The Flop House - Ep. #242 - Rings LIVE!
Episode Date: October 14, 2017We discuss Rings, live at the Regent Theater in downtown L.A., with special guest Jordan Morris of Jordan Jesse Go! Wikipedia synopsis for Rings  LIVE SHOWS Oct. 21 – Toronto, at the Royal Thea...ter Dec. 9 – San Francisco, at the Marines Memorial Theater
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On tonight's episode, we discuss rings.
The movie, not the things.
And Rand Los Angeles. And there's no change to the original lineup, dude.
All right, let's start the actual podcast now. Where it's nicely.
Beautiful intro.
Michael Angelo, the Ninja Turtle, has long been a member of the guys.
Okay, let's start it up.
Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy.
I'm Elliot Kaelin.
And I'm Jordan Morris.
Sorry, I was still doing my steward impression in the first syllable of that.
I'm Jordan Morris, filling in for Stuart Wellington.
Hi. And we are live at the Regent Theatre in Los Angeles, California,
USA. Now we've already explained to the live audience, but we should explain to the people
at home that Stuart cannot be here for this live show. Stuart, unfortunately, is lame.
Yeah, well, literally.
I mean, literally, you cannot well walk.
Actually, a literal sense of lame.
I shouldn't have, that's not a word I should have used.
That's not good.
Stuart heard his back.
Through some combination of having a week back,
and playing eight hours straight of board games,
he somehow heard his back, and he could not be here with us tonight.
But we have filling in the ever capable, ever also white guy with brown hair,
Jordan Morris.
Woo!
Now, you're a listener of the podcast, right?
Yes, I'm a fan, so I feel like I've won a contest or something.
It's like a real-life Judas pre Priest story, right up here on stage.
Yeah, no, I mean, I actually...
I was talking like that reference, sir.
For a while, Judas Priest was led by a frontman
who had previously been the frontman at a Judas Priest tribute band.
All right.
Harry on, Jordan.
They made, I believe, two albums together.
Not their best, there's a few okay songs on Jordan. They made, I believe, two albums together. Not their best, there's a few okay songs on there.
And then it was primed for the glorious return
of the Man himself, Rob Halford.
Oh yeah!
Let's listen to another one of Rob Halford's great hits.
Well, lay it.
We're supposed to play, you got another thing coming.
OK.
Did not have the rights to that.
But not clear that. You got to clear these
bits with me beforehand. Yeah, I just I thought you had a magic music machine.
Which would be a great kids show. Yeah. Is this going to affect my interpretive dance
to hey Jude? This is going to be in the second act. Yeah, so you know speedy recovery to
Stewart, both for his benefit. Yeah, we wanted to
do for the listeners. Yeah, because they want to hear him too. Yeah, but tonight it's
the scariest time of the year. Tax season. Am I right, everybody? Oh, boy, Ellie. Come on.
Come on. All right.
Guys, let's wrap.
Let's be honest about a few things.
The government is taking things from us that belong to us.
And it's time for us to stand up.
Hey, everybody.
I want to join talk about an organization that's gotten kind of a bad wrap in the news these days.
It's called People Who Hate Other People for America.
Now, hatred's gotten a bad rap.
But you know what comes out of hatred?
What comes out of hatred, dig?
Give me a positive thing that I can spin.
What comes out of hatred?
Yeah.
You know what comes out of hatred?
The song, you're so vain.
Everybody loves it.
Thank you.
I'll sit down now.
So Dan, what are we doing in this podcast? Oh, this is a podcast
Where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it to return to my original thought though
This is the time of year where we watch scary movies. Oh, yeah, it's October
Yeah, and so tonight we watched a movie that was
terrifying in its derivativeness.
Rings, the third sequel, well the second sequel, the third movie in the rings.
Nice catch, I was going to jump all over you for that.
If anything like, Elliot, you've taught me to be a better man.
By being consistently mean to me.
So I'm worried about whether you're
going to attack me. I'm like your own private Marines drill sergeant.
Yeah. Now rings, let's just get one thing off the bat. We're not talking about the Lord
of the Rings movies, that's different rings movies. And we're not saying to us, not
talking about say yes to the ring, a wedding show that doesn't exist.
Are we talking about what's on the base of my penis right now?
Dan, can I talk to you about our substitute coach?
That's a wrap a little.
He's amazing.
He's doing a great job.
He's doing a fantastic job.
But don't tell Stuart.
Don't let him know that and don't let Stuart know.
Okay. Because I'm going to tear him down so I can build him up. All right
Now we're talking about rings which is what the third in the ring
It's third in the ring cycle
Wagner's classic works
Telling the story of the ring of the Nye Belongin only only on fall of the Norse gods
Only at a live podcast you get in a plasbrake for a Wagner joke
a live podcast you get a pause break for a Wagner joke. A live podcast or the Metropolitan Opera? I think that if you had a Wagner joke at the Metropolitan Opera, the reaction you would get is
shhh.
Very fair point.
That's a good point.
Only one way to find out to the opera gentlemen.
No one's ever done a comedy set at the opera.
We've raking new ground. After that, can we go to the opera gentlemen. No one's ever done a comedy set at the opera. We've raking new ground.
After that, can we go to the races?
Spend a whole day there, and then we'll have a monkey business.
And then we'll go to the circus where things will not
be quite as funny because the circus is already a crazy place.
So do unleash crazy people there.
It's not a weird kind of.
Natural dutch to position is not one that creates a lot of comedy. But let's talk about rings.
OK, so we're all familiar with the main deal of the ring
movies.
There's a creepy video tape.
You'll watch it, and you're like, this is creepy.
This is like a nine-inch nails video.
And then you had a phone call, ring ring, hello,
and a voice is seven days.
Now that means you have seven days left to live,
but it couldn't mean anything. The voice provides very little context. voices seven days. Now, that means you have seven days left to live,
but it couldn't mean anything.
The voice provides very little context.
It's up to you to figure out what's going on.
So that's the, then they made two other,
what, originally, what, where was that movie from originally?
What, the original one, yeah.
Is it Japanese movies?
And then where did the other ones come from?
Dwarver Vensky.
OK.
Very true.
So this isn't the Gorge Vensky series.
And should we just jump into the plot?
Let's jump into the plot of Ring.
The movie starts in the most hilarious way possible.
We're on a very turbulent plane.
And this guy is really nervous.
And this girl across the aisle is like, hey, what's wrong?
It's OK.
And he goes, he literally says, you ever hear about this video tape
that kills you when you watch it?
It's like this movie is wasting no time.
Allow me to exposition.
He then tells her about it and gets a nosebleed.
He runs to the bathroom, and her friend shows up and says,
what was that all about?
And then she tells her friend, there's this video that
kills you when you watch it.
Also, why isn't she sitting next to her friend?
I mean, I assume her friend either went to the bathroom
or it's like one of those musical chairs planes
where everyone keeps moving around.
Oh, yeah, musical chair air.
The musical chair.
You don't need a seat number.
Oh, so it's a spirit.
Yeah, or Southwest, or yeah.
Then the girl is like, her friend is like, wait, he said what?
Both of them have seen this ring video.
Suddenly, it's all bumpy and turbulencey.
The ring video, which again, is a bunch of crazy surreal scenes,
black and white, grainy, that end with a creepy girl coming out of a well.
And the ring video starts appearing on people's seat back. On the radar screens, the cockpit, on people's seat back.
Everybody's just thinking to themselves,
is this the weirdest episode of the Big Bang Theory ever?
Yeah.
They're like, oh, I clicked on the version in flight,
like the special stuff that they just make for the plane.
I wanted to find out how they clean the plane.
Yeah.
I didn't need to see a creepy centipede
crawling under a table.
But it also, I like to believe that a thing came up that said,
the falling movie has been modified for your screen.
Yeah.
And then it starts playing for a little bit.
They have three categories in version.
They have new releases.
They have music.
And then they have omens.
Yeah.
And if you accidentally select omens.
Don't select that by accident.
Because then like someone behind you catches a glimpse
of it now.
They're going to die in seven days.
There's sludge and bugs suddenly everywhere in the plane.
Hey, it kind of sounds like spirit airlines, huh?
I mean, we kind of did a spirit airlines joke, but...
Piggy backing off, dads!
A spirit air joke that was very popular.
This is the spirit house.
All talking about spirit airlines.
A ghost on the plane, more like spirit.
Okay, sorry.
I gave, I gave Jordan for the listeners at home.
I gave Jordan a sly.
Come on.
Look, like, come on.
Why is it going?
Let's knock it off.
We got a show to do.
And then, star of the ring movies, Samara,
the ring girl herself climbs out of the screen
and suddenly your screen at home or in the movies
goes to static.
And then, every once in a batch movie,
everyone's favorite group of words
that can come up on screen two years later.
Oh, it's so sweet. Two years later. Why? It doesn't really need to be
playing. It could literally have just been like a week later. And everything would
have been exactly the same. Two years is the perfect time because it's long
enough for everybody to forget that a plane crashed because of crazy ghost
girls. And it's not so long that you're like, this tape would have deteriorated
by now. Yeah, and I guess that brings me to one of my first pieces of confusion about
the movie. Lay it on a set. I know I have not this was the first ring movie I have
ever seen and it seems like you can die. It was an audible gasp in the crowd. Sorry
ringheads. They're called ring goes there
They call us those stars or ring goes. Yeah
So it's you like you can die two ways in this movie you can get ringed or you can get final destination
It's what we'll get to that this move at a certain point
Samaritan must have seen one of the final destination movies or all of them. Yeah. And she's like, they look like they're having fun. It would save me a lot of well-crawling out of time.
If I could just arrange for crazy accidents to kill people.
The limits of her power are pretty blurry in this movie.
And they only get blurrier.
Two years later, it's a flea market of some kind.
And this kind of punkish girl is looking at a VCR.
And she seems to meet Johnny Galecki,
but it's later established that they've already know each other,
but their conversation appears to be two people
who have never met before.
He's a collector.
He loves old vintage VHS stuff,
and he mentions, I heard all this VHS stuff
came from the family of a guy who died in a plane crash,
because this movie, here's what I learned from this movie,
people love telling each other urban legends all the time.
If you know an urban legend about anything,
anyone's gonna wanna hear it.
Buyers standards, your mom, I don't know.
An interesting thing about the flea market
is they're panning across the stuff, the VCR,
and they show VHS tapes of both Jurassic Park and Alien.
And I think that breaks a cardinal rule of filmmaking
is don't remind people of good movies
in your shitty movies.
A lot of times when they do that movies,
it's like, this is a little bit of a challenge.
We're gonna beat these movies at their own game.
But yeah, all I could think about from that point
I was like, oh, I wish I was watching Alien.
Yeah, they should just show you like shark NATO
and demolition man.
It's like, yeah, it could be worse, right?
Demolition Man holds up pretty well.
Yeah.
Thank you.
We got some head heads out here.
That's what Demolition Man has had to call themselves.
We got some C-shell wipers in the collection.
Some fans of the least motivated nude scene ever.
Oh, you mean when someone literally cold calls
Sebastian Stallone nude and then goes, oh, wrong numbering.
Take this away.
Oh, it's like, it's so funny.
And then he has a look on his face like,
oh, like, no, I don't even know that was gonna happen.
But the future's not so bad, oh.
I guess, since people still have nude bodies
under their clothes in the future,
I thought you were all gonna be a bunch of robo people.
Time to eat some taco bell and get the seashell out of my ass.
If you've seen Demolition Man, it all makes sense.
So Johnny Galecki is a collector.
Later, back in his apartment with this woman
that until the moment you see her in his apartment,
you thought was a stranger.
He leaves and he watches the tape.
Classic gets the phone call says seven days.
He goes, who is this?
A CGI fly emerges from his joint,
not his elbow joint like he's smoking a joint.
And rain starts falling upward.
Uh-oh, rings, title sequence.
Now we cut to the next storyline,
because for a little bit, it's a little hard to tell
who's the main character of this movie.
Yeah.
It's not the guy who died on the plane, I think.
I thought it was Johnny Galecki,
but then he disappears for a while.
Maybe it's this girl, Julia, who's with her boyfriend, who proceeds to tell her the story
of Orpheus for no reason.
But he's got that.
One of the original urban legends.
I love to be a mythology professor and be like, you know, in a way, Greek myths with
the original urban legends.
In that Athens was a city state.
And a legend is meant to explain a thing.
As our myths, everybody turn my chair around.
Let's talk about how Greek myths relate to our life.
Now for instance, one time I pissed off a god and he made it so everything I touched turned
to gold. So then Zeus turns into a swan and says, you up?
That's pretty good.
Pretty good.
That's pretty good.
It's way bright on that bowl.
It's way bright on that bowl.
Explain the leader story.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now I should mention this is something that bothers me in movies that her boyfriend has, which
is, this is the, see thing you've seen in a lot of movies, we're a really attractive guy
has one of those like, every man in New York, Boston accents the, see, thing you've seen a lot of movies. We're a really attractive guy, has one of those like,
every man in New York, Boston accents that's supposed to make you feel like,
oh, he's just a regular guy, even though he's got like a 13 pack,
and very strong eyebrows.
But he's like, he's like, yeah, he goes all the way down to hell just to get his girl.
Yeah, you know, it's, yeah, and it's like, stop it. Come on.
You got to be Greek, this relatable. I just don't like it. It's like, it's like an
Anakin Skywalker is a grown-up voice, where it's like, hey, you're just gonna make this guy down
to earth. When we get sound like he's from the Northeast. But anyway, I like that you're making fun
of that voice, and not the fact that the main woman character is clearly foreign
but doing like an inexplicable accent to the entire thing.
Yeah, she is right.
Yeah, she definitely, I had to look up her country of origin because I was like, I swear
I was hearing some boots.
Yeah, no, I thought it was Canadian, but it's...
She's Italian, it turns out.
Yeah, like, she hides it pretty well, but she'll be like...
She hides it in that you don't know she's Italian, but you know, she's not American.
Yeah.
It's like, we've got to get out of here.
Mama Mia.
Yeah.
And I'm like, oh, it's Italian.
A few Mama Mia's escape out.
Yeah, yeah.
And one point she's like, she's like, we've got to, we've got to set the spirit free,
man, Jamanja.
Yeah.
She's just walking around humming.
That's from our Italian American, Italian story type show, Three Slears and About. She's just walking around humming. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Oh, okay, all right. Hey guys, I, uh,
but I just have to be and I couldn't help but hear you would talk about my movie, The
Emolution Man.
You were going to hate my letters song.
Anyway, I should let you guys talk about rings.
Maybe later we can talk about co-plans.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was really supposed to be your serious acting debut.
What did it have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to It's about a guy who... He's a flying squirrel, yeah. Okay.
And he's living in Philadelphia and he's like,
why am I running up these stairs?
I could be flying up
because I'm a flying squirrel.
But here's what you don't know, Dan.
And it comes out in the movie.
Flying squirrels don't actually fly.
No.
They just glide on flaps of skin.
Yeah.
There's only one mammal that can actually fly.
I'm sure you know what it is.
Uh...
I don't actually. Is it hint?
There's a superhero based on one of them.
I'm just.
I'm just.
We're just gonna sit in silence and it's gonna be
great audio, great audio for a podcast.
Well, I was gonna say joke animal, but it's a bat, Dan.
I'm just disappointed you didn't know a bat fly.
Mammals, there's a Batman character.
Again, I was gonna say something silly, but I was so stupified by your inability
to remember that bat's exist.
So okay, moving back on to ring,
silly, take over, I'm gonna go now.
Jip hack, okay.
Maybe a more of a booster gold fan over here.
I guess you were too busy thinking about all,
yeah, I don't know, like dark hawk is somebody.
I'm thinking of a speed ball.
Not even an animal.
So okay.
Now this girl, Julia, her boyfriend,
who we learn later is named Holt.
Because I guess he's a cowboy or a gun, I don't know.
Right, it's like they were running through names, they're like, okay, we could call him chunk or punch or...
Let's call him a Holt.
Yeah, Holt.
Let's call something that could maybe pass us a last name.
Yeah.
But we've never heard of his first name.
He's going to college.
He says that it's good to you to stay behind,
take care of your mom.
We never find out what that means.
Oh, yeah.
Her mom never appears.
And when she thinks her boyfriend is in trouble,
she gets in a car, drive away.
Clearly.
Yeah, they have a pretty tearful goodbye.
But when shit hits the fan, she just drives up there.
It's not that far away.
And he gives her his shirt.
Oh, you know what?
I remember him buy from his smell?
You know what something spooky is.
He says, I'll see you on Columbus Day.
First of all, it's spooky that she doesn't call it
Indigenous People's Day.
LAUGHTER
Very good point.
Thank you, you're good point.
Thank you.
Lock her up.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
I got whiplash from there.
What is?
So I thought you were going one way, then. So you're like a social justice Bernie?
Oh, I'm just on drugs, Ellie.
Anyway, six weeks later, let's go get to,
let me go to the club.
What's the tomorrow on the eve of this podcast recording,
Columbus Day. Ooh.
Oh.
Tomorrow on the eve of this podcast.
Yeah.
Yeah, get him, Elliot.
Get him.
Eve.
Yeah, fuck me up.
Fuck me up.
Jordan, eve usually refers to the night before something happens.
The night after something happens is referred to as HBO's The Night After.
I don't know, it's called The Night Of. I don't know, whatever.
It's called Boxing Day.
Yeah. The Night After is when Chris Hardwick talks about The Night Of.
He does every show, every show.
Yeah, we got to get through this thing, man.
Sorry. Yeah, we're halfway through our allotted time for it.
We're in like a tenth of the way into the movie.
Six weeks later, video chat, we learn
he's taking experimental biology.
I do not believe it.
And their call is interrupted by his strangely multi-ethnic
bros, like a gang from an 80s movie.
They hustle him away to have some fun.
She's woken up that night by a dream
that he's returned to have sensual relations with her.
But suddenly, there's too many hands everywhere.
And one of them is a scary ghost hand, it's just a dream.
She gets a Skype call from a frantic girl named Sky,
who's saying, he's a dead man.
There's no stopping her.
Find him.
Julia is like what?
She drives off leaving voicemail after voicemail for Holt.
Holt, who at this point is established,
he's not a character who lives in real life.
His name is Holt.
He has that accent.
And his voicemail outgoing messages, this is Holt, he has that accent, and his voice from the mail-out going messages,
this is Holt, you know what to do,
which nobody does that, come on.
People go through the motions of saying,
leave a message, or I'm not here, or something like that.
Holt's dorm is unlocked,
and she finds phones with texts from Sky on it,
but then the battery dies.
She is, her interest is peaked by,
perhaps the least interesting looking bulletin board in the history of bulletin boards.
It does have an Afghan wig sposter on it. Maybe that's what throws her off. She's like,
he's not a fan of the Afghan wigs. But she does find a key on it. Enter returns to the
movie, Johnny Galecki, in the part of Gabriel. A super cool professor who's given a lecture
about how consciousness can affect the material world and the universe is affected by people watching
it, but he mentions sex and drinking, so you know, it's a cool pro.
This is one of these movie lectures where the professor just seemed to be talking like
vague, like wide-ranging terms and the class seems to have like last two minutes and is
like, okay, well next week I guess we'll talk about, I don't know, the world.
It's very hard to understand what the lesson is about
and what the class is.
And I have to assume that the final exam
is just like, the question is just like,
bullshit a little bit.
And then,
and then at the end, after he sends him out,
he's like, all right, go get drunk.
And like, I'm wondering like how often he can do that. I bet he just has to him out, he's like, all right, go get drunk. And they, yeah. Like, I'm wondering how often he can do that.
I bet he just has to, because if that's the first class,
I feel like he, in subsequent classes,
he'll have to say, all right, go shoot heroin.
He's got a heightened up.
All right, everybody, go overdose.
All right, guys, go throw kill a drifter.
Yeah.
And the students are like, there's one nerdy,
there's, I wish there was one nerdy student,
and he goes, okay, go off and get drunk.
The one nerdy student is like,
is that the assignment, sir?
Like, will we be great in on our intoxication?
Do I have to remain that drunk until we return to class?
But unfortunately, the movie leaves that money on the table.
Julie is there, and Glecki tells him,
he doesn't know Holt, she should just move on.
Seems suspicious. She follows him to a secret floor of a building that needs a special elevator key the key that she got from
The board to the key on it. This is the bow and arrow which like it really feels like you're playing a video game
It's like use key on elevator
Like it's very
Like picked up a key in the first place is like a
Any number of role-playing games
where you just come across the things like,
well, there's a thing on a desk, got to pick it up,
put it in my bag, it's gonna come and use full somehow.
There's another draft of the movie
where she's just trying to shove his Afghan wigs poster
into the keyhole.
It's not working.
I picked the unusual thing.
She should have put his sister's poster in here.
She finds on the seventh floor a video camera.
I don't know why that's there.
And an academic paper about Samara written by Galecki's character, Gabriel, which I guess
has just left out on a desk in the hallway for someone to read while they're waiting to
be let in.
I don't know.
She walks into their special lab where she sees a wall of photos of victims of Samara.
And you know, or people have watched the video and you know that their faces are
kind of distorted as if the camera doesn't quite work or there's water on the
lens or something. Where it's through a you know a keyhole or something like that.
And it's the style of the lab that she's in. It's kind of like a science lab
slash the place that they hang out in and hackers. Where there's like a lot of
like loud music and couches and everyone's like a little too cool for school.
It's like a really sexy AV club.
Yeah, it's kind of like the way that in flatliners
and the old one, I haven't seen the new one,
because not I have.
In the old one, the operating theater
that they're all learning in is dimly lit
and there's tapestries on the walls everywhere.
I'm sorry, George, when you say really sexy AV club,
I feel like you're being redundant.
I just you know, I didn't want that to pass.
Uh, one of the earlier, right. It's like when I said fuckable Renaissance fare. Exactly.
Uh, on the 20% of the audience just went, hey,
20% of the audience just went, hey! On the wall of photos, one of them is Holt, and she overhears Sky talking to Gabriel
about Holt.
It's like, this is wrong, we're doing, you promised me a tale, blah, blah, blah, and
there's countdown clocks for each of the characters.
What does that mean?
Then Julia runs into Sky in the parking garage and goes, hey, I'm looking for Holt, they
go to Sky's dorm, where Sky's painted a ring design on the ceiling.
It's artsy, you know?
And Julia manages to text Holt from Sky's phone.
And Holt says, don't watch, don't watch.
And Julia locks herself in the bedroom
as Sky's sets the ring video up, playing on her laptop.
Uh-oh, or does it play on its own?
I don't remember.
She smashes it, gets a nose bleed, and an alarm goes off.
That's the amount of time that was allotted to her by the phone call.
And she's not dead yet. And she's like, I want bitch! That's what she yells.
Chandling Freddy Krueger for a moment.
But even though she unplugged her TV, Samara shows up and scarifies her in such a way that she's
frozen into a horrifying rictus that also looks like a pretty funny Halloween
Set-Trust decoration like you'd find it like an abracadabra store
You say that as if that's something I know about
Dan if every if ever anyone I'm just the audience. I don't know abracadabra stores If ever anyone is gonna know it. It's you a guy who loves magic and Halloween decorations and corny stuff like that
Yeah, that's true and it doesn't maybe have, a guy who loves magic and Halloween decorations and corny stuff like that.
Yeah, that's true.
And it doesn't maybe have like a side show feel about it?
Be quite, yes.
And there's just a wall of costumes of sexy versions of things that are not very sexy.
Can we go there right now?
After the show, so Samara comes out and kills.
Dan just hoping they have a sexy meter reader.
Yeah, there's a song about it.
Rita.
Meter made.
He goes on a date with her.
I haven't heard this song.
But her sisters are there, so they don't really get that much going on.
But there's a lot of heavy breathing in the song at one point.
So you've got to assume that she has a dog that he pets.
And that's just a dog panting.
No, Elliot.
This better be about Rita Metermay the song.
No, no, no, far be it for me to critique your synopsizing
prowess.
But your synopsizing is if we are doing
our normal two hour long.
Oh, you're right.
OK.
So anyway, here's what you need to know.
Well, I do want to mention that Julia finds
Skysbody sitting in a chair, which
means that Samara killed her and then set her up in the chair,
which was very nice of her.
Holt is there, and it turns out, let me just, let me just break it down to you.
I'm going to need to go scene by scene on that.
Gabriel is studying the ring of phenomenon, and the way he does this is by having his students
watch the video, then find somebody that they can show the video to lift the curse off
of them, and that's called a tail.
But it's too late for Holt.
The tail is too late.
So while he's sleeping, Julia decides to sacrifice herself
and she watches the video, uh-oh, gets the death call
but she starts hallucinating, she's in a creepy dungeon.
She goes for a door handle.
It burns her hand.
It's actually a phone.
There's Braille burning to her hand, we'll find out later.
Yeah.
That'll be important later in the second movie
that's in this movie.
That's what I was about to say.
It's like, up until now, the movie
has had kind of an interesting idea, which is,
let's take the ring and let's see what would happen if some
scientists were trying to scienceify this and study the ring.
Because there should be a scientific explanation for how a ghost
girl can use a videotape to kill people in seven days.
And I think it's a critique on academia, like getting loose on this college campus.
Yeah, I like it.
Here's some college kids who really need a safe space.
What I wish is that I wish it was about...
What?
I wish it was about a technology company that was like Samarro's killing people in
seven days. We believe we can cut that in half. We want to make the ring more efficient
and we want to unlock those efficiencies. A ring subscription will cost $300.
But yeah, this is the part of the movie where it gets into the second movie, which is
basically just a rehash of the ring.
Because, oh, except in that, when Julia sees the video, there's stuff in it that's never
been in the video before.
It appears Samara is talking directly to her through the video with clues of some kind.
And are they going to try to solve those clues?
You better believe it, Buster.
Was that my line?
Yes, you better believe it, Buster. That's what I've written down right here.
So they go off. Johnny Galecki has to stay to talk to the police because I don't think
they hired him for enough days to have him go to the rest of the movie, really. And yeah,
it goes from the first movie, which is the idea of studying the ring and it's loose on a
college campus to the second movie, which is they're going to go to a small town and investigate the mystery of Samara, the girl from the ring.
Now, you may, if you've seen the first movie, the ring, you're like, they solved that mystery.
Yeah.
She's a dead girl who got thrown down a well and now her ghost comes out and kills people.
Hey, do you ever think about the story of Samara's mom?
And how has Vincent Dinoffrio involved in all this?
I hope he does a extravagant performance.
In some ways it's actually pretty dialed out.
It's a little restrained for Vincent Denofrio.
Considering I once saw him in a play, that's why it's time for Elliot Kaylin's.
All right.
Name his people.
His favorite podcast within a podcast.
Elliot Kaylin, theater name dropper. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Yeah, wait, I saw they were giving a very handy performance. I saw I saw Vincent D'Aufreau in a play
And I was in the front row and there were times when I thought he would jump off the stage and murder me
Because he was so intense. He was like stamping the ground and breathing really hard
And I was like this man was been possessed by a rhinoceros and this is the weirdest production of the music man. I have ever seen
I have ever seen. I don't like Prairie!
So they go to this town, Julius hallucinating things that are related to video.
She hallucinates a pregnant woman.
What do you want about that Samaritan's mom that she's seeing visions of?
They go to the church where...
Talk about a pregnancy from hell.
A pregnancy from hell. Huh?
A pregnancy from hell.
Please stop.
Please give me my personal space.
Okay.
Uh, this is where the movie...
A pregnancy from hell.
I'd rather fly on spirit airways.
Oh, the list of Trump's gets the toy face.
The traditional I'm a bad little boy face.
Damn, I also pooped in my pants.
You're very bad, very little boy.
You're very committed to this character.
A little stinker.
Oh, no.
Oh, is that a lot of problems?
Sorry.
Is miming something.
Anyway, they call me the anti-improve. I'm like, what is that a lollipop? What was that? Is miming something. Anyway.
They call me the anti-improve.
I'm like, what is that you're doing?
You're crazy.
Here's where we start to realize that maybe Julia
is not the best crime solver, because we
got to find her body so we can burn it, set her free.
It takes them a few steps to realize,
maybe start at the cemetery.
That's where the bodies go.
They do manage to find an unmarked crypt, or rather a demarced crypt.
The cross was removed.
She gets stuck in it.
She finds carved into the wall the words she will find you Julia.
And there's a lot of hallucinations where she's getting pulled into a well.
Luckily, they're saved by a man with a dog who takes them to Vincent Tenoffrio, the blind
caretaker who says, oh, so you're looking for the girl.
It turns out T'Nafria saw
some airs visions too and was blinded. That would be cool if he if he was like, I'm blind
now, but while I could see, I fought a blind guy and then it's fucking daredevil. Would
that be so fucking cool? It would be very interesting for the ring to suddenly become part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Yes, yes.
And then Stanley is like, I don't see
what's so bad about this video.
I don't know where, where along.
I don't know where they would do it
is he would crawl out of the well first.
Excellency R.
It's so dirty down there.
Enough said.
Anyway, I will move along faster.
Okay.
Gabriel comes to try to warn them about something, but in the most final destination, anything
of all.
There, the road has been blocked.
They can't leave town.
Nobody seems to notice his overturned car with him in it until Julia just stumbles on
it.
Yeah, they have roped off the whole crime scene before they discovered the other dead
guy.
Yeah. And I want to make clear, Gabriel is coming because he has discovered that the burn on Julia's
hand is Braille.
Is Braille?
Which you would think would come in to play with the Blind Man?
Like the Blind Man would like, let your hand at some point.
My guess was that Samara would have somehow written in Braille the video on there.
Yeah. And when the Blind Man was like have somehow written in Braille the video on there. And then when the blind man was like,
what's this Braille?
Ah!
It's a centipede girl in a well.
Static, static.
Woman, brushing hair, mirror, static.
Girl gets out of well.
Oh, no.
Which, what are the rules of the ring?
If you had a flip book version of the ring, would that work?
A flip book version?
Yeah, sure.
I think so.
Of the video, I mean, yeah.
None of the movie.
That would be a long flip book.
Or one of those things with little slits for you.
Is that a trope?
Yeah.
We're just a podcast of Ira Glass explaining all the images to you.
Tonight in four acts.
Weepy stuff. Act one.
Everyone knows that the ring is a video tape, but what if it wasn't?
Tonight in four acts.
So I'm a lost Tori Malatia who says, nail going into fingernail.
So this is where he gets final destination because he's like dying and he's like, I got
this thing to tell you, and then a telephone pole falls down and smashes into the car
on a live wire electrocute sim.
And it's like, did Samara do that or is the infrastructure bad in this town?
Seems awfully coincidental.
At this point, my notes say, movie really seems to be spinning its wheels.
As the characters hang around the bed and breakfast, they're staying out for a while.
They find themselves watching the video again,
just like, we're already dying.
Why not?
Bad Wi-Fi in the BNB, so you just gotta watch it.
Well, I finished all of Kimmy Schmidt,
so they're like, what do we got here?
We got the video.
I've heard good things about Bojack,
but I don't know if I'm really in the mood for it.
Yeah, it's like, it's an exploration of depression, so I don't know if I'm going to.
I'm already pretty sad because I'm going to die in a couple days.
It's also at this point that I had completely lost track of the timelines.
Like, do they have one day left or six days left?
But Julia breaks into the church at night to investigate.
Meanwhile, her boyfriend goes to the much less dangerous route of going to the local diner
and interviewing the proprietor of the bed and breakfast
to ask her, who's, there was that girl in the picture
that my girlfriend's been hallucinating.
Tell me what that is.
Julia finds a tractor in the bottom of the church,
finds a cell of some kind where someone was taken prisoner
and realizes this was where Samara's mom was being held
while she was pregnant.
Which is kind of like making this movie
a kind of a dark chemist.
Yeah.
I guess you're right.
Yeah.
Dark chemist is my favorite Marvel character
from the 80s, by the way.
Yeah.
They were on it to like Grimm and Gritty of chemist.
Right.
Just give her the Phoenix Force and then even
I'm a bearded guy down front who
who?
Honestly. I had to a little too hard what I said, Phoenix Force?
Honestly, the Phoenix Force joke was going to be gotten by a bearded guy.
Yeah.
Oh, I know.
They'll see after the show.
Anyway, Julia is one of those movie characters where she doesn't piece clues together so much
as hallucinations pop in when she needs to tell her what's going on.
It is a video game, like cut scenes show up.
Yeah.
When she finds certain clues, a cut scene will show up that just appears that it just tells her what's going on. It is a video game, like cut scenes show up. When she finds certain clues, a cut scene
will show up that just appears that it just tells her
what was going on.
She finds out there was this priest that did it
and that kept her hostage and the priest went blind.
Wait a minute, we know someone blind.
That's right, that's right we do.
We do know someone blind.
Stevie Wonder.
Stevie Wonder. Stevie Wonder.
Next stop.
Who it turns out has never been blind at all.
It was all a ruse.
All a ruse to get that sweet blind money.
That's like a real conspiracy theory.
Yeah, there's Stevie Wonder Truthers.
Yeah.
What about Ray Charles, though, are they Ray Charles Truthers?
Well, if I confused my blind guys. No, I'm just wondering. No, there's still like there's I've seen like a video that people post where it's like
Stevie Wonder catches something that's like falling over and
Isn't this radar sense and stick taught him how to do that? Yeah, yeah, dare devil dare devil dare devil on Netflix
Also in comic books, apparently.
Anyway, Julia goes to the priest and is like, hey, or this ex,
she doesn't know that Vincent de Nafrio was the priest who kidnapped this woman.
And she shows up and she's like, hey, that woman that meant missing,
that was Samaritan's mom.
And she kind of figures out what's going on when he starts attacking her.
Yeah.
And he gets out of bat and says, she didn't take my sight.
I did.
I had visions, too.
I had visions of giving life to a child who
would change the world.
And she did.
And she's running away from him.
And the movie turns into a really quick, like,
five-minute version of the movie Don't Breathe for a while.
He turns out the lights. And the house seems to be just as bright with the lights off,
which leads me either she drove up to the house and did not turn her headlights off.
Oh, that's not good.
The battery is going to be drained later on.
There is or like for a moment, they were like originally we wanted this town to be above
the Arctic Circle, so it stayed time all the time.
And then we changed that in the scripts.
It's fine that it's still light all the time everywhere, right?
She's running around.
He's running after her.
He starts yelling, you're the 12th person who tried to help Samara.
But I've stopped all of them.
No one got this far before, though.
And I should have just let Evelyn, that's the pregnant woman.
She wanted to kill Samara.
I should have just let her.
And Julia pushes him down a flight of stairs.
And he is knocked out at the bottom of the flight.
Dead maybe, we don't know.
She finds out she's...
If I know horror movies, he is.
There's no reason to check on him.
She gets to a room full of bird cages.
No, not the movie, the bird cage.
LAUGHTER
That would have been...
That would have been...
This would have worn my boyfriend's VHS tapes.
Yeah.
Sometimes you hurt me out there. LAUGHTER That would have been more my boyfriend's VHS tapes.
Sometimes you hurt me out there.
And she starts getting a nosebleed, which I guess
tells me that either the seven days are up
or that allergies in her nasal past is a pretty dry.
She finds there's a plastered over part of the wall
and she breaks it open and there's a skeleton inside,
some maris skeleton. Bump, bump, bump.
Now, was I remembering correctly,
I thought they found some air's body
at the end of the first ring movie.
Yeah, I, it's, I, it's, I haven't seen it since it was
in the, the theaters, but it certainly feels like
they found some air's body.
Like did I didn't see a ring too?
Did they put her body in like a local history museum
and then it got stolen in the middle of the night?
They put it in a FedEx box and mailed it off in the end of the movie and you're like,
where did that go?
There's actually in the original.
Wait, Tom Hanks and Castaway fixed it up.
That's the end of the movie when he delivers that one box.
It's Samaritan's body.
I don't know if you remember the advertising for this movie, but the tagline was, you
thought they found her body.
Don't worry about it.
I feel like the tagline of the movie is rings.
Do you remember the first movies that, well, we don't either.
Anyway, finds the body, but Holt walks into the house, but the priest isn't lying at
the bottom of the stairs.
Uh-oh, hits him with a bat, denofrio attacks her, he shouts a lot of random religious Marlarkey.
So Kate is asswarming all over the house.
Suddenly, Julius phone starts playing the ring video, and Julius starts flashing back
to the clues in the video, and it's like, yeah, I remember, I got it.
I've been watching the movie.
And Samara tells Julia, don't leave me in her head, I guess.
And Samara comes out of the phone, heals Denofrio's eyes and kills him.
And it's like, wait a minute, hold on.
This seems like a very new power for Samara to suddenly have.
Yeah, it's like the inner Superman too
when Superman takes the super S-off
and just throws that at the guy.
When he kisses Lois Lane, and she's like,
I don't remember anything anymore.
Samara just makes it, I mean, that's at least true.
The Superman comics, we're in the Oldsermay comics.
They'd be like, I can always do this.
And he does this, does the thing.
There's that one where, I guess it's called
Superman's new power, where he gains the power
to shoot a miniature Superman out of his hands.
And the miniature Superman has all of his powers
and gets really popular.
And Superman starts getting really sad
that he's not as popular anymore,
because the little miniature Superman,
and I don't remember that story, ends maybe he eats the little Superman.
I don't know.
I don't remember.
But anyway, it's kind of like that.
I got another that to that.
No, it's like what powers does Samara have?
Come on.
They burn Samara's body and they say you're free Samara.
And that's the end of the movie.
It's a horror movie so it's closures what you get, right? No, what you get is the same twist from the first movie where they're like, oh, you're free Samara. And that's the end of the movie. It's a horror movie, so it's closures what you get, right?
No, what you get is the same twist from the first movie,
where they're like, oh, you know, helping her out.
No, that was a bad thing to do.
Because Holt, he gets Gabriel's message
that it was Braille, finally.
He looks up the mark on Julia's hand.
He looks it up on a Braille translator
that takes him so long to type in.
Julia has enough time to take a shower,
peel some skin off of her hands,
and then hack up a bunch of Samara's hair,
which a bug crawls out of.
And then it turns out the braille means rebirth.
Uh-oh, suddenly, like some kind of Russian virus bot,
it takes over all the contacts, and Julia's email contacts,
and it's just emailing them all the ring video.
And as anyone would, when they get a suspicious video context and Julia's email context and it's just emailing them all the ring video and as
anyone would when they get a suspicious video from someone they know they watch it immediately.
They just tell it, they don't say like, what is this?
Did you send me this or is this someone trying to, in Nigeria trying to get money from me?
I don't understand.
Did you get hacked?
They all watch it and they all write back stuff like crazy video.
What's that mean?
Julia, what's this all about?
It'll gross.
Like everybody's at their computers, I guess maybe their phones.
They are not doing anything that they cannot stop and immediately watch a video that's
been emailed to them.
They're all so close to Julia that they're going to take the time to watch it.
I got to tell you, friends of mine, close friends, well email me things they've worked on,
and it will take me forever to watch it.
Or even if you start watching the video,
if I started watching the video, I would start it,
and I'd be like, oh, there's no cat in this.
And I would stop it.
Maybe Samara started throwing in cats.
Just taking a couple cute cats.
I would literally look at how long the video is going to be like,
hmm, 25 seconds, no thanks.
Drag, drag, drag.
And Samara calls and is like, uh, four days because you watched it so fast.
20 years.
Now, they freed Samara because I guess her bones were holding her back, even though she
seemed to have total control of time and space before this.
And she is free to attack the whole world.
And Julia wipes the mirror from of steam and Samara is there.
And it made me think like, so did she become Samara?
I believe that's the implication.
Like this is kind of an evil version of the Santa Claus.
We're like, she became Samara.
This movie connects so many fictional universes.
It's also in that, it's the same elsewhere universe.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
It's all happening in a kid's head.
I'm so scared of the ring knowing it's all
the side that kid's head.
And like, the ultimate evil in this is like a Rick Roll Yeah, yeah, I'll have it in the kids head. I'm so scared of the ring knowing it's all inside that kids head. Yeah.
And like, the ultimate evil in this is like a Rick Roll that killed you.
That would be what if it ended with never going to give you everything you had to do.
Never going to kill this guy.
Never going to say goodbye.
Anyway.
No, good, well done.
So it's almost like when going into this movie,
I was like, it's probably going to update it,
and it's going to be like the videos up on YouTube.
That's, it's like, that doesn't kind of happen
until the end of the movie.
Yeah.
The most obviously they could have done.
But I guess at that point, you could have dealt with,
actually, it would have been really great if you dealt with
the ring is released on the video, not the movie.
I'm sure the video's on YouTube.
The ring is released on DVD. The ring is released on the video, not the movie. I'm sure the video's on you, movies on YouTube. The ring is released on DVD.
The ring is released on DVD.
So the Samara video is on YouTube, and people start
making memes and gifts out of it.
And it's like, I mean, there's, they-
It just has fake and gay underneath it.
Yeah.
There's, there's, there's, there's,
when Samara's feelings are really hurt.
Yeah.
She's like, I can't kill anybody.
I'm a human being.
And I want to see a still, like a freeze frame of Samara
with her head cock to the side.
And in big block, Sansa of letters, it just says,
like, please tell me about your problems.
I'm very interested.
Win-base says you only have seven days to live.
This could have been us, but that would be a... This could have been us, but that would be it.
This could have been us, but you a ghost.
And then someone does the thing where it pauses and then sunglasses animate down onto the
space.
joint goes in her mouth.
Yeah, yeah.
Top corn, all that stuff.
Samara drinking tea, it's all great.
Yeah.
I think if that had been the movie, I would have been like, yes, rings.
Yeah.
We should do our final judgment
so we can actually get some time and talk to the audience.
So talk to the people.
So the Shocktober categories, this totally scarifying.
OK.
Totally scarily bad, good.
Totally snorifying.
Guys, there's a fan of the show, or frighteningly funny.
I think I speak for everyone when I say,
the shot tober shit's confusing.
It is to me too.
It is to me too.
I'm not always sure what the line is between
snorifying and frighteningly funny.
And what is it frightening about how funny it is?
It's just a literative, Elliot.
I mean, you're a guy who, in the beginning, your presentation
for you said that Clark Kent was an example of a
literation, and I don't know if that's technically true, Dan.
That's the same sound from two different letters.
It's a sound. It's not the letters.
Sound is what makes a little variation.
Dan's right in. Right into it's the letters not the letters. Sound is what makes a little range. Dan's right in. Yeah.
Right into it's the letters, not the sounds.
Care of the flop house.
One, two, three, Elliot's right street.
Dan's wrong USA, 2400,000.
Well, I understand the categories perfectly.
So why don't you go first?
So I'm going to say this was.
Because you invented them.
Totally snorifying.
OK, I'm going to go with you on snorifying.
Because it was, there were a lot of times
when it felt like we were watching just like the direct to video version of the ring.
Yeah.
And but that, but they kind of tease you in the beginning with like a crazy movie where
college professors are having like a symposium on the ring video.
Yeah.
Which would have been amazing.
But Jordan, I think you might have had a different feeling.
Yeah.
No, I, I think I will go think I will go slightly snorifying. I think there are worse movies to watch if a podcast hosts
hurts himself and you have to fill in for him.
Yeah.
There are worse movies.
They've all been there.
And that very specific set of circumstances.
Yeah, you guys can relate, huh?
Yeah, there are worse movies.
There are a couple of good scares,
a couple of kind of cool areas couple of cool, eerie scenes.
You're one of the good scares.
I like when she was, yeah.
And I say, and then I'll say my least favorite scare
in the whole movie.
I thought it was pretty creepy when she was locked in the tomb.
I think I, I, I, I, I'll give you that.
That's a scary situation to be in.
Yeah, much like I felt when I was a kid watching Nickelodeon's,
are you afraid of the dark?
Sure.
I said, this is not scary, but if it happened to me,
I'd be pretty scared.
Yeah. Uh, there's one thing, but if it happened to me, I'd be pretty scared. Yeah.
There's one thing that I think is supposed to be a jump scare. I'm not sure where it's very quiet for a while as they go to the church. They go, that church isn't a church anymore and they
walk in. I think there's an A meeting going on, which is still a thing they do in churches. Yeah,
yeah. Not very good evidence for not being church. Like I expected them to go, you know, it's not
a church anymore and they go in and it's an Arby's. I would.
It's clearly not a church, but the AA meeting, right?
It's still ambiguous.
I mean, Arby's is a kind of church.
Yeah, it's a church of Rosenby.
Yeah.
They go in, it's very quiet and then suddenly here, and it's the sound of an umbrella being
opened outside.
And I was like, was that supposed to annoy me? Like, that's the lamest jump scare. Like, no, it's an umbrella being opened outside. And I was like, was that supposed to a nerve me? Like, that's the lamest jump scare.
Like, no, it's an umbrella.
It's raining out.
Thank you, Alia.
Isn't that scary?
Ooh.
Your hair's going to get frizzy.
You didn't bring a raincoat.
Your shoes are swayed.
Bring a raincoat. Your shoes are swayed.
You put swayed protector on and but you properly sprayed it.
This is a very specific ghost.
Make sure to coat thoroughly next time.
Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor. Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor.
Judge John Hodgman ruled in my friends favor.
Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor.
I'm Judge John Hodgman.
You're hearing the voices of real litigants,
real people who have submitted disputes to my internet
court at the Judge John Hodgman podcast.
I hear their cases.
I ask them questions.
They're good ones.
And then I tell them who's right and who's wrong.
Thanks to Judge John Hodgman's ruling,
my dad has been forced to retire
one of the worst dad jokes of all time.
Instead of cutting his own hair with a flow bee,
my husband has his hair cut professionally.
I have to join a community theater group.
And my wife has stopped bringing home wild animals.
It's the Judge John Hodgman podcast.
Find it every Wednesday at MaximumFund.org or wherever you download podcasts.
Thanks Judge John Hodgman.
Hey you, with the headphones.
Just between you and me, the Max Fun Store just got some of that sweet, sweet new Merchant
stock. You know, that merchant from your favorite Max Fun
shows could be posters, tote bag shirts, stickers, patches, aprons. We got it all.
Well, we got a lot. Point is, there's some new stuff. Go to MaxFunStore.com.
Hey, it's Dan here, flying solo again. Thanks for listening to our live
episode.
We had a lot of fun in LA.
We had a lot of fun with Jordan Morris.
We were sad that of course Stuart couldn't make it there.
But we're hoping to have a lot of fun with him at Toronto.
We've got a few ads for you.
The first is for Zippercruder.
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on Zippercouter for free.
Just go to zippercouter.com slash flop house.
That's zippercouter.com slash flop house.
So that's a great message for all the business owners out there.
People who are not me because I could never understand
anything about business if you explain it to me
like a child for three days running.
But I hope that it's useful to you.
We're also sponsored by Blue Apron.
They're for less than $10 per person,
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along with pre-portion ingredients
to make delicious home-cooked meals.
This week, or not this week, but upcoming, what we got now listen to this. We got cheesy chicken and black bean enchiladas with salsa verde.
That's green salsa for those of you who don't understand Spanish.
We got shrimp marinara with spaghetti, spinach and parsley, maple gravy,
smothered pork chops with stewed color greens and sweet potatoes. I like anything
that's got smothered in it. Yeah, a spice cauliflower and pepper with jasmine
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menu and get $30 off your first meal with free shipping by going to blueaprin.com slash
Flop house. That's blueaprin.com slash Flop house. It's sound and so delicious
That Archie jumped up on the table as if to say mmm-mmm. Give me some of that sweet blue apron treat
I don't I don't know if that's a good slogan sweet blue apron treat. I just
felt right in the moment because it rhymed, but it doesn't actually I don't know if that's a good slogan, sweet blue apron treat. I just felt right in the moment because it rhymed,
but it doesn't actually, I don't know, anyway.
Moving on, we got a couple of jumbo tronds out this week,
and I dearly hope that the people who bought these jumbo tronds
are still getting their money's worth,
and people didn't turn off the radio machine.
Let's call it, let's call your phone a the radio radio machine. Let's call your phone
a radio machine guys. Let's get that started. Didn't turn off the podcast as soon as they
heard my voice alone doing ads. But we can only hope. And the first jumbo tron is for
the smash fiction podcast. The smash fiction podcast settlesles the unsettled level when beloved fictional characters clash, which one will win.
Smash Fiction is a comedy podcast where a rotating cast of geeks debate on behalf of their chosen characters and an impartial judge decides the winner.
Dr. Strange versus Voldemort, Mal Reynolds versus Hian Solo, a yearly Nick Cage for-way cage mash inspired by our favorite
movie podcast. Plus every month we do an ongoing RPG where we play fictional characters and
an epic crossover adventure. So that's smash fiction. And it's apparently run by rotating
cast of geeks. I don't they don't specify whether this is a film geek or whether they
are biting the heads off chickens in the middle
of their podcast. The only way you can figure that out is by listening. And the second message is
for Charlene, the blade of honor, and it's from a Rosy and Chris soon to be same last name with
Held. Dear Charlene, thank you for being our unicorn, but not the way kids these days mean it.
I really was wondering, so thanks for the clarification.
You made Rosie's hidden party frightfully fun, and we'll keep the wedding from becoming
totally terrifying or totally snorrifying.
Hopefully soon we can all live on a corgi ranch together.
Well, I mean, if you're the unicorn, I mean, you're confusing what kind of unicorn it is,
because now you want to live on a corgi ranch together.
Anyway, going on, we promised not to get divorced, as that would be for the drops.
Love you.
I don't know the word, drops.
I've been taught a new term today.
I'll look that up.
But while I look that up, you go back to listening to
the flat-house live in Los Angeles.
So now's when we should move on to talk to the audience. There's two microphones, I think
set up. There's two, yeah, there's, yeah.
I want to each side of the theater.
On our theater. Thank you for helping me. You seem so unsure of the words. So if people have questions
they can come up to the microphones. We'll try and get as many as we can. We're going to try to
get some in. You will have to cut it off at some point because unfortunately, you ran long,
we just don't have a lot of time for things that'll take time up. We don't have time for filler.
Let's get straight to the questions. We just don't have time for anything other than
questions. Let's take a question, perhaps a suggestion, an interjection. Maybe a question. That's
right. I said questions twice. Because your questions are awfully nice and I appreciate your being
here in Los Angeles. Nothing I can think of rhymes with Los Angeles,
except perhaps the composer of Angeles.
That rhymes with Los Angeles.
Blade Runner 20, 49 in theaters now.
A sequel to Blade Runner, which Van Gell
has did the music for.
That's the way that I explain that reach.
All right.
Woo! Woo!
Thanks guys.
Thank you.
But really, really, we should move on to the second part of the song.
Oh, no.
That's right.
It's a cycle.
It goes on too long.
Hey, everybody.
Remember when I said that we didn't have time for a lot of stuff?
Well, I was right.
Tonight, don't fight.
Turn on the lights, or spider-man, turn off the dark.
Some kind of alarm went off.
All right, I'm saying are you okay?
You're a little bit nervous? You're doing this now?
Okay, we're gonna do questions now. It's question time for the clubhouse tonight.
When Alia would normally say at this point is just think about your question before
you ask it. Think, would I care about this if it was thought me asking it? And
then if the answer is no, then don't ask that question. That's my abbreviated version of this piece.
Thank you for being the bad cop tonight.
Yeah.
Let's give Dan a hand.
So, sir, you can go.
You better go before I start singing again.
Hi, I'm Scott, I just have a question.
Guys, have I told you about Baby Seer Lost Legend?
Have you told us what? Have you told you about Baby Seeker the Lost Legend?
Babies of Secret of Lost Legend? The dinosaur movie? Baby Seeker the Lost Legend?
This is curious. Did you hear what Dan said earlier?
Hey, Jordan, don't question Shane Brevel. But no, thank you. I'm very familiar with that movie.
I saw it as a kid and I do not remember much of what happens in it.
I feel like we should go back and forth because there's a mic over here too.
So, yeah, let's go to the other side.
Hi, this is Daniel, last name withheld.
So, Jordan was a great co-host, Phil and co-host tonight.
I was wondering what?
I hear a butt coming.
I was wondering if you could pick any person to be your guest co-host for the flop house.
Who would you pick?
Oh boy.
Well, you everyone knows I'm mad about Mads.
Mads Michelson, that is.
And I feel like he'd have a lot of great stories about his hate car of the horrible movie about
hallorizing.
I would think I would pick someone that Elliott knows personally and I was work with
Joel Hodgson. Oh, yeah, he got a father of bad movie. We owe him a huge debt
Yeah, which we will never be able to repay or we'll try to
Maybe I'll ask him sometime. Yeah, why not promising nothing
Let's move on. Hi, my name is ad Lasting with Held. Hi, thanks for coming.
If the three of you were on a tour of Willy Wonka's Chalk
Effectory, is that horrible yet ironic way, would you be killed?
That's a good question.
That's a good question.
That question was actually from my daughter, Charlotte,
who is not able to come tonight, so she asked me to ask.
So OK. to come tonight so she asked me to ask. So, okay. Does there some sort of sadness candy that exists?
It's like a saltwater tear taffy, maybe.
Yeah.
That's...
You fall in a big vat of it and you're like,
I'm drowning in my own tears and these.
Yeah.
That seems appropriate.
I think... I don't know.
Do they make fried chicken?
I really want this.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Like a Cadbury egg.
I mean, that's not the same thing at all.
Here, I'm here to buy a car.
Here's a shoe.
And they're both modes of transportation.
I think probably there'd be something involving talking a lot.
Yeah, Jawbreaker, nice.
Yeah, I'd be watching the movie Jawbreaker, listening to the Judas Presong Jawbreaker,
and my drug get broken.
Jordan, what about you?
I would get killed by a bullet meant for Stewart.
Thank you.
So heroic.
Yeah, one of those Willie Walker snipers is a aiming for Stewart and then I walk in front.
No, I just imagine Oopalumpas with sniper rifles strapped to their back.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on.
I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea what's going on. human centipede. Oh, good question. How would that change the flat pile of human centipede?
Because usually the order is you in the middle.
Yeah.
I think Stuart's in the back, and I'm in the front.
Uh, I think that you, yeah, I think you called front.
You better believe I called front.
You better believe.
We'll talk about that.
Um.
Well, we just, you snossed and you lost, Dan.
Wept in.
Uh, I think, don't think, Jordan, do you think,
would Dan, would you get bumped up to middle then?
No, you're still in the middle.
Would you get bumped back to back?
I don't know that it would change it too much.
No, I think, yeah, I'm sorry, Jordan.
I'm afraid that you're first.
It's gonna be, I'm just gonna try and make
the best of these seven days.
I'm gonna try and finish make the best of these seven days
Gonna try and finish bow jack of course Yeah, I feel like there's no winner in a human centipede. No, yeah, it's just like someone who loses a little less and that's the front
Yes, sir, hi there. Hey castle to shirt cool nice. Yeah
You're castled in snob you are you were the third and fourth people ever
and me wearing the shirt we've gotten that.
So thank you.
You're talking to somebody who never pulled the trigger
on buying a castle in shirt.
But certainly thought about it a lot.
If I am drunkenly Googled, Castle's in shirt as well.
But then I'm like, can a man have too much pussy?
This is for anyone not familiar with it.
It's a shirt that was in the Time Chasers episode of Mr. Science Theatre 1000.
Great episode, solid, wonderful episode.
Yes.
My question's not about that.
In the last New York live show, Elliott, you were asked what New York movie was most
representative of your time in New York, and now that you live in LA, I was wondering
so far what LA movie is best representative of your time in New York, and now that you live in LA, I was wondering so far what LA movie is best representative of your time in LA.
Interesting.
It's hard to pick a representative movie because I've only been here a couple months, so I
guess...
Cobra.
Yeah.
Look, the way I work is dirty, but I get results.
And I recently took down an axe murder cult
that was trying to kill Brigitte Nielsen. So yeah, I think to be honest, probably...
I only can think about as Cobra to be honest. This is why I shouldn't imagine it. I mean that's just your way you live is all you can think about as Cobra.
Because I like to eat cold pizza by cutting it up with a pair of scissors, which he does in Cobra.
Yeah, that's a good answer.
Yeah, okay, sure, yeah, thanks. I'll think about a better one.
Next time we do an LA show, ask me again.
Sir, over here.
Hey, my name is Nico Last Name With Hell.
So there's these.
Sorry.
What?
I was playing LA its role of making up last names for the game.
He had already started talking.
Yeah, so.
And you were being very rude.
I am so.
And I want you to apologize to our guest.
No, go on, I'm sorry.
That's okay, a case is a better last name in my real last name.
So they're making these, I guess, dark universe reboots of the classic universe of all of
them.
They're sure trying to.
And the god is doing his best to stop them.
That's awesome. sure trying to. They're paying the God's best to stop them. Well, so I was just curious, what is a sort of like classic monster that you think either
hasn't gotten its due or hasn't had a movie at all made about it that you think there
should be the young of monster?
Hmm. Of the Universal's particularly? I guess I would say like more broadly. I mean,
like, yeah, I mean, a reboot of the Universal movies,
or it's any month, like a Wendigo or a Golem.
I mean, Wendigo is never real,
I mean, go and it's due.
It went to go, there was that movie with a kid
from Malcolm in the middle in it, years ago,
and Golem, there haven't been a good Golem movie
since the 1920s.
So pretty good, but I think I'm probably gonna say,
and this will be controversial,
Gill Man, from the creature from the Black Lagoon movies,
because even the original movies are not very good,
and that creature design is so sharp.
I guess.
What?
I haven't seen it yet, thanks for ruining it for me, okay?
I didn't know it was a soft reboot of the Gillman series.
I do wanna see Shaperwater,
but okay, then maybe that's it.
I'll come up with a different one.
Dan, you answer.
I mean, I already, I mean, he said when to go
and that's what I was going to say anyway.
But really?
Yeah.
All right.
Well, just because it's not the thing
that there's been like a good movie about.
There was that Larry Fesson in movie, I think it was.
I would say Windigo.
Yeah, let's call it Windigo.
Let's call it Windigo.
But I-
That movie Windigo Man, but the guy who's swearing in the Wendigo video.
I would like to see another Gilman movie too, because I was thinking that the funny thing to me about watching Monster Squad
is at the end how every other monster has a particular way that you have to kill them.
And then the Gilman, they like blast him with a shotgun.
I'm gonna shoot him.
Cause he's the every man.
Yeah.
You can kill him in normal way.
Yeah, exactly.
And then the back kid gets to say my name is Horace.
That's true.
I'm just remembering.
No, tell us more about monster squad.
Yeah, well, man has nards.
We don't remember.
Yeah.
Like I'm beginning by saying that
Wolfman has something that you might not expect him to have
despite having the word man and his name.
Over here again.
Hi.
Oh, that's a lot.
I'm so sorry.
My name is Brennan, last name withheld.
And since it's October, I thought I would ask.
What?
Yes.
What is the dumbest horror movie that actually scared you at any point during the movie?
Oh, Troll 2. Oh, troll two. Oh yeah.
When I was a kid, troll two was genuinely scary.
I mean, stick fingers.
Yeah.
Well, it's the part where he's talking to his grandfather
and he goes, I was trying to grandpa
and they go, grandpa's not there
and he looks in the chair's empty.
When I was a kid that scared the shit out of me.
I couldn't watch the rest of the movie for a long time.
Well, it also has like the bleakest ending.
Like they go home and like you think everything is all right
and the kid goes upstairs or whatever
and the shower is going and the parents have turned
into green.
And it's Patrick Duffy.
Green goo.
Yeah, it's green goo.
But also the idea that that kid,
I feel so bad for the kid in the movie
because the grandpa is just yelling at him
to take care of things.
And he's a kid and grandpa is a ghost with magic powers.
And he's like, go blow up all those trolls.
I'm disappointed in you, grandson.
It's like, oh, so much going on in that move.
And I had to have my mom take me out of tremors.
I really admire that your mom took you to tremors.
Yeah.
I think I was just afraid of the vaginal imagery. Yeah.
I just, considering that when I wanted to see Fern Dully,
my mom said, we are not going to see that.
And I said, why not, mom?
And she goes, I don't want to see that.
And it was the first.
I don't approve of wrapping big things.
It was the first time that I was like, wait, parents can do that?
They can just say no to movies.
You're looking to me for something?
I appreciate it.
In this time of crisis.
When I saw even watching the Mystery Science Theatre version of this, Man was the hands of fate
disturbed me.
It feels like a snuff film.
Yeah, because as Joel says in it or a croce says in it, I think every frame looks like someone's last known photograph. Yeah.
And there's something about, there's something about really badly made movies that can capture
this weirdness and sense of something wrong with the world that good movies can't.
Yeah.
But that would, yeah, that would be my answer.
Okay, that's a good answer.
Yeah.
What's that?
Oh, thank you. What's that? That's that.
Yes, sir.
Hey, there.
I'm Tom Lassling with Health.
Hello.
So another short, overquestion.
So I was thinking about Pat's cemetery
and how the bit where Mrs. Star Trek is remembering her sister
and that is by far the most terrifying part
of that movie for me.
What other movies are there where the most memorable
or the most terrifying moment is not
the main conceit of the movie?
Because I don't remember much else about that movie.
I know there's something better dead, baby, but God, the neck
is so scary.
The back, something, I don't know, terrifying moment,
not main conceit.
That's it.
I mean, I kind of feel like my answer to the last question
works.
They're like, troll, too.
The trolls were not scary.
It was this guy's relationship with his grandfather.
But most of that was the most memorable thing.
There's a scene in, is it?
What movie is it?
It's not the Crazies.
There's some horror movie where someone needs to use a phone.
And the person who's, it's so crazy
that they have to borrow a phone from.
And it's like, this is, get out of this scene.
This is really probably, might have been sisters.
There's the, I don't remember.
There's a scene in the exorcist,
where the devil stuff fine, it's scary enough.
But I get it, he's wearing broad.
The part that really scared me is there's a part
where they take Reagan to get tests,
and there's a machine that makes like a,
a, a, a, a, a, and I'm like not sure what it does,
but she's like getting like a spinal tap or something.
And that was the thing that made me like,
I can't watch this.
So that would be my answer.
I don't like any movie where people
buy plane tickets last minute.
Because like, how expensive must that be
to just walk up to the counter?
And you're gambling that they even have seats available. Because like, how expensive must that be to just walk up to the counter?
And you're gambling that they even have seats available.
So like all home alone movies.
Like being left at home, because I figure I can like rig up some traps, okay.
But the thought of like having to buy a plane ticket last minute.
Yeah, now I'm stressed out just thinking about it.
On this side.
So I'm Mandy, last name withheld.
And my friend throughout most of today has been making fun of me
saying that I look like the best friend of an 80s movie.
Yeah, I'll buy that, yeah, strong head.
Yeah, like kind of a whiny type shirt,
knotted at the midsection, yeah, okay.
And some sort of 1940s carnival barker hat?
There's a lot of overlap, yeah.
Can I get a ride back to Silver Lake by the way?
I think I'm so local humor.
Over effort, yeah.
So I wanted to ask what?
Or Portland, sorry.
What makes a good best friend in a movie? And what would you want out of your in your movie?
What would your 80s best friend be?
What makes the best friend good best friend in movie well that you eventually end up with them. Yeah, or
If they're played by Judy Greer. That's a good. Yeah, she does. She does a very good best friend in movies
Yeah, it's good to have a best friend who you wish had a little more to do.
That's why.
Yeah, a best friend who doesn't really have much of a job and is available at all hours of the night
to help you out with stuff.
And my best friend in an 80s movie, if I wasn't the best friend, which I probably would be.
But my best friend would probably be like, I don't know, like a talking robot dog with magic flowers.
And we'd end up together at the end.
I feel like I have fantasy best friends and through circumstances, I got to be on stage
with two of them.
Oh.
That's right.
Stuff you should know.
You bastard. Smoke. Oh, that's right stuff you should know
You bastard
Smoke yeah, that's a fine podcast though. It is a good. They do a job
This is the name of this podcast should be like stuff you is not real
Are you looking to me for what was the last part of the question who you would want? What's your what's your 80 what's your best friend in your 80s movie gonna be like?
I would just want boof from teen wolf basically. Yeah, this boof's the best 80 your best friend in your 80s movie? Gonna be like, are you? I would just want Booth from Teen Wolf, basically.
Yeah, because Booth's the best 80s best friend.
Yeah, I mean, could someone be Booth from Teen Wolf?
And like, is Booth from Teen Wolf in the audience?
What are characteristics?
She puts up for the best friend,
even though he's a jerk to her.
She doesn't like him because he's a wearable.
She likes him for who he is, even though he's a jerk to her.
She's more attractive than the big romantically.
Yeah.
She wears a lot of cute sweaters.
Just every day sense of style on a budget.
That's what I'm looking for.
I should just put that in an ad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
M4B, man-for-boof.
Seeking a no-drama for boof. Seeking no drama boof.
Me, Emmy winning comedy writer, you boof.
And people across America being like, what is this mean?
Like, honey, can you come here and look at this ad?
In the game of culture, what is a boof?
Is I don't know if I'm it or not?
It does, that does sound like a subcategory on Grindr. What is a boof? Is I don't know if I'm it or not? Yeah.
That does sound like a subcategory on Grindr.
Yeah.
Hot local boof.
All right, we should keep it moving because we, I think we might actually get through everyone.
Yeah, let's get three people.
So.
If you've got another question, write it into us and say, I was like, you're showing it and you get a question.
And maybe I answered, I don't know how it works.
Sir, you've got a question?
Hi, Derek, last name are held.
Hello.
I think I saw it night and night, right now.
I'm just treating it as about seven, just because my aunt
let us.
But my question was, what movie did you see that you probably
shouldn't have seen at a young age, either due to your own
sneakiness or just complete parental neglect?
I think I believe I've told this story before on the podcast.
And when I was, I think eight years old my dad said hey
My friend let me Robocop he says it's really cool
Let's watch it and when ED 209 shot that guy and his chest exploded
I put my hands in front of my eyes and then I slowly pulled my hands out
It's movies that we shouldn't have seen any young age
Well, I think I told it actually on the podcast before that my brothers like I have two older brothers It's movies that we shouldn't have seen any young age.
Well I think I told it actually on the podcast before that my brothers, like I have two older
brothers, one's 10 years older than me, one's 13 years older than me.
So they like to torture me and they like, they pulled all the curtains close in the living room,
made it as dark as possible and forced me to watch Poltergeist and aliens.
So I mean this is a lot better than the other thing
that they would do, which is put a pillow over my head
and tell him it was very bad.
And try to kill you.
And tell him it was very close to me being dead.
All right, Dan, we're Toby Hooper completists.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My parents are big colligial heads.
Next question?
Yeah, okay.
Wow.
They were like, look at this amazing cast.
Yeah. You don't think they'll fuck, but did they do?
It was a different time.
It was the 70s.
They were all on blow.
Yeah.
Oh my, guys, I'm Mary Kate.
There's something with the flop.
House has taught me, actually, I've probably always known this, but when a movie starts with,
you know, my mother always told me this story or prophecy for a tells of, so like, what are your other,
like, rules for, like, bad movie?
When something happens in a movie,
and you're like, oh, no, it's gonna be like this.
Like, what is your bad movie signifiers like that?
I always wanted to say, Tobey Hooper wrote Alien.
That was why I made that Tobey Hooper.
He did not write Alien.
Did he not?
Dana Van. Dana Van. Huh. Anyway. I wrote Alien. That was why I made that Toby Cooper. He did not write Alien. Did he not think of Daniel Bannon?
Daniel Bannon.
Huh.
Anyway.
And I also think you said Aliens.
I said, really?
No, I'm sorry.
You're all over the map.
Let's answer this question.
I mean, it's hard to talk when there's
like a prophecy of some kind in a movie.
Anytime a movie has a prophecy in it,
I'm like, well, you just removed the agency
of all the characters in the movie.
And I kind of don't care anymore. So anytime there's like, there's a legend,
dead, dead, dead, or a prophecy for tells, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, like, it turns out you're not a,
you're not a person who threw hard work in circumstance, became a hero. Your mom is a alien. And that's why,
and you, and you were destined to do this. I don't like it. This is not exactly the answer to this
question, but it's more like just is not exactly the answer to this question,
but it's more like just something
that I don't like in movies, but any comedy
that seems built around the idea of some misunderstanding
ruining someone's life slowly.
Like, any movie, that's not funny to me.
It's just like, they're just really unhappy,
and everything's going wrong.
I just can't take it.
I can't take that in a movie.
I would have trouble with that in sitcoms.
Like, have you watched the moment where
like somebody walks in on somebody
and it looks like they're cheating on them
or something like they're making out with another girl.
I'd be like, I know this is going
to be explained away in 10 minutes, but I don't like it.
Like, I don't like this feeling of tension and embarrassment.
And yeah. Yeah. I'm an anxious person, basically I don't like it. I don't like this feeling of my intention and embarrassment.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm an anxious person, basically, with that comes after.
Yeah.
The airline ticket thing.
Again, can't handle it.
Don't want to see it.
Don't want to see it.
Thank you.
All right.
And I'll go to that to end it.
There's nobody there.
There's nobody like this.
Hello.
Hello.
My name's Johan.
When I was six or seven, and when I used to live here in LA,
my mom took me to watch Terminator 3 in the theater.
Wait, how old were you when Terminator 3 came out?
I was young, and I still lived in LA,
which means that I was at least at most eight.
Well, you made me feel like an old man so that's nice.
And I know it was T3, because I thought I was a lady.
I believe I was in college when that movie came out.
I'm in college now.
Should I drop out of college?
I'm just kidding. Did you came out. Oh, I'm in college now. Should I drop out of college? I'm just kidding.
It is.
So did you ever watch a movie young?
I think someone I'll lose to this.
I was traumatized by that movie.
Like I would open the curtain to make sure there was an
determiner.
I would walk away from cars that were parked.
Because she makes one come alive.
There's a scene, right?
Has there ever been a movie that you watch maybe too young
that traumatized you for like months?
Maybe, yeah, traumatized?
That still happens to me.
Like there's nothing scarier to me than the idea that I'm going to suddenly turn and
there's someone standing there looking in a window at me or like, if I'm lying in bed,
this especially happens if my family for whatever reason is out of town or I'm out of town.
I'm lying in bed, the scariest thing I can think of is that someone's just going to walk
through a doorway
and that I don't expect to be there.
It frightens me so much and I lie there thinking
about just that.
So like, any moot, so I went to see,
so some mother recently and there's so many scenes
in that where she'll like turn on the light
and there's somebody outside looking at her
through a window and I'm like, oh God, oh, that's,
and so that's been having me a lot lately
where I go around my house at night
just making sure the doors are locked and I look away from the windows because there's a creepy guy looking at me through the window
I don't want to know about it
Don't want to see it. Don't want to know about it
Yeah, this isn't a this isn't a childhood thing either, but like I watched
Lights out the short that the movie lights out was based on okay, Bragg. I did not
I saw the full length movie lights out and I was like OK, bragging. I did not.
I saw the full length movie lights out,
and I was like, oh, this is kind of boring.
But the short is such a simple premise,
a monster that just comes when the lights are out.
And after that evening, I was scared of the dark again.
I was walking around just like, all right, I'm in this room.
I got to turn the light on.
OK, right, now before I get in with this other, I I got a trim the line over here before I turn the other one
line.
I'm staggering my lights across the way going to bed and kind of thinking about sleeping
with the lights on a little bit.
So that one got me.
Gordon?
I just fear a future where all restaurants are Taco Bell.
That would be sad, demolition man.
Yeah, it would be tough.
Thank you.
Would solve our nation's dangerous Gordita shortage.
All right, last question of the year.
This is the last question.
Lot of pressure, lot of pressure.
I know.
Big pressure.
My name is Cruz Flores, middle name with Held.
Oh, Cruz.
Yes, hi, I know your brother too.
You've done a lot of, You've done a lot of movies, and most of them have been either terrible or forgettable. But have you ever either watched a FWOP house movie again a second time, or even just thought
about it and had good feelings about it, that more than you thought you would?
I'll tell you this, the sad thing is, every time I think about these movies,
I have good feelings,
because it reminds me of hanging out with my friends.
Talking to the movies, talking to two movies,
talking about movies, but otherwise, no.
Dan.
What did you say?
I said otherwise, no.
I think about like, oh, it's fun when I say
that I have a Dan Stewart, but I don't know
that there's any of the movies,
where I'm like, you know what? On second thought, 10,000's fun when I still have a damn suit. But I don't know that there's any of the movies or efforts. I'm like, you know what?
On second thought?
10,000 BC had some good stuff going on in it.
I know who killed me.
I know a good movie.
Yeah, I think that maybe we should just end
on that heartwarming note that you just gave about friendship,
because I can't think of one either.
Because to me, the file file system just about movies, it's about three best buds hanging out.
It's inseparable together forever where one goes all three go.
Yeah.
Always together.
Never ever apart.
Just you and me and.
No, but that's yeah, it's all yeah
Good bit. Good bit yeah, thanks
Very good bit kind of kind of petered out at the end, you know, no, I thought it was great. That was great. You did great. Oh, thanks, buddy
So
That's it. I mean, that's what we do. Let's let's have kind of a bigger ending. That's what we do
That's what we do. Well, let's have kind of a bigger ending. That's what we do. Yeah, that's what we do.
That's the way it works, folks.
And so, Dan.
Yeah.
For the flop house, who have we been?
All right.
Well, I was going to thank everyone for coming out, because it's very special to be here
on the West Coast for the first time.
Someone say the best coast Panda panda panda panda panda
More than Flophouse I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Elliott Kalen. I'm Jordan Morris filling in for Stuart Wellington
Thank you so much for being here buddy. You're really patient. Yeah So, Dan, usually, we start off by doing our little intro,
really, we announce what the movie is, and then I say something or Stuart says something,
or in this case, George.
Yeah, thanks for explaining.
Thanks for mansplaining my podcast, I mean, Elliot.
I just want to make sure you understand these things.
Hey, you seem tense.
This whole night is taking a turn.
I don't care for.
Also, I don't like the implication
that I'll have to say something.
Very fair.
All right.
But wait, we got a delay again, because Dan
has to open a thing.
Once it was a phone, now it's a bottle.
What's that gonna be next time?
A chrysalis that is formed around him?
Delicious.
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