The Flop House - Ep.# 214 - Victor Frankenstein
Episode Date: October 1, 2016BOOOGENS! Shocktober begins with Victor Frankenstein, the movie that posits that maybe we don't actually wanna see the monster that much. Meanwhile, Elliott disrespects the death of several major pop ...artists, Stu brings up Jackie Chan again, and Dan says some weird things about ears and hot dogs. Wikipedia synopsis for Victor Frankenstein. Movies recommended in this episode: Mr. Right The Howling The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean
Transcript
Discussion (0)
On this episode we discuss Victor Frankenstein.
Just the guy?
Yeah. Yeah, we just were like, what's up with him?
I haven't seen him since college.
I mean, I see my Facebook and he's like,
still working on this corpse and I like it.
I don't really like it but I give him a like
because I feel bad for him.
Yeah, it's a pity like.
And he always tags the corpse and he makes a Facebook page
for the corpse and you're like, dude,
if you spent less time on your social media marketing
campaign and more time on your studies and your research,
maybe you'd have brought that corpse back to life by now.
When stage got fucking Instagram feeds for every project
and it's like, come on, stop putting the cart
before the corpse, am I right?
Yeah, but he's verified on Instagram now.
So he's got that going for him.
True.
I mean, what do you have to show for it on Instagram?
I don't even have an Instagram account.
Movies! Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy and I'm steward Wellington six
foot one hard body. And I'm Elliott Kaelin five foot four soft lexally buddy.
Wow, I didn't know what we're doing this guys. I'm sorry.
Well, I mean, it's called yes and a big. Yeah, you want to do your bed?
Yeah, start over. Do yours. I'm Dan McCoy, mediocre body.
Okay, cool, you're part of the cool guy club.
A default human, super awesome red.
What is this and what do we do on it?
This is a podcast, number one, first principles.
Not a hot dog.
No, it's not a unicorn.
It's sort of a hot dog in your ear.
I mean, even though it's very tempting,
because your hot dog is about ear insertion sized and your ear is a whole thing.
What?
I mean, your ear does have a whole you can put things in and the thing is called sound.
How is a hot dog ear insertion sized?
Because Dan, I don't know what ears you have.
And be what kind of hot dogs you've been looking at.
They could be, there's like a little mini-fresh.
I'm looking at your ears right now and and I could put hot dog in there.
No, like, tip of hot dog.
It's worth.
That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah, with work.
I mean, maybe if you slather and mustard and mayonnaise,
it's gonna take effort.
It's not like you just accidentally like just slip it in.
No, I could slip it in anywhere.
I can, I can, you know what, forget I ever mentioned hot dogs.
Okay, so what do we do on this podcast?
This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie.
So it's not a hamburger.
No, it's not a hamburger.
It's not a hot dog.
The movie, it's not hamburger the movie.
It's a podcast where we watch a bad movie
and then we talk about it.
It's hamburger the movie about downhill skating
or downhill skiing.
It's actually a Holocaust picture.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Yeah, it takes place in Hamburg.
Oh, okay.
There's a hamburger.
I was gonna ask how connected,
but then you got there first.
Yeah.
Well, that's why they call me the get there first.
Yeah.
Elliott, the get there first.
They sound like a really well-defined first.
Yeah.
Fastest get there in the West.
Mm-hmm.
Nobody gets there first. That's No one gets there firster.
That's my slogan.
That's how you got right to the pony express for your slogan.
Nobody gets there firster.
Yeah, because I'm an immortal who's walked the earth for centuries.
Thanks for blowing my cover, Dan.
Anyway.
So on this podcast, we talk about bad movies.
And, and guys guys and it's
Shocktober. What the scariest time of the year? Yeah, well we didn't have scary
intro music that I got to hear but maybe the people, oh I'm doing a shitty
job here. You didn't play scary intro music for us to get us in the
value of real time. What's going on?
I don't know.
I mean, the only reason we would
need it is because technically we're
recording this at the tail end of
small Denver for release in
October.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The peak behind the curtain,
a little podcast magic.
Yeah, you know, I guess there's a
good way to kind of ease ourselves
into the season, probably the
scariest season of the year.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I think the scariest season of the year to I don't know. Yeah. The scariest season of the year to me is tax season.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
This guy has got a real,
it's cute take on modern life.
I take the ordinary every day kind of like
irritations of modern life and I apply my unique viewpoint.
It's in a series of books called,
everything I need to know,
I learned right now from you.
Wow. The books are are blank they cost $25
Fill them out send them to me. I got to start learning
What a great scam. So what do we do with shot tover a shot tover is the part of the year that we watch
Scary movies or movies that are
Macabre in some way. Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't. Time a
cop the great baseball player. I wouldn't necessarily say that the movie
watch tonight was particularly scary. No, but it was gross. It was in the Halloween
tradition. Yeah. One of the classic monsters. One of the classic Halloween stories.
Now what story is it? Well, the movie's called Victor Frankenstein. So guess. So guess.
You're right, the mummy. Good work, Einstein. Yeah,
M.O.T.E.B. is back. Famous literary detective Einstein. If you've got a story, you don't know what
it is. There's only one man you can call on and he works at the patent office in Bern.
Oh, it's not good at math, but he's a genius at story. Yeah.
I'm not good at math, but he's a genius at story. Yeah.
He was actually, I mean, he was better
than the average person at math.
Oh, okay.
Math was not his strongest suit as a theoretical physicist,
but he would get help from other people
to do the math work with him,
but he was better at math than like we are.
Sure.
Yeah, if he had like a Marvel card on the back
if it had like power ratings,
he would still be superhuman at math,
but he wouldn't be like as good as he is at physics.
I mean, it would be like, let's say it's a one-to-ten scale
with one being a normal math.
No, Matt, one would be subnormal math.
The same way, there's that one checklist.
That's like what the Rhino would be at in math.
Yes, exactly.
There's this one checklist card.
Yeah, it's quite a main villain.
Okay, Rhino.
Except for that one tangled web.
No, no, not good at math.
I don't know.
It's just kind of a big dumb dude.
Okay.
He's a fucking rhino.
What's he gonna be good at?
Two things, smashing into stuff and math.
That's right.
Anyway, we get a one day at once.
Thank you.
I don't like this modern day, this ties into the movie.
Modern day thing where everyone's good at everything.
Look, we all get a trophy.
But anyway, so Einstein would get like a four in math,
but he'd have a 10 in like conceptual imagination.
Okay.
Oh wow, that's an interesting stuff.
I was just, human dog, I'm sure it was that.
I mean, thanks for the teaching moment Einstein,
but I was just using the, thank Einstein, but I was just using the...
Thank God, me.
I was just using the popular conception of Einstein
for community purposes.
Yeah, but it's not true, and I don't like it.
All right.
Comedy should be based on truth,
unless it's really funny when it's made up.
All right, thanks, Del Close Einstein.
Delbert Einstein.
The mix of Del Close and Albert Einstein.
He's just Albert Einstein with a heroin addiction.
Anyway, here's the thing.
We watched this movie, Victor Frankenstein.
It's a retelling of the classic Frankenstein tale
at Hollywood would probably refer to it as a legend,
but I would refer to it as a novel written by Mary Shelley.
That's a very specific time.
More accurate.
More accurate.
The same way that they were the ads for Heart of the Sea,
where they referred to the true story
behind the legend of Moby Dick.
And I was like, bullshit dude, that was a novel.
Herman Melville wrote,
you got that legend, come on.
Yeah, it wasn't like Wailers were like,
Moby Dick roams these seas.
You could, it doesn't go back thousands of years.
Stormy legend tells that on Stormy night,
you can see his blowhole, blowing through the air. still see that dicks hole they say if you look hard enough
Look hard enough for the dick hole
Spray it speaking of dickhole young Pete
Why I don't like where this go. It's a red sea for a long time. I'm just saying. Yeah, let's not go there
So do you think we think her her her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her,
her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her,
her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her,
her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her,
her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her,
her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her,
her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her,
her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her and then, but he was like, move to write the story down in novel form because Moabie Dick would come to him at night
and as Attic and force him to tell the story
or he'd chop his head off.
Yeah, that was probably...
I was probably...
That was probably it, yeah.
Yeah.
Probably.
That's probably exactly what happened.
Okay.
Cool.
So, right down.
So, I'm gonna crack that one.
So, I hope that's in the movie that we didn't watch
and where I guess we're gonna do it.
I mean, hard to see I think is framed
by the narrative, someone telling Herman Melville
this story, but I haven't seen it.
But Vincor Frankenstein is what we'll watch.
It's the latest in a long line of Frankenstein reboots.
At this point, why even call it a reboot?
It's just a new adaptation.
It's a new spin on the classic legend.
Nobody knows who wrote it.
Dr. Frankenstein and his creation, The Monster.
And we went into this assuming it was part of Universal's attempt to build a cinematic universe
like the... With Dracula and told. Yeah. And it turns out it was not. There's a 20th Century Fox film.
Although it does feature Charles Dance in a small, small role. Just like he was in Dracula and told.
And they're very small roles in drag. I even made a joke that he was never gonna he just shows up to be a dick and leaves and that's
totally all that happened. Exactly what I'm there may have been other material
dance is in and he dances out. That's almost exactly a quote from Tango and cash. Really?
He tangos in and he tangos on out with all money and our drugs But uh, so you keep part of that jack balance impressions. Ellie. It's wide eyes roaming the room
Yeah, uh, there's not a heavy breathing of that jack balance oppression. Oh, sorry. Yeah
Tango and cash cash and tango
Tango makes three. Where did you get those?
It's about a gay penguin.
Where did you get those mice that you're playing with, Elliot?
In its maze table, like, you've, next to my miniature,
wall of mirrors that I use for shootouts,
it's a somewhat whimsical office.
You're becoming a crib keeper, Jack.
James Hong, why are you, each edging away from me?
So, well, we're talking about every movie but Victor Frankenstein. Yep. So 20th Century Fox Maybe was trying to steal Universal's thunder Charles dance is in Dracula and told as the character who's eventually
Assume going to be the big bad that all the monsters have to face, but I don't even know if they're still making those
Yeah, but this is it's a new spin told from Egor's point of view
Like a fucking Nick Caraway.
Yeah.
Nick Caraway, Steve.
I mean, Victor Frankenstein is to Getzby as Nick Caraway.
Yeah.
And this is pretty clear, I guess.
And there's a Daisy character.
I know.
Miller character.
Yep.
They're all there.
See, it holds up.
Now, we begin, I don't know, because I was
a little, I was running late and you guys started the movie without me. So as a beginning,
you missed almost no. Okay, Elliot, why don't you guess how the movie begins? My guess would be
you get one guess and if you're right, Dan will give you $100. Wow, I'll take those on. And what
happens if I guess wrong? Dan will give you $50.
Okay, that sounds great.
And the lap dance.
That's worth $50 right there.
I'm Greg and even.
My guess, seeing as this is a retelling of a monster story
and this is the year 2016,
and nobody's learned their fucking lesson,
is my guess is that it opens with some kind of like
cryptic scene from Future in the movie
with a voiceover
talking about how like some stories people think they know,
but you don't really know the real story behind the story.
You are 100% correct.
They literally show shots of the like the monster hanging up
during the storm, superimp at Wall, Daniel Radcliffe,
who plays Igor in this movie,
tells you like, you know him as this dude,
but he was actually my friend.
Do you think you know the story, et cetera?
Oh, I hate that stuff so much.
All right, well.
And he, one, you'll count it out.
Two.
Give it to me in panties.
Three.
What is this after the video?
Yeah, maybe later, but I appreciate you paying up on the vet.
Because here, like, and again, I only don't like it
because I've seen it so many times before.
If it had never been done before, then if I guess that,
and you told me it was right.
If you had seen a totally original concept on film,
you would have liked it.
Exactly.
It's strange, right?
If you experienced a brand new sensation,
you'd be up for that.
I guess what I'm saying is there's nothing inherently wrong
with opening the story that way,
except it's been done thousands of times before.
The same way that hallelujah, a perfectly mediocre song,
is only hateful because it's been used a hundred million ways.
Yeah, but what if it's sung by Katie Segal
while the characters of sons of Anarchy are getting
into some kind of motorcycle hijinks?
I mean, I like Katie Segal and she started as a singer.
She's got the chops.
She'll always be pegged, Bundy, to me.
Okay.
Oh, wow, that's a firm stance you're taking it with it.
You want to say something about Lila?
Yeah.
Well, I was going to say that I would appreciate it more of Lila saying how Lila and some mournful episode
of the season.
As it shows the other,
Zoyd Brid being murdered and the Jamaican accountant,
whatever his name was being killed.
Her name's Conrad, that's right.
And I always remember Katie Sagole
as the, I'm assuming she's a witch
on Bastion Mexicaner.
You'll never know, I think that show isn't it.
The story's gonna be, I always remember Katie Sagole.
It's the older woman who took my big dinner
and threw it out the window to be devoured by crabs.
It was at a beach side resort.
I see.
Anyway, let's give it to the movie.
So Daniel Radkiff, Cliff plays Igor,
who starts out as a tortured hunchback without even
a name to his name in a circus.
I assume he was sold the circus as a child, as deformed.
He's mistreated.
They've made him up like a clown.
Everyone makes one of them.
He's got a crush on an acrobat lady who's nice to him.
Yeah, he's played by the arguably the hot...
Why would you...
This is something you said during the movie.
I don't know why you'd committed to recording from down to
having. You now opened up an unnecessary debate.
One about the hotness of the sisters on down having and two on
whether we as men are judging these characters only on their
hotness. Yeah. Now, did you say arguably because you're
covering your own ass?
Why do you marry has your charms?
I don't know.
I don't even know.
Look, let's not even watch out and Abby.
Is that Maggie Smith?
Because she's amazing.
All I know is that Maggie Smith is down grabby on that show.
It's all I know about.
Down grabby?
She's very grabby.
He and one day the acrobat.
And he also, not only does he have a crush on this acrobat woman, but he's also a tender
soul who spends his time doing super amazing drawings of human anatomy and studying medical
texts that he, I guess, scavenges.
Oh, so he was studying medical texts.
Yeah.
Oh, I missed that part too, okay.
Yeah.
Cause I thought he was just like a naturally gifted at knowing bodies.
I mean, he is too. It's both these things. And once they took him to the body's exhibit,
he's got gifted hands like Chinese corpses with their skin taken off.
He has all those incredible cross sections. That's what it is. He what? I said, he has gifted
hands like, you know, what's his face? The guy wrote gifted hands. The guy who was a person. Yeah, been Carson. Okay, I mean, you work for the
Daily Show. Yeah, I'm sure of these names. I haven't worked there in like a year. I get
one of those eternal sunshine brainwipes at the end of the day, just to try and keep things
clean in there. That's a good idea. Yeah. So, uh, so we have magical hunchback.
What magical hunchback and one day,
there's a trouble at the circus, the Acrobat Falls.
She seems to be dead.
Luckily, there's a doctor in the,
he said, is there a doctor in the house?
Classic Bugs Bunny gift.
Is there a doctor in the house?
Is there a doctor in the house?
Silhouette walks up, gets in the,
I'm a doctor.
And what's up doc?
And onto the next gig.
Uh, it turns out doc. It turns out Doc.
All the stuff, thanks buddy.
James McAvoy, doctor, Victor Frankenstein,
is in the audience and together he wins.
So he appears to be someone eccentric.
He knows his stuff, he has a job.
He's a little goofy and looks,
there's a possibility.
Like he is a disability where if he stares
at a organic body and motion,
he'll see like it's bone structure,
like sketched out over in silhouette.
It is not a real Sherlock doc.
It's Sherlock doc.
Which is appropriate to the show.
The show was directed by a guy
who was directed at a bunch of episodes of Sherlock doc.
Yes, and they really, like they
at Sherlock doc. They sure locked up.
They sure locked up these characters.
And let me just say one thing.
I'm gonna be a little, I'm gonna reveal a little bit Okay, the first third of this movie I really enjoyed a lot
Mm-hmm, and we'll get into it. It's super gross
I mean you are totally eating a bunch of chicken at that point
So maybe you're just predisposed to liking it. You have I mean
Mommy's
I mean the fact that I'm eating the most delicious food that existed
I mean usually though that just serves to heighten
how shitty what I'm seeing is.
Because I eat the same thing every movie.
So I think we can just eliminate that as an element.
Oh, yeah.
Because it's the same condition every single time.
Yeah, yeah.
After a while, even after a while,
even after a while even after a while,
even after a while even after a while,
even after a while even after a while, even after a while,
even after a while, even after a while, even after a while,
even after a while, even after a while, even after a while,
even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even after a while, even So that's not what I'm saying. But I'm saying is that because that environmental factor is the same for every single film,
we cannot take it to be an influence on my feelings
about this film.
For else, we'd have to take it as an influence on my feelings
for films like Food Fight, which again,
I was eating Popeye as well, watching.
And yet it was a horrifying experience.
Only the solace of Popeye's in my mouth
was what got me through it.
I thought it was because we had you chain to the chair you were sitting in.
I mean, and you had my eyes pulled open, like clock or guard style, yeah.
What's that therapy called?
The Lutavico treatment?
Lutavico treatment.
Yeah, Lutavico treatment.
That's what you're doing.
The foodavico treatment.
Oh, hey.
Okay, so let's get back to this fuck.
Yeah, because we're like, what, ten minutes into the movies.
So they're able to save the acrobat's life
by doing one of those movie medical things where
James McAvoy looks at her, sees the bone structure drawn
as if it's in a medical textbook and says like,
hit her right there and they like slam their fists
into her chest.
Yeah, but the actor, the actor,
the Igor, like, McAvoy like knows what's going on,
but Igor is the one who's like,
we gotta like punch her like,
medical style.
Yeah, he's like, I have a secret crush on her,
so I wanna be the one puncher just.
Yeah.
McIvoy is really impressed and he's like,
Igor, except he doesn't have a name,
because you and me buddy.
Unnamed hunchback, we gotta get you out of here.
The hunchback is locked up by his evil circus captors. James McVill uses science to help him escape
and then uses punching and kicking
to fight their way through the circus of crime.
And it was at this point,
it was like a choose your own adventure.
If I wanted to be pissed off that,
just like in every other movie,
this character who's already a mad scientist
who wants to bring back the dead
is also some kind of fighting genius.
Yeah, it's great to kick a bunch.
And be mad about that because it's not necessary
and whatever happened to movies where people had a strength
that was balanced by a weakness.
And what ever happened to Baby Jane?
She got crazy.
Oh, okay.
It's all actually explained very well in the movie.
Turn to page 20.
But if I want to just buy into the zaniness of it all
and say, hey, you know what?
Instead of applying good movie terms to this,
I'm gonna apply crazy movie terms to this.
And this is two guys,
one of them a hunchback dress like a clown,
fighting their way through an evil circus.
A hunchback Robert Smith from the cure.
Yeah, turn to page 45,
and I turned to page 45.
Yeah, yeah.
I chose that adventure of saying,
you know, a movie, I'm gonna buy into it,
which is why it was so much more that much more of a disappointment when the movie fell
apart later. But anyway, they fight their way through the circus. They get out. Everything's okay,
right? It looks to be that way at first, because James McAvoy has a cool bachelor pad full of crazy
steampunk invention, inventions. And he shows, we get to see this really awesome scene where he we realize that Igor who is named
Igor at this point. We get a name because he's going to he says my landlord is named Igor. He's
not around. If anyone asks your Igor. And of course they pause so the audience can be like,
whoa, this is a huge moment. We're witnessing an history. That's how it happened.
Yep. I would have just assumed that like I I thought this was a different hunchback in a Frankie's movie.
I figured that maybe like just someone would give him that name, like I don't know his
parents or somebody.
I thought maybe he could have just been named Igor from the movie and that maybe we didn't
need an origin for a name that is not a cra- it's not like he got the name Flash Lightning
Berg or like, or like Google
eyes Buffy, like a crazy name we need more.
That's what he grew.
The Jewish, uh, speed, uh, superhero.
Jesus, he's, uh, yeah, it's Jewish and he has the power to, uh, get, be guilted by his
parents in the blink of an eye.
I always assumed that Igor was an acronym based on some kind of physical attribute of
it. Yeah. I got...
Yep.
Orange.
Ostrich.
Ostrich.
Ostrich.
Rips.
Okay, yep.
I got Ostrich.
That's what I always assumed was the case.
So that it was like intelligent, guardian, or operational research, something like that.
Like it's an acronym like Wildcats, you know, or Mask.
What was Wildcats?
A covert action team squad.
I think it was just covert action teams.
Wild was not an acronym.
There was a descriptor yet.
Do I want the same cat or the Wildcat?
Well, the Wildcats $50 cheaper, so might as well take that.
Yeah, yeah, it'll go better up against wet works.
But also an acronym.
I don't think that it was.
I know, it wasn't.
So there were, and James McVoy, Cures Igor of his hunt.
She says, you're not really a hunchback.
You have an enormous abscess full of pus.
And he stabs him in the back with a tube.
And then that, and then starts pumping it out.
But then to really prime it, he sticks his mouth on the other end of the tube and siphons
it out and has to spit out all this abset's pus.
And it was at this point that I was like, I made the right decision by just saying like
this movie because this is disgusting.
And it's not what I expected at all.
And here's the main strength of this movie, which does not, unfortunately, the movie doesn't
continue with after a certain point, but it like really gets across
how disgusting the human body is,
and how gross it would be to be working with dead body parts
and trying to put them together and zap them
with electricity like.
All the other Frank St. Movies that I've seen,
I've never seen like Flesh for Frank at the time,
which I guess is more of a sex movie.
But like, all the other ones are pretty sanitary
and clinging, considering the main characters
are literally ripping organs apart
and stuffing them together and sowing things.
And like, yeah, our heroes are grave rovers.
Yeah, and to really get across
like how viscerally gross that is,
like I was saying through over watching.
And how like rudimentary the science is?
Yes, that if Stuart Gordon had been making this movie,
it would have been a really fun movie.
It would have been disgusting.
Grosser, like it would be really disgusting.
So he sucks all the pus out and he fixes
Igor's back with a back brace.
And then he shows him, I had this experiment.
I have a pair of human eyes I've kept preserved
in this briny liquid.
And using electricity, I can make it,
I can make it so that they open and wink.
And if I put fire up to them,
they close because of the brightness. I've these eyes I've kept alive and we're gonna do that.
These eyes are briny. These eyes have seen a lot of brine but they'll never see a pick of like you.
I'm interviewed a lot of roommates.
I'm gonna buy you guys. I've interviewed a lot of roommates.
Okay.
And I usually like, do you have eyes preserved in brine?
Because if so, then we'll have two of them
in this apartment just here's mine.
Private eyes are watching you from a briny place.
I thought briny eyes are watching you.
Oh, that's even better.
It's him.
Damn. Your Holonotes parody abilities are way better than my
briny eyes
Whoa here they come she's a Brian Iyer
Boy anyway, you're saying you're a
Stitch girl briny day
Nobody knows what it's like to be
briny
to be behind
briny's
my briny's girl
lala lala lala lala lala lala
briny eyes
it's the eye of the briner.
It's the eyes in the brine.
And they're sitting in a vat of gross brine.
Do you guys already turn around, brine eyes?
Oh, man.
Where are you not taking part in this tour?
Why don't pretend you're above this,
but clearly you're jonesing to be a part of it.
You're the cool kid standing off by himself,
seeing the nerdy kids dancing, looking dumb, and you're like, I wish I could have fun like them, your Jonesing to be a part of it. You're the cool kid standing off by himself, seeing
the nerdy kids dancing, looking dumb, and you're like, I wish I could have fun like them,
but I just can't do it. I don't admit that. So you interview roommates.
So what are we talking about? I'll pretend that what Dan just said was English. What
are we saying about interviewing roommates? Yeah, I normally show him my brown eyes. Now meanwhile we cut to a police detective who's investigating
played by Sherlock's Moriarty, don't remember his name. Yeah, which is one of the many people
from TV Sherlock who make a appearance in this in this movie. Who's investigating the murdered
Carney who was killed while they were escaping.
Carny Wilson was murdered.
That was very sad.
That's terrible.
One of the carny's was killed by another carny,
but the carnal owner says that this evil hunchback
and this madman who helped him escape did it.
The crop sees through this pretty quickly,
but he still wants to arrest them
because he knows that someone has been stealing animal parts and is using them for nefarious, ungodly purposes.
Yeah, he's a real Godwarp for this guy.
He's really really like Austin 316, this and that.
Austin, he's like, no, you're Roll Frankenstein.
He also has his, the walls of his office are covered in written like grease pencil on glass notes
because it's like steam.
It's going to be a lot of work.
Or a beautiful mind or Sherlock.
It's all stuff we've seen before.
But.
And the guy who plays Moriarty who is playing not Moriarty in this movie is basically reprising
his role.
It's the same.
Andrew Scott.
It's the same performance of life.
Just call him Mority.
Mority, we'll call him Mority.
Like, like, like, monotone delivery.
And the thing is that as much as, you know,
it's funny they's basically reprising his role,
he and the, are two leads, actually fucking go for it.
Like they are not, they're not playing around.
No, they're all actually not a storm.
They're really like, uh.
Daniel Radcliffe after they fix his back
and drain the abscess, it seems like he's like,
well, I still kind of want to play a hunchback.
So I'm going to walk super weird as the movie.
And Daniel Radcliffe, he kind of loses his weirdness,
the movie loses its weirdness as it goes along
which is disappointing.
But James McAvoy is always chewing screenery.
It's the screenery.
It's always chewing screenery.
That's why it's the screenery.
And more areas always chew in the screenery.
And in a movie like this, that's great.
I'm already watching a movie about a 19th century scientist who's trying to bring back
dead bodies.
Like chew it up, go for it.
Be in the tradition of Colin Clive and Basil Rathbone
and all the guys who are not afraid to chew scenery.
Yeah.
And Frankenstein was written like,
Mary Shelley is associated with the romantic poets.
You can be a little bit over the top here, God, it's very, it's very much a, yeah,
like it's a romantic, not, yeah,
we all know how we're using romantic, not to mean love,
but to mean like German romanticism, you know,
high romanticism.
It's a little romantic between Igor
and Victor Frankenstein.
Yeah, it is.
There's some real homerotic tension there.
It's also called friendship. Yeah. It's more of a bromance. They're a little close.
I guess I mean they touch a lot. I feel like there's a there's an undercurrent. There's a there's a
Sizzling undercurrent of electricity. I guess so, but that's fine. I mean, that's in the that's in the source material. Yeah, really actually
It's not well. Igor doesn't exist in the source material. Yeah, but I would, if by a source material, I would say the original Frank and Sinemoo
weeds, I guess, there is not a sexual element there, but there is an element of a relationship
in which there's a dominant and a passive member, you know, and the, that reminds me.
And like old pinheads says, sometimes the lines of pleasure and pain get blurred.
I for a long time ago
I wanted to write a Frankenstein story where a bunch of people get their car breaks down or whatever and
They have to go stay at the Frankenstein castle and things go and Frankenstein wants them to watch his big smirmit
That happens to be the night when he's going to bring the dead back to life and it doesn't work and he goes crazy
And goes on a rampage and tries to kill them
because they've seen him fail.
And in the end, Igor has to like calm him down
and says to them like, just go, this happens all the time.
Like this is, and they're like, why do you stay?
And he's like, I love him, that's why it's stay.
And like, that's the Frankenstein story I always wanted to do.
We're like Frankenstein's just a failure.
And Igor is the one who is really the dominant one in the relationship and allows Frankenstein's
Delusion to continue that he's a scientist
But I don't have the time to write that shit. So I guess I just did deal with it. Somebody else write it out
Yeah, I'm trading my name on it. Say story by Elliot Kaelin. Anyway, the
Let's refer traditional fee of
$7,000. $700,000, please. That's great.
See, I've been working on a screenplay
idea myself where I've just got a nugget.
Okay. Let's hear it. The idea is that, you know,
it's a training scene where you're like,
heroes being trained by his old mentor.
Okay. I don't know to kill vampires or survive the apocalypse.
One of those things.
And, you know, they don't have access to proper training facilities.
So they're like, we got to go train outside in the park.
But they don't want people to see them training out in the park to kill zombies or some shit.
So they have to dress up to look like those crazy guys who perform martial arts in the park.
So people see them and they're like, you know, when you see those guys
you can be like, Lance Adam and you're like, do not make a contact. There's a guy in
prospect. He's got a boom box and he is practicing his kata with this. I don't know warfan
or something. Were you there the day that we saw that time?
Where the guy had a shopping cart full of weapons, including a warfan and a bunch of Saunys throwing knives into the ground who is like 10 feet away from a baby picnic for me.
Yeah, they're so weird.
Imagine a story where he's the hero and he's actually a normal guy.
He just dresses and acts like a weirdo because like this the only way I can train.
If I look normal people with the jig is up.
That's like a crazy person.
Yeah, maybe.
I think I got something.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, I got a couple of good movies. Yeah, it's like our remo Williams type movie. The adventure begins.
Has to continue. Now, by this point, Frankenstein and Igor, they're working together as a team.
They're partners. They're both providing valuable insights and necessary knowledge. They have
gotten to the point where they can bring to shuddering life for a few moments or like an hour.
A horrible, desiccated, half-fleshed chimpanzee corpse with other species sewn to it.
And this is a real creep show of a chimpanzee.
Yeah, imagine like, you know, when they say the joke of like, I shouldn't be. I should not be alive. Well, this is that.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a hilarious joke.
Yeah, yeah, and then he's like,
Wow.
That's a living.
Yeah, that's right.
But like when they first showed it,
I did not realize that was a chimpanzee.
That's how mangled.
No, I just thought it was like a pile of hamburger meat
with teeth.
With electrodes.
And but they managed to make it kind of come to life.
So they say it's time.
We're going to go to the medical college where the stodgy old, funny dutty's won't let me
do my real research.
And we're going to do a demonstration.
And this is another touch that I liked is that it's not in like a huge lecture hall attended
by the professors.
It's like they rented one of the rooms.
And there's seven, there's seven people in the audience.
And it felt very much like,
Victor, they had someone in Times Square
handing out things.
Do you like science?
Do you like science?
You like tamboring in God's domain?
You like it?
You know, we got comedians who appeared
on Comedy Central, tamboring in God's domain here.
It's a small room and even so with that tiny audience,
it looks empty.
Kind of like one of our early
flop house live shows. Oh, that not really always pretty as a customer of those, but it did
remind me of like my early days doing sketch comedy when I was performing in a strip club
for audiences of up to two to three people at midnight.
Or when I was in an improv group that performed in a place that was a yoga studio by day,
and we regularly had more performers on stage
and we had people in the audience.
Classic.
Classic.
So that was kind of a nice touch,
and there's one student there
who's, you can tell he's super rich and super obnoxious.
Yeah, yeah, he's like a Draco mouthful.
Who's like, hurry up, hurry up, I have a coach waiting,
and it looks like it's not working. First he's there to laugh at Victor Frankus, and he's like a dragon mouthful who's like hurry up hurry up. I have a coach waiting and
It looks like it's not working first. Just there to laugh a bit of frank. It's like oh
Victor you two amused with your science It's your failures and incompetence and Igor who at this point we've skipped over the romantic subplot
James Mac of Frankenstein is he because of his wealthy father doesn't approve of him
He's a memory played by Charles dance play by Charles dance and one scene.
He's a man.
I think his contract was like,
I'll only do the movie if I get to show up
and slap James McAflood.
He knows what he did.
They are members of the script Charles,
but I guess you can.
The director goes all along it.
You were supposed to your character is supposed to show up
and give your son a hug,
but I guess we can rewrite it.
What is a slap, but a sharp hug to the cheek.
I suppose Charles Dan's, yeah, why not?
You know, originally, time and land was supposed to be a really nice guy.
And Charles Dan's met George R. Martin.
He said, I might play this character someday and make him a real shit.
What is a slap with a sharp hug?
It's like something an abusive father would say.
I'm hugging you, real hard to the face.
There are members of an exclusive social club where James McAvoy is not taking seriously,
but the Acrobat who has healed from injuries and is now the product like she's been taken
under the wing of a gay aristocrat who uses her as a beard
She meets Igor and that it's love at first
Whatever, you know, and they've slowly become more and more lovey-dovey and he invites her to this exposition
Yeah, he's like you want to see a chimpanzee corpse?
You want to see a gross half-as-ombie monkey shutter around on the table?
He knows we're zapping it with electrodes. He knows what the lady's like.
LL cool ZHC.
Ladies love Cool ZHC.
Now if this movie really wanted to lean into the horror side,
there would have been a moment where she would see
what they've made and how horrible it looks.
And for him to look like, look isn't it great?
Yeah.
Like a moment of stark reality, but now it doesn't do that no instead
why me they show it just seems so worried she's just like like well where they do with that hamburger meat all my eyes maybe like she just has like a stomach
a mouth stomach and they zap it at a bunch of flies come out of it and it looks like their failures until they give it maximum power
and richy rich is heck like them And once they is happy with max power,
it starts breathing and it gets up
and it's running, this chimps zombies
running around, it's screeching to people.
It's like I'm not practical effects anymore.
Now I'm siege and before this point,
there's been a ton of great practical effects.
Like real gross looking zombie bodies.
Yeah, and meat faces.
Brown meat.
And now it's CGI, but it would be hard to be honest, it would be hard to do even with
today's practical effects, like without it costing a ton more money, a realistic look
at zombie champ racing around.
Yeah, it's like even when he was alive, you couldn't get Kenny Baker in there to pilot
the thing.
I mean, they have a maybe Billy Barty.
They have a pretty great zombie champ, Chase, where Daniel Radcliffe is like, there's kind
of a funny moment where the chimp is like running towards the door where like people
are like walking behind it and like Daniel Radcliffe.
No, no, no, no, you can't see our shame.
Because he's so much more worried about embarrassment than he is that this zombie chimp will bite
his face off.
But there's a point where the zombie chimp-
There are multiple points where they're wrestling with it
and it makes me physically disgust.
Because it's so gross.
And here's the Disturac Gordon difference.
It was Disturac Gordon, he would have had a close up
when they're grappling with it.
He would have had close ups of the fingers
sinking into the goopy-like-ish that's made out of.
And pulling their hands away
and there'd be a sticky strand of blues.
You're gonna get me goo.
It would be like when- Sam Rami or Peter Jackson would have done the same.
And the monkey then would have like vomited in someone's mouth and they would have vomited.
Everyone would have vomited like in standby me.
We're like in in hateful ate that one big vomit scene, which is what my wife and I went to see
it in her eyes for clothes during the whole like blood killing stuff. And then there's a part where,
the part where he's just vomiting torrents of blood,
spoiler alert, I don't want to tell you what character.
I went, whoa, and she opened her eyes again,
and then she's shuffling, I was like,
why do you open your eyes and go,
she laughed at it, I thought it was over.
I thought the girl was over because he laughed.
I do know that all of a sudden,
you're like, do you understand me at all?
I've been married for, at that point,
we've been married for five years, come on.
But that's, and I mean, I'm assuming
you guys are the same way, but anytime I see something horribly gross on the screen,
especially in a theater full of people. You left. I totally crack up. I we when we saw
a green room, there were parts where I'm like, Oh, shit. That was it's not even that convincing
an effect. But the first time I saw a taxi driver, when the guy goes, hey, and Travis Peackel
just blows his fingers off, I laughed at that,
because it was like, I don't know how to process this.
That's gross.
I gotta rewind this and watch this thing
like five times in a row.
I got a funny games this and when rewinded,
I didn't watch it again.
But so there's a point, and so she is edge and closer
to the zombie champ.
The zombie champ for a moment is
But her tranquilized by her beauty and then and then snorls and Daniel right cliff for some reason thinks it's a good idea to
throw a
Lamp at it so that the fire forces it to jump towards his love
But it runs out the door and there is a really good kind of chimp grapple chase where Egor's just got a
Rest of this chimp to the ground
and get it to the race.
So don't wrestle a chimp.
Yeah, I mean, that chimp had an Igor on his back.
And get it to the point where
James McAvoy can smash its head in to kill it.
And it was at this point that the movie reached its height.
Like that was the most success,
like the movie was at its height of success.
And from that point on, it just became a pretty boilerplate.
The cops are looking into it further.
They decide they're gonna make a human.
He's mad, James McAvoy is mad that Daniel Radcliffe is spending time with this girl
instead of working on their project.
They interact with the cop, the cop shows up and explains like,
I'm onto you and they're like, you don't have a warrant.
And he's like, I'm gonna go get a warrant because apparently
that's how do you fucking process respect that.
I mean, I don't know anything about 19th century London law,
but I kind of, I don't know that, I mean, maybe it's in the magna carta.
I don't know. They need a warrant.
They're like, in there's this all these 16th century police things where they're like,
open up. You have the jewels holds up up a coffee in the magna carda.
Get a walnut cup up.
You can't search me oval.
Yeah, they've got the fucking Miranda rice.
You have the rights of main silent.
You have the right to a barrister.
If you have no barrister,
then one will be appointed to you.
And at the rich kid is like,
I misjudged you, Frankenstein.
I want you to, I'm gonna fund your work.
I want you to build me an army of these gross chimps.
And army of zombie chimps because that's the closest
I'm ever gonna get to being Danny DeVito
in Batman Returns when he had an army
of penguins with missiles strapped to their backs.
So do this for me, Dr. Frankenstein.
Unfortunately, the police inspector,
even though he was obsessively obsessed with the case,
or because of it, he decides I got to take him down with her doing his blasphemy against God.
And.
Yeah.
Victor Frankenstein was working his lap late one night.
His eyes be held a dreadful site, and it was more already banging on the door trying
to get him to do the most lackadaisical, vattering, ramworks.
That's right.
Now, Igor gets there in the midst of it
because let's just first bang in with his girlfriend.
Which at the end, that's when we realize, why does she have a tattoo on her shoulder?
It's really weird. It feels like a makeup mistake when you're like, uh, let's just leave it.
I guess she was a sailor. She's like, uh, she's like an acrobat. That's kind of a,
that's a saucy profession.
Like that society is just gonna accept her?
Yeah, I don't see that.
It's a weird movie set in 19th century England
that seems to have no sense of the class system of England,
except that some people are rich.
Or legal system as we just say.
Or legal system.
Some people are rich.
Some people aren't as rich.
What are you gonna do?
Also, some people are slaves to circuses. I don't know, but it's what it's classic movie
shorthand. We know that Daniel Radcliffe has had sex because we've seen him with his
shirt off with the girl and the next scene, he's not wearing tie on a hat anymore.
And he's fucking strutting. And he's laid back. Yeah, he is like this guy, this guy's
gotten drained for the first time. Oh boy. He could have basically like snatched an apple off like a passing cart and fucking
jumped on it.
Yeah.
Looks in it looks in it in a shop window and just kind of gives himself a hey nice going
there guy.
You know what I'm just saying what a day it has been.
What a rare mood I'm in.
You don't know.
Yeah, yeah, it's almost like being inside of a woman.
Yeah, exactly.
Anyway, he passes a like a peasant woman that he had peasants back then, right?
Yeah, most of them.
I mean, they didn't call them.
And they like dancing with their first accent and spins.
Yeah.
Oh, by me, Applesa.
Here's a here's a here's 10 Bob.
I don't know how much is that.
Thank you, Sam fights coin runs off
To the Yale house with me
Appalainy the opium did chase the dragon. I want to follow apple and he's story
To the opium
The opium den to play double dragon they got an arcade game there. Oh no, we were the beaky blinders and the bobo's
And so Igor gets there and he's like, huh he gets in through the secret trap door because everywhere that this movie takes place
There's always a secret trap door in the in the below a circus tent
There's a secret trap door that they escape through in the lab. There's a secret trap door that leads to their like organ freezer
And so later there's a There's a secret trapdoor that leads to their like organ freezer.
And so later, there's a castle with a secret trapdoor. Anyway, and he says to James McAvoy,
we got to get out of here. James McAvoy goes, no, I'm going to destroy my equipment.
Then I'll escape. No one's going to have it. Moriarty breaks in. They have a fight in
the middle of it. James McAvoy manages to stick Moriarty's hands, which will be some gears
thus destroying the hands and sparks blind have been one eye.
That's pretty great.
And, but it's one of those weird things where it was like,
did they think, because like, young Frankenstein
takes off of son of Frankenstein,
where there's a police officer who has a wooden arm
because the monster toured off of him when he was a child.
Did they feel like they had to nod to that?
Like, well, of course, it's part of the established
Frankenstein canon now that there's a police
officer with a wooden arm.
I don't know.
That just goes without saying.
I feel like the process of convergent evolution, did they just get, like, is it a wink
to that or is it not?
I think it's a wink, because I feel like there were a lot of winks to like Frankenstein
to pass movement.
Yeah, there's even a point where the the acrobat calls Frankenstein, Frankenstein,
and he cries.
He has a joke.
Yeah, that's true.
Although I'm disappointed if the people
who made this know that the young
Frankenstein.
Yeah, and I thought that was the movie.
They were rebooting.
I don't if you're gonna, if you're
gonna have a scene where a kind of bad guy
gets his hands stuck between some gears
and it gets mangled off.
Like why not do at least one shot of that thing
squirt and blood and bones and crap?
Well, yes, show us the mangling.
And then going, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
like a real face, with a one long spur
to blood coming out of it.
Yeah, that's a Taylor though.
It's a good one.
That's great.
That's all I want.
Like, even fucking romancing the stone has that.
Yeah.
Even romancing the stone.
Which otherwise is the pinnacle of special effects?
So I understand.
Which otherwise what is this?
This one, is the titlump movie.
Yeah.
Well, it's a rom through a tea room.
Even my dinner with Andre.
Yes.
But I guess Flash forward a little bit.
They're at the rich guy's house and the rich kid says,
my family is a castle.
Go there, I'll set you up, make me a monster man.
And Igor's like, I don't wanna do that.
Igor's also found out that the original Igor,
Frank and Stein froze his body and took his eyes
for that eye experiment.
And Igor's like, you took his eyes and it's like, dude,
where did you think he got a pair of human eyes
for his experiment?
He had to take them out of a human head.
He didn't mold him out of clay.
Yeah.
He went down to the eye store for the new eye bone.
He could go in.
He couldn't go in.
I don't know, he was trying to vamp.
He couldn't go down to the eye works
and new Los Angeles of Blade Runner
and order a bunch of eyes for Mr. Chuoo, whatever his name was. But, uh, they, so he,
so they split their ways. This is the part and Shrek, where Shrek and the donkey get mad at
each other and go their separate paths for reasons. And, uh, so Igor, I guess he's just hanging
and banging on his girlfriend. No, the rich guy throws a bag over his head.
Oh, you know too much, we're gonna check you in the water.
I forgot about that.
The rich guy tries to kill Igor, Igor escapes.
Yeah, because he's a circus guy.
So he knows how to escape from being a little water.
He's stupidly stigress.
That's what happens to a circus guy every day.
You learn that stuff.
He's a stage artist.
He's a Mr. Miracle.
He says, I got a Warren Victor
that this rich kid's probably gonna kill him and take his
technology which at this point
not the most marketable now all you can able to show is that you can turn
perfectly dead chimpanzees into maniac monster zombie chimpanzees again not on the
open market
i don't know how much that's worth so they go to the castle
and they have to evade the police because even though the inspector has been kicked off the force.
He was kicked off the force due to improperly filing paperwork.
And because he has this crazy wooden hands now with individual fingers as if he's going to be able to move it like ash in
In the army darkness style. Yeah, or maybe just wants to have a hand that he can pose for life drawing.
Good thing. Yeah, or he wants to be able to flip people the bird.
So he needs individually articulated things.
Yeah, he's like, hold on, let me, hold on.
It's like curls, you're finger down individually.
He's like, give me a second.
What's the hand symbol for RIPM from No Holds Barred,
the Hollywood movie?
Uh, so Igor has to evade the cops.
He gets to the castle.
It's the night of the big experiments. Yeah, it's night of the big prom.
And he's where it doesn't have a date.
I don't know.
Yeah, it's two dates actually.
It has to rush back and forth the way he did.
Oh, and one of them's a real monster.
Literally.
Now, I couldn't, I can't remember how much time
is supposed to have elapsed.
I guess he had to recover.
So that's given Dr. Frankenstein time to like get his stuff together.
Get an army of goons.
Because at the castle, he has got a huge staff of people.
They have, it's enormous, all these electrodes.
There's an open fire pit for some reason.
Because I guess Hephaestus was working on the project.
Or maybe once they brought the monster to life,
they were gonna celebrate with s'mores.
I don't know.
They're all wearing steam punk leather gear,
wandering around.
Some people just have goggles and leather aprons.
Some people have like full leather face masks.
Like, uh... Like kind of like a copper commander when he's not wearing the silver face. Some people just have goggles and leather aprons. Some people have like full leather face masks like like
Kind of like a copper commander when he's not wearing the silver face. Yeah kind of. Yeah, it's a little it's like a cross between the really scary
Place in that David Lynch one minute long movie I recommended a while ago. Premanition of a
son of a
Yeah, I'm a nation of a shit. Something with a crime. Yeah.
But anyway, but I can't really remember how to name it.
And it's or like they've wandered into
every bad guy's layer from every Hellboy story.
Yep.
Where it's like a castle with like a bunch of electrodes
and guys and leather masks.
And a head floating around in a suspenser chamber.
Yeah, going like,
I'm going to like, I'm going to like,
I'm going to like,
I'm going to be a fucking robot gorilla around the next corner. And at some point, because my video I'm in the back. I'm in the back. I'm in the back. I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back.
I'm in the back. I'm in the back. I'm in the back. I'm in the back. I'm in the back. uh... it's very elaborate egor manages to sneak in and find stock frank stein says your rich buddies crazy is gonna kill you when this is all done
you this isn't you you're not crazy
which ignores all the evidence we've seen throughout the entire movie
which shows us he is a crazy madman who wants to bring people back to life
there's a whole back story about his brother died to saving him from some snow
that's why he wants to balance the
charts and the movie tries for a moment to have a,
have this epiphany where Igor has, you know, is remembering something that Dr.
Frankenstein said about, and like a story that involves his brother dying and he draws some kind
of correlation. And then when he relates this analogy or the story to Frankenstein, Frankenstein's like, no, you drew the wrong conclusion,
which is a fun device.
Like that reminds me of there was an issue of preacher
where somebody was like, oh, you felt this way
because of this thing and the guy's like,
that's not true.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, you're dead.
Ever since I saw this dead girl in this massacre
and oh, and you wanted to protect people like that.
What was it like? No, I thought it was stupid.
Yeah.
Classic Garthin.
Whatever, I don't know what hair star says.
No, I know.
Yeah, I mean, you flush out that story better than I did.
But I mean, it felt a little bit.
But here in the movie, it was basically like,
it was not so different.
Yeah, the two stories, you want to stop people
from having to feel pain about death.
No, no, no.
I want to atone for my brother's death.
Okay, that's not that different.
You would have-
I'm by balancing the scale.
It would have been, the way I would have done it is,
I mean, it is that, it wouldn't have gotten to that point anyway.
But I wouldn't much better, sorry Max Landis,
you've written many more screenplays than me, but whatever.
But the way what I would have done at that point is he would have said,
I know you, your brother died and you blame yourself and you don't want other people to go to that pain
and him to be like, what? My brother was weak. My brother is dead.
I don't want that to happen to me to be weak like him. I want to be strong. I want to come back.
So I'm going to do, I'm going to bring back as many other people as it takes so that I
never have to die.
And then he, like that, he's crazy.
And that's a real misreading of it that like, oh, you think I feel sad that my brother died.
I just pity him.
That's pathetic.
He was older than me.
He should be cooler than me.
Literally he was cooler than me.
He died of hypothermia in the snow, saving me.
And it's like, dude, check yourself.
I don't care.
You're splitting hairs, Victor.
Keep going with your story.
And I apologize, Tanger, anyway,
and especially in my big moment.
But here's the thing, I was like,
this guy who I looked up to, he's so uncool, he died.
You know what, cool people never die.
Michael Jackson, he's gonna live forever.
And he goes like, I got some bad news for him.
Ooh, he's dead now.
Well, that's,
but David Bowie, surely.
David Bowie is super cool.
He can't even be held by gender.
Certainly mortality is milking.
Sorry, it happens to everyone.
But Prince, of course, he's the,
I got so much, you've really been working
on this project for a long time.
You really missed a lot of the news,
but Kurt Cobain, I really would have thought you'd heard of that one. No, that's...
That's a little taste of some of the stuff we lost for the DC show.
Oh yeah, that's right. We've got to wait the big bopper.
That was somehow before you were born, even though this is the 19th century.
But please tell me the big bopper buddy Holly and Richie Valens are still with us.
It's interesting that you chose those three specifically.
But what about the members of Leonard Skinner
that didn't survive the plane crash?
That's the way that's right.
I mean, do you not know their names?
Is that why you referred to them that way?
Kind of, kind of breaking the conceit here.
If you know they died.
Oh, brother. I'm gonna list off some names to you. kind of kind of breaking the conceit here. If you know they died. Brother.
I'm gonna list off some names to you.
Tom McCartney, George Harrison.
No, dead, dead.
McCartney's still with us.
Oh, sorry, I was.
I meant, I meant,
don't, unless,
you know what,
between us recording this and it gets released.
Tom McCartney died.
I wish this all felt terrible.
I meant to say John Lennon,
look, listen to this episode 30 years from now.
He's bound to be dead by then.
Oh, bro. Oh, boy.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I mean, a hundred years old.
I apologize, Dan.
You know what? For saving Paul McCartney and my world from the fate of being a decrepit old,
just shambling thing made a bags of bones occasionally playing the mandolin.
Yep. By then, I'll have his wings, enjoy wings.
Anyway.
That was the stupidest yoga made tonight.
Oh my dad doesn't even like that.
He said, Pomecarni is here.
That's what his living will, it just says that.
Well, Pomecarni is technically brain dead.
We could keep his body alive on these machines.
Let's check his life care plan.
Just as live and let die.
It's pretty confusing, Paul.
Really don't know.
So do you want to let us die?
Do you want to let us let you die?
And you want to live, really?
Shit, I'm in clear.
So that's right here.
Well, I'm not sure if he's saying here
this ever changing world in which we're living
or in which we live in.
One is redundant and one is not you gotta be clear with us are ball
and this is just weird where it says admiral halsey notified me had to have a drink or have a cup of tea
something about a butter pie butter pie butter what a melts reported in the pie is that that's the accident that led to being in this coma
i think i have to wear it a bit wrong, but you get the idea.
Hands across the water.
Who cares?
Anyway, so there's a big showdown and a throwdown.
They managed to bring the monster who they name Prometheus to life.
And guess what?
He's a dumb monster who's just pushing things over.
The policeman rushes in, tries to shoot and kill him.
The monster doesn't like that.
Chokeslam.
Starts choke slamming everybody, kills the inspector, everybody's dying everywhere.
Is explosion or anything?
Everybody's dying.
There's a ton of overloaded circuits.
At some point, Mark Gattis gets exploded.
Mark Gattis, who is in a non-speaking role.
He's a glorified extra.
Yeah, yeah.
And Stuart was so excited every time.
I got so excited when he came out.
You know, like a major character.
Yeah.
He had a great mustache. Oh, of course, a major character. Yeah. He had a great mustache.
Oh, of course he had a great mustache.
He had a great everything, Dan.
It ends up that just being the only people alive
left alive are, the only lovers left alive
are Igor, Dr. Frankenstein and the monster.
And let's just say this,
this movie had set a bar for grossness.
And they really, they wanna make it a big reveal
when you see the monster for the first time.
And this monster did not cut it.
Yeah, it was the...
Super generic.
Super generic, like this was the monster,
this was the Frankenstein's monster you see
in front of the Halloween store.
No, not even in front of the Halloween store.
They put the good one in front of the Halloween store.
This is the one you see in the back of the Halloween store
where they're like, if anyone gets back here
They're gonna see more Halloween stuff
So we'll put this super generic Frankenstein's monster that just it kind of has a flat-ish head and it's kind of like got bolts and stuff
And you go to see it and there's a guy waiting by there and like I know it's never very scary
But think about it. He's got two hearts. Yeah, that's what they also they made it or lungs
They made it with two hearts and four lungs two of hearts
Which I thought,
or lungs.
Stuart and Elliot were talking about comics,
so they missed it,
but I thought there was a pretty funny moment where like,
I wouldn't just tell my connoisseur,
I don't know about profit.
It was a great comic.
They thought that the, that the Frankenstein's Monster
was dead.
And Victor Frankenstein was like,
Igor, two hearts.
And he asked his dad,
I think it was a second heart. That's a pretty good moment pretty good joke
Well, I didn't realize that Mark Gattis' character has a name
What is it greener? It's called awesome mustache. Devin Wiler. Wow, but
So he so everyone is
Relatively happily they there's a it ends with being a big fight between
and relatively happily. There's a, it ends up being a big fight between
Dr. Frank Stein Egor and the monster,
and that is a good joke that they like stab it through the heart
but then it's got another heart that's still living.
But it's another one where suddenly
they have superhuman, superman fighting skills
and it's like, oh, so this monster's not really that scary
if two dudes, one of whom only learned to walk normally
a few months ago can just defeat
it.
But his knowledge of the human or monster anatomy is so good that that thing's just screwed.
He's like four or five moves ahead.
Yeah, yeah, it's a master chest.
And so they all they survive.
The girl shows up in the middle of the wreckage the next morning, takes a eagor away and
has a note that Dr. Frankenstein wrote him where Dr. Frankenstein says, you'll always be my greatest creation, Igor.
We'll friends, you know what?
We may, we should part for a little while.
Be a best.
But I'm going to, I may need your help again sometime in the future.
Until then, I remain.
And then the title, Victor Frankenstein comes up.
Oh, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Slide on sunglasses.
See us on Miami.
I do love that he's like, I may need your help in the future
and it cuts to him looking at a like a crude drawing
of a head with the top cut off
and it's his brain like an arrow.
There's an arrow pointing at a brain, it's his brain.
Like he was like,
oh, right, that's what I forgot.
Brain goes in the head.
I put it in the butt.
That's why it was so dumb.
There is a moment where he sees the monster
for the first time and he's like,
I did it brother, I brought you back
and he sees no spark of intelligence in this being.
And he's like, no, this isn't life.
And it was like, what did you think you were making, dude?
Like, like he was gonna start drinking tea and talking.
Like, at the very least, he is a baby
with the body of a giant, you know.
That's best case scenario.
You're gonna have to teach him how to talk.
He's a bad job.
I'm a coach.
Yeah, perfect analogy.
It's pretty rough, but we're running super long again.
Let's, sorry, so final judgments.
Let's do final judgments.
Is this a good, bad movie?
Wait, hold on.
Is this totally, terrifying?
Thank you.
Is it totally snorifying?
Or is it frighteningly funny?
Stuart, what do you have to say?
Where's categories they never...
So there's a chance that this movie
is gonna be frighteningly funny.
But it ended up being snorifying.
The first half an hour is all right.
And then it just kind of falls apart
and gets really boring.
I don't say this a lot,
but the fact that there's only one woman with a speaking role
just seemed weirdly more pronounced in this specific movie.
I don't know,
I've barely had any personality.
Yeah, it was just so,
it was such a...
Actually, it was pretty Dan, that was the personality.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know,
I mean, I don't know what could have saved this movie,
but yeah, not a great movie.
Might as well just not have a female character in it.
Kind of, yeah.
I mean, it was like by including one, it highlighted how unnecessary and just token she was.
Yeah.
Like Glen Gary, Glen Ross is shit.
Just make it a bunch of angry guys yelling at each other in a high pressure situation.
Get Al Pacino, Kevin Spacey, Ed Harris, the late Jack Lemon.
And it feels like Alan Arkin, Jonathan Price,
I was a Jeffrey Price, that's not his name.
Alec Baldwin, for a scene written just for the movie,
not in the original playlist.
I think Frankenstein.
I think Paul Rudd.
Yeah, nope. Gonna say, Negatory to that one. movie, not in the original play, Glenn Garry. I think Frankenstein. I think Paul Rudd. Yeah.
Nope.
Gonna say, Negatory to that one.
No, there's that black and non-speaking role.
Deck just had in, and he winked.
Yeah.
So I just got to go.
Yeah.
Got to go be a kid right now.
It feels like she was included.
And a couple of the characters seem like they're included,
exclusively to force very brief discussions of like
the metaphysical and ethical ramifications of trying to bring a dead body back to life.
Yeah. In conversations that felt pretty out of place for like, oh, you're an acrobat,
you know a lot about like, you know a lot about morals and stuff. I mean, don't limit her.
You're okay. I guess right. But I would say this was a movie,
not to go by our dumb,
shocked over ratings.
What dumb, sir?
Sir.
I apologize.
Sir.
Not to go for our shitty,
shocked over ratings.
This is the first, like, 30, 40 minutes.
This was, I was like,
this is gonna be a movie I kind of like.
It's not great,
but I'm enjoying this as kind of like a crazy, gross spin on the Frankenstein
story, and then it just became snorrifying.
Like around the time that, when that zombie chimp died, the movie spirit died with it.
You know, I have enough goodwill from the first hour of this movie, the zombie chimp
hour of this movie, to give it a marginally, totally terrifying.
Because it's not scary. terrifying because it's not scary.
No, it's not scary.
Scarefying just means quality is what you're saying.
Yeah.
I mean, it was certainly better than I Frankenstein,
which was a piece of garbage.
We even when it gets boring, it's still kind of fun
because the actors are so good and like, there's stuff like,
we didn't even get into the fact that the,
the, the, uh, Moriarty character basically just, just dies by getting like slammed into a big like, stuff like we didn't even get into the fact that the the more
he already character basically just just dies by getting like slammed into a big
like electrode where the he gets like he's like swings into where the
Frank inside monster had been like throws a matter from the ceiling. Yeah,
and he gets lightning applied and the last it's like point your like
hooray he can be with his wife. Yeah, yeah
That's a happy ending for him. There's a movie where every well the main three characters all have like a dark backstory
And it's have to bring it up like it's the police detective as a dead wife
Frank is not as a dead brother. I wish there was less backstory
Just have the characters do what they're doing doing We don't need to know it all but I wish there's like that stretch between zombie champ and the god or dumber rung at the end where
Everything goes to balls like but that long stretch really
Kills it, but then it picks up energy at the end. Yeah, if that Frankenstein monster had had a more interesting design
Then the ending might have saved it for me
Yeah, if it was like some lumbering disgusting thing,
I would have been like, oh, this movie's back.
They brought it back from the dead with lightning and grist stuff.
And then Igor pulls out a whip
and he basically becomes Simon Belmont
from the Castlevania series and he slashes open his guts
and then like a second baby Frankenstein comes out of the guts.
And it's like,
and it's like,
and now it's now it's three men and a baby.
And they got a feeling like we're lightning in a bottle and then give it to
I'm Jesse I'm Jordan and we've been doing Jordan Jesse go for almost 10 years now
And it's not gotten any easier to describe so we asked our fans to do it for us.
Jordan Jesse Go is a weekly conversation with two best pals, two hilarious friends,
the hilarious smart kids talking about hilarious stuff that happens to them.
We're mostly really stupid stuff.
Aquaradanie Go, insane tangents, heartfelt stuff.
It's like being thrown in the middle of a hilarious conversation between you and your best
pals.
It's a show that makes me laugh every week, which is pretty rare and wonderful.
It might be the best thing on the internet.
One of the funniest things you will hear.
And it's the best part of my week and has kept me company for the past seven years through
all sorts of lights.
I love those guys.
That's Jordan Jessie Go, the comedy podcast
that's been named Best of iTunes.
Every Monday on MaximumFun.org,
or your favorite podcasting software.
I love you and kiss you and love you.
Love you.
Love you, love you.
We got to move on.
Do we have to?
And by moving on, I mean, we have slowly unfolding
a piece of paper, a couple of
slower of advertisers, maybe unfold them before the show, really unfolding those
papers still. Well, now you're just taking my time. And will you keep them a secret
from us? Is that why they're folded up? It's a October surprise.
The surprise is the flop house is supported in part by Mac Weldon.
Oh, what?
I'm wearing a Mac Weldon undershirt right now.
I had a big meeting today and I wanted to feel my best.
That's why you look so confident.
Thank you.
I wore my Mac Weldon undershirt and I didn't feel anywhere near as sweaty and gross as I
do in my other undershirts.
I have my Mac Weldon underwear on.
My Mac Weldon, that's why you look so super confident too, Dan.
Look, guys, Mac Weldon believes in smart design, premium fabrics, and simple shopping.
And it's certainly very simple.
Scanning, scanning.
It was just the, you really launched into that ad coffee strong and then kind of full of
Barack Obama.
Quarring.
Quarring.
Quarring.
Buffering.
That welding it believes in smart design and easy
shopping, buffering.
Buffering.
I was trying to remember my Mac welding
shopping experience.
That was what the buffering was, but the thing is,
the fact that I can't remember it suggests that it was
very easy.
It was super simple easy.
You put a bunch of underwear in your cart,
and you pay for it, you get it and you wear it,
and you're like, this is super comfortable.
I feel a lot less sweaty and gross.
And I can wear it all day,
even longer than normal underwear.
I mean, I take it off ever.
Treat yourself.
They want you to be comfortable.
So if you don't like your first pair,
you can keep it and they will refund you. No question asked. And you know, you
keep that underwear because, you know, no one wants to use underwear. You know, when I said
that stuff back, yeah, yeah. Any machines full of it in Japan. That's true. So the legend goes.
Macoldons underwear. Socks and shirts are good for all sorts of things,
working out, going to work, going on dates,
just everyday life.
They look good, ladies like the way that men look in them.
Mm-hmm.
And men like it.
And men like to.
Men like them.
Men like the way they look.
I mean, my only experience is with ladies,
so I'm sure men like them too.
If you wanna look a little bit out.
If you wanna look a little bit out.
I'm pretty early on, I knew what I was into. All right. There's no judgment there, it's just like, men like them too. If you want to look good in college.
I'm pretty early on, I knew what I was into. There's no judgment there. It's just like,
hey, certain times I'm music, I don't like either. Go ahead and listen to it. I don't care,
but it's just not my thing. Just checking out. I listen to a lot of Reagan.
He's like a virgin, can that armor? I listen to a lot of Reagan.
I like our chance. My son really likes Bob Marley. So we end up listening to a lot of
Bob Marley in the house.
Now I'm developing a taste for it I never had before.
Maybe if my son is gay, I'll start being into dudes, I don't know.
Yeah, you want to have something to talk about around the old fire.
I mean, one of the great things about having children is that their interests open up new
worlds for you.
Maybe that involves man on man, I don't know.
Yeah, and the moral of all this
Back well done. Bye. Well done. Go to Macwellton.com and get 20% off using the promo code
Plop Get ready to wear the best underwear you've ever worn you want to
Talk to us about Casper mattresses. I would love to now. We're also supporting part by Casper the online retailer of premium mattresses
For a fraction of the price that you'd pay in the store for a non-premium mattress.
It's obsessively engineered.
They have obsessed over the engineering, much like Dr. Frankenstein, obsessed over bringing
life back from the dead.
Except instead of tampering in God's domain, tampering in your bedroom's domain, and I think
you're going to like the tampering that they did.
It's a shockingly fair price.
Now, Dan, you have more personal experience
with Casper mattresses than I do.
I do have a Casper mattress.
It's a delight for sleeping on and sleeping on.
And dot, dot, dot, tell us less.
Sleeping on.
Yeah.
Whether you're sleeping out of tiredness
or sleeping out of depression,
Casper mattresses.
Go to those things I have experience with.
Now, there's a risk-free trial and turn policy.
Try sleeping on it for 100 days.
Use your Casper mattress for 100 days.
That's slightly more than three months.
And you know what, if you don't like it, it's free delivery and painless returns.
The mattresses are made in America by Americans, so you know, it's both high quality and patriotic.
And it's $500 for twin size mattress, $950 for a king size mattress.
That is, excuse me, that is a lot less than I paid for my current mattress, which makes me mad
that I didn't wait for Casper to exist.
Because when I bought my mattress, Casper didn't exist yet.
And they send it to you in a box and it pops out when you open up the box, right?
And you'll like the day.
Like Erica, like I was talking to her.
Under siege, it pop right out.
Um yep.
Not again, I don't really.
This is a certain.
Like that reference.
Yeah references these days.
No, it's not it's just a it's just a it's just a reference.
It's not.
I mean, it is the most paused part of under siege.
All right.
Video rent.
Uh, now, Flawhouse listeners get a special offer.
It's $50 toward any mattress purchase
by visiting www.casper.com slash flop
and using the promo code flop when you check out.
Now again, that's www.casper.com slash flop.
Use the promo code flop.
That's $50 off of your mattress.
It's already a low price.
Now, if you're gonna be even lower, try it for 100 days.
You don't like it, send it back. Term terms and conditions apply. I don't know what that means
You'll have to do the work on that one for listeners
But now that all the businesses taking care of who we can get on to letters from listeners listeners like you question mark
Maybe listen to lighter
If you did this could be your letter. Letters from Lister's Uncharted over. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Who writes? Hello, I'm a pretty recent listener, but I love your show and have been burning through your back catalog at about two episodes a day
That's a lot. I was so excited when I saw you guys it finally broken down or reviewed nothing but trouble with the great John Hodgman
No less. I have a bit of a weird perspective on that movie. I had never seen it until a few years back and my girlfriend
Excitedly picked up a DVD copy out of a department store at clearance bin and insisted we watch it that night
Come to find out this film is a favorite of her family copy out of a department store, clearance bin, and insisted we watch it that night.
Come to find out this film is a favorite of her family.
Just to some families get together and watch, it's a wonderful life for a Christmas story.
The last name with Helds gather around the TV and delight in nothing but trouble, laughing
heartily to each other, and courting their favorite lines later at the dinner table.
It's quite a thing to experience.
Their miniature train bedecked dinner table,
where they eat huge fruit of Frank's.
You know, when I read this email for the first time,
I imagined the same thing.
We lived in nothing but trouble lifestyle.
I hope you'll be a part of it.
It's quite a thing to experience being the only one
in a room full of people who doesn't think
nothing but trouble is a cinema classic.
So he's dating Dan Acroix's daughter, as soon as.
Yeah, well, he says from this upbringing, you might be imagining my girlfriend turning out to be a dangerous lunatic.
But oddly enough, she and her whole family are otherwise quite pleasant and normal.
I'm trying to imagine what lines from that movie they're quoting.
I mean, it's basically just what those two little crazy baby characters you're talking about, right?
Yeah, bad boy in Toons's Bowl or whatever their names are.
Little devil.
Little devil and, and,
beles a baby.
Yeah, I would normally
advise you to break up with this person immediately, but
study this person.
No, yeah, you've got a one,
but front row, one way ticket to the rarest of all breeds, a plan of nothing but
troubles in the wild.
So yeah, find out what they like about it so much.
Yeah, report back, observe them, take notes, be wary because when you study monsters,
be worried that you may become one.
I think Dylan Thomas said that. No. because when you study monsters, the worried that you may become one.
I think Dylan Thomas said that.
No.
So many errors.
Dear Dan,
salacious stew and exuberant Elliott.
I'm, I don't get a nickname.
Apparently, oh dear Dan.
Yep.
Salacious stew is like,
dear Dan.
It's on Janna's tail.
I'll take it.
Yeah.
This past weekend,
Stanley wrote us this letter. I, this past weekend, I went to see Scarface with the flop cult.
I've assembled here in New Zealand based on your teachings.
Although I'd obviously seen clips of the movie before, I'd never watched the whole thing.
Now, which from context can tell which Scarface is this?
Is this the original Howard Hawks or is this the later one?
From context, I believe it's the later one.
I'm assuming.
Based on...
I'm as a philosopher, I assume nothing.
Although I'd obviously seen clips of the movie before, I'd never watched the whole thing
in its entirety.
And what amazed me most about it was how many hundreds of references to and parodies
of Scarface, I've seen in my life.
Okay, so it's the later one.
No parodies the first one.
Exactly what they're from.
Do you think Scarface is the most reference
for parodies in a movie of all time?
What would be the other contenders?
What movie have you watched them make you go?
Oh, so that's what that is.
Hope you're all well, Drey last name with El.
I would put Wizard of Oz and Cain is pretty up there.
I would put Wizard of Oz and the Godfather
as the two I can think of that
I feel like I've seen parody the most the Godfather was definitely one of those ones where as a kid I saw references to like the horse head in the bed
I knew about long before I ever saw the movie because there were jokes for it everywhere and
Like all the a lot of the lines and in things like Marlon Brando's performance it actually took me a long time to not think of as a joke
Because I had seen parodies of it and other things.
Yeah, those are good ones.
I mean, and probably like Smurfs 2
or like that Alvin the Chipmunks Road Chip movie,
that's been paried in a lot, right?
I saw the part of our culture, you know?
Yeah, it's part of the language.
Part of the shared heritage.
Yeah.
The oral tradition.
I saw the Bobo episode of The Sentence
before I saw Citizen Kane.
And so it was a much richer experience.
Once I knew that the whole episode was pretty much a great
parody of Citizen Kane.
Although Citizen Kane doesn't end with a robotic citizen
Kane in the future, a monkey future taking his sled.
Maybe it would have been a success if it had.
Now, I remember it took me a long time to realize that silence
of the hams was a parody of silence of the lambs.
He thought it was just a great Tom DeLouise vehicle.
I was like, Dom's done it again.
Tom DeLouise, more like Tom DeLouise laughs.
Now on the other hand, you've got a movie like Airplane, which at this point has completely
surpassed the movies that it was parodying in terms of cultural relevance and people
remembering it.
And now you see references to Airplane,, whereas airplane was very closely parodying,
what's your name?
Zero hour.
Yeah, and the idea of the airport movie.
Do you think the scary movie guys
were really kind of shooting for that
with their trilogy?
Maybe.
I mean, if they had been like,
you know what,
some day people were gonna think
scream was a rip off of us.
Like they made a thought that.
Our movie that features a guy getting impaled
through the head with a penis through the year.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, the way you describe it, it sounds really good.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
It's a Kashyemeake directed it,
we'd be like, that's great.
Gotta go see it.
What not, who are?
This one is from Adam Laszman with Hell,
who writes,
Hey, Elliott slash Stewart slash Adam.
The first man also known as Frankenstein's Monster.
I mean, what is God but the original doctor, Frankenstein?
Elliott Stewart Dan.
Can we really say that the real man that God created
has done that much better than Frankenstein's Monster?
No, just an idiot raging at an unforgiving camp.
We're just violent idiots shambling around punching stuff for no reason.
Yeah.
Hey, Elliott Stewart Dan, in order of what I assume is your interest in Kaiju films.
Uh, yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
Anyways, I have a couple of questions for you.
Number one, I have a big of questions for you. Number one, I have big, God.
That's a guide you've been.
Everyone, I have a big Godzilla fan
and having recently relistened to your old episodes.
Now do you mean you're a big fan of Godzilla
or your fan of when Godzilla's big
and not that Marvel comic storyline reshroomed down?
Or you're a fan who is big, who enjoys Godzilla.
Yeah, like you're a little boy who casts a spell on yourself
and you're gonna fuck some old lady.
Yeah.
Old lady.
I mean, I guess she was a little...
Okay, chill out.
I'm saying old Al.
Well, that's dangerous.
Well, that's dangerous.
He was a fucking little boy, man.
A little boy, man.
Exactly.
He was an apthascriptor.
Uh, I'm...
What's the name of the machine, they found?
Uh, it's not Zardos. I keep wanting to say Zardos.
I was about to say Jombie, but I think that's wrong.
Zool?
Zoltan.
That's what it is.
So, man, big, ambiguous sentence again.
I'm a big Godzilla fan.
Okay.
And having...
...tapled that one.
Recently, we listened to your old episodes.
I have heard Elliott make quite a few references to the old Godzilla movies, like specifically the almost incomprehensible moral
message of Godzilla 2000 being that there's a little bit of Godzilla in all of us.
Oh, beautiful. As he's destroying the city.
Yeah, they look happily on.
It's wonderful. It's a great thing.
And he has just defeated an alien invader easy.
I know, but the kid fighting.
But still. The guy and the kid like looking on.
He goes, why is Godzilla always saving us as he's burning
down his city? That's his right.
Is right after killing the time he's the protector and Oh, and
shepherd of this earth.
Now I have to ask all three of you, which is your favorite
Godzilla movie? The original 1954 Kojira 1956 Godzilla King of the Monsters is off the table because
everyone loves that one.
Number two question.
The Adventure Zone crossover is one of my favorite episodes that you guys have done.
Now I let know your levels of experience with D&D are different between the three of you.
Stewart reigns supreme here, but what are your favorite classes to play?
I look forward to hearing your responses
and whatever humorous tanges they lead to.
Well, don't put too much pressure on us.
Come on, dude, you don't can't, I asked for it,
now it's not gonna happen.
Adam, last name with hell.
It's like going into date and you're like,
I'm looking forward to the sex we'll have tonight.
It's like, well, you just made it not gonna happen.
And if it does happen, it's gonna be mechanical
and workman-like.
Yeah, because you're going out with a robot, dude.
Because I consider this sex that I'm giving you, sir, as payment for the Olive Garden you put in my belly.
Wow. I'm pretty mercenary when it comes to dating, Dan.
I'm like, go Sal of Garden.
Maybe.
You're here, your family, and when I'm here, it's just to get some sweet bread,
sweet, butter, and butter.
When you're here, Carbo load the book right above.
When you're here, you're a prostitute. Yeah.
My favorite Godzilla movies, I'll just get right off the bat of the modern era.
Godzilla Final Wars is super fun. There's a little bit too much fighting between humans
and humanoid aliens, where it's just matrix style martial arts. Some of that is good.
It goes a little too far. And I like that the morality of that movie is also weird
and then it seems to end with Godzilla and Minya
forgiving America for dropping the atomic bomb on Japan,
not something they really have the right to do.
But when I was a kid, for some reason,
I really loved terror of mecha Godzilla,
which has Godzilla, mecha Godzilla, and Titanosaurus.
And I don't know, it's not particularly good
for some reason I really liked it a lot as a kid.
I don't really have a wide experience.
So I saw Godzilla 2000 in the theaters
and I had a ball.
So I'm gonna go with that because I don't have,
like as I said, a big frame of reference.
Although non-Godzilla Kaiju,
I enjoy watching the mystery science
theater episodes of the camera.
The camera, yeah. There's a, this is New Godzilla movie that's coming out that looks like
it could be really good. Yeah, but what are you going to say to?
I'm also going to, I'm going to pick a non-Godzilla Kaiju movie. I was a sucker for Mothra
for some reason growing up. I don't know if it was those little girls that are seeing
in the movie. I still call that a Godzilla movie.
It's in the Godzilla verse.
But what I would also like to recommend is if you like Kaiju
and you like comics,
run, don't walk to your local comic shop
and pick up the comic book Kaiju Max by Zander Cannon.
I'm a huge fan.
It manages, it's a story about Kaiju
in a world where Kaiju are kept on a prison island.
So it manages to be very cartoony and colorful, but also a very dark prison drama feature.
It's a pretty harrowing prison story.
It's a pretty, yeah, exactly.
And the writing manages to fit a lot of fun jokes and references to Kaiju movies and
monsters and stuff like that.
It's Andrew Cannon's a great artist movies and monsters and stuff like that.
It's Andrew Cannon's a great artist.
Oh, and he's great.
So, if you get a chance, go check that out.
And it's pretty, I think the first trade is only 10 bucks.
But the second question was, what are your favorite classes to play in D&D?
And I don't know that Ellie and I have much to say about that.
To me, D&D is dinosaurs and diners. That's what I grew up with.
So, Stu, you take this one.
So LA, it's obviously loves playing Bards. He loves having Caesar talking saying that's pretty obvious. I didn't play a druid. I think I would want to play a rogue. Maybe your druid could
become a rogue. He became a bit of a rogue in a upcoming episode that we won't talk about because we're just teasing
it now. But his personality would have went a radical shift.
Very approach shift.
Have way through the adventure.
Perhaps he's finding that mystery that he's searching for, that dark mystery of the
universe.
I would say I really like playing, really like playing paladins,
because I like playing,
I have a tendency to like playing really strong,
really charismatic dudes.
That might be a little bit dumb.
Okay, yeah, that's adorable.
Last letter of the evening,
from Patrick Henry last name withheld.
Hey, floppos.
I recently was flooded with terrible memories of times I showed girls movies I
thought would make me seem interesting.
Like when I was a fresh man in high school and tried to impress.
I was a fresh man.
You know what?
I was going to let go of these a freshman.
You know what?
You know what?
Call me prometheus.
You know what?
I told you something. You know what? You know what? Call me prometheus. You know what? I-
So they'll be, I so-more.
I'll tell you something.
I over-pronounced it because this person wrote, like when I was a freshman in high school,
so I was correcting a mistake in the letter.
Am I in?
And he-
Yeah, like middle of the fucking freshman, dude.
Like multiple men.
Okay. Like multiple men, Jamie Madras.
Yeah.
So I was doing him a favor, but you called me out on it.
I didn't.
I started.
Don't look at me, sir.
Take your accusing eyes and turn them to their way.
Perhaps I'm simply an agent of Elliot.
Who's really in charge of stew, stew or me?
Like when I was a freshman in high school, and I tried to impress a British girl by showing
her a guy-richy snack.
Just gonna let him press go?
Yeah.
Or later, when I thought I would seem edgy by making a perspective mate since sit through
Darren Ironofsky's pie,
because the record we infer a dream was too mainstream.
Needless to say, these attempts were fruitless.
You guys have any memories of time he tried to show
something you were romantically interested in in a movie
and in retrospect it was a poor choice.
Patrick Henry last name was held.
PS, the first movie in my now partner for six years
watched together with the Big Lebowski
while my brother was passed down on the couch.
So it all works out in the end.
Okay.
I mean, I certainly like, remember in high school showing a girl that I like.
So wait, are we going to lay some ground rules and say this isn't an opportunity for us
to just brag about all the time so you totally hooked up with chicks and watching movies?
No, this is not.
We're only talking about times we didn't hook up with chicks.
That like, when I was at in high school, I showed a girl
Brazil.
And I was like, this movie is amazing. And she thought it was really
weird. And I remember two times now, I've taken women to see
2001, a space Odyssey and have them one fall asleep during it.
And the other time I might then girlfriend now wife, we went
to see the movie the fall which the the
Tarsine movie which is one of my favorite movies and then we I was like
2001's playing at midnight same theater let's go to that and the whole time she's like
Like why are we sitting through this movie? It's so late. I'm so tired
Sarah and I our taste movie was very close together
But I do remember one time when I was
describing the plot of audition to her and I was like making a point about, I was like
explaining how this movie about torture was actually a movie about like feminism.
Why did you ruin that movie for somebody?
Yeah, just go into it fresh dog.
So she'll hate you for real.
Yes, why don't you watch it and then write it about the middle point you turn and just focus on watch well reactions.
But a camera on her.
She almost immediately...
She almost immediately was like, I'm not interested in hearing about this.
I'm not interested in this movie, I don't care.
No, but then she keeps saying deeper, deeper and you're like, what?
Yeah. Yeah.
Actually, the other night I was just,
for some reason, audition came up in conversation.
And I literally, all I told Danielle was that,
oh yeah, halfway through, it turns out she's a crazy person.
I won't tell you what happens at the end.
And she said, thank you.
Yeah, that's my favorite thing is when you're explaining
something that you know the other person is an interested in
and you have that moment of realization. I was like, I think I was describing the plot of a
Rick and Morty episode to my wife and I'm like, I should probably stop doing this.
But I need to have some kind of like, I need to like wrap it up somehow. I need to give her a
beginning middle and end of this story. Is the lack of closure will be the worst of the time?
I'm taking it from. Right, Jefferson.
I think it was the Mr. Pooby Buttle episode.
Okay, sure.
Which is a great episode.
There's a time at my old job when I was a production assistant, where I somehow found
myself going into a monologue with a couple of like co-workers about the greats of stop
motion animation.
And while I'm talking about how like Willis O'Brien taught, you know, Mentored Ray Harry
Housen, I'm like, in my head, I'm like, why are you talking about this?
They don't give a shit.
Look at their faces.
This is a waste of their time that I like couldn't pull out of the dive.
I was just like, no, I have to see this through.
I'm going to tell him about Phil Tippett and then I'll just stop there.
To actually answer the question, I know, I know at least two different women have fallen
asleep while I showed them going in the barbarian.
I, of course, stayed up for the entire movie.
You weren't trying to.
I assume you weren't trying to impress them with coloring in the barbarian.
You just like coloring in the barbarian.
I think it's an awesome, I mean, I don't know.
I don't want, I mean, I don't show women movies to impress them.
I mean, it's not with this. I don't necessarily try to impress them, but like you know, I don't know. I don't want, I mean, I don't show women movies to impress them. I mean, it's not with this.
I don't necessarily try to impress them, but like you know.
No, but I want to show cool.
I want to share something that I love.
And I think it's cool.
And I obviously could expound at length
about why it's cool.
But I'd never had the opportunity
because they'd fall asleep.
I, and I've told the story on here,
I think this is not the same thing,
but when I showed my wife, I earned giant
when we were first going out, and I warned her ahead of time, like, I'm gonna cry at
this movie, and she was like, that's fine, that's okay. And then afterwards, she was like, I didn't think
you were gonna cry that much. I was like, I was like, tear up your faces all wet. Still,
it still does it to me. Just think about that movie, it makes me feel good. Yeah, it's like when I watch the end credits
of Richard Rune of the King, I'm like,
surely get out of the room.
Just don't look at me ever again.
It can't be over.
I'm gonna be a mess.
Take the hobbit, which has almost no plot
and turn it into three movies.
It's what they start doing the credits
and they show like the sketches of the different,
oh my God, I lose it every time
oh fuck. So what do you now Dan the letters are done gone the side from the hills from the whatever.
This is off to the great ones, along with I think Bilba. Yeah this is the boy in the flop house
where we recommend movies that we actually like movies that might be a better way to spend your time
than watching Picture Frankenstein, although I can't.
I kind of like this, but let's go.
Stuart.
Good turn.
Sure, I was yawning.
Yes, it was looking at me waiting for me
to finish to answer, he then decided,
you know what, I'm going to Stuart.
You know what, it's not worth it.
This guy can finish his involuntary,
you guys going to vamp some more before I go?
Stuart, go ahead, your turn.
So, at least this movie is something that I'm surprised
that I haven't recommended, but I'm going to trust
in the Flop House recommends Wiki, which is great.
The chose that it hasn't recommended, I'm gonna recommend a shock to over movie called
The Howling directed by Joe Dante.
This kind of a horror classic about a couple.
It's a reporter who goes through a traumatic experience
and she and her husband, as a means to kind of repair
her like emotional state and get her ready to go back to work.
They go to a retreat up in the woods
and the people in the town and at the retreat slowly
turn out to be more than what they
seem and it's definitely a very like kind of 70s kind of gritty little bit
trashy movie it's got some I mean it's called the Howling so you know it's a
fucking werewolf movie so no spoilers there but it's got some really great
practical werewolf effects it's got a great sense of humor it's got some really great practical wearable effects.
It's got a great sense of humor.
It's a little bit sexy, so you know,
hey, date night's coming up.
And yeah, so check it out, the Howling.
Oh, and a little bit of an update for those following this podcast,
the Flop House.
I now watch a little bit more of hard target too, including
I just watched a scene where Scott
adkins riding a motorcycle shoots a net and then a missile at Rona Mietra while she pulls
out two crossbow pistols and shoots crossbow darts at him.
I'm not going to tell you how that scene ends.
But you still enjoy the movie.
Oh yeah, I'm totally enjoying it.
I got a dole it out in small portions.
Otherwise, I got a Stuart Watch and Target too.
It's like I'm edging myself a little bit.
I don't want to give myself completely over to the pleasure.
Sure.
Dan, what are you going to recommend?
I wish I had a Shocktober movie.
I should have thought about this beforehand. I should have thought about this beforehand in a couple of different ways. I should have had a movie.
So recommend.
Do you want me to recommend, I don't have a horror movie, do you want me to recommend a movie while you're doing it?
No, the most recent movie that I watched that I enjoyed, and this is as so often a a qualified recommendation from me is a movie called Mr.
Nice to possibly featuring Jackie Chan.
Possibly featuring one Jackson Chan.
Mr. Right.
This is the movie that I thought of last week when I was thinking of Mr. and I was gonna.
No, I don't mean interrupt in,
but I kinda have to, is Jackie Chan of this movie.
Jackie Chan is not in this movie.
Okay, good, at least we had a,
took you a little bit of time to get there,
but at least we have a real answer.
A great idea of whether,
whether Jackie Chan quotient word,
JCQ is of this film. Now you know me,
I'm a little easier on movies than I think either of you are. So take this with a grain of salt. But
if you're looking for a very, very light movie to watch if you're, I don't know, lays in a round on the
couch. Need to pick me up. Mr. Wright is a good one.
On a Sunday afternoon.
It stars anachindic and
Sam Rockwell, two people who are
professionally good at being
charming.
And that's what they do in the movie.
Stewart is putting his hand over his face.
I don't know what it is about what I just said.
I'm realizing what movie it is. That's just too much.
That's the moment when you thought about that movie
and were like, is Drake and James and then movie?
I think is Jack and James.
And then movie, I just got the title of it wrong.
Like maybe he was like a son character.
I got the title of it wrong.
Maybe he had a cameo.
And sorry.
That would be great.
I like Sam Rockwell and Anna Kendrick.
They're really fun.
Do they dance and we're sing? Sam Rockwell does a bunchrick. They're both really fun. Do they dance and or sing?
Sam Rockwell does a bunch of dancing.
Because they're Sam Rockwell, that's what he loves to do
and he's good at it.
And the main problem with the movie is it's one of these movies
about a charming hitman.
And as Elliot is against that.
And I-
Not a fan.
Yeah.
If there had never been a movie about a charming hitman
or a hitman with real problems,
I'd be like, oh, that's an interesting twist,
but there's been so many of them.
What about, is it Tommy Flanagan?
What's the name of Hitman from DC's comics?
That sounds about right, yeah.
What about him, do you like that guy?
I mean, the thing about him is that,
he is character is treated as someone who is morally compromised in a way that
you haven't seen in like a superhero comic necessarily.
So because it's a different medium.
What about taskmasters?
He a hitman?
Taskmaster is a trainer of other mercenaries and sometimes mercenary himself.
But he's also a skeleton.
No, he just wears a mask.
His original roots were he's the guy who trains thugs.
And he wears like, Buccaneer boots.
He doesn't anymore again, but I like the old fashioned one.
Kate Buccaneer boots, skull mask, and he's got like a bone arrow and a sword and everything.
And it's shield.
Yeah.
But I just seemed, I mean, when Hitman, the comic came out, it was, we were not quite so overwhelmed
with Hitman stuff.
We were on our way quite there.
Let me just say though, that if you remove the Hitman stuff from the equation, which you
can't, because it's a major part of the movie.
But it's the plot.
If this was just a movie about a scatterbrained woman falling in love with a really weird dude.
It would be a lot of fun because those two, as I said, are charming as hell and they do
a really good job of being charming together.
But the Hitman plot does allow Tim Roth to have a role in the movie and he's always fun
to see.
Oh, the United Passion.
So it's a movie that didn't get very good reviews and I understand why, but it's got
its own like offbeat charm that I responded to.
All right.
Mine is also kind of qualified recommendation.
In fact, I'd almost like to make an assignment out of it for our more trepid listeners.
There is no deadline for this and maybe there's a prize someday,
but take your time with it.
I'd like to recommend a movie that the first hour or so
of it, first half of it, roughly, maybe 45 minutes.
I was like, this movie is great.
Why have I never watched it before?
And then the second half, I was like,
this movie doesn't know what the fuck it's doing.
And that movie is The Life and Times of Judge Roy Beans
starring Paul Newman, directed by John Houston,
written by John Millius.
And the,
the,
the cone in the barbarian fame.
And the first, like I'm saying,
first half of the movie is great.
And like both,
like funny,
but also troubling.
And there's an action scene where Paul Newman
as Judge Roy Bean,
he's been attacked and left
for dead by some people.
He goes to their like hideout shack in the middle of this, you know, village that in the middle
of nowhere and murders all of them, but he's like running through the shack and then running
around it, jumping in through another window, running back.
And the way it's shot is so immediate and so visceral.
It's something that it's really exciting to see John Houston, who's a director from the Golden Age, you know, who's not, who didn't grow up
with that kind of thing, doing more like handheld movement and things like that. It's really
exciting. And there's Anthony Perkins has a really fun role for a couple scenes in it.
And it's, I can pinpoint the moment the movie goes bad. And it's the moment when John
Houston shows up as Grizzly Adams and gives a lovable drunk bear to Judge Robeen as a pet. And Judge Robeen decides
he's going to fall in love and it becomes not interesting. And then from that point on,
it's jumping around into the future and stuff like like the movie kind of doesn't know what to do
after a certain point. And so my assignment to you the listener, if you want to take it up,
if you don't, that's fine too. Watch the life and times of Judge Roebean. Stop it at the
moment, Grizzly Adams shows up with his cart with a bear at it, or watch the rest of the
movie. But I would say stop at that point and then just say like, that was a good, very
short movie. Or tell me what should have happened for that point on in the film to make it a
more satisfying film. I honestly don't know. I've been trying to figure it out and I can't figure it out.
So send in your answers to the flop house whenever you want.
And send in the clowns.
And send in the clowns.
Those laughing daffy clowns.
Uh, send in those soulful and dovel,
schmultz by the bowlful clowns.
That's the Simpsons version of it.
My end, because it's shocked over why should I I've been talking about how much I want wish Victor Frankenstein
was directed by Stuart Gordon. Why not just go watch the next best thing and that's reanimator.
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you've seen it. Watch it again. It's great. This bit of this movie hits
all of the all of the story beats of reanimator and I less good way.
Yeah. And so life and times are judgeable being if you want to challenge, but Reanimator,
if you just want to sit there and watch a really great fun, gross horror movie, that has
one of the best jump cuts in film history. It's right up there, I think, with the eight
man throwing a bone in the air and it turns into a space station in 2001, which is when
what's his name is with his girlfriend teasing
her and she's going, no, no, no.
And then it cuts to them and having sex and she goes, yes, yes, yes.
It's such a ridiculous cut.
So it's right up there with the the smash cut that ends they live.
So in it, it's a matter, baby.
Cut to credits.
And I feel like reanimator has one of the best horror
movie performances from, like, I guess a villain
with Jeffrey Counds is her best.
Like it's a star making turn.
And very much, he's playing what James McAvoy
should have been in this movie, which is a character
who is kind of the villain, but also kind of the main,
the protagonist driver of the plot, and that it's Herbert West's story, even if he's a crazy person
who goes off the rails and does bad things, you know. Yeah, he's a crazy person who has like,
you know, there's, you have to dial back the charm a little bit. I don't know, there's something
because it's not like you are like,
oh, I want to spend time with her, but what?
No, well, he's so complete in himself.
He's a character who doesn't care if the audience likes him.
Yeah.
And I really like that a lot.
Like he's the contempt he feels towards everyone else
in the movie.
He also feels towards the audience.
Yeah, that's fair.
Anyway, yeah, go see your animator.
It's Halloween times.
Yeah.
The retain rattle spooky scary.
Boo.
Good.
Where will formats of a.
Um, so yeah, this is the first this has been the first shot to episode. There's two others
to come in this shot over season was rare three episodes, shot tovers. It only happened
once every.
The twists and turns.
Uh huh. Up and down.
Who knows how many more scenes from
turns or again, too?
Stir will see as Shaktover
wins its way across the river sticks into the afterlife.
What surprises the Shaktover hold?
A couple.
So for the fly.
Yeah. So I've been Dan McCoy.
And I've been steward Wellington seated,
sultry.
And I'm the dearly departed Elliot Kaelin,
risen once more by the power of lightning.
We should give ourselves spooky parody names
like they do in the Halloween episodes as well.
Yeah, next time.
Next time.
Surprise is for next time.
Bye, bye.
[♪
[♪ [♪ [♪ [♪ [♪ [♪ [♪ [♪ [♪
[♪ [♪
[♪ One thing that I realized about that is that it's not like Jackie Chan makes more than
one kind of movie.
It's not like, oh yeah, it was one of the musical romantic comedies that Jackie Chan did.
That's why I got it mixed up.
No, he only makes one kind of movie.
Yeah.
You shall art films with a greater or lesser degree of comedy.
It doesn't make locked room thrillers. He was not like a science fiction epic about a world where dinosaurs have supplanted people.
Like it doesn't make those movies.
We call it Planet Chan.
Chan it.
Jackie Rassic Park.
So first we do the intro and then we do the show.
That's how it works.
Sounds easy to me.
Let's fuck it up.
That's what's up.
Maximumfund.org.
Comedy and culture.
Artists don't.
Listen or support it.
The great questions of your life.
Great questions of your life.
Should you put ketchup on a hot dog,
but ketchup on a hot dog.
Toilet paper.
Over or under.
Toilet paper.
Star Wars, Star Trek. Star Trek.
If you're not my friends, your Mark and Hral always reach the definitive answer.
Simply listen to We Got This with Mark and Hal.
Every Tuesday at 9 p.m. Pacific on Maximum Fun fun.
We got this. Your better self is right around the corner.
Namaste.
is right around the corner. Namaste.