trouble. I think that's the one movie. No, no.
Starting point is 01:24:42 T-shirt. What kind of T-shirt? Like a nice gap. A plot- like a t-shirt. So. What kind of t-shirt, like a nice gap, like an old Navy T? I mean, they're on American Apparel T. The thing is, Ellie, it's going to be a t-shirt. It's going to be a t-shirt that confirms that you should have no fear. That's what I need from a t-shirt to deal with my fear.
Starting point is 01:25:01 That's great and exciting contest. We'll have another contest someday soon. Dan, normally I'd say we should promote our live show on January 15th, but there's no reason to since we sold out already. It's sold out in five days, which is insanity. Thank you to everyone who bought tickets and apologies to everyone who missed out this time around.
Starting point is 01:25:21 We will do another one. I guess we'll do another show sometimes. I mean, we gotta do another one. There a demand, so the market has to supply it. Yeah. Maybe we'll make another. Thanks, Elliot Dan and Stuart. Thanks for going to the first class in an economic course. That's the only one I took. I got bored and I left. I was like, I can draw superheroes somewhere else. True. You pretty much draw superheroes anywhere. The quad. Yeah. In the barns, a noble. At the end, while you're all the mangoes, I mean, mangoes, again, you hear the
Starting point is 01:25:58 mangoes out of barns, novel. So, we so the contest winner was announced. We promoted a show that sold out already. Sorry, everybody. And so now I think we recommend very quickly the movie that we watched that we actually enjoyed. That is what we do now. I'm going to go first. I'm going to recommend movie that I assumed I'd already recommended. And then I checked the flop house recommends page, which you should totally check out. Just Google that shit. the flop house recommends page which you should totally check out just Google that shit Fly Pipe's recommends lovingly maintained by oh my god. I want to say Ian Whitney. Is that correct? Well double check at day and all at this ad if I put that up So yeah, Dan's I do a lot of it these days
Starting point is 01:26:40 I'm gonna write a 90 minute episode show. I'm gonna recommend an amazing movie called Dead or Alive directed by Takeshi Miyake. It is a crime. I'm surprised you haven't recommended it. I know it's a crime thriller. If I've already recommended it, if not, people should just watch it anyway. It's great. It's a crime thriller set in Japan. It is very characteristic of a Tokeshi Mieke movie because it moves super fast at times and super slow at other times. The movie actually even begins with like a punk rock count off. It's super gross. There is a scene where a woman gets drowned in a inflatable pool full of poop. And it has the craziest ending I've ever seen. So if at any point you're like,
Starting point is 01:27:30 I'm kind of bored, this movie's boring. Just stick it out, dude. Watch the whole fucking thing. That's my recommendation, Dead or Alive. But don't take my word for it. Check out Dead or Alive. But you look alive, right? And while you're at it, watch Dead or Alive too,
Starting point is 01:27:44 because it's super great too. I was really sitting here racking my brain most sure we're talking because I did not walk into this podcast knowing what I was going to recommend. And I haven't had the time to watch a lot of movies lately. You've been busy. Through that. But I remember that there was a movie that I watched
Starting point is 01:28:05 on my computer. in Trance's. I don't know, all these traveling. What kind of trance it was? Yeah, was this a AirBorn? It was on a train. Were you watching the movie AirBorn? Some kind of Sky Train. It was on a train.
Starting point is 01:28:20 I don't think I recommended this. I think I said something just stewart about it. I don't think I could stop making sense. I'm gonna rip my face off. Luckily you're flying somewhere on Friday, so you'll have a movie for next episode. Yeah. I watched the documentary, Drunk Stone, Brilliant Dead. I didn't recommend that. Oh, I don't think so about the lampoon.
Starting point is 01:28:40 About the national lampoon. And it's very entertaining documentary. It's done in sort of a kaleidoscopic kid stays in the picture style. And you know, it's the thing about the lampoon is like, I don't necessarily have a lot of affection for it. And like a lot of the comedy hasn't worn well for me. A lot of it is kind of has like a mean overtone and it's and it seemed to be like wanting to shock to shock. But you cannot deny the influence it has had on comedy culture. I feel like it opened a lot of doors to a new style of comedy that has been in its sort of derivative forms, great and influential. And it's a fast movie, it's about 90 minutes long, it's very interesting. Tell us, does the DVD come with interactive menu screens? Well, I got it's great. I got it streaming from iTunes, so I don't know but
Starting point is 01:29:49 Scream and not I do Torn from the iTunes Untimely ripped from his mother's I-to's if you're an old man like me Movie that's fast is Less time to live you got to make the most of it. Yeah, who can watch reds these days? You'll be dying. I can't. So good movie to bed. So that's what I recommend. If you are interested in comedy at all, I think you'll find something
Starting point is 01:30:17 interesting in Drunk Stone, brilliant dead. I'm going to recommend a couple episodes ago. I recommended a movie by the Japanese director Mikio Narusei, which was kind of a women's melodrama film called Yenza Cosmetics. I watched another one of those since then that I liked called Wife. That is kind of, it's a, which is a much more of a downer movie in some ways about people in a marriage that they have kind of stops trying to make work until a crisis comes along and they don't know how to deal with it.
Starting point is 01:30:50 But I thought it was really good and I liked it a lot. It's called Wife and I'm also going to recommend case you have the time to watch a home movie for whatever reason. Turn of Classic movies around Halloween showed a bunch of David Lynch's old shorts and I got to catch up on one side of the meeting and watch for a long time and hadn't and there's a very short movie he had done for a like Lumiere Brothers anniversary project called Premonition Following an Evil Deed which is less than a minute long and but is still one of the like most chilling things I've seen in a while it's a really scary one minute so I would or 55 seconds or so I'd recommend that.
Starting point is 01:31:27 I think it's on YouTube, Premonition Following an Evil Deed. Three great, wait, four great recommendations. Mm-hmm, okay. Now what do we do in the podcast, Dan? Now we blessedly sign off and turn the key and lock the house up so nobody fucks it out. It's right.
Starting point is 01:31:49 That's what you do with houses. Yeah, I mean, are we leaving the house with the key on a chain around our neck? Get on a plane and fly somewhere else. Now we lock the door, take the key, melt it down, turn it into a little figurine. Okay, like a humble. Exactly. Wait, that's like we got to re-melt the key back into a key shape every week. Extra security. Yeah, like in the movie The Patriot where they melt down the little toy soldiers in the bullets. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:32:14 Or like the movie. That's the greatest movie in the world. According to my dad, it is because the costumes are very realistic. Okay. My dad judges movies based on how historically accurate the costumes are in his mind and how accurately it shows how battles were done in the past. My dad is exactly the same way. Any movie where people...
Starting point is 01:32:35 Two towers isn't as good because the siege warfare isn't super accurate. Any movie where two armies just stand and shoot at each other and don't move around very much. My dad loves. Yeah. Zulu Dawn is the best movie in the world, according to my dad. Interesting. Well, this has been dead talk. We gave our dad talks. It's the annual dad talk conference. So going in next week when Allie and Stuart's dads will be, what's the best kind of lunch, Elliott? My dad's got lots of thoughts about that. Hey, what's the best kind of lunch, Elliot?
Starting point is 01:33:05 My dad's got lots of thoughts about that. Hey, what's wrong with this generation? What town are you from? Because my dad's probably been there and we'll tell you what restaurant he's eating in. And what he thought of it. Did he buy anything in a store in that town? You'll find out.
Starting point is 01:33:19 But until that's just a teaser. Until then, I'm the Dan McCoy. I'm still steward Wellington. Every time I check, I'm really can't let no matter how hard I hope it changes. And I, everyone, peace. Let's just do the podcast we do. Yeah, come on, man, who cares. Hey, eat a dick. Hard life. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,. Yeah, come on, man, who cares. Hey, eat a dick. How are you? What? No.
Starting point is 01:33:46 No. Uh, how are you doing on this plot summary? I know some of the reasons why things are happening. Yeah. Because a lot of things don't mean in a world. What things happen? What's Syria? Oh.
Starting point is 01:34:04 Oh, dad, what's serious? Dad what was Vietnam? Remember that Wait, was that a commercial? There's like a PSA when I was kids. What was Vietnam? Dear children He's like, but dad I don't have children talk to your children about Vietnam. I guess Yeah, I think there were a I think there were a lot of questions about Vietnam back then. Well, they were telling, teaching you just say no to Vietnam's.
Starting point is 01:34:29 Mm-hmm, yeah. Kids, if you ever find that you're sending more and more military advisors to Southeast Asia. That was the. To protect French colonial interests, just say no. That was a thing. It was a PSA for Henry Pictures. It's called the Pacific.
Starting point is 01:34:43 It was made for by people to get Henry Kissinger to talk to his kids. I don't understand what. What do you do these things? I learned it from watching you death. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture, artist owned. Listener supported. Hi, I'm Brian Safi. And I'm Aaron Gibson. And we have the throwing shade podcast. On throwing shade, we look at an issue-important to ladies and an issue-important to gay people, and then we basically make fun of that. Yeah, and just to answer your question, no, we don't have a marriage pact, but if we don't
Starting point is 01:35:14 get married by the time we're 30, we're going to do that each other. No, that's true. Okay. Okay, we have each been divorced three times. times.

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