The Flop House - Ep. #226 - Max Steel

Episode Date: March 18, 2017

We discuss a movie from last year that flopped so badly that Elliott refuses to believe it exists: Max Steel. Meanwhile Dan sings a Carmen Sandiego duet, Stuart gives his fish-based SNL audition, and Elliott texts a lot. Wikipedia synopsis for Max Steel Movies recommended in this episode: The Neon Demon The Devils The Lobster

On this episode we watched Max Steel. That's right, back to back Max Attack! Uh oh! Welcome to Max Vemper! Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin, and I'm coming off of a cold, and also I'm allergic reactioning to Dan's cat. So I apologize if I sound a little snotty tonight.

I mean, more snotty than normal, or? Usually I'm snotty like this. Actually, that was sebitur, not sebitage, but this is a different kind of snotty with his actual snot in my face. You say it's sebitage. I say it's sabotage You remember that was that a philharmonic no that was a William Shatter

There was a there's all it's like a boot like there's outtakes of him doing the Star Trek cartoon where he's like what's the thing? I guess sabotage the system Spock sabotage the system. Spock, sabotage the system. And they're like, Bill, could you, could you say one more with a sabotage? You say sabotage. I say sabotage. Well, that was another episode of our classic podcast. Remember that. I mean, we basically became Gilbert Godfrey's podcast for a minute, which is essentially they, Gilbert Godfrey and his, and his co-host interview somebody that half of it is just Gilbert Godfrey's remembering shows he watched

as a kid or like scenes from movies with people in it that are not the guest. You know, it seems like a pretty good format. We should have adopted that. I mean, it's fun. They didn't be having fun. Yeah, we wouldn't have to watch a movie. That seems like a plus.

That would be a huge plus, especially if it's a movie like tonight, because Dan, what do we do on this podcast? We watch a bad movie, and then we talk about it. And boy, howdy, did we watch a thing tonight? I don't know. It was a movie. It was like a movie like substance. The only proof I have that this is a movie

is that if you go by the old Pavilion movie theater that is still there in Brooklyn. It's becoming a Nighthawk theater. It's becoming, yeah, that's irrelevant. But they haven't taken down the marquee or the posters. And there is still a poster and the sign on the marquee for Max Deal. When it's like, I'm going to walk by there tonight on the way home, I think, just to have actual evidence that this was a movie that existed in real life because it felt like

and then the ghost of Macsteal appeared back in the new end of the year. Come in, come in and watch me my exploits. How could you forget my exploits, my mini exploits. I really like saying the word exploits a lot of extile. That's one of his many superpowers some people say adventures. I say exploits and He'll I'll hand you a thing a tub of popcorn. It looks delicious, and then you start digging into it And it's all greasy old gross popcorn Like ghost popcorn. Yeah, that's what I meant, dude. It's like fucking rufio shit It's like fucking rufio shit. All right.

I'm just underlining your point. Someone locked into a restaurant and they're like, uh, I'll have some food, please. And they just give them an empty plate. This is some rufio shit. I was supposed to imagine their food here. And the waiter's like tell it to Yelp, bang a ring. The chef is a pioneer in Rufio cuisine. Our chef was actually an original lost boy. He came back from Neverland and decided to bring that exotic, unique Neverland cuisine

to modern American farm to table cooking. Now all of our imaginary food is imaginary stores from imaginary farms and it's brought to you and we're just about seasonal imaginary ingredients, kind of letting them shine, representing what makes them best. And there's also a lot of imaginary foam. Now, that's weird. In my hometown, original lost boy cuisine was thinking I was eating Chinese food, but it would be maggots or worms. It's a kind of lost boy that's been a big debate in the lost boy community. Now, what if, okay, here's your crossover. Peter Pan takes Wendy and the other two kids,

bump them in both of them or whatever their names are, squeegee and mogue, and takes the Neverland where the lost boys are vampires. And he wants to turn them into vampires too. A lost boys never grow up because they're vamps, just like the kid vampire in Near Dark. Get ABCs once upon a time on the horn, because I think you have a million dollar idea. I think I'll call up my old college roommate who's a producer on once upon a time.

Yeah, why don't you? And I'll say yes this to him. That's a good idea, a column. To jump backwards though, that is something that always... Jump back, kiss yourself. Yeah, that's something that annoys me when on top chef though, is like every single chef is like, my sort of style of food is I just like to let the ingredients take charge. I'm all about nice and all about real quality ingredients, whatever's good right now. What's yeah,

what's in season all? What's good? And it's just like, yeah great. I'm just all about everybody. I'm all about really delicious flavors. I'm all about food that fills your tummy, makes you feel good. I'm about converting food into energy so you can live. I'm about giving you poop fuel and you can poop out later. No one will know you would. That's what I serve in my restaurant. It's called poop fuel.

I'm giving you the raw ore that your body can process into finished poop it's really poop is the highest form of food because it's the last form it's been through the most amazing process of all the human stomach yeah Dan's making his pitch to the middle person in a human centipede because Dan doesn't want to be the middle or the back so he's like no no, I'm taking the hit by being the front. I'm missing out on this. I'm giving you the good stuff. Look, you're getting the nutrients from me, too.

So you're assuming that I wouldn't want to be the, I would prefer to be the back because I'm getting less poop in the back. No, I think you're telling the back and the, and then I think you're getting more poop in the back. Really? I don't think so. I think that, you know, like, you got the most poop in the middle. And then the guy in the middle absorbs some of that. Pooop is the shit, literally, that your body is not absorbing

because it's not nutrients are useful. Once the poop gets to the middle, there's so little nutrients in that. You gotta believe the middle is pooping all of that stuff plus extra, where's that coming from? Plus the blood and stuff that he's pooping out because he's not nourished properly and that's going in your mouth Dan as the back one because so if you want to be the back one of this flop house even center be go ahead I don't want that job. I'll take the front. Thank you very much. I'll take that everyone wants the front

No, not you do. They want to have your face buried in my delicious ass. Look, tell you this, do I like the feel of one of your stubbly faces rubbing against my anus? No, I don't. And yet I'm willing to take that sacrifice by getting it. I told you I would shave, dude. Okay, I appreciate that you had shaved

before we're centiped. I apparently this is a scheduled thing that we can prep for at a time. And then we're going to the hospital together to get it. Apparently this is a scheduled thing that we can prep for at a time. And then we're going to the hospital together to get it done like a plan C section. But Dan, if you want to be in the back and not have your butt violated

by another person's face, go ahead. I'll take that hit. You can be the back and still you can be the middle and have all the affection that comes from being in between your two closest friends. So what like, this is a couple of minutes in, that's when people are clicking on subscribe, but delete. Now just think about whatever someone's like,

and my mom really got to like your podcast too. This is really exciting, that one guy, like your friend who always shows up the live shows and asks that he would send me. All he says is what order we be in. Or what order of the ninja turtles would be in or something like that. Well, K-cell, if you're listening, you're probably not,

because I don't know. But we'll talk about it at the next live show. So Max, what are we called, Max? Steve, Max is a magician in the legend of the ring. We watched that last episode. It's been a while since we watched that. We'll talk about it. So Max Steel is a movie based on a toy that had a cartoon and a series of direct to

video movies that Dan, you said were only released in Latin America. This is what I, a factoid I found in a AV club review saying that all but one of them were only released in Latin America. So I don't know if that's true or not, but I'm trusting the research of AA doubt in this matter. So for Anna, Anna, amazing doubt. Yes. So Mac Steel is your basic superhero origin story. And by that, I mean, it is the most basic generic, like filler with white.

You find it, but the lowest r wrong of the grocery store in a bag That has a white thing on it that says superhero and with I'm with both of you on this now This is it wasn't for all the magic juice A badger Point there's a lot of CGI magic is or tacky on energy as they prefer to call it Yeah, that's what lie prefer to call it. Flowing out of his hands, his dad's chest. All over the place. Robots everywhere.

There's constantly, it's like, okay, everyone who wants to make a Spider-Man movie always wants to make an puberty metaphor. There's always that moment where they want him to spray webs out as some kind of a joke on premature ejaculation. Like you get excited and web spray out. Everyone wants to do it. This movie takes that a thousand points far, there were it's like every, later time you keep talking about it.

I want him to paint the air with his juice. And every time he gets too excited, he risks exploding in this giz energy for less, a black or better word. You call it tack energy. We want turbo energy in this. But we all know what it is. It's Gizur G.

Yeah. So just like in Theodore Sturgeon's classic short story, it wasn't Gizur G. That's a deep cut. All the, it wasn't Sizur G fans out there. Yeah. I haven't thought about Theodore Sturgeon a long time. Anyway.

Was he a fish who wrote short stories? Exactly. Yes. Nobody was one of the inspirations for Killboard trout Kervani gets character. I know. Okay. So that's one of those cases where the character that he's one of many Influences on became better known than the person But the other surgeon wrote baby makes three I read that or rather more than human which was built off the short story baby Makes three more than human which is a great book he wrote to Mary Madusa, which is a great book. He wrote a lot of great short stories The ever-stirgeon everybody let's hear it for him. Yeah

Come out Teddy. Hey, it's me. They adore sturgeon. Hey, oh you are a fish. I am a fish Let me get my eye can't reach my hat because my fins are too short Yeah, it's a great hat. Can you just get that hat off me? Oh, yeah, sure, let me get that front. Oh take it easy with those hands Okay, when you ask me to remove your hat or fish a friend of pants I'm trying to hands because I don't have one now. Can I have my cigar back damn? Sure, here's your stokey buddy. Oh Man, that was some great character work I did. It was great.

Really paid it a word picture of this theater, surgeon, fish man. Well, what I think is when you go into the room, you just gotta use all the, like, you gotta do some, uh, prop work. Well, you use the space, you really did. I don't throw around the words SNL audition piece, ready, often, but I think that,

that I wanna use in this case. Now, I love the idea of going before Lauren Michaels and being like, all right, are you familiar with the works of mid-century science fiction author, Theodore Surge? I was familiar with the author of erotic science fiction novel Starbody. Well, take a listen to this. And then you turn around and must up your hair and put a hat on. Mm-hmm. So talking like a fish.

I would. There's pardon me that we love to get the opportunity to audition for SNL and just deliberately blow it with the shittiest stuff. That would be so fun. You mean like, have you ever gone, I've gone into job interviews. Can I have just never SNL? No, I've not. But I've gone into job interviews where I I have my dish never SNL, no I've not. But I've gone into job interviews where I was like, I don't actually fucking want this job, I don't care. And those are the job interviews

that go by far the best. Yes, because they're not nervous, yeah. Yeah, so I'm in there like, I don't care, they're like, what are your goals among, I don't really have any. They're like, oh, give us more. We're in empty vessel in which we can pour our objectives. Speaking of empty vessels, max steel,

which is kind of is to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. What Marvel Cinematic Universe is like butter to max steels like a chemical lubricant that they try to use this butter on popcorn, but it made people sick. It's just like a... Like an illustra sort of thing. Yeah, it's like a illustra. It makes you poop.

Thanks for bringing us back to poop, Dan. I'm sorry. But it really, it's a movie that really feels very generic. And you go through the regular templates of teen guy, he's handsome and buff, he's in us. He just moved to town. Whatever happened. There's a new boy in the neighborhood.

He lives downstairs. It's pretty cute, Dan. He just moved to town. Whatever happened. There's a new boy in the neighborhood. He lives downstairs. Thank you, Dan. Whatever happened to the predictability of getting a teen hero that looks like a fucking whimper for a change. Nope. I'm tired of all these fucking hot boys all shredded up. They're supposed to get shredded after they become a

superhero. Instead, they already look like heroes. Yeah, exactly. They're supposed to go from zero to hero. They're going to hero to hero, which is not an interesting arc. And unless it's a hero sandwich, if I need to a gyro, if I can, like a werewolf type thing, it was bitten by a weird gyro and now it turns into a gyro at night. Yep. It, I don't know. So, I want to do this. I'm sure, you're bail're doing that. You hit the rip cord.

It's like, this is not a valid alley to go down. It's like Stuart saw a brick wall in front of him and he just swerved out of the way in the last minute. So what I'm saying is, if I'm a kid, should I take a shortcut through crime alley? Nah, I think I'll just take the regular way home. Doodoo, doodoo, doodoo. So I'm gonna get back in the highway.

I don't wanna talk about how if I was a fucking cool teen or I wasn't even that cool of a teen. And I'm watching this guy and I'm like, I already wanna be the kid before he gets fucking powers. He's really handsome, he's ripped. He's got fucking drunken master playing on TV behind him. On TV in his room that only plays Kung Fu movies and good ones. Yeah.

He's living the life. He's got this great solar system mobile is dad made for. His mom's Maria bello. Yeah. Inventor of the bellows. That's right. You might know her as hat, hat detective. Hat cop.

Hat cop show on NBC. Well, what was the name of that show? It was like a character. It was, it was based on an English show for a character that also had... Yeah, that was a Shepo cop. That was Shepo Bobby. Did he ever explain what? He was a French word. I know, but it's just classier.

That's all. Was that like one of those things like how on the strain, they gave Corey Stahl that like hilariously bad hair piece? And the reason they're like, oh, it's gonna matter in the story at some point. And I made it about two seasons through, and I'm like, there's no reason for it. I'm still wearing this crazy hair piece.

It's not just about building a character, you know? Somewhere in some places characters are welcome. I mean, it's like a've punched Stuart in the face. Like, you just stopped like... Yeah, do you think it's all for like a moment where they're gonna play like a puddle of mud song and he's gonna like slowly buzz his head or something? Probably. So, Max Steel.

So, Max McGrath moves into town. He's a new kid. Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray. No, Max McGrath, son of James McGrath moves into town. He's a new kid. Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray. Uh, no, Max McGrath, son of James McGrath, the science genius, and also ripped like. Oh my God, dude. His dad is basically like Patrick War Burton's gym partner is the way I would describe him.

If you can look good wearing a pair of fucking chinos and no shirt, I fucking salute you. I mean, there's a reason that he does, he goes shirtless in his science lab while he's working on his magic, his magic is energy to stop aliens from eating the earth. Yeah, and like, and I just made the movie sound way more interesting than that.

And he's about to fight these aliens and he's like, I'm just gonna take off my shirt, I'm gonna keep wearing these work pants. Like you would have to take his pants off, he didn't want it through the rain. I'm gonna keep wearing these work pants. Like you would think you would have like some pants off. You didn't want it to the rain. Yeah, but don't you think you'd well like have some other kind of pants on? Like, what like Zubas or something or?

Zubas? Yeah, I mean for movement I would say yeah. But I mean like maybe like tights. Yeah. It makes sense if they're cargo pants because then you've got all that cargo that you're transporting. Yeah, like the transporter. That's why they call that, right?

Yeah. Because he wears cargo pants. That's right. That's a, put that woman in one of his pockets and transported her around. Wouldn't that be great if the transporter got out of his car and he's wearing some like jenko jeans? And they're like, oh, we can carry a million people of those. There's even like a wrench through the like wrench holder.

Or whatever. Or the hammer strap. Yeah. So Max steel, he's a quite kid, a long story short, one day out of nowhere. Oh, his mom and he moved into a house next to an abandoned science facility. He out of nowhere one day, he starts affecting electronic objects with his hands, making them go crazy, wazzy. And eventually, he's just trailing this stringy energy from his hands.

Yeah, and we say stringy. That's why we talk about it like, just energy, because it looks like, you know, like sperm floating around. Yeah, but he also, like, there's a lot of him just looking at it, waving his hand, and you're like, so this is just high, is that what's happening? Well, it's like a mix of that. And it's like, there's literally a moment where he's playing around with his fucking juice energy, loses control and knocks the power out. And his mom's like, what are you doing?

Are you doing something in there, Max? Just jizzing, mom. I don't come in, mom. I don't have magic powers. I'm just manipulating my penis until it ejaculates All right up there. You better not have magic powers though Anyway, he goes to school and is immediately hit by a truck driven by a cute girl And it is them it is a meat cute in that

The two of them are instantly in the slab of meat and he's a slab of man. She's cute. She's cute and he's meat of them are instantly in that he's a slab of meat and he's a slag. She's cute. She's cute and he's meat. It's called handboy. It's a story of a boy made out of ham. It's bad enough being a teen when you're not made out of lunch meat. Hi, I'm handboy.

Welcome to my world. It's called Diary of a Whippy Handboy. Can I support you on Patreon? Sure. Go ahead, please. And he has more problems, blah, blah. Electricity comes out of his hands. We all know that. Anyway, long story short, he tries to get to the bottom of his dad's death. Yes, he does some Google search in because apparently he was told a tornado hit the very science facility. They just moved back

next to and that's weird. That's where his dad got killed. So did he, does he get any answers from Andy Garcia? Andy Garcia, his dad's business partner, Miles, does not give him any answers. He doesn't look like a Miles. No, Miles Silverberg looks like Miles. Oh, perfect. Brown. Yeah. Or Miles O'Keefe.

Those are the two poles of Miles. There's Miles, they're Miles apart. You got damn you. Hey guys, you can't smell smiles without miles. Oh, fuck off. The Andy Garcia doesn't tell much, but while they're having dinner, he get Andy Garcia in his family. A robot breaks out of some other science institution and Max seems to have some kind of mental link

with it. This robot turns out to be named Steel, and he's a little flying bot who flies around and speaks in a lot of slang, but doesn't know what a mom is. Like, they're really playing fast and loose with what things the robot understands and what he doesn't.

So Miles is like, hey, just try to stay cool. And he goes, but I can't control my core temperature, Max. But then later, the robot is like, hey, just trying to eat kool-y-o, keep it on the DL, you know, and it's like, hold on a second. Are you telling me that did he like upload every slang into a computer? Every episode of Hollywood Squares,

and he's familiar with the character Kool-y-o. But and he's, the robot is voiced by what's his name? Big head from Silicon Valley. And he does a fine job. Is that way does that is the actor's name? Or the actor's name? The actor's name. James Big head.

Do you know that I don't watch Silicon Valley on a protest because it's a comedy and it should have been called silly comedy? That's a fair point. Yeah, take that and my judge. Okay, you can take it. Yeah. The river bank. The river bank. Where Rattie is and Moll, look at them. Wiling away their days in a boat. Time for them to meet Pan, the nature god.

And the weirdest chapter of that book of wind in the willows. Oh, what if it's called wind in the willow and there's about willow from the movie willow and he's got gas and willow from Buffy the vampire slayer shows up. Also, mitt gas. But anyway, Max has this like this, you know, like this relationship with this robot, a real, there are real robot in Frank. Yeah.

That shouldn't claim. It's a real batteries are included some for some reason. Yeah. It's a real one of their. So they hang out and bullshit a lot and the robot seems to dole out a little bits of exposition and like memories. The robot will be like, you have tack on energy and I feed off of it. I have to feed it off of you or else you'll explode if it builds up too much. But why is that? I don't remember. Let's get to the next level and then we'll unlock

my memories. And then a bunch of dudes show up and start shooting bullets at them. Merks in black vans and black suits are firing guns. It's a real X and Sever have teamed up to go after Max and they are bullets. Wait, hold on. Normally they are versus each other. That's what's so crazy about it is usually it's X versus sever. It's the story we've all come to know and love. It's the best. It's the generations. And it's like the tourist in the hair.

But now it's like they've gone really ballistic and X. X was like, hey, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. And I guess Max deal is my enemy and sever also doesn't like my enemy. So I guess we're friends now. Yeah. And a point is Sever. I've never seen the film. Deceiver ever clarified that the last name is pronounced Seaver. Oh, that would change things. Yeah. And well, just that what kind of last name is ECKS X. Yeah, that's true. Okay.

Well, it was X versus Seaveraver and it was just a divorce thing. Mm-hmm. Where a guy named seaver is in court with his ex, but she is ballistic. No matter what, the important thing is jokes about... Ballistic. ...jokes about X versus sever being a court case. It's pretty topical right now. I'm glad we're really touching on that. I mean, even when X versus Everett came out, those jokes were not topical.

That is maybe the most resounding, what? That a movie was ever greeted with. Was maybe Skadoo, was the only movie that was greeted with our baffle bit by America. X versus Ever, wherever it was like, are we supposed to know our favorite characters? X and sever, finally finding each other.

Well, the battle we were waiting for for years. Guys, we got to clarify this. We got to clarify this. Colin Ballistic. Was Ballistic. We got to know. X versus sever. Yeah, we got to know how crazy this fight is.

It's Ballistic. X sever, we knew it was going to happen, but is it a real, are they ballistic? Let's make sure the audience knows that. And now we've been talking about it for like five minutes now, and it's still funny enough that I just like, beer just went on my nose. Now in the trailer, do the two lead characters

just have people saying their name over and over so that it grinds into the audience. The ad for the movie Mumford was like Mumford? Mumford? Mumford? I hate it when trailers do that. That's everybody is talking about Ferris Bueller. Bueller, Bueller, Bueller.

Don't see the new baby driver trailer. No, it just bothers me because it's like, am I supposed to be surprised that like this character must be exciting. Everyone in the movie is saying his name. There's a lot of demand among characters in this movie to know about the main character. Like, you can't be just like, everyone would be like, this guy has a crazy name. He's like, yeah, the screenwriter fucking wrote him with a crazy name, dude. But it would be a different thing if it was like a famous character who's finally, it was

like, and there's only one thing that can solve this crime. Frankenstein, Frankenstein, Frankenstein, Frankenstein, PI or something like that. Like then I'd be like, okay, I get, it's exciting to hear that name many times because I've got a lot of built up enthusiasts. Oh, yeah, I'm like Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla. It's Godzilla.

Exactly, yeah. But it's like Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla. That's how you would do it. To show that Godzilla's whole thing is all people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the kaleidoscope of characters. Let's a real roshamons that isn't cane type thing where everyone has a different view on Godzilla. Oh, yeah, and there's different stories and in all of them and you're trying to figure out what was Godzilla hero? Was he a zero?

Yeah, was he actually a monster, was he just some dude? Mm-hmm. So a bad day. Yeah, that's me. What's going on with Max deal? Where were we? He's got this robot buddy, but they're on the run. You're not Dan.

Well, you weren't answering the question. And so, he needs that robot, because the robot has to suck off his excess juice. Okay, that's not the way the movie puts it. But yes, the robot has to absorb his excess energy, Okay, that's not the way the movie puts it. Yes, the robot has to absorb his excess energy, which comes out in strands because he's a teen. He can't control all that excess energy. And the robot's like, Oh, yeah, give it to me. Fill me up. Mm-hmm. I might be paraphrasing. The long story short in something that will surprise no one. He gets superpowers from being close

to this robot and they can combine so that he has some kind of mecha suit on him visit this point that i really wish i was watching the guy it's basically a bad the guy for and the guy for is not great it's pretty fun are we to wait which the guy for we talking about the federal action first one see i'm talking about the original the original manga oh i see well. Sorry

Well anything where you have tons of giant monsters fighting a dude with a like organic Armor suit that shoots giant lasers out of its chest. Yeah, that's awesome Guys what if Mick Geiver was just an Irish version of the Geiver? There's nothing telling me that I mean was what was muggeiverver was just an Irish version of the Giver? Who would be free? There's nothing telling me that I mean it was what was Mugiver then. Was he Scottish or Irish? That's what I'm saying. But he already kind of is that.

Yeah, but he's not, he doesn't have like a mecha suit. Well, I see. He doesn't have like an alien parasite bonded with him. So why'd you bring up Mugiver? Because I said what if McGyver was an Irish version of the Giver? I've at least an Irish version of the Guyver? What? At least an Irish version of McGuyver. No.

Wow. This was just a real call to sack of a conversation. Yeah. Let's give back to Mac Steel. So we don't have to do any more of your offensive Irish humor. Oh, I'm empowered by potatoes. Look, that's offensive, man. This is the ethical humor tradition that Vaudeville was built on.

All right? It's true that you make a good point. And this is nothing if not tradition that vaudeville was built on. All right. That you make a good point. And this is nothing if not a vaudeville show. So anyway, Max deals now officially a superhero, although it's kind of more like a superhero. Every time he gets in a fight, he fucking loses his suit and he's just like rolling around with his robot buddy, totally nude balls. And his shirt is all shredded up like some fucking Swiss cheese.

You can't wear a shirt without getting full of holes. Now, here's something that's to look forward to if you're watching this. Of course, he does some parkour training in the abandoned science facility, looking like a steward pointed out, Billy Elliott, or as I would say, foot loose, like he is one step away from just being, oh, I'm dancing away my anger in this abandoned warehouse. So yeah, Elliott saying if you're looking for some parkour tips, you can watch this movie. First tip, get a robot buddy who controls your energy juice so that you can do amazing parkour without any training. Now he's being hunted down by an evil alien called an ultra-link.

They make tornadoes and he defeats one narrowly and discovers, uh oh, it's actually just a floating little robot like his buddy, Steel. Was Steel actually kill his father? No, Steel says I was working with your father, and I remember more of it now. Let's experience some memory, shall we? This is a movie that is full of cutscenes, where, like in a video game, the level would stop,

and you just watch some backstory for a while. That's this movie. Your codec would ring, and you would have to talk to whoever is going through weird life problems. And you continue with the game for a couple of seconds. Yeah. Also, this movie is so lazy when it comes to the villain because it doesn't really explain

like these ultra lengths, it's just like, okay, there's like these. There's good aliens, there's a bad version. There's a bad version of steel basically. And we're not gonna learn anything about their motivations or why they're here or anything. They wanna eat the world or something. Yeah.

They're like when Warren Ellis redid Galactus for the ultimate university was like a hive mind of bugs or something. Really made Stuart mad. Anytime you reimagine a dude who's like a giant purple man as Something that's more realistic get out of your fuck that if you don't want giant purple man What are you doing in the world of comics? Go back to just tweeting about how much you love your portable communications technology. I'm just saying I like the

Like I mean you Glantus was a Jack Kirby character, right? Very much so. And then it's what's so great about it. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I've been, I've been, the one silly thing was that he had a big G on his chest. That's awesome. But then they got rid of that. So everyone knows that he's Galactus. But he has to, like, wait, hold on, which guy who,

are you the watcher? Are you, which one of the guys who he's playing? Yes, every time he lands on a plane, he goes, I hope you guys speak and read English, or else my costume's not gonna make as much sense. One of my, what do they call them? It's like, Emerson's Harold's. Yeah, one of my heralds told me

you guys recognize this letter. I don't know what it means myself. I just slapped it on. What's like whenever? It keep me current with the trends of normal, normal size folks. Yeah, no. I call them normal size folks, though to me I'm normal.

And now it's time to twerk, as I've heard is very popular nowadays. Damn Daniel, et cetera. Now for one of those drops. Boom. He does have, Glaxis has the best helmet of any complicated.

Yeah, it's a good one. I love that design so much. Anyway, so he finds out, he thinks steel is bad, turns out steel is not bad. The villain is surprise, surprise. It's Andy Garcia, of course it is. He betrayed Max's dad and was working with the Ultraman. He had a fantastic flashback where his hair got super crazy.

That's why you know he's a bad guy. And the best thing about the beanies flashbacks is a lot of movie from this point on becomes extreme close-ups of the characters with colored filters on their faces going as they propel energy gizz out of their bodies. And it is even more like, okay, this is just like angry porn. And this guy is angry and he is just letting loose. He's just so mad about the sex he's having.

But Andy Garcia tracks down, no, or Max tracks Andy Garcia, and they have a power suit fight. Andy Garcia has built a battle suit that absorbs tacky energy. And Andy Garcia gets a little bit of like the bad guy speech stuff going on. And you know, he's pretty fun.

Give me the energy. I need it. They go fighting for a while. Max keeps getting his butt handed to him. I'm trying to say Andy Garcia. You know, he delivers an okay performance in this one. He does find, as you said, his voice gets sillier as it goes on. Yeah, it gets way brookling.

Max is not doing well. He's not good at fighting. Luckily, he gets a Restfight when all the Merks who were chasing after him before the hitmen who we learned are working for his mom They have tack Andy Garcia and in it or see a kills all of them Yeah, and then Max is like I know what I'm doing. I'm gonna give him what he wants and he pulls the O.D. really in the book yeah, he want a lot of I want to want to really really want to see a guy yeah, which is weird beguffin for the movie to have yeah, then it turns into it's a backdoor spice girls pilot yeah, uh That in at the end he the oldest trick in the book I'll'll give you the power you want, too much power,

and you won't be able to handle it. Send it into turbo energy steel, and he shoots him full of turbo energy, and he would explode. Yeah, there's the great moment of like, he's like, I'll give you what you want, he's like, perfect, I love it, he's like, I'm gonna use you too much,

and he's like, no, I'm dying. And Max wins the day, his t-shirt is full of holes. Steel is OK. Oh, he's spent. They, the laziest possible Max thinking that steel has died in the battle happens. Where Max is lying in the ground and Steel is next to him. Max is like, Steel, Steel talk to me, Steel.

Actually, Max magician thinking that his mouse buddy was dead was done better than this. Of the two Max's, I would watch Max Magician again in a heartbeat. But anyway, but everything's okay, and his mom reveals to him, oh, you can do all this because. What, what, what, what?

Your dad's an alien. Oh, I thought his stepmother was an alien. No, that's a different movie, but you thought your family was crazy But mom and dad saved the universe. That's okay. Was it mom dad say the universe? Save the world the world right? Yeah, it was day two thought Your family was weird. What I think say crazy. Oh, and you know, sorry. I'm getting all my movies that you're all your bad movies All the movies that I looked at the boxes of the video store A ton of times then when I finally watch them was disappointed

You didn't see mom dad say the world in the theater. No, actually. I didn't see that until I had HBO and then I saw a couple times Yeah, that's a movie that in my mind will always be linked with stay tuned even though they have nothing Why I said it's why Stewart mentioned Yeah, yeah, stay tuned. I saw. That's it. Stay tuned. The movie where John Ritter dresses up like Salt and Peppa. Yeah, stay tuned was a movie. It has a Chuck Jones interview. Sure. And then Godzilla shows up in there.

Some kind of giant monster. That's and Jeffrey Jones is in it. That's a movie that my family saw that in the theater. Does Jeffrey Jones play a good guy? No, he plays the villain as is usually the case. Like in the theater. Does Jeffrey Jones play a good guy? No, he plays the villain, as is usually the case. Like in the real world. Ha ha ha. We saw that movie, my family, and...

Team MTV's real world. Let me give you... Where he came in and he molested all the cast members. They're not even kids. Sorry, lie was... It really makes Ferris Bueller feel very different. Yeah, it does. The movie where Jeffery Jones is chasing a high school boy for the entire movie and says

literally one point, your ass is mine. Now anyway, when my family went to see Stay Tune in the theaters, guess what our reaction was? Did you not stay tuned? We loved it. But it became a regularly rented film in our house. I actually, yeah, I've got a lot of fun as for stay tuned. It is a done.

Is that the number one rented movie in your household? By far, the Gremlins du Illogy was the most rented by me. I would rank Gremlins almost every week at different points. And my, it took a long time for my parents to be like, we should just buy you Gremlins, because that would cost $20. And you've been spending $4 a week for 30 weeks. Yeah. Really? Because there was that long, it was really weird, the break between when VHS tapes were like $100 at a store if you want to buy a new one.

Well, that was built in for the rental market. Yeah. You're going to give rental stores time to make money. It was agreed, okay, we'll put them out for like a hundred bucks. And then after a few months, they'll cost like $10. Yeah. Or $50. I think in my house, the number one rented movie was a ski patrol. Okay. Interesting.

My, uh, me and my brother watched that movie all the time, although I don't remember it. But if I'm sure if I watched it, I would remember every single moment. And Dan, what was yours? I don't think we rented a pool in space. I don't think we did multiple rentals of the same movie. I mean, I had movies that I like taped off of television

when I watched over and over again. Like, others or I read darkness. But yeah, I was a little, but yeah, night eyes. I was a little younger than Heather's no army darkness age when I was renting Remlins. Yeah, well, you're a little younger than me. Okay. I'm just, I guess, those movies do kick in where I was

until I, like, this is a factual thing. I'm not, it's not a judgement. But what did you rent when you, what did you watch a lot when you were a little kid? Uh, I don't know, like the muppets or something. Yeah, didn't you watch like repossessed a million times with Leslie Neilsson and all that hilarious nudity?

Hilarious nudity. I mean, there's jokes. There's joke sound effects when there's nudity. Yeah, that's right. It was the poor, because books are automatically funny if there's a boy-ing sound. I mean, yeah.

It was the poor landia of its day and that they threw a lot of cartoons sound effects. Which is one of my favorite things about Portland, India. Anyway, so Max steel turns out he's dad's an alien, he's half alien and that's how he can control tack on power and we're set up. Oh, and he goes over to that girl who's been flirting with the whole movie and he shows her a picture he drew of her surrounded by polygons, tetrahedrons. And we know that that represents his semen,

but she doesn't know that. So she thinks it's adorable. And she kisses him and that's the end of the movie. Seed to black. Yeah. And then you see Andy Garcia's claw burst out of the ground. Oh, I guess. And this is Max Steel returning.

Nothing. Max Steel II stealing it. Max steel to stealing it. Max steel to steal steel. Steel alive. Steel alive is probably the best one. Electric steel alloo. Nope, go back. It might work.

So Max steel was kind of like, here's what I how I describe it best. Yep. You're at your grandparents for the weekend and your kid. Yeah. And Grammy wants to take a nap. And're at your grandparents for the weekend and your kid. Yeah. And Grammy wants to take a nap, and she knows you don't want to take a nap. So she turns on the TV.

Hey, it looks like there's some kind of super, superman hero movie on. You like them Marvel supermans. Yes. Why don't you watch this while Grammy closes or resturize a little bit. And then you do. You're making me very sad about this fictional Grammy. Grammy's like to nap. No, I know.

Is that me many times? I'd spend a weekend at my grandma's and she would be like, Grammy needs to resturize. Well, let's see what dinosaur-related movie is on television, because there weren't a lot of superhero movies at the time. And anything that was remotely related to dinosaurs, just turn it on. I've watched that for hours.

Would you then retired who were bedroom where she would look at like a cameo or something of a boy like from the war? You guys are genuinely making me sad. I do have this fictional character that you do. Why? Would this fictional Grammy also, at night?

Has one a Grammy. Yes. Wow. First function word. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. She was in contention with Henry Rollins, but she beat him out. She beat Henry Rollins in Jell-O by Afra. She, uh, so with this Grammy, uh, at the, you know, after the kids have gone to bed sneak outside and, uh, wait, no, no, no, no, let me go back. Would she go out there with the kids and plant scraps of crayons in the ground? And then when the kids are asleep, go out and replace them with little crayons, sticking up out of the ground because that's what my

Grammy used to do. Oh, that's really sweet. No, that's really cute. The Grammy in my memory was lived in an apartment building, so we couldn't do that. There's there's not a single square yard of tillable earth. No, on the East 50s and Manhattan, no, there is not. Okay. All right. Not on the not when you're on a 13th or 14th floor of a building. So let's talk it and stop talking about our grandma. I know you haven't said anything about your grandma, Dan. Dan. They were both very nice. Tell us one nice thing about a grandma. Uh, it sounds like you've got a lot of rage towards grandma's.

I know, I don't have a lot of rage towards grandma's eyes. Someone's getting a little angry right now. I'm sad at this picture that you're painting of this fictional grandma. She's got a loving grandchild, she's got a nice life, she gets to rest for a little bit. Sounds to me like this is Sounds pretty Sounds like a heaven. I just don't like As someone with a straight child, I would love to be able to say here watch this

I'm gonna go rest my eyes for a little bit. I did do that this week Some people it's walking through a field of wheat and run your hands through it for other people It's resting your eyes while it can watch some dumb movies. Let's do a final judgment on this, whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie kind of like Stewart, what do you think? It's like the movie. On one hand, I like all the juicy, whether it's our hero, like coming to terms with his gizmo building, or whether it's the sequences where the dudes with their tacky on powers

just give all their extra tacky on powers and totally look like they're in a porn ohmoo. I think that's hilarious. But it's you're saying you would watch a super cut of those scenes. Yeah, totally. But no, this is not a very good movie. Bed, bed. This movie is interesting in that it's like an interesting experiment in cutting a movie down to the barest minimum of thing that needs to be in it, to be a movie. But that experiment almost relies

on you having seen other movies beforehand to fill in those gaps for yourself. That's kind of how I describe a lot of this act Snyder movies. I feel like he makes logical leads with this film making where he is just like, people have seen enough movies. They're going to know what I'm talking about.

Yeah. But he's doing that so he can get to a super badass slow-mo fight in a men's bathroom. Uh-huh, but I would prefer it to be a slow-mo fight between a dude just coming super hard and the Andy Garcia. Out of his chest. Yeah. Into Andy Garcia. Rather than Andy Garcia and the other guy just like sort of like squinting in each other really hard

Not interested. I Yeah, this movie moved fast enough that didn't hate it But it's a bad bad movie at heart. I feel like I can't even grade it because it like barely exists as a movie It's like it is so basic and so generic that it like Doesn't reach the level that I want to even dain't to call it bad. I mean, according to random Ados, it's 0%. That means it doesn't exist.

It's yeah, scientifically. There's an MSP3K episode called The Screaming Skull, where a lot of the movies is this woman wandering around a house, not in a good house, the devil way. And someone refers to one of the bots I think makes a joke about this is what happens when you have five minutes of movie and then you put an hour and a half of packing peanuts in to fill them. And that's what this movie feels like it feels like you had like a few of the basic ingredients for movie and you're like, I'll just put in movie filler like I just fill in the rest with sawdust. That's this movie. movie filler like I'll just fill in the rest of sawdust that's this movie a stirring repute to Mac steel deal with it Mac steel but we should move on that being said it was screenwritten by a comic writer and I'm whose series Scarlet Spider-Enjoyed all right so there's that? Sure. Ben, we've been accused of so many things over the course of making the greatest generation, the Star Trek podcast that we're a little bit embarrassed to be making.

The embarrassment lies squarely on us and you can listen anonymously and safely. Would you like to meet up for some anonymous podcast listening? This is a podcast you definitely won't want your parents to find on your phone when you pass away suddenly. I'm discovered by an innocent hotel maid. They'll make up something else at your funeral. Something more tasteful like you were listening to Bullseye. We of course have permanently shamed ourselves by making this podcast and putting our real

names on it. But you don't have to. It's a regret we feel several times a week. Subscribe and delete the greatest generation, a Star Trek podcast. Yes, we are actually making a Star Trek podcast. We should submit that one. I already won this. Big news in the world of Max Fun. The Max Fun Drive is coming up and

We are working hard on some of the best episodes of the year and when I say we not just us Everyone on Max Fun is putting together some of the top episodes of the year. They're working harder than us No, I mean mean, we've got a trick or two I've asked leave, but I would, yeah, I wouldn't argue with that. Stewart seems like he has something to do. I mean, you might want to say that we, like one of the things that we're doing, because so people aren't like, shit their pants when it happens.

Oh yeah, because that's what happens with people. We're gonna be doing an extra episode. We're putting out an extra episode, people. That's extra work on our part. It is actually an extra work. For you. For you. Because being part of the Max Fun is at least, I'm going to speak for myself and I think

the guys will back me up. Being part of the Max Fun Fun Network is a big deal for us. It feels like a great community. They're really supportive of us and they make it easy for us to be supported by our listeners. So if we can if we can try and do a little bit of extra stuff for you guys, I think it's awesome and I think it's awesome and I think it's and so I thought this was a great opportunity to do another extra special episode. Yeah, the drive actually starts a couple days after this drops and starts on Monday and tune in

or we're gonna call it fun day for Max fun. Sure, Why not? Where are you going to call it that all over the place? Uh, at the Denny's nationwide. At the place you're buying soup at the community pool. Uh-huh. Yeah. Down to the docks. When I do my show at the VFW all over at the wine tasting. I'm going to climb to the top of Liberty's torch. Yeah. And just shout it to the heavens. Tune in during the drive to catch these extra awesome episodes and hear about the exclusive thank you gifts we have in store for new and upgrading members. They're amazing stuff.

Plus, this will be your chance to show your support for the flop house and help Max Fun reach its highest goal ever, which is 10,000 new and upgrading Max Fun members. You can do it. Talk up Max Fun to the people who love it. And if you listen to us and you're not a Max Fun donor, hey, consider being a Max Fun donor. You're helping keep us in business. So the drive kicks off on March the 20th and runs for two weeks.

Visit maxifemfun.org for details and don't miss it. And also, there's a max fund meetup day. Let's mention that quickly. Yeah, the March 28th is the official max fund meetup day. So look in your local area, check on, look out there's a fund.org. Maximumfund.org slash meetups 2017. And specifically in Brooklyn, if you come down to hinterlands,

that's the bar that I own. I'm going to be there. There's going to be a couple of other max fund personalities, including I think you two guys. I can't promise anything. I'm going to be there. I don't know about Elliott. What day of the week is it? It's a Tuesday night. I just said it and I said the date. I always like Mr. Mixer put like he may show up. He might not but he's a phrase of the win. Not really a great way to describe Mr. Mixer. Well, what we're gonna do is we're gonna leave the door open and we're gonna leave a seat free for Elliot.

Like Elijah. Thank you. And a glass of wine. I wish I will not drink a glass of Guinness that Elliot might drink. Oh, that'll probably drink. And there's my my my presence possible. And I think a couple other local and by local I mean, New York based Max von podcasters are told me they may come by. Wow, it's a lot of commitments.

But the most exciting thing is the most, well, you'll meet Dan. He's got lots of time. And the most exciting thing is you'll be able to make other friends in the Max Fun community because Max Fun is not just about listening to stuff and then shutting yourself off from the rest of the world, it's about connecting, communicating and conlivalizing. That means living together. Oh, that's nice. And one of the nice things about my bar, Hunterlands, is I think it's the only bar where you can have a Max von podcaster cook your sandwich for you. I think that until John Hodgman opens up his sandwich restaurant, yes.

I mean, he's going to be working the grill on that Tuesday. I think that until until John Hodgman opens up his sandwich restaurant, yes. I mean, he's going to be working the grill on that on that teased it. I love that. I was that by if he's working the grill like an old time diner cook. Yeah, like a half apron and under sure. It was me. I'm like, Adam and eggs on a raft and wreck them. I can only imagine being his like boss and just being like, Oh, John, you're talking too much.

You got a cook. Is that a hair nut? You're bullying the customers. Stop judging their orders. Before we move on, one last sort of podcast related piece of business and that is our comic book is still available. Oh, great. It is yet to be yanked from the digital shelves and put in the Flophouse vault for a new generation

of fans. If you go to www.flophousepodcast.com, you have the chance to get our comic that... It's the first of what's going to be a series of Flophouse stories. Yes. This first one was written by Daniel Cama-Coy. Correct. It is, the theme for these first stories is horror. And so- So it gives us a chance to exercise our tails from the crypt muscles.

Uh-huh. And Dan's is out first, art by the amazing Roger Lengage. And Stuart's is up next, and then mine will be third. And each one, you can pay anything you want from a dollar on up, all the money goes to the ACLU, all the money after costs are covered, which they already have. They have been so all the additional money from now on. It's definitely going to the ACLU.

Most of the money that was already been given to us is going straight to the ACL, and everything from this point on is going to the ACLU. To support their work in keeping America free and legal. Their job is to uphold the bill of rights. Well, their job is to go to court to get the bill of rights upheld. Sure. I mean, it's not, they don't have the power to do it themselves. So they bring suits, lawsuits to court. I'm just saying that, you know, like I think that anyone on, honestly, on any part of the political spectrum should be the support of the ACLU, if you believe in the rights that are put down. If you believe in the fundamental rights of

the United States, I'm with you. Yes. I did, I did data, a woman who worked for fundraising for the ACLU for a lot of years. And she had a deal with a lot of phone calls from people telling her she worked for Satan. So that's a funny line of conversation. Anyway, well, if you don't think that they're Satan or if you do and you like Satan, go ahead and read the exciting story. What's it called? Cosmic Bowl. Cosmic Bowl is the name of the person. Written by Dan McCoy and all that money goes to a good cause

and there'll be more stories coming out. So that hopefully won't be too much of a disappointment after Dan's great little story. Dan's is really good. Stuart's story is a lot of fun. And mine might go too far. So let's see. So if you want to see it, then you got to keep honing up that cash. And hopefully the idea is if this does well

enough that we can really, you know, take it like give you a lot of money. Give us some excuse to keep getting to do more. Yeah. We'll pick another theme and then we'll all do those. Yeah. But Stuart, I think you have our first actual sponsor this evening. You can tell I am shifting back and forth in my seat because I can't wait to talk about this. Hey, Dan, are you hiring? I mean, not currently. Shut up.

Okay. Do you know where to post that job you were talking about to find the best candidate? I don't. What website you should post on? No, I don't. You know, Dan. Okay. Post posting your job in

only one place. That's not enough to find a great candidate. But I'm lazy. I just want to post it in one place. Calm down, Dan. If you want to find the perfect person, you need to post your job on all the top job sites. And know what Dan what cut it out. Dan now you can. Yes, you can post your job on all the top job sites using zip recruder. Oh, but my clicking finger I probably have that'll hurt my clicking finger. Oh no, Dan, you've been complaining about this finger forever. Now you can post this job on 200 plus job sites, including social media networks like your favorites, Dan.

Like, Facebook and Facebook, yeah. The Twitter's. Yep, Twitter's. Those are the laziest parody versions of those two websites. Yeah. The Twitter sounds like a, some place people in the Midwest would go on vacation

nearby, going up to the Twitter. Boys, and you can do that all with just a single click. So that click and finger? Just one single click. How is that possible? I don't know of the technology of it. I'm just kind of like a mouthpiece slash spokesperson. How do you have to say it was a positive because of Zip Recruiter.

Yeah, so if you need to find people in any city or industry nationwide, you can just post lunch. Post lunch, yeah, sure. It's like lunch without the L, which is the worst part of lunch. Hey, dude. Because L stands for loser. So lose that and you got a delicious lunch. I'm talking to Doug and the booth.

Can you just pause that? Or why don't We'll do it another time. Thanks Doug. Really? No, did prosthetic actor Doug Jones. Mocapacca. Yeah, Doug Jones. So you can just post-wunch. No. Hey guys, this has never happened to you. You want to have a delicious lunch, but you only have lunch. It sounds like lose the L and get unshified with new craft lunch.

It's the only lunch that comes pre-DL, so you don't end up with a lame lunch. Hey everybody, it's time for your lunch break. Okay. The lunch back of Notre Dame called. He carries anunch around on his back. So you can buy it to eat in the middle of the day. Doug, yeah, okay, just, I'll do it again, okay.

And right now our listeners, I'm done with that, I'm just, okay, don't let me just say it. Okay, I'll start over. And right now our listeners can post jobs on Zipper Cruder for free, that's you, the listeners, for free by going to zippercruiter.com slash first. How many times do we have to click?

Just once. Okay. That's zippercruiter.com slash first. One more time to try it for free. Go to zippercruiteruder slash what was that Dan? Dot com slash first. Yes. Perfect. Okay. I nailed that one. Yeah. Thanks Doug. Where I live? Stuggie Doug everybody. Our show tonight or whenever you're listening to this is also sponsored in part

by Blue Apron. Not all ingredients are created equal fresh high quality ingredients make a real difference. So it's important to know where your food comes from. Now blue apron is affordable. For less than $10 per person per meal, blue apron delivers seasonal recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients to make delicious home cooked meals. You get the ingredients in the mail from Blue Apron and then you gotta, you gotta zing them up. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, You don't have to zing them up. You put them together.

You put them together. You put them together. You put them together. You put them together and you zing them up and you get a delicious, delicious, You don't have to zing them up. It comes zing. Oh, delicious meal.

Look, you guys, as ever have a meal, you're hungry. Probably, man. You go on. You're hungry and you don't have a meal, you're hungry. Probably, Matt. You go on. You're hungry and you don't have any food, and you get a case of blue apron. All right. That's when you're really hungry, and you really want it, and you're waiting for it.

Maybe you even saw a bunch of things about food on TV, so you're really in the mood for food. Yeah, you're watching the Great British Bake Off, and you're like, well, what did I do this the other day? There's no food, so you get a case of blue apron. It happens, it's real. Anyway, you don't have to worry about that. If you get blue apron deliveries

because the food is literally coming straight to your door. Yeah. It's in your house. Here's some upcoming meals. You got your salmon piccata with orzo and broccoli. Yeah. Pork chops and miso butter with bok choy and marinated apple. That sounds great, definitely apple.

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Bluapern, a better way to cook. Build it beautiful. No incorrect wrong slogan. But now before we move on, I think we have a couple of jumbo trunks to Stuart since Ellie is on his phone. I think that that means that you should read it down the pipe. 5x5.

We got a Jojo Jojo Jojo Bo Tron. This message is for tall Tom. The message is from J dog. Hey, dude, can you believe I'm paying 100 bucks to talk to you through the original peaches? I've been drinking white box wine, and I'm trying to do this via my phone. I have to write everything into a tiny text box. Sad!

Happy birthday! How old are you? Hi, I'm Stuart Wellington, and I eat boogers. Wow. No, I'm kidding. I love you guys, and hope you never stop podding. Well, I do appreciate how every, almost every time when the word you is in there,

they replace it with the letter you, but not every single time. So excellent job, J-dog. Yeah, and in total Tom, happy birthday bud. Mm-hmm. And that confession in the middle where you admit that you eat bookers. The thing is they got to go somewhere. They're just taking up room in my nose and they're not paying rent. Hey why not just move them a little bit farther down?

Yeah yeah recycling. It's the type of recycling. Yeah you know it's it's kind of like have you ever read Dune? I think Dan you just got this reading. I just read Dune. It's similar to how like the Fremen take shits and pisses and their little outfits. I mean, I don't think that was how they described it. They never say Louis or L.F. They're little outfits take all that garbage and they drink herba.

It was like, it was water to drink. Yeah, I think Frank Herbert was like, there was a bunch of shits and pisses and the Fremen just soaked him up again. Yeah, because he was writing Frank Herbert was like, there was a bunch of shit and pisses and the Freyman just soaked him up again. Yeah, because he was writing an old-timey language and I'm writing another day in a new time slang term. Yeah, lead speak. Yeah.

So, what I'm just trying to say is, you know, maybe give boogers to you. Okay. This is a gross episode. I'm not going to read this other jumbo to you. Okay. This is a gross episode. I'm not sure about eating food from Fogers. How about I read this other jumbo tron, shall we? Sure. This is a message for John and in parentheses, Athen.

Who is this message from Valerie, parentheses, from Montreal? And here's the message. What better way to wish you a happy birthday than on your favorite podcast? You make my days so much more fun in my life so much more meaningful. You also introduce me to podcasts. Thanks to you, people in the metro and on the street,

all think I'm a crazy person, hearing voices and laughing for no reason. I love you, bone fat kitty. Aw. That's very nice. Too John from Valerie. It's very sweet and very French. Yeah.

Well, the last part especially. Mm-hmm. I mean, I'm glad you didn't make me read that. I would have pronounced it weird. Yeah, how would you pronounce it? I don't know. I don't have the letter in front of me. Bonnie.

Bonnie. That's a probably, yeah. So we should move on. What's the next part of this podcast, Dan? The next part of this podcast is letters from listeners where we read letters that you the listeners have sent in to us and the first one. It was a little something like this.

I've gotten a cavalcade of shorter letters this time. OK. Thanks for staring at me while you said that. Sure. The first letter feels like this. On a recent. Big L.A. it's working on a screenplay on his phone over there.

Yeah. On a recent episode, Stewart recommended the movie, Session 9. A movie about S bestos workers that gets spooky. As someone who works in the trade, there's a scene in the movie that found unintentionally hilarious. There's a movie where there's a moment where David Crusoe looks at some stuff in remarks. Yep, that's 100% crocodile-like pronounced like a crocodile version of Dolomite. There are several problems with this, not least of which being the correct pronunciation is Crow's Cid-a-Lite.

It's a bait meant one-on-one stuff, and these guys are supposed to be professionals. So it kind of took me out of it. Maybe it's like a nickname they had for it. Yeah. Go on. My question to you guys is, has there ever been a moment in a movie where you realize you knew more about some obscure thing than the writers did? And your suspension of disbelief came crashing down? That's from Aaron Lasting withheld. Hmm. Well, that happens to me a lot in movies that involve historical facts in some way, but where it hit

me a lot when I was a kid is when it would be a movie about dinosaurs. Like the aforementioned movies I watched while my Grammy was taking on that, and which you just see things that were not true about dinosaurs, and I'd be like, but that's not how dinosaurs work. Mm-hmm. Like when you're watching the X-Men anime series and you're like, but that's not how it happened in the comics. There was a little bit of that too.

I mean, the days of future past didn't involve Bishop. But if it did. Um, I mean, I've, I've joked about how, uh, anytime there's a scene where a bartender is, is working and a character says, leave the bottle. And the bartender is like, okay, and leaves a bottle liquor on the bar, and you're like, that's crazy. Who do you charge that person?

So that always is weird. Or when any time a person goes up to a bar and just orders a beer, you're like, what do you, I mean, there's a bunch on tap. It isn't like fucking 10 years ago when bars would have four beers on tap and it'd be like bud and bud light. I'm just saying. I mean, you can't go into a bar and just say, I'll have one. Mm hmm.

One what like a pickled egg. Maybe one bowl of pretzels. It's the old surprise man, like surprise me bartender. Give me all I know so I won't want to something. Some bloated jalapeno poppers. Here's a, here's a fucking glass of chartreuse. Enjoy it. I mean, that will get you super drunk.

If it's a pint glass, that's a frame. A pint glass of the most herbal drink. Yeah, that sounds good. You don't like the herbal stuff though. I do. I just don't like Fernay. You don't like Fernay Bronca? No.

Do you like Chinar? I don't even know what you're saying. I don't know what these things are. Chinar is an artichoke looker. So it combines two things you like like liquor and artichoke. No, thank you. Hey, how come there's no fried chicken liqueur? I'm, I guarantee you there is some kind of fried chicken

flavored something or other. I'm sure there's already like bacon flavored garbage that you can drink. If you're like, why didn't Blake bacon flavored garbage? I mean, that's a lot of garbage in America. It was bacon flavored. People eat and throw out a lot of bacon. Mm-hmm.

Should we move on? I mean, you didn't answer. Oh, I don't have an answer. I just asked the questions. I'm like the watcher. Okay. I think that kind of checks out, right? Let's see, lives alone on the moon.

Yes, check. Big bald head, check. Dresses like kind of a Roman baby man, check. Okay, breaks his vow all the time, check. Also, I just didn't have a good answer for this question. Oh, okay. So much like the watcher. This one.

If he's the watcher, would I be the guy from what the, the superhero guy guy was a pot on his head? Uh, four bush man. Yeah. Yes, sure. And you can be spider ham. Thank you. I would love that.

Peter Parker, the spectacular spider ham, definitely. This nice letter is from Carl last name with held. You know, you reminded me the spider ham story I wrote that was drawn but never published that Crazy here's a tale of Marvel books unpublished wine wine did out Why was it a there was a spider ham special that was being put out art by Dave McKean All yeah Dave McKean all of the all of the favorites Bilsink cabbage all the classic spider ham artists yep all of the favorites, Bill Sinkiewicz, all the classic Spider-Hamm artists, yep. Bill Dana, whatever his name is,

the Bill Sinkiewicz is crazy guy. It's crazy to be like only doing art about conservative politicians he hates now. I think there's a lot of artists doing that right now. So they were in a Spider-Hamm special and I was asked, hey, would you like to write a Spider-Hamm story? I said, yes, I would, very much so. And they said, I don't think it was my idea. I think they said, hey, would you like to write a spider ham story? I said, yes, I would very much so. And they said, I don't think it was my idea.

I think they said, hey, would you want to do like a take off of Old Man Logan, which had just come out recently called Old Man Spider Ham? And I was like, I would very much like to do that. And so it was an Old Man Spider ham story where he's given up, he's like, I've retired from adventuring. I, you know what? Someone have to try pretty hard to get me one last adventure. But it's clear he really wants to go back to adventuring and he leaves

his house to go find someone to drag him back into adventuring. And I was told that it was decided by the higher ups that they might want to do more with the old man Logan character and they did not want to get on the bad side of the creators of that character. They were going to shelve this story for now. And maybe someday it would see the light of day later. I was paid for it. It was drawn by Scotty Young. Oh, shit, dude. And it's, it just never got printed any.

I like the idea, though, that the creators of Old Man Logan would be like reading a spectacular spider ham story and being like, what the fuck? This is not okay. Throw it in a cross-letter room. Drawed by like award winner Scotty Young. And he did an amazing job. and being like, what the fuck? This is not okay. Throw it across the room. Drawn by like award winner Scotty. And he did an amazing job.

Like it looks great. That's fucking crazy. So nobody's seeing that anytime. Ugh. But the, Well, maybe with the success of the movie Logan, that they're interested in mining the old man Logan Vane has gone down.

I mean, they had old man Logan is now a regular character in the Marvel University as a zone series. They clearly did. And as it's been shown, if a character has a zone series, you can't make fun of them. That's just the way it works. Unless it's Deadpool making fun of himself. Exactly.

Deadpool showed up in this story too. In the Spider-Hamster. In the end, it turned into a joke about how Deadpool is like, are you trying to do us a convoy without Deadpool appearing in it? We can't have that right now. We've been talking a long time and we haven't actually ever read the letter

that this is attached to. So keep going. Okay, so do it. Uh, this fellow. Well, she's been around the world from something to something, Vania and she's up and up down, where do you up down, down the thing? Anyway, she went to Belgium and then back to Tanzania,

tell me where in the world is that lady who wears a hat? Well, her name is San Diego. So baby, she's in San Diego. We look to San Diego, but it's a big city. So we'll need a little bit more time to look for Carmen San Diego and San Diego. And San Diego is Carmen San Diego. Well, we think we know to down to the city and her name. Oh, I mean, she's in this place. That's called San Diego to

City in her name But Carmen San Diego come along and join us you can look for her to Where in San Diego is Carmen San Diego. We checked around the convention center and over by the shore. All right. Anyway, high original peaches. I think it's I think it's great that you're making the episodes longer. Uh oh. How come you're making them longer? Best regards, Carl Last name with hell. Well, because we have these San Diego songs It's a weird kind of laziness that involves us doing less work of editing ourselves and to do more work of just blabbing

You know When you get really good at something you assume everyone wants more of that thing Was it was it Tom? Broke off. Yeah. Noonan. Hold on. Was it Tom Tom the Baker? No. Sorry. Tom Jones. Was it Mark Twain? Tom Jones the book. Was it Mark Twain? I was thinking of Tom Sawyer. Was it Mark Twain who said the line about, I'm sorry that I wrote you such a long letter. I didn't have time to write you a shorter one. I don't know if it was him. I think it was somebody else.

But there's something to that. I think it might have been Tom Newton. Possibly Winston Churchill, but I don't think so. I'll look it up. There's a lot of truth in that. I'll look it up on my pocket. Where it takes more work to edit something down and be succinct and oh it certainly is a skill to be able to make more funny jokes in a shorter period time.

Yeah exactly. Elliot's looking at this. This attributes it to Pascal. Wait from Rose's Rose? Pascal. Hmm. Wait, from roses rose? No, nope. That's right. The child from roses rose. From the mouths of babes come such wisdom. And Stuart's back. He went and got a beer moving on. In two recent episodes, this is from Sean Lasting withheld, by the way. In two.

No, it's Sean Hayes. Goodreads Quote does attribute it to Mark Twain, but I don't think that's the case. A lot of things have been attributed to Mark Twain. Like Huckleberry Finn, which he wrote. It was correctly attributed to him. What? I don't say. Sean Last name withheld says, in two recent episodes, number 220, The Trust and 223,

the last witch hunter. Spanning several weeks. Dan makes a series of mouth noises that he plainly thinks is an imitation of saxophone music. Dan, do you remember what that sounds like? You know, like the biggest thing. And what is this person able to say about that? Because it does not sound like a saxophone.

Clearly, however, he's making trumpet sounds. Yes, that's what I would say. Or maybe trombone sounds. Point being, he is under no... That's what I'm saying. He's under no sort of snances Sounding like a damn saxophone How does this happen twice with either Elliott North Stewart calling bullshit on dance failure to imitate a saxophone?

I'm genuinely flamicked yours Sean. Here's I think the problem. I think the saxophone in Baker Street does not sound enough like a saxophone. No and You know I stopped listening to morphine records quite a while ago, so I don't listen to saxophone sounds that often. Yours would also. I would dare say that the saxophone is among the hardest instruments to accurately do a mouth sound of. A poor need. A poor need.

I challenge you guys to do an accurate saxophone. Hmm, okay, let's try it. And I never made the claim that I could. Shit, I challenge you guys to do an accurate saxophone. Okay, let's try it. And I never made the claim that I could. No, I know, but this is for Shawn's benefit. Okay, Shawn, here's my, okay, here's what a sax one sounds like to me. Strakes on the China, never been there before. Who cares? Dropkick your jacket, as a kid, the door, no one's there.

Now that's either a saxophone or the Mr. Belvedere. That was pretty good. Let me, okay, give me a second. Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, and that sounds like a trumpet too. Okay, I'm almost ready. Ooh, ah! Ah!

Ah! Wait, okay, so this is the saxophone done? Ah! Ah! Ah! Is that a sex one sound? Yeah. I don't know.

I think the first one was pretty close. So I was like, that is streaks on the china. Yeah. I have a band there before. I think that's it. Okay. What about this?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Is that a sex one? I don't know. I got it. Oh, oh. Here's a saxophone sound Jess Sit who boost it good dog good saxophone We got some more time to kill you guys getting more goose How about this?

Oh, no, yeah saxophone. Yeah, that's a leaky faucet Oh, nope, yeah saxophone. Yep. That's a leaky faucet You got it get any more saxophone noise We got more time to get it out of the saxophone. I like this How with this That's gross All right, well, thank you. Sean. Is this one of saxophone sounds like? Oh, yeah. Boom, boom. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, was wondering if you had considered starting a flop house cinematic universe parentheses f-c-u given your growing stable of franchise as such as

Ziggy the house cat seven pounds and of course rocket crocodile and the ding dong from castle free and let's not forget five head the f-c-u presents many questions would there be a peaches team film with the first film shoot walla shawn to Roberting Jr. like Stardom and which movie does Stallone star with the peaches appear in every film. If anything comes of this I'll accept the standard $700,000 fee for one of your scripts. Keep flopping in the free world and mark last name withheld. Guys I'm gonna pitch I think for I think we're gonna go with a surprise character but I think

this one's got legs literally. I'm talking about the Southern granny who just happens to love that tan tan. Perfect. Great. Because it's a popular bit. Okay. And I'll tell you there's a whole world around this, this granny. In the post credit sequence, I think the, oh, kid will show up. Now, the house cat is a character just kind of gets hinted at in London. We're the granny walks into, let me, let me finish. Granny walks into her parlor. There's a tinted, lovely, yeah. She's, uh, she's got her arms full of tinted in books. Oh, she loves her haze. We original French versions, not the American reprints. Okay.

And she's super excited to get down to reading those shits. And she goes in and there's a kid with his back to her. And he says, I'd like to invite you to the Ploughhouse Initiative. And then says, uh-oh, really loud. And then the audience goes, no way. Yeah, yeah. Now, the house cat is clearly like the one they're building up to, right?

Yeah, yeah, he's hinted at. There's much of house cat jewels that they have to get. That's the first thing. Yeah, there's a lot of house cat easter eggs like, uh, so, uh, let me just try on the sunglasses this backwards hat. And they'll are like, that's what the house cat wears. In certain scenes in some of the movies, there

will just be a skateboard skating through the background of the scene and you'll like, wait a minute. Uh oh. And now because it's a cinematic universe, as we all know, each movie has to end with some sort of blue energy portal that needs to be closed so that energy isn't sucked out of it or doesn't come out of it into our world. No, if possible, large chunk of the movie needs to be dedicated to our heroes kind of discovering their powers. Oh, nothing better than that.

Everyone needs to have a scene where a character does something cool and then looks at their hands like, did I do that? Especially when Erkel shows up. He's gonna say it. I was talking to you guys before we were recording about how in the Marvel movies, that really bothers me that I have to keep watching characters going through the same arc

of discovering their powers and they always do the thing. Or also, you're trapped in some kind of fucking like Camus style loop. I was gonna say Groundhog Day, but yeah, similar. And they look at their hands and go like, I think Sart is more appropriate. And yeah, yeah I think you're right, but uh if Erkel was in those movies

I would want to do that every single scene look his hands go did I do that? Yeah, and he's essentially Tony Stark. He makes a robot. He loves cheese Much like Tony Stark babies That's why he originally was going to be iron mouse. The cheese powered armored superhero. Is that so wait, in the Spider-Ham universe is the animal version of Iron Man is he a mouse? I think so. I can't remember. There's cat in America who's a cat. And I think daredevil's a moose. Because they were to a crossover with the Darkwing Duck universe. They did not. That's lame. It is lame. But maybe someday, hey, these people love these intercompany crossovers. You got Superman fighting the mighty more empowering Rangers. You got the peanut characters meeting, he man, you've got little Annie Fanny meeting

the snorke's people love these crossovers. Yeah. And my, in my version, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the Flophouse Cinematic Universe, now you got, of course, Kurt Russell is going to turn out to be Star Lord's dad and the upcoming Garden of the Galaxy. And the upcoming Flophouse Universe movie, of course, the houseguests dad will turn out to be sea biscuit. The world's most popular horse. It's a sea biscuit. Gotta go out to get some cigarettes and I'll never be back. See you. Who's playing sea biscuit? What

big star? That you were like, I never thought they'd be in a superhero movie. I mean, I think based on the voice Don Mott's is pulling sea mishit. Great. The late Don Mott. The late ghost of Don Mott. Okay. Now he's the ghost and someone else is Mr. Chicken. No, no, no, maybe I'll add to jump in the jump in there and handle that shit for us. I guess they could make it happen. The ghost and Mr. Chicken too.

Now he's the ghost. Oh, you just called the ghost of Mr. Chicken. Yeah. We got one last letter that I want to write, read. Oh, you just called the ghost of Mr. Chicken. Yeah. We got one last letter that I want to write read. No, write it. I'll write it to. I don't care. I don't fucking care anymore. Dear Flop House forum, I never thought this would happen to me. There I was sitting with my two best friends when all of a sudden, my winner totally popped out and I started shooting blue energy out of my hands. The end.

This is from Elvis last name withheld. Presley who writes, I'm new to the flop house and I've been going through the back catalog. By the way, I would love like a series of penthouse correspondence where a guy writes a letter. And then they have to write back and be like, no, you're a little too brief. Can you explain a little more? What was it going on? Why was the naked lady in the library? I don't understand.

You mentioned that you had sex with this person. Could you kind of describe that sex a little bit? Were you in a, you didn't notice the mentioned location. Were you in a place where it'd be strange to have sex or we're after rousing? Now you didn't really describe the woman. Was she beautiful, sexy? Now, what were her measurements? The more words you can use to create a verbal portrait

would really help us in selling this to the readers. This is the letters from the editor back to the letter writers. He workshops his letter before publicating. That's the letters to the editor. That one you just bought from the editor. Thearsers, I took issue with your most recent pictorial. When you describe your Venus, can you suggest that it might be surprisingly large? Actually, I read a book about

pornography a while back, or about the four big porn magazines. And I mentioned that for a time, Bob Guccioni, the publisher of Pen House, was really convinced that Golden Showers were the future of sexual entertainment. And this was, it was only a matter of time before this became the mainstream way that couples expressed their sexuality. You said stream and I think that's appropriate. And there was, the staff had to convince him that this was not the case to stop doing these features.

But I imagine they got quite a few letters to the editor at the time. Dear Sirs, I have long been, enjoyed your product and proudly displayed it on my coffee table when I had family or friends over to visit. But recently I found that the magazine has taken a urinary turn that I do not find appropriate. I have enjoyed your pictorials of women who appear to be examining their own genitals, perhaps for some disease or something. But this urinary... As an airbrushing enthusiast, I've put up with the fact that you've used naked women to demonstrate

today's hottest airbrushing techniques. And yet now I find you have gone too far. What happened to the days when I only had to worry about, say, frontal nudity when perusing the latest tips and tricks from professional air rushers. I remember in college buying a penthouse from Hastings, Internaidment Store, and being surprised that the amount of urine play being featured in the amazing... Now you know. Now you know. Wow.

That's why that elderly cashier looked at me weird. It wasn't because of my KMFDM t-shirt, because of my choice of entertainment, which was penthouse magazine. All right. Well, we're just going to say that. And a DVD copy of Donnie Darko. I'll take this DVD, Donnie Darko, and this Golden Shower Penthouse. I have a strange series of fetishes. I mean, regular shower pens. I know.

No. Uh, Elvis writes, I'm new to the Flapp House, and I've been going through the back catalog. I love experiencing small members and shock tobers of the past, and wanted to suggest a new holiday month in November called Stuart Timber. I would say it, Stuart Art Timber, and it would have about three episodes for the month and Peter Castle Freak headed the family in the invisible maniac.

Two of you are probably thinking, wait, that's great from one Stuart Timber, but what about next year? Well, the thing about Stuart Timber is that he kills a guy with the submarine sandwich. Elvis last name with help. So he makes it good. He answers exactly the question you had, which is that would be good for one Stuart Timber. Does he? Now, I know that Dan listens to my recommendations pretty carefully and acts on them.

L.A. Have you seen the visible maniac? Oh, yeah, I saw it. I remember you showed me that it was on YouTube and I watched the whole thing. Mm-hmm. Have you seen Castle Freight? I saw it in a theater when you were hosting it. Okay. And I drove you to that screen. I've seen pretty rude of me not to the tens. Have you seen the granny?

I still have not seen the granny nor head of the family. What were you about to say about the granny? The girl really took over from head of the family. It's not again there, right? Yeah, it overtook it. It used to be kind of, I mean, have the families great. It's hard to say that the movies that I watch are only four, are only three movies when they should be only four movies.

I mean, neither the demons was coming in close for a while. I think the granny overtook it. Yeah, neither demons. That's more like when I want to show off how already I am that I'm into like, you know, more head-e-cinema, cerebral stuff. Hey, Dan, what's the next part of this podcast? Okay, Allie, it needs to go home, apparently. Yeah. I've been a little out of it for the second half of this,

as happens sometimes when we're recording, something has happened in my personal life that I've been notified of via text during the recording and it has distracted me. Sorry about that. The last part of the podcast is where we're you're apologizing for, Elliott. I don't, I, I, I thought it was apologizing to me.

No, okay. Ah, nah. The last part of the podcast is where we recommend movies that we actually liked that you could watch instead of wasting your time on Max Steel. Stewart, do you have something? I do. I guess this is going to be, let's, let's call this a controversial recommendation. I'm going to recommend the 2016 movie from Nicholas Wendig Reffen, the Neon Demon. All right.

Now, if you are, I mean, this dude's made a Shillow to movies. Yeah, sure. If you are kind of in the market for one of his movies, you've probably already seen this one and decided whether or not this is for you or not. This is not a movie. Similarly, God forgives this. It's not a movie that I would recommend to just any Joe on the street. This is something that there's a movie that is, let's say, light on plot. You could probably write the entire script on an index card. And the, if you try and look at the story on some kind of, as a metaphor, it's pretty straightforward

and pretty thin. But, uh, thin on story, rave, store Wellington. Yeah, yeah, I mean, this is a movie that's kind of a weird recommendation, but it's a movie that like, similar to only God forgives, I left it, you know, and I guess enjoying it, and definitely liking how beautiful the movie is. I like the music. I like how strange the movie kind of leaves you

with no sense of like, it never gives you anything that you can really feel grounded with You get some strange performances from piano reaves and others And it's pretty gory and has a really crazy ending so The Neon demon why not all right? Very vague right in the day. Very vague right. I watch it. I watch it the same night as I watched Academy Award nominee fences, which is like the exact opposite movie.

Whereas the neon demon featured almost no dialogue and when that dialogue was delivered, it felt like it was delivered by people who had never spoken before. And then I watched fences, which was like a deluge of dialogue. Like anytime there was a moment when somebody wasn't talking, you had to take a deep breath of air so that you didn't drown in it. I'm going to recommend, I will say that I saw get out.

I will not recommend that because it does not people not recommending movies during African Americans on this episode. I'm not right. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to get out technically the star is English. I Jesus Christ. I should have not the only reason I'm not recommending get out is because I don't need to. I liked it a lot and everyone in the world liked it. It's it's huge movie. Yeah, it's boy, arm and white. Did he not like it? No, he took a fucking shit. He didn't like it. Of course, because everybody used the one critic who knocked it. Yeah, I was great. Go see it. I'm only not recommending it because everyone has already seen it.

The movie I'm going to recommend is much more obscure. It's movie that you cannot see. I went to... So long recommendation. It played only in my head and it's called Dan's Dream. I went to a... You features me in the Bevy of Babes. I went to a... Go on. I was just gonna laugh about Dan's Grammy. I went to a, go on. I'm just going to laugh about Dan's Grammy. I went to a Alamo Drafthouse screening of The Devils, a 70s film from Ken Russell, starring Oliver Reeve and Oliver Alvar Reed, sorry, and Vanessa Redgrave. And it's a movie about a priest in France who is the priest in a city that has a lot of Protestants in a place that's in the country that's very Catholic at the time. And because he is protecting these Protestant members of his community, Cardinal Richelieu wants to take him down.

Basically, it's a movie that has not been able to be seen for a long time. Warner's has taken it out of circulation because it has a lot of blasphemous imagery, including a non-played by Vanessa Redgrave having a fantasy about Oliver Reed as Jesus, where she licks his side wound. And there's also later in the movie where Cardinal Richelieu's, are you gonna spoil all the good bits? Later in the movie Cardinal Richelieu's Lackie convinces a bunch of courses, a bunch of nuns basically to pretend that they're possessed by devils.

And there's a bunch of basically naked nuns conforming around. And that sort of thing was probably frowned upon about by the Catholic Church. But it seems like he found out a way to pull off that. It'd be funny if we made out as a joke. Yeah. It does nuns.

It's a very exploitative movie, but at the same time it manages to figure out how to be an exploitative movie while also being basically a religious movie. Because my experience of watching it was the same as, say, watching TSLA's murder at the cathedral, where it is a movie about a basically pious religious man, a flawed definitely,

but pious religious man who is killed because of political reasons. And that makes it like the fact that it is exploitative does not take away from the fact that it is at heart a very moral film. But it's very hard to see. I mean, I feel like don't earn a lot of exploitive films like at their heart, like weirdly moral in that they, the more moral characters are the ones that come off best in it. Well, you could say that the exploitation that they enact is a way of upholding certain social values that are either the flip side of our except the values or actually those values that by exploiting specific either sexual or violent or whatever things, they're actually highlighting stuff that is a part of mainstream society and just taking away

the layers of fiction around it. Oh, yeah, like holding up a mirror. I would say less, well, maybe, not maybe deliberately holding up a mirror, but it being like, this is the stuff that is built into society that you like, but we have to pretend we don't like it. I'm not going to show you, but it gets delivered to you in other forms. I'm just going to give it to you in a raw form. Mm-hmm. Anyway, it's a great movie. It's kind of like a Foucault. This is Devils, The Devils. The Devils.

It's hard to see. But if you get a chance to, it's definitely worth it. I found it transfixing from beginning to end. Okay, four recommendations. No, no, no, no, no. Elliot hasn't. No, no, no, that was two recommendations in the space of four recommendations.

So I'm gonna make my recommendation real fast. I saw a new movie for once where it was from this Pat from last year and that's The Lobster directed by your ghost lanthimos of dog tooth fame and starring in all star cast Colin Farrell, Rachel Weiss, all sorts of people, John C. Riley and Bond girl, Lise Du, right? And it is the story.

Lorsky Do. If you're not fully aware of it, it is very dog tooth and style, and that it is kind of dead pan, grotesque humor, about a world where it is, the government demands everyone be in a loving couple.

Single people are not to be allowed. So if you're single, you're sent to a hotel where you have a set amount of time to fall in love with someone else. And if that doesn't happen, you are turned into an animal of your choice. And the main character decided he will be a lobster, played by Colin Farrell, if he doesn't. That's why it's called the lobster. Yep. But there's also a people who live out in the woods who are living alone and are constantly being hunted by these people in the hotel. And it is kind of, I mean, in its broadest strokes,

it is kind of a grotesque comedy of... It's a black comedy. But what it's about ultimately is how systems of rules that attempt to control behavior too much, I guess, war human beings into the shape of that behavior in ways that are terrifying. And it, the movie kind of loses its way after a while, but it plays out the rules that it set up to the logical conclusion point. And I thought, though

that it was not fun at times, I found it actually really funny and well thought out, it's not a movie to watch if you don't like unpleasant things. Yeah, for instance, I'll say the knee on demon in the movie I recommended is super gross. I don't recommend it if you don't like gross things. The lobster don't watch if you don't like violence against animals or the threat of eye trauma. Like there's not a lot of that, but there is enough of it and it comes at...

Let's say in surprising ways. And it's the way that it's edited that is a style that's meant to be like funny because it's so shocking. And because it's distanced, it is a, going out of its way to not be melodramatic and to be very matter-of-fact about the way it presents things that are horrifying. But because of that, it makes it like a little more horrifying. Yeah, and it also means that you're like, you don't know what's fucking coming sometimes.

Oh, yeah, very much so. It's a, it's a surprise movie at the time. And you know what? Make a John C. Riley double feature of it. He's in this, and I really enjoyed King Kong's skull island. So for two very different tastes of John C. Riley double feature of it. He's in this and I really enjoyed King Kong skull island. So for two very different tastes of John C. Riley, the lobster and Kong skull island, the movie that says, hey, what do you expect from movie called Kong skull island? We're gonna deliver it to you. No surprises, but you get a lot of Kong. Get a lot of Kong.

One more can you want? Get a lot of Kong. What more can you want? So we should wrap up. We should wrap up. Obviously very distracted at this point in the podcast. Elliot is texting. I cannot put a coherent defense of the movie The Devils Together. No, you're not a fine job, dude. Thank you. And Stuart is just happily just being stew. Man. Yeah, do keep on keeping on. But for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. Hey, he's been Dan McCoy. Thanks. Stuart Wellington just said that thing about Dan McCoy. Dan McCoy, everybody, let's hear from him. Yay! Oh man, you son of a bitch.

I don't like you, but Goddamn it, I respect you. You don't like me? And texting on my phone, I'm Elliot Kaylen. And I, everyone. A male porn star when it's a performer that you recognize and kind of like is more like a surprise. We're talking about hetero porn, I'm assuming. Yeah, yeah, hetero porn.

I'm just talking about if you're a hetero male or a woman who likes to look at hetero porn. Sure. When you see it's like, you're not going to the movie for David Paymer. But when David Paymer shows up in a small role, you're like, oh, this is nice. So you're going to that porn for the female star. But then a male star, you recognize shows up, and you're like, oh, okay. He's got a really high plan of fight with that guy.

Yeah, I get that. His penis reminds me of my own penis. This is, I could really project myself onto this one. I'm always impressed by Peter North's copious amounts of gizz. Wow. When is copious ever used for some of the things other than gizz? Lots of things. Lots of things copious notes.

I get out of your word. I'm trying to decide whether this is the end of the show fun or not. No, I don't think so. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artists don't. Listen or supported.