The Flop House - Ep. #217 - Independence Day: Resurgence

Episode Date: November 12, 2016

Back to our non-Shocktober fare as we mourn election day with our Independence Day: Resurgence discussion. Meanwhile, Elliott gives the JD Power porn star awards, Stuart's weenus is protected, and Dan cannot leave President Sex Criminal alone. Wikipedia synopsis for Independence Day: Resurgence Movies recommended in this episode: Doctor Strange Dog Soldiers No End A Little Romance

On tonight's episode we watched in the Fendenstead resurgence. Wow, we did. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington. Well, Stuart was kind of slowing down. No battery and over here. Up. The region. He's punching Pluto right out of here. Now don't punch W Wimpy too. Well, he's just in a berserker range. He's on the battlefield. Bob, I was destroying the Mont-Rit all the voils head off.

Oh, no. And I'm Elliot Kaylon. Before we get... And this is the Flop House. This is the Flop House. What do we do on this podcast? It's a podcast we watch a bad movie. And then we talk about it.

Before we get started, I'd like to welcome our new president, president, sex criminal. Oh, man, wow. Right off the top. Right off the bat. This has been... Look, we got to unify under president, sex criminal. Wow.

We're recording this the day after the election. And I guess Dan decided that no one's gonna have any fun. It's a time for healing under president sex criminal. You just grabbed the wheel, started jerking it down one leg. No, right. It's an oncoming traffic jerking it in traffic. I think I'd be curious to find out actually, if the political makeup of our listeners is in any way varied, I'm willing to believe that it's probably not. I think all three of us here certainly and I'm willing to guess much of our

listenership if not the majority of it. Seize yesterday is a victory for hate, fear lies, sleaze and the worst in the American public. But that is selfishness. That is selfishness. That having been said, Daniel Kirk McCoy, there comes a certain point where one has to abide by the rules of the system that we have all agreed to be a part of. But in addition to that, find a way to oppose a leader you disagree with in a way that attracts or persuades others rather than turns them off. And that's the challenge we're going to figure out by the end of this episode. I don't know. As we talk about independent state, we're talking about, I was being totally honest about

my desire to all come together under president's ice criminal. I like stroking his beard. I mean, my stubble, because I didn't sleep well and I didn't shave this morning. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, we had to get that out of the way. This is one of Dan sometimes likes to drop what he calls truth bombs or T-bombs on us. Where he'll just... I didn't want to get off on a rant. It's trying to set up some really exciting improv opportunities, which truth bombs or T bombs on us. Where he'll just- I didn't want to get off on a rant. Well, we're just trying to set up some really exciting improv opportunities, which clearly grasp.

It's similar to how he will occasionally be like, oh, by the way, this first letter is super sad, so don't interrupt me. And then he'll read a story about somebody coming to the service side. Oh, Larry, why are you laughing at that? Other than embarrassment. Yeah. And here's the thing. I, that was a pretty, that was a difficult night for me last night. It's been on that. A lot of embarrassment. And here's the thing. I, that was a, that was a difficult night for me last night.

It's been on that for a lot of people. It's going to be difficult for years and it's going to suck pretty hard most likely. We'll figure it out. But one thing that did help me get through the day was hearing from a number of people that listening to the flop house helped them get through the day. And so feeling like we're doing something worthwhile here for other people, at least even just as a means of escape, rather than just three guys circle jerking around nonsense about independence day resurgence or some crap.

Although, is that what we want to hide? I mean, and all Dan could see was the election returns rolling over his eyes over and over again. He did not see the thousands of alien ships blasting each other to pieces. The, the, the prospect of hanging out with you guys and just circle jerk in it. No matter what the movie, whether it's the best kid, as people do apparently, I never understood that thing. I don't know that anyone ever talked about it.

I actually did. That's like, you know, those rainbow parties, oh, is that all about, well, it was a made up thing that no one ever actually did. Yeah, you're like, the golden snitch, why would you catch it? It's worth all, why wouldn't you catch it? It's worth all the balls.

That's a good thing. Exactly the same thing. Would you bother with any other aspect of the game? The golden snitch is the game. Yeah, it's like, it's like JK Rowling watched Blood Heroes, A.K. salute of the jugger. And she's like, instead of a dog skull, I'm just gonna make it the Golden Snitch.

And instead of Rucker Hauer, I'm gonna make, I don't know, Craven Goil or some bullshit. Yeah, exactly that. That's what I'm saying. I guess we're all syllables. I recognize them as... It's the syllables. I recognize them as it sounds. It might have been some language.

Let's just say this, Dan. How about this? Maybe this will help you. Okay. What is the opposite of hate? Love. Thank you. You could read the other of Robert Mitchem's knuckles.

So that's good. Okay. And let's take this thing that we do, which is ostensibly about tearing down somebody else's creative expression. And instead try to make it into a source of love. A love letter to the movies. A love letter to the movies,

and a love letter just to each other, to the listeners, to anyone around, to... Veteran actor Bill Pullman. Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Bill Pullman. Who's in this place of guy with a walk? Down the street before. But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before. Because the gravity of the giant mothership that's sucking you up into. All that ones.

Am I several stories high? Knowing I'm on the street Where you live? So to take that song literally he is now a giant yeah, whose feet are no longer attached to the pavement Mm-hmm. It's a song about a horror. It's like a body horror song David 21 for its flying giant. Yeah, yeah. My fair flying giant. Because there's nothing that makes you more uncomfortable with like the body than seeing the feet not touching the ground anymore.

The tall man would do that kind of stuff, right? I mean, I think he does, and he probably flies like awkwardly, like horizontally, like he's laying down. Oh, man, he's awesome. So anyway, love. What movie did we love watching tonight, Dan? We watched a movie called Independence Day, Colin Resurgence.

Now this is, crack me if I'm wrong. This is the sequel to Independence Day, the hit film of 1996, in which Will Smith welcomed an alien to Earth then punched him in the face. And Jeff Goldblum used like an Apple Power book to take down an alien to earth than punched him in the face. And Jeff, I think in that order, right? I think so. And Jeff Goldblum used like an Apple power book to take down an alien fleet.

Uh-huh. And then Randy Quaid sacrificed himself so we could all survive as he did in life. And Bill Pullman was the president and he got into a flight suit and got into a plane which gave a young George W. Bush the idea to do that when he was president someday. Now, Independence Day. What if George W. Bush the idea to do that when he was president someday. Now, in depends day, what if George W. Bush's entire presidency was him

imitating Bill Pullman in different movies? So he did that. He also, he dated Senator Bullock, all Senator Bullock was pretending to be his brother Jeb's fiance, Jeb was in a coma. Like, he was sleeping. I just brother Jeb. I mean, look at the guy. He's essentially in a walking coma anyway. He was also shut in and he made his vice president Like, he was sleeping. I just brother jet, but I just, I mean, look at the guy. He's essentially in a walk-in-com anyway. He was also shut in and he made his vice president to go out and do all the legwork and his crimes.

Yeah. In a movie that wasn't funny, really? Nor suspense. Wait, is that zero-theorem? Zero effect. Zero effect. Zero-theorem is the Terry Gilliam movie with Christoph Vaults, right?

Yeah, you're right. And Zero is the mutant liberation front character who turned out to be an Android. You can teleport. Oh, you don't say. So Bill Pullman's in the out of paradox. This is a star-studded cast who comes back from the first movie, Not Will Smith. He is not interested. He seems less interested in aliens than he used to be.

There was, once someone told me a story. He was after Earth. It was not aliens, Dan, because those were on Earth. That's true. Yeah. Someone once told me a story that when Will Smith wanted to get into movies, his people looked at what are the highest grossing movies of all time

and they were all science fiction films, and he said, that's what I'm making. I'm making science fiction films. So he did like Independence Day and Men in Black and I don't know what other ones. I mean, somebody could just be playing Monday morning quarterback with Wilson that's career. That's true. And like six degrees of separation

where I think it turns out he's nailing in the end. I mean soccer challenge. Stacker Channing has a kind of almost salad. Stacker Channing. Stacker Channing, whereas he's also known soccer challenge. Whereas he's also known soccer challenge. It's time for us soccer challenge. Oh, I'm sorry, soccer challenge. Please welcome to the show.

Thank you for being here, soccer. Is that a name? That is a soccer challenge, isn't it? I mean, soccer is basically a name. I don't soccer challenge, isn't it? I mean, stockard is barely a name. I don't know what that, it's like stockade, basically, right? Yeah, or maybe it's like one of those medieval names where it's based on your profession and then to somebody who was a stock person. I guess so, yeah, a stockard and a Channing because it was a chain maker.

Yep, because she was a Carol Channing impersonator. That's what it was. So, this is in this movie. So, Will Smith is not in the movie, but Jeff Goldblum returns. There's a photo of Will Smith. That's true that it is. At least two photos. There's a photo with a filter put on it to make it look like a portrait hanging in the

White House. Jud Hersh returns, Brent Spiner returns. Heck yeah. Robert Losea returns, Brent Spiner returns. Heck yeah. Robert Losea returns for a second, from one second cameo. And there's a lot of- Vivica Fox is in it. Vivica Fox, she's gone from stripper to doctor

an inspiring story man. At least that's me. Oh, that was her. Yes. Okay. Well, I just missed that part of the movie. Okay. So, well, let's tell the story of the film, shall we? Sure. It's we this movie has aged in real time.

It's 20 years since the original alien invasion of 1996. So they did a little bit of stung casting. It's like the comic strip for better or for worse. It ages in real time. Does for better worse age. I know the gasoline alley did. Yeah, it does. And funky winker bean and dunes berry. Funky winker bean, the least funky, most depressing comic strip in the pages. The winker bean, yes, though. Did you know peanuts actually ages in real time, but it's set in a world where the children

have been stunted by radiation. It explains a lot of absnoopy. Oh, yeah, he's a mutant. That's how he can dance. He's when he thinks people can hear it, he's like blood the dog in a boy, a boy in his dog. In that also, he convinced Charlie Brown to cook Lucy. So that they could, they could then eat her. Oh, yeah. And uh, and uh, and he has like a proteus like power where he can fly as just because he thinks it his Doghouse turns into a fighter plane

Oh, no, he's used his advanced his advanced abilities to Yeah, turn the doghouse into a flying thing, but yeah, he has reality warping powers Which is why suddenly it's World War one again. Mm-hmm. Suddenly. He's a soldier He's lived a thousand lifetimes. Just like Garfield in the book. Garfield nine lives of Garfield. So it's 20 years since the original alien invasion. Nine romantic lives of Garfield. Which one he's having sex with a different cartoon cat? In different time periods. We got Playboy video from 93. Why?

Because it's all about Jurassic Park. That's right. Welcome to Playboy's video calendar, 1993. We wanted to show you some hot models, but we know you want to see footage of Jurassic Park coming out this summer. Now I'm just imagining like a woman in a T. Rex costume. And there's just like two holes where breasts are and they're poking

down. It probably exists somewhere. It's amazing how much 1993 to me the one landmark I can go to is Jurassic Park and I date things by that. Yeah, at least like the last five episodes you've mentioned. It's like, oh, Independence Day with that, that alien vision was in 1996 also known as 3AD after dinosaurs. Yeah, that's funny. I remember seeing, I remember seeing Independence Day. I think it was like, it came out in the summer. I think it came out on the 4th of July to be exact.

And I remember I was on a soccer tournament with my youth soccer team. Soccer Channing. Yeah. It was a soccer Channing soccer challenge brought to by smokers. It was the memorial soccer challenge. It was the smothers brothers, soccer Channing memorial soccer challenge brought to you by smuckers and starbursts. So I was at this I was at the soccer challenge and one afternoon when we were not playing games anymore We all as a team went out to see independent day boy

You were kidnapped on an island where the rich hunted you for sport. You're like we're not playing games anymore No, this is a bug hunt man. Yep And I said, generals are off. Please don't shoot me. I know on the world's greatest hunter, but I do not want to be the hunted. I remember when Independence Day came out. And I remember as a, I guess what, 14-year-olds, being like, that was okay. And then when I got older, I was like, oh, that movie's not very good. It's not very good, but I still have a lot of fondness for it.

It's in the tradition of your classic disaster movie and that it shows a lot of, it has a lot of, you know, big stars, character actors, they each have their own like story lines that converge at different points in the movie. We get to we really get to know them as characters before. Yeah, rich. Rich. We really have that. No, no, I'm a tapestry. I'm Tennessee Williams watch out.

I'm saying this in contrast to the movie watch today. Oh, I do declare others. Plenty of aliens about to show how I always depended on the kindness of aliens. I got out of the mind. I'm just saying that we spend, we spend actual time with these characters before things start blowing up, which is the exact opposite of the movie that we saw. In Independence Day research, it's 20 years later, Earth has rebuilt using the alien technology

to make laser guns and monorails. And everything looks like the people are living in sim city 3000. Yeah, we get a little bit of a rundown of what happened in the first independence day when an alien queen in her little space chamber is just watching clips from the first movie. She's watching bill Pullman's famous Independence Day speech famous Independence Day speech, with I assume anger, they want revenge. They've never been rejected by an inferior species before and it's time to make amends for that.

We're on Earth, we briefly introduced the characters. There's a couple of hot dog and space pilots. There's Will Smith's son, who's also a hot dog and space pilot. There's this Chinese space pilot, she's a hot dog and space pilot. There's what Chinese space pilot. She's a hot dog in space pilot. There's what's her name from it follows, who is an aide to the president, but also a former hot dog in space pilot.

And also the former hot dog daughter of the president. Yeah, so, Yes, current. Now, this is a very specific moment when she was formerly a hot dog. Yeah. Well, who is transformed into a real girl?

This is a point where the movie got a little bit of flack because it brought everybody else back. It brought back your, your Judhersh, your Brent Spiner, all those guys. Exactly. It brought sexy back. And, but they did not bring back May Whitman, who played the daughter of Bill Pullman in the original movie, even though May Whitman is a working actress nowadays. What does she do now? She's her a.k.a. from

Okay, right development She's on a bunch of other she was it was in the movie the Duff. Yeah, she was the the titular Duff I don't know like that is a good movie It's a movie that posits that every group of women have a less attractive woman that hangs out with them in order to throw their... Yeah, a Duff from MTV, Duff McKay and Machine Art. In order to throw their attractive face into sharp relief. I see. And it's a romantic, high school romantic comedy where the titular Duff...

It's saying Ditchler, right? Yeah, you're saying it weird, dude. Now, here's the thing about in the event to say, I get it, she finds love. You understand what happens. In a pen and say, we're surgeons. Every character in this movie is either. She wasn't brought back,

is what Stuart was getting at. Yeah, and it's fucking weird and stupid, because she's a working actress, and there's no reason not to bring her back. As much as I love Mike Monroe's performances and the guest, and it follows. We also forgot hot dog and Hemsworth. Hot dog and Hemsworth. Which Hemsworth? It's one of the Hemsworths.

Yeah, I said non-thor Hemsworth. Yeah, and Dunston? Yeah, Dunston checked him. Dunston checked Hemsworth. His parents named him after their favorite movie, Dunston checked him. They all these, almost every character is either the child of a character from the previous movie or a fighter pilot or both. It is a very small world in which everyone is a child of somebody else who's also character. Everyone's a child of somebody.

Come on, you know what I mean. There are very few like new characters who are not related to previous characters unless they are William Fickner as a four star general who well we'll tell you what is it for mission so it's in the future every yeah it's a four star I mean they don't it doesn't even go that high even get burnt to get that far you you know what happens is you take one bite of his food and it's so good you orgasm and then die so that fourth mission start is a warning this will be the best food you've ever tasted, but it'll be the last thing you ever do.

And you know what? People are willing to pay like a thousand dollars for that. Like even if I lock up my weenus and a cage. I don't really know how that would, in any way a fact what was that? You know, it'll delay my point. So I'll eat that thing, I'll eat that sandwich or whatever the fucking makes me. I'll be like, how I be like, that's the other thing. It's a sandwich,

silly. Yeah, like a week later, I'll take that cage off my weenis. And then I'll send them like, ah, dip. Very me with honors. It varied me with the rest of the sandwich. I'll eat it in heaven. Remember me as the guy who had a cage on his weenis. Nicholas, clean this cage Nicholas cage. That's what they call him So any who it's the future

Everything it's it's our year 2016, but it's the future because they've alien technology and on the moon base where they have a moon defense base setup We're introduced to the Hemsworth and his buddy, they're both orphans or whatever. I think their parents were killed in the big alien invasion. A mysterious craft appears through a wormhole and Earth is like blow the shoot out of that thing and they shoot it down.

And we Earth relies on its base or human instincts of violence. Meanwhile, Now, Gran, it does look like when it's coming through that wormhole. It looks super evil. It looks like the cover of morbid angels, gateways on eyelashes. It does. Uh, meanwhile, back at home, by which I mean earth, welcome to it.

Uh, Jeff Globloom is still out investigating his aliens, and he's in the middle of Africa where there's a leftover alien ship that landed and where the locals have finally finished, I guess, by hand, hunting down these aliens. And we're introduced to a group of characters, Jeff Goldblum, the scientist from the first movie, an English scientist who's some kind of psychologist who specializes in people who have met aliens, who's hanging out there. Some nerdy guy who is hanging around Jeff Goldblum. A French scientist. Oh, she's French, I thought she was in. Yeah.

Some nerdy, except her mother was in London. I don't know, she had a French. What happens when she's played with Charlotte Gainesburg? So, I mean, I'll know as much. Sometimes when you have that like, Globe, Trotten, Euro lifestyle. Some of your family live somewhere, somewhere somewhere else.

I Christian London, lunch in Paris, midnight Rome, and good night, Irene. And then we're introduced to the leader of the the warlord, the leader of this group of African alien hunter dudes. And he, even though everyone has huge honken laser missile rifles that everyone's holding all the time, laser rifles that are so big cable should be carrying them around. He prefers to have two machetes strapped to his back that he uses to slice up aliens. He's the Leonardo.

He's the Leonardo, he's the Deadpool. He is whoever has two things swords sticking out of their back. So let's go back to those laser guns. So they have these laser guns that they stole from the aliens. Or retro engineered. Although the aliens have these laser guns that they stole from the aliens. Or retro engineered. All the aliens have the same guns when they show up. And they do.

Now I don't remember them ever seeing those guns in the original film. What are you gonna do? They wreck them. I think they probably fucking found them somewhere in one of the alien ships. But the thing is that it doesn't make a lot of sense that like everybody is carrying these giant alien lasers

everywhere they go, like the secret service guys have them. And they're huge. Like they're the biggest things in the world. And that doesn't make any sense. Like the trend with weaponry is to get smaller, right? So it's easier to hide. No, no, no. Smaller is old-fashioned.

Now it's all about big, big weapons. So you got to carry around like a cloud strife, size, buster sword. We're going to pretend I know what that means. We're like just pushing a trebuchet around. Yeah, yeah. I like the idea of like there's a cop on the beat who has to give his badge, give me a badge and gun

and the gun on your ankle. And under his pant leg is this huge leg survival. He like can barely walk because it makes his leg has to be straight. Oh, that's my giant penis. I have it on a weenus cage. That's what looks up. That doesn't make any sense.

It would be smaller if it was in a weenus cage. The cage is it is. Also, the design of that weenus cage looks strangely alien, almost like an alien laser rifle. They retrofitted the alien weenus cage technology. They find some stuff. Anyway, they shoot this thing on the moon. That Ejef Goldblum and his team decide to go on the moon, even though they're told not to, by the, in the first of many Google Hangouts, which involve all the world leaders, the

president, and anyone who seems to be around a speaker of some kind or a screen, like the president will be talking to the leaders of the other countries. And these space jockeys and their fighter jets will be able to listen in on it. The moon based can hear what it is. Jeff Goldblum on his laptop or his walkie-talkie can hear it. Every person is... It's called transparency, I'll leave. I guess so every piece of communication technology in this movie is so wide-band that you can just pick it up on whatever. There are folks driving their cars in the middle of the night just tuning the radio on the

FM dial who are suddenly in on like national security conversations between world powers and stuff like that because it needs to be broadcast everywhere. Yeah, well, after they defeated the aliens the first time they realized that this is kind of a global community dude and everybody has to be able to talk to each other. I guess so. So whether a number of parts later in the movie when like the president will be talking to somebody and be like, we're running out of time,

the aliens are dead and then you'll see some guys on a fishing troller listening on the radio. Oh, no, they're running out of time. It's like, why are you on this channel? What's your security clearance? Anyway, they go up to the moon. Uh oh, after there's a scene where Liam Hemsworth Once your security clearance, anyway, they go up to the moon. Uh-oh. There's a scene where Liam Hemsworth uses his space tow truck to push a falling laser out

of the way of killing some people, which does not adhere him to his flight commander or whatever. It's just to show us, it's the scene where we see that he's a hero who doesn't play by the rules, but he's right, dammit. And he's not afraid to take risks. And also he doesn't with a kind of Han Solo smirk. And he's off-yawntz to Mike Omanro, the former president's daughter, who is now the assistant to the current president.

Yeah, I mean, that's because there's 13 people. That's the kind of problem that happens with government though, dude, like people who come to trench and lie. Nepotism, yeah. That's why kind of problem that happens with government though, dude. Like people who come to trench and lie. Nepotism, yeah. That's why you need an outsider to shake it up. Preferably the worst person you can find. Maybe like a giant alien queen. Let's not skip to the best part of the movie yet.

Anyway, suddenly the aliens attack. Remember how they had that big ship that went over their parts of the world? Of course, I mean, that ship was enormous, Elliot. It was huge. It is burned in my memory, watching that alien ship slowly float out of some clouds, and it really understand how much dwarfs

are small human society. Oh, yeah, it was a majestic. Now imagine if it was ludicrously bigger, literally, as quoted in the movie, 3,000 miles long. That's pretty big, really. That's not any miles that is to Graceland. According to Kevin Costner, so 3000 mile alien ship which wants revenge comes out of cloaking. I killed it's mom.

And the ship is so big that it has its own gravity field and it's just pulling space debris up to it. This gravity field, you'll be happy to know, is forgotten about roughly two thirds through the movie. As the mother alien mothership eventually just kind of settles somewhere and starts boring towards the Earth's core. But the alien mothership, it destroys the moon base. No one's left, but a few of these hot shot fighter jockeys. Then it goes to Earth and it's what,

15 to 20 minutes of just cities being destroyed by this thing just bumping into them and people and cars and airplanes falling into the... And that's why it's so weird that the gravity thing gets abandoned later in the movie because it is clearly the most effective weapon that these aliens have. Like, it's not necessarily intended as a weapon, it's just the fact that their spaceship is so huge that it has its own gravitational field. Exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly,

exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly, but that's, but, but that's something like it, it like totally smashes up the moon, and then it totally like slams into the earth. Like this is a huge thing that has its own gravitational pull. I know if you start messing up with the gravity, at least according to the Akira comic book, if you just blow up part of the moon like that sudo does, that kind of, like even that small change

to the various sides, the tides, the weather patterns, instead, nothing happens unless you count minstration airplanes. Sure, I mean, that's what we make it from. It's part of the aliens plan. They'll disrupt the moon's gravity so that every woman is on the same cycle all at once. Uh, but all of our most effective women are having cramps. They can't, they can't react. They don't turn on our army of bears being summoned by the smells. Not the way you know, I was expecting more of like a manopausal warrior unit. Oh yeah, that's what the riding on the bears. Like a man max. They're like, I guess, yeah, I guess that weighs

what that motorcycle gang is like a manopausal warrior unit. That like, they'd be like, we can't all of our greatest fighter pilots are women. We can't use them. And then just all these rosy the riveters walk out with fighter pilot helmets under their arms. They're like, step aside, youngster, we'll take care of this one.

Pew, pew. You're just saying pew, pew, man. Pew, catch up. Pew, pew, pew. Okay, grandma, do you know where you are right now? It's 1946 and I'm fighting the Nazis. Okay, the war was over by 1946, grandma. You were there. You should remember

the shooting Germans. That's what your funny books tell you. Actually, the war is still going on. They're taking my pills. All right, grandma. Let's just sit you aside right here. Hey, price is right. Is on. That's a conspiracy. I'll watch it. Turns out that's so fast on it. Yeah, well, you know, she doesn't remember things. Anywho. Yeah, every place is destroyed. Every place is being destroyed. And so yeah, this alien ship could basically extinct the human race if it just kept mowing

the earth essentially. Yeah, but then later on they just decide, oh, it's better just to have like planes fly around and shoot things and like aliens come in with their like walk on the ground but boots on the ground with their alien guns. It's not well, but they need the mothership to start drilling through the ocean into the Earth's core. Yeah, it needs to take that. To steal our hot gooey magma core. Yeah, I get the hot core. It was delicious part. The hot nougat at the center of the earth, which as we learn later,

the aliens use for power and to grow their technology, a phrase which is never really explained or it doesn't really sound good. Anyway, this is when wave two starts going on. And we go through, what is it? Just like flying jet attack after flying jet attack as humanity is like, we're not going to let them stop us.

This is our planet. Yeah. 40 fighter jets go after it. 38 of them are destroyed. Oh, this is our planet. We're not going to let them stop us. Yeah. Fighter after most of the people are destroyed until it gets to this, like, as Dan was saying

while watching this, ludicrous point where the odds are so against humanity and that like we have no satellite communication, we have barely any working technology, much of the earth has been destroyed. And literally to the, the old plot point that we saw in battleship too, where it's like good thing this masonry and hasn't come by yet to pick up this old analog, these old analog jeeps and walkie talkies we used to have. Yeah, the things that the alien technology can't interact with.

I will say though, it's amazing that before they take out the satellites, even though it's a 3,000 mile long spaceship that is causing an enormous gravity distortion problems, it does not affect cell service. When Jud Hersh is in a fishing boat, speeding away from the mothership, he has no problem calling this son.

He looks at fucking Verizon or something. On the other side of the earth. I mean, can you hear me now? Because there's a mothership. He's at the same time, he's probably streaming episodes of fucking house. Remember house? Yeah, he's a doctor and fucking doesn't play by the rules.

No, he doesn't. And she thinks. Which I guess would be what the hypocritical. Yeah. Uh, I like, can't keep straight the order of the events, but here's the main basics. A bunch of the fighter pilots get stuck inside the mothership. We forget about them for a long. They go on the mothership and they're like, okay, they're going to close the ship.

Yeah, we're close enough to this alien queen. We're just gonna detonate there's a giant alien queen on the mother ship who is 40 feet tall. Yeah, she's a giant alien queen and they see and they're there are there are They're a me And we're sharing the same dream and the odds are they'll destroy the earth And the odds are they'll destroy the earth. Welcome to. The dude started checking his phone. So that was just a thing. And I'm like, oh, what's going on with Angry Birds?

Still angry. Nope. So they see this alien queen on their heat sensors. And they're like, shit, if we blow that thing up, we win the day, I bet. Yeah. So they said they said their dudes in there, they like the fucking master vampire in a lost boys

or whatever. Exactly like that. And you're like, would Edward Herman's the master vampire spoilers? So they fly in, they're like, this is now this is pod racing. And all of a sudden the aliens are like, ha ha, fooled you idiots, this was a honey pot, we're like, this is, now there's a pod racing. And all of a sudden the aliens are like, ha, fooled you idiots. This was a honey pot. We're tricking you guys to both close Admiral Ackbar. It's a trap. And then they blast them with this EMP. And once again,

Verizon comes through because despite the fact their planes are slowly, slowly, oh, so slowly falling out of the sky inside the alien, in a post-dubbed piece of exposition explains what has its own ecosystem. Yeah. To explain why the inside of a giant spaceship are, are fearless heroes are trudging through in like rice paddies. Like, right. Yeah, rice paddies swamp.

So they, so after the AMP hits, they still have plenty of like, they have crystal clear signal, they can communicate. People in fucking Norway on a fishing troller can hear them. And they tried to detonate their bombs, which once again, should not be able to work after a DMP. And they, Well, an alien ship sends out little like remote control shuriken devices and go on the bombs and

What blown up or deactivate them. I don't know what they do I'm not I don't I don't know what happened. Whatever happens. It doesn't work out our heroes are left to fend for themselves in this alien rice panic Now here's something that we forgot to mention Which is that when the aliens are arriving a couple people who had passed experience with these aliens are having horrible headaches. Bill Pullman's one of them, that African warlord is another one. And Brent Spiner, the scientist from the first movie, has been a coma for 20 years is another, where it is very casually revealed that he's gay and his boyfriend, I'm not husband because he went to a coma before a game marriage was legal anywhere. His boyfriend has been taken care of him and also works at the same secret area

51 project. I mean, that's where they fell in love. I have to assume so because otherwise it means that he got his boyfriend a job at this secret lab and like, that's not ethical. It was the closest thing to a relationship that I cared about in the movie because like, it seemed like they actually, it seemed like two characters who actually knew each other and like cared about. And we had a feelings for each other. Yeah. And I mean, as opposed to all these characters, where it's like, you're my daughter. Daughter. Or, I mean, and we're greeted with a parade of

characters who I wish it was a parade. At the end of eight and a half, all the characters, including the aliens just dance around in a circle. Well, Marcelo Mosterioni just conducts them. Well, we're introduced to all these characters who do some amazing exposition, explaining the backstory and relationships they all have. There's a scene where, so Will Smith's son is a hot shot fighter pilot and he's about to fly to the moon He can play among the stars in other words Huge gravity ship 3000 miles long and in a reporter goes

Seeing as your father died on an experimental test flight to the moon How does it feel to be flying now out of a hangar named after him? And it was like thank glad you packed all the exposition into that question. So we wouldn't worry that Will Smith might show up later in the film. And then the fish and screen riding, Elliot. You know that. There must have been some point where they wrote that

sequel with Will Smith having a big part. And he said, no, I don't want a big part. They must have written it where he shows up in the third act like he's a prisoner of the aliens or something. And then he goes, I second thought, I don't wanna do it. And they just had to write them down, write them out and just insert that line. Yep, insert, initiate a poochie protocol.

I don't know. That's right. Run the pooch maneuver. I have to leave now. He died on the moon. Uh, so yeah, these guys are, um, So these, so humanity has been reduced to a Ragtag team of misfits. The president of the United States is in an underground bunker and the aliens burst in

with laser rifles in their hands and she goes, there will be no peace. And everyone starts firing guns and it's like, of course there will be no peace. They destroyed millions of people and London, China, like all these places. And I was going to the bathroom and I came back out and it was just a peepee, so it would have gone super fast. And I came back and this whole thing happened. That's just evidence of how this movie seems to go at like a constant break, break, break next.

It's a fast movie. And it's two hours long, but they pack like a season's worth of stuff into it. And it does feel like you're watching like we're about to watch season two of Independence Day, the TV show, and we're watching the like, here's the like Netflix, like wrap up of season one. Here's the recap special. When Chris Hardwick gonna come in and tell us

what else is happening, and they walk up to William Fickner and they go, everyone in the presidential succession line is dead. You're the president now. And he's like, hand me your Bible. Okay, swear me in. Get some king Ralph over here. He swears himself in.

He's spotted. That's a food. I don't want to be king. I'll make my butler king. That's how it works in a monarchy, right? You know that as soon as King Ralph went back to the United States, the butler was the mob tore the butler to pieces. And they're like Peter O'Dool. The butler was like, so I'm the king now, right? And then they found like some three-year-old who actually has a drop of royal blood in him and he went, kill him.

And then ascended the iron throne of Britain. Yeah, exactly. Now, we've skipped over a fairly important thing in favor of much less important things, which is that the first thing that the first alien that is encountered in this movie is not a bad alien, but a good alien. Oh, we were getting to that. A good alien. And Jeff Goldblum's like, we don't know who it is, don't shoot at it yet. And the present is like, blast it. Take the shot. Destroy with extreme humanitude. But that happened at the beginning of

the movie. And later on, later on on they like have taken some scrap metal from this The site of the crash back to earth because they want to examine it because the cool blooms like this is I think a different alien species I think this is not But it's the same shape as a as a mysterious shape that all these people who have had alien Mind melds have been drawing in their sleep or whatever, because it has to have a little more. It's just like a circle. I mean, you might as well be like the drawing of a hula hoop

from Tucker Proxim. It's like a proxy. For kids. Yeah. It actually looks like Marvin and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Odyssey movie. It looks like his head. It's just a white or a bisected or.

With a black line on it. And it turns out to be, this is the most hilarious exposition of the whole thing because so there's this character that we've introduced to a while earlier who is this kind of nerdy bureaucrat who is harassing Jeff Goldloom for some reason. He's like checking up on money that a grant was given to him for something I don't know. And he just. It's the loosest plot line as to why this guy's there. And there's it's no like it's not like if this movie came out

like 30 or 40 years ago and this person was like a famous singer and they're like, oh, we just need an excuse to keep this person in the movie. We needed a reason that Donovan would be in this movie. Yeah, exactly. We needed a reason that one of the famous tap dancer, I don't know. We needed a role for one of the Nicholas brothers.

This is why we need the Harlem Globetrotters are going to be come along on this adventure. Look, we signed evil, can evil do gosh, right? We got a lot of in the movie. We've got Rip Taylor here. He's going to need to use confetti. That's part of his bit right at the end of the movie. Figure out a justification for a wise confetti. I look, do I know why we cast Mike DeCoccus in Roll TBD for the movie?

No, just find a place to stick them, I don't care. So, yeah, there's this nerdy guy who is just conicaly. He's just like this functionary character. He's a constant, but he's the constant tag along Stowei, who does his useless and just kind of is like, what do I do here? I will just, hmm, here we go again. Exactly. He manages by touching this orb to activate it.

And the orb turns on and goes, oh, I recognize your organic signature. You're humans. I learned your primitive language. Anyway, I'm from this planet where survivors of the aliens go. Here's what they do. They steal cores.

This is our refugee planet. We got all this technology and stuff. Any who you got to protect me. It is the most blatant exposition dump and the orb is not even trying to put it across. It is just, it might, you might have well used just like a speech, a text to speech, probably. And don't worry, it's exciting because the orb is a giant white ball with a black line in the middle.

So it's, the visual productions are astounding. But so what they find out is, if the alien queen finds this orb, then the alien queen is going to learn the location of the refugee planet. And that's it for any civilization that's not evil aliens. It's basically like in the Matrix when the Matrix robots find out where what is it? What is Babylon? What the fuck they call the place where all the humans live? Is it called Zion? No, it's Zion, right. It's the same thing. Babylon and Zion are the exact opposite concepts.

Literally the exact opposite concepts. You know what I mean? The thing from the Matrix is the same as the thing from this. Yeah, I guess so. Or it's the same as in the ex files when it turned out there were rebel aliens fighting the evil conspiracy aliens. And if you and the evil, wait I don't know, under just keep... The evil aliens will give you the black oil. The rebel aliens had their faces melted shut,

so the black oil couldn't get in them. So were the evil aliens trying to find out the secret base of the rebel aliens so they could wipe it all out? Probably, same as in Star Wars or whatever. Oh right. Star they're like. Star Killer bass. Now that I've been activated, the alien queen will notice my radiation and they go and Jeff Goldblum puts his fingers together as Jeff Goldblum does. Oh, fascinating, interesting. Perhaps if we could set up, much like old blue from earth girls are easy impression that would be like If we set up a trap here perhaps we could do to them what they did Do us hmm a bit bundle fly

Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh-uh, uh-uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh Ernie cofax, other roles that he's playing, you know. Let's go fast. Yes. So now there's the cup. So we're like, we need somebody to lead the aliens over here. We're going to create this box that gives off the same signal as the orb. We need someone to go on a suicide mission to bring it out into the desert and then when the alien queen gets to it, set off a cold fusion nuke, so that, which is something we have now. Love it, yeah.

And destroy it, and we'll use one of our TK space shields to control the blast. And the present starter is like, Sounds good to me. I'll, hey, it's a no-dummer plan then when we just threw a hundred ships at it and expected them to do the job. And the present starter is like, I'll do it.

And the present goes, I'll do it. And the president goes, no. And he's shaved his beard. That's how you know it's serious. It's like Bruce Wayne in the beginning, dark night returns when he's shaved his mustache off and you're like, should he's gonna be Batman again? He shaved off his beard, he's like, I'll do it.

I'm the best one for the job. I'm the only one who can do it. He's like, wait a minute. You are at least 30 to 40 years or older than every other one of these pilots. Your eyesight must be shit. You need a walking stick or a cane to walk. Like your reflexes and your coordination

is gonna be bad. Like your bones are probably brittle. You just shaved so your face is all sensitive. You are the worst person to fly this mission. Also, whenever he gets near aliens, he starts to freak out and his head hurts. And they potentially can take control of his body. You know now.

And they and they should have been like, dude, your speeches are the only thing that motivates people to fight aliens. If we lose you, and another alien attack comes, we found out a lot of the information about the aliens from the time the president snuck into a secret chamber, released an alien that was in captivity and let the alien choke him out for a while and inhabit his brain, which was crazy. Oh yeah, the Area 51 secret alien prison. Yeah.

Anywho, he gets into that space tow truck with the thing in it and the bombs goes off to the desert. Meanwhile, Judhersh, we haven't talked about him in a while. He is trying to get to his son at Area 51. They haven't talked in a while. And he makes a big deal about that because we haven't forgotten that he's Jewish. So he has to always be nudging his son about things.

He has gotten so much more Jewish. In the first movie, he was like, he's just a Jewish guy. In this one, I swear. Hey, I'm just a Jewish guy, huh? His accent has gotten so much more old world. It's like, wait a minute. So are you from the old country? Like what's going on?

Do I love him? For 25 years, I've slept with him, fought with him, starved with him. 25 years, my bed is his. If that's not love what is for you love me. I do. And I suppose I love you to it doesn't change a thing.

But even so after 25 years. That's the arrangement from the movie. It's nice to know. So the weird thing is the difference between have we left nothing much, only an attempt. So have any six strong bones led the big parade? You had to go to the most goyish musical there is. only Anna. Have any six strong bones led the big parade? You had to go to the most Goyish musical there is.

The, it was fun to see the difference between when L.A. sings the letter songs and steward and Dan check their phones or just moan. And that performance where we're like, oh yeah, we like that thing. You're right. Well, it's a beautiful song from a great show.

So, John Hersh has picked up a, literally, a school bus full of children. It's like, let's drive him into danger. He's driving across the desert to Area 51. And the alien mothership shows up, humans shoot it down. Oh no, the plan works. Bill Pullman sacrifices life, blows it up. But uh oh, the alien queen emerges.

She had her own shield. And she is 50 feet tall, 60 feet tall, and this is where the movie, to be honest, I really started enjoying. But because you have a giant alien running through the desert just batting down jet fighters with her hands. And that, well, part of it is that- And holding a laser gun that must be 300 feet long.

Yeah, but it's the exact same design. It's the other. It was just like they took it and used an in-baganin ray and just made it bigger. But it also, part of what made it fun is that this whole scene of the alien queen galloping across the white sand dunes is one of the rare scenes that has a fair amount of like difference in color tones.

You're not just in this like super dark, super dank-ass, moist weed pile. Well, you're either in a wet swampy mothership or you're in an underground bunker. There's very little natural light in this movie. And we forgot to mention that the humans that are trapped in the bunker, they manage to steal some alien ships through the diversion of the Hemsworth just peeing in front of a bunch of aliens.

And they're so appalled by this that I guess they can't take their eyes off of it and see that humans getting into the ship. Why would a being just get rid of fluid like that? That's valuable moisture. We recycle it for our in-spaces. That thing is swamps. Hemsworth is now on the on the alien sex offenders list. Yeah, for exposing himself.

Public exposed. Well he has to show up in alien small claims court for his ticket for public urination. He has to knock on every spaceship, tell them that he's living in the neighborhood. I would have loved it if they were going to that alien rice paddy swamp. And there's a bunch of like alien hicks swamp people. Well, like alien slaves from other races that they've enslaved. That would have been cool. That's basically seen from profit.

Yeah, that's true. I was thinking more online of like even within the alien ship, there's this hierarchy of like, there's the sophisticated aliens and then there's like the country cousins who hang out in the swamp area and just live in shacks hunting Nutria playing banjos. I don't believe in alien queens. I want to vote for alien billionaire man. I'm living off the grid in this mothership. But anyway the alien queen is just galom thing through the desert and everyone's shooting missiles at her and laser beams. The president's daughter is finally shooting things in her jet plane. And eventually they blow up the alien queen and her armor splits open and her gooey body flies out. No, that was great.

Not only was this a giant alien monster running around on the white sands of what? New Mexico? Yeah, like Anthony Hopkins and the world's fastest Indian. Yeah, but when this alien queen dies, yeah, yeah, it is, right? It squirts out all kinds of juice all over the place. Because as you remember, the aliens are shell bodies with like moist, fleshy, their real selves inside. Yeah, it's like a tiny little turd in there.

Because you know what it is? It's like, they little turd in there. Because you know what it is, it's like, they're afraid to be vulnerable. And that's, if anything, that's worse than being vulnerable. You know it's weird is why did the humans, when they put them aliens in jail? Why did they put them in jail in that armor? Why did they leave it in the same way

that in old comic books, you'll see the bad guy in his costume in a jail cell. And you're like, this guy's powers are completely wrong. Why are you thinking as soon? Why didn't you take that off of him? Why would you put the shocker in his costume in a jail cell. And you're like, this guy's powers are completely wrong. Why are you thinking? Why didn't you take that off of it? Why would you put the shocker in his costume in a cell? There's literally in the first appearance of the vulture.

The last panel I think is him in a jail cell in his costume. And it's like, you know he has no power. He's just an old man, right? Take that costume off of him. If you take the scorpion's tail off his body, he's just a weird bald guy. He is, I think, surgically attached to that tail. That would be horrible to remove it from him,

but those are the lengths we're going to have to take. It's like, there's a book, there's a little golden book that Sammy has that's Marvel superhero characters. And there's a scene where the Avengers are taking Ultron to jail, and Ultron's got his hands behind him like they're handcuffed, and these look at his look at his face like and they're just pushing him

and it's like, I kinda, this takes a lot of the mystique away from Ultron if they can just frog march him into a jail cell. Anywho, maybe they powered him down. So, at the same time, that nerdy guy, we were talking about. The basic one. Killing him though, right?

I guess so. That nerdy guy we're talking about before, he's befriended the African warlord, who's macheteed some aliens together, and he's turned into an alien shooting badass who uses lasers to shoot them. Brent Spiner has seen his boyfriend, his life partner die in front of his eyes, which has given him grief rage abilities, which make him an excellent marksman at shooting aliens with lasers.

Again, one of the only scenes that had any emotional impact, although then Brent Spider and the very nice scene went back to just being excited to be talking to this orb. I mean, wouldn't you be? It's a cool orb. But it's, and so anyway, long story short. So wait a minute. You're saying the scene that had emotional impact was when Brent Spider picked up an alien rifle and he's like, whoa, and he just started blasting all the aliens is like, I guess we're're just gonna start filing through the door into a halo with a ring laser fire. This is one of those movies, do you? The aliens are brilliant tactical soldiers

until it's time for them to start losing. And then they're the keystone cops bubbling into each other and knocking each other down. The everyone blows up everything. And Brent Spiner shows up. That's the Taiwanese title for this movie, actually. Yeah, well, Chino and J-Base, everything blows up everything. Wow.

The day has been saved. Earth is once again free, even though it's maybe a billion people less than it was before. And Brent, and they're like, we did it. Oh, that's pretty good. And Brent, everyone kisses. Everyone has a partner to kiss because like a Shakespeare play, it ends with the reassertion of societal norms and couples coming together in the natural order of things. I have expected the woman from Alien vs predator and uh... predator for me show up in case each other that point there's a part of both steward nighat said that her stones around kisses the bus

if that nerdy bureaucrat kisses that african warlord this is the best movie i mean it was also out that fact that there was a gay relationship in it was was nice to have i would but I was like we were saying So Will Smith's son in the movie. It's not really a son with the character son and the Hemsworth are old friends Who had a falling out because one guy caused trouble for the other one in training and So it's what and that friendship nothing has ever really made much of it and it would have been so much more powerful If they had been lovers and I'd had a falling out and it would have been so much more powerful if they had been lovers and it had a falling out.

And it's like, oh, yeah, this is now, this is 20 years since the last one, like they're two openly gay guys who were in the, both in the military and the relationship part. Well, and part of the strain would be that he, they were lovers at one point and now he's engaged to the former president's daughter. Yeah. That's going to cause some like spice to this. This is a new side view that I'm not used to seeing, but that doesn't happen.

They're just old pals. They're old friends just like Simon and Garfunkel hate each other now. Brent Spiner goes up to, I don't know, Jeff Goldblum and is like, hey, I was just talking to this orb. We're gonna do some, he want, they want us to lead the resistance against the big aliens. Get ready for some interstellar travel.

And I think the last line is literally, we're gonna kick some big alien ass cut to credits. And it was like, the movie is begging you to ask for a third one. Were you see that happening? But it was like, I'm good. But also like with the facts that like there is not gonna be a third one probably based on the

middleing performance of this. That's the wackiest in for a movie. Just feel like- I'm just like the end of ocean. No, just like now we're gonna go beat them up. Cut. It's like the ending of the Super Mario Bros. movie, where they're like, well, we did it.

And then Princess Peach shows up with a big laser and is like, or maybe it's a big automatic weapon. It's like, you guys, we need your help. There's a bigger problem. And it says to be continued, never made a sequel. Don't know what that was all about. I have to assume they failed. And that's why no one made a movie about it.

Marry and Luigi's heads are adorning the castle parapets of Bowser Jr. It's like how originally back to the future. The originally the end of back to the future was just meant to be the end of back to the future. They were not gonna make sequels. So when he came, it comes in, he's like, Marty, you gotta come with me.

We gotta save your kids. Yeah, like, it's- We're going, we don't need roads. Yeah, we just like- Well, we do much of the time, actually. I exaggerated. In the future cars can fly, but we do still have land-based roads.

And we want to- And we want to hire roads too, because we need to have some-based roads. And we want to have- And we want to have roads too because we need to have some sort of air traffic control. We need some sort of traffic pattern or else cars are just flying wheelie-neally. Also, quick note, I should have told this you this ahead of time. You can't hover over water unless you've got power.

I don't know what it means either, but everyone says it around here. Also, remember Max Headroom? I didn't think you would. It's huge. And there's a magical sports almanac that gives somebody super powers. I don't know that's exactly what happens. It grabs onto it and he says, he says, power of sports.

Clot to Brata, Nick too, or some shit. And then a bunch of robots show up and then, uh-oh. Vampires. So there's, so we are left hanging on an adventure into space that will most likely never happen. Where's just Brent Spiner, Jeff Goldloom, Judd Hirsch and the gang. It's so great to like every character that's, it's basically every character from the movie shows up. They're standing outside and outside in this movie means on a soundstage. Yeah. So obviously on a green screen. On a green screen.

Green screen soundstage. On a city green screen soundstage. Yeah, they're not like at like a fucking just sound stage and you can see like boom mics and fucking chat lights hanging that. Just flats piled up behind. So basically and they like they basically all are like, wait a minute, we can go to outer space and invite some aliens.

Why not? And they all like give each other like high fives and thumbs up and crack some fucking beers. It's like the end of like simmer down, dudes. You guys just had a fucking crazy adventure. There were lives lost. Why don't we take a second to regroup? Let's take a second to remember that the world is in chaos right now and the earth's governments have been decimated.

Let's set up. You can control them with an iron fist now that you have the omnipresent threat of alien invasion. And also because you can channel your chi into your fist to make it as hard as iron, Danny Rand. You learned it in Kunlun. They didn't see any shirt coming soon to Netflix. All right. Come on guys. We're playing the game where you don't know the reference. It's time to do our final judgments on this movie.

Whether it was a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie kind of like Stewart, I see you powing at your beer sadly because it's gone. What do you have to say about this movie? Like a Stuart with a beer that's gone. I felt kind of empty after finishing this movie. There was not a ton to it. It moved at a super good clip. I was hoping that there was going to be more wacky shit and there was a lot of stupid, terrible crap. It's a very dumb movie, but I don't, I mean, I like the scene where the alien was like galloping around being a crazy giant alien queen. Maybe it was a good bad, it's so close to just a bad, bad to a good bad. I don't know. I am going to go out on an alien-sized limb, a 3,000 mile limb,

and say that for the wrong reasons, this is a movie I kind of liked. And I'll tell you why. It felt like I was watching a movie made out of the cutscenes of a game that I wasn't playing, like I just put in the cutscene mode, or I was watching some of watching, I was watching like, there's some Japanese TV show that ran for 13 episodes,

but they are gonna distribute it in American theaters as a movie and try to chop it down to two hours. It moved so fast and it was so dumb and it was so overpacked with nonsense. And by the time that alien, the giant alien queen was running around the desert, I was like, all right movie, you're super stupid, but I'm enjoying myself. So on a, on a genuine level, like not on an ironic level, unlike this is genuine garbage

that I'm enjoying. In many ways, more than the first one, because it was 10 times stupider, 10 times faster. And every time I started getting bored, something else would happen. The one thing I didn't like were the scenes where the gravity was destroying whole cities and stuff like that. I found that. You know, like seeing all of humans' achievements just decimated by stupid aliens.

I found that genuinely troubling, and it may just be that I've had like a pit in my stomach for since last night. I think we're all working to work in through some shit. Yeah, but it was like, I found that genuinely displeasing and troubling, but there was something like, I really enjoyed about watching that alien queen running through the desert with that blue sky behind it

and the white sand underneath it. And you didn't hear like, keep running, you do. Yeah, it's keep running, you know, breaking away. Breaking away too, electric alien boogaloo. But they're like, and it was the only well choreographed action scene of the whole movie where I knew where the fighter jets were in comparison to the alien, and as stupid as it was,

like that scene worked for me. So I'm gonna say I kinda like this movie even though I'm just, it is dumb. It's dumb as a vaguest. And I feel like, you know, they did try and sneak in a couple of like inspiring, bullshit inspiring speeches, but they didn't go on that long.

No. So you don't feel like, like, come on guys, fuck off. The first independent stay had a little bit of the trouble that Olympus has fallen has where it's like, you guys know this didn't happen, right? Like this is all fictional, and I'm not gonna have a real emotional response to earth free itself from aliens in this way because this is not a real battle that happened this movie not for a moment

try to create emotional stance against all of fiction don't try and trick me movie that is ever happened it's more's more like an emotional response. No, no, when a movie has the genuine emotional heft to have an emotional response is one thing. But when it's a dumb action movie, but they're gonna have a scene in it where they're like,

damn it, you're gonna be proud of America for the way we handled this alien invasion. Like, I'm gonna save that for when I watch a movie about a real thing or a movie that is about characters that I feel about, you know. As opposed, like, but this movie, not for a moment. It was like, you want some dumb stuff. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.

But wait, the moment when you see... And now we're gonna tease the dumbest movie ever made. What about the scene where you shoot a bunch of Tibetan monks sitting around in an old radio, and they're like, listening into the president, and have a private conversation with this joint chiefs of staff. Yeah, even that seemed pretty, pretty phoned in. You guys have jabbered on a long time, so I'm just going to quickly say, good, great dance

favor. I can't go with you guys. It's all. I had more fun watching this than a lot of bad bad movies, but I still feel like the movie cut out everything that could have given me any reason to care about any of the characters. And I don't know whether, I don't know, I actually guess I don't know whether that's a good or bad thing because the fact that they cut all that shit out meant that the movie went so fast. But at the same time, I couldn't, I couldn't care less about anything that happened in the movie. I will

say that on the emeric scale, it's better than like... Which is what, how they measure farts? Yeah. It's better than Schlock like a 2000BCU or Godzilla. Shlok like 10,000 BC or Godzilla. I liked stupider movies, I think even in this like 2012. I still like it in 2012, yeah. Yeah, I lived it four years ago. What movies should I go see this weekend? Should I care about the Emmys? Is this meme already dead?

Is VR cool? What happened to Choose Your Infantrable? I think our doshians fared real. For answers to these questions and so much more, come on over to Paw Rocket, a Paw Culture Roundtable show with me, Guy Brana. Winters Mitchell, Margaret Wopler, and Oliver Wang. Catch us every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org,

or wherever you decide to get your podcast. I'm not gonna judge. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, before we get into sponsors,

I have an exciting announcement, which is, uh, on Saturday, February 11th, Maximum Fun, you know them. That's our podcasting network. Yeah, also a ton of great shows. Lots of great podcasts are home, too. them, that's our podcasting network. Yeah, also a ton of great shows. Lots of great podcasts are home to. They're bringing something called very, very fun day to Chicago's Thalya Hall for an unforgettable day of laughs.

VVFD, as I'm calling it, will feature the Maximum Fun Podcast judge John Hodgman. He's got a very French judge. John Hodgman. Jordan also boo. Jordan Jesse go. Yay. Us the flop house. Oh, no, Ross and Kerry.

Yeah. Tights and fights and stop podcasting yourself. Awesome. Along with other festivities, including local podcasts, the nerdette, friendship and reclaimed soul and stand up comedy sets from local comics, the nerd at, Friendshiping and Reclaimed Soul, and stand-up comedy sets from local comics, Q&A's and more all spread across Thalia Hall's three spaces.

Tickets that will be on sale Friday, November 11th, that'll be the day before this is dropping, actually, so they will be on sale right now. If they're not already sold out, you got to get on it, because that's a really good. That's a great lineup. That's a great line up That's a great lineup. There's regular tickets. There's VIP tickets which at the very least give you guaranteed seating guaranteed sex with any of the hosts

If they're named Dan guaranteed sex with any of the hosts sounds like a really bad showtime series So that's what date is it February 11th? February 11th? February 11th in Chicago. 2017. July 11th, Chicago or the Chicago land area. Watch out for that. I'll put up a link on the website so we can buy tickets.

If I forget to do that, just go to maxmanfund.org. I think we're, are we doing a, are we doing a rift show or are we doing a lot? We're doing a rift show. Rift one of our rare rift shows. So we're gonna be screening a movie We're gonna be making jokes and it will not be recorded for posterity It's one of those like things that millennials love where you're like paying for the like experience as opposed to a Product or an object I I mean I call theater, I guess I don't know what it called like most things

Yeah, like that. Most things. Like every human experience before 100 years ago, I guess. But yeah, it should be a lot of fun. We're going to be blowing a lot of laughs in the windy city. And there's nothing more pleasant than Chicago in February. I kind of like Chicago winters because they really test you. I mean, I, all right. I mean, I also famed comedian Chicago winters. I mean, I come from Illinois. So I know that like there's a very special, come from the land of the Isans, no Illinois. I know that there's a very special kind of

frigid that the center of the country achieves, but also here in New York, we have some pretty miserable winters and I have enough, I've had enough suffering through winters to, it's no longer a novel. Pull an Arthur C. Clark and move to wherever he lived. Bangladesh or Sri Lanka or something. All right. Yeah, that's good. You can write a bunch of books about robots and enjoy wearing a fucking so wrong all

the time. All of this now great. Put a nice bucket on your head like Dr. Moro. All of this now great. I'm in a warm climate. I'm writing about robots, which is fun. It goes. I'm wearing loose fitting comfortable clothes. Yeah, yeah.

It goes sit on a paint. And no man would have your little version of you playing a small piano on top of it. No man can judge you nor beast. You're the giver of the law, not the reader of the law. All right. So very, very fun day. We're all looking forward to it. Yeah, it'll be nice.

So but we do have some sponsors for the show. Slap out. Slap out. Slap out. Slap out. Slap show. Slap house. Slap house. Time. Thanks for that, jingle. The flop house sponsored in part by Zip Procruber. Are you hiring?

Yes. As Dan, seriously. Yeah, sure. Yes. Do you know where do you know where to post your job to find the best candidates? No, I'm that's Yeah, I'll be honest. Do you know where to post your job to find the best candidates? No, that's what you're here for. You can't find the quality candidates

but just post your job in one place. That would be absurd. That's true. We had a terrible look with using one specific place. Well, we were mostly writing it on the walls of one urinal. Mm-hmm. One urinal, so really half walls. You wrote it on the walls of one urinal. And one urinal, so really have walls.

You wrote it on the back of those Dan Stevens will play your guitar or whatever it is. Dan Stevens will play your guitar. The guy from Don Addy. We'll play your guitar. Yeah, because it's, we'll teach you guitar. We'll teach you guitar. So is it Dan Stevens before he got the chin implant or after he got the chin implant? After. Okay. After.

Okay. Yeah. I want to, I'll look at his back and see the thing I wrote on it. Now, now he's got a chin implant. He puts it under his chin like a violin. That's how he plays the guitar. I feel like we're going to be off the topic of zip code. Oh, okay.

Sorry. The point is you can't just post your job in one place. If you want to find the perfect hire, you need to post your job on all of the top job sites. And with Zippercrooter, you can with zippercrooter.com, you can post your job to 100 plus job sites, including social media networks, like Facebook and Twitter, all with a single click. So right now our listeners can post jobs on Zippercrooter for free by going to zippercrooter.com slash first. That's zippercrooter.com slash first. One more time to try for free go to zippercrooter.com slash first. Yep, because we're the first house. Now, as a small business owner, I can attest that using various internet sites, supposed jobs can be real pain in the ass.

And as somebody who works mainly in the service industry and not on the tech, in the tech field, in the tech war. Things definitely don't work in the tech war, tech field. In the tech war. Things, definitely don't work in the tech war. Not anymore. That was a different steward. That was a lifetime ago. But the, it's like a lot of that shit is confusing for me.

And the sites that I used to post on, those aren't the ones that people use anymore. Like ser.com, the DeS anymore. Like seared.com, through Dr. Am. Yeah, through Dr. Am. DeSnighter Strangeland. Yeah, I post on those. Yeah, the game.org.

I get, I usually get like 404 error errors and stuff. You get a lot of jigsaw's of mine. Yeah, yeah, I get responses with links to geosities. Geosities. Where's it geosities? I can't, I don't know is it geosities? I can't Geosities, but I don't know that no one ever officially introduced me geosities Geosity ratings were on the chart. Oh, no, man during the lights off

Somebody call the parents until I'm not to come home So yeah, you zippercruiter went up Somebody call the parents and tell them not to come home. So yeah, you ziffer Cruder, why not? Why not? Why not indeed a powerful endorsement? Second, thanks, Bob, there's a night. The flop house is supported in part by Squarespace. Oh, no, no, Squarespace. Whether you need a landing page, a beautiful gallery, a professional

blog, or an online store, it's all included with your Squarespace website. Dan, may I have a question? Yeah. Oh. I have a website I'm trying to get off the ground. Okay. And I want to know Squarespace to be able to help me. Okay. Now it's- That's probably yes, but go on. Now it's called KeepItMoldy.com. And it's to help you keep things moldy. Your basement, maybe your clothes, if you don't drive them properly. For a second I was really concerned that it was keep them moldy. And I'm like I already got that fucking website. So I'm glad that you changed it though. No, it's keepitmoldy.com. Now, here's my pitch. We all love mold, who doesn't?

It's soft, it smells good. It makes cheeses. It's full of nutrition, makes cheese right there wherever you want it to. But sometimes it's hard to keep a moldy, you know? Well, I'll just try to keep a moldy in this world. And today, it's hard to the never in America to keep a moldy.

So my site is kind of like tips, different ideas about things you can do with mold. I mean, our most of the tips just make it damp. So you've seen the site. I mean, I'm familiar with your work. So I want to host it and I want people to be able to look at it on their phone, on their iPad, on their laptop.

We're everything to keep something moldy. Maybe they're in a basement. They don't want to carry it on a laptop with them. Just look on their phone, you know. Is there a section called dank tips on how to keep tips on how to keep things nice and dank and damp? Yes. And those two. There is a section called that. Do you live in my proposal? Or is there a leak drive it? Is there a corporate sabotage at work here? Because here at Moldco, we take our corporate secrets very seriously. Yeah.

Well, this sort of, how can I only take advantage of Squarespace? Yeah, for keepemoldy.com. It's easy. You can create your website with Squarespace. With a simple intuitive process, you can add and arrange your content and features with the click of a mouse. Squarespace makes it a simple intuitive process. You can add in a ranger content and features with the click of a mouse.

Squarespace makes it easy to add a domain to your site. Keep emoldy.com. If you sign up for a year, you'll receive custom domain for free. For a year. For a year. For a year or org. I mean, I want the dot com is really where it's at.

Yeah, you're already off most people's radar if you have the other ones. Maybe like keep emoldy.xxx, but that's a different type of. Yeah. If you get the link to like dot bizzier, like, fuck, you're like, is this even real? Dot pizza. Is that real?

Yeah. If I click on that, I, I better get a whole pizza. I think that's what I'm saying myself up for more my money back. There is, there is a dot pizza right. You know, whole pizza or your money back. We got to change the promotion. People are just leaving a little bit dot pizza right. You know, whole pizza, or your money back. We gotta change the promotion. People are just leaving a little bit of pizza over. We gotta give them the money back.

It's not a big deal. Are you laughing because you've never heard somebody do an Italian accent speech talking about pizza before? I'm just like, why is he talking all funny? Wait a minute, I guess Italian people do make pizzas. Is that how elves sound? Among other things, there's great customer support with Squarespace, 24.7 customer support.

In fact, every member of the customer care team is an experienced Squarespace user working in a Squarespace office. Look, I don't need to sell this to you anymore. The point is, start your free child today at square space. Start your free child today. Start your one child today.

Well, I have to do is get someone pregnant. It's totally free. I mean, there are many costs. Well, afterwards, but the pregnancy, the conception is free. Sure, yeah, I guess so. Yeah, okay, good point. Mm-hmm.

Right, if it cost a lot. Start your free child today. Adam and Eve would be like, how do we pay for this money? Has been invented yet? I guess can we trade Apple ribs? Snakescails. I only have a certain number of ribs. If I keep ripping them out, you'll be like a real Maryland man zone. Geo cities continue. Dan, start your free trial today at Squarespace. Squarespace. Squarespace.com. Squarespace.

Squarespace. Slash flop. To get 10% off your first purchase, that's squarespace.com. Slash flop. To get 10% off your first purchase. And that's keepinmoldy.com. To keepinmoldy. We're doing a good job keeping these ads pretty tight guys. We're not tightin' bright. We're not tightin' bright. We're not tightin' bright. We're not tightin' moldy.com to keep moldy. We're doing a good job keeping these ads pretty tight guys.

Yeah, tighten price. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave.

I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave.

I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not even brave. I'm not to set me up classic T-ball style, and I'm gonna wind up with the baseball bat like Casey. And slug a home run. Casey's running out. No, Casey lost. Gonna knock it in the next week, like old Casey.

No, Casey lost. Then he started out on a train and turned it to a ghost or something. So this message is for Drew, last name with hell. Barrymore. And the message is from David, last name with hell. Very more. And the message is from David last name with held. Boreannis. Oh, wow.

There an item. Okay. A many gorgeous friends. Here's our message. Congrats on the new kid. Now you have three, which is great because three rocks, triangles, primary colors, Martian prostitute boobs from the movie Total Recall.

Story checks out. The Holy Trinity. Three is central to them all. Not to mention, it's the number of original peaches on the world's most important podcast. Is this a jumbo tron promoting us, I guess? Well, it's promoting this new kid. Anyway, anyhow, any who may the Lord bless and protect you and may kneel, bring some day portray you in a film,

which is, I think, the highest honor somebody can hope for somebody else to receive. We have another similar Jumbo Tron message, the night, this is a message for Nathan, Carly and Baby My Low. I think it's Browns Carly. This message is from Mark and Trace, last name with Held, and it goes like this.

So is it? A huge congratulations. I assume it has to be Trace but you. A huge congratulations to you guys on bringing your new baby into the world. I'm hoping that getting the flappers to say, way to go guys. Way to go guys. Way to go guys. Way to go guys on bringing your new baby into the world. I'm hoping that getting the flappers to say, way to go guys. Way to go guys.

Way to go guys. Way to go guys. It's a better gift than baby clothes and diapers. If not, I'm sure they'll honor a refund. Love you guys. And I want to say congratulations to all these people on bringing these new lives into the world because what's most important in this life?

Family. Truly. If it's moved, if it's really family man. If it's a research and tell us anything. It's that everybody's somebody's kid Yeah, even if they're not in the movie and we're just in the first Congratulations, you're no fun to tell somebody David and Before we get into letters and whatnot. I just want to shout out that today The day that this episode is coming out is Saturday, November 12th. Is that right?

Does that check out? Yes. And I just want to say a special shout out to my buddy, Alex Smith, who is a guest on this show, and he's my co-host on the super popular podcast, Till Death Do Us, Pup-Pup Party, an exploration of Death Leopard through the ages. It is by far the best death leopard podcast with the dumbest name. The hardest to search name. That's our podcast. That's our podcast.

Not spelled like those words just spelled. And I just want the day this episode comes out, he's going to be getting married to a girl that is way better than him. So he should feel bad about that. And I just want to say if you get a chance to say congratulations to him, you totally should because he's an awesome guy. Oh, congratulations. Congratulations. That's what I was called action, dude.

Oh, he failed. So that's what I'm I graduated him on a little episode of tell deaf deaf to his party. It's lepisode. I'm not sure whether it'll be out or not by the time this, who knows, but I guess it on an episode. Oh, wow. You just gave everybody a little bit of a peek behind the curtain of a different podcast. And that's what our podcast needs more. It needs more. It needs more.

It needs more. It needs more. It needs more audience engagement opportunities. Well, they could always go and download Presidents or people too. My series for Audible. Would you have a hashtag for that? Hashtag Presidents or people too? Oh, okay. Hashtag PAPT.

Can we just, I couldn't do that. Hey, in my, in my life, was that five words, turning them into just letters? Just four words. But yes, that's almost five. Making an acronym out of four words is pretty like, I don't know, I've had a couple of beers that's late at night, I'm impressed.

Thank you, I appreciate that. So Dan, what's the next part of this podcast? Oh, I'm sorry. I was taking a yawning break the next time. That's the next part of this podcast? Oh, I'm sorry. I was taking a yawning break the next time. Next part of the next. You say we get a yawning break every hour. The next part of this podcast is letters from listeners. Listeners like you, mm-hmm. Perhaps. Did you write a letter? If you did, maybe. If not, probably not. That's the way letters work. Anyway, it's time for the letters every now and then letter arrives that you never thought would come. Maybe you thought it'd be impossible

for this letter to get to you. It's not a good letter. It's not a letter that you want to read. It's going to cause trouble for you. Trouble for others. Trouble for a lot of things. It's a letter that you want to read. I don't know it's gonna cause trouble for you, trouble for others, trouble for a lot of things. It's a letter that might make you sad, it might make you mad, it might make you feel bad. And then you look at the people you love, you look at the world and you realize this is just one of those letters and you'll see plenty of letters. There's going to be so many letters, so many letters, so many letters. Someday you'll look at this letter, it'll make a shiver to remember this letter, to remember the day that you read it, but you'll be glad that it's gone now. And there have been so many

letters to send to this letter. Can't hurt you at all anymore. So remember in the early days when LA was doing them letter songs, any rhyme letter with a lot of other words. Now it just rhymes. It was let reverse, just reverse stuff. I also like the way when Dan set him up, Elliot just kind of shrugged his shoulders. He's like, fuck it, I guess I'll sing a song today. I never expected. I never expected out of it. I mean, I know that sometimes it's just sometimes I just don't feel it. That one was a metaphor. So it's weird Dan right now is checking porn hub. No, I got a Lisa and still the number one rate star. Yep. Okay. So I guess my work is not got to go research project over.

I got a I got a number one rated. Wow. She's put in the time, I guess. I run by up JD power and associates. I got him JD porn star and associates gives Lisa and their top rating for the third year in a row. Wow. In fuel efficiency and overall control. Oh, actually, wait, wait, reading this now again, it seems there's a problem with the breaks on the on Lisa and we're going to have to recall that.

Oh boy, this is terrible. JD Powered Associates are pulling their awards. She got a lot of mileage out of that Sarah Palin impression she did. It's very much so. Yeah. She did not. I didn't. She's not that much like Sarah Palin.

You know what Dan? Why? I am amazed that you are taking umbridge at the accuracy of this porno. Was she ever was she ever a Liz lemon in a 30 rock pair? Probably it would have been called 30 cock and probably not dirty cock. No, actually probably would have been called like 30 crock 30 rock XXX

uphorn pair years because they ran out of imagination because the world of porn is without imagination. You don't want to read it and be like 30 cock not interest. I don't want to watch too and be like 30 cock, not interest. And I don't want too many for me. That's too many for me. Yeah, without the ex, like the triple ex you're like, I don't know if this is for me. 30 chickens in a room. No, thank you.

They're gonna just peck each other. No, I got an email from my meditation app saying, the post, the post election meditation we all need for healing immunity So, so that's why you Into you stopped doing the segment that we were about. Yeah, I can take a session for me about compassion meditation to remind us of our Common humanity our shared hopes and how to press on where to go. Is this some kind of wait? Is this kind of stealth ad? Are you doing a stealth spin-off?

First like when more appeared on Happy Days? LMI, Lay Our Souls there, to do this stupid ass porn star bit. And you're reading it on YouTube. Do I want people to know that I have this much knowledge about how porn works? No, of course not. I'm the one who objected to the accuracy of the pornography.

I think I'm implicated as much as anyone. I've got to say, I'm impressed that you can both read an email from your meditation app and take a complaint about various porn stories. It makes me think the meditation app is not working. If it's not able to clear your mind enough for you to lose this how old, four-year-old grudge against a porn out against,

I know, more than four years. This eight-year grudge against the accuracy of a porn. Not a chameleon says Dan McCoy. Denierlin raging bull. I don't think so. Lisa Ann fails to disappear into the character of Sarah Palin. No marbles dreams as Dan McCoy in the porn fest be in review quarterly. All right. Let's let it happen to the days. Now that we've used a ball of our

goodwill, let's do the segment Elliot saying a song about like an hour ago The letters are here This so glad I wasn't drinking or I would have been a spit take on dance computer and then he would have banned me from being in his apartment This is a Charles band. This is from David last name withheld. Oh, my brother probably. I'll just read the letter and then I'll say something about it afterwards. That's the way it normally works. Is this the kind of letter that I shouldn't interrupt

because there's something saying in it? No, I don't know. Okay. Hello, Peaches. Does that happen sometimes? And I feel bad at it for it. Hello, Peaches. I want to thank you for helping me

through a difficult time. As a TV news journalist, I spent the last year fretting over the 2016 election. But the past four weeks up through election night were particularly brutal. Magzide was at an all-time high. And one way I coped was by listening to your back catalog nonstop.

No matter how bad things got, hearing you almost made me, always made me feel better and help me take my mind off things. And I don't know how I would have made it without you. While I'm here, I have a Kaiju related question for Elliot. How much screen time should monsters get in a Kaiju film? A common complaint about Godzilla movies is how much time the film's dedicated to human characters rather than a titular monster. Is there a solution to this? How much

monster screen time is too much or too little? Thanks again David last name withheld. Now, Elliot sort of spoiled this earlier in the podcast, not knowing that there would be a letter about this, but we got a lot of messages from people saying, Oh, yeah, my heart felt thanks. Spoiled this letter. Sorry, Dan. Again, tell me these things ahead of time. We got a little bit like if we were in, if you took me to a murder mystery dinner theater, but I didn't know, but I didn't know is dinner theater. And so I see some of the blood on their hands. I'm like, that guy's a murderer. And you're like, Elliott, I miss just for fun.

I'm in the, I'm in the spoiler sense, not that you've ruined anything. Okay, thank you. That was sweet. That sweet moment. I'll touch my arm just to be like, hey, we're cool, right? Yeah. Okay, I love you. So I miss most of that letter.

Point is, wait, hold on. Let me just say that, uh, no, we got a lot of great, uh, messages, both via email. This is just one representative one and on the Facebook group saying thanks for helping us distract them from the misery of President, sex criminal, and related election stress. No matter what side you're on. This was it.

So it was very nice to hear these sort of things This was a very particularly stressful election campaign and it will continue to be stressful and the world is in a stressful place right now and Not to sound this is the kind of thing that I feel like Celebrities say and it comes off really Fakie, but I don't mean it that way like I find it genuinely humbling that people Can take this kind of solace in our nonsense and that we can help people in that way and it's not in any way our intention, just speaking for myself.

Our intention is just to ourselves get together and kill a couple hours talking about independent state resurgence. Yeah, I mean, that's the main reason we Yeah, that's the main reason we still do it. But it is... We do it for our own... Chasing. Well... And the old Mula, but it's...

But for us, we use this as an opportunity to blow off steam, and a way to like find some kind of connection with a human element with each other. Mm-hmm. This is... In the sense that we're all naked and rubbing each other's knees. Constantly, with all of them. I mean, you've got that weenies cage still on,

so there's just one of the times we can rub. Like, this is the, like, this is the only regular, like, friend hanging out time I know I can roll a ion, and I know that, and it's very important to me for that reason, very meaningful to me. And if we can, if it touches other people in a way that helps them, then I'm very touched by that. And I'm very thankful for it.

Chuching. Yeah. Had to erase the sentiment somewhere. I'm really glad that we have an L.A. around so you can say things that sound genuine as opposed to me where I always sound sarcastic. Well, you sound very genuine. Or Dan who just is chitching and I don't know other stuff. Here's the thing.

That's what I do. I say other stuff. You say, you say, et cetera. All right. Here's how you learn. Well, Dan, you don't sound quite as you and I. We have a natural cadence to our voices, which sound, I don't know, sarcastic or, like you sound smug and self-satisfied all the time.

Like you're popping your collar every time you talk. I'm about to, yeah, cause you just pulled up and you're in that, in that testarosa you're dead, bought you for your 17th birthday and laughing at us. And then you drive off collar popped hot babes all over you. That's ponytail. Certainly the thing that he's got a ponytail too. He's got a 90s car phone with in a convertible.

Yeah, not sort of a monotonal, depressive sound. Oh, not at all. Now, here's how you learn how to do the Ellie Caelin emotional honesty and openness talking thing. Yeah, yeah. Is you spend a few years doing a basement comedy show in which you have no prepared material and you will instead just talk about what's going on in your life for anywhere from one to two and a half hours at a time as people fall asleep in front of you

because it's midnight. And then over time you just feel comfortable talking in front of anybody about everything. Yeah, it's like George Like George Burns said, the most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made. Classic, burn Z. Anything you want to say about Kaiju films? Oh yeah, Kaiju films. Well, it's a good question

because you always want to have less monster than you want. Too much monster and the monster loses its misstake. And the thing about the people is that they also kind of helps up the scale of the monster. Yes, very much so, not and not only in just that like they're running away, and we can see they're much smaller, but that by a monster attacking a city can be too goofy or abstract. You need some kind of life to ground it against. And it's one of the successes of the New Godzilla movie that just came out recently,

that even though the characters are fairly boilerplate, the world they're inhabiting is so realistically bureaucratic, that when a giant monster comes into it, it's genuinely terrifying, because this is a world that should not accommodate both government incompetence and bureaucratic red tape and a giant monster that can shoot laser beams out of its mouth. Something that will take advantage of that red tape. Or it's like one of the things

I loved about Pacific Rim was the during an attack in Japan where everybody was down in it, like it showed civilians in a bunker underneath the city, inner cut with shots of giant monster and robot fighting. Just to give you a sense of the fear of having to endure some kind of devastation on that. That there are people at stake and they have a real emotional response. But in terms of seeing the monster,

too little is worse than too much. The too much can sometimes be no good. And it's not a Kaiju movie, but the movie that does this the most perfectly is Alien. Alien gives you the exact right amount of the xenomorph so that you get a sense of what it looks like, but every time it shows up, it's super scary. They never give you enough time to get used to its design. Shoulda had eyes. No, it's better with that eyes.

No, shoulda had big ol' ugly eyes. Just popping out like text every wolf's. Or like just wiggling around every time it moves its head. Like, what's it looking at? Who knows? As amazing as aliens is, it's not scary because you know what the aliens are and their enemy soldiers at that point. You know, or it's more like the guerrillas. Are you saying aliens isn't scary? What about the'm just expecting that. What about the moment when he's looking at his little fucking radar thing and he's like, but they're in the room. Yeah.

But you're not seeing them at that moment. And what about a new, she's scary as hell, dude, she's a little crazy girl. No. Aliens is tense. It's nail biting, but it's not frightening the way that Paul Reiser, he's so corrupt. Yeah. My parents, my scary thing is the way. He's so corrupt. Yeah. My parents. The rise.

My scary thing is the way a man's soul can be corrupted. He was willing to sacrifice his fellow human beings for money to the day. To the day my mom says that she and my dad hate Paul Reiser and can't watch Matt about you because of Paul Reiser's performance of aliens. I can't watch Matt about you, but that's for other reasons. Mm-hmm. Because you and Helen Hunter that falling out. That's right.

I broke her in Hengers area. Uh, so this next one is from Larves Lasting with Hell. Von Shrier. Oh, wow. Hey, directing movies like Dogville, I often find that I need a relaxing thing. Have you ever watched a movie with Charlotte Gainesburg? This is how I saw it, y'all. I'm not bad with a boy.

Hey, floppers. Just a quick stop. After listening to episode 101, remind me which one it was. I looked up Al Madrigal's Lies on Illusions on the IMDb. It appears that the film was in fact such a cash grab that the poster for the film on IMDB includes the words, quote, descriptive tagline can go here at the bottom. See the attached damage for reference. Thanks for being the most podcast that exists to keep on flopping. Now I have the image here. So you can see.

Yeah, right there, right out of the title descriptive tag line I hope that's totally real that's hilarious Not much to say about that it's just Even moving Is this from grace last name with hell land? 30 million miles. What's the name? Yeah, it's the Ray Harryhausen Elvis film.

Thirty million miles to Grace Land. Go through a stargate. Grace writes, Dear Archie, you're a good cat and I love you. I know in the hierarchy of cats in the flop house, most might put you in a wofle second, but to me, you're the cat star, the best man.

He's the top cat. Such a good cat. When recommending the flop house to friends, co-workers and people on the street, I'm almost always encountered with, ugh, another bad movie podcast. Instead of waxing poetic of the mini pros and few cons of the flop house,

I just respond with a, yeah, but sometimes there's a cat in the room when they record. Haven't hooked any new fans with that yet yet Good kitty Archie such a good kitty. Thanks for keeping Dan company and for being such a good cat sincerely grace last name with help I wish you could see Elliott's face as I wrote that letter. I Enjoined it thoroughly. I'm glad that people that's people's reaction most of the time when I it thoroughly. I'm glad that people, that's people's reaction. Most of the time when I

explain what my podcast is, people say, what's a podcast or I listen to Joe Rogan's podcast. So this episode's brought to you by Joe Rogan's podcast. The Joe Rogan experiment, what the fuck's it called? Joe at a round. Joe time. It's like the number one podcast in the universe, right? Look in aliens, you use that. Those two things are what aliens base their perception of our society on. That's why when you meet, you know, you're meet an alien when he walks up and he goes, Bazinga, friends. You like that's not a real word. Anyone uses, and I don't appreciate the assumption that I know what it means. Then he puts on a fucking Joe Satcharianani tape, but I'm like, I'm not surfing with you, dude. Go on, Dan. It's the very specific alien.

I feel like the Joe Rogan experience would be like to get punched for some sort of minor misunderstanding. Yeah, I think that's gonna be the case. Yep. Yeah, Joe Rogan experiences a host to hair. Fear factor. That show was super important for a mayor.

Well, and he was on. One of my favorite shows of all time. Get some a lot of your factor. Last letter. My favorite peaches, favorite peaches. And the... Does it did a villain kidnap us? He's stroking our favorite drinks.

He stroking our hair, maybe our rosy cheeks. As we, as we feed candy in our mouths, not knowing that he's much of shovel us into, I guess, his baking oven to make us into pot pie. Delicious peaches pot pie. And the, we are your friends episode. Another Dick Tracy villain, peaches pot pie. And yeah, a lot. I have a minor deformity. We are your friends episode another Dick Tracy villain. P just pot five

Yeah, I want a minor deformity. Why are you being so mean to me, Dick Tracy? You're a crook I know it. I believe in the middle medieval assumption that the body reflects the soul While we're uh while we're talking about things that happened last episode. I want to apologize for uh Clearly road one has forced Whittaker and it's not Charles Esthutton. I was a bit scared. You said that. Elliot said, Charles Esthutton in the new movie and I was like, I'm thinking, I was like, yeah, so we both got that one wrong.

I honestly don't know much about the movie that I apologize to. They don't look alike or sound alike. One is rock, the other's the last king of Scotland, slash ghost dog. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. One is in mimic Charles is Sutton. The other one is not. He's in the crying game for us, Whitaker.

Yes. All the other correct things. But to get back to the letter. And we are your friends episode, Dan referred to a slew of letters, discussing how they once thought nothing but trouble was a fever dream. This reminded me of my one and only actual fever dream which coincidentally occurred during a movie. It was almost famous. They were playing this song fever dog by the band still water. That they only fever dream I ever had. I was so inspired by it, I wrote nothing but trouble. Signed Dan, last name withheld Acroid.

As a freshman in college, my class was required to attend, required to attend a screening of the Japanese classic Woman in the Dunes. Oh, that's on my Tivo right now, and I haven't watched it yet. I was really sick that day, but it was the only screening, so I figured I would tough through it. The next week in class. For it. The next week in class. The next week in class, we had a discussion about the movie.

I mentioned that, although I really liked the movie, the tonal shift about midway through from creepy suspense film to full-on creature feature about a giant spider attacking the characters was confusing. Apparently, my feverish brain decided to show me a different move. Claupers, have you ever had a movie experience completely altered for you, whether biologically, chemically, et cetera, sincerely Andrew last name with Held? I'm going to tell two stories off of this. One is that the experience he had sick, I've had many times healthy. I used to go to a lot of movies after work when I worked long hours of the daily show when

I was a single man, and I'd go to film, watch old after work when I worked long hours of the Daily Show when I was a single man And I would go to film form and watch old movies and I would constantly fall asleep Near the end of the movie and my brain would continue the movie for about Anywhere from five seconds to a minute and I jerk awake and the movie would not be what I just thought it was And I'd have to readjust like what's going on? How much of that did I just dream? It happened to me a lot And I remember doing it especially during the Kirakar Sam movie I want to live about a man who's driven insane by his fear of the atomic bomb. And at the end of the movie I was just like stay awake.

I'm coming up with too many alternate ways this movie can go. As I fall asleep, the others I think I've talked about before. The first time I ever had a kidney stone was a terrifying experience. And I watched from beyond. And it really made it like a more meaningful picture to me, because as these people's bodies were being distorted by another dimension that vibrates at another frequency, I was like, these guys get it. And you pulled your blanket back and you were wearing like a black teddy? For some reason I had a black SNM outfit on on, and I was covered in goopy vaseline, and then bees took my flesh from me.

Yeah, I had something like that. I, when I was in high school, I had a broken arm and I... Broken arm with John Travolta, and there's this later. And it was a... It wasn't even close to a thought. I'm glad that I'm glad that you made the joke based on my situation and not on a movie I saw.

I had a cast up over my elbow and I was in a car accident because this dude was driving his car down our gravel drive and he was driving real fast he was like, hey guys, I'm gonna try and fish tail. That did not end well and we totally crashed into a fucking tree and I slammed up against the passenger side seat and because my cast went up over my elbow, it, my elbow couldn't bend. So it ended up breaking my humorous. And we were, of course, listening to a song by the band Lords of Acid. So I can't listen to that anymore. And I dragged my, which totally sucks,

because there's all these situations when I want to listen to the band Lords of Acid, I can't do it. So I dragged myself out of the car and the whole time I'm like, oh my God, my arm has a new elbow in my fucking middle of my bicep. And they, you know, took me and whatever, I broke my arm. But while I was convalescing from this illness, they broken- I'm sorry, not an injury, from this illness. They broken second broken arm. Not illness.

Yeah, injury, sure. My mom ran in a bunch of horror movies who were made to watch some tapes. And she rented the movie Body Parts for me, starring Jeff Fahey, which involves a man who is involved in a horrible car accident and he gets an arm transplant. Unfortunately, that arm is from a serial killer. And that made it a very weird experience for me.

Did I say that the Echorakar Samu was called, I want to live or I live in fear? I can't. Okay. The title is, I live in fear. I may have said, I want to live, which is the movie about the woman on death row. That's a different movie. I live in fear. It's a long time. who we've got the moon on death row, that's a different movie. I live in fear, it's a long time, at this time now. Dan. Yeah, I don't know that I have a good story, unfortunately.

I have our great story. I have. I love also as you picked the letter yourself. No, I thought you guys. This will set me up for a fall. I thought you guys would have a story. This will show me. I mean, I have had the experience of like

being in a meeting and like drifting off to sleep and jerking back the way that you're talking about watching the film forum things and like thinking that something has happened in the meeting that has not happened at all. But I've run some of those meetings where you've done that. Yeah, watch the movie Enemy and was like half drunk and asleep the whole time. And I think that was probably the perfect way to watch it. One thing that bonded my wife and I together was glue. When we were first going out, she was at my apartment once and we both got a stomach bug at the same time. And it was just like, all we have the energy to do is watch whatever's on TV. And we ended up watching like the land before time and

clueless. and I think another movie just would ever happen to come on television at the time and it was like these move all right has been the same looking since the dawn of time. I was like how was it? That was lucky and peat tree. How do you look the same as in Ant-Man a movie that won't come out for 10 years. But uh, but it was one of those things where it was like we're so sick. These movies are a lot better to us, right? I mean, Clues is a good movie anyway, but these movies seem a lot better to us right now

because we're sick and it's about people and things that are not sick. So that was good. I remember being super sick with some kind of a stomach bug and my wife watched, like she watched the first season of Madman, I'd already seen it, but she watched it. And it was, I had just the weirdest madman-related dreams in between sleeping and like, shooting my brains out.

It's just, not how your brains should go. No. So it should stay in the head, not go out the butt. This, like in Victor Frankenstein, as we learned at the end with his sketch, brain goes in head. This is the final segment of the podcast where we recommend movies that we actually liked. I'll go first just because the movie I'm going to recommend I liked okay. So I don't have a plane. Not a huge recommendation. I saw Dr. Strange, the latest Marvel movie. Little art film.

Yeah. I... So, if you were writing a review of it, the headline would not be Dr. Strange love. No, would it be mad about Mads, a Dan McOy story? Yes. It would be that. Okay, he was great nothing. He was fine.

He was great everything. He was, you know, he was great. Nothing. He's great. Everything. He was, you know, he was, the, I was chewed out a lot of, a lot of room in these movies for really good villains. Well, that's, I feel like that's a problem with the Marvel cinematic movie. That's a major issue that Loki has been the one charismatic villain basically. And then, and otherwise, the villain is more an excuse to give the hero something to do. Yeah, I kind of liked Lee Pace and Guardians of the Galaxy, mainly because I felt like a lot of his scenes

felt like they were in a different movie. I liked how over the top like, serious he was about everything. Yeah, that was really great. And I like to think that he was channeling the anger. He felt for not getting the part of Star Lord that he originally auditioned for I believe. Oh, no.

And they're like, no, you don't get to be the Star of the movie, but you can have this crazy goopy makeup all over your face and just yell at stuff when hold a big hammer. I think that was great. But also, I mean, like that movie allowed the over the top seriousness to be funny because it was in contrast to like the goopiness of the rest of the movie. So like when he then encountered Star Lord, the fact that he was dealing with this is a silly movie. I thought I was so serious doing it wrong movie. So I've heard Dr. Strange is like a super tripped out psychedelic experience. I would not go that far.

There are a few like you don't do it on weed or you're going to go permanently loco. There are a few sequences that are that was the original title for that book about being a heroin addict, right? Permanently loco. So the permanent midnight. Yeah, I mean, it's a movie that uses CGI in a good way, which is let's use it to do a thing that you couldn't do with practical effects. Let's really like push it to do something interesting and new. Let's take it to the limit. Yeah, like one more man. Where you CGI to like totally trip people out. Yeah, one of the money for nothing video where you. Yeah, right video. You you can just have like people were the let's get right to the no you could just show people moving goods

in a warehouse that we can't do that on film with live action. You could do it, but it wouldn't achieve the same like super mechanical robot futuristic effects man. Yeah, all the action. We're just a headband playing guitar. What the fuck that's crazy? I Think tell this when probably is the best in the movie It's just just fine. I mean actor or character her her performance

Uma the Roman in the role of till to swim in the doctor's range movie her performance is probably the highlight Acting wise I mean, her performance is probably the highlight of acting wise. Aside from Matt. I was a Benedict Cumberbatch, I was a- You're gonna go through every actor in the movie? No, well, he did respond to my two-odd old J4 question. So he doesn't know who that is. He's an actor, do? Please, Mordo.

How's Benedict Cumberbatch's accent? Cause in the trailer, it sounds pretty shitty. It's not us a movie, it's in the trailer. No sounds pretty shitty. It's not us only with him in the trailer. No, it's, you get used to it over the course of the movie. I'll say that about it. You get used to it, Ray was typically of the flyers. Hey, forget about it. He's a New York doctor.

He's a very charismatic guy. I think that the movie happers that charisma a little bit by making all those scenes where he's hiding in a hamper. I made it. Why does Dr. Strange keep escaping from alternate dimensions movie happers that charisma a little bit by making all those scenes residing in a hamper. But why does Dr. Strange keep escaping from alternate dimensions by hiding in a laundry hamper and getting wheeled into the exit? I think it's hampered by him. It was not amperens in the movie. We play some fucking heavy and that dude is the heaviest piece of meat on the silver screen. Fine. How Stanley and his cameo that I assume he has. I can't remember.

Is he playing like a hot dog vendor or? He's gotta be and he's he's selling hot dogs to some mindless ones. Over in nightmares realm. Yeah, to my fist. Oh, so something's like, I will say, and it's a pretty standard Marvel movie. It does that the Danemont is a little more interesting. They find a more interesting way to wrap things up. Oh, it's not that there's a portal

that something's gonna come through and they've got to stop it from coming through a portal. There is in fact a portal that something's gonna come through. Oh, God. But the way that they deal with that is much better than like the usual. Okay, than like the usual. I like the portal until it stops being open. Where it's like that Johnny Ryan comic where Dr. Strange has sex with the portal. And he finds that another Dr. Strange is on the other side and now they're connected by the penis.

Anyway, I like the Marvel movies. I don't like the so many of them and with portals that they have to close Whatever they're portals of time then I would love it. Mm-hmm not enough time travel That's it. So I'm gonna do Thanks to Dan going super long on his with the movie that he's Quote okay guys couldn't let me finish anything. He's like here's a movie. I think it was so so an hour later Single sentence that you guys have a million thoughts of breaking in as if you had news of the Kennedy assassination. I'm gonna do this one in mystical form and another thing.

I'm gonna do a quick recommendation on a movie that I probably talked about on the show. It's a little air wolf movie called Dog Soldiers. Oh, okay. Directed by Neil Marshall. It's a bit of an action movie, bit of a horror movie about old werewolves. It's about a... What if it was a lot of love at old werewolves?

Like werewolves that are not aging gracefully? Yeah, I mean, there's a good werewolf in the howling. That's true, I guess. Is that a movie called, like, late phases that's old werewolves? Oh, I don't know that one good werewolf in the howling. That's true, I guess. Is that a movie called, like, Late Faces that's old werewolves? Oh, I don't know that one. Very well could be the case if I'm not recommending that movie because I haven't seen it, but maybe. So dog soldiers is a movie about a group of British or Scottish soldiers

who are kind of a like a rag-tag group of dudes who are sent on maneuvers and Walla maneuvers they find themselves under attack from some werewolves and We're the werewolves It's got a pretty great little cast Sean per Tweet Kevin McKid Liam Cunningham a bunch of other dudes, and it manages to be Neil Marshall, the director and writer, has also directed a bunch of the big actiony Game of Thrones episodes. He's also directed a bunch of movies that I've also recommended on

here, like The Descent, which is one of the best horror movies in the last 20 years. What was his Mad maxi time movie? Fuck, Doomsday. Doomsday. And dog soldiers was just like a fun little, like a bit of a soldier's e-movie, like a dirty dozen-e, like tough soldiers talking shit, but then there's also a bunch of wearables show up.

And the wearable effects are good. There's they're they're pretty practical and yeah, check it out. I'm gonna quickly recommend two movies that are kind of a double shot of depends on how you want to deal with the latest news. If you're looking for a movie, and these are both movies I watched before yesterday, but they seem, they, they thinking about them helped me add a little bit. One of them, if you're looking for a movie that, if you're unhappy about the situation, you're looking for a movie that kind of mirrors that feeling. A movie I saw recently was Christoph's, Christoph Kislauski's No End. He did the three colors trilogy and the decalogue and double life of Verneak. This is a slightly earlier movie than that about a very well-respected lawyer who defends political prisoners in Poland.

And this is right after martial law was declared to try to end the solidarity union movement. He has passed away. And that means that this case that he was covering of a striking worker who is in jail has been thrown into chaos and his wife who kind of didn't realize until he was gone, how much she really loved him and how important he was to her life is dealing with her grief in ways that are not fully safe and that are her way in a way of also digesting what's going on in her country and how hard it is to understand what's going to happen to everyone there and how much freedom they have or don't have anymore. It's a super bleak movie.

It's at times a really beautiful movie. It looks great, but it's super bleak. So be ready to not feel so good afterwards, but it's a really good movie. No end. And the other one is about as popcorn a movie as you get. And that's a movie from 1979 called Little Romance with Diane Lane and Lawrence Olivier, which is literally about an American teenager in Paris who falls in love with a French teenager. And the two of them

want to run away to Venice so they can kiss under a bridge. And it is maybe a little too sugary for some people. It's one of those movies where it's not trying too hard to put you in suspense and it's not particularly realistic view of two young people running away. But I really enjoyed it a lot and it was just a very like I'm using delightful experience that I was happy I sat through

and really enjoyed. How many killings in that one? Zero killings. Okay. There's a make a movie with no kill. I mean, there's a make-up movie with no there's a step dead in it who is very much like the dad in the world no in the world of henry orient

and there are times i was like oh his relationship with the diane lane is much like the relationship between the dad and daughter in the world of henry orient uh... but and loran's liby is pretty is very charming in it so a little romance if you want to get picked up a little bit And I want to get picked up So take me home tonight. That's that guys I'm gonna Sign off very quickly because we're running late because we're running late and I was up very late last night

Covering the damn election for the daily shows. So I got to head to Kentucky this weekend. I heard you've got to deal with some, they called you in to deal with some killings around mind country. Exactly. I'm heading down into Appalachia, first going to West Virginia and then down into Kentucky. Seems likehmm. Seems like something's gotta be justified. Mm-hmm. Uh, but thanks for listening. Thanks for being you.

Thanks for everything. I like that. Yeah. Yeah, man, thanks for listening to, uh, thanks for listening to us work through some shit. For the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm always doing well in them. And I'll always be here for you, with you,

by you, of you, Elliot Kaylen. By you Billy. Ha ha ha. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Uh, uh, uh, first we do the intro. Henset's name. Well, a little loop in a day. Oh, it's my edge, Jimmy's show.

Aren't you out up to do this thing, Pell Grub? It's kind of a rough night and a rough day. I mean, Jimmy's still, I was a Republican, but I was more of an establishment Republican. I'm more of a John Wayne tonight, Pell Grub. I'm a Tom Broca, I hear to talk about Doom. The story always, Jesus, chill out, dude. The story of mod dib, born Paul or Tradyce,

as he takes control of the Freeman or Freeman and rides a Makerworm, the secret of the Spice, without his intergalactic navigation is not possible. So do they take that spice and just give it to the giant floating spaceworm guys? What's how does that work? One you have taken enough of the spice it distorts your body in the horrific ways, but allows you the ability to bend time.

Okay. Amr space. I guess that's worth it, but more space than time. The great trading houses rely on the spice. Like her cone and the tradies. Very much so. The spice is life. In opposition, fears the mind killer. Yeah.

There's little death within a zold. All right, intro. Now in chapter house, dude. Yes, Sammy. That's Sammy. I'm tired. That's all right. Name it.

Name it. I mean, I did make dinner for you and ham the other What was that a week ago? We can have no you guys made a little dinner. Yeah, Dan came over I'm like chicken papas or something I mean it was chicken and I made and I roasted rock a lay and I was every now and then I'd take a moment to glance over and see My son and Dan lying head-to-head on the couch watching them up. It's show It was really adorable, yeah. Yeah. This is after we'd all get out for ice cream. Yep, we're a regular family.

Yeah. Yeah. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture, art is don't. Listen or supported. Instead of door busting for a plasma TV this Black Friday, how about you stay in and snag the best deal of all?

Max Funcon 2017 Tickets Max Funcon West returns to Lake Arrowhead next June, and Max Funcon East is back in the Poconos next September. Tickets for both go on sale Friday November 25th, and they're going to sell out fast. So mark your calendars and visit maxfuncon.com on November 25th to secure your spot. Max Funcon, way more fun than a smartwatch or whatever.