The Flop House - Ep. #196 - Aloha
Episode Date: January 23, 2016Will Cameron Crowe ever rebound from his Elizabethtown slump? Probably not with the even-worse Aloha. Meanwhile, Dan calls out famed painter Leonardo Da Vinci, Elliott can't remember the rich Bazooka ...Joe cast of characters, and Stu engages in something that's definitely a bit. Movies recommended in this episode: It's Such a Beautiful DaySicarioClass of 1984
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On this episode we discuss Aloha.
Hello.
Goodbye. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy.
Hello, I'm Stuart Wellington.
And I'm Elliot Kaylin coming to you live on tape.
That's not true. Okay, well there you go. I'm not dead. Lynn coming to you live on tape true. Okay. Well, there you go. I'm not dead yet. Oh, unless when you're listening to this
I'll have died already. I'm fine. My killer. Okay. All right. It's Stewart. Oh, that was easy. It was me.
I mean, why'd you do it? Stu? What'd you do it? Well, it all goes back to the tail of the missing diamond
Not the most original imaginative name for the tail, I guess it's an old story was the first time a diamond was missing
Every other lemon story
It was just missing it was missing like you dropped on the floor and someone vacuumed it up
This was before floors existed.
So I just fell to the center of the earth.
A dawn of time.
We just kept zooming back and forth in the earth
and finally, it's settled in the floor.
I just want to say, Mr. Wellington,
you say this was the dawn of time, but it was a diamond.
Wouldn't it take millions of years
to turn anything into a diamond?
So how could there be one at the dawn of time?
I don't know.
I think I saw a magman running around with it.
Oh, that makes sense.
That makes sense.
You're probably right.
Okay.
One more question.
Uh, what?
It's in the center of the area.
That's where the magma men went.
I like that.
Flambos famous catfish.
One more question.
What?
One more question.
Uh, murderous, eh?
What?
What? Case closed. That's One more question. Murderous, I what?
What?
Case closed.
That's what I thought.
Take away my voice.
We can't use that in court.
Is it a sergeant?
Yeah, sergeant in the tent.
I didn't know that.
I was lieutenant, lieutenant in the tent in the club.
Oh, I apologize.
Yeah, that got me busted down.
Yeah, that got me way too many.
It's a shame.
Busted makes me feel good.
Okay, I say. So Dan, what are we doing in the flop house? Yeah, the bus to them down. Yeah, they got a new way to make me feel good.
What can I say? So Dan, what are we doing the fly pass? This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and
then we talk about it. And tonight we watch the movie.
Did we? I'm still not quite sure that we did.
Aloha.
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
A hoi. A hoi.
A hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a ho He's not a crusty old salt like most sea cat. That was very friendly and open.
If anything, a little too open.
Yeah, he's a soft silky salt.
He keeps telling me, he keeps asking me if I want to come down to the docks and scrape
off some barnacles and I get creeped out.
I think he's talking literally, but I don't know.
Nobody knows, because no one's ever taken him up on the offer.
He's got the most barnacle and crusted ship on the dock.
Some say there's a ship beneath all them barnacles.
The weird thing, the dock that is photos tied up to?
Doc Hollywood.
No, the first time as a kid that I ever saw an erotic cake.
It was Doc Hollywood.
Yeah, because they give him like a, it's like a boob shaped cake or something because
he's a plastic surgeon.
Yeah.
Is his last name Hollywood? It has to be
And his first name is Doc. He's not a doctor. Yeah, it's like the door
Not door. Oh, they said door. Yeah. I probably did. I still don't understand why I don't know if you've noticed this
But I have a habit of mispronounce it. I don't know if you've noticed this but I have a mispronouncement thing. I don't believe that. Some really slightly sometimes
drastically old all the way McLeod. So we watched a little.
Hello. Hello. This is what D'Areal does the first time. It's a movie by Cameron
Crow. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He have say anything the crow the one camera in first-bular's day off yeah
uh...
but else guy
he did uh... we bought a zoo
we sold a zoo
why did we have a zoo anyway
and then the tree quall which is the third movie in the series which was called
remember we had that zoo
that was weird it was weird
the movie
rate it off he also he also made for hardcore nudity Remember when we had that zoo? That was weird. It was weird. The movie, right at all.
He also made for hardcore nudity.
He made a movie called Say Anything,
the Elliot Kalen story.
Oh, you got me.
And he wrote Fast Times at Rigmont, Hig.
And I almost famous.
Almost famous, fam. Mo famous. Almost famous. Fam moves.
Almost from house.
A lot of mouse that went on tour with a rock band.
That rock band, the modest mouse.
Almost went on the tour.
Yeah, he was turned away at the border.
Yeah, because he's the border of what?
Castlevania.
Yeah, that's right.
So, camera.
The canterals, come on. Canterals, yeah. So, so the can't come on. Yeah, it's girls. Yeah. So Cameron
Crows made a lot of movies. Yeah, he's, uh, well, how does
it seem like he could do no wrong up until the
Elizabeth town, certain points. Yeah, Elizabeth
town was that point was Elizabeth town. Did he do? I
get him mixed up with Richard Linklater
sometimes. Yeah, and I started thinking that Cameron
Crows made School of Rock and the Newton boys. He didn't make those Richard Linklater sometimes. And I started thinking that Cameron Crowe made School of Rock and the Newton boys, he didn't make those.
Richard Linklater made those.
Yeah, do you ever think that Cameron Crowe made
a scanner darkly or waking life?
Yeah, I do, I do indeed.
And sometimes I think he made Slacker.
And sometimes I think he made Boyhood.
And sometimes I think he made Pie,
which is a Darren Arnorski movie.
I'm not even a Richard Linklater movie. Sometimes I think he made pie, which is a Darren Arnorski movie. Not even a rich or a link letter movie.
Sometimes I think you made it.
Is it because they all have really striking uses of popular music?
I think that's part of it.
I think Richard Linklater and Cameron Crowe also do a certain type of film that I'm going
to call character focused and necessarily plot focused.
And in this case of Aloha, I think that's how Cameron Crowe went,
a little too far astray.
There's not a lot of plot in this movie.
And then suddenly at the end, there's a lot of plot.
And the characters are not particularly interesting.
Well, here's something that I'm gonna admit upfront.
Final judgments, I didn't like it, Dan.
No, I'm just gonna allow, what do you do?
I'm gonna admit upfront that, you know, contrary to what you may believe, this may shock
the average flop house listener, but we are not.
We're a first time listener.
We are not paying full attention to these movies.
We pay, here's the thing, I feel like it's up to the movie to grab our attention and engage
us.
And this movie from the first moments failed to do that.
Yeah, but I would. The movie didn't take away phone or day in's cat that was sitting on my lap.
But the reason I bring this up is because I feel like most movies we watch are bad in a way that
they're still easy to follow.
Sure.
Like they're so simple-minded that we can just, you know, we know what's happening
because we've seen movies before.
This movie is, the problem with it is it's so dialogue-driven,
it's all just banter.
And if you miss some of that banter, you're kind of like,
what, what, why is, who, why is that?
Visually, there's not a lot of markers
as to what's going on at any point.
Yeah, and, but even dialogue was,
it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
No, and even dialogue wise, it's weak.
Like, they don't explain things.
Why don't you just keep describing their personalities
to each other over and over?
The characters do a lot of exactly explaining their personalities
without managing to really explain who they are
or what they're doing at the same time.
Let's, should we get into the plow-dime on it?
Yeah, let's get into the meat of these potatoes.
Yeah. Because we, they're what, these potatoes. Because they're what jacket potatoes.
We got in Scotland and they started hollowed them out and filled them with meat.
That's right.
That sounds delicious.
They do that.
Oh, it's great.
It's actually fantastic.
Let's hurry this up so I can go get some jacket potatoes.
You can go in the Edinburgh, get some jacket potatoes.
Yeah, it's got you to wash it down.
Is that the same thing?
Yeah, the stuff.
Not really.
I mean, like an egg inase and sausage incase and fried.
That sounds delicious. Let's, yeah, let's wrap this up.
I've long said Scotland has maybe the best cuisine of any country.
It's all fried meat.
People are largely alone in there.
The Scott's agree with me. That's why they have the highest rate of heart disease in Europe.
But anyway, science fact, sad really.
This movie is about characters, interesting characters like
Bradley Cooper, hey, remember him from limitless
and what Valentine's Day.
My little eye.
What is that?
That's right, that's what most people know.
He's in my little eye where he plays a creepo.
I don't remember that movie.
Okay, yeah.
Bradley Cooper from the 18.
He was in that though. That was true. That was remember that movie. Okay, yeah. Bradley Cooper from the 18. He was in that though.
That was true.
That was a big movie.
I'm just saying that like, I, you know, I feel like this, like,
when I'm American summer, you know, we're first day class
from whatever that show was.
It was in a TV show that he was in.
Was it one?
He was.
Yeah, it was.
When in my heart for like a silver lining's playbook or something
or even like a gardens of the galaxy.
You wouldn't, you know, you wouldn't go for some of these.
It wasn't garden.
He's rocking.
He's in the suit.
The first suit.
He's in the suit.
He's in the CGI first suit.
I forgot that he did the voice rocket raccoon.
What about Rocky raccoon?
Did he do that voice?
Or is that Paul McCartney?
He probably could, man.
He's a Renaissance man.
He is a, he is a Renaissance raccoon. He's. He's a Renaissance man. He is a Renaissance raccoon.
He's a raccoon a-sons man.
Just like Leonardo da Rodins.
He's a time-through of new with Renaissance.
Yeah, and they were like,
you're a raccoon, what?
We don't even know raccoons are.
That's a new world animal.
We haven't discovered you yet.
And he was like, yes, you have.
It was 1492, dudes.
Look at my sketchbooks filled with drawings
of my elaborate bone structure.
For was that just machines that won't work?
Yeah.
Yeah, take that Leonardo da Vinci.
Yeah, dummy.
Good job, dummy, with your flying machines.
That's not how it works.
Why don't you fucking figure out the Bernoulli principle and maybe it'll get close to you, dumbass.
I mean, did he, is that a thing you figured out?
No, I'm just, no, I'm saying that if he did, maybe I don't know.
Oh, okay.
He's got to fucking study the structure of Bird's Wings.
You jackass.
Fuck you.
Wow.
Damn.
Damn, calm down, damn, I got it.
Elliot, hold him back.
Yeah, literally.
I got a lot of, I got a lot of,
Leo, Leo, Leonardo, just go home.
The listeners can't see this,
but Leonardo David G is in the core right now, who are like, what, what, Leonardo, just go home. The listeners can't see this, but Leonardo da Vinci is in the corner right now
going like, what, what did I do?
What's the problem with it being, yeah?
Dan, I thought we were a pals.
That's why I come up out of here.
You recorded a podcast.
You go the fuck away, like,
should I not make them out of wood,
winning a beat song for you?
No, please make that and leave it here.
It's called Vitruvian Pies.
All right, ba, ba, ba, I, but I'm invented that a song. You know that because I'm a renaissance man. Hey, I make it
a, I make a painting for you. You're real nice. And that's the latest. You smile a
little bit. You not know why. So that's how you love this painting. That's how we
sold the Mona Lisa. Michael Ains Angel is like, I tell you what,
this is a ceiling look at two blank.
I bought a two big guys, one with a beard,
one no beard, no clothes.
No, Michael Angel, we just want a blue,
like a sky blue ceiling.
I use that, okay, you're gonna not gonna blue.
I'm gonna blue in it, but a lot of other things,
hey, that's a good boss.
I illustrate a bunch of Bible things for you.
Da da da da da da da da da.
Leonardo says he invented that song.
I invented that song.
Michael Andrew, are you the guy who made that statue?
That guy with his dick that fell off.
That's dick that fell off.
It was called the Casada Freak, the statue.
Anyway, dudes, I gotta go to a party.
Come on, whoopie.
You know, da da da da da da. A lot of peopleopie. You know? That, that, that, that.
A lot of people don't know that Michelangelo
and Ninja Turtles personality was based
on Michelangelo the artist.
It's amazing you finished the Sistine Chapel.
Hey, I call him a bunga for you, huh?
Yeah, that's a good rest, Flanner.
Anyway, so.
I think he painted that whole ceiling using nonchaku.
So, Bradley Cooper, he is with, he used to be at the military.
Now he's a contractor for a billionaire played by Bill Murray.
He has been sent to Hawaii where he is, where he was before and he knows people there.
In fact, his old flame Rachel McAdams, who is now married to John Presentse, he playing
the part of Woody, the Air Force pilot. Not from Toy Story.
Not Woody from Toy Story.
It's a different Woody.
It's not Woody from Cheers.
It's not Woody, like Woodrow Wilson
being called that by his friends.
It's just a different guy named Woody.
And he's like, he got into, like, it's alluded to,
he got into some bad shit in Afghanistan.
I mean, he talks about it later on.
Yeah, but like,
I talked about it up front that he got injured. He got injured
Yeah, there's a voice over where he explains how he got injured in the leg. This injury doesn't really seem to slow him down
And he kind of forgets about it for most of the movie. Yeah, but also like it seems like what happened to him
I mean, I probably missed something so I didn't want to talk to with too much authority
But it just seems like the bad thing that happened to him was just that like oh a bomb went off and he got in well
But also and his and he lost the love of his life.
Rachel McHatton.
And it also his life feels seems like even though he has a.
It was also tied in with him being like what more like questionable because he was skimming
money off the top of his employer.
Yes, so I don't remember if we find out at the beginning, but later on he talks about how
he was stealing money from.
That'd be tough for you to reveal upfront and have sympathy for a million bucks.
He's got all these babes on his hands.
I could at least two, but I'd kinda have.
That's all, that's all I have.
He'll lay us two hands.
Yeah, he is a tiny babes on a hand.
He is a rare disorder where sexy babes
are growing out of his hands.
They're like a tiny ballerina from a racer head.
They just live on his hands.
I guess you could call her a ballerina.
I'd call her like a radiator fairy.
Yeah, you know, yeah, she's with big cheeks.
She's an entertainer.
Let's call her that.
In heaven, everything is fine, okay.
That's right.
Everything is great.
What did you say to that song?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I know everything is fine, because you got your good things, and I've got mine.
It's a haunting song.
Anyway, that's a better movie.
Can we talk about a racer head?
Sure.
That's in some ways of more romantic and affecting movie than that.
David Lynch never did tell us how he did that baby effect.
Oh, he mutilated a baby. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that baby
Rope to be
Bradley Cooper, which brings us to a low-ha so hello. He's
Still it's been so he's come to he's
We're talking about it. He's bringing just bring it back. I'll bring it back. It's got a full tank when you bring it back
Feel the whole tank of yux juice
He has come back to Hawaii too. Oh come. They haven't marketed a kids drink called a yux juice
It's you got to take that idea and run with it. Mm-hmm all the way to the garbage can
Yeah, that's what the package is called, the garbage can. The package that you get yolks juice out of.
It's like a shaped like a garbage can that you stick a straw in through the top.
And then the stuff leaks out the bottom.
Oh, like a real garbage.
Okay.
So Bradley Cooper is there.
And then they get us a slurpen above the floor.
Or off their hands.
The air ball.
So Bill Murray is building up, is,
he is a billionaire who is launching,
wants to launch a satellite to space,
a private satellite from a Hawaiian Air Force base.
I think it's, or maybe it's in the, in the water or something.
And he's building a pathway between two,
or a gate between two bases.
And Bradley Cooper's whole job is to be there
to facilitate getting real Hawaiians
to do a religious ceremony to bless this gateway.
Because it seems like there's maybe some ancestral burial ground.
There's some bones or something.
The bones that have to be moved
to be located.
They have to be located.
So they can build their stargate.
That's right.
Is that what that's made out of bones?
No, but they're building a stargate.
No, they're building literally a gate.
It's not a stargate.
But they're talking about building a gate
and then they shoot something into space.
But not through the gate.
You can still call it that though.
Although if you can call something a stargate, why wouldn't you call it a stargate?
If you go into Madrid, there's a place called the Puerto del Sol.
That's true, and the sun is not literally coming through that.
Exactly. You don't travel through a magical portal and get to the sun,
but you can call it that if you want.
I will say that they shouldn't need a stargate,
because like 2001's monolith,
my god, this movie's full of stars. Bradley Cooper and the stone, Rachel McAdams.
Johnny presents the Alec Broadwin, Danny McBride, Bill Murray, probably the ghost of Mickey
Rooney is somewhere around there, you know. Yeah, this is, I was saying we want to spend
eternity in Hawaii.
This is probably the most wasteful.
Because that's what this movie feels like.
The most waste of cast I've seen in a film.
Well, I don't know.
What about like a movie where they're on drugs a lot of the time?
They'd be a pretty wasted cast.
Right.
All right.
Like what like the last movie or something?
Yeah, like Dennis Hopper's the last movie.
All right, sure.
But yeah, I know this is a movie where you're like,
oh, I like that person.
That's not gonna help me.
That's not gonna help me enjoy this movie.
No, you're hoping that their charm will just carry you through that.
Yeah, the movie is like,
it works for a very short period of time in some cases.
I would say that this movie is roughly similar to
bobbing in the ocean with no land around you
on which to gain purchase.
And every now and then, I like a driftwood. Piece of driftwood in the form of no land around you on which to gain purchase and every now and then a like a driftwood
Piece of driftwood in the form of like an Emma Stone or a Bill Murray floats by and you can kind of like briefly scramble onto it
It's catch your breath and then it slips out from under you and you fall into the sea again
And you just tread in water trying to figure out what the hell is going on in this movie
So rally coopers there to arrange this religious ceremony. He sees his ex-Rage with Adams, his married to Woody.
And she's still banging.
And the, I guess, military liaison that's attached to him
to kind of guide him through his Emma Stone,
who mentions many times that she is a quarter Hawaiian
and a quarter Chinese.
And it's something that...
And 100% Caucasian.
Yeah, I mean, in real life, yeah.
She, even at one point, she mentions that she's a quarter,
how wide a quarter Chinese and a half Swedish or Swiss.
And even that kind of implies like, but of course, the superior
genes one out, and I look blonde and white. There's a very,
there's like, there was a lot of negative publicity when the
movie came out about casting a clearly Caucasian actress to be a half Asian Hawaiian character.
And I found that it bothered me in that the fact that she doesn't look Hawaiian or Asian should be more of her character than it is. Like she seems to be pretty much at peace with how she looks.
And another thing that's weird is that she's presented
on the first scene as the kind of like all business,
military discipline, like this is the person
who's no nonsense.
And then every other scene after that,
she's like super chill, just wants to kick back.
Like it's like the movie, it's like in between shooting scenes,
she and Cameron Crowe talked about the character
and changed their conception of it,
but didn't do any to address that.
Now can I say a little something about,
is it gonna get us in trouble?
Yes, now can I say a little something about Cameron Crowe
and you don't care who men and women relationships
in his movies?
Yeah, because I believe that it was after Elizabeth Town,
and maybe wrong, that Nathan Raven,
our friend Nathan Raven coined the phrase
manic pixie dream girl.
I thought, I thought, yeah.
Is it off of that?
Elizabeth Town, or was it, maybe it was Elizabeth Town?
No, I think it was Elizabeth Town.
And the thing about the classic manic pixie dream girl
is that they have, have just look it up
But they've got no we're not gonna do that. I'm not even gonna edit this if I find out I'm wrong
But the thing about the classic Maddoxie dream girl is she does not have any inner inner life of her own
She's there to help the male protagonist like self-actual
She's like the Virgil to his Dante. Yeah.
Just to clasp this shit for a moment.
Yeah.
And like that was totally true in Elizabeth Town.
Like she's like, oh, this is a crazy, like, ladies coming in and she's going to fix this
broken guy.
And it's also true.
It sure wasn't Garden State.
It could be Garden State.
Oh.
It could be Garden State.
Oh, I'm in Garden State.
Otherwise known as Elizabeth Sound Mark I.
No, I'm thinking, State. Otherwise known as Elizabeth Sound Mark I. No, thinking, yeah.
No, thank you.
Leonardo da Vinci come back in.
Also known as, yeah, Elizabeth town directed by Zach Braff.
Yeah, but um,
except Garden State came first.
Yeah, but so this, this also first
and the movie he shot was Garden State.
This also shot first.
Con shot.
Shot's part first.
That would have been a great title
hot shots considering um so this is sitting in the direction the series of it but this is definitely
in that they added a part do this is definitely in that vein and that we like Bradley Cooper is
introduced to us like the movie just like basically tells us this is a broken man it doesn't
never seems broken I mean tells us says he is yeah she tells him there's a broken man. It doesn't matter what he never seems broken. I mean, he says he is.
She tells him there's a scene where she's like,
you're so cynical.
And then she earlier, she just talking about him
and somebody else knew over here.
And she's like, he's like this wounded guy.
So it was such a wreck.
And you're like, I have not seen that in him.
Like the second scene in the movie is her reporting
to somebody and he's listening in.
And she's basically just describing his character
and he's like, what?
But he's, she might as well be like, he's so sexily broken.
Yeah, I know the brokenness in it is something that I've got to fix with my vagina.
And her, I don't know, zest for life.
Yeah.
She has a lot of zest.
She's obsessed, like, clean.
But, but I mean, like, is just a, like this is.
And here's the thing, Bradley Cooper,
Ken Playbroken Characters, Silver Lining's Playbook,
he does a very good job in that.
Yeah, but in this, he does not.
I feel like both of the characters
have a little more going on, but.
We should get a cane.
Yeah, I mean, he should have the cane.
My cocaine.
That like, you know?
Hello, Bradley.
You know, you're not Bradley. Would you as a character with real problems when you don't sleep to have any of you.
You could just even like grimace every now and then, you know.
Hey guys, it's me Bradley Cooper. Michael came. Why won't you let me lean on your buddy? That's right Perfect, wait, are you still doing Michael gain out?
No, no, you're your favorite. I love billion dollar brain. I just wanted it
I wanted to get back my original point because I actually have like I think I'm and like an interesting point about
Okay, let's do it. Let's let's not be silly for a moment
This sorry, sorry, okay this moment. But like this character in a stunt place
doesn't have like really much agency herself
as charming as she is.
She's just there to like fix the main character.
And Cameron Crowe has done more interesting love stories
in the past.
Sure.
I think that Jeremy Guire works better than this.
Like this story.
The story of a super successful agent
who continues to be successful and then gets a girl.
Yeah, but he shows him the money.
To some degree, like that's still a woman there who's there to fix a broken man,
but it was also not particularly broken.
But Tom Cruise is better in that one at expressing that he's unhappy at least.
Yeah.
And that movie works a little better because we spend a little more time with Rene Zauvogar.
So we get a little bit of an idea of who she might be as a person otherwise.
And saying anything, you could argue
that that's like about a manic pixie-dream guy
who like comes in person.
Name John Lahoni.
And that makes it a little interesting because it's flipped.
And I would say that the interesting thing about Vanilla Sky,
a movie that a lot of people don't like,
I actually kind of have a lot of affection for it,
but I think that what's interesting about that movie is it's kind of an indictment of
this sort of movie because Tom Cruise in that movie really like looks at women as something
that are arguing to fix them or as like something external to him some like object that he can
like possess and the whole fantasy that he goes through and the science fiction fantasy
that he goes through in that movie is his brain
constructing a reality where this woman does come
and fix him and then reality is a total rejection of that.
Spoiler of that.
So I think that Cameron Crowe has the capability
to critique himself, but he doesn't do it in this movie at all.
That's all I wanted to say about that.
Do you think this is a regular scheduled goofs now?
Do you think he had an idea and he lost his way,
do you like budget or pressure or whatever,
or do you think he was just like,
I wanna go on vacation in Hawaii.
You saw the Adam Sandler method.
Yes.
I think he probably wanted to do a movie in that setting.
There's a lot in it where characters talk about Hawaiian myths
or there's a scene where they go to a place
that actual Native Hawaiians live and briefly
talk about how Hawaii is.
It feels kinda like when...
Is he?
His dad just comes back from his first trip to New Orleans
and is like, I can't wait to tell you all about jazz
that I'm super into now.
More like, my dad has taken a couple trips to China
and Singapore now as part of his work and he comes back
and like wants to tell me all about
these amazing things he's learned about those countries,
which is great, but it would be really irritating
if he then made a movie telling me all about it
as if he's the guardian.
But I'm impressed.
I'd be really impressed if your dad made a movie just to like, just if he could's the guardian. But I'm impressed. I'd be really impressed with your dad made a movie
just to like just if he could secure the financing.
I'd be impressed.
You know, it's not a cheap thing to do.
And he's backers like,
well, what's this movie about, Mr. Caleb?
Well, I just want to teach my son something about it.
I went to this really neat temple in Singapore
and I want to tell him all about the statues
that were in there.
So I'm going to make the movie.
I've already got to the statues come to life.
No, but they represent different gods.
So the night of the museum, sort of situation.
It is daytime, not at a museum, but at a temple.
But I did go to a museum and I do want to tell them
about that too.
So I guess, you know what?
We'll make that part of it also.
Anyway, so Zach Efron has already attached a star.
As the dad?
As the stah... It's we're going to have to put. As the dad? As the dad.
It's, we're gonna have to put some old age makeup.
Maybe a mustache.
Just playing the statue.
The statues are gonna be played by all the original bangles.
Oh, wow.
And since an anti-bangle,
the original since the day bangles.
You've been boomer as I said the first ones.
And one bangle tiger,
because there's more than one statue
and one of the statues.
But he's still wearing football pants.
Oh, yeah.
Well, he's actually been played by Tony the tiger in like a football theme.
Oh, he's right.
He's actually, don't believe the hype.
He says that about himself, but he is actually just good.
This is not Oscar material, but he gets the job done.
Still.
Yeah.
So there's a little, oh, say, okay, I'm going to give you the shortest
possible description of a low hop. Sure. A guy walks in to a bar. He does a one point.
He's here for this kind of small scale thing. He manages to get it by making a deal with
some Hawaiian people who we almost never see against another movie. He falls in love with Emma Stone.
She falls in love with him.
There's some tension between him and Rachel McAdams who he used to go out with and who
was ready to marry him, but the relationship fell apart.
It turns out her daughter is actually his daughter and not Woody's daughter.
And this causes trouble between Rachel McAdams and John Krasinski who are married.
Their son is convinced that Bradley Cooper is Lono and a Hawaiian deity, not Lono, the
Dizzy character, and not Lono, the hundred bullets character.
We're not Lono, the hundred bullets character.
But he is alone and the name Lono sounds like Lone, alone.
So I guess that's it.
And Emma Stone and him fall in love.
He reveals that he has two toes on one toe.
It's so gross.
And so this happened Afghanistan.
And he invented some kind of space, sound pulse thing that comes up later.
It turns that they guys do that gate ritual.
Great problem.
And from the X-Men show.
Somehow, the flesh back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just swinging around a, what are those calls? I know. Like, bolos? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just swinging around a, uh, uh, what are those calls?
I know. Like, bolos. Yeah. Sure.
Uh, not actually gateway from the X-Men.
Uh, then there's, they're going to launch this ship, which has a private satellite on
by Billy Bill, I was going to say Billy Crystal, Bill Murray.
It's owned by Billy Crystal to satellite dedicated to broadcasting nothing but Mickey
Mantle Yankees games. That's right.
Uh, they're going to launch this satellite.
Oh, I'm kidding.
But because Rachel McCannum's son managed to videotape a top secret classified cargo,
they find out there's also a nuke payload that's going to be on that satellite.
Yeah, this is an unexpected development.
And what seemed to be a low-key character study slash romance?
Now, I would love to watch a low key character study.
Or just Tom Hiddleston, just going to like, or Huddleston, just don't worry about it.
Walking around being low key, liking his everyday life.
I'm not going to ask him to rip his head off.
Low key's head, he needs that.
Not really.
He's an Ask Guardian God.
He'll just be a talking head like David Byrne.
Oh, now Dan's interested.
Yeah.
Something to work.
Stop making so much sense, Elliot.
I wish I could make any sense, but it's really the aloha screen flight. It's about to make
even less sense. Hello.
Who's a Chinese hacker that's trying to get into the system. Bradley Cooper, I guess,
is also a computer genius, so he defeats that hacker. And then he explodes the satellite
using the power of sound. He see the satellite launches and he sees that
Emastone is is sad and he promised the Hawaiians
that there'd be no weapons on that satellite.
And so he, he uses a sonic pulse made up of sound effects
from other Bill Murray movies and my other things.
To blow up the satellite, it may be the worst special effects
I've seen in a major Hollywood film in years.
Like these are sub sci-fi channel original effects.
What have you saw then in IMAX?
How upset would you have been at like?
Well, I'd be like, why is it low-hide in IMAX?
It really doesn't benefit from that.
You'd have been throwing your popcorn in all directions.
But it was like a collage.
Like Emma Stone's face is enormous.
Yeah, he blows it up with like a collage of noises
that included, as you say, the theme from Stripes, or there was
a brief snippet of Starman, David Bowie singing Starman.
And Juan Valdés, Coffee Commercial.
Yeah.
And I feel like, I don't know, Cameron Crowe is the sort of person that, like this means something,
you know, like this means something to him, like the idea that he's using pop culture to
blow up this nuke.
I guess so.
I mean, I can play into you guys while you're watching this.
It's like something out of a macross.
Regular macross.
One of the macrosses.
One of these, one of them in the on-genesis Evangelion's going on here.
The macrosses are one of them using music as weapons.
Yeah, and there's like a pop star, a robo construct that is fighting against the flying robot ships.
Yeah, sounds good.
Anyway, so I was mentioning you guys that there's something.
I'm really underselling it.
I get this a little bit in West Anderson movies and a little bit in Richard Lincolaine
and Cameroon movies where when a song starts playing the soundtrack, I can feel a little too
heavily, the hand of the director
going through his record collection looking for the right song and in this movie it was particularly
onerous to me. It usually doesn't bother me that much. You didn't mention Tarantino. Tarantino, I feel that too. But in that case, in that case, and like Wes Anderson and others, I feel like they usually do manage
to get the right match between song and scene. So it's like, okay, I'm feeling their hand in this, but.
And there are those two guys are also much more interesting visual.
Yes, and often the visuals and the music camera point each other in some way.
In this one, there was a lot more of like, and especially in, of like,
well, I'm listening to Cameron Crowe's record collection right now.
And in that scene, it felt like he may have put more time
and effort into putting that sound collage together
than the rest of the movie.
Yeah.
So Bradley Cooper blows it up.
Yeah, it all goes to blow it.
He tells Amistone, you've got too good a career,
like we shouldn't be together.
And she's sad, and he doesn't know if she's gonna keep
the straw hat that he bought her earlier in the movie.
In the, probably the best sequence of the movie.
Because she puts on a hat that covers her whole head.
But like she's one of those feudal Japanese monks
who's trying to create a distance between them
and the rest of us.
Well, it's a moment where like,
what's this face from,
from that Albert in the Jackyard game?
Oh, the most mouth.
Yeah, much mouth.
Was it much not as a weird Harold or Donald.
It's probably was a crazy Donald or strange Harold or weird.
They're all carried by a way.
Maybe more like more from Bizzouca.
Yeah, which one was that?
That's the one with the the turtle neck that goes up all over.
And then that was Bizzouca Joe.
No, Bizzouca Joe's not have a turtle neck.
But that was a good joke.
The most normal looking one of them.
I thought he was the one who was like,
I thought he was the one with like a black eye all the time.
He's got the eye patch.
Yeah, he's the normal one.
He's the normal one.
He's got an eye patch.
He's not all compared to the guy who's got a fucking
extra one.
Cause there's a good Joe takes place in the pie like a man.
I'll look at everyone's a pirate.
He's bigger.
He's more normal than the guy with like the Magnum Turtle neck.
The answer I'm not to draw attention to is disability.
But he has an eye back.
That's why he's always back flipping out of the panel.
That's right.
Well, you're talking to some sort of constantly
saying things that he shocked me so much
that I have to flip backwards.
You're just your feet and a little puff of dust.
You're talking to some sort of...
If you guys didn't say the many shocking things,
I wouldn't flip backwards so much.
And my neck would thank you.
Because I haven't had so many injuries. Yes, so much. And my neck would thank you. Because I had so many injuries.
Yes, so much.
So much as you could go lost.
He flipped over backwards onto a spike.
Utah, it wouldn't be surprised if I didn't know
who was who it was.
You try to somebody who took years to figure out
which one was Funky Winker being.
It's not the guy with the glasses.
It's the funkyest one.
None of them are funky.
If anything, he's the least funky one.
And don't even start me about how little of a winker bean he is.
That's the one that's always on the most winker.
That's the comic strip for band teachers, right?
Yeah, that's right.
We're going to put up on their doorway.
It's the comic strip that is either jokes about band class or characters being told they
have cancer and dealing with it.
There's like one crazy, funky winger bean where it's just a it. There's like one crazy funky winger bean
where it's just a single panel of crazy funky winger bean.
So I was savage, you've heard of it.
Of a character standing in the doorway
and then in the foreground, you have a character
like dead from an overdose of pills.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not in my Sunday funny, sir.
Yeah.
This is not fun.
This is not fun.
This is true and rose is rose. This is bad fucking at all.
Refunct this up.
So they blow up the satellite and they kind of break up.
Bradley Cooper finds out that Rachel McEttams and Woody are splitting apart but now they get
back together.
Woody and they then put it together.
It's made official that Bradley Cooper is the daughter's father.
He gets back with Emma Stone.
He's told by the military who were at first mad at him for blowing off this satellite that
it's true they found out there was going to be a nuke payload on it.
So it's going to all be kept hush hush, but he's in the clear.
Yeah, and they're arresting Bill Murray's arrested while standing on a beach.
And he gets back together with Emma Stone and says,
hey, when you come back from your tour duty,
I'm gonna be here.
And he also, and then in a curious final scene
which we were talking about,
could have been very emotionally affecting
in a different movie.
He kind of, he finds the woman he now,
the girl he now knows his daughter,
at Hula class, because it's Hawaii,
and kind of silently expresses to her that sheces his daughter at Hula class, because it's Hawaii, and kind of silently
expresses to her that she is his daughter, and she cries and runs out in a hug zoom and
then goes back to class.
And it's like-
It's a very sort of touching moment in a movie that's not very good.
It's similar to anyone who listened to our Golden Child episode.
And if you did, I apologize for the audio quality.
The scene between the monk and his daughter,
where they're kind of like talking about
how they like Eddie Murphy despite his faults
and he gives his blessing to their relationship.
This was like that, a much better kind of subtler scene
and a movie that doesn't really deserve it.
That is not earns that amount.
It's a scene in a movie where almost every other scene
has characters basically explaining who they are or
explaining what they think the other person is constantly and so there's they take anything that would be subtext and they make it text
So it makes this scene seem out of place at this point. Yeah, now for a movie that has two love triangles
Bill Murray, Alec Baldwin the the military, one of the characters of
Fighter pilot, no two of the characters.
And a subplot about a satellite that's going to have a nuke on it.
This nothing really happens in this movie, like very little happens.
And there's at least one scene with Danny McBride and a baby named Don that was very charming.
Yeah, that part was kind of nice.
But like there's otherwise there's like there's not it feels like
you're watching the first draft of a script where he's like I want to write a movie set in Hawaii
maybe I'll deal with the military. I'll just throw some ideas out there.
Weird overtones of like the you know I'll bring in stuff about religion like the indigenous
religions somehow. And then he wrote one draft of it.
And then like Rip Van Winkle, Cameron Crowe fell into a slumber for months.
And when he woke up, it was shooting, it was the first day of shooting.
And he's like, I guess we're shooting the first draft.
Yeah, but we should move on to final judgments on this movie, whether it's a good bad movie,
a bad bad movie or a movie we kind of liked.
I will say, this is a bad bad movie, I will say this for it.
Despite being a bad bad movie,
I could imagine a scenario in which you're hung over
on the couch, you turn on a low-ha,
you might find it very comforting.
Yeah, I mean, it's a movie that you could easily
pass in and out of sleep while watching,
and it would not detract from the effect of watching.
So that's my recommended way of watching it.
Get drunk the night before you're going to watch a low-haw.
Yeah.
A lot of preparation.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, it's a low-haw.
You got to make a make the day for it.
Throw on some some stretchy pants.
Oh, the stretchiest because you're Mr. Fantastic.
Shuffle me into the other room.
Yeah, you can be big people.
Fine. Fine the whole slice of pizza. Ituffle the other room. Yeah, you can be big. You can be big. Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine. Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. You do, you did it. Well, blondies in the other room making a giant ass sandwich.
What?
What?
What?
Do I have any hair?
Yeah.
Uh, yeah, the, it's funny because this isn't a very good movie.
But there are like, there are definitely scenes where you're reminded like, oh, Cameron
Crow knows how to make something at least much charming, or the actors are charming.
Like, there's moments where you're like, I could see how this would be enjoyable.
This could have been a good movie.
It does not earn the streaming, the very streaming services tagline for this movie,
which is, say hello to your new favorite movie.
I mean, that's the only person who would possibly say hello to it in that way
would be
What like someone who'd never seen a movie before and they're just like that's amazing This is my first one the first of a first and only I
Can't believe this technology exists camera and crow you're a genius because he thinks he invented it
Okay, so L.A. What do you think?
movie I kind of like no, I think it's I think it's a bad man movie, but it's like this plot, even, and except for the satellite
stuff.
This plot and these characters and this setting could have been a good movie.
There's the potential there, but it's not a good movie.
But I could see a movie that involves the relationship between people in the military
and other people used to be
in the military and those people and the natives of a and then habitants and habits of
the Hawaiians who are feel like they're they've lost something and they're living under
the control of another force, you know, of the American government that they not didn't
necessarily choose to be a part of.
I mean, it feels like, as you said, it feels like a first draft,
because every character could use a little bit more of a tweak.
Yeah.
And they could put a little more effort into playing up
like the location.
It feels like the location is there for when they need to inject
like a myth or something like that.
Or set dressing, put a laze on everybody.
People always wear laze, there's a lot of pineapples and backgrounds.
Music, a lot of Elvis and Hawaii type music.
A lot of Hawaiian music, a lot of ukulele.
And let me just say this, when it comes to music,
I am not the most accepting person.
There's a lot of music I don't like.
Hawaiian music is pretty high up there on the list of music I don't like.
Okay.
It's just a little too mellow for me.
It's all about land back.
There's a reason that there's no like Hawaiian metal
that I know of.
Yep.
Well, you're like a real Bradley Cooper type character then.
Oh, yeah.
Because he, no, but even he seems to like all the music.
Oh, yeah.
That's the other thing is it's one of those movies
where everyone falls under the spell of a place
but you don't feel that spell.
Yeah, what is this, Tremay?
Yeah, it's like, exactly like Tremay.
And everyone's like, no, Lens, Jazz, nothing better.
And you're watching it and you're like, this is boring.
Man, I'm sorry, I'm part of New Orleans today.
Yeah, they've been through enough.
So yeah, city suffering so much.
This delightful program is brought to you by Squarespace, beautiful websites for beautiful bread like mom's buns bakery.com.
It takes a lot of balls to name your business mom's buns.
I don't even feel 100% comfortable saying that out loud mom's buns.
Although mom's buns look great.
I gotta say.
Welcome to Oh No Ross and Carrie.
Ross.
Hey Carrie.
What do you think is creepier?
Okay.
You jump into a swimming pool.
All of a sudden, the water goes away.
And instead of water, there is the bones of your dead
ancestors or our show.
That's pretty tough because we've visited a live exorcism.
We joined the auto-templey or antists
where we had to worship and naked lady.
Oh, and we joined that Tony Alamo cult.
They were scary.
Super creepy.
We joined the theory society.
We tried penis enlargement or at least I did.
Oh boy, I tried breast enlargement.
We have basically done every creepy weird fringe thing
except for thousands
more, which we will get to if you listen to our show.
I'd still say the swimming pool of my ancestors bounce.
Well, now you know if people will listen.
I guess they shouldn't.
But if you want to, we're at maximum fun in this show called On A Rossing Carry.
Before we move on, I just want to thank everyone who came out to our live shows.
And came out at our live shows.
Sold out live shows.
It was great to see people in person afterwards hanging out at the bar.
Putting up with us.
Yeah.
And wealth.
Thank you to everyone who stopped by and said hi.
We had two great sold out audiences.
Everyone was super pumped and super hyped up.
And I think I heard somewhere that audiences in New York are the best. Oh wait, no,
I shouldn't say that now because no, we might go somewhere else someday. I want to thank some of
the folks that helped us. I want to thank Matt Carmen in the booth. I want to thank Jesus in the
booth. That was his name. Jesus. I'm not. What was his last name, Dan? I don't know. I mean, I don't think Matt Carman in the booth. I want to thank Jesus in the booth. That was his name, Jesus. I'm not.
Oh, this is last name, Dan.
I don't know.
I mean, I don't either.
All the people at the bell house.
I want to thank everyone at the bell house.
I want to thank Wendy Mays who contributed some equipment
and her pot.
Recording equipment.
Yeah, her podcast is called Pet Cinematary.
If you want to check that out.
I want to thank Ray and Steven for letting us use
their house to watch boobies and good care of us. Yeah, I may have forgotten anyone and if I do,
I have I apologize, but just thank everyone for making the shows such a delight. Thank you Dan.
Hey, thank you guys. Thank you Stuart and Dan. You're welcome.
Aloha. Hello. Goodbye. I want to just take a moment to give a birthday shout out. This was not
brought up at the minute at the meeting. This was requested. I had a request to give a
bulk birthday shout out to quote ultimate gin who had a birthday on one of the days of the live shows,
but she could not make it. So, happy birthday to her. I feel bad for pen ultimate gin. Yeah.
Yeah, it's always annoying that she's going to be. Couldn't make the cut. Yeah.
Living in the shadow. Yeah. But also, I just want to take a moment to say, hey, if you haven't checked out MaximumFun.org,
go over there and check out our podcast network.
Yeah.
Check out the fan page.
It's not just a network, Dan, it's a family.
It doesn't talk very much.
When you're here, you're family.
And here is MaximumFun.
Yeah, I don't think anyone else uses that slogan.
No other place claims that when you're there, your family.
Spend some time with some baby geniuses and pop rockets.
Yeah, some ladies to ladies.
Throw some shade.
Yeah, Jordan Jesse and go.
That's right.
Jordan Jesse play the ancient game of go every episode.
Sounds fascinating.
Oh, you learn a lot.
It's kind of stuff my dad tells me
But now let's move along to letters from listeners. You wrote them. We read them. That's the way it works
That's the way it works. That's the way it works. Dan says that's the way it works
You wrote them we read them. That's the way it works how does it work glad that you
asked as Dan said I'll refer you to his comments that you write them and then
we read them that's how it works that's how it works that's how it works that's
how it that's how it works if you guys picked up the slack, I wouldn't need it.
That's how it works.
That's how it works.
That's how it works.
That's how it works.
Thank you.
Letters is taped before a live studio audience of one cat
So speaking of birthdays
Speaking of birthdays Dan was talking about that's how it works
You're born and that's the day that you celebrate that's how it works
Anything you need to know about how something works, ask me and I'll sing it to you
Unless it's really complicated and made out of words that don't rhyme so well in which case
I don't know if I can help you so well, but I'll try
Till I die. That's how it works
So we're not gonna make a habit of doing this birthday shout-out. So I'm gonna do nip that in the bud
Take that bud and nip it.
That's how it works.
But since it happened that a couple of these came up at the same time, I thought, why the hell not?
Let's do these birthday things and then let's never do it again.
You mean there? You mean there?
Twins.
That's right.
So this goes, hello, dance to an Elliott. I'm right.
Hello, dance to an Elliott. I'm right. So this goes hello dance to an Elliott. I'm writing. Hello dance to an Elliott. I'm
writing. I'm writing to requests a song done for my wife, the lovely Michelle Sellers,
being so super popular and entertainment weekly certified now. What can I offer as an incident
of money, compliments, first born human children, inspiring butts. I have one of those convincing
Neil brain to release
his next film.
A bit about Michelle.
She's an avid floppin promoter of all things peaches and was recently taken to singing
Elliott inspired songs at random.
That's the only way to do it.
She is a particular dance band and supposed to do is all right.
Michelle is a feminist librarian at a small Southern college Zen Buddhist and
Cat lover. As a four-much in song suggests, she is quite real mad lives of attributes there.
She's quite the home cook, particularly skilled at sesh one food with various fun dishes.
She loves Kurosawa, French New Wave, and Law and Order and Equal Measure.
She is spending the weekend in sad morning due to missing your life shows.
Life shows.
Well, this actually says life shows.
You know what it meant.
So they're not our shows for life day.
Look, I'm like,
we didn't invite them out.
I'm like, well, I'm an anchor man.
If you put it in the prompter, I'll just read it.
So I guess that about covers the basis.
Hope is my, hope my mix of my
miss.
All right.
Do you pop by? I hope my miss of
axkin potential bribing and
reference musings have won you
over flopping yours.
Deventer last name with held.
So I don't know if the spare
moves you you can sing a song
or we could ignore this.
What was your name again? Michelle.
Michelle.
Sellers not related. Probably to Peter sellers. Another
sellers. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. Thanks for
listening. When you're cooking, Szechuan food and doing the
other things that the letter mentioned that I already forgot.
That's how it works. So happy birthday.
Michelle, next letter.
I'm writing in regard to the Great Switcheroo and your stint on the Adventures on podcast.
Sorry about that. That was a fabulous show.
I've been a D&D player.
You were really to go.
You were to go home.
It's a call back to a conversation we had backstage
from where the live show.
Joe Wilder, you and your sister can go.
From your favorite movie,
Jewel the Nile. No. So the
adventure zone podcast, that was a
fabulous show. I've been a D&D player
since the late 1970s. You remember
back in your born doxins, even
even working at TSR, writing and
editing Dungeons and Dragons products in the early 1990s.
The spaghetti restaurant.
And Stewart is one of the best DMs I've heard.
He kept the story and moving along, didn't get bogged down in too much dice rolling or
rules mechanics.
It was a pleasure to listen to.
It must have been quite a stretch for Elliot and Dan to take on such difficult roles
for the game.
Imagine Elliot stretching to play a character who finds pleasure in making short, terrible
ditties, and Dan losing himself in the role of his long suffering companion.
It boggles the mind.
Thanks again.
Who watches butts?
For all you do, Bill last name with help.
I just wanted to read that because I thought, Stuart, you deserve a little bit of crap.
Yeah, well, thank you.
Well, I appreciate it.
It was super fun to do. Thanks, Bill. It was was fun. Hope we get the chance to do it again someday. Yeah, we'll probably do it again soon. Yeah, you've been put right after tonight. What?
Just joking. JK JK sevens. is from Paul last name withheld and it's titled.
Sure, Vino.
It's titled, some anagram, some anagrams,
some anagrams of the flop house.
Look at this bee.
Some anagrams of the flop house.
Hot, foul sheep.
Ooh, plush feet.
I like that one.
Feel Tush poo.
Dan like that one. For Dan McCoy.
Can my cod? For Elliott Kalin. All oat tinkle and
Amel Kite toll. Hey, sometimes it's just accurate. So the cards lay.
If you if you fly anal kites, it will take a huge toll on you.
First to it, Wellington. So many letters.
It's a rule of the possibility.
First to it, Wellington. Townslet Triangle.
That's all. That's it for now. You're all beautiful and talented. Paul last day with help.
Thanks Paul. We think about that townslet triangle.
Sounds like a movie just waiting to be tarped.
But I'll never stick a kite in my butt again without thinking of that.
The last letter of the evening.
Oh, that's how it works.
That's how it works.
Dan says it's the last one.
And then it is.
That's how it works.
That's how it works.
He's going to read it.
We'll talk about it. Then this segment is over. That's how it works. That's how it works. He's gonna read it. We'll talk about it then this segment is over.
That's how it works.
It's from now on.
Now the breakdown part, we're spoken word.
That's how it works.
We're going to work it now.
I'll tell you how it works with the last letter.
This is from Loa.
Jesus Christ.
I just said it correctly one second ago. And then the
breakdown. It's how it works. Dan says the thing and we throw him off. That's how it works.
No, I'll ask the name withheld? I'm a 16 year old fan,
who recently had a few friends over
for a screening of a frequently recommended flop house.
I never thought it would happen to me,
but I had my friends over for a minute.
I'm gonna say right now, not age appropriate.
Yes.
This was of course the cinematic masterwork
that is Castle Freight.
Yep, yep, there you go.
I was learning so much about anatomy.
Three. Though I was disappointed by the lack of ding dong ripping that is Castle Freight. Yep, there you go. You guys learned so much about anatomy. Yeah.
Though I was disappointed by the lack of ding dong ripping,
I still-
You must have been going to the bathroom during that.
I still really enjoyed the film.
That is until my mom walked in during the scene, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha with a titular hero bites a prostitute's nipple off. Yeah. It was, as you can imagine, painfully awkward.
I mean, I feel like it's your fault
watching that movie when your mom's at home.
But even though my relationship with my mother is,
you're rush really damaged.
She showed up with like pizza bagels and sodas for everybody.
Kids, I have sunny D.N. the purple stuff.
Oh my god.
Oh, dear Lord, what's happening?
I still have began.
I have still.
You started castleak without me.
I still have begun planning a sequel.
Castle Freak takes New York,
in which the Castle Freak comes a Broadway sensation.
What would you guys want from a Castle Freak?
I'll tell you one show he's not appearing
in Poverty of the P. This.
That's right.
That's a Broadway show, right?
I'll tell you another show.
It was near Broadway. I'll tell you how to do it. It's near Broadway.
I'll tell you another show. He's Broadway Jason. Yeah, I'm smart enough so because it closed.
Yeah, yeah, or equis for the same for both reasons. So what would you like to see in a
cast of Freak's sequel with the question? Are we going to continue the idea that he is in a
Broadway show or I can like, you know, you know, you know,
the only boundaries is your imagination.
Okay.
That's how it works.
That's how it works.
So obviously because it is the 21st century,
we're gonna take Caspreque to cyberspace.
Now he died at the end of the movie.
Yep.
So his consciousness didn't.
It's been uploaded to the net.
So a local Italian hacker uploaded his consciousness to the internet in an attempt to break down,
I don't know, create the ultimate virus.
Okay.
Now is castle now an anagram?
It is, of course.
Castle wall is like a firewall that somebody used to protect their goodies and the internet. Yeah, why do you mean anagram?
I'm sorry. I mean acronym. Yeah, it's like computer assault syndrome terror
Life eraser freak perfect. Yeah, wait, where's the freak part come from? No, no the freak is not an act because he's a castle freak
Oh, yeah, so it's a freak castle. Yeah, He's even more of a freak now that he's dead.
Yeah, because he exited.
And freak is spelled pH.
Oh, no, get a phone freak.
Exactly.
Or because he's, I don't know, made a acid?
I don't know.
I don't know why that went.
That's part of it.
Because of his pH balance.
No, I guess.
He's no longer a base.
So anyway, he's uploading.
He's not a basic bitch. He's a phone freak.
He's certainly not a cast. So he's uploaded to the net and then some Italian console cowboy
comes along. I love it still Italy. Even though the internet is global. It's the worldwide web.
It's not just the world. It's Italian. That's a line from the movie. Oh my god. He's gone global.
That's a line from the movie. Oh my God, he's gone global.
It's a me Leonardo da Vinci. Oh my God. The castle fring is a gone globe. He's in a Maya computer that's made out of brilliant and old roustistics and rocks.
I made a Maya computer out of spiket.
It's a secret network. I made it out of a bobolly computer show.
A bobolly. A bobolly. Computer crossed. It's a secret net way. I made it out of a Bavali computer show. Bavali.
Bavali.
Bavali.
Computer crossed.
And so how do they defeat him?
Do they rip off like a digital ding dong?
I don't think throw them off a roof.
It still ends with them going into virtual reality cyberspace
and throwing them off a cliff.
They have his hard drive and throw them off a roof.
Come on.
Yeah, they throw the computer off a roof.
It's just like that scene we always watched at the show
where Mark Harmon walks in on what NCIS
and just unplugged the computer to stop hackers.
They're only after, so anyone who hasn't seen this,
you've probably seen it.
This is a clip we used to watch all the time
of the Daily Show, an episode of NCIS
where their science computer lab is being hacked into, and the hacker character,
you know, she's like a goth hacker
because she's got like a nose ring and dyed black hair.
Big tails and a choker.
And she probably listens to a lot of like,
what, I don't even know, like a...
Like five finger deathbunch and whatnot.
Yeah, that kind of stuff.
Yeah, like she goes to the warp tour a lot, but the she's
semi-professional.
Every weekend she's in the warp tour.
To be more than once, he's been there. And she's like, I can't type fast enough, I can't
type fast enough, either. The hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack,
hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack,
hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack,
hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack,
hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack,
hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack,
hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack,
hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, typing on the same keyboard as if that will make it go faster. Like, if they're playing heart and soul on the piano.
Or like typing is the same as like pushing a car that's not working.
So you're like, well, the two of us together will be stronger.
And they can't type on this keyboard together fast enough.
And so Mark Harmon walks over and unplugs the computer and he's like problem solved
because NCIS is a show for old people who don't know how computers work. It's such a great scene.
So funny.
Yeah.
So much wrong with it.
Problem solved.
Okay.
So before we unplug this computer.
Consider this freak castled.
Starting Nathan Fillion.
That's how it works.
So now it's time for the final segment of the evening or day.
Whenever you're listening to this thing.
Or life if you're dying.
That's right. If you're dying, please take these out and say goodbye to your shoulder.
I need to say a live long enough to finish the Aloha episode.
I know what movies they like.
Need to find out what the sting is after the theme song at the end.
Are there any bloops?
Gotta hear them bloop must get to the bloops.
That's like something's trying to bloop.
It's like the line between bloops and boops.
We have fun here sometimes. I'm sorry, Kenny. No, it's not.
I was almost ever time.
It's time for the bloops.
So, yeah, this is where we recommend movies that we saw.
I'm sorry you have one bloop to live.
Are you getting a good bloop?
This is where we recommend movies.
Finish everything on my bloop at
list. That we liked in contrast to a movie like Aloha. Hello. That we loved. I'll
start. I watched the movie. It's such a beautiful day. The Don Hertzfeldt animated film.
It's available on Netflix streaming.
You can watch it in a mere hour of your time.
And I recommend it.
Even though it's an hour and a half long.
It's an animated film that, I mean, Don Hertzfeldt,
you know, has done a bunch of animated shorts,
but this is one of his long pieces.
He does it in a sort of a stick figure-y style that's deceptively simple.
He's a really great animator, but he uses on top of the stick figure animations, the pencil
animations, a lot of collage, a lot of different effects. He puts in some live action shots as well.
And it's about a character.
I guess what you're saying is he puts the ooh in cartoon.
I don't know if I would say that.
You said it, dude.
I'm quoting you.
Now I feel ashamed.
It's right here in Animation Age magazine.
It's on the cartoon brew website.
Okay, puts the ooo in cartoon.
What is about a character called Bill who,
it starts out as a bunch of
unconventional. His name is Bill who um,
oh god.
Anyway, I want to interrupt him.
It starts out as a bunch of
unconventional vignettes and then it
slowly becomes a story of how this character has
a sort of unspecified terminal disease
that means that he starts having hallucinations
and then the movie sort of tracks his, the progression of this disease, tracks flashbacks
into his past and his family history and how they've had a crazy unlucky time and then it flashes forward, not flash
forward, but it tracks bills.
Future how the disease progresses and how they're sort of a transcendent ending to it all.
It's all about death and coming to terms with death and coming to terms with aging, but it's also funny and it pushes the boundaries of cartooning and it's
sad and sort of beautiful and it all happens.
As I said in an hour, so I highly recommend you watch Don Hardsfeld's It's such a beautiful day.
And that's my recommendation.
Sounds good.
Let's do it in an extra shot in an extra shot.
Sure I'll go next.
I'm gonna recommend a movie.
I think you guys already seen,
but haven't recommended it.
It's called a low, huh?
I'm gonna record, hello.
That's how it works.
It's how it works.
I'm gonna recommend a movie called Cicario.
Cicario is a movie.
It's about aic car. Yo, let me see if I can pronounce this name properly
I was stupid and I loved it
Let me see if I can pronounce this name properly Emily blunt isn't it. Oh, okay. Oh, was that a switch him up?
Yep, because it's directed by Denny Villeneuve
Was that a switch them up? Yep, because it's directed by Danie Villanueve
Who directed prisoners and enemy and
Went Harry and Matt Sally, right probably that's right now
Sicario's like those movies and that it's got atmosphere for days. It's got some heavy foreboding soundtrack
It's got some nice long slow shots. There's a lot of shadows.
It's really tense.
It's all about building that tension man.
And it's about the drug war along the Texas
and the Arizona border along Mexico.
And the story focuses on Emily Blunt who plays,
I believe an FBI agent, I don't know.
But she gets kind of wrapped up in...
I don't know, I didn't see the movie.
Yeah, you're doing a report, a score report on it.
So, Sikario is the story of a sicker, that...
No, but it says FBI agent in IMB be so she she gets kind of wrapped up in this
investigation with some
Members of a it seemingly unknown US government
Organization to kind of take on the Mexican cartels and
On me to take on me on mm-hmm. I'll be gone.
And she turns into a tune in your recommendation.
Uh, so,
So,
I'm going to recommend a movie that I originally planned to recommend
at one of our live shows,
but we didn't do recommendations for those.
We had watched the film Entourage,
and I decided to recommend a movie about a slightly more likable group of young people than the
Entourage group, which is a class of 1984, which is one of the classic punk movies, and
that is a movie about how punk teens are a menace who will rape and kill people, but the movie ends
up being such an anti-social, like enjoyable piece of trash, that it's kind of more punk
than they meant it to be.
That's not a surprise.
It's directed by Mark Lester, who you know best as the director of Commando.
Another movie that is such trash that it becomes brilliant, and it stars a whole slew
of stars, Timothy Van Patten,
Roddy McDowell, Michael J. Fox,
before he put the J in his name,
when he was just Michael Fox.
And it's all about how these kids in the 80s
with their punk music and their crazy haircuts
are gonna start acting up,
swearing at teachers and running drug rings
and prostitution rings out of the backs of my clubs
and killing people.
And it's a super crazy enjoy movie,
except for a sexual assault scene that I did not care for,
that I watched the unreasonably having not seen it
in a long time and I'd forgotten about this scene somehow.
And I did not like that part.
That was unnecessary, but otherwise,
it's if you wanted to see a band
teacher, this is for funky winker being fans out there. You want to see a band teacher?
A funky. Get his life ruined by a bunch of crazy punk teens who have the greatest word robes,
maybe in the history of film. And then he gets revenge on them by killing all of them.
Then, uh, this is the movie for you, Class of 1984, theme song by Alice Cooper.
All right. Well, he sang it. He didn't write it. All right. Jesus.
Jump down my throat.
Yeah, you're not the cat from Tales from the Dark Side, the movie.
Yeah. I would never. And Dan's not Buster Poindexter. He has.
Star of Free Jack. Yes. Supporting character.
Free Jack.
He's not even the second lead from free Jack.
Who is it, Mick Jagster?
Yeah.
You're better off calling him the star of Scrooge.
He's also not the star of.
He just plays the, he plays the cat, the main character.
He's the next character.
Goes to the past.
Now, how much does the Jack cost to that movie?
Uh, I don't know, probably
$25. Really? Or best off?
Because it's, uh, it's a GMO free. Yeah.
Free range jack. Yeah. Free range, grass fed jack. It's healthier than
where Jack. Which do not worry. What if Mick Jagger pulled Kangaroo Jack from the past and free Jack?
How disappointed would he be when he's like, I thought you were going to be a rap in
Kangaroo, but you're just a regular kangaroo.
That was a dream sequence or something.
Yeah.
Can't get no satisfaction under your thumb.
Roo.
Perfect.
Keep going. How many other songs do you know? The beast of burden in this case would be. Perfect. Keep going. Have any other songs you'd love to sound?
The Beast of Bird in this case would be a kangaroo, of course.
Yeah.
I'm just waiting for a friend in Kangaroo jazz.
Wild kangaroos can hang me away.
Yeah, exactly.
A voodoo lounge, a deep-rooted kangaroo.
The brown of the kangaroos, a pelt.
And the sweetness of the pouch.
So I keep all their treats treats other rolling stone songs.
Uh, you got us simply for the kangaroo.
Uh, painted, painted Jack.
It's called Kangaroo Jack, painted Jack.
Painted.
Because the famous kangaroo scrotum, which they turned into what bagpipes.
They're famous song.
Can't you hear me, Jack?
All right.
And of course, who could forget?
Dan, give me a Jack Zuckerblues.
There you go.
The unreleased Stone Song.
Not jumping, Jack Flash.
Oh, damn it.
Shit.
Oh, snap.
Oh, that's fine on the ground.
And you walked right past it.
I'm not seeing it.
I'm picking up panties and there's a gold bar sit right in front of me.
Oh, Stewart, that's how it works.
That's how it works.
So, but anyway, for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy.
I've been Stewart Wellington.
I'm Elliott Kaelin and that's the end of the show we say our names and say goodbye and that's how it works a low-ha
Hello
Those bloopers are going to the poopers to
Tonight on pooper bloopers your favorite collection video of bloopers of people failing to use the toilet properly.
Why was a camera on them?
Who knows?
But that's not a toilet.
That's a sink.
Goi.
Those are kids.
Those are normal adults.
What's going on?
This guy just can't seem to get the paper to his anus.
Let's watch what happens.
Life.
It's called, uh,
boobers and rectical jokes.
The Sergio Argona's cartoons are disgusting.
It craps.
Boopers.
It craps.
Boopers and rectical jokes.
Uh, okay. Maximumfund.org Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? We're here for you. We're Pop Rocket. I am Guy Brannum. I'm a comedian. I'm Winter Mitchell. I call myself a digital strategist.
I'm all of a wing, academic and disc junkie.
Margaret Woppler, Shay Sweet, as General East.
Eee!
And we watch, listen to and read everything so that you don't have to.
And then we tell you about all the things that you'll love to love.
Find us in iTunes or wherever you download podcasts.
Pop Rocket.
Everyone's way from maximumfund.org.
Find us in iTunes or wherever you download podcasts.
All-procket.
Everyone say from maximumfund.org.