The Flop House - Ep #383 - The Munsters, with Kevin Maher
Episode Date: November 19, 2022Kevin Maher, our old friend, host of Kevin Geeks Out, and author of the new book Santa Doesn't Need Your Help (with illustrations by New Yorker cartoonist Joe Dator) joins us to discuss the straight-t...o-Netflix film reboot of the old sitcom, The Munsters. And who better to direct this comedy film, than Rob Zombie, the rocker-turned-director known for his... light comic touch?Also, for those wishing to enter the SEXY XENOMORPH VIDEO CONTEST, here is a direct link to the isolated song file for the song of the winter, Sexy Xenomorph. Contest rules can be found down below, if you prefer reading them with your eye-holes over hearing them with your ear-holes.Wikipedia page for The MunstersMovies recommended in this episode:EegaThe SquareThe Tall TargetHappy Birthday to MeEver tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping. Sexy Xenomorph Contest: Full Rules --To enter the contest, make a music video for the song Sexy Xenomorph (link to song in show notes) in a style of your choosing.Once you’ve completed your masterpiece, upload it as a public video on YouTube with the words “Sexy Xenomorph” somewhere in the title, and be sure to credit the music to Howell Dawdy’s Fast Track and The Flop House podcast somewhere in the video or video description.Once the video is uploaded, email a link to us at flophousepodcast@gmail.com with the subject line "Sexy Xenomorph Contest."We’ll be accepting entries up to midnight on New Year’s Eve, 2022.Once we have all the entries, the Flop House gang will pick our favorite ones – somewhere between 5 and 10 depending on how many entries we get – and we’ll set up a page on our website where people can vote on who wins.The winner will get a Flop House prize pack and will get to pick a movie for us to cover.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
On this episode we discuss the monsters a silly movie perfect for non-stop
November
What?
Hold on. Is that a thing? Yeah, you watch a bunch of nutty movies. Oh, okay. Look you promised a hot one and you delivered Hey everyone, and welcome to the flop house I'm Dan McCoy.
Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington.
Hey, I'm Ellie Kaelin. We've got a very special guest today for no nonsense.
November, that's right. No nonsense, everybody. We're just doing what we're supposed to do.
Minimum of nonsense and joining us to help us with that is uh oh, Mr. Nonsense himself. No,
just kidding. It's Kevin Mar one of the friends of the show and one
of the great, great, great pop culture presenters of New York City. There's not exactly a succinct
way of describing what Kevin does, but he's the absolute best. I can try doing it.
There's a show called Kevin gigs out that he has done for a long time that if you like
the praise and take presentations we do at our live shows, the PowerPoints about silly things.
You would like this show and you would actually probably learn something unlike at our show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was, when I lived in New York, I was a long time attendee of these shows and I was
always inspired by them.
I was thought they were fantastic.
And you can get a taste of them.
Actually online, there's, there's some of them up.
I'm a big fan of Kevin's dealing with the trauma Vietnam through 80s detective show
presentation.
But he's here to promote his new book Santa doesn't need your help.
He's holding up his spirit.
He's holding it there for the viewers at home who don't exist.
And up and he's holding up the meaning of New York.
That's funny.
He's covering up with San Francisco Hanks.
They're fighting now.
I'm talking at all.
Which is a weird, I'm waiting for it to be done.
Okay.
No, please interrupt the case.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're showing Ellie finally going to get it.
I'm not going to interrupt.
He will not afford you.
I'm saying, what time is sharing the shelf? Yeah shelf with the maniac of New York, with the maniac of North
Pole.
I just want to say this bookstores, you should stock both of these books.
Santa doesn't need your help and not many of New York know with them on the same shelf.
They really shouldn't go on the same shelf.
You do not, they really.
One is kind of a seasonal seasonal humor, a lot, all ages book.
Yeah, all ages.
And the other is a non seasonal horror satire
that is not for all ages,
unless your kids are totally twisted.
What do you, Kormack McCarty?
You know, shit.
Yeah, baby Kormack.
Yeah, these are messed up low, dude.
Maybe you're buying presents for Kormack
for the age seven.
He'll like me.
I agree.
No, no, no.
But Kevin, thank you so much for joining us today. My pleasure. I'm glad I could watch. I'm glad I could have an excuse to watch the monsters the second time.
Oh, lucky boy.
Before we get into it, I do want to ask, like, what?
Why did you watch the monsters?
First of all, but also, I'm going to ask.
Well, we're going to ask that question.
Because I've got monsters in it.
But I wanted to ask all of you what your history with the monsters
is if anything, cool.
That's a good question.
I was gonna ask Sam question.
That's a good question.
I mean, I'm happy to go first.
I'm always happy to go first.
As a kid, I never really liked the monsters.
I was in my mind for some reason.
There had to be a rivalry between the Adams family show and the monsters show.
I would watch both of them at Nick at night because I was not old enough to watch them when they originally aired, but I'd watch them at Nick at night and
I found the Adams family show so much funnier. And I was also a little insulted at the idea
that the Munsters, Monsters, the Universal Monsters were being treated so cavalierly. Now I'm
not quite as much of an extremist about that. Because the kid I was like, they're supposed
to be scary. They're not silly. They should be scary.
Yeah, Stewart. Yeah. I mean, as a kid,
I think I feel like I caught reruns on Nick at night
and I loved it.
Like I love the monsters.
Not for any particular,
anything about the characters,
I think I just loved seeing monsters doing stuff.
I feel like I probably talked about this on air before,
but I remember as a kid,
I read this series of books,
what I cannot remember the name, but it was a series of books of like little kid monsters that
are like going to school and shit, and I loved it.
Like give me that stuff.
And the monsters, unlike the Abins family, actually look like universal monsters.
I loved it.
That's true.
I think one of the reasons I liked the Abins family was they seemed a little creepier
to me because they were not a thing that I could easily pigeonhole.
It was like, I couldn't quite put a finger on why Gomez and Mortician Wednesday seemed
weird or creepy.
But with the monsters, it was like, yeah, it's a Frankenstein.
But wait a minute, Frankenstein plus a Dracula equals a wolf man.
What kind of genetics is this?
Like calling Dr. Mendel what's going on here?
Yeah, I'll afford Kevin the honor of going last, but I just, I'd never really watched
the honor of getting to the last.
Yeah.
What he's in.
Yeah.
No, I mean, I like, yeah, when I was growing up, the monsters was in syndication a lot.
I would happen upon it.
I would always think like, oh, I'm going to like this because it's got monsters in it.
And I did like Fred Gwynn, you know, he's great. But yeah, Mike doesn't Vinnie's
Fred Gwynn.
Yeah, but I in general, even as a child, I was like, hmm, a bunch of monsters in suburbia.
This seems like a pretty thin premise. Like, like, how are you going to extend this? Because
it was all just like, oh, a clash, like a clash between these two things fish out of water and
It wasn't really for me. I wanted to be funnier, but Kevin. What do you love me?
I do have little kid Dan watching going. I don't think it has legs. Yeah, Kevin. What about you?
Yeah, same same thing Latchkey kid grew up watching a ton of TV could not watch watch the monsters no doubt
watching a ton of TV, could not watch the monsters, no doubt, could not tell you a plot or a detail from the monsters for the life of me.
Yeah, even though I watched it, it just didn't make an impression beyond its premise.
So I don't have any particular fondness for it.
And today, I lump it in with stuff like speed racer
where I get that there are boomers and people
who have a affinity and a stanza for it
and it just, it means nothing to me,
but I'm aware of it.
It means nothing.
Yeah, it's what, I feel like there's a memory sink,
there are certain things I remember so well
from when I was a kid that I watched.
And there are other things that have just disappeared. It's like I know I watched a ton of he-man
I remember none of the plots I barely remember the character. I remember watching my parents
getting this huge fight this one time. Yeah that kind I mean that kind of stuff I remember very well.
It's burned into my brain more than the monsters. Do I remember exactly what I was looking at when
I was 10 years old and on a vacation in California, that family and I realized my parents would get divorced someday based
on their behavior?
Yes.
I remember that very clearly.
And that had a bigger impact than the monster.
The movie about monsters living in suburbia.
Somehow that had a bigger impact on the TV show, the monsters.
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
But the monsters.
That's because I assumed of the mustard.
Sir, the mustard?
I said it right.
I said, like you said, I just know you love mustard. And so I thought you'd time out the mustard. Sir, the mustard. I said it right. I was just I said, like you said, I just
know you love mustard. And so I thought you'd tell me the mustard is the show about a family
of condiments that live in suburbia. And the white and regular people are not on hot
dogs. The dad. Now this has legs. Yeah, the dad is golden mustard. Yeah. Yeah. And then
they've got crazy cousin spicy mustard, the mustard mustard. That's what they call their cast list. Yeah, yeah
Fridge Cushion Dijon mustard anyway
No, I like Rob Zombie more mustard jokes, Dan. Tell us more mustards. You know, I'm like us Rob Zombie clearly
loved the monsters
Was nutty about the monsters which is odd though because this movie that he made about the monsters was nutty about the monsters, which is odd though because this movie that he
made about the monsters only introduces the premise of the monsters about half an hour before
it's over.
It's a movie.
So Rob Zombie, this was a real passion project.
He's been trying to do this for years.
He's been trying to make a monster's movie, which all like the closest thing compared to
his Terry Williams desire to make
a Don Quayote movie and being thwarted at every step of the way, like, this is similar success
at the end of the road.
I never, it's still, I still have not seen that Don Quayote movie and never, it's so crazy
to me that for years, I was hoping for its release and I watched a documentary about how it
would never get made.
And then when the movie finally got made and was available for free on Toobie, I think
I was like, I'll get around to it.
Yeah.
Okay.
By that time, our fondness for Terry Gilliam had tanked.
I think.
Yeah, it dissipated so much.
But it was like, this is more fun as a movie that would never get made.
But he wanted this for years and it is strange that it's essentially a prequel for the
monsters, which is a weird-
Like a franchise setup.
Yes.
As a whole to spin off, I guess a new show or a new series of monster movies, but, but it's
like, it feels like a premise that doesn't really need much of a explain.
I will say that like while this whole movie is fairly lead in and it's pacing, I find
the last part where there are actual fish out of water, the
least interesting of it. So maybe Rob's only two was right about his own, like the version
of the monsters that he was going to make. I mean, there's a real, there's a real kind of
cartoony kind of P. W's playhouse visual flare. Yeah, to it. I mean, the, I mean, the bad side
of that is it's a movie that is shot as if it was a Fox live action set. Any morning show
from the 90s, like it looks, you know, it does it. that is it's a movie that is shot as if it was a Fox live action Saturday morning show from the 90s.
Like it looks, you know, it does it.
It's a lot of bright neon colors and it's overlit and things like that.
But, but it like it has a look to it.
And then they get to the suburbs and suddenly it's kind of dull and it doesn't look that great
and, and for some reason, they decided to take Cassandra Peterson and slather her with
which make up for almost all of her scenes, which is bunkers.
Well, I would you do that?
But let's let's I mean, we've laid enough groundwork. Let's get into this movie.
Did you feel like we need to explain the premise of the monsters for any Gen Z kids that are listening? It's a bunch of monsters. They live in like a normal like suburb.
Augie. That's a TV show. They began in Transylvania.
No, I, the premise of the monsters.
I thought that was what Ellie was talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's just get to the side.
I mean, there was a, there was a normal cousin or something
in the, that's not this film.
She's beautiful.
Well, I don't like the, we used to word normal,
but yeah, there was, there was a non-monster.
And that was it, yeah.
Okay.
Anyway, I believe they call there on the original series, I believe they call through
the white sheep of the family, because that was the kind of jokes the original sitcom
would use all the time.
Like, this is a familiar cliche, we've flipped it, because we're monsters.
Yes.
Yeah, it would be like, that's the way the corpse crumbles, you know, it's like, it was,
I think, I think maybe that was part of the difference with Adam's family, there was
a little bit of that, but there was also like just this, they were, they're
super enthusiasm for everything about the world that Gomez Morticia had.
And like Wednesday had her own bit and they, and you know, Bester is a horrible nightmare
of a man, just like a cackling, you know, bizarre creature.
And the monsters it would be like, hmm, like, are you doing okay and spelling
class?
Oh, geez, we don't cast any spells in it.
Well, I'll talk to the teacher about it.
Like, that's the kind of joke that we do.
Anyway, so the movie begins during an indeterminate time period.
We're in Transylvania.
At the beginning of the movie, I thought, okay, we're in the past, but because of the lanterns
they were using, and then later on,
it seems like we're in maybe the 50s or 60s
where the monsters were set due to the TV sets
they're using, but then at one point,
Herman Munster does a Clint Eastwood
and dirty Harry impression that really spun me out in terms of like
dinner.
We're just in the old together.
I think this, so let's, so we're going to put together what I call a fatal flaw list.
And the first fatal flaw, Munster's movie, Where in History Do You Take Place?
This is a major issue that's to be dealt with.
Dan, I think they just live in kind of like cartoon time.
Yeah, they live in a cartoon in Transylvania.
But it is disorienting that like, yeah, that he is, that the scientist is like using lanterns
on a horse and carriage. Yes. And then suddenly there, and then suddenly Herman Munster is
a rock and roll star. It's like, what is this list of many? Let's go on around here.
What is this? Greaser's palace? Come on. I need to know the time this is. But we see a couple of grave robbers. It's a real, a real, uh, Dr. Frankenstein and his assistant, uh, situation.
Um, and later on, I took me a surprising amount of time to recognize that the assistant is played by, uh,
Jorge Garcia from lost, yeah, from lost.
Hurley. Yeah.
Who's pretty funny in this?
I got to.
Hey, he's got one of the better performances.
Right off the bat, I'm going to say that I think that the performances are not the problem
with this movie.
I think no, no, no.
Everyone's doing fine and they're delivering them at the tone that they need to for the
material and things like that.
You know, like this is everyone's kind of doing kind of kind, borsht belty type delivery and stuff, which is,
I guess the way you got to go.
I would describe it as elevated.
Yeah.
But I think even, even, even with that in mind,
I think, I think.
So you'd call this elevated heart.
I'm a little bit stressed.
H-24 is the monster.
I think even with the elevated performances,
there's a lot of freedom being granted to people
who are not being measured against a 1960s sitcom cast,
but like you know what grandpa talks like and sounds like,
you have an expectation for Lily, for Herman.
When you introduce new characters,
they're free to interpret the character however they want.
Yeah.
And yeah, with varying degrees of success.
I mean, I like the guy who was performing
as the mad scientist doctor too.
But I've hardly,
recently seen in barbarian as a guy
with some kind of crazy ideas.
That's right.
I forgot he's also in Burrito.
Yeah.
But I'm a big fan of any villain character
who's like that kind of Captain Hook type,
whoa, over here.
A big fan of melodramatic, slightly effeminate villains.
I find them to be the most fun.
Or there's a scene where Jorge Garcia is trying to commiserate with Herman Munster, and
he's like trying to, he's bad talking Lily Munster or, you know, Lily.
And he gets some new information.
He's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, blah, blah, blah, what, what, what,
what? He was such a perfect take. I was like, I haven't seen this in real life forever.
But this is the most cartoony thing I've ever seen. Yeah. I think I remember the moment
you're talking about it is very fun. Anyway, so these grave robbers are trying to break
into a coffin and a what I've described in my notes is a fancy zombie.
Here's the noise.
And this was a confusing way to open the movie.
They make a big deal out of this zombie character
who's not really a character in the movie.
Yeah, he turns to the camera.
We get the title, The Monsters.
In case you're confused, you thought you clicked on,
I don't know, some other neck.
Swing, wingles, wild, a Netflix or whatever. You thought this was love at I don't know, some other neck, swed gags, wild, a Netflix star, whatever.
You thought this was love at first love is blind. Yeah. And you saw the zombie
and I'm like, Oh, I hope love is blind.
And the zombie comes into the crypt starts talking to them. They seem really
unconcerned by the fact that the zombie is chatting with them. They just kill
him right off and take a picture with the corpse. And then
cart the body of the famous zombie. Yeah. He's a famous zombie. He's the piano playing
zombie, right? They want his, yeah, he's a famous piano. And so they take his hands, because
they're making like a serpent or something. Yeah, yeah, something.
The idea that the talent, the talent exists in the body part and not in the brain much as in the Peter
Laurie film that love yeah in which the hands of a murderous knife thrower give you murderous knife
or like in the Jeff Fahey movie body parts where he gets a serial killer's arm that makes it
material. Yes exactly and I have to assume in the movie Edward Pena Sands I've never actually seen
it but I have to assume something along the same lines.
Anyway, we cut to a castle.
We meet our first main cast member of the Munster's grandpa, Munster, who rises up from his
coffin.
Who's last name is not Munster, right?
It's Herman Munster, but when his daughter marries Herman, I guess for some plus, do you
say he takes that? He takes the name. He's a little bit of a customer. Yeah, guess, for some plus, do you say he takes that?
Transolidium custom.
Yeah, all vanishing custom.
Uh, he does one of those spooky, like rising up out of the coffee and coffin Dracula, uh,
things, does a little pose and throws us back out.
Uh, so we're introduced then to his assistant, Igor played by Sylvester McCoy, one of the
many doctors from Dr. Who Stewart knows him as rat agast from I do know him as rat agast.
Thank you, Dan.
And Dan is he related to you?
No, I doubt that I know of.
I mean, I haven't done the legwork.
Fine, that's 23 and me.
Yeah.
But he cracks us back and grandpa is very interested in his daughter, Lily's
love life. She's lonely. So she sets him up with Orlock, who looks like Orlock from Nosperatu,
a good. I mean, all of the, as Elliot says, it's a little overlit maybe for what it is a little flat,
but like the production design is really pretty. Like that's the reason to watch this movie.
Like everything looks like an old horror movie
where part of the charm is like it looks a little cardboardy
and there's a bunch of beautiful like colored lights
thrown up on everything.
It's good.
I also I try my myself.
It's physical.
It's a physical set.
And while watching this I try my myself.
This is essentially probably for children. Like it's not really because's a physical set. And while watching this, I try to remind myself, this is essentially probably for children.
It's not really because the content is not for children, but a monster's movie should
be a thing you can watch with children, so it shouldn't be too dark and too scary.
So it's okay for it to be like, it's wrong for me to come to a monster's movie and be
like, it's not genuinely scary.
It's not nightmare fuel.
It feels like an old 1930 you know, 1930s monster movie
Put through the filter of a 1990s made for cable Canadian kids show. Yeah. Yeah
I think that was the original pitch. Yeah
They pull that
And and and Lily is played by Sherry Moon zombie rob Rob Zombie's wife. And again, Rob Zombie has
proofs of the world. He is a number one wife guy and that he, she is fucking great in this. Like,
she is good in most of the things he has put her in. But she is, I think she is genuinely like
very charming and cute. And she pitches it at the exact like, you might not agree with the choice
to picture at that level, but she nails it. She does what she's supposed to be on. Perfect. I mean, I think if she was given funny jokes to say.
Yes. It would be she'd knock them out of the park. Yeah, I think the issue, the issue is.
It's not her delivery. Her delivery is great. The issue with me, the movie is just that it's like,
as you'll find out as you, as you listen to Morvdan Summary, is that it's kind of less a movie.
And it's almost like we did that biopic, that non-Solendion biopic, where it was
just like not a story so much as just dramatizing every moment in Solendion's life. And this is kind
of like that, but for the monsters. So it's like, it's like a weird thing. We're like, we got to be
true to the story. We can't just make up a fictional tale. But these are not real people. Like,
they're not, you might as well come with for the plot. There is no thrust. There's no narrative
thrust afterwards Audrey asked me,
what was the conflict in that film?
I'm like, I don't know.
None.
There was no.
They deal.
They're really.
I mean, Dan, you texted us while you were watching, I guess.
You texted a comment that somebody,
maybe you were going to save this to later.
A comment you had read online where someone described it as like a porn
monster's parody without the sex scenes.
And that is what it feels like.
Like it feels like you're watching the USA up all night version of the XXX not the monsters
porn parody.
Yeah, exactly.
And but anyway, they have a they have a date, Orlock and Lily at the Bonyard Cafe in
Egyptian themed.
Yep.
Cafe.
And Orlock is is not a great date.
He makes bad jokes.
He's the dancer.
He's really, yeah, he's a great dancer.
He's got, I mean, he's on the cutting edge of your own.
Well, that comes in a second.
No, get ahead of it.
He's eating gross.
He's showing pictures of rats, which for some reason,
she's put off by even though she just said
that she likes rats.
I don't know.
Well, I think she was just saying that to be polite.
I think he's a bore is the point.
The disconnect is not the rats.
It's the guy going on and on and not asking a lot of questions.
And we cannot end.
The subtext, of course, is that as we all know, vampires are built on anti-Semitic tropes.
Lily's family is obviously much more of a kind of assimilated German Jewish
vampire family, whereas Oralok is more of a right off the boat Eastern European Jewish
vampire family. So there's a lot of subjects here in terms of the way different waves of Jewish
immigration. Again, as seen through anti-Semitic tropes of Jews being vampires interacted with each
other in the United States in the early parts of the 20th century. So there's a lot going on here.
I really have to tip my hat to Rob Zombie for doing his research about the way that happened.
And later on when they run into Cassandra Peterson who's dressed up like a traditional comic
witch, that was also an anti-Semitic trope.
Yes, yes.
But she kind of welcomes them to the new world, America.
So I think it continues along that theme.
Exactly.
So what we're saying is that Rob Zombie has created a real exploration
of the anti-Semitic tropes of humor of a horror. Sorry, anti-Semitic tropes of horror.
There are no anti-Semitic tropes in humor. Juiz and Vendigomer. There's the anti-Semitic
tropes of horror through this through this sitcom. It's very subversive. And so Rob Zombie
have to take the top of my head off to you because that's the kind of thing you would do
in a horror movie. Speaking of racist tropes, we're now introduced to a luster, cousin luster, the the werewolf
character who is the one.
Oh boy, this is, this is the big mist.
This is the one black character of the movie who is like, I would not say a disillute gambler.
I would say it's part of it.
Wildly over the top, but it does play into a bunch of negative.
It's fairly over the top. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
He's the black sheep of the family. He's the gambler. He's like, yeah, it's, it's not great.
And he's doing like a Frankenstein zombie walk toward a Romani fortune teller named Zoya who is drawn him in because he owes her money
for some, I don't know, she's loaned him, she's like a loan shark in this world, I guess.
Yes, she's a loan shark. She threads the chop off his head. And he calls, I guess his dad, I guess
he's actually his grandpa's, monster son, it's, I don't know, whatever.
Yeah, yeah, he's grandpa monster son,
he's Lily's brother.
He calls grandpa and grandpa's sitting around watching
Abt Castello meet one of the universal monsters on TV.
I think it's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Ah, thank you.
And to see this is why we have you on,
this is the thing you can speak to.
But he wants to sell grandpa on the idea
of selling the castled a zoya
and make it into a casino.
Grandpa hangs up almost immediately.
Meanwhile, back at the date or lock.
Now here's where the dance comes into
that we were talking about.
He takes around the corner and he's like,
close your eyes, he's like, don't look.
And he's like, okay, what's going to go on?
And he stands under some neon,
which is apparently a big asset buff
the door to his house that says,
if this tombs are rocking, don't come a knockin'
and he does a little dance to some techno music.
And you gotta imagine that's an expensive neon sign to get.
That's a lot of letters.
A lot of letters.
Yeah.
Maybe you took a class at like the learning annex to do neon.
Oh, really?
Glass blowing and neon ignition.
Yeah.
Hey, you can do it.
One of my business partners is doing it right now.
But this is not, there's a Rodic dance.
It's not the effects that he wants.
She leaves date over back at the castle.
Don't worry, we'll see him later.
Yeah, in case you were worried
that was the end of Count Orlox,
an appearance in this,
don't worry, he gets to show up
a bunch more times for no reason.
Back at the castle, they're watching TV,
there's a news flash that breaks in saying
that comedian, Sheki Von Rathbone
was killed by an angry audience,
which comes right on the heels that his brother,
Shelly van Rathbone,
bone also died.
Shelly was a super genius unlike Shecky.
They're both interred at the same place,
but only the newscaster says only an idiot
would confuse them.
So of course we cut to an idiot,
we cut to an idiot, we cut to
the grave robbers and the assistant goes in to get the smart one. But of course comes out with the dumb one, classic Frankenstein bit. Classic Frankenstein brain switch, you gotta do it because
otherwise, what where's the plot? You don't have one. And this is what sets the entire plot in motion.
This is clockwork mechanism that we call the monsters 2022.
While also answering the question for anybody
who's ever watched the monster sitcom,
how did Herman get to be that way?
Yeah, we gotta know.
Finally, finally, finally, we get it.
There's a number of, I mean, I think it didn't really
dawn on me how this was, how
over the tops on the explainers were until it explained how they got their pet later
on in the movie.
We'll get to that where I was like, still didn't need it.
Still, still kind of like the origin for this.
It was, I mean, it wasn't at the level of last name.
I don't have one.
I'm traveling alone.
So low.
That's your last name now, which again is like just again, it's the movie solo looking at the
Jewish experience so many immigrants who came to the United States.
Last names changed to Ellis Island, not always by the people working at Ellis Island,
but by the immigrants themselves.
Yeah.
And we have names that the people at Ellis Island would understand.
So you know, I guess what I'm saying is guys subtext.
Oh wow.
Yeah.
Well, Lily sits in a room. Give me a movie. Give me a movie. I'll tell you the subtext and how it talks Well, Lily sits in a room. Give it, give me a movie. Give me a movie.
I'll tell you the subtext and how it talks about the Jewish experience in America. I don't know.
I'm looking at grimmies across the room. So that's racist that you would even bring that up as a
possibility. Okay. I just literally what's in front of me. I don't know. Just give me another one
then. Give me another one. Give me another one. Grimmies too. Damage too. I don't get even worse,
even worse. That's about that's about control the media even
I'm not right. I'm just looking at my room again incredible
about the one cheese. I don't know.
There's three.
Munchies. That's a great one. Thank you.
So it's for again outsiders misunderstood all that kind of stuff. Yeah.
Like this game was rigged. Uh, Lily.
The city in a room much, much, much.
I mean, I know this is munchies too, but if you get enough of my fellow Jewish
people together, we will turn into a ball that can roll over somebody and leave just a
skeleton by it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I want to do.
I just critters to. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Do you mean that is also critters? Or do you mean it is critters to the new?
Literally, it's both, it's critters to number two, the movie, but also it is also critters.
It is critters to two.
Yeah.
Critters, it's critters to two seven where Jack A. Harry lives in a brownstone with a bunch
of critter, with a bunch of crits.
Thank you.
Critters to two meets the hooded thing.
Anyway, Lily, well, critters 22 was Joseph Heller's groundbreaking novel about, about
military bureaucracy and how, and remember the character of critter, critter, Critter's 22 was Joseph Heller's groundbreaking novel about military bureaucracy and how
and remember the character of Critter Critter Critter Critter who was given the rank of Critter
because his name was Critter Critter Critter.
Guys, I'm trying to tell you about the monsters.
Oh, sorry, sorry, bring us back to Monster Town.
We got a lot of plot to do.
Yeah, there is.
Lily is, I love that I watched the movie twice and now I get it recounted.
Let me tell you the monster. Let me tell you.
Let me tell you.
Let me tell you.
The most.
Yeah.
Lily is lonely.
She's sitting in a room, combing her hair, thinking about how much she wants love.
Will it come to her?
Well, meanwhile, the grave robbers, the scientists are making, are putting, have put together
the creature.
They're ready to bring Herman to life.
And the assistant is like,
when he's asked what we should call him, he's like,
oh, I know a guy who's named Herman,
who was a great guy, we should name him Herman,
and then for the last name,
Kazimia Sandwich, he says,
monster, done, got it.
Uh huh.
Which was funny because make fun of this joke all you want.
Dan basically made the same joke in our group chat.
Yeah, but I didn't know how to do the poster.
I didn't think like people should.
Well, you put it in a group chat, which is like the movies of the future.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, our group chats, I am spinning part of the time deliberately trying to irritate.
So, and succeeding and succeeding your master. Yeah. Well, we don't know the artists intent in Rob Zombie. I think he could be creating jokes that along, you know, the Dan McCoy method
of trying to irritate and provoke the audience. Like an anti-coffman kind of. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
and then you can't even crossman kind of. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Well, the, the zap herman with electricity for a very long time, it takes a while.
And I mean, they are bringing someone back from the dead.
It's not easy, but for a movie, I don't need a bunch of cuts of like electricity going.
You're saying it should have, you should have had like a clock wipe and it should have
said like three hours later, and they would said, and just one more Joel's and then they
would use a clock wipe in this movie.
They use slime wipes all the time.
He's not moving, but his heart is making a clanking noise,
which I thought was a weird choice because they're like,
oh, it didn't work.
And like, well, but there's a heartbeat,
so why even do that anyway?
But he finally wakes up.
There's pink lightning cartoon lightning bolts
in the back. There's a lot of these like transitions like Stuart said, there's hearts behind
Lily and Herman when they see each other stuff like that. I like those. I like that.
They're really calling attention to the artifice of the film. Yeah. Back at Grandpa's,
the Artifice of the Film. Yeah.
Back at Grandpa's, watching Good Morning, Transylvania with Ezra Mosher.
And we should point out that the broadcasters we see on TV are played by the principal
cast.
Yes.
Yes.
That that Shari Moon Zombie is the newscaster who first reports on the death of the genius
and then also Daniel Robock, who plays grandpa,
is doing his second of three roles in the film
as the host of Good Morning Transpainting.
And Daniel Robock has like 250 credits on IMTV,
but I mostly remember him for playing Jay Leno
in the late shift, the major TV film about Leno and Letterman's life.
He's great in that.
Anyway, so, Dr. Henry Wolfgang, which is the name of the scientist, I've missed it up until
this point, but now I have it in my notes.
Okay, so Alex just cut that clip and put that, I can search that every time, Dan, since
the science is less, I'm less claiming that's a fault of mine and more that this is I think the first time
the movie makes a point of identifying him.
Okay, cool, yeah.
I'm not so sure about that.
It's possible.
It's on it.
He's on.
There's only one way to find out, Kevin, we need to watch this movie for the third time.
Guys, look, I swear.
It was last time.
Anything else you need me to look at?
Tell me now.
I'm not gonna watch it for the fifth time. No, I think that's it. anything else you need me to look up, tell me now, I'm not going to watch you this time.
No, I think that's it.
I think that's it.
Okay, good.
We need it.
There's a thing that we need you to look up.
Well, he's on Good Morning Transylvania, I guess, to promote his Frankenstein's monster.
You just promote being a genius.
Yeah.
It's not a product.
But, you know, and we all miss those days when someone would go on the tonight show,
just to talk to Johnny, just about something fun they were doing.
They're not to be promoting a movie or something.
Yeah, like they're just trying to like bring an animal on stage.
Yeah, yeah, like a live animal that is terrified of being on stage under the lights, but they
bring them out anyway and wrap them around Johnny.
Cool.
Lily sees Herman on TV and it's love at first sight.
I thought there was a pretty funny bit where they have Herman sit down to the piano
because he expects that he can play the piano and Herman just smells.
I laughed at that.
Yeah, that was good.
That was a good joke.
And after the show, the scientists...
They really paid off the entire scene with a fancy zombie earlier in the movie with that joke.
The scientist has disappointed, appointed obviously about what happened, because, you know, this
is I forgot her, but it also tells a bunch of corny jokes because he was a stand up.
Or spell jokes, yeah.
This is, I should mention this is one of those times when this should be a movie you can
watch with kids.
I don't know Kevin, maybe watch it with your kids, but they refused.
I invited them in their own.
All right.
No thanks. But they refused. I invited them in their own. No thanks.
But when the scientist comes out to brag about his monster, they have to bleep his swearing,
but you still know what he's saying.
And he's like, talking about how they can kiss his ass and they can eat shit.
And it was like, this seems like a weird moment for this monster's movie.
Like it seems like it, like two, two, the tone is off.
Yeah.
Not like a bunch of minions come out and bear their ass and like, shit all over people
and pull out their fucking dicks and squirt com all over everything.
Usually in the minions movies,
they don't, all other dicks and squirt com all over everything.
It's like, piles of fucking minion gizz,
all over every time.
Yeah, look, two shrews, two shrews,
Pierna, yeah.
I could find you some clips of minions doing that
if I looked around.
Not in the official, I don't think this can in.
That's unauthorized, yeah.
Yeah, Dan belongs to a number of right-wing Facebook groups
that repurposed them for memes.
I like the idea.
Dan is also swimming in the kind of Tumblr meme
verse where everything he looks at is like Dr.
Phyllis and Eminem getting married to Shrek
and Aminion, jizzing on stuff.
And at this point, he thinks of that as mainstream culture.
So seeing the monster, he's like, what is this thing?
This is weird.
Yeah.
Where's pregnant sonnet?
This is a job like some else.
Kevin, what were you gonna say?
Oh, I don't know.
I was gonna say something about after minion stuff,
you won't eat a banana after seeing something.
Those are stupid. No, just that No, it's a little out of character for Elliott pointed out that the doctor is one of those
whew, some of the feminine Vincent Price, evil villain professors who then during his
broadcasting moment is using course vulgar language seemed a little bit out of character.
For a character we barely know.
Yes, if they've they've established very little about him but what they have established
clashes with this. Well, maybe the whole the whole thing is he's all about public perception and
maybe the whole like a feat like evil scientist thing is all an act like that. He's actually not the
high like the cultured man of science that he wants people to think he is. He's actually not the high, like the cultured man of science that he wants people to think he is.
He's actually like a gutter piece of gutter born trash, you know?
Much like much like how a lot of Hollywood's first generation had to, you know, had to
come from, came from very humble backgrounds, very incredibly working class, or poverty
strike and stock, and had to remake themselves as kind of moguls of this new dream factor.
You're right.
Once again, Stuart, you put your, on how the monster's courtesy of Rob Zombie is such
an exploration of the way that the way that Jewish Americans have had to navigate the cross
currents of American history and culture.
So yeah, I have to give it, I guess, two, two dreadles up.
I guess that's my, I guess that's my rating move.
And I feel like Stuart, you might know, what is Rob Zombie's actual last name?
I don't know.
Although I've been.
Cool dude.
He knows a lot about Rob Zombie.
Look, you know, I'm looking up right now.
His name is a filmmaker.
I'm not mad at right now.
His, his name is Robert Cummings.
So that all goes back to Minions.
Okay.
So I don't like that at all.
Return to the monsters. I don't know whether there's a time jump here or what?
Because it seems all of a sudden that Herman has become a rock star, like a
establish star because it makes really goes down out on the town to Zambia,
go, go. We're Herman. It's a pretty small club. I don't know if he's that,
if he's as huge as stars, he thinks. It's a pretty small club. He doesn't know if he's that if he's as huge a star as he thinks. But there's no indication of any time having lapsed and now he's headlining
this club. But he's playing. Yeah, it all goes back to like like like learning the space
between the panels, you know, like how much time passes between that stuff. Like Scott McCleod
would really be able to explain this time jump. Yeah, Dan, sounds like someone's got to go
back to his understanding comments.
Yeah.
I think that the filmmaker, Rob Zombie, has not really made it clear that there's a time.
It's a poor, it's a poor craftsman who blames his tools, Dan.
He's the craftsman.
I'm the viewer.
I think it's the, it's not his podcast.
The, you know, those transitional wipes could be signifying the passage of time,
or it could just be, ooh, look, it's an axe. It's a back to get you to the next.
Oh, it's kind of like how on that show, bad sisters, they use a different transition
to represent when they shift before JP dies or after JP dies.
I guess it's how like a home of a career transition, unlike these.
So this is more like the scene transitions on home improvement when they got increasingly after JP does. I guess that's how like a real- I'm a real- I'm a real- I'm a real- I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real-
I'm a real- I'm a real- I'm a real- I'm a real- I'm a real- I'm a real- The only thing that's tailored to one is Tim Taylor, the one going, oh, in real time. Or is that an accompaniment of the videographic?
Or do they have a caveman off camera
just doing that into a microphone?
But Dan, you're right, it's disorienting.
It's a disorienting movie.
And the movie kind of,
since there's no real plot,
it kind of picks up things and puts them down again.
And it reshotted off-kilter angles
so it leaves you feeling almost like you're a wash
in a sea of strangeness.
Regardless of the passage of time, this is my favorite sequence in the movie when it's
Herman Wunster and the punk rods doing comedy music performance to a very small audience,
but we know they have pressed a vinyl.
And we are under the impression that this has reached some kind of an audience to the point
that Lily shows up as a potential groupie for her.
Yeah, and you know, it's a small audience, but you know, every one of those monsters went out
and started a novelty group. Yeah. I've been trying to get to, for quite some time, a small,
funky town, a small detail that delighted me, which is when Lily enters on B.A. Go Go, the bouncer is an old clanky 50 style robot.
Who pulled back the later goes on to officiate their wedding.
I wanted to ask if that, if we're supposed to believe that is the same clunky
1950s robot.
I did.
It's certainly the same costume.
Yeah, it's definitely.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, maybe they were mass produced robots, so it could be different robots, but the same design.
Very possible.
Yeah.
Also, downtown Transylvania has a lot of neon signs, and Audrey pointed out that this would
be in a normal type of this movie, like a good opportunity for like puns or jokes on the
signs, but they just say like massage parlour or whatever.
They don't do anything with it.
Yeah.
But anyway, yeah, that's what this movie needs
more of his puns. Zulia owns this club for some reason. We don't, not really important.
It's just a way to have her also in the scene and plot more with Lester, the Wolfman, who's,
you tell some she has two weeks to get the castle backstage, Herman, and I'm just going to call him
Hurley from Los.
Yeah.
Are in shiny rock star clothes, which is part of why I was like, okay, I guess this is
later because they've already hit the point and success where they made a big, they're
really peacocking.
They've gotten their shiny clothes like this.
Well, one of the things I kind of like about this is it does feel like a commitment
to the bit that an old sitcom might make where they're like, we're going to be rock stars
next scene, already have all their rock star clothes. Yeah. And, and, and her early is already
like pushing Herman's career and. Yes. For all I know. And again, we don't, we, we established earlier in the podcast that we don't remember any storylines for the Munster's career. Yes. For all I know, and again, we established earlier in the podcast that we don't remember any story
lines for the Monster Show.
This could very well be playing off of an episode of The Monsters where he becomes a rock
star.
We'll give him out the early 60s.
The costume is absolutely from Monster Go Home where he races, raceguard, and where
is some of that get up with the goggles.
Oh, okay.
You'll talk about the weather.
Okay. And to research for the show,
I watched two episodes of the Monsters last night.
I was like, if I'm gonna watch it,
I'm finally gonna watch the episode
with the standell's 60s garage band,
who rather than stay at a hotel,
the standell's decide, we need to stay at a mansion,
like that spooky mansion in town.
But there is a rock and roll band episode of The Monsters that does not involve
Herman being in the band, but after the band performs, they invite Herman up to recite some
beat poetry, which is the closest we get, I think in the original series, or at least in the first
season of Herman becoming a frontman for a rock group. I love that, I love that the show
exists during that time period when there was not really much of an understanding of beatniks and rockers being different. It was just like.
It was all under one umbrella. Weird youth culture. I guess they do spoken word poetry and also
they play those electric guitars. And now your bag is going to be able to draw both of them,
miscarriages. It's something very Bob Hope pretending to be a beetle.
There's something very Bob Hope pretending to be a beetle. Well, curiously, that Standell's play a cover of I Want to Hold Your Hand.
So even extends even further.
But Dan, would you please get us back to the story recap?
Well, what happens now is that Lester points Lily back to Herman and he also reacts to her with a bunch of cartoon hearts.
Love it first sight.
She invites you.
It's a very, it's a very cute scene of them each trying to flirting with each other and
he's trying to play it cool and he'll close the door and then you'll hear him off behind
the door like saying, oh, goody, oh, geez, oh gosh.
And I got to say we haven't mentioned this.
So the actor who plays Herman Munster is,
it's like Jeff Daniel Phillips or something.
I don't have it in front of me.
But like, again, I think-
Jeff Daniel Phillips, he got it right.
I think there's another one where
you get a hundred.
Not only casting points for this episode.
Yeah, I'm amazing.
So he, not only does he look a lot like Fred Gwyn,
but his, like he pitches his performance at the right
library.
He has a big performance, his face is super emotive.
I think he does a great job.
I think he captures with his giant suit on.
He captures some of like the Fred Gwyn vibe without doing a direct impression.
And yeah, I think he does a terrific job.
I think that our three primaries
are all very good in the movie.
Yeah, but yeah, and the little scene
where he keeps ducking back out of sight
to freak out while the camera stays out
with Sherry Moon, Zombie who can hear everything
is one of the parts in the movie
where it comes closest to working.
There's some stuff in here.
Super cute.
Yeah.
That's, that's sweet and fun.
But um, so,
if she invites him over for dinner, uh, we get a little bit where they're
each worried about like, you know, he's worried he has to be like a cool
entertainment rock star guy and she's worried that she's not going to be
cool enough for him.
Like that's the sort of thing that another movie would set up,
something it doesn't hear.
No, it doesn't.
It doesn't have to be there.
I'm relieved. I hate that kind of thing, but.
Well, and also Lily's dad clearly doesn't like him,
and that sets up, I think, two other scenes,
and then that's in.
Yeah. Like, at a certain point,
there's any sort of rivalry between the two of them is dropped also.
Yes.
There's also, during when Herman goes over for dinner, he's outside after having butted heads
with, we keep calling him grandpa.
He's not a grandpa yet.
He's the count.
That's true.
For simplicity, we're going to keep calling him grandpa.
Herman butts heads with grandpa.
He's a pretty right though.
He is just a dad.
Thanks for giving us honest.
I'm going to just, you just first all just getting a bunch of Pinocchio's in Washington
post. I'm just, you just first all just getting a bunch of Pinocchio's in the wash and then post.
I really appreciate that.
But Herman says to her, I swear I'm going to devote my life to winning over grandpa.
And that, you know, that a lot of attention is given to this moment.
And it's in the next scene, it's completely evident.
We give up on that quest.
Yeah.
Like you say, it doesn't, there's no payoff to that. And also, you're right, he's not called, he. It's completely abandoned. We give up on that quest. Yeah.
Like you say, there's no payoff to that.
And also, you're right.
He's not called, he shouldn't be called grandpa yet.
And I know the, and the character he's known as grandpa in the show, Al Lewis, who played
him legally ahead, tried to have his name on the ballot for the mayor of New York as grandpa
Al Lewis.
That's what he would call himself.
No, it's funny when everyone knows the character's grandpa, but he's not that
yet.
I mean, I don't, I, I, I hate to potentially dog pile on a bad character, but there's
a chance that his son Lester might have an illegitimate child, and that's why they call
him grandpa.
I mean, or a legitimate child.
Or a legitimate child.
I don't know enough about the last three thousand grandpa.
I think we work on grandpa in the movie.
They called it the count.
Oh, I thought you said that Herman called a grandpa.
No, I was misspeaking.
Oh, I'm paraphrasing.
You know what guys?
I think I think I need to watch the movie again.
Okay.
Yeah, I think you need to check this.
I think it's back.
Just fired up on your phone.
Throw this up.
Everyone can pause.
I will come back in an hour and 49 minutes.
And we'll drop it in.
We're back. Yeah.
Yeah. They never call him. They never call him.
Okay.
Then I, then I own apology to everyone in behind the making of the monsters 2022. I was
misled. I, I'm sorry. And I hope we can put this behind us and we can continue to have
our original relationship. You as a subject of mockery for me on a podcast
well after I tolerated watching you when I could have been diving into this trove of
a check films that I just found online that I'm very excited about. I guess since LA it's a
apologizing I should pull up that article about what to do when your podcast coos gets canceled.
Of all the things I was going to get canceled for, wasn't any of it. Wasn't expecting it to be this one.
It wasn't any of it.
It was a subparagraph D.
It wasn't any of the Jewish jokes earlier,
but it was me getting mad at the movie
about something it hadn't done.
All of it is to the contrary.
We were only halfway through the monster.
It's so loud.
Oh wow.
Wow.
Let's say a little more.
But here's where the plot really kicks in.
Yeah, well, as mentioned,
grandpa's unimpressed by Herman.
There's a lot of cartoon, umpob background music underlining everything.
And there's a romantic stroll between a Herman and Lily, which leads directly
into them singing, I got you, babe, a montage of falling in love with stuff.
And then they're dressed as Sonny and Cher eventually.
Yeah.
Lily gets a tattoo of Herman's face.
They have a drink with Trude Strauss, rats and bats, sort of.
And he gets a tattoo in cries, which was very funny.
He got her name tattooed and then she got like a super hyper realistic portrait of him
and she's fine.
And were you guys also like me waiting for the moment when their version of I got you
babe would turn into like a monster parody of I got you babe and not just like a punk
rock beat Nick. Yes. But it's just the song. Yeah. It's just a straightforward song. Right.
There's no I kept waiting for them to be like they say our bats can't pay the rent before
you know it. The blood has all been set. But they don't do that. At this point, I had given up on the monsters, trying to be funny, like fulfilling their
premise of doing monster versions of this.
Yeah. But speaking of how grandpa's dislike of Herman goes nowhere, he's like the future
grandpa. Yeah. Again, we're just going to call him grandpa. We don't need to, I don't
know why this came in issue.
Everyone knows.
As Kevin McLare, he should be called the count less name on note.
We don't know what he's counting.
No, we do know his last name because they say his last name
at the wedding ceremony.
Oh, they do.
What was it?
Can you watch the movie again?
Oh, Bob.
If everybody could just pause for an hour and 49 minutes,
I will be back with this information. could just pause for an hour and 49 minutes.
I will be back with this information.
So guys, I'm back.
I don't know why I didn't skip ahead to Netflix
and just go right ahead.
I watched the entire movie again.
And unfortunately, I went to the bathroom
during the wedding scene so I didn't find out.. I'm pretty sure they do say her way.
They say.
Okay.
So because on Wikipedia, the original character is called Count Sam Dracula, which I think
is funny this first name Sam.
There's a lot of back and forth.
I'm not going to do it in direct actual movie order because it's easier to just thematically
lump some things because as we pointed out, grandpa's dislike of Herman
doesn't really go much of anywhere
because he's like, oh, we gotta get rid of him.
I'm gonna count with this husband spell.
I'm gonna conjure a perfect husband for Lily instead
and he does a spell wrong
and he gets this dancing cowboy chimp man
and then that's just dropped
like that. Like it's really one scene of that. It's a throw it's a throw I've seen. It's
a real but because the movie is so so all over the place, you don't know if this is like,
okay, is this a character that's coming back? Is this setting up something? Oh, no, it's not.
Just when I was looking at monsters episodes last last night, I didn't end up watching
this one, but there's an episode where Grandpa in the sitcom, the same's Grandpa.
I think it takes a frog to create a suitor for cousin Marilyn because they feel like
she's so serious, plain and hideous.
She's never going to find a man.
So they create Grandpa casts a spell to create a suitor for her.
So I wonder if that is, if that sequence in the movie
that goes nowhere is a little,
is a little something for the fans, a little fan service.
Yeah, a little easter egg.
Yeah.
Or they would call it a, they called a beast or egg.
Because it's creepy monsters.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. And the, and the, the misapprehension in that scene, the reason he ends up with a monkey
man is because he thinks he has Tarzan's hair, but he actually has Cheetah's hair.
Cheetah, of course, being the chimp from Tarzan.
And I guarantee you, if I'd watched that with my kids, they would have no idea what that
joke means.
They wouldn't understand the reference.
They would think you're about a Cheetah, the animal.
I'm gonna stop you right there.
Most times when there's jokes and references in a movie, kids don't care.
If it's, if it's a line is delivered like a joke,
they will think it's fun.
That's great.
But I want to say I did understand the reference.
And I was like, okay.
Yeah, that was my reaction.
So you didn't have to go to the emergency room
because you're a side to split.
They just put my stuffing back in and sew me up.
You're not in, you're not in behavioral therapy. They just put my stuffing back in and sew me up.
You're not in behavioral therapy
to get yourself from slapping,
just slapping your knees all the time.
Because the joke is so funny, yeah.
So meanwhile, the doctor has returned
from Lepper Island,
where he was on vacation, apparently.
And I was like, did I miss the setup for this?
I don't know.
But he's got leprosy now.
That doesn't really figure it anything.
Meanwhile, Herman and Lily have gotten engaged on a beach, which causes grandpa to faint. We cut directly to a coffin, but of course, because it's a vampire, he didn't die out
of shock.
He's just going to the wedding.
It's a wedding coffin.
Lester shows up to the wedding,
introduces himself to Herman. Makes sense. He's the brother of the bride. Why not invite him?
He's like, Hey, I pointed Lily your way, which is really like, he really literally just said,
Oh, he's down, he's down the hall. So he didn't really do much in their love connection, but this
is enough for Herman to sign a contract. He's giving it.
And he uses some other manipulative techniques.
I mean, Herman is also not the brightest bulls.
Yes.
Well meaning very sweet, not the smartest.
Here's, I'm not.
And what a fucking body on this guy, right?
Oh, yeah, it's shaped like an exclamation point.
Yeah, sure.
I'm not a property rights lawyer.
Yeah.
But it seems like if an old man for the purposes of
ease, let's call him grandpa, owns a castle and his daughter marries a man.
And they're not even really married yet because they haven't had the ceremony.
That if he signs the contract, it does not transfer ownership of the castle.
Like that the castle is not just a general family property.
That robes on these.
That any member of the family can sign.
The monsters does not reflect real estate law as it exists in real life.
Well, certainly American real estate.
That's, you know, that's, you're right. This is happening in Transylvania between monsters.
It's possible the laws are different and that you can marry into a family that's giving
you, I guess, equal say over what happens to the property of the parents of that family.
But yeah, I'm just saying the monster is interesting.
It's interesting that put it in the goofs.
It's interesting that Herman's signature holds more weight than Lester, who's actually
blood relative.
That's a good point.
I don't know why Lester would, maybe there's a scene that was cut where the count gives
Herman power of attorney.
I do it like for some reason. Yeah, just, yeah, let's, okay, let's go on.
So I don't want to hold you.
Yeah, sorry, Dan, I know we're not here to have fun.
We're here to get to the plot of the monsters as efficiency as well.
Yeah, great.
Look, I was the one who, I was recording the monsters minute.
That people listen for the, people listen for the bits, but again, we're, but again, there's
an un there's an unserved audience out there that just wants that as a test on the
month, where's movie tomorrow? And does not have time to watch it.
Some minutes into this podcast and they were still got a lot of ways to go. That's all.
We can skip huge chunks and it won't hurt. Yes. I bet Dan, you could skip their entire
honeymoon in Paris. And I don't think anyone would. I bet Dan, you could skip their entire honeymoon in Paris.
And I don't think anyone would be like, wait, but what happened?
But that's where they find the monsters.
They find spot their pet, yeah.
Sure.
You know, when we went out the third,
Daniel Robuck character is just asking for a new cafe.
Just a little bit of air to get through it.
I'm not saying, don't have fun guys.
I'm saying, let's be judicious with it. You're
right. It's the monster's not the funsters. Let's take this part. This podcast under educational.
All right. I just want to place the special request to the editor that when Dan says we need
a little bit of air that you play a loud fart sound effect. Yeah. I thought you were going
allowed farce sound effect. Yeah, yeah, I thought you were going to play.
Then can you look?
Can you look?
When I asked you.
Yeah, sexy boy.
Yeah, yeah.
And then Alex could you look through the entire archives for any time Dan says, ah, I
needed to do that.
And then put it in after the farthest out of act.
That would be great.
Okay.
So anyway, the two of them get married with the, I have in my notes with the robot question
Mark Bouncer is the efficient.
The doctor's happy that he's married off his, his, his built son saying he's grandpa's
problem now, which I don't, Herman seems like a sweetheart.
I don't know why everyone's I thought that was, I thought that was kind of funny.
But this and the ceremony goes off with the only hitch being
that the robot briefly bursts into flames, right?
And they see Lester while they're driving away
and Lillie's like, I hope you didn't get
a business scheme with him.
I'd hate to think I'd married a blockhead
and Herman's like, ooh!
And so we cut to Zoya and Lester.
Zoya celebrates her, you know, grift working out and there's some Montana.
And we find out the reason is because she is grandpa's or the man who will someday be known
as grandpa.
The man who would be grandpa.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
That she is his ex-wife and that she is vindictive and this was all a scheme to get back to
you. Well, also, if she's actually, it seems like again, she has more of a legal claim to part
of the castle than than her, herman.
And herman.
Yeah.
His daughters fiance.
Yeah.
Anyway, they have a, they have their honeymoon in Paris.
There's a montage.
They walk into a cafe where everyone's terrified of them.
And when the mime has a heart attack, he and dies.
He mimes having his heart pulled out,
but right before he falls dead,
and I thought that was pretty funny.
They explored the catacombs where her men wrestles
a rubber sort of gargled dragon,
and that's their pet now.
And in the show, you would just,
in the old show, you'd just see his tail.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, still good, liked it all.
Yeah, I mean, having not really
watched the show, I'm like, why is this in a movie? What is this? Why is this here? Yeah.
Um hmm. But anyway, I guess you could say the monster's movie doesn't really stand
alone on its own as a, as a piece of storytelling. Yeah. You kind of need a little bit of a grounding
in the, in the television show. And the important thing of this pair of scenes that establishes that normal people find
the monsters hideous, possibly terrifying to the point of dying.
Yes.
And the monsters find regular non-transylvanians to be horrifying to look at as well.
Yes.
The present they've never, this is the first time the movie leaves Transylvania.
And yeah, and yeah, we learn that it's a real clash of cultures
between monsters and let's just call them nonsters. So now on we'll refer to non monsters
as nonsters. And also in our daily life. Yes, ideally. Yeah. It's the only way it'll
stick. Yeah. Grandpa learned that he's losing the castle. He goes to Paris to tell them the news to
get mad at Herman. They decide to lawyer. Hotel room is huge. They've got an amazing hotel.
Yeah. Yeah. It's great. The lawyer who is in jail in German for some reason says that they're
screwed. Meanwhile, Herman is watching a TV show called Zombo.
And it's just like a monster running around
with like Zombo, Zombo, Zombo.
I'm not really sure what the show is,
but he's like watching adult swim or something.
At first, I assumed it was kind of like a zackery
kind of like gulardi type take off,
but then I'm not sure, because he's not.
I'm pretty sure that's something it's a nod
to a single episode of the original series.
It's got it.
Probably.
It's so funny.
I wasn't even that stuff.
Diehard Monster fans are like,
what the hell is up with that guy?
Like that was for you.
That was for you, monster fans.
My God.
It's like, it's a problem, yeah.
I was in one episode.
Get out of the house every now and then.
Yeah.
It just shows how important frame of reference is and like I should own up to it.
It's like if this was a Simpsons movie or a news radio movie and they did a joke about
one single episode, I'd be like, ha ha, that's really entire.
Remember it?
It's just that I don't know.
The monsters did not penetrate my consciousness the same way.
So Rob's on me.
It's like, it's like my wife is watching the Gilded Age with me and they make a reference to up and coming
architects, Stanford White. And she's like, oh my God, that's so funny up and coming.
And I'm like, what? Who shot who now? But, um, hermancy Zamba.
Now, if the Munsters movie had a joke about of gumbengar tech Stanford White Dan would be
like, what time is this taking place?
They have TV's, but Stanford White is still a young man.
Uh, Zombo has a line about where he claims to be the most handsome man in Hollywood, which
is like clearly a joke in the context of the show, but herman's like, hey guys, it's seven.
At best, I'm a 10. We should go to Hollywood. It's pretty funny. California. And finally,
we have the premise of the monsters. And this is like the movie and how far is this into
the movie? Like an hour and 50 minutes long. I would say that this happens about 30 minutes
from the end. And a normal film, I think, would have flipped the proportions of things,
like all of this up until now, we're taking 30 minutes and
then the rest of the movie. Again, Rob Zombie's interests, I do find the stuff before they
actually are fish out of water, funnier and more interesting and more colorful than the
rest of the movie, but it's a weird.
And I'm sure he was, I think you're probably right, that he was probably more interested
in that stuff too.
We can live in this weird Transylvania where there's all sorts of crazy characters
and gross masks and creepy buildings with neon lights.
And he's putting off as long as possible when they have to actually get to Mockingbird
Lane and it's just houses.
But and I think also a typical movie of the monsters would have started with Herman's voice
over saying, forget everything you saw to you about Herman monster.
I mean, they show up at the house.
They show the house and you go, er, seems like a place we wouldn't really live.
You're probably wondering how we got there.
Well, let's go back a little bit.
But I mean, I can't stress enough how happy I am that this movie is not like a dark serious
take on the fucking.
Yeah. How happy I am that this movie is not like a dark serious take on the fucking.
Yeah, I was 13, 13 mockingbird lane on NBC a couple of years ago with.
Oh, right.
And that was a Brian from.
Fuller by me.
Sure, right?
He was.
I forgot they did do a dark take on the monsters, which I mean, as much as I, it's one of
those things where this is me being a hypocrite again, when I was a kid, I was like, my, I don't
want my monster silly.
I want them scary. When they announced that, I was like, my, I don't want my monsters silly. I want them scary.
When they announced that, I was like, what if you're going to do the monsters?
Why make them scary?
Like then they're just the original characters.
Yeah.
They're going to be the monsters do them silly at least.
So like, I feel like you do have to give Rob Zombie credit for being like, what are the
monsters?
The monsters are goofy.
So that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to make a silly thing as opposed to time to take, time to take this thing for
kids and make it totally terrifying and gross, you know.
Yeah, where I don't say fuck up on it.
Yeah.
But it's the same, but he did was they took old episodes of the monsters and all they did
was they dubbed it.
It's weird.
Okay, let's get back to the, they call a real estate woman played by Elvira herself, Cassandra
Peterson to facilitate their move.
She says pardon me, she's got a house for them.
They get on the plane.
This late in the movie, we do not need to see them on the plane to America.
We can just go to America, but we have a whole bit where they're bumped up to first class
because the flight
attendant was so scared of them and then like jumps off the plane and parachutes out because
of that. And herring gets wasted on curly temples.
Air Transylvania, presumably, caters to Transylvanians, and this is a village that is filled with goblins and witches and monsters.
So you would think air transylvania would not be surprised when somebody who looked like
herman his wife and his father-in-law get on the plane.
Yeah.
Yes.
That even even the flight attendants might be monsters themselves that you would think.
But no, apparently, apparently air Transylvania only deals with,
I guess, tech workers who have moved to Transylvania because they can work from anywhere on the rents
are low. And so it shuttles them back and forth between Transylvania and San Francisco. And they're
not used to the locals, you know, mainly cargo and freight, but they just recently started doing
passengers. That's the best ex-lovation. This is their first passenger flight ever.
I didn't mention the plot point that Cassandra Peterson is like,
hey, apologies. You're arriving on Halloween. I'm going to look a little weird
when you show up. This is all just to lay the moment at which the monsters
see that normal humans are surrounding them and not transylvania and still monsters, but
You know they go to the real estate office. She's dressed as a witch
There's an animated montage of them driving to Mockingbird Heights
Where kids are out this was trick-or-treating and this and this was this seems to it was like wait
Is was this meant to be like the opening credit sequence at one point like dance version of the movie where there's not that much time in Transylvania and the rest of it is them getting to know their neighborhood.
Like there's otherwise it's very strange for the movie just to turn to animation for them
driving around Hollywood.
And I wonder if it was like a solution to the budget not allowing them to drive around
actual Hollywood in costume or if it was like, because it feels like suddenly the credit
sequence is about to start and we're 20 minutes from the end.
But I think it's also the, I mean, I think it's like super stylized.
Yes.
Or like, I think that's the point.
It does fit in with that kind of like googie type of type of thing.
Yeah, it's throwing some fucking like surf rock in the background.
It's exactly what they wanted.
And this is around the time too, where I started wondering again, what is it about kind
of like, goth and rockabilly stuff that seems to dovetail so much
in people's minds, like that if it's like,
I love gross old things, I love monsters,
and I love Satan, but you know what else
it love is early rock and roll, very early rock and roll.
Yeah.
I think it's the center of that Vendigram side burns.
Good.
Yeah, what did they have in the 19th century and in the 1950s?
You're right, yeah.
Oh, that makes a lot of sense, yeah.
I mean, I get what you're saying that, you know, like 20 minutes before the end to, like,
introduce a new element is a little weird, but Rob Zombie, like, in the trivia for this,
like, said, like, oh, I saw the characters.
I thought, you know, I wanted to place them in this cartoon world.
Like, that's why everything looks so stylized
in a particular way.
That makes sense.
I mean, it could also be like when they asked
where's the Wells for the Cis and Kane,
why that parrot screeches right before the last scenes.
And he's like, it's a long movie.
Wake up the audience, start to fall asleep.
Like, this could be a little bit of that.
Like, give the audience a little shot in the arm.
Cause you've been watching monsters bumbling around without a plot for over an hour now.
But so they go there even if even if you're on your second or third viewing, you're falling
asleep.
And it still takes you by surprise.
They, you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the
Santa Peterson wants to sell them, you know, a normal house, but there's a broken downhouse
like the monsters home from, like, it looks like this home from the series.
Like literally, yeah, it's literally, they're like, we want that one.
And there's, they're like, don't try and, you know, finagulous into buying this shitty
house over here.
And she's like, sold, no, take the house.
And then cut to them inside the house a little despondent because they're now broke presumably from buying
this broken down house, even though they're happy.
A broke down house, if you will, right before. So, but
uh, her mind's like, I, but it feels like a loaded moment when
they're sitting on the couch and grandpa says, I'm the count
says, now what? Yeah. And I feel like that's where they're
at in the screenplay. Like,play like what do we do now?
Yeah, this is this is the voice of the screenwriter speaking through his character luckily
It's a race to the end from this point
A series of solutions present themselves
Because they hear screaming from outside they discovered there's a Halloween rave taking place
What looks like in their front yard, they party with their neighbors for a while.
And they're in like a cul-de-sac.
Yeah.
The monsters win the costume contest.
But not the movie cul-de-sac.
Is that a movie?
It is a Roman Plansky movie, but that's not this one.
Weird.
Why do you bring that up on this podcast?
It's also right now.
Now what would one bring that up?
But close to the ending, the most.
Yeah, that's a good point.
When the costume, I think I think I
think I said I think it is something to do with these.
It's a frantic free association that my brain just goes into
and I can't really control.
Oh, that's too bad.
Have you, you, I mean, you can talk to a professional
about that, maybe.
I probably should.
But that might hurt the podcast.
Well, I want to leave on the professional
about that sort of thing again, free association. I don to be on the professional. Don't kill the goal. That's the thing. Again, free association.
I don't know why I'm free sourcing particularly to movies directed by pedophile.
But still why the monsters win the costume contest to get a giant novelty check for $1,500
which would be big money whenever this movie is taking place.
And and and is this is that before or after the singing morticians?
Well, grandpa, one of the wrong things.
And grandpa's like my idiot, son-a-law needs a job
and then the singing morticians from the local funeral
parlor offer him work right away.
So I guess that problems fix.
Next morning, breakfast, Sherman's going to go to work.
He goes out the door.
He's horrified by how pretty a normal everything looks and how friendly all the neighbors are.
There's like, they're all there.
They're all hideous monsters in this coldest egg.
And grandpa and Lily are also shocked, but Lily scolds them for judging these horrific
monsters for their clean cut appearance. And then Wolfman X Machina, Leicester shows up
in their door. Everyone's mad at him, but he says, look, I made a killing in Vegas for
the money I got from the castle. I'm here to give you your cut, give us herman a check
to cut it in. We don't know how much money it is, but like, they're all rich.
It's a, it's a, it's a, it must be a lie. Because suddenly they say they're rich.
They laugh for more than $1500.
A really long time as a shaky slow-mo care circles them.
I kind of wish they'd say,
why is this check so small?
The Americans had given us a check last night.
It was enormous.
We assumed that is the standard issue
of American currency bank.
Unfortunately, and this the amount of money here is much more on that one.
So proportionally, it should be a enormous check.
Yeah.
And with all their problem solved, we cut to black and white.
We finally get the Munster's theme as the three main characters,
you know, take a curtain call exiting the house and we get some animated credits.
And that's it.
That's the Munster's. That's the monster.
That's Rob zombies. The resters.
Well, the other Rob zombies like the movie has to take them right up to the very moment
that the pilot for the monster starts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the Rogue One of movies.
The Rogue One of movies. But Rogue One is a movie, I'll tell you. So wait, did I say something wrong?
Could be.
No, I'm probably right.
No, it's the children or.
That doesn't.
Dan, great job summarizing.
That was a tough one because there's no.
Because it's a little powerful.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
We should probably go right into those final judgments.
What's your final judgment?
Whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie kind of like, I'm going to kick it off by saying, I think this
is a bad, bad movie.
Like the major problem with it is that Rob Zombie, while a talented filmmaker in some ways
appears to have no feeling for comedy, like the pacing is letting the jokes in the screenplay that he co-wrote are bad
even by like monster movie standards.
But it's a bad, bad movie that I'd almost kind of recommend
if you have like an interest in this kind of thing
checking a certain amount of that out,
maybe like 45 minutes, get a taste of.
I just wanna, Danny, I don't want to interrupt.
I just, I just want to flag one thing.
The, the four other co-writers that are listed on the film
are the people who developed and created the characters, I think.
Oh.
So Rob Zombie was the sole right in this grand play.
So let's not, let's not let Rob Zombie off easy
as though a co-writer
was ruining his script. As if Rob had all these great ideas, but then somebody else
was just like, I'll just sneak in and change the jokes. Bruce, Bruce, believe me.
Just smothered. Smothered his genius. That was not when I was imagining. I was imagining
that Rob Zombie maybe brought in someone who knew how to write a screenplay to help him
along. I mean, there's probably an uncredited copywriter who has a lot to account for here.
I don't know. I like, I wish that all I can think of now is that they probably had a punch
up room for this script at some point. I would have loved to have been at a monster's
punch up room. Hollywood, if you're doing punch up on some dumb thing, why not invite me
and Dan and Stu Kevin, you can come to.
Yeah.
Let's invite us in.
We can come over some some silly jokes for your reboot of, I don't know, like what's
it old TV at Thunderbird?
Yeah.
I like your Captain Dave Man 2022.
I imagine being in this writer's room and them saying, Kevin, for the last time, we
cannot say monster baited.
This is a a kids movie.
Yeah, I mean just how about monster Bation? Is that any better?
Monster Bation, not an active verb to close it off and pass the ball. I would just say, yeah,
it's an endurance test of a movie. I wouldn't recommend actually watching it but it has a certain charm.
I will say that. Yeah, I agree that it's not a movie I liked. I feel like I tolerated it more than
I enjoyed it and I would also call it a bad movie but at the same time it feels fairly harmless.
I feel like we had a lot of fun with the monsters today. Yeah. But it's if you're going to watch,
if someone's going to make a put their heart and soul into making a monster's prequel reboot, then
you're, they're already operating under a pretty heavy burden right from the beginning.
And I can't, you know, it's not, I don't find it particularly funny, but everyone's trying
their hardest and their parts that look really nice.
And I just imagine what could have
happened. It could have been a much worse or more misspegotten movie as opposed to a movie
that is just kind of like is looking for a reason to be and can't quite find it.
Guys, this is officially a movie I kind of like. I think I think all the performances are
pitched at the right level. Sure, the jokes aren't very good, but again, the jokes on the fucking monster show aren't
good.
And he's being more accurate and faithful to the style of the original.
And it looks interesting.
It's clearly made with love.
I mean, granted, yeah, there's no plot really.
There's no arc.
There's no plot really. There's no arc. There's no real conflict.
It's like a weird hang of a movie.
And yeah, of course, it doesn't all work.
Am I saying it's the best movie ever?
No, but this is a movie I kind of liked.
I wasn't mad at it.
Yeah.
I like the quote on the DVD box now is going to be dot, dot, dot, the best movie ever, dot,
dot, dot, dot.
Still willing to in the flop as. And you know what? If, hey, as long as I'm on the box, now is going to be dot, dot, dot, the best movie ever, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, it's going to be Wellington, the flop as. And you know what?
If, hey, as long as I'm on the box, I don't care.
Kevin, what about you?
How do you?
I, you asked at the top of the show, we're finally going to pay off the question.
Why did Kevin watch the monsters in the first place?
Much like with the, the final chapter in the Halloween series, I saw so much split debate about whether the monsters
was the worst movie ever made or actually really fun.
I had to know for myself.
I had to find out for myself.
I watched the monsters.
I wanted to meet this movie on its own terms.
I didn't want the nation to be divided
because we're so divided as a nation.
I have so many ways.
I wanted to bring us together
by understanding the monsters.
I feel like I want to meet the movie on its own terms
and I don't know what those terms are.
I don't feel like Rob Zombie has given us instruction
about how to engage with this or what this is.
I like Stuart, there are parts of it
that I actually laughed out loud at.
And I enjoyed the piano joke we mentioned.
We ruined it because we really didn't give it a proper setup.
But it has its moments.
It's kind of monocardless.
No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not pointing fingers.
But I do admire, yeah, Rob Zombie as a wife guy
who keeps coming up with these films.
A few years ago, if you ever have the opportunity
to go to Blob Fest in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania,
it's the movie theater that the Blob attacks
in the 1958 film The Blob, they show the Blob.
I think the first or second weekend every July,
and they have a big three day festival
with lots of rockabilly music, Elliot,
because they know that that speaks to all generations.
Yep, bring your your brutal skirt.
When I was there, one summer,
they had just announced that Rob Zombie
was gonna remake the blob,
and everyone at Blob Fest was pissed.
Everyone at Blob Fest was worried
that Rob Zombie was gonna ruin the blob,
and then that movie never happened for better or worse,
but the citizens of Phoenix, Pennsylvania, are much, much relieved it never happened.
Instead, he made the monsters, and I think this might have been a better,
you know, better land and ground for what he could have done next
after remaking those Halloween movies.
So, I kind of almost liked it. I can see why people do like it.
I can also see why people can't stand it and turn it off after a few minutes. Yeah.
I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm ill of it. If I didn't have to watch it for the podcast, I probably never
would have watched it. Or if I had started watching it, I probably would have not finished it. But
Rob's not be such a, he's like such a curious character as a film director, because I feel
like there's a, like I want him to develop in the way that he could develop, and he's
like not doing it.
But I know that, I don't know if he's still doing it, he was going to do that movie based
on the book, Raised Eyebrows, about the end of the last, you know, years or so of Groucho
Marx's life.
And I'm going to have to watching this movie.
I'm like, I'm not sure if Rob Zombie is,
I never knew if he was gonna be a right good fit for that,
but I'm like, I'm not sure if this movie makes me
less or more interested in what he would turn that into.
Well, you would, you would said Elliot
on the being the Ricardo's episode
that Aaron Sorkin is a guy who's fascinated
with the machinations of comedy
with no understanding of comedy.
Yeah. And I think there's a similar thing that Rob Zombie, when it comes to likeinations of comedy, with no understanding of comedy. And I think there's a similar thing
that Rob Zombie, when it comes to like,
capital C comedy, we're making a comedy,
it's off the mark.
But I think the funniest thing Rob Zombie ever did
is in the Devil's Rejects,
where they bring in the movie expert
to talk to the sheriff,
and he's played by a character actor.
I think that's one of the members.
I've got so how I remember.
I've got so much I can tell you about the films of Groucho.
And it's this hilarious scene of the police being pissed off at this movie nerd in the 1970s.
It's so funny.
It's great.
Basically I wish Rob Zombie had made an entire film of Marty Walker, the film critic from
the Devil's Rejects.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You never know, maybe for the, for the, for the Captain Spalding verse, maybe that'll
be because clearly he's a guy who likes his interested in comedy and likes comedy.
But yeah, I think I don't know if he's, if he's got the probably needs a partner or
a co-writer.
Yeah. Again, Rob, I know you're listening to this
to your probably huge flop fan. Just at least bring me into the
concept. Bring your fucking Dracula around and elevate
hop in and he has no fucking make a movie. I mean I know I said all that stuff about rockabilly music.
You know like I like it fine like it's just not I just I always find it curious that that's the
music that that people who want to be transgressive are drawn to because it's kind of like a grandpa's version of rock and roll but that's fine you know that's okay
I'm sure you've noticed how giant corporations are controlling more and more about what we consume
whether it's our food our news or even the we enjoy. The greatest generation is a show that stands up to Big Star Trek, and says no.
We can laugh about costumes that fit too tightly in the groin area.
We can make a Star Trek podcast that's basically only about that!
The greatest generation, the show for free and independent thinkers about Star Trek.
And the groins of different costumes.
Reviewing every episode in order.
So subscribe to the greatest generation on MaximumFun.org.
You'll be doing your part in telling the Star Trek industrial complex
that they can't control your mind!
Hi, it's Kevin from MaxFunHQ. This year for Giving Tuesday, we're inviting you to a super fun, tarot event.
It's got some of your favorite Max Fun host and it's for a great cause.
Join the Precimotes, John Moe, Carrie Poppy of Ono, Ross and Carrie, Stuart Wellington from the Flop House,
Tom Lump from Let's Learn Everything, and Helen Weatherford, up just the zoo of us.
Your suggested $10 donation supports National Casa GAL and their work advocating for kids in foster care.
That's this Giving Tuesday,
November 29th at 5 p.m. Pacific 8 p.m. Eastern.
Check out MaximumFun.org slash events
for more information and tickets to the Taros show
with John Moe.
Hey, you know what?
This podcast has sponsors.
Don't try and claim that we don't.
We, we, uh, in addition to the, the support of fine listeners who have joined the maximum
fun network, uh, this episode is.
We are thankful for every day. And thank you very much for your support, uh, particularly,
uh, because all three of us, our day jobs are, let's say, you know, constantly under threat because we
chose unstable careers. I mean, Stuart seemed like the most stable until the pandemic happened.
So yeah, let's say, let's say our careers are erratic. Yeah, very erratic. But we're also sponsored in part by loomie labs.
Erotic?
I mean, that's kind of the joke I was going for, but erotic.
But if you are erratically erotic, then please see a sex surface and a real one, not one
of the ones that gets involved in a web of deceit and betrayal.
Yeah, it looks like James Spader or smells like James Spader, probably a James Spader.
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I mean, you could be naked while you have them, who knows?
I mean, if you ordered them online, right?
So you could be naked while you order them while you try,
how you use them, you know, use responsibly
and be naked responsibly.
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There's all sorts of things you could do naked.
Just do it in the comfort of your own home.
Once you leave the house, that's when you get into
some thorny legal areas.
We're still in the ad problem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dan, what was it you were saying to me in store it
and blindly need us to keep things untracked?
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Guys, is there anything you want to plug over in this zone?
Kevin, we'll plug your book again at the end,
but if you want to say anything about it now, feel free.
I was going to try to compare it
or link it to the monsters in some way
as something that's for kids of all ages, but no.
I'm not gonna, I don't want it associated
with Rob Zombie's monsters in any way.
It is, I'm gonna give a little spoiler
for the flop-house spans right here.
I'm gonna hold the picture.
Okay, wow, you heard of your first folks
or the deceased.
But still by the book.
It's still by the book.
You definitely definitely want to get the book.
You know what, I'll take a screenshot of the Zoom.
So well, actually this visual stuff is not wasted.
To the messy my room is.
So the best of my knowledge,
this is the first children's picture book
with an appearance by,
oh, okay, I got the Boba team.
The Boba team shows up.
Yeah, the Pride Monster himself.
When we submitted the book to the publishers,
Joe Dator and I, the illustrator, just assumed,
at some point, we're gonna get an email
about how you can't put the Boba Dook
into a children's picture book,
and that email never came.
And Joe had a substitute trying,
ready to go, of Santa Claus with Scooby Doo instead.
And we never got notified.
So let's hear from parody law.
Yeah, hopefully Floppa Superfan Jennifer Kent
isn't listening to this and says.
Yeah, I hope not.
But I hope everyone else is listening to it.
So suddenly the fear of the fear
dawned into Kevin's eyes.
Don't worry, Jennifer can't doesn't know who he is.
That was one of those moments where a steward is trying to actualize his fantasy.
That's what my therapist has had me work out.
It's saying what I want out loud.
We got to tell the universe the universe doesn't know how to do it.
Yeah.
Well, so that book, how can our audience find it?
How can they get it?
Wherever books are sold, which is probably online.
And what's the title of the books, right?
The book, thank you, is Santa doesn't need your help
by Kevin Mar, illustrated by Joe Deeter.
It's Santa doesn't need your help.
And it was originally conceived as a short film
shown at a Kevin Geek's out show last December,
framed in the style of a reading rainbow video
with this rudimentary animation
that was our justification for low rent animation.
And then Joe, the illustrator, is like, I'm going to show this to my agent, and he's going
to see if we can sell this book.
We thought it was going to be an adult humor book, which it is.
It absolutely is.
Or grown-up book, not adult in a fritz, the cat kind of way.
It is a funny, funny satirical take on the holidays
for grownups, but kids will like it too. So if you need a gift for a child, a niece, an FU,
a son, a daughter, whoever, pick up Santa doesn't need your help. It hits all four quadrants,
just like the Munsters 2022, directing the rubs, aren't it? Yeah. Youive. I probably should have watched the
monsters scary little Christmas
because that's the monster's
Christmas movie from the 90s.
Yeah, why don't we pause the podcast?
Kevin, why don't you go pause guys?
Come on back.
All right, I'm back.
Ann Magnuson was great as Lili
monster.
I don't know about the rest of the
cast. Curiously, this film does
say that the the monsters Eddie lived in Transylvania before moving
to Los Angeles.
So apparently Rob Zombies playing a little fast and loose with the continuity as established
in the 1990s reboot.
The monsters scary little Christmas.
I have to assume that there's a big divide in the monster's fandom over what's canon
and what's not canon,, you know, definitely.
Do you guys have anything or shall I move on to letters?
I'd love to promote two things that I love to promote.
Always do you have kids?
Well, after you're done buying them, Santa doesn't need your help.
Why don't you subscribe to the Who Was Podcast presented by I Heart Radio, but it's available
on all podcast, podcast apps.
It's a podcast I co-host and it is a quiz show for kids
about historical figures.
It's very silly.
And I think your kids will probably like it.
And hey, maybe they'll even learn something.
Not for kids.
Don't show them this.
Maniac of New York is coming back.
That's right.
December 7th, the first issue of Maniac of New York,
volume three, don't call it a comeback.
The title is, yep, Kevin's holding up
Maniac of New York volume one.
Thank you.
For the listeners.
Listeners to hear the sound of a book being held up to a microphone. Many act of new
work. Don't call it a comeback. Number one, coming out the first.
I'm flipping it.
I'm flipping it.
In those pages.
Doing some ASMR here.
Yeah.
Anyway, it's coming out December 7th. Please pick up a copy for the latest installment in the maniac of New York saga.
Yeah, I got a quick plug.
Hey, you like podcasts.
Why don't you check out a podcast, the flood pass podcast of podcasts where we talk about
bad movies and make jokes.
Uh, wait a minute.
I think I got this confused about how we're doing a peach bit after dark. Okay, okay, I'm just
like, don't listen to the flowers. Wait, I mean, I mean, dude, don't, don't do this.
Move on to letters. Don't do what Johnny don't does.
We've got a special mailbag. It's all about Alene. The last movie we watched, some Frank, Frank Aphone listeners wrote in about our questions.
Oh, this one's from...
So Frank Aphone allows you to call anyone named Frank, right?
This one's from Christian Last Name with Held, who lives in Montreal.
And...
Beautiful city.
...Rite.
Hello, floppers.
I was delighted to see you covering that complete mess of a film, Eline. And I'm happy to provide at least some of the missing context as a resident of Quebec.
In terms of relevance, it's difficult to overstate how beloved Selene Dion is in Quebec.
Princess Diana, before she died, is actually not a bad comparison. She is less beloved in the rest
of Canada, but certainly considered an important and respected figure.
Like, you could make her an ambassador somewhere
and it would be a bit funny, but not very.
As this movie,
okay.
Unless this US ambassador to the Vatican,
which apparently is hilarious
when French Canadian people say it.
We didn't pick up the joke.
As this movie was actually made in France
and not Quebec, it thus trades on a lot of stereotypes
about French Canadians.
They speak with a silly accent.
They have too many babies.
They are controlled by the church.
They are tacky.
Remember the bit where Elaine and her sister
are cuing over an anguetis calendar?
That's in there to say, look at these ignorant hicks. Nevertheless,
this movie was a big hit here and did well in theaters. As a woman in her 40s living in Montreal,
Google has convinced that I am a Celine Dion superfan and will not stop recommending stories to me
about how mad the Dion's are about this film. One article quoted a Dion as saying it made them look like a bunch
of boujons, grunters or hicks, which is not wrong. I think Valeré Lamarciet stoked up the
controversy to get more publicity for her movie since I also saw a bunch of stories where
she was speculating about Celine's health and whether her family is controlling her and
stuff like that. I have a friend who are...
And how did Celine Dion's brother Dion Sanders feel about it?
Yeah, that's a good question.
Well, it's outside of the scope of this email.
You know, as again, you can't ask an email a question, have it answer you back, but we
can.
Email, email, I have a follow-up question, email.
Does it work like that?
It's not going to work. I have a friend who refers to Celine Dion's marriage
as a hashtag me-to-story with a happy ending.
I'm not sure what it's like in France,
but romances between men in their 50s
and women in their late teens, early 20s,
are generally considered creepy
and inappropriate here as well.
Can't chalk this one up to cultural differences.
What if the women in their late teens early 20s
are being played by a woman in their 50s?
So the age difference is almost unidentified.
Yeah, that's a good point.
It seems like it goes almost the other way at point.
If you have any more questions about Celine Dion
and her place in Kabaqwa culture, please ask.
I'll be happy to act as your official
Celine Dion correspondent.
Cordilemo, okay, you got the job.
Kristen.
Well, Kristen may have the job, but we also have something from Roxanne last name with
hell.
Oh, I spoke too soon.
You mean we have a letter from Roxanne?
That's a reference to it.
You don't have to wear that dress.
That's a reference to a Steve Martin movie. That's a reference to Zeus and Roxanne, the story of a dolphin and a dog who is in the
Martin.
Yeah, he played Zeus.
I think.
Oh, wow.
That's the dog.
I think so.
Dan, I know that Andre is a steal.
Not Tom Tiny Lester as Zeus.
Thanks for clarifying.
No. Because he was the enemy of Rip that played by Hulk Hogan. Tom Tiny Lester as Zeus. Thanks for clarifying.
He was the enemy of Rip that played by Hulk Hogan. Yeah, yeah. I remember in the Mad magazine parody of that movie, he was called Zeus
because they said he smelled like an animal. I don't remember anything about any plot of any
episode of the monsters. I briefly was like, oh, I need to reset that this is from Roxanne last day with hell. Then I remember that the whole digression was about Roxanne.
So it was about how she's named Roxanne.
Hi, as a long time listener from Quebec and a diehard saline fan,
we all have to be at birth.
I was so excited to see you're doing a lean.
I think the funniest thing for us about the movie is that it's obviously a
French person's from France perspective on Quebec culture. The Vatican bit is probably in there because they tend to make fun of how
we speak and they thought it was funny, hence why the movie was successful in France, but
not so much in Quebec. I perceived it as an obvious digger accent like that was the joke.
Composite names are popular here like Jean-Philippe Marc Olivier et cetera. But the siblings name really made me
calculate loud while watching this on the plane.
I've never heard of anyone named Jean-Pobin or Guy Claude.
Also, the town where the family is from
seems to look more like a colonial new bell France
instead of Quebec in the 20th century.
And finally, Aline has clearly played by someone
from France.
Her QC accent goes downhill real fast.
Anyway, all this is to say this is not representative
of French Canadian culture.
If they had shown the sex scene,
I'm assuming they would have had Aline and Guyclad
playing wooden spoons on each other's bodies.
Roxanne last name with Helvet, I assume that's a reference
that I also don't get to what
like Manana the spring.
I mean, my get, yeah, if they had, I'm surprised not there wasn't a scene where they were kind
of like flirtatiously eating poutine together, you know.
No, it is interesting to see how much of this movie is apparently just france being like,
look at these colonial picks.
Yeah.
I love also that that went completely over our heads.
Yeah.
And it's something as Americans, I feel like we always need to be reminded that other
countries can have relationships with each other that America is not a part of.
And whenever it's like Sweden and Swaziland are having a diplomatic row and I'm like, why
would they even know each other?
I don't understand.
Like, it's easy to forget the rest of the words.
Exactly.
So, but I'm loving having my eyes opened to all these nuances.
Yeah.
What else you got for his dance?
No, that's it.
Well, why would that be?
All right, so the journey of exploration is over.
Yeah, our culture changes.
So, unlike a normal Campbell quest, where it would be kind of like the first gatekeeper and
the second gatekeeper and the meeting with the goddess and eventually return home, this
was just kind of step outside and check the weather and then go back inside again.
Yeah, great.
Yeah, that's the hero's journey we were on.
Yeah.
Well, that's all I have the energy for.
That's the heroes, you know, sort of stroll around the floor.
The hero's ample.
Okay, well, let's move on to the final flop half segment. You've all grown to no one love recommendations, movies that
might be a better use of your time than the monsters.
I'm going to recommend I saw IGA.
It's a it's an Indian movie by the director of RRR. IGA is a not IGA, the 60s movie about a caveman.
This is E.E. G.A. There's no H at the end of this. It is the Telugu word for fly because this is a comedy action romance movie about a man who is killed by his romantic rival
and then comes back as a fly to take revenge to and to continue wooing his
former lost love as a fly and oh boy what fun movie. Like I do not get to see our theaters.
I still haven't seen it in general because I keep hoping that like I can make it to one of the
screenings that still pops up here in New York for the time of time. But if you're ever, if you
ever want a movie about a love story with a fly, a fly that by
the way also like I saw someone online make a very smart point that if this was an American
movie, they're like, okay, the guy comes back as a fly, we have to hear the fly's thoughts.
No, we don't hear the fly's thoughts.
The fly's a fly.
The fly, like it lives between like realistic CGI fly and cartoon fly, but it does what
a fly is, except for a fly who is also a human who understands human things. And like there's
a fly training montage. That's how I sold it to Audrey when I came home. I said three words,
fly training montage. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, you're just gonna, you're just gonna enjoy it.
Go ahead and see it. See you. That's my recommendation. It sounds great. I'm gonna recommend a movie I
watched on the plane out to LA. That's right. I'm recording on the road. Folks sit next to my
pal, LA, Kaelin here in sunny Los Angeles. Yesterday, I went to Universal Studios, went on the studio tour, and there
was a really great little section on Nope. It was awesome. But that's not what I'm here to
recommend. I'm here to recommend other stuff, specifically a movie, a movie called The
Square, directed by Ruben Osseland, who's currently got a movie in theaters right now called
Triangle of Sadness. The square is kind of a, well, it's long and it's kind of a skewering
of like the fine art world and also kind of like well-intentioned charity on the behalf
of shallow rich people. It follows a museum curator played by Clay Spang or Clay Spong, who was in the North
Men's House recently.
Bad sisters playing one of the biggest pieces of shit I've ever seen on television.
He's like so terrible.
Like within the, like, it's no spoiler that this character dies, but within like two minutes
of the first episode
you're like, this guy, this motherfucker needs to go.
And he said to me when you're talking about it, that's before he starts doing some really
wild shit.
Like, yes.
He calls his wife, Mami, once, and I'm like, I would chop his fucking head off.
But so he plays the lead in this, and he is also like a piece of shit in this, but there's
a little more depth, I guess.
He's less of a comic villain.
And it's great.
And even though it's kind of a bludgeon at times, I feel like it gives you enough stuff
to think about, but without exactly giving you a clear answer.
And it also has a very crazy scene where a character is a fine arts performer is doing
a, like a performance art piece where he is a imitating a chimpanzee and it goes disastrously
wrong.
It's intense, quite a movie.
So this square, check it out. I'm going to recommend a movie too. How about that?'s intense. Quite a movie. So this square, check it out.
I'm going to recommend a movie too. How about that? I'm also recommend a movie. So I'll
jump on this bandwagon. I'm going to recommend a movie from 1951. This was directed by Anthony
Mann and it's a movie called the Tall Target. Now, you know me, I love history. I love
Abraham Lincoln. I also love 50s crime thrillers. What if they could all be put together into
one movie? That's right. This is finally it.
This is the suspense thriller, which Dick Powell is a New York policeman who knows that
there is a plot to assassinate president-elect Abraham Lincoln on the train to Washington.
And he's got to find out who did who's who's behind it and stop them.
So before they can change the course of history, although he doesn't know how history is supposed
to happen.
It's 1861. He doesn't know.
It's a real fun movie.
It moves real fast.
And it's got fight scenes on trains, and I love those.
And it's a movie that manages to be about history without feeling kind of stuffy and without
feeling like too respectful of the time
throughout on the train,
ordinary people are constantly disagreeing about Lincoln
and whether there's gonna be war
and if there is, whether it's good or not,
and it felt very relevant right now,
leading, you know, watching it in the months leading up
to this most recent election,
it was like, people, it felt like being in a place
where you can't quite say your political opinion
out loud because someone's gonna argue with you and you don't know whose side everybody
is on and because that's what it was like. And that's kind of what it feels like nowadays.
And kind of how it felt like when I came into this podcast, we're talking about the monsters.
I hope this is, I hope you still you felt this was a safe space to talk about your liking
of the monsters.
Yeah, because you guys are pretty understanding when I have a opinion you don't have.
I mean, not usually, but the, but I really enjoyed it.
The tall target and there is one moment in it that I would really like someone to sample
where they stop in Baltimore and this lady, she, there's a kid selling newspapers and
this lady goes, is it war and the kid goes, no, man, it's Baltimore and the, and the way
that he says it, because it is so funny.
And I want some Baltimore based hip-hop group to sample that at the beginning of something.
I think it's a, it's just a great back and forth.
But tall target, it's just a fun movie in a way that historical movies sometimes aren't
and yet feels kind of relevant at the same time.
And there's fights scenes on trains.
I don't know why you're not watching it right now.
Wait, yes, I know, because Kevin's gonna recommend a movie.
You know, October, you're watching a lot of scary movies, right?
I didn't, I fell behind.
Possibly.
So I made up for it by watching one incredible movie,
which had just somehow escaped my radar from 1981,
from the director of the later plan to do the films, J. Lee Thompson,
1981's Happy Birthday to me.
You know, the one with the Shishka Bob on the cover.
It's great.
It's well made.
It's like an American Jalo, but not too much.
It's not trying too hard to be that.
And it was just like a very well-made suspenseful mystery,
horror slash or film with not one,
but two cast members of the movie,
Meatball, showing up.
I always loved seeing the campers from Camp North Star,
show up in other Canadian movies.
This one had not one, but two.
So highly recommended, a lot of fun.
If like me, you kind of dismissed it.
It's worth your time.
Based on the box cover.
Based on the box cover.
Also, I watched that recently as well, and I just, I had a great time. And it,
like with that kind of Jello or Jello, like influenced movie.
Jello. It's always been for you.
I, the wilder, the exploration for everything, the happier I am,
and it is so messy.
Totally bonkers at the end.
And you know, this is a bad movie podcast.
I belong to a bad movie group,
where we watch a movie on Monday nights occasionally.
I don't know if you guys have ever seen it,
but last week we watched a film called Georgia Rule,
which I'm gonna walk you guys through,
I'm getting weird.
This is just a joke. Oh, yeah. This is just a joke.
Just a joke. Okay. Yeah.
But I watched the movie and then I watched the movie and then I went back and heard the
episode. I heard the episode. Oh my God, guys, that was.
Yeah. It's a movie. I feel like there's a, I feel like there's an oral history be done
by what's your name? That Russian author who won the Nobel Prize for Literature, she's just oral
history.
An oral history of people who went to see Georgia rule thinking it was going to be a
life-perfect comedy and not being prepared for what it was actually about.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, before we do our normal sign-up stuff and plug Kevin's book one more time, there's
a announcement I would like to make of a flop house contest contest contest our producer
Dan don't fall down there. Oh, no, don't do it. All that tunnel or that pit. Luckily my
microphone fell down with me so I can continue talking to you
Our producer out Smith
Wonderful producer does music under the name, Howell Dottie, and
has his own podcast called Howell Dottie's Fast Track, where the premise is that he and
his guest will write lyrics to a song in half an hour, then Alc's writes music for that
song and kicks it back to the guest to the vocal tracks.
And the three of us were on the show recently.
We did a song called Sexy Zenomorph, which was about Stewart having an elicit encounter
with the titular Sexy Zena Morph.
And I gotta say, we're pretty proud of how it turned out.
It's actually a really good song.
So we're gonna do another Flophouse contest for listeners
to make a music video for Sexy Zena Morph.
Alex is gonna drop the song and somewhere at the end of this
episode and there will also be a link in the show notes so people can just download the
track on its own. So if you want to enter the contest, what you do is you make a music
video for the song, you can do whatever you want, live action, animation, puppets, use
old footage and re-edited it, whatever.
If you want to go into the studio archives, get the Xenomorph costume,
put it on, dance around in it, we can't stop you.
We wouldn't want to.
Once you've done your video, upload it as a public video on YouTube
with the words, sexy Xenomorph, somewhere in the title,
and somewhere in the video or just.
Dan, your search is gonna bring up a lot of interest.
No, no, no, no.
It's not for the search, it's just identification, but, uh, have sexes Univorfe somewhere in the
title and somewhere in the video or video description, whichever, just credit the music
to Howell Daudy's Fast Track and the Flop House Podcast. Then once it's uploaded, email a link to us at flophousepodcast at gmail.com with a subject
line sexy Z-Morph podcast.
I just, it occurred to me how funny that.
Yeah.
Sexy Z-Morph contest.
So yes, flop house podcast. So sexy Z-Morph contest in the subject line sexy Z scene, morph contest. So yes, flop house podcast.
So sexy scene, morph contest in the subject line.
Sexy scene, morph contest.
With the subject line sexy scene, morph contest.
Contest, sorry.
Context. What's the context?
Context is the context.
So the context is that, yeah, there's a contest about a song
where I have an elicit relationship with a...
That explains a lot.
Because this is a little more complex,
you have to make an actual video,
we're gonna be accepting entries
up to the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve.
So as long as you get it in in 2020,
we will take a look once we have-
I mean, 2022.
2022, sorry.
Oh, God.
Once we have all the entries-
Everyone, don't worry,
you did not miss the deadline by two years. Yeah. Once we have all the entries everyone don't worry you did not miss the deadline by two years
Once we have all the entries will we'll pick our favorite one somewhere between five and ten depending on how many
Entries would get and then we'll set up a page of like those semi-finalists on our website where you the listener can vote on the ultimate winner and
You know like that will figure out a little later, but we'll probably keep that voting open through January. The winner will get a flop house prize pack and
get to pick a movie for us to cover. So don't worry if you've missed some of the rules.
I'll put this in the show notes and on the website. And you can also rewind the, this
is a podcast. It's on your phone or whatever you can go back and listen to it again
That's the other option. Yeah, don't worry. These memories aren't gonna disappear like tears in the rain
You can you can go back and and relift them again. So that's the sexy scene of what?
Attachhips will be on fire. Yeah, attack ships will be on fire. Yes CBMS off the shoulder of whatever. Yeah, that's yeah
But um, that's it. We want to thank
Kevin Mar for being our guest. We want to plug Santa doesn't need your help.
This is such a treat.
Thanks so much, Kevin.
Yeah, thank you.
That's great.
Thank you for watching the Monster's movie 10 or 11 times.
Just for us.
Really appreciate that.
Did we and Dan, Dan, what a great job.
Something.
Thank you.
Nice to have you on the applause.
Alex Thrill.
Yeah, let's hear it for the boy.
Yeah, give me a thank you, but I think the boys heard it enough. Okay. Yeah, let's do it on the applause. Yeah, let's do it on the applause. Yeah, let's do it on the applause. Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause. Yeah, let's do it on the applause.
Yeah, let's do it on the applause. Yeah, let's do it on the applause. Yeah, let's do it on the applause. Yeah, let's do it on the applause. Yeah, let's do it on the applause. Yeah, let's do it's the night before Christmas Eve, a K-pop band comes to the North Pole to say,
this year, they will take over for Santa and save Christmas.
And Santa Claus is realizing year after year,
someone from pop culture shows up to save Christmas,
and he has not gone out in over 20 years.
Yeah.
So he decides he is tired of being talked down to,
like people can't, I think he can't do his job.
He's gonna go out and do it himself.
As it turns out, Santa has gotten a little old and a lot of practice and has a very difficult
Christmas Eve night.
So it is a struggle, it is hilarious, and it's got a lot of good pop culture stuff.
If you enjoy Rankin Bass Christmas specials or just any of the old Christmas specials,
I think you'll enjoy some of the humor in here.
Beautiful, beautifully illustrated by Joe Dator
who's a New Yorker cartoonist.
He has a great sense of composition
how to like tell a story in a single frame.
So every page has some great stuff going on.
And it's all written in rhyme.
So you'll enjoy getting to read it out loud
if that's your thing.
Great. Yeah. Yes. I have a copy. It's great. It's great.
Well, that's it. I'd like to thank our network, maximum fun. Go to maximumfund.org.
Check out the other great podcasts on the network. If you like our show, please give us a rating on iTunes,
write a review. It does help the way that they have everything set up.
If you don't like it, maybe just give it
to your national impulse to be lazy
and not do anything about that.
And thank you, Toro.
Yeah, why does everyone always need an opinion
on everything?
You know, if you don't like the podcast,
just kind of just remove it from your mind.
But if you do like it, maybe hire someone to sky write
about over a major metropolitan city.
I wrote a couple of pages. Maybe do that over a major metropolitan. I wrote about the public.
Maybe do that.
Yeah, if you could pay for the public, you're a great listener.
Thank you.
Accentric millionaire with the money to burn.
Why not help us out, but anyway, or a rational millionaire with money to burn.
We'll accept it from any kind of millionaire.
Thank you again, not billionaires though.
No, no, billionaires, You can go stuff yourself in. Two Alex Smith, our producer of the Howell Daudi Fast Track.
Uh, thank you for making us sound good.
Uh, and for the flop house, I've been Dan McEy.
Hey, I've been steward Wellington.
This is Elliot Kaylen, the real monster, and joining us has been Kevin Mar.
Bye.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
It was a crisp autumn night and I'm walking down the street Looking for a special life form that I'd like to meet
Rising up in front of me, I beheld in theory glow
But it was just that me on sign of above the ball where I'd like to go
Stuart doesn't know what he's about to find
A slightly neat swirpy dirty mind
A thuddy with the body from beyond the stars
From a distant clinical supermod.
Super sexy, super sexy hot.
Super, super sexy, super sexy hot.
I scroll in the door with my collar and pot.
Order of a drink in some lipper and shopped.
Out the corner of my eye
Something glistening gleamed
It was the techno organic creature of my dreams
It instant-sparted from across the place
When he saw the little things inside the bigger face
She had a dream that he had to take
But she had a third face inside the little face
And her face inside the little face
And her face inside the little face Face the side of the little face Face the side of the little face
Face the side of the little face
She was a sea of more
Sea of more
Super sexy, sea of more
Sex in more
Sex in more
Super sexy, sea of more
Sea of more
Sea of more
Super sexy, sea of more
Sex in more Sex in more Super sexy, sea of more See the door,
And say,
Let's go.
They slipped up the back,
He was the luckiest to mend.
Little did he know he never seen him again.
She stole his heart from a Brit in it too.
Played an egg in his tummy,
Don't let this happen to you.
Don't let this happen to you.
She was a xenomorph,
xenomorph,
Super sexes,
xenomorph,
Sexes,
xenomorphs,Vangilist
Super-Sexy Cinema
Cinema
Cinema
Super-Sexy Cinema
Sex Cinema
Super-Vangilist
Super-Sexy Cinema 6CV4
6CV4 Oh yeah no no no no no no it's cool no no no. The lights on. I want to see you.
Oh, oh, there is this second face.
Oh, for me.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh the more Super sexy, see the more Super sexy, see the more Super sexy, see the more
Super sexy, see the more
Super sexy, see the more
Super sexy, see the more
Super sexy, see the more
Super sexy, see the more
Super sexy, see the more
Super sexy, see the more
Super sexy, see the more
Super sexy, see the more Super sexy, see the more It was worth it.
Maximumfund.org.
Comedy and culture.
Artists owned.
Audience supported.