The Flop House - Ep. #372 - Old

Episode Date: June 18, 2022

Despite its relative financial success and reviews that are more "mixed" than bad, M. Night Shyamalan has become such a FH all-star, that we had to check out Old: The Beach that Olds People. (As Dan is fond of saying, "Don't get hung up on our name.") Unsurprisingly, it gave us a ton to chew on. Please don't be mad at us just cause we don't think it's a masterpiece, Blank Check buddies. Maybe y'all should skip this one. Everyone else in the world -- enjoy!Wikipedia entry for OldMovies recommended in this episodeCrimes of the FutureBrotherhood of the WolfMädchen in UniformEver tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.

Hey, flop house listeners, normally this is the time where Dan would say on this episode, but first, I want to tell you about something very exciting. The flop house is coming back live. Yeah, over the internet? No, not over the internet. In front of your faces, if you live in New York or Brooklyn or have access to a play to transport yourself there, that's right, August 7th at 7.30pm at the Bellhouse, our old stomping grounds, we're going to be doing our first live in-person show in about three years since

2019. Yeah. So we're going to be having a great time on stage in front of people barring another outbreak of a deadly disease. That's August 7th, 730 PM. We're going to be talking more be us. That's right. It's the summer. Morbius, more been time.

Me, me, me, me, me, et cetera. Just go to the bellhouse ny.com for tickets. That's the bellhouse ny.com. That's August 7th, 730 PM for the show, doors open at 630. We're gonna be talking the more abster. That's right. And you're gonna be there watching it in person and loving every minute of it.

And now Dan, take it away. It's me, Dan. On this episode we discuss old, where life's a beach and then you die. Ow! Is that a welcome to the jungle? Welcome to the beach. You're gonna die! Hey everyone, welcome to the Flop House, I'm Dan McCoy. What is up, Dan McCoy? It's me, Stuart to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy.

What is up, Dan McCoy? It's me, Stuart Wellington over here. And over here in California, it's Elliot Kaelin. Hey guys, how are you doing? No, okay. Just chilling, dog. Stuart's wearing a Terry cloth. What is this, a cheetah print? Sure. Yeah, it's like, you know, like beachwear. Why would that be appropriate appropriate for today's movie guys? Well, that's because we're talking about a beach that turns the old

It's the interesting interpretation of beachwear But we're watching the movie about the beach that turned your old. Why do we do that? Damn what kind of podcast is this this is, this isn't how to learn German podcast. This is a podcast where we watch a movie that was a critical or commercial failure and talk about it. This one's right on me. And we also sometimes talk about Topeka. Do you talk about Topeka sometimes? That's right. This one is right on the edge. Well, we provide a forum for other people to share their thoughts about Topeka. It got 55 is the Metacritic average.

It got very positive reviews. And it got very negative reviews. And people's opinions of it seem to be pretty all over the map. And it was a financial success. Who knows? Yeah. Yeah. That's what we're gonna find out.

Do you know what I'm gonna find out? How's our boy doing? Okay, I don't, I mean, like, I think the recent sort of, like, I think split did very well for him and then glass was kind of middle. Mm-hmm. I think he's on a bit of a minor upswing. And clearly, he hasn't gotten all his persons bones

or glass because we got a little bit of that and old, don't want to spoil anything. Yeah. So, you know, I would say, I would say he's doing pretty well. He's kind of had a resurgence. You might say it's a new day for M night. Oh, I wouldn't say that though. Oh, it is.

Oh my gosh. It was wrong. Glass was a huge hit. What a fucking question. The entire city of Philly turned out for their favorite son on a budget of 20 20 million. It made 247 million glass did. I mean amazing. Say this about him. He can stretch a budget like he can. Yeah. Yeah, right. It's amazing that on only $20 million he made a movie that looks like it was shot for $5 million.

Roasted oh man, boom. Let's give him some cream for that burn you provided. Okay. Don't worry. It's going to heal real fast because he's on a magic beach. Magic beach. So let's all about it. Our assigned speech depends on which interpretation you follow or whether or not you're at the goofs section, which it feels like this movie is like an oops all goops. It feels like it is taunting the goofs. It's just like yeah, trolling the goofs. Although we'll say Arthur C. Clark once said that any beach that's advanced enough is indistinct for magic.

You can't tell the difference between a, a, a beach of dance and of science. I'm gonna cut, Alex is gonna cut that joke to make a little tighter, but I think it's gonna kill. Um, just like this guy's, it's been, it's been a, it's been a long morning. It's a long morning. Yeah. Okay. So, uh, movie opens, we are introduced to a family of four, the Kappa family, uh, not like

Kappa, the turtle or like that. That's the clothing brand. So you're saying they don't have, they don't have bowls on their head and when they bow, the water falls out of the bowl and they become incapacitated, like a Japanese Kappa. They do not do that, nor are they too like mudflip girls back to back on some sportswear. Okay. So it's a family of four. The father is played by the incredibly hot gale Garcia Bernal. Yeah

Audrey was Audrey was keen on wait, I don't know why you're like because Audrey's keen on watching this He that is her number one man gale Garcia Bernal. She's got a type Say look at the Dan It's I don't quite you slept a beard on our boy. Yeah, you guys look. I see it. I see it. Okay. So I don't have the full cast in front of me, but Gail is playing guy. It's probably not easier for him to remember. His wife is Priska. Is that the name? Yeah. Priska Priska. You have something like

a fruit. And they have tubes from Phantom Thread. Yeah. And also we have a slightly, an 11-year-old daughter, Maddox and a six-year-old son, Trent, who is very percusious. They arrive at a very fancy resort. They are greeted by a vaguely German guy who is only a little bit like he's like a slightly less creepy preterstrowmer. They're given. He looks like he looks like a guy who won first prize in a Peterstrowmer. It's looking like contest. True. Yeah. And it's got all the trimmings here, folks. We got especially cocktails. And it's got all the trimmings here folks. We got specialty cocktails. We got a drink fountain candy station.

Everything you could ask for from your fancy hotel. This is like, this is like the white lotus baby, like giving more of this, except it's not as stressful as the white lotus. Okay. I would say much more stressful considering what happens to every single character's tour. I mean, I would say the events are more stressful considering what happens to every single character's tour. I mean, I would say the events are more stressful, but the storytelling is less artful

and stressful. I would get that. I'm a white stain. And nobody ends up with a poop in their suitcase. Spoiler alert. Okay. So the, you know, I got to watch this show a poop in a suit. It's so great.

It's actually a spoiler alert for old that no one ends up with a poop in their's two cases of the old. Although it's just because it's not shown doesn't mean it doesn't happen. That's true. That's true. There's a whole world outside the frame. So the the youngest son of a sins. The the young precocious kid Trent makes friends with a kid who like lives at the resort named, wait, I got it somewhere. It live. Yeah, it live. And he's the nephew of the resort manager. Yeah.

So it's unclear why he lives at the resort. But I guess that's a sitcom right there is, is I'm, I'm this a resort manager who's kind of like Peter Stormare and suddenly I'm inheriting this, this nephew has to come live with me. Oh, oh so much trouble every episode. So they settle into this resort. It seems like paradise. The kids go around and they meet all these people that that are at the resort, including a chef, a cop and a dancer. The trend likes nothing more than to meet someone and ask them what they do for living and then immediately walk away. Uninterested in the details.

He also, well, he also needs to know their name. Uh, and yeah, I get, I think it's just name and profession. And luckily, there's no one with a boring profession. Everyone has a very specific somewhat interesting profession. Yeah, except for, except for Galgarcia Benal, who is, who is an insurance adjuster. Yeah, I, I, I want to get into this. Like, there's nothing more emblematic of the film old than the scene in which the kid asks what these people

do for a living and then just leaves. Because this movie loves to tell you what various characters do for a living. Like, sometimes when it doesn't make sense, like, someone says that there are a nurse twice in a movie. Like, it was like, what we already established this movie. Like it was like, you won't be ready to establish this movie. And then there's another point where Vicki Creeps' character is like, no, you can, like, she's like trying to show that you can trust that she knows about some medical thing, basically. And she's like, I'm a, I'm a museum curator.

Like, I'm like, why does that mean that you can trust her more? She's trying to prove that she's human, Dan. She's not just right. And that's how, and that, Galgarcy and Bernard will be able to piece together that there's something fishy going on because he's like, but according to the insurance odds,

it makes no sense that two people would die on a beach. The odds are astronomical. Like everyone is defined by their job and also by the relationship to one other human being on the planet. Yeah. Yeah. Ken Long says he's a nurse so many times in this.

He just cannot stop telling people he's a nurse. He introduced himself by name and then his profession multiple times. Yeah. Okay. So Guy and Preska are planning on separating after their vacation. They're just like two opposite. He thinks about the future and she's always thinking about the past. This is something that does not bear out at all that he's always thinking about the future

and she's always thinking about the past. It never comes up again, really. Well, this feels like a screenwriter's notes to himself. Like, it nights like, okay, well, this is going to be about people growing older. So one of the candidates should have a future job and one of them should have a past job and this should inform their personalities and then he's like, that's good, that's good.

He writes it down and then he doesn't, like, actually we did it to the story. And it's like I told you, showing you is telling, right? And they vaguely allude to a medical condition that Priska has that we'll find out all about later in gory detail. Meanwhile we cut to the beach at night. This is a different beach. We haven't seen this beach before, but it's a fuckload.

It becomes explicable later, but the way this scene is inserted is completely inexplicable. Stuart, tell us about that. It's great. So we have a, we have a, a, a, a man and a woman on the beach. He, we don't know that the man has the most hilarious character name in the history of filmmaking. But we'll get there. The women strips are close off and go skinny dipping end of scene. Yeah, well, this is, and this is where Audrey yells at the screen. and this is where Audrey yells at the screen. No, your boobs are gonna get old. Okay, so cut immediately to the restaurant

at the resort in the morning. We are introduced to another family. This one is led by Rufus Suel, also hot, but definitely gonna be evil. He is not in any movie except for Dark City where he is not fucking evil. And I'm going to take a page from Elliott and say that I saw Rufus Suule on stage in London

as Richard III and it was a- Perfect casting, not a good production. Richard III. Really? Oh, that's too bad. Because I saw him on stage on Broadway and Rock n' Roll the Tom Stopper'd play. And he was great in it, Brian Cox was great in it.

It was a great, I love it. I'm sure he's good in general. I just I don't think the production was not so. But he somewhat Rufus. Suol seems to be someone who very easily falls back on tricks when when someone is not keeping him honest. I could be wrong about that, but I feel like in his acting, either someone's keeping him honest or he's being like, I'm just going to suol my way through this one. So so Rufio here, Rufio, he's playing in your name, Charles. That's what his friends call him.

Yep. He's, he's playing a fellow named Charles, whose doctor, he's like the head surgeon, he's a big deal. And he's traveling with his elderly mother and her dog, his trophy wife and their young daughter. They have a very awkward interaction with the guy working there, their server at the restaurant. Wait a minute.

Terrible. Yeah, well she wants to make sure that the calcium bomb drink that she's getting is a real calcium bomb because she has a bone condition which will manifest itself in a hilarious way later on. Very important. I fucking hope she has. I hope she does not have bonitis. Dan, yeah. No, she's like, I need calcium because I have Susperia disease.

So if you can make sure there's a lot of calcium in there. And then she's like, could you recommend anything to me from this part of the menu in a way that like, like, so the guy like lean over and it feels very like flirty and seductive. It's how I act when I get all so far. It also, but it seems kind of like I don't see why this is a selection technique basically like you have learned the waiter like four inches closer to you. I guess that was the point of it. So Dan, you'll learn this when you go back to school for your sex masters.

But there's a zone of four inches away from every human body. It's called the erogenous zone. And when you look in that area, there's a heightened, fermonal attraction that is almost inescapable at times. And that's why it takes such effort to get through a subway ride without an orgy breaking out.

And that's why you have all those signs in the subway that say that have a cross through two bodies doing it that says not here, saving it home. And it says don't bone in the zone. Anyway, that's, that don't blame me for the rhyme on that one. That's NYC.gov. He says don't bone in the zone. And they're saying that a Rajan's zone is not permission to just bone in public. You know, that explains it because it's true that there's no time I feel sexier than on

the subway. Then you and you're crammed into that can of people. You really feel it myself. Hurley. That's why we're smelling tunnels in the world. Yeah, New York's hottest movie, taking a poem one, two, three. So don't even get me started, Sony Hanks. So we are introduced to two more characters

that we'll show up later. That's right, Jaren the nurse and his epileptic wife, Patricia the psychologist. She has an epileptic fit. Luckily, Dr. Rufusouel is there to save her and she has her horrible, all he really does is tell him to keep stuff away from him. And you have to assume, Jerry's like,

one, I'm a nurse, two, I'm a husband. I know how to do this. And she has conversations that's basically like, I'm a doctor, I'm a nurse. And she has a full-on seizure, and then is immediately quipping out of it. Like, whoops up, she's like, yeah, I got a lot of stuff. I'm just talking to the people in the back

seemed a little too unconcerned about the seizure that was happening because they weren't like looking at it after a certain point and I'm like I don't know man like there's two medical professionals on the scene like that's the point at which I'm like okay I can go along with my life. You just don't want to get hangry is the thing. Yeah well and also you have to but there's I would I would give them the benefit of the doubt that the person who's experiencing the fit is probably already feeling a sense of embarrassment

that this is happening to them. Right, right, yeah. And so to not direct your attention to them, whether there's nothing you can do to help them anyway, it's probably the more polite thing to do in the moment. So, so Audrey, take that. Okay, so, uh, when someone is, when someone is one, my lovely wife, yeah, when someone is two gets one, my lovely wife. Yeah. When someone's having a fit, it's not necessarily that she laser directs her focus on it the entire time.

Yeah. We are wasting the next time that we encounter an epilex. Next time you're at this resort, yeah. Yeah. And speaking of being in the resort, we're spending way too much time here. So let's get the fuck out of here. So the Major D shows up and he offers the Kappa family a special trip to a special beach, a once in a lifetime opportunity. And he also gets mad at his nephew for

hanging out with the guests. So they are picked up by a van driver played by that's right. And he's like, get in suckers or go to the beach and makes the old. Here's your first warning sign. Here's a red flag. If you're ever being driven somewhere, if M. Night Shyamalan gets into the driver's seat, you get out of that car. You do not want to be driven by this man because he's the director and he's driving you somewhere bad. The other warning sign is like, you know, the guy says, like, oh, I only tell the people

I like about this beach. And then Rufus Suol, who seems unpleasant and his wife who seemed unpleasant are like some of the first into the van and you're like, hmm, there's no way he likes that. But, and it's also, but it's also like. And also if he likes them, why does he like us? We're so different. Or maybe we're not so different.

Oh no, we have to do some soul searching. Well, that made me like for the first part of like something is going on and we'll get into it But I was like does he just send the people he doesn't like to this death beach has let as he like He's he sent and singing K. I'll go see a burnout's family to death just because he didn't like that the kid made friends Basically He went from table to table checking the tip they left and he's like, I got a special beach for you.

What's this? 30%. You can stay at the hotel. You can check to see what face they made when they drank their custom crafted cocktail. Uh-oh, those custom crafted cocktails. This is a real puzzle movie. There's no extra pieces. So those custom crafted cocktails, CCC, are going to be a little something special.

We'll find out later. Okay. So the van driven by M. Knight takes the cap of family and the Rufussoil family to the old beach. They have to hike through the forest without a guide. The path leads them through like this tight, tight crevice in this like massive cliff face. Oh, another, sorry, another red flag warning is when your driver says, so everybody left

their passports behind at the hotel, right? All your identifying documents. You don't take them with you. Great. Good. Fantastic. And also, and also, no, I won't help you carry those, like oddly heavy baskets of food down to the beach with you. You're going to need that food.

You're all going to be growing soon. I mean, you're growing now. Okay. So the beach, they get to the beach and you're gonna need that food. You're all gonna be growing soon. I mean, you're growing now. Okay, so the beach, they get to the beach and you know what, it looks amazing guys. You can all agree. It looks amazing. It's isolated, idyllic, paradise. There is one weird dude sitting there.

That's fine. They know what to do. See, he's apparently been sitting there staring at the ocean since last night. All night at all morning, yeah. Yeah. Okay. You also have to, here's my question.

I was like, that beach is beautiful. Okay, let's say you're hanging out there. What do you do after a certain amount of time? You go swimming a little bit, you sunbathe a little bit, you're playing the sand a little bit. That's about all you can do, right? Like, it's not a huge beach. That's a beach for you.

You just described a beach, right? I guess, but we just got down to the side. I don't like the beach that much. I guess we discovered that's a beach. I guess we just got down to the, I don't like the beach that much. I guess that's what we discovered. That's my motive. Yeah. They also, he also said like, you can call me and I'll come pick you up. That's true.

Which they didn't realize until they got there that they didn't have cell phone service. Oh, phones are too old. Okay. So, they're on the beach. As, as we'll find out later, the crevice they walk through creates strange effects on human beings, but only when they're walking out of it, not when they're walking into it. It's a one way.

It's a one way metaphysical. Well, is it like, is it like, if you, wait, what if, if you go down, if you go under water too fast, or is it if you go up and water too fast, what's the difference? Uh, well, if you go up, you get the bends. If you go down, do you get the... I don't know, you have to go down slowly. Yes, I'm going down slowly. Which is the opposite of the bends.

This is the bend. I'm not sure. Okay, so they're not alone on the beach. As I mentioned, the guy from the night before is sitting out on the beach and you know what? It turns out the kids recognize him because they, you know, they're hip. Turns out he is a well-known rapper named

Mid-size sedan. Which is like a naked gun name for a rapper. That's the thing. Like, we were both kind of like, it's not, you know, it's fine. Whatever, put a joke in your movie. Like, it feels a little bit like a joke that someone's like, these rap people would make. Like it's got like a little like unpleasant aftertaste of that. But also, but it's also like, is it like how when comedy writers come up with a name for

a porno, it's always upon? Yeah. Yeah. But it also just feels so as you say, Elliot, so out of place in the movie, it's like it's a different type of. Yeah. And as the movie. The movie is otherwise. Yeah, and as the movie goes on, it gets more and more grim and bleak.

So to have this joke, to have a character, they might have looked as well called him like, little doggy dog pup face or something like that. That's silly. And later he's like, later he reveals that he actually comes from a comfortable affluent background. And it's like, yeah, with the name like mid-size sedan, of course you did. Like that's not a street name. Like you're fooling

nobody. So the kids are running around mid-size sedan. They also, they only call a mid-size sedan from that point on. They never call them, even when we found out his name is Brendan, they only call him mid-size sedan. They play around with toys at one point, Trent and his sister recreate a argument between his parents using like like a little robot like a little gun. Action figures. Yep. They yeah, they recreate this dysfunctional marriage. Then they also find some like discarded hotel cutlery and other stuff from the hotel,

but it's like super old and rusty. Something's going on here. Much like the tin roof on the love shack, it is rusted. Mm hmm. So then Trent goes off and starts swimming alone. And while he's swimming, a naked dead woman bumps up against behind him, bumps into him. And it's the skinny dipping woman from the night before. Now dead. That's a good, that's a good, that's a good creepy moment though.

I'll say is he's playing. Yeah. Yeah. And he just see her head start to float behind him very casually as the wrong word. But it's, it's one of the more subtle scare moments. There's a later, there's a, there's a scene later on that also has a person go into the water and then get bumped into by a dead body. And this was scarier than that.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Being the scenes rolled were someone bumps into a dead body in the water. Okay. Okay. The top 10 scenes from old were someone swimming at a body bump syndrome from behind. So at this point, mid-size sedan who was there with this woman seems a little put out

that they found her dead body. And he just kind of baves pretty weird in general. Like he does. He doesn't seem upset. Yeah. And everybody else also kind of like they're kind of taking it easy. They're like, let's cover it with a blanket. Let's see if we can call somebody.

They don't immediately just like run. I mean, the other thing is like i i could never tell the key was there all night but he doesn't say like hey guys the weirdest thing happened i tried to leave and i couldn't any of that but that doesn't happen right you know they're all night

just hanging out midsize sedan he's got he's got, he's, you know, still waters run deep. There's a lot going on in there that we don't. Yeah, I guess maybe. And it's no, he keeps bleeding, you know, so. Okay. Yeah, they have no phone reception. Another couple, the other couple, Jared and Patricia from breakfast show up. He's a nurse. Jared's a nurse. Yeah. Other, Other other other very strange things start to happen. The kids swimsuits don't quite fit. On mid-size sedans nose keeps bleeding. Quite fit. Then later on, when they grow a lot more, they still seem to be okay. They're just like mildly uncomfortably tight.

Well, and what's weird is that when they get when they get a spoiler, they get old, when when when Maddox ages into Thomasine McKenzie, they're like, we got to get you an adult swim suit. And they put her in a swimsuit that she's falling out of much more than the than the one she was wearing before. So it's it seems like they probably could have gotten by with just buying and the movie could have just had them wear the same swimsuit. Yeah. I could have gotten by with just buying and the movie could have just had them wear the same swimsuit. Yeah, and then they just throw in heat at the actual whole team. That right. Whatever.

It is also funny because someone who's like someone at the beach saying, my swimsuits feeling too tight is also a is also a porno beginning. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, thank you for asking me, King of pornos. As the expert in the house. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. So yeah, mid-size sit-ins, nose keeps bleeding. Uh, the old lady starts being more needy and then she stops breathing. Yeah, that's the way it works. And if they get more needy before you stop breathing. And also if they try to leave the beach, if they try

and go back up that, uh, that path through the crack and the cliff. They get these like horrible headaches and then they black out and find themselves back on the beach. Uh oh, I think we're stuck here. They must be in a video game level, but it's the way it happens was very funny to me. The first time where they're like walking through and then the camera starts shaking and it cuts to black and then they just wake up lying on the beach and I was like, okay, that's silly. Yeah. I also really like to do that. The movie sort of explains the beach later. And I guess it's an open question whether

like the explanation they come to for the beach is actually the real explanation. But I will say that if it is, then this makes no sense. So they get somehow transported back in addition to blacking out. But unless you want to believe that they like half consciously stumbled back to where to the further, but that's not, but the movie gives us no reason to believe it. The movie is, we are about to get to the actual reveal. Okay. So let's, let's do it. Let's reveal it.

So at this point, Marthach Mono's too. Maddox and Trent, the two kids are talking to Jaren and Patricia and they're doing the same game they do with all these strangers. They ask them their name and occupations. And then what does Jaren do? Wait, I'm, I'm curious. What is Jaren? I don't know if we cover this.

Jaren's a nurse. Okay. So good. Good. I wasn't. Then Jaren turns the game around and this time he's like, let me guess your ages. And he guesses about five years older than their actual ages in it. This whole scene is kind of interesting.

It's shot behind the kids heads. We're looking at Sharon in Patricia's faces and they seem very confused. They're like, M night is like, I am saving this fucking real baby. This is the last possible moment, even though the movie's called old, I'm saving this reveal into the last possible moment, even though the movie's called old, I'm saving this reveal into the last possible second. The camera is drifting back and forth, like obscuring their faces for so long. I love it. I actually think that I like the way this movie is shot sort of dreamily and elliptically

and like I think that it looks great. But this is one point where I'm just like shouting the screen to get to it, man. Yeah. I'm not just edging you so hard with this reveal. So just teasing you so much, you just won't let you have it. Yeah. So Priscan guy come around, they find their kids, but are they their kids? Because they're like five years older, we have our first actor swap here.

These kids are five years older than they were before. They're big ins. And big ins. I waited a drive it. I got an into the aging. I just want to take a moment to say that like the aging in this movie is all over the place. Now, I understand that when you're a kid's like there are huge developmental changes like year to year. Sometimes even month to month. But we're minutes a minute if you're on a beach that imagine that makes you older. But given some of the stuff that happens later on and how quickly it starts happening, the adults seem to take forever to age.

Like they look basically the same. I mean, this is never ages at any point. Yeah. This movie is a real advertisement for whatever Rufusul is doing because he looks exactly the same throughout the entirety of the movie. Yeah. Yeah. Even as he is aging decades within hours, he is, you know, man, yeah, give me some of that.

Okay. So, and this, I feel, I will say, I feel gross saying this, but so. So say it. So say it. Abbie Lee who plays who plays the wife of the of Rufuswool. She is wearing a bikini almost the entire movie. She we're at at other points. Maybe she has like a light beach wrap over.

Crystal and Crystal and Crystal and there's part of me that wonder the whole time I was like, Oh, crystals, they're all gonna age. They're all gonna be replaced by old people. And she never is, just like Rufusual and others. And I started to wonder, is this movie refusing to age her the way it should be because it doesn't want to show you an elderly woman in a bikini?

And I couldn't tell if that was me being gross, by assuming the movie would be too crass to be like, we don't wanna see that, ugh, or if that was me. I couldn't tell, but it seemed like I wouldn't be sure if that played some part in their decision. Yeah, I mean, it is, like, her aging is weird because she basically just, like, she looks the same,

but she has, like, some crow's feet and then, and like, bonitis. Her bonitis kicks in, is she. Well, that will happen to be over. We'll get to that. Yeah. But she like, and her makeup runs quite a bit. Yeah, she turns into kind of a mishavorship.

Yeah. Well, she drinks herself in a cage. And like, haunts the beach for her. Yeah, yeah, she, but there's, but it was, but there, I couldn't help but wondering like, if, I couldn't help but wonder if it was like the movie, even for this movie that wants to shock and horrify, the thing that would really horrify the audience, and the actual body of an elderly woman, naturally,

they wouldn't go that far. That was too terrifying for the American audience or the world audience, was to see the actual effect of aging on a human woman. I couldn't tell if that was the thing. I mean, it's also quite possible that they're like, we have an actress, she's committed to this character. We want to let her play the character throughout the whole span of the character.

That's possible too, possible. Okay. When you're dealing with a legend like Abby Lee. So they, hey, she's in Furia Road. They're moving rules. They keep trying to go through the path. They keep Blacky Counting, ending up in a big pile on the beach. It's pretty funny.

At some point, right around here, like Rufusul, which we've already suspected has some kind of like a memory loss. He doesn't, he doesn't quite know what's going on. He has a, he has like a flick knife and he, like a folding knife and he pulls it out and he attacks mid-size sedan with no provocation, slashing him across the face and we're like, oh my God, but then when mid-size sedan removes his hand, the cut is already healed and scarred.

So they are aging at a cellular level, everybody. So that's what is happening. Yeah, everybody on this beach is aging super fast. I don't think this makes sense, guys. That's a whole idea. Tell us why, Dan, because I think it makes perfect sense. I'll take the devils I have to get positioned on this.

I'll tell you why. I'll tell you later on, just to give everybody an understanding, they ascertain that because there's plenty of medical professionals, we have a nurse. And also the head of surgery. Oh, that's reasonable. And also a archaeologist. And an actuar, yeah, archaeologists, actually, yeah, that's reasonable. And also, and archaeologists. And an archaeologist.

And an archaeologist, actually, yeah, it's all part of the story. The archaeologist is there. And archaeologists and an archaeologist. And an archaeologist and an archaeologist. And a head of surgery, all walking to a beach. Yeah, right. And they get old. When they find the bones of the woman who drowns, she can use her archaeological training

and explain how old those bones must be now. Every part of the buffalo this will be. No, I just want to say, like they're like, oh, dead things don't age. Like that's one of the things that they try. We can all get specifically. We can all agree Dan that that kids shouldn't play with dead things. Let's start with you. I was happy with that. Yeah. To give everybody an understanding, they say that 30 minutes equals one year. Yes. So, they,

So you ordered, So if you ordered a Domino's pizza, they should say you'll get it in one year or less, or your money back, which is an huge margin of error. If you're delivering it to the old beach, which sucks because then you can't leave. Just let me get at this mid-picky point. It is, although it's like Stuart, is it this beach the ultimate noise?

If you order a download of pieces to it, it is, we'll ruin your pizza. It's like, whoo, that pizza, yeah. What were we talking about? Because you've been interrupted me so many times. I've been talking about everything about this time. Something like the movie doesn't make sense, yeah. Well, no, but what were we talking about specifically,

what was the, about him getting slashed and healing immediately. Oh, healing. Yeah. Like, so this movie is like, makes a big point about like, oh, our like fingernails and hair aren't growing, even though time is going passing because like, that's dead thing, like we're aging, we're aging. It's not the time is speeding up.

And yet, you heal faster because you're aging so cool. And also like Alex Wolf has a fucking five o'clock shadow the whole time. Okay. I think that it, I'm gonna be charitable to the movie and say that what's happening is so inexplicable that the theories they're spinning out are attempting to find logic in a situation

that doesn't actually, isn't right about logic. There's some kind of eldritch non-uclidean geometry from beyond the stars that's at work here. But you're right. The movie does seem to not understand what constitutes aging and what doesn't constitute aging. And they're like, well, maybe only dead, maybe because those are dead cells, they don't age.

It's like, well, this body just rotted away like an hour. So there's, so Mr. Nurse, what does that have to do with your theory? And also, when your hair and your nails grow, it's not the dead part that's growing, it's the living part at the nail bed, right? And the hair follicle.

So this guy take away his nurse's license, he should not be theorizing about this, you know? Yeah, well, later on something so medically comical happens, but we'll get to it. So, Mid-Size today and reveals that he is sick. He only came to this resort because he got a diagnosis for a blood clotting disease and that he only ended up on this beach because he met that woman, the poor woman who died and they bonded over having similar, they both had issues. She just got a diagnosis for MS. I do have in my notes that maybe they bonded

over the fact that mid-size sedan MSS, maybe they bonded over MS. Who knows? That's possible. She said, I have MS and he goes, me too, mid-size. And she said, that's not what I mean. I mean, multiple sclerosis and he goes, oh, that's too bad. And then they hit it off from there.

It went to the mid-size. Later on, he goes to, I don't know, pay final respect or something. And he lifts up the towel that her dead body is covered in. And is, of course, shocked to see that her body is right out of the way, which is, was just weird because I'm like, what was he, like, was he like, oh, great a dead body? Like, I don't know. Like, who looks under that? Who, like, who just decides, like, I want to go look at a dead body.

I don't know. Let me make sure that's what's happening to her. Maybe, let me make sure that's what's happening to her. Yeah, maybe. I will say to anyone who's listening to body. Let me make sure that's- Maybe you want some patients. Yeah, maybe. I will say to anyone who's listening to this who has received a diagnosis of MS, you don't need to go to that beach, a beach resort where people turn old.

A number of members of my family have been diagnosed and with modern medication, they're doing great, they're living normal lives. So don't go to that old person beach. You don't have to. Just go to a real doctor. Don't go to Rufusul, he's a crazy doctor. As we find out, as the movie goes on. Yeah, he'll slide. He's a real doctor. Don't go to Rufus' whole. He's a crazy doctor as we find out. Yeah, he's a doctor giggles

So he did he I'm I'm gay He's so funny me he pulled out his degree his his his medical degree and it said oh he says oh well I went to the University of giggles medical school They're like they're like that degree is printed on the back of Larry Drake's head shot. Yeah, well, I studied under Dr. Giggles, Dr. Owen Giggles. So, the small dog that had accompanied Rufus' suils, Elderly Mother dies. They don't show it. Hey, they don't show it. Good job, movie. The kids start to explore their emotional states because as

they're getting older, their brains are also developing, although they're still basically children, their brains are developing faster than they experience things. Yeah. That was the concept that I wish they could have explored more in this, like it's not the kind of move to the story, but the idea of like that you are, your hormones are affecting the way you think faster than you can really process it. Because we don't have years to,

that's like an interesting idea that the movie just uses as an excuse to have a pregnancy erupt. But also they play fast and loose where sometimes it seems like these are child minds in aging bodies. But then by the end of the movie, they seem like pretty functional normal adults. They're just middle-aged adults, yeah.

Yeah, but also like this is, think it till you make it, Dan, that's the thing. I keep forgetting what point I would make right in the middle. So, oh no, I know what it was. The, it's just like this developing hormones, like I wanna take a moment to talk about the dialogue in this movie because it's just like this developing hormones. Like, I want to take a moment to talk about the dialogue in this movie because it does feel like it was real. I realized it could be.

It is. Because like, when Thomas and Mackenzie is like, or maybe it's the other girl, I think it's Thomas. She's like, oh, I feel different. Like earlier in the day, like it was like my emotions were, like fewer colors, but stronger. But now there's in the day, like it was like my emotions were like fewer colors, but stronger. But now there's, you know, like more colors, weaker. And it's just like, I don't believe that this is how this character would express this feeling. Like it's, it's very

clunky. Like I don't know. It, some of the way that exposition is given or people talk about their emotions even feel like they're reading out of, like, instruction manual for, like, their home theater surround system. Yeah, I think if it was a more mannered movie, if it was more consistent than I would buy that. I would buy, this is just, that's the tone of this movie. That's the way this movie operates. But there's a is just, that's the tone of this movie. That's the way this movie operates.

But there's a, yeah, there's a number of lines like that that are clunkers almost up to the level of in the happening when John Lake was on the goes, they say they're in the town of Princeton. Yeah, you could just say Princeton. This is New Jersey. Everyone knows where Princeton is. But it's funny that Elliott said the word operate because this is when we get to the good stuff because Priscus aging faster. And so is that little tumor that's growing in her stomach,

that's right. She has cancer. That's why she's on this old beach. So her tumor keeps growing faster and faster. They can feel it getting bigger. It's nuts. She, so they, they got a, and Rufus will keep announcing how large it is, which is hilarious. It's crazy.

It's like, using different kind of a pillow. Yeah. So they, and then she passes out. And so they got operate. They have a little bit of booze. They have Rufusoules knife and they have a lot of, they got a lot of energy. So they, they slice open her little tummy. But Rufusoules having these memory hiccups, he keeps talking about a movie of Jack Nicholson

and Marlon Brando. It made me so frustrated. He goes, out of nowhere, he goes, Jack Nicholson made a movie with Marlon Brando. Did you know that as if that's a bonkers thing to happen? And he keeps wondering the name of the movie. And so the whole movie I was going, the Missouri breaks, Rufus is the Missouri breaks. You think of the Missouri breaks?

The Missouri breaks. And no one ever knows the answer in the movie. So I didn't even get- That's a baddie, couldn't hear you. So they- Movie, it's the Missouri breaks. Yeah, yeah. So they slice't even get that. Good. I was a movie. It's the Missouri breaks. Yeah. Yeah. So they, they, they slice into her stomach. Of course, the wound closes immediately. So they're like, too fast. Yeah, she's healing.

Oh, it does a time for me. Is that's part of, that's part of aging. So she, they, what they have to do, they end up slicing open her stomach and holding open the cut so they can cut out this rapidly growing tumor. And that's great. That's cool. It's gross. It's super gross school thing to have to do. There's another moment.

It's gross. Yeah, it's where the nursing license should be revoked because like he reaches in to get the tumor and he's like, it's attached to something. Muscle tissue. I'm like, yeah, that's how tumors work, man. They're attached to things. And they're not like free floating in the body. It's not like, they're not like boba bubbles, just kind of like, yeah,

bopping around in there. But I would have thought you're going to say that it was that he's clearly tickling her when he sticks his hand inside, which is on ethical. That's unprofessional. Well, that's a little crimes of the future for you. Yeah. So they, I couldn't use like at least one more shot of this giant tumor being like tossed away or something.

That's what I'm looking for in a movie. So or the tumor aging into like some sort of yeah, like, girl, little legs and arms that are running around me like on the old beach. The tumor suddenly grows along beard and little bifocals that it came. Yeah. Okay. So, uh, Prisco wakes up, uh, Guy explains that they had to cut out the tumor and she- That's the other thing she just wakes up because they cut the tumor out. I don't know the signs of that.

I- It was, uh, the tumor was growing on her sleepy, uh, her sleepy center. It was weighing on her, on her sleepy spot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, and this is around where they find, this is around plot wise where they find the, the remains of the woman who died swimming.

They, they figure out their math. Everything's good. They figured out exactly 30, 30 minutes equals one year of life. Now's where things get fun because Trent and Cara, the daughter of Ruvisou will come out of the little tent they're hanging out in and you know what? Whoopsie doodles. Cara's super pregnant. And this is and he's like, he's like, he's like, we only did it once. Don't you have to do it like 10 times to make a baby.

And they're like, no, we never talked to you about it because you were so young. Oh, no, oh, no. And it was like, what is this? This is ridiculous. Yeah, it is very ridiculous and weird. And oh boy, thumbs up movie, you did something strange. So yeah, I feel like I feel like this baby is coming now.

I feel like losing your virginity on the beach while your mom feet away is getting a tumor removed is like the kind of thing that you hear at like a storytelling show. Like when people are there to tell like embarrassing tales of their past, it's like you'll never believe how I lost my virginity. Anyway, my mom was having last minute surgery, but I didn't know I was in a tent. And I was on, we're on this beach. The makes the old, you know, anyway, we're on this old beach. We're on this old beach. Okay. So they, they need to deliver

this baby. Rufus Sewell's obviously stressed out at this point and he, he says my favorite line of the movie goes, let's focus on the issue at hand. Does anyone know about Mufi's? And I'm like, I wish I was on that beach right now, baby. That would be my job on all beach. Yeah. Everybody's occupation matters. And this is where it gets it for him that it's Missouri breaks. Okay. It's okay. I'm a podcaster. Let me explain. It's the Missouri breaks. Okay, so they deliver the baby, which dies immediately. I only live because it's so ridiculous. It's so ridiculous, and this is one of the movie, I feel like jumped, jumped the elderly shark for me,

where it went from being like, okay, this is kind of a fun kind of like mind game of how is this gonna work out between these people? Two, oh, okay, this is just a gross bleak movie. Like everything, everything's just gonna be bleak and I'm like, I'm like, I'm fine from now on, you know. Yeah, I, because the baby, the baby came out age too fast. I don't I guess they couldn't give it a, they say they couldn't give it an attention.

They go, they go, they go, I don't know. I was put it down for a minute and they go, he didn't get, he goes, according to the math, he didn't get attention for a week. And again, like, it's the bit that the baby's aging. It's not that the baby is experiencing time faster than they are. Yeah. Yeah.

Another thing that doesn't make sense. This is also why skin to skin is so important right after birth. Take that baby, put it on the mother's chest, let it latch. This is important stuff. It got to breathe that contact. I'm gonna take, thanks for keeping it real.

I'm gonna take a brave stance against a heaven babies on the old movies. Yeah, it's never fun when a baby dies in a movie. But but also it just feels like a weird missed opportunity for this premise. Like that baby is aging too. Like exactly. That's I was like, Oh, is this movie going to be about generations of people growing up on this old beach? Yeah.

But like, no, I think M Night Shyamalan is just, it's a shock, shock kind of like horror. And so he's not really that interested in that. He just wants to, I wouldn't be surprised if he feels like he rode himself into a corner at that moment. And he just was like, get rid of this baby. Should I have Rubis? Yeah, no, I like the idea of like of this rapidly aging society that grows over time, almost like that George Haremarton short story, Sand Kings, which book and rules.

It's although, I now that I realize it, then you have a story where someone has to teach like a 10 or 15 year old how to use the potty and talk and walk and things like that. And I don't know why that movie either. I wonder if I'm not shaman was like, oh, now I've got this baby on the beach and it's going to age really fast. Should I have Rufusual ask it what movie Jack Nicholson and I were in and then he gets so mad when it can't answer the hurls it into the ocean. Yeah, it gets up and walks up in the ocean. It's like, I'm sick of these people. Okay. Let's see. So, Crystal is obviously upset because her daughter just gave birth and her granddaughter

died. So, she explains to Maddox, she tells her Giuseppe speech about an old boyfriend. Ruthie. Basically, she dated a man who was not handsome enough for her, even though she loved him. And she has to be imagining, well, if I married him, I wouldn't be on this old beach right now. So, she has a sliding door. She's on her, like,

based on her, her, the rest of her story for Crystal. This is like, this is like a, like a, like a Dark Souls boss where you walk into the boss chamber and she tells this weird story about Giuseppe and then freaks out the tax you.

And I want to, you know, like, just to people talk about Giuseppe a lot in Dark Souls. Which, the Crystal. And I want to, you know, look, just to people talk about Giuseppe, a lot in Dark Souls. Which, the Crystal Wood, because that like, I, you know, I mean, it doesn't necessarily make sense at the time, but then afterwards you're like, oh, yeah, I read all the item descriptions

after I killed Crystal and got her weapon set and explains about her lover Giuseppe, just wasn't attractive enough for. But, you know, in the moment, you're just like, I got to figure out what her move set is. I got to figure out if I'm going to be dodging, attacking if she has some kind of bleed attack and what her weaknesses are,

because I don't want to just waste my afternoon doing boss runs on this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dan. Dan, what are you going to say? I'm just, no, no, I just like, look, I don't want to be too American-centric. Like, Giuseppe is like a perfectly common name, but in the context of this character for her to be like,

there used to be a man I was in love with Giuse character for her to be like, there used to be a man I was in love with Giuseppe. It's just like, Emnight, could you think of a less like, like sort of a name that doesn't stick out so much as like. I did, and this is me being an American ethnocentric bad person also. I did imagine that he was like an organ grinder or something

like that, or a sold ice cream out of a cart, you know. It's an angel recipe. It is a very, you know, it's an angel. Yeah, exactly. It is a very, like two Americans is like a very old fashioned like we're in Pinocchio now, sort of like. Crystal, why you leave me? We're so good together. I'm sorry, Giuseppe, you're just not handsome enough. Oh, you're right, I cannot be no more handsome.

I can only be who I am. I'm a Giuseppe. And then Giuseppe's mother runs out and goes, Christel, my Giuseppe, he's a good boy. Give him another chance. And Giuseppe is like, don't to forget about me. And please, take care of your bonitis. Make sure the calcium bomb has a real calcium bomb in it. Okay. You can't eat an extra plunge in a calcium. So, uh, me list is a not everybody's taking this super well, least of all Rufus Sule who finally loses it. He pulls out his knife and he kills mid-size sedan with his knife.

And then he goes and he wanders off and he sits up against the cliff, lost with his rapidly aging brain, only to show up later on when they need him to be scary again. Jarend decides I'm going to swim for it. So he says goodbye to everybody and he goes to swim to try and go get help. That needless to say does not work out. No, he floats back. Um, they start to figure out that there may be a conspiracy that each, uh, that at least one member of each group had some kind of medical condition and that they may, that they

may have been placed here by the resort. The resort took care of everything that they, I think, uh, Pr Priska found out about this place based on the receipt she got from a pharmacy, which is like, how do you have the time to read a fucking pharmacy receipt? Those things are like super long. They're very long. And who is taking their vacation recommendations

from the pharmacy receipt? Let's see, okay, 99 cent bounty paper towels. All right, just to sail on chips of hoi. Oh, there's some sort of exclusive elite resort. Very expensive that I could go to. Thanks, Joanne Reed. Okay. Priska and her daughter, Maddox have a heart to heart where they talk about how the marriage is falling apart. And it was based partly due to her illness and partly due to an infidelity on her part. And, Maddox's like,

I'm just gonna need some time to work this out and they're like, but we don't have time. But don't worry, they figured it all out in the end. Maddox goes swimming to deal with, while thinking about her mom and of course bumps into Jared's dead body, being or sitting help him. No, ultimately.

You can imagine while he was drowning, he just started going, oh, no, no, not bad voice work. Yeah. So Trent, Trent and Kara wander off and they bury the dusty old bones of their little baby. Oh, it happened in the movie. I've just say now, Kara decides Cara is sick of this beach. So she decides to just climb that cliff while everybody tries to talk her out of it. Yeah.

She of course passes out while climbing falls. Yeah. She does a good job for a while. She's like a really good talented free. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then she should have been on the American Ninja Warrior.

A few state and falls backwards and dies. Yeah. It's all about grip strength. Um, then Patricia's like, I the American Ninja Warrior. A few state and falls backwards and dies. Yeah. It's all about grip strength. Then Patricia's like, I'm gonna go swim for it too. And I have these floaties. And then she has an epileptic seizure and dies. This is a real culling of the herd segment of the movie. I don't know.

I don't know. It was very funny that she doesn't even get into the water. They're dead. Yeah, she doesn't even get caught. Yeah, she doesn't even get into the water. They're just like anytime someone at this point, anytime someone tries to escape, the movie just goes and you're dead. Paul Drunk. Guy loses, starts to lose his vision. He needs glasses, but guess what?

They don't have an old beach. A lens crafters. Crystal is now at this point. Crystal's like old. She's kind of, she needs her calcium. She's wandering the beach, uh, like a, like old bitch. This is before she's, she's retreated to her cave. Yeah. She gets in a cave later. Yeah. Guy and Priska dress their marital problems. And they kind of set things right between them. This is the moment they need to have.

It's very sweet. I will say this is part of the kind of, that they, that they, they reach, within a day, they have reached the level that old people are at where these things that were so visceral and important in the past, they no longer remember them or feel the same feelings and they come to terms about it. And I thought that, I thought this part was actually very sweet. But maybe it just seemed sweeter when cast in sharp relief by all the goofiness that's going on. Well, I I, I both like it. They're also great actors.

They're also really great actors. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I, I, I both like it and it is another moment where I'm like, okay, so wait, what's the logic of this? Like, like, yeah, they're aging fast, but does that mean that they like come to terms with their life faster? Like they seem to have like everyone seems to reach like developmental milestones in their brain that are

certainly part of aging, like physical, but also part of it is like going through life experiences and they're experiencing all of this not in real time but in accelerated time. So I'm sure I will mention that it is a magic beach. Yeah, it is a magic beach. I kind of see it as like, like they are tired because they're older now. And they're like, why, why, why, why,

it's hard to get my, hard to get worked up. Until of course, slithering out of the darkness comes Rufus Suele. And he starts attacking Guy and Presco with his knife. But again, the cuts heal almost as soon as they are made because he's swathing. He does try to keep him to. Yeah, exactly. And he can barely see and she can barely hear at this point. So as he had to would say and fill on the roof, they're a perfect match. Yeah. The kids go inspiration for here. No evil, see no evil, starring Richard prior and so you say someone saw the movie old and then said, I know what

I have to do, built a time machine and then went back in time to give that idea to Jim Alderman, Richard prior. The kids go running off to hide in a cave where they get attacked by a crystal who has become Mrs. Glass. Yeah. I mean, she's comb, she's a combination of Mr. Glass and what's her name, Groga from Dark Crystal. Just kind of shambling around. Which naming this character, Crystal, very funny choice.

Cause her bear shatter like crystals as she drops a rock on herself. Well, yeah, she's- The problem is each time she breaks a bone, it heals almost immediately. So her body's all twisted. And she's coming at them like through the cave like, yeah, a demon who is slowly like twisting itself. And it really is, I mean, we've made the joke several times, but it really is like look look up to episode of Futurama where the guy has bonitis and he just like yeah he is into different shapes. If you're looking for the cartoon version, watch the bonitis. If you're looking for a more upsetting version, watch the superior remake and then she dies last words on her lips, of course,

Giuseppe. Okay. Yeah. And. And this is the way her body is twisted and all these different twists is a real good, scared special effect. It looks really good. It's a really good horror look. And so it's dumb the way they got there, but I was like, you know what? That's a creepy way to destroy a human body in a movie.

I'll give you credit, night. And then so it looks like, yeah, so Rufus will keep slashing away at a guy. And Preskis shows up and stabs him with a rusty knife. The problem is that she explains rust poisons your blood, so it doesn't heal and he gets all poison and dies, which I don't believe is true, but whatever it was kind of funny. She is an archaeologist, so you know, I mean, Rust is not good for you to get in your blood, like this how you get tetness, right? Tetness, yeah, I'm not really sure, yeah, I'm not sure like Rust poisons your blood

is the way to say it, but it is. And I also don't know that the, I don't know that it would then rush through your body thanks to the effects of ultra aging and instantly killing your blood, you know, it's a movie. Oh yeah, yep, it's game over for sure. Sure is for sure. Okay.

So again, calling of the herd, the, the, the, I'm actually according to IMDB Goofs, Rust does not poison the blood. Yeah, it can contain bacteria, which can lead to death, but still not poisoning the blood thanks to the, okay, the user put that there. So the only people left alive are the capas. They're hanging out on the beach. It's nighttime. The capas are now a nice old couple. They're hanging out on the beach. It's nighttime. The capas are now

a nice old couple. They're tired and spacey. And then they both get a little bit too old. They die. It's sad that, you know, whatever they, you know, they die as they live. They get a little too bit too old. The next morning, the next morning, Maddox and Trent are hanging out on the beach. They're now in their like 50s. And at this point, let me just point out that the Trent character was like a little kid and they got slightly older and then he became Alex Wolf. Okay, that's not bad. And then his next stage when he's in his 50s, also hot. So good luck with that, man. Alex, well, if you're going to be hot when you're 50. So they, they decide to make a sand castle before they try to escape one last time because you know what?

All they got is time right guys. Yeah But notice the opposite of what they have and then After they make their sand castle Trent remembers that Idlib made a little coded message that he never solved So he decides to solve that bad boy real quick And you know what it says my uncle doesn't like the coral. Yeah, be a little more helpful, little kid. Logically, doesn't it? I'm done.

Now, so before this point, the two kids have postulated, especially after they found a notebook left behind by a previous victim, they've postulated that there's some mineral or something in the beach that makes some old. And that maybe if they had a metal tube, like a shielding, some kind of shield shielding like an x-ray technician uses, maybe they could protect themselves from the aging rays being shot at them from the beach minerals.

Yeah, because they found a journal from a past victim of the old beach that was very exhaustive in cataloging the effects. Yeah. And had a few ideas for science fiction short stories in there. So they decided to go swimming for the coral. They swim. And had a few ideas for science fiction short stories. So they decided to go swimming for the coral. They swim. They find a coral tunnel and swim through that. Maddox's cover up gets snagged. Looks like they've drowned movies over. Uh-oh. I will say IMDB does point out factual errors. Coral is easily breakable. Yeah. Um, but anyway, maybe, maybe, you know, maybe they're not strong swimmers. So we find out that this whole time will be M night has been up on a bluff watching them from like an observation point.

And he reports that the kids died and that they were part of trial 73, meaning I'm assuming they were at least 72 before this one. Oh, yeah. And then he that's what matters. That's what it's all about. And he heads back to the top secret lab filled with scientists. They're testing rocks making custom cocktails. And we see the major D is also like the leader of this team which seems hilarious. Yes. Yes. We're going to have to split up your skills.

The time of packing the explanation we're about to get. But uh, yes, this is, yeah, finish the explanation so that yeah, there's a lot of, there's all as many holes as there have been in the how the old beach works. There's so many more holes to me in the how this company works. So, let's talk about it. It turns out that this resort is being run by what Warren and Warren, a pharmaceutical company who has been luring people with promises of sweet vacations, they send them to the beach and then they do rapid testing on new potential medications because they'll give somebody a medicine and then send to that old beach

to see. Now the problem is like, are we talking about a medication that they only take once and never again? Yes, because it's in their custom cocktail that's delivered to them when they arrive at the resort. So it's a one time medication. Of course, children are acceptable losses. Send them to the beach as well, along with their sick parents. If the company's called Warren and Warren,

I assume because it's two guys who are not related or also be called like Warren brothers or something like that. So there are some ideas that we can give them this medication. Send them to the old beach and we'll get years of data within a day. How are they going to submit that data to the FDA? How do they explain to the FDA? It looks like we only have one day of data, but it's actually years because of this magic beach that we send to. You have years of data of one person

with that problem in medicine, like medical tests, like you do it with a lot of people, this is it works, or everyone. I mean, it does. So these are the three tests. That's right, and applies. I mean, it applies also to the, it's a very test guys. That's right. It also applies though that they send control people

to the aging beach without giving them the medicine to see if the beach is gonna make them better. So they're just, they're sending people to their deaths with placebo's in their existence. Also, it's like, yeah, the idea that this company, I don't know, they went through the trouble of creating this luxury resort as a front for the scheme as well.

Yeah, I think they were just like bonking on the head. Yeah, when they create a luxury resort, but the part of the cover up is then making it look as if the people never went to the resort. That they go, they take their documents, bring them back to their houses, and then what burn the house down, like I don't, to make it look like they died of some other way, or do they hire actors to then play those people for the rest of their lives? And then they want to do like, go and write fake trip advisor reviews from those people. I loved it.

Five stars. They definitely didn't send me to a beach where I got old. I mean, they're definitely getting like a secondary revenue stream from just normal people who go to this, uh, this, uh, this, oh, yeah, there is a patient. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's a plenty of space because for some reason, guess show up and then disappear. Okay.

Let's say you're a guy who looks a little bit like Peter Stormair. You run a pharmaceutical company is illicit lab that tricks people into being guinea pigs for medicines. The front is a resort. Okay, you understand as part of your responsibilities, you have to also have to be the front desk man at the resort and talk to all the guests. For some reason, someone says, hey, can you watch your nephew? Can he stay with you?

If I was that person, I say, no, I don't have time in my life. I get a job. I'm running down two jobs. I'm running a resort and a death date. And then if you is, can we all admit is a little percusious, right? Very much so. Yes. He already has a shell collection that he keeps bragging about.

He has 40 shells already, but he's got. And there's just, there's so much about this, there's so much about this twist that is bonkers in a way that raises more questions than an answer. And the implication is and the head goes, he goes, look, nature created this beach for a reason. Clearly nature meant for us to secretly test pharmaceuticals there so that we can then bring them to market faster. That's why everything has a purpose. Like, not since God made bananas curves that they pointed at your mouth, have I heard an explanation that is more full of holes about why, about intelligent design.

Okay, so we are, we are all, we're about to wrap this bad boy up. Let's put a bow on it. Yeah. Trent and Alex. And so now the movie ends with the implication that this just goes on in more innocent people will fall into the trap of this horrible company, right?

So that would be a chilling ending. Because Trent and Maddox show up, they go up to the cop they met earlier because he introduces himself and he finds out everybody's name and job and he never forgets a name, which is important. He shows up, he gives the journal from the guy who wrote exhaustive notes to the cop. And there's a flashback of them breaking free from the coral as if we just surmise that. And then they are about. That was insulting. That was an insulting moment. The movie, the other like, hey, audience, you're too dumb to understand that they survived. You're such dummies. You think they're ghosts.

No, no, no, I'll show you how they got free morons. Like that was I was assaulted by that. Some new people show up and are about to be given their custom cocktails. Uh-uh, not so fast. Trent walks up and throws that shit on the ground. Here, I'll take this to your life saving medicines. Yeah, the ground. Now the ground doesn't have Parkinson's anymore. And then he yells about how they put them on a beach that made him old and killed all their family. This is no name and this is his address. At this point, everybody buys it.

Like everybody rolls with this shit. It's awesome. So you're like, how do you take the news that you're old now? And he's like, she thought it was weird. The police officer instantly is faxing the notes to his boss, I guess, in that age police, I don't know. I don't know how it's his jurisdiction. And I'm like, and I was like, yeah, time got, I guess.

And I'm like, what, what is the time variance authority? He's like, I'm like, what case are they gonna bring? Murder by magic beach? Like, hold on a second. What is the, what is it? The best thing you get probably is a fraud for misleading advertising about the resort, because it doesn't say anywhere in the advertisement's warning,

you may go to a magic beach that makes you old. Like what is the case? I mean, and what's the other one that they're gonna get like in trouble for like covering up accidental deaths on their beach? Like Disney's like, who gives a shit? That happens at every resort, every cruise ship, every TGI Fridays, it just happens everywhere.

They come up accidental deaths everywhere. Well, and this movie doesn't know where to end because I'm sorry I'm sorry Stuart, I'm gonna jump in and say that the movie actually ends with then another, it goes on another scene for some reason where they're all like all the two of them are the survivors are in a helicopter with the cop and it's just like the cop spacing just being like, well, case closed,

we have everyone for everybody. Everybody's arrested and then they're like, as you said, how is our aunt gonna take it, that we're not kids anymore, like we'll survive. And then like the, you know, the helicopter's flying over the ocean and in my head, I'm like, the only reason that there's still another scene, like what the movie is still going on,

is like they wanted to get us back to near the beach so the camera could like go under the waves and we see like a fucking like UFO crash there or something. That would be cool. Yeah, but that would have been awesome. Actually, look at the water. Yeah, what have been great. Well, that's a thing. I'm imagine, but that was awesome. Actually, look at the water. Yeah, what have been great? Well, that's a thing.

Imagine, imagine, imagine me do though. You survived, you uncovered this conspiracy, you've saved the day, and they decided to give you a helicopter ride to celebrate, and they start flying you by that beach. I'd be like, get the fuck away from that thing. No, they're not. Hi, that thing goes.

Yeah, I got to be about to get super old. I imagine, I imagine the kids were like, hey, take us by the beach so we can rub it in that beach's face that we got away. Let's hang out on the beach. Being on the beach and the bacteria and their pee is rapidly evolving into a new species that declares war on humanity. There's so much, the fact that two people walk up to you on a resort and they're like, hey, remember when two kids talk to you yesterday, that was us.

Here's all the proof you need. It's a journal we wrote. I mean, we didn't write it. Somebody else did. You write it all checks out. No way you could have faked this journal. Let me just, let me just give it to my bosses. I'll stake my career on the idea that there's a magic beach that turns people old.

Even though you're a 50 year old man, you have the same mole as this kid I make today. You know what? It's the thing that I fingerprint everybody I meet on vacation. Because now let's take your fingerprint. It's the same one. You are that kid. Oh boy, this is going to make my career. The first police been ever to ever to crack an age crime.

We did it. So the only way the ending could have been sillier is if they then showed the police arresting the beach and taking the beach away and handcuffs. The handcuffs won't fit us. The sand keeps slipping through them. No, and then the handcuffs are rusting away and the beach is escaping beyond the look out for a beach. It turns people old.

It's on the run. Okay. Well, let's go to final judgments whether there's a's a good, bad movie, bad, bad movie, a movie, kind of like, I'm going to give kind of a, almost a hybrid judgment. I'll say that this is a movie. Half-levard half-line. This is a movie I kind of like, but not because I wouldn't, you like it because you're a hard scientist.

Not because it's not. Let me be clear, this movie is very... Let me put down this Stephen Baxter book and watch old, just a duet of hard science fictions. This movie is very dumb and the dialogue feels incredibly awkward, even like when it's being said by good people. Like Vicki Creeps, for instance, like fantastic and fan of thread. I think it does her no favors to be acting in her second language and then been given these lines that are not not sayable. Like I quoted the old you can type

the shit George but you can't say it Harrison Ford line about Star Wars, but that all being said, M. Night Shyamalan is good at coming up with a compelling general idea and good at coming up with like variations on this. This is based on this is based on a graphic novel. So I don't give him credit for the original idea, but I don't read it. So I don't know what the variations are his. Yeah. Uh, well, it recognized a good person. Taking that out of it, then I will say a lot of good actors and what I will say, I think I think Emnight Shyman's actual strength is visual storytelling, direction, mood.

I think this is a great looking movie. I think that the visual gambits, he does are good. Like, I think he finds interesting ways to stage everything. And so it's this interesting kind of fight between dumb script, good direction that I found enjoyable to watch. Yeah, I mean, it's hard to, uh, it's hard to knock a guy for one to make a movie on his vacation. I mean, Sandler does the whole time.

And I mean, what a place to do it. I mean, that resort looked really nice. I must have been fun to stay at. So that's your rating? I would say it's a tough one. I would say this is kind of between like a good bad movie because it is very silly. And also a movie I kind of like, because there are stuff that I kind of liked about it. I don't think the, obviously I don't think it all holds together.

The silly stuff is very funny and silly. And there's actors I like in it. So yeah, it's okay, whatever. I think I would call this, it's weird. It's like, it goes into all three categories for me. And that there are times when it's weird. It's like it goes into all three categories for me and that there are times when it's a good bad movie because it's ridiculous, especially the very end. There are times when it is a bad bad movie for me because a baby is instantly born and then dies, which is terrible. But there are parts where there are moments in that I like. There are

a couple of scare moments in it that are fun scare moments and there are a couple of affecting scenes because the actors are good in it. But so here's, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna call this movie ultimately disappointing in all categories. Because so while I was watching it, I was like, this movie reminds me a little bit of like, not as well made like a movie like a picnic and hanging rock.

And then I was looking it up. And it said that M. Night Shyamalan showed, walk about in a picnic at Hanging Rock to his cast and crew. And it's like, those both are movies that have this sense of people from quote unquote civilization, going out into a kind of strange wilderness setting being changed by it in an almost mystical way

that they can't quite explain. And I wish this movie had been more like that. I wish it had been less, I wish he hadn't explained what was going on at all. The twist about the pharmaceutical company is so, is so goofy. And I wish it was more about these characters are in the strange situation. It's affecting each of them differently. They don't understand what's going on, but they have to respond to it. And I, it's almost like I wish I could say to him, like, I want you to push yourself more.

I want you to challenge yourself to break out of your comfort zone and make a movie that is okay with being kind of lyrical and dream-like, because I think you can do it instead of reverting back to making like a crappy puzzle box that doesn't really, the pieces don't really fit together that well.

So I'm gonna give it a needs improvement, see me after class. Yeah, that's fair. Well, you know what, guys, this we call it the Flophouse is supported every week by listeners like you, but we also have a couple of sponsors and one of them this week is Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business online.

You can stand out with a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything. Products, content you create, even your time. Every Squarespace website, an online store comes with a suite, a whole suite of integrated SEO features and useful guides that help maximize prominence among search results. You can sell your products on an online store, whether you sell physical or digital products, where space has the tools you need to start selling

online. And all websites are optimized for mobile content automatically adjusts, so your site looks great on any device. And we are looking at all kinds of devices these days. That's my observation. of devices these days. That's my observation. That was that left a lot of room for interpretation. Head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Dan, I had an idea for a website and I was just wondering if Squarespace might be able to help me put it together. Quite possible. Okay, so it's called horrortripadvisor.com. And it's you can go there and look at reviews and find out whether the vacation spot you

want to go to has some kind of horror element because maybe you don't want to go. Like maybe, I want to see this resort, it looks really great. Do they have a beach where people turn old? Let me look at the customer reviews. These Mayan ruins look really cool. Is there an evil vine that eats people there that might eat me? Yeah. Because then I don't want to go there. So I know that one. Yeah, there you go. That's that's when you've heard of this. There's this, this is this kind of cookie resort in Wales. If I go there, am I going to be trapped there and a giant

white balloon is going to chase me around and eat me if I try to escape? And everyone has a number instead of a name, you know the one I'm talking about. That's a resort. Well, I mean, they shot it at a risk. I guess, Guyada. Yeah, so it's called horroradvisor.com. Horror TripAdvisor.com. Do you think Squarespace would be able to help me with that? I need to be able to update it and have it work on lots of different devices. I'm sure.

Like, what if I want to say it a motel and it was also a motel hell? I don't want to say it a motel hell. Do you want to follow some kind of tourist trap? Yep. Yeah, I need to know about that. I want to do it a day. I want to go on a driving trip, but I don't want to play any road games. So maybe try to help me.

How's the flex? Or would you like a house of wax? Yeah, yeah, perhaps. I mean, yeah, that's a tourist. That's a tourist. It's a tourist stock. Actually, legit, if I could stay at the 13-go house, I would totally do it.

No question. We're about to house them haunted hill. There is a question, I might. What about Hell House? Oh, Hell House is the worst. What about Hill House, which is haunted? It's true. And what about the hills have always?

What about them? Wait, those hills sound really cool. Let me just see on TripAdvisor whether they have eyes or not. Oh, they do. Honey, let's not go to those hills. Let's go to the other hills. OK, but are those eyes the eyes of Laura Mars? Maybe.

Yeah. Well, there's one way to find out. Let's obvious love Soho's. It's about the ghosts of Mars. The ghosts of the eyes of Laura Mars. John Carp and draw all over both of those. Yeah. If you guys ever find yourself in a stressful situation, maybe you're stuck on the beach from old.

Why don't you ever consider a microdose thing? That's right. Our show today is sponsored by Microdose Gummies. Microdose Gummies deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. As a user, I find them to be a great way to wind down at the end of a long day. They chill me out, help me sleep, they're great. Um, microdose is available nationwide to learn more about microdosing, uh, THC, go to microdose.com and use the code flop FLOP to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.

Links can be found in our show description. And once again, microdose.com code flop. Elliot, I believe you have a j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu Jiu that you go as follows. Happy 30th birthday, Hannah. I look forward to spending many more hours listening to the peaches alongside a person as considerate as Dan, inventive as Elliott and cool as Stu. And excitable as an old-timey prospector. Love from Robbie. All this so nice. And before we move on to the next part of the show, I just wanna remind people, in case you didn't hear it

at the top of the show, in case you just slammed that skip button as soon as you heard my voice, I understand it completely, that we do have a live show coming up, a live in person show. The flop house is coming back to in person performing. That's right. August 7th, 730 pm at the bell house in Brooklyn, New York, our old stomping grounds, our old home. We're going to have a great time talking about more, be as could it be any other movie for our return to live performing, but more. We had to wait till there's something that did we want to watch a movie about a dead vampire hell no we're going to watch one about the living vampire

living vampire the movie that took America by storm the movie they released twice in the same year and it bombed both times so just go to the bellhouse and why dot com that's the bellhouse and.com, to get your tickets for August 7th. Bob House talks about Morbius. Boy you're young. ["BellHouseNY.com"] Hey, it's John Moe. Join me on Dupresh Mode for conversations

on how mental health shapes our life. This week, David Sederis, with stories of his late father that he's finally willing to tell. I think there's a difference between, you know, a good person and a good character. Like, he was a good character, my boyfriend came. And my father was another one of those people, and he was a really good character, but he wasn't a good person. Dupresh Mode with John Moe, wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Jesse Thorn, the founder of Maximum Fun, and I have a special announcement. I'm no longer embarrassed by my brother and my brother in me.

You know, for years, each new episode of this supposed advice show was a fresh insult, a depraved jumble of, erection jokes ghost humor, and frankly this is for the best, very little, actionable advice. But now as they enter their twilight years, I'm as surprised as anyone to admit that it's gotten kinda good. Just in Travis and Griffin's witticisms are more refined, like a humor column in a fancy magazine. And they hardly ever say Bazinga anymore. So after you've completely finished listening to every single one of all of our other shows, why not join the McElroy brothers every week for my brother and brother. Let's move on to letters from listeners like you.

This one's from Jacob, last name with Held. Who writes? Of the letter. Hey there, peaches. I'm gearing up for a liver transplant surgery in the coming months, which is going to a long recovery period at home watching a lot of movies, presumably. Having recently listened back to the last Christmas episode, I was wondering if you three have any ideas of good transplant-themed movies to watch while trying not to reject my new organ bonus points for non-horror suggestions. Keep on floppin' in the crew world.

Jacob Lasting without, no, Stu, he says, Bose points. You don't have to go. Oh, I can get normal points. You can just, I wanna do the normal. Yeah, more points than you guys. Normal. I mean, weirdly, the first the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal.

You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal.

You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal.

You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can do the normal. You can just, I want to do the normal. You can justness for return to me the movie where uh... david kevin's wife passes away and then he ends up falling in love with the woman who received his wife's heart uh... who's played by many driver uh...

and is honestly less for that and more because it has uh... uh... very fun supporting cast carol conner ro Robert Lozia, Bonnie Hunt, Sponning Hunt in particular. It's great. There's a lot of fun in the movie. I'm not gonna make any claims for it to be high art,

but in terms of just fun, fluffy, romantic comedy that'll probably make you feel good if you're feeling down. That one might fit the bill. You guys got it. More than Untamed Heart. The one where the Slate man has a monkey heart. Yeah, originally titled Bebun Heart. It makes him super strong for a little while. I think so. Look, he has all the powers of that boon. So his butt is brightly colored.

That's a power. The, I would say, I mean, this, again, this is horror movie, so I don't get my bonus points. But I remember when I broke my arm and I was down in the dumps, I was a teenager and my mom went to the video store and rented me body parts, starring Jeff Fahey, where a guy loses an olympic car accident and he gets a replacement limb from a serial killer. Does that serial killer survive and try and reclaim all his body parts? You know that shit. So watch body parts starring Jeff Fahey. I have two options.

One is also kind of a horror movie and the other one is a kind of a comedy horror movie. So I don't know if that counts as different. But if you want to see another movie where someone gets the hands of a serial killer or of a murder at least, there's mad love with Peter Lory, which is a movie that he plays a surgeon who gives a man the hands of a knife murderer, but it's really more about Peter Lory being a weird creep who's trying to steal the wife away from the man who went through the surgery. So the hands are not really the issue in the movie.

But just... I have two things I wanted to say about that. Just one, I also was surprised when I finally saw that, like how little of it has to do with the premise. And number two, I could tell that you were about to say Peter O'Toole and so Peter Laurie, and I would love to see Mad love with Peter O'Toole. Yeah, Peter O'Toole, it would be a very different movie.

He's kind of creepy in his own way, a different way though. But there's a lot of great creepy stuff in it. It looks beautiful. It's directed by Carl Freund who is that rare man who bridges the gap between a VIMR film making and early television since he was the cinematographer and metropolis and he also was the director for I Love Lucy and he directed the mummy to I believe. So wait, wait, wait, with Brendan Frazier. No, the, the, the Rachel vice and Oda, brain breaking. Your check, Elliot is checking. He's like, no, but maybe I was right. It was the borers car law from him. He's like, no, but maybe the movie is going to be a little bit more fun. No, no, it's the worst car-loaf mummy.

I was right, it was the worst car-loaf mummy in all of them. He didn't come back to life 30 years after his death and direct the Brendan Fraser mummy, but it's just a cool looking movie and it's pedalories super creepy in it. But there's also, I have a, it's not a great movie, but I have a fondness probably just from being a kid and watching it for the man with two brains, which is a real goofy movie about organ transplanting. Is it the best comedy in the world? No, of course not.

But it has some fun stuff in it. Now, I was going to recommend the Clint Eastwood movie Bloodwork until I started reading more about it and realized I hadn't seen it. I thought I had. I was thinking of the movie. I was thinking instead of a different Clint Eastwood movie, True Crime, I think it's called, but there's no transplant in that. So I'll just stick with Mad Love and the Man with Two Brains.

I know I try both of those too, but they're probably the sort of mindless paperback thriller. I mean, they are from Clint Eastwood's kind of like toss them off part of his career, or he was just like, sure, I'll make this movie whatever. That seems like a great thing to watch for all kind of a lousy. I mean, technically in the movie, bad taste, Peter Jackson's character does stuff alien brains in the holiness skull. So that is kind of a transplant. So I would say bad taste as well. And that's not a horror movie because it's just a great film comedy.

That's a great movie, but it might make you feel a little sicker. No, man, no, that movie rules. I would say that's a fun movie. I wouldn't call it a great movie, but it might make you feel a little sicker. I know, man, now that movie rules. I would say that's a fun movie. I wouldn't call it a great movie, but you get out of here. I like, close the Zoom. Go on. Sorry, sorry. Here's actually, here's what you do.

Watch bad taste. Watch it on Amazon Prime, if it's still available there, with the captions on. And whoever did the captions describes all the music that plays during the movies. And it's very funny how specifically are but what the music sounds like. Okay, well I got one more important message from a listener.

This one is from Dorothy Lasting with Held, who writes. Dorothy's Warnack from Golden Girls. Yeah, yeah, dear Stonefruits, I would start by apologizing for the pedantry, but I'm not sure pedantry is something that bothers the peaches. I'm a professor of plant biology, and I would like to clear up a few misconceptions about what a fruit is.

Let's call up the fruit, Brute. Are they about to tell us that a boy can't grow leaves on his legs? So we can't make a pet's life leaves. A fruit is a mature ovary containing seeds that mature following the fertilization of ovules. The part that we think of as a fruit is the ovary wall that is developed into something tasty for seed dispersers to eat.

Therefore, a nut is a type of fruit. Often what we call a nut, the part we eat, is the seed. The fruits of a strawberry are actually the brown things called Acheans, etchines, I'm not sure, on the outside of the strawberry. The red part is the receptacle that holds the ovaries. A strawberry is an aggregate fruit. It is not a berry. Baries are simple, fleshy fruits with seeds inside.

Cucumbers, tomatoes, pumpkins, and bananas are examples. Strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries are not berries. Three words of berry in the name. I feel like at this point, there's certain times when science has to just make way for the way everybody talks. Like, I understand the read, come up with a different name other than berry

for what that is. The same way that, like, at this one's no one's using Barry to describe like this is look this is all scientific also weirdly enough although it is called a Barry the show on HBO featuring Bill Hader is not a Barry interesting oh yeah and as many people may know if you don't try to eat a brickleberry, the taste is sour and very unpleasant. The movie added berry to features no berries either. Yeah. And another fun fact, the snazbearies taste like snazbearies. The little, okay, I'm back to the little hairs on raspberries that gross out Elliott are cold styles. The

the style from fucking team wolf's friend. They're called styles. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the ovula at the base of the style, which then develops into the fruit fruit. You nasty hope that was my was that in the letter or that was you? I was hope you found this interesting and not annoying. Have been listening to your shows. I was a graduate student working long nights alone to lab. Thanks for the company. Dorothy lasting with help.

Yes, I also went to Erlum go Quaker. Oh, yeah. Husseline Quaker. That's us, baby. So thank you for that. Sometimes you learned something here on the Flawhouse very, very infrequently, but yeah, you learn how to drag and drop this shit in the garbage. I mean, Rufusual learned that it was the Missouri breaks that he was thinking of if he's listening to this episode. Oh, man. Yeah, he said it's his favorite podcast. But I think he only says that.

It's some kind of weird sexual mind game he has with me. Let's get on to the next thing. I know Stewart has some birthday parties to go to. I do have some birthday parties to go on fucking popular. Let's do this. Recommendations is the last part of the podcast. That's what it is. You might want to watch instead of wasting your life as we have with. this recommendations is the last part of the podcast. That's what it is.

You might want to watch instead of wasting your life as we have with these films. Hey, I wish we hadn't made. Yeah, if we had it over to, again, would we be as successful with a different format? Probably, we could have done something that enriched our lives anyway. If this show was about cars or sports, we'd be way more successful.

Oh, well, or food. I feel like people like talking food. Yeah, you know what? That's why that's called the food. Food episode was crazy. Yeah, so it's a real place. We had numbers. Let me recommend it to you.

Crimes of the future, the latest David Cronenberg film. You know, if you like Cronenberg, you'll like this one. That's all I gotta say. If you like people, you know, using technology that looks like bones that have been put together. And if you like, goo and, yeah. I love it. Mm-hmm. If you like a movie that has a man with a zipper in his stomach, so you can see his internal

organs. Love it. Crimes of the futures for you. It's not like it's got almost as many exposition dumps as old does. Oh, but coronavirate exposition dumps are great. Yeah, it's not a perfect film, but yeah, his exposition dumps. He does find kind of fun ways of doing it with like, just barely concealed like sick, right, comedy underneath the

seriousness of all of it. And it, you know, I don't know, it's ultimately like a meditation on a lot of like real emotions, even though the actual content of the film is very bizarre. You just said, and I know it was just like a turn of phrase, but you said that it's not a perfect movie. And I feel like that's part of what makes Cronenberg movies so great is that they all are like imperfect in such interesting and fun ways. Like this is a guy, I don't know, like he's a genuine weirdo-aw-tour kind of,

that still makes movies that could be played in a movie theater. Yeah, agreed. Stu, why don't you recommend something? So I was surfing around on the old shutter the other day and I had to wash the taste of the movie, the sadness out of my mouth. Do not recommend that one unless you like super gross stuff. Which I normally do, but for whatever reason this one was not gross in a specific way that I called the sadness.

So I'm not recommending that. Instead, I'm going to recommend a movie from 2001 that's also on Shutter called it's a movie that I sure I've mentioned here on the flop as well. I don't believe it ever recommended that's called Brotherhood of the Wolf. It is a rather French movie. Yeah. It is a it's kind of like if the name of the Rose was also an action monster movie. It turns basically into a live action video game at the end. Oh, baby. Yeah. It does. It's great. It's got a lot of attractive people on it. You got Monica Balucci, you got Vincent Cassel, you got Mark DeCascos, who is playing a Native American character. So that's not cool. But whatever, it's Mark DeCascos. He's awesome. It's directed by Christopher Gans, who I who I noticed directed previously, had directed the live action crying freeman movie also starring Mark de Cascos hell yeah. So if you like if the idea of like a period piece mystery action martial

arts movie sounds fun check out brotherhood of the wolf it's a blast it's also like super long it looks great two thumbs up when I back in 2001 when my buddy found like a rip of it off the internet, it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. I was so nuts for it. I remember going to do Silent Hill, the Silent Hill movie, which is a mess narratively, but very interesting to look at. Yeah. Yeah.

I remember going to see Brotherhood of the Wolf in the theaters when it came out and I remember There were almost there's very few other people on theater and just watching the whole thing being like how are there not more people in the theater right now watching this It's so it's it's a bonkers movie. There's so much stuff going on in it. It's so fun Elliott I'm gonna recommend a movie You know a lot like Brotherhood of the Wolf in that it's from another country, but otherwise it's not very much at all like a... Is there martial arts in it? There is not martial arts in it.

Anyway, this movie is called Old, and the... It's a different from another country. So I recently watched the movie, Magic in Uniform, that means Girls in Uniform. It's a German movie from 1931, and it's the story of a girl who gets sent to a very strict private school in Germany and begins a sort of infatuation with this teacher that all the girls have crushes on that turns into a kind of heightened passionate emotion that threatens the balance of the school,. She becomes this controversial figure at the school. It's really good.

The acting in is really great. It was exciting to see a movie from that era that is so much about love between women not in a purulent way, not kind of playing on it for titillation, but the feelings that young people can form in their minds around. Older people and about love that breaks the mold of the time that it's in and things like that. But overall, it was just a really good movie. And I found it to be very, I mentioned, like, picnic and hanging rock early in this episode.

And there are things about that movie. This movie has no supernatural or mystery elements to it, but there are things about that. Kind of like old because it's all science. Yeah, exactly, exactly. But that kind of like the kind of heightened emotional state of young women in a place together where they can't express themselves fully,

I thought it captured well. So I really liked a lot. Imagine in uniform, it's called. And I know that it's also, as you say, it's not a, it doesn't, it is a matter of fact film, it is not a pure film, I don't know how to say that word. As you say, but it is a movie that is,

you know, looked on as like an early land bark of Lesbian cinema. Yeah, yeah. And it's good reason it's about, it's aboutters, it's about the same sex love in that way between minutes. Yeah. But I'm speaking of the 1931 version, there's a 1958 version I have not seen and I cannot vouch for who knows what goes on in that one. But the 1931 one I enjoyed a lot. And Dan, what about you? I did mine already. So that. Oh, right. It

didn't. It's already that. Well, right. It did already. That. Well, I mean, What about you? Have you got one? No, no, he. Yeah. So, So, So, So,

So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So,

So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, up this episode by saying thank you to Max1Fun. Go to Max1Fun.org, see all the other stuff

that's on the network, there's a lot of podcast, you can be listening to, maybe you'll like one over there. In addition to us, you can go to flophousepodcast.com, find all our episodes, find stuff about us. There's an events page that I will soon be updating with the event. Hopefully I will remember to do that beforehand. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. No, no, no, no. I'm saying this in part to remind myself to have that done before this

episode. Yeah. So when you listen to this episode next week when it comes out, you'll remember to do it. You can see whether I did it or not. This is a fun game that the audience can play. Can't stress enough how excited I am that we are doing a live show. Yeah, talking about more. Beus getting up on a stage, be in silly buns with my two best buddies. I can't. I love these silly buns. Wait, wait.

And thank you to Alex Smith. He is at Howell Daudy on Twitter. He is our producer. We make a lot of work for him by being as shambling as we are. So thank you for helping us, Alex. But that's it for the Flapphouse. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stewart Wellington.

And I'm Elliot Kaylin. So I'd kind of like to stay on that beach that makes you old. I just would be like, fuck it. Let's just enjoy it. Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture Artist-owned, audience supported.