The Flop House - Ep. #256 - Power Rangers
Episode Date: April 28, 2018Because they haven't gotten around to a gritty Saved by the Bell reboot, we discuss Power Rangers. Meanwhile, Elliott gives us the local news report, Stuart calls Elliott to task for the laziness of h...is impressions, and Dan inadvertently says the grossest thing that's ever been on the show. Wikipedia synopsis for Power Rangers Movies recommended in this episode You Were Never Really Here It Comes at Night Private Parts
Transcript
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On this episode we discuss Power Rangers.
Will we say Go Go Power Rangers or No No Power Rangers or OOOH Power Rangers?
Brought to you by Saban. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy.
Hey guys, I'm Stuart Wellington.
And Elliot Kaelin is over here in Los Angeles. Beautiful sunny L.A. Home of earthquakes and fires and landslides and we don't have water. You guys should move out here. It's real nice.
What's the, what's the weather like there? We're like right right now. Right now it's kind of a sunny low 70s. It is 9 30 in the morning.
So it's going to get a little warmer as the day goes on. And I was going to see a lot
of traffic on the five. So you may want to go around that if you're going to the beach
back to you, Dan. All right. Well, in sports stuff happened that I know nothing about.
I don't know why I chose sports. And turning to entertainment news, it's Stewart Wellington
on the red carpet beat. Stewart. Oh, hey guys, coming down this red carpet, we got all the stars of Sabon's
power Rangers. We got Sabon himself. Oh, he's smiling. Oh, he's kissing babies. Okay.
Now we got the red Ranger played by the guy from Billy from Stranger Things. Now,
the guy from Billy from Stranger Things, yeah, spin-off Billy from Stranger Things?
Yeah, yeah, it's like this harsh racist revenge story.
Now, that scene where Billy and that one kid's mom have a weird romantic moment.
That was Stuart's favorite scene in that whole series.
All right.
Because it was just weird and came out of nowhere.
Yeah, and it happened right before the end of the right, when everything else was
getting really serious.
Oh, man.
That's how you make a show.
Okay.
Back to you, Elliott, in the weather.
So it's a beautiful sunny day, low 70s, which is time 30 AM.
So it's getting a little warmer about the day.
A lot of traffic on the five.
You're going to want to avoid that if you're heading to the beach. And back to Dan with tragic news, Dan.
My life is in shambles.
Okay.
All right.
You didn't have to go that way.
Didn't have to go that way.
I didn't know where to go.
I like how I was going to make a joke about about your life.
And I was like, no, I'm going to let Dan choose his own adventure on this one.
I'm going to let him make a joke about anything in the universe. And I know. I do like in tragic news, Dan's like, no, I'm gonna let Dan choose his own adventure on this one. I'm gonna let him make a joke about anything in the universe.
And I do like in tragic news, Dan's like, how can I make this about me? I just went
with the first thing that came to my mind, which of course was about me. Well, Dan
stares into the mirror that's placed directly opposite of him. Yeah. The mirror that gets
older while Dan stays young. Uh-huh. Yeah. What it gets
like tarnished around the edges. Yeah. That breaks. Dan, now this is not an L.A. local news podcast.
What is this podcast? And what do we do on it? This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie,
and then we talk about it. What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's always takes you by surprise.
So that's always takes you by surprise. And this week, we watched Power Rangers or Stuart pointed out, it's actually Saban's Power
Rangers.
Yeah, so if you guys, if you guys are on the Amazon, just looking to watch this movie,
which is streaming on Amazon Prime for free right now.
If you run the Super Prime membership. So if you're search su- If you run a su- Yeah. Yeah.
So if you're searchin power
rangers, it probably won't show up.
You have to search
sub-bond's power rangers.
So you got to look-
The search function works.
You got to look under the S category.
Not the P category.
Yeah, it's the producer of power
rangers.
Hi, I'm Saban, who is an incredibly rich man,
who has his name literally on a hospital in Los Angeles.
I guess I wanted to make sure his company's name
was in the title, but you could just call it Power Rangers.
That's okay, everybody.
Is it also a differentiated from the earlier Power Rangers movie
from what, like the 90s?
What did that movie come out?
It's a differentiated
from Blumhouse's Truth or Dare. Yeah, sure. It's a differentiated from that Power Rangers
movie from the 70s about the the girl who goes on a trip to Europe and has neurotic awakening.
Oh dear. Okay. That's what the TV show is based on. And they changed a lot to make it
about five teens who become superheroes and rip off Voltron to fight giant monsters in deserts.
Yeah, it feels like, it feels like the 70s were really enlightened time. Elliot, can you tell us
more about the 70s and cinema? Well, the 70s was a great time in cinema, bad time for humanity,
otherwise. Okay. Anyway, but let's move on to Power Rangers, shall we? Now, wait, Kenneth, before we start, now,
I have no history.
Dan, don't worry, I know us.
We're not in danger of starting anytime soon.
I have no history with Power Rangers.
Now, am I correct in thinking?
Well, wait, wait, pump the brakes, guys.
Are you, you're talking about Power Rangers still though, right?
I don't know.
I'm working on Power Rangers.
No, I have, I have no history with that.
So, yeah, when I said, so when I said,
let's talk about power rangers and you said,
wait, before we start, you were then gonna do the exact thing
I was going to do, which is say,
I didn't watch power rangers as a kid.
Okay, well, this is like, you know what this is?
This is, if I was about to burp
and you put your hands on my mouth and said,
hold on, hold on, hold on, before you do that.
And then you burped.
All right.
Well, sure.
I'm sorry.
Well, then we both talk about how we have no history with Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
But am I correct in thinking that the show was made up in part of repurposed stuff from
a Japanese program?
Is that correct?
I believe so, yeah.
There was a series of Japanese shows that they shot new, they used the
same like superhero monster footage. And then they shot new outside the costume footage.
Or I guess the scenes where they're like in their headquarters and they're just wearing
the costumes without the masks. It was definitely a, it was not a show that sprung a whole cloth
from the brilliant mind of Hayam Saban. It was a, it was sprung a whole cloth from the brilliant mind of high-em-subon.
It was very much a taking something that existed already.
But there's a rich history of that.
Transformers is just taking a Japanese toy line and making a show around it and stuff
like that.
And let's not forget the Lion King stole a lot from what Kimba, the White Lion, or whatever
it's called.
And let's not forget that the movie Pearl Harbor was based on a thing the Japanese did.
Okay, well.
There's a rich history of American movies
taking from Japanese sources.
Yeah, but usually they don't take the actual footage,
is what I'm saying.
But here they,
It's not like you stole it, like you licensed it.
Is that like an American studio taking
all of the lone wolf and cub movies
and cutting it together to just make one big movie
called Show Can Assassin? Well, that's a little different. the lone wolf and cub movies and cutting it together to just make one big movie called
show, Kinesassen.
Well, that's a little different.
That's the kind of thing that like a company like Sandy Frank productions would do where
they would take either a series of Japanese films or a television series and edit it together
into a feature that didn't make any sense.
Here it was like we're going to be like, my Holland drive.
Yeah, exactly like, well, kind of, well, I mean, my home drive wasn't a series.
It was like a pilot that got expanded.
So it's, it's in some ways, it's the exact opposite.
It's the addition of footage
rather than the subtraction of footage.
Are you with me?
Okay, yeah.
I can hear me knocking and I think I'm coming in.
Okay, somehow, somehow Elliot made math exciting.
Mm-hmm.
The new math.
But no, yeah, power engines, I was like just a little too old
for whereas Ninja Turtles, I was all over.
That was entirely my whole life.
And then I was just a little too old for Power Rangers.
And I remember watching an episode or two
and being like, okay, like I'm too big for this.
I'm a big boy now.
I don't have any interest in watching this.
It's dumb to me.
And so it was weird watching and I'll,
I just want to skip ahead to one thing is that there's a reference later in the movie and watching this, it's dumb to me. And so it was weird watching, and I'll,
I just wanna skip ahead to one thing is that
there's a reference later in the movie
to a character who doesn't appear in the film,
but I guess it's a popular character from the TV show,
and there's just a tease of them.
And it's like, oh, this is how America felt
when Thanos showed up at the end of the Avengers movie,
where they were like, what?
Whereas I was like, I can't believe it, Thanos,
when I was watching Power Rangers, I'm like, what, let me look up this name because I assume it's a reference to something or else
why use it? So Power Rangers, I guess we should just say I'm assuming none of us have like
a sentimental affection for mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
Well, I, you know, I was too old for it, but it was also on television. So I would, like,
it was on television around the time I would get home from high school. Sure. So I would, like, it was on television around the time
I would get home from high school.
And I'd be like, well, I'll watch whatever the fuck's on TV
because I'm a dummy.
And so, yeah, I mean, it would be on TV quite a bit.
I don't remember much about it.
I do remember there was an episode with like an evil,
what is it, a Plinkco machine or a chink?
Some kind of thing that they were all very familiar with,
all the teens who are very familiar with,
they're like, oh, one of these things,
and I'm like, what is this from another planet?
What is going on?
It is, and the other planet was Japan.
Yeah, well, so that was cool.
I remember that, kind of. Clearly, as I so that was cool. I remember that kind of.
Clearly, as I don't even remember the name of the game,
I don't remember it that well.
Yeah, but I do remember there is,
isn't there a, well, we can talk about this later,
we can talk about later, it's not.
Okay, well, but it's, so there are probably
some people listening who are in the right age group
where they're like power rangers.
Oh, yeah, the Billy, the red, whatever,
and Mickey, the black, whatever like power rangers. Oh yeah, the Billy, the red, whatever. And Mickey, the black range, whatever is clearly range. There's like, there's like, you know,
jeepy and group. Oh, and all the, all the great characters. I have no, I find usually
when like, there is a certain age group where when you're talking about your first like
celebrity or on screen crush, there's a certain age of fellow who says, oh, Kimberly, the pink ranger, no doubt. Yeah. I heard that. So I think that's
definitely an age like signifier. And whereas most, whereas guys my age went straight from
Chitara to Terry Hatcher in lowest and clock, the new adventures. That's your nerd, uh, nerd crush, huh? Cheetahro?
I'm gonna say.
Uh, no, I was gonna say that this is a, this is an attempt to
adultify the power rangers a little bit.
This is, uh, I would say it's not your daddy's power rangers.
Fuck yeah, it isn't.
So we open on a burning point in it.
But I think I want to point out you see a power
range of being dragged in the mud. How how how like the tensions between those two things between how
dumb the mighty more from Power Rangers are and how dark they want to make it are in that the
vein villain is still named Rita Rapolsa, which is hilarious name for like intergalactic, you know, demon woman.
And that, even not just the repulsive part,
but that her name is Rita.
It's something that is just very funny
where you're like, so is that?
Or so they all, they're like brutally kills people
in this movie.
Oh, yeah, she does.
But also just the fact that it's like, okay,
and she looks like fucking wishers.
I asked your dude.
But the alien villain is named Rita, which is the name of a meter made.
It's really great in that opening scene that I'm sure in the pitch meeting was like,
Hey, if you guys seen, it's hard to be a god.
Now, imagine it's power rangers instead.
You guys like Val Halla rises, right?
What was power ranger rising?
Okay. So we begin planet earth and right off the bat this movie is lying like crazy because it says
Cenozoic era and then we see some Taranodons flying through the sky. Uh, excuse me. That's a mesozoic life form
That there and what they're showing us is a it's actually the dawn of the Cenozoic era, which it should have said because aliens and power armor are fighting a losing battle against some big bad monster. We later find out is Rita.
And they leave behind some power crystals and alien Brian cramston in the one scene where he has to cover himself up with latex.
His name is Ardon. He's like, oh no, I failed Rita. You betrayed us. He does this all in a
made up language. That is so great when he's like blah blah blah Rita blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Yeah, it's like go chakong krakla, Rita. I can't get you. Johnny. And this is also where we become
where it becomes very clear that Amazon Prime props its movies weird because half of the subtitles were off the screen for me.
Oh, I did not have that problem. You didn't have that problem. Me neither. All right. That sounds like a user error.
I don't think so. I've tried to figure it out. Did you find it up where you like go to settings? Okay. Let me change the screen to be unwatchable. Okay. Now play moving.
That's called motion smoothing. Let me put it on. Can't read. Don't read setting. Okay. And Dan.
Okay. So Dan, you're a little late to jump on this fucking anti motion smoothing bandwagon. Now
that your boy Ryan Johnson, ruiner of Star Wars. First, first? Actually, Daniel, there was such a big hate for motion smoothing that now the backlash
has hit in and motion smoothing is cool again.
Yeah, do you think all those Star Wars dudes are mad about last Jedi or like, oh, well,
if Ryan Johnson doesn't like it, I guess motion smoothing is cool now.
Maybe yeah, they love motion smmoothing now and they hate patting
to do. The other thing, Ryan Johnson tweets about. Interesting. Okay. So what a wild new world
we live in. Yeah. I don't know why I make fun of Ryan Johnson. I like that guy. Anyway,
so Zardon, the only way to stop Rita is to call down a meteor strike, which kills the
dinosaurs. Again, it's the end of the Mesozoic era.
We're not in the Sanizzoic area at movie.
This really bothered.
At that point, I was like, at that point, I was like, that's how the dinosaurs died.
Yeah.
It was just to stop Rita repulsed it.
She falls into the ocean to the bottom of the sea, never to be seen again, or is she?
Cut to millions of years later as
some teens are leaving a cow in the enemy school's locker room as a prank.
There's of course the inevitable joke in a kids movie about someone masturbating the cow
thinking it was a girl cow milking it and actually they were just jacking off a bowl
cow because guys ever since Bill Clinton signs the jokes I find hilarious act.
And the eye was not me. The eye was President Bill Clinton,
which insisted that any movie that involves a bull must include a joke about someone mistaking
it for a cow and yanking on its single utter penis until sperm shuts out.
And the person thinks it's milk and I assume guzzles it down.
Well, yeah, we're putting it on cereal or something, right?
Yeah, exactly.
Or in your hair because you think hair products came out of a cow.
Or like you sit on a date with Ben Stiller.
Or he's in some kind of like French creamy like sauce or something.
Yeah, and like a mean rich guy is like, feed it to me now.
Mmm, delicious.
And the audience knows what he ate, but he doesn't know.
And they're like, I think we should tell this guy.
I think he might kind of rethink a lot of his life.
Yeah, get me my clear-ish gel-like yogurt right now.
Oh, it's not very much.
Just one spoonful, but okay.
Oh, this is interesting.
Very different.
I'd like this again next time.
And the like cool guy asshole winks at the camera.
He's like, oh, I think that we've got unlimited supply.
And then you zoom into his testicles
and you see his testicles going, amp up production guys.
We got a new customer out there.
Wait, is that guy a cow?
Is he like some kind of like a cool,
cool, cool, cool, cool cow?
Cool cow, where he's saying. The sunglasses. He's like a cow from like a cool-headed Minotaur? Cool cow, where he's saying.
He's like a cow from like a Sandra Boynton book
who's got sunglasses and sames or something like that.
He's like the cow that the cow from the skinny cow box
kind of wants to date, but you know,
is a little too nervous to ask out.
Oh yeah, because he's so intimidating, but really?
He wants affection the most and that cool exterior
is just a wall he puts up in his room. It's a heart of being afraid of being heard again. Yeah, it's just a wall. He puts up
And it's afraid of being heard again. Yeah, it's a real cool as ice scenarios
So anyway
Because this is a movie that is it's a really sense you're not your daddy's power Rangers
We're gonna have jokes about bulls berm. Yeah, this one. So they get but the police catch them
They get into a CGI
driver's POV car crash. I will say hardcore Henry. I will say I So they get, but the police catch them, they get into a CGI drivers,
POV car crash.
I will say hardcore Henry, I will say I kind of like this opening sequence.
Like it was, I mean, it was way more style.
I mean, other than of course the hilarious joke because I was laughing too hard to
pay attention to the dialogue.
The joke about Jacking off the ball.
I don't know if that was clear.
Was that clear?
It's clear.
It's done.
But I liked, I mean, there was way more style to it than I expected.
Oh, yeah.
Let me just tell you one thing.
This movie was, and I might be skipping final judgments ahead spoiler alert, not as
bad as I thought it was going to be.
Did I have very low standards for it?
Yes. But I found it to be a much more serviceable, kind of like superhero story than I thought it was going to be. Did I have very low standards for it? Yes, but I found
it to be a much more serviceable kind of like superhero story than I thought it was,
aside from the masturbating the cow joke, which I don't, again, that's tack stuff. Thank
you, President Bill Clinton, another terrible thing you did in office. But he was like,
he's like, I love sperm. I think it's funny. The sperm will never be my come-up-ins. I
don't ever ironically lead to my possible downfall.
That's a good joke, that's a good pun.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's not a pun.
Oh, come-up-ins, I didn't even see.
Yeah, by the way, LA, that is probably the laziest
Bill Clinton impression I've ever heard.
No, this is the laziest thing I've ever heard.
You didn't even check it.
This is, I'm Bill Clinton.
Yeah.
This is, I'm Bill Clinton. Yeah.
What about like, it's semi, President of William,
Guillermo Clinton.
I mean, I don't know if that's lazy,
so much is just misguided.
Okay.
Yeah.
And slightly racist.
Okay.
So the leader of this group, the Leonardo, if you will, he gets caught.
Three weeks later, we find out this kid, Jason Scott, a huge football star at the school. He has
his own display case at the school he goes to just for him with his jersey in it because he's
been daified in life like a pharaoh. He didn't write out the other kids because even though he stole a cow
and tortured this cow by bringing it to this other school's locker room and having his friend molested.
He didn't even though he's already a cowherter.
He didn't write out his friends because he's noble and now he's under house arrest.
He wears an ankle bracelet and he's got to go to detention.
Uh oh.
You know what that means?
Time for him to be go from being a star to
being one of the misfits. And I don't mean the bands, the misfits. I mean, like the outcasts
of the school. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a, it's a, like a set up for like a breakfast club type
situation, right? Exactly. Now, and we're introduced to his dad who looks like his older brother
played by Roy from the office. Oh, that's who it was. Yeah. And he was in some other thing recently too that I saw. But uh, all he and all Roy
is given to do is just galower on behind a beard. Uh huh. And just kind of like he doesn't like
anybody. And he's a fisherman. He works hard. He thought his son was going to ride a football
scholarship to the NFL and pay for that house he's always wanted. So he's pretty unhappy about it. Do we got? Okay. So do we guys? Do we like Jason Scott, the hero of the movie?
Interesting. I mean, like by the end of the movie, you're at this point.
At this point, let's say, I mean, he's pretty handsome.
Dan, what about Dan, your thoughts? Yeah. I mean, I'm predisposed as a lifelong nerd to dislike jokes who think it's hilarious
to bring cows into places.
That's fair.
But luckily, I think they're going to introduce some characters pretty quickly that you
might identify with more.
Yeah.
And that character is a bully character who shows up. There's a bully show show
show who looks like what's his name for he has he has the same kind of feel about him as
from the what's his name from salute your shorts who was also Eddie from a friend in Terminator 2.
Yeah Bobby but Nick who like I think that's the that's the like main guy in Sleet your shorts, right?
I don't know I don't think so. Oh anyway Oh, anyway, so this bully is messing with this nerd, Billy.
Billy, as he tells us later, is on the spectrum,
which it's a weird thing.
How much he's on the spectrum seems to change
from scene to scene.
He's like, I don't really know how to relate to people.
I don't get jokes.
And then he's cracking jokes through the whole movie.
And he's the first one to form a deep emotional connection with the other characters.
So they were trying, but they failed here.
Anyway, Jason stops this bully and Billy's the, and Billy, he stops the bully, not Billy.
He stops the bully from bullying Billy.
He never stops the bully is not with Billy.
He never stops Billy.
He can't stop Billy.
And so he saves Billy and Billy's like, hey, you know what, I can help you with that ankle bracelet
And he takes him to his house. Uh-oh in the curfew for when he's supposed to get home. Why did they why do they time it like that?
I guess for
To dispense and he builds a he builds a
Homemade Faraday cage and uses a computer to hack into the bracelet
Anclet so Jason could just walk around wherever and Billy says in return
I want you to drive me
to an abandoned gold mine in my own car.
Yeah.
Because this is one of those towns
where it is both a seaside harbor town
with a fishing industry and also a gold mine.
And I don't know enough about gold mining.
When I think gold mining, I think sure there are rivers
and streams that you can pan for golden.
Usually it's like out in the desert somewhere where you can have a big deposit of gold.
Somebody, some listener who knows geology and mineralogy, might it and tell me if it's possible
for an ocean, like a coastal harbor town to also have a vein of gold?
The only, anytime you have a harbor town that also happens to have a deep reserve of gold, that town is clearly cast down their Christian idols and it begun worshipping
DeGon. That's a problem. That's just not a cool thing to do. I thought yours could
say that that town is clearly duck bird, which has every type of place in it.
Yeah, well, angel grove, the town much Duckburg, is resource rich, both gold and fish.
And as we'll find out, alien power coins.
So anyway, I forgot earlier, Zardon, before as he was dying, he threw some power crystals
into the ground and was like, find them, be selective, find the right, you know, whatever's
because the people don't exist yet.
So he can't say find the right people.
But anyway, Jason is wandering around.
Yeah, do you think that those coins are just going to find like, like Denver, the last dinosaur
or something?
We can only, that would be the crossover we're not ready for.
Okay.
Buddy Morphin, Brown Rangers, Denver, the last time.
So throw the rescue Rangers in there.
Two kinds of Rangers in one movie.
Yeah, we're Ranger Rich, which is different.
Yeah, Ranger Rich shows up. Ranger Rick, the Rekoon mascot.
Let's not forget, uh, stranger Ranger who teaches kids about stranger danger.
Mm-hmm.
So, stranger Ranger, the stranger danger Ranger.
Yeah, so Billy wants to go to this quarry.
A Ben and Goldmine.
Because he's, it's not a quarry, it's a mine.
Right. But quarry. It's a mine
Quarry is an open pit a mine. You got to dig a tunnel. All right, but apparently he what he wants to do is just blow up more of this mine
Like yeah, he's getting there's something he and his dad he keeps on bad his dad
He used to go find things in there. I guess they're like they're like
Freagans but for mines, you know, which I guess is stealing, but that he wants to blow up part of the mind to uncover something. Meanwhile,
Jason is watering around the woods next to this mine because the mining
operation has in no way affected the local environment or water sources,
which leads me to believe this movie is really propaganda from the mining
industry. Yeah, that they're like, look how clean the river next to
mine is a woman could swim in it because Jason stumbles on Kimberly stripping down to her skivvy's
to go swimming in the creek.
Kimberly is a cheerleader.
Yeah.
We've seen her.
She's also in detention.
She did something really mean to her friend and then in an act of, wait, has she cut her
hair yet?
Yeah, she does.
Like, she's going through a psychological change, you know,
she's going through a hard time.
So the symbol of that, of course,
is always chopping your hair off.
Yeah, you have to like strip off the old flesh.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And she doesn't like shave her head.
She doesn't even cut it into a bob.
She just has a sensible, short haircut,
but everyone reacts like, she's,
uh oh, she's a punk man. Yeah, her dad like her dad loses his shit
Which is weird because like why would he care that? I don't know well the hair symbolizes his hopes for her
He had a cheerleading scholarship to go into major league cheerleading so she can find that house. He's always wanted
Yeah, cheerleading is a notoriously not lucrative
She's leading a notoriously not lucrative pursuit.
Well, I am reading this into the movie, to be fair, he didn't say that.
Let's not criticize him for something I made up.
So Jason finds Kimberly the soon to be pink ranger
and she does this back boiler alert.
I thought she was a random team.
She does a backflip into the water
and midway through, like right before this process happens, she turns into some kind of CGI creation.
Because this is very clearly a special effect.
And also that creek is in no way deep enough for someone to dive into it. That's crazy.
It seems weird that they, like that seems like an unnecessary effect shot, right?
If you are supervising this production, you'd be like, no, just
have a jump in water normally.
Okay.
Like, rather than do the same thing and, uh, didn't they do the same thing with Hallibary
and swordfish?
Was it operation and swordfish?
Yeah, opera.
Yeah, there's some Hallibary movie I think it is where there's a very obvious CGI dive.
It's like, it's hard to dive.
Look, they could, it's not like
the only time you should hire a diver. The only time you should do an obvious special effect dive
is if an alien chess bursher is going to burst out of your chess midway through the fall,
and you're diving into a giant thing and molten stuff. Yeah. When did that happen? Was that
something that happened to you? Yeah, that happened to me because Lance Hendrix had to show it up and he was like,
no, I want that thing and I'm like, no, that thing is mine.
And then I jumped into some magma.
Oh, wow. That was really dangerous.
Anyway, Jason sees her and there's also another guy who's just hanging around the mind
for reasons unexplained. He just seems to like to go there to think we don't learn much about him.
I thought he was stalking, uh, he was stalking the other, the other girl.
I think they both just happened to be around there a lot. This line is where all the teens go to
like angst out and brewed like Batman, but they don't, they never see each other. It must be huge.
They never run into each other. Yeah. It's kind of like the windies in my home too. And another girl, right, there's like the other girl too,
there who we never learn all that much about
as a character throughout the movie.
Why was she a little bit?
We learn about her later on.
She's like doing yoga while listening
to melodic death metal.
Oh yeah.
That's right.
So okay.
So all our protagonists are here. So our
character, our protagonist are assembled. The Avengers have assembled, when
this case, the power rangers to be Billy sets off this explosion and reveals
like a spaceship or something made out of glass with these little power
jewels inside. And the mystery guy just starts breaking away at them. And they
take them. Uh oh, they are. I do like the day they make a point of having each person grab one like they both see
a guy breaking this like glass barrier and they each kid takes it upon themselves to grab
their own coin.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know.
I would if I I want one of those, those are crazy.
It's like a crazy glowing coin inside of a giant glass wall.
Yeah, you don't want to be the only person without a coin.
Exactly, because then you can't play the claw machine.
What if one of them, they're like,
they all show up again, they're like,
we have these amazing powers because these coins,
and one of them was like, I bought something with like,
I have this gumball now.
I got it, I got. So I went to a real, there was one of those little plastic toy dispensers and I wanted like
this little rubber ninja, but instead I got this necklace with a dollar sign on it,
which I didn't really want.
So do one of you guys want it?
What about your power coin?
I don't know.
I guess it's just in there still.
I got this.
Let's go get it. Homey now. Yeah.
I got this, I got this silvery like sticker that I'm going to stick on something and it's never
going to come off and my parents are going to get really mad. But they go, well, let's go get that
coin back. We'll break open the machine and they go just as the truck that collects the money from
the machines is driving away. They're like, oh, okay. So me in like hack and sack, New
Jersey, some guy who owns a like vending machine company finds this power coin and becomes
the last power ranger. It's 14s and one like middle aged guy probably as mob connections.
Uh huh. Probably. If not, he, he played an extra in an episode of the sopranos. I love,
of course. Yeah. I love how the the vent those vending machines still exist,
because the margins can't be that great,
and you're not making that much money off of it anyway.
Well, I don't know the old way that it used to be.
I don't know the way it does it now.
In the old days, the mob would force you to have one.
Oh, really?
But now I don't think that's the way it is anymore.
Now it's just built on the backs of kids
Irritating their parents to the point of wasting good quarters on some piece of junk They'll probably lose before they get home. Yeah, everybody. I'm a dad. I'm here to tell you
Elliot's like how dare you take my harder into quarters that I was just gonna put in a bowl somewhere in my house and forget about
Forget about forever
So anyway, there's a police car chase and the car there and gets hit by a train.
Meanwhile, there's a storm at sea.
Jason's dad is a fisherman and they pull up a mummy that with glowing eyes from the
bottom of the ocean.
Uh oh.
I do like that they stick the mummy in the in the bottom of the boat and they it seems
like they just keep going back to work. Oh, yeah, they got a, they got a, you know, the profit margins
on that are pretty small too, you know, this, but money collection is catch. What? The
profits on mummy collection are, are, well, the problem is you invest so much with the hopes
of finding one mummy. And you would think like, you would think that a mummy under the water Would be like super soggy and loose, but this one's like stiff as an old boot, you know
Yeah, it should be hard since that since the main thing you want for mummification is dry
So that it takes the moisture out
Yeah, you would think that being at the bottom of the sea would fight the mummification process
Here's the thing about being a mummy finder. Mm-hmm. you find, that just pays for the equipment you get when you're a mummy
finder. It's the second mummy where you start making a profit. It's like when you join the DGA.
Yeah, you get in the black at that point. Then you can move on. Exactly. It's like when you
join, the first, your first job as a director is just to pay for your dues to join the director's
guild so you can be a director. It's the second job that really makes the money. So with the mummy, it's the same thing. So you don't make
any real mummy money until the second mummy. So just take long time to find a mummy.
You can pour a lot of money into that mummy business.
Now, I think we should probably save all of our mummy riffs for our upcoming live show
in Seattle where we're reviewing the movie The Mummy.
That's a good point. That's a very good. So we, well, we table this conversation
for the whole. This isn't the, this isn't the mighty mummy power rangers. That's a good
point. Yeah. Okay. So Jason wakes up in bed. All the kids do. And they're miraculously
healed from this car accident. They don't even remember getting home. And they all are super
strong and super tough. They're just breaking things left and right with their fists Uh-huh, and guys
This is definitely a metaphor for like puberty, right?
I don't know about that. Were you able to survive car crashes and crush things with your hands?
I mean, that's what a metaphor is about, dude
You're saying I just like when spider-man accidentally squirts out web juice and you're like, I know what that means spider man.
He's like, I thought it was a cow. It's a bull.
Yeah.
So yeah, so squirts out web juice.
That's what it's called, right?
You're the, you've written spider man comics before.
Yeah, that's true.
Web in the, in the mighty Marvel rule book style guide.
They say never refer to it as any other web juice.
Yeah, Spider-Man yells out,
feel the wrath of my web juice.
Yeah, also his danger sensing spider sense could be called his,
think a link of what's that?
It's like, all right, I guess he'll call it that.
It's pretty silly, I don't know.
So they go back to the mind.
They've got to investigate.
They find the mystery guy, his name is Zach,
and that other girl, the girl who is meditating
while listening to death metal.
Trini?
I don't remember.
And she sees them and goes, huh?
And she runs and clots, she scrambles right up
a rock face.
And now we get the first of many scenes in the movie
that are them exploring their powers in each other
set to kind of pump up or emo rock songs.
Is they every, you have to see every single one climb up
that hill and then jump over a deep gorge
while music plays.
And there's so many music cues.
I was like, was this suicide squad?
They're just hurling pop songs at us one after
another. Explain. Yeah, Dan, what's going on there? I mean, this is a four quadrant movie.
And one of the quadrants is emo metal people. Okay. It's emo metal people, babies,
sentars, and cows, and bulls. Yeah.
uh, centars and cows that and bulls. Yeah. Uh, so the, I, I have a note here that, that just mentions that, uh, while I was watching, I felt like that a lot of the movie felt like
the 1979 video from smashing pumpkins, but with superpowers, like a bunch of unhappy teens
wandering around just doing whatever, but they've superpowers now. I do like, uh, I do
like when Jason jumps over, when they all like take turns jumping over
the gorge and they're all like freaking out about it.
When Jason lands and falls on himself, he's like spitting out blood.
Like I think he bleeds more from that than anything else in the movie, but you know, that's
when I knew this is not my daddy's power range.
Yeah. Oh range. Yeah.
Oh, no, yeah.
But Billy, he doesn't make the jump and he falls down into a big pool of water.
They all jump in the water and find that they glow different colors in the water.
And then they find a hidden air pocket.
And inside that is a spaceship, people.
Guys, and this is when I realized we just don't get enough like thinking man sci-fi anymore.
You know, like a nice hard sci-fi.
The real-life relationship.
Thanks for powering us.
Yeah, this is what, if you're like, oh, this must be what it's like
if they make a movie out of a Stephen Baxter novel.
This real hard sci-fi, SF, you know, and they find, this is where this goofy,
this alpha-5, the goofy saucerer headed robot walks out voiced by Bill Hader and my reaction was literally like oh
I forgot about this fucking saucer headed robot
Every let's call him the orko of the show. Okay, every one of these kids shows has or the snarf
Every show has like the comic relief sidekick where you, you're like, if these people are the greatest heroes
in the universe, why do they have this
bumbling and competent sidekick?
And in Power Rangers, it's Alpha 5,
who considering he's been waiting at the bottom
of a gorge for 65 million years,
his name is in English acronym.
He has an acronym for Alpha,
and Alpha is a Greek letter.
So of course, he knows languages,
even though he's been under water for all the time.
But also he's just like loves cracking jokes
and making wise.
Yeah.
He's the character.
What kind of robot is this?
He's the character that feels like they were created
just so that years after the property had come out,
people would be making deviant art pictures
of the characters holding that character's dead body.
Like, I'm sure of you, Google Power Rangers holding a dead alpha five.
There's tons of art.
It's almost like, it's almost like they were like, you know what, in the future, we're
going to, we're going to want to do like a gritty reboot of this series.
Let's give ourselves a problem character that will make it a little bit harder to get that serious.
Well, a goofy alien robot. I have to say though, Bill Hader tries his best. Everyone in this movie seems to be trying their best.
It's that maybe Brian Cranston who I think is kind of like whatever. But anyway, except for that first scene where he looks like he is really in anguish as he, as you said, is dragged through the mud on the bird. Uh, alpha wakes up the spirit of Zordan, where Zardon, which was it?
It's Zardon, uh, who is now in the ship's matrix, which he just sees face all glowy and
he's, he looks like one of those.
He drinks into a wall.
Yeah.
Well, he looks like one of those like pen things that you get at like a Spencer's gifts.
Oh, so when you're like hanging around your dorm room and you're all high and you like,
yeah, try putting it on different parts of your body.
Exactly.
Where it's all pins, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's what he looks like.
And he, his, he tells them,
oh, your power rangers now,
which means you have to protect the Earth's zero crystal,
which is what makes life possible.
Okay, he's just revolutionized religion and science
right there.
And he also says, being a power ranger,
you have to be brave and you can't tell anybody.
And it was one thing that was like,
why can't they tell anybody?
Wouldn't it make it a lot easier to protect the earth
if they could tell people?
And also, like, why?
Why is this a secret?
I don't understand.
What happens if they tell people
do they lose their power coin or something?
Yeah, and do they get, is it break is like he's like first rule of power
ranger club. You don't talk about power ranger club. Second rule of power ranger club.
Please don't make fun of alpha five. He's very sensitive. Yeah, do you think
their rule of power ranger club don't lose that power coin? I love that he identified
a Gremlin. I love that he revolutionized the way we look at life in general by talking about
these ZEO crystals. But then he's also explained that if there's one constant in the universe,
it's that other people get jealous of superpowers. Yeah. I could believe it more if there was
a scene where like, Rita strikes out at their families and they're like, oh, we've got
to protect our identities. That can't happen again. But instead, he's just like, you can't
tell anybody,
which is, I don't know that it's a good lesson
to young people, to have them show teens
finding like a hidden vehicle of some kind.
And inside that vehicle is a weird old man
who tells them, don't tell anybody
about what's happening here.
That's not a good message, guys.
Let's just say that.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay, anyway, they learn about Rita
Rapolsa. She used to be an evil ranger and she turned on everybody. They have 11 days
to stop her. And Zordon says that that Jay and they're all like, we can't do this blah,
blah, blah. And Zordon says to Jason, you were born to be the leader. And the implication
is you're the white man. You're you're you're supposed to be the leader and the implication is you're the white man, you're supposed to be the leader
of this group. You got to convince them to be power rangers and the problem is they all have
complicated home lives. Zach, his mom is really sick and they live in a trailer and that's why he
goes and hangs out with the mind. Trini, she's gay and her family doesn't really approve of that,
so that's not good. Which is fairly like it's like they don't suggest it in one line and then sort of skipped over.
And well, I mean, what do you want to?
I mean, that was the warmest color scene.
Yeah, I feel like they wanted the credit of freaking like including a lesbian character,
but like just it just like, oh, and by the way, here's one line.
I mean, she doesn't even like say it expressly. Like it's just kind of implied.
I would say, I give them credit
for not having a lesbian character.
We're being a lesbian is not what defines her.
What defines her is that she's a total jerk to everybody.
Yeah, all right.
And then she's got a cool hair like Laura
from Street Fighter.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, they've all got their, their home lives.
And so, yeah, meanwhile Rita has has awoken from her mummy state.
It is going around killing people for their gold
to build a monster called gold dark.
She's like stealing people's gold teeth,
which means it's gonna take a long time
to build this monster.
If there wasn't already a leprechaun reboot,
I would in the works, I would argue Cast Elizabeth Banks is the fucking leprechaun
Yeah, she's amazing. She's had a lot of fun playing this character Elizabeth Banks is the breakout
I say this as she always a huge movie career
She's the breakout star of this movie like though. I was like I am enjoying reader of pulses antics
Far more than I thought I would because Elizabeth Banks
totally Comm commits to everything
she's doing in it.
And she does every villainess move that you can imagine,
aside from her character never tries to do sing anybody,
which I thought was also a kind of a step forward in that.
She doesn't use her sexuality as a weapon.
She's just like really mean and nasty.
And like, she's just like really mean and nasty and like she, uh,
she's just like really chewing into it the way that when you see someone play
Captain Hook in like a play in the theater production, they can really like
dive into this Captain Hook character and for Christopher Walken. He didn't do it
right, but when when people are like, look, Captain Hook has no interior life.
He's just a dumb villain who's really goofy. I'm just gonna play that to the hill.
Like, she does that with Rita Rapolsa
and it's pretty fantastic.
Yeah, and it's fun to see her.
I mean, like, people, I mean, we know Elizabeth Banks
primarily from comic roles.
And there's like, obviously a level of camp
to what she's doing because she's playing a character
named Rita Rapolsa, but she's also.
Who is it?
A million year old power mummy
who is stealing people's gold to make a gold monster, but she's also doing it like
Kind of straight to like even though she's playing she's playing if this character was
Existed in like a horror movie. Yeah, I would say yeah, she is not she is like a serious horror movie like the leprechaun
But like she's not winking at the audience, she's playing this character
enjoying what the character would enjoy.
Yeah. Which is, she's like,
if you're gonna see this movie,
just to see her basically.
But, she's like, I love the idea that Elizabeth Banks
like her, Elizabeth Banks like, wow.
I directed Pitch Perfect 2, which made a ton of money,
and I kind of broke new ground by being a female director
who made a directed movie that made a ton of money and I kind of broke new ground by being a female director who made a director, the movie that made a ton of money and even beat out Mad Max
Fury Road in the box office.
What am I going to do next?
Rita Rapolsa.
Yay.
I mean, let's look, let's just say Elizabeth Banks doesn't half as anything.
I haven't seen anything she's been in where she didn't give 110%.
So let's say you know know what, Elizabeth Banks?
You can bank on her.
Okay.
You can take that.
I'm glad you can take that.
You can take that.
You can take that.
You can take that.
Pause for applause on that.
I don't want to look.
I don't want to take too much credit for being an ally,
but I think with my bank's puns, that's what I'm doing.
Banksy?
Step aside, because there's a new bank in town, Elizabeth Banksy.
I would say the hardest thing about doing this podcast over Skype long distance is that
we can't hoist Elliot on our shoulders for making those great comments.
Yeah.
Actually, I should mention that Elizabeth Banksy is Banksy, which is the one thing I don't
like about her is that maybe you call it art, I call it vandalism, Elizabeth Banksy.
So let's just,
not let's look at it so crazy with it.
Elliot's like, those corporations paid for those things.
Why would you dare to face those buildings?
I mean, there is a part of me that's like,
someone owns that build, that was my problem.
I don't remember I've talked about it with exit
through the gift shop,
where there's a certain craft and artistry
to what Banksy does,
whether I always agree with the individual works or where he's placed them.
And then they had all these other graffiti artists, where it's like, this guy's a real
artist.
He draws his little alien character all over public buildings.
It's like, dude, that's stupid looking.
And you're just, you're just a graffiti guy.
That's just vandalism.
That's not.
Well, it's like, come on.
It was like when, when Christo's gates were in Central Park and somebody like tagged
one of them and the news was doing like man on the street interviews with people about
like is that right?
Is it okay?
And there was at least one nut sack who was like, well, you know, it's just another type
of expression graffiti artist.
And I'm like, no, it isn't.
Taggers are fucking assholes.
I thought you were going to say it's like when Christos gates was in Central Park and Christo expression graffiti artist and I'm like no it isn't. Taggers are fucking assholes.
I thought you were gonna say it's like when Christo's
Gates was in Central Park and Christo tagged in the park
by putting all those gates up.
Yeah, that's like Christo, I don't need your gates on my
park. Did you guys see the gates when they were up?
I did.
It was nice.
It was nice. I liked it.
I really liked it a lot.
I feel like Christo is an artist who it's very easy to
dismiss because his stuff sounds stupid and also one of his giant umbrellas killed a lot. I feel like Christo is an artist who it's very easy to dismiss because his stuff
sound stupid and also one of his giant umbrellas killed a man. But aside from that, but once you actually
experience it, like his stuff is really moving. It was a really great, Mazzle's brother documentary,
a short one called The Valley, Christo's Valley Curtain. That's about, Christo did this thing where
there was just a valley between two high peaks.
And he just made an enormous curtain, like multiple tons worth of fabric curtain.
Oh wow.
And he stretched across it.
And it sounds really stupid.
And it cost a lot of money.
But then you watch the movie and it's like the effort that went into it and the impact
it had on the community was with.
It was at a community that like doesn't have a lot of huge public artworks.
And at the end you have these people who, know are not just they, when are they going
to see something like that again. And they were like, yeah, this is really amazing. It's
really beautiful. And I was like, oh, I have a new appreciation for Christo's work. And
the gates are really liked. I mean, I'm a big fan that he did a big piece of public art
that's just a reference to the gate and gate to. That's what it was. Yeah. He wanted
to put in the monsters from the gate
movies, but they like we don't have the budget for that. It would be too beautiful, too
perfect. We can't afford it. Anyway, so so Brian Cranston gets to say the greatest line
in the history of his career better than anything you said in Breaking Better Malcolm
Middle where he says to the teens, have any of you morphed before? And it's like the movie is so,
you're like the name of the title movies is just Power Rangers.
And they're like,
why does it have to be called Morphin?
Because they keep talking about how the Morphin Matrix
isn't working.
We gotta learn how to morph, but we can't morph.
We're not morphin.
Why aren't we morphin?
And it's so funny.
It's like, it's just such a dumb piece of terminology
that there's stuck with on the old show.
And you wish that they just changed the name,
but they gotta do it.
Cause you know all these guys who grew up with the power
engines would be like, uh, why couldn't they call it morphing?
That's what it is.
Let's just call it morphing.
And why would there so many women in the movie?
And why would you change it to infinity stones
when it should be infinity gems?
Yeah, uh, that one does bother me a little bit, but doesn't really bother me.
It bothers me in the way that seeing Dan with the beard that he has now for the first
time, I was like, wait, what?
Oh, okay.
I see all of Ellie its weaknesses and a lot of call him out.
Yeah.
No.
I'm wearing a very silly beard right now for the listeners.
I mean, it's not really a beard.
It's one of those mutton chops that connects to a mustache.
Well, we'll take a picture and post it online, sure.
Any that little soul patch underneath.
Yeah.
I'm mid-shape and I just decided to have a little goofy fun
with my shaving.
Wait, wait, this is just a temporary thing.
I thought this was a permanent lifestyle choice, Dan.
Yeah, I'm also gonna get a chopper and start,
oh, cool.
I'll tear it up.
Okay.
Yeah, you're gonna put admantium on your skeleton
so you have unbreakable bones.
Yeah, maybe somebody will do a series of memes
of you fighting with your son.
I don't know what those, yeah, that's a good thing is.
Yeah, suddenly, that was one of those memes
that came up that, what is that,
is that American chopper?
Yeah. It's a different one. I like that came up that, what is that, is that American Chopper?
It's a different one.
I like, couldn't remember what shows from what was like,
is this a thing that just happened recently?
Or is this an old thing?
Because suddenly, everyone's doing this meme,
and it's not like I didn't hear in the news
that the father killed his son on American Chopper.
But anyway, they have a lot of team building exercise training
without their armor. They do a lot of team building exercise training without their armor.
They do a lot of hologram fighting with simulacrum of Rita's rock soldiers. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and they get shown they have these monster vehicles called swords that look kind of like animal-shaped vehicles.
They look kind of like dinosaurs and Zach because he's kind of a crazy guy. He's going,
I'm crazy. I'm crazy. Yeah, I'm crazy. He takes his forest spin and he gets into an argument with
Jason. Billy steps in between them and his armor appears when he breaks up the fight. He started
more thing. For some reason, this makes Zardon really mad and he kicks them out.
started more thing. For some reason, this makes Zardon really mad and he kicks them out. The thing, Billy manages to do the thing that Zardon's been trying,
harranging them to do. And when they finally, it's like kind of when a guy, I guess,
like a guy thinks he was a high school basketball player and he wants his son to be a pro basketball
player. And he ruins his son's life and forcing him to play basketball. And his son finally makes
it and becomes a star basketball player.
And now the dad hates him because he accomplished the goal
that the dad could never accomplish.
Like it's a real McCauley-Calkin and his dad relationship
that we have going on between Jason and Zardon.
Anyway.
In a home alone?
No, not in a home alone in real life.
Oh, okay.
All the other characters keep being like,
how did you morph?
How did you morph?
What did you do to morph?
And, you know, it's pretty clear to the viewer
what's going on that the care that Billy took
for his friends is what caused him to morph.
But these idiots can't correct the code.
They're like, did you say a magic word?
Like, were you're big toe and you're little toe crossed?
Like, how did you do it?
Like, well, what was the thing?
Are you wearing your underpants backwards?
Like, how did you morph?
What's the secret?
What do you have in your pockets?
Do you have any charms in there?
Now guys, I gotta admit something.
This was around the time of the movie when I'd had a couple
of drinks and it was pretty late and I was kind of
all in the sleep.
Sorry.
Now, you pulled a Dan and it's fine.
Okay, well, you pulled a in, thinking Dan was a cow,
and then he could milk him.
But in fact, Dan was a bull and he shouldn't have pulled him.
I mean, maybe I should have, who knows?
Dan seemed to enjoy it.
That's true.
Good point, I'm not judging.
So, Jason confronts Zordon and it's like,
you just wanted to use the morphing matrix
to come back to life and Zordon's like
I'm the only one who can stop Rita and Jason's like you didn't stop her before and the audience is like
Meanwhile Rita finally realizes she should stop trying to build a giant monster out of
Individual gold feelings torn out of the mouths of homeless men and goes to a jewelry store where she eats a ton of gold
And what's amazing is she walks in looking like a crazy person.
And the person of the jewelry store is like,
there's like, can help you.
And she's like, gold, and starts eating the gold.
And the woman of the jewelry counter is like, okay, ma'am,
like what are you, like,
she's like, it's okay if you eat now,
but you're gonna have to settle up at the end.
So I'm just gonna keep it to Allie. And but it's like, it's okay if you eat now, but you're gonna have to settle up at the end. So I'm just gonna keep it to Allie.
But it's like, you have to wonder
how many crazy customers are coming into the Angel Groove
jewelry store that this woman is like,
this is kind of weird, but it's not so weird
that I'm going to say anything or object to her,
eating all the gold from the case.
It's also, Angel Groove seems to be kind of like
a working class town.
It's based around a fishery.
How do they have this amazingly well equipped jewelry store?
Like what's that?
I know most towns have jewelry stores, but they're usually not this, if this is the size
of like a Beverly Hills Rudeo drive jewelry store.
It's true.
There's a pretty up do.
Explain the economy of angel grove.
I don't, uh, uh, mind dude.
Yeah, that's true.
Oh, you're saying to get cards.
Gold is so cheap there.
Yeah. Okay, make sense true. Oh, you see the get gold is so cheap there. Yeah.
Yeah, that makes it throw it away. The all those all those dwarves from the old
country that worked with gold inside the mountains. So came to America and settled
in Angel Grove. And so there's a rich mythical gold crafting. How does he there?
Yeah, the nibbling. Yeah, when they emigrated from Germany, I guess one when Hitler came to
power, they all settled in angel grove. Yeah, they had pockets burst in with a rhinegold.
Said and rolls, old pretzels. Was this around the time the security guard showed up and
just started blasting Rita with a shotgun? Yes. And it was like, yeah, this is
some fucking rough justice in that town,
man, just because you're a crazy person eating gold,
you get blessed.
Well, she did eat a lot of gold.
She does that, but it is crazy.
This guy just starts, it's like the guy came in and was like,
the employee here is really under reacting to her eating
all that gold.
I'm gonna overreact and just begin firing at her.
But luckily,
I'm glad that his like side arm is a fucking pump action. Yeah,react and just begin firing at her, but luckily, I'm glad that his side arm is a fucking pump action too.
Yeah, also he's firing a shotgun at her,
like which is crazy.
He's like, I gotta,
we're in a place with a lot of valuables.
I'm gonna use the scatteriest thing possible.
Yeah, and also standing behind the person I'm aiming at
is the innocent employee.
I'll just use the weapon that's most likely to kill them both.
I mean, she knew what she was signing up for when she took that job at a jewelry store.
It's similar to the samurai of old when they would have a, have a funeral ceremony,
but because once they go to war, it's, they are as good as dead.
They have already given their life.
Yeah, they're either coming back triumphant or on their shields.
Yes. Now, I mean, I guess it's not samurai who'd come back on their shields, but you know what
I'm talking about. I do know. So, uh, so Rita though makes a rock monster and the rock
monster, I assume kills the police officer. Uh, so the Rangers, meanwhile, they bond
with each other around the campfire and they kind of open up about who they are as people.
And I'll admit this
This scene affected me much more than it should have it felt for a for a
Pot-frey stupid kind of like faux gritty reboot of a dumb kids show
Who was like okay? I feel like these like these teens are actually are like making friends in a way that they never thought they could before like on a
Deeper level and I'm a total sucker for any movie where the message is that you are only as strong
as your connections with other people.
There's the scene in Spider-Man 2 that makes me cry every time after he's saved that subway
train carful of people from Dr. Octopus.
And he is just, he is wiped out, he is exhausted, he's all tuckered out, and he's going to
fall into the harbor
and there's the shot of his chest emblem
as one after another, the hands of the commuters,
grab him and pull him in.
And that scene always seems so beautiful to me
or it's like he's a superhero,
but even superheroes need other people.
Like, you can't save yourself,
you can only be saved by another.
And so this scene really grabs something
that's a particular emotional trigger for me. And I wonder so if you guys all found it dumb or found anything real in it or not.
I mean, I don't want to skip ahead to final judgments, but all the stuff about them like being like
teens and like discovering their powers and sort of just relating as people, I kind of liked, I liked that stuff.
So I mean, I didn't really get emotionally involved
in this scene in particular, I don't think,
but I was kind of falling, I was in and out
of a dream state at that point.
Okay, that's fair, because usually I think
when the movie, as much as I am a big sucker for,
hey, our power is built on our friendship,
this movie hits that message over the head so many times.
That by the end of it, I was like,
movie, just shut up.
I don't wanna hear it anymore.
There's a, by the end of it, we'll get to it,
but they basically do their version of the scene
at the end of Toy Story 3,
where all the toys are holding hands
as inevitable death waits to swallow them up. And that scene when it happens in Toy Story 3 where all the toys are holding hands as inevitable death waits to swallow
them up. And that scene when it happens in Toy Story 3, I was crying. These are characters
I grew up with. I've been watching them for decades. Whereas in Power Rangers, I was
like, oh, like get over it, Power Rangers. We get it, your friends. Anyway, which reminds
me, have you guys ever seen the video of this guy made a version of Toy Story 3 where they're being, they're
conveyor belts taking them towards the fire and then it just goes to the credits.
Yeah.
He shows that, and he shows that to his family.
And his mother is like, what?
That's it.
That's the ending.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Look it up on YouTube, I guess, guys.
Oh, I look it up.
I guess Toy Story 3 said ending watch. But there's a, it's like, there guess, guys. Oh, I look it up, I guess Toy Story 3 sad ending watch.
But there's a, it's like, there's a scene, it's, it's made up for all those two girls
one cut reaction videos.
I had to watch it work once where I was like, I can't see people be subjected to this
anymore, but this one's pretty fun.
I mean, I feel like that's a valid human resource complaint that you had to watch those.
Oh, I'll never forget the day when I was a intern at the daily show.
And they said, we need that we need a scene from a gay porn where they're
talking before they start having sex, go through all these gay porn videos and
find that. And I'm just watching man on man action for a couple hours at work.
And it was like, Oh, that's right.
porn movies don't usually have those scenes.
Like, like a lot of these were just two guys in army uniforms
walking into a room and having sex with each other.
There was no story.
Then I had to, I had to,
I had to, I had to,
so, this is a post office.
I mean, it's for you as the viewer
to sort of supply the story.
You're like, okay, well, I guess these are two army men
who, they're unleaped, they don't have much time,
but before they're next to...
Exactly.
Exactly.
Oh, this pornographic film is like a high coup.
I have to read my meaning into the very basic structure
I'm given, just the barest outlines.
Anyway, but we'll get to that.
So they all meet and they bond, and and repulsive visits Kimberly at night and says, I'll let
you live.
If you give me the crystal, Kimberly again, who is the cheerleader?
She explains to Jason that she's a vet.
I thought she went after, I thought she went after Trini.
She also goes after Trini.
Okay.
She goes to both of them.
Oh, you know what?
Or maybe I got the mixed up.
That's possible.
I think it's just good to Trini.
Oh, they're both brunette women.
I thought she went to Kimberly.
She comes, she comes to the Rangers later
and she's got like claw marks all over.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And so Kimberly goes to Jason and says,
I'm a bad person.
My best friend sent me a sexy picture of herself
and then I sent it to my boyfriend
and then it got all over school.
And he's like, hey, you gotta forgive yourself. You're not a bad person. And it's like, well,
what she did was pretty bad. Like I buy into the idea of redemption, but what she did was pretty terrible.
And so, well, so, well, I don't know. It's like, is there does, does saving the world for reader
opulsar makeup for her, I guess, revenge porn betrayal of her best friend.
I don't know.
That's up to the teens of today to decide.
They have a relationship with nude selfies than I do.
I don't, yeah, I'm not going to set somebody else's ethical or moral yardstick, you know?
Yeah, yeah, that's fair.
That's very fair.
Only Judy can judge me is what I'm saying.
And perhaps Judge Joe Brown.
Yeah, but not hot bench.
They can fuck off.
So the kids vote, they say, hey, even though we can't morph, we're still super strong.
We'll go confront Rita before she destroys the town.
They go armed with pipes and chains like they're going to fight the baseball furies.
And there's a dimly lit fight, Rita wins.
And she threatens Zack's life to get Billy to reveal
where the the zeo crystal is because he's discovered it turns out it's underneath a crispy
cream in the middle of town.
Does this mean they're going to mention crispy cream a hundred times in the movie?
Yes, it is.
They go back to the spaceship, though, and Billy seems to have been killed.
She throws him into the water and he drowns.
And they go back to the spaceship.
Oh yeah, because they're all tied up to a boat, right?
Yeah, they're all chained and they're tied up to a boat.
They're all chained up with the very chains they brought, how ironic.
The chains represent their relationships with each other because friendships can cause
you trouble too.
Hey guys, you know, every sort is double edged friendship, even more so.
Well, not, I don't think a katana is double edged.
It's got two sides with edges on them, right?
No, I don't think so. I think only one side has an edge.
Okay, well, never mind then. I guess my sword metaphor didn't really go through.
I was a little too general with sword.
I mean, you could say most swords are double edged.
Okay, most, you know what, guys?
Everyone wears pants when they sleep. Let's just a bit on that
Where do you go when your friend drowns you go back to the spaceship and you make a promise to each other?
You know what we would give our lives for each other these guys have so quickly become not just friends
But it's like a Spartan, you know
Army phalanx that they would die for each other.
And so they become, uh-oh, the mighty Morphin emo-rangers, because this idea that they
would die for each other, it kicks the matrix into reality.
And instead of using their power to bring Zordon back to life, Zordon says, no, I'm going
to use it to bring Billy back to life.
Oh, he won their trust, too.
Now Zordon's one of their friends also.
An Alpha 5, the robot is like, yes, you guys are great. You're Morphin. Blah, he won their trust too. Now Zardons won their friends also. And Alpha 5, the robot
is like, yes, you guys are great. You're morphin. Blah, blah, blah, blah. You're morphin, everybody.
And he starts dancing. Now, yeah. Now, here's the thing. Would I've liked Alpha 5 more if he was
voiced by Eddie Deeson? You know it. You know I would. I mean, those kids got to learn that
dying is easy, but living's harder, you know? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, they didn't go see Hamilton because the tickets were too expensive.
So they didn't learn that.
Now they can morph. They get their overcomplicated armor.
There's the obligatory slow-mo walking towards the camera shot, which no longer makes you look tough or cool.
It just looks like you can't walk at normal speed, which is not going to help you in a fight if you can't walk at a normal speed.
Okay, Rita finally makes Goldar. speed, which is not going to help you in a fight if you can't walk at a normal speed. Okay.
Rita finally makes Goldar.
She waited till the morning for some reason.
Rita was like, she's like, I'm real tuckered out from fighting those foul rangers.
I know where the zeal crystal is, but I'm going to get a good rest because when I take
over the world, I want to be well rested so I can really enjoy it.
You know, I don't want to be running on fumes when I'm killing all the world's leaders.
I mean, it's been like 65 million years. Why would she rush?
Good point. She's waited this long. What she really has to psych herself up, listen to her workout mix, like really get in the right mindset. Maybe do some TM, you know, just get, get, get centered. You know,
Yeah, and catch up on catch up on her TV shows, you know, on our stories.
Yeah, catch up on our stories.
She missed 65 million years of TV.
She's like, oh, talk about peak TV.
I've got to watch all the shows.
And, uh, everyone's been telling me to watch Breaking Bad,
which by the way, reminds me of that guy.
She's like, I get why teens like Frazier now.
You know?
You know?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Uh, So she makes an army of Herak monsters, which I think are called putties.
Is that true?
It is.
We already covered that.
It sounds like a gross body part.
Oh, that's right.
We did talk about that.
And what are the good guys going to do but break up their zords?
We hear the one refrain of go-go power rangers sung in the movie and you're like,
movie, come on.
It's like, it's so half-hearted and dumb.
Like, why do you even bother?
It feels so out of place in this movie.
Like, the movie's gotten, you know,
they've gone to such lengths to try and make power rangers
this serious thing.
And then it's just the old theme song,
go-go power r Rangers, as they fly
through the air. Yeah, because they're expecting the audience to be like, what? And like start
cheering and throwing their popcorn in the air like their gremlins. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Going high ho, high ho, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then Billy burns that blows
up the movie theater. So you don't find out how the movie ends.
Yeah.
Guys, do you think the real tragedy of Gremlins
is that Billy destroys one of the original prints of Snow White?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, the tragedy is not the loss
of almost an entire species of Gremlins.
That's, I wish that while they're exploding someone from like the EPA came in and said Billy
Peltzer those are that's an endangered species you're under arrest.
Now there's only one left stripe and we gotta get and I guess Gizmo if you consider him
the same species.
We don't know how to classify a species that reproduces this way and changes so clearly
between one form and another.
I mean, it's not that different from a caterpillar
in a butterfly. Yeah, we're like red and toast.
Well, the guys like Billy bread and toast are not species.
That's a different thing.
Bread is not that different from toast.
Yeah, I guess he doesn't spend that much time in class.
Yeah. Anyway, they talk about the crispy cream a lot.
Meanwhile, Gouldar, as we'll say,
is a big metal statue with wings that walks around.
It does, I remember it having kind of a lion face
in the TV show, was that true?
No, I don't remember.
I don't know.
Who cares?
There's a big battle between the zords
and all those walking rock golem putties.
Gouldar's just stopping around the town,
Rita stops to eat a donut
because you need those kind of hilarious little moments.
It's like the Avengers eatin' Shorma, you know?
Exactly.
But it's in the movie, not after the movie.
It felt like for a long time,
every movie that involved supernatural powers
had Devacene in like a diner.
Yeah.
Because what's more down to earth than a diner?
Anyway, the Zords fight Goldar, Jason saves his dad from being crushed.
There's a lot of CGI battling, blah, blah, blah, goes on for a long time.
Goldar almost pushes them all into a fiery pit, and they talk about how much they love each
other, and they would die for each other.
This is that Toy Story 3 moment, which reminds me of how would you guys
felt about Toy Story 3?
If instead of them being saved
at the last minute from their fiery death,
instead they were melted,
the movie showed them being melted down,
and then that plastic used to make new toys.
Oh, that's interesting.
Because that's when it was happening in the movie,
I was like,
Well, the new toys be though.
I don't know, something that a kid would cherish nowadays,
but it's like,
When I was watching,
like a, like a,
Yeah, like a phone.
But that's because when I was a kid,
I was like,
I don't know when I was a kid,
I wasn't a kid,
when 20s when that movie came out,
or 30s,
when I was watching it,
I was like,
I wonder if they'll end the movie with them being turned
to new toys that a new kid will discover
and form attachments to
and like they stay alive that way,
but they didn't do that.
They've been like,
they nailed them down and they turn into
the little robot from AI.
Yeah, exactly.
But I mean, the worst version of it would be,
I guess they melted down and turned into like sex toys.
And you know, they're now,
now what do you think?
Yeah, why would you even say that?
Live up to their names in a different way.
Yeah.
Who are you saying this?
This is the worst thing.
I want someone to make a deviant art image of a dildo with woody space and hat and a dildo
with Buzz Lightyear's kind of dome on it.
And they're just like, I guess we're still toys.
I mean, if cartoonist Johnny Ryan hasn't already done that.
Good point. But anyway, do they fall into that pit?
They do, but while they do, they, these, these, these,
still thinking about it, like, not thinking about like if, if it's like Toy Story, whether
these sex toys come alive when people are around.
Yeah, they do when they talk to each other.
Yeah.
And they go like, did you see what they did to me?
Except they like it because that's what they were meant to do
You can't name your characters woody and buzz and not have them become a vibrator in a dildo
I mean, I guess I mean I guess they're bringing pleasure like whatever. Yeah, they're still bringing joy
Yeah, now they can interact with Andy in a in a new way now that he's adult now that he's a kid and he's experimenting and now that woody is like a butt plug or something
Now he can continue that relationship Yeah he's adult. Now that he's a kid and he's experimenting and now that Woody is like a butt plug or something,
now he can continue that relationship. That was the whole thing when Woody is like,
oh, he's not going to bring me to college with him. And I wanted to be like, Woody, you don't want
to see him sitting there masturbating all the time. Like, come on. Or like bringing girls or boys
back to his room. Like, that's going to be weird for you, Woody. Anyway. Yeah, and just like, and all the, the, the painful stuff that a kid
going to college goes through, like learning how to, I don't know, not
leave gross food lying around and like, yeah, exactly, drinking too much, you know,
anyway. So we last went, we left the powerangers, they had fallen to their death
in a big lava pit. Uh oh.
Hey, remember when I told you that they're stronger when they're together?
Go on. They're out there.
Literally, because they combine their zords to make some kind of a mega zord. And they
have one of those dumb moments where Billy is like, we're in some kind of like ultra zord.
No, ultra zord or, no, or something like that. Now that sounds lame. A mega zord. And
it's like mega zord also sounds pretty lame, Billy. I know, but you've got to like have
an organic way
that they discover the trademarked name for this toy.
Yeah.
It's just, it's like anything where they're like,
wait, say that again, you're right.
I'll be a Batman, you know, or something like that.
They combine together and Rita combines with Goldar,
which actually makes seems to make Goldar fight worse,
because the Rangers learn to work together.
They all control from partying.
But there's a moment right there.
So I watched this part in the morning
because I'd fallen asleep by them.
But there is a moment when she combines with Goldar,
and there's a reaction from Jason where he goes,
shit.
And I'm like, guys, I already get it. This isn't my daddy's
power rangers. You don't have to start. Yeah, you didn't need to say shit. Come on.
This is a Transformers the movie. Yeah, Guardians the Galaxy or the Smurf movie ad campaign.
We don't need it. The anyway, there's a lot of monster boxing, a very short fight because
as with ever in these movies, the fight with the biggest bad guy is the shortest
because the movie has to end.
These movies are all paste weird that way.
And the, that, you would think that like a giant being
of living gold who is piloted by a single mind
would be better than a giant robot
where each limb is piloted by a different person.
Like, have you ever tried to do a, like a three-legged race, that shit's complicated.
It is, yeah.
Any, have you ever done,
it's like on whose line it is in any way
when the one person has to be the hands
for the other person.
They never do it right.
It just ends up being really silly and ridiculous.
Oh, whose line?
Anyway, so they stop Rita, they stop her.
And she jumps at them with her staff
and the Megazord literally slaps her into space
because the final image of the battle that we want you to see
is Zord piloted by a heterowite jock
slapping a woman into space.
Like it's the most dismissive,
like kind of loaded way that they could defeat this evil woman
who we don't know where she came from
Maybe she has a reason for being evil. She was named Rapolsa. That's a hard badge to wear through life
Like that's a scarlet R
He just slaps her and and Billy goes did you just slap her and he goes? Yeah, I did
It's like to do to the moon Alice
as he does
Yeah, and all the other kids are like, we don't get that reference.
Is that a set up for the fact that in the show,
Rita's headquarters is on the moon or something?
Or she hangs out with Balkan Skull,
the two monster guys.
Well, there's that other, what's the other,
what's the villain who started as the main villain,
Power Rangers who looked kind of like a monster
with his skin off?
Yeah, I can't remember now. Like Tyranranna's or something like that or monster team.
Sure. I'm sure somebody will.
So somebody will tweet at us. Yeah.
Yeah, like slim, good body.
It's probably slim, good body.
Yeah. Uh, she goes into space and freezes.
She'll be back for the sequel.
No, she won't. This movie didn't make enough money.
And now they're just back to being teens and being friends
and they love each other.
Then they would have an end credits scene teasing
and I was like the credits start rolling
and I'm like, I'm gonna skip ahead to see
if there's something in a teaser.
And then the teaser, the guy who runs detention
just starts going, roll call.
Tommy Oliver.
Is there a Tommy Oliver here?
Tommy Oliver?
And he repeats the name Tommy Oliver maybe a thousand times
And I had to look up apparently Tommy Oliver was the green dragon ranger. Yeah, the green ranger that was originally
Created by Rita to fight the Rangers and then he just joined some
Vision wonder man type thing doesn't that guy have like a weird like the actor who played that guy has like a weird
criminal situation? I don't know. Oh, I don't know. I mean, he was working with Rita Repulsana,
destroy a world. That's pretty bad. Yeah, that's true. I don't know if it's technically again.
I don't know if there's a law on the books that says it's against the law to destroy the world,
probably not or else. Yeah, or else. Or else Scott Pruitt would be in jail right now. But
they like, but I want, but it was one of those things where I like I was saying,
I was like, I know this is probably something exciting
to power ranger fans, but I don't know what this is a reference to.
And it reminded me when the Green Lantern movie came out
and they had those posters that would just be like,
just the aliens with their names underneath them.
And it would be like a picture of an alien
on underneath that would just be like,
Gunox and I was just like, how, what is this supposed to mean to
someone who's not always like a big lantern head?
You mean, Ginoart? Isn't it Ginoart?
Ginoart. I'm sorry. Ginoart, not Ginox. I'm sorry. Ginox is a
silly name. Yeah. I've been playing a lot of that. I've been
playing a lot of that injustice video game where you play the
DC characters punching each other. So I've had to ask a lot of
DC related questions
of my comic book friends.
Like, why does this guy have a flying cat character
that vomits red stuff on people?
Why does he?
Because I guess that cat is like a being
of fueled entirely by rage.
Yeah, he's like most, he's a red lantern character.
Yeah, that's a trocitous and deck star the cat. Okay. That's like, he's a red, he's a red lantern character. Yeah, that's a trocidus and deck star of the cat. Okay. Sounds great. So, so guys,
let's go to final judgments. What is your dad? I'm being you for a moment. Guys,
we're running long. Let's go to final judgments. Yeah. I, as I teased before, like, I
kind of enjoyed the early parts of this movie. Like when it was just teen stuff and like
teen drama and I don't know like.
I mean like yeah, I mean like I've got a soft spot for like soapy teen shit and then like
they combined that with okay, Dan let's just quote it. I've got a soft spot for soapy teen shit.
It's a weird fetish. So bitch. So Dan's real take it at context.
Dan's really into somebody added that into it.
Or you're so fun.
The poop, I guess.
Whatever, this is not gonna judge you.
You be you.
Let your freak like, oh, yeah, man.
As long as nobody's getting hurt.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm not gonna soap shame you.
As long as those teens are over 18, that's what I like.
Yeah.
Uh, no, I, I like the early parts of this movie.
I enjoyed the origin story stuff as silly as it was.
As soon as they got into like, what are they called, Zorgs?
I don't know.
Zorgs don't act like you don't know what they are.
I got bored.
Like right when the movie was supposed to be at its most exciting
when giant monsters were attacking each other,
I'm just like, this is just going on forever.
And it's like a Transformers movie or something.
I did care for it.
So I've actually had it.
I mostly liked it.
I mostly liked it.
If you watch the first two thirds,
if you're a big power ranger span,
I think you'll enjoy it.
But otherwise, I don't know.
Yeah, I'm going to say I enjoyed the movie more than I thought
I would similarly until that last third, which is a problem. I frankly, it's a problem I'm going to say I enjoyed the movie more than I thought I would similarly until
that last third, which is a problem.
I frankly, it's a problem I have with Marvel movies a lot of the time too, where once it gets
to the big climax, I'm like, I get through it, I don't care.
But this one, I don't, I feel like I didn't like it enough to call it a movie I kind of liked,
but it did work for me much more than I thought a mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie would and I give them a lot
I give the people who made it a lot of credit for that. It's still not that good
But it like if you like the Power Rangers
Maybe I like it. I appreciate that whoever the people who made this didn't
Like half-ass it as much as they could have
Yeah, I think those are all I think that's all fair the
There there was a moment when I'm like, wow, there's spent a lot of time in this Power Rangers
movie where these kids just aren't Power Rangers.
They're just like hanging out.
That's fine.
I guess that's cool.
I guess we don't need to spend that much time with the boring giant robot stuff, which
is not something I expected to say.
But yeah, it's all right.
I would say this is not a great compliment, but I would say it's it
kind of tries to accomplish what the fantastic for a movie tried to accomplish the most
recent one and does it in a much better way. Where it's like we're going to take some
time and spend time with these characters and look at them as peak characters first and
kind of superior second. I will say almost all the
action in it is super boring. And Elizabeth Banks raises the level of the movie quite a
bit. I liked every scene she was in where she was talking and vamping it up.
Yeah, she's great.
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And women of color.
I was like, damn!
I could have got final cut.
I could have got final cut.
I just felt like the film was both sour and so completely irrelevant to basically anything in life.
Who shot ya?
Listen every Friday on Maximum Fun,
or wherever you, sponsors for. Oh, thank you, sponsors. You guys are great. Keeping the lights on.
Keepin' the lights on.
Our first sponsor, the Flop House is supported in part
by Squarespace.
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Which part?
The part before the customer support.
Search engine optimization and analytics?
Yes.
I believe the first thing means that you will be a high result if people search for your website. That sounds good.
Analytics, I believe, means you can take a look at who's been visiting your website.
Can we call this a tech podcast now?
Yeah.
Yeah, we can file it in iTunes category.
Now, it's the floppy diskhouse.
Now, Dan, this sounds really great.
That's what I'm looking for with this new website that I'm trying to get off the ground
Now like there's a conversation that we had earlier in that episode
He gave me an idea for a website and I'm wondering if Squarespace can help me and it's called Disney sex toys.com
No, it's now I think that maybe
There will be a little bit of a bit of Disney characters what from Squarespace you think they would sue me?
No, I think Disney might have a favorite.
No, Disney, Disney, I tried to get them in on it.
Disney spelled with a Z and two E's.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, it's Disney.
It's spelled D-I-Z-K-N-E-E.
Like you have a Disney knee,
like you're knee when you heard it, Dan.
Sex toys.com.
And it's like all your favorite beloved Disney characters.
Again, this is not related to the Disney that with Mickey Mouse
This is the other beloved one with Disney characters like Mickey Mouse and
And of course and Donald Fuck that goes that same and
Yeah, and of course and and goofy which is already a sexual name
So we would take these characters and we're finally making the most out of them
by they brought us pleasure for years on the silver screen.
Now, what if we could have them give us pleasure
in the bedroom?
Now, Dan, I think you might want to invest in this site also,
but you think Squarespace would help me with setting this up.
I want people to be able to buy these toys on their phones
as well as on their computers.
And you think they could do that? It would scale.
Yeah, scale for mobile.
It's a beautiful that way.
You can, you see.
Now, whatever you want to.
Now, what if, now, what if,
I'm having people are having trouble,
they ordered a, they're trying to click,
they added to the shopping cart
one of our Horace Horse Collars, which is a cock ring.
And they, and they, it's,
it's the shot, it's not showing up in the shopping
cart. There's a problem with, with the software on the site. There's, when can I get tech support
from Squarespace for that? Well, yeah, the, I don't think the customers would directly get tech
support, but you would get tech support. No, no, they would tell me about it. And I'd need tech
support. Yeah, we could, who could I go to? I mean, they've got 24, seven customer support.
So I think you should be able to get those cock rings out,
post-taste.
That's great, because I've also got another idea for a site.
It's called www.danmakoi's sopetinshit.com.
And the name kind of tells you what it's all about.
And it's got that great Dan Makoi brand
that we've all come to trust for our strange peccadilla. It's really crazy how you're the
You own the intellectual property of Dan McCoy
Yeah, well in a low moment Dan sold me the rights to his name and likeness also his life story in exchange for a hug and so
And some would say I took a friend hey and magic beans
And some would say I took a friend and magic beans and magic beans, which you then ate, which kind of defeated the purpose of having magic beans.
I was hungry.
So you didn't even look so common water, anything.
You just ate them straight, which is crazy.
Yeah, which is just crunched on them like sunflower seeds.
Now, I want to apologize to anyone who might be listening to this with a young person in the room. I should have mentioned ahead of time that I was
going to get a little blue, but, you know, who's might help you with that was setting
up your website, www.alietcalinboycott.com is Squarespace. So, Dan, what should people do
about Squarespace?
You should head over to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code flop
to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Yep, so use offer code flip.
No flop.
No, why would you do that, Stewart?
No, no, that's how they track whether we're doing a good job
for them if they use the offer code flip.
They'll use offer code flip.
No flop.
No, no flop.
Use the offer code flop. No, flop. No, flop.
Use the offer code flop.
No, I'm confused.
All right.
Don't be.
Why would you do that?
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Yeah, I mean, there's definitely those social occasions
that you go to where you want to arrive
wearing matching hoodies and underpants.
Yeah, like a wedding or a funeral or a podcast recording.
Yeah.
The annual pants list subway ride that in private everywhere does.
Oh, that's crazy.
What crazy folks.
Yeah, they really enjoy to people's lives.
Yeah.
They're just bringing a touch of whimsy to everybody's life when they're just trying to get to work
and live their goddamn life without someone budding in
with some fake whimsy.
Anyway, Mac Weldon is a great underwear brand.
I love it.
It feels great.
And you know what?
Maybe we should all live in a Mac Weldon world.
I call it Mac Weldon or Mick World.
It can happen.
The guy behind improv everywhere is a very nice man by the way, but I
don't. I'm sure. I'm sure the people who do it are very nice. But I'm just saying when
I'm in a restaurant eating lunch, trying to finish quickly because I got to get back
to work, I don't need a musical to break out in the middle of it. Maybe I'm having a
LA wants his Chipotle burrito and he doesn't want any whimsy on it. He ordered it with extra extra hot sauce. Yeah, maybe
Maybe I'm having a difficult conversation with a loved one at that moment and I don't need somebody having fun around me
Yeah, actually has there ever been a scene in a movie like that?
That'd be kind of a funny scene where like someone's breaking up with a loved one
Or they've got or they've gotten a terrible they terrible, they're having to explain that they have a,
like some kind of lethal illness,
and improv everywhere shows up,
and it's like, hey, everybody, it's fun time.
And they have to have this very serious conversation.
Well, there's like some kind of goofy nonsense
going on around them, and they get really mad about it.
Yeah. Anyway, somebody put that scene on a movie
or I'll just do it.
So I'll sneak into my spec script for that modern family episode I want to write.
Yeah, actually, that would be the perfect place for it. So anyway, Mac Weldon, it's super
comfortable. It's some of the best underwear you can get. And you know what? Something
tells me you can get it at a website. Dan, where do you go to get it?
Well, you go to Mac Weldon.com and you can get 20% off using promo code flop.
So the same promo code for both Squarespace and Macwellton.
Which is flop. That's flop.
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Of course, Shadow of the executioner. Come on. I think it's Shadow of the torture of my mistake.
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set up a website about how much you love your Mac Weldon underpants, like a Mac Weldon fan page,
and for both of them, use the promo code, flop.
That sounds great.
Hey Dan, do we have any jumbo tronds today?
We do.
I sent one to you to read, so.
Oh, that's right, and I'm looking at it right now.
OK, everybody.
Let's just talk about what's going to happen.
Ultra 64 is the comprehensive Nintendo 64 podcast
in which hosts Steve Gunnty,
no sorry, Steve Gunnly, it was far away,
and Woody, Siskowski, these are complicated names, I'm sorry.
Steve Gunnly and Woody Sysowski play through the entire catalog
of N64 games in random order, fast, funny, and informative
with some great guests, including Upper Sizzards Brigade favorite,y Siddaro. Revisits some of your favorites like Golden Eye, Banjo
Kazooie, and Tony Hawk, and discover some crazy new favorites and flops along the way.
Subscribe to Ultra64 today, so subscribe to Ultra64 on iTunes or Stitcher today. I got
to tell you guys, I'm going to listen to this podcast because I was a big Nintendo 64
player when I was
young.
And I want to hear them talk about Banjo Kazooie, one of my favorite Nintendo 64 games.
And you know their fans because they're calling it Ultra 64, which was the name of the system
before they called it Nintendo 64.
Well, Elliot almost saved messing up those names.
Yeah.
Almost.
I never had a N64. I'd always have to play it at other people's places.
So yeah, maybe I should revisit it too. Oh yeah. You know we have an N1064 at home if you ever
go to my brother's apartment. Since as an art project, he took all the old boxes for an N1064
games, glued them together into one big collage, and then put it up on his wall.
So that's a little glimpse into the life of David Kaelin.
That's one way to set up a party zone.
Yeah.
But yeah, it sounds like a fun podcast.
Ultra 64, it's called.
Should we talk a little bit about our live shows?
Yeah, let's do it. little bit about our live shows?
Yeah, let's do it.
We got three big live shows coming up
where people can come see us talk in person
and we'll be all dressed up and we'll do presentations
and it'll be a lot of fun.
Damn, where and when are these shows?
How do we get tickets?
Why do you get ticket?
I'm in the show.
No, you're covered.
I'll put you on the cover list.
I'm on the list.
I mean, you can still buy one now.
Yeah.
Well, the first show is on May 26th.
That's in DC.
It's a Saturday night.
Yeah, on the sixth of the night, historic synagogue.
That's in DC, deep Carolina.
Yeah, Washington DC.
Oh, you should have said the whole name.
You should have named the city
and not just the district that it's in.
Okay, well, I just
tricked.
We've got another city in DC in the district of Columbia.
The next one is actually a Brooklyn homecoming.
That's on the seventh of June.
That's a Thursday.
Yep.
At the bellhouse where we've done plenty of wonderful shows. They're
always nice there. They're okay. Wow. We also have a show in Seattle on June the 30th at
the Neptune Theater. And all those shows are at 8 o'clock. You can buy tickets for them at FlapphousePodcast.com.
Flash events.
Very hard to remember.
For the DC show, we'll be reviewing Geostorm,
for the Brooklyn show we will be reviewing The Dark Tower.
And for Seattle, we'll be watching The Mummy.
I'll be Frank with you guys.
Okay, listeners. No, you'll be Dan, wait, should we call you Frank now?
I'll be Frank with listeners. The DC show is selling a little slow. I think it's
because it's on Memorial Day weekend. So if you like us touring, if you like the
idea of us touring, maybe come on out, support the show. I mean, if you're from
out of town, that might be a good time to
take your little vacation. Who knows? I know that people don't want to really be in
Washington, DC right now for a variety of reasons, but come on by. And you know what, I'm
going to promise, hey guys, let's try to make this a politics free zone on that show.
You know what? Let's give those people in DC a little break from the news. What do you
say about that? I'm not going to in DC a little break from the news. What do you say about that?
I'm not going to agree to that. I can't either. Okay, go ahead. No, I can't. Okay, go ahead. No, no, no, no.
Isn't politics free zone just another way to say that you're making the political choice to be
supportive of conservatives? Oh, wow. Oh, boy. That's a loaded statement.
Controversial. I'm not sure I fully agree with, but okay guys.
So if you want to see a really political show that's full of, that's really bringing it
to those guys at Washington, come see us.
Well, really we're going to be talking about Geostorm.
So that's, I don't know how, I don't know.
Just focus on the Geostorm part of things, maybe not.
And something that I've decided to do is, for these, we always do PowerPoint presentations
before the shows.
This is something that we've done
at all of our live shows.
I think I'm gonna start doing presentations
that I only do once.
Oh wow.
I don't know if I can pull it off.
So if you come to the DC show,
you're gonna see a presentation for me
that you will never see again.
So I don't know if that wets your whistle.
I can't guarantee that. I'm gonna be doing,
I think the same presentation at all three live shows,
but there are different parts of the country.
So no one will ever know.
Well, the only the person who flies from DC
to Brooklyn to Seattle.
Yeah.
I'll know.
Yeah, you'll be bored by that.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, so if you wanna share,
but all these shows are special moments
that will never be repeated again.
It's live theater.
And you know, who knows what's gonna happen? Maybe there'll be a marriage proposal, maybe an
onstage murder or perhaps we'll just talk about Geo Storm at one of them. Yeah.
And are we just going to do a whole bunch of raw political comedy? No, yeah. A couple of Bill
Mayors. Where? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like a bunch of John Mayors. Yeah, like a bunch of uh, Louis B may, Louis B mayors. Yeah, I don't remember what his initial was. What's the mayor of?
He was the mayor of movie town. Okay. So moving on.
It's time for letters from listeners listeners like you
It's time for letters from listeners listeners like you
The first letter is sometimes you want to sing the letters song But your voice is not feeling so great because you might be coming down with something
So what do you do? What do you do? Here's what you do you push through you push through the illness?
You push through your stuffy nose and your sore throat. You sing that song because people are relying on you all over the world.
There are people relying on this song and I can't let them down.
I can't let them frown.
I gotta be a clown for them.
I gotta let them hear so that they can cheer and they can show the world that they're
still the magic of the letters song
Even when I throats don't feel too good. We can still do a song that's way too long because it's a letter song
For everyone in the world, but especially the children
Okay, well thanks for that
This is what I do my part. Yeah
You're you're a real philanthropist.
So this first letter is from Patrick Doherty.
Oh, sorry, Patrick, last name with Halopas.
I forgot our bit.
Wow, okay, wow, damn.
I forgot a long time bit.
You just unmasked that person.
Yeah, Elder Brother of Shannon Doherty.
I was so bedazzled by your letter song, but anyway.
That's powerful.
Dearest the flop house.
I was in an art slash porn class in college.
It's not as exciting as it sounds.
It explored the line that separates art and porn.
Right around the time when it came out
that Chuck Palinuck was gay, it was
pointed out by the professor that knowing he's gay makes many parts of fight
club seem homoerotic. I don't think that knowing that you don't, I don't think
you need to know that. Yeah, they were pretty homoerotic before then. Uh, but
anyway, he writes, are there any movies where you found out something about the
personal life of the director or writer that changed the way you saw the movie?
Thanks Patrick. Last name discl movie. Thanks, Patrick.
Last name disclosed. Yeah, I mean, the super obvious recent one was the, was the whole
Quentin Tarantino almost killing Uma Thurman in a car accident and then making death proof
right after. That makes death proof feel really weird. Yeah, because it's like, here's a stunt
man who has a stunt car where the driver could never
get injured, which is such like a strange fantasy that one makes after making a movie
where a stunt car almost kills your lead.
But then also that person used that car to kill people.
And then he takes Umatherman stunt double from Kill Bill and slaps around the hood of a car
for one of the craziest car chases ever put on film.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That it's like, oh, this movie about a guy who uses a souped up car to kill people to kill
women was made by a guy who almost killed a woman with a souped up like a, and somebody
was a close friend and considered his muse.
I mean, it's crazy.
Yeah.
It's very good.
Well, technically, I think just her feet are his muse.
Sure.
But I think there's a go on.
Yes. No, no, you say down.
I think another obvious one is vertigo like knowing how Alfred Hitchcock was
obsessed with Grace Kelly, like the then this movie about someone making over a
woman to be like his previous obsession.
I mean, that's clearly a theme that spoke to him in particular.
Yeah.
That's all I had to say about that.
I mean, it's a pretty well-known story.
I don't think we're breaking new ground.
Not breaking new ground there.
Until Ellie goes.
Something that occurred to me recently is there's all this talk about Woody Allen and how
in light of Woody Allen's possible acts that Manhattan seems kind of creepy now.
And it's like, wait a minute, that storyline in Manhattan was always creepy.
Like, and Manhattan is a movie I enjoy most of, but every single scene with him and his
underage girlfriend, even when I was a teenager watching it, I was like, this is weird and creepy.
And I feel like there's a lot of people who are like,
oh, it didn't bother me until I realized that
he might have some kind of thing for,
possibly for underage women.
It's like, no, this was always creepy, guys.
The author's intent does not change the creepiness
of this original thing or enhance it.
It was always creepy.
Yeah.
There's this, there's seeing where she's like,
why do you wanna break up?
We have great sex and I was like,
oh, come on, that's, I don't like that.
That's not okay.
Yeah.
So just depressing all around.
You're just a little bit, yeah.
A bunch of real creeps making movies.
Yeah, creeps make movies.
What are you gonna do?
So moving on.
I think it's, somehow the people who make movies and they want their
professional job to be telling other people what to do while
they pretend to live out fantasies that they've crafted.
Somehow those people are kind of creepy. It's pretty
surprising. I don't know. Yeah. Well, thanks for making me feel
bad about movies in general now. I will say so I watched I rewatched alien again recently
Great movie and it like it really changed the way I looked at it to find out that Ridley Scott is half xenomorph that his mom was a xenomorph
Yeah, and that she implanted an egg into his dad and that's how she and his brother Tony were born
And it was like, oh, okay now I see things about this character
Like before I just took it for granted, the xenomorph is the monster.
But now I'm kind of seeing it more from the xenomorph's point of view a little bit.
Now that I know that really Scott probably really related to the xenomorph to a certain extent.
Yeah. Yeah, that's a good real example.
Let's move on. Paul last name with held rights.
If any of you were to ever start a cult, what do you think you would call it?
And what do you think Sabbath services would look like?
This is a tough one.
I don't know if I...
It's really the kind of question I wish you'd sent us
ahead of time, so we thought about it.
Yeah, I feel like Dan, your cult would involve
sitting around a room,
reading newspaper cartoon strips.
Oh yeah.
Oh, I have to assume that it would be like it's like on the Sabbath
We as these are wholly right do not get dressed and stay in our pajamas and we reorganize our DVDs
as a way of
symbolizing the reorganization that all lives must have yeah
And now and and church service or at the church of Dan the
services would be like this. Lesson or Thou Dan and then the whole congregation
would go, uh, who makes us to feel the futility of things and the whole congregation
would go, that's pretty much it. I think at my church it would be called Elliot
Kalens discount church. And you know what we at my church, it would be called Elliot Kalens Discount Church.
And you know what, we just have fun.
Everything would be a dollar.
And like, you know, maybe it's-
What's everything?
I don't know, like all the stuff you buy at church.
I don't know, I don't go to church.
I'm gonna go to church.
I'm gonna go to church.
Like the wafers, you gotta pay for those.
Yeah.
How much of those like $4.99 a pop?
Yeah.
It's a book at mine.
And probably there'd be a lot of like,
I don't know, just talking about Abraham Lincoln.
Sit in a round, chatting about Lincoln.
So what we think, my cult,
well, it would be somewhere in the back woods, right?
And we would get some, of course.
And we would get some rundown homes.
So we'd have to find a way to get money for that.
And instead of paying for a trash company
to pick up our trash, I think we're just gonna like
put it in the house in places.
Like, I don't want a trash man coming around,
that'll disrupt our services.
Now for Sabbath, that's gonna be tough.
So we're gonna need to get some campers or hikers, okay?
So we're gonna have to find a way to lure them in.
Now, I guess we'll probably collect hubcaps,
and we gotta sharpen those bad boys to turn them into like wicked boomerang discoses, right?
Okay.
So we're gonna do that. That way that like if we hit someone,
if you hit someone in the neck just right,
it just pops that head clean off.
Now we're gonna need to fill out.
I don't know why you would wanna do that.
We're gonna collect those heads, okay.
You gotta, you gotta.
Oh wait, so you are gonna do that, okay?
Yeah, you collect those heads.
The bodies, that's not important.
Leave that to attract wolves.
So that those wolves then attract Rangers, okay?
And those park rangers, you know those guys have?
And ladies, they have heads, okay?
So we're gonna collect their heads, too.
So the heads are used to collect more heads.
Exactly, yeah, well, you keep the head
and then you shook off the body, yeah.
You leave. Okay, but what are you gonna do
with that head? Okay, now that's the thing.
Heads have brains in them, okay?
And if you put enough brains together,
you're gonna come up with some really good ideas.
Okay.
So this is just like a think tank.
Like a weird thing.
I see you.
So instead of a tank,
we're just gonna have a gross bathtub filled with brains.
And maybe a couple of bathtubs.
I don't know how successful we're gonna be
before we get caught. Okay, and interesting. I think I think I kind of covered
the core tenants of this. Okay, well, it's like a horrifying death cult, but. And then
watch in 10 years, it's the number one religion in the world. Yeah, that's the thing.
You know, world news pretty fast, Dan.
This next letter is from Ezban Last Name Withheld.
Who writes, Hey, Peaches, my wife is pregnant with our first kid, a boy. Oh, congratulations.
Yeah. Yeah. And we can't decide on a name.
There's a lot of pressure. She keeps suggesting crazy movie and TV character names.
As such, like Frazier.
As such, like Frazier.
As such, I'm not against the idea if they were good suggestions.
I don't think Frazier is crazy as a character.
He's a little neurotic.
What's, he's in some ways,
he's more neurotic than his patients.
Oh, what?
You know, he, he thinks he, he hears things.
Like he hears the blues calling.
And also, toss salad and scrambled eggs.
They talk to him.
Very strange.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He doesn't know what to do with that toss salad and toss salad and scrambled eggs.
They're calling again.
Bom, bom, bom.
Good night, Seattle.
The question in the email is, what's the best movie character name for a boy?
Keep on flopping in the free world.
PS, I've suggested Elliott, Dan, Dan and Stewart there's still in the running oh
Yeah, so what's the best movie name for a boy like pinhead?
And that's pretty good, but are you referring to pinhead from the puppet master series or pinhead the centabyte?
That's the great thing is you can commemorate both in one name. Yeah, that's true
What about uh Godzilla that's the great thing is you can commemorate both in one name. Yeah, that's true. But what about Godzilla?
Godzilla is a good one too, because it indicates what?
Size.
And also radioactive breath.
Now, Dan, you'd probably suggest what, David Burn?
Yeah, that's right.
The thing is the character, David Burn. I mean, he is kind of a character.
He is quite a character. You met him recently and you said he was kind of a character, right?
I was pulling pranks. Yeah, that's right. I mean, I think you don't want to go too crazy with
a name. You want to come up, you want to give your child a name that, you know, well, I'll
help them stand out a little bit, but people will recognize it immediately as a name, while also commemorating
a great film. So of course Lee's bagano. Yeah.
Dexter Jester.
Uh, Nyan Nibb.
Nyan Nibb. Yeah.
Darth Sidious.
Mm-hmm.
And Sifo Diaz.
Sifo. Yep. Sifo.
And, uh, who could forget such great characters names as Walrus Man?
Yeah.
And Snaggle too.
And, and Gunk, the power droid. I mean, gong
the power droid is a pretty strong name. Darth Plage is the wise would be a good one. Yeah.
Yeah. And of course, lumpy to block the sun. Sure. Yeah. That's a Star Wars name. It's
canon. It's can't yeah. The holiday specials can and right. Yeah. It's canon. It's yeah, the holiday specials canon, right? Yeah, it
an interest boba fit. Yeah, I mean, as far as I'm concerned, when, when Disney took over,
they didn't destroy all that stuff, just the Timothy's on stuff, right? Yeah, all the
expanded universe novels. Okay. Which means my tales from the Mos Eisley,
Cantina book is now worthless. Mm hmm. It's no longer hidden knowledge that I once thought I had about the Stowers universe.
Here, guys, I only get real for a second.
My wife and I are having a similar problem.
We're expecting a boy,
and we do not know what to name this boy,
and we're having trouble finding a name that we like a lot.
And one of the places we go to is art that means something to us,
and we've also been having trouble with it.
So, I guess what I'm saying is,
this conversation has really inspired me,
and now I finally have a name for him, which is Mo-Ma-N-E-Don.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
His name will be Mo-Ma-N-E-Don Ponda-Babba-Kalen,
named after two of my favorite Cantina aliens.
Yeah.
I like, I'm glad that we came to this decision together
as a group of three.
As a family, yeah.
Without your wife.
Yeah, she doesn't need to know.
She'll wake up from giving birth and she'll look at the birth certificate and she'll go,
oh, what?
Yeah.
Or you can just keep telling him that that's his name in secret and be like, don't tell your mom.
But just remember.
You have a secret name of power and it's mom
on a dumb computer.
And he'll be like, Dad, that sounds pretty dumb.
And I'll be like, it came from George Lucas's brain.
It's not dumb.
Never did anything dumb.
But I was told, but I was told recently by someone who works with George Lucas.
Is that apparently when George Lucas would have writers block, he would just sit down and write lists of names. He would just come up with names.
So he has notebooks full of fictional names. And whenever they needed names for like characters
that were toys or something, he'd be like, eh, have some of these. And he'd just give them a bunch
of names from this notebook. And it like, some names would really stick in his head, which is why
Mace Windu appears like in different drafts
of the Star Wars scripts as like a planet,
or it's like a guy, or it's like a group,
like he was gonna use that name Mace Windu.
So he puts a lot of thought into some of those names.
Others, not so much.
Like one character whose name is Space Droido,
that's not, didn't put a lot of name,
working to that.
No, no, no.
And Luke Skywalker's original name was space boy.
Right.
And Chewbacca's original name was space bear ape.
And people were like,
George, you gotta come up with names for this.
Yeah, they actually,
that was his name all the way.
They even started shooting with some of those names.
And then they had to change it.
Oh, you see those production pictures
of Peter Mayhew's chair that he would sit in,
and then on the back it just says space, space barrier.
Yeah, and they're like, George,
like these characters know that they're in space.
You don't need to like reinforce the fact
that they're all in space.
Like this is just normal to them.
Oh man, George, what if it?
That space barrier ape in annihilation
was really incredible, right, guys?
It's not in space, that's just on earth It wait a minute and it has no I
But isn't it kind of in space. Yeah, we're all in space. Yes, that's true because earth is in space
Okay, fair point
You but yeah, yeah, they released some of those original toys and it would say like space boy
Space pirate back when the movie was just called wars and he was like how are people gonna know it takes place among the stars
The movies just called wars and that's when I think it was Brian Dupalma was like lunch call it star wars and he was like
Because of all the stars in it like Harrison Ford from Air Force one. Yeah, of course. Let's call it
Alright well, we've cracked that code
I don't know what that you got some more jokes there to do now. We don't have any riffs. Okay
I don't know what that is. You got some more jokes there to do now.
We don't have any rips.
Okay.
Do you want any more sweetlets?
It's getting a little dry.
Any more tracy letters?
No, well, there was one more, but we're running along.
So we should, we'll just cut it off.
Now I'm that great Star Wars riff.
Cool.
So, let's go right in and guess which letters
and excise from the roles.
Yeah.
Maybe it was yours.
Mm-hmm.
And right in, you know what, listeners, write in and tell us your favorite Star Wars name
and maybe make up a story behind it.
Who, maybe, you know what, maybe we'll read them.
We probably won't.
But maybe we'll read them.
You never know.
Yeah.
So, so do we do now?
Let's move on to the final segment of the show where we do recommendations of movies we
liked, let's say better than power rangers
Setting the bar kind of low, but that's okay
Does anyone want to go or should I go first? I don't you're talking right ahead Dan. I went to see
On Friday night. I saw
That's an important part of the detail. That's an important detail for the show, like what night I just
to do.
I didn't feel right.
Why don't you get deeper?
Hold on.
Just tell us the thing.
I saw.
I went and saw Louise.
You were never really here.
Oh, directed by Lynn Ramsey, who directed, uh, we need to talk about Kevin, which I never saw
and Moorvern Collar, which I saw in like a lot,
and starring Joaquin Phoenix as a burly guy.
That's his character in the help, check to IMDB.
It's about a contract killer who is a very troubled man
who saves.
Unlike most of them, yeah.
Yeah, very well adjusted usually.
He goes out and he saves young children who have been kidnapped and he's hired by a senator
to get back his daughter who has been sold into prostitution.
Okay. And he takes his trusty ball-peen hammer
to go beat up a bunch of folks
and get this daughter back,
but he finds himself embroiled
in a bigger conspiracy.
And it sounds like a, like a Sin City comic book.
Now, the thing is, it's like,
it is the outlines of it are kind of this gritty like brutal
man against the world thriller, but the end. It's actually a lighthearted musical, right?
Well, the interesting thing about it is the movie. Well, Hammer, it's just you and me.
On the road again, let's just see what adventures await for a man and his hammer.
Like that song's in it. Yeah. No, the movie kind of subverts what you would normally get in kind
of this revenge thriller mode by not really showing you the violence that happens. I mean,
the violence that is kind of suggested is brutal and horrifying, but it kind of holds back on what you would expect
like this revenge, like reveling in the violence kind of thing would be.
And it's a very elliptical movie.
And I will.
Oh, so you get a workout while you're watching.
Yeah, you do.
And I would, while watching it, I kind of felt for part of it like,
oh, okay, well, this is a good movie.
It's not the masterpiece I've been led to believe, like based on some of the reviews,
like, isn't it basically just this, like, kind of,
Taudry Thriller at its heart.
But then there's some developments kind of late in the movie that turn things
on their head, like, aren't what you would expect out of the film developments kind of late in the movie that turn things on their head
like aren't what you would expect out of the film that kind of left me. I don't know.
I've been reflecting on the movie a lot since I've seen it because of the way it made me feel.
Do you think you were left reeling and feeling?
Yeah, so you were never really here is my recommendation.
I'm going to recommend a movie from, I think it was last year,
that some people loved and some people didn't love.
It's, you know, kind of like mother, right?
Yeah, mother.
Oh yeah, I'm gonna be mother, I would say.
A few people loved, me included, and most people didn't like.
I, so I really like mother, and that's not what I'm
recommending, but I really liked mother,
but it wasn't until the other night
when I had a bartending stress dream
that I'm like, oh, that's why I liked mother,
because it's basically like my stress dreams
where like it's four in the morning
and people keep coming into the bar
and I can't get them out and like,
oh, I'll go downstairs for more beer
and come back and people of like climbed behind the bar
and started helping themselves.
Spoilers for mother.
Spoilers for your dreams.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I'm gonna recommend a movie called It Comes At Night,
a movie that both the title and the trailers
pitch it as like a post-apocalyptic horror movie. And it kind of isn't.
It's just this small little story set in a post apocalypse that's sad and I don't know,
kind of horrible, but it's beautiful. And I don't know.'t know. If you are looking for something that's kind of short and heavy,
watch it comes at night.
I like half of those things.
Which have, heavy or short?
This short half.
By the way, you're never really here, it's also short.
It's like 89 minutes long.
It also sounds heavy.
Yeah, it is also heavy.
Hey, speaking of short movies,
this was maybe not quite so heavy.
I wanted to recommend a movie that's also within 90 minutes
in length.
This is a movie called Private Parts.
Not the one you're thinking called Private Parts.
Not the Howard Stern one.
Yeah, because you're always talking about
how much you love that.
I think you've already recommended it like four times.
Oh, oh, it changed my life.
It's my favorite movie.
I'm like, how did, why didn't Howard ever get to make another movie?
I just have to watch that and the video of his pay-per-view but bomb go special that he
did years ago.
But, so private parts, it's the first feature film that Paul Bartell directed.
Paul Bartell from Death Race 2000 and Eden Red Woolfame and also who appeared
as the ushering Remlins 2 in the movie sequence.
And it's a movie about a, it's like a kind of a sleazy thriller, but it's a really good
sleazy thriller where it's one of these movies where it's on the 70s and there's this kind
of ambiguous take on untraditional sexuality where it's partly seen as horrifying
and partly seen as liberating.
But it's about this young woman who is a runaway.
She's ran away to Los Angeles and she goes to a hotel that her aunt runs that is full
of weirdos and people down on their luck.
It's like the kind of real transient hotel that
cities have been gentrifying out of existence in big ways.
Oh, like the one that was on the corner of your old block. Yeah, I think.
I remember that. Yeah, I remember that one. There was that weird little hotel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they did like hourly rates. I have a bunch of prostitutes in it.
Yeah.
Or are you talking more like the hotel in Florida project
where people just live?
No, no, no, no.
More like the one, I mean, people live there.
It's like a, people live there.
But it's, it's more like the hotel that was on Dan's block
and less like the hotel in Florida project.
Because it's not family's living there.
It's, you know, like single men who are weird basically
there. And she starts to become herself, kind of obsessed with, and also the
upsets. When you said single men who are weird, Dan looked me right in the eyes and not.
The, she becomes obsessed with, and he becomes obsessed with her with someone who
lives the hotel, the spotographer named George, that there's some thing about.
And there's a murderer at the hotel.
And there's a twist that comes up later that is not really that unpredictable.
It's kind of predictable.
But it's if it's like the movie is, but is kind of funny at times, but it's also genuinely like weird and unsettling,
but it seems to feel like a real sympathy
for the people in this hotel.
And it's shot by the Sim Tireford was Andrew Davis
who went on to direct the fugitive.
So it looks amazing.
And under siege.
It looks, it looks fantastic.
Wait, Andrew, it looks under siege?
Yeah, awesome.
And so this is before it is under here. That's a movie where they do die hard fantastic. Yeah, awesome. And so this is before the...
That's a movie where they do die hard on a boat, Dan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So if you're interested in seeing a movie that looks great, that was shot on real occasions.
Did he direct under siege to dark territory?
I don't think he did.
No, I don't think he did.
If you want to see this movie, did he do a lot of the involves?
Did he do a speed two cruise control? No, it's a just that's also a boat and now he didn't do that one.
Anyway, it's a really good like kind of smart trash thriller.
If you've ever wanted to see a scene where somebody has sex with an inflatable doll that
you inflate by filling it with water.
And then yes, I do.
And you use it for kind of a weird like sex murder game so that you don't end up actually killing a real person
Then private parts is the movie for you and I didn't I did not do a good description of it
But I thought it would if you're looking for like a 70s kind of sleaze thriller that has a brain and more of a heart
Then you would then normal then private parts is a really good example of that
I mean I felt like you did a good job.
I'm intrigued.
Okay.
Hopefully, I think you would like it, Dan.
I think you would like it.
Yeah.
That's right at my alley.
70s sleaze thriller.
Yeah, it's a Korman movie, but not a Roger Korman movie.
It was produced by his brother, Gene Korman.
Mm-hmm.
But it's very much a Paul Bartell movie.
And Paul Bartell, like, he made a lot of good stuff.
Yeah, I've had eating Rebels sitting on my Givo for months and I've just never got around
to it, but I've always wanted to see that movie.
Sounds like a meal you should sink your teeth into.
It says Stuart Wellington of the flop house.
About a movie he hasn't seen.
I've seen the case of the VHS tape,
and I think my parents had it on tape too.
Oh wow.
It's an adventurous movie for anyone's parents to have on tape.
I feel like.
I feel eating Raffles one of those movies
that is very much an art movie,
but it like broke through and became,
you know, kind of as mainstream a movie.
I feel like it's kind of like my dinner with Andre that way,
where it's like, this is an art movie.
Like this is not a movie you would expect to play it
like a multiplex, yet somehow it broke through
to the public consciousness in a way you wouldn't expect
where people are aware of it.
Yeah.
Or might have even seen it that you wouldn't expect to.
Yeah, except for those millennials,
and all right guys, not what my dinner with Andre.
Wait, what?
I they would love my dinner with Andre.
They love Frazier.
And that's basically my dinner with Andre, the sitcom.
No, I was just I don't I don't know why I made that joke.
It was barely even a joke.
Just to fire your your dumb joke.
I do that all the time.
Yeah. So guys, now's the time and the podcast where we end the podcast. Okay.
We call it the ending and it goes a little like this. Yeah. It goes for the podcast.
A good, good podcast, a bad good podcast. Or a podcast you kind of liked, Dan.
I feel like the listener gets to decide that. I don't think it was kind of a podcast podcast. Or yes, you kind of liked Dan. I feel like the listener gets to decide that. I don't
think it was kind of a podcast podcast. Yeah. So I mean, you know, don't sue me or anything.
All right. I won't sue you Stewart. For the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm steward Wellington.
And over here is Elliott Kaelin just, you know, drifting off on this ice flow off to the horizon
It's time on earth has come to an end and now he'll be back again maybe someday in your dreams
Goodbye
Like, okay, this guy really took Lemmy's death hard and he wants to see Lemmy whenever he looks in the mirror.
Sure.
Yeah, that's right.
Maybe I'm in a band.
Yeah, I mean, when I would see, if I saw you and didn't know you, I would assume you
were in a band.
Yeah.
But that you were in either a metal band
or like a Southern rock band?
Oh, yeah.
I was going to say Southern rock all the way.
Yeah.
You do a lot of skin-erd covers.
I would say there's a lot of like three-part male harmonies
in this band.
Oh, yeah.
And two guitars, two leans.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, that's been Beer Talk, I guess.
OK.
Beer Talk.
So this has been brought to you by Dollar Shave Club.
I'll let you know.
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