The Flop House - Ep. #262 - Sherlock Gnomes

Episode Date: July 21, 2018

We discuss Sherlock Gnomes, the sequel to Gnomeo and Juliet, the first movie entirely based on a stupid rhyme. Meanwhile Stuart somehow forgets the song Rocket Man, Elliott remembers every OTHER song,... and Dan talks far too much about sex swings. Wikipedia synopsis for Sherlock Gnomes Movies recommended in this episode Incredibles 2 The Purchase Price Assassination Games Hereditary

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 On this episode we discuss Sherlock Noam's. What? Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey guys, I'm Stuart McCoy. Hey, Elliot McCoy, over here. It's my brother, my brother and me. My brother, my brother McCoy. Hey, Elliott McCoy, over here. It's my brother, my brother, and me. My brother, my brother McCoy. And we're an advice podcast for the heart of hearing. So let's start talking louder.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Hey, here's a question. Eclipse, you're clipping. Oh, sorry, sorry. That's because I went to barber school. Okay. So welcome back. We're sitting here in the old, the cat ranch here at Travelodge Seattle.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Just a couple of guys sitting around a table. Yep. As always, it's a little weird when we do one of these hotel recordings. Yeah, because there's actually hotel room services right now taking care of the beds, cleaning the bathroom, putting up new towels, setting up Dan's very elaborate, demanded breakfast service. Oh, I'm going to say my sex swing.
Starting point is 00:01:36 My. Nope. Now what I was going to say, why would I say that, Dan? I don't know. I don't know. You're the one who said it. I am not the one who said it. Dan was telegraphing these elaborate arm motions
Starting point is 00:01:46 that I'm assuming that sex swing, but we just weren't reading it. I mean, in retrospect, I see now how what Dan was motioning could mean sex swing, but the idea is so far outside the realm of my thinking that it just didn't occur to me. So Dan, tell us more about your hotel's only sex swing. You bring with you, I guess, on trips. Yeah, I mean, you have to like break the whole thing down.
Starting point is 00:02:05 It's all like a series of rods and netting. No, it's, you know, it's just like a leather straps, you know, and like, So what do you mean? What do you do? Well, that's for the ceiling. That's for the hotel to decide. That's why I have to get the hotel in the whole, I mean, they don't love drilling into the ceiling, but they will, if you pay them, I know.
Starting point is 00:02:23 How many, how much do you have to pay them to do that? Oh, it's exhorbitant. I guess you don't even want to know. Depends on hotel depends on the swing. And then what do you do with it? I just swing around on it. I don't I don't actually have sex. I just like having a swing. Uh huh. Uh yeah, you use the fact that it's called a sex swing to keep interested parties away from your place. So you're the only one able to sit in it. Yeah, that's right. That's gross. Do you think it's like a rated R type situation where you're keeping the kids out?
Starting point is 00:02:51 Do you think it would be hard? I've never used a sex swing. Let's just get out all their tables out, cards out on the table. All their tables out on the card. I've never used one. I've never seen one in real life. Well, you know, everything I've known about you up to this point would have led me to believe otherwise. I know you, it's nice and it's nice to have this big reveal. Look, you know, everything I've known about you up to this point would have led me to believe
Starting point is 00:03:05 otherwise. I know it's nice and it's nice to have this big reveal. Look, it's a part of, I'm not proud of it. My business card does read Ellie Caelan, erotic adventurer. And I, but sex swings are still outside of my, I haven't yet had that quest yet, but I do imagine that my reaction would be like when I am pushing someone on a swing and my thought is I want to be on that swing. Like I want to be I want to be riding that swing. So I feel like I feel like those things are designed so that just any but you could like you could be in the swing I'm assuming. But I mean that while the times when my
Starting point is 00:03:39 partner is in the swing I'm going to be like I want to be riding the swing like stop hogging the swing. And then you're like now I got to buy two swings. That's how they get you. Exactly, yeah. And then I got, It's like if one guy, if you buy an Nintendo, but you only have one controller, you're like, I got to buy a second controller.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Well, I go over to watch. And they sell them in pairs. I'm gonna play nothing but Mega Man, no. But you had two swings facing each other, and that's how you had sex. You just sort of slammed in and out of each other. But like one of those hanging ball desk toys, that that businessman had in the 80s. those hanging ball desk toys. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:04:05 That businessman had in the 80s. Exactly. It sounds horrifying. Something like a good way of breaking something. Forget I said anything. The other thing is while you're having sex, you've got to keep pumping your legs to keep the swing going. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:16 And like, that's not easy to do. Uh, I mean, it's a good workout like. Oh, it's great cardio. Yeah, I mean, and that guys, I don't think we talk about this on the podcast enough, but do your squats. That's the way you stay out of a nursing home. Be able to get up out of that chair without assistance. That's a good point. Good point. So, Dan. So, obviously, this is a bad movie podcast. I thought this was a sex paraphernalia critical review, I guess. I mean, that would do fantastically. Probably better than what we chose.
Starting point is 00:04:45 And we wouldn't have to change the name. That's two. That's two. That's two. Two podcasts. That's two under one roof. Ah, ah, ah, a one, a two podcast. It is HD Think Sesame Tree has done a count-von count.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Yet, where he goes, let's account to podcasts. A one, a two, too many podcasts. Ah, ah, ah. two, too many podcasts. Aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, of sing like, there's a letter I, and then you're like, okay, well that wasn't really that helpful, but thanks. That's true. I remember a lot of those cartoons as a kid would be like, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B,
Starting point is 00:05:34 what's the narrative thrust in this cartoon? We're trying to figure out what are the stakes, who am I rooting for? Is B trying to get energ on from the other B? I don't know. I'll have to follow. What's the rest of this one? Well, it's all in Sidfield's Sesame Street writing book, where you got to get that letter up a tree. Throw rocks at that letter, and then get the letter down from the tree.
Starting point is 00:05:58 Yeah. So we watch a bad movie, and then we talk about it. And for this episode, we watch... That's that's adorable dance trying to keep us on track a movie said fields uh... that's a short for a city fields that creator missus fields cookies you know exactly we watched a movie called Sherlock nomes now we did we did uh... i think we watched this movie i wasn't fully aware when i started that this was a sequel
Starting point is 00:06:24 to uh... to the film No Meo and Juliet. I mean, you must have been aware that the movie No Meo and Juliet existed. I did know it existed, but I- I didn't know that this was a direct sequel. I think it was until the character No Meo probably was introduced that you're like, all of a sudden it all hits you at once.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Like, it's like- The kinds of social effects. Yeah. I was like, oh, I didn't know this is part of the No Meo and Juliet cinematic universe. Yes, it's like an adventure of social aspect. Yeah. I was like, oh, I didn't know this part of the Nomeo and Juliet cinematic universe. This is like an adventure is a infinity war situation where the classic Romeo and Juliet characters meet Sherlock Holmes, which is what we've all been waiting for.
Starting point is 00:06:54 I mean, it's kind of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, do you guys? Yeah, I guess so. Now, there's less sex in this one. Oh, you better believe it. Less weird Alan War sex. This continues his podcast, Constant Mentioning and Helen Moore's Sexual Friend Looking. Oh, you better believe it. Less weird Alan more sex. This continues his podcast, Constant mentioning about Helen Moore's sexual brother.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Someday he's gonna hear us in his cave in Northampton, England. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll be like, well, I guess that's fair. He'll say it's a dark cop. He'll be roasted. Stick the fuck with me. I'm done.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Alan Moore, I could use a little less right about now. Anyway, Dan, so do you think anyone goes into Avengers Infinity War, not realizing it's a sequel to something else? And it's like, whoa, I am lost, fellas. Who are these colorful characters? This was actually an imaginative movie. It came up with so many crazy characters.
Starting point is 00:07:44 But yeah, Sherlock, so. So so much world building. So Sherlock knows the sequel to No Meow and Juliet, which is the story. I don't know. I haven't seen it. I assume of two. No, as you're the only one who has a kid. I think you're the one who is contractually obligated to have already seen. Now, when every children, every movie that comes out, uh, uh, we have to ask ourselves two
Starting point is 00:08:04 questions before we show to Sammy. One are there cars in it? In case, if the answer is yes, just show in the movie. He'll watch it like a zombie and then over and over again. And then he'll talk about it from months on end. So like Speed Racer? Yeah, Speed Racer, Drive, the Driver, gone in 60 seconds, Bullet, Loneon, French Connection. He loves Ronin, loves French Connection.
Starting point is 00:08:24 We hardly kind of prefers French connection too, which doesn't have that much car chasing it, but he finds Gene Hackman's performance when he is trying to kick Harrowin after being dozed with it once. To be, he's just like this, I say I'm just be like, where was his Oscar?
Starting point is 00:08:39 And I'm like, well, he won for French connection, the first one, and it goes, well, that's ridiculous. They should have saved it for the second one. Sammy really knows a lot about the history of the Oscars. No, just Gene Hackman. Oh, okay. He knows a lot about Gene Hackman. My son's favorite movie is Welcome to Mooseport.
Starting point is 00:08:53 And he also loves extreme measures. Oh, wow. That was the one with Hugh Grant, right? Where the doctors were experimenting on homeless men. I thought extreme measures was the one where Andy Garcia needs to get. Michael Keaton's bone marrow for his diamonds. Oh, maybe that's a different one.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Which one am I going to? Michael Keaton, the serial killer is the only match for his son. Then what's maximum risk? Maximum risk. I think that has something to do with Wesley Snipes jumping out of a plane. Okay, what about total overhaul? Is that a movie? I think that's a house show. Yeah, what about total overhaul? Is that a movie? What about that?
Starting point is 00:09:25 I think it's a house show. Yeah, what about gut, gut, Reno? Is that an actual movie? Gut, Reno? That's John Reno. There's Bigger Brother. John Reno opens a restaurant. It's basically red at two, but instead of a rat,
Starting point is 00:09:40 it's John Reno. And so people are like, I John Reno in the kitchen? Never. Oh man. This is the health department. But anyway, so does it have cars in it? Yes, show it to Sammy. Have I seen it before?
Starting point is 00:09:53 If the answer is yes, and I like it, show it to Sammy. If the answer is no, who knows what? I don't know. You're right, it is extreme measures. I don't know what the, I don't know what the Michael Keaton one is. Like desperate times. Desperate times. Yeah, it's called call for. I don't know what the okay. I don't know what the Michael Keaton one is like desperate time
Starting point is 00:10:05 Yes, yeah, it's called call for Desperate measures maybe maybe it's called it's not nick of time because that's a Johnny Depp It's not it's going on the list of movies it isn't it's not tender mercy. It's that's the Robert DeVal It's not a it's not Elys Gold that's with Peter Fonda. Yep. It's not baby's day out That's with a baby. It's not angels in the outfield. No, it's not angels in the outfield or angels in America to very similar films. Yeah, it's not fat city. That's with Stacey Keach. Dan, should I keep naming movies and the people who are in them? Sure. It's not Thelm on the Wies because that's Susan Sarandon. It's not the Hungryx, that's also Susan Sarandon. It's not Dead Man Walking because that's Susan Sarandon. It's not, Rocky R picture show that's Susan Sarandon. It's not Earth Girls are easy.
Starting point is 00:10:52 That's Gina Davis, who's also in Thelma and Louise with Susan Sarandon. Desperate measures. Desperate measures. Oh my God. So Stuart got it. So there was a lot of time waste. Didn't Sherlock Nomes show he?
Starting point is 00:11:03 So I'm not familiar with Nomeon Juliet. Well, I assume it's a very faithful rechallenged since Nomeo and Juliet are still alive for Sherlock Nomes. Spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen Romeo and Juliet, they don't make it out. So Dan, you're a big Sherlock Holmes fan. This is true.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Tell us a little bit about your love for the great detective. I think it comes from my childhood desire to be smarter than everyone. I think that, I mean, like that's, I just, you would you gave up on eventually? Yeah, I see. That is as clear.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Now I, now my, I just decided to be best, the best at fumbling words. Wow. Something that, and a tangible goal. A joke you also kind of fumbling away. That's how good he's that good man he's the best so sure all comes tell us a little bit about this character
Starting point is 00:11:50 for anyone is not familiar with maybe the most famous character in detective fiction well he lives at two twenty one b Baker Street it seems like not the best detail to introduce him he's the only live somewhere tell me about these tell me about these X-Men characters well they live on brain-malkin lane is the world he lives somewhere. Tell me about these, tell me about these X-Men characters.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Well, they live on Ray Malchin Lane. He's the world, all right. He's the world's greatest detective. Okay. That's a good start. That helps me get a picture of him better. Along with Auguste DuPont, the poll character, he kind of introduced the idea of deductive reasoning to the mystery genre.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Mm-hmm. And before then, it had mostly been what sayances. Or like people. And there was a really like all this. Oh, this like a pd brown. I think it's first, right? Yeah, yeah, that's right. And psychlapedia brown and then wikipedia brown just makes shit up.
Starting point is 00:12:35 His best friend and partner is John H. Watson who, uh, was the age stand for? I don't think they ever established that. So I think I think John Watson. I think that might have been one of those things that like Conan Doyle like says one thing, one time it says another thing.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Another thing. But maybe not. Like how he has an injury that migrates from his leg to his arm depending on what story we're talking about. And Sherlock Holmes is a woman in some of the stories, right? I don't know. Doesn't he die and regenerate into new forms? There's like the first homes, the second homes,
Starting point is 00:13:08 third homes. I think you're thinking of popular character the doctor from Doctor Who. Doctor Who? Yeah. Yay. Sound of a high five. Stuart nailed it.
Starting point is 00:13:19 I mean, I could go on about Sherlock Holmes for quite some time. So maybe don't. The movie begins in the Reagan-Box falls. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Kind of, in a way. Now, Dan, but Sherlock Holmes, quite some time. So maybe don't. So the movie begins in the Reagan-Box falls. Yeah, kind of, in a way. Now Dan, but Sherlock Holmes, so you again did this pretty excited because you love Sherlock Holmes. That's right.
Starting point is 00:13:32 You were like, I can't wait to see how he works in this movie. I think the role of the plates to the gnome. This is a character that hasn't been captured in TV or film in decades. Yeah, yeah. I think he's ever been used. I think he's ever been a television or film.
Starting point is 00:13:45 And also Dan looked at the voice credits for this movie and he saw his favorite actor, Johnny Depp, which was going to be writing the voice. That's right. You said, I mean, I might be paraphrasing here, but you were saying it's not that you like him as an actor so much as you just like his personal life. That's right.
Starting point is 00:14:04 I think he really knows how to handle situations. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I was like, oh, you would never do anything abusive to anyone. I remember you were for Jim as an empathetic. As a sleeper the past few years. As an empathetic and stabilizing influence. I think it's what you were for a Jim ass.
Starting point is 00:14:18 Yeah. And probably it's like completely realistic perceptions of how money works. Yeah, and not like wine. It is not a Hollywood vampire, I think you mentioned. So let's make one thing clear. Nomi and Juliet, these are not like magic gnomes. They are ceramic garden gnomes
Starting point is 00:14:38 who come to life toy story wise because this posits a hideous fantasy world where all garden decorations actually come to life and pretend to not be alive when humans are around. So if you ever had sex in a garden, you were being watched by like a ceramic bird or something. Well, that's, I feel like that's the least likely thing to be concerned about, but I hated to rail the podcast already,
Starting point is 00:15:01 but what's alive in this world, guys? I think everything is the story of a soccer team. Yeah, is that in the story? The crashes in the Andes. Yeah, I think that's, I think we have to assume that the story, the real-life story and the book and film alive took place in the Nomeo and Juliet world. What about the song alive by Seattle's own Pearl Jam?
Starting point is 00:15:21 You got to know it. Yeah, that's the one about how they're still alive. Yeah. Okay. Yes. So in this world, that's the one about how they're still alive. Yeah. Okay. So in this world, what's alive is, I think, human beings, regular animals, although I don't, yeah, we see a squirrel and a dog.
Starting point is 00:15:34 And also anything you would place to decorate a garden. Okay. And also toys. And also Chinese chachki like salt chakers and luck cats. So everything's alive, I guess, this everything except furniture and like weird. Well, anything that could be anthropomorphized, I think is all right. Yeah, I guess, you know what, if it has a face, it's alive.
Starting point is 00:15:54 So, and but that makes me wonder then, if you arrange two eggs and a peep strip of bacon to a face on your plate, does it come to life and scream when you eat it? Yeah. Is it like, well, I ex it's like the whale and the hit track is got the oxy. I exist all of a sudden. What is this world?
Starting point is 00:16:08 No, no. Yeah, yeah. But isn't that all of us really? True. I mean, that is, I find that to be, that's seen with the whale and the hit track is got the oxy. I think is maybe a touch is me more than any,
Starting point is 00:16:18 emotionally, more than any other thing. Because it's literally this character being like, what is this? This is wonderful. There's so many great things. I can't wait to experience life. And then it's dead. And I'm like, what is this? This is wonderful. There's so many great things. I can't wait to experience life. And then it's dead. And I'm like, well, yeah, that's everybody. That's everybody's experience. So see you next time on the flop house. That's right. So why don't you sit down and spend some more of your precious time with us? Yeah, this uplifting world. So we bummed everyone out. We talked about sex wings. Sherlock
Starting point is 00:16:43 Nomes. That's right. So in this world, I think that's a good way to put it in. Everything that can be anthropomorphized that has like features is alive and can talk. Now, we begin with a stupid prologue where the Nomes argue about what story they're gonna tell. We're gonna skip that. It's just an occasion for dumb puns like Spider-Man, Nome coming, stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:17:03 And it's like the rise of fall of the gnome and empire. Yeah, I'm looking gnome country for old man is sitting right there. Sitting right on the table. Yeah, so that's nothing they don't say that. So Sherlock gnome's he's just what he sounds like. He's a garden gnome of Sherlock Holmes and he's fighting his enemy Moriarty who is not what he sounds like. He is the mascot of a pie company.
Starting point is 00:17:25 It's like if a Bob's big boy, but the pie's was evil. And I never quite understood the logic behind this character. They're just trying to make it. I think they just wanted to look like a goofy big baby who's crazy. It has a rolling pin. Because rolling pins in England, of course,
Starting point is 00:17:40 as we've seen in the anti-capcomic strips are weapons of domestic violence. And that's why you need a licensed own a rolling pin. Yeah. Very hard to get a gun. So a rolling pin is really what takes the place of guns in England. And Moriarty wants to smash every garden,
Starting point is 00:17:54 no man, London, and Sherlock Noems is devoted to saving the lives of everyone. Which is in this world mass murder. This is his goal, basically. He is a bad guy. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, that's the thing. You don't have to. Moriarty in like the books is not like, I'm a serial killer.
Starting point is 00:18:09 He just, you know, wants to crimes. Well, this is a crime. Yeah. He's the pulling a crime. Yeah. Now, if he's the Napoleon a crime, is that make sure that comes the Wellington of crime? I mean, the city. It is shitty, everybody. No, don't mean Welley tin. Oh, yeah, then I don't know, who's what, which one are we talking about? Well, it didn't, well, it's, uh, so they have a big fight on a dinosaur skeleton in the otherwise empty British museum. They've this British naturalist museum that let me just take a moment to complain about this. Every room in this museum has one enormous skeleton in it, no other exhibits. And it must have been easier to animate because this is a CGI movie, but it's just huge empty halls
Starting point is 00:18:50 with one skeleton, no information plaques. So are we supposed to just walk into this museum and kind of ponder or deduct things ourselves? I think the way they've moved over to digital age, so you're supposed to like listen to the audio too there's like a qr code that you just like scan on your phone yeah but we're on those really big and everyone's using qr codes there he there's a there's a statue in the town of Sonoma, California, which is a little town known for its wine. There's a statue of the first governor of the town when it was still a Mexican, just was still a Mexican territory, a governor of a Leo or mayor of a Leo, maybe it was a Leo.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Boris Vallejo, the painter, yeah, and Julie Bell is right there. There's a statue of him. The Boris Vallejo statue, that's just a muscle bound man with women clinging to his legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, that's more of a, that's more of a, what's his name? Who's the other big Simon Bissley?
Starting point is 00:19:47 No, not Simon Bissley. Like Frank Frizzetta. Oh, okay. The women clinging to legs is more of a Frank Frizzetta thing. Okay. With Boris Valleau, it's more of a like, oh, okay, he really sculpted the ass of this barbarian. Like, it's really, he really paid a lot of attention
Starting point is 00:20:00 to the glutes on this barbarian here. I mean, he can't shame him for understanding the physiognomy of a human being. No, look, I'm not complaining. Anyway, but there's this statue that they just put up recently of Vallejo sitting on a bench and he has a book in his hand and there's a sculpted QR code just kind of slapped onto this, the book he's holding and it looks very silly. But you can easily miss it. But I feel like in 10 years someone will be like,
Starting point is 00:20:28 what is that on this statue? That's crazy. It's like if you did a statue of, they may put up a statue of George Washington in the 70s and they're like, let's just have him holding an eight-track tape. We'll just have it popping out of his pocket. There'll be a movie in like 30 years or something where somebody's doing like a national treasure
Starting point is 00:20:45 type mystery and it'll be like and see this they're like what the fuck's that like that's something called a QR code they used to use it stands for crazy so anyway this museum it doesn't work right but anyway Sherlock Nomes manages to stop Moriarty the dinosaur skeleton collapses on top of Moriarty everyone assumes he dead, and Watson gives this kind of like mysterious look like, hmm, and it was at that moment that I knew Watson was gonna turn on Sherlock. No, that was exactly the same here. I don't know. Is it three for three here? It was three for three.
Starting point is 00:21:17 So like five minutes in, you're like, okay, so Watson's gonna be a bad guy. We cut to the present day, I assume. I don't know how long ago that was supposed to have taken place. The older couple is moving to London. I assume they're in the first movie because they bring their garden gnomes with them and that includes Nomeo and Juliet. All the gnomes hate the London backyard they're now in. I guess they used to be in a big garden.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Now they're in like a little, what in a city is a beautiful backyard space, but in like a suburb or in the country would be a little like shitty postage stamp. Yeah. It kind of makes me long for seeing the sweeping vistas of the Nomeo and Juliet garden. You really maybe you should pop that in. Now if you were moving from a like beautiful like like countryside to one of these places with like a tiny garden.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Would you bring your garden decorations? Like would you put garden decorations in like a tiny city garden? I mean, there's there is plenty of room for them and the the reason I assume that they're moving is that they can no longer handle the upkeep of a large country home on that kind of piece of land. They're getting older, Dan. Or maybe they have children and and their children have just had a young child, and they want to be close to that young child. Yeah, yeah. And so this is all important back story.
Starting point is 00:22:30 You reach a point in your, the first half of your life, Dan, is the accumulation of things. You're expanding. Your life expands, and with it, you're kind of footprint in the world expands. And then you reach a point in your life where that footprint begins to contract. That's when you, when you the, are getting closer to the ground. Exactly. Yeah. And you start to divest yourself of things, whether by choice or by not.
Starting point is 00:22:51 And I remember visiting my grandmother in a, like, hospital for old people. And she was, like, basically sleeping in a hospital bed. And she just had, like, three things. She used to have this big house full of stuff from her travels around the world, and she just had these three statues from Africa that she had brought on a shelf and like one book. And I was like, oh, like that's what happens when you get to certain ages.
Starting point is 00:23:13 You, to get ready for divesting yourself of your mortal shell, you begin to divest yourself of physical objects. Well, I mean, there's also- Thank you for bringing the podcast back down. All I was gonna say was that it seems like the more likely sequel to Nomeo and Juliet would be them in a secondhand story where they'd been sold off.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Well, let me explain. So they bring these, they're like, these are our children. These are our spiritual children. We have to bring them with them. And now their real kids are gonna be like, we got to talk to Mom and Dad about the God knows. We gotta get rid of these God knows. They can't take care of them anymore
Starting point is 00:23:48 In go get it. I got blisters on my fingers That's from the health or shelter anyway, thanks So we've been among these gnomes are Nomeo and Juliet. They are I'm just gonna say it Are they an annoying couple do you guys? What do you well? do you mean because Nomeo is voiced by like the chaviest James McAvoy? Like James McAvoy, known for being kind of like a cool posh dude, is like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna slumber up with this action. I'm East Endering it up with this one. I'm calling everyone mate.
Starting point is 00:24:18 Yeah, and, well, just, I think more because they like, kind of like joke with each other and like rub noses and stuff. There's a part where they hold, they hold each other's hands and spin around and stars fly out and this goes on for like 70 minutes. I'm ever watching it me like Well, they still spinning around like is this goddamn Elton John song on reap what's going on? That's the other thing. So I didn't I this was a mystery to me until Dan cleared it up for me, is that this movie is obsessed with Elton John. Almost every song in the soundtrack is an Elton John song, even when it doesn't make sense, even the orchestral score includes pieces of Elton John songs. So Dan, what's that all about?
Starting point is 00:24:56 It's co-produced by Elton John's, like, it's called Rocket Pictures or Rocket films or something like that. Rocket Man films. Exactly. Because that's an Elton John song. Exactly. And he, it's like that. Rocket man films. Exactly. Because that's an Elton John song. Exactly. And it's like specifically for family movies. But wait, those aren't true.
Starting point is 00:25:10 What? Rocket man is an Elton John song. Yeah, it is. No, crocodile rockets. Rocket man is David Bowie. No, that's your face on it. You're saying this, man. So, where's space on it?
Starting point is 00:25:21 Wait, what's Rocket man? Rocket man. Rocket man. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da man. Bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada. Cause I'm a rocket man. I'm sinking into my shit. Electric socket man. You got a rocket man. That's a Heinlein rapper.
Starting point is 00:25:36 Don't fight with us. The two big Elton John heads in the room. Yeah, yeah, we're Vodja John-O's. Yeah, we're big Elp butts. I'm taking a time out. We're from the benevolent protected order of Elts. So anyway, so Elton John is a producer of the film, is what you're saying? Yes.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Or his company is. There's a part where you see an Elton John gnome for a moment, you want to see it? Yeah, and you're like, why? And like, I don't... Contemporary reference. Yeah, and I wasn't sure if it was like one of these things where like Lonely Island is with What's his name? Who's that singer that nobody likes? I have no Michael Michael Bolton. Yeah, where you just choose like kind of an older musician
Starting point is 00:26:13 I'm out of the penalty box. Yeah, you remember Michael Bolton? What I like is there are two David Bowie songs you might have gotten rocket man There was I was I was thinking about recently, if you were gonna name the top 10 most influential science fiction writers of the 20th century, I think you'd have to put David Bowie on that list. Like, it's hard for me to think of a big influential, like of any sort of art,
Starting point is 00:26:38 who was that in science fiction, in his work, like, and in a way that I feel like his fans didn't look at necessarily. We look at David Bowie's stuff and there's so much stuff about aliens or like ultra perceptions or things like that. How time can change me, but I can't trace time.
Starting point is 00:26:56 He was gonna do like an adaptation of 1984 in like music form, which turned into diamond dogs out. Which I learned that this is David Bowie, or this is Bowie, whatever it is. Iie whatever it is. I am for the Brooklyn Museum. Yeah. It would take it almost. Great, great museum though. Still worth going to. Yeah. Yeah. They've got some good stuff. They've got, uh, and if you go to the Brooklyn Museum, go to the visible storage section. It's pretty cool. Okay. And then it's a little tip from Ellie. A little tip from Wonderbox. Go away and throw rocks at Dan's window. Yeah. Yeah, smash them.
Starting point is 00:27:27 But anyway, we get to talk about David Bowie later or not. I'm not that big a fan of his. I just like that he's a science fiction guy. Oh wow, now that he's dead. Now that he's dead. Now that the boaster, now that he and I are no longer friends because he's dead, I can finally say what I think, which is that he's fine.
Starting point is 00:27:43 Oh wow. Geez, wow, okay. I just remember when he passed think, which is that he's fine. Oh, wow. Geez, wow, okay. I just remember when he passed, and everyone was like, there's no God anymore. The stars have fallen out of heaven. And I was like, yeah, he's really good. Anyway, it's like, that's the way I feel when like John Cleese passed.
Starting point is 00:27:55 No, but then when Vinnie Paul from Pantera dies, I was like, no! How would I ever walk again? Daniel's like, Sammy, you need to leave daddy alone for a while. Like Sammy at cowboy went back to hell today. So anyway, Juliet's parents, I guess, are like the king and queen of the gnomes. They name Nomeo and Juliet the new leaders, the winters coming. And I guess the, and so that means beyond the wall, the, the ice people are attacked. Some kind of snow zombies. And meanwhile, there's another
Starting point is 00:28:30 known their friends with who has a crush on a statue of a frog. Benny voice by Matt Lucas. Now this frog, by the way, is supposed to be an analog to the nurse from Romeo and Juliet, which I only found out. Benny's supposed to be like Mercuccio, because he's nothing like him. He's not like Tibal, do you hear? I can't remember. I went to the Wikipedia page for Romeo and Juliet,
Starting point is 00:28:54 and all of these characters that don't see anything are supposed to be analogs for characters. Maybe a re-tibolt was killed in Nomeo and Juliet. Maybe somebody had to have been. Yeah. So, okay, so you're saying in Nomeo and Juliet, these characters were created for Nomeo and Juliet, was killed in a no me on julie maybe somebody had to have been yeah yeah so case so you're saying no me on julie these characters were created for no me on julie at not just kind of like stuck in this new movie but they don't really fit okay because I was like
Starting point is 00:29:13 i don't care about this other no man his crush on this frog and the frog is voiced by what's that actress's name that's great uh... from extras and catastrophe yeah what is her name dan you're the one looked at the Wikipedia page. Yeah, but she's playing everything. I'm not sure I come, because I don't retain everything. Maybe you should. I'm going to leave it up real quick.
Starting point is 00:29:31 I gotta say, a lot of this movie... Ashley Jensen. Yeah, she's great. Yeah, she is great. A lot of times people would show up and I'd hear a voice and I'm like, is that fucking James Corden? Yeah, I did that over and over. I thought that more he already was James Corden.
Starting point is 00:29:46 I thought that was James Corden. Especially when he did his known pool, Carrie Nome Key. Yeah. James Corden not in this film, but it is the kind of, but he was in the emoji movie, which we watched. I don't know, we haven't really set up so yet, have we done? No, I haven't really seen it. Okay, so get ready. we will talk about James Gordon and that one, true believe verse face front,
Starting point is 00:30:08 Excel here, as seen in that episode. That's a story for another time, like the giant rat of Sumatra, Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Noms. So Sherlock misses having an enemy now that Moriarty is dead and he clearly doesn't respect Watson. He just doesn't give him any respect. Which turns, I gotta say that Sherlock, I can't believe you just stepped on his
Starting point is 00:30:26 His Ronnie danger field bit over here. Oh, sorry. No, it's too late now. We're Rover dog or field I can't tell which one I think it's just Rover danger field Now that's crazy. I knew character Rover dog or pup as he can tell he's a rope rate is a runny danger field parity Why would I be able to tell that use name has been mangled into comprehensive? His name is a rover dog or phyto Is that a hearty fire scene character? I don't understand
Starting point is 00:31:00 What I was gonna say though. Sorry about interrupting was that like don't be jam sure about his fair play sure comes the original character is and sort of an arrogant cold man but he's still likable in part because of his devotion and friendship with doctor watch now how do you feel about i feel like this Sherlock Holmes is less to take on the stories and more take on the Benedict Comberbatch Sherlock Holmes. Could be. Could be. How do you feel about this understanding of Sherlock Holmes? Much the way that every Marvel hero, like Dr. Strange, is now Iron Man, a wise-ass who is a real fuck up, but he's a hero in the end, even the characters that shouldn't
Starting point is 00:31:37 be like that, like Dr. Strange. How do you feel about every Sherlock Holmes now being like kind of a sociopath who is mean to other people? Yeah, or like Johnny Lee Miller, who's basically old-shelled and like an old version of young-shelled and grown up. Well, that's the second part of my thought is that like glad I teed it up, you're welcome. This Sherlock Holmes is so much less likeable
Starting point is 00:31:56 than Sherlock Holmes because he's such an asshole to his gnome Dr. Watson. Yeah, Dr. Watson. There's no, I just feel like you're watching this thing and you're like, why am I supposed to care about this guy? What, this gnome? Why am I supposed to care about this gnome? This gnome is an asshole.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Yeah. I think that when you're watching a movie and you find yourself asking questions, why am I supposed to care about this gnome? I feel like the movie has failed. In that moment or moment, as you might say, and you just want to go and listen to the work of Klaus Nomi or in the No World, Close Nomi. So anyway, Sherlock is not respecting lots of
Starting point is 00:32:32 gnomes or disappearing again. Uh oh, just like when Moriarty was around. And there's a TV news story about it where they mentioned Sherlock gnomes. And so I'm like, wait a minute. It was the TV news making a joke or Sherlock gnomes famous. I was kind of into it because I kind of, wait a minute. Is the TV news making a joke or is Sherlock Nome's famous? I was kind of into it, because I kind of was into this bit. Because it was like, they seemed like they were kind of, it was a moment of self-aware like winking at the audience.
Starting point is 00:32:55 Yeah, they ended the TV segment of being like, why are we reporting on this? This is not a story. Well, they go like some say it's a mystery. Others, it's a slow news day. So there are a few jokes in this movie that are funny jokes. Yeah. This was a funnier movie than I thought it would be.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Still not, I wasn't laughing a lot, but there were funny things. Okay, so back to the gnomes, we're introduced to the horror that is Mankeene, gnome, who was a gnome wearing a mankeene with like a foreign accent. So it's like, is this a takeoff on Borat? I think it's a Borat thing. Yeah. It's the same thing. Or just the general joke that like Europeans are often wear small swimsuit. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:33 And there's just so advanced. Yeah, that's what we're all be wearing in the future. Yeah. Yeah, let's change out of our silver jumpsuits that cover our entire body. And underneath that silver jumpsuit is a sling shot swimsuit. Yeah, with a, yes, sling shot thong slim swimsuit slim suit. Cause they're very slimming. I mean, you know,
Starting point is 00:33:53 it's juliette is so focused on making the garden work that she's not paying attention to Nomeo. Nomeo is all like, what about a relationship? Where? Where? I'm a baby man. And it's like, and we're supposed to sympathize with the Nomeo here, but there was a party that was like, you guys have a big job to do, like finish the job. Don't, Juliet is still your love, like,
Starting point is 00:34:12 she can be interested in work and not be interested in you. Anyway, Nomeo, there's only one solution. Go on a spy mission to steal a flower for her from a florist shop. Y'all must get caught though. And, uh, just tie into the main plot at all, I can't remember. No, it's what you call a side quest. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:34:28 It got the two of them out of the garden so that when the rest of them all get to do the fight. And also it gives them an opportunity to get mad at Nomeo for endangering himself. So they haven't argument. When they get back, all the other gnomes are gone. It removes them from there. Sherlock and Moriarty show up because Sherlock has deduced that that looking what i'm sorry sure lock and watson well audience left all boy sure lock uh... he thinks more yardies back he's deduced that that garden will be
Starting point is 00:34:54 hit next all the gnomes are gone so now uh... sure lock and watson and there's a more already calling card there right yes there is which is a literally card with an M on the back and a clue on the front. Now to deduce the clue, Sherlock does the first of a few times when he goes into his like memory, palace, and his brain in 2D animation, and I got him at, I love these things. I like this, it's pretty cool. And it was like, they did a great job with them.
Starting point is 00:35:18 They're super inventive. And I was like, oh, right, because 2D animation is amazing, because you can do anything with it. And it does, it made me realize in that moment, I was like, I would like this movie a lot more if it was not a CGI movie. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:35:33 So CGI, I haven't thought about it before, but the CGI cartoons are sort of tethered to reality in a way that 2D stuff isn't. Very much so. With CGI, the choice seems to have made a certain point that the purpose of CGI animation is to get as close to reality as possible. By doing that, you lose a lot of what I'm going to call the plasticity of animation.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Like forms can no longer bend and change because they have to seem real. And I think part of that is because when you're drawing, you can do whatever the fuck you want. You're just drawing a picture. But with a computer, you need to work out the physics and the mechanics of it so that it doesn't look weird and messed up when it's, when it animates. A task that the makers of food fight failed. Yeah, but in a weird way, I'm like, it makes me look back at food fight and go like, oh, at least like the characters and that were looked like weird cartoon characters. They were hideously ugly and awful, but the, but like when it just reminded me like,
Starting point is 00:36:22 oh, like 2D animation, if you look at like the old Warner Brothers cartoons or like old Disney stuff like There's all the non all the non racist stuff the stuff that's not I'm not saying go watch I'll have pingo pongo or anything like a buddy mine did hosted a like a Some breakfast cereal and animation thing where he did a curated like Three to six hour block animation there was animation through decades. Cool. And it started and man I've seen that I've seen that presentation in various forms a couple times and that bit with what's Mark Anthony the dog and the tiny little
Starting point is 00:36:59 feed the kitty. I could watch that fucking cartoon every day. That's a great cartoon. It's not just because of the fetishizing of the housewife with the, who wears high heels while baking stumps. I've seen that cartoon with like a crowd like three or four times and it always works like gangbusters on everyone and like everyone's like on the verge of tears at various points. So when you have one mark Anthony thinks that the kiddie got made into cookies. Yeah. I like. Oh. I'm like, no.
Starting point is 00:37:25 It's, yeah, that's a sweet cartoon. And you're also like Disney cartoon, like this kind of cartoon, it's Warner Brothers. Warner Brothers. Yeah, that's a Chuck Jones. Back in the day when like, they could chop this kitty up. Right? Like, there's a hint of danger. Well, there's, you could, it's, the Warner Brothers would never go quite that far.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Like, what this wherever I've always heard about Texay every was, he left Warner Brothers would never go quite that far. Like, whatever, I've always heard about Tex Avery was. He left Warner Brothers because there was an early Bugs Bunny cartoon he did where Bugs Bunny is being chased by this dog and they fall off a cliff and they're going, ah, and you believe that they died. And then they go, fooled ya, and then it abruptly cuts to black. And what was originally happens that cartoon is they then step off a cliff for real and die for real and it ends with their
Starting point is 00:38:07 tombstones and we're both like we're not really going to kill these characters and text every left and then he went to MGM where they would allow him to kill the characters. There's a screwy squirrel cartoon that ends with screw squirrel having been murdered by a dog and Squish-Roll has X's on his eyes and he holds up a sense of sad, isn't it? But like, so I guess what I'm saying is CGI feels like it has hit a cold assack in a weird way and seeing these two D sequences, weird. It is. It's a peaked at reboot, right? Is what you said.
Starting point is 00:38:35 I said, reboot was the crest and everything else. It's much like when a... It did a long, long moment. It did the direstrate video. It peaked with weird owls, Beverly Hillbilly's parody of the dire straights video. It peaked with weird owls Beverly Hillbilly's parody of the dire straights video. It was like, it was, I just know like problematic verses
Starting point is 00:38:54 in the weird alley, you give a conclusion. I hope not, yeah. He avoids any slurs except for Hillbilly. I mean, you could argue that it's a parody, but still, you know. But there's that, in these 2D animation scenes, there's just like, there's like an inventiveness there that there's all these tiny little Sherlock's running around and like, there's, yeah. You, the dimensions of the screen are moving around a lot and it's, anyway, it just was really
Starting point is 00:39:16 cool. So nice, whoever did those scenes is nice. Yeah, there was a moment where I'm like, I'm going to have to say something that I genuinely like about this movie. Never thought I'd say this, but here's the part I liked about Sherlock Nohms. Anyway, we'll speed through. Sherlock and Watson race off to the next where the next clue takes them, Nomeo and Juliet follow along.
Starting point is 00:39:34 There's a tight-awaited action scene and a sewer pipe set to a guitar version of I'm still standing. And this is when I started realizing there's a lot of El-Jahne's movie. The Watson says they have 24 hours to follow him where he's clues before he smashes all the gnomes. The first glue leads them to a trinket shop in Chinatown. There's a tiny salt shaker voiced by James Heng.
Starting point is 00:39:53 And there's a lot of like luck cats everywhere that they've run away from. It was slightly uncomfortable with the design of the salt shaker, the Asian salt shaker. Yeah, it was I'm quite sure how racist it was. I mean, but James H Hong is great. Oh, James Hong fantastic. I love James Hong's and his comic timings great in it like oh, yeah,
Starting point is 00:40:12 but it there I was like in my notes. I go it's all somewhat racist or is it like I could it made me uncomfortable, but they're he sure lock. He did something back in that place that they didn't like so they chase him out. Umo are used with Sherlock and Juliet takes Sherlock side. Uh-oh So Nomeo runs off with Watson the natural history museum and Sherlock tells Juliet you're probably gonna break up That it's a 98 it goes it's a 99% chance you and Nome you're gonna break up She goes what and he goes well I ran to down a little bit But then they see a dragon. Uh-oh It's a gargoyle that attacks Nomeo and Watson. So gargoyles are alive in
Starting point is 00:40:47 this universe. Yes. Yeah. And do they are they protectors? Well, it's not the cartoons. Not like the cartoon at all. They are big dumb low class bad guys. Apparently they can fly around even though they're made of cement. Okay, Dan, now you raise a good point. How do they get up in the that. Okay, Dan, now you raise a good point. How do they get up in the air since they're made out of cement? I mean, I don't know. I don't understand Bernoulli's principle enough to explain how this works. I would have guessed that was the case. No offense, Dan. If you said to me, well, here's how Bernoulli's principle works. I think my eyes would have popped out of my head. Likely, they were in glasses or else. I mean, I just have to just hit the football. I'm just bouncing back.
Starting point is 00:41:25 I have a basic understanding about it. It's something about how the air has to move faster on top of the wing than below it, which creates lift, but uh... Pardon me while my eyes pop out of my head right now. Uh, so it raises the question. A gargoyle is like literally a block of stone that's been chiseled. Yeah. But so do they have, they can expand their wings and move around. Do they have like skeletons and under structures? I mean, it's the same thing where it's magic. It's like some of the gardenoams, like the smaller, more minion-y type gardenoams, don't, can't seem to move their arms or legs or anything, you just kind of bounce around.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Yeah, and then there's the one, no, who's like attached to the, uh, toilet. He's sitting on a toilet all the time, but then he gets up from the toilet later on. No, he, he jumps up to dance and it's like, but then later gets up from the toilet later on. He jumps up to dance, and it's like, but then later he makes Watson carry him on the toilet. And it's like, dude, we saw you get up off of that toilet. It's just get off and carry your own toilet. So like, it's questionable.
Starting point is 00:42:15 I don't think we can do any harder fast rules about what can or can't work on this universe. Okay, so the Gargoyle's tech, Nomeo and Watson, this is after Watson has dropped another clue that he's a bad guy. He goes, well, we all have our good and bad sides. Sure, lock me. Looks at the camera.
Starting point is 00:42:28 He goes at the camera holds up a sign that says, I'm a bad guy. And Chiuatel J.F.E. or does the voice like, I'm gonna be as ominous as possible. I'm gonna channel my children of Min voice. Oh, look at the movie. So Watson in the conflict plummets Maroof and we hear a shattering, uh-oh, Watson is dead
Starting point is 00:42:47 and Nomeo gets kidnapped. And Juliet is horrified that Sherlock isn't sadder that his friend Watson died. I'm horrified too, as a Sherlock. Well, but there is a Sherlock just in a- So you think he called, I thought it was Lockheed's. I thought they were John Holmes's. It was a Sherlock Holmes face.
Starting point is 00:43:03 That's probably. Yeah, I don't have any other ones. You guys are gazing at me as if I'm gonna contribute. I thought they were John Holmes's is Sherlock Holmes fans Yeah, I don't have any other ones you guys are gazing at me as if I'm gonna contribute They call themselves slide lock foxes. All right, so Dan are you more of a Sherlock Holmes fan or a slide lock fox fan? I'm a max mouse fan person wow really I think you just want to say that Hey, Dan have you ever gone to London and like tried to find two 21 B Baker Street? I did two to one on B Baker Street. Yeah, then the ever gone to London and like tried to find 221B Baker Street? I did 221B Baker Street. Yeah, they've got a museum there. Of what? Fake stuff? Yeah, they've recreated Sherlock Holmes fake apartment. There's like, you know, tobacco and his Persian slipper and Victoria Regina initials. Excuse me. The wall with bullets. Everything from the...
Starting point is 00:43:44 Do you think when Queen Victoria was around, when people would say Victoria Regina, they'd go, because it sounds so much like vagina? Probably. I mean, I don't know. It was the Victorian period. They were oppressed, but they, you know, they had their little stuff going on underneath the surface. That's true.
Starting point is 00:44:00 They were pretty kinko. Much like that, that sex shop kinko. I was so surprised to me how you go to the small towns and then right there in the strip mall there's this sex store called kinkos. That's huge. They're enormous and people just walking in and out. It's locked in and have sex with the Zerix machines. Can I get up here of sex swings that only comes in once? Can I buy two ones?
Starting point is 00:44:26 No. The second one is twice the price for some reason. It's actually buy one, get the second one, much more expensive. Okay, so Nomeo get kidnapped. Juliet and Sherlock, the only thing you can do now is wander through a modern art museum where Sherlock goes to find inspiration and Nomeo and and Juliet realized she misses Nomeo, even though they
Starting point is 00:44:48 had one fight, she still misses the love of her life when he's been kidnapped by a dragon monster. Nomeo finds he's been taken by the Gargoyles to a big gnome dance party. All the gnomes are there and they're having a great time, but he's pretty sure it's a trap. And there's a lot of galops. More Elton John music. Yeah, there's lots of Elton John music. I think it's Philadelphia Freedom is what they're dancing to.
Starting point is 00:45:08 Like a club version. And Mancini, gnome is dancing his heart out. He loves it. It's his favorite thing. It's the a lot of gnome, but. Yeah, this movie, so. And there's a fair amount of like gnome homophobia for like gnome homophobia.
Starting point is 00:45:22 It's your baby to it, Dan. That's directed toward Mancini like the idea. He thinks so. I feel like I it, Dan. That's directed toward Mankeeney, like the idea. You think so? I feel like I don't know. I got that impression that like the other male gnomes were put off by his exhibitionism. Huh. I thought that they're very accepting it.
Starting point is 00:45:34 Yeah, I thought they were all into it. Okay. I mean, the fact that his... Maybe I brought something different with me. That's on me, I guess. I mean, Robin Wood would say that you bring yourself to the film no matter what. No matter what.
Starting point is 00:45:46 No matter what. Or I guess it's not him, but in the essay, the immediate experience talks about how the reviewer has to admit that he is a human being who has gut reactions to things. And so you can't, there's nothing you can watch objectively. You always bring your frame of reference to it. So maybe that's what's going on here. And we all know that. You're very self-in, man, Keeney.
Starting point is 00:46:07 I think that's it. Because we all know Stewart is very uncomfortable with his own body, other men's bodies. So I think that's one thing we know that's to it. Because they seem pretty okay with man, Keeney's butt just being out. But then when toilet gnome stands up for a moment to dance, everyone is horrified by his side.
Starting point is 00:46:24 Because he has a white. Oh, that's what it is. Oh, wait, you're telling me that there is ceramic poop stuck to his butt? It's soup, so. Like what gnome artisan is so, so perfectionist that he's like, you know what, I'm paint, I'm crafting a gnome sitting on a toilet. No one's gonna ever know that this gnome has a little splotch of brown paint on his butt, but I'm gonna know. I'm not going to know it. I'm crafting a gnome sitting on a toilet. No one's going to ever know that this gnome has a little splotch of brown paint on his butt, but I'm going to know. I'm going to know you.
Starting point is 00:46:50 I'm going to gnome. So I have to make sure, like someone hides a little something in a work of art so that only they're going to know about. Here's what I was going to say. I first encountered this film as a trailer before the film Ferdinand, which I took my son to go see because we were... Is there a car in it. There are cars in it.
Starting point is 00:47:07 We were trapped in New York. I'm alone too. I'm alone too trapped in New York. Because there's a mysterious dome around the city and Kevin MacKaleister can't get out and the city falls into chaos. We were trapped in New York. Our flight home had been canceled. It was the coldest winter New York in 100 years,
Starting point is 00:47:27 and we were like, let's go to the movies, we went to see Ferdinand. The trailer for Sherlock Nohms was almost all butt jokes. Mancani's butt, toilet, noam butt, a part where Sherlock Nohms is shaking his butt in front of Juliet, and I was like, oh, come on. And watching this movie is like,
Starting point is 00:47:43 oh, every butt joke in the movie is in the trailer. Like, they know what kids like, oh, come on. And watching this movie, it's like, oh, every butt joke in the movie is in the trailer. Like, they know what kids like. Kids find butts hilarious. Yeah. As my son and adults do. And adults, my son's favorite phrase now is booty butt, which he says all the time, I do not care for. Get him a t-shirt. It just says booty butt on it.
Starting point is 00:47:59 But anyway, so that's. If you take the phrase and put it in a t-shirt, he will grow out of it just like the phrase will wait. I'm trying to turn that into some kind of curse. Okay, interesting. Yeah, trying to weave a spell around this, how to get your kid to stop. Stop saying booty butt.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Yeah. I mean, it's better than the other thing he says a lot, which is about how he's going to cut my hands off and cut my head off and stuff like that. That's just for your old boy stuff. I mean, this is what he said. I mean, this is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said.
Starting point is 00:48:32 This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he said. This is what he kid, the the the the invective I would throw at my mother whenever I was angry is that I was going to crush her bones and throw them out the window. I think I mentioned that. So they good. So show it's probably a trap this dance party.
Starting point is 00:48:54 The Gargoyle seem pretty sinister. And so Sherlock and oh, it's Sherlock and Juliet. Their next clue takes them to a park where Sherlock was once bitten by a dog and they're in a squirrel costume. Yeah, it's like the how to the basketballs reference thrown in there. Yeah, and they get chased. There's a chase scene with the riding lower and Sherlock gets chased by a spectral hound across the mors. Exactly. It turns out that it's not a really ghost. And then Alan DeBoton writes a whole book about how Sherlock Holmes picked the wrong guy in the story, taking advantage of, have you ever ever ever had Sherlock Holmes was wrong? No. It's a book about how Sherlock Holmes picked the wrong guy in the story, taking advantage of, have you ever, have you ever heard Sherlock Holmes was wrong?
Starting point is 00:49:27 No. It's a book about basically he's like taking advantage of plot holes in the, in the story to explain that it was actually a different person who was a murderer and Sherlock fell for the real bad guys. It's like the original honest trailers or something. Kind of, yeah, in a way, yeah, that's exactly what it is. And so, but we're learning that these clues are sending Sherlock to places where he has had embarrassing things in the past that he has to face.
Starting point is 00:49:51 He is not liked at the Chinese trinket shop. He was bitten by this dog. And the next- Is he going to visit a former love? He could go to a doll museum or store something where his former love Irene, named after Irene Adler, right? Yeah, voiced by Mary J. Blige. And also like the person who opens the door for
Starting point is 00:50:07 at Irene Adler's place is Gregson, which is the name of the other big, a Skyland Yard detective other than Lestrade. Oh, I didn't know that. Is there a Lestrade in the movie? No, there wasn't. It was interesting that they went with Gregson. Just I thought they were like, we're gonna be subtle for once in this movie. No, there wasn't. It was interesting that they went with Gregson. Just I thought they were like, we're going to be subtle for once in this movie. We're going to take
Starting point is 00:50:28 the road most traveled. We're going to take the road slightly less travel. Yeah. They also take the road very less traveled in that when going to see his ex fiance Irene, who is a doll, she does not explain anything about the plot, but instead has an entire R&B song about how she doesn't need him and she's super strong now that has no bearing on the plot. And it was one of these ways where he starts like, if this movie was a musical, you wouldn't have to have an explanation for this scene. I just take it and stride. But this movie is not a musical.
Starting point is 00:50:56 This is the only scene where the characters break into song. So it seemed very out of place. It was like if the music man was a drama and then suddenly buddy hackett starts singing Shippupi and you're like what the hell is this? I don't understand why this is happening but in the but because the music man is a musical when buddy hackett starts singing Shippupi you just go well every musicals got one crap song and this is it. Yeah and this was this is my cue to ride that 10 seconds.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Anyway, Irene sits down with Juliet and Juliet while speaking realizes that Nomeo is devoted to her and that he just wanted to get her attention so badly because he loves her. All that sweet. Nomeo, meanwhile, he escapes the gargoyles and their dance party by having his friends set up a play for the gargoyle who loves fairies and princesses to watch. So he can escape and it's during that play that the frog realizes that Benny the gnome has a crush on her because he can't kiss her in the play because he likes her too much in real life. Now Dan, you're an actor. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:58 Did this run and did you run in this situation a bunch of times or your life? I don't want to kiss my co-star because I'm secretly in love with you. I don't think I would have that problem. I mean, that sounds gross. Stay in close. Call up your friends gross about it. Call up your friends gross about it. Call up your friends gross about it. Call up your friends gross about it. I don't know. I can't be. Now it sounds like I'm taking advantage of the fact that I'm in like the play to like... No, but that's exactly why you can't, while you're having trouble kissing. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's the point. You want to be for reals. This is a plot of so many bad comedies, right? Is that the like teenage boy
Starting point is 00:52:25 starts taking dramas and excuse to kiss the co-star? Yeah. I mean, let's write one right now. It's what? That's right one right now. Okay, so interior, the school gymnasium's gay. It's called the Booneer Police. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:40 And that's a pretty drama. That's also the name of the, that's the, the name of the hit song that comes off of the movie from like, like, I don't know, uh, go on, name the sound or something like that. Come up with a contemporary music. I don't have any of Ampire Weekends. Uh, yeah, it's a sort of TV on the radio. Is that a thing?
Starting point is 00:53:02 That's the, yeah, the boner police is the song by Migos. There comes the movie. Awesome. Uh, anyway, and of course, Cardi B has a has a first on it. Yeah, she's got a very. I mean, she's engaged to the guy from Migos. That's
Starting point is 00:53:16 can you name that person's name? Of course not. Jimmy Migos Bobby Migos. I don't know. Felicity Huffman. I don't know. I mean, she just disappears and roll. Who knows she hasn't been remembered Migos all this time?
Starting point is 00:53:31 She can play a man transitioning into a woman. I don't understand. So my husband, what was it? Philium H. Muffman was like, what's the happen? William H. Macy. Yeah, I'm cold air. William H. Muffman.
Starting point is 00:53:44 So Nomeo leaves, but the gnomes are still in trouble. And Mankeen, he gnomes saves the day by having it, by getting the, the gargled dance. So then finally Watson reveals to Sherlock and Juliet. He's been behind all this because Sherlock hasn't been respecting him and he's never treated him like an equal or he used to treat him like an equal. Now he doesn't. And he only thinks about Moriarty all the time. So Watson said all this up, but the gnomes are really fine.
Starting point is 00:54:09 They're not in trouble. Let's go over to the dance party. I set up for them. They'll be okay. Uh oh, that's when the gargoyles turn on Watson. They weren't really working for Watson. Who were they working for Dan? Moriarty.
Starting point is 00:54:22 Who is always not dead. He's never dead. Except I mean in the Sherlock show, he's dead. So he introduced that crazy story about Sherlock's sister, who's crazy and lives on an island prison. That was so much. I mean like, and she's pretending to be a little girl on an airplane. I kind of like it just because it went so crazy. Like, this is going off the rails, but I can imagine if you watched the first episode of Sherlock, and then the last episode of Sherlock, you'd be like, what the hell happened? Like, what happened to between?
Starting point is 00:54:52 It's like, it's like, even Movin just literally went insane. It's the biggest jump between road warrior and road warrior too. We were like, okay, in between movies, a nuclear war ended human civilization. Okay. That was an interesting thing to gap. I guess the juice is precious at this point. I actually said road warrior, road warrior too. Come on, mad Max and road warrior.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Oh, yeah, sorry, mad Max, mad Max too is what I meant. Yeah. Because mad Max too is the Australian tell for warrior. I apologize. Me a culpa, a commit, Sephiku, after this. Okay, let's go to the paper box. It's enough that I have to take my licks right and get it. No, you're right.
Starting point is 00:55:26 And I'm sure the listeners were doing the same thing. They were like, that's Mad Max. I was rammed in their names. Thank you. I am still going to get a tweet that says, hey, did anyone tell you that it's actually Mad Max? My maximum, I'll be like, yeah, damn, in the episode. My favorite thing is when I'll get something wrong
Starting point is 00:55:39 and some of us with me, I'm sure 100 people have already correct you about this. And I'm like, nope, nobody except you. It turns out nobody cares about this thing that's so precious to you. You have to correct it. Welcome to my world. I remember writing into, there was a website where they refer, it was a, I think it was like, think progress or something. And in a blog post, they referred to Ernest Lubich. And I wrote in being like, probably a lot of the people wrote, mentioned this too, but it's Ernst Lubich, not Ernest Lubich, and the author of the post wrote me back and was like, oh no, thank you,
Starting point is 00:56:08 I appreciate that, no one else mentioned it. I'm like, oh yeah, I guess no one else gives a shit. Yeah. Whether Ernst Lubich's name is correct. Well, was that before after Ernest Lubich went to jail? It was after he went to camp before he saved Christmas. Sure. So, more he art, he's like, I'm still alive.
Starting point is 00:56:29 I faked my death and he has them kidnapped, juliet and Sherlock Nohms wants them taken to a boat. They go, when this boat hits Tower Bridge, the drawbridge is gonna go up and that drawbridge is gonna crush all the Nohms. So, you'll be, he's like, you'll be the unwitting cause of their death. And I wanted to select gnomes to be like, in no way am I causing their death right now.
Starting point is 00:56:50 I've been kidnapped and tied up on a boat. I cannot control this boat. It would be doing this, whether I was here or not, you did this. Don't put this, don't put this ceramic blood dust on my hand. But anyway, he doesn't say that. Let's just cut to the chase. When they make the inevitable gritty earnest reboot,
Starting point is 00:57:09 the post-credits scene is gonna have a moment where earnest is like, know what I mean, Vern, and then you're gonna hit like, you're here and then Vern will like step out from behind. And Vern will be like a scary, a pretty scary, something. It will be like the rock or something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:23 That's gonna be awesome. Yeah. No, Vern is gonna or Vern will be like David Hasselhoff or some other ironic casting or something like that. The Gritty reboot of Ernest. Like what would that be like exactly? Oh, it's gonna be rough. It's called like Ernest Avengers Rape.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Like what? Wow. So it's like the crow or something like that. It doesn't get prettier. I said you're Ernest. Is that Ernest spits on your grave. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:47 So what other, how other gritty ways? I don't know. Look, I went as gritty as I could possibly get. Because Ernest goes to the last house on the left. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, all right.
Starting point is 00:57:59 So I'm sorry guys, I got a little too real for you. Okay, so cut to the chase. Our heroes all work together. Sherlock fights Moriarty. Well, Watson saves the to the chase are heroes all work together. Sherlock fights more yard well Watson saves the knowns and Watson proves he can come up with solutions to things. I feel like you can just tack on Ernest at the beginning of most movie titles that it works like hey Ernest don't look in the basement. Hey Ernest, children shouldn't play with dead things. Hey Ernest Sophie's choice. Ernest's list.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Oh no. Imagine if Ernest had been the one saving all those usually on the Holocaust. I feel like that would have worked. I feel like that's the kind of pressure that would bring out the best in Ernest. I mean, he has always proved himself in the end. That is the kind of crucible that creates diamonds.
Starting point is 00:58:38 Even when Ernest was literally scared, stupid. He managed to stop those govlands and save Halloween. With milk. Yeah, it was milk, right? That's the trick. Yeah, gov and take milk apparently. Yeah. Hey, look, most adults don't like milk either. I don't handle it very well. There's a reason that when Sean Penn was starring as Harvey Milk in the movie Milk, a lot of people were like, I don't know about this. And I was like, no, no, it's not the drink. It's a person.
Starting point is 00:59:07 And they went, oh, okay, never mind. That's why Josh Brolin's so mad. He likes the drink. He loves drinking milk. And he's really mad. He can't drink coffee. Okay, anyway, I can see Dan getting uncomfortable as I touch all these hot, blood and issues.
Starting point is 00:59:22 No, no, no, no, I was just so close to the end. Oh, yeah, anyway. And Jinnomeo Julia defeat the Gargoyles, the end and Sherlock risks his life to save Watson from Moriarty and Watson saves Sherlock at the last minute and Sherlock apologizes to him. And you know what, they're best friends again. And Benny and that frog finally kiss each other and then there's a jump forward to spring.
Starting point is 00:59:43 It's the spring day celebration. Nomeo and Juliet are in charge. They did a great job and of course they throw a dance party and Sherlock and Watson are there and they walk off arm and arm Sherlock now limping with a cane as Watson used to use a cane because he heard his leg fighting Moriarty because I guess no garden gnomes have bones that can break. There's a part where Moriarty stomps on Sherlock gnomes his leg and he goes, ah! And it's like, wait, hold on a second. And it's implied that he hurt, like, broke his leg. Yeah. So what did he, wait, hold on.
Starting point is 01:00:13 What's inside of it? Because they're hollow, right? Yeah. What's inside of it? Like, is it chocolate or gold? Yeah. But, uh, and, uh, I have to admit, it was a little touching to me to see them walking off into the distance. Two old pals, friendship back together again, arm and arm, and Sherlock now,
Starting point is 01:00:30 depending on Watson in a way that he hadn't before both physically and emotionally. And thus ends Sherlock Nomes. Did you guys stick around for the bloops? Were there bloops? I fast-forwarded to the credits, there was no stuff. I fast-forwarded to the credits, yeah. I fast-forwarded to see who the voice cast was
Starting point is 01:00:44 because I like couldn't recognize so much of it And I wasn't sure which of how many of the parts you wanted to play Just say James Gordon all I want to be one of those things where there's just all the names and there's a bracket and it just points to James Gordon's name So let's start final judgments whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie kind of like uh, I'll you know, I won't say that this was uh movie I liked and I'm not sure it's a bad bad movie either and it's not a good bad movie
Starting point is 01:01:18 It's not like a movie where you laugh at it's a movie where I just my reaction was why does this exist? It's a baffling move. Then the rhyme, like there's not, like the rhyme is the entire reason for this movie to have been made. And like the fact that it still uses the Nomeo and Juliet characters and it's a crossover, like, and that's our movie. Is this a soda movie? And that's our movie. And that's our movie.
Starting point is 01:01:40 And that's our movie. And that's our movie. And that's our movie. And that's our movie. And that's our movie. And that's our movie. And that's our movie. up several scripts and just threw them up in the air. And Sherlock knows himself would be hard for us to solve this riddle. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:51 LA, you have a kid. Is this the sort of thing that you would put in front of your kid like, so your kid down and be like, this will keep him entertained for a while. Here's the thing. So I agree with Dan, it's not quite a bad, bad movie. I didn't quite like it, but it was better
Starting point is 01:02:02 than I thought it would be. And so when I saw the trailer, I was like, my son has never seen this movie. It's nothing but butt jokes. It looks stupid. But actually watching the movie, I was like, I'd be fine with him watching this. I don't know that it would necessarily keep his attention. It feels like it's so much about whether Nomeo and Juliet are going to stay together and Sherlock Nomes is like deduction. I don't know that a kid would be that interested in those things. And a lot of the jokes are like,
Starting point is 01:02:28 there's a lot of jokes where Moriarty like can't get his computer to work, right? And it's like, how do I share screen and hold on? Wait, let me do it. And like, it's not a joke that I think a kid would necessarily find funny, but and all that like, no word play, like, I don't know. But if Sammy was like, I wanna watch Sherlock Nomes
Starting point is 01:02:43 and I'd be like, all right, okay, that's fine. You can watch it. I don't need to watch it with. Well, I mean, what I lock known, so I'd be like, all right, okay, that's fine, you can watch it. I don't need to watch it with. Well, I mean, what I would do is what I do a lot of times when he's watching TV, which is he says, daddy, watch this with me, and he'll watch his show and I'll just fall asleep next to him on the couch, and then he'll wake me up and he'll go,
Starting point is 01:02:54 daddy, it's over, and I'm like, oh, that was good. And that's kind of like when I watched a Deadpool with my wife. And you fell asleep and she kept nudging you to wake up. Yep, she's like, you're missing all the exciting action moments. He's talking to the screen. So Stewart, what do you think? Would you show your son this movie?
Starting point is 01:03:10 Yeah. I mean, guys, your son is a cat way. You might want to, you might want to hold on to your wigs so they don't flip off. But I think this might be a movie that wasn't made for us. Hold on. Hold on. Wait a second. Approaching middle age men. Probably.
Starting point is 01:03:28 I mean, it's probably more made for us than for a lot of folks, but I don't think it's made for us. So like, it's hard for me to, it's definitely a kids movie. It doesn't, it doesn't feel too offensive. No, there are a couple times where characters do the thing I hate where like something will fall on from the side and they'll go, oh, fertilizer. Like where the joke is that they're not, there's kind of swearing and I hate that.
Starting point is 01:03:52 But there aren't like, do you remember when every kids movie seemed to have a Scarface reference in it? Like every kids movie had a part. Do you think of MTV's Cribs where every crib had like a Scarface room? That's what I think of. No, there was a period where it felt like every kid's movie had a moment where someone would say,
Starting point is 01:04:09 say hello to my little friend, and they'd bring out like a little tiny guy or something like that. And I would be like, stop it. This is a reference to him. This is not a, if a kid gets this reference, the parents have done a big job. And also, that's a reference that I'm almost too young for.
Starting point is 01:04:24 What? I mainly get it because of seeing it as a reference that I'm almost too young for. Yeah, I mainly get it because of seeing it as a reference so many times. It's not like Scarface is so planted in my mind, but like this movie doesn't have much of that. Like I feel like there are, aside from the like almost swearing jokes and the baffling amount of Elton John references,
Starting point is 01:04:41 there's not, there's. It does feel like it was made for like Elton John's grandkids or something or grand nephews. I mean I kind of wouldn't be surprised if Elton John's kids were like his grandkids were like we don't have it. We don't have anything to watch Grandpa Elton and he's like producer movie. Oh yeah. Look we're ball grandpa Elton well, I'll just put a movie into production. So in a year and a half, you'll have something to watch. Yay! Yay! Until then, we'll just sit here and drink our tea and eat our plum jam. Don't go into that wardrobe.
Starting point is 01:05:14 Oh, but they have Turkish Delights in that wardrobe. Whatever that is. I remember, do you guys remember as a kid, do you have the experience of reading the line that was in wardrobe and all those mention of Turkish Del delight and being like, what is this magical candy? That's candy ever. It's got to be the most amazing candy. And though once I understood that sweet meat was not meat, that it was that it was ever so sweet, I was like, what is this candy? This kid is selling out his reality for it.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Yeah, and we had it. It's terrible. No, I've never had. Like, we're like a sweet bread. You're like, I don't think that's bread It's not very sweet and it's not bread of like a gooey cube that is like usually like rose water flavor and sometimes I mean I mean experience where you're like wait What the fuck Santa Claus doing here? My experience of lying the wits in the wardrobe. Oh, I don't think it. I mean, I'm as a Jewish kid, I was always asking that question. Yeah. So it didn't bother me that much.
Starting point is 01:06:09 And... Rolling. The news today is terrible. So why not forget about it while listening to Jonah Radio with Cash Hartzel. Hey everybody featuring Neil Mahoney. Also me. This is a podcast where we play music submitted by a listener. We hang out, we listen to new tunes, and we take submissions at Jonah Radio or a wide
Starting point is 01:06:40 IO at gmail.com. Come and check us out. We're here anyway. Yeah. We'll be here. and that's it back to your regularly scheduled. Uh, podcasts. Yeah, Mark. Hey, buddy. Oh, hey, what's up, man? Um, so I'm at this mafia restaurant What I'm gonna go in and ask these guys what they think the best pasta shape is mark They're probably eating. I have a hunch that it's probably ravioli, but I mean you know what?
Starting point is 01:07:15 That's a good idea. Whatever they're eating. I'll just take a look in their bowls. Why do you think they have maybe? It's supposed to be a big meeting there today. Can you see it from the street? That sounds really dangerous I'm just gonna go inside and ask you. Don't bother them. They're probably eating, you know. I'm not threatened by them. How about we tell them what the best pasta is on our podcast. We got this with Mark and Hal.
Starting point is 01:07:33 Oh, that's a great idea. Hey, God. Tuesday's at nine. On maximumfun.org. Hey, we love that show. Hey there, everyone. We didn't know when this show is going to be broadcast, so get ready, buckle your sheet belts, put your pants on and tie them to something, because it's one
Starting point is 01:07:56 of my solo ad reads. Patent pending. We have a lot of sponsors this week. Well, one sponsor and two jumbo trunks. So if you count the jumbo trunks as sponsors, three of a lot of sponsors. And our first sponsor is Squarespace. Squarespace.
Starting point is 01:08:16 It's a place where you can create a beautiful website. Turn your cool idea into a new website. Maybe you want to write some Sherlock Noems fanfic and get that out there in the world. And hey, if some of it's a little erotic, I won't tell. I won't tell Dad and Mom. All right. You can showcase your work. And now it's an upcoming event or special project. Do a little e-commerce, you know, sell some stuff. All that stuff can be done in the Squarespace. Because Squarespace gives you beautiful templates created by world-class tonight designers
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Starting point is 01:09:33 Squarespace. Hey, we got a couple jumbo trams here. This first one is a little weird, and it goes like this. Everything is bad. Baskets are very bad. R's are especially horrible. Please don't look at me. Also Valhalla rising rules and Snoopy or Sir is the only thinking person's sci-fi movie
Starting point is 01:09:59 in decades, except for how egg day is somehow cooler than sushi day, and also somehow they're the same day And how eating bugs is somehow grosser than eating babies, but I mean both of those do make you think so and their call to action Is to visit shitty baskets dot com dot net and browse our terrible home goods now You heard me right. It's shittybasket.com.net. So the dot com part is written out with a DOT CLM and then there's a period net. So that's that jumbo tron and I hope you understood it because I don't and here's this next one
Starting point is 01:10:47 It's a personal message. It's for Remy. It's from Bill. I think I know these this Remy and Bill Good luck to you on your marathon this fall or if you can't do it this time for some good reason good luck when you do you rule I'd like to add my voice to this. Good luck, Remy, good luck on your marathon, you rule. So those are all of the promotions for this episode. Sorry is always for me. And let's get back to the episode. So moving on to letters, we have the first one is from Delmar, Delmar, Delmar pizza last
Starting point is 01:11:29 day withheld. Yeah. Now guys, let me just take a minute here to say I should be doing an Elton John inflected letters song. Hold me, read me closer, tiny letters or I can't stop talking about that letter dial rock. Also be crock a letter rock. Letterman. Letter Day.
Starting point is 01:11:46 Yeah, letter day. Yeah, letter day. Letter day night saw right for letters. Or like what else? I believe in letters or something like, can you read the letters tonight? I know it's not letters. Or like, the letters and the jets, but it turns out,
Starting point is 01:12:06 I thought it's Benny and the Lets. Benny and the Lets is, well, the people think that's about Tracy Lets. Benny Tracy Lets, he's writing lots of plays and lady birds, he's doing stuff and then he does things. Tracy, Tracy Lets, but here's the thing, I just don't know that many Elton John songs. So I just can't do this Elton John letter parody
Starting point is 01:12:27 everyone wants me to do. So I apologize. All right. Anyway, also, also wait, wait, if I read a letter, but then again, no, if I read a letter in a traveling letter show, like a letter in the wind.
Starting point is 01:12:44 I hope you don't write. I hope you don't write because then I'll have to read. Oh, that's really good. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And I guess that's why they call it letters. I should've said mailbag. That fits the blues. So I guess either one sounds like the blues. That's being clicker. But I guess, but I guess I guess I... It's being charitable to himself. I guess I just don't know enough Elton John songs when it comes down to it, so I just can't do that.
Starting point is 01:13:13 All right. Good bit. Anyway, peaches. Due to its practically holy status to Flop House lore, I've recently visited a Popeyes. While there, it occurred to me that if Elliot were to be executed, his last meal would definitely involve some good, good Louisiana fried chicken.
Starting point is 01:13:29 Hell yes, I've thought about it many times. When I tried to think of- Here's my last meal guys. Yeah. I want Popeye's fried chicken. Get me a prime rib from Keynes and New York in Manhattan. It's not gonna taste the same if you mail it to me. So you gotta take me out of jail
Starting point is 01:13:42 and take me to Keynes like the full experience. Lobster bisque, that's what I like to get as the appetizer. Then I get my prime rib, rare plus. Nothing green anywhere near that plate. I want to point out my signed pipe that's in the display case in the front, a lot of all the other comedy pipes. And then I'm going, yeah, no green things, is that for cream spinach?
Starting point is 01:14:00 Yeah, then I'm going to go, it's delicious. Oh man, I'm sorry. As I mentioned before on this podcast, my I can't handle milk stuff. So people talk about it makes me a little upset. Probably some kind of potato on the side. It's a steakhouse. You need to have potatoes on the side. Then, and you know what? I like asparagus. A lot of people don't think of that as a steakhouse staple that I like it. Then, okay. For the pea. Then it's off to Popeyes. I already got a prime rib in my tummy, but it's time to have like probably eight or nine pieces of mild Popeyes chicken.
Starting point is 01:14:29 I want it fried up right then, not sitting under the warmer lights for a while. Little bit of red beans and rice. And then, it's off to eat an entire molten chocolate cake. And then, strap me into old Bessie and lightly up. It's time to ride the lightning into the, into the Netherlands. You're a couple of locals,
Starting point is 01:14:43 and as the electricity adds to you. Couple of coaks, what do you? Oh yeah, yeah, I'm drinking coke all time. Maybe a couple, you know, like, you know what, I'll even try some of those weird hand-made sodas. No, I don't want that. My last meal, forget it. I just want, give me a four liter bottle of Coca-Cola
Starting point is 01:15:00 and I'll just chuck that on down. To move on to the rest of the letter. When I tried to think of what meals steward in Danwood order, I drew a blank. So fellas, what would each of you have for your last meal? Am I right? The Popeyes is just too tempting for Ellie to pass up. Well, first I would go to our teens. No.
Starting point is 01:15:18 Yeah. Uh, let's see. What would I have for my last meal? I think I might have a little a little fatty barbecue brisket. Oh yeah, that sounds good. Just a little bit, because you're watching your figure before you die. A lot.
Starting point is 01:15:31 I mean, as long as I'm going, I saw I'm going to the barbecue route. I'll just keep on going with that. Maybe have some sausage. The ribs. Ribs. Some Prido pie. Oh wow.
Starting point is 01:15:44 Oh, sure, yeah. You're not, look. I'm still, I don't need to watch my figure anymore. Yeah, a minute on the lips, a lifetime of eternity in a coffin. And then for dessert, I think I would have a big slice of strawberry rhubarb pie. Slus pizza.
Starting point is 01:15:58 Slus pizza. Strawberry rhubarb pie. Probably a little with a little, you know, ice cream on the side. Uh-huh. What if it was pizza with ice cream on the top of it? Uh, it would be gross. I mean, what if it was? I know.
Starting point is 01:16:11 I'd have once had pizza with mashed potatoes on it. Yeah. And it was delicious and mashed potatoes looks kind of like ice cream sometimes. Okay. Well, I guess you checkmate for me. Uh, and what are you washing all that down with milk? Yes, I'm big old glass of milk. milk. I mean, I don't know. I mean, like milk might not be bad with a pie.
Starting point is 01:16:29 I know you don't like lactose, but yeah. I would have like, I mean, like, I would either go with iced tea to keep with the barbecue stuff or I would have like some like, I mean, he'd probably be good dinner come right with stories on the rocks. Wait, what's on the rocks? I don't think they're gonna give you alcohol. Maybe they do. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:16:50 Do they give you alcohol before you get killed? I'll ask the warden. Okay. Jack Warden. The late Jack Warden. Yeah. Warton the college? Yeah, yeah, you'll ask Warden.
Starting point is 01:17:01 You'll ask me to support you. I probably do, I probably do Indian food. I would probably, like a family style, just give me a lot of everything. I have a tendency that's Indian foods, one of those things where my brain kind of shuts off the like stop eating function. And so by the time I'm done, I'm like,
Starting point is 01:17:19 oh my God, what did I do? I don't know if I can make it home. That's me with Chinese food. My brain is just like, oh yeah, your stomach is a bottomless bag, right? Just keep shoveling Chinese food in there and then I get so full of my stomach hurts. So like, oh, you know, when I like to mix it up,
Starting point is 01:17:35 so you got your beer yonnies, you got your boonas, you got, I'd have a couple of lamb dishes, a couple of veggie dishes. I like okra, give me that okra, yum yum yum. And dessert, I would drink a six-pack of beer. Yeah. All right. Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 01:17:55 Well, guys, good news. We've been sentenced to death. Oh, cool. So we're all going to get our special meals. All our dreams are coming true. Yeah. This next letter is from Walker, last name withheld with help. Comment Texas Ranger. I was waiting for that Who writes dear floppers? I have a distinct memory of going to the video store with my mom as a kid
Starting point is 01:18:13 That's a door that's wonderful when next letter I mean, that's sweet. You have those special memories And admiring the box art and design of Wes Anderson's Rushmore When she said she was looking for something to watch, I told her to get that one and she did. The next day I asked her what it was about and she told me a high schooler who falls in love with this teacher and at the end he dies of hypothermia
Starting point is 01:18:35 trying to save a guy from drowning in a lake. Wait, what? This really stuck with me. And when I eventually watched Rushmore maybe 10 years later, I spent the entire time waiting for a sudden tragic turn that never came. I have two questions. One, have you ever had misinformation about a movie or is ending effect your viewing experience just as much as an actual spoiler might have? And two, what the hell was my mom talking about? Thanks
Starting point is 01:19:00 Walker last name withheld. Yeah, very, that's like, when I didn't do the reading and somebody explained to me what happens in bridge to terribidia. You're like, wait until they never get to terribidia. Oh, what? Yeah, I had a situation like that with, what was it? The Dark Knight rises, which I, the third.
Starting point is 01:19:20 The third one? Yeah. So I had tickets to like a fancy iMac screening, but it wasn't until just- Fancy like you had to wear a bow tie? Yeah, it was black tie on one. The third one, yeah. So I had tickets to like a fancy iMac screening, but it wasn't until just- Fancy like you had to wear a bow tie? Yeah, it was black time. And it was a couple days after release. I think it was like the Wednesday after release.
Starting point is 01:19:34 And I had gotten off a bartending shift and I was in the bodega getting a sandwich and some drunken guys were talking about it. And one guy's like, yeah, and then being breaks Batman's back and kills him. And I'm like, fuck, dude, what I have to hear this. So I went in being like, wow, Batman's gonna fucking die from a broken back in this movie. So that totally changed my perception. He's sitting, he heals himself from a broken back. Yeah, I mean, he's Batman too.
Starting point is 01:19:59 He can do anything he wants. I realize something, I was just thinking about this for some reason in the shower the other day, that at the end of Dark Knight Rises, he and Catwoman have a spoiler alert, have escaped to Italy and are just living a private life. And it was almost like the idea that Batman, after saving Gotham from that neutron bomb or whatever it is, was like, you know what, I've done enough crime fighting.
Starting point is 01:20:20 I feel like I've filled the gap left by my dead parents. I'm good, I'm calling it quits now. Like the idea that- I mean, I think it's possible for that character to reach that point in this lot. I mean, for a normal- That's all I can hope for. For a normal person, I think he is totally fair,
Starting point is 01:20:34 saying like, I did my part. You guys do the rest. But it just seemed very funny to me that Batman who's presented is this like this unending need for justice that he was like, hmm, I think I did it. I mean, I nailed it. There is various plot points aside.
Starting point is 01:20:49 I'm assuming that's one of the reasons why Die Hard Batman fans don't like that movie. Yeah, I mean, wait, was Batman in a die hard movie? Yeah, yeah. You might know him as Hans Groober. Wait, he's the bad guy. He is, it's crazy. Now I so want to see a die hard,
Starting point is 01:21:04 I'd like to admit John McClain, Batman, crossover. I don't feel like you would be satisfied with the results. No, I don't. I mean, I feel like that kind of an ending for Batman is better than Joel Schumacher's argument where he's like, it's been a long time. I think Batman would get over the death of his parents. Why is he like brooding about it all the time?
Starting point is 01:21:24 I mean, except that like, there is something like, I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine who I won't mention by name, but his, whose father was murdered similarly when he was a kid. And he was like, yeah, I had to deal with it. I didn't dress up in a costume and go fight crime. And I was like, actually, you make a good point. A lot of people have to deal with the death of their parents
Starting point is 01:21:43 and they don't do it by dressing up like an animal and punching criminals. But I mean, that's like defining the character though. That's like being like, hey Batman, what you're doing stupid, like okay, movies done. That's true. That's true. As for Rushmore in particular,
Starting point is 01:21:57 I may have told this story on the podcast before, but I remember. You thought it was about Guts and Borglum sculpting Mount Rushmore. Well that was, that note on the on the dvd for uh... rush more they have a charlie rose interview from the charlie rose show and charlie rose is talking to jason swatzman and and west anderson and he keeps saying like
Starting point is 01:22:17 oh you know max fishers this young man who wants to have his face on rush more and like they never go like what they never go like what the hell are you talking about? But I think it's in Rawl Tenon Boms. It's like, there's in a later Wes Anderson movie, there's something that's clearly a parody of Charlie Rose. And I think that that's the result of like Charlie Rose, just like not-
Starting point is 01:22:39 Not understanding. Watching the movie or whatever happens to make him do that. I don't know if, don't, I don't, I don't can't remember something where I like, it was given the wrong ending and it threw me off, but I remember, I may have talked about this on the podcast for what was that, what's that movie with Steve Gutenberg
Starting point is 01:22:53 where it's all his Irish ghosts? High spirits. High spirits. With Pierrotool. I remember that coming out when I was a kid, and when I was little, and a kid being like, oh yeah, I saw that movie, High spirits, and I was like, what happens in it?
Starting point is 01:23:04 And he told me the most horrifying tale of like sexual violence of like women being stabbed with between the legs. He's like, yeah, yeah, this woman, it's 100 years ago and she's in this guy like stabs her in her private parts and all this terrible. And he's like, goes on and on describing this horrifying story and it like, for years, I would see that in the video store
Starting point is 01:23:24 and be like, oh, I can never watch that movie. Like that's terrifying. And then getting to a point where I was old enough that I like, they're just like, hold on a second. How is that in any way what could have happened in this deep good mood movie? And just wondering, I don't remember who the kid was, but I remember so vividly the story was on me.
Starting point is 01:23:38 And I just were being like, whatever happened, I kid, what was living in that boy's brain? Yeah, where is this skull traveled to? Although to be fair since my son is nonstop talking about chopping my body into pieces and shoving things in my face, it might just be what little boys talk about. Is the most violent thing they can think of. This next letter is from Henry Lys. Johnny Ryan's made an entire comic book career out of that.
Starting point is 01:24:00 That's why. Book of Henry. Yeah, Book of Henry writes, Dear Flippity Flops, what are your favorite edits for TV? I'm specifically thinking audio, but maybe there's some good, bad, confusing cuts out there too. My favorite was a broadcast at the Bigelbausky
Starting point is 01:24:14 when Walter is confronting Larry about the missing million bucks. Instead of, this is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass. It says, this is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps. Keep doing whatever it is you do between flop housing when you find a stranger in the Alps. Keep doing whatever it is you do between flop housing, a stranger, not in the Alps.
Starting point is 01:24:28 I think my favorite, I've two favorite edits. One is because when I was a kid, we watched Ferris Bueller all the time and we have the TV version. So there's just the part, a lot of like, this very obvious ones, which is like, I'm not saying Cameron is tight, but if you took a put a piece of coal in his fist in a week, you'd have a diamond when the line is up his ass. Yeah. Or he goes, pardon my French, but you, sir, or a moron, and just as a kid being like, not that bad.
Starting point is 01:24:53 But there's, I remember seeing a TV edit on like WPAX, the Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and they didn't want to show someone masturbating on screen. So it looked like Phoebe Kates actually was trying to seduce Judge Ryan from his character. And then it came back and it went to commercial. Like I'm like, are none of the characters talking about how Phoebe Kates was just like coming out to Ryan's judge Ronald? Like the idea that this is a fantasy of his was totally erased. How did they even edit that? I mean, like that's just so much about Phoebe Kates's breasts, like how they like reframed the shot kind of so that seems like a lot of work for that movie. Yeah, I mean, at that point, just don't put the movie on WPI X, but.
Starting point is 01:25:30 I mean, I think my favorite one was just coming to America when he's yelling out of his balcony when people are yelling fuck you, they're all yelling forget you. He's like, forget you too. Yeah. It's a moment of love. Yeah. It's great. We had coming to America, we had it taped off Yeah. It's a moment of love. You know, it's great. It's weird. Coming to America, we had it taped off HBO.
Starting point is 01:25:47 So I got all of that. That was when we were kids. These are the movies we watched. Teen Wolf coming to America, first-bealers day off, the dark crystal and grandma and ghost busters. Those are the only movies we watched. I think when we first got cable or satellite dish or something, that when we first got Comedy Central,
Starting point is 01:26:06 coming to America was on Comedy Central. I see. So they probably cut out the part where he was taking a bath also. Yeah. I mean, I read one last very quick letter from Mike last name withheld. Mm-hmm. Mike in the mechanics, who just writes. I was the same Mike in the mad dog.
Starting point is 01:26:22 Ben Diesel and Eddie Deezin in. Deez nuts. That's the way right. Vin Diesel and Eddie Deezin in, Deez Nuts. That's the way right. Yeah, I'll watch it, sure. There are a couple of orderlies. No, I would love, so in that one, I assume Eddie Deezin is Vin Diesel's dad in the movie, or maybe like.
Starting point is 01:26:37 They're not the same age. Eddie Deezin's a little bit older than Vin Diesel. Seeing how Eddie Deezin's heyday was the 80s. And Vin Diesel's heyday is right now. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe what maybe that like. Capable plan high school to 35. Actually, I would call it Deez Guys.
Starting point is 01:26:55 Here's how I'd pitch this movie. Vin Diesel is a super spy. He's basically like a Xander, what's his last name? Xander Cage, Fast and Furious type guy. What's his Fast and Furious character?. What's Fast and Furious character? Rollo, Tomassi or something? Baby Neuerth. People are shouting into their eyes.
Starting point is 01:27:11 Sweet, sweet Donnie Pickles. What is it? They had it, but then the delusion fake name. Ricky Steamboat. I was driven it for my brain. Dominic Toretto. Oh yeah. Toretto.
Starting point is 01:27:22 Yeah. Toretto. So he's one of those types of characters. He's an average guy. he's one of those types of characters. He's one of those types of characters. He's a super tough guy and Eddie Deezle is his uncle and Eddie Deezle is like for whatever reason he can't pay his bills. He's thrown out of his house or something like that and he's got to go live with Vin Diesel and Vin Diesel and he just won't, he like wants to hang out with his nephew because they
Starting point is 01:27:44 never really got to know each other. And so Eddie Deeson is trying to tag along with Vin Diesel as he goes on like a big spy mission. Oh, okay, I'll... So that's what I, and you probably wouldn't call it D, you probably wouldn't have D as the title because they wouldn't be playing themselves. And Vin Diesel is trying to like, he's trying to use his uncle's cover so they go to like Monaco or something. Yeah, yeah. And it's under the, you know, illusion that they're going on a vacation together, but it's actually, you know, it's actually a spy thing, but Eddie Deeson doesn't know. He has to keep a secret that he's a spy.
Starting point is 01:28:13 Yeah, that makes sense. And Eddie Deeson keeps like stumbling through these spy things and be like, oh, this is great. I know. You know, that kind of stuff. And maybe the bad guys think Eddie Deeson's the spy. I'll, if we should kill. Exactly you kill exactly yeah, that's the move and I would call it like Deez nuts, I think we already talked about yeah, Deez nuts like or like the spy's uncle or something like
Starting point is 01:28:34 My nephew is a spy spy's uncles like the John Laker avers All right, so that was a great later segment guys A plus. Okay, thanks for the grade. I'll just put that on my wall. Yeah, on the fridge right now. Any comments? Just as great George. I could have remembered.
Starting point is 01:28:58 Great. Even when he's writing, you can't say it right. That's weird. Okay. Not even excellent. Mason book. Even when he's writing, you can't say it right. That's weird, okay. Not even excellent. I don't know what a Jorbiz, but I didn't really allow. But we got to do our last segment of the show, which is recommendations, movies that we watched that you should watch probably instead of Sherlock Holmes.
Starting point is 01:29:22 I almost said no to me, Juliet. It's hard to not. It's hard, yeah, especially since we haven't seen the first one, so I don't have a separate movie in my head. So they should have called this no me, and Juliet to the rise of Sherlock Noems or something like that. I think that makes sense.
Starting point is 01:29:36 Yeah. What do you think the third movie's gonna be? I mean, no country for old men's possible. That's pretty good, yeah. I mean, I already said the rise of all the Nome and Empire. That was my best one that I could come up with. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Nome. Chomskies. Yep. Yeah. It's called Nome Chomskies. Yeah. The theme song is a parody of Durandarans. Is there something I should know? Who could it be known? Yep.
Starting point is 01:30:06 Who could it be? Nomes. Who could it be? No. Immediately regress. Yeah. So Dan, are we going to recommend some movies? Sure.
Starting point is 01:30:17 I'll recommend one. Yeah. I'm going to disappoint everyone, even though I came to Seattle on a plane. The only move I watched on the plane was alright. It was okay. Wow. Okay. You know, somebody even say this is information that doesn't need to be related to the listeners. I think people were. How was your snack on the plane, Dan?
Starting point is 01:30:38 People here that I've been on a plane and they're curious to see if I watched a movie. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I did watch movie. It was Battle of the Sexes. And it was alright. I did watch movie, it was Battle of the Sexes, and it was all right. That's what I've heard about Battle of the Sexes. That's just okay. So instead I'm gonna go the other direction
Starting point is 01:30:51 and not surprise anyone, do a really obvious pick, which is I saw Incredibles 2 on my birthday, and it was predictably very good. Now, were you like the New Yorker's Anthony Lane, totally turned on? I was totally boned out, but I'll ask you, girl. You couldn't hold onto your popcorn because you were so sexed up by what you were seeing. I stole someone else's popcorn because they didn't have any popcorn.
Starting point is 01:31:12 I put it over my boner, then my popcorn went flying. Now, I wonder why you stole some of that? You didn't flew off your body? Yeah. Well, there's just so much sproing. Yeah, when his penis, when his tells you to go out as it does. Do you see the popcorn flew off your body or the boner flew off your body? Yeah, it's such a power of a boner that it managed to fling itself off of his body.
Starting point is 01:31:36 With a tearing sound like a freak. Yeah, like a Greek myth. It's imbued with life. Yeah, much as the if the discobulus came to life and finished throwing that discus, it would fly off into the horizon. That's what happens with Dan's erection. So credible, too. Boner Fine.
Starting point is 01:31:53 Totally boner Fine. Okay. It was a good movie. Yeah, I think that it suffers a little from not having as straight ahead a story as the first movie. Like, it has a little bit of like, sequelitis of like, why exactly are we telling this story? Does it need to be told again?
Starting point is 01:32:09 Are there two villains in it? I don't wanna spoil it. Okay, don't spoil it. Cause I know I'm not a huge fan of the, it's the next movie in the series, we gotta add one more villain to the total number of villains. I think the strongest thing about Incredibles 2, though, is- Is Mr. Incredible.
Starting point is 01:32:23 Cause he's super strength. He's got a good point. Yeah. All right, the second strongest thing about Incredibles to those is incredible. He's super strength. He's got a good point. Yeah. All right, the second strongest thing is the action sequences. Because it's done in animation, it, like, it has the craziest, most kinetic clockwork action sequences and Brad Burr is very good at working that stuff out. And it can do stuff that, like in a normal superhero movie, I'm like, I'm kind of sometimes feeling like, what's the physics of this thing?
Starting point is 01:32:50 Like that, even if they're superheroes, that wouldn't happen that way. While there's people, you're like, who's stronger, Aquaman or Cyborg? But in an animated movie, like, because the physics is so- Because the physics is so- Those are the two, you're like,
Starting point is 01:33:02 I don't need to know about the super strongest guys. We're not the guys at the middle level. Who's the strongest of them? Huh? Well, when you see like, when Vulture ranks, like all the Beatles songs ranked, I don't care about what they think the best song is. I think it's the best thing about Vulture, the super middle.
Starting point is 01:33:16 Yeah, yeah. Why are we just gonna pinions on fucking Beatles? So when I go to age, when I go to Adrian Toom's blog, and he ranks all the episodes of the Rockford files. I'm not interested in what's the top of the bottom. I can guess those. I wanna know what's in the middle.
Starting point is 01:33:30 Yeah. Yeah. I know. Look, you're gonna rank all the Beatles songs. I know you know my name, look up the number. It's gonna be number one. And I know that most of George Harrison's more experimental or John Lennon's
Starting point is 01:33:41 experiments songs will be at the bottom. So look, and it's like if you ranked all the beach boy songs, you know, Co-Como is dead last because it's the worst song in human history. This is a I had a moment recently. Apparently my son, my wife had to text me about this that there was a ice cream truck playing Co-Como and my son turned her and said, what's this song? This is a good song. And it cut me to the quick. Yeah. Anyway, so you're saying Cradibles 2 little bit of sequel like this, but otherwise the strongest
Starting point is 01:34:10 thing is the action sequences because Brad Bird knows who he's doing. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty much all I'm saying. It's fine. I think it's totally boner-fine. Super worth seeing though. Super worth seeing because it's a super hero movie. I think you're right, Elliot. Give me another plan. Give me another superhero plan. It's superb. Oh, wow. I mean, there are other words than super. You gotta call it high flying or something like that. Okay, I got you. I don't know. That was the world's my sandbox. Yep. Very much so. Okay. Elliot, what are you recommending? I'm gonna go the opposite route,
Starting point is 01:34:47 and I'm gonna do something a little different for me and recommend an old movie. Okay. So I recently watched a movie called The Purchase Price from 1932. It's a Barbara Stanwick movie from this period when in the early 30s, when Barbara Stanwick was making these kind of super short movies
Starting point is 01:35:02 about women forced to kind of find their own way in the world. This movie, she's a singer and a club who is dating a mobster, but is engaged to a rich heir to a rich family. When the heir finds out she's been dating this mobster, she breaks up with the mobster. The heir finds out she's been dating a mobster and dumps her. The mobster wants to get back together with her. She wants to escape. She runs off and through a series of events becomes the male order bride
Starting point is 01:35:29 of a wheat farmer out in the country and has to deal with suddenly being in this strange position where she is married to a man that she doesn't really know. And also the man starts to doubt. She suspects her when she doesn't give herself to him on the first night. And so she has to figure out how does she win his trust back and also does she want to be there. And eventually it all hinges on whether his new wheat strain that he has been breeding, whether they can successfully cultivate enough to save the farm from the bank. And his movie is 70 minutes long. And it has so much random plot in it and Barbara Stanwick is great in it And it's directed by William Wellman, so there are sequences that look fantastic
Starting point is 01:36:11 There's just like a lot of interesting shots in it But it feels like I'm a big fan of Guy Madden And it feels like the kinds of movies Guy Madden is drawing on a lot where the plot does not follow a straight line It is all over the place and it is more like It's almost more like a sequence of scenes or moments that are only tenuously connected in some ways, and the ending is so abrupt, and the emotions are so strange. The man she becomes married to is such a jerk, and she becomes so devoted to him.
Starting point is 01:36:40 That's the one thing I found really problematic about it, is that she falls in love with this guy who's just a total asshole to her, but I but it's it My the 30s is my favorite time in a minute's kind of Empire Strikes Back to yeah, I mean most movies Yeah, the 30s is my favorite time in Hollywood history partly because they were making these movies They were churning them out so fast that like there's this weird dream logic to a lot of them and I don't want to overstate How weird this movie is But you watch it and you get kind of whiplash a few times of like what is going on in this movie?
Starting point is 01:37:10 And I was like the mobster is still looking out looking for her And it's like if this movie was made now she would go to the farm This mobster would catch up with her and the got the the husband would have to fight the mobster to save her and like Prove himself that way and the mobster would be a real threat and instead Events just kind of like happen anyway. I don't know. It's a anyway I enjoyed a lot but it's a movie that you can't watch through the eyes of a modern-day movie viewer or if you do you want to watch it through the eyes of someone who's ready for Just kind of things to happen and to dissipate as they do you know like as they will in the movie So it's called the purchase price. I enjoyed a lot, but you don't like old movies. Oh boy, just go watch,
Starting point is 01:37:48 know me show like a key walk. It's in black and or white. So I got two quick recommendations. The first is a movie called assassination games game. I can't remember which one. It's a action, a cheapy action movie starring my man Scott Adkins and Jean Claude Van Dam so like the modern Jean Claude Van Dam and the old Jean Claude Van Dam This is from I think 2011 and Scott Adkins is cracked cranked out a lot of these action movies some of them are really great like You know Ninja 2 shadow of a tier and I think Close Range was the other one I really liked. This is a little older. The action scenes aren't quite as good, however. It's worth watching, if only for the completely unbelievable villains that are in the movie, like the Interpol agents. Totally aren't believable as Interpol agents,
Starting point is 01:38:41 and the mobsters are not scary at all. There's a weird amount of violence toward women, so don't watch. is Interpol agents and the mobsters are not scary at all. There's a weird amount of violence toward women, so don't watch if that, I mean, that's pretty weird. If you don't watch violence towards women. I mean, that's a weird qualification, I suppose. However, what's great about it is Jean-Claude Van Dames performance in this movie
Starting point is 01:38:59 is hilarious and there is a sensual turtle stroking scene. So watch it for that. The movie that I'm, uh, is not a qualified recommendation, I'm going to recommend quickly because I don't want to go too deep into spoilers or anything is hereditary, uh, new horror movie that may or may not still be in theaters. Um, Tony Colette's in it. Uh, it's great. It's filled with dread. I want to see. Um, it reminds It reminds me a lot of, it feels like a movie that was heavily inspired, not necessarily plot-wise, but just the way that like, it's shot
Starting point is 01:39:31 and the way that people deal with stuff by, it reminds me a lot of Japanese horror films. And it's, and there's moments in it that are just so like kind of stark and shocking and beautiful like it's a it's a very it's a very interesting looking movie So yeah, go be stressed out All right Well, it's been one week since you looked at me
Starting point is 01:40:03 Yeah, do you guys ever realize that a bear naked ladies is basically children's music? One week since you looked at me Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da If I went to a baronnaked ladies concert, it would feel like I was going to a Wiggles concert. I don't know a lot of baronnaked ladies, but I do know the song, Old Department. You get around, you know plenty of baronnaked ladies. Yeah, because that show was playing in Ireland all the time. You know the song, Old Department. No, I don't know that one. That has like a lot of like,
Starting point is 01:40:37 wistful adult feelings that I think don't, that like a kid would not understand. I mean, it's about like, it's like the lyrics are broken to our Old Department,, it's about, it's like the lyrics are broken to our old apartment, and it's like this is where we used to live, and it's about how like... It's a classic, this used to be my playground, type song.
Starting point is 01:40:52 Yeah, yeah, and like have a new owners have changed everything around, and like... Oh, that's a little different, okay. Yeah, that's fair. Well, in the end, like, and the difficulty getting older, it's like Johnny's back by the band Riot, which is about like, you know, not like in change, and the difficulty getting older. It's like Johnny's back by the band Riot, which is like, I like, you know, not like and change and just trying to get back to the old swing of things,
Starting point is 01:41:10 even though it isn't quite the same anymore. That's kind of how I always feel about the Bozer back in town. It sounds like a really sad song to me because I think it's supposed to be like, yeah, the Bozer back, we're having fun, but it always feels like, hey, the Bozer back. Well, okay, we're not boys anymore.
Starting point is 01:41:24 So like, go do your stuff about things to do. You must be listening to the Bruce Spring scene version. So this is a weird way of ending the show, like sad. I mean, like dragging the bare naked lady sad and like unrelated to anything else we've talked about. Hey, look, you're the one who said one week. I guess so. I know you said it's been. You said it's been. So I guess it's on me. Yeah, look, you're the one who said one week. I guess so. I know you said it's been. You said it has been. I guess it's on me. Yeah, yeah. Never say anything. That can be
Starting point is 01:41:50 misconstrued as the lyrics to a song. Yeah. Sorry. You said it's been and I interrupted you. What were you going to say? It's been 260 some episodes and I still don't really know how to end this podcast. So. Well, usually we just do about talking about bear naked ladies for a little bit. More things change. More they stay the same. Mm-hmm goes around nobs around all right on that no wait what nobs around No, sir For for the flop house. I've been damn McCoy. Yeah, you are. I'm Stewart Wellington and this is Elliot Kalen Not all you McCoy. That was just a goof for the layer. My last name's Kaelin. See you guys. Peace. Do we try one more that's
Starting point is 01:42:36 Still don't think I have anything but on this episode we discuss Sherlock Nomes. Dan you misspoke I think you mean Sherlock Holmes. Oh, no way I get it, because they're Nooms. No, I kind of like... No, I kind of like... Alright, and three, two. Oh wait, wait, let's try one more. I got one more.
Starting point is 01:43:00 On this episode we discuss Sherlock Nooms. The movie that dares to answer the question, Hey, what if Sherlock Holmes was a Nooms? Alright. We did it. And three. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Noems. Spoiler alert, Holmes and Noems rhyme. The movie.

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