The Flop House - Ep. #399 The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Episode Date: July 1, 2023

Is this the most popular, highest-grossing movie we've ever done? Possibly! We're too lazy to put in the legwork to check. Why don't YOU do it, for a school project about statistics or economics or so...me shit. Anyway, the point is, we used the "or CRITICAL flop" loophole (42 on Metacritc) so we could watch The Super Mario Bros. Movie. Don't at us. Or do, whatever, we're not your dad.Wikipedia page for The Super Mario Bros. MovieMovies recommended in this episode:Women Talking (2022)We Are Who We Are (2020)Larks on a String (1969)Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 On this episode we discuss the Super Mario Brothers movie. It's me, movie. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop pass, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kaelin, that's right. Let a rev up on my own name. I just couldn't wait to tell you, but I had to wait because I needed to get up to speed. And now that I'm up to speed, let's speed on over to the next speedy part of this speed podcast. Dan, we're
Starting point is 00:00:53 talking about speed today, right? No, we're not. Elliot, we don't have time for all this rev up talk. I have something important to tell people right at the top of the show. Oh, wonderful. And that is a reminder. We announced it last episode, but you know what? Some of you, for some reason, do you listen to the minis? We can work on that. We can talk about it, but anyway, what we got to remind you of, we're doing a whole slate
Starting point is 00:01:13 of streaming shows. We're kind of calling it flop TV, at least for now, but they'll probably stick because we're lazy. And there's a whole, there's a theme of these streaming shows. It's Flop House All Stars, some of the most referenced or requested or movies that loom large in Flop House lore are going to be on this. And what is this? It's a whole season of slightly shorter live streams.
Starting point is 00:01:41 It's not one of our big full live streams where we, you know, do like each do three presentations like in a live show. We're going to take it up. Not a full three hour flop house to pop in, hell's to pop in, uh, uh, uh, bananza, but in fact, a regular monthly live television show version of the pop house, right? Yeah. Yeah, we're going to try and keep it to about an hour. Uh, and we're going to do six of these things.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Over six months, it'll be the first Saturday of every month except for in September because of Labor Day and also just to be confusing to you guys. But mostly at the first Saturday of the month, we're going to be doing these live shows. The slate is as a beastmaster too, through the portal of time. Classic. Cool world. Yes. In October, there's a double feature, hot dog, the movie, hamburger, the motion picture.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Delicious. Over the top, ballistic, ex versus sever, and Nuki. That's going to be running through August through January. We're going to be between these. Why are we watching Newke? And for each of those, it's going to be fun. It's one a month, except for that double feature. It's not like that was the first episode that Dan just talked about. Dan, is there a way that someone could say get a season pass to this whole slate of shows? Yeah, you know, this is an experiment. We're going to, we're going to see what happens.
Starting point is 00:03:05 You can get a, a ticket for an individual show for seven bucks. In case you're only interested in cool world, you can't see anything else. You got to hear our take on cool world, but hate our take on Beastmaster 2. Seven bucks buys you that cool world. Too many parents. You've been wanting, but if you want to watch the whole season of shows, if you think
Starting point is 00:03:25 that you want to see them all, that's a $35 price tag, and that's like getting one show for free. So that show, Newkie. Anyway, maybe we don't advertise that. That's what I think is a bonus. I've run through this pretty fast or as fast as I could, not that fast, but there's not like you might have machined it, Dan. Yeah, no, we'll fix it in post.
Starting point is 00:03:50 I'm just saying, if you're curious about more information, you can go to either the flop house dot simple takes dot com or tiny url dot com slash flop house live, whichever one is easier for you to remember. Read them both. Read them both again. Read them both again. Yeah, the flop house dot symbol ticks dot com or tiny URL dot com slash flop house live. You can check out more information, maybe get a clear summary because it's not just me rambling and maybe buy a ticket or a season pass. But anyway, that's enough promotion right up at the top.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Yeah, what do we do on this spot? This is other than promote other products related. I mean, if every if every if every if every there was a time to do promotional stuff up top it's when we're doing the Super Mario Brothers movie, which is essentially a movie advertisement for a video game. But Dan, yeah, what else do we do on this movie? I was saying this movie, this is not a movie. This is a podcast, you're listening to it in your ears. It's not a movie you're mind. That's a book on tape. If you're not seeing any pictures in front of you, don't worry that is not either a malfunction of the podcast or of your eyes. This is a podcast, not a movie, anyway. Yes. It's also not moving
Starting point is 00:05:04 pictures, the rush album. I'm sorry if that's what you thought you were listening to right now. Or don't do dire straits also, anyway. Maybe it's a dire straits album, not a rush album. I don't know. Hey, this is a rush album. I don't know what you're talking about. This is a rush album.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Cast. Let's stop talking about dad rock and start talking about what we do on this podcast, which is we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. A movie that is either a commercial flop, which was this was not possible. No, this is a huge hit. Like this has got to be in the top five money makers of things that we've covered. It's got to be. It's got to be.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Yeah, it made $1.3 billion. It grossed $1.3 billion. Yeah. I think that we've covered. It's got to be huge. Yeah, it made $1.3 billion, gross, $1.3 billion. Yeah. It's the third highest grossing animated film of all time after Frozen 2 and the Lion King remake. So just nothing but top quality hit on the top of the highest grossing animated film.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Yeah, it's a real fair talk. Take that, the talk of Mia Zaki. Just get your head away up your ass. I guess you should have taken Noseca and then redone it in CGI that looked a little real. Number four, Frozen. I think that's the first time on the list of high-scroasing animated films before you get a quality film. Is that number four, Frozen?
Starting point is 00:06:17 Then of course it's Incredibles too, so what are you going to do about that? Hey, I- It's just, it's no cradibles. Number six. It's not incredible. But then Dan, your favorite is number six. Minions at number six. And you got, wait, guess which Toy Story movie is the top highest-grossing Toy Story movie of all time? I'm going to get my ear or some shit, the worst one. You're right, Toy Story Four. gonna get my ear or some shit the worst one. You're right toy story for anyway. So huge hit. The Super Mario Brothers movie. Huge hit. And this is this is a movie it is I'm not going to do the summary today, but I will say my my mission statement in talking about it today is to treat
Starting point is 00:06:59 it as a movie that is both somehow incredibly generic as seen by the title, which is not even Super Mario Brothers the movie, but the Super Mario Bros. movie, like a product you would get on the shelf somewhere when you don't want to pay for the name brand, a Super Mario Bros. movie. But also this movie, it feels like if you did a sketch on a 90s sketch comedy show where they're making a Super Mario Bros. movie and they showed the trailer of it, maybe in early 2000s, a sketch comedy show, it would be this movie, how it's like Luigi, someday will be two plumbers, but then people take us seriously, whoa, we're in the mushroom
Starting point is 00:07:34 world to get help. We'll have to go to the Donkey Kong country, like everything that happens in this movie feels like a parody of a Super Mario Brothers movie. I'll let her just get the fucking summer. I'm playing the podcast faster. a parody of a Super Mario. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, hates eating mushrooms, but he has to eat mushrooms. That was a joke and not sort of. Well, it's a piece of character business.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Yeah, like an ironic commentary on the thing we all knew walking into the theater, I guess. But, but Stuart, Stuart, it's your turn. You're going to be a Stuart Mario brother today, or a stupor? I've been knighted. A stupor Mario brother? A super stu-we-o brother? I think Alex was closest, but I like Dan's better. I've been knighted a super Mario brother. Super studio brother. I think aliens is closest, but I like dance better. I was trying to compliment you with that.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Yeah, I'm a super studio. Yeah. Here's my first studio studio. You're either a studio or you're a WASDUEG, which one would you prefer to be? WASDUEG. So, one of the interesting things. Yeah, before we get into the summary, I want to point out the fact that the two characters are
Starting point is 00:08:49 Mario and Luigi for the vast majority of the movie Mario voiced by Chris Pratt doing a perfect pitch perfect Italian accent. Yeah, let's talk about this because like there was a lot of outcry and Jimmy Frank what? Because Mario, I mean, like, if you're looking for Italian-American representation,
Starting point is 00:09:11 like Mario is like the most comical. Well, it's not like the original voice that all the Nintendo fans were mad was not going to be in the movie. He's, I don't think he's Italian either. The guy goes, it's Samir Mario. Yeah. So this is a weird, I don't know, this is a weird bit about rage. I don't think this is the, the same as not getting, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:09:29 like of Scarlett Johansson playing an Asian character or what not. You know, the issue, the issue I think is partly more that just Chris Pratt is just such a go to guy. And then the character becomes a Chris Pratt character where he's kind of like a loser doof, you know. I feel like they should have gone with noted Italian American actor James Conn to do the voice. I mean, James Conn, I think I died. But the time the movie was in production. I definitely get the Chris Pratt. Also not Italian.
Starting point is 00:09:56 What? I hate to break it to you. He is in the Godfather, but he is also not Italian. Yeah. I get the Chris Pratt overload, but I have to say I will say this. Dan, did you get the new Chris Pratt overload album? It's crazy. Oh man, it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:10:11 It's nothing but bangers. I understand there's overload. I understand that people are suspicious about like his personal views, when not going. I will say that. Also how do you get so buff so fast? Chris Pratt however, is when you're doing celebrity casting for an animated movie, I would say he is a pretty good voice actor. In the way that some other people in this movie, I'm like, like on your Taylor joy, I think
Starting point is 00:10:39 is a great actor in live action things. I think as a voice actor, there's very little that is being added. Whereas I think Chris Pratt, you know, through this Lego movie, like he's pretty good at doing this kind of thing. That's, I will, I will Dan him with that big phrase. So what I was literally talking about. So the 21st century, so Dan said it first, Chris Pratt, the 21st century male blank.
Starting point is 00:11:03 I mean, yeah Pratt, the 21st century male blank. I mean, rather than a lot of Pratt over a bunch of voice actors like they used to before Shrek happened, but yes. Does it's not? I don't think anyone is going to be being like, I can't wait. Well, I can't wait to see Seth Rogan and Keegan Michael Key, and Anian Taylor, George Laysby. It's that these words.
Starting point is 00:11:22 That being said, Jack Black as Bowser is such incredible home run. That is such a fantastic choice. So yeah, that's a thumbs up. I mainly just want to point out that Mario Luigi, most of the movie Mario refers to his brother Luigi is just Lou, and I found it very striking. His name's Luigi. I mean, I feel like just for branding purposes, well, dust man. I'm sorry, Stewart, I didn't realize you were literally sort of in the middle of that thought.
Starting point is 00:11:47 No, it's interesting. The interrupt did has become the interruptur. Interesting. It seems to have learned well. It is interesting. You have such well. That I have energized after. No, that is what I'm disappointed in you, and Dan, as your, as your Sith Lord interrupt
Starting point is 00:12:02 your master, I give you a B minus. I can hire you you apologize afterwards. Never do so. There's something very sassy about a B minus, too. That's just the greatest thing. I'll take it home. I'll take it home to the folks. So, yeah, the movie opens up. We see a frozen wasteland, a frozen plane far off in the distance. And I see palace and kingdom suddenly lava begins to rain down and we see Bowser. That's the, we see a floating volcano island spitting out. Did you guys get the new floating volcano island down? Bangers.
Starting point is 00:12:42 It's nothing but bangers. Pretty good. I think you're you're you'reing up to Wow. Wow. So lava rains down swarms of coupas, which are like turtle men come flying out or jumping out or doing all kinds of shit. Guys, I have a question for you. Maybe or should I wait till we actually see Bowser because it's a Bowser morphology question. Yeah, we can talk about. Okay. Okay, so Bowser, he's enormous. He's got spikes on his shell. He has a long tail. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Every other Koopa is a little turtle who's kind of nerdy, like it's not particularly impressive or scary. Yeah. What's what WTD, what's the deal? I don't understand. I mean, that's why he's bored of them. That's the same species. Are they different species?
Starting point is 00:13:22 They all seem to be males. What's going on? What is the natural history of these creatures? Do they evolve separately or the same? Are they the same creatures? What I'm asking. There used to be, I don't know, there's like named koopas, right? Like Iggy and some other, some of those are Bowser's kids.
Starting point is 00:13:40 Some of those are like Iggy and Bowser's kids. Yeah. Yeah. Make sense. Just drive out. Count as a name or is you know, Bowser's kids, yeah. Yeah. Make sure it's dry bones. Count as a name, or is it just dry bones isn't a name? No, no, that's a, like a species. These are species or a rank. It's possible that you can become a dry bones.
Starting point is 00:13:55 I mean, you see the dry bones. It's like the difference between a necromancer and a witch. Just like a Koopa paratroopa is, is that a species or is that a rank? No, that's a rank. That's a rank. And I think it's interesting to you, you mentioned the difference between a rank? No, that's a rank. Military. That's right. And I think it's interesting to do it.
Starting point is 00:14:07 You mentioned the difference between a necromancer and a licked. Of course, the difference is that a necromancer is just has games, the powers and a licked was recently the head of CNN, but failed to stay for very long. The start powers did not last for a very long time. Just think everyone that likes all of evolution, everything had to line up just right for that joke to make sense of that particular moment. That's the beauty of humor, Dan.
Starting point is 00:14:31 That's the beauty of word humor, is that it should work, but it does. There's so many words in this gorgeous world that God gave us that sound like other words. Thank you for creating the English language in its perfect form, God, and then gifting us with the Constitution, a perfect divine document that can never be changed. even though it says in it how to change it.
Starting point is 00:14:49 I've got to be changed over the last. We haven't seen each other in a while. So now I'm all about conservative politics and topless women. That's all I care about. I need to know about. That's my media. Yeah. I think they removed the topless women from I was really the newspapers. The newspapers. I went well Dan I went to the library and I was reading back issues. Yeah. I went to the archives. For the news, of course. Yeah, yeah. It's just sad to see that for the articles just to see the the woke mind virus traveling
Starting point is 00:15:31 to other countries, right? Dan, you're complaining about that. No, again, uh, stuff trying to paint. Okay. So you have you heard the new woke mind virus album? Nothing but bangers. It's crazy. Very jagged logo on that cover. So the, yeah, so we're getting this like, you know, like militant fantasy army music, a army of little penguin guys come marching out of the ice fortress. We have ranked up armies about to fight each other. It's like two book comes out, Bowser himself. As we mentioned mentioned voice by Jack Black who really, you know, he puts his whole ass in this movie. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:16:09 He does. No, no, is it, whenever I said, so King Kupa, I'm glad you said that because I grew up knowing him as King Kupa, but whenever I call on that, my kids are like, what, who were you talking about? You mean Bowser? Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about, Dad? But what is this shit, King Kuba?
Starting point is 00:16:26 Like, do you have a stroke? Is this Bowser? Yeah. And I'm like, uh, uh, like Bowser from Shana-na-na, and they're like, you get outta here. Yeah. I don't understand what that is, dad. I'm like, I don't really either, necessarily. Are you still having a stroke, dad?
Starting point is 00:16:40 A retro nostalgia group from before I was born. So they're double retro now. I like that. This was framed as if this is a constant source. I mean, the Kewpa Bowser thing is kind of, but yeah. Always saying. So there's a second. But it's like, it's almost like this is that's actually that's we I joke earlier that I've become a conservative. I have. I still love liberal things. And I want everyone to live the way that they feel like is the best way for them to live. But maybe not socially, but that we'll get into that. Hold on, I think everyone should have the dignity of being a human being equal in all
Starting point is 00:17:12 ways. Now, despite their different ways of living. But when I say kinkupa and they say Bowser, it is like I'm using a slur that was okay when I was a kid, but it's now no longer okay. They are like, what do you say? Like, call him Bowser. Call him by his name, sir. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Yeah, you feel, and you, you looked to help from your wife and she is, I don't know, playing a solitaire or something, reading a book, doing something much more far away than talking about super Mario Bros. Yeah. She's worried she's going to get canceled. Oh, yeah. She doesn't want to go all the way. We should mention it.
Starting point is 00:17:44 We will say it is a, it is a rule that she is continually reinforcing at the table that they're going to be. No video game talk at the table. Because they barely play video games, but they sure love talking about them. So yeah, that's my friends kid saw somebody play Undertale once and then became obsessed with the character from it who looks like a little skeleton wearing a hoodie. Sans. And that became his whole identity for a while. And I'm like, you know what, that's exactly what I would have done if I was a kid. See somebody play a video game once and
Starting point is 00:18:20 that's my whole deal. So, okay. So this army, army of penguins marches out. It looks like we're going to have a real battle on our hands, turns out the penguins just throw snowballs ineffectually. And then Bowser roasts the whole castle with his fire breath. Like he doesn't need an army. He's like, he's like full on Godzilla. It's bonkers. If you saw the trailer, you saw this whole scene. Uh-huh. Yeah. So in the rules of the cast, I mean, I wore help the audience. I don't know. Yeah, that's so visual.
Starting point is 00:18:48 If I didn't paint a word picture for you, you could just watch the trailer. Stuart is describing everything detail and dance, like, let me help you out here. If you saw the trailer, you've seen it. The audience is like, oh, right. Yeah, I'm like, why don't you just go watch the movie? And then you'll know we're talking about a movie. And then we can just skip to final judgments, right. Yeah, I'm like, why don't you just go watch the movie? And then you'll know we're talking about a movie. So then we can just skip to final judgments, sure. So the, in the ruins of the ice palace, Bowser finds a glowing question mark block that
Starting point is 00:19:16 he hits. And out of that pops a floating star that's a superstar that's supposed to give him invincible powers. And it's, yeah, it's a, it's a copy of the bootleg because it's not officially available. DVD superstar, the character story. Yeah. Todd Haynes, a Barbie doll, experimental film. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Okay. So smash cut. We are in Brooklyn, New York. And I'm like, finally, back home, I get to see all the sights. Back home, you've been, you've been, you've been, I assume you saw this in Brooklyn. So it's like you were away for a couple minutes in the fantasy world. Now you're back in Brooklyn. Now I'm back.
Starting point is 00:19:50 I'm grounded again. So we grounded. I can't leave my room. I'm sorry. So sorry your parents grounded you. That's okay. I deserved it. So we, we see the, the Mario, we get a little commercial for the Mario Super Mario Brothers plumbing
Starting point is 00:20:05 service. It's a little bit retro. It's a little bit goofy, intentionally, you know, I mean, I'm a, I'm a real sucker for intentionally bad commercials. So this part, I was okay, because I like, I, it's not, it's been done before, but I'll watch an intentionally bad public access commercial any day of the week. So. Yeah. So we're introduced to the Mario brothers, Mario and Luigi, who are both plumbers, they who used to work for a kind of a jerk plumber named Spike, but they have recently gone off on their own played by Sebastian, Madiscalco for people who. Whoa. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:20:41 That's about that. The star of the upcoming movie, the Sebastian, Madiscalco Robert Deereau movie. I don't What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on?
Starting point is 00:20:51 What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on?
Starting point is 00:20:59 What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? How dare you? There is no, there's no better sign of how outside of the real comedy world I am, even as a comic professional than that he has a movie coming out and that movie The Machine is, it came out or is coming out and I'm like, I'm not familiar with either
Starting point is 00:21:15 of these guys. This is one real American love to laugh at, Elliot. They're like a laugh at all. Super skinny Christian Bale. Yeah, that's, I forgot. So was that the machine? I didn't realize that. No, no, that's the machine. So, yeah, so hold on, hold on. Well, if you want to talk about spike, smash the menace gal, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:21:35 So here's the balance. I want to read it. Just let people know that in the movie Spinning Gold, a film from 2023, I'm not sure whether it came out yet or not. Okay. But apparently Sebastian Manascalco is playing George Eau Moroder in this. Whoa. Really? And that kind of saw it all over the place.
Starting point is 00:21:56 So like Luigi's scared of everything. Mario is kind of an eternal fuck up that will never get his life right. But very optimistic. He's very optimistic. You know, classic hero's journey shit, you know, he's going to say the day. Did you guys think it was necessary to have a mean plumber who can articulate you guys will never make it as plumbers? I mean, it's he because it seems entirely unnecessary.
Starting point is 00:22:21 Like I don't know why we need to set them up that way. Or the family, you know, the dad seems, you know, disappointed in them and telling them they will never make their dream of plumbers. And look, it is weird to see two grown men with fucking full-ass moustaches have to be like treated like children. And also, also the fact that being a professional plumber is not that outrageous a dream. The idea, it's not like it's not like they're trying to start a rock band or anything like that. It's not like they're trying to be famous painters, you know, this is something that millions of people do as a job every day.
Starting point is 00:22:57 I mean, provided that you can handle your budget and that you are able to charge appropriately and that you don't overexend yourself as a contractor, I think you can make a pretty easy, not necessarily easy, you can make a living. Yeah. A very stable, a good quality little class job. It's a job that I regularly, I'm like, I should every time at the bar, I'm like, I should just go to fucking plumbing school. I mean, it would certainly help you at the bar too. You can just use that. Yeah, I've learned so much plumbing shits since I've started. Now how many times do you learn?
Starting point is 00:23:28 Yeah. Wait, what? To give us a plumbin' back. Yeah, good challenge and Dan challenge. Yeah, yeah, give me a, give me a, give me a, give me a, make it back. Make it up in fact. Yeah, give me a plumbin' back. Yeah, you can just, you can just make a claim like you've learned so much shit about plumbing
Starting point is 00:23:41 and not actually tell us one thing. I mean, how if a nookie was you willing to risk at this moment, you're going to retract it. Well, I've, I've at least learned within my plumbing setup where, where air gaps need to be made, how to deal with clogs along the way. What's the best way to deal with the clog? How you shouldn't always just be using drain owing shit. I mean, it sounds like it, it sounds like you're ready to take it on yourself to save the burrow of Brooklyn from a flooding sewage pipe. That's only that word happened.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Following into an adventure and then facing came them. Yeah, so the Mario brothers get a call. They have to platform their way through the city of Brooklyn before coming to a luxury high rise where they try and take on their first job. The problem is Luigi makes enemies with the dog. So after quickly fixing the sink, the dog attacks them, causing a series of overflowing drains and destroys the bathroom. And they almost killed the dog in the process. Yes. Dog-bong false cow window. Yeah. But I did chuckle remembering how disappointed the dog was in Luigi when Luigi stepped on its bone. I want to. On its, and it's like a bone treat. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Not it's not its erect penis. Step back for just a second. Because I think we don't need Matt at Luigi if he did that to us unless that's not true to us unless that's true. If you want to just step on your bone more power to you. As long as it's as long as he's wearing like red bottoms or something, I'm into it. Yeah. This Luigi wears lettuce. Anyway, no, going back a little bit was was this when No Sleeptile Brooklyn played because I just want to probably fall out. Yeah, probably. There were some of the most irritating, like needle draft. Yeah, so here's the story I heard about that. What I heard, and I'm not sure if it's true, was that this movie had a four. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
Starting point is 00:25:35 wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
Starting point is 00:25:43 wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait was that they had an original score and that at the relatively last minute, some executives said, pull it out, just put some pop songs in. And that's why the pop songs they use are so tired on the nose overused songs. And I saw it. And Danny Alceman's like, fuck you. He's like, I'll just reuse this. Try another movie. Tryout Rezner's like, fuck you, dude.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Yeah, they were collaborating on this one for the first time. Was the two of them and John Williams, what was going to be his final score? Yeah. Mr. Reznor, they just, children found your score sort of off-putting in frighten me. Mr. Inch nails, they were too scary. Okay, we'll end up in the ultimate in here.
Starting point is 00:26:23 And then they go forward. Danny Elfman, they found your score too scary. Oh, okay. Well, bring whoever does the music for Mario Bob is movies in. Let's have him try the Super Mario Brothers. Evely Alcman come. Lay down. So, and that's why they play Nocy to Brooklyn, which also was the worst needle drop in Guardians of Galaxy Volume 3. Bye for you. They later on, for some reason when they get to the Donkey Kong country, they're playing Take On Me by Aha, right?
Starting point is 00:26:50 Yeah. And instead of fucking Tarzan boy, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, and it's only I think because Donkey Kong wears like a skinny tie and all the donkey, all the grills that are wearing like blazers and skinny ties. That's the, and there's when, when Mario's going through an obstacle course, they're playing I need a hero, which is hilarious because it's a sex song. I got to say, if you're going to be doing this shit, these needle drops, you got to throw and fucking jump by Van Halen, not only is it thematically appropriate, but David Lee
Starting point is 00:27:19 Roth basically dresses like fucking Mario. He wears overall- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I-
Starting point is 00:27:32 And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I-
Starting point is 00:27:40 And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I-
Starting point is 00:27:48 And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- And then I- that was labeled, now that's what I call movie needle drop music and just tossed it in. But so they do no sleep till Brooklyn, because there's no other songs about Brooklyn. Sorry everybody. There's no other Brooklyn songs. That's the only way available. So they get fired from their job. They have to go to their family. And let me just wait.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Let me say this to them being fired from their job. Okay, go on. It is entirely that family's fault for not keeping their dog away from the service workers that they brought in to take care of their utilities. That is entirely their fault. Oh, weird. Are you saying that like rich people treat the people who work for them poorly? That's weird.
Starting point is 00:28:10 This is like the first time that's ever happened. Except if that was the point of the scene, I would be like, all right, you got them Super Mario Brothers movie, but it's supposed to be like Marlena Luigi always fucking up because when they went to fix a drain, a dog attacked them. Oh boy, they couldn't deal with that. It's, I found this unfair. Yeah, unfair. The risk of marion loaing on the other side of this classified, because like, you know,
Starting point is 00:28:30 I don't care about these made up cartoon rich people, but I was watching this with this May because like, they're like the, all of the marble is cracking in the place. Yes, well, they do just the way they do. I'm like, this is going gonna be such an expensive repair job. Yes, an expensive remodel. And I'll say this, Marry and Lloyd, you do make it worse. They don't handle the situation well. But it is a, this movie, so this is one of the most
Starting point is 00:28:56 by the numbers generic storytelling structure movies you can imagine. My kids loved it. As soon as it's over, they said, that's our favorite movie. And I said to them, and I said, you're like, wow, please. And I said to them, I've seen this movie. I've only seen it once, but I've seen this movie a million times at this point. So it's like the heroes have got to be kind of nobody believes in them. They've down on the Olock, but they have faith in themselves.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Then a thing happens. We have to show that they know what they're doing, but they're somehow still incompetent. So they're not going to succeed. They need to be tested. And it feels very... That's a save a cat or in this case a dog for a ball. Or in this case a dog for sure. And it's a and the, to be honest, and the, the, the customers that they're fixing, they're people of color, right? So the, so it establishes the rule that, that screenwriting guru Matt Bird pointed on his website years ago that I'd never noticed where you, to a show that a character is your hero. You have them be friendly with a black person early on during a movie and like both silence of the lambs and 40 year old virgin do this right away.
Starting point is 00:29:54 So it's a so we've they've been a step further. One of the many similarities between those two. Yeah. That they they're they're they're it just feels like this movie is just hitting the it's hitting all the beats. Like like they like you're hitting a block with your head so a coin comes out, but there's no originality to it to put it in French. Yeah, so we are introduced to Mario Luigi's extended stereotypical Italian family, where they are given a large Italian meal that does feature mushrooms which Mario hates.
Starting point is 00:30:26 Isn't that hilarious guys? You like that shit? Because you know, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna like it. You're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're gonna have, you're. And I was like, really, you think you can get away with this? This is crazy. Yeah. The way they had all the voice actors in one room sort of just improvising. They're all lying. They would have their drifts. Mario gets gunned down in the snow. Yeah. Yeah. Just just periodic narration from a bird expert who slowly turning into a bird throughout the movie. They're just they're ripping off. I remember when O.C. showed up in the later, of course, Stigs. They're just ripping off Robert Altman left and right. Yeah, that's crazy. Okay. So Mario dejected from the ribbing he takes from his family and the forced mushroom meal he's supposed to eat
Starting point is 00:31:21 goes to a grown man. He can eat around the mushrooms. He goes to play video games in a bedroom that again does not look like a grown man's bedroom. He is a large child with a mustache and his body's, like the way his body's design kind of follows that line. Is it possible that they are children with mustaches and not grown adults? I mean, everything's cool. So I have to yes. Yeah. I want to stop for a second because we're about to go to the mushroom kingdom and say,
Starting point is 00:31:49 okay, um, Oh, do I need to pack a bag? Do I need to catch mushrooms though? Yes, they have much of them there. You also, you should have some kind of a guide to hold your phone because you're going to be tripping balls. You're going to pack your frog suit, your,ouki suit, your, my tinouki suits at the cleaners.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Can I get one there or is it going to be super expensive? Also, should I change dollars to mush bucks before I go? I think you should identify as a whole box. It's all coins. Oh, that's right, it's all coins. It's so cumbersome. Get a carry coins everywhere. I just, before we go over the rainbow to the fancy world.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Now I'm imagining, wait, coming back back from coming back from the mushroom kingdom through customs to here and then being like, did you bring any flora or fauna in? No, no, nothing like that. Well, let's just have the dog sniff it and the dog sniffs it. Open up your bag, sir. Is that a fire flower in your bag? How did that get in there? I was good.
Starting point is 00:32:40 I should. You know what? If I'd known that in there, I was in there. I was going to report it. You know, that's illegal to have in this, in this dimension because it's a flower that gives you the ability to throw fireballs out of your hands. And I go, uh, but what about my second amendment rights? Because Dan, remember, I'm all into conservative stuff for instance.
Starting point is 00:32:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a callback. I get it. Anyway, it's consistent with your character growth. No, I just want to say before, you know, we, we go to the to the meat of this movie, which is the stuff that happens. But it's mushroom meat. It's fake meat. It had a mushroom, yeah. Yes.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Support a bellow burger that you've ordered. I don't want to tip my hand too much. Like while I found this film sort of consistently inoffensive except in one big way that I will explain once we get to final judgments. The black facene. No, I mean, it's more conceptually offensive to me just as a face product. But I'm, you know, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
Starting point is 00:33:40 I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,. While there is nothing, well, I did not like this move that much over all. The parts I liked the most, honestly, was before they went to the Mushroom Kingdom. Because in part, I think that Mario and Luigi have a good rapport. There is some small effort to make you understand who they are to one another in a way that none of the like they don't even get that much of a character like the like you're just expected to be like oh there's my friends Mario and Luigi I know they're deal like but no one else in the movie has any real character or any explanation by like why they have a relationship to Mario,
Starting point is 00:34:25 why Mario has a relationship to them or their attitudes, why they changed to one another. Like it is like so. I mean, you're referring to almost the fact that Mario literally kind of stumbles on to Toad in the forest. It's for the attention and Toad is like, you're your best friend. I show you around and I do everything with you. Yeah, yeah. For one.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Maybe Toad's one of those people who like, he finds people in crisis and latches onto them and tries and helps them through it because that's a way for Toad to avoid his own problems. Oh, interesting. Certainly in the spin-off, that's how to think. I feel like you get a lot of that out of Keegan Michael Kees performance. Do you think he was, was he pitched up or something like, or do you think that was all Keegan Michael key? Because I was all in the root on the in the voice box. That was a pretty good. Yeah, it was pretty good voice. Anyway, Elliot's, Elliot's, Elliot's lost in the sauce right now.
Starting point is 00:35:12 So we, I just didn't have anything to say about it. He's a very talented performer. I don't know. So we, Mario and Luigi find out there's a massive plumbing leak in Brooklyn and the city is about to, I don't know, sink. So they rush downtown, they pop up on a manhole cover, they go down into the sewer system, they find an abandoned section of the sewer system. Now, this is a municipal plumbing problem.
Starting point is 00:35:38 This is dealing with pipes that are so far beyond their scale and the scope of what they're doing. The idea that they're going to go and save the day and they the scope of what they're doing. The idea that they're gonna go and save the day and they don't tell anybody, they're gonna do it, that they're just gonna anonymously jump down a flooded sewer pipe and they're gonna die essentially. That's what makes them a hero. Hey, put that in the film, Floob section.
Starting point is 00:35:55 It's not an accurate reflection of plumbing. It's a foolish thing to do to just be like, you know what, there's this huge problem. It's all of Brooklyn is flooding, something that they never explained, right? It's not related to the plot, it's just a thing that's happening. And they're like, you know, who can handle it? I mean, what's happening is that Brooklyn is getting overdeveloped and the infrastructure isn't able to support it.
Starting point is 00:36:20 And so it's causing a lot of plumbing issues. I can tell from personal experience that this is. Yeah, you learned a lot of plumbing. They learned a lot of plumbing issues. I can tell from personal experience that this is. Yeah, you learned a lot about plumbing. They learned a shit lot about plumbing. So they find an unused kind of undisturbed section of sewer dungeon and they find a giant green pipe that sucks both of them into a magical fantasy world. This was so many questions about how the New York sewer system, which according to this movie goes down for stories and stories beneath.
Starting point is 00:36:49 Beneath New York, but also so it's like and Marlos looks like no one has been around here for years, which it doesn't. It looks the same as all the I like. It does look the same. Yeah. Now they didn't put like like like dust or anything on it, but all but it that it just raises the question of why is this pipe here? Not because I need all the backstory.
Starting point is 00:37:08 But. This is the first, and in many ways, it's like the least egregious example, but there are like so many of them in the movie that I feel like we should get it over with now. Like. Of pipes. The movie does not explain anything.
Starting point is 00:37:23 And I don't want to go into like this battle-agel idea where I love Backstory. I love Backstory. Dan loves Backstory. Backstory, Michael. And a certain way, this confounded my brain this movie. Because in a certain way, I'm like, God knows I don't want explanations for everything. You don't care. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:42 But at the same time, this movie's steadfast refusal to give a reason for anything other than like, that's the way it was in the video game. Yeah. Becomes mad at me over time. Like, I have no idea how someone who has no, who had no like connection to the games would take any of this. I'll tell you, Dan, because I brought two of them to the sea. They loved it.
Starting point is 00:38:04 They loved every aspect of it. They've never played Mario games before. Very basically, they played Mario Kart, but like, I don't, they don't know all the ins and outs of the, of the mythology of the games or whatever. And they just, no, that's true. But it's working on, I think I, you could say the movie is working on kind of like a children's magic level where I do admire the movie didn't come up with a lot of BS techno science garbage about or like fantasy backstory epic stuff, but it does feel like the movie, it feels less like the movie is making a deliberate choice to not be incomered by that and more that it's just kind of lazy that it's just kind of like. Yeah, it's like you get the deal right?
Starting point is 00:38:41 Yeah. Like this movie is the exact basic model of what you would expect from a supermart, like, you did not buy any of the add-ons. You're like, I just want what was in the game, man. No, do you? No, do you think? And my big objection to this film is like, well, then why don't I just go play the fucking game where I get to control Mario?
Starting point is 00:39:01 Why am I watching this thing to add nothing? That is the question is, at a certain point, it's like the movie, it's like sitting and watching your friend play a game. Yeah, or like the first hour of any Hideo Kojima game. I guess I got to learn all this shit. It's all down. I need to play. Oh, another cut. I'll stop torching Stuart and shut up. So we can continue. No, but I think that's the thing that this movie is both its strength and its weakness. Its strength as a piece of merchandise is that it is such a
Starting point is 00:39:31 replication of the general sense of playing the game, but without you having to do anything. And it adds nothing and it doesn't bother you with details. And that's also the flaw as a story is that nothing makes sense. There's no reason for anything the characters are flat. There's it's not it's not like well, they're three deal. They're three deal. They're three.
Starting point is 00:39:51 They're three deal rendered. I apologize. If they were flat, I feel like some people would have preferred it. Um, so yeah, they go down into the warrens of the sewer system. It looks like something you would find under a police station in raccoon city. They find a green pipe that sucks them into a magical fantasy world while they're flying through the air. They see all such sights and clouds and wonders before being separated. Unfortunately, Mario lands in a place called the mushroom kingdom, which is basically a
Starting point is 00:40:17 fantasy land covered in giant mushrooms and populated by, I guess, people that are mushrooms which is not as cool as the cactus people in China, Mievels, Baselog, Tril guess, people that are mushrooms, which is kind of wild. Not as cool as the cactus people in China, Mievel's boss log trilogy, but that's something else to talk about entirely. Or the cactus people super Mario Bros. 3. That's true. I wonder if the cactus people in Super Mario Bros. 3 are similar to the cactus people in the boss log trilogy.
Starting point is 00:40:38 You've got to assume so this is another thing where I don't think it's ever explained why there's one human woman in the mushroom kingdom and everyone else's mushrooms. Well, I mean, they kind of actually talk about the history of it. Not. Like she calls Mario a human and then we don't know exactly where she came from. Although it is wild that like, I don't know, it has this, so there are an enemy is different enough that you're like, is that, could they do it? Yes, that golden retriever in that Chihuahua? Are they the same animal?
Starting point is 00:41:05 I do think that there's an unintended sort of like weird racial message to this movie where Mark's like Mario shows up and immediately like toad is like, you're my bet like he wants to serve him because like he's a human and, Princess Peach, you know, when we hear about her later on, she's like, yeah, I came in from this other portal as a baby and they raised me and eventually they made me their queen. Yeah, real fucking dangerous situation. And also that when she's like, I have to go on this mission, Mario, you're another human, you'll come with me, right? Like there is a horrible kind of like a white savior of a foreign land, kind of Tarzan aspect
Starting point is 00:41:51 to all this. Although it's possible that she is not a human, but a Mangaboo, the plant people from the Oz books. It's true. Maybe she's the missing link between mushroom and mushroom. Yeah, but among the many things that are not explained, like the way that everyone rallies around Mario, as soon as he shows up and treats him like the best guy in the world, and like our savior is wild.
Starting point is 00:42:12 He has such protagonist physics around him with a story who works itself around him. And the fact that Pinterest features like, I have this desperate mission and Mario goes, I'll prove I can go on it. And then he runs through an obstacle course for like a day and a half. And it's like, at no point was speech like, uh, maybe I could just go because Bowser's coming and he's just running really good at this. Yeah. So I could on my own.
Starting point is 00:42:35 It's probably ended out the sequence where Mario gets super upset. He throws his controller across the room. Yeah. And then his mom is like, well, just stop playing. And he goes, no, I like it. She goes, well, doesn't seem you like it. You're just getting mad. So this is not just the only movie where a, there's a kind of incompetent guy who is instantly coded as the hero, even though he is a female sidekick who is more competent and better than
Starting point is 00:43:00 him. It's not even the only animated version. It's not even the only animated version where Chris Pratt is that guy. So what I think that's what the Garfield movie is ain't going to be Garfield in the movie. I think he gets first crack at every animated character. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My birthday. Garfield. Yeah. We're recording this the dance or my birthday. Such a kind of behavior coming off of Garfield. Yeah. Chris Brad's going to, he gets first, first crack. So he's going to be Garfield.
Starting point is 00:43:27 He's going to be Papa Smurf. He's going to be all the snorcks. He's going to be Lionel in the Thundercat movie. He's going to be, uh, what other question? We're, we already talked about which Smurf we'd be if we were Smurfs, right? Uh, yeah, vanity, the sexy one. Well, you'd all be vanity Smurf. Yeah, three-day-a-days-dooby vanity. I'm, I don't know. I mean, you, one, probably the gr sexy one. We'd all be vanity smurf. Yeah, three days to be vanity. I'm, I don't know. I mean, you want probably the grumpy
Starting point is 00:43:49 one. I'm sure there's a grumpy one. Yeah. Uh, sleepy, is there sleep? There is. Yeah. He's got a little night cap already on his head. Okay. So Mario bumps into toe, toe, it's like toads, the little mushroom guy. He talks a lot, voiced by Keke Michael Michael Key and he explains that Luigi is most likely in the dark lands. They need the princess to find him. Unfortunately, toad is 100% correct. Luigi has landed in the dark lands, which is very spooky filled with lava and twisted broken
Starting point is 00:44:20 trees. Dry bones. And a bunch of dry bones, which are like bone turtles. He runs away from them, somehow manages to get over the river of lava into a haunted mansion, just like the game of his namesake. And this was literally when my four year old turned to me and said, he's in Luigi's haunted mansion. So again, hitting exactly what a four year old wants out of this movie, which is.
Starting point is 00:44:43 Did you recognize the five year old give him an eye roll? I give you both at the same time. And he thinks he's safe, unfortunately, that Hona mansion is filled with shy guys, which are like little guys with masks on. Because they just cooked. Yep. They genuinely have a great design. Mario and Tode. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's a reason why this stuff has lasted as long as it has, because the design is good. Well, that's the movie looks good, although that does it. I think it does.
Starting point is 00:45:13 I think it does. I don't think it looks bad, but it's not like it looks better than Spider-Man. Hold on, let me get to where it was. What? We may only Spider-Man showed the artistic ambition of the Super Mario Brothers movie. Hold on, we may be going the same place, Elliot. Hell, I know we are, both of us. It looks good in that it's got the cute Mario designs, it's got bright colors. It's they've written to look at, but even that, I'm not impressed by because it is a CGI
Starting point is 00:45:43 cartoon movie about cartoon computer video game like characters. Yeah, I think the best you can say about it is that they do a really good job of extrapolating even more from the look of the game to what other things would look like if they were in that game. It feels very on-model. And I mean, considering we did a whole live show, I hope our audience enjoyed it about the old Samarabrothers movie, which is defiantly off model in every way from the characters. And I'm not saying
Starting point is 00:46:08 they should go in that direction because that I think that's also I think for a kids movie about Mario Brothers, this is clearly the better way to go as shown by the fact that made a billion dollars and the other one did not. But it's still a as a as a work of anything other than just IP management. Brand extension. Brand extension. There's nothing going on, you know. So maybe, if, maybe if there'd been one full frontal scene of Mario or Luigi, it would
Starting point is 00:46:33 have challenged the viewer a little bit, you know, make the European version. Yeah. People mostly fucking minds if it was Luigi. Mario's penis is long, was Luigi's short and fat. You got a shoe on that thing in there. So, symmetry. It's got, what classic art historians would call Controposto. Oh, man, Alex being so fucili.
Starting point is 00:47:01 So, Mario and Toad arrive at the capital, the mushroom kingdom, they have to platform their way through town. Say it. And there's, you know, filled with low easter egg jokes about old Nintendo garbage. Yeah. They fly around on little on blocks. They do all kinds of shit. They go through. It's a very inefficient way to get through town. Very inefficient. Yeah. Yeah. That's the kind of open walking spaces that American cities don't want. Hell, it's like invested on Monterey. So it's just just better signage would help too. It's hard to know where pipes go. They get to the, they get to the castle, the palace guards, don't want them to come in. so they have to get through using a mixture of trickery and running. Meanwhile, Princess Peach.
Starting point is 00:47:49 I did like the moment where Toad takes out a knife and then just proceeds to cook the mammal to keep it. That's a distraction. Yeah. Meanwhile, Princess Peach is having some kind of like an audience with her various, I guess, landholding nobles. You can't, yeah, they're the boyars of the, of the Mushroom Kingdom. They pull out, they have this like 3D model table, like it's kind of, I was in a fan of
Starting point is 00:48:13 this part, but they have like a 3D model table that shows Bowser's progress. Now that he has defeated the ice people and how he's on his way and he's going to destroy the mushroom kingdom, It's bad news. So the Princess Peach decides, oh, I have to go to Donkey Kong country to go get these gorillas to join us. And they're like, I don't think that's going to work. She's like, I got to make it happen. So as she's leaving, she bumps into Mario and Mario's like, I'll help you and she's like,
Starting point is 00:48:41 fuck it, whatever. But you have to go through this obstacle course first. And he's like, as long as you're a play holding out for a hero. You're like going to bring a bunch of mushrooms with me. Yeah. So, yeah, I go on. This obstacle course thing is a part where the movie, which has already resembled the game, like, totally literalizes the game.
Starting point is 00:49:00 Like she manifests some platformer, platforms, and, you know, those spinning, you know, movie traps and whatnot. Restart upon death mechanic. Yeah. And you're like, this is kind of a rogue like. Does his progress get saved at all? I mean, if this turned into an inception sort of thing, where like it was just like an infinite regressive, like smaller and smaller version. So within the opposite version, she then has to do a smaller obstacle. Yeah, I'm not sure. Like that. But otherwise this infuriated me. I mean, aside from giving up movie, he's just playing the game. I mean, aside from her saying, the only way that can make it more is if she was like, first, you'll have to play a mini game to prove yourself, you know, but, but you know what? But it means we get hold not
Starting point is 00:49:41 for a hero, so on that. Hold now for a year hero, a song that implies that Peach is testing him to see if she, if he will be as good a battle mate as he will be a bed mate. Yeah. So we, uh, before, before Mario goes through the obstacle course, we first see Peach do it. And of course she does it perfectly. No flaws. 100%.
Starting point is 00:50:01 She's amazing. Tenning. Russian judge and they're very difficult. Yeah. And it's one of those things where I'm like, I guess, I mean, were we supposed to assume she was going to do this? Is this like the granny in Space Jam 2 that suddenly beats everybody up? I don't know. But she's amazing at it.
Starting point is 00:50:16 Mario, however, not so much even after he has to eat. She explains he has to eat these magic mushrooms, which he's like, I don't know if my tummy is going to handle this. Now, what if, now, let me, let me, let's just think about this here. What if instead of them being regular Mario game mushrooms, they were magic mushrooms. And Mario was just hallucinating his way through the rest of the movie. In order to make it to Bowser, we're going to have to pass through the doors of perception. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:40 I defeated Bowser. Mario, you've been lying on the, yeah, you're rolling around in this bean bag chair. Well, you're just you're just covering your own probably time for four hours. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So Mario eventually gets through this I was just saying that Mario is having the most intense ayahuasca experience and he's going through all of his past regrets. His his family are turning into obstacles for him to get through. Yeah, it could happen. Sure.
Starting point is 00:51:06 Well, yeah, Mario is a great kingdom fell, but at least you've resolved your emotional issues. Yeah. Now what do I do with this bucket of shit and vomit that the shaman left me with? Oh, yeah, you can just pour that anywhere. The mushroom kingdom has fallen. No one cares. Yeah. This is around this, this is the point in my notes for the movie that I wrote. I don't like movies anymore. Okay, so we now cut to Bowser. Bowser's back in the back with his buddies.
Starting point is 00:51:37 He has like a little wizard, Cooper, that helps him do stuff. That's Camick, the Cooper. The Cooper Sorcerer. Yeah. He explains it is plan is to go to the mushroom kingdom and you're like to destroy it. And it's like, nope, he wants her proposed to princess Peach to marry him. Otherwise, he'll destroy destroy the mushroom kingdom. And you're like, Oh, wow, this guy's got layers. I get it. Wow. It's just another, but it's just another form of toxic masculinity. Bowser,
Starting point is 00:52:04 just because you're into the villain does not mean that does not mean that she's into you. Yeah, come on. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thanks, L.A. for explaining the villain is bad. I just want to make sure people know that sometimes their characters who are the bad guys,
Starting point is 00:52:18 I mean, they do things. The movie is saying that's not the right thing to do. She's fairly bad too. You did frame it steward as if this myth that Bowser had a layer. That's true. Yeah. He's a bad guy from more than one reason. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:52:31 He also tips poorly. Is that, is that canon in the film? I don't remember that part. It is canon in the film. You know, who doesn't tip poorly? Wario, because Wario rules. But he's not covered in this movie. But the thing is, the thing is Wario tips great, but it's not his money.
Starting point is 00:52:45 It's the so he doesn't care what he's. I know that's a cool amount of it's nobody's money, dude. It's a big minute of your imagination, buddy. Wait, what? Money is just this collective bullshit where we all kind of put this implied value on it. Yeah, but it doesn't mean no one owns it. You can you can own things that people have invented just because invented things. It's not real. Hey man, refrigerators are just this thing we
Starting point is 00:53:11 agreed to create. I know they're not real man. And you don't take yours, okay? I guess that makes sense if it's not a real thing. Cool. Did you stock it up before I carded it up? Hey, man. Tom Stopper, the real thing is just it's not real. It's just an imaginary situation that people pretend to act out. So I'm going to take your tickets. Okay. I already guess so.
Starting point is 00:53:37 And that was inspired by the fake no more album, right? Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, of course. I mean, apparently features a midlife crisis. The face-to-war album that I assume was inspired by the Ray Charles Pepsi slogan. What was it called? Who did he show for? I don't remember. Okay, which one was the real thing? You got you got it, baby. Yeah, just double check. Oh, no, that was the right one, right? He you got the right one. I don't know. Oh, that would let the right one in. When Charles said, let the right one in, baby. Uh-huh. If a coke and a Pepsi share up, one of them
Starting point is 00:54:11 is going to suck it. It's a good. Don't let the teen age vampire into your house. That's what he says. Yeah. Well, do you guys remember the part? The was in the movie? The headmaster. Yes, it likes to be the naughty kid. He doesn't like to be the one laying down the law. No, no, I'm loving that one. This is great. Stewart is driving and he's going to enforce the rules. That's shredding.
Starting point is 00:54:38 So meanwhile, our buddy Luigi is being loaded on to some kind of an airship by shy guys, he, he stares off into the middle distance and has a flashback where he and Mario are babies looking basically identical with no mustaches, but similar outfits. And I guess they were a separate Luigi who's been a real bitch. Wow. That's a rough thing. Luigi is being bullied and Mario sticks up for him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Mario, Peach and Toad all set off through the mushroom kingdom.
Starting point is 00:55:14 We get a little, like a little bit of a travel montage, Bowser then sings a love song to Peach on a floating platform with a piano. And it is very much like a, Hey Jack Black, do a single take on a song you have not written for this movie. And he's like, sure thing. And you know, what? It's pretty still pretty good. Best thing in the movie. Best thing in the movie, yeah. Okay. Peach and Mario, uh, discover, you know, they have a little bit of a connection, uh, and we learn that. Do they, and what is that connection other than being the only humans in the world?
Starting point is 00:55:43 They're both humans and that, uh, Mario wants to be good at stuff, even though he's not. And Peach is good at everything and accepts that Mario is okay. And she can touch a flower and it gives her fireball throwing powers. Mm-hmm. So that's what they, that's their connection. I don't know. She feels like an outsider because she just showed up in the mushroom kingdom and then became the princess.
Starting point is 00:56:09 Mm-hm. Yeah. I, look, I don't, I'm looking. What am I? Is she elected a princess? I have a couple of very close friends. Much like Amidala, I think she's elected princess, yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:22 I have a couple of very close friends who, congratulations. Thank you. Who I love very much and usually I agree with them things, but one of the things they talked about was, they like this movie and one of the things they talked about they're like, look man, they're not, I like that they didn't try and make it more. Like it was just, like it was the games,
Starting point is 00:56:43 you know, like you got it, you got what you wanted. And I'm like, okay, but what is that? When you look at the Mario Brothers games, like, I love them, they're cute, they're fun to play, you know, like the like genius of Shigeru Miyamoto, you know, they're really well designed games. But there's no, there's nothing to adapt there. There's no character. Mario doesn't have a character. He says, he says, it's me and then tells you
Starting point is 00:57:11 that it is him, Mario. And that's about as much character development as he has. He's so fat. He's so fat. He's like, you know what I'm doing. I mean, I think what you're saying, if I can, if I'm on your page, Dan, I think I might be, is this movie does a really good job at the thing that it's doing.
Starting point is 00:57:28 But if the thing that it's doing is what you want, the problem is inside of you. And so, if this is, if this is what you're looking for in a movie, then maybe you need to like raise your eyes about the horizon a little bit. No, I mean, I think part of it is they just like games more than I do. So there's a more of a love of the source material, even though, you know, like I am of an age that Super Mario Bros. on the NES was like super formative. It's a great game. It's a reason.
Starting point is 00:57:59 There's a reason that the Mario games have lasted a long time that he's the mascot of the system. They're great games. And the crazy thing is, or I shouldn't say crazy, the, um, the a long time that he's the mascot of the system. They're great games. And the crazy thing is, or I shouldn't say crazy, the interesting thing to me is that the kind of byproduct of the Mario series has been innovation. Each installment in the series is a little bit different than the one before and expands the game play possibilities. Those are the games where Nintendo really experiments in an interesting way. And this movie is the exact opposite. It is, they're doing none of that. Maybe in Super Mario Brothers, the movie two, or the Super Mario Brothers movie two, Colin, the sequel, that maybe they'll
Starting point is 00:58:35 they'll take a note from that and they will innovate in some way or change the way they do it. That would be interesting. But my guess is they're just going to go to the place that Super Mario Brothers two takes place in that other game that was retrofitted into it Mario game years ago. But the it's it's strange that they would take us. So where Luigi Johnson is feet spin around real fast. Yes, it is. It is. And it's again, the introduced to the world. It's just disappointing. They would take a game
Starting point is 00:58:59 series that is itself a very innovative series and turn it into a movie that is a very, you know, basic very, you know, basic movie, you know. Yeah. Speaking of basic movies, we're watching one and talking about it. So we're not watching. Bowser, Bowser, Tortures, Luigi a little bit by plucking out his mustache hairs before eventually imprisoning him in a chain, like a chained cage, hanging with other prisoners. We see the penguin guys. We see this star character who has like a child's voice and is oddly gleeful about a,
Starting point is 00:59:32 hopefully not, my listing. Yeah, what he was saying. What was your take on this star character? This seemed like one of the few places where the movie was trying to push itself a little bit, but it was, it like didn't know what to do with it, but I did like, like, like, it felt like a lift from another movie, but I can remember which one. It felt like, I felt like something I had seen before, but I did like later. I loved the line reading when that kid's star go another, another prismic gets brought
Starting point is 00:59:54 in. And this, another prismic gets brought in and the star goes more meat for the grinder. And I just loved the read of that line. But I did feel like I see this character somewhere before. I mean, they're trying to do something interesting. I don't know. It reminded me of the little scene, little loved, but I enjoyed it. Avenue 5, the Armando Inuchi HBO series. Zach Witt.
Starting point is 01:00:18 Yeah, Zach Witt's played a character that like responded to, you know, everything going wrong with sort of the same cheerful, just abandonment of any normal moral. I mean, not like you didn't become immoral, but he was just like, you know, the void. And it was pretty funny. So Mario, Peach and Toad, they arrive at Donkey Kong Country, then a cool gorilla drives them around while we listen to Take On Me. Then they have to besiege Cranky Kong, voiced unfortunately by Fred Armason to help them.
Starting point is 01:00:51 Mario must, of course. Now, I'm curious why you said unfortunately, because I definitely did not like this voice performance, and it felt more like he was just not trying very hard. What did you, what did you just say? He is just a performer who, when he arrives in things, I feel it often lessens the thing. Unless the character he's playing is a fucking creep. In which case, I'm like, oh, wow. What amazing, what amazing cast.
Starting point is 01:01:14 Yeah, it's odd, because I do think he is a funny, talented guy, but I also just don't go for him most of the time. And I can't really put my finger on it. Sometimes I really like him and sometimes I don't, I don't like him. I love that, that SNL character he used to do, who was the topical comedian who never finished any of his jokes. I thought it was such a, yeah, it was such a funny character. But then there was that show with, the show he did with my Rudolph where they go to heaven or whatever. And his character was so strange that I could not, I just couldn't buy the show.
Starting point is 01:01:44 This is the character was so strange that I could not, I just couldn't buy the show. This is the character was so off putting. So, but he really just feels like he's like old man voice, got it? Okay. Well, you want my donkey soldiers, is that it? Hmm. You know, classic. He does a knickroll line delivery. Yes.
Starting point is 01:01:57 It's a very knickroll Adam Sandler old person line. Yes. But before, I'd be honest, I thought it was Nick Corolle before the credits ran. Before the Kongs will assist Peach and the gang in defending the Mushroom Kingdom. You guys hear the new Peach and the gang album? It's pretty good. It's not there's the last one, but the last one was full of bangers. So yeah, I'm a full of them. Stacked the rafters. So Mario lost a few members of the gang. Oh, is that what happened? Yeah. Mario has to defeat cranky-cong son Donkey Kong in some kind of
Starting point is 01:02:33 like gladiator battle, which takes place in a massive arena, suspended above what a huge drop. And they have to platform Donkey Kong shows up. He is voiced by, he's like Musli Gorilla, Macho Man voiced by Seth Rogan. And I'm like, finally, I see myself in movies. Musli Gorilla with the Seth Rogan voice, yep. And they, they do battle. Mario is totally getting his fucking ass whipped for a while. We're introduced to some of the power ups, like different mushrooms, that'll all matter later because those
Starting point is 01:03:09 all come into play. Eventually Mario gets a power up that gives him a cat suit, which allows him to just totally beat the shit out of Donkey Kong. He's just scratching the shit out of Donkey Kong. And we're like, oh my God, he's dying. It's sort of a cute, a cute like fuzzy cat suit, not like, you know what I'm saying. Not a sex-y, you're a dangerous. You leave your mark sort of a, oh, at one point I think a character says it's on like Donkey Kong and I tried to turn off my TV.
Starting point is 01:03:36 I should have, he lit a litr, lit line. They didn't even go far enough and haven't say it's on like you or it's on like me if Donkey Kong was going to say it, they just say it's on like Donkey Kong, which seems lazy. It's not a twist on like I'm a lion. It's just a reference. Yeah. With the introduction of Donkey Kong too, like I'm. Donkey Kong too, the sequel. Yeah, I'm, I am a bit anticipating what's going to happen next, which is like Donkey Kong and Mario become like sort of a mismatched buddy duo. Yeah, it's fine, but I want to talk about you can jump the odd structure of the movie in that way, because it starts out seeming like, okay, this is a buddy comedy between Mario and Luigi.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Oh, no, it's not that anymore. It's a buddy comedy between Mario and Toad. No. Now Toad kind of receives it to the background. It's going to be this kind of romance, maybe between Mario and Princess Peach, like, no, well, maybe that's a buddy comedy between mismatched buddies. Mario and Donkey Kong is like, what the fuck is the through line of this thing? The through line is Mario. Everything revolves around Mario. It's Samee Mario. And when
Starting point is 01:04:38 he says it's Samee Mario, he's essentially saying, I am the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. Salvation can only be found through me, Mario. And but I agree that I'm taking this for a burrow, eating my own Mario. Yep. This scene I also felt like was a missed opportunity, at least do the kind of storytelling I like. So peaches like, we're not strong, but we have heart or whatever she says to cranky Kong.
Starting point is 01:05:01 And what I really want, I wanted to be one of the scenes where Mario is getting beaten up by a Donk Kong, but he won't give up. And that impresses Donkey Kong or Donkey Kong in his arrogance slips and almost falls and Mario saves him and that impresses everybody. And since he does that later in the movie anyway, but instead Mario just beats up Donkey Kong. And it felt like if you're gonna differentiate these characters at all, if you're gonna make Mario a hero at all, like there should be some quality within him that shines out here rather than just like, well, if you put on a suit that gives you cat powers, you can beat up a gorilla.
Starting point is 01:05:32 Yeah. But I guess that's my mistake for trying to put emotional heft into the Super Mario Brothers movies. Yeah. So having defeated Donkey Kong, the Kongs decide to help them. They craft them Mario carts, which they all drive. It's just like such a, while we listen to Thunderstruck by ACDC. Yep, yep, because you can only use movies that have appeared in other movies before.
Starting point is 01:05:53 I mean, you go, sorry, you know, there's two songs that have appeared in other movies for. This was, and this felt, not since, and you're like, it should have been a whole lot of Rosie. Not since, or something about cars, you know, but not since like in cars. It should have been legs by ZZ top. Yes, exactly. Not just big boogie by ZZ top, Pearl necklace by ZZ top, but only if some cartoon versions of ZZ top show up.
Starting point is 01:06:19 Yeah, sure. Yes, man. They're incredible. Two little mushroom people with long beards just spinning their guitars around. Yeah, that's amazing. Now, not since Obi-Wan Kenobi got on a lizard to chase general grievous riding in a giant wheel machine, as it felt more like a movie was shoe horny and merchandise that could be sold later after the film. Then like, everybody gets their own beach. You get a motorcycle. Mario get this logo cart. Todd, you get this big monster truck.
Starting point is 01:06:45 There, toys, buy him everybody, buy him, buy him. And of course, Thunderstruck is, yeah, what else could you play at this point? We joke, but it's the only song you can play. It's the only option, yeah. I mean, I'm always happy to hear Thunderstruck. Yeah, it's a great, it's a great song, but it is a song that doesn't really fit what's going on. And also at this point, I can only think of ACDC as and then just struck as like an Iron
Starting point is 01:07:08 Man song because it was the Iron Man commercials and movies. But. So Bowser is roleplaying his proposals and how those are going to work out. You know, again, he's the thing is like he's building this. He has his parasocial relationship with Princess Peach. It's pretty fucked up. And he's, he's putting unfair expectations upon her. But you know, we'll, we'll see how it plays out. The maybe he'll win her over. Yeah. The carts. You know what? I'll say this for the movie. I'll say this for the movie. In an earlier time, Mario would have been the one who is trying and to push a relationship
Starting point is 01:07:45 on Peach. And then he would have succeeded at the end. And this movie does not do that. And I'll give it. Yeah, he would have been like Jola Truglio in the first season of Brooklyn 9.9 and you're like, calm down, buddy. Yeah, something like that. But they were in their lesson with that show.
Starting point is 01:07:58 They removed that character trait. Yeah. So I think I will give the movie respect for not having Mario constantly trying to hit on Peach. And then at the very end, what, wearing her down to the point where she accepts him, you know, that's I'm glad they didn't do that. Yeah, thumbs up. So three stars from Elliot. The Mario, three and a half, three and a half stars, it gets one half star off for not, you know, having any sort of story inspiration or emotional after. No, no, no funky Kong. The Mario Kart's take the rainbow road, which is like a giant rainbow, but it's a road
Starting point is 01:08:32 road. They're going to Asgard, apparently, to get the word to help them. Yeah, yeah, the Bifrost. Only to get ambushed by an army of coupa vehicles, what follows is a road battle with there's a lot of like characters doing stuff and then doing a fist pump and then things explode. The Vonted Kong army that Peach went all the way to Donkon Country to get to the Feet Bowser is destroyed almost instantly. Almost immediately.
Starting point is 01:08:58 Yeah. A suicide bomber blows up the rainbow road, causing Mario and Donkey Kong to plummet to their perceived dooms. The Kong army is seized by Bowser's flying robots and Peach and Toad have to escape alone on her little hover motor site. And then it's just the credits roll and there's a mid-credits scene where Peach and Toad is trying to convince Peach not to give up because maybe they can defeat Bowser and Peach goes, no, this is it.
Starting point is 01:09:22 You see and she shoots Toad and then shoots herself. And then it just cuts to Mario's drowned body, reaching out as if, you know, as if to try to tell Peach, no, it's not too late, but he's, they're all gone. And I think, and it says something, there's like a text piece after that that says, if you want to see the future, imagine Bowser's foot stomping on a human face. Yeah, that was, that was LA screenplay. Uh, or no, that was the screenplay for Rainbow Road by Kormack McCarthy, right? Or a person, the old, the rest of the,
Starting point is 01:09:49 the rest of the piece, rest it, rest in, in, in, in messing with the squares. Kormack McCarthy. This guy's been having a few magic mushrooms. That was what it's up. So what actually happens? Peach arrives at the mushroom kingdom and she evacuates all of the toads to where I don't know like they wander off.
Starting point is 01:10:16 Yeah, it's like leave. You're not mushrooms anymore. Just go do something else. Yeah, Bowser arrives. She's prepared to resist him, but he forces her to accept his marriage proposal with threats of violence. Mario and Donkey Kong briefly argue in the belly of a sea monster before discovering their rocket and they escape immediately. At the royal wedding, Bowser begins sacrificing the prisoners by lowering their
Starting point is 01:10:43 cages from some giant floating contraption. Big chains and stuff. Yeah, they're all going to fall in some lava. I would say he begins trying to sacrifice some visitors. I know when I actually dies. He doesn't go get through like five of them before. Even though that's that creepy star really wants to, the one with the child's place. And I would say it's kind of funny to see the characters showing up for the wedding.
Starting point is 01:11:04 All the different Mario bad. And I will say it's kind of funny to see the characters showing up for the wedding, all the different Mario bad guys. I did. I did. The giant bomb man with the mustache. Yeah, I know. I'm not a man with the musket King Booth, the giant ghost with the crown. William Howard TNT. Yeah. Yeah, I love it all. Okay, so yeah, at the royal wedding,, Peach has a stares there.
Starting point is 01:11:25 She dances on the ceiling, Dan. Can you believe that? No one would be able to replicate that technology until I'm richy 30 years later. I love the look on Stuart's face right? I interrupted him for a joke. He definitely knew the reference floor. So Princess Peach has something up her sleeve, that's right. She has isobilities, so she freezes Bowser and then freezes the like winch mechanism, saving the, briefly saving all the prisoners.
Starting point is 01:11:56 All, all showing that she is the hero of the movie. Yep. Mario and Donkey Kong arrive and they fight their way through a city of coupes using a variety of power ups and flips and whatnot. Donkey Kong rescues the captives, Mario manages to save Luigi and it's great. They're finally reunited. This is what this whole movie's been about. Bowser breaks out of his frozen shell. I mean, in the very beginning and then in this moment, but because in between Mario doesn't
Starting point is 01:12:23 even really talk about Luigi. No, it's nothing to have a care. Let's see, honestly. No. No. A bowser breaks out of his frozen shone, launches a giant bullet bill right for the mushroom kingdom, then Mario flies over at this point. He is a tanuki suit, which is a flying raccoon outfit.
Starting point is 01:12:39 Now, I don't know the tanuki suit and the flying raccoon outfit are the same. The tanuki suit, I think, is the one that let you turn into a statue, right? No, no, no, the raccoon, the to do key flies. I'm much. He may also be statue because it's the leaf that allows you to that allows you to, well, let's say, hold on. But, but, hmm, he can fly as a to do key, but it's, but it's, I think it is a slightly different suit. Maybe it's not. Maybe it does have a to do it. You know what guys? I don't care.
Starting point is 01:13:07 It turns out. Okay. Okay. So if I'm wrong, then please write me a letter and mail it to Elliott Kaling, care of does not give a shit. The Superman Brothers movie, no town, USA. And I didn't say Motown. I said no town.
Starting point is 01:13:19 Yeah. It's not a town. Right me a letter and then insert it into the slot on the sewer drainage near you. Now just take that letter and insert it into the slot because I don't care and I don't want to hear about it. Stuff it into the disk drive of your computer. And when you go to the nerd squad because your computer is broken, tell them, I am dumb and I thought Elliot would care about what does suit. Elliot is seriously going to the off brand IT. Okay. So Mario in his suit
Starting point is 01:13:53 distracts the giant bullet bill by slapping in the eye. It chases him around the kingdom briefly. Makes sense. Before Mario tricks it into going down a pipe and going into another dimension or something where it then explodes, explodes because this huge like rift or fall out. Now I thought it was the pipe that, is that not the pipe that goes right to Brooklyn? Or is it a problem? No, it's the pipe that's like in between. Oh, okay. So and it ends up sucking Mario Bowser, the whole gang, anything that's important gets
Starting point is 01:14:24 sucked into this pipe and they end up sucking Mario Bowser, the whole gang, anything that's important gets sucked into this pipe and they end up all landing in Brooklyn. What? What a homecoming. I don't remember this happening. I don't remember this happening. I don't remember this happening. I keep an eye on the news, but I don't call reading any stories, but when this occurred
Starting point is 01:14:38 and we got another Pinocchio here, guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? Give this movie a thousand panochios turns out none of these real. Yeah, I didn't have it. And here's the funny thing is, so the, the, the NYPD, they got plenty of time to hassle protesters, but when a giant spiky turtle man is literally blowing up buildings, they're nowhere to be found. No, I think, I think they're, they're waving their hands on their saying, this is what defunding us gets you. And we're like, we didn't defund you.
Starting point is 01:15:06 Cough cough, we're all sick. Cough cough, we can't stop this turtle. This is what giving us more money does. Wait, but hold on. Mario makes a stand against Bowser to no effect. Bowser whips his ass, throws him into the pizzeria we saw earlier. We're like, Mario's goose is cooked. Mario at this point begins to have a panic attack or something.
Starting point is 01:15:27 And I'm like, wow, yeah, the pressure here. He's had a rough couple of days. Did he bring on himself by trying to fix a flooding problem in a municipal sewer line? It's to a certain extent. Yes. But he was just trying to help. And now he's been, he's been away from home. All he's been a life savings on a commercial. Yeah. Okay, no good deed, you know. So Mario, have you heard the new No Good deed album? It's a bit of a disappointment, but yeah. Okay. So each and the rest of the time, they're trying something. They're trying something, you know, each of the restaurant. Every now and then you get every now and then you get a same anger. Okay. Bowser is beating the hell out of all of them, including
Starting point is 01:16:01 Donkey Kong. Mario then watches his commercial play on a TV and it gives him courage again. He remembers the way he's doing this all for celebrity status to help his fledgling plumbing business. Yeah. Yeah. Bowser is doing some like serious like anime level fire breathing. Looks like Mario's dead. Luigi blocks it with a giant manhole cover, Peach throws them a superstar, which they catch at the absolute last minute. So they show up and they're all infallnable and then they annihilate Bowser. What then? No, I just like, well, yeah, they get an invincible star and it's like what, what Ali was saying
Starting point is 01:16:40 about the Donkey Kong scene, times a million where I'm just like, oh great, well I guess that Mario is ultimate. Triumph is because he got this thing that made him invincible so he punched real good. Yeah, it has nothing to do with who he is as a person, what he stands for, and he's sort of inner strength. There's no reason Peach couldn't have just used the superstar herself. Exactly. Are you sure she wouldn't have been way better at it? She wouldn't better.
Starting point is 01:17:09 But I think the difference here, Dan, is I think by empowering Mario and Luigi who are not twins necessarily, but our brothers. They're calling back to the supposed appearance of Kaster and Pollock's at the battle of Lake Regulus. Yes, I think we're right. When Tarkwyn is the super bus, the last king of the during the mythical regal period of at the battle of like, regulus. When, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, saying, look, I could use this superstar into feet Bowser, but you know what? I like to delegate and I like to empower those under me. That's the secret of the manager.
Starting point is 01:17:50 Yeah. Yeah, you need this win right now more than I do, but it really, it is, but you're right. It's like, it's not that Mario uses anything he has learned throughout the movie at this point. It's like, it's like, power ups are often good. Yeah. It's like, they put your power up. They do.
Starting point is 01:18:08 Like at the end of the mighty ducks, they were like, guys, let's just do steroids and we'll be stronger with every other team. And they win. I love that part. That fly the routine. We don't need it because we're exact. And the other teams are like, can't they see? Like, look how mighty they are. They can't be that mighty without chemical help.
Starting point is 01:18:28 Yeah, yeah. And there's that scene where that mighty naturally. Yeah, there's that scene where they have to buy clean piss from somebody before they come to the pool. Yeah, yeah. Zero, I'm going to get tested. They cut that out for the Disney Plus release, unfortunately, but then the outcry brought it back in again.
Starting point is 01:18:45 Yeah, they brought it back in. It was because when they cropped the movie, the guy that duck-bying piss was just out of frame. Exactly. When they cropped it because it was shot, like a television show. Yeah, so, uh, Is it really, have you guys seen any of the screenshots online of, uh, that now that friends is being shown in a 16 by nine, uh, you'll see like the edge of the screen where the set stops and things like that. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:13 It's pretty great. Look it up. No, man. I don't take my word for it. Go to your local librarian. You see it in that streaming service to show you friends. Oh, great. Uh, uh, so, uh So or don't support streaming services.
Starting point is 01:19:27 This is all their fault. Yeah, so that's true. Don't support streaming services. Yeah, so the desk that I'm destroying the business that Dan Irons. So so much like at the end of Justice League, where Superman proves he's the best hero by punching the bad guy so hard in the face that he can't even talk. Martin Luigi proved their heroes by just how using power to beat a bowser? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:47 So the dust has settled. They take bowser, they make him tiny using a power up. And they have. Once again, Drunk Chemical help is the answer in this one. Yeah. They've managed to impress their parents. They've managed to impress Spike, their former employer. And I guess they've impressed the people of mushroom kingdom.
Starting point is 01:20:06 This is the funny thing here. This is the funny thing here. They've impressed everybody. Nobody seems to be at all bewildered by the fact that a giant turtle man has been breathing fire and their, and their, and their sons used the help of a gorilla man to, to stop enough mushroom man. They just take that and stride and then cut to what the newspaper headline, right? So yeah, tango and cash. Yeah, tango and cash. Yeah, tango and cash.
Starting point is 01:20:28 Whatever. And it says like Brooklyn saved. And it's a picture of like the Mario Brothers and Donkey Kong and that nope, the headline should be like magical talking gorilla discovered. Like that's the real story here. I mean, Brooklyn saved his slightly bigger story. I just heard cosmology of University thoughts. here. I mean, Brooklyn saved his slightly bigger story. I guess we have to stop eating gorillas. You can have my gorilla hamburger. So the dust is so bad. You take a Michael dead-hand story. So the dust is settled.
Starting point is 01:21:05 No, you're not even a gorilla burger. A gorilla hamburger. Well, it's not like a fucking beef burger is made of ham, Ellie. When it's made in Hamburg, Germany, it's a hamburger, Ellie. It's a gorilla. It's a hamburger style gorilla sandwich, yeah. It comes in a hamburger. They serve it to you. They serve it in a hat. Yeah, that's the only way. If they don't serve it to you in a hat, they legally can't call it a gorilla ham.
Starting point is 01:21:34 You're not allowed to get destroyed at port. By the way, Dan, have you heard the new album by Salvador Dali as my waiter? Bangers, none of them. I don't know. I'm not into jam bands. Flash forward, the Mario Brothers wake up. Uh, they are plumbers. Who do a mushroom kingdom?
Starting point is 01:21:52 What? That's because it's in the movie. And that's the end of the movie. Rents in New York have gotten so high that they've had to move to the mushroom kingdom. For a while. So they're, they're kind of not colonizing the mushroom. You watch the post-credits scene. Did you?
Starting point is 01:22:03 Oh, fuck. Turn this shit off so fast, guys. I'm sorry. So the post-credits scene is a big old nothing. It's a joke scene, right? Well, no, there's, there's a Yoshi egg in like the real world now. And the music is, I don't think, I don't think even I saw this post-credits. Yeah, there's like, and was it live action or animated? Because if it was live action, I'll be really mad right now. Yeah, it's, it's going into the original Super Mario Brothers movie. So when Dan says the real world, do you mean the real world of Brooklyn movie, not
Starting point is 01:22:32 the movie? In Brooklyn, not a documentary. Yeah, it's not the ending of the original screenplay years ago for Watch Men where they end up in our world, the very. Yeah, and it's like shaking a little bit and there's like, minising music. And I found this minising music so baffling because you know Yoshi is a good guy right? And I don't understand why they're like, oh no, Yoshi's gonna be let loose on Brooklyn. They're like oh no, shenanigans. If you're gonna do that, if you're gonna set up a possible
Starting point is 01:23:02 sequel, which obviously they're gonna have this thing was a huge hit like we said. They're enormous. Yeah. Like have a Wario come in. Yes. You know, you've got to save him for the third installment because then it's going to be a trilogy. Wario's in the third installment.
Starting point is 01:23:16 That's the big, bigger reveal with this one. Get the infinity mushrooms. That's going to be Bowser again, right? Yeah, this John because he gets loose. There's not that many Mario villains. So is that a rugs gallery? No, not really. It's just Bowser and Wario basically.
Starting point is 01:23:29 Like hammer brothers, but they're not like that. But they work for Bowser. Everyone works for Bowser. Wario's the only, Wario's an agent of chaos. It's an independent contract. You have one enough plumbing. Yep. So, yep, so that's the end of the movie, guys.
Starting point is 01:23:45 Final judgments, Dan. You're in the next movie. Yes. A good movie. A bad, bad movie. A movie. We kind of like, look, I'm gonna couch this in a few things. Okay.
Starting point is 01:23:55 Okay. Number one, this movie doesn't have to be for me. I understand this is primarily a movie for children. You know, and for the young at heart and those who refuse to grow up. No, no, those people should not be watching it. But actual children, look, yeah, this is a good Mario Brothers movie for kids. Is it a better Mario Brothers movie for kids than the Bob Hoskins inexplicable one, as Ellie said?
Starting point is 01:24:24 No, certainly. 100,000%. Would I, an adult human, rather watch the Bob Hoskins one again? Because at least it's like compellingly strange, 1,000%. Like, this is, I don't even really begrudge people who like Mario liking this movie. You can like if you like it. It's fine, but at the same time, this movie does make me angry in the way that it adds absolutely nothing.
Starting point is 01:25:00 I was watching this movie at the beginning, I'm like, this isn't so bad. I'm consistently diverted at least by what's happening. They're bright colors and shapes moving around. That's all Dan wants out of a movie. My toddler brain enjoyed it. He let Babylon as it, oh, shut up. I mean, Babylon doesn't even have bright colors as the things that barely has shapes. As it went on though, I like, I did become angry in a sort of a meta way where I'm like,
Starting point is 01:25:28 this movie was a huge hit. There will be more of them and it succeeded by setting the lowest bar and clearing it. And that kind of does make me angry in a larger way because I kind of felt like there's nothing I'm going to take from this movie. Like the experience of watching Super Mario Brothers the movie and looking at a blank wall for two hours in terms of what I take away from it is about equal. I mean, probably more in the blank wall for two hours in terms of what I take away from it is about equal. I mean, probably more in the blank wall because I would have gotten my own thinking maybe worked through like some of my own writing or emotional issues or whatever.
Starting point is 01:26:15 Yeah, yeah. So look, there's nothing quote and quote bad about this movie, but it is a bad movie. Yeah, no, you're right. I mean, it is, I don't, I don't have children, so I don't watch a lot of, like, I don't know, like, shows for kids. If you watch a fair amount of kids movies, but you watch the better class of kids movies, I get, I mean, I guess, but like, I don't like watch, like, what, blueie is blueie a thing?
Starting point is 01:26:42 Blueie is the thing, though. Blueie is the thing. I don't watch stuff that's like directed like to little children. So like there's a. Not even the movie little children, which don't show you the little children. That was a mistake. That was a mistake.
Starting point is 01:26:54 What is he doing while he's doing? What is he doing while he's sitting in that car next to the playground? We should watch a different movie. I did show them the instructional video. Children shouldn't play with that. Thanks. Yeah. That's a lesson. I mean, yeah the instructional video. Children shouldn't play with dead things. That's a lesson you should learn. Yeah, you don't want to have to learn that life.
Starting point is 01:27:08 Yeah, you don't want to learn that through experience because experience is a fool's teacher. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I, I'm not going to if, if somebody likes the Super Mario Brothers movie, I get it. I would hope that they have other outlets for, for interacting with, I don't know, culture, entertainment or something, higher standards for emotional residents. But yeah, this is, I mean, this is like a, like a nothing of a movie. It's, it is, like, it is like a commercial. It's like a really long commercial, and it's fine, whatever. It's just, yeah, it's barely a commercial. It's like a really long commercial and it's fine, whatever. It's just, yeah, it's barely a movie. It's hard to even call it a movie to me other than because
Starting point is 01:27:51 of the runtime and the fact that it says that the title. It was in movie theaters. Yeah. Now, I agree with what you guys are saying completely. I agree with it. My kids loved it. I would say I'm going to give a slightly larger, it was not a movie for me. I found it yeah, boring and lazy, but I would say I'm going to to give a slightly larger, it was not a movie for me. I found it. Yeah. And lazy. But I would say, I'm going to put in a slightly larger context. This movie, I'm being, it's hard for me not to be a little unfair to it because I think
Starting point is 01:28:12 I would be less frustrated with this movie if it was coming out at a time when there were other kinds of movies being made and being put in theaters. One of the hundreds. And then I could bring my family to or not. The fact that we, we, that if this would bother me less, if we weren't living in a world where so many of the big movies coming out were just IP driven brand extension movies. And where it didn't feel so much like the number one objective was to just press whatever sensory button is built in from fans fans for fans of the material that just
Starting point is 01:28:45 want to see what's in the material. And I come to say that coming as a Marvel fan to Marvel movies where one of the things I initially found exciting about the Marvel movies is that they were respecting the material. They were treating it as a thing to be adapted straight forwardly and not just as crap to be ripped off or done, however, because no one cares. It's garbage. So I'm excited that they're showing, for Mario fans out there, it's probably exciting that they're showing that minimum amount of respect to the material.
Starting point is 01:29:13 That being said, the Marvel movies are also adapted from stories and Mario is not being adapted from a story, but from a mostly personality list kind of series of sprites that you are about to control. Like a skill or a video game. Yes, exactly. And so it's, but it would bother me so much less if it wasn't, if it didn't feel like this was the kind of thing that nine out of ten movies being made are and the other one out of ten are adult movies for adults that get released only to streaming services. So it's, so I'm being unfair to it partly because of the climate it's coming out in.
Starting point is 01:29:49 But I'm going to say it is, it's fine for kids. I wish that the message of the movie was not that to defeat your enemies, you just have to beat the shit out of them using weapons, essentially, like that you are, that you, there was some other way. You prefer bare hands, right? Yes, exactly. I mean, you, I mean, the body is the ultimate weapon. Uh, yes.
Starting point is 01:30:09 I know that if they're with, if the, if the, it feels like the movie is going towards a like never give up message, but it doesn't actually do that. And so I wish there was, I wish that they had at least, I'm not as annoyed as I was with the movie Ferdinand where they have Ferdinand fight a bullfighter at the end when the whole point of Ferdinand is that he is incredibly, he's a pacifist. He's incredibly passive and he refuses to fight, but it is annoying to me that they couldn't even at least like do something with the characters that least gives the kids some other message
Starting point is 01:30:37 than like video games are great and fighting is cool and uses superstar and beats someone up, you know. Yeah. But I would be easier on the movie like I'm saying if it was an outlier and not so much of what the mainstream is right now. Yeah, it doesn't feel like the the focus of all the way that it wouldn't bother me so much that Chris Pratt is playing in a competent who is the star even though there's a woman who's bettered everything than them who should be the hero of the movie if that didn't already
Starting point is 01:31:03 exist as a trope, you know, or anything like that. So I guess what I'm saying is thumbs up, best movie of the year. Go see it. 10 out of 10. 100 stars. Move over. Seven samurai because there's a new best epic adventure about a band of heroes. And it's called the Super Mario Brothers movie.
Starting point is 01:31:19 Hey, speaking of video games and bright colors, our show today is sponsored by Microdose Gammy's. Hey, speaking of video games and bright colors, our show today is sponsored by Microdose Gummies. Microdose Gummies deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. I talk a lot about chilling or enjoying them for recreation. I want to talk a little bit about it. It's time for Max and I relax and shoot people all outside of the school.
Starting point is 01:31:41 Man, am I? But I also, I want to talk about how they can be used to make a feel a little bit better. I have a lot of joint pain. Some of it is we're old men because yes, I just entered my mid 40s. I just had a birthday, everybody. So you should, I mean, when we record this, when you listen to it, it's been weeks and dance well past. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:08 Appreciating any attention. Yeah, that's right. I don't like any attention at all. I hate it. But I have a lot of joint pain. I, some of it, I may have some early arthritis. It's not good. It's not fun.
Starting point is 01:32:24 You know, it can help with that sometimes, take a little microdose gummy, take the edge off those aching joints and muscles. That's what you do with joints and muscles, right? You take the edge off of them, take the edge off that thing, man. Yeah, you wanna sand down your shoulder? You can't even try to sand down your muscles. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:42 Well, if this interests you, some muscle sanding, microse is available nationwide to learn more about microse and THC. Go to microse.com and use code flop to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description, but again, that is micdose.com codeFLOP. You know, the world has changed. I feel it in my bones. I taste it on the air. I taste it in the water.
Starting point is 01:33:16 I smell it in the trees. And that's why you need a website. A website made by Squarespace. You know, Squarespace is an all-in-one platform that can help you create just that, a website that you can sell anything, you can engage in your with your audience, and it's going to look great. Squarespace has powerful blogging tools to share stories, photos, and videos. You can categorize, share and schedule your posts to make your content work for you.
Starting point is 01:33:49 You gain powerful insights into who's visiting your site and how they're interacting with your content with our in-depth website analytics tools, including page views, traffic sources, time onsite, most red content, et cetera. You don't have to rely on tasting the water, smelling the air, feeling things in your bones. Squarespace will help you with that. Squarespace has all the tools you need to get your business off the ground,
Starting point is 01:34:13 including e-commerce templates, inventory management, a simple checkout process and secure payments. A lot of things that, obviously, well beyond me, Squarespace makes it easy for you. Well, beyond me, Squarespace makes it easy for you. So head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh my gosh, hi, it's me Dave Holmes, host of the Pop Culture Game Show Troubled Waters. On Troubled Waters, we play a whole host of games, like, one where I describe a show using Limerick that I guess have to figure out what it is.
Starting point is 01:34:54 Let's do one right now. What show am I talking about? This podcast has game after game, and brilliant guests who complain. I was his name, Dave. It could be your faith, so try it. Life won't be the same. Uh, a big business starring Pat Miller in Lily Tomlin. Close.
Starting point is 01:35:09 But no. Oh, is it troubled waters? The pop culture quiz show with all your favorite comedians? Yes, troubled waters is the answer. To this question and all of my life's problems. Now legally, we actually can't guarantee that. But you can find it on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. J.Keeze, do you know what I love more than the trivia, comedy, and celebrity guests on
Starting point is 01:35:32 our podcast go fact yourself? No, what, Ellen? Sharing all of those things with an actual audience. A live audience! Woohoo! Well, lucky for you listeners, go fact yourself as brand new episodes featuring live audiences cheering on guests every month. And we still have all of our Zoom episodes with contestants and experts from around the world. We can truly have it all!
Starting point is 01:35:54 Yay! You can hear it all twice a month every month on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. Yeah, no excuses, so if you're not listening... You can go sacked yourself. The next thing is letters from listeners. People who listen to the show, just like you, right in. Just like you.
Starting point is 01:36:19 And then we talk to them. Kind of a one-way conversation, because they wrote the letter down and we just respond, but that's the way it works, guys. And I hope I've adequately explained letters. This one. This one. No, it's from Brian Lassay with Health. Who writes? Dear Flopsters. In second grade, my teacher was asking the class, for examples of homophones.
Starting point is 01:36:47 Everyone else in the class was giving examples like, there, there, and there, and main and main. I raised my hand, was called on and said, Harry and Harry, and my teacher responded, no, no, that's not a homophone because they're pronounced differently. The name was pronounced hairy instead of hairy. I was the only example in the class that was rejected by the teacher and was horribly embarrassing to me as an eight year old. Fast forward to 2023 and in the poker face episode, the three of you made the joke that Harry Poppins is also the name of the porn parody,
Starting point is 01:37:25 but Harry is spelled slightly differently. Applying to the title would be called Harry Poppins, which I assume refers to pubic hair. I can't begin to tell you how vindicated I thought were my favorite podgashers agreed with me that Harry and Harry are pronounced the same and are therefore homophobic. Yeah, I'm losing my fucking mind. They're pronounced the same right? Keep on homophrey. Yeah, I'm losing my fucking mind. There are plans the same, right? Keep on homophoaming in the free world.
Starting point is 01:37:48 Brian Lesson with me. I hate to stop on Brian's dreams, but Harry and Harry actually don't sound the same to me. Really? I know they do to other people though. This is an argument I've had in my wife many times. Oh, you have those super refined listening ears. I do.
Starting point is 01:38:04 My ears are all that there are different parts of the country where different words sound the same. And then they don't in other places. To me, the words marry, like the name Mary, Mary, like you marry someone and Mary, like I'm feeling Mary today, sound differently. But to my wife who's from Northern California, they are all the same sound, Mary, Mary, Mary. Whereas to me, they are three separate sounds. And so, Brian, you are both right and wrong at the same time. I call it Schrodinger's pronunciation. You know, I was listening to Judge John Hodgman, you know, and our pals Hodgman and Jesse Thorn were talking.
Starting point is 01:38:38 And it was a, they were having a, someone wrote in about, is it, you get, you'll get what you get and you won't get upset or is it, you get, you'll get what you get and you won't get upset, or is it you'll get what you get and you won't throw a fit. What? And, yeah, well, they, um, that doesn't, because, oh, because to them, that rhymes, but it doesn't rhyme objectively. They use the thing. Unless it's you get what you get and you won't throw a fit, like you won't throw boba fit.
Starting point is 01:39:04 Yeah. Or a party. They were upset about it because they're like those words, what are you talking? Like they were, they were gobsmacked by the idea that anyone would think that getting get or fit like sound alike. That rhyme, yeah. As someone who constantly receives abuse on this podcast for not really making a lot of which on touch on Hunchman you get abuse different. Yeah, they have a regular segment called crap
Starting point is 01:39:32 on Dan where they just they just talk about how much they don't like Dan what Dan did. Yeah, Dan on Dan. The very, I sounds to me don't have much difference if any. And I was enraged at their professed baffledments that anyone could possibly think that those words. I hope you wrote in, but actually, did you hear the new professed baffledment album? That, that's a crazy album. It's like so jazzy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And uh, no, I love it. Yeah. Uh, but so Dan, did you write in to judge? No, but I think that there should be less homophone policing going on just like most movies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We often send the police
Starting point is 01:40:20 to deal with homophone issues that could be dealt with by, by, it, you know, you know, health professionals, medical professionals, or just local, just local storekeepers, yeah. Or respectful respected, like a, like a cuffs situation. Cuffs, yeah. Now what was later, you know, wanted to do sort of a Beverly top, you know, what I'm just going to say right here, I don't think there's situations that Christian Slater is going to handle better than the police. I know that's, that's, it's a, I don't think there's situations that Christian Slater is going to handle better than the police. I know that's, that's, it's a, I don't think the police handle all those situations correctly.
Starting point is 01:40:49 I don't think Christian Slater is going to do a better job. Jack Nicholson impressions. Oh, wow. All right. Fair point, fair point. Also, hard rain. Yeah, fair point. Okay.
Starting point is 01:40:58 There's a hard rain situation. You don't want to send the police to deal with hard rain. Just send Christian Slater. Yeah. You're pretty well with that broken arrow thing that happened. That was a movie, Dan. That wasn't a real thing. Do you think if Austin Butler got cast in the Jack Nicholson biopic, Christian Slater
Starting point is 01:41:11 would be really mad because Austin Butler would be so much better at doing Jack Nicholson than him? Yes. I do think. Okay. Cool. That's the answer I needed. This is the next letter.
Starting point is 01:41:21 There's only one. There's only one up. Then they'd have to get together for a jack off. See who's best good old fashion Check off. This is from Kenny last name with held Powers who are probably probably fictional character Kenny powers is right. We get a lot of letters from fictional characters. Yeah This letter goes hello fro
Starting point is 01:41:43 So written in capitals. It's got to be Kenny Powers. I already misspoke. Hello, Flopperoonies. I'm a recent convert to the flop house. I'm actually Andy Rooney, not a flopperoonie, but thank you. Oh, well, thank you for just starting to listen. We appreciate it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:58 Yeah, thank you. Our community outreach efforts have finally paid off. I had been subscribed. Well, this is interesting. This is interesting. This is interesting. That we bought during the Super Bowl, finally netted us a one listener. Gost a lot, but I said it would work. I do like this next bit.
Starting point is 01:42:12 I had been subscribed for a long time, but I'd never listened to an episode. Oh, okay. Well, that raises more questions than answers. Yeah. Hey, you know what? You know, I, to be fair, there's a lot of stuff out there. And I have that too, or I'll hear about a podcast and I'll start describing to it and never get around to listening to it because I like the ones I listen to normally.
Starting point is 01:42:32 That's right. Yeah. And I have a lot of them at this point. So it's a high bar to join the rotation. But this person finally, uh, have you, Dan, have you heard the new album from high bar to join the rotation? Okay, okay. Uh, uh, I never listened to an episode.
Starting point is 01:42:50 That all changed when I just could not get enough black Adam discourse. The day I started listening was also the same day. I went to see a repertoire screening of hard target in Brooklyn still listening to the podcast. I took out my earbuds as I was writing the escalator and thought I was going crazy because I could still hear Dan talking. Now that I follow him on Letterbox, however, I know I'm not crazy because he had a hard target logged that day as well. That right. That's right. Seeing him a podcast host saw a movie the same night as me proves that I'm
Starting point is 01:43:22 not crazy. They also write. as I listen to more episodes, I quickly realize that as a resident of Sunset Park, I've been to many several times. No, that's pretty cool. Anyway, I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head and I simply could not subject my wife to listening to me talk about another podcast. So I thought I'd just send an email and say,
Starting point is 01:43:40 thank you for making a show. I like a lot, Kenny Lasting withheld. I feel like if you go to the movies in Brooklyn or Manhattan, there's like a 50% chance you're going to run into Dan or like Griffin Newman or something. Yeah. We are human beings who exist in meat space as well. And go to a lot of. And go to a lot. And go to a lot. There's a lot of New Yorkers who exist in meat spaces, human beings who you will not run into at a movie theater. It's similar to how I used to see Wallace Sean in the audience of plays because he's
Starting point is 01:44:11 a guy who goes to see a lot of plays, not just that everyone in New York goes to plays all the time and you will eventually see them, you know. Yeah, you're like, yeah, you know, a normal New York experiencing Wallace Sean everywhere. And people are like, I don't have that experience at all. I was like, I was like, I saw Wallacea shawnt again the other day. And they're like, ooh, I was like, yeah, from the Princess bride and clueless. And they're like, not familiar. And I go, the author of Ant Dan and Lemon, oh, yeah, right. Wait, you're familiar with his plays, but you didn't remember his name. Yeah. Yeah. I think I've told the story
Starting point is 01:44:43 of this before that one time I was in, uh, often it would be it. I would be with my grandmother when we would be in the audience of a play and Wallace Sean would also be the audience. There was one time it was a very small theater and during the intermission she's very loudly saying, who's that man over there? What's his name? He's an actor and I was like, Wallace Sean.
Starting point is 01:44:59 Yeah, I can't hear you. Say it louder. What was his name? His father edited the New Yorker. What's his name? His name is Wallace Sean. Well, I can't hear you. Say it louder. And his name? His father edited the New Yorker. What's his name? His name is Wallace Sean. Well, I can't hear you say it louder. And Wallace Sean is, I think, two rows away. And the whole thing could have easily stood up at any point and said, my name is Wallace
Starting point is 01:45:13 Sean, but decided to ignore my grandmother. Yeah. I mean, I was seated two tables down from Ethan Hawke at a restaurant before we show the other day. He's quite an invitation. Ethan Hudson Hawk himself. Yeah. And I had a similar situation where I was like, oh, wow, that's Ethan Hawk over there in Charlene's like, what? I'm not going to say it again.
Starting point is 01:45:33 Reality, what? Gannacle. First, who? Training, what? training what? So this is the part of the show where we recommend movies that we saw and enjoyed and maybe would be a better use of your time than the Super Mario Brothers movie. It's not even possible. Because as Elliott mentioned, we were both in the UK not together, all the like I was, I was arriving in Edinburgh just as it was leaving which almost feels insulting but I feel my trip like months ago. But Elliot Dan and our producer were all in the same time and I'm like, why did are you
Starting point is 01:46:17 guys doing a fucking show without me? Yeah, you see that you stumbled the next day on the website that just says, flop house sells out royal Albert Hall, biggest show in British history. But I'm the most flexible. I think it was my life. This is how unflexible I am, is that our producer Alex and I tried to find a time to meet up. And even when we were in the same city in a foreign country, we could not find a moment too, where I was free enough to go meet him. But this was the first, this was the first genuine invitation, sorry, vacation that we
Starting point is 01:46:51 kind of went on since COVID. And it was in honor of my parents 60th wedding anniversary, which is not important to the story. But I want to wish them, Dan doesn't consider the trip we did Puerto Rico to be a vacation. It was like a weekend thing. It was not, I mean, it was a weekend thing. That's how I described it. Anyway, okay, the second time. Yes, thank you. Perfect. But you got them. No more Pinocchio's. Pinocchio rescinded. The return of the summer vacation comes the return of the plane movies, guys. the return of the plane movies guys. I recommend a movie. I watched on a plane.
Starting point is 01:47:29 Yeah. Now Dan, did you watch 80 for Brady, the movie that nearly everyone on both flights I took was watching? Wow. No, I didn't. That's in like everybody was laughing so hard. The plane almost fell out of sky. Yeah, we almost crashed because the pilot was laughing so hard because he was watching
Starting point is 01:47:43 it too. It was in the Stewart recommend section of the movies. Everyone was watching either 80 for Brady or a man called Otto. And I'm like, I guess movie stars are what pull people in. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah, I watched a movie very similar, of course, to 80 for Brady called women talking, the screenplay.
Starting point is 01:48:03 Everyone starts as a woman talking and becomes an 80 for Brady, yeah, sure. Sarah Polly, right? Sarah Polly, written, directed. Someone I've admired very much both as an actress and a filmmaker. This one's great. It's a movie that the subject matter is very tragic. Is it an ammonite community? They're like these women. Ammonites are fossil, are our shell extinct shellfish, but menonites are, it is a sort of sort of man-ite omission. Is it extinct shellfish or is it a community of people? So there's a community of, so that's the thing is the women are all playing extinct shellfish. This is less, this is less respect. The subject of this movie should get better. I mean, really think about, where do you think about the movie Ammonite, which is about women,
Starting point is 01:48:53 but is, but is their fossil fossil fossil? Possibly, possibly. Anyway, it's about women in a restrictive religious community who have discovered that the men have been drugging and raping them, which lends a terrible tone to all of the hijinks of the last few minutes. But I'm glad we made fun of your basic mispronunciation before we had revealed that to the audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm glad that this comedy podcast, it's made a joke. It's a... But anyway. The women in the community, as the men have gone to bail these monsters out there, deciding what they should do, whether they should say, whether they should leave, whether they should fight, what they should do about it.
Starting point is 01:49:39 And it is what it says, is women talking and debating this. And it could be a very dry movie with sort of the broad outlines of just like, it's about a meeting essentially, but. Like the Phantom Menace. Yeah. I mean, it is both more, it is both, it is both more exciting than the Phantom Menace and more suspenseful and more interesting. All three of those things.
Starting point is 01:50:11 I said both and I said more than two things, but it is very compelling. It is full of a lot of rage and sadness, but also kindness and hope. And it's a movie that is very complex in this worldview. Like these women have been held down by the strictures of power in their community, but they also find a lot of strength from their religious faith going forward. And it's just a bunch of tremendous actors, you know, in a room, acting, you know, tremendously. Oh, well, you can give me some names. Who's in this thing? Um, geez, uh, like I can't remember their names. Have you heard of Frances McDorman perhaps?
Starting point is 01:51:05 She would have you. So briefly in it though. Yeah, she's not in it very much. It's it's almost bad. Baffling. It's I can't remember the woman. Have you heard of Ben Wiesha who's not a woman, but is in the movie quite a bit? Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:51:17 Yeah, I've heard of him. Who's the woman in I'm thinking of ending things. She is Jessie Buckley. Jessie Buckley. She's in. Oh, from in. She's Jessie Buckley. She's Jessie Bennett. She's in a lot of your favorites. Claire Foy, a lot of great performers,
Starting point is 01:51:32 shoes I be. But yeah, I'm surprisingly it's very good. That sounds good. Yeah, I put that off. I think that was one of the only best picture. It was a best picture nominee, right?
Starting point is 01:51:44 Yes, it was. That was one of, one of the few that I put off, but maybe that's one that, that's one that, I mean, give it a walk. It's very easy to think it's a movie that's just going to be upsetting only. And maybe you're not in the mood for that, but it hits a lot more tones that, and is, you know, just, it's kind of transforming in certain ways.
Starting point is 01:52:07 Cool. Okay. Hey guys, I am going to break the rules of our podcast. I'm not going to recommend a movie at all. What? I know. Get out. Get the fuck out of here. Nope. Nope. I'm one third owner. I can do what I want. You know someone and someone and then, and then they betray you like this. Yes, you stabbed in the back because of something. Is it me? Did I do something? Dan is my fault. It is you.
Starting point is 01:52:33 Yes, no, it's you. It's your fault. You made this happen. I am not going to recommend a movie. I'm going to recommend a TV program. I'm going to recommend a show that was on, I think HBO about a year or so ago. It is the Luca Guadaguino series.
Starting point is 01:52:51 We are who we are or wait, we are what we got. Damn it. I can't remember what the name is. Give me a second. I'm going to remember anything. It's not our, our, our, we are, we are who we are. Yep. We are Marshall.
Starting point is 01:53:04 Thank you. So it is.. Thank you. So it is. So it is. Boom, boom, boom. We are Marshall. So I mentioned this on the show before, but I'm a huge fan of Luke of Guadagnos film work. He manages to make these movies that are very romantic and also very like tactile and lush and beautiful. And this show kind of continues that. It's about
Starting point is 01:53:27 a group of teenagers who live on an American military base in Italy in 2016. So you have a little bit of backdrop of the 2016 election in the base, you know, the world events at that time. And it's impressive in that like as the show begins and you're introduced to these characters in this world, you, I mean, at least for me, I did not like some of the characters at all. And as the show continues, you, like you get to know these, the characters in there, you know, various, at their high points, at their worst points. And I don't know, if it felt very beautiful to me and very real. And as the show wrapped up, I, you know, I missed them now. So despite, you know, their flaws, I found it to be a very moving show.
Starting point is 01:54:24 You might not, you might not have the patience or interest in it, but we are who we are. I thought it was a lot of fun, and I didn't really hear anybody talking about it, but if that kind of thing interests you, check it out. And I am gonna change gears and follow the rules for once, like a good little boy, and recommend a movie.
Starting point is 01:54:41 Because it's a movie podcast. I don't think it's called the flop tube, although sometimes it is called two-boy talking tube to two dudes tonight. I'll write. Or today, yes, way. Today, yes, way. This is gonna be a kind of different thing for me, guys.
Starting point is 01:54:56 I'm gonna recommend a check new wave movie. Have I done that before? Oh. So I, No, what's a check new wave? So that's a good point. Have you guys heard the new check new wave album? So
Starting point is 01:55:07 the film movement from the mid 1960s to the It had kind of petered out by the late 1960s because the government was cracking down on free expression in Czechoslovakia, but Czech filmmakers, they did some amazing work in the 60s and this is a movie that I've been wanting to see for a while, and I finally found it on YouTube with a mostly pretty good English sub-titling. And it's written and directed by Eerie Menzel, who made my favorite check movie, closely watched trains. This movie is called Lark's on a String.
Starting point is 01:55:35 And it stars among other people, the same lead from a closely watched train, so there's part of an ensemble here. This is a movie that was made in 1969, but it was banned by the Czech government and not released officially until 1990. And it's the story of the relationships and ex-entrificities of a small group of men and women who are being forced to work at a junkyard as part of their re-education by the communist government. And that makes it sound very dour, but it's actually a really light,
Starting point is 01:56:02 fun movie for most of the runtime. It's a very funny kind of warm movie, and it's all about the need for human connection, and how even when you're under an oppressive government, people still feel the need to flirt, to fall in love, and to make friends, and so forth, and kind of shows how that oppressiveness, that oppression makes that harder, but it doesn't go away. And there's this really wonderful scene in it
Starting point is 01:56:22 where the characters trick the guy guarding them into leaving his post so they can all kind of crowd around a barrel fire together on a cold day. And the sheer pleasure that they get from just standing close to each other and kind of having their hands close to each other is just really beautiful. It's a really, I found it would be a really moving scene.
Starting point is 01:56:41 So it's a really warm, sweet movie. It's very delightful times, but it still manages by the very, and to leave a very bleak, uncomfortable taste in your mouth. And for most of the movie, I was like, why did they ban this? But then the end, I was like, I understand why they ban this.
Starting point is 01:56:53 Like I get it. The cumulative effect of it. I will warn you, there's one scene that I found off-putting where two characters, I think, are being presented as creepy perverts, and I think the movie is not finding it funny, but I am not totally sure. So that one scene I did not, I was a little too far for me. But otherwise I found it to be, aside from that one scene, I found it to just be like just a really kind of beautiful, very sweet movie that still managed to have
Starting point is 01:57:21 this kind of, is, you know, you're a cookie full of arsenic, like it, like they say in sweet smell of success. And I can see where they banned it. And I'm glad that eventually came out. It's really good. It's called Lark's on a string. Okay. Three movies recommended. Two movies and one abomination. Hey guys, it's just a television show. It's I'm just making, I'm just joking. It's TV show. Bob Mason doesn't have his own show yet anyway. No, he's only appeared in a couple of novel movies. Yeah, it shows. Yeah, it shows that's true.
Starting point is 01:57:51 Yeah. We've come to the end of another episode and you know what, the next one, it'll be our 400th. What? Four episodes. Amazing. Yeah, we, I think we should do a big movie like the Super Mario Brothers movie for that.
Starting point is 01:58:04 You know what? Well, we are doing a big movie like the Super Mario Brothers movie for that. You know what? Well, we are doing a big movie, but in a different way. We're doing one of the classics of the bad cinema cannon. Yes. Something that we have avoided in the past because maybe we felt like, oh, is there any more meat on that bone? But you know what? We're going to go suck on that bone.
Starting point is 01:58:22 Yeah, it's a non-at-bone crack. Yeah. Crack it open, suck the marrow out. Yeah, we're just going to have not that bone wreck bone town. Yeah, I think we can say we're going to we're going to talk about troll to to the best word to be. Yeah, not trolls to troll to troll to there's more than one troll in it, but it's just troll to I got me. Yeah, it's just troll to it's not trolls world to world tour. We're watching.
Starting point is 01:58:44 I can't believe they left singular troll. They could have just called it trolls world tour like T W O R. But it was the second they could have. But yeah, they didn't I will say trolls world tour is the movie that introduced my son to the song Barakuda. So I'll give it that although he never first that song as the song from trolls world tour, which I fans me. It's not from trolls world. So I'll give it that, although he now refers to the song as the song from Trolls World Tour, which it offends me. It's not from Trolls World Tour. I mean, it's in it, but it's not fun. Anyway, Troll 2, that's the movie we're going to be talking about. Yeah. The, the, the, often called the best worst movie, is it really find out when the flop boys taken on for a 400th episode, regular episode, spectacular. Wow, that's, what, 16 years of doing the podcast.
Starting point is 01:59:27 Yeah, what? Yeah, don't remind me, yeah, crazy. What a life. Anyway. Well, I've never seen the life flesh before the eyes of a living person before. So much of it was Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany to find actors.
Starting point is 01:59:46 They should get better agents. Anyway, yeah, this has been great. If you like the show, please tell your friends. If you don't like the show, keep it to yourself. Why not? If you love the Super Mario Brothers movie and you're like super mad that we didn't like it that much. Super Mario Brothers, yeah. You know what?
Starting point is 02:00:05 Our opinion? Don't mean shit to you. Don't worry about it. Ignoring it. That's fine. Like it. That's cool too. Thanks for listening though, and thank you to Maximum Fun.
Starting point is 02:00:16 If you like this podcast, there are other great podcasts over at MaximumFun.org. That is our podcasting network. If you like the sound of the show, that is all thanks to our producer, Alex Smith. You can find him on various socials under the name Howell.doddy.htl. D-A-W-D-Y. You did it. You did it. You did it. The job. Alex. Now, can you use it as an example? Easier to spell. Moniker next time. can you use it as an easy spell? Monica next time. Can you use it in a sentence now? Go watch the Twitch stream that Howell Dottie does.
Starting point is 02:00:52 Not allow it. Technically since. Anyway, thanks all of you for listening. For the flat pass, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Super Elliott Kalen, because I ate a mushroom and it made me bigger. It's a ham. Oh, okay, bye. Get out of here. On this episode we discuss, the Super Mario Brothers movie. It's a Brothers movie. It's a me movie. Let's do that one over again.
Starting point is 02:01:30 No, it's not good, but because I almost started laughing through like writing the title. So, yeah, I think that's, I don't think that gets any more perfect, but if you want to do it again, you can. Let's just try and outskin decide he can be the comedy judge. On this episode we discuss the Super Mario Brothers movie, do it again, you can. Let's just try and outskin' decide he can be the comedy judge. On this episode we discuss
Starting point is 02:01:46 the Super Mario Brothers movie, the movie! Ha ha ha ha ha! Maximumfun.org, comedy and culture. Artist-owned, audience supported. audience supported.

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