The Flop House - Ep. #203 - Look Who's Talking Now
Episode Date: April 30, 2016This episode is part three in a podcrawl with the guys at Read it and Weep, and at Too Beautiful to Live, covering the entire Look Who's Talking trilogy. We got to handle the thrilling conclusion, Lo...ok Who's Talking Now. Meanwhile we discover what's in the file titled "Things Stuart Knows," Dan reveals his shameful Simpsons past, and Elliott pitches "Fiddler on the Wolf Goes West." Movies recommended in this episode: Ricki and the Flash The Invitation China 9, Liberty 37
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On tonight's episode we watched, look who's talking now.
That's right listeners, the flop house goes straight to the dogs.
Because there's dogs in the middle of it.
Because it's a movie with dogs.
Yeah.
All right, I'm the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy and you know I'm steward Wellington.
And you probably had a premonition that Elliott Kalen would be here. Well, you were right.
That's right. We're the flop house podcast.
Starring us in the flop house. The original flop. Bad boys of flop casting. I think the
only bad boys of flop casting, which also makes us the only good boys of flop casting.
Yeah, where's your yardstick for good versus bad boys?
Well, bad boys are coming for you, or were they coming for the bad boys in that song?
Well, they were coming after the bad boys.
Oh, okay, never mind that. Never mind.
So this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.
And tonight, we did not watch a bad movie.
Well, tonight, oh no, we did not.
Tonight we're taking part,
and a little thing called a pod crawl.
Now we've done this a couple of times before,
where we get together with a couple of other podcasts
and we watch a series of connected movies.
It's like a crossover where no one meets each other.
And so we are running the Lukus talking series with Read It and Weep and
two beautiful to live with Luke Burbank.
And so the reader weep guys, I believe it.
Read It and Weepa show that that I think we all done a guest spot
on it at some point.
Yeah.
Yep.
And we've done the previous two prop pakt rolls with the Star Wars one and the, uh, was in
the, uh, yeah, the any which way will lose that was with, uh, we, uh, we, uh, okay.
Dan's memory zero.
Anyway, point is
They watch Lucas talking they which Lucas talking the classic film about hey
What if babies could talk and they sounded like Bruce Willis yep to 1989's
Look who's talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it felt so hot the next year look who's talking to
And then there was a little bit of a leg before our film,
look who's talking now.
I'm assuming it went through multiple rewrites
so they could get the perfect script.
I was gonna say two beautiful to live
to the second film in the series,
where that's the one with the talking toilet.
That's, that's, that's,
I love it.
For them, they're talking baby.
What's the heightening to one talking baby?
Two talking babies.
It's, they had to learn the lesson
that Walt Disney learned with three little pigs,
where he said, you can't beat pigs with pigs.
He couldn't just keep making three little pigs cartoons.
He had to do other stuff that wasn't pigs.
He's got a big cartoon where a pig beats another pig.
No, it's impossible,
because pigs always form an alliance against humans.
Animal farm by George Orwell.
I talked about it on your brother's podcast.
Yeah, and there's no they have no arguments in that in that book, right?
No, they can't.
None of the pigs have anything bad.
I have another.
Perfectly well.
Yeah.
Uh, nothing.
So, Lucas talking is about a talking baby, but he's not really talking.
It's just what he's thinking.
Lucas talking to, you got two talking babies.
Yeah. Lucas talking now., the kids have grown up.
But we have a gender balance.
Yes, yeah, finally we've achieved gender Lukus talking
parody after so many years of progress.
There was once in time when girl babies couldn't even vote.
And you know what, they still can't, because they're babies.
Yeah, they can't understand it.
Today, we're actually recording on the night
of the New York primary and my wife took our son,
Sammy, with her to go voting
And he could not tell me which candidate they voted for this two-year-old kid had no understanding of what was going on in
Democratic politics. Maybe he was just trying to keep his vote private. Maybe that's true. I asked him. I saw who'd you vote for?
He goes
Voted.
He was more like way to ask the civic duty is the main thing.
Oh, Civic's not the only duty he's making.
Oh, dad humor.
Anyway, so Luke who's talking now, the kids are grown up.
They're already talked to see a five year old talking
is not impressive enough to go to the movies for and pay.
At the time, $6 for a ticket plus you got popcorn
plus twizzlers probably.
Then you see the thing about the float candy floating
through space in the beginning,
and you're like, oh, gummy bears, of course,
you run out and get those.
Then you got to sit, they didn't even
have screen entertainment, so it's not like
you could buy time with that.
You had to hurry, and when you get back.
This is back when there would be guys walking around
with little boxes hanging from their show.
Yeah, there's the Fordy-Ford.
The Fordy-Ford?
Yeah, the Fordy a lot of you are.
Yeah.
I've heard of some little Rogers foundation.
You got to put in a couple of bucks from that too.
Oh, yeah.
What happened to that?
That used to be at like every movie theater.
They realized that Will Rogers was dead and couldn't hurt them anymore.
They could bring both.
It's just a projection racket.
Yeah.
He was totally by the end.
It seems he died in a plane crash
70 years ago. Why are we still doing this? Uh, so Lucas talking now, what's going to be
talking now? There are obviously a lot of options. Cars, you mentioned toilet plants.
Now there is a talking toilet in one scene in Lucas talking to. Uh huh. It's a fantasy
sequence. And if you want fantasy sequence isus talking now is chock full of filler
in the form of fantasy sequence.
So what's gonna talk?
Is it gonna be the sky?
Is it gonna be fire telling people light me?
Burn your house.
Is it gonna be like a television set?
Now that again, if it was talking
would not be that impressive.
Okay.
Is it gonna be like a talking doll?
Like a chuckle?
I mean, you know, one of those chuckies
are talking tinas.
Yeah.
Here's what it is.
Everyone's clothing talks.
Oh, thanks.
What's going on?
It's their main thing.
And they're all saying, I'm touching your boobs.
Yeah, all the clothes are perverts.
I'm touching your butt right now.
Oh, boy.
I'm brightly colored.
I'm brightly colored. I'm brightly colored.
Well, there are a lot of brightly colored shows.
Yeah, brightly colored clothes.
It's a real...
Triceracy?
Dick Tracy of a movie.
Now, man, what really is the extra talking element?
The extra talking element is dogs.
Dogs.
The series has gone to the dogs.
As the story's set up.
Oh, Danny? Yeah, like 10 minutes ago? The series has gone to the dogs. It's the worst set up in the world.
Oh, Danny?
Yeah, like 10 minutes ago.
I thought it was this episode is starting rough.
Oh, but this, if one in the pound and put it down.
Or as they say, when they're about to kill Danny
to be able to be able to watch, to be destroyed.
Which I think is supposed to be a less visceral word than kill, but it sounds way worse.
If you say you're gonna kill a dog, it's like,
oh, well, at least its body will exist, right?
You destroyed it.
The soul has been banished to the other worlds.
We're on an atomic level, it's just been torn apart
to particles.
It's like when I get a sandwich and I'm like,
I'm gonna destroy this sandwich.
Like the guy that's telling me this sandwich is like,
holy shit, dude
I mean that sandwich back here's your money get out of my restaurant. I would couldn't let you do that
You said that weirdly sexually, too. I will that's I'm gonna destroy this sandwich
That's how I talk to you service
Oh, I'm just gonna wreck this sandwich
Unleaded please
fill her up
You guys are making it grosser than mine was.
Maybe.
So we open in a single shot.
So the year is 1990.
One shot.
A single take long shot.
It is irreversible.
Now the year is 1993 when this came out.
This was the big movie of the year, right?
Of course it wasn't.
Jurassic Park came out in 1993.
The biggest movie, maybe ever made.
And the dinosaurs.
I think scientific way.
That's untrue, I think.
I mean, name a bigger movie.
Gone with a win.
Dinosaurs are like 60 feet tall.
No one in that movie is over 60 feet tall.
Dinosaurs could eat scoffo hair very easily.
Incredibly easily.
Think about the Civil War with dinosaurs.
It's called a ramling in dinosaur hunter
I'm thinking about it and I'm loving it
Here's $700,000 perfect. Thank you. So wait a second. Are the in this case are the dinosaurs plantation owners?
Yes, okay. Well
Another reason I hate dinosaurs. I guess no, but I like dinosaurs. Oh shoot anyways
So we open as stewards have with a single long take shot of
Our heroes John Travolta and Kristie Alley. We've known them through the entire Lucas talking saga. They met
They don't love. Oh, sorry. They had a baby at a wedlock. John Travolta married her. They had another baby in wedlock
They are according to IMDB
The tagline for this movie is the world's favorite family is back.
That is incredibly unearned promotional hype.
Hyperbolic.
I mean, as if the world's favorite family.
Name one more favorite family.
Now, considering the movie's set at Christmas,
Jesus and His parents, hugely popular throughout the world.
And I'm talking about both his dad. I was gonna say the family from married with children, Jesus and his parents hugely popular throughout the world.
And I'm talking about both his dad.
I was going to say the family from married with children, the Bundies.
The Bundies?
They were huge at this point.
The Simpsons, even bigger.
Let's not forget the Winslow's and the Hustables.
The Cosby's?
Well, the Cosby's and the Hustables are the same.
Oh, yeah.
I'm bad at TV.
And the Dick Van Dyches'es and the bunkers and the family from the show dinosaurs.
I don't remember if that was on the show.
All over the family.
Yeah, some family feud.
Yeah, all of them.
So all the people who under their breath while they're listening to this show on public
transportation who said the name of that family on dinosaurs, please tweet it when you
get off the bus.
Yeah, please do. I think it's the Sinclair's.
That makes sense.
But that doesn't say that.
We did at Honda's.
Love House cat.
Well, no, all the carels are talking about.
We've all of it at Flock House cat.
All dinosaurs related to correspondents
goes directly to my personal car.
At Flock House cat.
Not the mama.
Oh, no.
No.
Look, you got to love them.
He's told you so.
Yeah.
All the characters were named after oil companies. No, no. Look, you got to love him. He's told you so. Yeah.
All the characters were named after oil companies. Oh, wait, are the dinosaurs worth?
Yeah, yeah, it was a joke.
I don't know.
What's the joke?
Is it that their latex master made out of oil?
I think is that when they,
that their bones would become oil eventually.
Yeah, it was sort of a morbid joke.
These characters that you love will eventually die
and become fossilized,
and then you'll burn them up in your car.
Considering the final episode of the series
was the Ice Age coming and everybody is about to die.
It's pretty close.
Anyway, so Kirstie Alley and John DeVolta
America's favorite family.
They are.
Words of favorite family.
Now you take World's Family.
We've got the World's Favorite Family.
It's like, it's in... Cause in...
In Namibia, they're like, what's going on with the Lequeus talking family in Japan?
They're like, oh, what's happening now to the family whose last name I don't remember,
even though they're my favorite.
Yeah, he's complicated.
They get the poster, it says Lequeus talking now, and they're like, who?
Who?
Who?
Oh my god, say, who?
Tell us who's been added to the family.
They did the same experience I had when I saw the poster for Gremlins 2 and my mind exploded. Oh, forgot, say cool. Tell us who's been added to the family.
They did the same experience I had
when I saw the poster for Gremlins too,
and my mind exploded.
They made another one, just for me.
Oh, man, I was thinking.
I was thinking, when will I just go first look for that thing?
And I was like, a spider, Gremlin.
Do I live in the best time that has ever existed?
Medically, yes.
I remember in that movie, when Gremlins
who was still on theaters, I had all the collectible cards,
and I would just go on road,
when my parents were taking me on road trips,
I'd read the backs of the-
Yeah, like you were watching the movie.
What was the lobby card I gave you?
Was that the, was that Favy K's being terrorized in the-
Yes, in the elevator.
And the Gremlins arms gunner goes,
Forth-Low-R-Women's lingerie. Because it's and the elevator That one's arms are gonna go for the lower woman's lingerie
Because it's just the loony toon scar tuna that boy and when the elevator crashes
There's literally like a point that's not effect that squish. What a good movie. We should have watched that
There's tons of talking shit in that movie
Anyway, so there these two are dealing with tons of talking shit
You're like a normal, everyone just talks.
They don't make a big deal out of it.
Look, every movie since 1929, roughly,
has had talking in it for the most-
I mean, there's some movies that have it,
but most of them have.
Even Charlie Chaplin eventually was like,
I get to get on this talking boat.
So, in 1993, to release a movie
where things are talking, not so impressive.
Kristie Alley, John DeVolta,
they're dealing with the stress one of being
huge psychologists.
And two of having these very stressful children.
And then right away, the movie
loses its audience because you expect the children
to have the voices of Bruce Willis
and Roseanne Barr respectively.
Yes, why didn't they dove them
into these children's faces?
It would have been perfect,
and it would have made sense thematically.
You know that this boy is gonna grow up to be Bruno,
and this girl is gonna grow up to be She Devil.
Yeah, yeah, that's her character.
Yeah, and so it's really stressful,
life having two young kids.
They don't wanna go to bed,
ah, they don't wanna take a bath, ah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You're busy healing around the apartment all the time.
Oh boy, Yagady Sacks is always playing in their minds and occasionally on their stereo.
They love novelty songs.
They're like, take, put that Dr. Demento mix on. This is gonna be great.
Yeah, they're like, fish heads, fish heads, roll the poly, fish heads.
You know what honey, let me queue up the music video. You know, Bill Paxton directed this?
Yes, I know, honey, thank you.
Anyway, so they love novelty songs, we wish that.
That's their defining trait.
Now, John Travolta, as you know,
is a pilot who's at a work and became a cab driver.
And he's like kind of a goofy nerd, do well.
And, Christie Allen does.
He always wears shirts that are about five sizes too big for him.
Because it's the 90s.
This is something I forget all the time
until I watch 90s movies.
Everyone's clothes were enormous.
Like everyone looked like a fucking Howard Chacon drawing
with huge shoulder pads and like,
John Perpance.
There's up scene where the sun is like,
what, six is walking down the stairs.
And he's wearing pants that look like they belong
on a grown man.
Like, they're so wide.
It's like, what are you doing to these kids?
But that's you guys, I assume, had clothes like that back then.
I certainly did where my mom was buying me shirts that like had so much excess fabric
in it.
What I remember about the 90s is that I wanted a Simpson's emblazoned outfit because that
was the hippest thing for a while was to have any Simpsons thing and so I somehow
I settled upon the nerdy as Simpsons option that was possible meal house which was
Bart giving the peace sign in front of a big piece symbol saying
peace man
And I thought I was the coolest. Where are you the coolest I was not. So where did you get that shirt from?
I think it was a J.C. penny sweatshirt.
A J.C. penny?
Yeah, J.C.
I know you started with retail before he went into wrapping.
I had 99 problems and all of them were that shirt.
See, because my dad used to get us Simpson stuff,
but why dad used to work in Manhattan at the time.
He'd go in a big day.
So there were bootlegs.
And he just picked up tons of bootleg shirts off the street.
Awesome.
So my bro have them?
Probably somewhere.
My mom doesn't throw anything out.
And they still fit.
Probably.
But my sister and my brother and I would always
be wearing simpsons or niggas shirt
shirts where the colors were all wrong.
Where the part has like a yellow shirt and green shorts
or like this guy's got a red bandana, but he's holding none-chucks.
That doesn't make sense.
Michelangelo holds the none-chucks.
And I remember very much the day when my dad came home
with no bootleg shirts and he was like,
oh, all I could find was Homie the Clown merchandise.
So I'm not wearing buying that for you.
But it was too urban for you.
It was too, I mean, in retrospect,
Homie the Clown was an inappropriate character
for a 10-year-old to have emblazoned on them.
Yeah, because he's not eating shorts
and then being an underachiever, but a pro-pri-in.
And Suicir.
Appropriate for this movie, because it looked like it was
the costume designer was the same person
who did everything for in living color.
It was, there were a lot of bold, bright colors.
Yeah.
Big, big styles.
And one point jacket.
And one point jacket with contrast sleeves on them. And one point, John one point John to have a dash or in charge of this movie
Oh, there's so many hats. They should have called this look who's had him now
Or just look who's talking hats and the hat should have talked like in Lidsville, but they're not big
How did they not put fucking hats on the dogs? They were, they must have been littering the,
the floor with hands.
Now what kind of hats do you think they would have?
Like one of them have like a 10 gallon hat?
Or, I mean, yeah, because it's a cowboy dog.
Or a burr.
I mean, the,
Dan, your obviously the, obviously the poodle
will have a beret, a traditional poodle hat.
But like, right, so it would have one of those like,
like a beat a bold hat with the front flipped up.
Yeah, maybe it has a press card in it.
Like a corner torn off.
All right.
And what or maybe like he's got like a newsies cap.
A newsies cap.
It's like a little bit of it's ripped and she's wearing a tiara.
Oh, that's technically a hat.
What if he has a hobo hat, which is just a top hat with a top
popping off?
Yeah, he could definitely do that little little longer than the over his shoulder.
He's wearing dog shoes with the toes open.
And she's wearing like,
like one of those old-fashioned 19th century hats
with a real dead stuffed bird on it and glass cherries.
Yeah, that would be great.
I would like to see a dog's neck
try and support all that weight.
It would be very difficult.
So anyway, the, oh yeah, and there's,
I want it, so we don't forget,
I want us to point out of the clothes,
John Travolta won't be a pain.
Yeah, a penis atapistry.
He dresses up for a fancy dinner in a blue sport jacket,
or blazer or suit jacket, that is the blue-est blue,
and it is so bright.
It's like he took a blue screen from industrialite magic
and just cut it into a shirt shape
and just stuffed his sleeves, his arms through it.
It's like you were staring deep into the baby blues
of Paula Trady.
You know, it was far too much spice
from the atmosphere in his bloodstream.
There's, when he waves his hands in front of it,
it looks like he is a weatherman.
Like, there's, yeah, he's like,
you'll just add a suit and post.
You know how when the rank horse fighting Luke,
there's like a green process caught line around it.
It's like, John Dervolt has hands had that
when they're in front of his jacket.
It was really weird.
It's a color that does not exist in nature in any form. And somehow they tore it from some like the
the hydron collider when two atoms exploded and turned it into a jacket that he wore. It
was crazy. Yeah. It was. And luckily, and luckily. And he's with and Kirstie Allian, Olympia de Coccus, his two dates are also dressed.
Yeah, he, Kirstie Allian is what she's in a bright red thing and the magic.
Yeah, almost the traction called address.
Has a purple number on the Manchester Purple earrings.
Yeah, so they are stressed out from their two kids.
He's looking for work.
He's having trouble finding it doesn't help that he has a light up tie, that he wears as a
joke. He's kind of a goofy dad and And she's kind of a stressed out mom. And
they are always trying to do it and always getting interrupted.
Yeah. And so she finds out she's been fired from her job. At
the same time, he goes on an interview at what appears to be
the headquarters of the Tyrell Corporation for Blade Runner,
with a woman who is a kind of icy blonde CEO
who doesn't wear a shirt just a bra with a blazer over it.
She's got a collection of blazers that yeah,
the boobs are front and center.
It's like, it's like the guys hold on a second, Dan.
Where else should the boobs be?
Like back and diagonal?
Underneath and in circles.
It's like what happened if the, you know, you know, sometimes they drift off to the side,
I guess.
Yeah, then you gotta push them slightly when you're going out with a gumbee.
That's what, that's the main problem the women face, right?
They got a recenter of the boobs.
Every now and then, that's what they go to.
So if you got a calibrate.
You're getting recalibrated and re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re re Is that time to hit him like a punch to the gut? Oh, yeah, his boss is basically if the weird science guys scanned a nagel print and
she's praying to life.
And so he gets a job as her private pilot.
And Kristi Ali is instantly threatened by this beautiful young rich woman.
But what can she do?
They need to support the family.
And so he takes the job.
Little realizing that she has designs on him,
and also will make him work all the time,
taking away from his family.
Now, their son wants nothing more for Christmas than a DOG.
That's right, a dog.
Four paws.
That's a good place for him.
Yeah, we had to do it in our head.
And their little girl wants nothing more than to defeat took me a second. I spelled it out. Yeah, we had to do it in our head. And there
little girl wants nothing more than to defeat Charles Barkley in a one-on-one basketball
game, which we see in a fantasy sequence that has no bearing on the plot. And it's
oddly sexual. Yes, it's a weird. She stares at him on TV in a weirdly sexual way. And
it's I don't know about you guys, but I was looking up out the IMDB trivia for this
scene. I was not. They specified that they had to slow down the basketball footage like
a Hong Kong martial arts movie or else the audience wouldn't know what was going on. They
just specified that. Hold on a second. So our basketball game slowed down because people
watch those all the time. Well, no, no, no basketball games don't happen at the speed that this little girl is
probably involved in. She's so good. And then then then drop in a hot dunk on Charles Barkley.
Yeah. They did bring in a a wire food master from the from the shop brothers stable for that scene.
Now, he wants a dog. They don't want to get him a dog. They live in a tiny New York apartment in a New York that looks suspiciously like Los
Angeles in every single way, except that the cars have New York license plates.
But it actually, they probably shot in Vancouver.
So I don't know, maybe that's what Vancouver looks like.
Yeah, I wouldn't know.
The only experience I have in Vancouver is seeing the movie The Score with Robert De Niro,
which takes place in Vancouver.
And the only experience I have of The Score
with Robert De Niro is,
when I mentioned it just now,
is Marlon Brando saying to Frank Oz
that he's not one of the puppets
that he can stick his hand up his ass
and make him do what he wants.
I run it all.
I only experience with Frank Oz
is watching Star Wars.
Star Star Wars? He's not even that. He's an F.I. Strikes Back. But he Star Wars. Star Star Wars? He's not even if I strike back.
But he's not in Star Star Wars.
He is in Star Star Wars.
Yeah, that's true.
That's the movie where Star Wars is reinterpreted using real stars.
And from it, our own son.
Beetleguys.
Beetleguys.
Yeah, yeah.
And serious.
Alcar.
Alcar.
Serious.
The dog star. Speaking of dogs, there is this movie. Al-Tar. Al-Tar? Serious, the dog star.
Speaking of dogs, there is this movie.
So the sun wants a dog.
There's a mishap with a Santa Claus.
Kristie Ali, briefly, as a job as an elf,
at a Santa Claus thing.
This is a very Christmassy movie.
And so pretty quickly, I shut off much of my brain
because Christmas...
It goes to hate our savior, our Lord and Zaver Jesus Christ.
Hate is a strong word. I have no emotional connection to.
Well, he is an emotional connection to you.
And I know.
Nope.
And so I have a pamphlet to you.
And potentially an ethnic connection to him too.
Oh, much stronger ethnic connection.
Potentially.
Yeah, there's a lot of controversy.
I'm waiting on Ali. It's personificate.
I'm going to go on finding your roots and they're going to do my DNA study.
It's going to say 100% Christ. Yeah. Oh, I'll check it for a certificate. I'm gonna go on finding your roots and they're gonna do my DNA study. It's gonna say 100% Christ. Oh, I'll check it for a certificate. I knew you were a secret key bler.
Born in a tree. So she gets a job as an out. There's a lot of Christmas in this movie and the
movie is very, very heavily relying on the audience, having an emotional connection to Christmas,
and the idea of a family being together on Christmas.
And since Christmas to me is associated with
easier to get a movie ticket,
easier to get a table at Chinese restaurant.
I mean, you're not a monster, right?
You can theoretically understand.
I wish I was a monster.
You could understand.
Since I was a kid, I've wanted to be a monster.
Yeah, you'd be like a Hollywood man, Dell.
Little monster's monster,
where you're peeing in Apple Juice jugs.
That I don't want to be. OK. I would rather be, OK. Number one, Godzilla- a monster. The idea of a white Mandel, little monster's monster where you're peeing in apple juice jugs. That I don't want to be.
Okay.
I would rather be, okay.
Number one, Godzilla type monster.
Okay. Okay.
Number two, a Dracula.
Number three, a wolf man, but I can control the transformations.
Number four, a Dracula.
A Dracula. Oh, sure. Yeah, come on.
Number five, Benicula.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, there's a lot of coulars that I could be. Drac, bum, duck.
And now would you want to be a Godzilla-sized Dracula?
That would be silly.
How am I going to find a tuxedo big enough to wear?
I'm just going to be a naked Dracula.
And that's not something anyone needs to see.
So, yeah.
I was saying that as a gentleman of the Jewish faith,
you can still understand the idea
of wanting to be with your family on the holiday.
Oh, look, I'm, I'm, I'm, I have a wife and child.
Yeah.
Much more.
What?
Sorry.
I was cheating on you with my family.
You son of a bitch.
A much more important holiday to me, Passover,
is coming up to the end of the week.
We're recording this.
And it's very important for me to be with my family during that holiday.
I'm not going to make a movie about it. But maybe I will. I'm going to call it past
over.
Itter herb. It's like that movie celebration. Yeah. Except it's that Passover. That was
the one right where it turns out everything's terrible. I mean, yes, everything's in my own title.
It's an ironic title.
What?
It's an ironic title, like comedy or entertainment.
Yeah.
What's entertainment?
That's that Neil Hamburger movie.
Oh, right.
Okay.
Not that's entertainment, which is not ironic, very entertaining.
So...
Organs movie.
Also not ironic. Oh, it's.
Let's think of some other movies that are not don't have
erotic titles. Hell razor.
I'm a rhonic. I raise a lot of hell. Candyman. He appears in it.
Yep. So it's a kind of a rhonic though.
Look, he's talking now a little ironic in that it's not who's talking.
It's what's talking.
That's more dramatic. I's not really did become her.
They looked great.
Yeah, come on.
Now, look who's talking now.
So they want to be together on Christmas.
Who wouldn't want to be?
But his job keeps taking them apart and they both worry about their marriage.
At the same time, John Travolta, to get on his son's good side, brings him to the pound
to get a dog.
Yeah, after his son realizes that Santa Claus does something,
says, let's rewind to the introduction of rocks voiced by Danny DeVito,
who is a dog who is born in a litter of dogs.
Each of the look is talking movies as kids movies starts with a scene that introduces sperm
flying towards an egg. And if you had been taking bets as to whether or not
this movie would feature the song,
how to dog, you would clean up on your bet.
Yeah, it is, although it is one to one odds.
Yeah.
You would win exactly the same amount of money
that you bet.
I think that you are literally,
you might as well just not make the bet.
Now, I'll be honest with you,
I think that seeing the original look who's talking with
the credits of a sperm fertilizing an egg may have been up until that point the most erotic
thing you've ever seen.
I saw it at a church lock-in and it may have been the...
What kind of monster locked you in a church?
It may have been the clearest explanation of how an egg is for the lives that I've seen
or understood up until that point.
Sure.
Like, I saw this in early high school and it is the state of sex education in this country
that Luku's talking probably got her across the clearest like what the deal was.
Well, did they show you the PG rated cut or did they show you the R rated cut where you
actually see the penis's head enter?
And then the urethra opened like the mall of a sandworm.
Mm-hmm.
Just spew it out.
I'm sure I know.
Yeah.
That didn't happen.
But here it's dog sperm and dog eggs.
A litter is born.
And the one that nobody wants the runt, if you will,
is rocks played by Danny DeVito.
Poised by Danny DeVito, although I'm assuming
he's not a dog costume.
Yeah, when they're assuming with the original costume.
Yeah, when they were blocking out the scenes,
he and Diane didn't put on dog outfits.
You know, you can't, Diane, put on dog outfits
and they staged it and they go,
OK, bring in the real dogs.
What if they shot the whole thing with Diane Keaton
and Danny DeVito and dog costumes,
they're like, this doesn't look good at all. We'll just, we'll just see G.I. some dogs in there over them.
I just want to imagine these little kids acting with
Danny DeVito on all fours.
And Diane Keaton on all fours wearing a horrific late text dog mask.
And Danny DeVito is so excited on the premiere to see himself in the movie.
He's just what? What do they?
All right. And walks out.
So angry.
This is the lower ax all over again, even though that hasn't been made yet.
What's the, what did he say?
A story.
I'm just glad I would have been really sad because Rio Perlman, I'm sure dressed up
really nice to see her, her boy, all about the big screen.
Yeah, she had a diamond dog shaped brooch.
He actually wore a pearl. I am. He actually wore his fur a pearl.
Oh, yeah, he wore his costume to the premiere.
So everyone, they didn't even notice him.
They just thought it was some crazy dog man
and they shoot him away with a broom.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Just say, shoot him.
They're like, get this dog going out of here.
Go back to rift.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Yep, they shot him.
Oh, no. You got toiffs. If they shot him. Oh no.
You got to understand.
You understand it's me, Daniel DeVito.
Sure sure it is.
The Living Shello Magnate, Danny DeVito.
Magnate.
Last time I checked Danny DeVito
wasn't half-man half-dog you freak.
It's me John Canny from Spaceballs.
Oh I'm so sorry, sir.
Barf, it's great to meet you. Come in, Mr. Mog. Mr. Mog with my cookie. Mr. Mog is my
father. Comey Bernie Mog. Now anyway, uh, rocks, he's, he briefly pals around with a homeless
man. That doesn't work out because he gets caught by the air. We get a lot of shots of a dog running around
and Danny DeVito providing voiceover.
And Danny DeVito, DeVito, just throwing jokes,
maybe ad-libbed, maybe not onto the screen.
You have to send Danny DeVito and Dynke,
and each did their jobs for this movie
in about 90 minutes, maybe two hours.
One can only open.
Yeah, he goes to the panel.
Can we do another take on that, Mr. Navito?
No, all right.
Thank you.
A note for you.
Miss Keaton, another take on.
Okay.
I prefer to think Diane Keaton kept them there really late trying to get every line perfect.
Yeah.
She's like, you don't understand.
This is Diane Keaton you're talking about.
Hmm.
Everything I do is important.
I have to become Daphne the dog. Uh, rocks gets he's about to be destroyed at the pound, but luckily John
Devolta and his son save him by adopting him.
But when they get home, they find that John Devolta's boss, the sexy British lady, she's
British too.
Sexy British lady has given them a super fancy poodle dog with a voice of Diane Keaton.
Again, as we explained, not played
by Diane Keaton.
Although, probably.
We can only see in the mocap. It was done by Diane Keaton in real life. These dogs are
a handful. Daphne needs all the special treatment and a rox is always chewing up the shoes.
It was sort of charming to see old-style dogs talking in a movie where they didn't feel like they need to
You know old-style dogs. Yeah, my dogs say yeah, they didn't have they didn't have the time here and dogs in ought six
We talk like this. I mean they still play poker around here not those game boys
Oh, I want to see a dogs playing game boys painting so badly. Yep. They're not
Oh, I want to see a dogs playing Game Boy's painting so badly. Yep.
They were not playing Game Boy's fucking Tetris.
There may be one of them is playing links, but yeah, the other ones are all playing
Tetris and not talking to each other.
That's the modern thing that dogs do.
Is they play Game Boy?
I don't know.
Candy Crush, but Game Boy is something that means something to me.
You were saying.
They don't have like animated.
They don't have animated, I mean, like that started with Babe.
So it's like, it's not like they had the technology back.
But Babe was John Goodman.
That's right.
I thought.
They animated John Goodman's mouth.
See, I always thought they just put peanut butter on his teeth so that he would look at,
it would look like he was talking.
That's right.
In fact, look who's talking.
That was John Goodman, that movie.
Yeah.
You're right.
There's no animated mouths.
There's no puppets.
It's just a dog with it. Yeah, it's kind of fun to see the mouths. There's no puppets. Yeah, it's kind
of fun to see the old style of like, I don't know, just just putting a voice over a dog.
You gotta tell you, Dan, I'm nostalgic for a lot of old movie production techniques. This
is not one that plucked at my heart strings. Oh, the laziest thing. They're just having
someone talk over footage of a dog. Yeah, they don't even try and match it up to the dog flabbing it's good.
Or even the dog doing his action that matches the,
the, the, the dialogues.
And they're able to communicate with each other.
So I guess they're all like telekinetic or no telepathic.
Yeah, that's, that has to be,
because they're not even growling.
They're just thinking.
Or is that, is that them communicating using pheromones?
The old question of the Garfield comic strip, isn't it?
I mean, because those are all thoughts.
Like it's all like,
it's my real question is,
how does this cat eat so much fucking lasagna?
He's very fat.
Garfield thinks something, does Odie hear it?
I think there's no evidence to believe Odie does hear it.
Nirmal on the other hand, he seems to be communicating with.
Yeah.
Now, that could be all body language.
The look who's talking to,
they're the kids did the same thing.
They just kind of thought at each other
and they could understand and have conversation.
Which having grown up with assembling,
that is not how it works.
Not at all.
You have to communicate through a series
of complicated fart coasters.
Oh, that was because they had the grace of babies.
It was before they had sin, Elliott.
So they had the power of telekinesis.
I thought we were born telekinesis.
Telekinesis.
Telekinesis.
Telekinesis.
Yep, thank you.
There's a full bag is there.
Oh, that's a good, it's a good life all over again.
He was born and the pain was so much
that he destroyed the world with his telekinesic powers.
There's a deleted scene where they wish
John told him the court fields.
And he just starts dancing in it or whatever.
Now, I don't know, oh yes, they've got these dogs.
Yeah, there's dogs, there's all over.
The two dogs don't like each other.
It's a real, I mean, I guess Hollywood had never
made a movie before about like a rich fancy dog.
First having a trouble with and then falling in love with like,
let's just call it a tramp for lack then falling in love with like, let's
just call it a tramp for lack of a better word, like kind of a dirty vagabond dog like this
and there's a scene where they almost have spaghetti with each other like that's, I mean
they got to give them credit for like an original gag.
That's the scene where they leave a sleeping Kirsty alley and then go out on the town
and walk past a full restaurant of people eating giant pastimes.
A full Italian, I assume it's an olive garden.
Yeah, which is either an all night pasta place
or Kirstie Ali goes to bed at six or something.
She's very tired from taking care of these kids.
Well, John DeVolta is jetting around
with his posh spice boss.
Okay, Christmas is coming.
Ah, I just want to give you this right, buddy.
I just want to give this right, but...
I just want to give this right, buddy.
You forget it for a second.
It is constantly Christmasing up.
And that's another mark in the direction of this not having been shot in New York is
that literally until the day of Christmas, it does not look cold at all anywhere.
Yeah, so we're introduced to the idea that the little boy wants a dog and it's September
I believe when he starts going back to school. Yeah, he's working on his his Christmas list in September
And he says he wants a dog and that's roughly around the same time is
Dane to veto dog squirts out of the mommy dog stuff. Yeah
So that means between September and-
I need to be dramatic about a dollar.
Between September and let's say December.
Okay.
He becomes a pretty large dog.
Let's say December since that's when Christmas is-
Let's just say December.
I hadn't realized that, but it makes more sense than if the home movie takes place in December
in which case rocks would be like a jack of a dog pretty ages four times faster than everybody
else. It's a really sad movie.
It's tragic.
Dog's already aged seven times as fast as humans.
Is there a Solomon grundy of a dog?
Sure.
That is born on a Monday.
Yeah, but the big guy, like he just lives a week, right?
Isn't that the whole thing?
He's a may fly, yeah.
Yeah.
There's a whole lot of kerfuffle over Christmas.
Is John Dervol to gonna make it there? He keeps promising, I'll be home for Christmas. I'll be home for Christmas. of kerfuffle over Christmas. Is John Travolta gonna make it there?
He keeps promising, I'll be home for Christmas.
I'll be home for Christmas.
I'll be home for Christmas.
I'll be home for Christmas.
Meanwhile, Kristie Alley and John Travolta
are kind of suspecting each other of being unfaithful
in that, and this is illustrated by a double dream sequence
in which John Travolta dances with his boss,
a tangle of some kind, and
Chrissy Alley is just like making out with George Cigal as a Santa Claus.
Yeah, Santa Claus.
Because earlier on in the movie, we didn't mention this.
Chrissy Alley, after she gets a pink slip from her like high powered like business
job, the only job she can find is as an elf in a mall Santa Claus, which seems like
in a mall Santa Claus. in a mall Santa Claus, which seems like a mall
Santa Claus inside a mall Santa Claus.
Like did the kids fall into his butt with his outfit?
Hands, the pretzels, like, hey, how you doing?
Have a spleen.
I mean, I guess.
I tell them I'm in here.
It's very warm and I don't have to pay rent.
That entrance makes no sense because it's probably the lowest entrance to the ground depending
on dick length.
Wait, so on dick length.
All right. I don't mean we can go out of dick measure.
I forgot.
You know what?
Forget I introduced the idea of injury to Santa's blood.
Let's just erase that.
But the decision on what interest to use is completely made on lowness to the
ground.
Yeah.
What are they going to get?
It's 12. You get it. The kid that I'm just checking. completely made on loan is to the good. Yeah, what are they gonna get us to all
get the kid I'm just checking.
Kids are like water. They choose the path of
lease resistance. They go in the first
hole they find, dude. Yeah, they're like
golf balls or gofers.
It's common. I know a couple of things.
That's one of them. The other is get on the floor. Wait open the door get on the floor
Everybody walk the dinosaur
I know
I
On the outside it says things I know
It is in his brain. Zoom into
This is in his brain. Zoom into Stuart's brain.
No, comment thanks, I.
There's a file cabinet with spider webs all over it.
That's just things I know.
And it's mostly drink recipes and what different boobs look like.
And there's a video cabinet next to it that just has head of the family in Missile Maniac
and Castle Freak.
Yep.
No, man.
And then there's the fact that you, a kid,
enters to the lowest difference to the pool.
And also the steps to walking the dinosaur.
Okay, I opened the door.
I think I can walk the dinosaur now.
Well, whoa, whoa, let me check.
I didn't get on the floor.
Yeah, you get crushed.
So they have a double dream sequence,
where the dreams start interacting with each other.
Yeah, and this is actually like this kind of a fun scene.
Yes, it's silly.
It plays with what you can do in film, I guess you could say.
Yeah, and then John Travolta.
And at this point, John Travolta is more...
Well, John Travolta is more charming, you say.
It says John Travolta's more charming, you know what I'm saying? He was just, was John Travolta entering the room?
Yeah.
Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh,
why are you making fun of my movie?
What is it?
This is me, John Travolta.
I was like, John Travolta does do a lot of voices in the movie.
He seems to have thought, like, I do a lot of good voices.
I'll bring them all out.
Let's do it.
So you were saying, John Travolta.
Well, I'm just saying that he's, he is a very charming dance performer.
And that's kind of what he was, yeah. Before Pul before Paul fiction, that was kind of what he was known for,
right? Was his dancing skills?
Well, the Saturday night fever, along with welcome back hot, I guess, like those things that
made him a star.
And he, yeah, dancing was something that he always had in his back pocket that he,
when you look back at his career, like, didn't use anywhere near as much as you'd think he would.
I mean, he dances a lot like, like in phenomenon or Michael, which is the one where he's
like Michael.
Michael is the one where he's an angel.
Phenomenon is the one where he has a tumor that gives him telekinetic powers.
Oh, I've seen a roadhouse in Michael where he's dancing around.
Yeah, I think after Pulp Fiction, people like, which is the one where he's dancing to
spirit in the sky.
That's Michael.
Okay.
So after Pulp Fiction, I think people are like, oh yeah, this guy can dance.
So they shoehorn dancing into like almost all of his movies.
But I can get shorty he doesn't dance, right?
No.
No, I don't think so.
He just throws James Gandalfini down a staircase,
which was another talent he had that people forgot about.
Yeah.
Gandalfini throwing.
He's so vimmedled in the Olympics.
So they're dancing.
Uh, Kristie Ali enters John Travolta's dream and it's like, oh, this is just a dream.
We're not really cheating on each other.
And Kristie says, if this is a dream, I can do whatever I want.
And she makes the blonde lady disappear revealing just two boob implants, which falls like
saline bags that fall in the air.
That doesn't make any sense at all.
Or still a gotta bag.
If her clothes disappear, why do those not disappear?
I mean, maybe that like the Lord doesn't,
like because it's not technically part of her body,
he considers them unclean.
So it doesn't accept her spears.
She was sending John Travolta back to kill John Conner.
And so like, she couldn't bring the non organic material
with her, I guess.
That makes sense, yeah.
But there was, it's like one of the many jokes in the movie
where like this is a, I guess a family movie.
But there's some I guess the early 90s was a time of very sexualized jokes and family movies.
Well, I guess nowadays they have that too.
You're all the time. Yeah. Actually, you know what?
Well, you gotta keep the pain that's interesting.
Forgot. Going to hell in a fucking hand back.
I forgot. Have you seen the way these kids dress nowadays?
Crazy. What with the what with the backwards baseball cats?
And those fucking shoes with the wheels in the heel?
Where are they going?
What do they got to do?
They got to get there so fucking fast.
You guys reminded me.
I forgot that one day a hard real rain's going to come
and wash the scum off the streets in the form of kids.
Now, and they dance together kind of in a stair Rogers-type
classic dance routine and
Long story short it all comes to a head on Christmas where the boss creates an elaborate
Ruse to get John Travolta alone with her in a cabin in a blizzard that I guess she arranged with somebody
Yeah, and she's very wealthy. She unplugs the phone slash facts machine. It's 1993
And so that he can't call
out and begins to seduce him by pretending she doesn't know how to dance. And he's got
a teacher. Christy Alley is back at home with her mom, Olympia Ducakis and the kids
and her dad who has no lines in the film. And he does not once. That's true. He does.
He does not. He got paid sag scale for that nod. And she says, you know what?
We're not going to spend Christmas without him.
We're going to go find him because apparently they're going to spend Christmas with the
cranks.
No, the cranks don't want us to tell right Christmas.
It's the other tired of it.
So they she decided she says, mom and dad, you don't have that many years left.
See you later.
Each one of these Christmas is something I cherish.
You got us, Blit.
Here's the Kaluah.
Hang out here.
And they pile the car.
They drive up to the upstate New York cabin where John Travolta is staying.
But it's a snowy road and a tree has fallen and blocked the path.
Yep.
I guess because either the wind knocked it down or the American soldiers are trying to block the Hessians
from making their way through Brooklyn
to force them across the Gawanna's Creek
and then back into Manhattan.
But they don't know about the headless Hessian
who rides through those woods.
Yeah.
Luckily, if you cross a bridge, he just has no powers.
Oh, okay, what if you cross Jeff Bridges
because he's mad at me?
Yeah. Yeah, you cross Jeff Bridges because he's mad at me?
Yeah, you cross Jeff Bridges just by making him angry then yes
Should be a soldier can't get you anymore. You should be building Jeff Bridges
If I'm not burning Jeff Bridges
Bo Bridges Doesn't have any effect
Yeah, so don't play the card in magic the gathering
You're gonna spend four forest mana to bring in Bo-Bridge's.
You tap him and it literally says has no effect.
Thanks, thanks Maximum Bob.
Yeah, you keep it because it's a foil card and it's rare.
Yeah, I mean, it's worth something,
but you don't have to put it in your playing deck.
You put in your deck because you're like,
I like a iteration, I guess.
I want to show off that I have this, but I
just hope Dingo said comes up instead. Mm-hmm. Or was that
prodigal sorcerer or something? I don't know. The what was the
that was the one where it would hit you for one life and the
really slimy kids just played over and over and over. So I
didn't actually play that much magic together. I nerd.
No, I feel nerdy. Anyway, so she, they pile into the car,
this tree gets in their way,
they drive down a hill and they're stuck.
Kristi Alley, at this point,
at this point she starts eating her children, I guess.
She's trapped in a car with her children
in the middle of a snowstorm.
She is as calm as I could imagine any parent being
in that situation.
She's like, hey kids, let's start opening presents.
And I guess I'll go out and get a stick and then walk around.
And luckily all her gifts are like cold weather survival gear.
Yeah, they're opening up hats and earmuffs.
They brought the dogs.
Isaacs, hooray.
A sturnostome.
Fantastic.
They, uh, they brought the dogs with them too.
Because of course you're driving in the winter,
you wanna bring two animals that can't be put in seat belts
and can only jump in your lap
and make you swerve off the road.
And that comes in handy when a wolf comes by.
And this wolf is the best character in the movie by far.
It's got a Catalan accent.
He has the taste of the cat lot.
Or he's, yeah, he's coded his gay. I don't know.
This wolf is for some reason coded as like a gay black man on the DL. He's like a still in the closet
Titus and draw and draw and draw it on from from Kimmy Schmidt. I'll just say Titus and
Roger this, which is a flop house joke. Not a real thing. And he fights with rocks and rocks fights them all.
He doesn't fight and rock.
He doesn't throw rocks.
No, no, no, no, rocks the character.
The dog.
So we get, by this point also, rocks the dog
and definitely the dog are in love.
Yeah, so we get, we are Greek,
to a classic Jack London call the wild situation
where rocks has to face off against,
we'll call him Spitz,
I guess.
Yeah.
Let's call him, uh, let's call him gay wolf.
Uh, I mean, there's a laser wolf, but I guess he's not gay.
No, and he wants to marry Cytle.
Yeah.
He's lonely.
What were we talking about?
Okay, wolf.
So we get.
So filler on the wolf is the story.
Is the story of a family of wolves
who are Jewish and they've got two marks against them.
One, they're Jewish and Zara's Russia.
That's tough.
Two, they're wolves.
So even the right human Jews don't want them around.
So they've got to go to America.
It's called an American tale, T-I-I-L,
Fiddler on the Wolf, part two, the reckoning.
I'm trying to come up with puns for the song.
Somewhere outwolf.
Yeah, perfect.
There are no whatever kills wolves in America
and the streets are paved with whatever wolves.
Silver?
Yeah, yeah.
Silver.
So, so, so, so, so.
No, that's deadly to these wolves.
Now, the sequel, Fiddloon the Wolf goes west,
tells the story of the same characters,
but they go west.
How far west?
Too far west.
They drown in the Pacific Ocean.
Oh, no.
Don't worry.
Luckily, they're saved by...
Sea turtles, Poseidon.
Both.
Poseidon riding a sea turtle.
OK.
And Captain Caveman, we were reintroducing the character
We're putting him for the 21st century is like a gritty Captain caveman. Okay
Savage and he's got like he's got like a giant caveman penis and balls hanging out
So into penis
That you're saying dark and gritty. I don't understand how that's,
does the dark, Christopher Nolan super movies
of all John Phoenix is hanging out?
I don't know, I thought we were just blue sky.
You're right, there's no bad ideas in this room,
except for that one.
Yeah, I didn't know there's all this judgment.
I gotta say, nothing would be less dark and gritty
than if superheroes walked around with their penis
is hanging out.
Yeah, I'm going woo, woo, woo, woo.
That's exciting.
That's the story.
As they're going to fly around.
I guess he's got that club with a little bird.
Oh no, the club now, because it's dark weight,
it's just a club that beats people.
The only way that superheroes could
activate their powers, but you're doing
a little pinwheel penis action.
Frederick Wortham would have been right.
He would have been right that comic books were distorting sexually and in the link when
ways the juveniles of America, if that was the only way they could activate their powers.
But Dr. Wortham, my character, the pinwheel, is just an innocent man who got bitten by
a radioactive penis.
And now he has to use his penis for powers.
I don't know if that to start We'll tell you what's wrong.
El Problematic gets the very least of that synopsis.
Okay, my character Batman.
He just bats things away with his penis
when Crooks throw the mat him.
And Robin, that is underage lover.
He just lives with his war and he called Junior Butts.
Junior Butts.
It's actually an old Sikh crusty sea salt who served in the merchant marine during the
Spanish-American war.
Okay, so he fights off the wolf and then goes, he suddenly smells junctrival to somewhere,
probably because junctrival to so turned on by his boss.
And he's a fair moning like crazy.
Musky.
And he runs off together.
He's wearing that blousey shirt and you know how sometimes that just traps the smell.
Yeah, yeah.
And then every movie gets released through your neck hole and your sleeve holes.
Which, that was also the time where the sleeve holes and the neck holes were meant to be super tight, but everything else is extra blousey.
It was very billowy.
It was a very billowy time.
Everyone wanted to look like a circus tent.
That was just the fashion.
So, John DeVolta meanwhile.
It's like old times where you, if you're fat,
it shows you've got extra money.
In this case, he's like,
if you have extra fabric, you have one.
If you were poor, you'd only buy shirts that fit you.
Yeah.
You wouldn't get all this extra voluminous fabric
that makes you look like you're drowning in a parachute.
So, John DeVolta went, is on to his boss.
She unplugged the phone and she's trying this to do some.
He drops on the ground and drops her from his heart.
And when she says you're fired, he's okay with it.
Rock shows up in the door.
Yeah, we have an immediate turnaround.
Yeah.
They're like, look, we, we need to end this movie now.
Let's just wrap this up super fast.
I mean, to be fair,
John Travolta never seems to be attracted to his boss
throughout the movie.
That's true.
It was more like,
she was always coming onto him,
but he was always like,
all this work,
I don't know what to do about it.
It was kind of like that movie obsession
where you're supposed to believe
that Idris Elva is being tempted away by this woman,
but at no point does he actually seem tempted.
And also he's married to Beyonce in that movie, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One of the most attractive women in the world.
I mean, it's it boggles the mind.
But anyway, so rocks find John Travolta.
Meanwhile, Daphne runs off and discovers how to be a wild dog and smells where the park
rangers are, gets them brings them back to save Percy Alley.
Rocks takes John Travolta back to the cabin, but along the way the wolf comes back with his friends,
other wolves, and a fight breaks out.
John Travolta shows up with a ragged bandana,
the bandana that Rocks was wearing,
and says, all I was attacked by wolves and Rock saved me,
and here he is!
Rocks walks in, everyone was worried that Rocks was dead.
Yeah, they waited outside for a second, they're like, this will be a hilarious Christmas prank. We'll make everyone that rocks was dead. Yeah, they waited outside for a second.
They're like, this will be a hilarious Christmas prank.
We'll make everyone believe you're dead.
Do we prank people on Christmas bosses?
That what we do?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the thing we do on Christmas.
We prank people.
We prank people on every holiday.
I'm like, wait, am I?
My friends are amazing.
Am I technically your boss or is that like a new nickname?
Do I have to pay you?
Well, you already pay me in food.
So, yeah, basically, should I be contributing to like pension have to pay you? Well, you already pay me in food. So yeah, basically,
should I be contributing to like pension and health for you? Yeah, I'm going to plan from my future
boss. So John, Jeff, all to come to the range of station to find his family. I'm only assuming,
since we don't see him, the rangers in the back room, like slowly oiling a pistol to commit
suicide, because there's one moment of happiness and family connection has
been stripped from him.
Yeah, by these squatters.
But the ranger turns up his radio and they hear Santa Claus over the radio.
The boy's faith in Santa is rekindled and the movie is over.
Or so you think, because that's when the craziness starts.
Yeah, this is the best part of the movie.
At the very end of the movie during the credits.
We were all, I at least was expecting us a shot of rocks and daffney, the dogs running
around and then a bunch of fucking puppies that look like each of them chasing after them.
We're a bunch of bloopers.
Let's just face this.
Yeah, bloops.
Run of the mill bloops.
Or like little versions of the two babies running after the babies. What to signify the passage of time?
Yeah, I don't know.
But instead, suddenly the way that things are filmed gets changed.
And I joke like, oh, here comes the music video
because it looked like a music video.
It's a different film style.
And it turns out, no, it actually was a musical video
from famous baby...
You're famous. And drag them up. actually was a musical video from famous baby.
I'm trying to come up.
James Jim.
Baby musical star, Jordy.
Now, you may not remember Jordy.
That's because he is a French novelty act
who had his first hit when he was a baby.
And Santa Claus stops by the house,
a different house than we've seen previously in the film
than living in.
And shove this super cool rad kid in sunglasses
and a backwards hat in the young clothes,
down the chimney, where the two kids
stars the movie are playing, this kid.
The first time I thought it was like an hour or twist thing.
The first one was like, and Santa was like,
they had to bring a new kid.
Is that what's going on?
Is this the story?
Did the movie forget from the beginning of the film
how babies are made?
And now Santa the Liverism, this kid delivers a message.
This French kid.
It's like French, not quite rap, not quite techno,
not at all rock and roll song about how it's Christmas.
And with the laziest delivery,
I think the only performing child has ever had.
He's like, hey, cool kid, you're so cool.
You don't really have to move when you dance.
Yeah, and he thinks about how it's Christmas.
Yeah, say Christmas.
It's called, it's Christmas, say no well.
Say no well, yeah.
It's Christmas, say no well, yeah.
And he brings to life with magic dust
the dolls of the world that they're all has gotten.
And then it turns out they're all in a dollhouse
and Kristie Allian Dondervolta have been sleeping
through most of this. And they wake up and they're like in a dollhouse, and Kristie Allian Dundravolta have been sleeping through most of this, and they wake up,
and they're like peering into the dollhouse
and seeing, I assume with horror,
that their children have been miniaturized
with like a bunch of stewar levels,
and are now trapped inside this dollhouse
with a functioning fireplace.
And we're being led to Santa like a piper situation.
I have to say, if I was them,
I would see Santa on the roof and grab him,
like King Kong, and shake him,
and be like, what have you done to my children?
We'll bring them back around and I'll brush your old elf skull.
I've watched enough puppet master movies and demonic toys movies to know that that doesn't work.
Cause he turns his hands into buzz sauce and chop your wrist off.
That's a very good point.
I don't want to over six guns.
I don't want to overstate the final credits of this movie, but we watched the rest of this movie,
you know, mostly like a normal flop house movie. but we watched the rest of this movie, you know,
mostly like a normal flop house movie.
And then as soon as the credits hit hysterical laughter.
It's like we hit hyperdrive.
It was the non-salt laughter we couldn't catch our breath.
Tears flying from our faces, like lusty Japanese characters in cartoons.
And it was like, yeah, it was I think because the movie is pretty boring
and dull. It's a normal. It's just a, it's just a spiderman's Christmas family movie with
talking dogs. And then suddenly, and also American. It is such a snapshot of America in middle
class white America in 1993. And then suddenly this, like, the door to madness flies open.
And only the way that a European novelty act can do,
it just becomes crazy and you're like,
what is this?
What rules are the universe is this playing by?
Because it has nothing to do.
Like, I expect there to at least be a dog
in this music video, but there's no dogs.
But it is crazy. It's worth watching. It's no dogs. But it is crazy.
It's worth watching this.
It's across the message that it's Christmas.
It's Christmas.
Yeah, it's worth watching the movie to get to that point
because I feel like it's not gonna have the full impact
unless you see the whole film.
Yeah, oh boy, howdy.
You know, what I liked about this movie is how much of it
takes place.
So much of the scenes are the kids and the dogs running around this tiny little apartment
and it feels like they're trapped there like some like one act play.
Yeah, it's the exterminating angel or no eggs.
It's just something.
Sure.
Well, we should give our final judgment in this movie.
We've gone way along.
Is this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie you kind of liked?
I'm gonna I'm honestly because it's such a snapshot of early 90s America as you said and because
Maybe in no small part of the little push over the edge that final
I'm gonna give it a marginal good bad movie. I enjoyed this movie a lot more than I expected.
Maybe it's because of the I think it's almost it's almost certainly because of the curve that we're grading these things on
because you thought any DeVito was hilarious. Yeah.
As the wisecrock and dragon dog rocks. This is the same wise crockin. Yeah. Tomorrow Dan's gonna have to smear some bruise cream
on his knees because he was slapping those knees
at all of them jokes.
Yeah, Stan, I'm glad that you finally tied
your side's shut because they were splitting.
Yeah.
Uh, I though, actually, I agree with you
because I think similar to Golden Child,
if you grew up in the same years that I grew up in,
then just looking at the
clothes that everybody is wearing in this makes it worth having fun watching. And yeah,
that video at the end is like, what? I almost wish we hadn't mentioned it. So that people
would be able to discover it on their own. But I'm gonna say marginal good bad. It's not
a, it's not so bad that it's fun. But it's like, if you want to see a movie where every
outfit people wear is a crazy trip back in time
20 years ago. Yeah, go for it. It's due. Yeah, let's do three for three guys marginal good bad. It's
Watch watch with somebody you love
For a dog the movie that opens up with dogs talking to each other and then dog sperm flying toward an egg and
And ends with a little French kid rapping about Christmas.
Yes, but great.
And in between it's all hats and puffy shirts.
Yeah, yeah, watch this thing.
New to Maximum Fun, the Beef and Dairy Network podcast,
the number one podcast for those involved,
or just interested in the production of beef animals
and dairy herds.
All sponsored by Grey's X, the latest grass replacement pellet from Mitchell's.
If it's not Mitchell's, get back in the truck.
Find us at maxmanfan.org or on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast from.
And if it's not clear, this is a comedy podcast.
Beef out.
Okay, so, wow, that's three for three.
That's final judgments.
Now it's time for now.
Now it's time for a little bit of flop house, house cleaning.
Is it flop house housework or?
You call it that nobody else calls that.
I'll just call it Jujuja Jumbo Tron.
Jumbo Tron.
Jumbo, this for today's Jumbo Tron message reads,
an idiotic man named Dink is pulled into several tales of intrigue around the world.
Coming into contact with ghosts, UFO cults, undead pirates, and roving gangs of clowns.
These are my own honest words. I swear, this book is great. It's called Dink and it's really, really funny. If you
want to learn more, why don't you go visit www.dinkthebook.com. That's all one word. Or just search
for L.P. Wallinger on Amazon.com. That's the author, yeah.
You won't know what the clue is until you Google it.
Yep. So yeah, check that out.
And if you'd like to have your message on the jumbo tron,
go to maximumfund.org slash jumbo tron.
jumbo tron.
Yep, jumbo tron.
And if you'd like a real life jumbo tron,
just like get a big movie screen and project tron on it.
Jumbo's project tron on the side of an elephant.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, operation jumbo drop.
But now it's time to move on to letters from listeners.
Your favorite segments.
My favorite segment.
His favorite segment.
Who's he?
Who knows?
This is a spoken word version of one of my songs.
That's right.
Suddenly Dan's trying to get in on the act of wasting time
before the letters start. Well get one thing straight
Get one thing straight dick. Nobody waste time like Elliott
Nobody waste time like Elliott. Let's count the number of ways he can waste time
One two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, that just can't
it as one way counting is a way to waste time. Number two, remembering things. Hey, guys,
do you remember a couple minutes ago? You were saying the same thing about the more
breakdown. Normally, I just pretend to be annoyed by this, but oh boy, avoid the noise,
Dan. You know what? I made a mistake. Before we move on to letters, I just pretend to be annoyed by this, but oh boy. No, avoid the noise, Dan.
You know what?
I made a mistake before we move on to letters.
I just wanted to thank a couple of people.
At least it a song.
I just want to thank a couple of people who sent things in.
Thank you to Vanessa for the Colonial Williamsburg cookbook
and other ephemera that she sent to me.
Thanks also to Anne Marie Newman for the care package.
Came on a bad day, so it was much appreciated.
And then a gift to all of us here at the flop house.
A big thanks to Bill O'Donnell for the very generous gift
of a digital recorder.
That's amazing.
Oh yeah, thanks Bill.
That's too nice.
As a backup, he sent it in saying,
in case there was another Babylon AD situation. He wanted us to have a lost episode
I'm back up recording option and so we do now. Thank you so much above and beyond Bill. Yeah, very much so
I don't mean that nearly as sarcastically as my voice always sounds
It just sounds like I think what he means it from his heart, but thank you very much
Thank you. I want But thank you very much. Thank you.
I want to thank you.
Oh.
Wow.
Mr. Roboto.
But the first letter of the evening is from Pete last name
with hell who writes Peter Dinklage.
After you guys, it's me Pete D.
Thank you for watching my movie, Little Bit of Heaven.
Big fan.
After your fateful findings episode, I had to write in.
My partner and I cemented our relationship at a midnight showing of Neil Briein's modern
masterpiece, which screened in the theater to us and maybe five other people.
Later on, we rallied a few friends to attend another screening. And as incentive, I created a drinking game I call an e-breenated after the film was
writer, slash director, slash hunk, slash heavy, slash hacker, slash magician.
Which all I think is also the caterer who also may be supernatural. If you're interested, you can find it in his
all-cigolory here, and he sends a link to the the drinking game, which I hope I
remember to put up on the website. Only time will tell. I bring it up.
Listen, listen, somebody called Dan on Saturday and reminded to put it up.
Yeah, it's one, two, three, fake number. You just programming. Wow, you got that one locked in. Yeah. How do you buddy is spell this? Your area code is one two three
That is right. I
live in
Colonial Williamsburg. Oh, yeah, that's where you get the first area. Yeah, I
Bring it up because at the end of the break, we is how we used to dip candles. B-b-b-b. What's that? Goody Thomas?
Yeah.
I'll stop by.
Sorry.
Colonial booty call.
We had these back then.
I bring it up because of the end of the drinking game.
The winner slash loser was tasked with calling Neil Brain.
We found an old ad.
Apparently he was or is in a real estate agent.
Oh, it still is.
With a phone number.
And I was promptly added to the game.
Oh, he must live in Colonial is. With a phone number. And I was promptly added to the game. He must live in colonial Williamsburg
because of phone number. And fellows I called and Neil Brain picked
up for real. I was totally paralyzed. I'm not an experienced
prank caller or anything. And I didn't think there was any
chance I'd be talking to. Did you call him sizzle just? But he
says, I had to learn from the best. I didn't think there was any chance
to be talking to Dylan.
Whoops, sometimes I call Brain by his character names.
He really disappears and draw a role.
He said, hello, hello, hello, and then waited
before hanging up.
Anyway, I do have a request.
Is there any possibility you could call on the power
of the Flop House fans to dig up Brains older movies double down and especially I'm here ellipsis now
With an extra dot the ellipsis is that the one where he's like a cyborg Jesus?
Well, that's what he says. I'm here now is the one where Neil appears to be some kind of robot space Jesus who an axe for Vengeon drug dealers or something
Double down was briefly on YouTube, but I left before I could consume it all.
That's the one where Neil Brin is
to breaded chicken patties, right?
Mm-hmm.
That one, I can't explain double down.
I watched it, God help me.
I can't.
This is Dan talking to the voice of Dan and not the writer.
Yeah.
I did, however, witness an even recluster abandon
when it came to laptop usage in Double Down. And Neil's exclamation of, I did, however, witness an even recklesser abandon when it came to laptop usage and
double down.
And Neil's exclamation of, oh geez, when his topples girlfriend was shot by a sniper while
she was in a hot tub is not to be missed.
Pete last name withheld.
But he's got a new one coming up.
Pass through.
Something like that.
Yeah.
I'm not sure what he's calling us to do when he says, is there any possibility you can
call him the power of the floppas to dig up Neil brain's older movies.
I mean they do exist.
You can buy them from him right?
I don't know whether the earlier ones you can still buy via the brain website.
They'd be crazy.
Why would findings you can only officially buy from him?
I know that if you dig hard enough both double down and and I'm here, ellipsis now are on the
internet for free.
Yeah, what if you're the world's best hacker?
But that's Neil Brane.
Why would he steal his own movies?
What if I was Neil Brane second, that's how the government secrets.
Yeah.
And the second world's best hacker, swordfish, aka Hugh Jackman, is busy dancing up a storm
on Broadway or something.
So this all sounds ridiculous to you, new listeners. Go check out the film works of Neil
Brin. Yeah, just our episode on Fable Findings. I did a group watch of both of these movies with
the flopp house. Well, with the Flophouse Facebook group. Oh, thank you.
Something that a lonely person does. Oh, wow. Oh, damn, that's not true.
I mean, it kind of is, but.
But they're both worth watching.
I mean, my favorite, my favorite of the two is I'm here now.
I think that-
I think it plays a robot space Jesus.
Yeah, I think that fateful findings is still the most accessible one in terms of
if you're looking for a bad movie to watch, you know, people,
but I'm here now is maybe the craziest one. If you're, if you love the ending of a fateful findings
where he gets all the corrupt government officials to commit suicide, you will double
love the end of I'm here now where he literally crucifies the bad guys on crosses out in the desert.
That sounds great. Yeah. Okay, sold. I'll watch that. I'll buy that for a dollar.
He'll bring his Robocop. Oh, no way. I guess that may, I mean, that's kind of what Robocop is
is a Robo space, Jesus. Yeah, very much so. He comes back.
This next one is from Alex last time with hell who writes,
I need to know your answers to a very winter question.
I thought Alex Mack.
Oh, okay.
We'll find out.
Let's say a genie appears to you and offers the following deal.
You will receive a no limit credit card
and the genie will pay your bill.
You and your family will not.
Why does he just give you the infinite money?
Can I call myself a no limit soldier?
Do whatever you want to do.
Okay, wow, I guess you're speaking for the letter.
Right here in the genie.
That's right.
So answer my question.
I like a like a high neck.
A high kneeho.
Some kind of game genie who gave me 99 lives on contrary.
But made me flicker in a weird way.
You will receive a no limit credit card
and the genie will pay you bill.
Well, what I like about that is the genie.
Like, I don't give a shit of the genie pays or not.
I just don't want to pay.
That the genie has to write a check out.
I guess it's just direct pulled from his bank account.
Yeah, the credit card company is more powerful
than a genie.
A genie's inside the lamp sitting at a desk
with little half glasses on his nose,
writing a check and putting it on the little,
but make this out to capital one or a well,
messed a card or what?
I don't know, how do I this work?
Forget.
I'm a thousand years old.
You and your family will never again want for money or any material needs.
However, in order to earn this arrangement, you must agree to watch the movie last
Vegas once a day and Monday through Friday.
You're not allowed to multitask, close your eyes, play on your phone, etc.
If you miss the day, the genie stops paying your bills.
Last Vegas is 105 minutes long, which works out to about a nine hour work week.
The rest of your time is your own, which you can use to watch better movies, do rewarding
creative work, jerk off, etc.
I can't do that while watching Last Vegas.
Well, you can't multitask.
What if he's turned on by the babes in Last Vegas?
It's still multitasking.
How is this going to be enforced?
Is there going to be like another genie with a gun?
At that point, the genie has to watch.
Apparently, the only repercussion
is that the contract is pointed.
Well, but the genie has to watch the movie with you
to make sure, and so that means the genie has to watch
every day and he's like, why did I do this?
I'm really punishing myself.
Yeah. The pistol was just a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a...
I'm a little bit of a... I'm a little bit of a... I'm a little bit of a... I'm a son you got a feed I put him to college eventually
Well
Dan's become a bad boy
Sure you take that deal last Vegas. I mean not even the worst movie
I'm a week Dan I didn't realize that I touched the nerve
by being attentive about that.
For, for I'm living in my life.
Does the credit card expire?
Like, no, man.
The problem, do you have to like,
do I get miles?
I don't feel like I don't know everything.
The only way it expires is if you stop watching
last Vegas.
Are you, are you going to be able to travel?
You got to watch it on a plane.
Yeah, do you have to watch last time?
I guess that's like an office.
Well, there's that.
If you charge up your laptop,
I assume that you can watch it wherever.
Yeah, can I bring lust luck?
Can I just download it to an iPad?
And that's my last Vegas iPad.
And I just watch that.
Does multitasking include like being on a plane
or a train and automobile, if you will?
I think most of the mobile.
I'm terminated as multitasking just means that if you will. I think most of the automobile, I'm terminated as multi-tasking,
just means that if you're doing something
that would distract you from watching last Vegas
at the same time.
Okay.
So I don't think that necessarily being on a plane
qualifies, but that's just me.
We got to talk to this genius.
What I would really like is for Dan to take this bet
with a genie and then have to explain it the first
time he goes on a date with a young lady. So what do you do?
He's like someone's best mate. Last for a genie. Check please.
I know he's genie guys.
I'll have what he's having.
Now why what what's the genie get out of you?
I mean, I get up and watch Las Vegas first thing
in the morning just to get it over.
That's how you would schedule your day.
Yeah, you want to start out a high note.
I mean, I don't watch it late at night
when you're sleepy and maybe you miss the end of it.
No, because then you avoid that contract.
Yeah, this genie's tough. Yeah. So, but what if, let's, okay, let can't fully that contract. Yeah, this genius tough.
Yeah.
So, but what if, let's, okay, let's look at my day.
Sure.
So, Sammy gets up 730.
I guess I can get him.
Sammy is your dog.
Sammy is my son that you met.
It's my almost two and a half year old child
who you met.
He's the light of my life.
He wrote a song called Lego Chicken Nugget.
And I really like it a lot.
He wakes up around like 730.
So I get up before him at like 530 and watch the last Vegas.
That way I'm already pooped before I'm even taking care of him.
But then if I can't take care of him, I'm watching the movie.
That's the only way I gotta do it.
What during his nap?
Or I guess, I mean, we have a nanny now.
So maybe Sam
again sign up for this genie deal and then he'll have to watch it with you. I
don't want him watching that much television at his age. Certainly not last
minute. Yeah, but what's he not watching television?
I have a real estate use of being old. He's got to understand that it's okay to
it's okay to objectify women if you're an old man. But he's got to understand that
he's got unlimited money for life as long as he watches this fucking movie.
That's the other thing then.
So do does that pass on to the next generation or when I die, does the credit card get cut
off and so that my family is not wealthy anymore?
Can we write ourselves a bunch of checks for money on the credit card?
The genie pays that off and we're like, see ya, we've got enough money and I just charged
a hundred million dollars worth of it.
Yeah, I think he just loophole this journey.
Yeah, take that journey,
because I don't need infinite money.
Yeah, I just need a lot of money.
Yeah, you just devalue down to Georgia, that journey.
And now here's the other question.
What's the credit, let's the credit limit
on this credit card?
Because it's not like,
It's a magic card.
I think it's got no credit.
Oh, it's a magic card.
No, there's no such thing as a free lunch day.
There's always a catch. It's like, it's a magic card. No, there's no such thing as a free lunch day. There's always a catch.
It's like, I gotta be one.
There's only a last big.
It's only like $95 annual fee.
But also, so, but it's like,
can I only charge up to a certain amount for certain times
or is this just an infinity card?
Genie, write in and explain this.
Yeah.
And we'll see then.
We'll see whether we're taking your deal or not.
I was about to call it a job B, but I'm just saying. You do you love me. You do you love me. Are you straight?
Tripping. You got me straight paying off your credit card.
I'm straight. So yeah, I would watch that show.
Shit's Creek with Eugene. Lovey. If you said that line in every episode,
that show chits Creek with Eugene Levy if you said that line in every episode.
Maybe it's a fine show. I haven't seen it.
Last letter of the evening.
It's titled, I'm a genie.
Tiled in response to Dan and the golden child asking if people know new what he was talking about.
And it goes like this. This isn't Strega known is it?
I do. He's talking about touching his weiner. Sent from my iPhone, Rick. Oh, I don't remember what that's what I was
talking about. I remember what it was in reference to. I was talking about
touching your weiner. Touching you were touching my weiner. Yeah. What why were you
doing that? When we were recording? Yeah, just to see. Just to see what if it's
still there. Yeah, man. See what's going on
See what's going on. I'm the only one with a child. I'm the only one who has
Evidence that he has a penis
He was doing it as some kind of fertility idol. Oh, well that makes sense then. Okay. Oh, that's all you say
For all I know you're like a Kindle down there a kindle I can't
You're a kindle down that you're like sort of a pleasant experience, but there's something a little off about it kind of hurts your eyes Eventually, I don't really enjoy it as much as like no, but that's true my piece is not a full substitute for an actual book. Yeah
So now what do we do in this fucking thing?
now
the last and a final.
Those two words mean the same thing.
Segment on the show.
The post-Penultimate segment is recommendations.
Movies that we watch, that we actually liked,
that we would recommend people to watch without the usual capgats.
Okay, so there's a new segment
where we recommend a movie
that like not there.
It literally goes back to the first episode of this show.
We'll see if it sticks.
You gotta constantly reinvent ourselves.
Try it out.
We're like Madonna that way.
It goes back to episode number one.
Is there a movie?
I mean, I'll go if you you're talking. Keep going.
Sure. I watched a little movie that a lot of people, I think, dismissed without seeing it for
a couple of good reasons. Number one, it has a totally stupid title. Number two, it had a terrible...
Jurassic Park. Number two, it had a terrible trailer. Number three, it was written by someone
that the internet has decided they hate. That's the Oblacote. Okay, but I watched the movie called
Ricking in the Flash. She made the mistake. Oh, yeah successful. Yeah
and
I really liked Ricky in the flash. It was I mean you got it
I watched it because Jonathan Demi directed it and Jonathan Demi is one of my favorite directors
Weird he of
Stop making sense and something wild and science of the lambs
Stop making sense and something wild and sounds to the lens.
It's funny how that first movie is about music and the last movie is about silence.
Yeah. And Rachel getting married, which I like a lot more than most people do. Like me. I don't like it very much either, but hey, it's a free country you can like whatever you want.
Well, then you probably won't like ricking in the flash because I feel like it's a slightly worse version of Rachel getting married and that it's about Marl Street as a rock star, right?
Well, but it's also like she goes back home first to comfort her daughter who is getting divorced, but then to go to the wedding of her son who is getting gay married.
And.
Or married.
who is getting gay married and or married as it's called. I'm specifying that because she plays
like kind of a Republican character in the...
Ricky?
movie.
So she, like, it's a difference that would not pass her by her character.
But it's the same sort of like a family gets together and then
there's a lot of music sort of movie that Rachel getting married was.
Oh, yeah, it's really right that I won't like it.
Um, but you never know.
Yeah, but Rachel getting married had LHX girlfriend.
So yeah, it's some extra baggage.
Right off the bat.
I was not into it and also not my X girlfriend.
Mm-hmm. It's a bat, I was not into it and also not my extra run.
It's a little.
Does no exist.
It's a little self-indulgent
towards the end with all the musical numbers,
especially because I don't think that,
I mean, as good as Mara Street.
Self-indulgent, raves Dan with like,
as good as Mara Street is in the live musical numbers
because they are all they are all done
like they're all like
She's actually doing performing. Yeah, as good as she is like she's not necessarily as good as you would want her to be
Considering she's a great actress not a rock. Yeah, considering there's like 50 musical numbers in the movie
You'd be like all right. That's enough of this. But she's better than a mama mia, right?
She's definitely better than mama mia.
What about Into the Woods?
Is she better than Into the Woods?
She's better than Into the Woods.
Okay.
Is she better than in Cramer versus Cramer,
where she doesn't sing?
No, she's not better than Cramer versus Crick.
Okay.
But it's, you know, it's got her and Kevin Klein plays her ex-husband and I always love seeing Kevin Klein and he's basically any fucking thing.
Mr. Fish Oater.
So, if you were put off by the stupid fucking name or as I said, the terrible trailer,
it's not a bad name.
Give it, and neither of those things put me off.
Yeah.
If anything, you remind me that John Damien directed it, puts me off. Give it, and neither of those things put me off. Yeah. If anything, you're reminding me that John Damie directed it,
puts me off.
Wait, really?
We know that, you know, there's not such huge fans.
Really?
Yeah, he's all right.
All right.
Yeah, you saw a truth about Charlie and you're like,
fuck this.
I was like, tell me some lies about Charlie.
This is the truth.
Well, you just reminded me how awesome Silverado is.
Another movie with Kevin Klein.
That's not my recommendation. I'll recommend that at another time, if I haven't already. Well, you just reminded me how awesome Silverado is, another movie with Kevin Klein, but that's
not my recommendation.
I'll recommend that at another time, if I haven't already.
So I recently watched The Invitation, which is a thriller.
I can't remember the name of the director, but she directed Girl Fight, and she also directed Aeon Flux and another movie
or two.
But she's been around and made a couple of movies, and this is a fairly small movie.
It's a thriller.
It's about a guy who is invited to a dinner party with some old friends, and it's being
hosted at his ex's house, who he hasn't seen him quite a while, and the two of them split up under after
some kind of a trauma. And it is really tense, and it's also, I think in a lot of ways, very true
to life, and it reflects the way people kind of get over, or like deal with grief a little bit.
of get over a deal with grief a little bit. And it's a great thriller. So check it out, the invitation.
I'm going to recommend a less-new movie than you guys recommended, which is a moment of surprise. I'm usually pretty cutting edge with my recommendations. You usually recommend a movie that
comes out in three years. Yeah. I'm going to recommend a movie from the 70s called
China 9 Liberty 37, which I originally recorded
because the title is crazy.
But it's a spaghetti western.
The Italian title was Amore Piaumboi Furore
or something like that, which is like love
something and everything.
Perfect.
Perfect. Perfect.
I don't know.
Perfect.
Perfect pronunciation.
Yeah.
But I know it as China 9 Liberty 37.
It's a Monty Helman movie who did, you know, like Tulane Blacktop and Cockfighter.
And there's just called Cockfight.
Yeah.
Fire and I believe.
And it stars Warren Oates who worked with him a lot.
And the Italian actor Fabio Testi, and also Jenny Agutter,
a beverage pronounced from, from, uh,
walk about, she's not called a midwife now.
Uh, American, why are we from London?
Yeah. And it's the story of a, a gunman who is about to be hanged and they say,
hey, the railroad wants this, this ex gunman dead.
They say, hey, hey, hey, dude, it's kind of like that.
So leave your shorts.
The the railroad wants this ex gunfighter dead.
If you kill him, you're off the hook.
We're not going to hang you.
But he finds comes to like the guy.
Warnotes who's this ex gun fighter who's still a super tough guy.
And unfortunately falls for the gunfighter's much younger wife.
And it's like a spaghetti western with a film or plot applied to it.
And it's a movie that I'm recommending partly because I enjoyed it.
It's not the most amazing movie in the world,
but it's a really good, solid spaghetti western.
And if you wanted to see the mother superior from Call of Midwife nude,
she's nude in a bunch of scenes at it.
But it's also a movie that has never,
I think, received a home video release.
I saw it because it was on turn of classic movies.
And so it's one of those movies I'm saying
that you should, if you like spaghetti westerns,
you might not see it unless you're looking out
for it or you happen to catch it.
I mean, it's got that catchy title.
Yeah, but also the... What is it, China you happen to catch it. I mean, it's got that catchy title. Yeah, but also the...
What is it, China 32?
China 9 Liberty 37, which it turns out
is what two signs at the beginning of the movie say.
Oh, it's not like a volleyball score.
Well, that's the thing, I was like,
I cannot begin to understand what this title means.
First this title.
But because it's, I don't know that it was ever fully released on film
It's one of the few times where I'm gonna say like you should download this movie if you want to see it because
You shouldn't I don't like people to download movies for free when they could pay to see him
But if the owners of the rights are seemingly going out of their way not to make it available readily then like go for it
And it's one of the few times that I'll say that about a movie.
So it's almost hardly for the novelty of that that I'm saying go see it.
But I enjoyed it. China 9 Liberty 37. A title that sounds crazy.
And Dan is taking pictures of Stuart holding Archie. Archie's a cat. No, aren't yet, I'm not Archie Andrews. It's adorable.
But as, you know, no matter how adorable it is, all good things need to come to an end.
As seasons change, so does the podcast.
Seasons change with the scenery, weaving time in a tapestry.
Yeah, hazy shade of winter.
Or she stopped and remember us.
Two dogs have cells.
A baby dog comes out.
And that dog will one day have sex with another dog
and so forth.
Before returning to the earth,
like so much dead dog.
I'm really stopping a metaphor at the end.
Okay, well, thank you for that.
I am for the flop house.
I've been Dan McCoy. Hey, I'm Stuart
Wellington. And what's up, Elliot Kaelin over here saying bye.
Well, peace. See ya. That's all on. Bye. Bye. I love you.
It's just a good surprise. It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise.
It's just a good surprise. It's just a good surprise. It's just a good surprise. It's just a good surprise. It's just a good surprise. How you say there? She's working, we?
They're like, no, she looks like an hour ago. Working?
Is he wearing a bride of the robot,
pinball machine?
Say, call the man,
you're my pal, give me some car.
Sir, no, we got rid of that pinball machine years ago.
Oh, I'm,
they, they,
at them's family.
Oh, yeah, we, we, I mean, yes, yes. Oh, is it the Adam's family?
Oh, yeah, we, we.
I mean, yes, yes.
Now I'm doing it.
Now I'm doing it.
Go on, character.
Maximumfund.org.
Comedy and culture.
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Baby geniuses.
Hi, I'm Lisa Hannah Walt.
And I'm Emily Heller.
And if you're not listening to our podcast, Baby Geniuses, you're missing out on Stuff
Flight.
Camille Nanjiani solving the Zodiac murders.
Oh, who's like, will you ever go to a friend and you're like, hey, could you lick all these
envelopes for me?
You'll be like, you're a serial killer.
Definitely, I'm leaving right now.
Guy Brannum talking about Ruth Bitter Ginsburg.
And it was, it was just a great moment of like, oh no, I'm here, boys. Like, I'm on
this side of the bench. Megan Amram talking about intimidating
barris does. Just feel like they're always in character. Like, they're always in character
as like cool hipster girl. And I just want to break through that barrier. Plus, every week
we explore a new Wikipedia page and talk to a crazy expert in the field
of nonsense.
Well, any hack can make you not have a poner.
I mean, that's about how you do it, you know.
Right.
And we're the only podcast with regular updates about Martha Stewart's pony or your money
back.
We're not going to get them their money back, are we?
No.
Let's keep it.
Yeah, listen to our show.
Every other Monday on Maximum Fun.
Yay!
No, let's keep it.
Yeah, listen to our show.
Every other Monday on Maximum Fun.
Yay!