The Flop House - Ep. #202 - Burnt
Episode Date: April 16, 2016On this episode we run through a tasting menu of Bradley Cooper's assholish behavior in the bad-boy chef movie, Burnt. Meanwhile, Elliott recites some lewd Dr. Seuss, Stuart drops some Friday the 13th... science, and Dan suggests a new sort of nativity. Movies recommended in this episode: His Girl FridayMcCabe and Mrs. Miller The Tin Drum
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Discussion (0)
On this episode we discuss
Burnt, which is how you're gonna feel after you watch the movieop House, I'm Dan McCoy.
Welcome to the Flopcast podcast, I'm Stuart Wellington.
Flopcom Wellboho, I'm Stuart Wellington. Flopcom Wellboho.
I'm Ellie Caleb.
That was just you, Rich.
Three of us doing a thing called a podcast.
And we heightened the bit each time.
Dan, what does this podcast do or what is a podcast?
Well, a podcast.
There's a thing called really simple syndication or RSS.
You already lost it.
All right.
Well, anyway, this is a podcast.
Is it related to simple syrup? Yeah, it's too many tongue twisters
Really simple syndication is a sentence indication made of equal parts sugar and water
Interesting we call it sugar water
So the name of my ranch
Pressing
My ranch dressing sugar water brand red red dressing. He still gets to wear a cowboy hat I'm not interested in the thing. I'm not interested in the
thing.
I'm not interested in the
thing. I'm not interested in the
thing.
I'm not interested in the
thing.
I'm not interested in the thing.
I'm not interested in the
thing.
I'm not interested in the
thing.
I'm not interested in the
thing.
I'm not interested in the
thing. I'm not interested in the
thing.
I'm not interested in the
thing.
I'm not interested in the
thing. I'm not interested in the thing. Candy Corn would be in that salad.
You know it. Candy Corn, Candy Lettuce, Candy Rageses, Candy Coveons, or those are the
missing things there. Candy He Covers.
What I'm doing is I'm taking Candy and I'm sponge sugar and I'm putting it into a salad
form kind of tricking your eye and your tongue the way I chef would do.
Why am I doing that?
Well, I feel like a gastronomy.
Exactly.
Why am I indulging in this,
Queez and Art, if you will.
I won't.
Because I'm an asshole.
What's like the lead character of our film, Bert.
Yeah.
You said, yeah, you said our film, we didn't make it.
No, we didn't.
In fact, I don't want any ownership. Can we prove, can you prove we didn't make it no we didn't in fact I don't want any ownership can we can can you prove you didn't make it story?
I say director Jim Wells there was there's a period of time where I blacked out and I don't remember very much
I remember I'm covered in blood and
Receipts for making the movie burnt I
Have a vague memory of telling Bradley Cooper to kiss the Nazi soldier from Inglorious Bastards. My god, I made birds. That's the main thing a director does. He just
tells them to do a thing that's in the script. I mean, kind of. Yeah. What part of directing
is not that? It seems like the script is really the driving force between that behind that scene.
Oh, damn. You think that because you're a writer, but you're so naive.
The script is but toilet paper for the director and the actors to wipe their butts with
as they make up a new story called
Burnt rated R. You're used to the word fuck twice.
So we watched this movie tonight.
So this was a Bradley Cooper vehicle.
How many Bradley Cooper films will we see on this video now?
At least one about where he didn't have any limits.
Valentine's Day.
The one where he took a pill.
The one where he bid hello and goodbye to Hawaii in a
low-haw. Limitless. Shit. I forgot about a low-haw. Yeah, me too. It's a great word.
It means two things. So a low-haw. We just did that one day. That was four episodes ago.
How did I forget? You had a pretty severe blow on the head from that pineapple afterwards though.
Why did I take a nap under that pineapple tree?
I told you it was a bad idea,
but I wanted an upside down cake.
And part of the recipe was have a guy see me wonder it.
What magic cookbook is this?
Never mind. Never mind. It was a cookbook that was sent in by
The sent in by a listener and I don't have the person's name. I will thank them next episode
but
Lister sent me a Williamsburg
Colonial Williamsburg cookbook and I'm very charmed by these old cookbooks where they have things like
mocked or like,
not mocked, like turtle soup.
If you're making turtle soup in the summer,
kill the turtle at dawn and the winter
kill the turtle at night.
And I just love these old recipes.
Only find a turtle that is crawled across,
across roads were a burglar was on. That's right. I mean,
turtle soup is delicious. And their flesh tastes way better, depending on when you kill
it. Okay. I mean, yeah, kind of like humans. I wouldn't know, Dan. You got to get them
when they're young. So we watched this movie burnt with our boy kids with our boy Brad Coops. Yeah, yeah, a guy who I mean he
has been a movie to put it in a short hand. We were hanging with Mr Cooper. As is our
wants to do. Now this movie, let's just say this like man, like the other Bradley Cooper
movies we've seen the show except for limitless. There was no fantastical element. There was
no horror or science fiction
or action theme to it.
It was just the story of one chef trying to claw his way back
to the top by being a total douche to everybody.
Yeah, and apparently his problem was in the past,
he was a douche.
And the only way he can fix this
is by being a different kind of douche.
Yeah.
A literal douche. What? He opens up the giant cleaning place.
He opens up a giant cleaning place. What if that was a three-stooge's short,
like instead of being flummers, they were professional tutors.
That Dowager would have a lot more to complain about.
That Dowager would have a lot more to complain about. I'm just imagining like a strip mall.
It just has a good sign that says, the vagina cleaning spot.
Yeah.
Honey, I'm going to step into lead sprafters if you want to go into the vagina.
I'm going to go into a beyond vape.
You can go into there.
I'm going to go sob into a bedbath and beyond clean vagina.
Because that's what you get.
In the bath.
Yeah.
Let's talk about the movie.
So we open Bradley Cooper is living in Nolens.
Uh huh.
And he's a fry cook somewhere.
Shocking oysters away.
He's shocking oysters.
And he counts in a little book all the oysters
that he shucks. Now somewhere Nicholas Cage is dealing with some stuff. Oh, a little money.
He was stolen gold and his daughter was kidnapped. My mistake. But I thought he burned the money.
That was he did burn the money. Yeah, he burnt the money early in the flashback.
Which forces him to steal the gold. Yeah, which is to
To get the girl. Yeah to catch the kid
Eventually, I mean it was all will yeah, I'm chilling reminder. So he's hey, it makes
I'm so much sweeter wait this moment hold on guys don't talk
We just experienced a moment of life and it's most basic no talking no thinking just existing and we only have a limited number of
And I guess
Max fun dot org slash donate
Is that still a thing that's happening?
Yeah, I'm sure they can still do that.
Okay, so Bradley Cooper, he sucks his one millionth oyster
and then abruptly-
He's been keeping a towel here.
Keeping a towel, he's like-
Like a mole scion.
Is it literally a million oysters?
He could have shucked a million oysters.
He was a million oysters.
No one could shuck a million oysters.
It took him a long time.
Well, I was like-
He didn't do it like one day.
Like a shuckifying machine. Like, and Dr.
Suss is unpublished, unpublished failure.
Bartholomew blinks,
Oster shucking machine.
You would have thought he would have come up with a better day.
This is why I was so republished.
Dr. Suss is unpublished.
Shuck a fuck of oyster.
Is adult.
He briefly worked
and went into adult poetry.
That's right.
And oyster all shuck,
and then she I will fucks and the man
with the Effredeasy act grim.
Can I pick him up?
Yeah.
And there was the man from Gnoregola Hex,
who thought about nothing all day,
but just sex
It's very easy to write dirty doctors Is rhymes
Yeah, you can make up whatever it's easy turns out it's easy to be a poet
We can make up whatever word you want
When you're not restricted to the actual words in the English language
It opens up a world of possible rhymes just getting it was a genius anyway
So he walks out on his job and then apparently walks from New Orleans to England.
Yep.
Where in London he meets up with a whole cast of characters that he knew in his previous
life as a superstar bad boy chef.
Whole cast of actors who are kind of slumming it I guess.
I don't know.
I mean it's not.
I mean his movie was supposed to be I think a big.
It's not a good movie, but I don't even know what that this is a throwback movie.
Okay.
But one thing I like about it, this is a throwback movie to the era of like movies about
people.
Yeah.
Well, that's right.
It is a throwback to an era of movies about people.
Well, the movies about people where there's no action, there's no like the stakes are relatively
low and that it's just a person's life.
Yeah.
Like the kind of movies that James L. Brooks made so well.
Yeah, sure.
Like it's a throwback to,
I don't think it was this was supposed to be like
a $500 million movie, but it's not very good.
Like, they're not slumming it, it's not very good.
They thought, I mean, I just meant they thought
it was gonna be maybe an awards contender.
I feel like that's the only reason why
these movies get made anymore is that they think
that they might get awards, which is.
I mean, do you think that's the case for that's just like
our percent?
Like, are we just being pessimists and assuming that?
I'm sure that the actors like me
in movies where they can play parts
and don't have to do stunts.
Like as soon as you see a drama for adults,
you're like, oh yeah, whatever, just pandering to the
and then the jokes on them,
because you win Oscars for getting attacked by a CGI bear.
I genuinely feel like that might be true these days,
though, with the economics of movie making.
It's either an indie movie,
or it's a blockbuster movie,
or it's a movie that's designed to try and get
some sort of awards attention.
And that, I'm not upset about that.
That's why I don't mind that awards exist,
because that means that we get movies
that are a different kind of movies.
I mean, that's not that different
from the way the old studio system worked,
where you would have, they would make their blockbuster films
and when they're money making films
and then they'd have their prestige pictures
that were just meant to make the studio look good
and not necessarily make a ton of money.
Like they'd pour money into like a Shakespeare adaptation
or something.
No, you're right.
I'm being guilty of that thing.
What's the role that I have?
Which is like,
Well, that's not a bloodshed,
but it's a different system.
I'm being guilty of that thing that I hate,
which is believing that there was a time
that was better than this time.
Oh, in terms of filmmaking,
there were many times that were better than this time.
Yeah, all right.
Listen to Elliot's fucking recommendations for a change.
Thank you.
I mean, the difference is that back during that studio system,
the studio's churned out so many dozens,
if not hundreds of movies,
that there was a higher average of movies that were good,
whereas now, and there was a lot of crap,
but there was more that was good.
And all the best talent was locked into
slave-like seven-year contracts,
where they had no control over what they could make.
The movies, then they had their later errorsas where there was more freedom and filmmaking or
supposedly, but now it's the era where it's just like everything's got to make a billion
dollars or win an award or not get made.
But winning an award is part of I'm assuming the purpose of making a movie that wins an award
is that it will also help it make money.
It definitely good.
It's supposed to boost the money that it makes, but you can also, there's that belief that like,
this one doesn't necessarily make money,
but if someone's billed as Academy Award winner,
Academy Award nominee in this other movie,
that will help with that one, get attention.
Like awards are a marketing thing.
Yeah, I get, yeah, I guess that makes sense.
But anyway, Burns didn't win any awards.
It was nominated for none.
It's not very good.
So he comes back to Bradley Cooper,
comes back to London, where all these people
he knew in Paris are now living.
He was the, what, I guess, executive chef.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know how to talk bad boy chef
at a restaurant by a famous older chef named John Luke.
I think you're right.
What was the name of that waiter in Paris?
John Luke.
I haven't seen that commercial in so long.
Well, it hasn't aired in a long time.
It was a different coffee or tea.
Coffee, I don't think, you know, you know,
just watch old commercials on YouTube.
I do all the time.
Actually, if I had more time, there was a period
when there were a bunch of
compilations on YouTube. They're just called 80s commercials and I would watch like 20 minutes
that worth at a time just be like I remember that one all man that one every now and then a 70s
commercial would slip in and I'd be like you didn't do your homework you did lately. I just keep
seeing commercials for fucking time Warner cable where they basically are saying, hey, you know,
you used to be able to make a date with the time-warner guy, and you could do whatever
you wanted because it took him forever.
Well, now you're not off the hook anymore.
Now you have to go to work, lazy slabs, and it's like, fuck you, dude!
You wore a shitty ear jobs, and now you think you're less shitty.
Don't put that on me, bro.
Don't make me the bad guy.
That's like the commercial I hated the most recently, where they're like all through February,
Subway's Footlong, they're only $6.
It's like, fuck you.
Like, we don't remember that there were $5 all the time before.
Don't try and make this like a special deal.
I'm trying to think what commercials nowadays I hate, but I just fast forward through all of them.
Yeah.
Those Zoom Zoom ads, they're supposed to do those
where the kid goes Zoom Zoom.
At least Domino's had the goddamn fucking balls
to admit their pizza was shitty.
I wish that I was.
I wish that I was.
Hands off to you, Domino's.
We know.
We know the cap to you guys.
You can pour as much money into anti-abortion causes
as you want now, Dominoes.
I guess that was just the founder of Dominoes, he does that.
Yep.
It's not like the, it's not like when you give them money
to the delivery guy who puts it into tube,
which takes it to like someone who blows up abortion clinics.
Like someone who's about to commit an abortion
and you get to the money and he's like, oh, sorry.
Never mind.
Maybe if you could pay me a little more.
The noise is clearly a fiddly failed abortionist stereotype.
Anyway, we've touched on a lot during this episode, but very little on the movie.
He goes to a lot of feelings, a lot of thoughts.
He goes to London and first he goes to a hotel run by a guy named Tony played by the Nazi soldier from glorious bastards.
And Tony is one of many old cohorts that he's going to try to corral into helping him get back to where he was.
Turns out he's been sober for two years.
And now he's ready to go after the third Michelin star because he was a two star Michelin chef.
Now I always thought that by the Michelin man.
At one point they do go when the Michelin man comes into the restaurant. It's like do not promise something the
movie will not fulfill which is that bebendome will walk into the restaurant.
We like a trench coat and glasses and a hand like the fucking thing. He's a mom. I'm like for my poker game. I don't even think.
I don't even think.
The big Stokey cigar.
The gate throw around those $5 words, big brains.
Anyway, get me some duck coffee.
I got a test to eat for my road guide.
Get me some rubber coffee.
Why is he eating what he's made out of?
Why would he eat duck?
Because it's delicious. Why? Why would he eat duck? Because it's delicious.
Why does it take Tirey to duck?
Didn't you ever see that movie, Rubber?
Oh, okay.
Who knows what that Tire's gonna do?
That's right, yeah.
Who knows what that wacky Tirey might do next?
I mean, it was kind of the subtext of the movie.
Yeah, I think that was the line on the poster.
Yeah.
It was called Tires Day Out. Anyway, look who's tired now. Feeling tired?
Not yet. Watch Remember. It will put you to a sleaze. Says Snoot Dogg in his genre movies review column in syniscope I guess
Anyway, so
What a huge get that snoop dog is writing this column for fangoria
Did he sponsor those this horror movies? Yeah, he sponsored them. Yeah, he told the horror movies. Yeah, his name was all over their cars. He told those horror movies that they walked to
certain number of miles. You put a dollar in a can. Yeah. You put Snoop Dogg had those
horror movies, right? Yeah, yeah. It was, it was, it was, it was like, it was like, it
was on one of the, it was like, it's like, it's tails from the dog pound or something
like that, or tails from the, he'd just hand it handed a lot of pies. Well, there was bones the movie he's in.
They get a bone and the murder was and the murder was the case video.
Anyway, so he finds the head of this hotel who is,
was he this, I don't remember what his relationship was, they all worked at this
restaurant. Yeah, the legendary Jean-Lucquist, since Died,
is now, was running.
And his daughter was going out with Bradley Cooper,
Bradley Cooper, skipped out of town
after some kind of blow up involving him.
He's clearly like a figure of legend.
He's, yeah, he's, everyone remembers him.
Everyone's like, I thought you were dead.
I thought you killed yourself by that.
Yeah, he was like a drunk and a heroin addict.
He's slowly throughout the movie.
He starts putting on another jacket and then at one scene, he's riding a motorcycle and
it's like, okay, so he's just kind of shelf Wolverine.
This Wolverine already has knives that come out of his hands.
Just go all the way and make him a chef who has knives that come out of his hands for
cutting things.
But he's, he wants, he's a, here's the thing.
He's driven by his demons.
The reason he did all those drugs
and that he seduced the boss's daughter
and then broke up with her and ran out of the country
is that he's driven to find perfection in food.
And whenever he's confronted
with the imperfect quality of reality,
he can't take it and he collapses.
Sounds like an interesting character, right?
You'd be wrong, he's very boring.
Instead, he's smugged.
Not easy to sympathize with.
Not at all. He smugs his way through every scene. Anything he wants, he almost instantly
gets. Characters who have every reason to be mad at him just kind of roll over for him.
Only one of whom is planning an elaborate revenge plot that will unfold later. And so over
that one of them is a guy who, his sous chef, Michelle from the restaurant, who's, it's a man's
name. It's French. He's not, it's not Mary, it's really all-
He's just reminding me.
I mean, I'm talking to listeners,
we even are looking at you, Stuart.
He goes, he goes on the opening night
of my restaurant in Paris, you call the health inspector,
and then released rats in my restaurant.
And Bradley Cooper's like, yeah, I was a scamp.
Which is crazy.
And Bradley Cooper does a lot of pontificating about food and how important it is.
At one point, he tells his chefs, I want people after they eat here to never want to eat
again.
Yeah.
Which seems like a weird goal.
No, you don't, you don't, you don't repeat business.
You want to, you want to tear your tongue out because you never want less good food to
cross it in the future. Just like, you're like, Sam Neel in Event Horizon, but with your tongue instead of your eye.
Where we're going, we won't need tongues.
I don't weird line that little thing.
Like where are we going, Sam Neel?
Why are you saying that? Because you're clearly talking with a tongue.
It's not like he's speaking in...
Well, I needed the tongue to tell you this and then I was going to take it out.
He decides he's going to. Well, I needed the time to tell you this and then I was gonna take it out. He decides he's gonna start his own restaurant.
He's in competition with what's his name
from the Americans.
Who was always like,
who was always the salieri to his Mozart,
which they literally say.
And now, because I guess he wasn't a drug addicted fool,
he has a big restaurant that looks like heaven
because it's all white walls and white plates.
Or a genius bar.
One or the other.
Have you ever had a genius bar?
It's delicious and you feel smarter afterwards.
The secret, it's full of limitless.
What is it?
It's even ingredient of limitless.
Okay, you got me with the limitless reference.
He also...
Limitless.
He meets a lady chef played by... Sianna Miller. He got me with the limitless reference. He also. Limitless.
He meets a lady chef played by.
She in a Miller.
She in a Miller who at first does not want to work for him because he's a jerk.
But then she has to work for him because he arranges for her to be fired by her boss to
go work at his restaurant.
And long story short, he's a jerk to everybody.
He assembles his team of chefs as if he's putting
together a heist for a very boring movie, which he's, like the movie, he references Seven Tamerai.
He says he wants his chefs to be like Seven Tamerai, meaning I assume that by the end of the film,
all but three will have died. He references this to Emma Thompson, by the way, who is employed to
make sure that he stays off the drugs. Yeah, she's a therapist and she gives him drug tests and picks up a paycheck for probably
like three days.
Which I just mentioned to show how overqualified the cast for this movie is.
Lawrence Olivier is in this movie.
Yeah.
And he doesn't even appear on camera.
You just know he's around.
They just had his bones on set.
Yeah, just like the show bones,
or that Snoop Dogg movie bones,
starring Lawrence Olivier as the bones.
They put the restaurant together.
We learn what a sous-vie machine is.
Yeah, he's been so out of the game,
he doesn't know what sous-vie is.
He doesn't seem to know that much about being a chef,
for being a superstar chef.
Unfortunately, when they're about to open the restaurant,
a reporter got a leaked copy of his menu
and wrote a bad review of the menu.
And so a couple of tables don't show up.
And the staff of the restaurant
is not yet a fully cohesive team.
And Bradley Cooper loses his shit.
And he starts throwing plates all over the place
and getting really mad.
Is that when he throws the plates round?
Or is it like that?
Yeah, he throws the plates round.
He throws plates around.
It's one of a couple different blowups that he has.
Allah the film blow up.
Another better movie than this one.
And he says, I'm going
to apologize to everybody who dined here and give them a full refund. Yeah. They don't
address exactly how much these people are being charged for their crazy, uh, like, uh,
like sauce splattered plates, but I'm assuming it's a shitload of hundreds, not thousands.
Um, a thirming in the movie very briefly as a restaurant critic who he
wows and then fails to wow.
Uh, then everything's okay again.
The restaurant goes back to business and everything's going fine.
They get a good review on their second day.
And so everything's good for a little bit until what they think are some
Michelin judges come in.
There's an, yeah, there's an elaborate code where they order half a bottle of wine and
she has a glass of tap water.
Different color of bandanas that they wear in their back pocket.
Yellow bandana means you're a Michelin star judge and red bandana means you're at top.
It spins around.
Yeah, yeah. You're whirling dirt. What did you think I. That spins around. Yeah, yeah.
You're a whirling dirt.
What did you think I meant?
Like a dreidel, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And so, and the, and black means you're a bottom in mid-summer night's dream.
Oh, congratulations.
Yeah, we got the part.
Yeah, we have Shakespeare's immortal comedy of love and magic in the woods of ancient
Greece. Perhaps the most enjoyable part in the woods of ancient Greece.
Perhaps the most enjoyable part in the play.
Bottom for sure.
Yeah.
I mean, if you don't count puck speech at the end, then yes.
Now guys, I don't know if I've ever told you this, but when I was, but a little baby,
my mother was the head of her English department and the theater department, and she was,
she was the director for the high school play,
which was mid-Summer night's dream.
And I got to be the baby in it.
Oh, that's cool.
Wearing a golden diaper.
Wait, where's the baby?
Which is soil.
I forget where the baby is.
Oh, the baby is the one that, the baby's the whole reason
that Obrana Tatania are mad at each other.
I assume it's that baby.
No, it was the other cooler baby. It's a big, it's a fucking stage. Baby. It was a starless.
Baby.
It was a baby Huey.
It was a Lindbergh baby.
So William, you've got to remove the part when enormous retarded duck baby in the diaper,
waddles across the stage and knocks all the scenery down.
It's the heart of the play.
That's the other thing we gotta change the thing.
It's not a mid-summer night's Huey's dream.
They get saved at tardy
because it's Elizabethan England.
They were very, very offensive back then, tasteless.
Now, they, he gets really mad because things don't go
right with the Michelin men.
They send their food back.
He didn't taste the food that went out.
He just asked Michelle if it was good.
He was too busy having suffered a beating
at the hands of some drug dealers.
One of his many sins of the past.
That's right.
The drug dealers want their money back
and they show up every now and then
and this one time they beat him up.
It's just two dollars.
It's like we're better off dead.
Yeah, we'll not give it back.
It's the principle he keeps saying, the principle of the thing.
That's when principle building shows up.
Me?
No, not you Dennis Haskins.
Get out of here.
He's that's right.
He gets beaten up and so he's kind of like, oh, what?
Michelle sends the food out.
They send it back.
They say it's too spicy. It turns out Michelle put pepper in the food as revenge for the rat trick, not hat
trick, which would have been a great achievement.
Three points.
Yeah.
In what sport?
Uh, ho guy.
Oh, sorry, uh, yo guy.
Yeah, the Japanese demons. Mm-hmm.
So, and he walks out, oh, this is bad. And Bradley Cooper goes on another bender.
He wanders off into the night, gets drunk somewhere,
shows up at his rivals restaurant,
and attempts to kill himself by sousvying his own head.
Yeah, he fixes his head in a sousv bag and just,
you know, he just clamps it down basically.
One of many, they're just like wrestling
to get this bag off his head.
It's one of many tantrum scenes from Bradley Cooper.
And, you know, he does an admirable job of freaking out.
I was not that.
I was just adding though, if he had been allowed
to kill himself, his head meat would be so tender.
Well, that's a different version of this movie where I guess the Brian Fuller version of
the movie where he like he sousvies his own head and his enemy serves it and has a bunch
of puns about it.
Mm hmm.
Well, no, no.
And then the critic eats it and is like a million Michelin stars.
A million Michelin.
So how ironic he finally achieved his dream in one form or another.
That's the weirdest cryptie, Broom Regen.
I've never heard of Broom Regen.
It was just kind of like an ironic thing.
He was at the head of his profession.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, I guess so.
I'm just staring up at his picture. You can't see him on the podcast. So, really, I'm so. I'm just staring up at this. You can't see me on the podcast.
So really I'm committing. I didn't know I ordered a head cheese. I'm glad I was sad at the head of the
table. I guess the problem was he didn't have his head in the game. White out. That is the song that I have a great video of my son dancing too while I sing it in an
annoying way.
And he refused to let me stop singing it and I got tired of it before he did.
So I guess they say that the DNA gets pure with every generation.
I'm almost sure I can imagine exactly how he's dancing to that song.
I think you've seen it.
You've seen his pants off kitchen dance, right?
Uh, that makes it sound a lot easier than it was.
Just because my two-year-old son after dinner
will often ask me to take his pants off
so he can dance in the kitchen before he's bathed.
That's the best part is that he needs you.
He requires you to remove those pants.
He gets really mad if I'm not home when he gets home
from playing the afternoon to take his shoes off.
And I'm like, what kind of monster?
But created.
Yeah.
That anyway.
Like I wish that, I mean, I guess I'm-
We wouldn't want someone to take their shoes off
when they get home.
I guess that I have the power, you know,
I'm an adult.
If I want to do a pants off kitchen dance, I can do it.
Anytime you want.
Yeah. Go right now.
But, uh, yeah, you can do it right now.
Nobody will know.
You're right, Josh.
I know.
I mean, I'll, uh, we'll cover my eyes, but I'll wait.
Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna vine it.
I'll be distracting.
Hold on, guys.
Look at him go.
Oh, man. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey's doing it. Oh, propeller, huh?
I didn't realize you were commandowing it, damn.
Uh, so he goes.
That was refreshing, guys.
But he does not succeed in cooking his own head.
Uh, what's the story that's in that po trilogy that Feliney was at the man who sold his own head or the man
of bed his own head never bet your head to the devil something like Jesus I don't know the one with
Terrence stamp in it. Oh, is that Toby Damit? That's the that's the that's the blowering that's
different uh with the anime. I can't remember the name. There's a there's a three there's an
anthology poem movie and Feliney is one of them. I think it's yeah I can't remember what is something about your head and batting or the devil or something.
Anyway, the, uh, Terence stamp is probably Star Wars episode one of Phantom Man. Exactly.
That's exactly what it was. Yes. Uh, so was it Terence stamp? No, I don't know. Not even
sure. Uh, so he does not kill himself instead. His enemy says, Hey, I can't. Now I don't know, I'm not even sure. So he does not kill himself.
Instead, his enemy says, hey, I made you some scrambled eggs.
So he slept it off.
It's the kind of thing.
Yeah, it was a real big night in situation.
And you know what?
Your rivalry is good because it pushes me to try harder
because you're the better chef,
but you're forcing me to challenge myself.
So good on you.
And Bradley Cooper goes back and he learns a valuable lesson
about family because his, because his
a sea enemilia chef makes him cook a cake for her daughter, baking for her daughter's
birthday because she has to work on her daughter's birthday. And they find out it wasn't actually
the Michelin judges that night.
Well, that's that great scene where they were he flirts with her daughter by licking
frosting off his fingers. He serves her a cake and she gives him a piece.
And his daughter is, by the way, like,
I ate, I would say maybe.
Ain't half another flini reference.
Anyway, yeah, she's a little kid and he's like,
look, the thing is Bradley Cooper,
oh, here's what I was gonna say before.
But he also, Bradley Cooper doesn't know how to play adorable.
He just doesn't have to play smoldering.
So he's just got his heavy-leaded blue eyes
looking up at this little girl
as he licks frosting off his fingers. It's disgusting like it's supposed to be playful. It does not
No, it comes off as like Humbert Humbert would be like you're grossing me out. This is disgusting
I mean inherently looking frosting off. I don't know if there's a I mean like the way he does it and adult looking at a child looking frosting off of the fingers.
I don't know if there's a way of doing that. That's not creepy.
Creepy. But here's the thing about Bradley Cooper. He plays a man who was losing control
in a in in a rage field way very well. Like I don't know anything about his personal life,
but he plays it like a guy who knows what it feels like to do that and is able to channel it for roles.
And like, I think he was so good in Silver Lining's playbook partly because he seems to know what it feels like to not totally being control of yourself and be able to really have that experience.
And that's really good acting.
I wish he had brought some of that to Aloha, which he didn't.
And that was like one of the big weaknesses of that movie.
Yeah.
But he brings in the script.
Yeah.
Whereas here, the weakness is mainly just the script.
Yeah.
But he finds that it wasn't the real Michelin ones.
It's already been established that Tony, who is the guy who runs the hotel with the restaurant
is.
Has Tony done it again.
What?
It feels good.
Tony, Tony, Tony.
He, uh, that he has a crush on Bradley Cooper.
He tells Bradley Cooper they weren't Michelin judges.
They were software engineers from Birmingham.
Bradley Cooper is so happy.
He kisses Tony, which is kind of cruel.
It's like, you're gay.
You have a crush on me.
I'm going to kiss you once and just know it's never going to happen again.
I'm throwing you a bone, buddy.
Here you go.
But, no, it's the opposite of throwing him a bone.
He just, well, not the opposite, but it's like,
he just throws him a lips.
Yeah, that's right.
He throws his lips at him.
Bradley Cooper falls in love with Sianna Miller's
sous chef character.
And or whatever she is, chef to whatever.
Yeah, Kelsey Parise, dude.
And she's called her sous chef.
Over the, terrible.
I wish I thought of it.
And over the course of the next montage,
he learns to be a better person.
He starts working as a team mate with his chef guys.
And then the real, his chef team, his chef.
Five chef guys.
Yeah.
He, the real Michelin judges come in.
And he says, what do they do?
What do we do?
And Brother Leckerber says, we're just going to do what we do, like we do every day.
And-
So he's not chasing that star anymore, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He realized, you know what this about?
Food is about people because he's Hannibal, the cannibal.
Oh, okay.
And he's going to cook his own head and eat it yourself.
The ultimate decadence would be to eat your own head. But he realizes,
you know what? It's okay to rely on people. And this is what family is all about. Hey, everybody,
let's make ourselves a big meal in the kitchen because we're great chefs. We should eat some of it.
The end. Do we? And we do, I don't think we find out
if he gets the Michelin star.
No, we do.
This is like a workless scene where like
you just get the idea that something good happened.
Yeah.
But they could just as well be smiling
because they had a good night working together.
Yeah.
A big night, if you will.
So watch big night instead of the smoothie.
Yeah, that's what he was telling them.
He's like, hey, buddy, I watch big night telling him. He's like, hey buddy, I watched Big Night last night.
He's like, I love that movie.
Yeah, this is...
So you got a movie about a character who has a history of drug addiction and anger and
rage problems and is trying to reestablish himself professionally.
And we meet that character after he is theoretically gotten over that stuff.
He's hit rock bottom and he's gone through his repentance in a tomot which I assume is this
shucking of a million oysters. Yeah. And so now he should be well on the road to being a better
person. He is not. And yet we don't see him when he's at his worst and yet we don't see him
struggle to become better. He just, everything just kind of happens.
Do you think of this as a heist movie instead of a chef movie,
his weird overconfidence and like,
like, delibness would work?
I don't think so, because my problem with the movie
isn't even his overconfidence and his glibness.
It's that there are little
to no obstacles in his path.
And any that arise, he overcomes almost instantly
sometimes by throwing a tantrum.
Yeah, I mean, the total lack of stakes bothered me.
I wish they'd, he keeps mentioning that.
You never could.
Stake.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, what's gonna get burned if all you're doing
is throwing shit in the fucking water bath.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. So, but so the part of the point is that this character has realized that is like team
or his family, but aside from seeing a Miller's character, we don't really see anybody else
outside work really.
No, he knows a couple scenes where he picks people up to join the team and we never see
him interact with them in a meaningful way again unless he's yelling at them.
The only person who like the story of this movie seems to really affect is him.
Yeah.
We don't know what would happen if they don't do well in the kitchen.
Like, are people going to starve? Is the restaurant going to go out of business?
I mean, I'm glad that they didn't set up the stake so high
that everyone in the restaurant needed this
and there was like 10 stories of woe or something.
But yeah, it would have been,
it would have been,
so it's like a well-ized air comic.
The restaurant, colon 10 stories of woe.
And everyone's yet to.
That's a Jewish daily.
I don't know why I was thinking that it was 10 stories of low, like, like, uh, apartment with 10 stories.
Yeah, yeah, it's a super sad apartment building.
Yeah.
All right.
But, uh,
Well, like, the side of the way stories from way sides,
you know, the side of the way, you know, the side of the way.
The side stories from way sides, the side of the way.
The side of the way stories.
Hmm.
This, this student killed themselves.
The side stories from way sides, school.
Well, that's, is that one of the whole stories? Like, on one page, that's all it's, stories. This student killed themselves. Sad stories from wayside school.
Is that one of the whole stories? Like on one page, that's all it's.
But there's just there's never a moment when you don't, when you worry about any of the characters, but especially not the hero. And like if he was an asshole, but the movie made him pay for it,
I would be, I would be okay with that.
And yet even the fact that he gets beaten up by drug dealers and
It doesn't almost doesn't get a Michelin star like it never felt like he was being punished for his sins or working to really improve himself.
I was surprised at how
How sympathetic the Tony character was. Yeah, Like that character I cared about a little bit.
The character, two characters honestly that I felt an emotional connection to were Tony,
who is reluctantly pulled back into Bradley Cooper's orbit and wishes he knew how to quit
him.
Yeah.
And his rival, Matthew Reese.
Matthew, I can never remember Matthew Reese's first name.
You're sympathetic with because he had such terrible goatee. Yes, because he,
because they had to ugly him up because he's such a charismatic actor with that gross,
go with that gross mustache and stubble. But I feel like his in the few scenes he's in,
he sketched in a character of someone who is who always has always been second place
and could only become first when the other guy destroyed himself
That it was like oh this is a guy who is is living with the disappointment of like he's never gonna be the best
He is the Dave Mustang of these characters
That's for putting in the words I understand like mega death is is a great is great
But they're never gonna be as big as Metallica and he could have been in Metallica
If he hadn't pissed everybody off and been so mean
to, was it Hatfield's dog, somebody's dog.
Yeah, it was Dave Mustaine's dog, was it Batman?
The joke, the joke is that he was a mean drunk
and everybody else in the band was a fun drunk.
Yeah.
We should wrap things up.
We should get onto final judgments whether this is...
Let's wrap it up in a pastry shell.
Good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie kind of like, I'll start and say like,
I had a hard time with this episode.
I don't know that there's like a lot of like funny shit
to say about it.
We had to put some tattoos.
Yeah, like, because...
No, it's probably terrible.
Well, no, I just, I kinda like this movie guys.
Hey, that's okay.
You should have spoken up for it. No. No, slag in it. I mean, look, look, I just, I don't, I kind of like this movie guys. Hey, that's okay. You should have spoken up for it.
No, slag in it.
I mean, look, look, they came for burnt and I said nothing because I was not burnt.
Then they came for what's another movie you like that you're ashamed of?
Probably some sex movie.
Then they came for the great bikini off-road adventure.
And I said nothing because I was not the great bikini off-road adventure.
And then they came for me and I'm not a movie. I'm damn. Wow twist ending.
The twistiest. He's a damn the whole time. No, I kind of liked it. I thought that
all of the acting was good. I understand that the character, like the main character
was totally unlikable but for some reason I still, like it was, I mean, I know I do what you're saying
This is not a bad movie and it's not a it went down kind of easy for me
And like I think that if you are someone who cooks a lot which I do it's like the night's or cooks a lot
And no, I just like the food looks good and all of like the stuff surrounding the food like I
Think it definitely hurt my it hurt my liking of it that I am done with the overdone, if you will,
with the idea of a bad boy chef and watching a lot of food porn scenes of food being cut
up and cooked.
I don't like food enough that I still get a thrill out of that.
I'm not enamored of the idea of like celebrity chefs or bad boy chefs.
So like it had some marks against me right there.
A lot of that stuff I still like.
So.
I mean, there's plenty of movies about jobs and worlds that I'm not interested in that I
find the movie interesting.
But this wasn't a terrible movie.
It's just, it's just like a two star movie, you know?
Yeah.
If you watch it with your mom on a rainy day, it's going to be fine.
And maybe, I mean, maybe if I had seen this movie before that John Favreau's chef, which
I thought I think handles that the basically the exact same arc a little bit better and
it's a little bit more fun.
It's more fun.
Yeah. Yeah, a little bit better and it's a little bit. It's more fun. It's funnier. Yeah John Favreau is not a
like
Essentially an adonis who everybody is in awe of in every scene. So like that helps too
He also had more
He had more scars on his hands. They put more makeup effect burns and scars on his arms every time he tweets it flies away
yep, and
Yeah, Bradley Cooper scared her to never enough tattoos almost that very few people movie at tattoos Which is weird because chefs are covered in tattoos. Yeah, that's how it's like a hobo code
I would say Ray Bradbury is the illustrated man was about a chef. I would say I would say this is a bad bad movie, but I
can like I could see if I had heard that this
movie had been like actually had been nominated for an award, I would kind of get it, but I
don't, I didn't particularly care for it.
There you go.
Bad, bad, kind of liked, and I don't know that it falls into our classification system.
Hello Brent!
Travis!
Welcome to Trends Like These!
What's Trends Like These you ask?
Well it's a podcast where we take the news trending on the internet and we cover it in
podcast form.
We go beyond the headlines, beyond the memes to bring you the real story so that when your friends bring it up you can look real smart. We take
things that need to be debunked and we debunked them and then we take things
that need to be re-bunked and we re-bunked them. We bring you all the details and
we give you a spin on it. Our opinions, our thoughts, and we also try to dig up
some positive things to talk about so it's not all bummers. Just a couple of
real-life friends talking internet trends. So join us every Thursday on MaximumFun.org and wherever podcasts are found.
We do have a couple of sponsors who helped keep the lights on around the old flap house.
Snoop Dogg.
Much like those horror movies.
He says, he says, no, he doesn't say anything.
I was going to do something.
Yeah, Snoop Dogg doesn't say anything.
He's a rapper, damn.
His mouth is his instrument.
You're right.
It's already puts his mouth on. I'm ashamed. No, the flop house is supported in
spark and in sport.
It's supported in sparta by that big hole. They throw all the versions into they say this is a shitty movie and they throw them what 300. That's right. That's a fun movie
This is you don't have a movie where a guy hurls a spear into a rhinoceros his eye and then it slides across the sand and just
Stopped at his feet. Zack Snyder is a
Visionary director
according to movie posters
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Now Dan, I have a question anything you want to talk about?
Yeah, what I want to talk about was this great idea.
You're gonna catch me.
Now, it's called chimp showers.com.
Dan, has this ever happened to you and I'm sure it has?
If you're like me, you want a place
where you can always reliably turn on a webcam with a chimp,
where you can turn a shower on by the internet
and it will get the chimp wet.
It's called chimp showers.com, the chimp's love it
because they love getting clean.
But here's the thing, how about-
I have a terrible feeling that this is sexual in some way.
Nothing sexual about it, Dan.
This is purely about using the power
of the information super highway to keep chimp's clean
and have a little bit of fun while you do it.
Now, I've been having trouble putting the site together.
So who turns the water on?
It's connected to the internet.
So click on.
Oh, okay.
And it pours on the champ and the champ smile.
Oh, he's going crazy.
Yeah, he just takes the shower
and you can turn it on and off.
They hate that.
Turn it on and leave it on until they're done with the shower.
Now, will Squarespace help me build that site?
It will, I mean, I think that some of the technical things,
like, you know, being able to connect a website
to a shower that turns out.
I have that technology.
I just don't know how to put it on the internet.
Oh, yeah.
If you just need the HTML coding,
then Squarespace is the place for you.
Do I need to know coding?
You don't need to know coding.
I think the key would be, if I'm gonna wanna see a chimp
take a shower and control the water flow, I'm gonna wanna be able to do that on the go. I'm gonna wanna see a chimp take a shower and
control the water flow, I'm gonna wanna be able to do that on the go.
I'm gonna wanna be able to use that on my mobile device.
Thank you.
You were in luck because Squarespace has responsive design that means that any
website looks great on any device.
A tablet, a phone, your laptop, if you're jacked into the matrix.
So, yes, it might be our goggles.
So you're walking a work, you're So, yes, you might be our goggles.
So you're walking to work, you're like,
I don't know how I'm gonna get through today.
Oh wait, let me watch a chimp take a shower.
Boom.
Boom on your phone.
Now, there's also the spin-off site,
chimpgoldenshours.com.
We've rented out Uncle Scrooge's actual money vent.
Oh wow.
And we turned it into a big shower for chimp's to use.
Okay.
It's a little weird that chimp's find it cold
to be standing on all those cash coins, but I think they'll get used to it.
Like cold in a spiritual sense or in a physical sense?
Because they feel like life is not about material possessions and filthy lucre. Life is about keeping clean spiritually and also with your fur in a shower.
And so, Squarespace, where would I go to get like a discount on my first month or something? I don't actually know that we have one of those, so...
But we might, if you go to squarespace.com slash flop,
well, for the free trial, that's good enough.
It's possible that there's a discount.
Okay, well, there's a free...
You might have gotten a little too excited
instead of thing that might actually not be true.
All right, well forget that part.
You can cut that out, right? I could, but I'm probably too late. Instead of saying that it might actually not be true. All right, well forget that part.
You can cut that out, right?
I could, but I'm probably too lazy.
Well, for a free trial, I can go to
squarespace.com slash flop, right?
You can.
Okay, chimp showers.com, it's the way the future
for bathing chimps, that's for sure.
Let's say you got a chimp at home, you're at work,
you're chimp's dirty, you can't drive home to watch it.
No.
Hook it up to your home chimp shower,
and we don't know how to do that yet,
but we're trying to set up the technology.
Yeah, baby steps.
Yeah, and as they always say,
bathe that chimp square space.
We do have one more sponsor tonight.
chimp showers.com.
What the fuck?
You made a joke.
Oh man.
This is just like Facebook all over again.
Mine was a book of faces.
From my enemies.
You're a kid.
It's called a yearbook.
I hate it all the kids at school.
The flop house tonight is supported in part by Casper, an online retailer premium, obsessively
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You can go to Casper.com slash flop and use promo code flop at checkout.
Now terms and conditions do apply as they always will.
But that's a great deal because I myself sleep on a Casper mattress.
And how do you like it?
It is a delight.
You look well rested.
You do.
Mm-hmm.
How much do you bench?
I don't know, man.
Oh, well, what's how it went the mattress then.
I probably could bench the mattress.
Is it that light?
Yeah, it is that light.
So, Dan, I hear the way you open it and it kind of folds out.
Yeah.
How did that work?
Was it, it did make cool noises like,
it did it, it did it, it did it,
bust open the windows of the car that you opened to them.
It comes in a big old box.
It's this is what, a fat brother's movie?
Yeah.
Or fat boys, not fat brothers, or brothers.
They're just boys.
Can I'm in a box that, uh, looks.
We'll slow down point, Daxter.
Wait too small to contain a mattress and you take it out.
And it shows up and you're like,
this can't be my mattress.
This must be an apology.
You won't fall for not having my mattress. Yeah, it's out of stock.
You get away. Don't I?
But luckily it's never out of stock. It shows up.
And then what it expands doesn't make a noise like
yeah it goes
You know it's working when you hear that.
And so Dan how did you see all that's trapped inside your mattress?
Oh, production of the seagull.
It's right.
Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
Check-offs.
Jonathan Livingston checked-offs the seagull.
So, what does it feel like to touch a woman?
Angels.
How does, I, and other things, and archie seems to, that could mean anything though. And does Archie like it too?
Archie's a cat.
Aren't you seeing Salik with me on the bed and he seems well rested because he's a little
fucking scam.
It causes a lot of trouble.
Yeah, that's the thing about scamps.
They're very well-rested.
Dennis the men is never saw bags under his eyes.
He flipped air as the neighborhood,
but he always got 10 hours a day.
Yeah, the sleep of the GS.
He run around like a maniac,
so he probably got some sleep.
I don't have the energy that RTS has, so.
Well, he is a young cat and you are an old man.
That's true.
Casper mattresses.
So Casper mattresses, the young, the old,
the cat, the human, they all love it.
Use the promo code flop at checkout
to get $50 toward your mattress purchase.
That's a good discount.
That's a great discount.
Yeah.
We have before we move on, we have a couple of other messages.
We have some messages on the jumbo tron.
jumbo tron.
Just damn.
Just damn.
Dan and Archie.
Kiss.
You probably just kiss Archie.
And that's okay.
He's your pet.
I kiss Archie all the time. Yeah. Not on the lips though. He's got
fishy breath. He's got cat herpes. Oh, no. I got that. Herpes. Herpes. Herpes. Your enthusiasm.
So this first jumbo tron messages from love you like crazy podcast
now carry and jake are two friends who
every so often give each other a call and talk about young adult fiction
then release the resulting free
freewheeling conversations as a podcast
the flop house is definitely an inspiration
in their first episode they talked about
awoken,
which is like twilight except,
instead of the male lead being a vampire,
he's Kthulu, a sort of squid monster,
old god monster guy.
So why don't you go down and subscribe to love you like crazy
podcast, that's love, spelled like the word love,
yeah, spelled like the divine yeah,
yeah, sisterhood. Just one yeah. Like crazy. Like the gods must be crazy podcast on iTunes or wherever
or listen to it on love you like crazy.com. We've got another jumbo tron message. This one is more
of the personal type. Do we say who the message
is foreign, who it's from? Yeah, you should. This message is for Devin Ruland. Roland,
it's spelled R-U-E-L-L-A-N-D. Roland, Roland.
The dark tower. Serious. Serious, Dan. I'm trying to do this man's name justice.
And he probably doesn't want you to talk about your own gunsling or fanfick that you've been writing where Roland finds the what's the guy that he the man in black and they settle their problems through a game of you Wait, is that what happened in the dark hours? Dan's version.
Now, if Devon is not a man and is a woman, I apologize.
I've both mispronounced the name and whatever.
Anyway, Devon Roland, who is this message from?
His lady love Emily says his right there.
Turns out Devon is a man.
Anyway.
I'm peeling the layers, this fucking on again. I'm peeling the layers and I'm fucking on again.
I'm learning it step by step.
Now Emily says to Devon, although it is deeply flawed in many ways, I will concede that
interstellar is a rather fine film.
Happy birthday Dev, you make my life brighter every day.
PS, I thought this would be the best way to wish you a happy birthday since you were the
one who introduced me to the flop house in the first dang place.
That's very sweet.
Thanks for using the Drumbotron Emily, Devon, happy birthday, interstellar.
It sounds like you guys hadn't argued about it, so it did me and my wife who I love deeply.
So I guess interstellar is the movie that brings people together to your wife Christopher
Nolan.
I'm genuinely curious who took which position on the understeller.
Oh, I liked it and she didn't like it.
Yeah.
All right.
Uh, yeah.
My wife and I were both kind of lukewarm on it.
And then the next day, we're like, oh, wow, we're still thinking about this, huh?
Mm-hmm.
Stuck with the way home or, you know,
in that it's out of the park.
Sports joke.
Did it it it it it now is the time on the podcast where we read some letters from listeners.
Listeners like you question mark.
Could be.
Did you send something in?
Then you might be one of these people, but if not, probably not, because I don't have psychic
powers.
Anyway, that's my introduction to the concept of reading letters.
No song necessary.
So this first letter, it's truck dumb.
This first letter.
It's from Jim, my name with hell, too.
What Devon to write in and tell me how to pronounce his last name?
I feel like I want to get the pronunciation right.
All right, I mean, I'm sure.
You can send in one of those wave files.
No, just spell it phonetically. That's right. I guess that yeah, sure. You can send in one of those wave files.
No, just spell it phonetically.
That's right.
I guess that would be easier.
So if you're listening to Evan call in with a wave file.
To 1-800-flop number.
We'll just be quiet and wait by the phone because I don't want to miss the call.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
We don't have answering machines.
So this is from Jen Lysen with Health. Hey, we don't have answering machines. Um, so this is from Jen Lysen with
health. My boyfriend says that asked prudence gets a ton of mail. So I'm asking you to,
my parents have invited asking us to ask prudence gets a ton of mail. I say, yeah,
totally popular. My parents have invited my agnostic boyfriend to church a couple of times
and he's declined each time. I'm a Christian and I think he should not go
because he's not interested in church
and I'm not interested in converting him.
Unfortunately, my parents will probably...
It's very open-minded.
My parents will probably discourage our relationship
that they find out he's agnostic.
My boyfriend is willing to pretend he's Christian
but I don't think he should have to.
I have doubts that he will be convincing.
I can tell my parents the truth or continue
making my excuses for why you can't make it. But this isn't going away. Tonight my
mom invited him to a nativity performance. What should I do, flop house? Also, my boyfriend
loves the podcast interviews. Way too late. I'm working my way through the archives, listening
to you guys at work, we're both huge fans of the show and watch the cast of Breaks Together.
Thanks guys, Jen last name withheld. I I mean if you still believe in a god after watching Castle Freak and that god's name isn't Jeffrey Coms
I like what's going on now be careful with going back through our back catalog because it gets a little see me
I like this. I am doubts that he'll be convincing. He's like I like this
Jesus of yours. Good line. Another please. Hit me again,
Barkey. Here's the thing. I'm going to say good book. God thought it was a great book.
First, thanks for listening to the show and enjoying it. And thanks for writing in,
as an agnostic, as an agnostic, it means he's not sure, right? He doesn't know if there's a God.
So shouldn't he expose himself to religion as a way of trying to kindle He doesn't know if there's a God. So shouldn't he expose himself to religion
as a way of trying to kindle the fire
and see if there's anything in faith there?
We're not talking Richard Dawkins here.
You're not dating Ricky Jervais.
I feel like.
I mean, another guy named Richard Ricky
who's an atheist.
Ricky Martin.
Not an atheist.
Ricky Martin.
Ricky Ricardo.
Yeah. Give it a, I'd say. Reveaging recruit. Recruve it.
Give it a shot and he should go once, see if it touches him at all, spiritually.
It might help him understand your faith better as well.
And why it's important in your life.
Yeah, I think he needs a pretend he's Christian, but you know Because I think you need some Christian. I think you need some Christian.
But you know, he can go once or twice.
I think that's the concern though, is that if he doesn't, if her parents find out that
he is agnostic, they might discourage the relationship, which would be too bad.
Which would be too bad.
And at that point, you probably have a hard decision to make, and it's difficult.
But I guess if he goes, if he's going to one of these things as a way,
if he goes to one of these things, these things,
but if he's, if he's going as a way to like deepen their relationship and
understand her faith better, if they don't understand that,
we'll need to get one of those parental
divorces.
He's got an air-acking civil difference
in situation on your hands.
What if he goes, my man?
What if he goes, and he pretends to be super Christian?
Like he has, like a big giant foam feet finger
that says Jesus number one.
He's a fucking shaker and he starts flipping out.
He says make a chair to his carven furniture for him.
I think you're thinking of a quaker.
Shakers make furniture too.
There's nothing.
But if they're always shaking.
When you're totally abstinent,
you gotta find things to do.
Now, you say they lapse them.
You know, he goes all in.
He calls their bluff.
Calls their bluff?
That's right.
I thought I believed in you.
You're Christian.
I'm Christian.
I thought I had faith in the everlasting life promise to my Christ, but I didn't think of that. I'm Christian. I thought I had faith in in the everlasting life promised by Christ
But I didn't think that I'm not up to his level. That's gonna backfire because her parents will see him being a crazy Christian
They'll be like oh wow we have to be crazy Christians
And I like there's had to catch crazy Christians. That was the air on studio 60 and it made me feel so bad about everything
Here's the other thing is he gonna go to a live nativity?
Yeah, there's gonna be real animals on stage, right?
That's what it means, right?
I assume there's gonna be like a camel and a donkey up there.
Goosey.
Is he gonna be a baby?
I bet that baby won't act as good as I did.
Yeah, it's like,
he's not gonna be wearing a gold diaper.
He's being born in a manger for crying out loud.
So overall,
Sue, that makes you feel good about humanity.
I don't know about good about humanity.
Wow.
It makes you interested in it.
To be interested in it.
A petting zoo.
I wasn't sure about humanity before, but now.
So is it before after the wise men come in that went,
that, and Jesus is born, that people come up on stage
and pet the animals?
I was thinking about after the service,
the go of a petting animal. You're like, after the service. You know, the pet animals.
You're like, I love your performance.
And get, oh, so you're fair and convinced.
Don't give the donkey time to relax
and decompress after a show.
No, go and pet him.
Yeah, he's got to flip out.
He doesn't want to go to the bar with the rest of the cast.
No, no, keep him on stage.
Everyone can touch him with their hands.
Can I take a picture with you, Mr. Tung?
He's like, no, no, I don't do that.
No pictures, wait outside by the entrance.
Maybe he'll sign your play bill.
Yeah.
My handler will have to take that carrot
because I'm a Scientologist.
I don't know that.
I don't know that.
So I think the real thing is, what does it mean
for your relationship?
Yeah.
I hope we were helpful.
We turned into a Vimba, I'm with our first second We turned into a Vendan there for a second.
It's a bebendum? The mission of the man? Oh no, all three of us were one bebendum.
I guess I'll be a leg. I call the head. Daniel the belly.
So this, that's the star part. Email is from more like snail mail the way he's reading it. This is from miss first name with held Rogers.
Who says Kenny I was listening to the passion play episode being discussed and I had a revelation about a confusing celebrity encounter I had a few years back. Since you guys caused that revelation, I was excited to share it.
I was at a bar late in the evening in my hometown.
I was leaving the bathroom and I accidentally ran
into another patron.
When I looked up to apologize,
I was surprised to be looking at Bill Murray.
I did the super cool response of,
oh,
but Bill Murray from Caddy Shack.
And then I went back to my friends.
I mentioned seeing them and they said that there was a private party in one side of the room consisting of him, Mickey Rourk, and Megan Fox.
This seemed like the weirdest grouping of people I could imagine having to get together.
I thought to myself, why were these people hanging out and why were they hanging out in our small local bar?
I assume this would always be a mystery to me.
When I heard in your podcast that they were all together in passion play, I thought that must be the reason they were together.
The timing of my encounter matched when the movie would have been films.
Then a tiny bit more research showed the movie was filmed partially in my town.
The entire thing made sense after that.
Thanks for helping me make sense of my life.
Politicians misfirst name with held Rogers.
I'm glad we could help solve that history mystery.
Yeah, we're a three real encyclopedia rounds.
I mean, in that,
we saw the mystery yourself.
Well, it sounds like you got more joy
out of passion play than I remember getting,
but it was a long time ago.
I think by having encountered Bill Murray, she is the person who got the
most out of passion.
I just can't imagine what it would be like to be like to have no context for it.
And go into a bar and see that Bill Murray and Mickey work and Megan Fox were all hanging
out together.
I would have the very least order of his friends.
I don't order like an appetizer platter
and send it over to him.
Some calamari, Bill Murray.
It's a classic.
Megan Fox.
Yeah, they look like they're in the appetizers.
I don't know if this is a bar,
and this really is calamari.
It's a bar food.
What kind of does it do that?
In Italy, maybe.
In Italy?
Yeah, let me go down to Italy. We're going to do the design now. In Italy, maybe. In Italy?
Yeah, let me go down to Italy.
And Italy.
And Italy, definitely, at the seafood counter.
Speaking of Mario Battali of Italy fame,
the executive chef consultant.
For a box.
Oh, he was.
That's why Bradley Cooper was always wearing orange crocs.
Yep.
He had orange crocodiles on his feet.
I thought that would be a smooth move to send him over an app platter.
No, I thought I'd just send him over some orange crocs.
Like put these on, you're going to feel like a million bucks.
You're going to feel like Mario Batali.
You're going to go Murray Rork and Fox.
Have a few mozzarella sticks.
Don't look at me.
Love is going to be Rourke and Fox?
So much or else it's on me.
Get up some extra dip and sauce.
Yeah, put a big tub of marinara on there.
I think that's just the little cup.
A little one.
Yeah.
Miggy Rourke's figures are weird.
So trouble getting in there.
Bring on the five gallon bucket of marinara.
Give him a little syrup picture.
So this last letter of the evening is from Wyatt Matsonack who writes, warning contains
spoilers for Friday the 13th part three, a movie that came out over 30 years ago.
Okay. Spoil away.
Dear peaches. Recently I've been very sick and thus stuck at home. There's nothing left
to do except watch all 12 Friday the 13th movies in succession. Well, you do. So that's
what I'm doing. I'm sure all three of you know, the canon of the Jason Universe is not
exactly airtight. But a few things in particular stuck out to me.
It's one of those old antique canons with a cracking that explodes when you try to use it.
First of all, who is that zombie woman who jumps out and grabs the final girl off the
boat at the end of part three?
It can't be old lady Voorhees because she got her head cut off.
Second, how does Jason come back to life the first time after he drowns as a child?
On the wiki says, it says he quote, somehow comes back to life. But in an extended universe
comic book where Jason, Freddie and Ashry will dead meat is revealed that Mrs. Voorhees
used the necronomic contract resurrection. I was wondering if you guys had any thoughts
of this. That's a good one. Also, I mean, that's speculation.
Also, we have Freddie versus Jason
and Alien versus Predator.
But will we ever see Freddie versus Aison?
Aison?
Sorry.
Ah!
It's an Alien to get through Jason's chest
and not as arguments.
Oh no, it's an Alien.
It took the form of Jason.
Well, we ever see.
Aison.
Well, we have to do on that test, Jason.
Aisin.
Aisin, Jason, that's a big call because I get Aisin.
Every test, you are the least cool boy in school, Jason.
Aisin, Jason.
Well, we have first.
Let me snap the sunglasses at the addition to my regular glasses.
All right, feeling cool. Jason, I'm not going
to the prom with you. Will we ever see Freddie versus alien or Jason versus predator?
Be interesting because the alien, I assume, has no dreams. So how is Freddie going to get
to them? Yeah, I feel like Freddie versus predator would make more sense because the yeah, yeah, whoo, ja, alien race,
I'm assuming has some kind of dream.
Yeah, they streams of hunting.
Also, are you guys excited for the Friday the 13th video game?
It's supposed to be like a ball, except one player just Jason and the others are counselors.
And certainly why it not to act now.
Stewart,
I assume you have some feelings on various questions that have been asked.
Let me remind you.
Don't trust.
Number one.
Number one.
Who's the old lady?
Zombiewoman who jumps out and grabs the final girl off the boat at the end of part three.
I mean, I think that's supposed to be Jason's mom because part three is fucking stupid.
And it's like the worst one of the batch.
Okay.
Next, takes Manhattan, which is probably the total worst.
What about his face?
In spaces better than those.
So you reject.
That's your right, Manhattan is pretty bad.
Yeah, Manhattan's number.
You reject any of the campy old lady
for cause she got her head cut off.
I'm saying it is old lady, it's meant to be her.
It shouldn't be that.
If Jason can be both a little zombie kid
and a huge Hawking death demon, then she can be a headless woman and a headed woman.
Exactly.
All right, so how does Jason come back to life the first time after he drowns as a child?
For some reason, right?
Yeah, it's not he somehow comes back to life.
Yeah, somehow exactly. That's right there in the text.
That's the answer.
That's the answer.
Yeah, that's the problem with the people just trying to come
through and create subtext.
It's pretty clear.
Here's the thing about the Friday 13th movies.
They're not to be taken literally.
They're metaphors for how we should live life.
I have to.
By killing people with hockey mats on.
I'm talking about a video game.
I wonder what the video game part of playing a great game.
I'm talking about a video game.
Mario Battalli Cart where it's full of baguettes and I don't know.
Spugets.
And whose Mario Battalli's evil brother?
Mario Battalli?
I don't think their brothers are they?
I think they're just enemies.
I don't remember how to relate.
Luigi's their brother.
Luigi Battalli is his brother.
Yeah.
And there's Patali.
Do you wear green crocs?
Green crocs.
He's a little taller and Patali too.
And when he jumps, he floats around a little bit.
I'm trying to make a battle toch joke.
Oh, okay.
You know, I want to apologize.
You know what this podcast is over?
I want to apologize for a previous episode where I said Gary Shanling was going to be cast
as an elderly battle toad in the battle toads movie.
Because Gary Shanling has passed away.
He hasn't yet passed when you said that.
It's totally okay.
Everyone's gonna die at some point.
If you're gonna take back every joke
you've made about somebody after they die,
it's just gonna be every joke.
Only make jokes about babies because they're going to outlive you.
So I hope in a perfect world that's correct.
Yeah.
So Gary Shanling, if I see, and they, they got thick skims.
If I see you at the crossroads, Gary, I'm sorry.
Somebody can find that more of an offensive.
Oh, yeah, play crossroads then.
Can you edit in Crossroads
by bone thugs harmony right there? Sure. And so you won't be lonely. Why do we have to
die? So you won't be alone. Okay. So we've had a lot of goof from up tonight, guys. We
haven't had a lot of goof from up. No, what's the next part of this podcast? Good segue. The next part of this podcast is where we recommend movies that we actually
kind of like, or even more than kind of like that you should watch with your eye holes.
Or your eyes.
Just some eyes in those holes. Um, you know, I have not had a chance to watch much in the way of movies since the last time
we were together recording.
Why don't you pick a movie you've watched at some point in the distant past?
What's your favorite movie?
What's my favorite movie?
Mm-hmm.
If you say stop making sense, I will crush this beer. Did I?
We all know it's the ruttles.
Have I ever recommended it?
It's chairman of the board, starring Carrot Tom.
It's Thompson Roberts.
Let's say that I'm going to recommend.
Was it man of the house, the Chevy Chase John Taylor Thomas?
Blockbuster. It's Mr. Wrong, the the Bill Pullman Ellen DeGeneres movie.
Getting even with dad, starring McCulloch in a dead dancing.
He never get even with him.
He did, he did in the end, yeah.
In some way, years of neglect, it's hard to get even with.
I'm sure I recommended this before, but it was life with Mikey, starring Michael J. Fox.
In case I haven't, let me recommend then his girlfriend, a my favorite of the
screw wall comedies.
Interesting.
It's got carry grant, Rosalyn Russell, based on the been hectic play.
And Charles MacArthur.
Everyone forget Charles MacArthur.
Yeah.
Well, because he didn't do as much as Ben Hack
Great doesn't mean he didn't write the play
It's I look a lot of people like bringing up baby
That's fine. You can like bringing up baby. No, you can't I'm not such a fan of bringing up baby
And that's because in bringing up baby everyone is crazy crazy. Stop bringing up bringing up baby.
And if there's a crazy.
Yeah.
Hahaha.
Listeners couldn't see the eyebrow rays.
Just when I wrote it, it went through and said,
baby, and that sold the bit.
That put the stake through the vampire's heart
as far as I was concerned.
If you're living in a world where everybody's crazy,
then nothing's crazy, and then nothing's fine.
You gotta live in a world where there's rules
and you press against those rules to make comedy.
And the great thing about his your Friday
is it has an airtight,
far-scaled plot that helps put over the screw ball comedy.
And I'm not gonna say a lot more about it,
but if you haven't seen it, it's a treat.
So, Kerry Grant is super charming.
Check it out, his girlfriend.
Howard Hawks.
Howard Hawks, one of the greatest American directors
of all time.
Real jerk though.
Was he?
Apparently.
Well, can he sue us for libel?
No, dead for almost 40 years at this point.
Famously, on his girlfriend, he timed the dialogue with a stopwatch and had people, you
know, overlapped their dialogue, which was not a thing that was done at the time.
So that's an innovation. You can trace back to that, huh?
That's something.
Sure, yeah, if that won't get someone to watch it,
I don't know what will.
So, so I got running out of steam, guys.
I think you can see it in my eyes.
So speaking of overlapping dialogue.
Dialogue was tied with a stopwatch,
Rave's damn theoy of the playoffs.
That's an innovation, right?
That's something.
Come on.
Something.
Okay.
Valley. You're all I got here.
Go see his girlfriend.
A Dan McCoy says that's something, right?
I'm running a steam says Dan McQuay. So I finally got around to
watching a Western from 1971 that I'd never seen before called McCabe and Mrs.
Miller directed by a fellow named Robert Altman which means old man.
Oh I've never thought about that.
So this altman, fellow.
It sounds like a low budget science fiction movie
from like, Forman Entertainment, Robert, the old,
alternate man.
He slapped together low budget forman entertainment.
What are you talking about?
Slap.
So he put together this little, little Western,
based on a novel named McCabe. And this is a it's
a story of a gambler type with a mysterious past who who ends up forming an alliance with
a kind of a woman of ill repute as they kind of a mad at me. They played by so played
by Warren, Vady and Julie Christie
and they both play the madam. They like it one of them is the front one's the back
or why she's on his shoulders and the trench coat. And they so they they set up their various
enterprises in a burgeoning town in the west and while their enterprise kind of starts to flourish,
the town around them flourishes and his past kind of comes
to the fore when a rival enterprise kind of moves in.
You guys have seen this movie, it's great, right?
It's a great movie.
I've never seen before.
Can you feel anything that I totally missed?
I mean, it's another one of the greatest.
I mean, it's a great example of that.
There's a, the sound in it is a little muddy.
A little happy dialogue there too.
Yes, but not the sound is a little muddy
and the image is a little muddy because it was not processed
properly when the film was literally made.
I thought that was a choice by them.
It was not completely a choice, but it works for the movie.
And the score is by Leonard Cohen.
There's a bunch of songs by him
and that are really good.
And the acting's great, the story's great,
the characters are really rich.
And it's one of the few Altman films
that finds a really tight structure by the end of it.
And the ending, I find so effective and so beautiful.
And it's a movie that, I mean,
having read up on the movie since watching it.
It's, you know, it was referred to as an anti-Western. And I think that kind of fits in that it
it takes the traditional idea of that like smaller conflict of the like gunfighter up against,
you know, rival gunfighters. And it kind of makes the story of the hero less important than
the story of the town as a whole.
It starts out as a story of a con man trying to get ahead anyway, Ken, and it ends up being the story of a community being born.
And it's a really beautiful movie. It's really good.
It's got a ton of Robert Altman's stable cast, Shelley DeVol, and like,
And Odo from Deep Space Nine.
Renee Averson-Wall, Keith Karrinadine and like Keith Caradine's first role. Yeah, and it's just a really good like that's
I've worn baby's and Warren Beaties character McCabe is such a great like such an awesome Western hero that I don't know
If I've seen that character be the lead in a Western before a character who seems very confident
until
He's kind of alone and kind of out of his element and he's you he's kind of revealed to be kind of a man of
indecision. Yeah
It's a really good movie. The cave and Mrs. Miller
Elliot I'll recommend a movie too.
Hey.
What a surprise.
A movie I recently saw that I had been putting off seeing for a long time, but I liked a lot
when I saw it is the Tin Drum, the German movie.
The Blext Rummel?
Mm-hmm.
The Blext Rummel directed by Volker Schlondorf.
And it's for people aren't.
I've never read the book, but I liked it.
I know Stuart T.J. It's great. great. It's the story of a boy who aged
the bookers long.
It's been almost cheerfully.
It was like gooseed off hindholtz.
But the Fritz Crout Deutsche.
But he is it's about a boy who is born around the time of the first, no, but actually, what
time?
Like, after the First World War, but before the Second World War, he's born like the early
20s, and at age three, he makes the decision that he is not going to grow anymore because
adults are dumb, and the world of adults is crazy and irrational.
And instead, he will stay a three-year-old and communicate mainly by banging a tin drum
and screaming so high-pitched and loud that glass shatters.
And over the course of the next 15 years or so, the film follows the book, I guess goes
longer, but it follows his life as
He is everything has turned upside down both by his choice to remain a a small child and also by the horrible events going on in the world
And in Germany as the Nazis come to power and it's one of these movies that was shot in
Europe in like
70s 80s period late-seller these that looks really good like the 70s, 80s period, late-seller days, that looks really good. Like the colors are really good.
There's a lot of great visuals and shots in it.
There's some very strange scenes because he becomes interested and attracted to a female
love interest, even though he's still in the body of a kid.
And I know that that scene got it briefly banned on video in Oklahoma.
I think it was for a few months or a couple of years, but it's okay to watch it now.
But it's just a really weird and context.
It's only weird out of context.
Oh, I guess you're right.
If you see the scene in context, it makes perfect sense.
But seeing out of context, you're like, why is that kid doing that? But it's a surprisingly funny movie in a lot of places, but overall, sad movie,
but it's that European kind of grim humor. And I think.
Yeah, and with like a definitely a touch of magical realism.
Very much so. Yeah. There's a, which is, we, as we've talked about in the show, is
very difficult to capture in a film.
And I think the Tindrum kind of does it.
Yeah, they managed to pull it off very nicely
in the way that a movie like...
Winterstale that we talked about.
Winterstale was the one that came to mind,
but that's more of an out and out fantasy.
But like, there's a lot of movies that try for it
and don't quite pull it off.
I know that like, Almodo Vars, someone who goes for it and don't quite pull it off. I know that like Al Modovar is someone who goes for it
And I feel like he pulls it off some of the time and not all the time
But so the tin drum but of all these movies go see even kevin Mrs. Miller
So he's got the strong fragmentation then this girlfriend
Like usual for a laugh hold on and then tin drum number three
All right, I mean, I could argue that but that's fine. I'm just saying personal choice
But that's only partly because I've seen his girlfriend a probably 15 times at this point. Yeah
So now what do we do?
Is this the probably talk about the movie we saw tonight? It's called burns and boy was it whole howdy
Everybody order some Chinese puts some coffee, it's gonna be a long night.
Now this is the part of the podcast where we say,
hey, we're gonna stop this podcast.
It's not gonna be in your ears in a few seconds,
or more than a few seconds, but you get the idea.
You can drag it over to the little garbage icon.
So Dan, what are some ideas for it?
What are some ideas for it?
It's slippered right in there.
Whoa, I don't like it.
So what could people do after they finish listening
to the podcast?
So we're gonna end the podcast in about a minute, 30 seconds.
Go over to flopphousepodcast.com and leave a review
on the help or something.
They should leave a review on iTunes.
We're so close to a thousand reviews on iTunes.
I just wanted to happen.
So I put one star super shitty podcast. No, don't give us
eight Michelin stars. Wow. Then we can stop being boozy bad ass, you know, bad boys.
Not me. I'll never stop being a boozy bad boy.
And then maybe when they're done with the podcast and they leave their review,
they can just go on with their lives. Experience the perpetual pageant that is reality.
Just get out there, man.
The wondrous surprises that are in your jail.
Yeah, just get out there.
You can't live your life through your ears.
That's for sure in many ways.
Just try stuffing a pizza in that thing.
It's not gonna get you to tell me.
Yeah, so, you know.
Just like go out there and live.
Just live life, man.
Just find the next person you see and say like,
hey, I wanna relate to you from one human being
to another.
You're gonna wanna leave.
I wanna give you a kiss if you're into it
and they won't be.
But you'll have given them the option and that's okay.
The important thing is consent.
By offering it, you'll only be marginally creating
an atmosphere of fear and tension.
Can I just go out there and live?
Yeah.
Just live, you know?
Be like Jim Carrey and Yes, Man,
and just say yes to everything.
Yeah, but don't be like Jim Carrey and Yes, Man.
Be better than that.
I thought that was liar liar.
No, that's where he couldn't lie.
But why is he called liar liar? It's ironic. Oh, the same reason eternal sunshine
in the spotless mind, all their minds were full of spots. And it was nighttime.
But most importantly, for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. Well, I've been steward
Wellington partner and all by steward's John Wayne impression. I'm Ellie Kalen
Night everyone
I'm not playing. It's an L.A. It's ad for the sex, sex website that we're out of fucking.
Our shoes now literally throwing himself against the door to try to get out.
You can let him out as long as he doesn't jump on my lap and claw my legs.
I can't hear you.
She's got no promises.
I don't know why he does that.
Is my penis made out of my stand?
Why does this count want to be my last open?
I've never seen it.
Oh, wow.
That's a very mouse generated penis.
You're my, you're, you're, your penis is squeak, right?
Like mine.
Squeaks, squeaks, squeaks.
And you feed a cheese.
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What's the best Star Wars movie?
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Coker Pepsi.
Best Marvel movie.
Which is the best religion.
I told you we're not doing that one.
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And don't worry everyone, we got this.
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one, we got this.
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