The Flop House - Ep. #384 - Marmaduke (2022)
Episode Date: December 3, 2022Wait didn't we do this movie before? Don't be ridiculous. That was Marmaduke (2010) this is Marmaduke (2022). How could you possibly have mixed that up? Anyway, this ain't your daddy's Marmaduke, prov...ided you have a very young daddy (in the case of the previous film) or a very old daddy (who loves the comic). This is the animated one for Netflix, with Pete Davidson as the titular Duke of Marma. Does it make the previous one look like the Citizen Kane of Marmaduke films? Kinda!Also, for those wishing to enter the SEXY XENOMORPH VIDEO CONTEST, here is a direct link to the isolated song file for the song of the winter, Sexy Xenomorph. Contest rules can be found down below, if you prefer reading them with your eye-holes over hearing them with your ear-holes.Wikipedia page for MarmadukeMovies recommended in this episode:The FabelmansBones and AllToo Late for TearsEver tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping. Sexy Xenomorph Contest: Full Rules —To enter the contest, make a music video for the song Sexy Xenomorph (link to song in show notes) in a style of your choosing.Once you’ve completed your masterpiece, upload it as a public video on YouTube with the words “Sexy Xenomorph” somewhere in the title, and be sure to credit the music to Howell Dawdy’s Fast Track and The Flop House podcast somewhere in the video or video description.Once the video is uploaded, email a link to us at flophousepodcast@gmail.com with the subject line “Sexy Xenomorph Contest.”We’ll be accepting entries up to midnight on New Year’s Eve, 2022.Once we have all the entries, the Flop House gang will pick our favorite ones – somewhere between 5 and 10 depending on how many entries we get – and we’ll set up a page on our website where people can vote on who wins.The winner will get a Flop House prize pack and will get to pick a movie for us to cover.
Transcript
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On this episode we discuss
Marmaduke the other one what did we do to deserve this
Dear God what did we do Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy.
Oh, I'm Stuart Wellington.
I'm Elliot Kaelin here to bring you an episode during the spookiest part of the year, December,
early December.
Ooh, I thought it was still November.
Ooh, well, we're recording this November, but it's going to be released.
Okay, because I'm still not.
You should.
Yeah, man.
If anyone did this during the last game in the last episode, the last episode, Stewart is still non-stop masturbating for non-stop,
not November.
You know, you gotta keep up.
This episode's being released in Don't Speak December.
They month dedicated to the No Doubt Song, Don't Speak.
Oh, no kidding, okay.
Well, finally, the song is going to get some credit in addition to Airplay, I don't
mention it.
Yeah.
Finally, yeah.
Okay, well, this is actually not a podcast about gross
things like jism or or don't speak. The hits on some notes. No doubt, which is, you know, I guess
don't listen to the back catalog that this is about bad movies. A podcast where we watch a bad
movie, then we talk about it. In this case, Dan, why did we do that? Why did we give ourself this premise? I mean, it's, it's had awards. Let's not pretend it has. But
several years on, there's just a time, there's a time when a grown man finds himself
shortly before his 41st birthday, watching the Marmaduke animated film and wondering
why, why, why, how is this possibly the best of all possible worlds? Just like the Doboy's premise has, you know,
ground them down physically.
This has granted us to have emotional.
And only consume garbage.
So this is not-
Which is also what the Doboy's is about.
Yeah, this is not the Marmaduke starring,
the live action one, quote live action with CGI animals
starring on-
Dead-Dohmose CGI.
Well, I guess this is also CGI, but it was a name for a two year CGI, but we did that one. You might remember we already talked about Marra Duke, starting at one.
We did that back in 2013.
Wow.
That was that episode was almost 10 years ago.
I watch the live action.
I probably say, don't go back and listen to that.
No, I'm probably not. I mean, it's, it's episode 131. So by that point, I felt like I feel like we action, Marma. Don't go back and listen to that one. I'm probably not.
I mean, it's episode 131.
So by that point, I felt like we were starting
to become human beings.
Yeah, yeah.
But grew up a little bit.
Yeah, and this is, as I said, I was keen on doing this.
So we complete the MCU, the Marmaduke Cinematic Universe.
The Marmaduke crap universe.
This one, I mean, you got to say, though, this one makes the other one look like a work of
genius.
Yeah, just looking when I was like, when I was going to log this shit on letter box, I saw
the poster for the other one, which features Marma Duke wearing sunglasses and I'm like,
oh, to have watched that movie is dead.
It's been a Speaking of letterbacks, I say you a screenshot of the score and out of like almost 2000
reviews of this Netflix Marvajouque, the average score is 0.9.
That's the average score.
Wow.
That is insane.
That means there's one score that says 10 stars perfect.
And then almost 2,000 other scores that say negative 10.
What's the maximum star rating on Letterback Stan?
Five star.
Five star system.
I don't know.
I'm wondering if they hacked the system to do 10 stars.
I don't know.
They got hackers in their payroll.
So do we need to talk about our history with Marmaduke?
I mean, Marmaduke is a big dog.
That's the whole premise.
He's a big dog.
Okay.
So I try, let me give you a little behind the scenes backstory of the Hailey Household.
My kids have lately been very nostalgic for when my older son Sammy guest starred on the
boss baby episode.
They didn't want to listen to a lot.
So when I said I was doing Marmaduke, kids movie, they ostensibly, even though there's one joke
about a man's wife hating him,
that was a little rough for a kid's movie.
But Sammy was like, I wanna do that episode too.
Explain to me, who's this Marmaduke guy?
And I was like, well, he's a big dog,
and they were like, Clifford, I was like, not that big.
He's just like a regular-sized large dog,
and they're like, but how big is he?
The big size of a house?
No, he's just like a dog. He's just a regular-d size large dog. And they're like, but how big is he? The best size of a house? No, he's just like a dog.
He's just a regular large dog.
There's nothing.
He's not monstrously big.
And so the phrase monstrously big
became the way that we were describing things.
And Sam was like, oh, I thought he was gonna be monstrously big.
I was like, no, he's not monstrously big.
He's just regular big.
And long story short, I told Sammy,
if he did his chores, then he could watch the movie with me. He did not.
And so he was unable to watch the movie. And while I stopped, I was gonna have to
pull up the movie. And I went to him and I said, Sammy, you should not watch this movie. I was like,
you, I would, this would be like if I poured garbage in your eyes and ears. You should, you're better off not
watching this. But he kept wandering into the room where I was watching it to ask me questions about it. So now Sammy has this strange kind of fetishistic fixation on the forbidden marmatute movie.
That's kind of, I was trying to explain, but I was trying to explain marmatute to them
and they like couldn't understand, they couldn't understand the humor implicit in a slightly
large dog getting in the way and being clumsy.
And to be honest, guys, I can't at this point.
Yeah, this is in the tradition of sort of like soft
observational, like down-home humor. I guess, you know, it's a, it's, it's, it's a, it's a,
it's not a strip. It's a one single panel comic, I guess, for, that's, that's a fucking trick
for just do a single panel for owner and that big dog's taking that. Like other people who own
large dogs and like think it's so hilarious, they're travails owning a big dog taking that like other people who own large dogs and like think it's so hilarious.
They're travails owning a big dog. Probably have a marvellous. And this is a comic strip.
This is a comic strip that's been going straight for, going on for almost 70 years straight,
started in 1954. This comic is all is only a couple months younger than my mom. And yet it is
somehow, I don't, it's, it's, it's made 70 years out
of this dog's big and doesn't realize how big he is. Like, I guess is it the way that,
is it the way that like funky winker bean lasted for a long time off of band teachers,
I think so. Just flipping out the marching band comic strips,
going up on classroom walls. And how Dilbert still survived, despite the
creator being a horrible human because there are office workers out there in the world
who need a calendar.
He's also very dumb.
He's not just horrible.
He's also an idiot.
He's also dumb.
Yeah.
He's also dumb.
Not since Johnny Hart stopped being an alcoholic
and became religious, has a comic strip,
that lost its humor and the guy behind it lost his,
lost his,
let's say mind. Yeah, love ability
Yeah, not not until not since Johnny Hart started doing comics heavily implying that Christianity was the replacement for Judaism
Has a college creator gone from hero to zero
Okay, let's let's yeah, let's get into this movie. So of course wait. Wait. We got before we get into our ass
Where's the Fred where's the Fred Bassett movie? Huh? Where's that? Where is Fred Basset? If we're doing unfunny comic strips about dogs,
you're the best. You're the one who's been fucking holly weird. Why don't you ask all your neighbors?
You're right. Physician heal myself. How should we be out pitching this right now?
Yeah. So we got five production logos. That's a good sign, right guys? Five logos.
Not always. One of them is Netflix. Okay. So we get a little animated title.
When one of the production logos is a publisher, you know, you're, you know, you're
going to watch a good movie.
So we get a little bit of an animated title sequence.
It's kind of like lightly animated, kind of in the spirit of like an 80s comedy.
And there's a funky Marmaduke song that I think is a horrifying precursor of what's
to come later on.
It is foreshadowing. You're like,
oh, a funky original Marmaduke song. What's this going to mean? Well, it foretells something even
more horrifying. Before we get too far in, I just want to say that one of the production
companies is one cool animation part of one cool group limited and a production company whose first film in 2014 was Naked Ambition
2, which is a, you know, looks like a honk, it's a Hong Kong movie with a busty lady on the
front. So that's like this, this, this, this production company seems to mostly specialize
in non animated films to no one's surprise based on the quality
of the animation in this.
Well, would it, would it, would it make you feel any better about it to know that this
movie is being, is was directed by Mark Dippey, director of the live action spawn from 1997?
Yeah, he's right.
Yeah, he's right to the live act of spawn.
And then also after that, mostly a bunch of straight to video animated things that look
even worse than Marmaduc if that's possible.
But yeah, I mean, he's well, he's well involved with comic strip movies because he made Garfield
gets real Garfield's fun fest and Garfield's pet force.
So.
So after the opening credits, we do get the actual animation style of this movie and how
do you define that Dan?
Because we've already alluded it is, let's say, on appealing to the art.
It is not as bad as food fight,
but it looks like what I suspect food fight.
The faintest of praise.
The faintest possible praise were animated films.
It looks like what I suspect food fight looked like
before the hard drives were stolen.
A lot of the assets in the background
are clearly just like pre-made things
that have been bought and shuffled around, like trees placed a place or a house. And everyone.
Just about to character design for us. Yeah, how do these have these characters?
The character design is, I would say that like most of the humans are blobs with like
stick arms and many of them have stick legs other than the mom who is fucking dragon away and baby. Yeah, it's like a
lane broken to the into the design room being like, Alastair girls not enough. Yeah.
Let's add some more junk to that truck. She looks like she's about to go on a
girls weekend of Miami. You know, I don't want to focus too much on this, but
it's it is impossible to ignore. She's wearing these like Terry cloth shorts
that have more camel toe
than I am comfortable with for a children's movie.
And if Dan's uncomfortable.
Okay, well, great.
Well, they're really, like you said,
they're really going for that positive Anthony Lane review.
Yeah.
So let's, and so you mentioned,
you mentioned this funky Marmo deux song.
Let's just say one thing,
the soundtrack of this movie is not good, but it is working hard.
Yeah.
The soundtrack of this movie is constantly working so hard to suggest to you
that this is the funky fresh cool for the 90s Marmaduke that we've all been waiting for.
Yeah, with the voice of David's on the Marmaduke as Marmaduke, you know, everyone thought like this could capture Marmaduke.
Only the power of Pete Davidson
Manfamous for dating people as far as I've been able to do sir
Pete Davidson doing a voice performance that I would describe as I would not know it was Pete Davidson unless his name was
Clearly listed in the credits. It's not necessarily a distinctive distinctive voice and only only the minorest amount of shade being thrown here
But if I were to I would just not assume that a
Professional actor did this performance. No, I was surprised that the the the father is played by David Keckner like the head of the household
Marma Duke. It's a heavily restrained performance by David. Yeah, he does not sound like anything. He sounds like
And yeah, he does not sound like anything. He sounds like he just, you know, we joked about Eric Roberts, recording from the bathtub.
Like I think this, these, these sound like voice memos.
He put on his phone.
It's the weirdest thing is when you're watching a clearly kind of, I assume low budget,
animated direct to Netflix movie.
I think it was supposed to be released in theaters, but I don't know if there was uh... i guess there's a box office total on wikipedia so maybe it was uh... and
the most energetic voice performance by little bit is coming from jk simmonds as yes as yes as
as lucia and academy award-winning actor who i don't know why he's involved in this at the moment
is the one person not entirely phony and probably money or he likes or he likes Marmaduke a lot.
It was not maybe he loves Marmaduke.
Yeah, it was not released theatrically in the US.
It was released in other markets.
Okay.
Okay.
So just to give a much the way the much the way the T shirts for losing Super Bowl teams
are sent to other countries to be worn by by those who don't have enough first world
rights losing marmaduke.
The winningly teams of the two marredick films and we're sending it.
So a little bit of background.
Marbredook is a great day, who is large and clumsy and poorly behaved.
And he lives with a family whose name I do not remember, who are kind of fed up with
him.
They live in the suburbs.
And it's a suburban neighborhood that kind of looks like the suburbs level
from Hitman to if you had a dial, the like resolution down so that you didn't like,
you didn't have a lot of lag in the game. Um, so Marmordewke is not allowed to go to Billy, the
Sun's birthday party due to some past indiscretions that we are kind of lightly
birthday party, due to some past indiscretions that we are kind of lightly suggested. Something about a bone, yeah, et cetera.
Marmaduga's trapped upstairs and he has to watch all the kids have fun in the pool.
And he gets to watch the father fill cooking meat, which he describes as cooking my favorite,
which is hilarious.
It was a very good voice read.
I also, Marble Dean is being treated as if like,
he's going to understand the cause and effect
between like this punishment and previous,
you know, problems that he's caused.
And Marble Dean is a dog.
Like, he's being punished for doing dog things.
With the voice of a man.
But he is, it's also, it's also never totally clear whether other characters can hear him
talking.
So dog who learns martial arts.
So I think they, I think they could legitimately expect him to understand consequences for
his actions.
But this universe now, Dan, you're our, you're our cartoon expert.
Does Marmordew normally talk in the comic strip?
No, Marmordew is just a dog.
He is a force of nature. He is, he is
some kind of a natural constant. Yeah, any talking is done about Marmaduke, by Marmaduke.
So he's kind of like Godot is what you're saying. So Marmaduke gets distracted. He falls
asleep on a bed. He has a weird dream and then a B attacks him and it forces him to jump
out the window where he lands in a swimming pool which causes causes a massive tsunami, tsunami.
What man?
I just pulled a marmaduke.
Yeah, boy.
Because he's like massive tidal wave.
It like drowns everybody at the party and floods the interior of their own surfing
on it.
It's amazing.
It's amazing.
Okay, so this is like a big inflatable pool at a party, roughly the size of a bounce house, let's amazing. It's amazing. Okay, so this is like a big inflatable pool at a party,
roughly the size of a bounce house, let's say.
Yes.
And there's enough water in it to flood it down.
It's crazy.
Yeah, they're surfing on it.
It's a huge wave that it's, it's, like it takes cartoon physics and takes it into
the realm of biblical miracles.
I am so glad that you mentioned cartoon physics because I wanted to bring this up, Elliot,
where I have, I'm a little disperited by the fact that like Pixar, that, you know, a great
company that's made many like, like, Mac's, he's level cartoons.
But like, what are we going to have to disavow from a dance about?
No, I'm just like, their style has become largely,
people are breaking out of it now.
But for a long time, it was largely the default style
for animation and it has cartooniness in it obviously.
But the idea of wacky cartoon physics kind of got
eliminated because of the,
part of that's because of how a cartridge like computer animation works.
It's hard to do the sort of distortions that,
you know, you can do in 2D animation and make it look not
horrifying, but like, you know, so I'm not against
wacky car.
You're right.
That a lot of a lot of a lot of CJ animation has become about
how real can you make it look as opposed to how
funny can you make exactly and so I would love more wacky cartoon physics, but the cartoon
physics and Marma to bear in like so little relation to how any two objects would interact
that any possible comedy is smothered under like the weight of it.
I'm just glad I wasn't there when Isaac Newton was watching this movie just like with his head and his hands being like, no, no, no, no, that's I spent so much of my life under
standards because he's torn his eyeballs out.
Yeah.
Just pulled an apple from a tree and hit himself over the head with it.
Exactly.
Well, that rant was not as bad as I expect.
I thought Dan was going to be like, I wish more movies were like wicked city and shit.
And I'm like, whoa, that's crazy dude.
Even the kid movies.
So let's see.
So footage of Marmordew called the city.
You ever seen Wicked City Dan?
So there's this spider lady, okay?
And she is not a very good first date.
Just hit Wicked City GIF and you're gonna get some good stuff.
And I ain't you watch First date. Okay. Just hit wicked city gif and you're going to get some good stuff.
Watchlist on litter box.
So the footage of him falling out of the window goes viral and draws the attention of
the world's greatest dog trainer.
Guy, I think his name is, I want to say, just draw the attention.
This is a hilarious setup because like the news cast on the fact that this video has
gone viral. hilarious setup because like the newscast on the fact that this video is going viral,
like starts out just as like a news report on this video.
And then the news reporter is like, this dog is clearly untrainable.
Even the world's greatest dog trainer who is retired from training dogs because there
are no challenges.
Couldn't do this and the guys sitting there watching it.
And I kind of respected the movie for going that far and the thickness of the set up.
That the news reporters are not just, uh, they're not just reporting on the news,
but they are inciting and taunting real people to get the movie going.
They welcomed to I and N inciting news network.
The news channel that makes movie plots happen.
Yeah.
Now, I want to talk about Guy for a moment.
Guy is set up as if he's going to be the villain of the movie, right?
Like he's, he seems like he's scheming.
He has some sort of, he's using Marmaduke for zone ends.
And the movie seems to lose interest in that characterization of Guy.
Fairly quick.
And he also seems to be maybe a match for Marmaduke.
Like when he first introduced himself to the family, he shows that
he is fast enough to keep Marmaduke from eating treats off of a plate. And he is, he
forces Marmaduke to do all this training. A lot of that training cuts into his time,
running around pretending to be a horse so that the son of Billy can ride around and they can chase King Tut the cat who is in the
role of Black Bart a outlaw.
But sorry, now that we brought the cat, I just want to ask, like, what's Marmorduk's relationship
to the cat at the beginning of this movie?
Because at the, towards the end, the cat posed an ally and I was like, did I miss something
where a change of heart occurred or like, did I miss something where a change of heart or like what?
Yeah, there's the cat.
It's again, similarly, it seems like they're setting up
a classic rivalry dog in cat.
But yeah, the cat turns out to be Marmaduke's biggest
supporter, the biggest champion.
And in the end, the cat later explains,
Marmaduke would never to allow any harm to come to the family,
which is kind
of a wild thing to say.
This is Marmaduke's constantly harming the family by accident.
And also like his, his powers ultimately are limited.
Like he, it's not like he can like prevent financial ruin or like some kind of horrible
medical condition arise.
Like you never know. The cat becomes, it becomes an integral part of Marmaduke's later show stopping dog show
performance as we'll see when we get to it.
And the show stopping performance that is never scored.
There's no scores whatsoever.
I guess it's just implied that it's perfection.
Yeah.
And but at a certain point during that performance, we'll get to it.
I guess the cat is doing all the work and Marmaduke is doing none of the work.
But anyway, this cat, it's a,
I guess what you're saying, Danultly,
is the character motivations
that dynamics are a little mushy.
Marmaduke.
So this is real, this is real,
second draft problems in that,
I think there was no second draft of the script.
It has real, it has real,
we need to start making the movie in four hours energy.
That's kind of what, what it's got.
Yeah.
And very little narrative thrust because there is a point we'll get to it, like partway
through the movie where I'm like, I guess the main, the main part of the movie is over
and we're moving on to something else now.
Turns out that's not true, but I thought that way for a second.
Anyway.
Yeah.
So the, the first day of training where they're training out in the park, it basically
devolves into this like martial arts battle, where Marmaduke becomes obsessed with the
promise of learning a magical kick technique from his trainer.
He then, and then we get like a montage where he's getting trained in posture, impulse
control, and agility.
And the montage involves him failing at all these things, but then all of a sudden he can just do them all.
Yeah, he gets wet with a lot of tree branches along the way.
Including in the nuts, and he reacts particularly to that, which, here's the problem.
If Marva Duke hasn't been fixed, not that I'm huge with taking body parts out of animals,
that's not something I'm normally about,
unless that animal is dead, I'm gonna eat that body part.
But if you really wanna control Marmaduke's energy,
you gotta get him fixed.
Winslow's this is on you.
Like, that's the issue.
I'm so, that Marmaduke is entering
Pond Far constantly, and he's going to go wide.
He's entering chemors, something.
Okay, so at the completion of his training, he manages to earn his name back because his
name was taken from him by his trainer at the beginning of their training.
He was simply dog.
Now he has a name, Marmadoupe.
Yeah, this is a, this is a real nine and a half weeks move on the part of it, of the
trainer to be like, you don't have a name anymore.
You're just dog.
You'll get the name back when you prove yourself.
Just like nine and a half weeks, super fucking hot.
Yeah.
Just like that.
I'm gonna eat all of this food off you, Marwarduke.
And you have to control yourself.
You can't have any control.
Yeah.
Okay, so we then have a local dog show
where we're introduced to James Simmons.
A little dog show that is also one of the two levels
of dog shows. Yeah, it was only two.
This level dog show.
And then the world's dog shows, the only two levels, which, which is funny because though
the, the, the sound of the crowd at this dog show, sounds immense.
See the stands.
There's maybe 24 people there.
So, well, one of those people though is, is Michael Winslow, who came to see the Winslow
family's dog.
And he's doing the sounds of a crowd.
Yeah.
So we are introduced to JK Simmons, who is in the role of Zeus, who is some kind of like
an Afghan or like Wolfhound dog.
And he has the shiniest coat, his trainers, either these two like, bagel European twins.
Yeah, they're like then was it Nelson?
Was that the best of them?
Yes, it's the most important Nelson.
Yeah.
And his coat is so shiny and shimmery, we get multiple shots of people just like obsessively
wanting to fuck this dog.
Yeah, every single member of the cast gets sparkles in their eyes from this dog's coat and are almost hypnotized as later
They will be hypnotized by the beauty sheer beauty of Zeus on the outside because inside Zeus is a really ugly character
What is it? I want to ask these two Nelson-esque
Trainers who are kind of like
Euro-style-ish, you know, like
What is it about that persona
that seems to keep popping up in kids' movies especially?
It feels like that was a 90s joke to me.
It was the kind of like, oh, what is this?
Oh, so fancy, like that kind of thing.
But the Ferdinand movie has the characters like that also.
And later on this movie indulges in a series of stereotypes.
But what is it about this thing? These things that
are kind of like outdated adult comedy things that end up in kids movies and kids have no
frame of reference for them as far as talk that up to you as a comedy writer who is occasionally
lazy in this way himself. It is you lazy comedy writers recycling things that they saw and putting them into their scripts
because they don't respect the assignment that they're on and they're like, all right, that's fair.
Kids leave this crap up. Yeah, it does remind me of something I was told at the who was show
when I was working there, where with that writer was like writer, it was like, was like kids don't know.
It's hacky for us to do a comedy rap sketch.
They've never seen them before.
Let's do one.
We could trick him.
So because this is a, so maybe that's it.
Sure.
Because this is a smaller dog show.
And because, uh, guy has retired and he doesn't want to draw undue attention to Marmaduke guy has to go
undercover.
He dresses up kind of like an abusive hipster boyfriend type character would like.
I was going to say I was going to say his disguise was like Matthew McConaughey in the beginning
of Dallas buyers club.
Like that's because he reminded me.
Similar vibes.
Zeus sabotages Marmaduke by tempting him with the awards banquet, which Marmaduke devours all of the food that was laid out
Which first off, it's like the there's so caterers around there's so much food. I
There's no
Cartoon cartoon catering they just leave all the food out for hours with no one touching it
And there's also all kinds of foods. There's like a wedding cake. There's a whole turkey, which the uncard, which is bonkers.
Yeah, I don't know these are dog macarons, or just like regular.
Yeah, it's unclear who this, who this bank would have.
So he eats all this food and he gets like comically fat, but his body, the rest of his body
is very skinny and bony. So he kind of looks like the flea women from the castle level
and bloodborne, which is not cool. Like this is levels of body horror that like David Kronenberg would see and be like,
okay, this is a real great farm or two job. I do want to, yeah, I want to, I like, I've been working
on that Kronenberg impression. I agree with Stuart here. No, that was a great, you really captured
the Canadian aspect of Kronenberg and also the that he likes to approve of things. That's something that I that I fake. Oh boy. That's sure is disgusting. Oh, I'm sorry if I'm
sorry if existence was a little too much for you. That kind of thing. Yeah. I don't care. I just
like warfaces. No, I, I, he calls them are offices. I want to, I want to assure you guys I understand
Marble Duke is not real. It's a cartoon character. Okay. Good. That's the first step towards accepting the reality around you.
I was so afraid. What is not part of the reality? Just dressed by this scene because Marbu
Duke's belly is so distended. Oh, he's in such pain. He's like riding around and there's
one point where like the camera gets really close up. So we really see like the short
hair fur texture, the computer fur texture, it just takes over.
And it looks like I don't know, like rustling parts of a brother's quay.
Shorter, something.
It's gross.
There's a brief moment where he lets out an enormous fart and his body gets skinny
again.
And you're like, oh, maybe the, maybe the troubles have passed.
Unfortunately, this is a last king of Scotland's moment. He just had a huge part in the mass insight of how it's been
absorbed. Unfortunately, that is not the case. He kind of, he blows up again, and he just
can't stop farting. And he looks at the camera and there's a moment where he looks at the
camera and says, uh, oh. And then runs toward the doggy bathroom area, only to looks at the camera and there's a moment where he looks at the camera and says, uh oh.
And then runs toward the doggy bathroom area only to stop at the first place trophy.
And he takes a horribly bad shit that stops time, covers the entire grounds in like a greenish
gas and enough birds enough birds are falling out of the sky dead.
I can assume.
Yeah. So that they form like a out of the sky dead. I can assume. Yeah, so that
they form like a mountain of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the last flock of passenger
pigeons. Unfortunately, yeah. As murdered several birds at least possibly human lawn
lakers. We don't see the aftermath. I will say I will. Well, you will we see is because
everyone's frozen in time as we pan past them as they experience this gas fog.
And I have to admit, this is a thing.
This was a moment where I was like, okay, this is a funny.
I don't find this funny.
I don't find the idea of Marmadou taking a huge shit funny, like, but the passing
pie by everybody frozen in time with this very dramatic music.
That was a funny idea for it.
And then yeah, then it ends on a huge pile of dead.
I can only assume that you ran over and you dragged your son into the room to watch
this.
Yeah.
No, if only because if my son was watching this, he would have loved it.
He would have loved it.
Cause my kids think nothing is funnier than poop, parts, butts.
Again, the height of comedy for my kids is the minions pants fall off and then and then
a real turd falls out of their mouth.
They're the most fun funniest thing they could imagine.
Like a real real turd like a like a like a photo of the like like it like it like as if
Terry Williams snuck in and put a clip to be a poop out of a magazine and then added that's
the animation.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Okay.
Cause I thought it would be like, you know, much like dog training you would be coming in
and rubby's rubbing Sammy's face in Marbado dude shit being like, see, this is what you wanted.
This is what you wanted.
Yeah.
You got it.
Was it worth it?
Yeah.
I feel like in the fan doctrines.
I feel like in the fan doctrines.
I want to make it clear to anyone.
I feel like in a few years, like LA,
sons are going to like steal a phone and they're going to start
their own like poop and fart based TikTok channel just to drive
LA crazy.
I mean, I'm crazy until until they monetize it. So, I mean, they're superstars. I can just to drive LA crazy. That's how I mean, I'm trying to be crazy until they monetize it.
Yeah.
And then LA will become their like cool agent guy or an mascot.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, that always works great.
When a parent becomes the representation first, there's all of this.
There's never been a problem.
As they reach the levels of fame that I always wanted and now I'm both proud of them and
resentful of them for being more successful than me.
Oh, yeah.
That's a good, that's a good emotional stew.
Yeah.
So, the kids are now social.
So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so didn't win big surprise. The kids are now social pariahs because their dog is gross,
which feels like a stretch.
Yeah.
It does.
Well, this is a viral video.
Again, this is a viral, this goes viral also.
And all the kids are making for them.
Your dog is gross.
But again, if these kids,
they're a little older than my kids.
But if they're anything like my kids,
my kids will want nothing more than to be friends
with the kid whose dog poop so.
Hello, everything.
Like they have so many questions about the dog's poop.
They'd want to see it pooping.
The other day, Sammy out of nowhere, he goes,
daddy, didn't you say once that you saw a video
of a chimpanzee peeing in its own mouth?
And my wife was like, don't talk,
we're at the dinner table.
She goes, don't talk about that.
That's not real, don't say that.
And he was like, but daddy mentioned,
I was like, well, I did one see a video
of a chimpanzee being in his own mouth.
And he had so many questions about it.
It was the thing he wanted to hear about more than anything else.
Wait, I'll be like, I'll be like, Sammy, let me tell you about this holiday that we celebrate
as Jews.
It's a part of our heritage.
I'm not interested.
Tell me about the ring.
The chimpanzee being in his own mouth.
Wait till he finds out about the guy that was in the fucking Moshbed.
I think it was like an origin show who's like in the middle of the pit and he just whips
his dick out and pe peas in his own face.
It's crazy.
You got to look at this video.
I don't know.
It's crazy.
I mean, that's like, I can see it, but I don't want to look at it.
I don't, I don't want my kisses to that.
But it, or, or, for instance, another example, they've never seen it, but they've heard
many tales of the videos I've seen of hippopotamuses swinging their tails around like a
pepillar while they poop, So the poop flings everywhere.
I learned recently why they do that.
That's that was not a trick that one hippo do.
Okay, fucking bill.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just a way, it's just a way of spreading their scent in order to attract mates and
and kind of mark their territory.
Yeah.
And honestly, if you had a tail that you could whip around like a helicopter blade, you'd
do it, right?
Yeah, of course.
So at this point,
Marmaduke's pretty depressed,
the family's pretty depressed.
There's like a kind of like sad depressed dinner scene
that feels like something out of the middle of hereditary.
And this is the point of the movie that I referred you before,
where like, look, I've seen movies before.
I know that this is not over.
I know that there has to be something,
but like it really seems like the way that the movie is done. Somehow makes it seem like, okay, we've abandoned the idea that Marmaduke is going
to be a star. And I'm like, that can't be right. We're 40 minutes in.
Yeah. Guys, I want to, I'm looking briefly at the Wikipedia entry from Marmaduke and I
just wanted to give a shout out to whoever wrote the plot summary because they, I want
to read two sentences for you about the previous scene we're out before before one lap around the field Marmaduke releases
voluminous clouds of noxious flatists which envelopes the entire field
Marmaduke soars through the air and lands backside down in the winners trophy
releasing his innards to the greatest may of all present
I don't know I don't know if HP Lovecraft or Harry Stephen Heeler
stepped into right that we could Wikipedia tree, but excellent work.
Oh, yeah. Okay. So they also receive a huge bill from Guy, the trainer, which, Phil,
the father had suggested they were expecting to pay out of Marbadoot's winnings, which
is like, oh, man, you got a lot of brother and also the winnings are a million dollars.
I don't know if you guys saw the numbers on this bill. It equally, it easily adds up to over 20 million dollars. Like it's crazy.
At one point, at one point, it charges them like $400,000 for one aspect and over a million
for another aspect. It's like, guys really inflating these bills. Yeah. You know, this is,
it's all this hidden fees. I thought Biden was going to take care of that stuff.
Yeah. That's, that's, that's the real dog shit in this movie. It's not what came out of Marmaduke. It's
this, it's this guy's bill. So Marmaduke runs away from the family because he feels like
he has let everybody down. He's hearing all the naysayers voices in his head as he runs
through the rain, only to be stopped by King Tut, the cat who convinced him to know.
Not the mummy.
Yeah, King Tut the mummy. King Tut the cat that what a lifter. He he
said the mummy showed up Marma Duke. I need your help recovering my heart from the British
museum. Okay, sounds like a Capra King Tut. So Marbiduke decides that he is going to try
and convince Guy to come back and train him again.
Guys not having it. He is sick of Marmaduke. Marmaduke has ruined his career. So Marmaduke decides to
run around the world like for his gum kind of and he does the only thing he can do to prove that he
has what it takes to be a champion dog. And in a very short montage runs around the entire earth. Including swimming under the ocean and being chased by a giant shark.
This is the point.
Well, all right, there are a couple of things in this montage.
Number one, like he's shown running towards the last.
He runs up a pyramid.
He runs up a realistic, okay?
He's being shown running to Alaska and there's a sign that points to Siberia, which is in
Russia.
And he never goes to Siberia in Russia.
At no
point during this whole thing, is he going to see, well, we see him go from Alaska to, to
Russia briefly, you know, we don't see him in Siberia like a scene of it. We see him on
the map. He walks across. I assume the, I assume the land bridge that was there when the
earliest humans came to North, the North American continent. I assume it's still there.
I think he does. I think he goes over to like,
he like we see him cross over to like,
like Korea and then go down through China
because he goes on the great world.
We'll put this in the, we'll put this in the Google section
that it's promised that Marmaduke goes to Siberia,
but we don't actually see it.
It is a montage.
Either way, this is like a nutty montage like like chased by sharks on the grave.
No, where? And this is a part of the movie where I'm like, okay, the movie's been wild
up until this point, but surely this is a dream sequence as we've had Marble Duke dream
sequences before. No, this literally happens in the movie. He wins back the respective
dog trainer by running solo around the world.
It's funny because the trainer is still resistant
until the family basically humiliates him
into taking Marmordek back.
This was the moment when I, to be honest,
up to this point I found this movie pretty boring.
It seemed like it was, it was, they hadn't,
but then suddenly he runs around the world
and I was like, okay, this movie is getting,
this movie's getting a little strange,
like that Marmaduke, one can accomplish this,
two thinks it's gonna solve his problem,
and three, that it's tossed off so quickly as like a,
as almost nothing, like yeah, of course,
Marmaduke runs around the world,
the kind of thing that you might find in folklore.
Like if Marmaduke was called Bunyan,
and they'd be like, well, then he ran around the world
and up the pyramids, but that they, then just, they reject it so quickly so it can go back to the larger plot about
Marmaduke as a dog show contestant, which is not it's like the movie briefly became a movie and
stop being an episode of the Marmaduke TV show. But then yet they go to the the trainer is still
not convinced until Billy calls him a failure. And he is so overjoyed to finally be called a failure.
Yeah.
He has a humiliation fetish.
Because that was it.
Because I like, I could not anonymize this.
I was like trying to figure out where in his speech that he gives, it made any sense what
he was talking about.
But if he has a humiliation, he's just not, he's so used to winning that he just needs somebody.
It's, you know, like when you're dealing with somebody
who's powerful and has so much charisma
as guy the world's greatest dog trainer,
like he just wants somebody to knock him down a peg.
That's the only way to get off.
I mean, this makes us logically to me.
Like they're making the point that like,
it's basically a poor workman,
blames his tools point of like,
you're calling Marma Duka failure,
but if you're really the greatest dog trainer, like you failed and like you have to show that.
That makes sense to me, but instead of him vocalizing that, he's kind of like finally I've been
called a failure. Thank you. Thank you little boy for calling me a failure. Thank you for being
the person who called me a failure.
For by calling me a failure, you reminded me failure.
That's the failure.
And it was like, it felt like the Vatican scene
in a lien where it was like,
how many times is he gonna say the word failure?
But it just feels like it's especially the one two punch
of this scene after the Marmaduc running around the world scene.
I was just so mind boggled by the fact that the movie was like, well,
there's only one solution. Marmaduke's got to run around the whole world. And you know
what? We're not going to spend that much time on it.
Yeah. So guy pulls some strings and gets them entered into the world dog championships.
We now flash forward to the big city.
Some things by, wait, this is what it's something I want to hold on a distra second
is he calls, I guess, the head of the World Dog Championship.
Who's this woman who seems to have a crush on him and he's like, and keep, well, she's
like anything for you guy and you can keep your schedule open.
Remember that dinner place I took you to?
Oh, yes, well, I'd love to.
But then a couple scenes later, guy sees her and is very nervous about talking to her.
And it's like, it seems like their dynamic
has suddenly shifted entirely.
But he's just gonna approach her.
He's way better over the phone, you know?
Well, no, I mean, back first.
I do think it's set up as if like,
this is a manipulation he's going to do
on this totally love-loan person.
But instead, they're both like,
bashful in love with each other.
I guess, I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's he has he has kind of an almost heel turn very early in the movie, but then he's a
but then he's like, he's a pretty boy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It comes to baby face.
Okay.
So that's what I meant when I said pretty boy, I meant baby face.
So then we get I mean, he's also pretty boy.
I was thinking of pretty boy Nelson, the gangster.
We then we then get a we get the arrival of all the other dogs that are competing.
These are dogs from other countries.
These are dogs that in many cases are racist stereotypes.
Yeah.
Oh boy.
Yeah.
Hey, there's a Tuama for Mexico.
Guess what his favorite food is?
Hey, guys.
No.
No.
Hey, guess what the talent of, guess what the talent of the Chinese dog is?
Kung Fu and mysticism.
Yeah.
Apparently wrapping, although that doesn't get mentioned.
The French dog, I looked at...
Shantro?
Yeah, I looked up who did it and it's a professional voice actor.
And I, I don't know, I looked it up because I'm like, this French accent is so bad.
I'm sorry to the voice actor who did it.
I think it's probably less in indication on her talent because she appears to be highly
in demand and more in indication of she correctly clocked the amount of effort she needed to
put into this marmordue move.
Yeah, but yeah, these are all pretty bad like ethnic stereotypes.
Yeah, we get some scenes of like Zeus talking shit to all the other dogs.
We're also introduced to a really cool muscle dog from England, Vinnie, I'm a big fan.
So we actually get to the competition itself. And we, I think the first category is they have, the dogs have to
show their self control. So they are presented with their favorite food that has bacon added
to it. So one Pedro, the dog from Mexico, this and this another case, they say the word
bacon so many times throughout this sequence. And this is another case where it feels like
kids are getting kind of leftover jokes.
We all remember the period about what, 10 years ago
where bacon was suddenly the funniest food.
And it was around the, I feel like there was a hipster
joke catalog that was like unicorns, bacon,
handle bar moustaches, and pirates.
And now kids get that stuff.
Yeah, and what?
Check Norris.
Yeah, and Chuck Norris. Yeah, all that stuff.
Yeah.
Also, like, look, I realize it's a cartoon,
but I'm like, this is not something
that happens in a dog show.
Where were they?
They know dogs get rich.
Oh, damn, help them.
They don't present each dog with their favorite food
that has additional bacon added to it.
So Juan Pedro is presented with a bacon taco,
which he is, of course, unable to resist. He bites it
at his, I guess, cast into limbo. He is disqualified for the competition.
Yeah, he's sent to the Phantom Zone. I will give the, I will give the movie credit for not having
him say Kiro taco as like as a nod to the old Taco Bell commercials. That's kind of reference
to an old thing kids won't know about that you might see in it, you know, kind of second or
three weeks. Yeah, except for otherwise, he is that character, but he is that character otherwise to an old thing kids won't know about, that you might see in it in a kind of second or third step.
Except for otherwise, he is that character, but he is that character otherwise entirely.
Yeah.
After getting some inspirational words from G, the magical dog, Marmaduke is able to resist
the slice of bacon pizza.
He is present in magical.
What is the magical advice?
Yeah, tell us what the magical advice is.
That he has to be become the bacon or be the bacon, I believe. So, if magical advice is. That he has to become the bacon or be the bacon, I believe.
So, to defeat the bacon, he has to become the bacon.
Yeah, he imagines that his own face is coming out of a portal, a magical portal that is
in the middle of the slice of pizza that's presented to him.
And weirdly enough, the portal goes, extends to the rear side of the pizza slice where
Marmaduke's tail was sticking
out.
You might be wondering, Stuart making this up, he is not.
This is what happens in the film.
No, no.
And this is, and this is, and this is a little fly to fancy.
No, this, and this hallucinatory, simulacrum of, of Marmaduke.
He, he, he tells Marmaduke, I'm the bacon.
I'm you.
I wouldn't eat me.
Would you eat me?
Would you eat yourself?
Yeah. And it's like
with the I think it's just like so many help
already me would you know me? Yeah, then Ray Liotta comes out not not shenan his own brain.
Don't know. And uh, but it's one of those things where
uh, what we're seeing doesn't make sense, But in this case, they go so far to explain the reasoning to Marma Duke so that he won't
eat this piece of pizza.
But I guess it works.
You can't knock success because Stuart what happens?
He doesn't eat the pizza and hooray.
He I guess survives at the next round.
And who does he the pizza?
Oh, yeah, his trainer eats the pizza, right?
God, there's this weird running gag of guy eating all the food that Marma Duke wants to eat
and eating it the way that a snake would eat it.
He just drops the whole thing into his mouth and his throat just pulls it down.
Yeah, he's trying, he's showing off his throat game for this woman that he's interested.
Oh, God.
So, uh, during the agility competition, Zeus.
Stuart, how would Game of Thrones be different?
It was called Game of Throats.
Oh, that already exists.
It's on the browser's network.
Okay, we can then forget I asked.
Okay, so during the agility competition, Zeus, who performs quite well, attempts to sabotage
Marmorduk by using some of the Zeus Zeus's brand of shampoo.
Now, both of these dog shows Zeus has had a setup of shampoo to sell his own brand of
shampoo.
That seems like a conflict of interest that he's both a contestant and also has a merchandising
table right in the competition area, right?
That sounds like it's, there's something wrong with that.
Perhaps that there's some corruption at the higher levels, which we, I mean, maybe
this just a clue.
So he squirts some of his shampoo and Marmadouk gets it all over his feet.
But somehow his natural clumsiness works out perfectly.
And Marmadouk is able to complete the skills, the agility competition perfectly, except
at the end, he accidentally injures his trainer guy and
guy has to go to the hospital and Marmordou won't be able to compete anymore.
Now, I want to say, when he slips his slides his way at great speed through this obstacle
course, because he's got, he has stepped in shampoo.
Like this shampoo seems to be like self-generating.
Like he keeps having more shampoo come out of his paws as if like, you know, he's on like a sketch comedy show where he has to like throw up and they have like a tube
to do the sleeves.
He's like, there's a lot.
This is amazing shampoo.
It like it's $99.99.
Yeah, it's a dress.
It's expensive dog shampoo.
And also, I think there was a missing scene where, where in order to defeat Thor, Loki gifted Marmaduke with the
ability to absorb elements and then also, uh, make them part of his body. Uh, and so he,
this, he's using that tool here to absorb the shampoo and thus generate more shampoo. Yeah,
yeah. Yes. But I think, I think there was, so because Thor was going to be part of this
movie and then Marvel pulled out of the last minute of making the Marmaduke cinematic
universe part of the Marvel cinematic universe. And so they had to replace Thor with the mom with the huge butt. Yeah. But with the
trainer in the hospital, they, yeah, they can't compete, which I was like, really, they can't. And
as, as we see through the movie, like that is just with pretty quickly, the families like,
oh, we'll just do it. And they're like, okay, that's fine. So, then- The dad has had a real, we'll say,
emotionally, the dad has had a real turn about.
The dad was always the one who was like,
Marmaduke needs training, Marmaduke's a big problem.
Now he recognizes, you know what, Marmaduke's great,
and he does have a trainer now.
Team Winslow, which I don't know if you can have a family
as your trainer,
but he says the expert on dog shows.
Can you have a family as trainers?
Yeah, I think my expertise ends at knowing that you don't just put food in front of
them and say, can you resist it? But yeah, I can't. Let's talk about the talent. Yeah,
the talent show. Okay, so the talent competition is where things get good guys. My favorite
dog, the muscle dog manages to deadlift the entire building. And one
bitch give them a fucking eight out of 10. It's crazy. Yeah. These judges are bonkers.
That's so much weight. It's that that dog is not just the strongest dog. The dog is the strongest
organism that has ever existed on earth. And yet eight out of 10. It's wild, especially
lifting the building that he's in. Yeah. Talk about because that should be impossible.
The next, the next talent is Sean Trell, the French dog doing as they describe a seductive
dance.
They do say.
And people lose their fucking minds and she gets a nine out of 10.
Well, they're so horny for this dog story.
You don't understand.
You were there.
Oh, man, I guess.
And then G, the Chinese dog, does this like dance battle
that also kind of turns into a rap, but not really.
And there's magic and there's spears blowing around.
Now, here's, I had to rewind this part
because there's a rap on the soundtrack
and G's mouth is kind of moving,
but it's not exactly timed.
And it's not super clear.
So it's like, is G supposed to be rapping? Where is, and I's mouth is kind of moving, but it's not exactly time. And it's not super clear. So I was like, is she supposed to be rapping?
Or is, but I guess he is.
Yeah, it's just like, and the whole thing, the whole thing ends in a yin yang symbol.
It's pretty, it's pretty cool.
And his, and he's performing with his surprisingly scantily clad trainer.
Everyone else is wearing just regular clothes, regular, everyday clothes, but this trainer is always is in kind of like a soulad trainer. Everyone else is wearing just regular clothes, regular everyday clothes, but this trainer is always
in kind of like a soul caliper character.
Yes, yeah, exactly.
We're in like a martial arts bathing suit
or something like that.
It's a weird choice.
The whole this whole moment is a strange talent.
But it's, and I would say, I'd be like,
gee, pick one lane and stick with it
because you're trying to combine too many things.
Yeah, I don't know.
I still think it was pretty cool.
Okay, and then we got, we delivered this meal to the judges, take Yeah, I don't know. I still think it was pretty cool. Okay.
We deliver this meal to the judges, take one element off the plate.
You got too much.
Yeah, I guess you're right, but at least it's well seasoned.
That's a thing.
The worst thing when they bring it out and it is in fucking season.
Like come on.
No, it's like, look, it's cooked.
It's cooked perfectly.
The seasoning is spot on.
I'm just not sure.
What is this dish telling me?
And the other thing is it's like, if the main element of the dish is the wrap, you got to respect
the wrap.
You got to put more of that has to be the star of the dish.
Okay.
This is a wrap challenge.
And yet you're giving me a martial arts dish with a little bit of wrap in it.
Exactly.
And I've got a docu points no matter how delicious the dish is.
It's not meeting the challenge.
I'm sorry, G, pack your knives and go to the next round.
Well, yeah, G, I didn't like your challenge. I'm sorry, G, pack your knives and go to the next round. Well, yeah.
G, I didn't like your performance.
I loved it.
Okay.
So, Zeus then performs, and his talent is basically hypnotizing everybody in the audience
using his, the lustre of his hair.
Yeah.
Yes.
And he kind of hypnotized everybody.
And he didn't know to them, everybody. And he did them flap themselves,
and making them act like dogs.
It's very sadistic.
And here's, okay, here's an issue that I have with Zeus.
Zeus is convinced he's the best.
He's the best man.
Yeah, well, one, where's Roxanne?
And two, Zeus, that was not okay for you to appear before
all those women as different animals and weather.
And like that.
I was gonna say,
I make them have your babies.
That's not okay. Zeus, you canceled.
Why?
Why a modern pop culture like in this movie
and No Holds Bard is Zeus portrayed as a bad guy
when in Greek mythology,
he's only a good dude, right?
No, that's not even in Greek mythology.
He's often a bad guy.
I think that's something that I admire about Greek.
He's a god's pro.
I don't admire it.
Ancient Greeks, they were like gods.
Yeah, they're just like us, but they're worse.
Like gods are just bigger jerks because they're bigger people.
Where they they don't they don't have truck with our modern
notions of morality.
They're gods.
Look, you'd see a picture of Zeus carrying a big thing, a kitty
litter in the in the parking lot.
And it would say Zeus.
He's just like us.
The gods.
They're no different than we are.
Anyway, Zeus is convinced that he's going to win. Zeus, he's just like us. The gods, they're no different than we are. Anyway, Zeus is convinced that he's gonna win.
He knows he's the best dog.
So why does he have to bother sabotaging Marma Duke?
Hypnotizing the audience,
because his last command to the audience
from his trainer is you're gonna give Zeus a perfect score.
And also, as we're about to see,
that they've got an in with the judges.
There's one judge who's giving every dog zeros,
except for Zeus, who she gives a 100.
And then sheepersley takes the extra zero away
that it's just a 10.
You have to have redundancies, Elliot.
You got to.
That's so many redundancies.
It shows a lack of confidence to me.
So many redundancies.
Yeah, that's true.
But you're right.
I guess in case the hypnotism plan fails,
you've got your person on the inside
and in case that fails,
you can sabotage Marmaduke,
who is already the clumsiest dumbest of the dogs.
In case that fails,
you can just be the prettiest dog already.
Yeah, it's almost like Zeus,
the only reason to sabotage Marmaduke
is if you know Marmaduke is the name of the movie
that you're in.
Otherwise, sabotage G, this amazing dog
that can rap and also do martial arts.
Sabotage the subjective and trial.
Yeah, so speaking of Marmaduke, he is able to re-enter the competition because his family
are his trainers.
And he does this like Wild West themed stunt show where King Tup the Cat who says, where
they're like shooting bullets at him as he is the playing the outlaw black bar
uh... but every time he dodges a bullet he says meow which i thought was very cool
so the s yes so this is playing off earlier we saw there's a game that billy likes to play
with
with marmadouk where he'd ride smart but you can pretend he's a cowboy and king
tutt is an outlaw they're chasing so they do this this stunt show where he's
riding on a marmadouk and there's a full section of this stunt show that is just Billy shooting real bullets at
King Tut as King Tut dodges them
And now Marmaduke and test me out and Marmaduke is just standing there and if I was the judges
I would say disqualified the cat is doing
Yeah, Marmaduke is not doing any work of it, but Marmaduke realizes that I guess because that's when it turns into an epic dance party
It does turn into an epic dance party, which obviously is great.
Everybody's into it.
Even Zeus can't help himself.
He has to dance along despite, you know, despite himself.
And we've all been there, you know, you hear a song where you're like, I hate this
song.
And by the end of the thing, you're like, since you've been gone, you know, or that,
that Saturday, I just going to get it.
What's that, that song from a, no, no no the one uptown funk that's the one.
A down which is an objectively bad song. It's objectively bad song, but you can't help
a dance to it because it taps into the amygdala I guess.
I mean, I get less than said you be gone. I know that Stewart probably just pulled the
first thing out as my kind of pulled the first thing out of my
insult. I mean, it's even done.
So I look at dance song. It's. I mean, it's even done. So I really like a dance song.
It's like, I guess you're right.
Yeah.
But it's a song like William C. A.
Thanks for covering my face.
And I can't I cannot I cannot truck with any insult to that
that great, great diddy.
And the dance.
Great.
You're like that great, great, great.
Great.
A grand grand grand grand grand grand grand grand grand grand grand used to Charleston too since you've been gone. Great. You're like that great, great, great. Great. Great. What's the, what's the word that could possibly do justice to this magnificent?
I wish the Kaiser would go.
So, Marmadookes performance.
Oh, so everybody loves it.
It ends with indoor fireworks in a very small arena.
The fireworks are literally going off in people's faces.
This is, which animals are known for being very cool with. Yeah, animals love fireworks. So, uh, and we, we
were wound this multiple times to make sure, at no point do they show more and more
and more do score. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
there's a standing ovation, but we don't actually know what to score. So because the, because
to give it a, to give it a number of value would be to insults. So less integrity and the beauty of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's, it's why like,
I prefer review sites that like stop giving records or movies like a star rating and instead
are just like, here's what it's all about. Like you make up your own mind. Okay. So,
so we do the final judging. Zeus wins, of course. Uh uh oh, but Marmadook realized that one of
the judges is just one of Zeus's trainers in disguise reveals that and Zeus is disqualified.
Uh oh.
So G wins.
That's crazy.
Okay.
He's not even the name character, but he's magic.
And then Zeus tries to steal the trophy.
And the other movie to be shown in Chinese theaters, I assume, you got to have the Chinese
dog when, yeah.
So Zeus tries to steal the trophy only for Marmadoot to use the magical kick technique that
he had wanted to learn and he was obsessed with.
Wait, did we ever mention that she has telekinesis also?
I mean, I mentioned it said magic a couple of times.
I guess telekinesis is a little different.
Yeah, it's like he is the force.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's never really explained other than the fact that he is genuine, generally Chinese
mystic type.
So it's like that it's just assumed that he can he has magic and control objects from a
far. And instead of removing the judges fake wig, he instead uses his telekinesis to make
a shampoo bottle go over to Marmaduke.
So Marmaduke can what throw it?
So he can trip on it.
It comes off.
It's like a butterfly. That's right. Yeah. So Marmaduke, so Marmaduke can what, throw it, so he can trip on it. It's like a butterfly. That's right, yeah.
So Marmaduke stops, Marmaduke manages to stop Zeus, but in the ensuing chaos, a cameraman
on a platform is about to come crashing down, and Marmaduke pushes Billy out of the way
only to be crushed by the falling cameraman.
What? Marmarduk is dead. Everyone
surrounds him. Bill does a eulogy over Marmarduk's dead body and everyone starts to fucking
cry. So we're just saying this as if he's making it up as he goes along, but this is exactly
what's happening in the movie. Yeah. Even guy is watching this on TV and despite being
covered in bandages like an invisible man, he is crying his lies out, but it turns
out my.
The implication that the invisible man can't cry.
The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the they find it hilarious that the invisible man is naked all the time. And they, I think they have something
to aspire to. You said you said watch. You watch hollow man is what you said you watched
with the guy. Yeah, I showed them all. Oh, man. I said, you got to see the original.
Mm-hmm. Okay. So my kids are like, we thought we were watching the Elizabeth Moss invisible
man. I was like, no, no, no, no, you got to watch them in order. Yeah, it's like too woke for you guys.
So, uh, filled as this eulogy over Marmordek, Marmordek, actually, I'm watching how long
I'm going. This isn't based on the T. S. Eliot poem. Hold on a second. Yeah.
So Marmordek wakes up. Everyone is happy except for Zeus, of course.
And then, uh, so Marmordew wins the day, everybody
loves him. Okay, now we get end credits, guys.
Although speaking of plot threads that aren't resolved, I guess we are to believe that the
trainer just forgives the debt because now he loves Marvadoot, because as we said, Marvadoot
didn't win the big prize. So that is just left hanging.
I mean, we could only assume he's going to get some
kind of sponsorships and they can pay, they can pay that bill. I mean, Marmaduke goes on to
line in the movie. I mean, Marmaduke goes on to become a huge movie star. So, yeah, so
yeah. Speaking as we mentioned, there's like a funky Marmaduke song, which is how these end credits begin until the song changes to a Marmaduke rap by
Pete Davidson.
And it is one of the worst things I've ever heard.
And I can only assume it's some kind of like elaborate fucking troll of Kanye West or something
that he's like, I'm going to do the shittiest rap possible.
And he is going to have to listen to it because he hates me so bad. And he's going to have to listen this whole
fucking thing. And it is the worst guys. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a good, that's a good
theory. I think it is. He approaches this rap with the level of energy that like, I
don't know that I make like ordering something at a fucking shake shack or something.
I don't know.
I mean, to in Pete, in Pete Davidson's defense, how much energy should he bring to the
Marmaduke rap in the end credits the Marmaduke movie?
I was trying to find the lyrics to the Marmaduke rap, which I couldn't find, but I did find
I can get the chords to the Marmaduke rap.
If you want me, oh, yeah, the guitar tablet. And play. Okay. So that was that was Marmadouk. Everybody.
Hire we did it. Yeah.
Well, and wait, wait, and during the credits during the credits, there is a, there's a
series of fake movie posters for Marmadouk movies. He's a, he's a big movie star. And
there's not exactly a end credits scene. There's just a little bit of footage of him eating, I think, but
Watching this in Netflix Netflix anytime the credit start. It's like you want to watch a trailer for another movie, right?
Let me skip right to it. So I had to keep a rewinding in order to finally catch the most almost non-existent end credits scene ever. Thanks Netflix for doing that.
I appreciate it. And it's also brought. I want to point out that all of like the movies in
For the movie posters are all movies there at least 20 years old like there's no
Yeah, new movie that Marvadoo has been so they're like parodies of existing movies. Yeah, it's like jaws is pause, etc
etc
There's a spider spider Marvadoo
I think that's I think there's fast and furious which is a joke that predates the fast and furious movies because that was the name of a while
like I would you road on our cartoon, you know, in the 1950s. So, uh, and arguably inspired
the fast and furious for just, yeah. So yeah, so that's, I will say though, uh, there was
part of me that as the rap was going on was like, well, you
know what, Pete Davidson, I guess, is earning his money here because there's no way that
anyone is enjoying doing this.
And it's a long rap.
It goes on for a while.
Yes.
No, I, I, I, I feel like it's a bit.
I did have that thought that like, wow, they actually convinced him to do this because
I bet Pete Davidson could have put his foot down saying, no, I'm not going to do a rap
about Marmaduke.
They already have a, Marmaduke song.
Yeah.
I mean, but also I have to assume that once you've got Pete Davidson signs to do your Marmaduke
movie, he's a broken shell of a man.
He's going to do whatever you tell him to do.
You know,
Oh, no, he seems like he's doing okay.
His mistake was saying, Hey, yeah, I'll do the voice for that Marmaduke movie.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, final judgments is a good bad movie,
a bad bad movie, a movie kind of like, you know what?
Wait a second, do you think this is why,
do you think this is why Kate Beckinsale was dating him
to get him to do the Mara Duke movie?
Oh, maybe that was it, to get close to Mara Duke.
Must love dog, she says, mm-hmm.
Was she in that? I can't even remember.
I'm going to say I don't probably not.
Anyway, probably not.
Like, look it up.
If you know, scope that shit and you just like,
love, that was Diane Lane was the
humility.
I remember what she would be Davidson David John Q.
Sack.
I think because serendipity was John Q.
Sack Kate Beckett sale.
I that was my six degrees of Marbordouk.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, it makes perfect sense.
Sure, sure.
I get it now.
Anyway, I don't know how I know I don't understand how anyone doesn't make that mistake.
Final judgments. I'm going to say, look, if this, if this occurred way earlier
in our flop house career, when I was less beaten down, I might say, this is a good bad movie
because it is legitimately very strange and like to, for Netflix to put this out with some name actors. Like, it is wild that it is as bad as it is.
But even in 88 minutes, it's just too much.
I would say if you're curious,
maybe watch some highlights.
You have Netflix already.
I'm pretty sure.
Just fast forward through,
watch a little bit, maybe the tsunami,
maybe the farting. I don't know
And then go about your day, but what what do you guys have to say?
Go about your day. Yeah, yeah
First thing in the morning. This is what you do it start the day off right with the little bar. Yeah
I mean, this is a bad bad movie. I mean, I this is obviously I'm not the target demographic
I'm not I don't know what child
some sort of sick child
monstrous freak
But yeah, so no, this is a bad guy. I know it's like some sort of hideous thing of warning
Yeah, slaughtering towards Bethlehem
I'm gonna say I'm gonna say bad bad movie.
This is I didn't find it as as goofy as as Dan did and there were this is one of those
movies where there were many times during it where I was like, I can't I cannot believe
that I'm spending my time watching this. But you know what?
On a holiday weekend on a holiday weekend.
Yeah, for the Flapphouse listeners. This time I'm spending my post Thanksgiving
is is watching this movie. But movie, but I go back and forth
these movies all the time because I'm like,
I don't like that they exist.
At the same time, it's work for people.
Like, they're making money off of it.
Like, there's somebody needed the work that this created.
But on the other hand, like many animated movies,
I'm sure that they push the animators
to deliver things at an unrealistic deadline.
And maybe that's the reason why it looks so crappy, but for a too low budget.
So I don't know, I'm a real mixed, I'm a real mixed bag on this movie, except that I agree
that it's terrible. And I think that the 0.9 rating on letter box just did high. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, generous. Like I, I was at my bar and I was leaving,
and I bumped into a podcast listener, Will, sorry, I couldn't
stay in talk, but I had to leave because I had to run home to watch this thing.
So I missed an opportunity for actual human connection with another person.
And instead I got Marmaduke.
Wow.
I think I think you know, I can only.
I can only.
Oh, that's true.
This is, yeah, this is the real one.
I know will.
I can only congratulate myself.
I'm earning that world's greatest dad mug
by not letting my son watch this movie with me.
Yeah.
Much as I also didn't let him watch the monsters with me,
although he was less interested in that one. I'm looking for a movie.
Oh, I got you.
There's that new foreign film with the time travel.
There's an amazing documentary about queer history on streaming.
Have I told you about this classic where giant robots fight?
Or there's that one that most critics hated, but I thought was actually pretty good.
Oh, I know.
The one with the huge car chase, and then there's that scene where the car chumps over the submarine
Wow, who are you eclectic movie experts? Well, I'm if you why do I'm Drake Clark and I'm Alonso D'Araldy and together
We host the movie podcast maximum film new episodes every week on maximum fun dot orgs
And you actually just walked into our recording booth. Oh weird. Sorry. I thought this was a video store
You seem like a lady with a lot of problems.
Hey, it's John Moe inviting you to listen to Depresh Mode with John Moe, where I talk about
mental health and the lives we live with all kinds of people. Famous writers. David Sederis
welcome to Depresh Mode. Thanks so much for having me. Movie stars. Jamie Lee Curtis, welcome to Dupresh Mode. I am happy to be here.
Musicians.
I am in St. Paul, Minnesota.
I'm talking to Amy Mann.
Great to talk to you.
And song exploters.
Wishing case, here we're welcome to Dupresh Mode.
Thanks so much for having me.
Everyone's opening up on Dupresh Mode.
On Maximum Fun.
Hey, the podcast, the flop house, one you're listening to,
that's the podcast I'm referring to is sponsored,
is made possible in large part by listeners like you
who have joined the Maddenum Fun Network.
Well, but we also get a little bit from sponsors,
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Oh yeah, you're right, sponsors.
It's a serious other thing that I'm trying,
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Uh-uh.
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I think that there are a few plugs including Stewart.
Let's start off with this one.
Yay, so it's that time of year, that's right.
What's the holiday season, baby?
Woo!
And to celebrate, we're going to be doing mainly me and Dan are going to be
doing a little party over on my Twitch channel on Wednesday night, what December 14th at 8
p.m. Eastern Standard Time. And we are going to be hanging out in Dan's kitchen. Dan is
going to be cooking up a feast while I fuck with him. We're going
to be making cocktails. We're going to be goofing around. And we invite you to join us.
My Twitch channel is steward Wellington over at Twitch. And you can also, I'm sure we'll
put a link to it in the show notes for this episode. And it's just going to be, you know,
one hour or so of us hanging out and answering questions and goofing off.
Yeah, if you like the flop house,
but you're like, I wanted to be a cooking show.
Now's your chance.
Exactly.
The thing is I've been pushing Dan
to do more cooking based content
on various platforms and he fights me.
So this is my, this me tricking him to do it
by this hand.
And maybe a special guest might show up,
special guest might be Elliot.
Possibly if we can get the technology to work, that'll be an exciting cooking show.
First, Minoff, the cook house.
Yeah, it's, you know, it's just a free little extra show as a holiday.
Thank you to listeners.
Anything else? The plug, guys.
I have an, I have a, a temporary
de plug, unfortunately.
I've been mentioning on the last few episodes that, uh, my new comic book,
maniac of New York, don't call it a comeback.
Number one comes out December 7th.
I've received the unfortunate news that the publication is being pushed
slightly, uh, to a later date.
Oh, no, don't know when yet.
So do, if you go on December 7th and looking at the comic book store and they don't have
this book, do not get mad, do not get sad, just stay glad because it will be coming at some
point.
It'll still be rad.
It'll still be rad.
You know at some point when it's coming out, but that publication date is TBD, which means
to be Dan. So Dan, I guess you're the publication
date. Congratulations. Oh, thanks. Which means you're my date to the publication party. That's
when we have a party next to the printing press where it's being printed. It's very loud.
It hurts your ears, but you're my date. You gotta come with me. Okay. So why don't you wear that
slinky backless number? You know, I like so much.
Okay.
I gotta fight it.
I mean, the printing press is hot. You're going to want no back.
I want that.
I want that.
Just don't back up onto the
press.
Yeah.
Of course.
You don't want to get burns back.
I mean, it's a general, it's a general, just good, good idea.
It does not touch a printing press when it's working.
Uh, is that it?
Or should we move? Can we move on? I think we can move on. Okay. Uh, is that it? Oh, should we move?
I think we can move on.
Okay.
Uh, this next part of the show is letters from listeners like you, like us.
Uh, well, I mean, you're not, I guess you, do you listen to the show?
Sometimes.
Okay.
Well, I guess you wrote a letter and maybe I would read it, but, uh, mostly not.
Uh, what if I write one right now, do your Dan, this is Elliot, your co-host on the
show. I have a question for you and the other flopper
So you won't take it now all right. I'll send you my letter off the air then I guess yeah, okay
Well, this first one is gonna be a really good question Matthew last name with help by the way
I want to I want to say nor I I'm not very good at a lot of the time
I try and get the letters out to-
And by it you mean everything?
Yeah, I try and get the letters out.
Just get a lot of things.
To Stuart and Elliott a little bit before we actually taped
so they can think about any questions that may be in it.
I forgot this time because I was on break and too busy
not doing anything.
Dan was so not busy that he forgot to do it.
I think that people understand.
I mean, like you have like a schedule.
He's in vacation brain, dude.
Sure, sure.
I mean, there's something that I was once told by a famous person.
You get better service in a busy restaurant.
Yeah.
So when there's a lot going on, it's easier to stay on task.
Yeah, I'll, I apologize that, you know, maybe these won't be as I haven't given enough time
to reflect, but we'll see. The first question is Stuart Nelliet. Can you write me a five paragraph
essay explaining this thing? Yeah. Oh, right now, of the time I head, oh, okay. Wow.
This is from Matthew Lasting with Held, who writes a hoi peach. I have to assume Matthew let's go famous for sending out books about free money.
Oh, does he have a suit that looks like money?
He has a suit with question marks.
Oh, like a riddler.
Oh, no, maybe it's, oh, no, maybe it's money on it.
You know, it's question marks.
It's question marks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe to him questions are money.
Yeah.
You know, you know, the old saying you can't, it takes questions questions are money. Yeah. You know what you're all saying?
You can't, it takes questions to make money.
Yeah.
This is from, because the question is usually, how do I make money?
Yeah, again, Matthew says, oh, hey, peaches, I had a great time listening to your reading.
Oh, he's the ship's captain.
Episode about the monsters, because I'm slightly younger than you guys.
I watched my old monsters returns on TV land rather than Nick at night. And those days the channel ran promos for the monsters that poked
fun at the show's premise by way of explanatory lyrics set to the tune of the show's theme song.
On reflection, I realize that my memories of these promos are much more vivid than my memories
of the show itself. Which brings me into my question, what are some examples of movie advertising
that struck you as particularly clever or memorable? This could include trailers, posters,
or anything else. Bonus points, if it was much better than the movie deserved.
Floppy years, Matthew last name withheld. I want a Mordecai, right? Mordecai, where all
the cast and the most ashes.
People want the ashes. People want crazy for that little mustache, just mustache,
feeble, sweat the nation. Yeah. This actually, you know, this was a lot of
the movie. The mustache fever. Now, now, there's the hit song for Mordecai.
Yeah. Uh-huh. This is a movie that was made before I was around. I mean, I'll look it up.
I was around, you know, look it up. The actual date, 1978, okay, the year of my birth, magic.
I did not see it at the time, but this is a, like, famously a television ad that is
scarier than the movie.
I would argue, my magic's a fun movie.
Good at the-
It's fine.
It's okay, movie.
Yeah.
Yeah. It's performance William Goldman wrote it, But the look up the magic TV ad and see how
white traumatized generation. That's the one I thought of.
Yeah. That's a good one. That is a much it promises a much scarier movie than
that then would actually results. Yeah. I similarly this won't come as a surprise
since I've now written
three volumes of a comic book roughly based on the promise of this ad, third volume, of course,
coming out TBD. The Jason Takes Manhattan advertisements, they just promised Jason taking Manhattan
in a way that he didn't in the movie Jason Takes Manhattan. And so I mean, spoiler, but that's okay.
VJson takes Manhattan and so I mean, spoiler, but that's okay. Spoiler, the movie's never a good.
But the those ads really like when I was younger, yeah, they really burrowed into my head.
There's a, I feel like there's a, I'll think of some other ones.
Stewart, what else have you got?
Oh, man, I got to do something other than Mordekin.
You know, if you want to go with the joke answer?
Sure.
I was just going to remember this story that I wasn't going to give you a hard time for
once.
Yeah.
This one's from Duncan last name with hell.
Duncan Idaho.
Duncan Hines.
Yeah.
Like, that's crazy.
Duncan Idaho.
Duncan Hines.
You put Hines on Idaho potatoes. Oh, my Lord.
Well, well, we're through the looking glass everybody. What?
I thought you were going to construct a name called Hines Idaho. And I was like, I don't know what that means.
Yeah, that's that's that's Dunkin, Dunkin Idaho is German cousin, Hans Idaho, yeah. Yeah. Against my better judge.
Why do I not also become a giant kind of clone worm?
Mm hmm.
Against my better judgment,
I've continued to watch the Marvel movies.
And this result has been steadily driven insane
with confusion, with the confusion
that's now risen with the whole
multiverse concept.
I can no longer tell which
quote version of a character it is I'm seeing. And I frankly can't see how any action that
takes place in this movie has any consequence since it can be easily retconned by bringing
back dead characters or objects or worlds. I know the point. Yeah, I know the point is probably
just to stop thinking and watch the glory things go boom, but I thought since you guys seem to have a very special set of comic-related skills,
I'd put the question to you, how do I make sense of this nonsense in my mind?
And if you were in charge of the MCU, what would you sign post-of-euros to help them
with what they're saying?
I.e.
Would one parallel universe have a prefix to their titles like Dark World or something?
Well, not that. they already use it.
Much love wasting brain space in Australia at Duncan.
I mean, my response is what Elliott has already hinted at.
This is just what comics are.
They've been retconned so many times.
You just can't get like the longer something goes on, the bigger the world gets, the more
unwieldy.
So you can't like that stuff's all just fun stuff to have in the back of your head if you want it,
but you should live in the moment, dude.
Well, it's, and also, I think it's, I think it's, dude. Yeah.
I think that's a big part of it. Live in the moment, dude. I think part of the problem is,
I think there is a real issue, I think with people who are not used to those concepts.
Yeah. Now being confronted with them. And the movie is, I agree, not people who are not used to those concepts, now being confronted with
them.
The movie is, I agree, not doing enough of a job of differentiating those multiverses.
In the comics, there's always the evil universe.
There's the version where somebody else has the costume, a different member of the supporting
cast has become the hero.
They've hinted at that a little bit, but I think part of the problem is that, especially
in, like, multiverse of madness, a bunch of those multiverse characters that we're seeing
rely on knowledge from previous iterations of these characters.
Like, if you're watching Dr. Strange in Multiverse of Manus, you only know things from Marvel
movies.
It's not going to be fun to you that Patrick Stewart comes out to the X-Men theme song
from the 1990s in the yellow, floaty wheelchair.
It's not going to be fun to you that read Richard's The Character you have never encountered
before shows up.
This is the smartest man in the world being played by John Krizynski.
I mean, it's fine, but I think that there's a level of this concept that they, I think
they are not doing a great job of like making the
most of it in a simple way that doesn't require a lot of extra knowledge, but you're right,
this is what being a comics fan is all about.
And what's amazing to me is that so the Marvel Universe has existed for 14 years in the movie
world with the first Iron Man.
And in 14 years, they've managed to get to the point that Marvel, that the Marvel Comics
Universe took 30 years to get to.
The 1990s, when there were too many books, too many different versions of characters,
the continuity was too thick,
and people started losing interest
because the overall quality was going down,
and there was just too much to keep track of.
And it's like, oh man, movies are so much more efficient
than comic books, and took them half as long
to get to a point of incomprehensibility
to the casual viewer.
But I think that if I was in charge of the Marvel movies,
what I would do is like simplify it quite a bit.
I think they're forgetting that one of the things
that made them so successful was getting us invested
in the characters before the characters started interacting
and getting all put together.
And that the first kind of nod to Easter egg nod to someone,
is that when Captain America's Shield shows up for like a second?
Was it Iron Man 2 or something?
Those things were handled as like, wink, you don't need to know about this,
but wink whereas now when Star Fox and Pip the Troll show up at the end of
Eternal's, it's incomprehensible.
Or like when, like I was saying, stuff with like the Patrick Stewart shows up, not even as the
Professor X from the X-Men movies, but as the Professor X from the cartoon show from the 90s.
It's just so, you're in the thicket when you could just be not putting as much plot weight on that
and not treating it like each movie is the important thing in each movie is not the plot or what
happens with the characters, but instead what new character from the Marvel universe is going to be introduced. I feel like now the one side, it was like one side found out that
Namor was in O'Connor forever. Part of the interest in seeing it went down for me because I was like,
okay, well, I know the next building block that's being introduced. That's, you know what, I don't
I don't trust that those movies are going to give me like a full character story anymore. Maybe
that's a bad example.
I'm seeing it and I heard it's good.
Yeah, I know.
Well, I liked what kind of forever quite a bit, but I wouldn't, name more, like I don't
care so much because he's like given full villain weight, you know, like sure, introduce
him in this as the new villain and then he can be in future movies.
The thing that more people have had problems with, I didn't have so much because I liked performance, but like they're introducing the character of Iron Heart in it as well. And
I think the new thing with these Marvel movies is let's introduce a character that's
going to then have their own thing as a soft-loaning character in a established thing. And I understand
the thinking about that, especially when it's these characters
that have less general name recognition.
But if you look back at like Guardians of the Galaxy,
like they just introduced them in their own movie,
gave them their own time and just trusted
that the thing is if it's a good enough movie,
then people will love the characters by the end of it.
I'm gonna go back even farther than
if you go back to every single movie before iron man almost every single movie introduced new characters in that movie.
Yeah, got the audience to care about exactly and then told a story with that like the idea that you need to introduce especially now that the Marvel universe is such a brand you can just release a Marvel movie and I don't think you need to.
just release a Marvel movie and I don't think you need to do it interlocking Jigsaw style. But the fact that it's the thing I've talked about before that I'm always amazed about
the original Star Wars is like when Star Wars a new hope came out and it was just called
Star Wars, they didn't call it a new hope because they didn't know they're going to make
there weren't like a new ignorance.
Exactly.
Well, there were a new nerds for their time about Star Trek and I'm blazing it on the air
anymore.
The we only have the same three seasons or whatever to look over and over again.
But when that movie came out, it's not like people were like,
oh great, the new Luke Skywalker movie is out
or like the new Han Solo movie.
They're just like, what is this movie?
And the character's gonna introduce to you.
And within two hours, you're like, I love these characters.
I hope that they're able to defeat the Empire.
And then I hope there's a ton more of these movies
and then that they kind of lose sight
of what the movies are about. And then they kind of become offensive
at a certain point, just in the way they deal with the audience and with their love for
the characters. And then that a bigger company buys this property and then makes too much
of it. And it proliferates like a cancer. And like that star wars metastasizes until it
becomes unpleasant. I can't wait.- But eventually they'll make a TV show
that everybody seems to universally like, so it's all worth it, you know.
Exactly, but that magic of that movie is that it's just a movie
that tells a story and you love it.
And Marvel could be doing more of that, especially now
that they have the audiences buy in that they like Marvel stuff.
But I agree, like Guardians of the Galaxy,
that's the smartest thing about that is that even though at the end of that Thor movie, they did do that thing where
they go to the collector for some reason. But the, even Guardians of the Galaxy, there's like,
hey, let's introduce these characters. They're fun. Let's have an adventure. Okay, the adventure's
over. Goodbye. And that's a nice way to do movies. Yeah, you don't need to. So I would say,
if you're having trouble, here's the, and here's the ultimate thing. If you're finding the Marvel movies confusing and complicated
and you're having trouble keeping track of who's who in them, there's thousands, if not hundreds
of thousands of other movies that you can watch that stand on their own. You don't have to watch them.
If you're having trouble, remind yourself, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
No, that's true. Also, well, there's, that's true. Also, I had a conversation with John Hodgum recently where he was like, you don't have
to watch, you don't have to watch Ms. Marvel.
It's fun, but it's not essential.
And I was like, John, none of them are essential.
We can live without any of them.
And so I think the, I think the Marvel, what I think what will fix the Marvel movies is
if the audience starts to understand they don't need to service the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
And they kind of say, well, I'll come back and watch some of these when you get back to the level of excitement and thinking about it and thoughtfulness and care that you put into the first two, maybe three phases of this thing or maybe two, what phase are they on now?
Is it phase four that they're in or phase three that they're in now?
That if it makes sense.
One of them.
It doesn't make it.
But I can see that.
The phases are made up.
Yeah, that's true.
It's all made up.
Yeah, well, I know that.
It is all made up.
Even the good ones are made up, Dan.
They're not based on our true story.
And even the reality is the story that we write day by day.
So that I think if you break yourself out of the prison of feeling like, oh, I owe
it to see all these things. I'm one of the greatest decisions I ever made in my life was
when I didn't go see Man of Steel in the theaters because I was like, I've got to go see
this movie, but I know I'm not going to like it. And I was like, wait a minute, I don't
have to go see this movie. If I know I'm not going to like something or even that there's
something I'm going to like more than this, why don't I do that instead? And I never looked back and I never saw a man of steel.
And I just knowing how much Stewart didn't like it
has been a joy forever.
No, it is true.
Like to break it out of just this,
like I think that as a human being,
sometimes I get trapped in in ruts
where I don't like I'm doing things
without really examining why.
Like if there's a thing that you're thinking you're dreading
or isn't giving you the joy that you think it should,
you know, you can take a break from it,
maybe come back later, your passion might reignite,
but you don't have to do something else,
do something that you enjoy.
Even this podcast.
Yeah, I should probably keep, you know, your membership.
And then I'll keep on that. In fact, I think more.
But I feel like there's a number of things about being a nerd
that used to be kind of badges of honor
and have now, when nerds were outsiders
and now they have infected society at large,
superiority complexes, resentment of other people,
anger, feeling left out of stuff,
even when you're at the center of culture.
And I think one of the things that's infected modern culture is completism.
As a nerd, I always feel the urge to like, I like this author, I better read every single
book they've ever written.
I like this movie.
I better watch every single movie in the series or every episode in this TV show.
And I think if we can break the idea that completism is good or virtue or even necessary
and we can just treat entertainment as stuff that we can dip into whenever we want, then
media will be healthier in general.
One thing that my therapist told me that I found very helpful was she said, just ask
yourself, what is going to make me happy today?
And that's like a powerful idea. You don't have to construct these plans and be
trapped by what you think is necessary. Sure, obviously do the things you need to do to
live and be responsible. But also think about today and what will make you happy. Don't
feel like a weird obligation about your entertainment. See your free time.
Yeah.
And, and because, because if you do,
you might make a bad decision and suddenly end up 15 years later,
watching the animated Marma Duke,
when you could be watching something that would bring you happiness.
Yeah.
And instead, you're, you're, you're just trying to shield your children
from Pete Davidson farting and shitting in a trophy.
I mean, to be clear, it's not Pete Davidson shitting in a trophy.
What in one?
That shit.
I have to say that happens in his Judd Appetite movie.
Yeah.
Speaking of Judd Appetite and the reason that this is a connection will come to light later.
Let's talk about recommendations, movies that we kind of like.
I love that you're like speaking of Jet Aptow.
Now let me put that segue on hold.
Well, I just want to clarify ahead of time, you like to prevent you from jumping on me
as you are want to do to be like that.
No, no, no, no, no, but I know exactly.
I think I know exactly what you're getting at.
Because of a conversation we had earlier outside of this past.
That's true.
Recommendations, movies that we liked that actually might be worth your time and perhaps
your movie going dollar.
I saw the Fable Bins recently and I saw it at a, it was a guild screening where Tony
Kushner and Steven Spielberg were there being interviewed by Judd Appetown
as the moderator.
I will get back to that.
Billy, it's favorite film maker.
Move it down to Judd Appetown.
Won't we take me to Dunin and Judd Appetown?
Won't you take me to Dunin and Judd Appetown?
It's a town that's roughly 20 minutes too long.
Uh, I, yeah, I really likes the Fable men's. I was kind of a little leery of it because
sometimes movies about the magic of the movies, you don't like magic of cinema, magic of
cinema movies could be a little self-congratulatory and schmaltsy and you're
like, um, cinema paradiso more like cinema parade, cinema parade, cinema parade, dickish.
I mean, there are a lot of stars.
Some's down.
There are a lot of wonderful movies about movies, but it also can be a license to sing in
in the rain, more like stinking in the rain.
And don't don't you, Darnie, Darko, more like Donny Dorco.
I think it's Donny, Darko's not exactly a movie about that.
You understand what I'm saying.
You're like making fun of me, but I think you know exactly what I'm talking about.
And Spielberg, who is a filmmaker of great skill and who's made, what maybe wonderful
films, also can indulge his sentimental side.
Certainly.
Cinnamon mental side.
I've seen minority report. It's both a middle side, certainly. Cinemamental side.
I've seen minority report.
It's both a middle. What a sentimental movie.
But I also think that Spielberg is a filmmaker that in a weird way,
like Audrey bought this up recently, I think she's right that like he's become so big.
He circled around to being like underrated in a way where people are like dismissive of him because he's.
You know the great crowd please or whatever I mean even though he's done like a lot of weird stuff in the latter half of his I think it's a combination of him becoming the establishment favorite one I think you're right one someone becomes universally acclaimed then there's a backlash against them. Much as Martin Scorsese has been backlash now
for daring to have an opinion about movies
that people on the internet don't like,
that how dare he, how dare he,
how dare this man who's dedicated his life to cinema,
how dare he have a movie.
How many of them are only his own movies,
but like world cinema, getting in front of people.
How dare you?
And preserving, there's a reason that we have
a viewable copy
of Vertigo and it's and it's and more attractive because of his efforts. I'm sorry. How many of
see of Martin Scorsese's movies have a dead pool in them? Thank you.
Good point. He's almost none of them. Yeah. But yeah, that's and also that's even
Spiroberg in the latter half of his career has made up. He's been he's been he's still an
incredibly prolific filmmaker and his movies are not always at the high average
that he achieved.
Yeah.
Well, that's why people start to underrate him.
Yes, but that being said, this, uh, this was probably my favorite movie of his, uh,
going back to at least Lincoln, maybe cat, maybe earlier, maybe catch me if you can.
I, I really enjoyed it I
And it is far more unsparing than you would expect like them the trailers make it like focus on the magic of cinema
Shmultz, but it is much more actually kind of a
Clear-eyed excavation of some of the more painful moments in his
upbringing and I kind of admired how honest it was, how open-hearted it was to a bunch of like
flawed people from his youth, including his parents, primarily his parents.
And I liked it quite a bit.
And I, to get, circle back around to Judd Appetale, I enjoyed the part in the Q&A where Tony
Kushner was talking about how he was worried that Seth Rogan was going to come in.
You know, he's a supporting actor in the movie.
He was going to come in.
He was going to do a bunch of improv because, you know, Tony Kushner's a writer, a very respected writer, Angel's in America,
many other things. He was like, oh, Seth Ruggins get a comment and improvise all over it.
And Seth came in and was like, oh, this is great. I can do it as written. I don't have to,
I don't have to make it funny. Like, it's a great script as written. And I'm like, they're
like, jet apatos right there on the stage, man.
You know what a slap in the face.
But to be to be to jet out of
toast. I'm used to I'm used to being presented pages of shit.
Yeah, that I have to put us a gloss on.
Well, to to Appetown's credit, he immediately jumped in and was like,
yeah, he's used to say some of my shit.
Yeah, I mean, jet out of the funny.
For all the things that I don't, I feel like I don't love a jet
app, it has worked, but I feel like he's never been a guy who's going to put on ears and
be like, I'm just as good as Tony Kushner, the author of Angels in America.
He's a very good spirit.
I'm just as good as the man who made E.T.
You know, yeah, he was a very good moderator.
It was a fun time and the movie movie's great.
So go out and see it.
Uh, yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing it.
I am going to recommend what is currently my favorite movie the year.
I'm going to recommend Bones and All, the new Luka Guadaguino movie.
And you know me, I'm a big Lucas Stan.
Uh oh, I love all his movies.
I'm a super freak for it.
I would devour the...
Or the Luka Guano.
Yep.
You watch Luka, the Pixar movie, under the misapprehension that it looked like.
Daring.
Is that tilled as wittin' in makeup?
What's going on?
So, yeah.
The maker looks like a CGI character.
It's a stounder.
She's incredible.
So bones and all is kind of like an outsider love story set in the 80s, where these two kids who just happen to be cannibals,
managed to find some connection and they are fine and young.
One of them is to the gentleman and it's finer a younger time being.
He will get old eventually.
It is a, it is a beautiful movie.
It is a fucking gross movie.
And it's also a super sad movie.
I read a, I read an interview with Luca Guadaguino over at a film freak central where the
interviewer Walter Shaw described Luca Guadaguino's movies as having a desperate romanticism.
And I think this movie totally exemplifies that. This like yearning
for connection, and it uses the scenery and kind of backdrop of the American Midwest as
kind of like a, like a perfect palette for this. And yeah, it's great. I found it very
moving. There's also a, well, very unexpected, but very thematically appropriate sequence where Timothy
Shalame dances around to the song, and lick it up by kiss, which it was very welcome.
So yeah, I love it.
It's great.
And speaking of a late period, Spielberg, Mark Reiland says it.
Mark Reiland is incredible.
Yeah.
Always good.
And it's great.
Two thumbs up.
Elliot, your turn.
Hey, guys, what would you do if a life-changing Yeah, always good. It's great. Two thumbs up.
Elliott, your turn.
Hey guys, what would you do if a life-changing amount of cash literally fell into your lap
one night?
Would you become so determined to hold onto it that you'd embark on a trail of destruction?
You see, recommend the joyster's fucking millions.
That's the joyst.
Lizovitz Scott makes in Too Late for Tears, a 1949 film war directed
by Byron Haskin and written by Roy Huggins, creator of the Rockford Files Maverick and the
fugitive.
Lizabeth's Jane Palmer is hell-bent on achieving the post-war ideal of financial security,
and she doesn't care who she has to kill or kiss to get it.
But is this miracle money merely a harbinger of her own doom?
It's a film war, so probably, but find out for sure by watching the
enjoyably tojury too late for tears currently streaming on to be.
Wow, that was nice and tight. Yeah, that was nice and tight. Did you write them like?
I'm like, my long maybe I wrote it down ahead of time because I know I can get pretty
rambly and loose. Well, much like what Marmaduke put into that trophy sometimes my recommendations.
Oh, yeah.
That's fair.
Yeah.
This has been great before we go.
I want to have been I want to mention yet again, in case people skip over the stuff in
the middle where we are our promos Stewart.
Yeah, we're doing a we're doing a Twitch stream.
Yeah.
The end and with special guest Elliott.
Hopefully we're going to do a Twitch stream over at my channel, Stuart Wellington, on December 14th. It's a Wednesday night at 8pm
Eastern Standard Time, where we're going to be cooking up a storm, having some drinks, answering
questions goofing around. Please join us. And I also wanted to remind people that the sexy xenomorph contest is still going on that is to do
a music video for the song sexy xenomorph by a producer out Smith and the three of us.
The song of the fall.
The contest rules are available on the website under the mustard episode and show notes.
I'll try and put them also separately on a blog section as well.
But if you want to be part of that, get your entry in,
put it on YouTube, email us about it before new years.
Again, all the rules are on the website.
And I want to thank
our network maximum fun. Go over to maximumfund.org. We'll look at all the great podcasts they have
there. And then once you're done looking at them, listen to one of them. And also thank you.
It's more of an audio meeting.
You can get more of an audio thing. But, you know, yeah. And then I also wanted to thank Alex Smith, the aforementioned Alex Smith
who did sexy scene more, but more importantly, for us at least is our great producer and
puts all this stuff together.
And he's like a good friend of mine.
He was my best man in my wedding, Dan.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm saying for the, the entity, the flop house, that's how listeners know him.
But anyway, for the flop house, that's how listeners know him. But anyway, for the flop house,
I've been Dan McCoy. Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Ellie Kalen.
See ya. Ruff, ruff. Way to tie it together. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Now, how about guys, how about if I just drop in and I'm not there the whole time?
He'll be like, uh...
What, David, are we dropping by to sing a little Drup-A-Boy?
Exactly, and that's what I'll do.
Heh heh heh.
A terrible song. Anyway.
Just because someone has no gifts to bring, Dan is not interested in their song.
Yeah.
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