The Flop House - Ep. #205 - Gods of Egypt

Episode Date: May 28, 2016

Live from Cake Shop as part of NYC Podfest. It's Gods of Egypt.

What do you say we get this started? This is a song that Joey said, how about we get this started? Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the NYC by the stage, the original peaches themselves, the flop house! Hey everybody! Hey! Hey everyone! Are these Sir Non? Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out!

Check it out! Hey everybody! Hey! Hey everyone! Are these Sir Non? Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! Hi everybody. Hey. Are these turned on? Check, check, check.

Check, check. One, two, three. Hey, rock, Eric, ML. Wow. That's already like talking to people and others. Hey, how are you? Personal. What's up?

Who's here from out of town? We don't need to do that. All right. I feel like. I'm going to go on a limb here, guys, but I think New York City is the best city. I heard, you know, when the flop house performed in Brooklyn, we heard that Brooklyn rocked pretty hard.

But here in Manhattan, I don't know. The smallest tour. So we should introduce ourselves. I mean, that's traditional. Sure. Hey, everyone, I'm Dan McCoy. Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Hey there, Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. Yeah! Yeah! Hey, Dan and Stu, I'm Elliot Kaelin. Yeah!

Yeah! Are you sure you seem like an imposter? You're wearing a suit. I am dressed nicely, which is not how I'm Elliott K. Yeah. Are you sure you seem like an imposter? You're wearing a suit. I am dressed nicely, which is not how I'm usually dressed for the plot house. Usually I am wearing a pajamas pants. Yeah, I've been made into junk pants. And not so much a shirt, I guess. I mean, it started as a shirt.

And then through years of a game I call Huggle Porcupine. It's just been shredded. It's not what it sounds like. You're actually having sex with the Borky Fine. I call it hugging. But no, I'm dressed up, unlike these other guys, because I came straight here from the pee body. Words.

Oh. You're a real awards dropper. Yeah. Yeah, I did drop the award and it broke. I mean, I do work on the same show. I don't know why I'm so bitter about this. Yeah. You shared a piece of that.

You just weren't at the event. Yeah. You didn't get to see Steve Martin and David Letterman on stage. Yeah, you're behind camera talent. Yeah. I have, you know behind camera talent. Yeah. I have, you know, Dan once played a Santa Claus in a wrestling. You know, sorry.

So, that, I once played a guy who was me who explained. It was the part you were born to play. I once played a guy who explained anal English to John Stewart. So. Yeah, so your parents kept a copy. who explained analinguists to John Stewart. So... Yeah, yeah. So your parents kept a copy, that was. They were literally out of the country, what had happened? This is weird, we can see everyone.

Yeah, and what I... This is intimate... It's intimate. This is intimate. This is an intimate stage. I'm really old with my microphone, so I can look at you guys when I talk. Dan, why are you turning into Deesniter's Strangelands?

We're sitting at a table for the people listening to this with big microphones in front of us, and it feels like we're at the UN. We're explaining why we're in Jehovah's Witnesses. We're explaining why we're in Jehovah's Witnesses. Right now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Dan, speaking of explanations, can you explain to the audience at home and here in the room and in space when it gets beamed out to aliens? When we put it on a golden record.

Yeah. What do we do on this podcast? This is a podcast where we watch. I mean, what is this? Is it a podcast? It's a podcast. Okay. Where we watch a bad is this? Is it a podcast? It's a podcast. Okay. Where we watch a bad movie, and then we talk about it.

Now... Yeah! And now, Dan, if I... You look excited by premises. Yeah. If I can ask you a question, Dan, roughly put, I think you'll understand what I mean. Manishchanah, Halalahaseh.

No, please. Why is this episode different from all other episodes? Because we are doing it live, live, live. Alayla Hussein. Why is this episode different from all other episodes? Because we are doing it live, live, live. From the cake shop in beautiful Newark City, it's part of the NYC pod fest. Yeah, that's totally true. And also why is this episode different? On all other episodes of the Fly Fouse, we watch the movie, and then we immediately record. That's right. Yes.

But on tonight's episode, we watched it earlier this afternoon. And now we're recording. And as we're watching, our usually fairly slip shot, grasp of the details of the film, may slip yet another shoe. Yeah, let's. Which I'm just realizing is the literal meaning of slip shot. You're going to go on an adventure with us.

An adventure through the brain, specifically our brains, as we try and remember. What film are we trying to remember, Dan? Gods of Egypt? Yes. I barely even remember the title of the movie we watched. I think that's part of it. It's part of it.

Well, I think part of it is there's also Exodus Gods and Kings. Yeah, it's not even the movie. It's not even the only movie about Egypt with Gods in the title. Yeah. Within what like a featuring an entirely all-like cast. Uh, I, okay. Now here's the most. Almost, okay, I, okay, now here's the thing.

Almost, okay, I'm sorry. It is a mostly white cast. It is an entirely non-Egyptian cast. Yeah, that's a good point. But they managed to throw in several of the races as extras. Snakes. And there's also giant snakes.

Where's their representation? That's a race. Yeah. You're forgetting about the parts played by a cadre of bullmen. That's true. You were kind of like, I imagine like the kids grew up seeing Rocksteady and B-Bob on TV and were like, maybe there is a place for me in entertainment. But we should, I guess, should we talk about it in the movie?

Yeah, usually we dick around a little bit. Yeah, like, yeah. So instead, let's not do that. Which we've been just been doing, Dan. Guys, I think it's time that we get right down to anew business. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I think. Dan, top that, top that, Dan. Top that.

I've been working on that since 1 p.m. Her For the movie Now is that a playoff and it's already better than a Moral off of Horace Just also the name of a character. Yeah, it's the same playoff of both. Okay, and I'm gonna go. Oh I That should have been mine. That's my impression of Egyptian Dan McGoy.

So let's take you back. Let's everyone close our eyes, which is what you would not do if you were watching the movie because the visuals are the only things of interest in the film. And imagine that we live in a world called Ancient Egypt. It's not the Ancient Egypt you're aware of. It's not your daddies, ancient Egypt. It's not your daddies. It's weird that if we live in the world called ancient Egypt,

we're calling it ancient Egypt. It seems like we should call it the present day. No. They were very meta and very aware of their place in history. Yeah. They were like, this isn't forever. Some day we'll all be old. We'll be ancient Egypt. So this is an ancient Egypt where all the

crazy god nonsense that they believed in, which as we know now was totally crazy cuckoo. As opposed to all other religions. Whoa hot tail. Whoa. Whoa. Let's just say Dan. Let's just say Dan that in the battle between all religions over which is the true one, I think it's fair to say that Egypt has stumbled and fallen in the marathon. And its bloody, chafed body has been pulled off the track. Well particularly as shown in gods and whatever. Gods of Egypt. Gods in Egypt, gods and kings is about a still very viable religion. That's still in the race.

That's Exodus gods. I'm talking about Christian Baelism. Uh. No, but it is, it is a crazy version of. What is the context of this gods? Mm-hmm. Not Egypt. The gods of Egypt is a great.

I can't remember where that book's called. It would be ridiculous. Damn. God's Egypt postulates a world where gods are just sort of taller than the rest of us. Well, they kind of, so though it takes place in this mythical Egypt where the world is flat, and Egypt is the rest of us. Well, they kind of, so it takes place in this mythical Egypt where the world is flat and Egypt is basically all of it.

And the gods, the Egyptian gods, they posit are very much like the Greek gods, which in essence are just bigger, more powerful people that are total. And golden blood. Now, the difference is that these Egyptian gods, they have the names of the famous Egyptian gods, of Cyrus and Horus and like, and Peggy.

And we were talking about that backstage. Anyway, and they also have golden blood, and they can transform into robot monsters. Yeah. But not at will, they need an- So real transformorfers. And every one of them has a magic glowing body part inside of them that when removed

Lovers their power essence and their energy level. It's a real it's a real video game of It is a there is not since Prince of Persia a game of video movie based on a video game Don't think really not since since Star Wars vehicles have I seen a movie that was so much of a side scrolling leveler It's just like now. He's got a, okay, he's going to jump through that trap, now he rests on a platform for a minute. Now he times it on the next trap. Oh, no, there's spikes. So he's got to wait.

Okay, the spikes are done. Run forward a little bit. Okay, save your game, save your game. Go to the bathroom. Now hydrate. Now, vibrate? Hydrate. Hydrate.

Hydrate. Are you can vibrate too? You're doing really great things with video game controllers now, Dan. Oh, you guys thought that was gross. So it posits a world where everyone's Egyptian, they just don't look Egyptian at all. And or sounded. And Osiris was king of creation for a thousand years, and is the son of, oh well actually there's a long bullshit opening narration. Of course there is. And it's all CGI.

It's all of our CGI symbols. Like there's no like weird old guys like gather around young ladies. Well there is in the narration it's like it's like a long, I'm the only one left from a long time ago. So maybe the story isn't as I remember. Let me dust off this scroll for me to read aloud to you. My mother always told me about it, if she wants. But there's the voiceover that explains that there's raw and there's two sons, Osiris and set. One's good, one's bad. Hey, that's how it works.

And they... Thank you. Somebody's saying it. Oh, sorry, it says King of Creation for a thousand years. Raw, as we find out later, lives in a space boat where every night, every night he shoots lasers out of his laser spear at a giant tooth smoke monster that's trying to eat all of creation. And because even though rock created it all, he's still he's not in control of all of it.

I guess it's like in the book of Job, where God talks about Bayamoth. And I think it's Bayamoth, right? And Leviathan. Are you talking about Baha'amoth, the God of good dragons, and D&D? No, not at all. You know what?

Forget I went down that road. Let's just backtrack to the crossroads, and then I'm gonna go down the path not least taken I'm gonna make all the difference. You're an Egyptologist. I've read about it. I just have written about I have not Is this giant worm a thing? That a thing. Oh, the chaos worm that you told creation. Yeah, I got a say I've never come across it But maybe it is I don't know look they took a lot of license as Then chip with the robot transforming.

And so, but Osiris is like my son, Horis, who's kind of a narrow-do-well. He's not living up to his potential, but he's got magic eyes that let him see everything and he's never taken by surprise. He's gonna be the new king. And meanwhile, there's a robber, a thief named back who we're introduced to, basically just being Aladdin in the beginning of Aladdin.

Like he might just be singing the song, gotta steal the e-cuddy to live, otherwise we'd get along. Like that's basically what he's doing. Yeah, our hero is introduced robbing a local small business owner. Yeah, and what looks- Yeah, anger you as a small business owner. He has to do us.

And now imagine he has none of the charisma of DJ's boyfriend from Full House. Just like they cartoon Aladdin was gifted with. And imagine that almost everything you've seen in the entire movie of CGI to the point that it is almost like- Yeah, and it looks like Dex Dog Tective. It like- And there are so many scenes where even scenes where someone's writing a chariot, it's like the worst digital rear projection you've ever seen.

And all the dialogue is mixed at the same low level and delivered as if they're just sitting on a couch. So even when they're like running from big snakes or the pyramids collapsing around them and they're making quips each other, the quips are like, you got to run faster, you try to run faster. Like it's, everyone is too, the visuals are so a lot of fake. Next time you drive the cheerio.

And the performances are so calm. Like they just, everyone in Egypt, like the Nile has just been like dope with pharmaceuticals. From the factory that's up at the headwaters, which ironically are in the South, even though when you look at a map, you think it's gonna flow up northward. It goes to shown up and down the constructs of our minds.

Anyway, it's like Buckminster Fuller said, it should be in and out, not up and down. Anyway, I digress. We're about three minutes into the film. So, Beck is married to a woman named Zay. Who is? Ozzayaaya? Oh, Zaya? Yeah Okay, I'll I'll remind you I saw this movie hours ago Is married married to Zaya a permanent character trait is that she is a plunging neckline. Yes It's a very cleavie movie. They should have called it God's a cleavage There's still time

You don't call it God's a cleavage. You're still time. Yeah. Say what? Stop the process. Go to a close blockbuster video. Slap a sticker over the thing. Yeah, somebody go do that. Send us a picture. We're not going to give you anything for it, but... A bug literally just fell in my hair.

Was it a scarab? But a bug literally just fell in my hair. Was it a scarab? It's a genuine question. I'm so, oh, it's okay. Long story short, Osiris is handing a throne over to Horus. Horus doesn't deserve it. He's in love with the God of Love. They have sex in a little pool surrounded by his handmaidens, where regular people say, look, tiny next to him.

All the gods are about 18 feet tall, 15 feet tall. And so, anyone, so the handmaidens, I kept thinking, were the little girls from Mothra who are tiny. And I was singing the mother's song through much of those early scenes. Yeah. It was a beautiful song. Yeah. But right in the middle of the coronation, uh-oh, uh, set comes along played by

Draud Butler, who decided I'm playing an Egyptian god of evil. I'm not even going to mask my Scottish accent. And he comes in and he goes, I got this magic horn for you as a gift. Blow it for him. And Horus, like, does a little jazz trail on it? Yeah. He blows it as if he's Clarence Clevver. And he's got a little pose.

He's like, woo! Yeah. It's like, take my picture, album cover. That's the signal for set soldiers to come in and take over. Set kills a Cyrus, and he beats the daylight set of Horus and pulls his eyeballs out. It's okay, his eyeballs are a little glowing marbles. Which was a bummer when set Kills Osiris,

because Osiris here was played by Brian Brown, the star of FX, the deadly, our little Luzio. Okay, yeah, which was clearly a nod to all the FX. I did not realize that. He was disguised because he had that little soul patch. Yeah, little goatee. Oh Clearly a nod to all the He was disguised because he had that little soul I should have known this was an Australian film so You see a lot of Aussie actors in there. You see a lot of people who are in Mad Max They're a couple of the women in it were brides

According to the IMBB trivia section, because I did my research, guys. That's what I'm known for, that's my brand. But like, about- Stuart the library in Wellington. About like 200 personnel in total, like visual effects people were all from Mad Max Fury Road, which was just about as good as this, right? Yeah, it really shows you some say

that the director is not the guiding force of a film and that it's in the end, holy collaborative. I would say these two movies put up against each other would prove that very wrong. That there is a handful of creatives at the top of the pyramid on who really set the tone. That's not a pun. That just me finishing a sentence. I also like that I basically said George Miller's a better filmmaker than

Alex Proyol. Everyone's like boo boo boo. Dark City's underrated. No he's terrible. There's a lot of knowing fans at the audience tonight. So a dark city is a fine movie that doesn't age that great, you know, that's okay. So, it's a great B-plus film. Well, yeah, Keeper Sutherland as the weird perverted scientist is amazing in it. That's... But anyway, I'll also appear in Rupa's School in this film. As...

What's his name? Who has Ershar, I think? He's the best builder. Because set has now enslaved all the Egyptians either worship him or you're made a slave but even the ones who worship him kind of becomes slaves and they're building this huge uh... black obelisk that's two thousand feet tall as a monument to raw that said can finally get over his daddy issues

with his ball dead uh... jeffrey rush in the sky uh... although jeff Rush, you think he's bald from most of the movie, and then it's revealed about two-thirds of the way through that he has a long white ponytail on his bald head. And it is an instead of like hair stubble, his head has little gold flakes. Yeah. Well, that's like God-Dandruff, yeah. And our hero, Beck, is very unhappy about this turn of events,

especially when he's separated from his wife who is now working as the personal secretary slash assistant to the head architect who is a criminal. Her job is making sure that his scrolls don't go flying off his desk. Which she fails at consistently. Long story short, he convinces her, I'm going to go to the place where horse's eye is kept. Get me the scroll that has the design, so I know where the traps are.

I'm gonna get his eye, I'm gonna give it to Horace, and then Horace is gonna like, I don't like just save the day, or give him something, I'm not sure what, because his wife still believes in Horace, still worships him. Even though Horace has become a real baby and just sits blind in his own house, which is basically a tomb just being sad all the time. Wow. Wow.

The first critique for man with people. I'm just saying many blind people have accomplished a lot. Horus decides to accomplish nothing. And he's a god. Imagine if the last thing you saw was Gerard Butler plucking your eyes from your head. I would be traumatized. But you'd get over it, I guess. Eventually, yeah.

We become butts. I'd forgive him. Play soccer together. I mean, yeah, to be like. If he shows up. Yeah, exactly. He goes and he says to Horace, I'm gonna get,

oh no, he gets one of the eyes back already. He goes through a video game level and gets the eye back. A lot of spikes. A lot of CGI spikes and and CGI statues, so we're all watching him. And scorpions, everything's CGI. Stuart, what was the comparison, CGI scorpion comparison? What is that of like 5 million miles of Graceland

that opens with two scorpions, but 5 million miles. I don't remember the name of that movie. The Ray Harryhausen Kurt Russell film, 5 million miles to Grace Land. She was a basic lack of geography knowledge. I'm pretty serious. I know this was a geography podcast, guys. I would be elsuited for him.

Beck goes back to his wife, but he's captured because they replaced the scroll he stole with just a blank scroll, and the master architect of Egypt somehow could tell the difference between a blank scroll And then when were he put all his trap secrets? So they're escaping in a chariot and the master architect shoots an arrow at his wife and it hits her and she dies. Oh no He should be the master archer. That was an amazing shot. Well, they're all they're like most of the same letters in the beginning of the two words Yeah, and but I mean they weren't running that fast.

Like it is one of those like super slow running through a not that large set because there's it's like a green room. It's a green, yeah, it's like they're in Robert Rodriguez's basement. It's not a lot of play-sale. And so he goes to Horace and he says, I got your eye. I'm going to make you a deal. If you can bring my wife back, I'll give you your eye back and then we'll do whatever, we'll save the day. And Horace is like, hmm, he can't really bring me away from the dead, but I'm going to lie to you and say that I can. So already the rogue and

the God are keeping secrets from each other. Horace's secret is he can't fulfill his end of the bargain. And Beck's secret is that, I don't know, he's like, that he lost the role of Van Wilder when he auditioned for it. Because it's like they were like, let's get a guy who's like Ryan Reynolds, but when he smiles, it just seems like someone taught him how to smile. That's really me, and I shouldn't have said that. He might listen to this. Ryan Reynolds is a big fan. No, no, I didn't, I didn't, so Ryan Reynolds, I didn't tell the guy in the movie. All right.

Yeah. Ryan Reynolds is America's sweetheart. He's the, he's the Merge of the World. He's never made a bad movie. He's never made a bad movie. He's proven. It's proven. Okay, they go on a, they go on a magic quest.

They stick his dead wife in a drawer. They stick her in a drawer so that she'll keep. They put her in a drawer, so that she'll keep. They put her in horse's crisper to keep her fresh. And she's got to walk the afterlife because, and this is, I thought this was a perversion of Egyptian mythology, but it turns out they're just setting up a change later on. She's going to be in the afterlife where a new bus

is keeping a close eye on her. A new bus, as you mentioned, looks like Dex's dog detective. And in this version of Egypt, if you don't have gold to give to the afterlife judges, then you disappear. But if you give them gold, you dissolve in a better way. It's like when you see it happen, both the poor man and the rich man dissolve. And it's like, I'm so rich guys like,

I'm gonna live forever, and then he disappears. And then the poor woman just screams and then disappears. Yeah, but they weigh it against a feather. And if you don't, if it's lighter than a feather, then you don't get in. Anyway, that's not how Egyptian mythology works. It made me mad. But at the end of the movie, they kind of explain it.

So it's OK. I'll get there. They go on a series of quest adventures of which I don't remember the order. So let's just tell you some of them. One of the, they fight a bunch of bull men who work for Seth on a waterfall, all CGI. The water looks like some kind of viscous glue. Well, the only real thing in the scene is Nikolai Koster. How do you say his name?

I don't know. Call him. The guy from Jamie Lannister, which is mainly him just like spinning around and like the camera's spinning around constantly. I forgot that was him. They probably just put him on a wire and had him like spinning around. I mean, spinning was involved. Yeah, I put him on a fake lazy Susan. Mm-hmm.

I'm not a movie maker, but that sounds like it works. At one point, these two kind of like wor like warrior-esque concubines of sets, right, two giant snakes, like kind of sandworm types at them. And by working together, they're able to defeat them and then also the God of Love shows up and helps them. And you never remember any of the other quests, they have to go to the pyramid to get through this thing.

Well, they go into outer space. They go to outer space to go to raw so that he can get, oh, they have to go to the- And they talk to Jeffrey Rush, who slaps his chest a couple times each time growing slightly bigger. And they're catching my fire. Yeah, the other one, that's right. First, they go to a mountain where he prays to raw

to get the strength that turned back into a metal griffin man again. This is Horace, not back. Come on, back some mortal. And so he just gets carried there like, well, he'll be the same. There it is, there the... I realize how much difference it sounds like gibberish, as we say. Here's the thing, the first exposure to this film was the subway posters, which was some kind of cyborg metal jack-o-man,

fighting some kind of cyborg metal griffin' man. With gold splatters, all over the place. With gold splatters all over, and I was like, this is gonna be the best or worst movie I've ever seen. And what we got was not the best. It was like someone, every scene in this movie, I was like, this could be a really fun, good movie,

but they're not doing it right. Gremlin Butler just hands it up as a bad guy. Gremlin, he's not one of the worst parts. Like he does fine in it. Especially when he raises his voice, he's not one of the worst parts. Like, he does fine in it. Especially when he's just like, when he's trying to emote everyone else. What is just modulating? What is like a computer-generated armor guy

with just his head on top of it? That's hilarious. What it felt like at times was like, if someone read Jack Kirby's Fourth World New Gods books, which are great, and they're amazing, and said like, I want to make a movie like that, but I'm not going to put any of my soul into it. And I'm going to have a pretty boilerplate dialogue

and also the effects are not going to look that great. We're going to use a lot of them, but they're not going to look that great. But there's more adventures to be had, because they also go if they walk through a swamp to find the hiding place of the God of Wisdom. My favorite character in the movie, because he's super sassy. And they take him to go and to the riddle of the sphinx so that they can get to the heart of the desert.

Well, where are you looking at me? He's played by What's His Face. And you know what? The game played by me. You know the face who I'm What's His Face. Chadwick Boseman, thank you. Chadwick Boseman, thank you. Chadwick Boseman.

He is the best character. Why show pays off? Finally. The, here's the thing they want to do. Apparently, Seth's power comes from the desert because much like Willie Lomon's brother who went into the jungle at 21 and came out a rich, wealthy man, Seth having forbidden,

been forbidden by Rod to marry and have a child wandered into the desert and came back with the power of the desert. And also, I assume it haunts the Osiris dreams and so Osiris is a failed salesman. But, and he came out with an army and big scare beetles that pull his chariot and stuff. And so, if we can go to the source of the Nile apparently source of the desert or the Nile

I don't remember which is something called the desert fire or some nonsense and drop this mystic water that we took from Ross Sail barge and drop it and it'll Destroy the desert it'll quench the thirst of the desert and that will kill sets power and so they have to get through the Sphinx to do that and what I didn't realize is the Sphinx gives you as many tries as you need. As long as like... Keep trying to crush them and Horus is fighting and while God of Wisdom is just guessing stuff. And then Beck figures it out. Because Beck is pretty clever for a mortal.

Yeah, he's a sassy little mortal guy. And then the Sphinx goes thing goes oh bother and dissolves. But no he literally goes oh bother and dissolves. That's actually what happens. Because everyone in Egypt is English except for the ones that are Scottish or American. All right this is what he's apparently winning the poo. American. All right, he's apparently Winnie the Pooh. Oh, wait. Is Wei-Sui-ya, Winnie the Sphinx or Sphinxie the Pooh? Yeah.

I got my head caught in the biggest honey pot, Nejit. Oh, no. There's a rumbling in my tumbling. Riddle me this. He's also the ridler. I like it. He's the original ridler. I want to see like a Sphinxiee or an out-of-two thing.

Oh, no one's come by to knock down my pyramid. Wow, you're really good at that, Dan. Yeah. How'd you tap into eaors' soul like that? Hollywood, yes. And I got the right voice actor for eaors' spin-off you've been looking for. Hey, is your nephew your reboot. It's your nephew Gary Milne. I got I got that character you've been looking for Well listen to this listen this say it again Dan say it again. I'm gonna mind me a phone

I'm doing it poorly. Any improv person would tell me this is a bad phone because I'm sticking my pink in my mouth. I love the idea that, like, say it again, like in a movie, you stop playing the song. It's like, was she or just a second ago? Can you play that same song you were just playing? No, we just did it. It was a sliver, she said.

So they, they're about to dump that magic water in that fire and then boom spike trap, of course. The gods are caught. Bex the only one around. He has a good couple of minutes while Gerard Butler appears and taunts our other heroes. That's after he rips out Chadwick Boseman's brain. Yeah, he rips out Chadwick Boseman's brain because that's the God of Wisdom special part. And it's of course a glowing brain made out of glass that in a later

scene, well, I'll get to that. And I was saying, like, oh, he's going to eat it to get his powers and it's basically that. Well, he gets into his magic dragon form and they use, like literally blow torches and stuff to pound the parts of the other gods that he stole from. He's been waging a war on the gods and stealing their special parts. Yeah, he's not going to say anything. Oh, what's the great, what's the best body part of all these people snatch you wink now put it in me. Yeah, but it's a me.

So, a pen tour basically. Yeah, it kind of is serpent or yeah, except there wasn't so much like hammering stuff into them with sledge hammers with serpent. No, did we like cook him in a way? Yeah, we used the parts of all of history's worst people. Uh, but also and they never got sergeant slaughter's courage that's who yeah that's why he's kind of a wimp and he always runs away so they back has a lot of time to pour this magic water in but he's so busy captivated by the drama of set and his nephew Horace arguing with each other that set man just a walk over and just for the water out on the ground.

Uh oh, it's no good. And things go from bad to worse because the pyramids falling down all around them. They're going to happen because. Why did it, but did, did set make his own. It's like a dance as dancer we're watching it. Yeah, I was like, there's two minutes where no one was running and jumping from something. There was, you know, nothing's falling nothing's falling now, not anyone's head. Set goes up to Raw, and he's like, how you like me now, Dad?

How do you like me now? Huh? Does this, you know, like, you never let me have a kid, and we never played catch like now, and Raw's like, hmm, I still don't like you that much. No, but it's kind of, one of the things that you would come in on earlier was that at least Ra was not like. Well, then they sell that out though.

But when they first talk to Ra about it, he goes, they're like, he killed your son and Ra goes, set is also my son, as is all of this creation. It's all my creation. And it was one of those things where it's like, that was a believable moment for me of Ra as a God who is like, I made all of this. If something bad happens, I made that too. So don't come up and tell me that the wrong thing is like, I made all of this. If something bad happens, I made that too.

So don't come up and tell me that the wrong thing is happening, because I made all of it happen. Then he's like, excuse me, why should laser blast of this giant space world? Excuse me, while I use my laser spear to stop this mouth monster from eating the whole creation. Because that's, it's like, it wants to do, I've come, like I compared it to Jack Kirby stuff for.

Jack Kirby basically would take sci-fi superheroes and he'd like craft a thing about Like the journey that a soul takes through challenges and obstructions to stay true to itself This was kind of like that without that so it was just that it was just like what if the Egyptian gods were all kind of superheroes And they all had like laser weapons and superpowers and they turn into robots So at this point set kills his dad set kills his dad and takes his power which is his Spies him into the space ocean except he's not really dead He just needs a spear back and turns out. Yeah, but Horace and back they're like that's it. It's over da da da da da

The goddess of love has given up her magic 42 diamond demon keeping way bracelets so that Beck can go see his life in the afterlife again. This is a sub-plot I'm not even going to get into very much. Well, no, no, no, it's important Beck wants to go to the afterlife. It's his wife. Yeah, to try and like, just to let her... She's about to be judged and she has nothing to put on the scales. Yeah, so Beck's like, I'm gonna lose your baby, so why don't you kill me?

Boom. I'm gonna go down. like, I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me? Boom. You have to go down. Boom. Finally. Boom. Nice work. I'll bring my wife these two turntables in this microphone. Yeah.

That must weigh more than a feather. But yeah, we're into big apocalypse now. Yeah, but not apocalypse now. The worm is going to hurt. The worm has turned into starting to eat the world. Yeah, and so, well, she's about to be judged. This chaos worm starts eating all of the afterlife and a new business like, I gotta fight him,

but I can't do it. Beck, go back to Horace and tell him he's gotta stop this, shit. So Horace, Beck goes back, he and Horace go and they challenge set, they manage to convince the master architect to take them through the black needle pyramid to get to the top where Here's there's so set is kind of using Ross spear to guide the the chaos worm and tell straw because then Ross like

Set I don't know is using Ross spear to guide the chaos worm That should sound normally that makes perfect It's like weird Egyptian fridge poetry It's like weird Egyptian fridge poetry. I... You mean hieroglyphics? Oh, okay. You take that ancient language. There's a bunch of freaking pictures.

So... Yeah, fuck you, eyeball bird. Eyeball bird. Me? No, no, no, no, no. Eyeball bird burned you. Anonymous scribes. Hey, let me tell you something.

Headset shut. I don't know, that's a real name. Let me tell you something. Act notten. Okay, that's a good one. So take your copash and go somewhere else. Listen, Cishoz Friss, they have hilarious names. But anyway, long story short, there's another big battle.

Beck falls off a building during it. And... Horace is like, I'm gonna save Beck rather than save my eye. What? Because his eye... You can't morph into a robot if he doesn't own those eyes. No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. In this case, different things. Like that seems where Dumbo turns into a rope plot.

Graham. Hey, he flies. He turns into a robot that's like one of those like fucking like we're gonna. Uh, where you going with this? Yeah. One of those videos. I'm gonna like, uh, let's show what, uh, high definition television can do. You know what I'm talking about?

Like magic. Sure. Oh, like the, wait, I don't, it's magic eyes. Magic eyes, like the, like the mind's eye, like CGI stuff. I mean, that's free, high depth. All right. Just showing what computer graphics are capable of. Let's all realize that this was a resolution. I'm gone down.

No, and let's keep going down. You know what, there's, this is the road to, shouldn't have gone down. No, and let's keep going down. You know what, this is the road to nothing but trouble, Slovenia, and we're just going to keep going. We're going to ignore all the signs, just keep heading until Dan and Roy throws us through Mr. Bones. It was called Falconvania. Falconvania, that's right. Look, I have so much of my brain right now

but you used to remember God's V-Gym. I can't remember nothing but trouble. It turns out they win the day in the end. What? Yeah. Get out of here. The Chaos Whorm doesn't devour the source of life. The Nile.

No, set gets killed. Horace gives the staff back to Ra, which wakes Ra up from his death sleep because dead Ra at his house floating in space. That makes sense to me. Dead dreaming, whatever it is. And he shoots his, he goes, you will not eat the world or something.

And I like the most fun part of this. The world is not enough. Yeah. The most fun, there's two fun things this movie. One is there's one scene where Gerard Butler puts on a scarab shaped helmet and just imagining him showing up at the set and then being this what you're wearing in the scene.

And Gerard Butler being like, I'm not wearing this fucking shot, you know? But then he had to do it. And the other is imagining Jeffrey Rush in front of a green screen wearing what's essentially a bathroom and a ponytail. Just going like, you shall not devour creation. Poo, poo, poo, poo.

And I got into the shot at all like a spa. There's Jeffrey Rush was at. They just knew that the green screen had. Well, I'm gonna be at Canyon like a spa. There's Jeffrey Mucher's at. They just do a great screen. Well, I'm going to be at Canyon Ranch these days. So come on by. You'll add like fire and lasers and stuff. So it looks like I'm doing something, right? I don't care.

I'm Jeffrey Wright. There is a great scene near the end when Rufusoul, who was playing a bad guy big surprise. Of course. Is fighting our brother? Not even going to tell the story about when I saw him in a play playing good guy. He was great.

Anyway, goodbye. Tom Stopper is rockin' roll. Hey, I saw him in a play for once too. I saw him in the ratio of the third and London He was terrible. Really? He was really good in rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' rockin' after I'll often he's covered in a head to toe like gold toga or something and he's like, oh, I got my afterlife paid for. And then he's just about to get killed when Bex, like, oh, the cast worm's going to eat creation. So you're not going to the afterlife. You're not going to the afterlife. And he literally ate moments.

And so literally looks at the camera and is like, whoa. He goes, he goes, oh, like, like And that's, and false to his death. Everyone falls off of buildings in this movie, eventually. And don't we all, Elliot? That is the biggest of them. That is the biggest of them. And Horace takes him to his Chris Bertolay, and next to his wife, Ra shows up and he goes, I've never been in debt to anybody,

but I'm in debt to you. What would you like? And he goes, and, uh, Horace says, the one thing I can never provide in Rob to anybody, but I'm in debt to you. What would you like?" And he goes, and of course, is the one thing I can never provide in Rob Brings back, back, Brings, Ziya back. They're alive. Hey. And now Morris takes his rightful places, King, because he's the son of the other King.

Why wouldn't he rule everybody? Surely what they didn't learn from this is that monarchy is a joke, and that he, the Egyptian dynasty, as even for the thousands of years at Rand, is built on the false idea that a mortal man is a joke, and that the Egyptian dynasty, as even for the thousands of years it ran, is built on the false idea that a mortal man is a god. It makes me really mad when I think about how long they managed to pull that scam off. Like, sure.

You guys don't need to have a say in your lives. I'm totally a god. Anyway, I married my sister. I'm a god now. What ifs? Anyway, so. I feel like you're just jealous. I am not one the word to be envious.

They're not stealing something from me. And two, I'm not. Wow. That is a distinction that has not been made. God knows how long. Dance, do we, with me? I was just going to say, but Horus is for the ending, though. Horus and his first act as king

makes a pretty big change to the way things work. He says, well, it's so, he's like, hey, I'm gonna be about helping people. So, off from now on, the afterlife's not based on bringing treasure. It's based on the good deeds you do because the important thing is to be compassionate to each other.

And it's like. Which is bullshit, dude. What about all the gold, I say? What am I gonna do with all those damn gold? There's all these rich people you imagine. Oh, ho, ho, ho. I was all the gold, I say? What am I going to do with all those damn gold? There's all these rich people you imagine. Oh, ho, ho, ho. I was really hoping they were going to cut to Rufusil, like, right in line for the scale. But he's like, what am I going to do?

Sorry, rules changed. And that's when maybe the home movie I'm like, that's not how it works. You weigh your heart against a feather. And if it's heavy with sin and weighs more than the feather, then you disappear. But they fixed it at the end. That's to show he's a good king and Like Horus is like I'm gonna go off on some kind of quest or some nonsense So back I'm gonna leave you in charge or something. He's like he's the Terrient is the nearest You know and then they like just hanging out knee-jipped you pronounce those names weird. I don't know

Whatever how it says are pronounced. Terrient and. Whatever. How its has a pronounced? Uh, Tyrion and Da Nieris. It's totally the same. Exactly what he said. He said a weirder though. I cannot hear the difference. I'm standing right between the two of you. It's like a stereo in my- Yeah, our voices are identical. No, uh, you know, that's it that's the that's the any end is there no then to end uh... horses like i got to credits nothing but bloops i got a quick i got a question to do is off

he does his spider-man swinging around at the end of the top of the glider spider-man's and flies around the cgi egypt and we're done i'm cute the bloops i like the idea that they're like really like like one of the bloops was oh like instead of turning into like a Perkman I turned to do a bear Oh, no, how did this happen? Guys, I thought what animal I was supposed to turn into line

Eagleman all right of course So it's a movie that it had it was packed full of stuff like it was packed full of crazy stuff and Probably 87% of what was on screen never existed. It was all computer animated things That's probably right and so looking at let's do what we always do every episode and come up with one thing We liked about the movie Every episode never been a thing and I'm gonna say I Really occurring bit I really liked Black Panther's performance as the God of Wisdom. Yeah, yeah.

He brings like an arch almost like Wentworth Miller for the performance to it. Yeah, as long as we're doing performances, I really like Rufus Sule's performance. He was kind of camp in it. Yeah, he's very camp. Yeah. And I like it when they morphed into robots and fought each other.

Every time they showed these human giants morph into robot flying guys, they almost expect the audience to be like, whoa! Which like, after you've seen that a million times and the rest of the movie is all fake, nothing is going to make you say whoa anymore. No. And I will admit, I like to some parts of the scene

where they're being chased by the giant snake worms. Yeah, I mean, that was OK. I like giant snake worms. Sure. Who doesn't? Dan, did you like the giant snake worms? Sure. But aside from those things.

You know me. I got those posters of giant snake worms on my bedroom wall. Stair up them every night. You're a weird kid. It's creepy. It's creepy. It's creepy. We should.

Especially that one poster where the snakeworm has noticeable nipples like this. Yeah. How is she going to feed her battery? Better real blowout. We should. Too much audience support for the idea of that poster. We should move on to the next segment.

We should do final judgments. We should do on to the next segment. We should uh... We should do final judgments. We should do final judgments. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did.

The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did.

The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. The thing we really did. So, stitos for everybody. Hey, look. Slice alone is pretty nervous. I don't know if he's going to be around all these people. He's not fine. I don't know what to tell you.

So, Dan, what's your... He was this a bad, huge movie? Was it a good, more movie? Or was it a... Was it a sleepy sensation? I did not fall asleep during this movie, which puts it up to movies that we watched. We also watched it at 1pm as opposed to 8pm.

I get it from sleep would have been a real, I would have worried about you physically. We're about half an hour, I was like this is a good bad movie, but it's a bad, bad movie. It bored me, I'm sorry. I apologize to Alex Proyus. He's your art butler. I mean, I don't think so. I apologize to Alex Proyis. Did you hear our Butler? I mean, I don't think you're... I think Gerard Butler's still gonna punch if he sees us.

Nikolai, Coster, Wal-Jew. I'm gonna disagree with you. It was too long, but I'm gonna say there's a good bad movie. Because, despite being too long, and by the end of it, I was tired of it. One of it's a good man movie just turn it off when you're done watching it. You don't need to watch the whole thing. And two, every couple of minutes there was some kind of crazy CGI monster throwing a building at somebody or getting their leg cut off and gold blood spewing everywhere.

I'm gonna back up Elliot on this one. Ooh. You know what I mean? So that's where the shots of people riding in chariots with the super fakey background. Those were like any scene where it's a close up of somebody and a background flying past them really fast is hilarious. Like it's the effects are funny. It looked like a scene in a Quentin Tarantino movie where he's doing that deliberately.

It's a thing to like make you laugh. Not since Pompeii, have I seen effects so goofy hilarious? All right, so you have a different stuff done around here. But the people have spoken, because we live in a democracy, not a bullshit monarchy like Ancient Egypt. Right. Ah. Hey, it's Dan breaking in here with a little flop house housework.

Please don't hit that skip button because we've got some exciting news. We are going on our first tour. Well, let's not call it tour because it's just one place, but our first live show outside of the New York City area, we will be in Washington, D.C. on August the 5th that's a Friday doing a show at Black Cat. The show is at 9 p.m. tickets are $20. A little more expensive than when we do shows in New York, but we got to cover our travel expenses. And we hope to see you all there. If you live in the DC metro area, please come by and see us. And if you can get there, come by and see us. This is sort of a proof

of concept for doing more touring. So we have to try and bump up the crowds as much as we possibly can to prove that we are a draw. and then maybe we'll go other places like the West Coast, perhaps, perhaps even Canada. Who knows. We're looking into a lot of options right now. So please, tickets are available at a link that I'll put up on the website for this show. If I forget to put it up for this show, it's still there on the website. If you click on the blog area, there's an announcement for the show, or if you go to maximumfund.org,

it is listed among the live shows. So we hope to see you again on August 5th at 9 p.m. at Black Cat in Washington, DC. But we also have a message up on the John Botron this week. It's to Peter from Surge who says, Hello, Peaches. I've grown old and have not done enough good in my life. My one surely good act was to introduce my son Peter, graduating from the University of Vermont this week to the flop house.

He has since listened to every episode and participates actively on the flop house Facebook page. Is this enough, surge? I would say that that plenty surge. There is no greater gift, a man could give to his child in the gift of the flop house. Thank you for writing in for your son, Peter, and in support of the flop house. Lastly, this week the flop house is spent sponsored by Mac Weldon.

Mac Weldon believes in smart design, premium fabrics, and simple shopping. Their clothes are designed to be the most comfortable you will ever wear, underwear, socks, shirts, undershirts, hoodies, and sweatpants. All their products are naturally anti-microbial, which means that they eliminate odor. And they would like you to be comfortable. So if you don't like your first pair, you can keep that pair,

and they will still refund you no questions asked. So if you want to try out Mac Weldon's underwear and more, you can go to macwelldon.com and get 20% off using the promo code flop. I am literally wearing some right now, and they are delightful. So now we take you back to the cake shop in New York City. Thanks again to the podcast for having us,

and I hope you enjoy the rest of the show. So normally now is when we would do letters, but as is our tradition when we have a live show, we're going to take questions from the audience. So we have this microphone set up over here. It's currently pointing away from the audience, which is kind of weird, but so you'll have to walk around. Hey guys, I know you might be scared to get up and talk to ask us a question.

Don't be scared because we won't bite tonight. Is the night we won't bite? If you ask us a question normally we would tear out a chunk of flesh with our teeth. If you bothered with our team. If you bothered, if you had the temerity to ask us a question, we are your gods, like the gods of Egypt, fighting each other, sister and brother, fighting each other for the crown of Egypt. But tonight, we won't't we just don't Tonight tonight Stewart did you have a verse in you tonight That's it okay. That was just giving me some letters. That was the briefest smashing pumpkins cover. I've ever heard

So okay, let's do some verbal, some vocal letters. We call them questions. Dan, is there any sort of protocol for this? Oh, yeah. So, we all have been at Q&A's where you're like, what the fuck was that? Why did that person ask that question? Or sometimes it's like, not a question. Someone's like, I have a question, What the fuck was that? Why did that person ask that question? Or sometimes it's like not a quest.

Someone's like, I have a question, and then it's just a story about something. Yeah. So the protocol is, if you would be in your seat saying, like, why the fuck is that guy doing that? That is a terrible question. Maybe you don't ask it. If somebody else was asking the thing you were asking,

and you would find it boring, then don't ask that question. Also, a lot of times people wanna come up with these things until the speakers so much they like them, don't worry about it, we know you like us, you're here. That's really nice. They appreciate it.

That's really nice. That's a lot of pressure. And they do the introduction with the first name and the last name with Hald, right? That's right. Yeah. Yeah, no. Here, speak closer to the microphone. Get up in there. Yeah. Put it up in your grill. But

no, I'm not a full except that word. That's not a bad word around here. What I am most interested in what was the scariest scene you three have seen today? In the movies we watched for this podcast or just in general. In general. Oh, okay. What is the scariest thing that you have seen? In a movie. Dan, you killed it.

Podcasted it. All right. Thank you. He lost faith in his question after through. Uh, but... Scariest scene we've ever seen in anything. Uh, I don't know whether this is actually the scariest scene, but it's the first thing that came to my mind.

It's the book of a movie called The Parent Draft. No. There's like, what if someone cuts the back of my dress away? They're trying to get those two parents back together. They're just gonna go apart again. You know they're gonna be disappointed. So the thing, the remake of the thing. At least I had the thing for a minute.

The thing? You know, that thing. Like a sexy, sassy version of the thing. That thing, yeah, yeah. No, the thing. Someone correctly in the audience correctly identified the reference. As Lauren Hill. You were in the no prize.

So the whole year is there a specific scene in the thing. We've done it in the Carpenter version. The blood testers. It's not the blood testers. It's the scene where they're gonna put the the fibulator on the and the chest opens up and chops down with big chest teeth. And you're like, chest don't normally do that.

Yeah. 90% of the time I've never seen chest teeth. I'm gonna say for me growing up, the scariest thing was still the twin girls in the shining. Super scary. Yeah. Won't ride my big wheel around there. I mean, no certain wanting to, but you won't.

No thank you. Mom, dad, I got one hotel we shouldn't stay at. I think as a kid, it was probably large margin. And he was big adventure. Or there's one ghost in Ghostbusters who's driving a taxi cab at the end. And that ghost is too scary. And he's like, now I look at him,

and he's like the cribkeeper, which is, means he's adorable. But at the time, at the end. And that ghost is too scary. And he's like, now I look at him, and he's like the cribkeeper, which is, means he's adorable. But at the time, at the time I was scared by the cribkeeper, so. Yeah, now every time you get in a cab, you're like, please be the ghost from Ghost Vessers. That would be amazing.

But I don't know, it's a good, as an adult, I don't know. I think as an adult, it would be difficult because now is a dead. Anytime a kid is in peril, it's scary to me, but in a way that is not like fun. There's a scene in under the skin where a child is left on a beach and you know no one's coming for it. It's a small kid. And you also know that they needed this kid to cry for the movie.

And it's just like, it's a good movie, but it's like, that seems a little too much for me. It's going to become a mogulier, so it's an alley. Yeah, yeah, sure. Oh good, I, yeah, an octopus is gonna take him underwater and teach him how to breathe underwater. And then it happens. Someday you'll have to go to the land fish again.

The man for the skin. Let's see if he can see. That's great. It's called Jungle Book To The Ocean Book. But I don't know. Maybe nothing has ever been as scary to me, I think, as when I was a kid seeing a cardboard cut out in the video store of Chuckie,

and being like, what is that? I don't like it. And of course now, Chuckie is adorable. That's okay. So that's the answer's that one, yeah. Yeah, next question. Next So that's Andrews that one. Yeah. Okay, next question. Next question. Let's keep him moving. Hey. Hi, I'm Karin, last name withheld.

Hi Karin. Hi. Hi guys. Let's hear it for Karin. Buh-buh-buh-buh. Thanks for your question. Talk to you later. My question is, so you guys have announced your first red show. I assume this means you're going to get a sweet airbrushed

fan. What's going to be airbrushed on the side? I think Stuart tweeted a picture at us. The Toman from Phantasm. There was a phantasm. But instead of flying balls, it's our head. Yeah. And we're smiling because it's a really enjoyable thing.

Or maybe it's like the Star Wars, the like, Boris Vallejo type Star Wars poster and Stuart is Luke and Dan is Leia. And I'm like, I don't know what an X-Wing or something. So I don't know, yeah, that was good enough. Anyway, keep going. Let's get another cue up here so we can A a it. I love this guy's a dollar sign. Oh, yeah, they Increased hype. That was yeah, that was given out earlier Walk here from the subway

Although he will walk back to the subway with it. Yeah I will take you back. Although he will walk back to the subway with it. Yeah. Hi, I'm Matt, last name with health. I'm Matt. I share a lot in common with each of you, and I love musicals. I love actually good movies.

I love D&D modules. Yay. So I wanted to ask of all the movies you've covered during your time in the flop house, what would you like to turn into a musical? What do you think is a salvageable, actually good movie? And what would you like to rewrite as a Dungeons & Dragons module? Oh, that's a good question. That's a good question. Solid question. Good question. Good question. Good question. Good question. I think, so I got two choices.

One, strangely enough, is God's of Egypt, because that would make a bonkers musical. Julie Tamor up that stuff. But the other would be, and this might, don't just take it as the fact that these are the most recent ones we've seen, and maybe I don't remember the others, that we are your friends could make a real rent style music hall, which I wouldn't like, but a lot of teen girls would buy that soundtrack,

and I'd make a lot of money. So, and then in 20 years, they'd all be like, I'm embarrassed, I liked that so much. And I would have been right all along, so you guys. Jesus, this question presupposes that we don't forget every movie that we watched nearly immediately. I mean, I think it's pretty clear trying to talk about God's Veejip that between one and 11 tonight, half of it at least went out of our brain. Yeah. But, I mean, you took a huge nap, dude. That's like your body just getting rid of the day's garbage. And what else would you call God's a Veejip than that?

So I'm just going to go with the movie recently that I kind of liked. If Burnt didn't make the main character such an asshole, and it had him actually encounter a few real obstacles on his way. His head almost gets sous-vide, sous-videed. Yeah, sous-videed. I was corrected by a friend of mine in the pronunciation of that, and I don't remember with the real pronunciation. That's not sous-vide. It sounds like a culinary superhero, sous-vide.

I like it. And since that's the closest thing to a joke, I'm gonna find here. I'm just gonna move along. Okay, for a D&D module, I would say my best bet is with Ugi loves in the Big Bull and adventure! Ba-ba-ba-ba! I cannot, like, what spells would you have to cast on that big floating some railroad to get it to move?

I wanted to see R on that thing would be so high. I don't know how you can defeat it. So what sort of character classes would be, like, two-feet B versus? Two-feet's got to be a rogue, right? I don't remember what they did. Two-feet's the one who's pants fall down all the time. Then there's science boy, and then there's the girl.

Okay. And there's a Bobby Wobbly. He's got some kind of a terror attack. He's like, wait, Bobby Wobbly, like chaotic evil, right? Yeah, certainly. Bobby Wobbly is the monster you throw in just to be a dick to your friends, because there's no way they can beat it. That's the one where I'm like, I can't wait to read the description

in the book about how scary he is. Okay, turn the lights down and then put on, I don't know, this filter album, because it's really scary and badass. I think that answers the question, I guess. Laura, good question, good question. A lot of pressure. Hi, it's Liz, Etsy store with Helds because I've been on the podcast a couple of times.

My list. Hi Stu. Hi Liz. Hello everybody. So my question is, what is your favorite stupid monster from anything, basically, not two examples? All right. One being the compact discs and a bite from Hellers 3. Took my answer, and I have to have a little bit more. All right. One being the compact discs and a bite from Hell or is it three?

It's a plan, sir. I'm going to have to have one with the other one. All right. And the other one being in Silent Hill 4, The Room, there is a hospital patient monster that burps when you hit it. And out of the bus, oh, we're not at the bus bar yet. If you happen to hit it down a flight of stairs, it will burp on every step it hits.

And it's a thing. and an otherwise very frightening game that made me laugh so hard, I felt like I was having a stroke. So stupid monsters. Stupid monsters. Because Eric Marseysack is in the audience tonight. Woo! I feel like. Super stars, Eric Marseysack.

Let's take a moment out from this question to answer who is Eric Marseysack. Eric Marseysack is among the other things the guy who introduced Dan and me. And so that's true. And was the comedy mastermind behind the late lamented Juby Hall theater where we spent a lot of time performing. Put up a show called Sarah Shaper's Obsessed View. You may know Sarah Shaper from television. Yeah.

So he's a real comedy emperesario. Yeah. But he introduced me to a film called And Elliott, I believe, to a film called Hard Rock Zombies. Oh, oh, yeah. We've talked about it on the podcast before. There's a Nazi zombie like, like, gnome creature. He's a little puppet who, through the movie, for inexplicable reasons, is slowly eating himself. He's eating his own. He's eating, and he's like, he likes like, to our sugar or sugar or something. And he's eating, and then by the end of it,

he's got no skin left, and the mask that's on the puppet just gets sucked into the mouth. LAUGHTER I don't know what, I don't know what was supposed to be scary about that or why why was doing that or what what's threatening about someone who basically disposes of themselves as a threat. I don't know. I didn't make your hard like zombies right? I didn't make it that I wish ahead. So we vamp for long enough. Let's answer this question, Elliot.

I'm having trouble thinking because all monsters are amazing. I'm going to say, Chet, from Weird Science. He's a monster. Hold on a second. He looks, I mean, he's a terrible brother. He gets turned into kind of a, like a phyla poop with arms. Yeah. If that's not the definition of a Like a pile of poop with arms. Yeah If that's not the definition of a monster. It's not at all

But okay, I'll take it Stupid monster. I think I'm gonna take It's not Good good podcast, you know what? You know what can't think of a stupid monster, but I'll tell you a stupid monster trope that I don't like. I'll give you an example of it, which was when a monster is mistaken for a person in a costume.

Yep. I'll give you an example, which is the movie The Guyver, in which a guy transforms into a monster with Mark Hamill, which a guy transforms into a monster and actually runs on to a movie set, and they think that he's the guy in a costume for the movie. And it's like, come on, that's,

that like they exist in a universe where Halloween costumes and costumes in general are way better than they are in the real world and I cannot buy that. Because usually, even if someone's wearing a costume, they still have to wear shoes. And monsters, unless it's Dracula or the Wolfman halfway through.

Or I guess Frankenstein's monster, they don't wear shoes. I'm sorry. I mean, Frankenstein's kind of, Frankenstein's monster is kind of known for his shoes. Yeah, shut your mouth, Frankenstein. Yeah, he's kind of what? He's known for his shoes, like he is a footwear. Yeah, he's known for his line of shoes. Yeah.

Yeah. It does look like he's wearing like, uh, Doc Martin's around all the time. Well, it's ironic because what he's actually responsible for is Steve Madden shoes. And that's why in all his ads, you see horrible kind of human creations. He's wearing shape ups, which is why his butt is so tight.

Even though he was given the butt of someone who never worked out, it looks amazing now. Those shoes don't work. Anyway, that's... That's not an answer to that. There you go. I couldn't think of one. And I know on the way home, I'll be thinking of a couple.

So anyway, I'll let you know later. Next question. Hey guys, Jeremy, last name withheld. And Jeremy Sesto. So tonight, I watched with Held. May Jeremy Sesto. So tonight I watch The Vitch. And to hold off the anger of the crowd, I thought there were lots of really good things in the film. However, I was disappointed because I expected a horror film

and it felt like more of a period drama. It's just what I like to think of as a kangaroo jack effect. A movie that is made to work in it. I mean, it's a period drama and that it's no longer a point when J.O. Connell can open a film. Like that's a time in history we can remember. Although to be fair, the kangaroo opened that movie. It's probably because of that scene where

Black Phillip does that rap. You like to live deliciously, maliciously. So my question to you is, what is your favorite examples of a film that you think would be good but was unfortunately mis-marketed for the genre that it was intended? John Carter. John Carter. John Carter was mis-marketed. It was a really good movie and they made it look bad.

That was a very simple answer. Yeah, it's not getting there. You narrowly give us a lot of time to think. You want to talk more about it? I'm going to tell you the heat of it. What's that grown-up movie or adults? What's it called? Halfway grown-up that Shirley Stern movie? Oh, a young adult. Young adult. Yeah, you're a monster. I went to see a movie about a terrible mother-in-law. And it wasn't until halfway through the film that I realized, either this has been marketed wrong to me, or I bought a ticket to the wrong movie.

Where's Jane Fonda? But yeah, I think young adult, if I had known halfway through that it was not really a comedy, I probably still wouldn't have liked it, but I would have understood it. Damn it, maybe I would have respected it. I got nothing. Okay. I'm sorry. You want to do what I did with the silly monster thing and just do a sideways answer that's not quite what they're asking for. I'll sing a song. To dream, the impossible dream. To do a thing that I don't know.

To be there when I should be overheard. That's it. Yeah. That's called... The hit. The hit. The hit number one song from Man of Dementia. Yes, another question please.

Hello, hello. Hello. My name is Elizabeth. And I have a question for you. With the exception of our Lord and Savior, Savior Dickless Cage, if you could have anyone living on the podcast, who would you select and what movie would you watch with them? I mean, I'm mad about Mads.

That goes where I say, and I'm going to mispronounce his name as Mads through the whole episode. What movie? I don't know what I'd watch with them. I mean, I love the hallorizing. So we're just watching with them and be like, that's awesome when you're beating that guy up. Hey, what was that scene like when you beat that other guy up?

That's awesome. Um, I feel like this is a weird one since he's now your boss, but I feel like having Joel on would be great. Oh, yeah. He would be great. He'd be really good. This is a little sexual for Joel, but I always... But I want Joel inside me.

I'm a little bit called all-analmurses. Like in Inner Space? No, I... Like in Inner Space, right? Yeah, you want to shrink him down. Yeah. So he can find out that you're pregnant. Like an inner space, right? Yeah, you want to shrink them down. Yeah So you can find out that you're pregnant. No one of my favorite bad movies is hard to get to why I Joel always tried to stick it stay away from like you

Too much well cuz that's that's this mst3k is a family show. Yeah, this is not a family podcast I mean he is a grown man with two children. You know, you know, it's how it's done That's one way that's one of my favorite that he's gonna be horrified You know, if you want to see a giant poison a snake pop out of a toilet and then someone shoot it with a rocket launcher Watch hard ticket to why If I could watch a movie with anyone I'd probably watch a movie with Jeff Freak Holmes. Oh! And that movie would be a little movie I like to call Castlevania. Yeah, I mean, you already watched it with the freak.

I already watched it with the freak. Now I want another perspective. Yeah, I do. I want to get, it's two sides of the same coin, Ellie. Yeah. Step right up. Hey, dude, what's up? What's up, dude?

Hey, man. That's pretty cool. My name's Louis. So let's say like Gerard Butler's next movie is Taylor made for the Flap House. What would it be? Oh man. I mean, like we kind of watched it today, but that's...

Let's go. What do you guys say? Oh man. So we watch a lot of big crazy action adventure movies that just do really poorly, but we've already seen them in so many of those. We also see, but we saw them in bed that's often dead, too. Yeah, we did see him in bed that all was on the, yeah, the ugly truth, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So what would we not? It's like a triple threat, quadruple threat. I mean, if we could see, I want to see him in an animated film as a voice. Okay, you see him here, you wouldn't see him.

I mean, I don't want to strunk and light you, but I'm a little worried about your incorrect usage throughout the podcast. He's playing himself. Oh, so it's a cartoon about you. It's a cartoon about Gerard Butler trying to make bad dad soccer dad. OK.

It's like the player, but it's animated. And it's got dextalk tech as the sidekick. And the romantic interest, I assume? Dexter Techive as the sidekick. And the romantic interest, I assume? The romantic interest is Betty Boop. OK. I would like to see him in a historical drama when she plays a famous inventor from either the 18th or 19th

centuries, because I want to see him, or no. Here's what I want him to play, Archimedes, because I want to see how he'd handle the scene where he discovers displacement of water and jumps out of the bath and runs through the town naked. You see how he'd react. But I also want to see the scene at the end where the Romans, not Roman, whoever

is, where that soldier's from that killed him, goes up and tries to kill him, but he changes history and kills that soldier dead. Because he's not Archimedes, he's Gerard Butler. For his, I'm going to call him Ger Joe Archimedes, he's Gerard Butler. Or as long as I'm gonna call him Gerard Archimedes. I feel like we haven't seen him in a musical yet. That's true. He was in the fandom of the opera.

Oh, but I didn't see that. Yeah. So technically Stuart's correct. So we should stop with the people who are currently in line, not that I feel. Are you okay? Someone fell down in the back and you seem to be all right. Okay. It's getting rowdy.

So let's, yeah, if you're not online right now, you're not asking a question because this place is about to E-X-P-L-O-D-E like Neo Tokyo. So, that's a reference to a poster. Anyway, next question. Hi Seth, last name withheld. Hi Seth. I really appreciate the disclaimer at your live shows for Q and A's, because Hell on Earth is a Comic Con Q and A.

I think it's terrible. Just trying to go to a video on Q&A. I think it's terrible. Just trying to go to a video and Q&A. A lot of old people have a lot of stories about when they saw each individual video. And they're like, and they're dying soon. So they don't care how much of your time they take. That sort of answers my question, which was, what's the worst Q&A session that you experienced?

And yeah, pretty much. Oh, that was it for me. Yeah. Woody Allen went was at the 92nd Street Y, and they said ahead of time, he's going to be talking about he selected a number of movies to be asked about. That means something to him.

And he's going to discuss those. He's not going to talk about his own movies. And every question, the moderator had to be like, no, we've already said he's not going to talk about his movies. The only question is about the we want to create a discussion on these movies. Every question. Everyone had a story about how much they love Woody Allen movies and how much they

meant to them. And they were each waiting for that moment of Woody Allen is like, no, what? No one is ever connected with my friends. The way that you have, meet me backstage because we're best friends now and I want to spend every day with you and annoying you as my heir. I don't know if I can think of a specific one but I do think that if you go to a movie Q&A most of the time the guy who's running the Q&A is just the programmer for that particular movie theater and the skill set that is let's program a movie theater is different from the skill set

of, let's talk in front of people. And so let's potentially keep this weird creative guy on track. And, but also like, it's very much like, I am so in awe of you and let me talk for you know like 12 minutes giving my interpretation of the film that we just watched and then you are gonna say yes or no because I have asked a non-opened and new question at the end of that. I would say the worst Q&A I went to was also the best which was a Q&A that Elliott went to with me. Is that only God forgives? Yep, which was for the, let's say, mixed received movie, only God forgives, directed by Nicholas

Wendig Reffin. And the panel was all, like either tie actors or Nicholas Wendig Reffin, who is a super weirdo. Or, or a, the star of the movie, why can't I remember? Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling, you have to go. There was plenty of film students asking their questions that just were basically trying to show off how much they knew. But the highlight of the Q&A was when Ryan Gosling

when asked if he could play any character in any film who would he play, and he said, Freddie Krueger. And the ruin ruined crazy. That's great, right. I'll tell you this about a story where the question askers weren't the problem, where the person answering the question was the problem. This is a Q&A that I went to with the same person

that I was with, the only God forgives one, my friend Brock my hand in the audience. Anyway, where this was a screening of targets, which Peter Bogdanovich was introducing the film, I dropped my hand in the audience. Anyway, where this was a screening of targets, at which Peter Bogdanovich was introducing the film, and he went so long, because, and he pulled a trick, I got so much respect for him calling this trick, the moderator was openly, openly being upset

with how much long Peter Bogdanovich was taking, because they had to run the film, and I think they had to cancel the screening afterwards, because he went so long. I might be remembering that wrong, but that had to run the film, and I think they had to cancel the screening afterwards because he went so long. I might be remembering that wrong, but that's how I remember it. But he talked for, it was supposed to be like a 50 minute introduction when at least 45 minutes, because he would answer a question, and before the moderator could say anything, by an energy of say, one more question, one more question.

And he answered at least 12, one more questions. And so many of his stories were about famous people who are dead now, so they can't deny it, telling him how good he is about stuff. I can imagine a young Elliot like sweating and getting excited about the possibility of doing that exact thing. Someday, someday. Oh Jeff last name with held. Yeah. I'm wondering if there are any recent bad movies you have intentionally avoided doing for the show. Um, I feel like we've definitely pointedly not done the riddicula of six.

Oh yeah, yeah, that's true. Every time I want to watch something for Sandal Vembers, you insist that Sandal Vembers doesn't exist. Yeah. And then we're not allowed to just watch the for Sandal Vember. You insist that Sandal Vember doesn't exist. Yeah. And then we're not allowed to just watch the Adam Saler movies. I don't know. Also, we pointfully avoid anything that is over like 95 minutes. Yeah, we try.

I mean, that's the sweet spot. Sometimes we end up with a two hour or because we didn't realize it. 87 minutes. Yeah. Just crank it up. And there are sometimes when there's a movie, I want to watch the Laugh House, and then Dan just goes ahead and watches it on his own

because he's good like, on a plane or just... I watched it. What's the last one? Can you remember one? Uh, off the top of my head. No, I don't remember. But a lot of times you go, well, I watched it, I watched it because I thought we might kind of like it.

And I'm like, yeah, thanks. So now... I mean, I think you understand what the point of the podcast is. Like, I'm deliberately trying to fuck with you guys. Oh, I see. Nine years of this. I never realized, and I never realized it's like a Stanford experiment. But kind of a damn thing.

I feel like every time I show up to watch a movie, and it isn't Bucky Larson born to be a star. I'm like thank you. All right we got one more question and then you can get out of this hot, hot room down here. Or stick around and have some fun. Yeah, stick around. Have a drink with me, dude. Please, you can have a drink with Stuart or Dan but not me anyway. I'm gonna go home. I got places to be tomorrow and that place is. Wait, what? Something else, something vulgar.

Some of them are just faces. Yeah, and that's not gonna happen because that's how you get pimples. Anyway, so. That's a cold, that's an old carry grant beauty tip. You'd say don't touch your face. That's how you're skinned with it. Anyway. As I go now, Nick,

well, that's name was spelled out. Being that there's a direct connection to mystery science theater. If you could actually take any of your episodes and bring it to, you know, the live setting, but if you want to call it for Mr. Science Theater, in between episodes, what would be the schedule

or what characters would you want to play from the movie or watching? Like a host segment you're saying? Yeah, like the host segments. When we get Torgo, we get, or take a, what would you guys like to take and make your own like mystery science theater post episode? Oh my goodness.

Good question. Good question. Good question. Question points on that. I think it would be fun to be an Oolive. Yeah. Yeah. Dan says while leering at us, he said wistfully.

You guys ever want to get in one of those oogi lives? Yeah. No. I mean, two of you would obviously be the one to be fun to be. Yeah. What do you want to be the science one? Come on. You get to say science testing. I'd love to get to be? The science one? Come on. You get to say science testing. I'd love to get to be a snake man from Jonah Hex. Snake man.

Snake man. I think I would want someone to come on playing not his character from Faithful Planning, but Neil Brin himself. Because there's such a great divide between this character and the creative you could get Neil brain That would be the most that would be the sweetest thing of all That's from if I were a rich man Oh, yeah, you couldn't tell cuz I didn't do my my tevius-lash-bane voice Why didn't you do that?

You know what Dan sometimes you make decisions that are the wrong decision in the moment All right, all being president anyway We've got a lot of fun tonight guys. Yeah, what have we ever show Dan? We're how far over are we going pretty far over? Dan what have we learned tonight? We've learned that when you get 150 people in a small room, it gets very warm. Just take your shirt off, dude. They all want it.

That's what they want. That's what they want. I have an undershirt on. It's like when we record in your place. Yeah, we learn. What do we do next? Do we do recommendations? No. A read-remending? A read-rem-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re- I'm not going to be a big fan of that. I'm not going to be a big fan of that. I'm not going to be a big fan of that.

I'm not going to be a big fan of that. I'm not going to be a big fan of that. I'm not going to be a big fan of that. I'm not going to be a big fan of that. I'm not going to be a big fan of that. I'm not going to be a big fan of that. I'm not going to be a big fan of that. I'm not going to be a big fan of that.

I'm not going to be a big fan of that. I'm not going to be a big fan of that. I'm not going to be a big fan of that. Thanks for loving. Thanks for learning. Thanks for living, and if you do it, thanks for lasting. Uh... Uh... What's gonna say? Not what I was gonna say. For the flop house, I've been to Amacoi. For the flop house, I've been Stuart Wellington. All right, guys. I'll be for the flop house, too.

And I'll be, Ellie Kalen. Good night, everyone. Woo! Bye! ROCKAY IN THE USA. ROCKAY IN THE USA. Oh, wow. Woo!

Oh, wow. Let's go. Let's go. I'm Jesse Thorne. Artists don't. Listen or supported. I'm Jesse Thorne. I'm Jordan Morris. The federal government has millions of dollars in programs and opportunities that you need to seize today.

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