The Flop House - Ep. #379 - Pinocchio: A True Story

Episode Date: September 24, 2022

For our second and final Smalltember(vember?) show of 2022, we talk Pinocchio. No, not that one. Not that one either. The Russian one with Pauly Shore. Is that a thing that exists, and not just some w...eird chain of words we strung together? Apparently! We watched it, so unless it was a collective bi-coastal hallucination, it's real! And we had to watch it, so now you have to listen!Movies recommended in this episode:BarbarianSaloumThe Lady Vanishes

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 On this episode we discuss Pinocchio, but not that one. Sorry, I don't know if that left you any room to do anything else. Not really, I mean, that's fine. That's good. You could do the joke this time. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flop House with me Dan McCoy. I think there's some problems with our AI Dan that's built out of recordings of Dan's previous emphasis. Yes, we're just going to keep going. Okay, let's go on Stewart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin trying to speak like a normal person. How's he doing? Right in. Hey, our podcast is about bad movies. That's what we do.
Starting point is 00:01:03 We do movies that have had critical or commercial dismissal by now when you say when you say we when you say we do movies that have had critical commercial dispersal We make them or Now we're neither the directors nor the producers nor any of the above or below the line talent on these fellows Why we can declare for us so hardily the line town on this film. Now, it's why we can declare a wrestling so hard. Dan is, Dan is using the doing as in the theme song to the Ninja Turtles, where it says
Starting point is 00:01:29 Donatello does machines. It's not saying that he say has sex with a automatic sperm extractor machine, like I was showing Dan before the recording. It's talking that he spends time with them, creates them, reviews them, I'm assuming. No, that's not the difference. You know, when he says he does machines, I think it means he makes them, creates them, reviews them, I'm assuming. That's something that's a different to this. He does, he does machines, I think it means he makes them, not that he does a podcast where he talks about machines. Then I have not been paying attention in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in,
Starting point is 00:01:54 in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in that Stewart did indeed come in and show me an automatic sperm extracting everything makes me think you know, you know, much like the list of amity films people think that that was a made-up
Starting point is 00:02:10 you rather than a real thing. Dan, are you in the market? Is that why? I just thought I would cheer a lot. I think it would just happen to see it and it was like, hey, dude, take a look at this. I'm like, yeah, it looks like it would get the job done. Considering that my hands can do it, I think that a high-tech machine probably. Yeah, but that machine could do it 24 hours a day. Your hand has to take breaks, thanks to unions. No, in-o-o-fishing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:39 I know. I'm just acknowledging that I don't think it's a difficult mechanic necessarily. The stroke anyway, let's do that. Do you think that's what the crash test done meets from the crash test on me's TV show we're doing now since they don't have a show anymore? That's their job. Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:58 I think it's insulting to suggest that sex workers will fall back for fishing. You know, you know what? I realize it just said, let's move on to non-masterpertory talk, but all talk in the flop house is by nature master. Dan, is it a kind? Isn't, couldn't you say that all filmmaking and all artistic expression is just man masturbating to the idea of creation, something that only God can do? Yeah, yeah. I, you know, a little people behind the curtain, I've been working on writing a writing project. And I, you know, a little people behind the curtain, I've been working on writing a writing project. And I, uh, you can tell us about your erotic thing. Sure. No, no, I'm trying to, I'm trying to
Starting point is 00:03:32 sell a book. We'll see whether it actually gets me where, but I, I've been hampered in this by thinking all the way along the way, like, who needs this? Why do I think I can add anything to anything? That's a dangerous thing to think. That's a dangerous thing for creating the thing. Is there a reason? The answer is nobody. Yeah. I started thinking about that with a...
Starting point is 00:03:53 I was working on... For a long time, I was working on a novel. I don't think I'm gonna be able to sell it anywhere. And I started thinking like, is it worth it? Because it's still with proprietary characters, right? Yeah, yeah. It's called... It's called Mickey Mouse meets, it's called Mickey Mouse meets Godzilla versus deep throat.
Starting point is 00:04:12 And I think that, so it's gonna be hard to sell. But note the, and I started thinking nobody needs this and like what's gonna happen with it? And eventually all human culture will disappear when the human species ends. And then the universe is gonna go into the eternal crunch. And it's just going to be no heat or energy anywhere. So Dan, don't go down that.
Starting point is 00:04:30 It's just a little bit of a hassle if you shouldn't go down. Does anyone need this? Yeah. What I would also suggest is, think about all the times when you're sitting around, you're like, man, I just need something to waste away some of the hours of this day. My life is, you know, trudging along. I just need some more entertainment and the piles and piles of content that is being shoved at me every day does not save that fix. So you can provide some more content, some more
Starting point is 00:04:58 smile from people to devour. That's true. That's just not enough stuff out in the world. That's the problem. Yeah, there just needs to be more, needs to be more junk to be pushed shoved into the mall of America. Yeah. And now I say mall of America. The mall of America is a great place. It's just a quality, quality place to spend your time. There's an indoor roller coaster, but the mall of America is a hideous, unending, bottomless
Starting point is 00:05:20 abyss, you know. Yeah. Well, as usual, masturbation has been followed by an existential crisis. So let's do it right. Let's move on to the show, which is, as I said, about bad movies. In September, we do bad movies. We talk about them. And in small timber slash small
Starting point is 00:05:41 thember, we talk about. Thank you for recognizing my faith, Dan. Movies that are smaller. Smaller. And you might be confused. You might be like, Pinocchio, isn't that a big Disney release, straight to Disney plus from Robert Zamekis? Bobby Z?
Starting point is 00:05:56 We got a famous Bobby Z, but we're not doing that one. We're doing, you know, this is actually, it's Kizmat. We are in a weird way hitching our wagon to another movie that appears to be kind of a critical flop, but it's almost like we're making a mockbuster. And this one, this is a mockbuster of a podcast about Pinocchio. Yeah. The most mech is movie. Yeah. So this one is a rush. It started out as a Russian film and it has been dubbed, I would say, indifferently into English, mostly by a cast of Russian English speakers, but the three major characters are American voices. Tom Kenny, who is obviously great, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, we will, then this, yeah, but,
Starting point is 00:06:46 he's great with many other things. There's many other things. Like, what's it, what's he in? Tom Kenny, well, he was a, he's best known now as the first show, but yeah, he's, oh, cool. Okay. He does a lot of cartoon voices, but yeah, he was on Mr.
Starting point is 00:06:57 Show and he's, he was on, you may know him from MTV's The Edge sketch show from the 1990s. Okay. Normally a terrific voice actor here, he is hampered by the fact that it seems like no one spent more than an hour recording their lines. And why would they tan? To be honest, that's the right amount of time for this. And we've also got John Hader as the horse and polyshore as Pinocchio, the natural casting
Starting point is 00:07:23 for this. And I want to ask you guys, grown grown man who is seeing a little wooden boy. It's perfect. But he is kind of a boy at heart. Paulie Shore is a figure that like, I feel like people today would be like, oh, he must have made sense at the time. And I want to say, no, I never understood what the deal was. Can you guys explain Paulie Shore to me?
Starting point is 00:07:44 Because he would be on MTV, he would be talking about how he is the weasel. And you're sharing with the weasel, the only weasel. And I would watch it like, what is? It was, and I remember when he was sued by Eli Wazell, yeah, for copy, right in Fringement. But I would be sitting there, young Dan would be watching
Starting point is 00:08:02 Mr. P. Shore wondering, where's the joke here? What is going on? What is happening? I'll explain this to me. I'll explain it. His mother ran the most famous stand-up club in Los Angeles. She was very valuable to a lot of people's careers. Like many people who are successful in Hollywood, inexplicably, his family was involved in
Starting point is 00:08:24 the business. And so if you've ever listened to an episode of WTF, you know that his mother, Mitzi, sure ran the laugh act rate. Oh, of course. So the, so see, he was coming. Was that the one that was dramatized in, was it a show time show? Yes, I think it was called I'm Dying Up Here. Yes.
Starting point is 00:08:40 Yeah, and there's a good book about it. I think of the same name. It's called The Bible. It's called The Bible. Anyway's a good book about it. I think of the same name. It's called the Bible. It's called the Bible. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, a good book about the comedy writer's strike.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Oh, the comedian strike, not comedy writer's strike. That's every 20 years, the comedy writer's strike. The stand-up strike of the life I've heard. But I have to say, when I was young, I also didn't understand the joke. I still don't understand the joke, but it seems like he's trying to fill, he's trying to fill the role that was filled by the animal houses of your where he's kind of like a party
Starting point is 00:09:12 guy who's just like. Tricks, do you spare it? And Tricks, do you spare it? Yeah. And that came up. And so he was taking much like the Marx brothers, he took the piss out of the military with in the army. In the army now.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Yeah. He took the piss out of civil society with with son-in-law out of science with bio-dome, much like the barge brothers did with horse feathers. And I feel like, I feel like bio-dome has had a little bit of a cultural re-evaluation. I could be giving it too much credit. I feel like you're wrong about that. I could be wrong also. I was, I've never, I've never been a fan.
Starting point is 00:09:41 I don't, I want to be fair to him. Like I could see him if you put him as a supporting character. Oh, Dan doesn't like in scene Oh man. Huh. If he does, yeah, he does have illusion and in a freezer. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Suddenly Dan doesn't like George of the jungle or Dudley do right or last from the past. I am. Dan says the way for the flop. The research and the bringing Frazier's career after you know, he had a lot of bad luck, both physical and emotional. I'm a lot more than a Fraser. Because he thought it was about Brendan Fraser. Anyway, I could see Paul and Jordan being kind of a good second banana and something, but they
Starting point is 00:10:17 tried to make him a giant banana, a major banana. But I do think that I guess Dan major banana has probably served for country for many years. I feel like welfare is a better as a second banana. No offense to welfare. He's very talented. No, no, I think it's, it's, it's, he goes down a little easier when he's not the main character. I, I can see Pauli Shaw sort of fitting into that 90s surge of like extreme, but also laid back Southern California feeling that like he is like the Michelangelo from the Ninja Turtles. He is like, kind of.
Starting point is 00:10:50 If he was going to be an Ninja Turtles, sure. He's like sublime personified. Well, there wasn't your right. There was a period, did it start with Bill and Ted or did it happen before Bill and Ted where there was this idea that like people who said like dude and radical and things like that and talked like this, were like automatic comedy and he does slot into that brief window in American time. The same way, it was to the 90s what the Hillbilly comedy
Starting point is 00:11:18 of revolutions of the 60s was. I mean, I feel like that was the main joke. Like that was what made Fast Times a Ridgemont high classified as a comedy. Because I was just so mean. You are, I remember watching him be like, this is not funny. Yeah, there's a sad experience with abortion
Starting point is 00:11:33 in the middle of it. Yeah, I mean, it was funny to watch the TV edit of it, which edited the Phoebe Kates judge Reinhold masturbation scene to remove all the masturbation parts. So it appeared as if this was actually happening in the world. Yeah, yeah. All the way to Phoebe K happening in the world. Yeah. All roads lead back to masturbation at the first. I will say one. I will say a nice thing about Mr. Shore. I did a little research about this movie. And this is all based on, you know, like what people are saying on
Starting point is 00:11:58 the internet. So who knows whether. So as much research as most people do for politics, yeah. Yeah. But in science. But this version of Pinocchio had like kind of some viral fame, particularly on TikTok, because Polyshore was just doing his normal sort of Polyshore voice. I will say it's his normal voice, but with, if anything, like less human and weird, weird, his intonations are weirder. There's a group of kids, spoiler alert, Pinocchio becomes a real boy at the end of the go, Pinocchio, you're alive and he goes, yes, so what?
Starting point is 00:12:31 Something like that, like yes, so I am. And it's like, that's a weird breed. It was just very funny, Reed. Well, and I'll take to talk, I think there was talking about the gasification of Pinocchio. Like Pinocchio became sort of an ironic gay icon in the same way that the Babadook did. And- Which funny is the Babadook has now become a sincere gay icon?
Starting point is 00:12:52 Yeah, that's a thing. Yeah, like it starts as irony and then there'll, and then unfortunately, I think due to the sad lack of, of non like gay specific gay stories, like these things become real icons. But anyway, like the, Pauli Shore embraced this whole heartedly and with like great fun apparently. And I will, I will, I will say good on you, Mr. Shore. But anyway, let's get into the,
Starting point is 00:13:19 okay, they, that in the cheers section. Yeah, cheers for his reaction to the movie, cheers to the movie. Cheers to the nation of Russia that created the movie, which according to IMDB, one week after this movie was released in Russia, a Russian invaded Ukraine. I have to assume that's a way to escape watching Pinocchio. But I want to, I want to change the new cycle. We got to change the way. But I just I'll take a serious moment to say that obviously the flop house stands with
Starting point is 00:13:49 Ukraine, the flop house abours what Russia has done and what and we feel for both the people of Ukraine and the people of Russia who have been forced to take part in Putin's madness. If we say anything about Russia on this or the fact that we're covering this movie don't take it as an endorsement of Russia or its actions. We obviously are on Ukraine side and every day that Ukraine pushes forward and regains land is a happy day in the in the Flop House household. So that being said, I did want to say it is surprising that Russia made such a bad pro-Kyah movie. I assume Russia makes crap too, but of all the nations that can lay claim to a great filmmaking heritage, Russia is one of them.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Like, as great as the United States or Japan or France or any other, any part of the world, you know, there's a, like, Russia helped create film in the, in the 18 teens and so, and earlier. And so it's like, wow, you guys forgot everything you knew about making movies, huh? Well, as long as we're knew about making movies, huh? Well, as long as we're talking about this, like this does bring up the other thing that came up in my research, which is that, you know,
Starting point is 00:14:50 because Russia sort of didn't give a shit about copyright, Pinocchio is a big cultural figure in Russia, but like not necessarily through the original Pinocchio, but through rewritten Russian version, and it is my understanding that this movie of Pinocchio sort of combines version, like parts of the original story and parts of this Russian version. I don't know how to do that. Now you're saying a Russian novel of Pinocchio that came out? Or are they like, they just rewrote it, you know, they just did a pirated. Like the same thing happened with Don Quixote where Servantes had to write us, he had to release the second part of Don Quixote early because all these fake bootleg
Starting point is 00:15:29 sequels to Don Quixote were coming out. So that's true. Yeah, yeah. That was back. There's no copyright law in the late 16th or at least 17th centuries. But that's probably where the background for Servantes in the sole caliber series comes from. Like for summaries in the character of Servantes in the Soul Calibre series comes from, like for some reason the character of Servantes, the author has ceased to write Don Quixote and is focused on his Soul Calibre abilities. Okay, so let's speak of this fucking story. Let's just dip into it.
Starting point is 00:15:58 Let's do some business. Let's do some business. Make the burning to talk about. No, maybe as we go along, maybe Dan, you can point out which things are from the Russian Pinocchio and what things are from the Russian Pinocchio. I can't hear from the original challenge. I can't hear it again. All right. Stuff I saw people say on the internet, you know, take in a mind. Several grains of salt. So we'll turn you if we need like IMDB goofs or some shit to
Starting point is 00:16:17 just. Yeah. Okay. So the movie opens, we're greeted by Tim, all to talking horse, who promises to tell the story. Yeah.'re greeted by Tibold, a talking horse who promises to tell the truth story. The truth story. Yeah, voice by John Hader, right? Yeah, Napoleon Dynamite himself, John Hader, by the talking horse here. I'm sorry, I know that we just got into it, but I just quickly, the conviction of saying, like, blank a true story, I find always annoying and infuriating where it's like, okay, so the made up story that we heard before was incorrect. Here's a different made up story. And also the true version. And it's not
Starting point is 00:16:52 particularly different. It's not like there's no magic or anything like in this one. If anything, it's more arbitrarily magic. And I also feel like it's from movie makers thinking like, okay, we got to admit, we have gotta acknowledge that this is an old story that there's been several versions of before, so we'll set ours apart by being like, you thought you knew it, but here's the... Yeah, they didn't wanna say like, the Pinocchio, the good version,
Starting point is 00:17:17 but I feel like in today's media world, it is more unusual to see a faithful retelling of an old story than it is like what's our take on this. So it doesn't even work as that anymore. Yeah, yeah. It's like how a lot of the 90s comics writers from England like, you know, Game In and specific Alan more initially focused on kind of subverting the medium, but then relatively quickly realized that they just wanted to make stories that harken back to the comics they love as kids,
Starting point is 00:17:49 right? Just like an opportunity to make work for himself, Alan Moore started making America's best comics, which is really kind of like, just like old timey comics, rather than some of the lazy comics that guys who are trying to make comics. Are they like all time comics? I'm not sure I recall all time comics having like, like, like, like, like, just like diverging into sort of long.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Well, here's the thing. America's best comic, it can be divided into three things. And it's good that we're talking about this in the Pinocchio a true story of the episode. But Alan Moore's long since defunct America's best, America's best comic line could be divided into retro storytelling, your Tom Strong and your Jack B. Quick, sex storytelling as in Cobweb where he took old tropes and made them sexier,
Starting point is 00:18:36 and then also long explorations of the way his personal system of magic works, and that would be your Promethea, where for 18 issues or so, it would just become about each step of the Kabbalah's tree of life or whatever. But the art knows, you gotta give it to him. Art was, you know, art was, that was what, James Williams III.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Yeah, James Williams III, doing beautiful work, as always. Yeah, yeah. Now, we're far away from this, but since we're sitting in Pulling and Dynamite play, is playing a talking horse, would you call him a gentleman Bronco? I might.
Starting point is 00:19:07 I might do that. That of course being a reference to a movie that the director of Napoleon Dynamite made afterwards, but not one that John Hader was in. Yeah. Cool. So your jokes, you'll count. It's still count. Give me give you half credit.
Starting point is 00:19:21 I have credit. Okay. So going back to America's best comments. Well, this might this might make a little more sense for you guys. It's similar to how to speak of another artist. It's similar to how some of the second way black metal bands like Dark Throne, again, when is low fi and as abrasive as possible, again, tries some vert traditional heavy metal tropes.
Starting point is 00:19:40 But then nowadays, I've kind of harken back to the stuff that they love growing up. More traditional, new wave of British heavy metal type stuff, motor head type stuff. So it's the same thing, you know, it's, you know, we're all caught in the cycle of sort of like, classicism and then things get more broken than they get postmodern and then they go back to classic. Exactly. So when you're young, when you're young, you feel like it's time to make your, make your mark and so you've got to screw things up and change them.
Starting point is 00:20:05 And then when you get older, you get afraid and tired and you go, uh, let me just do stuff that I like that sounds like I like. And you can look at the same thing with, with Martin Scorsese, his early younger work, you had movies like Mean Streets and then later you have more run-of-the-mill stuff like Silence. Okay. First thing. I want to go back to the stories of spiritually damaged monks from in Japan that I remember
Starting point is 00:20:28 from my childhood. Well, in a way, Elliott, it makes sense because I don't know if you knew this, but movies used to be silent. Oh, I did not know that. This talking horse tells us he's going to tell us the true story while walking through a circus. By the way, this talking horse actually talks, which like early on I thought like, oh, the horses, he said talking horse, damn.
Starting point is 00:20:49 I know early on I thought they just put Peter, peanut butter in his mouth and he moved his life in the world of the film, this horse talks, which no one has been impressed by it. Yeah, I thought that, oh, this horse is just going to talk to us, maybe to Pinocchio, but no, this horse talks to everyone and everyone's aware that it's a talking horse, which makes the fact that this puppet talks much less impressive, especially because the puppet, like puppet, sorry, people can think like, oh, this is some sort of dance piece or pop and a Tomaton that has been like, this is a trick, you know. Yeah, this is a boy with his skin painted to look like wood, which is what I would assume. If I saw this talking puppet, there's this is a world where there is a boy with his skin painted to look like wood,
Starting point is 00:21:25 which is what I would assume, if I saw this talking puppy, there's a world where there's a talking horse, there's a fox man and a cat man walking around, but everyone is so excited and impressed by a talking puppet that walks around. And at one point, doesn't Chepedo even say, like, you're the world's only talking horse?
Starting point is 00:21:41 Very early on. To me, this is way more exciting because we can talk to this horse. We can ask it questions about what it is to be a horse exactly. What a horse life is. And seeing something 100% unique, like the world's only talking horse. It's similar to years ago when I was in Barcelona and I visited the zoo and I saw a fluket denue, the world's only snowflake for non-spanage speakers.
Starting point is 00:22:02 There's a lot of snowflakes, dude. I know. There's a lot of experience. There's nothing true. Which is weird to name the unique creature like snowflake, the world's only albino gorilla. I got to see him in the zoo. It was amazing. I'm like, I'm looking at the, like a very unique creature that is now throwing its own poop at me. But he had gotten very tired because the zoo had been basically fucking this guy to death because they were like, we need another albino gorilla baby. So they had made him have sex with all these other
Starting point is 00:22:34 gorilla. It's horrible. Zuzer bad everybody. It was like Marcello, Mustriani. And I think Sifila read in that one movie where she to stay out of jail for selling cigarettes illegally. She needs to be pregnant. So she keeps making him give her babies and she eventually has sex with them to death, I think. It's a comedy. What a way to go. Okay. So we are introduced to Jepetto, a what a woodworker car old man.
Starting point is 00:22:57 He's implied he's an inventor of some kind because he has glasses that have little lenses at the top that you can swing down like jeweler's loops kind of. So he says some sort of all purpose like to win and. Yeah. And it's way the Leonardo of the other world. Okay. So, uh, Chepetto has this little wooden boy made and he's trying to name him. Uh, he's interrupted in this process by a guest who is a magical fairy named Lucilda who repays him for fixing her magic wand by magically bringing Pinocchio to life. Her reasoning is at least it will make for an extremely
Starting point is 00:23:37 interesting story. Sadly, that will not prove to be the case of the past. Unfortunately, no. She of course has a magical, I don't even know if it's magical at this point, a talking parrot. And this is where we get the title, of course, uh, split across, sprayed across the heavens. And I know you're a true story. You know, western mark, exclamation point. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:00 So, uh, we have to assume that I just want to say this isn't a true story though, right? I Mean it's tough because it says that so you're like I'm assuming it isn't like they could have legally say that right? The door is over the crack to say a little bit it might actually be true could this be true could this is this real? Could this be true? Could this, is this real? Okay, so we have to assume some time has passed. Pinocchio is stunt riding, Tiblet the Horse, in a series of various like flips and trick riding techniques.
Starting point is 00:24:37 And I hope you find this impressive because you're going to see this exact same series of tricks done multiple times throughout the movie. Well, this being a true story, they didn't want to invent new tricks that he didn't really do in real life. They're stuck with the catalog of tricks that Pinocchio and Tibal actually performed in real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm assuming in the Elvis movie, he doesn't start wrapping all of a sudden because he never did that in real life? These like Joja Camp doesn't show up in rap a song. I mean, it is a Bos Lerman movie. There is a pretty inaccurate versions of music in it.
Starting point is 00:25:12 But he doesn't sing that weird opera song from the fifth element at some point. Right. Doesn't do that. That would be great though. That's the number, that's his first number one hit. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, if that happens in Elvis, that will be the best movie I've ever seen. I mean, I haven't seen Elvis, so I don't really, and I don't really know what the, what
Starting point is 00:25:30 the, the factual inaccuracies are in it, but Dan, did you see it? What, what musical inaccuracies are there? I mean, I don't, I think it's less in Elvis's performance. They use a lot of like, you know, when he goes to sort of the black neighborhoods and I think Nashville. I'm sorry, I don't remember exactly like. There's a lot of rap music that's played just to sort of or sort of mashups of older music and rap music. Which is a. It's just background music.
Starting point is 00:25:59 It's not or are people forming it in the street? It's not a giant. It's supposed to be. Yes, it's not diegetic, but it's also supposed to be representative of like what Elvis is seeing in this community. Like the idea that like this, I think it's trying to make an equivalence, like put it throw us back to that time, like what would be sort of new and exciting in the same way back then. I see. that time, like what would be sort of new and exciting in the same way back then.
Starting point is 00:26:25 The same way that that in Deadwood, they swear a lot to give the idea of how much they swore in the West, but in the West, they didn't swear that much. It was just that they swore more than regular people. Right. Right. Now, do you think, do you think they play that kind of music because they want to represent that Elvis, his brain is operating at a higher level and he's hearing this music and he is almost imagining the future that will be created,
Starting point is 00:26:46 like the direction this music will go, many years in the future, and what do you think? What do you think about this movie I haven't seen yet? Good to meet you. I also do want to say, the Elvis performance is while not to that degree, they are a little more rockin' than like
Starting point is 00:27:01 the actual versions may have been at the time. Like everything's pumped up to indicate like this was. This was a felt like. Wait, by the massure of subtlety, Baz Lerman. Yeah, Elvis is an interesting movie. Like I kind of like to. On its own. I mean, I haven't seen it.
Starting point is 00:27:20 I was assuming we were gonna watch it for the podcast and now I gotta watch it on my own, okay. Yeah, I'm predisposed to like Baz Lorman just because his name sounds like a character from a Dickens novel who is who like lives in a cellar somewhere and has to do odd jobs for shillings. Yeah, okay, so we're barely into this movie. So he's still there. I think there's barely any movie there.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Yeah, this is, I was so glad watching this that Stewart was doing the summary because I wasn't taking notes and this movie flowed out of one side of my head as quickly as it floating. I just say, so it's slid off my brain as soon as the light stops, you know, hitting the light receptors. It's a frictionless movie, yeah. So, uh, Tibalde and Pinocchio, wander off, uh, we are introduced to detective Brioani and his two constables. Brioani looking for criminals, I guess. It's not clear what they're looking for, although Jepetto is very worried that they're going to see Pinocchio because I guess it's a crime for a puppet to be alive, right? Yeah. And much, much like Trevor Noah, he was born a crime.
Starting point is 00:28:27 But it's, but Rionie is also set up to be like a buffoon, but by the end of the movie, we're supposed to, I guess, take him seriously as like a, like an officer of the law. And I'm very strange. I cannot overstate how much all of the line readings are strange. And with the characters like Bionie, it makes a little more sense because this is someone acting in their second language. And they're, I mean, it's not inappropriate so much as they're just basically affect less at all points. And then you have Paulie Shore doing his Paulie Shore voice,
Starting point is 00:28:59 but like programmed into an AI or something. Yeah. And then so Bionone shows up and he interrogates Chappetta a little and then he and his constables hear the sound of gunfire and run off screen. We never find out what that's about. We never find out. But what's weird is that Pinocchio and Chappetta have kind of a discussion or argument. Pinocchio wants to explore the world. Chappetta wants them to show restraint and be careful. But then they hear gunfire and Pinocchio wants to explore the world, Jepetta wants them to show restraint and be careful. But then they hear gunfire and Pinocchio runs off to investigate.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Okay, so we're introducing characters. We have a lot of characters to introduce, so now we go to a nearby circus, where an evil ringmaster, Mangio Fuoco, aka Papa Giafo, is brainstorming on ways to improve attendance to the circus with a human fox hybrid and a gun-toting cat hybrid. I guess the gunshots are from the cat, but the, but the, the constable never shows up. So I assumed that there was different gunshots that he was chasing after.
Starting point is 00:30:00 Yeah. I'm just assuming this is a place, a lawless wasteland of gunshots and everybody's fighting over the precious juice. Okay. The circus is the precious juice. Yeah. I mean, oh, juice. Oh, okay. You are precious to us. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate that. Based on the novel push by Sapphire. Yeah. With all that's what you're saying, is that I'm based on the novel push by Sapphire. All the gunfire makes the horse that is pulling a circus coach run off with the carriage and trapped inside is Bella, the ringmasters daughter and Pinocchio manages to stop the carriage with some careful horse riding and keeps it
Starting point is 00:30:46 from riding off. It's mainly been sitting on the horse and going left, left, the direction away from the cliff. And, but in Pauli Shores patented sort of like half wine. To lift, to lift. He's so hard to do. It's an unusual performance. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:12 The I my favorite thing about Pauli Shores performance is the kind of weird way he pronounces tibolt's name, his horse friend father, tibolt. Okay, like the line that got a lot of play online was and I'm not gonna be able to do it as well as he does, but it's just like but father, when will I get to see the world? So strange. It's, it's pretty great. It's weird. And also, and the character, it's because it's my own. That's what I was supposed to be. Yeah, it's supposed to be, sometimes supposed to be a kid, and sometimes sounds like it's supposed to be like a real jokester, japester character, but he doesn't really have funny lines. I mean, he sounds like it's supposed to be like a real jokester, japester character, but he doesn't really have funny lines.
Starting point is 00:31:46 I mean, he sounds like what he is now, which is a bit like that's what Pinocchio sounds. But yeah, well, I don't know what a wooden larynx should sound like. That's true. Good point. Good point. It's amazing. Definitely a vibrate. I mean, like, you should sound, I guess like a clarinet maybe you were in Omo.
Starting point is 00:32:03 True. Yeah. Now we're.'re no true. Yeah. Now. No, no, no. Yeah. Okay. So Pinocchio has rescued Bella. Bella asks for the name of her savior, which of course is Jesus Christ. But in this case, the no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the uh... and if you heard the group blues
Starting point is 00:32:25 now uh... this is when men uh... mangeo foroco and his uh... two henchmen show up uh... the cat character immediately shoots pinocchio pinocchio collapses having been shot but it turns out his wooden body is in pervious to bullets in fact there is no sign that a bullet hit hit at any point. I would say that wood is one of the most pervious of one of the most winterable. Yeah. Manjio Fuoco introduced himself as also Papa Giafo. He tries to convince Pinocchio and Timult to join his circus, which Pinocchio is very excited about. They then run back home, Pinocchio quickly convinces jupato to let him go. I thought this was going to be a much bigger thing, but in fact, jupato's like, fuck it, dude, just be careful. And he's like, okay, I will,
Starting point is 00:33:16 but he's not going to be. Meanwhile, detective Brio. He's got a girl out there. Get on there. Yeah, hit it, buddy. The meanwhile detective Brioanie is following the circus for some reason. I don't know if you guys caught it, but I don't think they've established there's been any crimes going on. They have not. And they do not until until until the circus is identified as a game of criminals later in the movie, we never see any crimes taking place and no one talks about theory. I it's a detective just finds Pinocchio suspicious for moment one for whatever understandably. I mean, he is again, he is a soulless wooden abomination that is walking around and talking. So yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:55 So the circus puts on a performance. Pinocchio does a very normal talking animals that that populate this world. Gun toting talking animals. The, um, okay, gun tooting talking cat man. Uh, go about your business. That's it. That checks out. Well, well, well, wouldn't boy.
Starting point is 00:34:11 I don't think so. So the circus arrives in town and they put on a show for an initially very skeptical crowd. But then Pinocchio does all the stuff you did earlier. You want to know why they went there because one of the crowd goes, this is bad. I saw this show last time and it, well, why'd you come again? Why the fuck are you here? You have to assume it's not Russia.
Starting point is 00:34:28 There's not a lot. There's not a lot of entertainment. There's the, it reminds me of entertainment is having something to complain about. Yeah, that's fair. There's a, there's a old story about a, it was the 1840, I can't remember, 1840 or 1840 election. The one where William and Henry Harrison was running. And one of the big stunts was that supporters of his had a huge ball made out of tin
Starting point is 00:34:53 and they would roll it from town to town and say vote for William and Henry Harrison. And people would come from miles around when they heard this tin ball was coming to see it because there was so little entertainment in the world that they were like a huge ball of tin. I've never seen that. Let me spend hours and I can't wait for my farm when work needs to be done. I might turn out for a big tin ball that someone's rolled into town. Honestly, how far would you travel for a big tin ball? Not far, you know, like if I look, if it was in Manhattan, and I was there already for work,
Starting point is 00:35:24 I'm like, maybe I'll check out this tin ball. Yeah, well, that's not the situation. This is, most of Americans are still rural at the time. This is a day out of your life that you're spending to go see this tin ball. And you're not even seeing the tin cup, the hilarious Kevin Kostner film. It's just a big tin ball. They don't have to wait many years for that again. To mates, wait a century to see that film.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Yeah, so they had to go see the tin tin ball and then they had to do their reaction podcast when they talk about seeing the tin ball. Did I am here to review the tin ball that rolled through town? Yeah, it was pretty good. It was big. It was made out of tin. I think I'll probably vote for William Harry Harrison, you know, Tippy canoe and all that.
Starting point is 00:35:59 So here's the thing about this circus act that I want to mention. I don't understand this audience. So the audience, they see a trick that's not that amazing. He shoots confetti out of a gun and everyone goes, ooh, and then the cat points his finger at something and it explodes as if he shot it. And the audience goes, boo, I did not, does not make any sense. That should be the opposite reactions. The first trick, who cares?
Starting point is 00:36:23 The second one, that's a great trick and they do not like it. Yeah. Yeah. I would run screaming out of the tent that I knew that that cat could possibly just explode things with his finger. Amazing. Also, also again, combining a talking horse and a talking puppet on the same bill to me dilutes the impact of both. They were just called the talking animal show. That's probably why Tibal doesn't talk during the show, right? No, it would be, it's true. He only acts as a regular horse. He does not talk during the performance.
Starting point is 00:36:53 He's like, he's like teller that way. So it was called Pinocchio and Tibal, and they would show how magic tricks were done, but Tibal would refuse to speak during the show. Yeah. Now Pinocchio obviously is a huge hit. Papa Giafos like, Hey, you got to travel the world with me. And Pinocchio's like, I'm fucking down to clown. Let's do that shit. Tim Alt's like, not so only way that Pinocchio is able to get, able to convince Tibble to let him go on this world tour of being in a circus
Starting point is 00:37:32 is he has to have Tibble agree to be his father. But Tibble is his new father, which is a weird turn of events, but not as weird as you would think. I would say, this is my favorite aspect of the movie, is that he goes, what about your father? No, he says, well, why don't you stand in as my father? And he goes, okay, Tiffel's really flattered to be asked to this, and throughout the movie. It's like no rehearsal. Throughout the movie, Pinocchio refers to Tiffel as dad.
Starting point is 00:37:56 And then later on when Tiffel is not letting him do things, he goes, come on, dad, aren't I supposed to learn courage? And I love the idea of Tiffel of Pinocchio badgering his talking horse to let him do the things that he wants. He's bullying him into being a dad that lets him to do things. I also wonder if this is maybe part of the semi-erotic gay embrace of this movie because he's like, well, Pinocchio, yeah, Pinocchio's like, like the movie tries to make it seem like he's interested in Bella, but there
Starting point is 00:38:27 doesn't seem to be any sparks there. Whereas, there's this sort of like- That's a whole kind of life. Wood. It could be very dangerous for him. It feels like this daddy thing with the horse is like kind of a king- Kind of a king- A king-relationship maybe.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Who knows? I don't know about that, but then again, it's a true story. So there's still close to the actual relationship between Pinocchio and Tim Alt. And historians have been, you know, rumoring about it for years about what was really going on between the two of them. And let me say, I'm not, I'm not, I want to say I'm not playing into the dumb conservative idea like well, if someone's gay, then maybe they'll be into sex with horses. Like, I apologize if it, if there's any chance
Starting point is 00:39:09 that it comes off as that, I'm just referring to these two fantasy characters. Dan is in, Dan is in no way equating being gay with bestiality. He is only saying that in this specific relationship, it is a gay bestiality relationship between Pinocchio and Cipal. That is not too, BSD out of relationship between Pinocchio and Tipple. That is not too, that is not too, in any way, it's pastations on other same sex relationships,
Starting point is 00:39:31 which are, as we all agree, and this is maybe insincere, not a joke, they are healthy, they are natural, they are normal, and if they are the relationship that is right for you, then they are beautiful. But Dan is just saying that in this one specific, it's just like a gay relationship. Fantasy. Between Russian, and the whole. An opio adaptation. Yeah, this is their particular relationship. Now, you had mentioned, you guys had mentioned Bella earlier,
Starting point is 00:39:56 and this is her time to shine. She does a little tight-rope walks thing and sings a song about like being herself or something. It's very pink from the greatest show, man. Yeah,, she thinks about so few people know the thrill of performing like this and being in the stars or something. This is their first shot, Mom Spaghetti, etc. Yeah, and she's not going to throw away her shot and then the cat shoots a gun. Yeah, it's great. And then we get a lot of. She's just like your country. She makes a lot of big mistakes. So we get a montage of successful circus performances. This circus is hitting it off. And a lot of the posters now feature Bella and Pinocchio. What a team. It seems strange that this pretty lackluster circus with their whole fortunes will be turned
Starting point is 00:40:41 around by what's essentially just a boy doing horse tricks. But hey, to true story, it happened, you know, maybe that's what Russia needed at the time, or we have it, they live in Italy, they don't live in Russia, they live in Italy, but that's what rural Italy needed at the time. It's a very Russian Italy, let's just say that. The same way that people look back at a lot of past, they look back at figures like Pauli Shor, and they say, how was that a success? How would he start? How did he start in multiple movies?
Starting point is 00:41:07 It's what America needed at the time. It was our hero for the time. Yeah. So Pinocchio, you deserve, but sometimes you get the hero you need. Like with a lot of performers that have to perform in high stress environments and close proximity, Pinocchio and Bella fall in love. And Tibal tries to convince Penochio to make the first move, which common, fatherly thing to do. Penochio tries to, but Bella drives Penochio away for fear that her father will use him to
Starting point is 00:41:36 commit crimes or something. Yeah, it's not clear. I will say, so John Hader's performance is Tibal, especially in the scene. This is not trained when Tibal is frustrated with everything that is said to him or going on around him and he's constantly exasperated in a way that I did, I did find unintentionally funny. I mean, I think that that's kind of John Haydner's note. Yes, that's true.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Uh, Pinocchio learns from the cat and the fox that there is a magic fairy who can turn him into a real boy. So he's like, maybe if I turn into a real boy. So he's like, maybe if I turn into a real boy, Bella will love me. So Pinocchio and Tibolt set off on an adventure the end. Just kidding. We have only a movie left. I think he, I think it was the clown that told him about. Oh, yeah, I think you're right. Because it leads up to, this is in the IMDB
Starting point is 00:42:22 quotes section. This is one of my favorite lines in the movie as expressed exasperatedly by John Hader as Tibalt. So one clown said something, and then another clown said something, but the real clown here is you Pinocchio, because you believe them. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Put that on.
Starting point is 00:42:38 That's actually pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, Sam let, yeah, put it on a piece of driftwood in three or four different fonts. Yeah. Yeah. So they, while they're on the road, the Fox and Cat dress up, put on this like show to try and trick Pinocchio into, and Tibolt into giving them their five gold coins. Was it the first time they worked? They tried and rob them. Was this the first time we did a five gold coins? I think so. Yes.
Starting point is 00:43:02 And because Tibolt's like, what are we going to do? We don't have money and Pinocchio's, don't you remember? We have five gold coins. And I was like, did I miss the five gold coins? Like he says that like it's a big thing we heard about before, but I guess it's not. So they, they're about to give up when they find Lou Sildres magic mountain. Caro, Lou Sildres parrot shows up and tries to scare them off by causing a rock slide, but they outrun the rock slide and jump over a closed gate. So I, I, I started
Starting point is 00:43:31 it again. They already think there's evil spirits there because when the clown is telling about Lucilda's mountain, he has a line that I have to assume was a translation issue where the clown says something like, but, but be careful because be careful because her path is evil spirits. And I had to sort of wind it and watch again. I think I think there's a word missing there. I think it was meant to be like haunted by evil spirits. Yeah, but it doesn't. So I gotta say to this is the part of the movie. Like some of this is going to be a thrilling surprise to me because this is where the movie like my brain really started to reject the film. to me because this is where the movie, like my brain really started to reject the film that I was watching.
Starting point is 00:44:07 So they find Lucille does, I guess, like castle or whatever, and she turns them away. She says that she can't turn Pinocchio into a real boy. And then after they leave, she's like, of course, in order to be human, you just have to be human. And I was like, of course, in order to be human, you just have to be human. And I was like, what the fuck? You feel like believe you're human. Like, like, all it takes to be human is to think you're human. And I'm like, what?
Starting point is 00:44:33 Yeah, I'd like to act to, if you're a human, then you'll be, but it's, the parrot is like, why didn't you turn him back into a boy? And she's like, eh, it wasn't the right time. And it reminds me so much of the Wizard of Oz and movie I love. But the end when Glinda's like, why you could have gone home this whole time. And I wish Dorothy would be like, yeah, maybe if you told me, how was I supposed to know?
Starting point is 00:44:52 Good looking out Glinda. I come from Kansas, dude. We don't have magic shoes there. I don't know how they work. So I never knew that if you click the heels three times, then you instantly operate the go home backup fail safe. You got to look, it's the same way when you go to, um, and when you go to airport security and every airport has a different way of doing security, like whether you put shoes on the conveyor belt, but the people there think that theirs is the only way. So if you put your shoes in a bin, they're like shoes on the belt, like you're a moron. Is that a stupid thing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:21 When you go to a fancy restaurant, like, can you ever dined with us before? I'm like, you're a restaurant, right? It's not going to be like, you're not going to like, pour the soup on my head or something, right? Yeah, it's not going to the good witch. It's going to the laissez faire witch. Sure. You can't figure it out by yourself.
Starting point is 00:45:36 Dorothy. Yeah. Take a look at the mirror. Glendale good, but not great witch. Yeah. So Pinocchio overhears Detective Breone, that Detective Breone is telling his constables that they want Pinocchio on suspicion of burglary. He believes that Pinocchio, because he's the star of the circus, is the ringleader, which
Starting point is 00:46:00 is weird, because there's already a ringleader. There's a ringleader of this like circus crime gang. This is the first time we learned that there's been crimes actually committed. Yes. Yeah. Then Pinocchio and Tiblet have an argument. It is very much the Shrek Donky argument. It is no different. Don't worry. They're going to get back together. But they walk off in opposite directions. Walk off in opposite directions, which is a perfect opportunity for Pinocchio to get captured by detective Breone.
Starting point is 00:46:27 But then before anything bad happens, unless you consider Breone's handkerchief being stuffed in his mouth, before anything else bad happening, depends on how dirty the handker chip is. Yeah, that's true. There's no situation where you want a handkerchief non-consensually stuffed in your mouth. That's true. But like, if it's been heavily used, it's a different situation, whether it's freshly laundered.
Starting point is 00:46:48 Oh, look at Brioni. You know, he's, he's, he just spore and snot into that thing. There's no way he just, there's no way he's a gentleman about it. Yeah, he's like a caretaker of midnight's children. So he works at a pickle factory. Yep. Uh, so, uh, Timmel shows up and saves him by kicking all the comps into a tree. It's very exciting than they leave.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Tibble then decides to go, they split up again to Tibble. Tibble says they have some kind of mystery project to go on, but Pinocchio should wait here. Pinocchio immediately disobeys that disobeys his horse father to go on. Very realistic boy behavior, very realistic boy, his age behavior to immediately run off when his horse father tells him stay right here. I guess fathers starting to mark brothers. As soon as Penochio is separated from Tibolt, he is again captured this time by Manji
Starting point is 00:47:42 of Ioko and gets thrown into a cell along with his actual father, Jepetto, who had who had gone looking for Pinocchio and then it got captured by Papa Gioffo, aka Manji O Fyoko. What is this? An Altman movie, so many characters to follow. Manji O Fyoko demands, Jepetto create him an army of wooden bullies. Okay. Jepetto's like, well, they won't be alive. And he's like, you better make them alive.
Starting point is 00:48:11 Tibult then runs into Bella while on his secret mission. And he learns the situation. And he's also like super mean to her as if it's her fault. It's really weird. But then he sees that she's got a matching handkerchief to the one that was stuffed in Pinocchio's mouth. How is that going to all play together? Tiblet comes up with a scheme with the rest of the circus troupe in the middle of the circus performance because of course the show must go on, right? That's what they say, right, Dan? They do say that, some of them. In the middle of the performance, all of a sudden they sing, all the performers who
Starting point is 00:48:45 are not the two henchmen and Papa Giafo, sing a song, explaining Mangio Fioca's thieving and establishing their innocence. The song does not rhyme. Yeah. I guess this is the way that they're like imparting the information without drawing attentative themselves in like like, I mean, but they're literally performing in the middle of a circus. Singing. They're drawing so much attention.
Starting point is 00:49:09 They could just as easily just whisper it to police officers. They're afraid of being caught, I don't know. No, but they, I think they know what they're doing. They want to publicly humiliate my whole. Yes, and it's the thing where if everyone knows, if everyone knows publicly and everyone knows they said it, then if anything happens to that, yeah. Yes, yes. No matter who the call was.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Okay, I've changed my entire opinion of the film. So then in the, it's a tightly wound puzzle box that in the ensuing chaos, in the ensuing chaos, Mangio Fuoco starts a fire. Pinocchio is trapped in the burning tent. Uh-oh, but Tiblet saves him and then Bella kisses him, which transforms him into a real boy. Breone then apologizes. Lucilda shows up to remind Pinocchio that she told him how to be a real boy the whole time
Starting point is 00:49:55 and you're like, what? And then there's a big reveal that Bella is actually Detective Breone's missing daughter, purchased by Mangio Fuoco from the kidnappers. And then he gives up his life as a police officer to run a circus, which I think is a win. That's a W, right? I guess so. Yeah. Is that the end?
Starting point is 00:50:14 That's the end. We did it. Okay. That's the end of which. That's the end of the story. You can't add any other stuff. I also like I was watching this. I was so tired.
Starting point is 00:50:22 And then as soon as the first credit rolled my brain said, well, you're off the clock and I feel sleepy. I mean, if anything, Dan, that's better than some other movies where you fall asleep. No, I know. Before the credits are all. Yeah. So when you're saying is Pinocchio true story really captured your attention and kept you open.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Yeah, I guess. Well, I mean, yeah, more than what was it? Roll cop was one of them anyway. Yeah. So when I was sick, I want to really, um, Hey, is this a, this is where we do final judgments, whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or movie we kind of liked, I will say this is a bad bad movie. There is so little to it. All the characters dialogue is basically just sort of explaining the next thing that they're going to do in the least with the least energy that you can imagine.
Starting point is 00:51:16 And no one has any particular character motivation, really like unlike in other versions of Pinocchio, Pinocchio doesn't seem to care about being a real boy. He just wants to see the world and he does that so early in the film that he just seems like such a passive protagonist to me and everyone else it seems pretty passive as well and I would recommend maybe looking up little clips of this on the internet because Pauli Shores vocal performance is this on the internet because Pauli Shores vocal performance is bizarre to see coming out of Pinocchio, but I don't know. Just watch the trailer. You're probably get enough of it. And the trailer really gives you the full effect. Yeah. That's what I have to say. What do you guys have to say? I might say, I would say this is close to a good bad movie. It's,
Starting point is 00:52:04 I mean, it is full of very silly line readings. The animation is terrible. It doesn't make a ton of sense. It isn't, it is over 90 minutes, which feels like a shame. Like, trim it down. Follow Amity Villainspaces model, please. To 12 minutes, a title. 12. Yeah, you might get more out of just the trailer, but there it is very dumb and silly. So if you're doing like a bad movie night and you like watching bad anime movies, I think this one's right up your right up your alley. Yeah, I think I agree with Stu and Dan both. I think it's kind of on the on the borderline. If you're watching this on your own, please God don't. It's it's a bad movie. But if you
Starting point is 00:52:39 want to watch a very short-ish animated film that is not good and laugh at it. This is going to be less painful than say like food fight, which is a, which is a, you know, like throwing dirt in your eyes, you know, but food fight is consistently wild. That's true. There's so much strange to, like this is, but that on the fucking box. Yeah, this is such a nothing. It's such a low energy story It's a very low energies and I have to admit my my younger son has recently become very obsessed with the original Disney
Starting point is 00:53:12 Pinocchio the 1940s one and so we've been watching that a lot at our house and it is such a gorgeous movie at like the animation is so Beautiful in it and it has such a real it's such an intense movie. So to be watching that movie, at the same time watching this one, that movie is so intense and so vivid and scary and this one, and has funny parts, and this movie is just kind of like, it feels like they were waiting for people to feel in the stuff,
Starting point is 00:53:39 like this is the earliest draft where they put the funny things and the scary things in, but it's just really yes, just a real nothing of a movie. Like, this is the earliest draft before they put the funny things and the scary things in, but it's just really, yeah, it's like just a real nothing of a movie. So I would say also watch the trailer of you, and you're pretty much get it, yeah. Oh my gosh, hi, I'm Dave Holmes, host of the Pop Culture Trivia Podcast Troubled Waters. On Troubled Waters, we play games like
Starting point is 00:54:05 Motivational Speeches, and it goes a little like this. Riley, give us an improvised motivational speech. Why people should listen and subscribe to Troubled Waters. I look around to this ad, and I see a lot of potential to listen to comedians such as Jackie Johnson and Josh Gundamon, and they need you to get out there and listen to them attempt
Starting point is 00:54:25 to figure out sound reabus clues or determine if something is a Game of Thrones character or a city in Wales. I have chills. I'm going to give you 15 points. All that and so much more on Troubled Waters. Find it on MaximumFun.org or wherever you choose to listen to podcasts. Hey there beautiful people. I'm Trevelle Anderson.
Starting point is 00:54:45 And I'm Jared Hill. We are the hosts of Fanty, the show where we have complex and complicated conversations about the great areas in our lives, the things that we really, really love sometimes but also have some problematic feelings about. Yes, we get into it all. You wanna know our thoughts about Nicki Minaj and all her foolishness? We got you. You wanna know our thoughts about Nicki Minaj and all her foolishness?
Starting point is 00:55:05 We got you. You wanna know our thoughts about gentrification and perhaps some positive question mark? Uh-oh. Aspects of gentrification, we get into that too. Every single Thursday you can check us out at maximumfund.org. Listen, you know you won it, honey.
Starting point is 00:55:20 So come on and get it. Period. Let us move along to our sponsors. The flop house is sponsored overwhelmingly by the kind of givings of our members who give to maximum fun and their leavings to giveings and their leavings. Yeah, please don't send us any leavings. But we also have a few other sponsors.
Starting point is 00:55:51 One of them this week is Squarespace. It's the all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business online. You can stand out with a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything, your products, content you create, content you create even, and even your time. And yeah, I've used Squarespace, I've made my own website with it. I found it very easy to use.
Starting point is 00:56:17 You can stand out in any inbox with Squarespace email campaigns, collect email subscribers and convert them into loyal customers. Use insights to grow your business, learn where your site visits and sales are coming from, and analyze which channels are the most effective. Sell your products on an online store, whether you sell physical or digital products, Squarespace has the tools you need to start selling online. So why not go to Squarespace.com slash flop for free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop
Starting point is 00:56:51 to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And now we have a jumbo tron, read by me, friend of the flop house, Verda Herzog, yeah, you be, oh, hello. So happy 40th birthday to a, Werder Herzog! Yeah, you'll be, oh, hello! So happy 40th birthday to a great Werner Herzog and Fischer Nado, ex-files Connissuer, and biggest Jurassic Park fan there is, thank you for five years of unconditional love and support. Also, I never would have discovered
Starting point is 00:57:20 Max Fun and the flop house without you, so hooray! Let's make pretty new animal friends on our walks together. Shurn d'assistic gift. This is from Nebel from An. Oh, donka. So so shun. Hey, it's me, Stuart. Wow, Werner is always just here reading a great message. How do we manage to get him? Oh, you know, it's a job of Tron. He'll do anything reading a message. How do we manage to get him? You know, it's a jumbo. Try and he'll do anything for a buck. Do do do have any to have any Jack Richard's for me to be.
Starting point is 00:57:54 I hate that Jack. Richard. He's such a Jack. Pa did my French Jack. Pa did my Deutsche Jack. Jack Richard, but you're real. I'm both. Hey guys, before we move on, I just want to say I have something Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha New York volume one, the death train and volume two, the Bronx's burning are available in collected forms now on comic book store shelves. And it was just announced this week. I'm doing volume three. That's right. December 7th will be the first issue of the maniac of New York.
Starting point is 00:58:34 Don't call it a comeback. The third volume in the maniac of New York series. All your favorite characters are back. The maniac, Gina Greens, Zelda Petty Bone, Mayor Demanzio, Lena Patrella, all your favorites. But an Elliott. Yes. Surely the maniac can't return. Why is that Dan? Is it because Gina Green burned him to a crisp and then stabbed him to the face with his own blade at the end of the maniac of New York Bronx's burning spoiler?
Starting point is 00:58:58 Well, yeah, I didn't want to give spoilers, but it seemed like such a definitive end for a maniac. Well, then perhaps you'll be surprised by the threat in maniac of New York. Don't call it a comeback, Dan. Don't call it a comeback. He's always been here, which is the scary part. But you'll find out, I think you'll be a little surprised
Starting point is 00:59:15 and a little intrigued by what happens. And who the new question mark threat is? You may have heard some noise in the background. I just want to say that's because Stuart, we were mapping while Stuart cleverly tried to sneak out to get himself, I guess, some, some celtzer, the floor celtzer, which he then immediately dropped all over the floor, and it's cleaning up behind me.
Starting point is 00:59:42 My character drank his clumsy. Uh, yeah, look at all the, behind me. My character drag is clumsy. Yeah, let go. Oh, and that's it. So yeah, Dan, but you know what? I can't see it from where from where the camera is. So can you give me a, pay me a word picture of this mess of Celtser? This all gone in the podcast. Well, yeah, it is. It's a pink grapefruit
Starting point is 01:00:00 seltzer. It's a, it's a Schwepp sprang. Get out of Schweppes for sponsoring. It's all over. He dropped it all. He came back. I mean, it's rare that we break news live on the podcast. So yeah, tell us more, tell us more. You came back in with the paper towels and the paper towel holder, which he also immediately
Starting point is 01:00:21 dropped on the floor, along with my criterion edition of Miller's Crossing, Joel and Ethan Cohen film, that all. The audience, the fans are not gonna like it when I say this, but of all the Cohen brothers criteria is to drop, that's the one I would drop on this elser too. Really? It's just not my favorite, and everything I did to it.
Starting point is 01:00:37 One of my favorites, I think it was not one that I liked initially, but grows more for me every time. But now the floor at least is very clean because we all know the cleaning powers of Celter. I mean, usually... And the soaking up abilities of the Miller's Crossing criteria, didn't you think?
Starting point is 01:00:55 Oh, fuck, what am I missing? I wanna issue a correction rather. He had a pink grapefruit earlier, but the one he dropped was a black cherry silver. Yeah, that's a harsh review. A harsh review of Stuart's ability to carry drinks, which is not great since that's part of his profession.
Starting point is 01:01:16 Part of my profession. So, just to pull back the curtain, I did a night shift last night. I don't work nights very often anymore. So I worked until 4 a.m. and I didn't get much sleep and I am not doing well. And that happened to be on the day that we're doing our early recording. We had to, because of some family stuff I had. But Stu, you're doing great. Did a great summary and Dan, you're doing great too. But I mean, obviously it's nice for you to say, I'm gonna have to wait until next week to hear
Starting point is 01:01:47 how I did on the peach pick. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I feel like there won't be quite as kind as you. You giving you that review, is it yourself as the host of that and whatever hot guests I manage to, sure, I manage to yoke in there. Let's move on to letters, which are from listeners.
Starting point is 01:02:08 We've been using letters this whole time, Dan, to create the words we're speaking. That's true. We're soaking it. But this first letter, you're soaking in cells, or I believe. That's true. This first letter is from Sarah, who writes,
Starting point is 01:02:20 Hey, peaches, I come to you with a dire warning, do not be tempted by the siren song or rather siren's movie poster of Noah's Shark. I love shark movies good and bad. And my good friend recently suggested I choose one to watch that we hadn't seen. I cast a wide net into the sea of streaming movies. And when I saw the title and the premise I chose Nora's Noah's shark. Nora's shark about a little girl and the shark she comes to learn. Nora shark Ron. Shark Ron.
Starting point is 01:02:51 Anyway, my dudes, while there are a deed some charmingly benefits they don't make up for the fact the premise is never delivered upon. It's just some priest dude wandering through the woods looking for evidence of the arc. Nariye Shark vs. Elephant, Shark vs. Lion, or Shark Team up match with Noah is even hinted at. Anywho, if you ever had to stock about with two of each type of animal movie, which would you pick? I guess since there's a Gajillion species, maybe each pick one animal as an example, thinks it'd be well. Sarah has a cat fan, a cat fancier, if you will. I'm going to stake a claim to cats and the cat, a beautiful double feature,
Starting point is 01:03:41 one with horrific post-apocalyptic cat human singers and one where a puppet cat fights an alien who's gonna do bad things to the world and a dog who was also, it was a good dog. Good dog. Okay, so you got a bonus dog in there along with the two cats. Do you guys have answers for this two of an Alan? Sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Yeah. Fuck it. Why not? We're doing, we're doing, I'll be doing alligators. So I'll do a lake placid and gator's during what Bert Reynolds. No problem. I don't think there's an actual alligator and gator is there? What?
Starting point is 01:04:22 Crawl rules too. Sorry. Actually, I might swap out like class for crawl. Yeah. Not crawl. Not crawl, which again, is no alligator is just like gator I believe, but maybe gator as a theater in it. Okay. The sort of the gator of a man. Yeah. All right, Peter, we're real one. I was thinking about I was thinking about the kinds of animals that didn't make it onto the ark and I wish they had. So I was thinking about dragons, which of course, like dinosaurs went extinct because they couldn't fit on the ark and therefore drowns during the delusional. You chonky.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Yeah. Noah said, Noah had a sign that said, you must be less chonky than this to get on the ark. And the elephants were like, you just mean it. That's just a picture of Godzilla 2000. The least chunky of the Godzilla's. And so yeah, that really was the least chunky of the Godzilla. Yeah, such a bummer. And you know, I hate to, I hate to size shame anybody, the new Godzilla long time listeners. No, I find a little too chunky.
Starting point is 01:05:25 But it's my say that stuff. Right. But the the Emoryk Devlin Godzilla weight on two thin, two thin, dangerously unthin unhealthy, a bad role model for young monsters everywhere. But my Godzilla can throw that shit back, baby. But I love that. I think Godzilla, the classic Godzilla, who I think is just the right size. So it's a real Goldilocks situation or Godzilla locks.
Starting point is 01:05:49 But the animal I was going to choose was, again, dragons. Dragons are an animal I wish had survived the flood. But as we all know, they didn't. That's why we just find their bones every now and then. And I would choose dragon heart because you need a wise old dragon, voice by Sean Connery. And Pete's dragon because you need a goofy screw up dragon. It's gonna cause trouble. You need, and two of them, I think,
Starting point is 01:06:08 will equal one good dragon, yeah. Yeah. That's, Elliot's theory of, I don't know, dragon, but I like that. And you pick Pete's dragon, of course, because the goofy screw up dragon's name is Elliot, right? Yeah, yeah. I have to protect Elliot's.
Starting point is 01:06:21 That's the way, that's why, if there was a deluge, I would of course take Pete's dragon. I would take Elliot from ET. I would take Elliot, the Michael Cain character from Hannah and her sisters. I would take Elliot, but not Beverly in, in, from dead ringers. And they're both Jeremy Irons. I only need one Jeremy Irons on the boat. And you know, other Elliot's I would take on too.
Starting point is 01:06:40 Yeah. And this is an important point because a lot of people, of course, think that the name of the dragon and Pete's dragon is Pete, but of course Pete, Pete, it's a, it's a possessive. Yeah. The dragon is not only a dragon, but this is a dragon that Pete, it's not shortening Pete is the dragon. Yeah, or his name Pete S dragon. That's not what it is. Yeah. It's like in fucking legend, Zelda. You're not Zelda, dude. You're Link. Oh, I had a very, I had a very frustrating conversation about this very topic with John Hodgson recently that that Max one contributors will find out about when our prisoner podcast be potting you. Who comes out eventually. But yeah, we had a long talk about that. I mean, it's possible he's just quoting a bit from, I wish I could remember
Starting point is 01:07:26 her name. She's a very funny writer for Colbert. I think she might be the head writer now, where she is the hero. It's a troll that she does for men on the internet, and it's pretty funny. I apologize for not recalling the name of that person who I have and is very nice, but I can't recall. This next letter and you're not going to try and you're not going to do the research. I could. I mean, it would just take time. We've got to keep moving with the floppers.
Starting point is 01:08:00 We already took a lot of time for the Celts or incident. We got to keep going. Slow things down, but maybe I'll look it up and I'll bring it in later on. Well, one of you guys are talking, uh, don't listen to us. Why would I start now? This is from Lawrence last name with hell, who writes, Lawrence, a person or Lawrence Kansas, the town.
Starting point is 01:08:20 Uh, I can only assume the whole town got together to write this letter to us. Arial Duma. That's, that's the town. I can only assume the whole town got together to make this letter to us. Nice place. Ariel Dumas. That's, that's the name Ariel. Oh, yeah, yeah. Um, Stewart, you descendant. I have to assume of the Dumas of three musketeers, ma'am. One can only hope. Stewart, you candy bar fortune. You. It is a strange thing. I will say this. It is how many candy bars are based on 19th century novels, not that many. Man in the iron mask. I mean, and they stopped making the Oliver Trist, the Irish rapper, the crackle in the iron mask. So hard to open that iron wrapper. That's why I went out of business. Of course, there's Mr. Goodbar based on looking for Mr. Goodbar, the Diane Keegan. It It was it was a weird movie for them to do a candy tie in.
Starting point is 01:09:08 Uh Stuart, you recently talked about wanting to host a show on Warhammer Plus. Yep. Is this the offer? How you gonna host? Is the godfather gonna get made? How you gonna host a show on Warhammer Plus? When you guys spent a whole show talking about a dude named Greece's and you didn't want to talk about Greece's gold tooth or the Ogor Ma tribes.
Starting point is 01:09:31 Uh huh, yep. You can't be missing tea balls like that and expect to be called up to the big leads, regards Lawrence. P.S. Stewart, please explain the adaptist, mechanicus, to Dan and Elliott until they make you stop. Can we make him stop before he starts? Is that, I mean, and I haven't even had a chance to talk about my personal Greece's gold do-storey. I do that. So I remember when I was
Starting point is 01:09:54 you do that instead of explaining anything about those who the adaptive mechanics. You want me to talk about it? I'm intrigued by who Greece is gold tooth is. At least just give us the basics of that. So years ago when I was working for GameSourc Shop, I remember when they introduced the ogre kingdoms at the time, which has now become the Ogore Maw Tribes for ages, Sigmar, which was the first brand new Warhammer fantasy army for a long time, and they were big
Starting point is 01:10:19 boys. They're big, they're big thick guys, shaped like bowling pins. I loved them. I was so excited. I knew I was going to start an army. And because I work for the company, I got ahold of some of the models early on. And Greece's Gold Tooth was one of the first models I got to paint up for my shop's display cabinet. And it took fucking forever because Greece's Gold Tooth, the richest of the the tyrants is this giant, very, very large, ogre guy, dripping in jewels and finerinies
Starting point is 01:10:48 being carried around by a raft of little goblin guys called noblars, which are very Brian frowed goblin types. Okay. I'm putting in words you guys, so you can visualize it. And it took me forever to paint this big boy. Oh, wow. It was really fun. It was really fun.
Starting point is 01:11:04 Yeah, that's a very detailed nature. Yeah, there's a ton of details, so many gems and jewels and stuff I had to paint. And I painted that up for my shop's cabinet so that when it came time for me to paint one up for my own army, I was like, look this and never got around to painting it. Instead, I focused on painting my limited edition store manager, only Brawg's slave lord model. Uh-oh, that's right. I have a very unique warhammer miniature in my cabinet, fully painted baby. Uh, we'll tell that story another day. Uh, about the adeptus mechanicus. So guys, the adeptus mechanicus are part of the, oh, wait, I'm running out of time. Okay,
Starting point is 01:11:37 let's move on. I have to have a question with when there's a valuable warhammer model, is it more valuable unpainted mint or is it more valuable if it's been painted? It kind of depends. I think you can probably get a little more if it's completely unpainted, but if you put out like a fair, like if you can put a professional paint job on it, it can be very valuable. But I think I feel like for something like that, if it's completely unpainted, especially new in box, it'll be worth more. I see. Okay. I'll remember that. Well, I'm sure that was pretty interesting. I, my brain shut down as soon as Warhammer ran out.
Starting point is 01:12:13 Now, the other question, how it, how would you rate, and this might be, this might be zipping into, into waters we want to cut, how would you rate Greece's gold tooth on the Rowling scale of anti-Semitic goblin stereotypes? Is it a full Rowling which is very anti-Semitic, or is it not, or is it a zero on that scale where it doesn't have, he's not obsessed with money, he doesn't have a long hook to nose, he doesn't speak in an alien language that's ancient and won't you can understand, you know? It's tough.
Starting point is 01:12:41 Warhammer is not known for having the's the best depictions of various things. Okay. I would say, I would say compared to one of my personal favorite old-timey warhammer armies that has been since discontinued the chaos dwarves who do have long hooked noses and curly beards and are evil. And they keep the Sabbath on Saturday. Yes, they do. Yeah, I don't know. It's, you know, it's fucked up. That's good to know. I'm starting to, my children are starting to get into the types of culture where I need to explain things to them. And I think they're slowly making their way into the larger world where they realize that, that Jews are a small portion of the humanity. So I'm trying to tell a lot of that.
Starting point is 01:13:27 I was trying to tell a lot of that. Yeah. Charlene was saying that when she was growing up and she'll yell at me when she hears this and I say it wrong, but the, she was saying that when she was growing up, she just kind of assumed that like growing up in Brooklyn that like it was like the world was half Christians, half Jews. Yes. And it is obviously not the case.
Starting point is 01:13:46 Especially when you're young and your family is the group of people that you spend the most time around, you're like, oh yeah, there's a lot of Jews out there. There's one of my favorite stories from my wife's old job in New York, she worked at a Jewish day school. And she was talking, she was reading them a book about presidents that mentioned that there were no, there was only one Catholic president
Starting point is 01:14:03 and there had been no Jewish or Muslim presidents. And she said, one of you in here, you may be you'll grow up to be the first Jewish president and one of the kids went, Barack Obama's not Jewish. Like they just, it had never occurred to them. Amazing. Okay, so let us move on to the final segment in the show where we recommend movies that might be a better use of your time
Starting point is 01:14:24 when tracking down this Russian polyshore Pinocchio film. Here's one of the problems with the world we live in today. And it's a minor problem that I'll say this. There are many great movies that are unavailable to stream right now. Major companies are making them unavailable to stream. They're removing them from their platforms. They are too expensive to license or whatever. But Pinocchio, a true story, is available on Amazon
Starting point is 01:14:47 every home in the world, I think, has ready access to rent it, which is ridiculous. That it's an easy access to this kind of low rent, far and crap, and I shouldn't say far, and that's a nativeist of me. But when there's many great films in the history of cinema that you just cannot see unless you get hold of an aging rotting VHS tape or a, you know, falling apart film strip.
Starting point is 01:15:08 Yeah. Uh, and that's the biggest problem in the world today. I mean, we sound like old cranks, but it's true. You know, don't, like this is why physical media is still alive. We're a movie podcast. We should be, we care about movies and shit. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:24 Exactly. Speaking of movies, I'd like to recommend a film that is new and theaters right now is called Barbarian. Oh shit. Let me close my ears. I saw, well, no, I'm not going to say anything that will spoil anything because they're barmarian in it. Yeah. Well, shut up, dude. Don't tell me anything. The film is surprising on a number of levels and even that like When you hear that a film is surprising that effect your experience of it too, so I don't want to say That much at all, but I I found it consistently enjoyable scary and funny by turns
Starting point is 01:16:01 It it goes to some Wild places, but the beauty of it is it's set up very methodically where everything along the way is done with a lot of patience and people making sensible choices for the most part rather than bad horror movie choices and because it is so well set up the turns it does take later on you know work because we have we have been appropriately grounded but also that grounding experience is not boring it is tense and thrilling on-sown. So I just really enjoyed it. If you like horror movies that are inventive, I think you should support this.
Starting point is 01:16:53 If you like horror movies like, look, I'm not a person who is turning on, quote, unquote, elevated horror necessarily, but I do think that that is a type of horror that people have figured out. That's how you get critical acclaim. But this is a smart, well-made horror movie in a much earlier tradition, I think, of bizarre horror that I enjoyed. So if that's the thing that you like, I say go out and support it. I had a great time and that's all I was able to say about it. I'm going to recommend a movie that is available on Shutter Big Surprise. I'm going to recommend a movie called Salume, which is this great nice and short movie about a trio of mercenaries who are attempting to
Starting point is 01:17:48 extract a drug trafficker from a city that is undergoing a coup and they end up getting stuck in a part of Senegal and they need to escape. And it ends up being super tense. There's some supernatural elements, but it all feels really grounded and it's, yeah, it's got some fun, it's got some really good performances. And if you like a little bit of like action movie and a little bit of horror stuff, It reminds me, it reminds me in parts of a little bit of a pitch black, a little bit of attack the block, especially in the kind of monster design. It's really cool. So if you're looking for a kind of a nice slim but impactful action horror movie, action horror movie, Saloon is great. And I'm going to recommend an old movie. What?
Starting point is 01:18:47 Not in theaters now. I recently, this is one that had been an old favorite of mine. I hadn't watched it in probably at least 10 or 15 years. I'm watching it recently, and that's the Lady Vanishes, the Alfred Hitchcock movie, that essentially was one of the ones that got him noticed by Hollywood. And it's just such a fun, kind of funny, but suspenseful, but just kind of like enjoyable, little mystery thriller. And I don't wanna say too much about the plot,
Starting point is 01:19:19 but you may know that involves a woman who is on a train. She befriends an old lady, suddenly the old lady disappears, and everyone on a train. She befriends an old lady. Suddenly the old lady disappears and everyone on the train for their own selfish reasons mostly refuses to admit that that old lady ever existed or that they ever saw her. And the young woman has to figure out what's going on. And I had forgotten that like the thriller elements
Starting point is 01:19:38 don't start until very far into the movie. Like the first 20 some odd or 30 minutes of the movie is just kind of like comedy at a small mountain hotel. And the characters kind of bumping into the movie. Like the first 20-some-odd or 30 minutes of the movie is just kind of like comedy at a small mountain hotel and the characters kind of bumping into each other, but it's still really entertaining the whole time. And it's just a super satisfying kind of fluff of a movie. It's the kind of movie that I feel like something like Death in the Nile that we watch recently is trying, wants, should be, wants to be. Yeah. Something that is like entertaining kind of like, um, not silly to the point where you're like, I'm not buying into this, but silly to the point where you are not worried about
Starting point is 01:20:13 the meaning of things and you're just having fun the whole time. And it's one of the best movies set on a train. People love trains. It's the most romantic way to travel, right, Dan? Mm-hmm. I mean, our president loves trains. That's for sure. I was thinking like president loves trains, that's for sure. I was thinking like...
Starting point is 01:20:26 Celebrate the recent calling off of a possible Amtrak strike with the Lady Vanishes. I was thinking, man, was that the happiest Joe Biden has been as president? I get to resolve a train issue. Oh, I assumed it was the hardest thing that he was like, not you two trains. You two are going to make life difficult. You two, like thing that he was like not you two trains. You two are going to make life difficult.
Starting point is 01:20:47 You two like that he felt betrayed. Yeah, I hear that if you go into the White House DVD collection, you're like, I don't see snakes on a plane anywhere, but they do have snakes on a train. Interesting choice. Well, that was a fun one to explain it being about an okay or true story. And I feel like it took us 20 minutes to get to the summary. Yeah, which we then breeze through because there's not anything yet, but I had a good time.
Starting point is 01:21:17 Thank you for watching with me and thank you, our listeners for listening to us talk up. Dare, are you, are you going to the Grey Havens? What's going on? I don't know. I'm just trying to be, I'm for listening to us talk. Dan, are you going to the Grey Havens? What's going on? I don't know. I'm just trying to be nice. If you go to the Grey Havens, you have to fucking tell me. It's going to tear me apart.
Starting point is 01:21:33 Okay. I'll tell you ahead of time. Hey, listeners, before you go to the Grey Havens, go to iTunes, leave us a review to help spread the word about the show or tweet about it or just, you know, old fashioned talk to someone in person. Tell them that you love this podcast. Maybe or else. Maybe it'll help us. You can follow the Flophouse pod on Twitter and the Flophouse pod cast on
Starting point is 01:21:56 Instagram. We also have a YouTube channel that I have to get back to. I was doing little clips from shows for a while and then that kind of fell off as my life got busier again, but I will try to get back to it. People don't push Dan too much. He has a job, he's working, he needs to support himself. He'll get your extra flop house clips on YouTube. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:22:18 We remember of Max and Fun, go to Max and Fun. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Dan's trying his best, okay? That kind of language is unacceptable. Stop, Dan, don't take it personally. Calm down, sir, sir. I'm going to have to ask you to leave, sir. The episode's almost over. Sir, if you could just hold it in, sir, sir, sir, sir. Yes, you can talk to my manager. You know what? I'm the manager, sir, sir. Okay. Goodbye. We have to leave now. Wow. Ellie, it's a cooler. Did you know that? You know, I, you know, maybe he's white nighting me,
Starting point is 01:22:46 but I don't care because I, you know, I appreciate it. That's it. Sir, well, thank you, sir. That's very sweet of you. Sir, sir, I had a good idea. Oh, well, sir. Well, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, day, you should end the episode.
Starting point is 01:22:59 This is getting two adults. Go to MaximumFund.org, check out all the other great MaxFund podcast. Thank you to our producer, Alex Smith, how will Daudi on Twitter that is H O W E L L D A W D Y? See what he's up to. Thank you for listening to the flop house. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stewart Wellington.
Starting point is 01:23:19 I'm Elliott Galen and this is sir. And we've got some big news guys. I'll tell you after the show. Okay. Okay. Hey, Dan, I'm surprised we managed to go through the whole summary and he didn't bring up those felonious goofs from the Pinocchio movie. Felonious goofs?
Starting point is 01:23:34 Yeah, didn't weren't there goofs that were like, there's a ton of sex in this movie or. Oh, yeah. Go to the IMDB page. Someone, they're not goofs. Someone had a little fun on the content warning section. Check it out. I like that. I don't have to take my word for it. Go to your local library's computer and look it up.
Starting point is 01:23:54 Look at the good. Who was the one doing the summary, but apparently this was Dan's responsibility to bring up. Well, he brought it to our attention in the text, guys. We were. I didn't want to. You know, let's jump off the train. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:24:08 You know, sometimes I find, at least you'd like to steer it might be in the state, I find that if I get less sleep, I'm temporarily in a much better mood than normal. Oh, interesting. And then, that's a lot of percent true. Every time Dan is like extra sleepier, sick people are like, wow, he was on fucking fire. Yeah
Starting point is 01:24:29 Look at he was he was burning up much like the Hulk. This my secret is I'm always tired That was the whole secret. He's always tired. Uh-huh. You know what I'm saying Elliott. I know what you're referring to It's something Mark Buffalo. You got that reference. Yeah Anyway I know what you're referring to. It's something Mark Buffalo. You got that reference. Yeah. Anyway. It is episode of podcast. Yeah, let's start. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture.
Starting point is 01:24:53 Artist-owned, audience supported.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.