The Flop House - Ep. #255 - The Layover

Episode Date: April 14, 2018

The Max Fun Drive is technically over, but if you go to maximumfun.org/donate, this weekend, it'll still count! As for us, we watched "William H. Macy Surrounds Himself With Beautiful Women: The Movie" AKA "The Layover." Meanwhile, Dan insults the noble profession of teaching, Elliott reminds us of that time Bill Clinton awarded a medal to a character from Con Air, and Stuart is a Layover detective, picking up all the clues. Wikipedia synopsis for The Layover Movies recommended in this episode The Blood of Heroes The Death of Stalin It's Always Fair Weather

On this episode we discuss the layover. I have no jokes about the layover. Hey everyone, welcome to the podcast. I'm Stuart Wellington. Hey everybody, welcome to the podcast. I'm Elliott Kaelin and I just want to say real quick if we're not at our tippy top top energy today. Okay, because Stewart Stewart just flew back from a red eye from the grand canyon, doing a show for for for Max Fun. Yesterday I was out marching for our children's lives and Dan, I'm sure you were doing something also as important. Yes. I went to Matt coughs birthday party at a bowling alley. That count for anything?

Is it? Nope. Okay. Let's just moving on. Sorry. My one arm is kind of tired. I thought we'd hit our listeners with like a trifecta of stories of exciting, like activism or creative risk like Stewart took. And guys out of, you know, and guys out of, uh, out of respect for everybody marching yesterday, I'm going to not say the joke about Dan's arm being tired, not from bowling, but from jacking off.

Thank you for the respect that you've shown on. Very respectful. Hey, guys, before we get started, uh, just want to say, this is our second Max Fund Drive episode. What's the Max Fund Drive, Dan? Max Fund Drive is the time once a year when we come to Hattenhand to ask for a little cash to help keep our shows running. A lot of cash. It's a big hat.

It's a big hat and it takes a lot of cash to fill it. Yeah. Max Fund has listeners supported in the same way that say, you know, a national public radio or PBS is largely listener supported. And it's your gifts of money that help us give you the, I don't know, the entertainment you crave, I guess. I mean, don't over sell it. Because it's a podcast like, I think of this podcast like a living organism, and the money they give us is the food that keeps it alive. Yeah.

Now, Ellie, Ellie, it was clearly just recently watched a annihilation. I did see it yesterday. This guy was, I had a packed day yesterday. I drove some people to the airport, my family, they're out of town for a couple of days. Then I went and marched in an anti-gun march, then I went to see a annihilation, then I visited

a friend of mine. I had like a weekend's worth of activities in one day. You know, I tired? You bet. But I'm still here to tell you about Max Fund Drive and how important it is and how necessary it is, which leads me to say, Dan, you tell them. I think I already have. I will make it the Max Fund Drive technically ended yesterday, but I have it assured from the Max

Fund headquarters that if you donate this weekend, it still accounts to the drive. Oh cool. You know, so we're still here telling you about it. And I think we may have made some promises over social media over the last two weeks during the Max Fund Drive, and we may or may not have hit those goals. And if we did, hooray. Yeah. And if we didn't, well, let's keep trying this weekend still counts. Yeah. Dan, to donate, am I correct in saying that people should go to maximumfund.org slash donate. That's correct. You got it, buddy.

And maybe later in the episode, we'll tell you even more about the amazing bonus content and gifts that you get for your varying levels of donation at maximumfund.org slash donate for the max fund pledge drive now winding down hopefully after shattering all previous records. Yeah, but what do we do on this your podcast, Dan? Okay, well, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Uh-huh. But we also, we also in this podcast promote the maximum drive and shame Dan about his weekends. Uh-huh. Look, uh, just because I'm not living your rich full life doesn't mean that I'm not a person of value. Mm hmm. No, Dan, actually the fact that you went to a party and went bowling was actually,

I thought you were going to say you stayed at home and like reorganized your DVDs. So I'm impressed. Yeah. I mean, I have found enough time in my life to try and rewatch all of the Marvel movies and anticipation of infinity. I'm glad that you put try and rewatch. Like, oh, I might not make it. Yeah. Well, my eyeballs might be too tired. Who knows what lies ahead? Your eyes are like too much blue glowy stuff. I can't handle any more blue glowy and you're like just push through the wall, push through it, you can get there. Yeah, so I've been doing really worthwhile things with my time.

See, in addition to doing a full rewatch of the Marvel movies, which I think I'm about as far as you are, Dan. I'm also doing a full reread of a 14 book science fiction series. Okay. What series is that? It's the The Gantz Ghost Novels by Dan Amnett. Oh, okay. You know, comic book writer, novel novelist man about town, I guess.

He's one of the two writers. He's one of the two writers you can thank for making the comics that the Guardians of the Galaxy movies were essentially taken from Hulk-Law. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. Interesting, thanks. We run that he wrote with Andy Lannick. Yeah. Yeah now Dan

But you said we watch a movie on this podcast that we talk about it, right? And in this case we watched a movie called the layover Which we find out is not William H. Macy's directorial debut, but it might as well be but it's his second film It's his sophomore. I mean, I have to assume it was his dream project. This is the one that he's been trying to get made for years. This is his cashed all his chips. This is his Rushmore. This is his Boogie Knights. Yeah. This is his Star Wars. This is his, go on. This is Kis. Now, would you call Jaws Steven Spielberg's second movie? Well, I mean, it depends on whether you count to all I suppose.

And what about it? Where does Sugar Land Express fall in with that? I was, that was before. That was before. That was before, I believe. I do believe. It's true. So really does everything is happening up to.

So now the layover, this is not the TV show that Anthony Verdain hosts sometimes, right? No, this is, wait a minute. I thought that's what I was supposed to watch on the plane. Oh, shit. Uh oh. Guys, listeners, I'm just fucking around. I actually did my homework this time.

I know you're worried. Should we talk about what the movie is? Yes, probably. This movie is kind of like an old fashioned sex comedy, except without the comedy, and with very little sex. And it's about two feisty ladies who are feuding over the same guy. Dan, you've been in that situation many times. What's that like?

Where I've feuded over the same guy with another feisty lady. Yeah. Yeah. You got it. Well,. Yeah, yeah, you got it Well, you know, sometimes you just got to go with your heart and do what you got to do to make your you know You're love life what it's got to be step on your comfort zone. Yeah, that's what this movie is all about Okay, actually let's tell you what this movie really is all about. Okay, so The layover begins. We open with our heroine, Alexander D'Dario, who you may remember from like like what? Who detected it in San Andreas.

And the like Percy Jackson movies. Yeah. I see in those. I'm sure we all remember the first. You guys know this. We're real Jackson. He's now that's Percy Jackson then the Olympians, right? That's that. Yeah. I was not aware of the book series it's based on until I've heard so I kept seeing posters for it. I thought it was a band. Pretty.

That's a pretty crappy name for a band. A old fashioned name. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, I was in the Dario. She's a high school teacher. She's teaching her school, I teach in her class about Lord of the Flies

because, and this also refers to annihilation in a movie, I saw yesterday in like a lot. Every movie that involves a teacher, the teacher can only be teaching something that speaks to the themes of the film. And the themes of the movie and it's often as like, and as basically as introductory as possible. Yes.

So these kid. Now, this scene got me excited for the movie because you guys probably know, I'm not a huge fan of kids. I don't like kids that much. Sure. But this movie introduced me to a kid that I can endorse.

The character Demarius, who is a young man who instead of reading Lord of the Flies, he is reading some manga underneath his desk. And Demarius, I don't know, he's just got this certain style. Like, maybe it's the gold chain around his neck or the way he wears his glasses like he's Jeffrey Wright. But man, that kid's just awesome. And like when

called out by his teacher, there's a lot of stuff going on with Damarius that was very confusing, like the way he dressed and his body type and his interest in manga. And I was like, they, I think they tried to write this like as color blind casting as possible. Yeah, some and yet it somehow ended up being a character that makes no sense, who's like this weird mix of like black and white and nerd and cool kid and like grown-up and teen. And I like, Demarius is all things. He should be the hero of the movie.

Now was he reading manga or was it like full on hint eye? Because I feel like they were talking about how the tentacles were like penises. his in his words. He was calling it manga So I'll just I'll accept what did Marius says all right, but the fact that like my guess is that my guess is that the people making this movie Don't really know the difference. Yeah, and assume all Japanese comics has tentacle penises in it. Mm-hmm And it's they've never read grave of the fireflies, which has nary attentively needs to be bound. Maybe they have little like margin comics like mesmune Shiradah's of tentacle. Maybe.

Awesome. But the thing about Demarius is when called out by his teacher and it's revealed that he's reading comics under the table. Instead of being embarrassed, he is like, nope, I'm going to start reading you dialogue and panel description. Well, she makes him, but he seems to be cool with it. Yeah, with gusto.

He has no shame whatsoever. He displays levels of confidence that only she can, she can only hope to achieve. Or maybe she achieves by the end of the movie. We'll find out. Yeah. Now, uh, that gets interrupted by, uh, the principal to school, uh, Rob Quargery, my old co-worker. Yeah. He comes in and now there's some cross-cutting back forth. Let's just say what happens with D'Dario first, then we'll get to Kate Upton. Uh, D'Dario is told by the principal that he would like

her to resign so that he doesn't have to fire her. It's never made clear. It's never made clear. Yeah, I assume it's just funding issues because it doesn't seem like she's doing a bad job as a teacher. But she's also like an English teacher. So it's not like this is like a, it's not an extracurricular type of class that's outside of the main core school educational curriculum. Like I don't, I don't get it.

Anyway, but she is disheartened by this clearly as she should be. Meanwhile, her roommate and best friend, Kate Upton, is trying to sell unsafe North Korean cosmetics to the buyer for a cosmetics company. Sounds funnier than it plays in the movie. It plays very badly. And it's also like, she puts this lip gloss on and then it burns her lips and she has to

pretend it's not burning and she runs out. And it's like, so am I supposed to sympathize with her? Because if she gets what she wants, then she's going to hurt untold numbers of people. I would like, I would like a pre-qured at sequence of her like establishing the connections to some North Korean company that'll provide her these cosmetics. That's the other thing because she's breaking international law, which is or American embargo law, which is pointed out like the FBI should be investigating right now.

Like I don't know how she bought that stuff. And then she was outside to find that her car is told. And she utters the first of numerous swear words because one of Kate Upton's character, one of her personality. So we've already figured out here the two characters. I was entered in our supposed to be like the good girl who wants to do good. And Kate Upton is the bad girl who only wants to party. Yeah. They are their roommates together in an enormous apartment. I think it has four floors. I mean, it's a, it's Seattle, dude. You can get, I mean, uh, like what real estate's not expensive in Seattle, right? This is one of many things that

stressed me out about this movie because, all right. So the movie starts out with Alexander D'Ario just being a teacher and having a teacher salary and Kate up to, apparently, just, excuse me, excuse me, just being a teacher as if a teacher is not something to share with you. I just mean in terms of... I'm just talking about financial stability of being a teacher and like, the... I understand, I'm just bustin' your chops,

Michael, keep on keepin' them. So she doesn't have any money. Kate Upton is, you know, doing this cosmetic scam, she presumably has no money. And in the midst of this movie like and didario gets fired So then they take a vacation and the Fired yeah Well, I mean that's yeah the the way that money is dealt within this movie is interesting because it's never really a

It's never really an issue. No, but they bring it up a lot. They bring up specific pricing often. Yeah, my guess is that both of these characters, the backstory I gave them was they both have rich families. And it's like, they don't really have to worry about money, but it's embarrassing to have to go ask mommy and daddy for more books. Oh, that makes sense.

Because they throw money around like crazy. But you're right, like one of them has no job and just bought 10,000 bottles of poisonous North Korean lip gloss. And the other one is working on a public school teacher salary. She can't be that it's not like, I mean, she couldn't have been doing the job so long that she's built up a lot of money from seniority and extra graduate degrees as that's how it works

when you're a teacher. But so it's like, I don't know, but they complain about money a lot, but they never really seem to be in danger of running out of money. Now. So they both cope with their business problems in different ways.

Alexander D'Aro does a little bit of retail therapy and Kate Upton presumably like forces her Uber driver into sex with her. Like the way that guy reacts to the situation seems very much like a hostage. Yes he does. Now with here and you know that so you know that Alexander D'Arte, it just everything about this is very cookie cutter. Like the way that they dress tells you everything you need to know.

You know that Alexander D'Arte was the good girl because she wears professional clothes. You know that Kate Upton is the bad girl because she doesn't wear pajama pants when she goes to sleep. Like that you kind of you always know in a movie if you see it if you see a grown woman in a movie wearing a shirt and pants to go to sleep. You're like oh she's gonna have to bust out of her shell at some point. Yep because cool babes don't wear pants when they sleep. Which is crazy. Everyone wears pants when they sleep. I don't wear pants when I sleep. which is crazy. Everyone wears pants when they sleep. I don't wear pants when I sleep. Well, but you're not everyone.

You're special. Yeah. What am I supposed to wear? Wait, like, I'm supposed to wear like full button down pajamas. My or slacks, jeans, overalls, whatever you want to wear. Oh, wow. Just makes my legs hot. Yeah.

Now, the two of them, we see them in their pajamas because they watch the bachelor together and Express their different romantic philosophies about whether they should compete and wet what's fair and lever war and my notes I don't remember what I'm referring to here, but I just say up in is terrible and terrible is underlying several times You mean her character or her performance? I'm not sure it applies to both. I mean no one is particularly good in this movie, but but Kate up to is you can see why she has not setting the world on fire as neck. I feel like people there

Well, we I think performance is very, but yeah, for the most part, no. She would be the perfectly acceptable lead for like a hallmark movie. Okay. I could see that. Yeah. She's I could see that. Before we ever watch the movie about it. It's about so it's Christmas.

And okay. Yeah, it's a hallmark movie. Does someone needs her dad always used to go ice fishing. And she has a real connection to ice fishing because of that, but they're gonna tear down the old ice fishing shack. And when they do, they find her dad's body. Now Perry Hole is on the case. It's a hallmark, Hall of Fame, Yonezbo. It's a hallmark hall of fame. Yo Nesbo.

It's a hallmark. Come on. Yeah, hallmark. That's just as so hairy hallmark reduction. Oh boy. So Stuart, what are we going to say? I don't fucking remember. Well, we don't have time for it because Kate up didn't just bought them last minute tickets to Fort

Lauderdale. That's right. They're going to Fort Lickerdale for a little bit of bad girl vacations. Is that what they call it? Troubles. Is that like that's what, uh, my coworker of Dan's used to be a coworker of mine as well. One James Don. He grew up right near there. And apparently, you know, that they would, uh, that's what that people would call it for Fort Likker Day. Okay.

He said it was a weird place to grow up because when you're a kid, layer all these TV commercials for like spring break, crazy things to do. So you're like, is this what grown-ups do? Like... This initiates the second part of the movie that created great anxiety in me because

Kate Upton apparently, and one of the throwaway lines, it's kind of funny, honestly, Alexander D'Aario said something like, I told you, you can have a bath or poach an egg, but not both. And in a better movie, that would have gotten a laugh out of me. But she apparently took a long time getting to the airport, and there's stuck behind a big line, and there's stuck behind a big line and there's nothing that causes me more anxiety in a movie than people not taking travel seriously. Yeah. I think we've talked about this. What to me is when people in movies or TV leave faucets running

yeah okay is to you people who are like not giving enough care to their travel plans. Yeah, see the thing that really stressed me out when like, I don't know like a convicted serial killer is left alone with a child and then he just wanders away free. Like that stress is my con air. Yeah, one movie. I don't know, but I'm a little bit crazy. That's one of my my quirks. Yeah. Stuart, are you forgetting that that was the breakout lovable character of the movie? Yeah. The movie that I national acclaimed the character that the movie ends on before like doing a happy version of sweet home out of town. Apparently making me getting that. Are you

forgetting that? You escaped. Are you forgetting that Bill Clinton awarded that character the presidential medal of freedom because America so fell in love with this serial killer who it's described as him driving cross country with a little girl's head tied to his head like a hat. And that is somehow the character who's now like the adorable mascot of the film. Is that what bother you? Yeah, thanks for reminding me because I remember when bill

Clinton awarded that character that medal. He actually he had to go to that magical movie theater from last action hero and travel into the movie universe so he could hand that medal to Steve Bouchembe's character. I think now you're I think you may be misremembering the cosmology of last action hero. It was a magic ticket and not a magic theater. But yes, otherwise exactly correct. So wait, I could just take that fucking magic ticket to any old like those movie pass. Yeah. Yeah. That's how that's how that's how death from the seventh seal comes up and it starts walking around. Do you think that was playing at the same theater as the latest Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jack What's his name? Cop, actually, we go away. I mean, that kinda sounds like the Alamo draft test is programming schedule.

But. Tushay, good point. By the way, I'm betting that my movie pass reference is gonna be what dates this podcast, like by the time I actually released it, it's gonna have gone under. I mean, I'm shocked that it hasn't. I have one of my employees has been keeping a movie pass journal

of how much he has spent on movie pass and how many dollars worth of tickets he has bought on movie pass and it's something like 10 times the amount of money. It's like he's made, he has cost movie pass like $800. Except the movie is not the product, he's the product. The whole thing is just to collect data on people's movie going and purchasing happens.

So they can clone them. It's like the same way that people are like, all this internet stuff, it's totally free. It's not free, dude. If it's free, then you're what's being sold. Anyway, welcome to Chapo Trap House. We gotta talk to you once and so. Is that the kind of stuff they talk about? I thought it was all like Simpsons references. I don't like titles that rhyme. So I've been

avoiding Dan, we talked about this. I'm always just afraid to listen to it because it's a trap. I have always just afraid to listen to it because it's a trap. I don't want to get stuck there. It's in the title. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's right there. Anyway, so they go to for this. So I'm going to say this line sequence, where this is when in the movie, I thought there's a chance that maybe it was because I was watching on a plane and the altitude was affecting

my brain. But this is when I thought that I might have been hearing things are going crazy because it seemed like this is the start of the movie using sound editing to splice in little noises to like punch up some of the scenes. So when she is trying to get, you know, jump to the front of the line by revealing that she packed underpants in her bag. I thought I heard like little moaning sounds,

like sex noises, and then later on. No, I think those might have, I think those might have been in there, yeah. Okay, so I'm not going crazy. So she is, and now she's gonna try to get to the front of the line to get some extra help from the guy at the desk by making him think about her wearing underpants,

by showing her his, the underpants she's packed. He helps and then they get to the security line where she eats a hot dog and chugs an entire doctor pepper. And it's like, at that point, I'm like, I feel like I have gone through some kind of gender reversing cabinet and then used a magic movie ticket into this movie because that's how I like to travel. That's you really, you really identified with that character.

I've often thought you were a kid up in Taik. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where did you get that crazy sausage and peppers in the airport? I don't know. Having spent a bunch of time. I mean, she brought it with her. Okay, that makes sense.

That's why they were like, yeah. They were late because she was making a sausage and peppers peppers on sausage on a bun with peppers and onions. And she poached in it. This again, this is the caricature you see every now and then of like, she's supposed to be that much more attractive because she likes guys stuff, but she's also kind of gross. And so and when she was forced to chug that, that Dr. Pepper, not really forced, I mean, she chose to do it. But while she was doing it, I think they spliced in background audio of people like saying awesome.

Okay. Or maybe that was just me saying it under my breath. You're real layover detective. I missed all these extra clues. These clues. Each one is necessary to solve the mystery at the heart of the film. I was in what I consider to be and what my friend Christopher Nolan considers to be the perfect viewing environment, which is on a, on a cross country flight watching a movie on an iPad.

Yeah. There is no outside you and your friend Chris talk about that a lot. Yeah. Me and Chrissy. We talk about how we like to watch movies like that. And yeah, the smaller the screen, the better he says. Now, what, here's the note I have for their time on the plane. The Dario is a bad flyer and upton's Br Brassian burpee. Yeah. Now because she's a anxious nerd type, the Dario is, and at this point, I did not know either of these characters names. We're probably 15 minutes into the movie. It took so long before I picked up with these characters. There's a, where's a man? Right? I'll say to Dario and Upton. Yeah.

Yeah. Meg, right? A Megan. I hate it. Meg is, I I think Kate Upton is Meg. All right. And Meg is, they're both named after Peter Benchley, both of which she's Meg. And I was editor Dario is Jaws. It's okay. Yeah. So she's, I was editor Dario is the anxious character. So of course, she's like, I don't fly well. And Kate Upton is just burping like crazy.

And of course, there's a sassy gay flight attendant who has to comment on all of her births. Yeah, well, apparently this movie is stupid. Apparently her burps like stink like farts, the way that everyone reacts to them. I mean, I mean, I've encountered a smelly burper too in my time, but nothing to the degree that this movie would have us believe

is possible. You would think she ate a skunk. Yeah. The skunk is living in her throat and just spraying musk out of her mouth. Yep. Um, well, I'm going to say, I take this as a compliment because I know I've had some stinky burps around Dan, but I'm glad that Dan has forgotten them and not called me out on it. Okay, so she's burping up a storm. D'Dario is getting very anxious and eventually take some plain pills. When who sits in between them but kind of like a budget, Matthew McConaughey, he tired of like, how would you guys describe this?

I would describe him as a director, William H. Macy's cipher. I mean, he does seem like, I mean, Matthew McConaughey is right in that. He seems like the kind of guy who probably would take a shirt off and play some drums. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. And maybe he has a pukasherl necklace someplace. Probably. He also has the same haircut that William H. Macy has. He has the same bit of beard that William H. Macy has. I mean the same bit of beard that Willie Macy has. I mean, I feel like this is a pretty direct one-to-one correlation. It's like Woody Allen

casting Nebyshe dudes in place of himself. He is a younger buff sort of stretched out in Willie Macy. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I think by saying buff, you're saying that Willie Macy is a buff, and I mean, he is pretty cut. He's pretty in his in shape. So you call him, let's for lack of a word, let's call him William H. H. H. H. H. also stands for H. H. Now I want to. So his name is William Hunky. Do we have to, do we have to say that full name every time we refer to the character on the podcast? If we want this to have any sort of cohesion consistency, then yes, of course. I, I want to take a moment to say, as this character is being introduced, that I cannot think of a bigger cipher for these two women to be interested in.

He is the most boring guy that I think I've seen in a movie. Like beyond his looks, there is absolutely nothing that I could see would entice these women. And he's not even that, like he's a good looking guy, but he's not, in a doneness, but the minute he sits down, they act as if fucking Apollo himself just sat between them. Like, this is, oh my God, like, they can't even, they can't have to take their eyes away because the radiance of his beauty is burning their cornyas out. Like, they, they react to him the way that, like it's hard, you would think that like a hypnosis ray

was placed over the plane, or like the purple man walked by. And it was like, hey, the guy who sits next to you is the most handsome man who's ever lived. Like they're just so crazy over him. And, but I mean, I think they introduced the fact that both of them were big fans of the television show, the bachelor.

And I don't think this guy is any more boring than any of the bachelor contestants. Well, I mean, yeah, sure. That's in a good indictment of the bachelor, but I mean, but they, but they make a point of saying how interested in former bachelor's they both were. Well, he's a fireman, which is a, I did like the needle drop when he revealed he was a fireman. Yeah. And I like I was on the plane and I started looking around like, are you seeing this? Now unfortunately, so they both start flirting with him and compete and there's this. So Kate often starts flirting and D'Dario gets a look on her face

like someone flipped a switch in her brain. She's like, oh no, I'm gonna flirt with him too. And they are like, if this was at a certain point, I was like, is this gonna turn into a porno and they're just gonna open up his fly and start taking his penis out? Like the way they are like, so obviously presenting to him. Yeah, I mean, you looked at the rating of the movie.

You looked at the rating of the movie and you're like, they're probably gonna start pulling out his penis and having hardcore sexiness movie. I have so much respect for a movie that just started out like a really stupid and already comedy. And then in the middle, there was the hardest core sex scene. And then the movie doesn't reference it again. Wow, right now, Dana's saying, I respect Vincent Gallo movies. There was the hardest core sex scene and then the movie doesn't reference it again.

Wow. Right now, Dan is saying, I respect Vincent Gallo movies. All right. You make a good point. Yeah. I guess what I'm saying is they are clearly an estrus and are doing what they can to get him into him. So at this point, we've been introduced to both of these characters and they have been revealed to not be particularly good friends to each other. They have not been revealed to be good at their jobs

or particularly like maybe they have charming quirks, maybe, but nothing particularly, nothing really stands out about them. And then so you're like, okay, so they're going to be fighting over this man. At least, maybe the draw of this movie is not that we like these characters, but that they're very good at this, this like, this like cat and mouse spiver, spy type situation. But no, they're both terrible at hitting on this man. Yeah. But they're going to get a lot of chances because there's a storm that forces them to land in St. Louis. And I have to say that I have never seen people who have had their plain forced down in a city that's like not really close to where they're going. Take it in such stride.

Like the dude is especially when the dude is supposed is he has to get to Florida for a win Yeah, but he seems kind of mildly upset about it. Yeah, and the other two He also seems like a guy who are not a lot of bad stuff has happened to his whole life. Yeah Things have been pretty easy for William H. Hunky He's like William H. Hunky is like John Hammond that 30-rock episode Where he's just used to having things handed to him on a platter Mm-hmm because he's a handsome guy and let's not forget that our heroes And I use that term lightly because they're bad people that are the heroes of the movie are like

Dandelion seeds in the winds like they were already on an impulse flight to Port Lauderdale Who knows where life will take them like they're kind of in they're just taking whatever in store Yeah, they're like you know St. Louis is pretty good too. I mean, it's basically the same before Lauderdale of the West. Sir, yeah. We'll go to the city museum. We'll see the arch. Hey, did you know that, did you know that the Plessy V. Ferguson case had some interesting things?

I was, it wasn't Plessy V. Ferguson. It was a, what's the other really bad? I think you could have gotten away with that one. You know, either of us was gonna have to check. It's not true. I'm getting my, I'm getting my bad Supreme Court decision. So they, they show up at the hotel. Oh, the Dred Scott decision.

Did you know Dred Scott was around here? That's what it would have been. They show up at the hotel and we're introduced to one of the bigger name stars in the movie, CalPen playing a hotel manager. And we see a scene of him basically going through all the stuff that you go over with a hotel receptionist. Like, with no jokes. Yeah, there's no jokes at all.

We see the whole scene. And the use of CalPen in this movie is baffling because he has not given anything to do. And you're like, why is the name actor in this role? Uh, I think I think we already mentioned it, Dan. He got a free trip to St. Louis out of the hole. I will say this, they have to stay at a Sheridan. And the St. Louis Sheridan gets the glamour treatment in this movie. Beauty shots of the hotel. There's a scene where the characters

walk into the room and talk about how it's not that bad It's pretty nice actually. There's apparently a hot nightclub in the Sheridan. There's a big Sheridan logo like Projected onto the wall. It's like at a certain point. I'm like am I watching a commercial for Sheridan? There's and there's I thought this is a movie in the pool that they have the guest pool has an has a section that's deep enough for diving. Yeah. Pretty good. Pretty sweet. Yeah. That's all go there. I mean, it looks like this, the St. Louis Sheridan's where we got to be. We can meet Cal Penn. He works there. They're all staying at the same hotel. Them and the hunky guy. And so they make plans to see them. And there's this very weird scene.

And there's a Jewelers convention. Yeah. And there's also a Jewelers convention on. And the Jewelers, as we'll find out, are a bunch of losers. They're kind of laymos. There's a weird scene where D'Dario kind of says that she doesn't think she's beautiful.

And Kate Upton is like, no, come on, you're beautiful. And I'm like, come on, movie. Like, what are you doing? Yeah. I don't believe this from a moment, but the bigger problem is Kate Upton's bag is missing and D'Dario will not share her dress for their hot evening at the Sheraton Night Club

with William H. Honkey. Yeah. So what is she gonna do? She can't go to a store and buy a dress. She would need money for that. And they only have unlimited money. Yeah. So what do they do? Well, they go to a store and buy a dress. She would need money for that. And they only have unlimited money. Yeah. So what do they do?

Well, they go to Caldame. And D'Dario, or sorry, upton basically black males him into giving her his mother's dress by threatening a bad yelp review. Now, this is where this character lost any sympathy I could have. As a small business owner, I know of the power that yelp has over bars, restaurants, and hotels. Yeah. So that is bullshit, dude. Yeah, mom and pop operations like Sheridan. like Sheridan. So, yeah, Kate Upton shows up in a, like, is it a sorry or is it just like a very fancy

Indian dress? They make a joke about, she calls it a sorry, Dan. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it looks like a nice sorry. It looks like the kind of sorry an older woman would wear on it on a regular day or to a nice restaurant. But everyone acts as if she's dressed at she's Cinderella walking into the room. Like everyone's and it's so weird because

it's like everyone's heads are turned and she's wearing the most shapeless dress. I think any I think she's probably worn in her life. Like it shows nothing about her and she should be like it just it's another case where they're like okay the thing that we have on screen doesn't really live up to what the script needs it to be. But can everybody like amp up their reaction as if this is the most beautiful dress you put in? People are flipping out. Super sexy. Everybody starts flipping out.

There's a shot of a guy pouring an orange soda all over himself on a surprise. There's a guy who's a eyes pop out his head and like his tongue unfurls. Yep. Not, not to make my second someone taking their penis out reference, but it's a Jonah Hill from Wolf of Wall Street just starts masturbating in front of everybody. Like he does to Margot Robbie and that. That is the weirdest moment in that movie, by the way.

In a movie full of strange moments, the weirdest one is when Jonah Hill just starts masturbating and at a party and for everybody and everyone is like, hey, come on. They don't act, they're not like, they're just like mildly miffed, they're not discussing. And they don't reveal, is that in the movie, was that a prosthetic penis or was that Joan Hill's actual penis?

Oh no, that's his real one, he calls it Joan as Hill. I was doing a bit of a deep dive in celebrity penises yesterday. Yeah, may let focus around my man Willem Dafoe. Okay. And focus around a man willing to foe. Okay. And yeah, apparently he's packing a monster. I was reading a guardian article where one of the paragraphs opens with, of course, all women find him gorgeous.

And I was like, you know, wait, let's pump those breaks for a second. I'm sure he's got a magnetic personality. He seems very exciting and interesting. Yeah. But I feel like of course, like come on, like you're underestimating the number of women that have a gargoyle fetish. I mean, I guess I mean, you're essentially you're you're comparing him, I guess, to international teen heartthrob close kids. Anyway, let's we should speed through some of this as a jewel convention. The jewelers hit on upton and didario and Kate upton says that she's a federal agent. She's going to throw them away. Or I don't know. She just threatens them to let them go. They hang out with Molly Shannon,

who is one of his hilariously oversexed with her lover that she's with. And they find out the stormens the stormens getting worse. They're going to be stuck in St. Louis a little longer. We're introduced to the other main character of the movie, Matt Jones, the guy who played Badger on Breaking Bad, who plays one of the nerdy jewelers. Yeah. And he's the only one in the movie I think that exhibits any charm. And it's certainly not from the way he's written. It's just because he's a charming actor.

Yeah. Yeah. He's fun. And then's just because he's a charming actor. Yeah, yeah, he's fun. And then we watch everybody dancing for a long time. Dan sequence is the deep goes on so fucking long. What are you talking about? I thought it went along exactly long enough for a big joke about a new to it like a like an what like accidental nudity that you don't actually see. Yeah. Yeah, that Kate Upton, she spins around in her sorry and one of her boobs falls out. It is tastefully framed so that we don't see it. Because what would ruin a supposed love triangle sex comedy

more than seeing a boob? And here's something I'm gonna just gonna mention right now that this movie, and again, I'm to sound like a gross gross hetero guy. Okay. Let me both of us help. Yeah. Well, okay. The ratio of, yeah, buckle up.

It's going to be a hot take that's going to make me a lot of enemies. It's I'm going to be very unwoke right now. I'm sleeping. The ratio of actual guys butts that we see in the movie, which is two. The ratio of that to promised boobs, which we do not see, which is zero, we never see or infinity, because we never see any but we're constantly promised boobs, it seems very off to me. It seems strange for this movie. And it makes me think like, was William H. May C. saying to himself, I'm going to make like a gross out romantic comedy for women, where like they get to objectify

people. He doesn't succeed in that, but maybe that's what he was going for. So he was like, it's time for the guys to put their meat on display, and the women they don't have to do this. So you think the creative process started with the director William H. Macy.

He was like, I want that to be my next project. So I'll get the guy who played Rickety Cricket on it's always sunny in Philadelphia to write me a screenplay about ladies just getting their own thing. Yeah, I mean, I think that's what it was. He's William H. Macy said, I'm gonna strike a blow against William H. Massagini

and give women the movie that they make. Okay, I mean, it's weird, because this movie, it does seem like it wants to try both things. Like, the movie wants to be about female friendship, but then it shows female friendship in the most unflattering light. It shows it like as soon as the friends do each other. As soon as a guy enters the picture, they're gonna be at each other's throat.

And of course, the movie is completely boob obsessed. Like, I feel like that is why William H. Macy signed on to the picture, because he's like, okay, this will just give me the chance to showcase as much cleavage as I want to put on the like I'm not. He was offered. He was they said, well, you made two scripts came in for you to direct as your sophomore effort. Okay, tell me about him. One's called the layover. Does that boob in it? Yes. The other one's called mudbound and it's kind of a story about a interracial friendship in the, in the 1940s and in the deep south,

how many boobs are in it? Well, no boobs, but all right, then I'm doing the other one. Layover, it is. Yeah. I love that we're just imparting these with motives to what we've made to make. I mean, I don't know, like,

I think we're just reading between the lines to, yeah. Yeah. And so we should, what are you saying? I'm trying to think at this point, you know, they can chin you there, their conquest after this guy. Pretty quickly, I'm like, does this guy, is this guy intentionally torturing the two of them?

Is he just like pitting them against each other to see how far he can go? Like he's some kind of like Luciferian like like gentlemen caller demon who's shown up to try and like get them to kill each other. It's a good point because there's no way that he can't tell that they're into him like the way that they're behaving. Oh no, he totally knows it. But he's as we find out later, he plans to have sex with both of them and he's just kind of pretending that he's oblivious in order to be the guy that they to keep it going To get them to a fevered pitch of fornacity in which they can't keep their hands off him Yeah, and so anyway, they go through a series of adventures They hang out and go to on a hot air balloon

Of course, that's not good for D'Dario because she's afraid of heights But will you make hunky sooths her as they bond over singing a pink song together? The hot air balloon pilot only has one eye. There's almost no jokes attached to it and it doesn't make any sense. Kate up in Bioschampaign and in Salted Dario, here's where I have the note, why are they friends? And hits the pilot in his good eye with the champagne.

And where is that guy? Where is that guy? Where is that guy? Keep the champagne up there. Like does he have like a bag of holding? Where's the shampoo? It's certainly not properly chilled. It's right underneath the fire

that they used to keep the balloon. Yeah, it has a refrigerated blue apron box that he's got it in. Oh, I see. Oh, blue apron. Dan, we're not supposed to promote anything else during the maximum. Okay.

Anyway, so the, and here's one of these things that I feel like this is the kind of thing that is a, it's like an unintentional racism, or maybe it's a, maybe it's a, maybe it's subtext about how white people kind of can go around stomping at everything that the only Indian character is Calpen's character, who is blackmailed into giving up his mother's own dress. The only black character is a one-eyed man whose other eye gets attacked by this kind of white flusies champagne cork hitting him in the face. And then when the hot air balloon lands, it literally crushes the birthday cake of a Latino boy.

Nope. And it's like this, like this movie is just kind of like this movie could have been called like white people ruining other people's day, obliviously. Like, just this trail of destruction as they destroy minorities, livelihoods, their health, their most precious day of the year, their birthday. So they eventually find Kate up in suitcase, which is great. It means they can go swimming she has a bathing suit we're still talking about these things she walks out she attracts all the jeweler guys that's not what she wants meanwhile didario does that old

favorite cuts her own bathing suit up to make it really tiny so that she's showing off more skin now i'm not a seamstress is that possible you don't know it is an amazing like red bricks of hollywood uh Hollywood suit that she comes up with. Yeah, I mean, at that point, I'm like, oh, now there's a reason I have to root for this character because she's exhibiting a skill. I mean, her outfit, her dress looks far better than any of Reynolds Woodcox outfits in Phantom Thread.

Let me tell you. Well, hot take on Phantom Thread. Let me tell you. Well, hot take on Phantom Thread. Hey, I'm just saying the dresses look bad. Um, the, I did like how the, uh, the guys at the Jewelers convention were eating in a hot tub. I mean, I think that's always a good look. I think that's a cool way because, uh, there's nothing better than being hot and eating hot food at the same time. It's called living in the tropics. Okay. So I ate spicy food in hot laces, but a Stuart to piggy back on your time at all the

sound effects that were added in to the movie. This is the part where when when didario is walking by in her newly shorn bathing suit, we do hear like wolf whistles inserted into the background. And it and that moment made me feel very icky because I was like, look guys, let me just pull back the veil. I'm just a guy. I'm not above my base animal instincts. Did I go into this wanting to see Alexander D'Aario with no clothes on?

Yes, I did, of course. Ever. And so that's so I was like, oh, okay, I want to see you're in this skimpy bathing suit. And then I heard that Wolf Whistle in the background and I was like, oh, I'm a monster. I feel terrible now. Yeah. It's like when you're talking to skimpy bathing suit. And then I heard that Wolf whistle in the background and I was like, I'm a monster. I feel terrible now. Yeah, it's like, it's like when you're talking to your dad about movies and he reveals that a much younger actress is attractive.

You're like, I can never watch this movie ever again, Dan. I mean, that Wolf whistle was the film in Diting You, Elliot. Maybe it was like funny games. Yeah, it's like funny games. That's, it felt like, yeah, or like what sucker punch tried so hard to do and failed to do. The layover did within that one moment where it was like, oh, you like this? Well, you're an asshole for liking it. Oh, man, you're right. The layover.

Really rough. Anyway, so you get a competitive diving sequence. Yeah. That turns into them reforming the sexiest of sports, diving. sequence. Yeah. That turns into them reforming the sexiest of sports, diving. And and Kate up didn't accidentally hits her face on the pool, which is terrible. Um, anyway, they had there's another scene with Molly Shannon, because I guess they hired her for two scenes, where she reveals that she's actually there with she's the mistress of the guy she's with. And she says, you got to go for what you want. And they find out that the hunky guy is going to leave and drive to Fort Lauderdale with the jeweler played by what's his name? Um, I think it's Matt Jones. Matt Jones from, uh, from, uh, from breaking bed. And the girls decide to go along too. They have a road trip and it is so boring.

Yeah, it is, there's like no jokes. It's just them singing along to music on the radio. They're playing different road games, like road word games. There's burping. This movie is a 90 minutes long and it is not tight. There are scenes that are clearly just in there to pat out the time. Like, as if this was a television show

and they added like a car chase or something because they're like, I don't know what else to do. This thing's got to be had hour long. Well, it's like, uh, they want to give a bunch of fillers so that when the jokes do hit, you're ready for them, you know. They really like, oh man, I've been dying for some laughs. Yeah. It's just like the, uh, the night watchman scene in Macbeth, where you're like, oh, after all that tension when he's murdering King Duncan, I need I need some larps. Okay, here we go.

Yeah, it's the Shakespearean model, the layover. Yeah, the layovers just like Macbeth says Elliott Kaelin. So this is when both characters go to a place that makes it hard for me to to ever be a sympathetic to them every where did Dario shows everyone a childhood photo of Kate Upton's character wearing a helmet she needed to fix a malformed skull that everyone made fun of when she was a kid and it's like at this point and then Kate opt in response by blocking the door of a gas station bathroom that the guy was in. So let's unpack. So let's unpack. I assume to start.

So let's unpack this first part. I don't know about you guys, but I don't think I've ever been shown a picture of a person when they're younger and been like, oh, I think much less of you now because that's what you look like as a child. Yeah. Especially when it's a physical defect that was fixed, it's like, oh, you were born with a problem and then you solved it. You know what, you're a loser.

Yeah. It doesn't matter to me that you're beautiful now. When you were a kid, your skull was mischraping. So at this point, I could never date you. I'm gonna go with your friend. Yeah, so that was crazy. But then let's talk about this bathroom. First off, there's a big W written on it, which I'm assuming stands for women's

or maybe water closet. But I'm assuming it stands for women's, of course. An old home, I'm assuming homeless man, I don't want to like shame him based on his outfit, but that's what kind of have them. No, for all you know, he's one of those very wealthy people who dresses up like a hobo and gets lost for a few weeks and then comes back and puts on an armani seat like at the beginning of the first issue of wild games. Yeah, he's a walking Phoenix.

So she goes, she a walking Phoenix, like a Phoenix that walks around. Yep. Uh, so she goes into this washroom before being, uh, barricaded inside. And this women's room has an out of order urinal. So I'm assuming it became the women's room when the urinal was out of order. Sure. It used to be unisex in the urinal, broke, they went, eh, it's a woman's room now. And at that point, and then she uses it and then doesn't flush, which is like, now you're just contributing to the problem later.

But finally, she gets some comeuppance when she ends up stepping in her own filth and other people's filth. Yeah, this is like, and other people's. Of course, because this is a comedy, this is a gross bathroom, this is like the train spotting bathroom basically, but because that is never funny, I did not

laugh. Like, I did not like that. You go into a gross bathroom. Yeah, I don't like the idea of someone wallowing in a filth. You're like, that's how people get sick. All right. Yeah. You get sick from that.

Yeah. It's literally what killed most people for centuries. Was that kind of illness, but what are you gonna do? It's hilarious. I mean, I did think it was kind of funny when she wrapped her arms and legs in toilet paper to create some kind of a buffer, which of course doesn't work.

She breaks the sink and then she escapes. And I don't think she tells anyone she broke the sink. Well, I get that point, they're just a breaking shit. But I do have to give Alexander D'Areal credit at this point because she her look of like rage and anger is really awesome. Like she plays super crazy angry really well. I think she was probably tapping into the real emotions she was feeling about having to perform that scene and be in this movie. Sure. Yeah. Where she was just like, I'm going to let all my anger at William H. Macy for commissioning this screenplay off of an original idea I assume he had.

And then casting me, you know, using some sort of blackmail that he held over me, that I'm going to use that right now. And then directly, um, H. Macy was like, good work, good work. That was great. Anyway, I got to go, I got gotta go shoot another episode of Shameless. So just do whatever in front of the camera. And we'll figure it out later. Yeah, just throw more poop on her.

Yeah, she does this whole scene. And I imagine she does this long scene. And it's like a tour de force and she's screaming. It's like Isabella Johnny in the subway tunnels in possession where she's just vomiting, white liquid and rolling around on the wet floors And she does that and then Billy Mitch may see he goes cut and then he just sends her from on he goes needs more And she has to do it again. What a what a sadist anyway, they leave she

She's screaming around she she screams and hoses her so off they get back in the car. Uh, the guy gives to Dario a massage and she makes over the top satisfaction. I'll have a cheesehead. I think Kate, etc. Kate, Kate, up in, in an attempt to, as a friend would, when in a romantic competition, in an attempt to drug her best friend with champagne with pills in it, she accidentally drugs the driver of the car, Badger, and he goes off the, they all follow. But I love you. Goes off the road and breaks the head.

There's, there's a better way to do this scene, but I love that. Oh, there's a better way to do every scene in the movie. I mean, I was hoping because they, you know, they cut to people in the car and they cut to him like getting drowsy behind the wheel. And I was really hoping it was going to cut over to her in the passenger side seat, like looking terrified but not wanting to say anything. But instead, she did the more terrible thing, which is just go to sleep. Like, who would do that? And that point is like, well, I'm going to usher myself off to Dreamland.

I will probably not be able to wake up because I'll have, I'll be crossing the river sticks. will probably not be able to wake up because I'll have, I'll be crossing the river sticks. She's like, you know what? I've accomplished everything I meant to in my life on this trip. And so now I leave myself in the arms of Morpheus to ferry me off to Charon and then Charon take me to the Elysian fields

because at this point, she's like, it's like, what's a movie where someone gracefully commit suicide, having finished their work on Earth? Is there one? Alien 3? Yeah, she's just like Sgoni Weaver hurling herself into the pit of fire. Anyway, they go back to it. They stop at a different hotel for the night because they can't get a car. It's too late. K-Dufton has a drink with Badger. So this is a moment where there's sex with William A. Trump.

William A. Trump. And they talked to the manager of the hotel and he, after they had all passed out in the car and they talked to the manager of the hotel and he's like, oh yeah, and there's a restaurant next door. It closes at 10. And at that point, I'm like, wait a minute. What fucking time do they fall asleep?

If they still have time to get dinner it is before 10. Yeah. I mean, it's on a long car ride you get drunk. I understand that. I'm a you know what? There's something about the motion of the car or the vibration of the seat underneath you and the warmth when you're inside a car for a long time. That takes us back to the womb. And so in that moment, we've reached that utter place of comfort where we cannot stay awake because we're like, okay, I'm back in the in the amniotic fluid. This is the safest and most complete I've ever been in my life before I was born. I'm going to catch some z-s. See you later. By the way, I drug your shes.

I prefer you not to practice pitches for car commercials. I'm like, that's true. Now, I'd like to do a car commercial where there's a car that's driving a little erratically and you go inside and everyone in it is asleep, but really comfortably. It's like, yeah, it's that comfortable. The new town in country. Now, this sex scene, though, that happens between D'Ar, the new town and country. Lay yourself there. Now, this sex scene though,

that happens between D'Aario and William H. Hunky, I gotta say, like other than the fact that D'Aario keeps all of her clothes on, I was sort of shocked by how, not explicit the sex scene was, but like it, you know, it went on for a while and they like ran through like all of the positions, basically, all the jokes that they could do during this sex scene.

I mean, and they are also it's a very vigorous. Yeah, I mean, it has none of the it has none of the graceful Langeur of say a cinematics soft core sex scene, which usually has a lot more light touching and rose. It was a little off putting because it began like the first moment that we realize that this guy's into her. He grabs her boob, which is a little fucked up. Come on, dude. That was his opening gambit was a boob. And then he said something like, I'm going to put my mouth on your mouth now or something,

or I'm going to kiss you on the mouth. But like he's already, it's already not asking consent, man, fuck that. But the, yeah, the sex scene, now I was watching, watching as I said watching this on a plane I I did not feel uncomfortable watching this on the plane. It was not that explicit my wife felt much worse While she was watching for getting Sarah Marshall and was reminded by the amount of yes, and she saw in the movie But yeah, I mean I feel like they they did their best to play it for goofs. We get we get to see shots of this guy's totally jacked bod. That's pretty awesome.

Oh, yeah, finally see what all that firefighting has been doing. Yeah. Anyway, the so they have she has she has sex with them and it's like, uh, the old Halloween chorus comes in. Call what's his name? Who does that song? Who's the guy? Leonard Cohen.

Musician who does that song. Yeah. Call Leonard Cohen because it's Hallu. He's like someone had sex and it changed. Handle. He's talking about hand. Get a handle on the phone. Dan, get used to it.

That's not the Hallelujah. Anyone thinks about it. Okay. Only the hallelujah anyone thinks about it. Oh, okay. Only the Leonard Cohen one. I like to believe Leonard Cohen when he saw the song, hallelujah, when he finished writing it, he went, fuck you, I have no, there's a new hallelujah. I will say I think watchman would have been a thousand times better if they use handles.

Yeah. Just the hallelujah chorus over it., at that point, at least it would have been like an over the top joke, which would have been funny. But was there ever a time when the hell you, the hell you, the course was not used ironically when it was like, people heard it, they were like, oh, yeah, this is an ecstatic, a shout of joy to God. Well, I mean, certainly not, not in a movie. I mean, I've, I've witnessed the hell of a course. I mean, I've witnessed the whole what's it called? The whole thing? I can't remember.

Chris, no later mouse. Oh boy. You know I'm talking about. Babies day out. I've witnessed the whole baby day out. And you know, it's a, you know, yeah, on its own, it's still a spiritual kind of experience. You're saying that it's more powerful when seen in say, either a church or an orchestral setting. Handles Messiah, handles Messiah. That was what I was trying to think. Yeah. Sorry. Handles the side. Oh, that's right. It's called the Messiah. That's right. Uh, anyway, that opens up a whole other can of worms. But anyway, we don't need to talk about Messiahs, but, uh, the, they find out, okay,

although William H. Hunky does have Christ like qualities in that he has a beard and long hair and women go gaga for him. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wish, now I kind of wish he'd been like, well, I'm a carpenter and then they just kind of started slowly layering in these different Jesus things about him. I mean, that's basically the bit from the 10, right? He's at the bar. That's basically that bit from the movie The 10

with Justin Theroux where he plays Jesus. Oh, I've never actually seen The 10. That's the one where it's each of the 10 commandments. Yeah, it's, let's say uneven. Okay. Okay. We can say that. Let's say that.

Some of it's good. Anyway, the next morning, Alexander Daro's in a great, she's feeling great. It's just like the scene in Thelma Louise, which I recommended in a previous episode where Gina Davis has just had sex with Brad Pitt. But also like that scene she finds out that Hunky has escaped after the sexual act.

Only he didn't steal her money as Gina Davis's money was stolen. He stole and badger's car, but he did leave a note. actual act. Only he didn't steal her money as Gina Davis's money was stolen. He stolen Badger's car, but he did leave a note. They often mentions that that guy was just a he was just some dumb guy with great eyes and a bent penis. And she goes, how did you know he had a bent penis? Uh oh, looks like they both slept. A big reveal. Yeah. Big reveal. And they he also took Badger's car Alexander Dariel and big reveals guys. I was surprised at how large the continental breakfast buffet was in this hotel It's not even the Sheridan and it's a huge breakfast buffet and yet they destroy it And this is the one scene in the movie I kind of liked where the two women are just wrecking this breakfast

But they're just wrecking a hotel lobby fighting with each other and it ends with a bookcase falling on them and I was like, you know what? This is getting like kind of three stoogeyzy in a way that's not not hellish the way the rest of the movie has been. Well, I mean like the way this movie could have worked is to actually like the fact that they're unlikable if they like really pumped up the unlikability to observe. Yes. Like dirty rotten scoundrels, yeah, I mean, like kind of, I mean, if it's a competition, except they're charming in dirty ones. Yeah. And controls like, you mean in more of a like, uh, well, I'm having trouble in more of a Larry

David's sour grapes type of ways. That what you're saying Dan, that movie like, like, directed by Larry David, like more of a, this means war sort of thing. No, not those examples. Like more of a war the roses type of movie. Yeah, actually. Ramer versus. Ramer could more of a more of a Kramer versus. Ramer type comedy. Yeah, Stuart has a good point. No, but a movie where the characters are hateful, but you're not supposed to. Exactly. And versus Jason. Yes. Yes.

I've noticed that the difference I had. So I'm not a huge fan of comedies where the hero is at Asshole. I do love Steve Cugins, Alan Partridge character who is an Asshole. And I think the difference is that you are never asked to like Alan Partridge. You feel pity for him at times because his life is so empty, but you're never supposed to like him as a person. And so it's like a bad person is funny if you're not supposed to like them. But if you're supposed to like them and they're bad, then you're like, no, this is terrible.

This is not fun. Yeah. That was one of the disconnects I had between the original British office and initially starting to watch the American version of the office because I feel like David Brent is so unlikable. I don't I think you never are supposed to like him at best feel pity for him and sympathize with him and Steve Karel's character. I don't think ever is I don't think they ever want you to like think he's that terrible, but he is also pretty terrible. No, I mean, he's that's why it... That's why when they gained their footing, it was making him a character who is bumbling more than he is.

Like petty, yeah. That like, yeah, David Brent's character is petty and narcissistic and they had to remove that stuff from Michael Scott. So that, oh, he's just like incompetent and he wants to be loved so much that he goes overboard. Whereas David Brent is like Gays Petty, he's a gotistical, very shamelessly overt with his atheism in a way that even turns off liberals.

Sure. Yeah. And his standup isn't that very good for some reason. I have to say, I went to, I saw him live years ago and he was so funny. Really? And he like, I think he just, it's not his stuff, he just doesn't have, he seems to have run out of juice, you know.

I don't know what it is. But I remember seeing him, I saw him live years ago when he was preparing for, I think his first big stand-up special. And it was just like a lot of fun to hear him talk about stuff, but it was a very loose show, you know. I mean, and stand-up works better live than it does recorded pretty much always. I disagree.

I prefer to watch it. I hate to see Santa live. I only like to see Santa through like a cheese cloth screen. And I want it to be on a phone that's 50 feet away from me. Yeah, yeah. I want lots of barriers between me and it. Anyway, back to the movie. They wreck the lobby and then they find out

that wedding that hunky guy had to go to was his wedding. Oh, sideways guys, we've got a sideways on our hands. Oh, man, break out the, what, Merlot? What the fuck is that shit? It's a meme from Ghostbusters hits the button. Oh, man, We got one. Real bad problem with the real bad logo ghost. Anyway, so cleaning up the town, they decide they're going to have to go clean enough the town.

They and Badger are going to drive all the, no, they leave Badger behind. They take a taxi cab, which is going to be, again, hella expensive to take this taxi. And they're able to talk their way free of the charges of destroying this hotel because they play on the hotel proprietors love over revenge. And they're going to go to this wedding and they're going to bust it up by revealing that he's a he's a liar and a unfaithful cheat. And they get there and they first break into the wrong wedding. In a bit that could have been kind of a funny joke, but all I kept thinking about was that poor groom who has to explain that he's never seen these.

I mean, yeah, I feel like if his bride is going to do that, it's going to call things off right away. She's already got to have suspicions like that is that relationship. That's true. Okay. already got to have suspicions. Like that is that relationship. It's on shaking grounds. Good point. It is what there is a thing that happens in movies and on TV where it's like, I love you. We've been in a relationship for a long time, but this stranger just told me something that doesn't square with your personality. And now I hate you. And it's like, wait, what? Hold on. Like if if a random woman that my wife had

never met before walked up to her and was like, I had an affair with your husband. I think at first she would be like, that doesn't sound like Elliot and she would ask me about it. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like you seem within my care. If your wife walked into the room and somebody was like bending over like adjusting their shoe strap, but it was behind like a counter, she wouldn't be like, oh my God, Elliot's

getting a blow job from this person. Well, now you're just indicted noises. And I cannot have that. Still. Or if I was giving CP archal woman who has clearly passed out, she wouldn't assume that I was making out with her. Because when you're making out with someone, they lie prone on their back with their. Yeah, and they pump their chest not responding in any way.

And you pump the chest. When you initially showed your interest in that person romantically, they did a bazooka Joe backflip and ended on their back. And of course, whereas I could say, no, honey, she choked. I'm giving her CPR. Instead, I will say something like, oh, we were rehearsing for a play because I have to come up with some kind of crazy excuse. Anyway, they go to the wedding and they're too late to stop it.

It already went through, but they find out because God loves dramatic justice and dramatic irony that the hunky guy has is now married to a total shrew. She is real bossy and like super demanding. So that's, and he's like, so that's a thing. He's like, I've been with her since, I've been with her since I was a kid and I've never had women like you. This was a guy's dream come true. Come on, you gotta let me have it.

And they're like, you know what? He's got a worse punishment store for him, marriage and they walk out, you know, snapping their fingers. So they they they meet his bride for a moment on one of the most stressful days of her life because clearly her husband is a fucking piece of shit. Yeah. And they think, oh wow, she's super controlling in shitty because she has to probably do everything.

Also, that she was, this guy was away from his fiancee days before their wedding for, he was away from her for two days and he took that opportunity to have sex with two different women. It's like, oh, this guy maybe is not such a great guy. He might be a piece of garbage. He almost didn't make it to the wedding.

Like, I don't know. I feel like them, I don't know. It's just, I mean, it raises the question for me. Where was he? Why was he, if it's like three days before his own wedding, why is he half a country away from his fiance? He was doing what everybody does right before their wedding.

You know, you wanna live one last time, so you go to visit all the sights in Seattle, they remind you of the show Frazier. Hahaha. Hahaha. I was gonna say earlier that my only, I've never been to Seattle, so my only thing to judge it by is Frazier.

And so when I saw the apartment, I was like, that's bigger than Frazier's apartment. And he's a famous radio personality. But this movie really ends with a, okay, it's not done yet because first Kate Upton goes to the jeweler's shop and she realizes he's the kind of guy that she wants and she gives him a kiss. She repeats a speech that he gave to her about precious and semi-precious stone because everyone's jobs as with D'Aario's teaching are only useful in that they provide metaphors you can use for your own life.

And then at the airport, the girls apologize to each other and they say they're both great. They both tell the other how great they are, which we know is not true because they're both jerks. They're total assholes. So Dan, if you're if you're going to use your job as a way to come up with a like a love or life metaphor, what do you say? I would say something about how everything that you love can become a source of bitterness in your life. No, that's great. Wow, that would play real well. I mean, I was expecting something like-

That's really related to the image. Yeah, like in my case, I'd be like, you know, as a bartender, people always come in and they always want to get the fanciest, most expensive drinks. Like, if people are drinking tequila, they always go for patron because it's flashy and expensive. But it's actually not that good at tequila. And there's much better less expensive tequila so you could buy.

I'm the less expensive tequila in this metaphor. Oh, I see. And here's the way I would do it. I would say, hey, I'm a writer. And you know, when you write that first draft, you're like, yeah, this is it. This is how it works. This is the best.

And you go back and you reread it and you're like, oh, you know what? This isn't as good as I remember it. Maybe I need a second draft. I'm that second draft. And maybe William H. Hunky was the first draft. You thought it was gonna be perfect, but it's time for the second draft of your life.

Me, the writer, who also owns a jewelry store, and now I'm going to be your far away boyfriend. Because here's how the movie ends. Dario goes back to work. Now she's confident. She's impressed when Demarrius shows up, the hero of the film returns. And for his report on Lord of the Flies, he's done his own manga adaptation of Lord of the Flies, which, unless the assignment was restate the plot of Lord of the Flies, he's done his own manga adaptation of Lord of the Flies, which unless the assignment was restate the plot of Lord of the Flies, then he has not accomplished the assignment, but she actually, and I love it when American artists just rip

off like manga styles. Like what does he think he is like Joe Madaria or something like this. Yeah, come on. Yeah. But that's, so not only is it an act of cultural appropriation, let's set that aside to Marius, but that he's, it's like, hey, I did a manga adaptation and she acts, I haven't seen her this excited about anything since William H. Hunky for a set down on the plane. She loves it. And she threatens the principal Rob Cordray somehow. Yeah, in a non-specific way.

And to keep Rob Cordray. Like Rob Cordray says, like, that sounds like a threat. And I'm like, she didn't say anything that sounds like a threat. I have no idea how she's like getting her job security. Like, nothing she says, like her confidence, like it would have made sense if she just came in and was like, you know what, I'm not gonna leave. Like, if you want me to leave, you gotta fire me,

but I'm staying on. Like, that would have made a little sense, but otherwise, I don't know what's going on in this scene at all. It feels like they literally cut out a paragraph in the script that would have explained everything and they're like, this movie's almost 90 minutes. It's 91 minutes.

We gotta keep it to a tight 90 minutes and like, I don't know. If you're gonna bring in my boy, Demarius. 90 minutes. It's 91 minutes. We got to keep it to a tight 90 minutes and like, and I mean, if you're going to bring in my boy, Demarius, then you should have had her seem like downcast or dejected before he shows up, but like she seems fine. Yeah. And then she sees the light of her life, Demarius, the one student that she has reached. Oh, yeah. Now, Dan, that makes sense. What you're saying makes sense that the movie like, it just, it doesn't make any sense what happened, but you know, it makes sense. But just a one more question, Dan.

I seem to believe that your favorite movie is called Stop Making Sense. So, excuse me if I'm just a little confused here but it seems like uh... you used to like it when things stopped making sense and now that this movie has stopped making sense suddenly you don't like it so i may be on wrong just if you could explain that to me i just have that one point i would inspect her but uh... i've got a very important charity fund phraser that i must go to i'm i'm the uh... keynote speaker of course tonight uh... that makes sense that makes sense. That makes sense.

You know, Mrs. Colombo, she's making a Parmesan chicken Parmesan too for dinner. So I should get back to that. Just one more question. Did you kill that guy? Yes. Oh, Jesus. I take him away, boys. He fell into my intricate trap.

There's a bit more Stallone in that Colombo than I see. Well, that was, well, that was Sylvester Stallone in Columbo the movie. Yeah, you got to make it bigger for the. No, no, well, that makes sense. That makes sense. So just one more thing. That's how we do it. Interesting cast.

Just one more question. One more question. So I just do we get to win this time? I actually, I would see that movie in a heartbeat. Columbo the movie starting Sylvester Stallone. And here's the thing I would see that movie in a heartbeat. Colombo, the movie, starting Sylvester Stallone, and here's the thing I would say, movie makers, don't make it an action movie. When you've cast Sylvester Stallone, you're like, oh, there should be like a car crash

or a gunfight or something. No, no, no. You just take a reg, you take an actual episode of Colombo, extend it to two hour lengths with extra scenes, cast Sylvester Stallone in it. And you know what? Use digital technology to insert him farest gump style into the original episode. I think that's great.

That I would see in an instant. I would pay $40 into it. Now, would that be called Stallone Bo or Calambo? It would be called Carambo. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, okay. So, and so we get to the,

that's Alexander Dardio's epilogue is, she's confident she keeps her job. Kate Upton is studying for, I guess, a business degree and she's telecommuting dating the jeweler guy. She's going to see him in a couple days. And the two friends go back to watching the bachelor together, the end of the layover. Yeah, I got to say, Elliot, now this is a line I think that you have used before and I stole from you, but I texted you to say that this is the least amount of movie that something can be that is legal in movie.

Because I don't remember saying that, but it sure sounds like me, but I probably stole it from Mystery Science Theatre. I mean, so little happens, it's just a fight between two women over this guy, and then at the end of the movie When they could break up the wedding they just kind of say like oh fuck it like we've traveled it all the way here The world's most expensive taxi cab and they're like you know what I don't have the energy I mean, I guess we learned a lesson. I mean you go from Seattle to St. Louis to Fort Likkerdale back to Seattle. I mean, what more can you ask me when he wanted a movie?

Dan, there are James Bond movies where he travels less than they do in this movie. And yet, you're right. So it feels like they shot the outline of a movie where they're like, the screenwriter was like, I'll fill in all this stuff later. And William H. Macy was like, no, no, it's good. We'll do it right now. And the writer was like, no, or more accurately, the writer was like, yes, and take my name off the finished video.

Yeah, this is a thing. I mean, Elliott knows that when we worked at the Daily Show, often if we didn't have time, like we work under very tight deadlines, and often we didn't have time with the first draft to put in a joke for something. And so we just put joke TK. And it feels like the whole screenplay was just joke TK, joke TK, joke TK. And they never went back and filled anything in.

I wonder if they were like, they're like, we're going to hire the best improvisers and they're going to do this movie. We couldn't get the best improvisers. We got Alexander D'Aario and Kate Uton and this other guy who looks kind of like Jesus hunky William H. Macy type. All right, well, I'm not gonna write anything for them. So let's just try it. And you think they were like, William, I know you keep offering to play the role, but we hired an actor to play the hunky guy. Like we cast a man who's more age appropriate

for these two, for these two actresses. And he's like, what do you, Alan gets to do it? Why don't I? Bum, bum, bum, bum. But the, it's like, it does feel like they, like if you told me this whole movie was improvised, I'd be like, oh, okay, it's not very good,

but I could see that. Like there's no jokes, there's not good, there's no memorable lines in it. And it seems kind of, some scenes just like Peter off, like they don't really have an ending. Yeah. Yeah. Let's speed through our final judgments whether this is a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie we kind of liked. I think it's pretty clear that I think it was a bad bad movie. There's a certain lightness to it. I mean like it it disappears. Yeah, because there's nothing. Yeah, it disappears

from your brain as you watch it. And so I didn't hate it the way I hate some movies. Although, from the way you talked about it, sounds like you kind of white knuckled it the whole time because you're like, why do they keep spending money? They don't have. That's true. There were several sources.

Why are they getting to the airport on time? Oh, yeah, they broke up that other person's wedding. That's horrible. Yeah, there are a lot of things. But it is, this is like, it's like the movie equivalent of when someone who is not a good bartender pours you a beer and it's nothing but foam. And you're like, oh, okay, I had to dig through like

three inches of foam to get to like just a tiny bit of beer. That's this movie, except there's no beer at the bottom. And you're in an alleyway and a hobo is throwing the paint shells. Oh, okay. That common thing. We've all been there. We've all been there.

Yeah, this is a bad, bad movie. All right. Bad, bad. So we should move on to our second pledge break. I mean, the first one wasn't really like a big pledge break. It was just kind of an informational. Dan, Dan, don't eat it. Just get to the pledge break.

We don't, we'll do the self-calulations afterwards. Okay. So listen, as we said before, the podcasts on the Max Fund Network are listener supported. And I don't know, we went over this last week. So I don't know how much we need to re-pitch. Okay, well one Dan that it was last week for us, but it will be two weeks in between for the listener. So let's get that straight to how

about let me let me so let me just really do this once a year. So yeah, it's possible that people don't remember that if you go to maximumfund.org slash donate, you can choose a monthly pledge amount to donate. You'll automatically donate the same amount per month from your credit card or however, or bank or whatever you set up for. Once you set it up once, you don't have to worry about setting it up again. It's that good. And you can choose the shows that you want the money to go to. So you don't have to worry, oh, is this just going to go to some faceless, maximum fun overlord who takes all the money. Well, his name

is Jesse Thorn. He has a face, but it's hidden under a very big beard. So I understand why you think he's faceless, but it is a nice guy, but he doesn't take all the money. The money goes, the vast majority of it to the shows. And it's super helpful to us. We talked in the last episode about how this money has really helped us to carve out extra time for the flop house and really keep it going that for some of us who don't have the most regular income at the moment,

it's a real boon and super helpful. But you don't just get the glowy feeling of contributing to making the lives of artists who's working like better, although you will do that. And every time you listen to a flop-pass episode, you'll be like, I contribute a little bit to that. Like, I feel good now. I should have no guilt over this. You'll have guilt over other things because we're all sinners. All of us, it's a fallen world that we live in. But that's besides the point, a suede some of that guilt by donating to maximum fun. Now, there are things that you get what I was going to say is you don't just get that

fuzzy feeling. You also get gifts, exclusive stuff that you only get for donating at different amounts. If you're a first time donor or an upgrading donor, you get access to some thank you gift. Even if you're already a donor, you can upgrade your You get access to some thank you gift. Even if you're already a donor, you can upgrade your amount to a little bit more per month. You'll never even notice it. Come on. Have one less big, big pretzel or something like that.

We've been meaning so much about your pretzel habit. We've been meaning so much about your pretzel habit. Anyway. Yeah. You've been having too many of those big pretzels. They're not that good. I don't like the way every weekend you're going out to the airport and anti-M's or whatever they're called. Anti-M's. Anti-M's. Okay.

Anti-M's. Anti-M is from the Wizard of Oz. I don't like how you're making anti-M from the Wizard of Oz. Bake you a pretzel every week. Yeah, she's not. She's already dealing with the fact that her niece, Dorothy has disappeared. Perhaps run away with Professor Marvel, the noted super killer, super serial killer and carnival. Do you think, do you think Peter Parker ever calls Aunt May, anti M because M is short for May? Oh, I think you probably did at some point, maybe.

So well, somebody write in and tell us that. So yeah, so anyway, big pretzels, stop going to Yankee Stadium just to get those big pretzels. Dan, tell them what they can get. So donor gifts, if you donate at the $5 per month level, you get exclusive bonus content. That's, there's hours and hours and hours of extra shows from all the podcast at max fun. The whole network. Yeah, including several hours of flop house content that you can't get if you're not a donor. It's behind the donor paywall. And we're in the middle of producing.

We should have the first one up now already, but we're putting out three, two hour-ish. I can't make that promise, but three episodes that are going up. Yeah, we don't we don't know right now. We're having some technical difficulties with one of the episodes, but it should be resolved. At the $10 per month level, you get an exclusive enamel pin designed by Megan Lynn Kot. Now, you may remember that there were enamel pins, I think two years ago, or was it last year? Last year. Last year. There were very beloved by listeners, and there's an all-new design featuring for us, Nicholas Cage.

So, you can pick that up for $10 a month. The Rage Encage and himself. And the first person who gets one of those pins, and then wears it while getting their picture taken with Nicholas Cage, will get one high five from me. Yeah. Well, listener has to pay to we'll get one high five from me. Yeah, well, let's not have to pay to fly Stewart out from high five, though. Yeah, of course. For.

That reminds me, do you guys remember, sorry, this is a stupid tale. Do you guys remember when the movie, the man who knew too little came out, and Bill Murray did a commercial where he said, if you see my movie, the man who knew too little, and you don't like it, I'll give you a refund. Just tell me in person,

and the commercial ended with him getting on a speedboat driving away with the implication being that you'll never find it. And that was, that was before Bill Murray started crashing every wedding or bar or whatever and inserting himself into people's lives. Anyway, Dan, so that's $5 a month, exclusive bonus content. $10 a month, that beautiful Nicholas Cage, flop house pin, don't tell Nicholas Cage, because he has probably legal rights over his likeness. Dan, what do you get at $20?

$20 per month, you get the Max Fun Family Cookbook. Now this is curated for you by all the Max Fun host, maybe not all of them, than ones who had enough time to send in information. But it includes a... Me, me, it was me. This book contains dozens of recipes from cocktails to desserts and everything in between

Elliott contributed a recipe to this. So if you want to hear how Elliott Caelin with a flop-ass eats, then this is your chance. Missily. I mean, they've heard about the Popeye's part, but now know what I cook at home. Dan mentioned that if you want to hear about it, that's incorrect. It's a book. So they want to hear about it, that's incorrect. It's a book. So they want to read about it. It's, I just want to make sure people know that it's not a magic book like Penny had and Inspector Gadget.

If you open it up, it's going to tell you out loud what was going on. You will have to read. So if you can't read, please do learn literacy as a gift that never stops giving. As John Adams once said, you're never alone with a poet in your pocket. Dan continue. What do you get at $35? At $35 per month, you get a one liter juice craft. Now, it's called a juice craft. You can put whatever liquid you want in there. I'm not going to tell on you. And it's, it's, it's, it's got the max fun logo on the side. And so for any beverage, you want

to display it. Which is a rocket. It's a cool looking logo. Yeah. If you want to display your beverage in style, then get this graph. Yeah. And you can tell people it's a rocket from Max Fun logo or that's the rocket logo from the space line of Legos that came out years ago. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Those were great.

There are other gifts at even higher levels. We're not really going to get into that right now. You can go to maximumfund.org slash donate to see the higher level gifts if you are a person of wealth who wants to really contribute to the podcast that you love. But yeah, those are the great gifts that you can get. I'm donating. Here's how you get them. Go to maximumfund.org slash donate. You're going to choose your membership level, how much a month you want to do.

You'll put in your credit card information, and then you're a member. And then select the shows that you want the money to go to. And then that's it. That's all you have to do. And so here's what I'm going to tell you. I think you should do it right now. If you're a, if you're a current member, going upgrade right now too. But if you're especially, if you're not a member, go do it right now. If you're a, if you're current member, go and upgrade right now too. But if you're especially, if you're not a member, go do it right now before you forget.

If you have to do it this weekend, when this episode comes out, because the drive is ending soon. And thanks again, guys. Don't put it off. Yeah, thanks again for listening. That's one of the most important things and thank you Stuart for reminding us that. Nope. Nope.

We love our listeners. I will. Nope. You got, Dan and Stuart feel very close to their listeners and they really love them and they feel a sense of like belonging and I think the satisfaction more than the satisfaction of material goods. Dan and Stuart from getting the attention of their listeners, they've get the satisfaction of having been heard and having been listened to and having had reached out and kind of touched and made contact with another human being and being a part of their life, even if Dan Stewart don't know that person, it enriches their lives to know that they have become a part of someone else's

life. And that's, they do this podcast and it really just, it helps them. It warms their heart to know that they are making that connection. Me, I'm in it for the bucks, bringing the money. All right, making paper. 10 years ago when Dan showed up in your apartment and said, Elliott, I'd like to talk to you about the flop house initiative. You were like, only if they pay me well. I said, Dan, two words, chatching question mark. And he's like, is chah a word? Is that I don't?

And I was like, well, it's a sound effect. It's on a monopia. Anyway, when can we start getting paid for this? And Dan said in about eight years, and I said, all right, that sounds good. So anyway, we do want to thank you so much for listening and for listening to this pledge commercial. You can show your appreciation in two ways by continuing to listen and also by upgrading your membership

or becoming a new member. All right. Moving on. Let's talk letters. Letters from listeners, listeners like you. So we've got a few great letters here. The first one. Dan said we had a few great letters. And I can't wait to hear these few great letters, but because he quantified how many great letters. And I can't wait to hear these few great letters, but because he quantified how many great letters there are, it leads me to believe that there's a few not-so-great letters. There's a few great letters and then a whole lot of not-great letters. So I'm saying this to our letter writers out there across the nation. Up your game! Get us some better letters because we've only got a few great letters and because everything can be better except your letters. They're already great. Thanks everybody.

Okay well Stuart took that opportunity to go pee so I guess we need to vamp a little bit while he completes his you know like the liquid leaves his bladder and goes to its final resting place. Hey everybody, I'll tell you a story about a dropper liquid that was inside stew. Where had it get in there? Your guess is as good as mine, probably in a beer or a glass of water. Now first that liquid went into the bowl. I'm glad that you didn't go with wine, which would have actually been a rhyme. I didn't know that it... Nothing. I don't with wine, which would have actually been a ride. Nothing.

I don't, but it wouldn't have been true. So the excuse me, you said that while interrupting the probably the one ride I'm going to have in the whole thing, it started by going into two words, mouth. And then that liquid said, Hey, I think I'll head down south, down through his throat, two is stomach until his intestines became the place that it went. And then of course, there's the bladder and the kidneys. I don't know which order the liquid went through, but it checked off all of its bucket list of on the inside of Stuart kidneys bladder, your rethra that out. Suddenly it was free, free of that prison, free of that jail called Stewart's body, the liquid was out and Stewart

would shout, Hey, I don't have to pee anymore. And the liquid would shout, Hey, thanks. I'm on my way. Just close the bathroom door. All right. So that killed a little time and Stewart's back. And everybody's worse off for having heard it. Where's the uh, when's the letter song gonna start? No, no, no. Uh, so this I, it's starting right now. That's right. It's a letter song triple feature. And this is the big one climactic song.

A big anthem stadium song that's gonna get your blood pumping, get you well jumping. Onto your feet. Let's jump to the beat of this Lettersong finale of the Lettersong Triple Feature! Three Lettersongs! Alright, I want to... Technically one of those songs was about Stuart P.A. And so here's the middle song that I didn't put in.

It was a song about Stuart P, which is not a letter song, but now we got our second song, but it's the third that you'll hear and the fourth overall. Guess we got a lot of songs today. All right, thanks. I apologize guys. I usually... Secret surprise, lit a song. Now there's a surprise, lit a song, sneak attack. Okay. I apologize.

See what I'm doing again is I'm the Kato to your Inspector Luzo and you never know when a song's gonna hit. Yeah. Uh, well thanks. It's keeping my instinct sharp. Uh, mm-hmm. I apologize guys.

I usually send you the questions ahead of time. I forgot to do it this morning. Usually it's an overstatement. I would say 75% of the time. Yeah. So, uh, apologies to the listeners. If we don't come up with great answers, because unlike normally, why are answers are really great? Yeah. Well, I really just spot on with citations and things like that.

Uh, this one's from Glenn Lastname withheld. Danzig. Or Glenda. Who writes recently I was watching Logan, which is a good great film. It's too old. It's too old. It's too old. It's too old. It's too old.

I think it was Glenda, isn't it? Wouldn't you think it'd be better if I was playing the role of Wolverine? Yours in love, Glenda, and SIX. Toward the end of the movie, there were a series of scenes where Logan keeps fainting. He must faint about five times in a row. Around the third or fourth time he fainted, I started to wonder how you guys would describe the sequence on an episode. So my question is this,

what genuinely great movies do you feel would suit a flop house episode? Are there any great movies that when you saw them, you thought that would make a great episode of the flop house because they were still a little bit ridiculous? Love your work and my favorite podcast, all the best, Glenn Lasting withheld.

So. Guys, I'm gonna pull back the curtain a little bit on the on the grim secret of movie complaining, which is you can make fun of any movie. What even good ones because people are jerks and they'll make fun of anything. There's a moment in the mystery science theater episode over drawn at the memory bank, which is a great episode. Rau Julia is in the movie where a character is watching Casablanca and Tom Servo makes fun of the opening title music of Casablanca. And in that moment, it was like a spell was broken over me and I was like, oh, wait a minute.

You can make fun of any movie. Oh, okay. And like making fun of movies was never quite as pure to me as in that moment. Yeah, I think that for me, if we weren't gonna do a bad movie, it would be a movie that I genuinely loved a lot and had a, I was kind of like a nerd about because I feel like that passion translates, you know? Like the things that you love the most

are the things that you can find fault with the most too. So something like a good Star Wars movie, I would have a lot of opinions about it. Star Wars Minute is based on that pretty much. Well, the fact that Star Wars Minute is a podcast I love and those guys are great. And I've enjoyed being on it when we're on it. But there is a part of me that's like, so you're showing your love of these characters in their world by ripping it apart minute by minute and like making fun of it minute by minute.

Like it's weird that we seem to live in a place right now where I guess nerds have always been like this. I feel like I have been where it's like you show your appreciation for something by enumerating its faults and talking about why it's not good. Well, which is... I mean, I think that's a way of like, I feel like the way people interact with media often

is like, how can I interact with this from a distance and think about it in like logical terms as opposed to, honestly, as like, as an intellectual, as opposed to on an emotional level. Yeah. It's easier to do that than to be like, no, I just love this thing because it makes me happy. I think, I mean, I think that there's a way of doing it that's not mean-spirited to like come like to with a laugh, acknowledge that something doesn't make sense in the movie that you like.

I don't remember whether we were talking about it before we started recording or it was during the thing, but I'm rewatching all of the Marvel movies as his steward. And he talked about it. They heard about it. Just like at the beginning of Avengers Avengers or like the middle of Avengers whenever like when Thor shows up, it's like hold on, you destroyed the Bifrost in the other movie and there was a big deal about how you couldn't get back to Earth to see Natalie Portman and

this was like this huge act of life. It seems like a crazy choice in the long run. Yeah. And then like Thor just comes back to Earth and it's never quite explained why. And like decisions like that I think are kind of fun to just, you know, it's like it's the same kind of like joy that you get like chatting about a movie with your friends. Like, you know, you can love a thing while coming up with like the inconsistencies and stuff.

That's very true. So I think what I would say is a league of their own. Okay. And I would, which is a movie that I think is a, it's a very good movie. And I'll watch it anytime it's on. But there's a lot of things in it that they're kind of goofy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like a movie that I think is actually great, like Prometheus would be super fun to talk about on the podcast. Yeah. There's a ton of dumb shit, but that doesn't make it any less. I don't think it makes it any less good of a movie. Yeah. All right. So moving on, this one is from Natalie last name withheld who writes

Portman. Wow. What a coincidence. Star of annihilation. The movie I just saw yesterday. This one says, at the time of me writing this, Quads Cinema is doing a retrospective of Al Pacino films. I saw Dick Tracy last Sunday and hope to see a few more films throughout the series. It ends on March 30th, so it's probably over by the time you read this letter. Anyway, there's one glaring emission from the series in my opinion.

Jack and Jill. After, say, Jack and Jill was a movie I kind of liked. I fond memories of watching Jack and Jill on TV with my mom one Sunday. It was probably the hardest we laughed while watching a movie together. Jim, believe fucking arm and white, rude, fucking letter to us. Ha ha ha ha. Anyway, Toy Story is terrible. Love Arm and Night. Anyway, Al Pacino plays himself and he's really going for it, despite it being an

Adam Sandler movie. It's a cash grab performance, but boy does he grab it. It's one of his who-ha performances, obviously. Should really bold out their performances and bad movies be included in film retrospectives? I think why not? It would definitely spice things up again. What not-so-prestigious, dare I think why not? It would definitely spice things up again. But what not so prestigious, dare I say bad movie, would you include an a similar,

a venerable film actor's retrospective or film director if you can't think of an actor? Thanks for the show. Okay, bye. Natalie Blasda with hell. And now, Natalie, I'm going to disagree a little bit and say that I think Al Pacino did not see Jack and Jill as a cash grab and instead was probably excited to do a comedy and to be able to play himself as a crazy person since he doesn't really get to do that that. I mean, since like what's the last Al Pacino comedy I can think of like sent of a woman maybe have there been any between that and Jack and Jill? Uh, yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. And I assume that what he's doing as a cash grab is his contract with HBO where seemingly he has to play every monster in recent American history because he's got the turno coming out. He did Phil Spector. He did Kavorkia. Yeah. Man, in that Puccino retrospective, I'd really like to watch any given Sunday again because

he's just fucking nuts in that thing. I think it, well, I think it's, if there's something that's different about the role that they're doing, I think it is worth putting something bad in that there, that it shows a different side of their performing. Like, if it's a retrospective of actors that are known for drama, you could throw that there one comedy, or if it's like...

I'd, one of the ones that comes to mind is strip tease is not a good movie, but I think Bert Reynolds is pretty fun in it. Like he's a pretty fun, gross creep. Yeah. That's a good pick. I'm having trouble. A Bert Reynolds, a Bert Reynolds retrospective would be kind of that could be kind of fun because you'd have like you'd have like like, uh, like strip tease, boogie nights and then like stroke or a,

sort of like hooper or like one of the, like, just to show his career went in such. Yet like, like, or sharkies machine, like that, his career went in like, a bunch of different directions. I, and I'm pretty excited about his new, uh, his new movie that's coming out directed by Adam Rifkin of invisible maniac fame. Oh, I don't know this. Yeah, it's called the invisible. It's called it's called the last movie star where he plays an aging movie star not unlike himself.

Huh. It's been getting good reviews. I'm having a hard time thinking of a good movie with an extravagant performance that I would like to, I'm sorry, a bad movie with an extravagant performance. That's good. That I want to see in a retrospective, although I know that there are some. What keeps coming to mind, even though it's not appropriate for this question, is for the inevitable, Chris Klein retrospective, I would like to see him in Street Fighter, the legend of Chun Lee, because his performance and that is so extravagant and crazy. Yeah, he's great.

Like people just need to watch that movie just for Chris Klein. He's the name. I feel like Rucker Hauer has, I mean, once again, he's put in a bunch of weird performances in their mingled with a total cash grab performances. You could have a really interesting Udoq here retrospective where it's like just and like and

all sorts of weird movies that he was in but also like some of the bigger name movies. Yeah, that would be great. If we're just playing the numbers like just based on how much work he does, I bet Eric Roberts has a great performance in a shitty film somewhere. Somewhere, I mean, most of what we've watched have been bad performances in shitty things, but I don't know. Yeah, he's great. Actually, that's, you know what,

if there is an Udo Keeer retrospective, I would make sure that I am curating for some reason. I would make sure to put in the forbidden room, which has, he's just in it, in the part where there's a spark song about a man who is so obsessed with butts, that he has to keep going to a surgeon to remove parts of his brain to try to remove the succession. And Udo Kier is that guy and it's a very weird, he has no lines of dialogue in it, but it's a very weird pantomime performance. Would you include in a great movie though, that's a great one.

Would you include end of days, the movie where he gets cuckolded by the devil? Sure, yeah. And Johnny Numanik, which I think he's only in one scene of, right? I mean, I think like there's a bunch of people learning only one scene of, I mean, I feel like that's part of making an Udo Kiyore retrospective

is that there's a lot of movies that he's in only one scene. Like we need a creepy European doctor or business man. Like you show all of grind house just for that one moment that he's in the cast in the trailer for that were all moving. Yeah. Yeah. So moving on.

This last letter is from a lot of last name with held and she writes, blazer, deer floppers. What happens when you see all the movies, books, other podcasts? Thanks Alana. Yeah, Dan, what are we going to do when we've watched all the movies? We're going to, this is a question we're gonna have to deal with at some point. What's the, we're gonna turn into a coffee review show. We're just different. That's right. Yeah, I love it. We're gonna, and this is gonna be hard for Elliot

because he's not really a big coffee fan, but. So I don't like coffee. Well, I'll be the guy who's that, so many podcasts have the one guy who's like, well, I don't like this. I don't like true crime. I'm the, I'm the Jimmy Kimmel to your Ben Stein, I guess. Yeah, yeah.

On when Ben Stein's money. I mean, I think I was like, I don't think this true crime story is interesting. I don't like these things. Why are we treating real people's lives that really suffered as if it was like a fictional movie that we can take frills from? Ooh, so real. That's my real problem with true crime podcasts. That were true crime of any type, but with a lot of true crime nonfiction,

like the writer is trying to figure out, like what does this crime mean? But I feel like with podcasts, they just tell the story and then at the end, they're like, maybe this is about, I don't know, we're obsessed with success. I don't know, and that's it. I mean, I think aren't we all I think aren't all forms of entertainment

Just playing to some fetish or another and true crimes just a little more obvious about it Maybe and but not as obvious as porn. That's the most obvious form of entertainment that plays No kidding, Elliot. Tell me more after the episode. Well Alana, I hope that answers your question about true crime. Well, luckily for us, we'll never see all the movies because there's to be the movie true crime. With Clint Eastwood. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I remember seeing them when it came out. Okay, question answered. It's a it's a it's a very serviceable kind of like true crime thriller. There's not much to it, really.

Yeah. Listen guys, just one more time, we need to come to you and say it's the max fund drive and ask you to donate at maximumfund.org. Flash donate, sorry. I mean, I'm sure you can find it if you just went to maximumfund.org. Flash donate, sorry. I mean, I'm sure you can find it if you just went to maximumfun.org, but it's easier to go to maximumfun.org. Just go to Google and put in maximumfun something,

and then see what comes up. Go to maximumfun.org slash donate, and pick how much you're gonna donate per month, pledge it, set it up, set it, and forget it. You'll just go on and we'll appreciate it every month and we'll say thank you very much. Yeah, just grip it and rip it. Look, monthly members.

Bag and tag it. Monthly memberships are how our show survives. I mean, that's... Grill it and spill it. That's the bottom line. It's sometimes hard to all get together and do these shows, not that we don't love each other and love doing it, but it can be a real fucking chore. Okay, occasionally.

And so having money come in really helps us stay enthusiastic about what we're doing. And on your part, you'll feel good because you know that you're helping us make this podcast that you love so much. I was being sarcastic, but I don't think Dan was being sarcastic. Well, I'm not going to say that you're helping us make this podcast that you love so much.

I was being sarcastic, but I don't think Dan was being sarcastic. Well, I'm the one, I'm the one who has to put the podcast online. So I do a lot of the grunt work associated with the podcast that's a little less fun than just broadcasting, but that's neither good. Yeah, but you're right, because I have all the fun of handling the accounts. That's true. Elliot also has not so fun. And I have the job of being the face man of the operation. Yeah.

No, Stuart handles a lot of our production stuff for us, for us, affiliated and associated products and things. We all play our part. Yeah. But it's our, especially our first steward, he actually is kind of the public face of the podcast since he's the one member of the podcast Rewk anybody in the world can just go up to him. They know where he's working. Yeah, it's true We already went through the pledge gifts. So I won't go into details I just want to say very quickly run through them again at five dollars per month

You get that exclusive bonus content. At $10 per month, you get the enamel pen designed by Megan Lincott, specified to each show. For $20 per month, you get that Max Fun Family cookbook. And for $35 per month, you get a one-liter juice craft with engraved with the Max Fun Rocket logo. And then there are higher levels of donations as well that you can find out about at maximumfun.org forward slash donate. I don't know if there's anything else to say about this right now. It's just that we appreciate your support very much. And thank you for listening. You know, listen, if you can't, if you genuinely can't afford it,

just thank you for listening. But those you can, you know, think about donating. Yeah, think about it. So think about it and then do it. Okay. Yeah, don't just think about it. Do it. Call to action. Think about something. So what do we do next? Hashtag thinking about it. Next up, we have the last segment of the show, where we get positive, and we recommend movies, to leave everybody with a sweet taste, rather than the bitter taste of the layer.

So I'll recommend a movie I saw recently, a movie that's still in theaters, or maybe it's not, by the time that five guys comes out, we're recording a little early for this one. But it's called the death of Stalin. And it's Armando Anucci who did the thick of it in England, that very funny television show. He did VEEP until very recently, when he handed over the reins to someone else, he did the movie and the loop.

recently when he handed over the reins to someone else. He did the movie and the loop. And it's a similar style of sort of fast-talking everyone's kind of denil and looking at for themselves a political story, but it's based on the true story of when Stalin died and the jockeying for power that happened after it. So it's got this, even though it's very funny, it also has this dark undercurrent because people are getting shot left and right during all of the power plays. And it's just, you know, it's got a great cast. It's very funny, as I said. And as far as I know, from what I've read, it's surprisingly accurate to history for this kind of movie. Yeah, because they all spoke English.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You mean like English, the official language of the Middle Ages or fantasy worlds? End ancient Rome. I haven't seen Death of the Stolen Yet. I want to see it. But it's currently the most

described movie by dudes to their Tinder dates I over here at the bar. Really? Yeah. Really? That's surprising. It's like the most like, I mean, you know, we cater to a pretty intellectual bro clientele. Well, go ahead and see it. I'm going to recommend a movie that I am I was like almost a hundred percent positive I would I'd already recommended, but according to the flop house recommends

a wiki, which is indispensable in this process, a website that's lovingly maintained by Ian Whitney, yet apparently I've not recommended it. so I'm going to do that now. I'm recommending a movie from 1989 called The Blood of Heroes. In the international release name was Salute of the Juggor. It's a movie about a post-apocalyptic sport where traveling bands, basically teams, go from village to village, and they play in a game That involves taking a dog skull and sticking it on us on a stick

And this movie was written and directed by David Webb peoples who wrote the screenplays for blade runner on forgiven All kinds of shit. And this is the only full-length movie he ever directed. And it stars Ruggor Howard, Joan Chen, Delroy Lindo, Vincent de Nafrio. And it's just this great, weird little movie. Yeah, it's, so if you're a fan of like, post-apocalyptic settings, or you just wanna see those actors

when they were a little bit younger, or you're into sports movies, you should check it out. And I'm gonna recommend a movie that hasn't been in theaters for over 60 years, unless it's been revivals, or I don't know. I'm gonna recommend a musical called, it's Always Fair Weather. This was, this is a Gene Kelly musical from the very end of like the big, big kind of MGM musical period.

This might have been the last one or it's one of the last ones. And it's what I'd call like a problem musical in a way because it's showing them really stretching the idea of what a musical can deal with. It's about, and in movies at least. It's these three guys who are best buddies in World War II and they say, hey, 10 years later we're going to meet 10 years from now, the worst is to end it. We're going to meet back up again and we'll just tell each other about our lives.

They meet up again 10 years later and they find that the three of them have nothing in common anymore. They're all kind of unsatisfied with their lives in various ways. And it's the movie then kind of loses, it loses way a little bit. There's a subplot about gangsters fixing a boxing match that never really quite works. I hate it when there's a set.

And there's a casino sequence in a movie. Well, there's no casino in this one, but it's similar to that. But the, there's no casino in this one, but it's similar to that. But there's a satire on television of the 50s, which is kind of funny, but it's because those shows don't exist the same way anymore. It just seems crazy. But there's a bunch of really good musical numbers in it.

Sid Sherees is in it, and she has one of her best numbers. It's one of the few ones I can think of that's a solo number for her, where she's in this boxing gym dancing with the boxers and it's called Baby You Knock Me Out. And it's a movie that has its ups and downs and rough patches, but there's a lot of fun moments in it and it's just really interesting seeing them being like,

okay, like three years ago, four years ago, they did, seeing in the rain. It's like, okay, that kind of accomplished what musicals can do. Now, Gene Kelly and Stanley Donan directed this to, they're like, let's see what kind of story we can tell using a musical. Can we do a story that's a little more downbeat and different? And like, they can't fully pull it off with that kind of form, but what they managed to get in it

is mostly really interesting and really good and the dance numbers are fantastic. So it's always fair weather, I'll recommend. Hey, before we go, let's take care of a little business that we forgot about last time. Some business. And that's that we have a couple of live shows with tickets on sale. On May the 26th, we will return to DC. We're going to be performing at the sixth than I, Historic Synagogue. And on June 30th.

So get ready guys, because there's going to be a lot of Talmud study that I'm going to be leading during the show. On June the 30th, we're in Seattle at the Neptune Theater. You can buy tickets for those at the events page on the Flophouse podcast website. One that I have events page on the flop house podcast website. One that I have not put on the website yet, I notice I will get to that as soon as possible. Is we also have a show in Brooklyn at our old home, the bellhouse.

And that is on the seventh of June. June 7th. So what are those dates again, May 26th? And what are we watching? And what are we watching for the DC show? Uh, Gio Storm is what we're watching. Okay. Fuck yeah. Yeah. For the Brooklyn show, we are watching the dark tower. That's on the 7th of June. So remember the remember the names of your fathers and buy a ticket. And no, it's the face of your father.. I don't fuck. And then for the saddle show on June 30th, we'll be watching the mummy. This is

what we have decided. Brendan Frazier's the mummy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Boris Carlisle off the top cruise one, the new failed attempts to do the dark universe that universe little really wanted to make happen. Oh, there's still try. I heard that the brighter Frankenstein movie is back, it has been revived. And so every year, I think universal will try to get this dark universe thing going. But I'm genuinely very curious to see that movie. I have no idea if it's going to be a salvageable. I hope the Russell Crowe gets to do an accent.

I hope Russell Crowe gets to do an accent. Right? I hope Russell Crowe gets to do an axel with an Australian. So buy those to if you're in Washington DC, come see us May 26th. If you're in New York, come see us June 7th. If you're in Seattle, come see us June 30th. Oh yeah. And thank you listeners for sticking with us through this very long episode a little longer because we're promoting the Max Fun Drive so hard. And we were talking about the labor. We were talking about the labor. A long time.

Dude, if you go to the, I don't know what champion did this, but if you go to the layover IMDB page, the plot summary is so fucking exhausted. It's basically the, it was our sprint. Yeah. I did it. I'm working on ways to streamline my plot summaries. There's just so much to pick apart in a movie on that.

Yeah. Okay. Well, guys, it's been great doing a show with you, but now it's time to sign off. Okay. So for the flop house, rather. Uh-huh. I've been Dan McLeod.

Oh, yeah. Dan still got it on Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliott Kaelin enjoying Dan's near perfect record of Flubs. Mix up some loops. See you later guys. Bye. Bye. All right. Some movie with no j- it's a comedyorkin style, baby. Okay, that's weird. All right. Oh, that was terrifying. Sorry, my phone fell over.

We thought you died for a second. I thought we had an unfriended situation. Yeah. I would love my unfriended two is not whatever it's about, which I'm sure is great. But I wish unfriended two is about like podcasters using Skype. All right. Don't worry guys. I saw I saw bright light ahead of me just now. and then I heard the voice of my grandfather And he said it's not your time yet. You have to stay on earth and talk about the layover Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture artist owned

Listener supported