The Flop House - Ep. #196 - Aloha

Episode Date: January 23, 2016

Will Cameron Crowe ever rebound from his Elizabethtown slump? Probably not with the even-worse Aloha. Meanwhile, Dan calls out famed painter Leonardo Da Vinci, Elliott can't remember the rich Bazooka ...Joe cast of characters, and Stu engages in something that's definitely a bit. Movies recommended in this episode: It's Such a Beautiful DaySicarioClass of 1984

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 On this episode we discuss Aloha. Hello. Goodbye. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hello, I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaylin coming to you live on tape. That's not true. Okay, well there you go. I'm not dead. Lynn coming to you live on tape true. Okay. Well, there you go. I'm not dead yet. Oh, unless when you're listening to this I'll have died already. I'm fine. My killer. Okay. All right. It's Stewart. Oh, that was easy. It was me. I mean, why'd you do it? Stu? What'd you do it? Well, it all goes back to the tail of the missing diamond
Starting point is 00:01:07 Not the most original imaginative name for the tail, I guess it's an old story was the first time a diamond was missing Every other lemon story It was just missing it was missing like you dropped on the floor and someone vacuumed it up This was before floors existed. So I just fell to the center of the earth. A dawn of time. We just kept zooming back and forth in the earth and finally, it's settled in the floor.
Starting point is 00:01:33 I just want to say, Mr. Wellington, you say this was the dawn of time, but it was a diamond. Wouldn't it take millions of years to turn anything into a diamond? So how could there be one at the dawn of time? I don't know. I think I saw a magman running around with it. Oh, that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:01:49 That makes sense. You're probably right. Okay. One more question. Uh, what? It's in the center of the area. That's where the magma men went. I like that.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Flambos famous catfish. One more question. What? One more question. Uh, murderous, eh? What? What? Case closed. That's One more question. Murderous, I what? What?
Starting point is 00:02:06 Case closed. That's what I thought. Take away my voice. We can't use that in court. Is it a sergeant? Yeah, sergeant in the tent. I didn't know that. I was lieutenant, lieutenant in the tent in the club.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Oh, I apologize. Yeah, that got me busted down. Yeah, that got me way too many. It's a shame. Busted makes me feel good. Okay, I say. So Dan, what are we doing in the flop house? Yeah, the bus to them down. Yeah, they got a new way to make me feel good. What can I say? So Dan, what are we doing the fly pass? This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. And tonight we watch the movie.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Did we? I'm still not quite sure that we did. Aloha. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. A hoi. A hoi. A hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a hoi, a ho He's not a crusty old salt like most sea cat. That was very friendly and open. If anything, a little too open. Yeah, he's a soft silky salt. He keeps telling me, he keeps asking me if I want to come down to the docks and scrape
Starting point is 00:03:13 off some barnacles and I get creeped out. I think he's talking literally, but I don't know. Nobody knows, because no one's ever taken him up on the offer. He's got the most barnacle and crusted ship on the dock. Some say there's a ship beneath all them barnacles. The weird thing, the dock that is photos tied up to? Doc Hollywood. No, the first time as a kid that I ever saw an erotic cake.
Starting point is 00:03:37 It was Doc Hollywood. Yeah, because they give him like a, it's like a boob shaped cake or something because he's a plastic surgeon. Yeah. Is his last name Hollywood? It has to be And his first name is Doc. He's not a doctor. Yeah, it's like the door Not door. Oh, they said door. Yeah. I probably did. I still don't understand why I don't know if you've noticed this But I have a habit of mispronounce it. I don't know if you've noticed this but I have a mispronouncement thing. I don't believe that. Some really slightly sometimes
Starting point is 00:04:07 drastically old all the way McLeod. So we watched a little. Hello. Hello. This is what D'Areal does the first time. It's a movie by Cameron Crow. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He have say anything the crow the one camera in first-bular's day off yeah uh... but else guy he did uh... we bought a zoo we sold a zoo why did we have a zoo anyway
Starting point is 00:04:36 and then the tree quall which is the third movie in the series which was called remember we had that zoo that was weird it was weird the movie rate it off he also he also made for hardcore nudity Remember when we had that zoo? That was weird. It was weird. The movie, right at all. He also made for hardcore nudity. He made a movie called Say Anything, the Elliot Kalen story.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Oh, you got me. And he wrote Fast Times at Rigmont, Hig. And I almost famous. Almost famous, fam. Mo famous. Almost famous. Fam moves. Almost from house. A lot of mouse that went on tour with a rock band. That rock band, the modest mouse. Almost went on the tour.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Yeah, he was turned away at the border. Yeah, because he's the border of what? Castlevania. Yeah, that's right. So, camera. The canterals, come on. Canterals, yeah. So, so the can't come on. Yeah, it's girls. Yeah. So Cameron Crows made a lot of movies. Yeah, he's, uh, well, how does it seem like he could do no wrong up until the
Starting point is 00:05:33 Elizabeth town, certain points. Yeah, Elizabeth town was that point was Elizabeth town. Did he do? I get him mixed up with Richard Linklater sometimes. Yeah, and I started thinking that Cameron Crows made School of Rock and the Newton boys. He didn't make those Richard Linklater sometimes. And I started thinking that Cameron Crowe made School of Rock and the Newton boys, he didn't make those. Richard Linklater made those. Yeah, do you ever think that Cameron Crowe made a scanner darkly or waking life?
Starting point is 00:05:53 Yeah, I do, I do indeed. And sometimes I think he made Slacker. And sometimes I think he made Boyhood. And sometimes I think he made Pie, which is a Darren Arnorski movie. I'm not even a Richard Linklater movie. Sometimes I think he made pie, which is a Darren Arnorski movie. Not even a rich or a link letter movie. Sometimes I think you made it. Is it because they all have really striking uses of popular music?
Starting point is 00:06:13 I think that's part of it. I think Richard Linklater and Cameron Crowe also do a certain type of film that I'm going to call character focused and necessarily plot focused. And in this case of Aloha, I think that's how Cameron Crowe went, a little too far astray. There's not a lot of plot in this movie. And then suddenly at the end, there's a lot of plot. And the characters are not particularly interesting.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Well, here's something that I'm gonna admit upfront. Final judgments, I didn't like it, Dan. No, I'm just gonna allow, what do you do? I'm gonna admit upfront that, you know, contrary to what you may believe, this may shock the average flop house listener, but we are not. We're a first time listener. We are not paying full attention to these movies. We pay, here's the thing, I feel like it's up to the movie to grab our attention and engage
Starting point is 00:07:00 us. And this movie from the first moments failed to do that. Yeah, but I would. The movie didn't take away phone or day in's cat that was sitting on my lap. But the reason I bring this up is because I feel like most movies we watch are bad in a way that they're still easy to follow. Sure. Like they're so simple-minded that we can just, you know, we know what's happening because we've seen movies before.
Starting point is 00:07:24 This movie is, the problem with it is it's so dialogue-driven, it's all just banter. And if you miss some of that banter, you're kind of like, what, what, why is, who, why is that? Visually, there's not a lot of markers as to what's going on at any point. Yeah, and, but even dialogue was, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Starting point is 00:07:45 No, and even dialogue wise, it's weak. Like, they don't explain things. Why don't you just keep describing their personalities to each other over and over? The characters do a lot of exactly explaining their personalities without managing to really explain who they are or what they're doing at the same time. Let's, should we get into the plow-dime on it?
Starting point is 00:08:01 Yeah, let's get into the meat of these potatoes. Yeah. Because we, they're what, these potatoes. Because they're what jacket potatoes. We got in Scotland and they started hollowed them out and filled them with meat. That's right. That sounds delicious. They do that. Oh, it's great. It's actually fantastic.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Let's hurry this up so I can go get some jacket potatoes. You can go in the Edinburgh, get some jacket potatoes. Yeah, it's got you to wash it down. Is that the same thing? Yeah, the stuff. Not really. I mean, like an egg inase and sausage incase and fried. That sounds delicious. Let's, yeah, let's wrap this up.
Starting point is 00:08:30 I've long said Scotland has maybe the best cuisine of any country. It's all fried meat. People are largely alone in there. The Scott's agree with me. That's why they have the highest rate of heart disease in Europe. But anyway, science fact, sad really. This movie is about characters, interesting characters like Bradley Cooper, hey, remember him from limitless and what Valentine's Day.
Starting point is 00:08:54 My little eye. What is that? That's right, that's what most people know. He's in my little eye where he plays a creepo. I don't remember that movie. Okay, yeah. Bradley Cooper from the 18. He was in that though. That was true. That was remember that movie. Okay, yeah. Bradley Cooper from the 18. He was in that though.
Starting point is 00:09:06 That was true. That was a big movie. I'm just saying that like, I, you know, I feel like this, like, when I'm American summer, you know, we're first day class from whatever that show was. It was in a TV show that he was in. Was it one? He was.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Yeah, it was. When in my heart for like a silver lining's playbook or something or even like a gardens of the galaxy. You wouldn't, you know, you wouldn't go for some of these. It wasn't garden. He's rocking. He's in the suit. The first suit.
Starting point is 00:09:31 He's in the suit. He's in the CGI first suit. I forgot that he did the voice rocket raccoon. What about Rocky raccoon? Did he do that voice? Or is that Paul McCartney? He probably could, man. He's a Renaissance man.
Starting point is 00:09:43 He is a, he is a Renaissance raccoon. He's. He's a Renaissance man. He is a Renaissance raccoon. He's a raccoon a-sons man. Just like Leonardo da Rodins. He's a time-through of new with Renaissance. Yeah, and they were like, you're a raccoon, what? We don't even know raccoons are. That's a new world animal.
Starting point is 00:09:55 We haven't discovered you yet. And he was like, yes, you have. It was 1492, dudes. Look at my sketchbooks filled with drawings of my elaborate bone structure. For was that just machines that won't work? Yeah. Yeah, take that Leonardo da Vinci.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Yeah, dummy. Good job, dummy, with your flying machines. That's not how it works. Why don't you fucking figure out the Bernoulli principle and maybe it'll get close to you, dumbass. I mean, did he, is that a thing you figured out? No, I'm just, no, I'm saying that if he did, maybe I don't know. Oh, okay. He's got to fucking study the structure of Bird's Wings.
Starting point is 00:10:31 You jackass. Fuck you. Wow. Damn. Damn, calm down, damn, I got it. Elliot, hold him back. Yeah, literally. I got a lot of, I got a lot of,
Starting point is 00:10:41 Leo, Leo, Leonardo, just go home. The listeners can't see this, but Leonardo David G is in the core right now, who are like, what, what, Leonardo, just go home. The listeners can't see this, but Leonardo da Vinci is in the corner right now going like, what, what did I do? What's the problem with it being, yeah? Dan, I thought we were a pals. That's why I come up out of here. You recorded a podcast.
Starting point is 00:10:54 You go the fuck away, like, should I not make them out of wood, winning a beat song for you? No, please make that and leave it here. It's called Vitruvian Pies. All right, ba, ba, ba, I, but I'm invented that a song. You know that because I'm a renaissance man. Hey, I make it a, I make a painting for you. You're real nice. And that's the latest. You smile a little bit. You not know why. So that's how you love this painting. That's how we
Starting point is 00:11:23 sold the Mona Lisa. Michael Ains Angel is like, I tell you what, this is a ceiling look at two blank. I bought a two big guys, one with a beard, one no beard, no clothes. No, Michael Angel, we just want a blue, like a sky blue ceiling. I use that, okay, you're gonna not gonna blue. I'm gonna blue in it, but a lot of other things,
Starting point is 00:11:41 hey, that's a good boss. I illustrate a bunch of Bible things for you. Da da da da da da da da da. Leonardo says he invented that song. I invented that song. Michael Andrew, are you the guy who made that statue? That guy with his dick that fell off. That's dick that fell off.
Starting point is 00:11:55 It was called the Casada Freak, the statue. Anyway, dudes, I gotta go to a party. Come on, whoopie. You know, da da da da da da. A lot of peopleopie. You know? That, that, that, that. A lot of people don't know that Michelangelo and Ninja Turtles personality was based on Michelangelo the artist. It's amazing you finished the Sistine Chapel.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Hey, I call him a bunga for you, huh? Yeah, that's a good rest, Flanner. Anyway, so. I think he painted that whole ceiling using nonchaku. So, Bradley Cooper, he is with, he used to be at the military. Now he's a contractor for a billionaire played by Bill Murray. He has been sent to Hawaii where he is, where he was before and he knows people there. In fact, his old flame Rachel McAdams, who is now married to John Presentse, he playing
Starting point is 00:12:42 the part of Woody, the Air Force pilot. Not from Toy Story. Not Woody from Toy Story. It's a different Woody. It's not Woody from Cheers. It's not Woody, like Woodrow Wilson being called that by his friends. It's just a different guy named Woody. And he's like, he got into, like, it's alluded to,
Starting point is 00:12:58 he got into some bad shit in Afghanistan. I mean, he talks about it later on. Yeah, but like, I talked about it up front that he got injured. He got injured Yeah, there's a voice over where he explains how he got injured in the leg. This injury doesn't really seem to slow him down And he kind of forgets about it for most of the movie. Yeah, but also like it seems like what happened to him I mean, I probably missed something so I didn't want to talk to with too much authority But it just seems like the bad thing that happened to him was just that like oh a bomb went off and he got in well
Starting point is 00:13:23 But also and his and he lost the love of his life. Rachel McHatton. And it also his life feels seems like even though he has a. It was also tied in with him being like what more like questionable because he was skimming money off the top of his employer. Yes, so I don't remember if we find out at the beginning, but later on he talks about how he was stealing money from. That'd be tough for you to reveal upfront and have sympathy for a million bucks.
Starting point is 00:13:46 He's got all these babes on his hands. I could at least two, but I'd kinda have. That's all, that's all I have. He'll lay us two hands. Yeah, he is a tiny babes on a hand. He is a rare disorder where sexy babes are growing out of his hands. They're like a tiny ballerina from a racer head.
Starting point is 00:14:00 They just live on his hands. I guess you could call her a ballerina. I'd call her like a radiator fairy. Yeah, you know, yeah, she's with big cheeks. She's an entertainer. Let's call her that. In heaven, everything is fine, okay. That's right.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Everything is great. What did you say to that song? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I know everything is fine, because you got your good things, and I've got mine. It's a haunting song. Anyway, that's a better movie.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Can we talk about a racer head? Sure. That's in some ways of more romantic and affecting movie than that. David Lynch never did tell us how he did that baby effect. Oh, he mutilated a baby. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that baby Rope to be Bradley Cooper, which brings us to a low-ha so hello. He's Still it's been so he's come to he's
Starting point is 00:14:45 We're talking about it. He's bringing just bring it back. I'll bring it back. It's got a full tank when you bring it back Feel the whole tank of yux juice He has come back to Hawaii too. Oh come. They haven't marketed a kids drink called a yux juice It's you got to take that idea and run with it. Mm-hmm all the way to the garbage can Yeah, that's what the package is called, the garbage can. The package that you get yolks juice out of. It's like a shaped like a garbage can that you stick a straw in through the top. And then the stuff leaks out the bottom. Oh, like a real garbage.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Okay. So Bradley Cooper is there. And then they get us a slurpen above the floor. Or off their hands. The air ball. So Bill Murray is building up, is, he is a billionaire who is launching, wants to launch a satellite to space,
Starting point is 00:15:35 a private satellite from a Hawaiian Air Force base. I think it's, or maybe it's in the, in the water or something. And he's building a pathway between two, or a gate between two bases. And Bradley Cooper's whole job is to be there to facilitate getting real Hawaiians to do a religious ceremony to bless this gateway. Because it seems like there's maybe some ancestral burial ground.
Starting point is 00:16:02 There's some bones or something. The bones that have to be moved to be located. They have to be located. So they can build their stargate. That's right. Is that what that's made out of bones? No, but they're building a stargate.
Starting point is 00:16:14 No, they're building literally a gate. It's not a stargate. But they're talking about building a gate and then they shoot something into space. But not through the gate. You can still call it that though. Although if you can call something a stargate, why wouldn't you call it a stargate? If you go into Madrid, there's a place called the Puerto del Sol.
Starting point is 00:16:33 That's true, and the sun is not literally coming through that. Exactly. You don't travel through a magical portal and get to the sun, but you can call it that if you want. I will say that they shouldn't need a stargate, because like 2001's monolith, my god, this movie's full of stars. Bradley Cooper and the stone, Rachel McAdams. Johnny presents the Alec Broadwin, Danny McBride, Bill Murray, probably the ghost of Mickey Rooney is somewhere around there, you know. Yeah, this is, I was saying we want to spend
Starting point is 00:17:04 eternity in Hawaii. This is probably the most wasteful. Because that's what this movie feels like. The most waste of cast I've seen in a film. Well, I don't know. What about like a movie where they're on drugs a lot of the time? They'd be a pretty wasted cast. Right.
Starting point is 00:17:17 All right. Like what like the last movie or something? Yeah, like Dennis Hopper's the last movie. All right, sure. But yeah, I know this is a movie where you're like, oh, I like that person. That's not gonna help me. That's not gonna help me enjoy this movie.
Starting point is 00:17:30 No, you're hoping that their charm will just carry you through that. Yeah, the movie is like, it works for a very short period of time in some cases. I would say that this movie is roughly similar to bobbing in the ocean with no land around you on which to gain purchase. And every now and then, I like a driftwood. Piece of driftwood in the form of no land around you on which to gain purchase and every now and then a like a driftwood Piece of driftwood in the form of like an Emma Stone or a Bill Murray floats by and you can kind of like briefly scramble onto it
Starting point is 00:17:52 It's catch your breath and then it slips out from under you and you fall into the sea again And you just tread in water trying to figure out what the hell is going on in this movie So rally coopers there to arrange this religious ceremony. He sees his ex-Rage with Adams, his married to Woody. And she's still banging. And the, I guess, military liaison that's attached to him to kind of guide him through his Emma Stone, who mentions many times that she is a quarter Hawaiian and a quarter Chinese.
Starting point is 00:18:18 And it's something that... And 100% Caucasian. Yeah, I mean, in real life, yeah. She, even at one point, she mentions that she's a quarter, how wide a quarter Chinese and a half Swedish or Swiss. And even that kind of implies like, but of course, the superior genes one out, and I look blonde and white. There's a very, there's like, there was a lot of negative publicity when the
Starting point is 00:18:41 movie came out about casting a clearly Caucasian actress to be a half Asian Hawaiian character. And I found that it bothered me in that the fact that she doesn't look Hawaiian or Asian should be more of her character than it is. Like she seems to be pretty much at peace with how she looks. And another thing that's weird is that she's presented on the first scene as the kind of like all business, military discipline, like this is the person who's no nonsense. And then every other scene after that, she's like super chill, just wants to kick back.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Like it's like the movie, it's like in between shooting scenes, she and Cameron Crowe talked about the character and changed their conception of it, but didn't do any to address that. Now can I say a little something about, is it gonna get us in trouble? Yes, now can I say a little something about Cameron Crowe and you don't care who men and women relationships
Starting point is 00:19:41 in his movies? Yeah, because I believe that it was after Elizabeth Town, and maybe wrong, that Nathan Raven, our friend Nathan Raven coined the phrase manic pixie dream girl. I thought, I thought, yeah. Is it off of that? Elizabeth Town, or was it, maybe it was Elizabeth Town?
Starting point is 00:19:58 No, I think it was Elizabeth Town. And the thing about the classic manic pixie dream girl is that they have, have just look it up But they've got no we're not gonna do that. I'm not even gonna edit this if I find out I'm wrong But the thing about the classic Maddoxie dream girl is she does not have any inner inner life of her own She's there to help the male protagonist like self-actual She's like the Virgil to his Dante. Yeah. Just to clasp this shit for a moment.
Starting point is 00:20:27 Yeah. And like that was totally true in Elizabeth Town. Like she's like, oh, this is a crazy, like, ladies coming in and she's going to fix this broken guy. And it's also true. It sure wasn't Garden State. It could be Garden State. Oh.
Starting point is 00:20:40 It could be Garden State. Oh, I'm in Garden State. Otherwise known as Elizabeth Sound Mark I. No, I'm thinking, State. Otherwise known as Elizabeth Sound Mark I. No, thinking, yeah. No, thank you. Leonardo da Vinci come back in. Also known as, yeah, Elizabeth town directed by Zach Braff. Yeah, but um,
Starting point is 00:20:55 except Garden State came first. Yeah, but so this, this also first and the movie he shot was Garden State. This also shot first. Con shot. Shot's part first. That would have been a great title hot shots considering um so this is sitting in the direction the series of it but this is definitely
Starting point is 00:21:12 in that they added a part do this is definitely in that vein and that we like Bradley Cooper is introduced to us like the movie just like basically tells us this is a broken man it doesn't never seems broken I mean tells us says he is yeah she tells him there's a broken man. It doesn't matter what he never seems broken. I mean, he says he is. She tells him there's a scene where she's like, you're so cynical. And then she earlier, she just talking about him and somebody else knew over here. And she's like, he's like this wounded guy.
Starting point is 00:21:33 So it was such a wreck. And you're like, I have not seen that in him. Like the second scene in the movie is her reporting to somebody and he's listening in. And she's basically just describing his character and he's like, what? But he's, she might as well be like, he's so sexily broken. Yeah, I know the brokenness in it is something that I've got to fix with my vagina.
Starting point is 00:21:56 And her, I don't know, zest for life. Yeah. She has a lot of zest. She's obsessed, like, clean. But, but I mean, like, is just a, like this is. And here's the thing, Bradley Cooper, Ken Playbroken Characters, Silver Lining's Playbook, he does a very good job in that.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Yeah, but in this, he does not. I feel like both of the characters have a little more going on, but. We should get a cane. Yeah, I mean, he should have the cane. My cocaine. That like, you know? Hello, Bradley.
Starting point is 00:22:24 You know, you're not Bradley. Would you as a character with real problems when you don't sleep to have any of you. You could just even like grimace every now and then, you know. Hey guys, it's me Bradley Cooper. Michael came. Why won't you let me lean on your buddy? That's right Perfect, wait, are you still doing Michael gain out? No, no, you're your favorite. I love billion dollar brain. I just wanted it I wanted to get back my original point because I actually have like I think I'm and like an interesting point about Okay, let's do it. Let's let's not be silly for a moment This sorry, sorry, okay this moment. But like this character in a stunt place doesn't have like really much agency herself
Starting point is 00:23:07 as charming as she is. She's just there to like fix the main character. And Cameron Crowe has done more interesting love stories in the past. Sure. I think that Jeremy Guire works better than this. Like this story. The story of a super successful agent
Starting point is 00:23:20 who continues to be successful and then gets a girl. Yeah, but he shows him the money. To some degree, like that's still a woman there who's there to fix a broken man, but it was also not particularly broken. But Tom Cruise is better in that one at expressing that he's unhappy at least. Yeah. And that movie works a little better because we spend a little more time with Rene Zauvogar. So we get a little bit of an idea of who she might be as a person otherwise.
Starting point is 00:23:46 And saying anything, you could argue that that's like about a manic pixie-dream guy who like comes in person. Name John Lahoni. And that makes it a little interesting because it's flipped. And I would say that the interesting thing about Vanilla Sky, a movie that a lot of people don't like, I actually kind of have a lot of affection for it,
Starting point is 00:24:04 but I think that what's interesting about that movie is it's kind of an indictment of this sort of movie because Tom Cruise in that movie really like looks at women as something that are arguing to fix them or as like something external to him some like object that he can like possess and the whole fantasy that he goes through and the science fiction fantasy that he goes through in that movie is his brain constructing a reality where this woman does come and fix him and then reality is a total rejection of that. Spoiler of that.
Starting point is 00:24:37 So I think that Cameron Crowe has the capability to critique himself, but he doesn't do it in this movie at all. That's all I wanted to say about that. Do you think this is a regular scheduled goofs now? Do you think he had an idea and he lost his way, do you like budget or pressure or whatever, or do you think he was just like, I wanna go on vacation in Hawaii.
Starting point is 00:24:59 You saw the Adam Sandler method. Yes. I think he probably wanted to do a movie in that setting. There's a lot in it where characters talk about Hawaiian myths or there's a scene where they go to a place that actual Native Hawaiians live and briefly talk about how Hawaii is. It feels kinda like when...
Starting point is 00:25:18 Is he? His dad just comes back from his first trip to New Orleans and is like, I can't wait to tell you all about jazz that I'm super into now. More like, my dad has taken a couple trips to China and Singapore now as part of his work and he comes back and like wants to tell me all about these amazing things he's learned about those countries,
Starting point is 00:25:35 which is great, but it would be really irritating if he then made a movie telling me all about it as if he's the guardian. But I'm impressed. I'd be really impressed if your dad made a movie just to like, just if he could's the guardian. But I'm impressed. I'd be really impressed with your dad made a movie just to like just if he could secure the financing. I'd be impressed. You know, it's not a cheap thing to do.
Starting point is 00:25:51 And he's backers like, well, what's this movie about, Mr. Caleb? Well, I just want to teach my son something about it. I went to this really neat temple in Singapore and I want to tell him all about the statues that were in there. So I'm going to make the movie. I've already got to the statues come to life.
Starting point is 00:26:06 No, but they represent different gods. So the night of the museum, sort of situation. It is daytime, not at a museum, but at a temple. But I did go to a museum and I do want to tell them about that too. So I guess, you know what? We'll make that part of it also. Anyway, so Zach Efron has already attached a star.
Starting point is 00:26:23 As the dad? As the stah... It's we're going to have to put. As the dad? As the dad. It's, we're gonna have to put some old age makeup. Maybe a mustache. Just playing the statue. The statues are gonna be played by all the original bangles. Oh, wow. And since an anti-bangle,
Starting point is 00:26:35 the original since the day bangles. You've been boomer as I said the first ones. And one bangle tiger, because there's more than one statue and one of the statues. But he's still wearing football pants. Oh, yeah. Well, he's actually been played by Tony the tiger in like a football theme.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Oh, he's right. He's actually, don't believe the hype. He says that about himself, but he is actually just good. This is not Oscar material, but he gets the job done. Still. Yeah. So there's a little, oh, say, okay, I'm going to give you the shortest possible description of a low hop. Sure. A guy walks in to a bar. He does a one point.
Starting point is 00:27:15 He's here for this kind of small scale thing. He manages to get it by making a deal with some Hawaiian people who we almost never see against another movie. He falls in love with Emma Stone. She falls in love with him. There's some tension between him and Rachel McAdams who he used to go out with and who was ready to marry him, but the relationship fell apart. It turns out her daughter is actually his daughter and not Woody's daughter. And this causes trouble between Rachel McAdams and John Krasinski who are married. Their son is convinced that Bradley Cooper is Lono and a Hawaiian deity, not Lono, the
Starting point is 00:27:50 Dizzy character, and not Lono, the hundred bullets character. We're not Lono, the hundred bullets character. But he is alone and the name Lono sounds like Lone, alone. So I guess that's it. And Emma Stone and him fall in love. He reveals that he has two toes on one toe. It's so gross. And so this happened Afghanistan.
Starting point is 00:28:09 And he invented some kind of space, sound pulse thing that comes up later. It turns that they guys do that gate ritual. Great problem. And from the X-Men show. Somehow, the flesh back. Yeah. Yeah. I just swinging around a, what are those calls? I know. Like, bolos? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just swinging around a, uh, uh, what are those calls?
Starting point is 00:28:26 I know. Like, bolos. Yeah. Sure. Uh, not actually gateway from the X-Men. Uh, then there's, they're going to launch this ship, which has a private satellite on by Billy Bill, I was going to say Billy Crystal, Bill Murray. It's owned by Billy Crystal to satellite dedicated to broadcasting nothing but Mickey Mantle Yankees games. That's right. Uh, they're going to launch this satellite. Oh, I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:28:47 But because Rachel McCannum's son managed to videotape a top secret classified cargo, they find out there's also a nuke payload that's going to be on that satellite. Yeah, this is an unexpected development. And what seemed to be a low-key character study slash romance? Now, I would love to watch a low key character study. Or just Tom Hiddleston, just going to like, or Huddleston, just don't worry about it. Walking around being low key, liking his everyday life. I'm not going to ask him to rip his head off.
Starting point is 00:29:14 Low key's head, he needs that. Not really. He's an Ask Guardian God. He'll just be a talking head like David Byrne. Oh, now Dan's interested. Yeah. Something to work. Stop making so much sense, Elliot.
Starting point is 00:29:26 I wish I could make any sense, but it's really the aloha screen flight. It's about to make even less sense. Hello. Who's a Chinese hacker that's trying to get into the system. Bradley Cooper, I guess, is also a computer genius, so he defeats that hacker. And then he explodes the satellite using the power of sound. He see the satellite launches and he sees that Emastone is is sad and he promised the Hawaiians that there'd be no weapons on that satellite. And so he, he uses a sonic pulse made up of sound effects
Starting point is 00:29:54 from other Bill Murray movies and my other things. To blow up the satellite, it may be the worst special effects I've seen in a major Hollywood film in years. Like these are sub sci-fi channel original effects. What have you saw then in IMAX? How upset would you have been at like? Well, I'd be like, why is it low-hide in IMAX? It really doesn't benefit from that.
Starting point is 00:30:12 You'd have been throwing your popcorn in all directions. But it was like a collage. Like Emma Stone's face is enormous. Yeah, he blows it up with like a collage of noises that included, as you say, the theme from Stripes, or there was a brief snippet of Starman, David Bowie singing Starman. And Juan Valdés, Coffee Commercial. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:33 And I feel like, I don't know, Cameron Crowe is the sort of person that, like this means something, you know, like this means something to him, like the idea that he's using pop culture to blow up this nuke. I guess so. I mean, I can play into you guys while you're watching this. It's like something out of a macross. Regular macross. One of the macrosses.
Starting point is 00:30:53 One of these, one of them in the on-genesis Evangelion's going on here. The macrosses are one of them using music as weapons. Yeah, and there's like a pop star, a robo construct that is fighting against the flying robot ships. Yeah, sounds good. Anyway, so I was mentioning you guys that there's something. I'm really underselling it. I get this a little bit in West Anderson movies and a little bit in Richard Lincolaine and Cameroon movies where when a song starts playing the soundtrack, I can feel a little too
Starting point is 00:31:23 heavily, the hand of the director going through his record collection looking for the right song and in this movie it was particularly onerous to me. It usually doesn't bother me that much. You didn't mention Tarantino. Tarantino, I feel that too. But in that case, in that case, and like Wes Anderson and others, I feel like they usually do manage to get the right match between song and scene. So it's like, okay, I'm feeling their hand in this, but. And there are those two guys are also much more interesting visual. Yes, and often the visuals and the music camera point each other in some way. In this one, there was a lot more of like, and especially in, of like, well, I'm listening to Cameron Crowe's record collection right now.
Starting point is 00:32:02 And in that scene, it felt like he may have put more time and effort into putting that sound collage together than the rest of the movie. Yeah. So Bradley Cooper blows it up. Yeah, it all goes to blow it. He tells Amistone, you've got too good a career, like we shouldn't be together.
Starting point is 00:32:16 And she's sad, and he doesn't know if she's gonna keep the straw hat that he bought her earlier in the movie. In the, probably the best sequence of the movie. Because she puts on a hat that covers her whole head. But like she's one of those feudal Japanese monks who's trying to create a distance between them and the rest of us. Well, it's a moment where like,
Starting point is 00:32:36 what's this face from, from that Albert in the Jackyard game? Oh, the most mouth. Yeah, much mouth. Was it much not as a weird Harold or Donald. It's probably was a crazy Donald or strange Harold or weird. They're all carried by a way. Maybe more like more from Bizzouca.
Starting point is 00:32:52 Yeah, which one was that? That's the one with the the turtle neck that goes up all over. And then that was Bizzouca Joe. No, Bizzouca Joe's not have a turtle neck. But that was a good joke. The most normal looking one of them. I thought he was the one who was like, I thought he was the one with like a black eye all the time.
Starting point is 00:33:07 He's got the eye patch. Yeah, he's the normal one. He's the normal one. He's got an eye patch. He's not all compared to the guy who's got a fucking extra one. Cause there's a good Joe takes place in the pie like a man. I'll look at everyone's a pirate.
Starting point is 00:33:19 He's bigger. He's more normal than the guy with like the Magnum Turtle neck. The answer I'm not to draw attention to is disability. But he has an eye back. That's why he's always back flipping out of the panel. That's right. Well, you're talking to some sort of constantly saying things that he shocked me so much
Starting point is 00:33:33 that I have to flip backwards. You're just your feet and a little puff of dust. You're talking to some sort of... If you guys didn't say the many shocking things, I wouldn't flip backwards so much. And my neck would thank you. Because I haven't had so many injuries. Yes, so much. And my neck would thank you. Because I had so many injuries. Yes, so much.
Starting point is 00:33:47 So much as you could go lost. He flipped over backwards onto a spike. Utah, it wouldn't be surprised if I didn't know who was who it was. You try to somebody who took years to figure out which one was Funky Winker being. It's not the guy with the glasses. It's the funkyest one.
Starting point is 00:34:02 None of them are funky. If anything, he's the least funky one. And don't even start me about how little of a winker bean he is. That's the one that's always on the most winker. That's the comic strip for band teachers, right? Yeah, that's right. We're going to put up on their doorway. It's the comic strip that is either jokes about band class or characters being told they
Starting point is 00:34:21 have cancer and dealing with it. There's like one crazy, funky winger bean where it's just a it. There's like one crazy funky winger bean where it's just a single panel of crazy funky winger bean. So I was savage, you've heard of it. Of a character standing in the doorway and then in the foreground, you have a character like dead from an overdose of pills. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Yeah. Not in my Sunday funny, sir. Yeah. This is not fun. This is not fun. This is true and rose is rose. This is bad fucking at all. Refunct this up. So they blow up the satellite and they kind of break up.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Bradley Cooper finds out that Rachel McEttams and Woody are splitting apart but now they get back together. Woody and they then put it together. It's made official that Bradley Cooper is the daughter's father. He gets back with Emma Stone. He's told by the military who were at first mad at him for blowing off this satellite that it's true they found out there was going to be a nuke payload on it. So it's going to all be kept hush hush, but he's in the clear.
Starting point is 00:35:18 Yeah, and they're arresting Bill Murray's arrested while standing on a beach. And he gets back together with Emma Stone and says, hey, when you come back from your tour duty, I'm gonna be here. And he also, and then in a curious final scene which we were talking about, could have been very emotionally affecting in a different movie.
Starting point is 00:35:37 He kind of, he finds the woman he now, the girl he now knows his daughter, at Hula class, because it's Hawaii, and kind of silently expresses to her that sheces his daughter at Hula class, because it's Hawaii, and kind of silently expresses to her that she is his daughter, and she cries and runs out in a hug zoom and then goes back to class. And it's like- It's a very sort of touching moment in a movie that's not very good.
Starting point is 00:35:56 It's similar to anyone who listened to our Golden Child episode. And if you did, I apologize for the audio quality. The scene between the monk and his daughter, where they're kind of like talking about how they like Eddie Murphy despite his faults and he gives his blessing to their relationship. This was like that, a much better kind of subtler scene and a movie that doesn't really deserve it.
Starting point is 00:36:18 That is not earns that amount. It's a scene in a movie where almost every other scene has characters basically explaining who they are or explaining what they think the other person is constantly and so there's they take anything that would be subtext and they make it text So it makes this scene seem out of place at this point. Yeah, now for a movie that has two love triangles Bill Murray, Alec Baldwin the the military, one of the characters of Fighter pilot, no two of the characters. And a subplot about a satellite that's going to have a nuke on it.
Starting point is 00:36:51 This nothing really happens in this movie, like very little happens. And there's at least one scene with Danny McBride and a baby named Don that was very charming. Yeah, that part was kind of nice. But like there's otherwise there's like there's not it feels like you're watching the first draft of a script where he's like I want to write a movie set in Hawaii maybe I'll deal with the military. I'll just throw some ideas out there. Weird overtones of like the you know I'll bring in stuff about religion like the indigenous religions somehow. And then he wrote one draft of it.
Starting point is 00:37:26 And then like Rip Van Winkle, Cameron Crowe fell into a slumber for months. And when he woke up, it was shooting, it was the first day of shooting. And he's like, I guess we're shooting the first draft. Yeah, but we should move on to final judgments on this movie, whether it's a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie we kind of liked. I will say, this is a bad bad movie, I will say this for it. Despite being a bad bad movie, I could imagine a scenario in which you're hung over
Starting point is 00:37:54 on the couch, you turn on a low-ha, you might find it very comforting. Yeah, I mean, it's a movie that you could easily pass in and out of sleep while watching, and it would not detract from the effect of watching. So that's my recommended way of watching it. Get drunk the night before you're going to watch a low-haw. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:11 A lot of preparation. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's a low-haw. You got to make a make the day for it. Throw on some some stretchy pants. Oh, the stretchiest because you're Mr. Fantastic. Shuffle me into the other room. Yeah, you can be big people.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Fine. Fine the whole slice of pizza. Ituffle the other room. Yeah, you can be big. You can be big. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. You do, you did it. Well, blondies in the other room making a giant ass sandwich. What? What? What?
Starting point is 00:38:47 Do I have any hair? Yeah. Uh, yeah, the, it's funny because this isn't a very good movie. But there are like, there are definitely scenes where you're reminded like, oh, Cameron Crow knows how to make something at least much charming, or the actors are charming. Like, there's moments where you're like, I could see how this would be enjoyable. This could have been a good movie. It does not earn the streaming, the very streaming services tagline for this movie,
Starting point is 00:39:17 which is, say hello to your new favorite movie. I mean, that's the only person who would possibly say hello to it in that way would be What like someone who'd never seen a movie before and they're just like that's amazing This is my first one the first of a first and only I Can't believe this technology exists camera and crow you're a genius because he thinks he invented it Okay, so L.A. What do you think? movie I kind of like no, I think it's I think it's a bad man movie, but it's like this plot, even, and except for the satellite stuff.
Starting point is 00:39:51 This plot and these characters and this setting could have been a good movie. There's the potential there, but it's not a good movie. But I could see a movie that involves the relationship between people in the military and other people used to be in the military and those people and the natives of a and then habitants and habits of the Hawaiians who are feel like they're they've lost something and they're living under the control of another force, you know, of the American government that they not didn't necessarily choose to be a part of.
Starting point is 00:40:23 I mean, it feels like, as you said, it feels like a first draft, because every character could use a little bit more of a tweak. Yeah. And they could put a little more effort into playing up like the location. It feels like the location is there for when they need to inject like a myth or something like that. Or set dressing, put a laze on everybody.
Starting point is 00:40:43 People always wear laze, there's a lot of pineapples and backgrounds. Music, a lot of Elvis and Hawaii type music. A lot of Hawaiian music, a lot of ukulele. And let me just say this, when it comes to music, I am not the most accepting person. There's a lot of music I don't like. Hawaiian music is pretty high up there on the list of music I don't like. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:03 It's just a little too mellow for me. It's all about land back. There's a reason that there's no like Hawaiian metal that I know of. Yep. Well, you're like a real Bradley Cooper type character then. Oh, yeah. Because he, no, but even he seems to like all the music.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Oh, yeah. That's the other thing is it's one of those movies where everyone falls under the spell of a place but you don't feel that spell. Yeah, what is this, Tremay? Yeah, it's like, exactly like Tremay. And everyone's like, no, Lens, Jazz, nothing better. And you're watching it and you're like, this is boring.
Starting point is 00:41:35 Man, I'm sorry, I'm part of New Orleans today. Yeah, they've been through enough. So yeah, city suffering so much. This delightful program is brought to you by Squarespace, beautiful websites for beautiful bread like mom's buns bakery.com. It takes a lot of balls to name your business mom's buns. I don't even feel 100% comfortable saying that out loud mom's buns. Although mom's buns look great. I gotta say.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Welcome to Oh No Ross and Carrie. Ross. Hey Carrie. What do you think is creepier? Okay. You jump into a swimming pool. All of a sudden, the water goes away. And instead of water, there is the bones of your dead
Starting point is 00:42:21 ancestors or our show. That's pretty tough because we've visited a live exorcism. We joined the auto-templey or antists where we had to worship and naked lady. Oh, and we joined that Tony Alamo cult. They were scary. Super creepy. We joined the theory society.
Starting point is 00:42:36 We tried penis enlargement or at least I did. Oh boy, I tried breast enlargement. We have basically done every creepy weird fringe thing except for thousands more, which we will get to if you listen to our show. I'd still say the swimming pool of my ancestors bounce. Well, now you know if people will listen. I guess they shouldn't.
Starting point is 00:42:53 But if you want to, we're at maximum fun in this show called On A Rossing Carry. Before we move on, I just want to thank everyone who came out to our live shows. And came out at our live shows. Sold out live shows. It was great to see people in person afterwards hanging out at the bar. Putting up with us. Yeah. And wealth.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Thank you to everyone who stopped by and said hi. We had two great sold out audiences. Everyone was super pumped and super hyped up. And I think I heard somewhere that audiences in New York are the best. Oh wait, no, I shouldn't say that now because no, we might go somewhere else someday. I want to thank some of the folks that helped us. I want to thank Matt Carmen in the booth. I want to thank Jesus in the booth. That was his name. Jesus. I'm not. What was his last name, Dan? I don't know. I mean, I don't think Matt Carman in the booth. I want to thank Jesus in the booth. That was his name, Jesus. I'm not. Oh, this is last name, Dan.
Starting point is 00:43:46 I don't know. I mean, I don't either. All the people at the bell house. I want to thank everyone at the bell house. I want to thank Wendy Mays who contributed some equipment and her pot. Recording equipment. Yeah, her podcast is called Pet Cinematary.
Starting point is 00:44:02 If you want to check that out. I want to thank Ray and Steven for letting us use their house to watch boobies and good care of us. Yeah, I may have forgotten anyone and if I do, I have I apologize, but just thank everyone for making the shows such a delight. Thank you Dan. Hey, thank you guys. Thank you Stuart and Dan. You're welcome. Aloha. Hello. Goodbye. I want to just take a moment to give a birthday shout out. This was not brought up at the minute at the meeting. This was requested. I had a request to give a bulk birthday shout out to quote ultimate gin who had a birthday on one of the days of the live shows,
Starting point is 00:44:45 but she could not make it. So, happy birthday to her. I feel bad for pen ultimate gin. Yeah. Yeah, it's always annoying that she's going to be. Couldn't make the cut. Yeah. Living in the shadow. Yeah. But also, I just want to take a moment to say, hey, if you haven't checked out MaximumFun.org, go over there and check out our podcast network. Yeah. Check out the fan page. It's not just a network, Dan, it's a family. It doesn't talk very much.
Starting point is 00:45:15 When you're here, you're family. And here is MaximumFun. Yeah, I don't think anyone else uses that slogan. No other place claims that when you're there, your family. Spend some time with some baby geniuses and pop rockets. Yeah, some ladies to ladies. Throw some shade. Yeah, Jordan Jesse and go.
Starting point is 00:45:34 That's right. Jordan Jesse play the ancient game of go every episode. Sounds fascinating. Oh, you learn a lot. It's kind of stuff my dad tells me But now let's move along to letters from listeners. You wrote them. We read them. That's the way it works That's the way it works. That's the way it works. Dan says that's the way it works You wrote them we read them. That's the way it works how does it work glad that you
Starting point is 00:46:06 asked as Dan said I'll refer you to his comments that you write them and then we read them that's how it works that's how it works that's how it works that's how it that's how it works if you guys picked up the slack, I wouldn't need it. That's how it works. That's how it works. That's how it works. That's how it works. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Letters is taped before a live studio audience of one cat So speaking of birthdays Speaking of birthdays Dan was talking about that's how it works You're born and that's the day that you celebrate that's how it works Anything you need to know about how something works, ask me and I'll sing it to you Unless it's really complicated and made out of words that don't rhyme so well in which case I don't know if I can help you so well, but I'll try Till I die. That's how it works
Starting point is 00:47:18 So we're not gonna make a habit of doing this birthday shout-out. So I'm gonna do nip that in the bud Take that bud and nip it. That's how it works. But since it happened that a couple of these came up at the same time, I thought, why the hell not? Let's do these birthday things and then let's never do it again. You mean there? You mean there? Twins. That's right.
Starting point is 00:47:41 So this goes, hello, dance to an Elliott. I'm right. Hello, dance to an Elliott. I'm right. So this goes hello dance to an Elliott. I'm writing. Hello dance to an Elliott. I'm writing. I'm writing to requests a song done for my wife, the lovely Michelle Sellers, being so super popular and entertainment weekly certified now. What can I offer as an incident of money, compliments, first born human children, inspiring butts. I have one of those convincing Neil brain to release his next film. A bit about Michelle.
Starting point is 00:48:07 She's an avid floppin promoter of all things peaches and was recently taken to singing Elliott inspired songs at random. That's the only way to do it. She is a particular dance band and supposed to do is all right. Michelle is a feminist librarian at a small Southern college Zen Buddhist and Cat lover. As a four-much in song suggests, she is quite real mad lives of attributes there. She's quite the home cook, particularly skilled at sesh one food with various fun dishes. She loves Kurosawa, French New Wave, and Law and Order and Equal Measure.
Starting point is 00:48:42 She is spending the weekend in sad morning due to missing your life shows. Life shows. Well, this actually says life shows. You know what it meant. So they're not our shows for life day. Look, I'm like, we didn't invite them out. I'm like, well, I'm an anchor man.
Starting point is 00:48:56 If you put it in the prompter, I'll just read it. So I guess that about covers the basis. Hope is my, hope my mix of my miss. All right. Do you pop by? I hope my miss of axkin potential bribing and reference musings have won you
Starting point is 00:49:11 over flopping yours. Deventer last name with held. So I don't know if the spare moves you you can sing a song or we could ignore this. What was your name again? Michelle. Michelle. Sellers not related. Probably to Peter sellers. Another
Starting point is 00:49:31 sellers. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. When you're cooking, Szechuan food and doing the other things that the letter mentioned that I already forgot. That's how it works. So happy birthday. Michelle, next letter. I'm writing in regard to the Great Switcheroo and your stint on the Adventures on podcast. Sorry about that. That was a fabulous show. I've been a D&D player.
Starting point is 00:50:07 You were really to go. You were to go home. It's a call back to a conversation we had backstage from where the live show. Joe Wilder, you and your sister can go. From your favorite movie, Jewel the Nile. No. So the adventure zone podcast, that was a
Starting point is 00:50:31 fabulous show. I've been a D&D player since the late 1970s. You remember back in your born doxins, even even working at TSR, writing and editing Dungeons and Dragons products in the early 1990s. The spaghetti restaurant. And Stewart is one of the best DMs I've heard. He kept the story and moving along, didn't get bogged down in too much dice rolling or
Starting point is 00:50:55 rules mechanics. It was a pleasure to listen to. It must have been quite a stretch for Elliot and Dan to take on such difficult roles for the game. Imagine Elliot stretching to play a character who finds pleasure in making short, terrible ditties, and Dan losing himself in the role of his long suffering companion. It boggles the mind. Thanks again.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Who watches butts? For all you do, Bill last name with help. I just wanted to read that because I thought, Stuart, you deserve a little bit of crap. Yeah, well, thank you. Well, I appreciate it. It was super fun to do. Thanks, Bill. It was was fun. Hope we get the chance to do it again someday. Yeah, we'll probably do it again soon. Yeah, you've been put right after tonight. What? Just joking. JK JK sevens. is from Paul last name withheld and it's titled. Sure, Vino.
Starting point is 00:51:46 It's titled, some anagram, some anagrams, some anagrams of the flop house. Look at this bee. Some anagrams of the flop house. Hot, foul sheep. Ooh, plush feet. I like that one. Feel Tush poo.
Starting point is 00:52:03 Dan like that one. For Dan McCoy. Can my cod? For Elliott Kalin. All oat tinkle and Amel Kite toll. Hey, sometimes it's just accurate. So the cards lay. If you if you fly anal kites, it will take a huge toll on you. First to it, Wellington. So many letters. It's a rule of the possibility. First to it, Wellington. Townslet Triangle. That's all. That's it for now. You're all beautiful and talented. Paul last day with help.
Starting point is 00:52:39 Thanks Paul. We think about that townslet triangle. Sounds like a movie just waiting to be tarped. But I'll never stick a kite in my butt again without thinking of that. The last letter of the evening. Oh, that's how it works. That's how it works. Dan says it's the last one. And then it is.
Starting point is 00:53:00 That's how it works. That's how it works. He's going to read it. We'll talk about it. Then this segment is over. That's how it works. That's how it works. He's gonna read it. We'll talk about it then this segment is over. That's how it works. It's from now on. Now the breakdown part, we're spoken word. That's how it works.
Starting point is 00:53:16 We're going to work it now. I'll tell you how it works with the last letter. This is from Loa. Jesus Christ. I just said it correctly one second ago. And then the breakdown. It's how it works. Dan says the thing and we throw him off. That's how it works. No, I'll ask the name withheld? I'm a 16 year old fan, who recently had a few friends over
Starting point is 00:53:47 for a screening of a frequently recommended flop house. I never thought it would happen to me, but I had my friends over for a minute. I'm gonna say right now, not age appropriate. Yes. This was of course the cinematic masterwork that is Castle Freight. Yep, yep, there you go.
Starting point is 00:54:02 I was learning so much about anatomy. Three. Though I was disappointed by the lack of ding dong ripping that is Castle Freight. Yep, there you go. You guys learned so much about anatomy. Yeah. Though I was disappointed by the lack of ding dong ripping, I still- You must have been going to the bathroom during that. I still really enjoyed the film. That is until my mom walked in during the scene, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha with a titular hero bites a prostitute's nipple off. Yeah. It was, as you can imagine, painfully awkward. I mean, I feel like it's your fault
Starting point is 00:54:28 watching that movie when your mom's at home. But even though my relationship with my mother is, you're rush really damaged. She showed up with like pizza bagels and sodas for everybody. Kids, I have sunny D.N. the purple stuff. Oh my god. Oh, dear Lord, what's happening? I still have began.
Starting point is 00:54:43 I have still. You started castleak without me. I still have begun planning a sequel. Castle Freak takes New York, in which the Castle Freak comes a Broadway sensation. What would you guys want from a Castle Freak? I'll tell you one show he's not appearing in Poverty of the P. This.
Starting point is 00:55:00 That's right. That's a Broadway show, right? I'll tell you another show. It was near Broadway. I'll tell you how to do it. It's near Broadway. I'll tell you another show. He's Broadway Jason. Yeah, I'm smart enough so because it closed. Yeah, yeah, or equis for the same for both reasons. So what would you like to see in a cast of Freak's sequel with the question? Are we going to continue the idea that he is in a Broadway show or I can like, you know, you know, you know,
Starting point is 00:55:25 the only boundaries is your imagination. Okay. That's how it works. That's how it works. So obviously because it is the 21st century, we're gonna take Caspreque to cyberspace. Now he died at the end of the movie. Yep.
Starting point is 00:55:41 So his consciousness didn't. It's been uploaded to the net. So a local Italian hacker uploaded his consciousness to the internet in an attempt to break down, I don't know, create the ultimate virus. Okay. Now is castle now an anagram? It is, of course. Castle wall is like a firewall that somebody used to protect their goodies and the internet. Yeah, why do you mean anagram?
Starting point is 00:56:07 I'm sorry. I mean acronym. Yeah, it's like computer assault syndrome terror Life eraser freak perfect. Yeah, wait, where's the freak part come from? No, no the freak is not an act because he's a castle freak Oh, yeah, so it's a freak castle. Yeah, He's even more of a freak now that he's dead. Yeah, because he exited. And freak is spelled pH. Oh, no, get a phone freak. Exactly. Or because he's, I don't know, made a acid?
Starting point is 00:56:35 I don't know. I don't know why that went. That's part of it. Because of his pH balance. No, I guess. He's no longer a base. So anyway, he's uploading. He's not a basic bitch. He's a phone freak.
Starting point is 00:56:46 He's certainly not a cast. So he's uploaded to the net and then some Italian console cowboy comes along. I love it still Italy. Even though the internet is global. It's the worldwide web. It's not just the world. It's Italian. That's a line from the movie. Oh my god. He's gone global. That's a line from the movie. Oh my God, he's gone global. It's a me Leonardo da Vinci. Oh my God. The castle fring is a gone globe. He's in a Maya computer that's made out of brilliant and old roustistics and rocks. I made a Maya computer out of spiket. It's a secret network. I made it out of a bobolly computer show. A bobolly. A bobolly. Computer crossed. It's a secret net way. I made it out of a Bavali computer show. Bavali.
Starting point is 00:57:25 Bavali. Bavali. Computer crossed. And so how do they defeat him? Do they rip off like a digital ding dong? I don't think throw them off a roof. It still ends with them going into virtual reality cyberspace and throwing them off a cliff.
Starting point is 00:57:40 They have his hard drive and throw them off a roof. Come on. Yeah, they throw the computer off a roof. It's just like that scene we always watched at the show where Mark Harmon walks in on what NCIS and just unplugged the computer to stop hackers. They're only after, so anyone who hasn't seen this, you've probably seen it.
Starting point is 00:57:58 This is a clip we used to watch all the time of the Daily Show, an episode of NCIS where their science computer lab is being hacked into, and the hacker character, you know, she's like a goth hacker because she's got like a nose ring and dyed black hair. Big tails and a choker. And she probably listens to a lot of like, what, I don't even know, like a...
Starting point is 00:58:19 Like five finger deathbunch and whatnot. Yeah, that kind of stuff. Yeah, like she goes to the warp tour a lot, but the she's semi-professional. Every weekend she's in the warp tour. To be more than once, he's been there. And she's like, I can't type fast enough, I can't type fast enough, either. The hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack,
Starting point is 00:58:39 hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, typing on the same keyboard as if that will make it go faster. Like, if they're playing heart and soul on the piano. Or like typing is the same as like pushing a car that's not working. So you're like, well, the two of us together will be stronger.
Starting point is 00:58:54 And they can't type on this keyboard together fast enough. And so Mark Harmon walks over and unplugs the computer and he's like problem solved because NCIS is a show for old people who don't know how computers work. It's such a great scene. So funny. Yeah. So much wrong with it. Problem solved. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:11 So before we unplug this computer. Consider this freak castled. Starting Nathan Fillion. That's how it works. So now it's time for the final segment of the evening or day. Whenever you're listening to this thing. Or life if you're dying. That's right. If you're dying, please take these out and say goodbye to your shoulder.
Starting point is 00:59:30 I need to say a live long enough to finish the Aloha episode. I know what movies they like. Need to find out what the sting is after the theme song at the end. Are there any bloops? Gotta hear them bloop must get to the bloops. That's like something's trying to bloop. It's like the line between bloops and boops. We have fun here sometimes. I'm sorry, Kenny. No, it's not.
Starting point is 01:00:09 I was almost ever time. It's time for the bloops. So, yeah, this is where we recommend movies that we saw. I'm sorry you have one bloop to live. Are you getting a good bloop? This is where we recommend movies. Finish everything on my bloop at list. That we liked in contrast to a movie like Aloha. Hello. That we loved. I'll
Starting point is 01:00:36 start. I watched the movie. It's such a beautiful day. The Don Hertzfeldt animated film. It's available on Netflix streaming. You can watch it in a mere hour of your time. And I recommend it. Even though it's an hour and a half long. It's an animated film that, I mean, Don Hertzfeldt, you know, has done a bunch of animated shorts, but this is one of his long pieces.
Starting point is 01:01:08 He does it in a sort of a stick figure-y style that's deceptively simple. He's a really great animator, but he uses on top of the stick figure animations, the pencil animations, a lot of collage, a lot of different effects. He puts in some live action shots as well. And it's about a character. I guess what you're saying is he puts the ooh in cartoon. I don't know if I would say that. You said it, dude. I'm quoting you.
Starting point is 01:01:37 Now I feel ashamed. It's right here in Animation Age magazine. It's on the cartoon brew website. Okay, puts the ooo in cartoon. What is about a character called Bill who, it starts out as a bunch of unconventional. His name is Bill who um, oh god.
Starting point is 01:01:52 Anyway, I want to interrupt him. It starts out as a bunch of unconventional vignettes and then it slowly becomes a story of how this character has a sort of unspecified terminal disease that means that he starts having hallucinations and then the movie sort of tracks his, the progression of this disease, tracks flashbacks into his past and his family history and how they've had a crazy unlucky time and then it flashes forward, not flash
Starting point is 01:02:27 forward, but it tracks bills. Future how the disease progresses and how they're sort of a transcendent ending to it all. It's all about death and coming to terms with death and coming to terms with aging, but it's also funny and it pushes the boundaries of cartooning and it's sad and sort of beautiful and it all happens. As I said in an hour, so I highly recommend you watch Don Hardsfeld's It's such a beautiful day. And that's my recommendation. Sounds good. Let's do it in an extra shot in an extra shot.
Starting point is 01:03:07 Sure I'll go next. I'm gonna recommend a movie. I think you guys already seen, but haven't recommended it. It's called a low, huh? I'm gonna record, hello. That's how it works. It's how it works.
Starting point is 01:03:18 I'm gonna recommend a movie called Cicario. Cicario is a movie. It's about aic car. Yo, let me see if I can pronounce this name properly I was stupid and I loved it Let me see if I can pronounce this name properly Emily blunt isn't it. Oh, okay. Oh, was that a switch him up? Yep, because it's directed by Denny Villeneuve Was that a switch them up? Yep, because it's directed by Danie Villanueve Who directed prisoners and enemy and
Starting point is 01:03:55 Went Harry and Matt Sally, right probably that's right now Sicario's like those movies and that it's got atmosphere for days. It's got some heavy foreboding soundtrack It's got some nice long slow shots. There's a lot of shadows. It's really tense. It's all about building that tension man. And it's about the drug war along the Texas and the Arizona border along Mexico. And the story focuses on Emily Blunt who plays,
Starting point is 01:04:24 I believe an FBI agent, I don't know. But she gets kind of wrapped up in... I don't know, I didn't see the movie. Yeah, you're doing a report, a score report on it. So, Sikario is the story of a sicker, that... No, but it says FBI agent in IMB be so she she gets kind of wrapped up in this investigation with some Members of a it seemingly unknown US government
Starting point is 01:04:55 Organization to kind of take on the Mexican cartels and On me to take on me on mm-hmm. I'll be gone. And she turns into a tune in your recommendation. Uh, so, So, I'm going to recommend a movie that I originally planned to recommend at one of our live shows, but we didn't do recommendations for those.
Starting point is 01:05:22 We had watched the film Entourage, and I decided to recommend a movie about a slightly more likable group of young people than the Entourage group, which is a class of 1984, which is one of the classic punk movies, and that is a movie about how punk teens are a menace who will rape and kill people, but the movie ends up being such an anti-social, like enjoyable piece of trash, that it's kind of more punk than they meant it to be. That's not a surprise. It's directed by Mark Lester, who you know best as the director of Commando.
Starting point is 01:05:57 Another movie that is such trash that it becomes brilliant, and it stars a whole slew of stars, Timothy Van Patten, Roddy McDowell, Michael J. Fox, before he put the J in his name, when he was just Michael Fox. And it's all about how these kids in the 80s with their punk music and their crazy haircuts are gonna start acting up,
Starting point is 01:06:18 swearing at teachers and running drug rings and prostitution rings out of the backs of my clubs and killing people. And it's a super crazy enjoy movie, except for a sexual assault scene that I did not care for, that I watched the unreasonably having not seen it in a long time and I'd forgotten about this scene somehow. And I did not like that part.
Starting point is 01:06:41 That was unnecessary, but otherwise, it's if you wanted to see a band teacher, this is for funky winker being fans out there. You want to see a band teacher? A funky. Get his life ruined by a bunch of crazy punk teens who have the greatest word robes, maybe in the history of film. And then he gets revenge on them by killing all of them. Then, uh, this is the movie for you, Class of 1984, theme song by Alice Cooper. All right. Well, he sang it. He didn't write it. All right. Jesus. Jump down my throat.
Starting point is 01:07:15 Yeah, you're not the cat from Tales from the Dark Side, the movie. Yeah. I would never. And Dan's not Buster Poindexter. He has. Star of Free Jack. Yes. Supporting character. Free Jack. He's not even the second lead from free Jack. Who is it, Mick Jagster? Yeah. You're better off calling him the star of Scrooge.
Starting point is 01:07:35 He's also not the star of. He just plays the, he plays the cat, the main character. He's the next character. Goes to the past. Now, how much does the Jack cost to that movie? Uh, I don't know, probably $25. Really? Or best off? Because it's, uh, it's a GMO free. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:55 Free range jack. Yeah. Free range, grass fed jack. It's healthier than where Jack. Which do not worry. What if Mick Jagger pulled Kangaroo Jack from the past and free Jack? How disappointed would he be when he's like, I thought you were going to be a rap in Kangaroo, but you're just a regular kangaroo. That was a dream sequence or something. Yeah. Can't get no satisfaction under your thumb. Roo.
Starting point is 01:08:23 Perfect. Keep going. How many other songs do you know? The beast of burden in this case would be. Perfect. Keep going. Have any other songs you'd love to sound? The Beast of Bird in this case would be a kangaroo, of course. Yeah. I'm just waiting for a friend in Kangaroo jazz. Wild kangaroos can hang me away. Yeah, exactly. A voodoo lounge, a deep-rooted kangaroo.
Starting point is 01:08:36 The brown of the kangaroos, a pelt. And the sweetness of the pouch. So I keep all their treats treats other rolling stone songs. Uh, you got us simply for the kangaroo. Uh, painted, painted Jack. It's called Kangaroo Jack, painted Jack. Painted. Because the famous kangaroo scrotum, which they turned into what bagpipes.
Starting point is 01:09:02 They're famous song. Can't you hear me, Jack? All right. And of course, who could forget? Dan, give me a Jack Zuckerblues. There you go. The unreleased Stone Song. Not jumping, Jack Flash.
Starting point is 01:09:16 Oh, damn it. Shit. Oh, snap. Oh, that's fine on the ground. And you walked right past it. I'm not seeing it. I'm picking up panties and there's a gold bar sit right in front of me. Oh, Stewart, that's how it works.
Starting point is 01:09:32 That's how it works. So, but anyway, for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stewart Wellington. I'm Elliott Kaelin and that's the end of the show we say our names and say goodbye and that's how it works a low-ha Hello Those bloopers are going to the poopers to Tonight on pooper bloopers your favorite collection video of bloopers of people failing to use the toilet properly. Why was a camera on them?
Starting point is 01:10:08 Who knows? But that's not a toilet. That's a sink. Goi. Those are kids. Those are normal adults. What's going on? This guy just can't seem to get the paper to his anus.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Let's watch what happens. Life. It's called, uh, boobers and rectical jokes. The Sergio Argona's cartoons are disgusting. It craps. Boopers. It craps.
Starting point is 01:10:40 Boopers and rectical jokes. Uh, okay. Maximumfund.org Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? We're here for you. We're Pop Rocket. I am Guy Brannum. I'm a comedian. I'm Winter Mitchell. I call myself a digital strategist. I'm all of a wing, academic and disc junkie. Margaret Woppler, Shay Sweet, as General East. Eee! And we watch, listen to and read everything so that you don't have to. And then we tell you about all the things that you'll love to love. Find us in iTunes or wherever you download podcasts.
Starting point is 01:11:22 Pop Rocket. Everyone's way from maximumfund.org. Find us in iTunes or wherever you download podcasts. All-procket. Everyone say from maximumfund.org.

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